#i'm not your fucking therapist

[kylievershion]

me wondering why my 17-30+ deviantart 'friends' have the nerve and audacity to randomly vent to me as if I'm their fucking therapist and continue talking about some random drama that was over with months ago

[torchstelechos]

People be like, how you doing? And I'm like, Loop is never going to see their family again.

[hexcoreviktor]

love how i, as a grown ass adult, am still fucking terrified of groups of teenagers 🙃

[smolmakerel]

"Do you sit down in the shower, Tara?"

Tara blinked in surprised before narrowing her eyes. "What?"

Her new therapist, Abby Turner, was staring at her with a relaxed expression of genuine curiosity. She didn't really look the part of a therapist, sitting there in a yellow cardigan that matched the socks with SpongeBob on them. If anything, she looked a lot like a teacher Tara had in second grade minus the thick rimmed glasses.

"Do you sit down whenever you take a shower?" Abby asked again, shifting to cross her legs. She drew her fingernail over the metal clip of her clipboard.

Still, Tara was taken aback by such a question. She felt oddly seen through.

"Why?" Tara shot back instead.

Abby laughed softly. "There's no need to be defensive. I was going over our notes from last time and thought about what you said."

What she said? What did Tara say, exactly?

"I don't remember saying anything bad," mumbled Tara.

"No, nothing bad. I'm sorry if I made you panic."

At that, Tara hardened her gaze and looked away. Leave it to the therapist to know when her thoughts were spiraling out of control. God, Tara only had 7 sessions with her, and Abby thought she knew everything about Tara.

"It's ok if you do," Abby went on to say. Tara's face soured, and Abby unfortunately caught that. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Another one?" Tara tried to joke, but Abby saw through her facade. "If I didn't know any better, I'd think you were trying to play 20 questions."

She chuckled awkwardly. "Why do you sit down in the shower?"

"Because... I uh..."

"Take your time."

Tara was at a loss for words. Why did she sit down in the shower? She never really noticed she did it until Abby sent her back with homework to figure out things she noticed about her dailey routine. Which included an hour long shower; Tara would be sitting in the tub allowing the hot water to hit her back. While she sat, tremors would rack her body and her irritation would rise.

"I get in the shower in the morning," Tara explained slowly, still processing her thoughts. "Before class so no one has to see me all... icky."

"And do you think there might be another reason for sitting down?" Abby inquired. "I only ask because of your water bottle comment."

Tara looked unsure at that. She brought her hands to her lap to fidget with her nails. The comfortable gray armchair she sat on never felt more uncomfortable under the watchful eye of her therapist.

"S-Sorry, but I don't remember talking about that."

"That's ok," her therapist assured her. "Last time, you talked about how you needed to clean your room. You have a lot of water bottles on your table and floor, clothes in your bed."

Recognition flashed in Tara's eyes. "Right. Sorry."

"Depression and anxiety after a traumatic event is completely normal, Tara. In fact, I would be surprised if you didn't have one of those with what you've been through."

Tara shrugged. "It's nothing. Other people have been through more than me; I'm just being selfish."

Selfish. She had always been selfish; even her own mother thought so, and she made sure to remind Tara anytime she was in town.

Abby wrote something down, nodding to herself as if all of Tara's issues were understandable now.

"I sit on the floor," Tara suddenly said in the uncomfortable silence. She didn't look at her therapist at all, ashamed. "I get so... tired sometimes. And it isn't because of the metal in my leg! It's me! I wake up tired, go through the day angry because of how tired I am, and go to sleep tired. But then I can't sleep and I just..." She huffed in frustration, nails dug into her palms. "I don't know what to do."

Abby leaned back in her chair and flipped her clipboard over on her lap. Her eyes watched Tara's face closely.

"Is there anything you have that could help you sleep?" Abby asked. "A stuffed animal, a nightlight...?"

Tara's mind immediately drifted to her older sister. Sam was strong enough to keep Tara's night terrors away, yet she's soft enough to wrap Tara in her arms and calm her down. No matter how much Tara yells and sobs in her sleep, no matter the bloody scratch marks on her arms, no matter how Tara dissociates to protect herself. Sam was always there.

"No," Tara claimed instead.

Abby cocked her head. "And your sister isn't willing to help you?"

Tara shook her head. "No, she is but... I don't want to bother her with my problems."

Abby flipped her clipboard back over and wrote something down. Tara wanted to chuck the damn thing out the window. She lowered the clipboard again.

"Based on what you've told me about your sister, she sounds like just the person you need at night," Abby pointed out with a soft smile. "I'm sure she'd be willing to help if you asked."

'But I can't!' The words burn acid on Tara's tongue.

"Ok."

Fuck.

[♡♡♡]

Tara raised her hand at Sam's door and drew it into a fist. It hovered in the air for a long few seconds.

Then she knocked.

The door opened not even a second later, and Sam was standing there rubbing her eyes.

"Tara?" Sam mumbled. She instantly woke up, eyes darting over Tara looking for some sort of injury. "Are you ok? What are you doing up right now?"

"Can... Can I sleep in here with you?" Tara asked and before Sam could respond, she was babbling. "I'm sorry if I woke you up with this. Fuck, I'm so stupid. This was a mistake, I didn't mean to wake you up with my stupid problems. I-I'll go back to my room. Sorry -"

"Tara."

Tara's breathing hitched when Sam gently cupped her face, and - Oh. That was actually kind of nice. She sank into the warmth of Sam's palms.

"Let's go to bed, ok?" Sam whispered.

Tara nodded, throat thick with emotion. "Ok."

It was about 20 minutes later when they were settled in Sam's bed. Tara was dozing off finally, face buried into Sam's chest as her arms wrapped around her.

She stirred slightly when Sam kissed the top of her head. Her fingers tucked a few strands of hair out of Tara's face.

"I love you, Tara," Sam muttered.

Tara, too exhausted to say anything, simply turned her head and kissed Sam on the palm. She settled back down and relaxed into a peaceful sleep.

[andi-o-geyser]

on my anti dr. jacob agenda sooo hard you don't even know. like the level of just how unprofessional, unethical, and fucking infuriating his choices are is putting me into so much of a rage i can no longer maintain my danny rojas level of live laugh love in this economy. bastard. bastard man. my worst enemy. im calling the kansas college of registered psychotherapy and regulatory board of ethics on him don't test me

[aurantiumred]

see i would write my stormlight archive / percy jackson crossover but the fact of the matter is leo would run around calling the stormfather "shiny sky daddy" and would therefore perish in his first highstorm/his first interaction with an honorspren.

[ef-1]

girlhood

[musashi]

thinking about all the times in the last few years i have tried to vent to friends and more or less gotten told "you're fucking crazy and need to be institutionalized" but in wokespeak and how every time it was usually something i viewed as very mundane and solvable with social support like "i feel kinda bad about my art" or "im lonely" or "i'm having a bad day at work"

and being like wow you people would have straightup abused me when i was a young adult if this is what you think "needs professional intervention" looks like. i lowkey fear i will be alone forever lsfdkhgsfgds

[onlyasimp4nobody]

[triaelf9]

good morning! if you have a beef with a series or a scene in the series, fanartists can't do anything to fix that! And unloading on them on a post with their art isn't going to do anything but make the artist feel shitty! hope this was helpful! ^_^;;;

[an-ruraiocht]

sometimes self compassion is the opposite of letting yourself off easy. sometimes self compassion means holding yourself to account and demanding you do better which is so much more work than just punishing yourself. making yourself feel bad so that you feel better is a lot easier than putting the work in to actually repair harm and be less shit. it doesn't feel like that when you're down in the self punishment instinct hole and your brain is telling you that you don't deserve not to be hurt but. it's true.

[andromedaexists]

"i'm literally never beating the allegations" and then the allegations are that i like skrunkly looking guys

[shiraishi--kanade]

At this point my blocked blogs list on this blog is extemely extensive and if anyone approaches me asking why I've blocked them the answer is 99% likely to be because you thought it appropriate to talk about your trauma on 10 notes personal post rb.

I mean it's weird how this keeps happening, but I think people need to develop some sort of etiquette cause what the hell.

This is a rb website, sure! You can do whatever you want. Except I can see your reblogs and read everything you say even if I don't want to because who would even consider turning notifications off on a post they didn't think anyone would rb with that, let alone rb in general? "Talking in tags" rules don't apply to posts like that.

Unless you are initiating a conversation with me specifically, I don't need to hear how depressed you've been in my notifications out of nowhere when I don't even know you. You're not talking into a void like you would on a 10k note post, you're all but yelling into my face. Have some semblance of courtesy and understand how this website works. Or else I'll whack you away with a block. Final warning.

[lanonima]

Palia is so real for letting you be the town whore romance everyone at the same time

I'm not going to do that but I think it's fantastic that you can

[fishparasite]

"your father thinks it's all my fault, your sister thinks it's all my fault, you think it's all my fault" okay at a certain point you have to look inward and ask yourself "am i making life difficult for everyone around me?"

[antiyourwokehomophobia2]

God fucking bless. My therapist reccomended I get into an IOP program. I just got off the phone with the woman doing my intake and she straight up said "yeaaa, they're not going to let you do an IOP. The way your thoughts and actions align would have them make you do a full residential treatment which is a month long." and I not only didn't like hospitalization last time but I'm really not interested in taking time off of school AGAIN. This degree has already taken me so fucking long. SO fucking long. It's not my fault. My dad died in my second year and threw me off balance like a motherfucker but holy fuck lmao. I cannot keep pursuing my degree. I think I need to quit my depression cold turkey.