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#i'm not used to much carrying capacity
friberchi · 1 year
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made her as a Fighter in the end
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dogearedheart · 2 months
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the thing is, coming down from that episode (whatever it was) has definitely happened at the right time
#I have grown a lot in the past month#and despite being tired and carrying a lot of (maybe unnecessary) guilt and shame#there is still so much more to me as a person. I'm not a perfect person#But I am trying#I am trying every damn day and I hope that's worth something.#my life is riddled with being left and being too intense and maybe too fucked to be ever anything but an acquaintance#and i don't claim to be perfect. I'm actually so incredibly far from it. but i have the right to exist#maybe love. in any capacity is unattainable for me and maybe I'm greedy for ever wanting it#and yeah. maybe my hope is small and fragile and useless. but maybe one day someone will look at me and say#i know you are fucked up. i can see the ugliest parts of you. the rotten ones. but they won't make me leave. not now not ever#maybe it's a little selfish. life isn't like the movies. these things usually don't happen and I'm also surprisingly okay with that#because I'm 24 and I feel like I've already been through so much grieving that I'm just tired and not up to fight for it anymore#I've been feeling lonely for most of my life. the times i didn’t where the best pf my life and i will cherish them forever#but there is no use in forcing connections. I'm aware that I'm an emotional wreck. someone who selfs-sabotages like it's their hobby#and it's difficult to get to know me in the first place. but again.#i am trying to find comfort in the loneliness and not crave love so desperately#i was trying to go somewhere with this post but i lost the plot lol#this isn’t necessarily me being negative about the whole topic but rather me trying to grow and let go of the idea that#idk... life plays out like a movie where someone is going to listen to you and see you and still say.#I'm gonna stay and I'm going to love you even tho you deem yourself a monster and unlovable.#we're both cursed. in a way. but we still deserve love#alex talks
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blackmesa-vr · 8 months
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🥊🏆
#I hate making textposts because it feels like a big statement. A commitment of sorts. And that's not what I'm going for.#I don't expect anything I write to be read and they are not made with that purpose.#I write to let it out. Get it out of me. Make sure it's somewhere so at least I know I won't carry with me until my death.#So‚ with that said‚ I've been thinking a lot lately.#About fighting. About the curse of being the underdog by design. About how that only ever meant I was set up for failure.#In my games. In my ring. It was designed so despite it all‚ I could find a way to win.#Because it otherwise wouldn't be *fair* to the player. Despite the lack of rules. Despite the disparity in power and abilities.#It was still at least slightly *fair*. I always had a way to get close. Had an opening I could exploit.#We were still‚ despite everything‚ playing the same sport.#Smash is not like that. Nothing else is like that.#Only ever in the ring. Only ever in that small part of my life could I manage to be *more*.#It makes me think it was never me that did all that. I never had the capacity to win. I was never given the tools to survive.#I onlh just managed to get lucky with my environment.#There's something about trying your very best‚ working yourself to the bone‚ using every tool you have and all the strength you can muster.#And still be the weakest. I never stood a chance. There's no way the man designed to always be too small and too disadvantaged#could've ever truly pulled through.#Sigh!#At least I'll always be World Champiom. If only for a short while.#🥊🏆#I wonder if anyone else in the roster thinks about it. I wonder if it matters as much to them as it does to me.#Then again‚ most of their lives are not defined by fighting. So. I think my perspecfove may just be skewed.#Do they even know how much I resent them for the tools they were given... For the fact they were allowed to play an easier game than me...#rambling#Joker Persona 5. Hit me up. I have opinions about you you couldn't even begin to imagine.
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zosanbrainrot · 1 month
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part 05!!
01 02 03 04 05 06
It's been a while since I last worked on this comic, I've been busy
☘️🦋☀️ experiencing summer ☀️🦋☘️
which was and still is a lot of fun!
ANYHOW, I feel like when I stop drawing for a while it usually does me good, like, I'm very happy with my art quality in these panels and I didn't change much since the first draft (I still overthink some of the decisions but not as much as with the last part lmao).
It's like when in games you have a separate bar for running/stamina and it can only fill back up fully once you go slow and just walk for a while, but if you insist on running all the time it's never really at full capacity. Can't think of a better analogy, but lmk if you feel the same!
One of the things I maybe would have done differently is to have Yonji take the spear out of Zoro's shoulder, maybe?? It was so good when I first saw people draw a parallel between Zoro and Yonji because of their hair color and that maybe Sanji subconsciously has thought about this too ever since he and Zoro met. Not a meaningful thing for their relationship but more of an offhand thought that would surface from time to time. Him carrying the memories of his childhood all the time with him.
But! The upside of me not picking Yonji is that both Ichiji and Niji have the goggles so without their eyes visible they feel kinda distant emotionally and that works both bcs of who they are and also bcs the comic is not about them, in that panel where Niji has Sanji in a headlock the emotional focus is solely on Sanji.
And also Yonji just turned out so good there that I didn't wanna go back and change him lmao
I admit, when I was coming up with the plot of this comic in a frenzy right after watching these eps I kinda forgot about Nami slapping Sanji lmao I only recently remembered :' ) Don't wanna dwell on it too much though.
This part feels maybe more distant overall - I don't have any closeup shots (except the spear!) and the last moment you see Sanji's face fully is when he looks at Zoro. Zoro who got hurt. Again. Because of him.
I can't remember what I'd been thinking while boarding these, it'd been mostly vibes based, but I think the function of this part ended up being about showing a sequence of events rather than focusing on the emotions. It's pushing the plot forward and I think if I added closeups to the Vinsmokes then it'd be derailing a bit, again, it's not about them.
On the other hand it also works for Sanji shutting his emotions off, once his brothers and Judge enter the scene he has no leeway, he can't let his true feelings show. He's already shown too much. And what did it lead to? Everyone getting even more hurt. He let himself slip up during his fight with Zoro and Judge quickly put him back in his place. As long as the Strawhats were on the island they weren't truly safe. So he turns on his heel and walks back to the carriage, not looking back, he can only hope that Zoro's gonna pull through. He always does, he's been through worse, right? Right? They've never fought like this before though... The burn marks will take long to heal... And Luffy, has he woken up yet? No, no, no, he can't look back. And Nami...
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So that's that! I got part 06 half finished already, so that should be out soon <333
as a bonus thing - some of the refs I've used for this part
3D models posed in Magicposer!
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ftmtftm · 2 months
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Work anecdote I've talked a bit about before, but feel a little more comfortable talking about in more detail now that I'm not working that job and not in that city anymore.
When I was living in Seattle I was working a retail job where the majority of the staff under 30 was queer - mostly nonbinary - and the majority of the staff over 30 was cishet - mostly married women in their 40's + 50's as second household incomes - just to sort of paint the picture of my workplace environment. We only had one cis guy on the staff who wasn't the manager and he was less than a year younger than me (26).
Our one cis guy was the most recent full time hire for awhile, and he got paid more than all of us, starting wage. My coworker who was the longest standing employee at our location - but was nonbinary, more fem presenting, and alternative - got paid less than him. My coworker and I had the same wage after we both got raises. My manager liked me enough that I jumped a few raises to get paid as much as them.
Professionally I was relatively binary presenting + gender conforming at the time - though I was open about being trans and it was always more in a "I could pass as cis queer on a good day" and "People who know what trans people look like can clock me" way. Having a very "traditionally masculine name" and he/him pronouns is definitely a safety measure, but it only does so much when you're out, kind of clocky, and unwilling to fully compromise queer self expression.
Which is all to say - shit like this is complicated. I got paid less than the newer cis guy, the same as my fellow senior staff nonbinary coworker / other full time staff, and more than my coworkers who were my juniors and/or part time. My masculinity + work ethic carried me into my managers good graces and a raise - but not enough to be on the level as the cis man. Literally. He got hired before my raise.
Gender dynamics like this are almost never going to be clean and cut and dry but queer folks - especially openly queer folks - are almost always all going to be ostracized in some capacity in the workplace like this. And we all talked about it together, because even if it impacted us all differently it still impacted us all and that much was obvious enough to us to advocate for each other. It was a moment of solidarity not division.
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ashherahh · 2 months
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what messages you need right now
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Note: Please take it if it resonates, leave it if it doesn't. Meditate before making your decision. It's completely okay if you don't resonate with this reading. The collective is huge and I'm sure you'll receive the messages you need in due time.
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pile 1
If everything worked out for you all the time, how would you ever grow?
This period of your life is calling you to cultivate a new perspective of not only yourself but your life as a whole.
I'm picking up the energy of someone who has always known what to do. Someone who made plans that always worked out for them. You never had to worry about things not working out because they always did. And now that you've found yourself in a rut of sorts and your plans are falling through, your confidence has gone down the metaphorical drain.
Spirit wants you to know that you have been blessed with being decisive and secure in yourself, you never had a reason to doubt your decision. This season is just meant to broaden that, to help you gain a deeper understanding of yourself. Your being called to become someone, who no matter what happens around you or what doesn't work out for you, you are still solid in who you are.
The time you spend focusing on this will pay off and I see you going on to achieve so much more than you could ever hope for.
pile 2
Your family is very important to you. You would do anything for them, and there's a situation taking place right now, with the more nurturing and maternal figure in your life.
You are so stressed and you're taking so much on your plate. I literally just want to hug you right now. I'm feeling this weight in my belly and my chest. The burden you carry is too much for one person. You are feeling so stuck. I literally feel like crying while doing this reading for you.
This is not the first time it's happening so no wonder you feel stuck. You keep pouring from your cup and you don't have the time to fill it or there's no one around to fill up your cup.
As hard as it will be do to, you are being called to create some balance. You are such a loyal person, it feels like you're betraying them by focusing on you because you feel they need your time and resources more than you do.
Spend time outside, do breath work, meditate, and do this consistently. If you can't make the decision now to create balance, at least find the time to breath and do some grounding exercises.
You can't be there for anyone else if you're not there for yourself first.
pile 3
Spiritually and emotionally, you are very strong but this is not reflecting in your physical world at the moment.
I see that your intuition is strong, but there's doubts, fears, you feel as though it can't possibly be true if it's from you. I'm seeing the word insecurity. I'm picking up on very, very intense emotions.
Do you doubt yourself because you rarely received affirmation?
I want you to know that not everyone needs to hear what you have to say. I say this because not everyone has the capacity to understand you. This pile is a very spiritual group of individuals, many of you had been outcasts because you couldn't connect with others.
You are still in your shell, you are still being moulded and transformed. It's a process that should be intimate, not everyone needs to know and not everyone needs to see.
Spiritual transformations are always intense because we wish someone could guide us. Some are fortunate enough to be blessed with that environment and with teachers, but if you are the first in your line, which I see many of you are, you will have to forge your own path.
The Moon is quite significant to you and in this process. Now is a good to take up following the Moon cycle.
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silence-burns · 9 months
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The Death of Me //part 1
Fandom: Aquaman
Summary: (very small spoilers for the movie) Finding Orm on your doorstep was not something you expected. Having him move in was even worse. But the effect he still had on every part of your life would be the death of you.
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The sun was blinding, but unfortunately, not enough to make the man standing before you disappear.
“You're in surprisingly good shape for a dead person,” you said.
“And you look terrible for someone supposedly alive,” said Orm.
You shrugged and immediately regretted it. The tight bandages keeping your shoulder in place worked as a poor reminder it was out of commission for the next few weeks.
“How I've missed that princely charm. Piss me off some more and, half-dead or not, I'm gonna kick your ass back into that desert I got it from. It might be the last thing I do, but if I become a ghost, I'll brag about it for eternity.”
Your mood soured further with every minute you remained conscious. Surprises and resurrections, you could deal with, but your ability to be polite left long ago. There were a lot of impolite and certainly unprincely words bubbling in your chest, but they all disappeared when the most magical, impossible, and straight-out-of-fairy-tales thing happened.
Orm, of his own volition, smiled.
The sun was still doing its best to blind your already red and swollen eyes—it failed yet again. You examined the strange occurrence, with the furrowed brows and all the small wrinkles and tiny folds in the skin that usually accompanied a person’s smile looking perfectly normal on his face. It was a genuine smile. You could only blink at him for a moment
“I thought scowling was the only expression you had. Like a factory setting, you know.”
“I'm glad to hear you are as sharp as ever, despite your current shortcomings.”
“Excuse you, I'm in great shape.”
The man in front of you politely didn't argue. It was rather clear from his expression that he had some serious doubts about not only the state of your body, but also about your mental capacity of acknowledging said state, but he made the wise choice of keeping these thoughts to himself.
Wise was your middle name; therefore, you allowed the silence to confirm your words. At the same time, you shifted more of your weight against the doorframe, hoping your grimace came across as menacing rather than painful. Your leg needed a bit of rest, nothing serious. It totally wasn’t almost crushed to pieces a few weeks ago.
The smile on Orm’s face, an expression you could get used to seeing, started to shift into a look of concern as he watched your eyes. You looked away, afraid of how much he could see. Before you could react, he picked you up and carried you inside the house.
It was a pretty house, very spacious, just like old rich men tended to enjoy—which might explain why Batman bought it a long time ago as a safehouse far from any prying eyes, and why he allowed you to occasionally use it as such.
Yet, despite all the initial spaciousness, it was rather easy to clutter if the person living inside had a few cracked bones, general lack of energy to move, and never invited anyone around to see the mess.
Orm raised an eyebrow when he noticed a sofa dragged into the kitchen area and the amount of empty, crushed packaging laying around it. You hated how much could be expressed without saying a word.
“Put me down.”
Your words came out weaker than intended. Orm held you in a bridal carry which put immense pressure on your cracked ribs and sent flashes of pain every time you inhaled. But he was so warm and close that your anger sizzled and faded.
With your head on his shoulder, you had the perfect view of his perfect profile and the perfect frown deepening the wrinkles between his brows.
“So, this is how you live now?” was all he said, in a controlled tone.
“I know you're not deaf and heard me the first time. Put me down. Preferably on my beautiful and completely normal kitchen bed, thank you.”
You sighed with relief once he finally listened. Even though the pressure of his arms around you disappeared, somehow you still felt his warmth, as if it seeped into your battered, bruised flesh. You felt your face getting hot and decided against following that train of thought.
Your heart, for a reason you also chose to ignore, skipped a beat when Orm turned on his heel and walked back to the front door. It took him comparatively less time than when you had to drag your ass to open it a few minutes ago.
But rather than walking outside and disappearing from your life again, Orm only closed the door. And then turned the lock too.
“I don’t like where this is going,” you said, in vain hope that all of this was just a bad dream you'd soon wake up from.
“What a shame,” Orm said with no shame whatsoever in his voice.
“Why are you here? I might be a little late with that question, but I'd still love to know the answer.”
Orm took measured steps to the kitchen table, assessing the seat with the least amount of trash surrounding it, and sat down. He sat upright, posture uncompromised in the face of a backless stool, and folded his hands on the table. How he looked royal surrounded by trash and cold leftovers was beyond you.
“As you have witnessed, thanks to Arthur, after that final battle I got a way out of my old life. I enjoyed it for the most part, and even wandered the surface world for a while. And then I heard about your accident and came to settle my debts.”
“You don't have a debt to me.”
“When I was awaiting sentencing for my crimes, you were the one that took care of me. And not so long ago, you helped Artur break me out of that prison. That alone guarantees my utmost respect.”
“Your debt is paid, you owe me nothing.”
“That's not how it works.”
“I don't need a nurse, especially one who isn’t wearing a sexy costume.”
“I'm afraid that part is not negotiable.”
“Wait.” You squinted, doing your best to focus your thoughts despite a rising migraine. “This cottage is in the middle of nowhere, with the nearest town a few hours on foot and only if you already know the way. And the only people that knew I got… a little roughed up, were those in the Justice League. Did Artur give you a ride here because he felt guilty he didn’t stop that building in Venice from falling on me?”
“Every day I am thankful that I don't know the inner workings of my brother’s mind.”
“So he did.”
You let your head fall back onto the makeshift kitchen-bed. It was too much for you.
You grabbed the pills from your secret under-the-pillow stash of meds and swallowed some painkillers.
“I'm going to kill your brother.”
“May you have more luck than I did. Now, do you even own any clean clothes?”
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eribent · 17 days
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It's not a lack of media literacy to question the purpose of telling a certain kind of story at a certain point in time. It's actually like, a core part of examining media and the function of a story to take the context surrounding a story's creation into account.
If the purpose of Mismag is to make fun of and parody Harry Potter, great! It worked for those 4 episodes + the special but frankly, it feels difficult to carry an entire 11 episode narrative on the backs of that. It's an extremely flimsy narrative foundation unless you want to repeat the same handful of jokes that the original run already made.
Which is why I am hopeful that they've moved away from the HP parody. Aabria is a deeply competent and thoughtful DM. The cast are great role players. The trailer gave us bits that are clearly deeper in some capacity, but in what capacity we don't know yet. I am personally still wary because there hasn't been much to dissuade that wariness. The first episode will be telling I think, but there's nothing wrong with vocalizing concerns or exhaustion towards the subject matter in the mean time.
I want Mismag to be good. I want it to succeed. I want to be wrong about my concerns. I think a lot of folks are mistaking concern or disappointment for a burning, passionate desire to find a reason to cancel Dropout across the board and yeah - this is Tumblr I'm sure there are folks who are doing that - but there's no reason to treat everyone else's hesitancy as if that is universally the case or as if they are ignorant to the general personal politcs of the cast/crew/Dropout, lest you also become the shitty and annoying Black And White Thinking Only Tumblr User yourself.
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sehnsuchts-trunken · 5 months
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I'll Show You Just How Sad I Am
a raymond smith x reader quick little blurb, just 1k words
there's mentions of smut in this so read at your own risk <33 who knows, maybe raymond will make a more regular occurrence on my blog over the next few weeks
here's my masterlist in case you want to check out my other works
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"Should be the door to your left, honey."
Your voice is sweet in his ear, a pleasant distraction from the run-down building Mickey had sent him off to. It's smelly and dirty and even though he knows he should most likely feel pity, he's still just as disgusted. He'd be with you in a heartbeat if he could, safe and clean in the comfort of your home.
"Mickey should've sent a cleaning lady", he grunts as he knocks at the door, your chuckle almost making up for the very truthful, thinly veiled anger behind his words.
"Mickey wanted you because you're the best", you recite - you've told him often enough by now that it really is reciting. "And because he trusts you to keep this clean."
Which is easier said than done.
Twenty minutes later, the whole thing's anything but clean.
Sure, he'd very much accomplished bringing Laura home - but he'd also left a dead teenager in a puddle of blood about two stories down from where he should've been sitting.
"Left, left!", you call into the mic. Even though you're far from panicking, you're still much too loud, your voice flowing from his earpiece and stinging his brain.
"I'm trying, darling", he grunts back, breathless and panting as he pushes on, one foot in front of the other on the pavement of some random South London streets.
"I know, I know", you sigh. He isn't sure whether he's actually hearing you chew on your lip or imagining it, but he doesn't really have the capacity to think too much about it at the moment. "He's right in front of you. You've got him, Ray."
Yeah... The only problem is that what you must be seeing as a moving, flashing dot on a digital map, he's seeing as a bunch of teenagers trying to look intimidating. Probably feeling intimidating too. God, this is exactly why he didn't want the job. He isn't made for the fucking low-classed youth.
"You've seen enough?", that bastard of a boy spits at him. "Now I've got backup."
Raymond steadies his hands on his thighs and takes a deep breath in.
"You couldn't back up a phone, you cunt", he rasps, his erratic heartbeat slowly starting to calm back down.
"Raymond", you scold. "That's a child."
"That's a bastard", he mutters, before he finally straightens and tries his best at a somewhat mannered bargain. He's really only here for the fucking phone. He needs those pictures, then he's gone. He doesn't want to leave more unnecessary corpses to take care of.
So he offers them money. Which is something that they should definitely take, just judging by how they look. Plus a visit to a very good psychiatrist. But they don't. It's the same fucking bastard who's taken the pictures in the first case and got him into this mess that refuses - and in such a really stupid way, too: "How 'bout you give us that bag and be gone anyway?" - god, even you let out a choked up laugh at that, your breath carrying through the mic and into Ray's earpiece.
He drops his chin to his chest and shakes his head. What a fucking bunch of idiots. Goddamn it. He can feel his blood boil, hot and hotter.
"It's bait", you mutter, your voice low. "Calm down, love. You've got a machine gun. Use it."
Yeah, fucking hell, it's bait, he knows that. It doesn't change the way he's feeling. But your voice in his ear at least brings him back down to reality.
"Right", he grunts, then he swipes his coat to the side, closes his hand around the grip of the gun and steadies his fingertips against the trigger. He pulls it out in one swift motion, points it at the sky and shoots. For a good three seconds longer than necessary.
"Just like that", you breathe, your grin dripping down onto your voice and melting into his ear like honey. You've really got to stop that, he actually loses his focus for half a moment there and in his line of work, next time that means sure death.
The entire bunch of teenage boys flees - as expected - and in less than a minute, Raymond has the phone pressed into his palm.
"God, sometimes I really hate that I'm not there", you sigh, something in the background ruffling, probably as you shift into a more comfortable position on your chair. "Kinda wish I could've seen you."
"Run after a little cunt like that? You didn't miss anything, darling", he says, turning his head left and right before he strides back towards the car, his steps long and purposeful.
"Turn the corner here", you mutter, your voice taking on that specific tone that tells him there's a lazy grin licking at your lips. He can just imagine how you're looking (especially now that he has the time and freedom of mind for it) - one foot propped up on those bar stools that you'd bought for the kitchen, your equipment organised on the table top in front of you, his shirt hanging from your shoulders and pooling in your lap, your head tilted back and your eyes half-closed as you talk to him.
"I don't mean the little idiot", you go on, undeterred even as he narrowly avoids a trash can. Fuck, you really distract him too much. "I'm talking about you. God, you sounded so hot I wanted to jump at you. Actually scratch that, I still do."
He lets out a chuckle as he spots the car, his steps slowing. He should hurry up, he knows that. But he's got you in his ear, talking in that sweet voice of yours about just how much he affects you. He can't pass up on that.
"You're a little fuckin' minx, darling", he mutters with a grin, throwing a glance over his shoulder to check if there's any possibility he could be overheard. He doesn't necessarily feel like making your conversation public, even as you hum into the microphone.
"Yeah, but yours", you mumble. It sounds like you're almost proud of that. "Here's an idea, love: Get back home before I finish my shower and I'll show you just how sad I am that I couldn't watch you."
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phantomrose96 · 7 months
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Hey not to go all "tumblr is a professional networking site" on you, but how did you get to work for Microsoft??? I'm a recent grad and I'm being eviscerated out here trying to apply for industry jobs & your liveblogging about your job sounds so much less evil than Data Entry IT Job #43461
This place is basically LinkedIn to me.
I'm gonna start by saying I am so so very sorry you're a recent grad in the year 2024... Tech job market is complete ass right now and it is not just you. I started fulltime in 2018, and for 2018-2022 it was completely normal to see a yearly outflow of people hopping to new jobs and a yearly inflow of new hires. Then sometime around late-spring/early-summer of 2022 Wallstreet sneezed the word "recession" and every tech company simultaneously shit themselves.
Tons of layoffs happened, meaning you're competing not just with new grads but with thousands of experienced workers who got shafted by their company. My org squeaked by with a small amount of layoffs (3 people among ~100), but it also means we have not hired anyone new since mid-2022. And where I used to see maybe 4-8 people yearly leave in order to hop to a new job, I think I've seen 1 person do that in the whole last year and a half.
All this to say it's rough and I can't just say "send applications and believe in yourself :)".
I have done interviews though. (I'm not involved in resume screening though, just the interviews of candidates who made it past the screening phase.) So I have at least some relevant advice, as well as second-hand knowledge from other people I know who've had to hop jobs or get hired recently.
If you have friends already in industry who you feel comfortable asking, reach out to them. Most companies have a recommendation process where a current employee fills out a little form that says "yeah I'd recommend such-and-such for this job." These do seem to carry weight, since it's coming from a trusted internal person and isn't just one of the hundreds of cold-call applications they've received.
A lot of tech companies--whether for truly well-intentioned reasons or to just check a checkbox--are on the lookout for increasing employee diversity. If you happen to have anything like, for example, "member of my college Latino society", it's worth including on your resume among your technical skills and technical projects.
I would add "you're probably gonna have to send a lot of applications" as a bullet point but I'm sure you're already doing that. But here it is as a bullet point anyway.
(This is kind of a guess, since it's part of the resume screening) but if you can dedicate some time to getting at least passingly familiar with popular tech/stacks for the positions you're looking into, try doing that in your free time so you can list it on your resume. Even better if you make a project you can point to. Like if you're aiming for webdev, get familiar with React and probably NodeJS. On top of being comfortable in one of the all-purpose languages like C(++) or Java or Python.
If you get to the interview phase - a company that is good to work for WILL care that you're someone who's good to work with. A tech-genius who's a coworker-hating egotistical snob is a nuisance at best and a liability at worst for companies with even a half-decent culture. When I do interviews, "Is this someone who's a good culture fit?" is as important as the technical skills. You'll want to show you'll be a perfectly pleasant, helpful, collaborative coworker. If the company DOESN'T care about that... bullet dodged.
For the technical questions, I care more about the thought process than I do the right answer, especially for entry-level. If you show a capacity for asking good, insightful clarifying questions, an ability to break down the problem, explain your thought process, and backtrack&alter your approach upon realizing something won't work, that's all more important than just being able to spit out a memorized leetcode answer. (I kinda hate leetcode for this reason, and therefore I only ask homebrewed questions, because I don't want the technical portion to hinge at all on whether someone managed to memorize the first 47 pages of leetcode problems). For a new hire, the most important impression you can give me is that you have a technical grasp and that you're capable of learning. Because a new hire isn't going to be an expert in anything, but they're someone who's capable of learning the ropes.
That's everything I have off the top of my head. Good luck anon. I'm very sorry you were born during a specific range of years that made you a new grad in 2024 and I hope it gets better.
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headspace-hotel · 2 years
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So I'm absolutely not an expert on the subject, and this post is just a bunch of thoughts I've been turning over in my head a lot, but: on the subject of Industrial Agriculture, the Earth's carrying capacity, and agroforestry
Writings from people who propose policy changes to secure the future of Earth treat energy use by organisms in (what seems to me like) the most infuriatingly presumptive, simplistic terms and I don't know why or what's wrong or what I'm missing here.
Humans have to use some share of the solar energy that reaches Earth to continue existing.
The first problem is when writers appear to assume that our current use of solar energy via the agricultural system (we grow plants that turns the light into food.) already is maximally efficient.
The second problem is when writers see land as having one "use" that excludes all other uses, including by other organisms.
The way i see it, the thing is, we learned how to farm from natural environments. Plant communities and farms are doing the same thing, capturing energy from the Sun and creating biomass, right? The idea of farming is to make it so that as much as possible of that biomass is stuff that can be human food.
So instead of examining the most efficient crops or even the most efficient agricultural systems, I think we need to examine the most efficient natural ecosystems and how they do it.
What I'm saying is...in agricultural systems where a sunbeam can hit bare dirt instead of a leaf, that's inefficiency. In agricultural systems where the nutrients in dead plant matter are eroded away instead of building the soil, that's inefficiency. Industrial agriculture is hemorrhaging inefficiency. And it's not only that, it's that industrial agriculture causes topsoil to become degraded, which is basically gaining today's productivity by taking out a loan from the future.
I first started thinking about this with lawns: a big problem with monocultures is ultimately that they occupy a single niche.
In the wild, plant communities form layers of plants that occupy different niches in space. So in a forest you have your canopy, your understory, your forest floor with herbaceous plants, and you have mosses and epiphytes, and basically if any sunbeams aren't soaked up by the big guys in the canopy, they're likely to land on SOME leaf or other.
Monocultures like lawns are so damn hard to sustain because they're like a restaurant with one guy in it and 20 empty tables, and every table is loaded with delicious food. And right outside the restaurant is a whole crowd of hungry people.
Once the restaurant is at capacity and every table is full, people will stop coming in because there's no room. But as long as there's lots of room and lots of food, people will pour in!
So a sunny lawn has lots of food (sunlight) and lots of room (the soil and the air above the soil can fit a whole forest's worth of plant material). So nature is just bombing that space with aggressive weeds non-stop trying to fill those niches.
A monoculture corn field has a lot of the same problems. It could theoretically fit more plants, if those plants slotted into a niche that the corn didn't. Native Americans clear across the North American continent had the Three Sisters as part of their agricultural strategy—you've got corn, beans, and squash, and the squash fits the "understory" niche, and the corn provides a vertical support for the beans.
We dump so many herbicides on our monocultures. That's a symptom of inefficient use of the Sun, really. If the energy is going to plants we can't eat instead of plants we can, that's a major inefficiency.
But killing the weeds doesn't fully close up that inefficiency. It improves it, but ultimately, it's not like 100% of the energy the weeds would be using gets turned into food instead. It's just a hole, because the monoculture can't fulfill identical niches to the weeds.
The solution—the simple, brilliant solution that, to me, is starting to appear common throughout human agricultural history—is to eat the weeds too.
Dandelions are a common, aggressive weed. They're also an edible food crop.
In the USA, various species of Amaranth are our worst agricultural weeds. They were also the staple food crop that fed empires in Mesoamerica.
Purslane? Edible. Crabgrass? Edible.
A while back I noticed a correlation in the types of plants that don't form mycorrhizal associations. Pokeweed, purslane, amaranth—WEEDS. This makes perfect sense, because weeds are disaster species that pop up in disturbed soil, and disturbed soil isn't going to have much of a mycorrhizal network.
But, you know what else is non-mycorrhizal? Brassicas—ie the plant that humans bred into like 12 different vegetables including broccoli and brussels sprouts.
My hypothesis is that these guys were part of a Weed Recruitment Event wherein a common agricultural weed got domesticated into a secondary food crop. I bet the same thing happened with Amaranth. I bet—and this is my crazy theory here—I bet a lot of plants were domesticated not so much based on their use as food, but based on their willingness to grow in the agricultural fields that were being used for other crops.
So, Agroforestry.
Agroforestry has the potential for efficiency because it's closer to a more efficient and "complete" plant community.
People keep telling me, "Food forests are nowhere near as efficient as industrial agriculture, only industrial agriculture can feed the world!" and like. Sure, if you look at a forest, take stock of what things in it can be eaten, and tally up the calories as compared to a corn field (though the amount of edible stuff in a forest is way higher than you think).
But I think it's stupid to act like a Roundup-soaked corn field in Kansas amounts to the pinnacle of possible achievement in terms of agricultural productivity. It's a monoculture, it's hard to maintain and wasteful and leaves a lot of niches empty, and it's destroying the topsoil upon which we will depend for life in the future.
I think it's stupid to act like we can guess at what the most efficient possible food-producing system is. The people that came before us didn't spend thousands of years bioengineering near-inedible plants into staple food crops via just waiting for mutations to show up so that we, possessing actual ability to alter genes in a targeted way, could invent some kind of bullshit number for the carrying capacity of Earth based on the productive capability of a monoculture corn field
Like, do you ever think about how insane domestication is? it's like if Shakespeare's plays were written by generation after generation of people who gave a bunch of monkeys typewriters and spent every day of their lives combing through the output for something worth keeping.
"How do we feed the human race" is a PAINFULLY solvable problem. The real issue is greed, politics, and capitalism...
...lucky for us, plants don't know what those things are.
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starberry-cupcake · 5 months
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I'm back! Thank you so much for your patience and your kind messages and comments ♥ you are so nice about my silly ramblings, I appreciate it a lot.
previously, on harrowsoup the ninth:
this happened
also I posted this and this as previews and this is the whole tag
currently, chapters 23-26:
"an atmosphere of greater unease had settled over the mithraeum"
aka the emperor's bolthole
btw, no kidding, harrow, I hadn't noticed the unease
so, harrow asks around about the herald situation
I have another deck with dragon heralds but I'm not gonna go on a card tangent this time (you're welcome)
everyone gives terrible and useless descriptions
emperor johnny boy says "Whenever they come I am bundled off to a sealed sanctum at the heart of the Mitrhaeum, so that their insanity can't touch me"
asshole coward awful man
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harrobean is trying to ask why emperor asshat is so sure about her having to die and if there's no way she can make it
emperor johnny says yandere twin isn't that good at being a lyctor yet, even if she's surprising and that if he was still giving silly names, he'd name her "Saint of Awe"
harrow thinks "that had not quite suited Naberius"
get perpetually owned, chad
harrow also mentions not being able to remember things well
YOU THINK, HARROW?
"it was as though your brain had formed a scab over everything that had happened to you"
I don't think that scab is healing well
emperor johnny insists on the rapier
idk why they all insist on the rapier
gideon and camilla didn't like it and were the fucking best cavaliers ever
ARE, THEY ARE THE BEST CAVALIERS EVER
PRESENT TENSE
but anyway, at this point, it could very well be emperor johnbro has aesthetic demands
not like he'll explain anything
harrowbean sees not!dulcinea's door closed, which isn't usual
she second guesses a bit because she can't always trust what she sees and she remembers crux saying "you saw what you saw, Lady, and the only thing you control now is your reaction thereto"
I didn't like that old man, but that's pretty cool of him to say
harrow opens the door and sees this
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alleged gideon the first aka ortus tells harrow to go away very calmly and in a way that is too nice for him, apparently
harrow is upset at the display in front of her salad and goes to complain to yandere twin
which is a terrible place to complain at because she's both into gossip and into kink
if you want someone to take this seriously, that's the last place to go to
"at least you know who's been moving her—so to speak"
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this is what we get combining yandere twin and chad
I've used that gif twice for her already
I forgive her, though, because she says "god is a dickhead" and she's right
she also asks harrow to try to remember why emperor john god has given her the sword
and establishes that harrow previously did something to her jaw so that she couldn't tell her
that's going in the 3d model
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CHAPTER 24
apparently people are being less mean to harrowbean because they're already mourning her
harrow says that alleged gideon the first aka ortus has the name ortus because "it was just a banal and uncomfortable coincidence, as though he'd carried the name of a dead childhood pet"
she believes that the name must have caught on in the ninth because anastasia must have like brought it in and named people after her pal
I think he's named gideon
and that our gideon is named after him because of direct relationship of some capacity, maybe to someone involved
I considered the mom, but it's uncertain
in any case, he has to die
so, harrow puts a lot of wards and safety things in her room
kind of like this
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home alone styling it
but apparently alleged gideon the first aka ortus can bypass wards
much like the sleeper/waker
much like not!dulcinea
wards are basically pointless, I guess, at this point
so he goes into her bathroom when she's bathing because here in the emperor's bolthole, everyone's a disrespectful asshole
harrowbean says he's "a thanergy void" and "the ultimate nemesis of a bone adept"
he tries to kill her while she's looking like this
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I want to give this child some cocoa and play a comfort movie for her, like "the bone collector"
she ended up using the teeth she lost in the fight as projectiles in his eyes and got him to leave
she ended up bloody, unmoving, wet, naked and collapsed on the ground to which yandere twin live reacted to and left
she could have given her a hand
or an arm
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she decided alleged gideon had to die and ice cube barbie aka probably annabel lee agreed
when gideon was among us, there was not enough time for her to throw hands at people and here there's so many people she could be throwing hands at and she's not here to do so
camilla too, but camilla threw hands at martita in a way that was legendary enough
CHAPTER 25
harrow goes with the chisme to dr reverend professor emperor john
she says "I swear by the Locked Tomb"
to which he replies "I wouldn't swear by that in this instance"
which I sure hope doesn't mean anything nasty with my girl ice cube barbie annabel lee because I'm gonna kill this man
she might not be entirely alive (maybe she is, maybe she's just suspended or something) but she deserves better than this piece of work
then he says "well, that's unfortunate"
this man really knows how to handle a situation, huh
emperor john says that it's pretty unlikely that alleged gideon the first aka ortus was doing the dirty with not!dulcinea because he never showed interest before and is "legendarily unamorous"
that's another tshirt I need
I need that one and the witch one immediately
also, now we've got a problem
not just because my telenovela about how this man might or might not be related to our gideon got more convoluted
but also because if alleged gideon is aroace, I'm gonna have to stan
I don't make the rules over here, I have to stand by my people
I have a conflict of interest now
emperor john also says "you must think us all a depraved set of immortal criminals"
I mean yes, I do, but not because of sexy times with zombies
I'm not here to judge the sexytimes of necromancers and whatever they do in their spare time
I don't know the intricacies of consent with ghosts or whatever, I can't be imparting judgment
it's not that, emperor john
it's because you're unpleasant war criminals who are killing planets for fun
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well, the war criminal part I don't have hard evidence on rn but the situation doesn't seem to be in the favor of these people
I feel like when this man talks about the overall situation I'm getting a speech from emperor palpatine
emperor reverend john asks harrow, who has been awake for 25 years, to go to sleep
yeah, sure, she should go to sleep and wait for this guy to come by and try to kill her for the millionth time
meanwhile, harrowbean keeps collecting hours without sleep like
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she makes, at the request of emperor camp counselor john, soup for everyone
I don't remember if it was here or before and I forgot but, this is extremely important
they mentioned cassiopeia being the one who cooked before
cassiopeia the same one with the ceramics collection, if I'm remembering correctly
cassiopeia who was also from the sixth, I think
camilla's house
she's checking every single one of my boxes like a sniper
why isn't she here, we're stuck with the grumpy one and the senior chad
ANYWAY, at the mention of harrow cooking I thought, immediately, "that's an awesome way to kill this guy"
I was picturing more like a poison type situation, although I didn't know how that could be achieved
something like this
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but I should have known poison was too subtle for harrowcita
like I established back when protozoa's head was found in her closet, subtle isn't harrow's style
so it was more like this
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basically, harrow sectioned her tibia to put some in the soup and then she could necrobend it so that it attacked from the inside
if I'm getting it right
insane plan and I love it
emperor john shadyman says "ten thousand years since I've eaten human being, Harrow, and I didn't really want an encore."
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were they snacking on people during the Resurrection???
did they kill people by making lunch?????
???????????????????????????????????????????
"you think we're bad because we have sexy times with ghoulies?? uwu" that's the least of my concerns johnny john man
harrow then breaks down and asks straight to his face WHY THE FUCK MUST SHE SUFFER LIKE THIS
she calls herself a nonsense
the only nonsense here is what this emperor man speaks
she tells him she hasn't slept in six days
for a sleep deprived plan, it was excellent tbh
emperor man over here asks yandere twin to take her to sleep
and then stays with mercygirl to whom he says it's insane that harrow could do what she did and how did mercygirl miss that
this is the situation, as I have previously established
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augustine looks at harrow "as if he had seen the ghost of someone he did not particularly like"
alleged gideon the first aka ortus salutes her on her way out
he doesn't even have heartburn
CHAPTER 26
we're back on gideon-less canaan house because it's time for more people to die
in ways that make 0 sense at all for what we know so far
regina george twin is pushed to her death by mayonnaise uncle
sounds fake to me
like, come on
regina george twin can probably murder that feeble guy on sight
we saw her spar with gideon, she wanted to be the cav that chad ended up being
she might not be a necro but she can stand her ground in a physical fight
mayonnaise uncle without duracell bunny nephew is like a sweaty guy on an anime con complaining about girls ruining everything while buying a maid figurine
she can take him
anyway, he does that and he says to her "and somewhere out there, may all the blood of your blood suffer even a fraction of what I have suffered"
now, this is weird
is he talking about yandere twin?
he wants revenge because yandere twin obliterated him?
is yandere twin "out there"?
I'd say this might be limbo BUT CAMILLA ISN'T DEAD
harrow is going to him and he says "she has not remembered her end" "is this how it happens then?"
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and then he yeeted himself into space
that's what I wanted to do with not!dulcinea all along
so, yeah, well, this canaan business is getting more complicated now that it's not just people being shot
people are throwing themselves and others into space
and the memories of harrow in the emperor's bolthole aren't completely lining up with these
and mayonnaise uncle seemed to have been more aware of things than others around here?? or maybe just more forthcoming??? in that cryptic otaku way of his
also, no camilla at all still
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Things are heating up in the emperor's bolthole, hope to come back soon with another one and thanks for the patience, hope it was worth it.
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thejournallo · 8 months
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Explain the basic: Energy manipulation
Disclaimer: in this chapter you are going to learn the physical and spiritual meaning of energy! Everything I will talk about is information that I got from books and sites online and even videos on YouTube. In my years of practice, I learned as much as I could out of curiosity and what works best for me. I suggest you do the same by learning as much as you can on your own (I will be here making posts teaching this kind of stuff) from multiple sources.
tags: @koda-manifesting
As always, I will love to hear your thoughts! and if you have any questions, I will be more than happy to answer them! If you liked it, leave a comment or reblog (that is always appreciated!). if you are intrested in more method check the masterlist!
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When it comes to energy manipulation, we have to remember the 12 laws of the universe!  According to these laws, we are all connected; everyone vibrates at different rates, and energy is always changing! We can use the knowledge that those laws gave us to manipulate the energy that is around us in different aspects. Before we start to talk about what energy manipulation is, let's learn what energy is, even in a more scientific aspect.
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witchcraft: 
"Energy" is often referred to as the life force or spiritual power that flows through all living things and the universe itself. People who practice witchcraft often work with this energy to bring about desired changes in their lives or the world around them. This energy is believed to be manipulable through various practices such as rituals, spells, meditation, and visualization.of course Different traditions and practitioners may have their own specific beliefs and terminology surrounding energy, but it is generally understood to be a fundamental aspect of the spiritual and metaphysical realms of witchcraft.
manipulating energy: 
More often than not, we manipulate this energy, which can happen on a daily basis without our knowledge. In a more visual explanation, we are surrounded by a bubble. Bubble = spiritual energy. When we go out and do our daily things and have our daily experiences, we give some piece of bubble. Energy manipulation is understood if we are using our bubble, understood when we have to use it and use it to our own advantage. for example, "If I feel this kind of bad feeling from a person, I will use a piece of my bubble to protect myself." I used my spiritual energy to protect myself from negativity.
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science:
Energy is defined as the capacity to do work or produce heat. It exists in various forms such as kinetic energy (the energy of motion), potential energy (stored energy), thermal energy (the energy associated with temperature), chemical energy (energy stored in the bonds of chemical compounds), electromagnetic energy (energy carried by light and other electromagnetic waves), and many others.
The law of conservation of energy states that energy cannot be created or destroyed; it can only be transformed from one form to another. This means that the total energy within a closed system remains constant over time, even as it may change from one form to another.
Energy plays a fundamental role in all physical processes and is a central concept in fields such as physics, chemistry, and engineering. It's a crucial aspect of understanding the behavior of matter and the interactions between different systems in the universe.
Why am I talking about physical energy?
because we can use physical energy to practice witchcraft. Let me give you another visual example.  We are going on a walk to feel relaxed and release some tense energy. We are using kinetic energy to protect our peace.  It is all in the intention and the mindset when you use this kind of physical manipulation; even lighting a candle before a spell means using thermal energy to protect the space. (I'm saying protection as an example.) You can do pretty much anything; a walk can equal aboundance if that's what you want.
NSFW TALK AHEAD (MINOR DO NOT INTERACT)
It is a bit uncomfortable for me to talk about this, but it has to be said. Carnal acts like sex or masturbation can also be used to manipulate energy, and it is a whole practice in itself called red magic, where you use the build-up energy of the orgasm and the peak release to put your intention in the world. The tricky part is to actually concentrate on your intention until you release it. 
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redroomreflections · 3 months
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Our Little Family - The Loud House Drabble
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Natasha Romanoff x fem!reader
Summary: a direct response to Thread of A Promise. Natasha and R reflect on how far they've come a few years into the future.
The Loud House can be read on a03
note: a friend requested this so y'all can thank them for that.
tw: mention of child loss
Sometimes, you try not to think about it too much. You try to push that morning to the back of your mind. It's been years—three to be exact. You’d woken up to your worst nightmare and the deepest heartache you’d ever experienced. These days, it's a bit easier to bear.
With the loss of your child, you gained clarity. You knew what was important, who was important. You poured all your energy into volunteering, spending more time working with children in any capacity you could. You and Natasha became foster parents. Children have come and gone from your home, and you’ve loved and cared for them all the same.
Now, you have Cara. She’s the light of your life and the sassiest little preteen you could have ever asked for. Her adoption went through just a few months ago when you got another call for respite care. With Willow back in Atlanta, the sound and pitter-patter of little feet is missed. Of course, you jumped at the chance.
James and Charlotte are like breaths of fresh air. They fit right in. Charlotte is three and spunky. James at barely fifteen months old is still developing his little personality. 
 Mostly, he enjoys clinging to you and Natasha. He still has so much time to explore the world. Getting the kids into a routine is a feat. It's only been a few weeks since they've been home and their future is uncertain. Which causes a touch of anxiety for the ever-perceptive Charlotte.
Tonight, she'd thrown her first epic temper tantrum, kicking and screaming for what seemed to be no reason at all. Of course, you could probably pinpoint a few things. You'd had a work meeting that ran over a little too long. Natasha was stuck in traffic after training and therefore came home a little late after dinner.
You tried your best. You read her a bedtime story and gave her a little more warm milk. Still, she threw the bottle across the room. That in turn startled James who had been feeling a bit insecure on his own. Natasha had stepped in to see the tail end of things. She didn't ask questions. She rolled up her sleeves and got down to business. She carried Charlie into the bathroom to get started on a bath. Charlie mostly clung to Natasha as she watched the bubbles form in the water.
Meanwhile, you got James undressed too hoping that a bit of skin-to-skin would calm him down. He was all red-faced and teary-eyed as you walked toward the bathroom. Your frustration dwindled when you saw Natasha and Charlie standing beside the tub, both dipping their hands in and trying out the bubbles. Charlie still had a few tears streaming down her face along with hiccups but even she couldn't help but laugh at Natasha's antics.
She blew a few bubbles, then tried to pop a few of them, and she had a look of pure concentration on her face. It's so adorable, you can't help but watch.
"Can you tell me why you were sad, Charlie?" Natasha asked as she stood next to the little girl.
"Um, I wanted you," Charlie stuttered."I wanted you to come home." She swiped a hand across her cheeks. "To be with me."
Natasha nodded, then looked to you."Why didn't you use your words and tell Momm-y/n?" Natasha corrects herself. It's habit she's so used to talking to Cara. She doesn't want to force it on Charlie. The little girl could use whatever title she saw appropriate. "We've been practicing."
Charlie shrugged."'Cause...I don't know."
"Because you were afraid or sad?"
Charlie's bottom lip jutted out and she nodded."Yeah."
"I'm here now. And y/n did her very best," Natasha said softly, her eyes flickering to yours for a moment. You're standing with James tucked against your chest. "I'm sorry you were feeling bad. I know how you like our routine just as it is."
"And baby brother was crying too and it was so loud," Charlie pointed out. Even though she was partly to blame for his crying. You would never tell her that.
"He gets upset when his schedule is thrown off," You said."We should've made sure to keep it together. We'll do better next time, right Nat?"
"Yes, we will," Natasha promised. She helped Charlie step into the bathtub. Meanwhile, James refused to be put down. He whimpered when you tried to set him onto his feet.
"Okay, okay," You sighed."I guess you're staying with me, little man." You bounced him on your hip and pressed a kiss to his temple. He settled after that. You watched Natasha bathe Charlie. Eventually, he calmed enough for you to include him in the bedtime ritual. Tonight though you knew the kids needed a little more loving.
With them all dressed and moisturized, you turned on their favorite lullaby music. The nursery housed the crib and Charlie's bed. After a lot of trial and error, you realized they slept better being in the same room. Charlie was protective of her brother and often wanted to be with him. This was the compromise. Eventually, during this little routine, you and Natasha switched children. The heavier weight of Charlie was comforting as she rested her head on your shoulders. She sucked her thumb into her mouth, her eyes fluttering closed only briefly as she fought her sleep. Natasha was having a good time beside you as she rubbed James' bare body soothingly. He's barely fifteen months and still so tiny and cuddly. This moment felt like heaven.
"Mmm," James babbled to himself. Just like his sister, he was fighting his sleep.
"It's funny how life turned out isn't it?" Natasha spoke softly.
"Hmm?" You questioned as you moved your gaze from Charlie's sleeping form to Natasha's loving gaze.
"I was just thinking," She breathed. "About him," Natasha said and you instantly knew what she was talking about.
"I think about him sometimes too," You avoided her gaze. Your unborn baby was always on your mind. It's funny that even after all this time you both were insistent on being a boy. You'd lost him before you could ever find out.
"I think about how I was scared out of my mind."
You frowned and looked at her. "Of what?"
"I was terrified to become a mother," Natasha confessed."I was terrified I wouldn't be a good mother."
"Well, I can say for sure that I was right," You smiled. "You are one badass boy Mama."
Natasha chuckled and shook her head."Thank you. But you were so confident and ready."
"Not really," You disagreed. "I was scared too."
"But you were so excited and open to the idea." Natasha began. "I was too but I don't know. I knew would have this. What we have here."
"Our own little James," You dared to say. He's not even yours yet. Not truly. He still belongs to the state. Both of them do. But you hope and pray that they get to stay.
"Is it hard for you? The fact that he has the same name?"
"At first it was..." You trailed off. "I was afraid of the memories and the pain but now...now it's the sweetest memory."
"That's how I feel," Natasha agreed.
"I don't want to let my thoughts slip and believe in reincarnation or something freaky," You shake your head. "The ages kind of align."
"I've noticed," Natasha hummed. She planted a sweet kiss atop James's head. He gave her a soft coo in return.
"I don't want to treat him as if he is ours in that way," You shook your head. "As if he's just here to fill some void and that he has the same name. It's just... have you ever felt like you're right where you're supposed to be."
"More than you know," Natasha's lips spread into a smile."I never thought I would have any of this. Now I do and it feels amazing."
"I never thought I'd love someone the way I love you."
"And I love you more than anything in this world," Natasha promised."You have the biggest and the most beautiful heart. I love the family we have created."
"Me too," You sighed happily.
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yan-lorkai · 6 days
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"Hello Lorkai! I've got an idea for a headcanon and would like to request it!
Yan!Idia (maybe with platonic Yan!Ortho too if you like) with an extroverted male reader who somehow gets placed in Ignihyde Dorm by the dark mirror (students from other dorms like to joking about the dark mirror putting him in the wrong dorm or something). The reader kinda becomes the mom friend of the dorm, always helping and taking care of everyone, assisting Idia with his Housewarden's work, you know, like the friend who orders food for their shy friends. Thank you very much <3
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.⁠。⁠*⁠♡ A/N: Uh... I've might misread the fact that you wanted headcanons. And so I did hcs and a few little drabble 🥺.
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.⁠。⁠*⁠♡ You are Ignyhide's mom figure, fixing everyone's hair and shirt. Everyone know that whoever is sorted into this dorm is somewhat of an introvert or ambivert. You, though, is an extrovert. You can talk freely, you know how to make friends and enjoy helping others around the campus. Yet, the others don't have this same capacity. And they need someone to take care of them, whence the title of mom, which was just a joke but slowly spread thought Ignyhide completely.
.⁠。⁠*⁠♡ Idia was the most difficult person for you to get closer. He just seems to push away anyone that tried without even realizing but you persisted till you make friends with his brother and him. Taking care of Idia though... Sure, it's difficult sometimes.
"Let's go, Idiiiiiiia!” You tried to pull the antisocial Ignyhide dorm leader out of his bed, wanting to take him outside to sunbathe and eat in the canteen. You've been trying for a while now. Sometimes Idia was a lot like a younger brother to you. Stubborn, obstinate. His hair burning bright in a frightful color as you pulled him and he pushed you.
"Do you hate me, Yuu-shi? I didn't do anything wrong." Idia threw himself to the ground, a scream of pure terror escaping his throat as he struggled against you.
"Listen, either you walk out that door of your own free will or I'm going to throw you over my shoulders and we're going to leave the same way." You threatened him. You had tried every tactic you had on your sleeve today and still none of them were working. Regardless, he felt light enough for you to carry around.
"Yuu-shi wouldn't dare." Idia murmured back, he tried to sound confident and sure of what he is saying.
Yet he didn't stop you from pulling him to his feet this time, even though his legs were visibly tense and he had an annoying expression on his face. Idia knew that you meant what you said. And he wouldn't survive a day if someone saw you carrying him around. His shame would be too big to bear. He would be dead by the end of the night if that was to happen.
He gave you the best puppy dog eyes he could muster, but it was of little use. You opened the door for him and offered him a soft smile, trying to ease all the fear and anxiety he felt. Still, you had good intentions when trying to bring him out of his shell. There was tons of people you want him to meet, tons of things you wanted to do with him, outside from his room where you usually spent your free time. Without talking with him through a floating tablet.
You were working to make him realize that it was not healthy to stay cupped inside of his room all day. It was a slow process but in a few months, you know he'll be fine making phone calls and sending emails.
"C'mon, dude. We don't have all day." You teased him a little, watching him fumbling. He squeaked, hands founding yours to hold, to ground him, cold finger lacing with yours.
Idia didn't like this idea at all. There was so much that he could do at his room. Gaming, bing watching something, reading, studying. So why he have to abandon the comfort of his room?
He wanted to ask your intentions. But you are a mischievous guy, always so secretive, only the sevens may know what passed through your mind this week. Either way, Idia doubt that you would tell him where you're going or why. Sighed, he followed you outside.
.⁠。⁠*⁠♡ No matter how difficult he was, Idia was still your best friend. Your brother, if you will. Nobody could see one without the other nearby, even if most of the time it was just you and his floating tablet. It was a sweet friendship, most thought. And Idia deserved it. As did Ortho, the young robot was so funny to have around and he was as curious as a child, always asking you questions, even if he could have his answers with a snap of his fingers.
.⁠。⁠*⁠♡ While you make friends with Idia because you noticed how lonely he was, Ortho just latched onto you when he realized what you were trying to do, helping you in your mission to be Idia's friend. He was like a younger sibling, following you around, sometimes messing with your homework or phone for fun. He was mischievous. And you could never get angry at him because of his very cute puppy eyes. Often times, though, he includes you on his pranks.
"How things going, Yuu-shi?" Idia asked, voice tired and dark circles under his eyes as he stared at his computer. He knew it was you just by the sounds of your footsteps on the carpet.
Ortho programs are special, designed by Idia himself. They are not supposed to malfunction but sometimes errors happen and this is one of those times. Idia told you he would pull an all nighter so he could fix his brother and you, like the good friend you are, scold him for losing sleep. Yet, you brought with you some snacks and soft drinks, and you got to work with him.
The panel located on Ortho's chest glowed red, emitting a high-pitched sound that broke any and all silence that might exist, in addition to Idia's heavy breathing. You knew how to fix Ortho, you'd seen him do it a thousand times.
"I don't think that it's a systemic error, pass me the screwdriver so I can see something, Idia." Idia mumbled something, drinking one of your drinks as he lent you a screwdriver so you could taste your theory before turning back to his computer and start typing something again, running another bunch of tests.
"Be careful!" He advised. You huffed, of course, you were going to be careful.
You slowly began to unscrew the nails holding the panel in place, carefully placing it on the bed next to you. You observed all those wires and pieces, the fire on his chest burning even brighter now, you tried to remember for what which wire was for. Ignyhide was after all known to raise students to be the best in mechanics.
"Actually everything's normal," You murmured to Idia, there was nothing wrong with Ortho that you could see. Red light still emanating from somewhere below his artificial heart. "C'mere and help me, Idiaaa."
The older Shroud laughed at your tone but he complied, crouching down by your side. "Let's see..." Just as Idia reached out to inspect Ortho’s chest panel, the younger Shroud's eyes suddenly lit up, glowing a vivid yellow.
His previously limp body jerked upright and his voice, eerily robotic, boomed through the room: "Error 375, host unable to respond, initiating reboot sequence."
Idia yelped and practically jumped out of his skin, scrambling backward in a flurry of blue flames, his ears hurting from loud Ortho's announcement was. "W-what, error 375, what even is that? Ortho? What did you do?" He stammered, looking between you and Ortho in sheer disbelief, lost.
Then, just as suddenly, Ortho broke into his usual chipper grin. "Just kidding, Nii-san!" The younger Shroud chirped, a playful glint in his eyes. "Got you!"
Idia’s expression was a mix of shock and exasperation, his face and hair bright red from embarrassment. "You little—!"
Ortho giggled innocently, while you couldn’t help but burst into laughter. The prank had been a success.
.⁠。⁠*⁠♡ Aside from moments like that, you also help them with simple things, helping Idia with his dorm leader's duties in general, and playing with Ortho, helping them with laundry and making breakfast. And when you three go out to buy things or something, you always team up with Ortho to tease Idia. It's funny.
.⁠。⁠*⁠♡ You and Ortho incentives Idia to be more sociable, though that's still not possible so often you three just spend time on the gardens or somewhere more secluded. At least, Idia can leave his room if you and his brother are by his side the entire time. He still have a long way to go to overcome his shyness but you're proud of him and you let him know at every opportunity.
.⁠。⁠*⁠♡ It's common for you for you to order for you and Idia but if you're tired or unwell, Idia will crawl from his shell and stutter out your favorite order. It's the only time he'll try for real to overcome his fear of talking to other people.
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Ladybug Vs Avatar's use of the supporting cast and the problem thereof.
I'm not sure if this has been covered before, but there's a serious problem with Marinette being the be-all end-all of everything in Miaculous.
And it's not just because "she's stressed" or "it's all on her". Her being the most important, talented and plot-relevant character in every situation is.
Let's make a comparison to the Gold Standard:
In Avatar the Last Airbender, Aang is the axis of the story. He holds incredible powers beyond anyone else, can bend every element and could conceivably end the entire conflict that plagues his world with relative ease- which he eventually does.
However, for 99% of the story he cannot do so. Because Aang is untrained, he cannot access that divine win-button of the Avatar State at will, and using it carried enormous risks to himself and those around him- making it functionally unusable for common conflicts. Furthermore while he does technically have the capacity to use all four elements, he had only mastered one and needed to learn the remaining three.
Indeed, Aang has outright difficulty with learning Earthbending despite his innate talents and while he's a quick study for the other two, he doesn't demonstrate the same effectiveness with water and fire as Katara and Zuko.
This means that Aang cannot do certain things as well as the others in his team. This means that for the majority of the story, even though his first and preferred element provides him with useful abilities" Aang has weaknesses that he needs others to cover and provide for.
Enter Katara, Sokka, Toph and Zuko.
Katara is a waterbender who teaches Aang and later advances her powers to include the all-important power of healing and the disturbingly effective (though situational) Bloodbending.
Toph is an earthbender who is also one of Aang's teachers, and whose tremor sense later allows her to both detect liars and invent Metalbending.
Sokka is seemingly just the comic relief normie. However his technical mindset allows him to serve as the general of the group, and even plan and lead in that role for entire armies later in the show.
Even Zuko who joins later and becomes less a teacher but a fellow student alongside Aaang in firebending is a skilled infiltrator and melee weapon expert. (This is less of a case than the others since it's not used as much, but it's more of a concrete example than his insights into the fire nation and his potential utility as a replacement Fire Lord).
They each provide far more than those short summaries, but it's important to note that in each case, even when Aang does learn the elements and starts growing into his role as the Avatar: he never gains the full range of abilities that his team offers. He never assumes the fully strategic mindset of Sokka, and even though it's downright implausible that no Avatar before him never learnt healing, he never demonstrates that ability or any Metalbending prowess even in the Avatar state.
There's also the enemy trio of Azula, Ty Lee and Mai. Azula is a powerful firebending genius, but Mai's prowess with her throwing weapons are a close match- and Ty Lee's chi-blocking can outright cripple enemy benders for any given fight when combined with her insane agility: something that not even Azula can do with her firebending. They are an incredibly dangerous combination and when Azula loses them, she becomes far less effective for their absence.
In both teams despite the leader being a powerful, talented bender who is objectively the strongest person on their respective side: there's no doubt about each member of the team contributing something that said leader cannot.
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Now let's look at Miraculous:
Marinette is the "Greatest Ladybug" of all time despite being fourteen, only having had the earrings for less than a year, and having a list of predecessors that go back literally thousands of years and include Joan of Arc.
She is also the Guardian of the Miracle Box. Specifically she is the Guardian of The Mother Box that is the most important of all the boxes, despite there being at least a full Temple's worth of actually trained candidates somewhere in Tibet who should be far and above more capable than her or her mentor Fu. However, her supposed superior Su-Han seems entirely convinced that she's already surpassed any teachings his order has by how often she breaks said teachings in his face only for him to roll over like a dog. There's not been a single time when Marinette has been confronted by some shortcoming in her responsibilities as a Guardian where she has had to learn anything from the multi-millennia old Order of Guardians.
Marinette has also worn almost every single Miraculous in her Box at the same time, a feat that supposedly risked serious harm to her but merely made her woozy for an afternoon (if that). As of the season five Finale, she has also unified her earrings with her partner's ring: a scenario that in earlier seasons seemed to imply great risk: yet she was able to use the powers flawlessly.
As Ladybug, she is also the lone hero who has unlocked any new advanced powers with her Miraculous (unless you also include the arbitrary "adulthood" that she and Chat Noir achieved that allows them multiple uses of their Miraculous before detransforming), and on the occasions when she's used anyone else's powers has shown no sign of being any less capable than they are with them.
Ladybug does everything as well if not better than everyone else.
Marinette can not only unify with any Miraculous she needs for a given mission, she can use the powers as effectively as their "dedicated holder" can and without any restrictions. Unlike the majority of the cast who are still under the child-power limit. She can even unify with multiple miraculous at the same time without any drawbacks.
And without those drawbacks, without anyone on the cast being able to use the power of their Miraculous more effectively than Marinette: everyone else on the team is more or less superfluous.
Sure, Marinette has tossed out the Miraculous to her team like candy now. But when you get down to it: the real lesson that she should have learnt from Strikeback to just put some damn security on her Yo-yo/The Box. Because this just means that she has to wait for the hero in question to show up when she could have just pulled off whatever plan she has in mind herself.
And that superfluous label includes Chat Noir.
As frustrating as it is to come to the this conclusion: as of right now, there's no real reason for Adrien Agreste to be anything but a temporary holder. Certainly you can point to his experience with Plagg's power, and a few examples that seem to imply he can do more with it (in his second outing he was able to reconstruct part of the Eiffel Tower into a makeshift extension to catch someone from). Things that imply that if he perhaps received any actual training in the show like Marinette did from Fu, any guidance whatsoever from the Order or their Grimoire he might be able to achieve more.
But there's no solid evidence to expect that Marinette wouldn't be as effective, and the narrative precedent does not lend itself to the idea that anyone could overshadow Ladybug as a holder even of their own Miraculous. If anything, the sheer ability Marinette showed as Bug Noire implies that her having a partner instead of just keeping the ring herself is a detriment to any given situation.
If you can justify exposing the ring to potential capture in the first place considering that there seems to be no requirement to do. By all rights the practical thing to do is just keeping Plagg in the box instead of risking reality.
Of course we wanted to be generous, Adrien could still be of some use. He's the resident meatshield and narrative jobber. So long as he has a Miraculous he could continue faithfully serving in those roles, eating up mind-control beams and taking hits for Bug Noire so she can save the day as usual.
But everyone else on the Miraculous team might as well turn in their furry super-suits and go home.
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You couldn't get a more black and white depiction of the value of others outside of the protagonist. in Avatar, Aang is literally a semi-divine being who still needs to be humble and learn while the others around him still have useful special talents and prowess that he can't simply attain at will.
While in Miraculous, there's only one person of actual true competence. From Paris to Shanghai, Marinette alone is the capable one- barring the odd episode in the limelight (Alya and Felix stand up and take a bow. Adrien can stay seated).
There is a word for a character that is impossibly more capable than any other in spite of all reason and logic. And Marinette is increasingly fitting that mold as the show goes on. There's also a term for characters that ultimately contribute nothing good or bad to a story; wasted space. You can't have an entire ensemble of characters as part of the cast and have them provide nothing if they're supposed to have even a smidge of narrative value without making them something the story would be better off without.
Just as you can't just have one person at the centre of everything, make them capable of everything and not eventually have the story they're in turn into (at best) a power fantasy.
And it's a shame. Because Miraculous seemed like it could have been a lot more.
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