#i'm obsessed with them can you tell?
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Sagiri and Gabimaru bonding over complaining about their respective sides going over the top is so good to me
#besties who complain together stay together#all of those moments where gabi sighed and complained must have awakened something inside sagiri lol#anyway i can't get over this moment#with the whole role thing and their current problems its just funny to me#that they found the time to go 'this is all bullshit right? right'#while they were cutting down the shinobi too!!#mowed em down and everything#i'm obsessed with them can you tell?#hell's paradise#hell's paradise spoilers#hell's paradise manga spoilers#jigokuraku#jigokuraku spoilers#jigokuraku manga spoilers#yamada asaemon sagiri#gabimaru#gabimaru the hollow#mettys posts#metty posts
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Wasn't it the entire plot of star wars ? 🤔
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Please do not steal/credit me if repost 🫶🏻
#can you tell i'm obsessed with them ?#obikin#obi wan and anakin#anakin skywalker#obi wan kenobi#star wars#star wars fanart#my art
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fluff, some angst | satoru gojo x reader.
vampire!satoru whose ears perk at the sound of the large doors of his castle creaking open. he hasn’t had visitors in years - centuries. who has now breached his sanctuary, is the question he asks you. you, who stand in the middle of his entrance hall with an anxious yet gullibly curious expression on your face.
vampire!satoru whose brow furrows at the sight of such a meek mortal staring him in the face. you ask him to feed you the knowledge he holds of countless decades that have passed, whether it be about medicine, society, or pure legend. satoru quirks his brow at this; your tone sounds as if you are demanding this of him, not asking.
vampire!satoru who appears in front of you in an instant, wrapped in a dark cloak that reaches his shoes. his hands remain behind his back, under his cloak, as he circles you and questions why he should do such a thing. “i know who you are, what you are. what is the purpose of your immortality if not to share your experiences?” you tell him.
vampire!satoru who, rather reluctantly, allows you to scour his endless libraries. he’s slightly bothered that he now must provide food for someone, as he himself does not eat. though he himself does not cook, his servants do. no, he doesn’t refer to them as servants. his companions.
vampire!satoru who, hears you knock on the door of his study only to enter without being permitted to. you take the chair diagonal to him and place the thick book you’ve been reading on your lap, before hurriedly turning to a specific page. you ask him about the book and listen intently to his comprehensive responses.
vampire!satoru who, at some point, finds himself looking forward to you interrupting him in his study, even when he's sleeping at his desk or reading his favourite book. he becomes hungry for your curiosity and indulgence in information only he can provide you.
vampire!satoru who falls so deeply in love with you that he makes you his wife but spares you the curse of immortality by not turning you into a vampire. though he wishes to keep you by his side forever, he cannot bare to have you fall into the darkness that is vampirism.
vampire!satoru who kisses you so deeply, a hand always steadying you against his larger frame as he feels you shiver when his fangs graze your soft lips. you can barely keep up with his desire and the way his fingers press so firmly into you, as if he's terrified of losing you (because he is, he just doesn't want you to know that and worry yourself).
vampire!satoru who assigns you a personal companion who tends to your every need - food, drink, comfort, guidance around the castle that you have still yet to memorise the rooms of. despite this companion, you still seek satoru's presence the most, even for the smallest of things.
vampire!satoru who doesn't know how he would have happily continued living in solitude if you hadn't stormed into his castle and demanded that he indulged you. satoru would change a lot of his past choices, but in every life would he admit you into his castle and allow you to replace it as his sanctuary.
sweetfushi © do not modify, repost, translate, copy or use my post in any way. all that is included in this post, aside from the fictional characters and universes, belong to sweetfushi (zee).
#i'm obsessed with vampires can you tell#i won't shut up about them you will hear me#satoru x reader#satoru gojo x reader#jjk fic#jjk headcanons#satoru gojo#jjk gojo#gojo satoru#gojo satoru x reader#jujustu kaisen#jjk#jjk fluff#jujutsu kaisen fluff#gojo fluff#gojo fic#gojo headcanons#satoru gojo headcanons#jjk x reader#jjk x you#jjk x y/n
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“a sexual awakening so intense it registered on the richter scale” is the single best and most accurate description I have ever heard.
pov: you're 16 years old and doing the final test for your super license ahead of joining f1 as the youngest ever driver. you expect the doubt and hate, and you know you can prove on track why you deserve to be there once you actually get in a car, but until then, you just have to be the subject of everyone's headlines and criticism for a factor you can't control.
then this guy comes along.
race winner who got himself to a top team and is beating his world champion teammate, a cool older handsome charismatic guy with a giant smile and big brown eyes, beloved and kind while still being fiercely talented, competitive, and hungry? the guy who you met in 2011 and who gave you the time of day before you were old enough to sniff at the f1 grid. he's not even going to be your actual teammate (yet), but he still takes the time to tell you he's looking forward to seeing you on the grid when so much of what you've heard is nonstop criticism.
he tells you good luck for your super license with a big grin meant just for you
and this is how it makes you feel.
this is live footage of daniel ricciardo becoming a permanent fixture in max's spank bank. it's one of those foundational crushes you have at a young age that sticks with you for life and unconsciously affects "your type" forever and never truly goes away.
also, i just think everyone should hear the way max very softly says "he's a really nice guy, yeah" with so much affection packed into every word.
how are you not to psychosexually imprint on him? one look at that video and max was ready to risk it all. he's been metaphorically tucking his hair, kicking his feet, and giggling since day one. he found a guy who he could race hard, who would challenge him on track, but who would still make the miserable pr days better for them, who was always laughing at max's jokes every time he did his little glance over to ensure it landed. max is so fiercely loyal to his people, and daniel has clearly earned that trust.
tldr: max verstappen is number one dirlie and if he were on f1blr, he would be writing long posts with onboards, data, and that ☝️🤓 attitude of his explaining in detail why everyone is wrong about daniel, and i hope it haunts all the max fans who get their rocks off to calling daniel a washed asshole loser that max's porn folder is daniel late braking compilations.
#ask#this got long. sorry. i also took a 5 minute crying break over old videos of daniel.#my exams start in a week and this is what i'm doing#anyway#OBVIOUSLY i don't think you have to like daniel ricciardo in order to love max.#but it's perplexing to me that people can look at someone who makes max so visibly happy#and dedicate their entire life to obsessively hate-posting about him.#move on! ignore him!#i couldn't tell you anything about a driver i hate's race besides the basic race coverage#because i don't dig into every facet of it to feed an pathological hatred.#i definitely couldn't tell you things about their personal life/anything what they've been up to/recent quotes/etc#because i just see them and scroll. wish others had that ability.#maxiel
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A magician never reveals his secrets, but Aziraphale has always been a terrible one.
(Maybe one day I'll learn to draw backgrounds.)
#can you tell i'm obsessed#good omens#good omens art#good omens fanart#aziraphale#aziracrow#crowley#drawtober#ineffable husbands#ineffable idiots#fell the marvelous#date night#good omens 1941#1941 aziraphale#1941 crowley#aziraphale x crowley#ineffable spouses#so normal about them
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There's this thing that you do You keep everything inside you Try to hide it more than I do But you feel it too
[pose pack coming soon thanks to @jpegelf ✨]
#cyberpunk 2077#cyberpunk 2077 photomode#cyberpunk v#silverv#johnny silverhand#female v#oc: vaye durand#johnny silverhand x v#ship: cherry bomb#cp2077#cp77#cyberpunk photomode#glitchcaps#glitchinginthegarden#anyway i'm super obsessed with them can you tell?
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Charles Tu and Michael Chang in
FIRST NOTE OF LOVE • 彈一場完美戀愛 (2024) dir. Shiue Bin Jian
#first note of love#弹一场完美恋爱#charles tu#michael chang#bldramaedit#asianlgbtqdramas#taiwanese drama#twdramaedit#can you guys tell that I'm obsessed with them?#I mean... the way they look at each other!#original content™
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#captain swan#cs gifs#ouat#ouat s4#I call this set: there's no such thing as too many selective color layers#I am OBSESSED with this kiss honestly and had to gif it#like this is what I think of whenever I'm reading a book/fic now and see the phrase:#“he captured her lips in a kiss”#or “he claimed her lips as his own”#or anything along those lines because LOOK at him#just take her upper lip like#finally#and I might have slowed down that first gif just a TOUCH too much but I really wanted to see it okay#I really wanted to study this kiss under a jar in gif form#I am nothing if not a Captain Swan kiss scientist you guys#I'm certified in everything#(certifiably crazy is more like it!)#I'm so normal about them#can you tell I'm rewatching this show lololol#my gifs
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Pest Control
So if you've been looking at my posts lately you'll realize I've been fixating on Queen Danny. And I'm going to keep doing that. But let me grind up some new concepts to throw in.
You think that bugs can become ghosts? Other than singular ones like in Doctor's Disorders? Not really. They're not as obsessed or driven enough to be fully formed, and areas where they become even blobs via excess ecto would probably have a bunch of blob eaters or something balancing it out. So the singular ones in that episode would be much more rare in comparison.
And ghosts who control bugs don't count. We're talking about bugs being the ghosts.
But what about those mass insect killings? Pest control, or when a full apartment building lights on fire and there's enough ectoplasm around? You get a Hive.
Hives always prefer to work together, since even at their creation they are made up thousands or even millions of the creepy crawlies. They either form a body from tiny bodies or chose a majority that can represent it properly. So they can just meld and split without concern.
And in the bug and insect world, more often than not, the Queen is at the top. Pariah didn't count, he didn't even like the Hives. On the other limb, High Queen Phantom had created a clutch of her own.
Once she came into power, the Hives wish to fulfill her desires, as insect kingdom instincts demand and through newfound loyalty. They do so, to the detriment of everyone else.
#dpxdc#dp x dc#dp x dc prompt#I'm slowly losing my mind#Ghosts have gender set to optional#I LOVE BUGS AND INSECTS#good parents jack and maddie#redeemed vlad#Yeah not as relevant but give me my wholesome weirdos! I want them!#My ideas are pretty stagnant I know but I'll get better I swear!#hives all start out as they with no gender or identity and either stay that way or developed a sort collective identity#I just slap ideas together really#I almost made a copy of Fright Knight's adventure to find a suit or but that would've been redundant#I'm obsessed with non-human thinking and looking things interacting with humans#can you tell?#dcxdp#dc x dp#dc x dp crossover
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/And Deuce has Stone Cold Style/
#monster high#mh#deuce gorgon#cleo de nile#garrott du roque#rochelle goyle#poly#sketches#fanart#my art#can you tell i'm a little obsessed#these are pretty old#but I still love them
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Sirius and Remus call each other baby, they look at each other like the other hung the moon in the sky, they make out indecently at every party or gathering, they're always all over each other like they're teenagers, they eye fuck from accross the room, Sirius is always sitting on Remus' lap like it's his personal throne, they greet each other by hugging fiercely like one of them is returning from the war, they're in their own little world, like there's no one else even when the room is full, they're possessive hands on hips and thighs, and sweet caresses on cheeks, they're secret whispers and understanding looks, they're disgustingly in love, it overflows everywhere as soon as they're together, they they they-
#wolfstar#can you tell i'm obsessed with them#never growing out of my wolfstar phase#sirius black#remus lupin#wolfstar headcanon#sirius and remus#sirius black x remus lupin#sirius × remus#marauders#marauders era#dead gay wizards
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I can't find art of my ship anywhere so I GUESS that means I have to make it myself, here are some doodles.
#ugh i can't believe i have to make my own shipping fanart#tfw you're complaining to your sister that you can't find any content of them but then you remember you have the power#man i do not know how to draw kissing or hugging or any of that romantic stuff#mostly i just know how to put paragraphs of dialogue in between two talking heads#but this seems to be something of a rarepair even though they are obsessed with each other so i suppose i gotta try#karlach#lae'zel#shipping#bg3#baldurs gate 3#karlzel#i think that's the ship name but i have found so little of them that i'm genuinely not sure#laelach#(just in case)#but come on they're perfect! they're sunshine/raincloud! dog energy/cat energy! tall/small! hot and cold! canonically into each other!#character who represses sadness and character who doesn't understand happiness! pretty girls who can both bench press each other!#considering what their banter looks like i don't get how this isn't a more popular pairing. who else does karlach wistfully sigh over?#my sister tells me that lae'zel is not well-liked by the wider fandom and that that may be why (so sorry if other people have bad taste)#or maybe people don't often put the barbarian and the fighter together in the same party at the same time#anyway now that you're 100% convinced feel free to draw them making out so that i don't have to k thx <3
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Come on, it always irks me when people call Dr. Ratio a Star Rail Al-Haitham or say that they're exactly alike when let's be real, they're quite notably different in specific but major ways. Yes, they're both really smart scholars and yes, they have personalities that make it difficult for others to like or get along with them but
Dr. Ratio considers himself a doctor on a mission to actively help other people become more educated and self-reliant. It's pretty much the reason he couldn't get into The Genius Society—he cares too much for others and doesn't follow the underlying apathy/cruelty to pursue all knowledge by any means with a disregard for others (We have been shown that there are kind/well-meaning people in the group, but there seems to be a very specific aspect that Nous has that Ratio hasn't been able to meet). He cares intensely and has a pretty big ambition.
Al-Haitham, on the other hand, focuses on himself first and foremost. That doesn't mean he doesn't care for others, but he believes that people should look out for themselves because a single person can't save everyone. He usually gets involved only if it affects him, and he adamantly prioritizes living a happy and peaceful life (which is so wholesome when you read his Story stuff). He doesn't get hands-on with helping every single person, he refuses to do so. I want to add that his having lower empathy isn't a bad thing, having lower empathy in general isn't an inherently negative thing. He cares in his own way and doesn't look down on others in the first place, much to contrary belief in-universe and out. He's a pretty laid-back person considering everything, he isn't as ambitious.
If anything, one of their big similarities is that they get generalized as "arrogant smart guys" by others.
#honkai star rail#genshin impact#dr ratio#alhaitham#character analysis#i know comparing them is an easy way to describe one of them to a person who might not know#but like it kinda kills me as a writer seeing it so much#both of the characters wouldn't care about how others see them but i do *pensive face*#there's an interesting phenomenon where memes and simplified explanations while making things#easier to understand also have warped players' perception of certain characters and whatnot#as a result characters get flanderized or stereotyped to a single trait#aka ayaka being seen as only obsessed with the traveler or a lot of tartaglia's traits being made to be his only thing#or yanqing being an arrogant kid that only wants to fight battles he can't win and only has the purpose of being beat up and humbled#you can tell i'm salty about all those LOL#struggling jpg thinks
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b team boys for the win!
#can you tell where i'm at in my relisten#gosh i love my boys#love how my wife and i are obsessing over them and shuffling them around in our barbie house#rqg#cel sidebottom#zolf smith#howard carter#james barnes#rqg oscar wilde#crayon creates
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Jurassic World: Camp Cretaceous
Running Gag: "What Are You Doing?"
#jurassic world: camp cretaceous#jwcc#yasmina fadoula#do you understand my hyperfixation level#do you know what it was like when I reflected on the last one at work#and pieced it together with three and four?#do you know what happened when I remembered that she asks that to Sammy?#do you know how upright I sat as I watched Ben and Yaz's conversations the next time around???#I finally gave up#and then I realized the truth:#she was SUPPOSED to ask him what he was doing with the hand sanitizer but they decided it worked better without the question#thus you can see her development: quietly judging and being confused to having to handle the small ones to just chatting casually#all five of them#and you can't tell me this wasn't deliberate#...I may have to sound out the others too#other things I'm picking up are that Kenji may have a verbal tic#Sammy corrects people#already compiling Ben's Toro obsession#but this one hit me and I seriously feel like this was a fun game the writers had#again I'll have to see if I can pull it off with the others#I know Darius yells it at Ben#but also I feel like Yaz isn't impulsive enough to be yelled at by the group#so I think it's just her#ben pincus#sammy gutierrez#darius bowman#brooklynn#kenji kon
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friendships as marital ties (and other notes on relational ties) in mlc
this is sort of a third installment in the series of meta on 'mlc as an exemplar of constructing queer narratives out of chinese ideological frameworks' (1. jianghu as queer space and 2. how it manifests in li xiangyi) - focusing on the nature of relationships in it. (which I've briefly mentioned in the first one and finally actually getting to it!!)
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I would like to first call attention to chinese ideological frameworks as a premise of queer reading in mlc. the goal of chinese philosophy is to explore the becoming of human, taking two broad paths of the (mainstream) secular vs. escaping the secular. (these two paths are not a strict dichotomy, and rather, are ever in flux and in conversation with each other.) as said by @markiafc too, chineseness is so much about the rigidity of structures, and in equal part, a desire to break out of them. thus, chinese ideological frameworks can very much offer a rich reading of queerness - that mlc, a story very deliberately structured based on chinese ideologies (more accurately, with good reasons for me to believe that it is as such), has managed to materialise.
if the conceptualisation of queerness is premised on a defiance against mainstream norms, then a reliable way to read queerness in chinese ideological frameworks can be to deconstruct it by the mainstream confucian frameworks.
in mlc, this is implicitly set up with its stage of wulin/martial jianghu. then it is further broken down by asking, hey wulin jianghu is still closely related to the hegemonic values and the mainstream structure of authority (historically, 侠 xia being politically involved says a lot about this), so what is the true meaning of jianghu? what does it then really take for jianghu to be a queer space offering comfort and freedom to those who have escaped to it - to be the space that allow the transcendence of rigid roles and labels? mlc took a step further to resist the proxy to mainstream values that wulin jianghu has become.
this is why there can be a very strong buddhism reading of mlc (suggested here, expounded in the A+++ meta by @markiafc here and here, and also what I've seen discussed by cnet as well), given that buddhism is one of the 'extra-secular' ideologies, alongside (philosophical) taoism. I've also touched on a taoist angle in this meta. both schools are articulated in different sets of languages, but ultimately convey a same ideal of what it means to be human and how to live well - that is, to resist the roles and labels defined by the norms.
so, back to confucian frameworks.
a lot can be discussed about mlc with it. but in the context of this meta about relationships in mlc, it's specifically drawing on how confucianism conceptualises social relationships with familial ties as a cornerstone, and how these relational ties are inextricable from the conceptualisation of the 'self'.
as such, one of the things about mlc that has fascinated me is how deliberately it seems to ignore and reject the conventional familial ties (the kind by blood and marital ties). I've joked about how it is a miracle for me to love mlc as much as I do, as a prime dysfunctional family story enjoyer, despite none of its main characters struggling with any complicated feelings about their (biological) parents. but on closer examination, mlc is also making a comment on the model of familial-based relationships that dominates mainstream society - but through the absence of it.
with this, I want to talk about 1) how mlc rejects the conventional ties; and then 2) how it repurposes these ties in its own ways.
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the five relational ties in confucianism:
father and son 父子有亲 - (natural) affection between father and son
ruler and subject 君臣有义 - righteous relationship between ruler and subject
older and younger brothers 兄弟 (长幼有序) - this is actually about seniority within the family; the order between older vs younger family members
husband and wife 夫妇有别 - differentiation between husband and wife (demarcated by the 内外 spectrum of gendered inner-external spheres)
friends 朋友有信 - trust between friends
logically inferred, all these ties are hierarchical and familial-based except for the last one: friends. ruler-subject is sort of an extension of the natural familial ties, while friendship is the inverse space of 1-4 (ie. you fall back on 5 to define a social relationship outside of the familial sphere that cannot be qualified as 1-4). while all are premised on mutuality, it is only no. 5 that is defined by a sense of choice and equality.
on the surface, 1-4 don't quite exist in mlc in particularly meaningful ways to the narrative or are even outright overlooked, and friendship is the relational tie most valued by mlc. we can tell it's true just by looking at the most meaningful relationships in mlc of difanghua. but at the same time, it is more nuanced. we can take a closer look at how the story plays around with most of the ties as part of a broader queer narrative.
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1) how mlc rejects the conventional ties
mlc's rejection of mainstream relational ties can be best seen in fdb escaping from marriage. and it was not just any engagement with anybody but an engagement with the imperial family. he struggles with the prospect of being married to princess zhaoling, but generally, it's about the idea of complying to mainstream conventions and expectations that includes compulsory heterosexuality. all these point not only to a defiance against amatonormativity - the resistance of the traditional husband-wife tie, but also an irreverence for the ties of ruler-subject (the engagement being an imperial decree) and father-son (matters of marriage being sole decisions made by parents).
of course this is on top of how fdb's own biological father is a p-o-s, and the narrative gives fdb minimal struggles in this aspect, allowing him to sever this tie without looking back (I love it, yeap). along the same line is how lxy is an orphan, who came to gain important relationships that are built on natural compassion among people rather than innate, blood-based ties - even as llh. the sense of defiance from the narrative is especially stark to me considering that he could have a completely different familial-based life - as a son, brother, and ruler, if his biological family was still around. the narrative also deliberately treats his biological brother as a phantom, replaced with an older brother who he was bonded with neither by blood nor marital ties. on dfs's front, absolutely nothing is to be known about his biological family. his childhood history with the toxic patriarch of his life - who is not even his biological father - was afforded a clean break and closure.
we can keep going on, but that's pretty much the point.
ritualisation is one of the most important things of the confucianism school, especially to the honoring of these social relationships (and the officiating of social roles). the one ceremony/ritual we saw in mlc involving the main characters - or more accurately speaking, came closest to seeing - was the imminent wedding ceremony of dfs and jlq. even in that case, it was premised on non-mutuality with dfs being the unwilling, passive party. (fem-coded dfs? 25 marks.)
and that brings us to the next part.
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2) how mlc repurposes these ties
that particular wedding ceremony gets hijacked by dfs and lxy/llh, and gets turned into an important milestone in their relationship. they consummate - what is on text - their friendship after a long time being more enemies and rivals than friends. it is a clear establishment of the trust they have for each other. and here it is where I circle back to the subject of this post: friendships as marital ties.
in this article, as a part of a feminist, egalitarian reframing of confucianism, there is a proposal for spousal relationships to be reframed as a friendship tie. (this aligns with the interrelatedness of the five ties eg. the ruler-subject mirrors father-son dynamic, with the confucian belief that rulers have an obligation to their subjects alike parents to their own children.) by doing so, it removes the functional, gendered differentiation assigned to marital ties, and shifts it to something equal, and independent of gender. you exalt the value of trust between spouses, instead of basing marital relationships on gendered roles. as such, spouses become more like friends, and conversely, friends can also become more like spouses. (romance not a prerequisite. it has never been about romance anyway.)
given that mlc has repeatedly applied marital motifs to llh and dfs's characters in their joint narratives, this opens up a reading friendships as a marital tie. seeing marriage as a bridge for strangers to become family, marriage in mlc becomes a metaphor for the chosen commitment and mutual trust put in by strangers/friends (non-familial ties) into the becoming of family. the blurring of lines between marital ties and friendship encourages a genuine space of queer experience that goes beyond any pressure for strict labels - of sexuality, and relationships as romantic, sexual, etc etc.
(note: despite the borrowing of a feminist concept, I strongly hesitate to call mlc a feminist story. it's a whole discussion - or debate - on its own. nevertheless, it is definitely a gender-conscious story that lays foundation for a strong queer and egalitarian reading.)
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it is to be noted that it is intended - and also beneficial to take the confucian framework of relational ties beyond face value. the framework offers what it believed to be the most fundamental social relationship dynamics, and sees room for extension and matching to other kinds of relationships (all if not, most). a relationship such as teacher-student, which is outside of the five ties stated, can also mirror the affection of father-son ties, albeit not in a literal and identical way.
speaking of which. fdb and lxy/llh.
indeed they're known by others to be good friends. fdb thinks they're good friends too - insists on it, and puts his best efforts in keeping it that way. but does it really go both ways? if it does not, then can it really still be friendship? my humble take is that, ultimately - weighing in with llh's perspective - this is a relationship that is not so much based on trust, and rather, based on an innate affection that is only unique to family. (in this case, not blood/marital-based but one that was chosen and built aka lxy's relationship with sgd.) in other words, less of a friendship, more of a familial one.
it is a lot clearer considering their relationship from llh's point of view: some brat you never wanted in your life came barging in, and whether he was going to bring any positive effect to your life was secondary to the tranquility - which you have carved for yourself in the past decade - that is so integral to your personhood. no way. but the moment you hear that he's family? well, that changes the game completely. even before learning about fdb being sgd's son (then beginning to take initiative in showing greater acceptance), it is apparent in llh that there was an instinctive resonance with fdb as his shixiong's nephew. (eg. he remarked to his shifu's grave about how alike fdb is to himself.) this is unlike with dfs whom he had taken a much longer time to build trust with. you do not apply trust - aka the quality of friendships - to family. family is something deeper, more instinctive than that. if fdb was never family, I find it hard to imagine given llh's personality, that he would have let some brazen, bratty stranger intrude for that long. (boy invited himself to llh's home, sat himself down eating the owner's dinner and nosing in his cooking abilities!!! ily bb but that was uncalled for 😭)
of course there are many more layers in their relationship. there is a substantial degree of their history as (unwitting) teacher-disciple: fdb is still healthy and alive all thanks to the existence of lxy as a spiritual teacher role model in his life, regardless it being one-sided or not. there is also indeed some part of friendship in it, especially from fdb's point of view. he sees llh as a kindred spirit who he could enjoy a life of freedom with for life. but llh never reciprocates. he knew this was short-lived. and so ultimately, the hierarchical layer of their relationship overpowers the equal one, where llh's treatment of fdb as a nephew/小辈 younger family member and a disciple is the one that sealed the fate of their relationship.
if (blood-based) familial ties are irrelevant in jianghu, then the closest proxy to a father-son relationship in the martial world would be a teacher-disciple relationship. lxy and his shifu are a clear, indisputable example. for fdb and llh, their teacher-disciple tie is murkier and not consistently applied. they were also never ritualised as teacher-disciple, and thus are not teacher-disciple in any official capacity as far as confucian ideas are concerned. yet in crucial moments, it is invoked by llh as a card of authority over fdb to get out of sticky situations with fdb. and there was their final scene together: in a moment of sincerity, llh gives the approval to fdb as his disciple - then entrusting fdb with the secret manual of his techniques, up until his final letter in which fdb was recommended to dfs as a successor to his martial abilities.
in an imperial setting, this would have been the relationship of an emperor and his crown prince that straddles both ruler-subject and father-son ties aka a tag-team of disaster. the teacher has an obligation to nurture his disciple as a successor to himself, and love him like a son too. on the flipside, he holds the final power in their relationship - withholding knowledge and feelings from the younger one. they are only equals in a way a parent-child can be. they are only equals as much as the parent allows. and this is how fdb got left behind in the dust of llh's departure. he was the child treating his parent like a friend, supporting him emotionally and begging to be loved back the same way he loves his parent - but the parent had a lifetime way ahead of him and stayed out of his reach, physically and emotionally.
llh and fdb operate with the trapping of a friendship but have always been family in the core. llh had known that way before fdb did, just like everything else he had known and put out of fdb's reach. because. fdb did not have to know. fdb is different and will forge his own path. and that's a kind of love llh has for him that nobody understands (in fact not even fdb himself) - one that is on a different plane from friendships.
by repurposing the framework of relational ties, mlc showed that the essence of familial relationships aka its intimacy and closeness can be independent from biology and formalised rituals. and it is important to myself for stories to say that people can build close ties and deeply meaningful relationships even without being born or ritualised into any.
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then back to how these relational ties are inextricable from the conceptualisation of the 'self' in confucian worldview: the roles you play in these relationships are intended to define you. there is no 'self' independent from it. while the concept of a social, relational self is fully rooted in reality, being locked into social roles can be a painful way to live - a way that llh has experienced as lxy the sigu sect leader. so, in order for lxy/llh to realise a sense of self that exists outside the norms, it inevitably points to another way that requires a cut from these relationships. that is then the buddhist (or taoist) answer of looking past attachments to the world such as the confucian idea of relationships defining your being. only with a dissolution of a sense of 'self', can there be true liberation.
#莲花楼#mysterious lotus casebook#lhlmeta#lhl#my posts#dihua#can't believe this is how i choose to spend an inordinate amt of my free time 😐�� being a broken recorder of brainrot 😐#anw the handful of fanghua moments that have moved me are the ones that are about the unbridgeable gap between them as 长辈小辈 as 徒弟师父#(me realising lxy telling fdb 这个徒弟我没有白收 actually drives me nuts)#me: a brainrot-level dihua shipper first and foremost. also me: dedicating more of this meta to fanghua than dihua#about how fanghua's relationship is its own unique kind in the story. equally deep as dihua. just in a wholly different way.#dihua are friends and married and familial. but fanghua is family through and through#-> tl;dr of this meta actually#i just have extremely strong feelings about fanghua as a complicated little family unit.#which is independent of “shipping” FOR ME. but for anyone else though you can make anything out of it.#(gotta admit i'm a bit antsy about posting this and is uncertain how it's gonna be read. bc my reading of fanghua is so specific...well)#anyways. obsessed with dihua appropriating the heteronormative rituals <3#edit: I CAN'T BELIEVE I FORGOT TO TALK ABOUT DIFANG aaaAAAGHHHHHHHHHH#but. it's true they're very purely friendship-based i think
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