#i'm not tagging all of them individually this time sorry babes

[aurinn-n]

AAJJWNHJANJHNAJNWJHNDNHWJNH <3 <3 <3

Malisa, Elize, Catrina, Lum, Jace, Pati, Shado, Galven, and Rue (C) @aurinn-n

[haesunflower]

xdinary heroes reaction to receiving flowers

genre: fluff

pairing: reader (mostly gn) x all members

about/tags: xdh reacts to you buying or giving them flowers

established relationship, bullet point reactions, lowercase is intentional, this is my first work for xdinary heroes, afab for gunil's, i had to google what each flower represented, sorry for inaccuracies, dedicated to requester @snowflakemoon3

⠀⠀ gunil ⠀⠀

gunil is a whiner

so one day when he complains that "don't you think it's kinda misandrist that only women get flowers most of the time"

you think that's a direct jab at you because he does in fact, get you flowers all the time

on your next date you order sunflowers for him

it arrives via delivery and when he opens the door, he kinda smirks

"finally, i'm being appreciated around here" (jokingly)

he places the flowers in the vase you usually use

later on you find out he saved the petals of the sunflower in a ziploc bag

you teach him how to press and dry flowers for preservation

when he sees your collection of dried flowers from all those times he gifted you, he's so touched

looks at you like you're his whole world as you continue to demonstrate how to do it

⠀⠀ jungsu ⠀⠀

jungsu talks about getting plants for his room all the time but never actually does

so you bought him a pretty orchid to place on his windowsill

he loves it and takes care of it really well

he once read that plants have feelings

so he spoke to the orchid every night, pretending like the both of you were its parents

one day you caught him singing to it

"since when did you start giving private concerts to the plant, jungsu?"

"shut up. water your child, it's dying"

and you're just like??? but you do it anyways

taking care of orchids together become your shared hobby

years down the line, jungsu makes sure the flowers at your wedding are orchids

⠀⠀ gaon ⠀⠀

you were on a picnic date at a meadow

gaon made all this effort to set the date up, even making (which you start to suspect that he actually just bought) all the food you were currently eating

you felt kinda bad, as you didn't prepare anything (well to be fair this date was a surprise)

so while he was setting up the picnic basket earlier, you took the liberty to venture

you found a small wildflower bed full of marigolds and daises

you gathered the brightest and prettiest ones, the ones that best resemble gaon

so when you tell him "close your eyes I have a surprise for you"

and he opens them he's genuinely surprised that it's flowers

his heart goes like awwwww

but ngl he thought you were gonna plant a kiss on his lips

"I can do that as well, jiseok"

he got the kisses and the flowers, it's a happy day for him

⠀⠀ o.de ⠀⠀

"are those flowers?"

he stares at the meal your prepared him, edible flowers prettily arranged on top

you spent the whole day cooking for your date and bought edible flowers to decorate the salads

he's in awe because he's never tried it before

neither have you, so you're hoping it tastes okay

when you both sit down and take your first bites

seungmin says "babe is it me or it just tastes like plants"

"i sure hope so, because it is indeed, a plant"

"right".

you both just sorta stare at each other then laugh

he reaches for your hand across the table to bring it to his lips

"thank you for the meal babe, i love it"

he kisses your hand with such sincerity you want to cry

⠀⠀ junhan ⠀⠀

there was an old lady selling the last of her roses for the day by your university

they weren't anything particularly special, but they were individually wrapped so prettily you couldn't resist

she told you they'd wilt soon, so she's giving them at half the price to students

you decided to buy a red rose to give to junhan

as you stopped by his dorms, you found him strumming on his guitar

you jokingly threw the flower at him and said "bravo, encore encore!"

he picks up the flower and puts it in between his lips and bows, going along with the bit

you both laugh at each others' antics

junhan is goofier since you came along

⠀⠀ jooyeon ⠀⠀

jooyeon has received flowers from someone he personally knew in his life exactly 3 times

when he graduated high school, his debut showcase, and his first concert (all came from his parents btw)

so when you visit him in the inkigayo green room with a bouquet of brightly colored carnations he doesn't even think that those are for him

"huh, who gave those to you?"

"it's for you, jooyeon...."

and he's all confused like "what, why?"

and you're also confused as to why he's confused like? "congrats on your comeback and new mini-album?"

jooyeon takes the bouquet and smiles at the message you wrote

"to my favorite rockstar, jooyeon"

every time he made a comeback or released a new single, you would send him different flowers

in return, he places a kiss on your forehead

A/N: when i got this request i knew i just had to use the gaon flower pictures!!

btw to those that don't know, i take requests for other groups including nct, svt, xdh and of course zb1

૮ ˶�� ᵕ ᵔ˶ ა

✎ mobile masterlist

✉︎ request

[pharawee]

Hi Jane! Thank you for answering my question :D Unfortunately, I now have MORE questions and as the one cursed with the knowledge of this omegaverse, you're the only one I can ask *nervous laughter* sorry

Do they explain the levels of Charlie's absorption powers and how they work in the novel? We know that he absorbs powers through touch and is able to siphon more the closer his is to someone. And you said in the tags that he somehow changed Babe's DNA (that's crazy btw???). Can he change the DNA of everyone he absorbs powers from or just those he is intimate with?

Oh that's okay. I aim to spread this cursed knowledge to everyone who will listen. But also the worldbuilding in the novel is actually really fascinating and I'm having a lot of fun with it (for someone who knew nothing about omegaverse before).

The novel goes into a lot of detail with Charlie's powers and some of it is spoilery for stuff that is yet to happen in the series. But basically Charlie inherited his powers from his mother who was also an alpha (no word on his father). She must have had somewhat different powers though because they only noticed when Charlie stole her powers. Those powers later vanished when she died.

Charlie needs to be close to someone to absorb their power. Babe mistakingly believes that it's through sex but Charlie probably does it through touch alone because by the time he meets Babe he already has a lot of powers (and he's a virgin so things don't add up otherwise lmao). I'm not sure I remember them all but he can change his scent, detect lies, put people to sleep, cause hallucinations, slow his own heartbeat... and then he also absorbs Babe's super senses.

There's no talk about genes or dna at all but something within Babe must change after Charlie absorbs his powers so he becomes worthless for Tony's breeding program. That or Tony is just really stupid. 🤡

It's later said that powers are directly linked to who people are (both as an individual and as their secondary gender) so taking away their powers somehow changes them fundamentally. It usually can't be done and will kill them. Even with Charlie it's more like stealing (e.g. if Charlie dies the powers return to their original owner; and if the original owner dies Charlie no longer possesses their power either).

[vampire-exgirlfriend]

So many people say they're being plagarised and offer no proof except all this hearsay. The one time I saw two people actually offer proof @selfproclaimedunicorn dismissed it as their writing and the accused were basically writing the same generic boring mid smut and weren't being plagarised at all or plagiarising. She says they were causing drama over generic expressions. The funny thing was the complainants fic was being recycled in a new fandom by the accused and nobody really took it seriously except a handful of their mutuals. It's you lot who create cliques and fear mongering and this idolatry worshipping writers with huge followings, in time creating your own worst enemies. People with clout somehow in the fandoms always act like corrupt cops. But it's people in the fandom who create it. I've never seen you reblog anyone's work except your friends. I've seen Natasha reblog different people and offer nice comments. But you and your friends don't. And Ange is .... I don't know. Will she be a bullet you dodged? She has a big following end she was part of a group who were unbelievably toxic until she changed (?) People are just awful in this fandom and you know it getting a taste of it yourself here and elsewhere. I've no doubt people whose OCs are overlooked and ignored or whose x readers are not read, their voices are silent and people steal from them voraciously and nobody cares. People friends with the bigger writers close ranks and shut everyone out and everyone else is scrabbling to fit in and be noticed. I can name on one hand writers who write for the fun and not attention or notes. I don't know you and I'm sorry you have suffered this but welcome to our world

honestly, i wasn't going to answer this because so much of it is just fucking stupid.

I know exactly what you're talking about re misa, and you tagged the wrong blog. it wasn't her that said that, it was @julyzaa - and you know what...she wasn't wrong. she was talking about two fics that shared a similar premise. and we both agreed that it wasn't plagiarism. it was just two authors who wrote an aemond smutty one shot with similar vibes. of which there are a million and one fics like that right now. there is an importance in being able to discern the difference.

and i'll just say it, this obsession of constantly bringing up Ange is weird. it's creepy at this point. you're welcome to dislike someone, but it's becoming glaringly obvious that there's individuals in fandom that want to blame an outside person instead of looking at themselves and the company they keep. in my time being Ange's friend, not once have I been bullied/harrassed/intimidated - not even in a joking way. the chatting never turns toxic and the only time we're talking about other people is when shit gets weird on the dash (like it is right now). that's just normal social interaction, babes. we spend most of our time discussing fic and the show and our real lives.

and frankly, i don't know where this idea of 'clique' came from or why it seems this is an accusation that's being thrown around - not just at myself but others. there's no clique. there's no secret club or burn book or whatever you think there is lurking out there where we're concerned. im so confused as to why it's an issue that friend groups crop up and people get close. that's the nature of being mutuals! it's weird to be angry at people for making friendships and taking those friendships offline.

this is my blog and i'm allowed to reblog what I want - as is everyone else. you don't have a solution for whole 'clique' conundrum you seem so concerned with, so I can only assume your answer would be for me to just reblog everything I see, in hopes that your work reaches an audience. and i'm not going to do that. i will reblog the stories and edits that speak to me, that inspire me, that i actually enjoyed. and i've become friends with a lot of those authors, sure. because i put in the effort to get to know them. i stopped posting on tumblr because I got no response when posting my fic. My audience is clearly elsewhere. But it's always 'will you reblog my stuff' but it's never reciprocated, so what's the point in supporting mutuals if the mutual relationship is gone? have you ever reached out to me? have you ever struck up a conversation or attempted to chat about something other than fic? no? then why do you have any expectations of me at all where your fic is concerned? maybe look that the relationships you have formed and you'll have your answer.

[mooncello]

What a fun Sunday so far. ⚡ thank you for the tags @bookish-bogwitch (LOVE seeing some of your writing process), @shrekgogurt (still haven't recovered from ch 13 of ikabikam in the best way possible), @emeryhall (happy anniversary!) & @you-remind-me-of-the-babe (anguished Baz is such a vibe fr).

For today's update:

Enter Niall & Dev.

Truly one of the most unexpected delights of writing this fic has been the insistence of Niall and Dev to show up and take a prominent role in the story. I adore them. I adore them as individual characters, and I love who they are for Baz.

Here's a little from chapter 2 of lost boys. This chapter will publish next week! I'm traveling this week, so I'll post once I'm back.

Under the cut because of length. It's a 30+ sentence Sunday, y'all.

Baz POV, 16 yo, year 12 (school).

Towards the end of lunch, I hear a familiar booming laugh across the canteen. I figure I have two minutes until impact. I tuck my sketchbook and pencils away and twist the lid back onto my thermos of tea. “Just a head’s up,” I say to Niall, who is still contently working away, “we’re about to be interrupted by the demon of chaos hims—” “Bazza!” There’s the solid thump of a hand against my shoulder and the dramatic collapse of tall, muscular limbs into the seat beside me. “My favourite nerd. How’s it going, cuz?” Dev flashes his white, perfect teeth at me before snatching my remaining bourbon biscuit. His fingernails are painted turquoise today, his dark hair is swept away from his face, and he’s wearing eyeliner. The bastard looks amazing. Despite being cousins, we never really hung out as kids. Always kept to different social circles. Which is to say Dev constantly had a roving pack of friends, and I had nobody (save for the lost boys in my dreams). But when I got outed this past spring, Dev decided to take a more active presence in my life. He even convinced me to join the football team with him. He’s charismatic and popular in his own way, and so unabashedly and loudly himself that even the nastiest bullies don’t bother him. It's been nice, having Dev in my life. Even though it means I now deal with his chaotic, abrasive personality all the goddamn time. “Dev, this is Niall.” I make a small sweeping motion to the boy across from us. Dev raises his chin in greeting. “New kid. Hey.” Niall smiles faintly. He looks rather disoriented. Possibly awestruck. I don’t blame him. Dev tends to have that effect on people. I’m almost envious of it. Another smack hits my upper arm. “Did’ya hear about practice this afternoon? Thirty minutes later than usual.” “Yes, I received the same team-wide notification, Dev, thank you.” Dev is now peering at Niall’s drawing tablet without shame, while continuing to talk to me. “A bunch of us are getting ice cream after the match on Friday. Wanna join?” “That’s a very solid maybe,” I tell him in a tone that communicates I’d rather eat grass laced with slug poison. I like playing on the pitch, but I’m not about to huff dairy with a bunch of footballer lads. “Great.” Dev stands, all six feet of him, and squeezes my top knot. I sigh and bat his hand away. Clearly I need to have another conversation with him about acceptable physical contact. “See you at practice then. Nice meeting you, Niall.” He’s off in a swirl of flair and overpriced body spray. “Sorry about him,” I murmur to Niall. I really hope he’s not scared off.

hellos & tags! xoxo

@thewholelemon, @best--dress, @facewithoutheart, @cutestkilla, @whatevertheweather, @artsyunderstudy, @ivelovedhimthroughworse, @fatalfangirl, @youarenevertooold, @raenestee, @orange-peony, @ileadacharmedlife, @nightimedreamersworld, @rimeswithpurple, @iamamythologicalcreature, @shemakesmeforget & @arthurkko (your merwolves ... still thinking about your merwolves)

[evidenceof]

Hiya!!

Secret Santa here (again lol)! 🎅

Link some of your favourite fics and writers! Let me gauge your vibe!

Also, please link your personal favourite of things YOU have written

(I’m very social and unfortunately very eager, so you may get quite a few of these little messages! Answer at your leisure!!)

hello again!! thank you for being both very social and eager (i too am, if forced) <3 answers to this below the cut! they... will be long :D :D sorry :'D

i have several fic recs under this tag, and all of them i genuinely love to bits and reread like i'm being paid to do that. this might be a mishmash of categories but... it is what it is. :')

character studies

amazing real adventure stories, vol. 46 by @sea-changed - an insanely compelling gen fic of joe liebgott that never leaves my mind. grounded in historical context that makes every bit of it sing as much as the characterization. cannot recommend this fic enough. i think about it at night while staring at my ceiling. it's just so good.

kräftig, nicht zu schnell by @ep6bastogne - this is a webgott but i'm putting it under this category bc of how well they're able to flesh out how both lieb and web mirror each other but also just how different they are. GODDDD i loved this one so much. so much sunlight fighting its way through punched out holes.

Like Goddamn Men by annakovsky on ao3 - listen. this is fully damian lewis|dick winters / ron livingston|lewis nixon rpf and i did not think i'd be into it but it's such an incredible way of bringing to life the psychic damage that was bootcamp and the spillover of it into the individual personalities of the actors and also the vets. incredible stuff from 2008. she wrote one thing for band of brothers and it was this, and we all cheered.

debilitating yearning and/or sweetness

Before the World Begins by rilla on ao3 - another winnix fic. that takes place pre-war and is a bit of an au in the sense that they don't meet at ocs but before it. it's so tender and it has all that confusion and fondness that i love so, so much about winnix. (mind the tags!)

lippenstift by @ww2yaoi - this is like, if you poured and mixed the highest concentrate of frustration and wanting and injected into both lieb and web and let it play out in the briefest of moments. love how much of it is communicated by where lieb is looking.

stacker by plutoandpersephone on ao3 - a bit of a wild card bc this is a the terror fic for their 2024 bangmas. it's 469 words of just GREAT stuff. so impressive to me how they were able to condense that much desire and character.

And at Your Touch, I Burn by Muccamukk - whump!dick winter in a sick fic discussing kentucky manuevers. i love the descriptions of the exercise (i just really love it when a fic is pinned down into the historical context in one way shape or form). also any time dick hallucinates nix's voice is a Great time for me.

Maybe I'm a fool, but it's fun by @babe-heffron - luztoye and kicked me out of my "not reading fic" rut by getting me to stay up to read all 80k words of it in the shortest time possible. tenderness is there, and it slaps you across the face with a whiplash of yearning. her incorporating paratrooper dynamics w/ the rest of the army really, really did it for me too. (as per my preference, incredible character studies too — especially when exploring luz outside of the class clown persona)

fix-its and outsider povs

Peaches by @tahnawanda - this had me breaking into cold sweat bc i /ran to the leckie/runner tag wanting so, SO much more of this dynamic and post-war goodness. great exploration of stasis after the war. (i kinda.. really love stasis after the war). and that tug of war between pain and familiarity in a supposed brother-in-arms, wondering if you can live with the presence of war in the form of them, but realizing that at the end of the day you just want to be with them.

Transcript by @gorgeousundertow - one of my first experiences with outsider pov and GOD another one that i think about constantly. i love seeing people explore company dynamics, and this fic is such an incredibly fun and thoughtful way of exploring winnix while effectively characterizing so many of the easy company men. so good, so, so good. i re-read this at least twice a month.

Chin Music by @thrillingdetectivetales - in the same vein as Transcript where i loved reading pitch perfect characterizations of easy company men /gossiping about winnix. eeee <3 hahaha it flows so well and the dialogue just feels so natural, i can easily imagine slotting it into the series. great outsider pov

----

my writing

Chicago Tribune, 6 June ‘44, Crossword Puzzle, 10-Down - i loved writing this because i really wanted to explore zielinski's world (with or without the background winnix) even within a short word count. aaaand i just had a great time going through 40s crossword puzzles. i also just really love it when mundanity hits.

Make Do and Mend - window shopping for winnix. no but seriously, the tidbit about dick having a hard time getting himself to buy a suit once he was home just struck a nerve with me and i wanted to explore it. that and his inability to see himself as worthy of space if he's unable to live up to a function.

these two kiss prompts! [scrunch] [blush] fun to write and short and sweet. <3

---

that's it!!!!!!! i went into length about these sorry but i really do love these fics and their authors very much!! i feel very strongly about all of them!!!!! <3

[lunarnights95]

okay, what. the. fuck??? LITERALLY, WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE? This shit irks me so bad. Hang on, I'm about to go on a tangent.

first of all, Sarah, you are an incredible person and a fabulous writer, and you have a wonderful life to take care of outside this app. this person clearly doesn't understand that they should be GREATFUL for the fact that you're spending even a MOMENT of your time in your already hectic and demanding life to write stories. so don't listen to this twit, and I'm sorry for all the shit and low-key harassment you've been receiving. You don't deserve this at all, babes.

secondly, people who write fanfics are not doing it for OTHERS. They are doing it for THEMSELVES. for many, this platform is an outlet, a way to express oneself with others who understand you. for example, the group SAS regarding Loki? that's an outlet for many, including myself. writing fics is another outlet to be used in multiple ways. it can be to clear ones thoughts that are simply too jumbled or incoherent with so many ideas, allowing them to focus on other aspects of life. it can also be a way to allow ones creativity to flow freely with no feelings of shame or guilt with what they feel or think. whether it be surrounding a character, an emotion, a situation, a desire, or anything.

thirdly, when an author or fic writer or even any type of content creator becomes too consumed in the constant need and desperation of wanting to make their readers/viewers happy rather than themselves, it results in them to burn out and no longer want to continue forward. you watch as a once amazing creator go from a passionate and bright individual to a mentally exhausted and drained person who no longer wants to continue what makes them happy. how would I know such a thing? because I used to write all the time, I used to write fics that I was happy about and proud to be a part of a community that appreciated them. then the demand came around, and the sudden desire to constantly be approved and adored for such hard work became a necessity. after a short time of this, i stopped doing this for me and started doing it for others, which resulted in me swiftly dropping the hobby entirely. my creative outlet was now a burden, which left me reeling with the constant buzzing in my skull of ideas making damn near impossible to think. as well as being forced to face reality 24/7 with no breaks or sense of relief. no one should have to witness or experience their passion die right in front of their eyes because of other people.

fourth, this is to ALL the creators out there when it comes to people like this? don't even waste your breath, honey. you being happy with your work and what you're putting out is what matters, not what other people think or like, no no. if YOU are happy, then that's the greatest achievement. everyone on this platform who writes, draws, films, sings, or anything at all, don't listen to the negative voices in the crowd. I know it may seem easier to let those voices taint everything you've worked for, making it tempting to give up. just take a step back, breath, and relax. you're doing amazing, your work is perfect just the way it is, and there are true supporters out there standing with you.

just in case this person tries to go to other accounts associated with Sarah, I'm gonna tag some writers or creators I adore so they're wary of these people.

@muddyorbsblr @maple-seed @lokisgoodgirl @lokischambermaid @michelleleewise @vbecker10 @fictive-sl0th @anonymousfiction211 @trickster-maiden

(These are only some. Feel free to add on more if the desired)

Why can’t you write more faster? If others can write so soon why can’t you?

What is in the fucking water this week I swear to god.

Anon, I’m currently working 2 jobs. Not to mention my mental health is always at risk of taking a wobble and I have to keep a close watch on it.

But even if none of those things were happening I don’t owe anyone an unending stream of fics. I write when I can and when I’m in the mood, and strangely enough I don’t have the time or the desire to sit at my laptop for endless hours writing fanfic. My life doesn’t revolve around this site. Jesus

[tsunderedoctor]

okay hehehehehe

so I'm in need of comfort bc college is ass and I just want to lie in the arms of some massive man while I do my homework BUT THATS IRRELEVANT.

Could I request Crocodile, Shanks and Aokiji (if you only want to do one its alright) with an s/o (fem pronouns) who overworks herself a lot to achieve her life goals? But at the same time gets very stressed very easily and takes critique very harshly :((((

I get pretty easily overwhelmed with work but I just can't stop bc idk anxiety or something

Tysm baby!!! Sorry if its bad and tell me if you don't want to write something :) have a great day and remember I'm so proud of you 💖💖

Ace!! I am so sorry for the wait on this, don't hate me😭😭 But I hope things are going better for you, and know I love you and will always support you!! Remember, you are amazing! Even in our most tiring times! 💖💖

Babes Below~!

Sir Crocodile

He watched her from the corner of his eye, as he took another sip from his wine glass, she had been staring at that god-awful book long enough, he began to wonder if she was in some trance. Finally giving the woman his full attention, he cleared his throat, breaking her from her thoughts and looking up at him in confusion. 

Raising his hand, he ushered her to come see him, getting up off the office chair felt relieving in its own right as she made her way to stand before him.

“You know, work isn’t quality if you aren’t giving it your all, take a break, we can worry about that another time, it won’t do you or I any good if you can’t concentrate.”

Sighing, feeling defeated by his words and her emotional turmoil, he eyed her one last time before grabbing her wrist and sitting him next to him. 

“A break doesn’t mean nitpicking yourself, either. Stop thinking those thoughts before I give you something to actually worry about.”

Deciding it must be his attempt of comfort, she nodded and leaned back in the cushion of his loveseat, perhaps a break is really all she needs.

“Red Hair” Shanks

Relaxation surprisingly ran in the ginger’s veins, catnaps were a usual must, along with sun bathing and other self-care fortes. He was always surprised in how much work she put into things, but figured it was an issue he had as a laid back individual, not her for being a hard worker.

Walking into her office was always a quiet ordeal, she was either reading manuscripts or writing something down, today however, he had found the woman fast asleep at her desk. 

Looking at the work presented on her desk, he skimmed it a bit, before nodding and grabbing a pen. He decided since he was the usual one to relax, maybe it was time she did as well, besides what could go wrong with giving it a try!

it was apparently a bad idea in of itself, as you woke up with a stressed Shanks staring at the paper, finally turning to you with tears in his eyes from frustration.

“How do you do this everyday?”

Admiral “Aokiji” Kuzan

Kuzan is another more laid back individual, unlike Shanks however, he knows when enough is enough. He tore the pages from her hands and placed the on top of the filing cabinets, far away she couldn’t reach them without any help. 

Hearing her ask for it back and slowly becoming annoyed with him ignoring her, she tried getting it herself. He watched her struggle for a bit, before picking her up and putting her on the bed. 

“Relax, will you? It will be there tomorrow, it won’t kill you to take a single break, you haven’t even eaten yet today.”

Listening to his words, she had realized he was right, her stomach growling in agreement. Ignoring her embarrassed blush, he had her promise him she would stay put while he made her some food, maybe after a meal she would start thinking properly again.

Tag List: @chloe-nanami @musical-apple @luxiditea @macdonaldsmanager @onepieceya @undercoverweeeb @pebbsie @athenaportgas @nephytale and whoever else wants to join in!

[mcwriting]

the press junket

based on this request by @i-dont-need-anymore (won't let me tag sadly)

takes place after the shower scene and the premiere

Ship: Tom Holland x Reader

Word Count: 1546

Warnings: seggsual innuendos lol

❖

"Babe come on, what are you doing?" you called to Tom across the hotel suite. "We're going to be late and that will look quite bad considering the news."

"Coming! Coming," Tom exclaimed as he rushed into the living room, hopping as he tried to pull on a shoe. "Sorry, couldn't find my good socks."

"I told you I put them by the sink."

"Yeah, but sometimes I'm dumb and don't listen," he said slyly, standing to kiss you and make it all better.

You rolled your eyes and gave him a shove.

"If that ain't the truth... Now let's go, we need to figure out a game plan for answering questions now that everyone and their mom has seen those pictures of us."

You both rushed out the door towards the elevator to find the right floor, where the film's PR team had set up shop for journalists to come, interview, and go.

"What do you mean a game plan? Why not just tell the truth?"

Despite your impending tardiness, you stopped in your tracks.

"Thomas. We cannot go down there and tell that bunch of hungry sharks that we got together after filming the scene that has everyone talking. No, we're going to keep it simple. Tell them we started dating after filming wrapped and somehow kept it secret until last weekend, right?"

You started walking again, pressing the elevator button and tapping your toes while you waited.

"Darling, I just don't think that's a good idea. You know how I am with keeping regular secrets. I kept ours for so long that I don't think I can physically lie about it anymore."

"Well let's just hope that have us in a room together so I can do all the talking," you smirked as the doors dinged and opened, revealing a bustling hall full of agents, assistants, talent, and journalists as they prepared for the long day of interviews.

Immediately you were both swept into a break room to talk to your teams before getting started, quickly learning that you and Tom would be spending half a day apart and the other half together.

Great.

"So the truth it is?" Tom whispered, giving you a look.

You sighed and rolled your eyes.

"And it shall set us free, I guess."

It wasn't long before you go whisked away to individual rooms, finding that next to you the entire time would be a blown up poster of you.

Time passed quickly as you completed your individual interviews. Of course, you got asked plenty about you and Tom, but most of the journalists were required to keep movie details secret, so they didn't attribute it to your scene.

Finally, though, you were able to get up, stretch your legs, and have lunch while you waited for Tom to finish up.

"How'd it go?" you asked as soon as he got in to the green room, barely giving him time to get his bearings.

"Usual. Plenty of questions about you but nothing too terrible. And you? They ask you anything too weird or personal? Do I need to threaten anyone?"

"First of all, if either of us would do any threatening, it would be me. Everyone knows you're too precious for that," you explained, giving Tom a pat on the cheek and a quick kiss. "And second, no, nothing happened. Just the same recycled questions every ten minutes."

Tom smiled and kissed your head.

"I guess I can agree on the threatening part. At least we'll be in the same room the rest of the day. Apparently we're going to read thirst tweets. That should be fun!"

Your jaw dropped slightly as you pulled away and looked Tom in the eyes to see that he was being serious.

"Are you... You actually want to read thirst tweets? You can barely handle people on instagram live asking you to marry them."

"Yeah, but, at least you'll be there."

You shook your head and laughed, mentally preparing for an uncomfortable afternoon.

❖

"Hi I'm Tom Holland."

"And I'm y/n y/l/n."

"And you're watching thirst tweets," you said in unison, followed with a laugh.

You had gotten through another round of regular interviews with Tom and were happy to be taking a break from normal interrogation, now moving on to the media companies that opted for the "fun" kinds of interviews to finish out the day.

"So now that the world knows we're dating, stan twitter has been going crazy, so it only seemed right to read some of our most recent and thirstiest tweets," you explained.

"I'm interested to see what we get. I haven't read any comments since those pictures got out, so I'm a bit nervous. They were already pretty crazy before."

"So do you want to start or should I?" you asked, holding up the large plastic jug containing your printed tweets.

"Ladies first, I suppose," Tom offered, giving you the floor. You shook your head and dipped a hand into the cup, fishing out a small strip of paper. You quickly scanned it and let out a chuckle before reading aloud.

"Okay, this one says 'Y/n could run me over with a truck and I'd still say thank you.'" You folded the paper and looked up. "I'm not really a truck person, so is Tom's Audi okay? I want to do it in style. Kidding, kidding. I'm too good a driver to run over anyone."

You looked to Tom to signal him to go.

"Like I'd let you run over someone in my car anyways," he muttered, digging into his own jar. "Here we are: 'I'm not sure who's finer, y/n y/l/n or Tom Holland. Either way, they're both winning.' Let's be real, y/n is the luckiest girl in the world to be dating a specimen like myself."

Tom gave a smug look to the camera and pretended to flip his hair. You shoved him and rolled your eyes.

"Uh huh, at least he's humble, everybody."

"Just read your next one," he said flatly.

You stuck out your tongue at the Brit and continued on.

"Oh you're gonna love this one, Tom. 'Tom Holland and y/n y/l/n should tag team me. I mean in wrestling of course.'"

Tom groaned at the thought and shook his head.

"Sorry, y'all. We only wrestle each other. It's pretty exclusive," you fake bragged as Tom's face reddened in embarrassment.

"God, babe, why are yours so violent?" he started, then paused when he pulled out his next tweet. "Guess I spoke too soon. 'I would let Tom Holland use me as a golf ball for driving practice.' That's nice but Titleist just sent me a whole box of Pro-v1's, so I should be set for a while."

"Yeah. Thanks to Titleist I'll get to spend even less time with my boyfriend than I already do," you said sarcastically.

"You know you're always welcome to golf with us."

"The problem with that is that you're actually good at golf. I slice the ball every time. But anyways, for the last tweet, we're going to play rock paper scissors and the loser has to read theirs, alright?"

You and Tom shifted to face each other and put out your hands to play. You were pleased to beat Tom's scissors with rock and cause him to have to read.

"Alright fine," he sighed, digging around the cup. "Let's see here: 'Wishing I was y/n y/l/n just to have Tom Holland's ass at my disposal.'"

You started laughing uncontrollably as Tom sat with brows furrowed in confusion.

"What does- what does that even mean?" he asked with concern.

You wiped tears from your eyes as you tried to answer.

"Come on babe, you do have a nice ass," you then addressed the camera. "And for those wondering, it is as firm as it is plump. I don't blame anyone for wanting a handful."

You sent a wink forward and again had Tom groaning, slumping against the table in total embarrassment.

"Well it looks like I've officially broken my boyfriend, so I guess I'll do the outro. Make sure you go check out our new film and follow us on social media! I might just start a 'thirst tweet Thursday' from now on."

"Please no," Tom cried as he sat up, giving you a look. You kissed him on the cheek, then turned to the camera again.

"This has been Tom Holland and y/n y/l/n, signing off. Stay thirsty my friends."

You sent a final wink to the camera and a salute before the media director called cut and thanked you both for participating, then getting the production team to clean up.

You turned to Tom, who still had the remnants of a blush on his cheeks.

"Was it everything you imagined and more?" you asked Tom, knowing he was regretting he previous enthusiasm.

"'And more' would be a sufficient answer."

You chuckled, still amused at his reaction.

"I cannot wait to read the comments when that interview gets posted. Now come on, babe. I think you need a snack."

"What kind of snack?"

"Depends on how much time and privacy we've got."

Tom's brows shot upwards.

"I think we can manage," he said quickly, getting up and dragging you away to the nearest bathroom.

❖

A/N: ahhhh sorry it's taken me so long to finish this but I'm obsessed! I wanted to add more tweet ideas but didn't want this to be too long haha. I hope y'all enjoyed!

Permanent Tag List

Send a message or ask if you’d like to be added to my permanent or series taglists so I can verify you’ve been added!

@jackiehollanderr, @one-big-fangirl, @agentnataliahofferson, @spider-babe, @justafangirlduh, @hollandswife

[boysbeloving]

10 Fandoms, 10 Characters, 10 tags

tagged by @ahdriking thanks babe! Sorry this is super late!

okay....i might not hit 10? lol but i've also cheated twice 🙃

the following list is in no particular order

Supernatural: Castiel

Yes, yes yes...SPN...sorry...but Cas really is VERY close to my heart...the journey this angel goes through...learning about humanity...learning with humanity...and everything Cas experiences on earth with and without the Winchesters (Misha's portrayal of Cas definitely adds to why Cas is my fav)

2. Queer As Folk: Brian Kinney

This bitch istg...so i watched QAF after it ended and it was during a very difficult/tumultuous/uncertain time of my life...and then having Brian enter my life made it worse 🙃 (in the best possible ways)...He's so annoying, so rude, so slutty, so hurt, so alone...and i just...want to tell him that it's okay to love...okay to feel hurt...okay to reach out...okay to ask for help...no one will think any less of him...'you'll always be young, you'll always be beautiful, you're brian kinney for fuck's sake' okay i'm gonna go cry brb

3. Spirited Away: Haku

He dragon

4. Howl's Moving Castle: Howl and Sophie

They are BRILLIANT!!! as individuals and as a couple...love them so so much...their combined badassery is unparalleled...Howl will be a dramatic bitch and Sophie would be like 'i gotta go save my dramatic bitch'...also..Howl SO gets pegged by Sophie (i know she told me)

5. Kuroshitsuji: Sebastian Michaelis

uuuufffffff.....he's the devil....what more can i say....

6. Goblin: Goblin

okay when eun tak writes 'he has a sad smile' and they ACTUALLY run a montage of his sad smiles...bestie i died....i cried SO MUCH during THAT scene (no spoilers)...he's immortal, he's so done with your shit, he's hurt, he's in pain, he's burdened with life and all you want to do is hold this immortal being and rock him back and forth (also Gong Yoo ssi is just phenomenal...if you haven't watched it then please watch this kdrama)

7. Moon Lovers: Wang So

another hurt man....wow i have a type don't i...it's the 'i can fix/fuck/accept/love him' trope...he was never accepted for who he was, never loved, and it's this lack of familial love in the formative years of his life that fill him with unimaginable rage...and how he still simply moves forward...he achieves a lot later in life (but at what cost uuuffff)...i love the angst....right up my alley...(Lee Joon Gi the actor you are...again please watch this kdrama if you haven't already)

8. Kinnporsche: Kinn Anakinn Theerapanyakul

*waves hand* this entire blog is effectively dedicated to the man...just check my pinned post lol

9. The Untamed: Lan Wangji and Xue Yang

okay...wow...Lan-zhan <333 (i know i'm not supposed to call him that, only one person has the right hehehee)....his stoicism, his no-nonsense persona, his pride, his sophisticated rebellion, his loud and proud declaration of love (and it's not words....it's his actions), his hair, just everything <33 (and the absolute gremlin Wang Yibo portrays him in the live action....boyo!!! it's whiplash y'all hheeehehe...and yibo is my baby btw)

AND Xue Yang...he's one of the villains....he appeared on screen and i was like 'this one....i'm gonna take this one'

so ya...i like one of the heroes and one of the villains...i got range y'all...i got range...hhheehehe

okay now to tag others...do i even talk to 10 people here? hahhahaha i'm not sure lol....but here we go (as always please do this only if you feel like doing it!)

@sereinartemishan @discluded @rainbowcolored7 @aayuthaezhuthu @skamskada @domsaysstuff @mickolo @deliciouswastelandgoddess @matan4il @nattaphum

and anyone else who wants to do this!

[bookofmirth]

As an elriel shipper I find it really sad that the two sides can't just get along and make this "ship-war" more fun. Like why can't we make this fun and just laugh about how we all see these characters going in different directions and joke around I don't get it. Why can't we just be like "5 bucks on elriel!" "I'll raise you ten!". Why you gotta be so serious all the time it's literally a book about fake creatures fucking.

Honestly. Sorry but I'm using this as an opportunity to rant about this fandom because it's so embarrassing, I am so tired of it.

I used to have so many elriel mutuals. I didn't care that they posted about it for years because I had the tag blocked so I got to see their other content still and interact with them. Funny how a bunch of them unfollowed me after acosf though, when I started posting content they didn't like and they couldn't extend me the same courtesy of blocking the tags so we could still interact regardless. I think I still have some but they just might not be as active, idk.

People are way too invested in being right. And they are way too invested in the idea that canon = the only thing you can like.

That's the whole reason fandom exists! To play with canon! To change it in ways that we prefer! Yes fandom exists to get more content about our faves, but that content is inherently not canon. Literally, anything that any of us say about these books, unless it's a direct quote from something that sjm has published, is not canon. People need to get the fuck over it and start to have fun, maybe. Even fanfic that agrees with canon can be tagged on AO3 as "canon compliant". That should tell you something. It's not fucking canon, no matter how close to the books it is.

(Screw canon. Y'all all need to take a giant step back from canon because it's getting mangled in your desperate grasp at this point.)

This whole thing with the character/ship weeks is just another example of how this fandom cannot have nice things. We can't even appreciate the same characters without people making it into a dick measuring contest, what the fuck! And I get anons who get mad at me for pointing out when people say shady shit about Elain, like babes, mes amis, besties, we both like Elain and I am defending her by saying don't reduce her entire personality to bread and roses, why are you mad at me?!

I haven't participated in any events since acosf (except for one elucien hc post that I did last minute) because the events have been tainted. It wasn't just this last week, it was way before this. The events have felt like a contest rather than a genuine enthusiastic "yay, this thing!". And now not only that, but certain people are trying to make events into a contest for territory or "I'm better at liking this character than you are". Gross. And sorry but the timing of the event pages is fucking sus! The fact that people have saved a whole bunch of Elain week event blog titles that they will never use just so that Sue (and others) can't access them, is fucking ridiculous and childish. And the fact that people were being snide about Sue in the comments of the one announcement? And those comments were just treated like those people weren't making pointed, dickhead comments? So much for your neutral, drama-free event. LMAO

And people treat fan art/artists that way as well, like if someone draws elucien it's a checkmark in the elucien column? We can't just enjoy that art? Or if it's an artist who has drawn elriel/elucien/gwynriel, then people get pissed off that the artist they thought was on "their" side has betrayed them? It's so immature.

But I also wonder if the ship war ending will make it any better. Right now I'm seeing a lot of pro/anti Nesta content and I am sighing and pinching the bridge of my nose. If you don't like what someone says about Nesta, just block that person or the tags. It's not enough to have a ship war? We need to be pro/anti individual characters, too?

That frustrates me because how can we have conversations with one another? What's the point of being in the fandom if it's just "I think x" and then all we hear in return is a chorus of "so true bestie".

Fandom is supposed to be fun. People are sucking all the joy out of it.

[kojinnie]

Something About Pain | Reiner Braun

Pairing: Reiner Braun x Reader (she/her pronoun)

Summary: You ran away from home and your boyfriend Reiner Braun is desperate to bring you home. When the two of you meet, you share a conversation about how pain inflicts the two of you differently.

Tags & Warning: Angst, (eventual) fluff, (mild) hurt/comfort, slow burn, major miscommunication problem, past trauma, abandonment issue, mention of anxiety, Reiner is a grumpy, hurt individual yet delicate inside | SFW

Word Count: 4.5K

A/N: Based on the request by @okubean for Twisted Match-Up! I hope you like it, boo! (More A/N at the end of the fic)

.::My Masterlist::.

Twisted Match-Up (x Reader): Zeke | Hange | Jean 

There was a vivid look of worry on the face of Reiner Braun as he drove through the empty neighborhood streets. His right hand on the steering wheel, the other one tapping anxiously on the phone, dialing the same number over and over again to no avail.

All of his calls had gone straight to your mailbox, and his text messages were no longer delivered. Reiner came to realize that you've blocked him. "Idiot," he muttered to himself, cursing this whole modern affinity to accommodate people running from their problems easier. Reiner thought the feature was the stupidest thing ever created by humankind, he was pissed, but more annoyed. He realized how tired he was, and if he could, he'd rather be in bed right now. Not roaming your friend's neighborhood at ungodly hour.

"Where... the fuck... are you..." he was pissed, evident from the grunt as he tried one final desperate attempt to call you. It went straight to your mailbox. Your cheery voice didn't make him feel any better, if any, Reiner wished he could tell the mailbox-you to shut the hell up.

Reiner finally hit the brake, sighing annoyed. His black SUV stopped underneath the streetlamp, at a random neighborhood he could only vaguely remember. He had been here before, when he picked you up from your bestfriend's house after one of your "night out" with your friends from college, but he could barely remember which one of these identical suburban houses did she live.

He rested his forehead on the steering wheel, racking his brain trying to remember the house number. Is this even the correct cul-de-sac? There are tens others. Who the fuck came up with the concept of suburban housing? Strips and strips of uniformed houses. And even worse, who the fuck thought that it was such a great idea to live in one? Like some Stepford Wives nightmare. Reiner couldn't believe some people would save up money for all their lives to pay off their mortgage to live in complete conformity, like a communist utopia with capitalist credit system. Were these people right in the head or had their brains fucked over by the boring 9 to 5 jobs they've had for decades?

That's beside the point. Reiner sighed. He ranted a lot when frustrated.

He knew you'd be there, in one of these houses, curled up crying in your bestfriend's bed, perhaps pouring your heart out on how much of a bad boyfriend Reiner was. He knew because you've passed the micro-aggression millionth times, muttering under your breath, saying that you'd be fine if Reiner kicks you out because your bestfriend would take you. What kind of fuckery was all that? Why would he ever kick you out? Reiner thought. He was clueless. Why were you so adamant that he would leave you eventually? Reiner could feel his annoyance grew while reminiscing your antics. He began to think, maybe he had never understood you to begin with.

But Reiner was wrong, because he was right about a lot of things about you. You were exactly in your bestfriend's house, curled up in her bed, ranting how hard it was being with Reiner. Although the tears had dried since hours ago. You were in your PJs and drinking the hot coco your friend had made you, comfortable in the bliss of obliviousness upon the fact that your boyfriend of one year was now driving aimlessly trying to locate your position. You were adamant that he was going to leave you anyway, you thought he wouldn't exert an ounce of energy trying to plea you home.

It was 4 AM in the morning and you hadn't come home. The trace of you had gone completely from Reiner's apartment since early morning. Reiner knew that this was bound to happen, had he done anything differently - would you stay? He thought of you and the state that the two of you had been tangled in. All the unresolved tension, or the persistent insinuations coming from you that you always shrugged off in the end, saying "Nothing." as if it did not matter, each time Reiner shot them with, "What did you say?"

You sipped your hot coco and let a troubled whimper as you told your bestfriend what was happening. It's the culmination of small things, your feeling of inadequacy and the anxiety of waking up every morning, being convinced that each day would be the day that Reiner finally leaves you. Every day you’d be mentally preparing yourself for the ultimate fate until Reiner returns home with his big, warm hug until your anxiety caves in. And that the anxiety would appear again in the next morning.

The idea of him leaving became incessant and you could never bug it off. You wondered why, maybe because you believed that you were inherently flawed. Maybe it's the way Reiner made that small "Tsk," when he came home to see the garbage piled up, "Babe, didn't I tell you to put out the garbage?"; or the deep, annoyed and condescending sighs he made when he missed his favorite show because you forgot to pay the cable bills while he was out at the office.

Maybe it's the way you couldn't match his sharp memory and reliability with you constantly forgetting things and your seeming inattentiveness despite the abundant reminders, notes and alarms you've made to keep yourself alerted. At times, your mind just wandered, and you needed him to rope you back in, but he never got the gist.

So, you were adamant that you had grown to be nothing but inconvenience for him, hence when he spent the night over at his office due to what he called "Shit load of work" over the phone, you were certain he wouldn't come back at all. You knew that the pain of being abandoned would haunt you to myriad of miseries, so you'd rather leave first. You knew it would be the end you both needed, because you knew Reiner did not care about you enough to tolerate your shit any longer. He was always quiet, there was hardly ever any expression on his face, God knows what he was thinking underneath. Each of your "Reiner, I'm sorry." would only be met by a singular hum or a quick, "It's okay." that left you wondering, did he ever mean it at all?

So that morning you left. While he was still at the office, because you knew there was no feelings strong enough for Reiner to keep him from leaving you eventually. You left first.

Your bestfriend nodded in reassurance, "You gotta do what you gotta do." she said pulling you into a warmly hug, but your attention was suddenly caught by the pile of plastics and packages from your take-outs at the corner of your friend's room. It just bothered your mind, and you got up to take it out. A small token of atonement to what you wish you had done to Reiner.

Your bestfriend immediately scrambled and took the garbage away from you. Insisting for you to stay in bed and let her take care of it. You nodded and retreated to the pillow fortress. You felt bad for her because the temperature was dropping, and there was no necessity to take the garbage out right now, but your impulse was often hard to subside, and your friend had grown to acknowledge and take sympathy over that. Unlike Reiner, you thought.

Maybe it's because Reiner never shown anyone openly about what he felt, but what you did not know, sometimes he wish he had. Sometimes he wished he'd opened up about how hard it is for him to breathe when unfortunate things occur that he did not have the answer to. Sometime he wished he could share his fear, worry, anger and disappointment, but he was always thought that a man got to suck it up, and perseverance was the only way he knew how to survive.

Sometimes he wished he had told somebody that the constant worrying about his loved ones consumed him too, to the point it became hard for him to let his guard down even when things are okay. He was always on alert, and sometimes it got exhausting too for him. He wished he had told all that, so in times like these he did not have to assume the heartbreak alone while trying to find the solution to it. Sometimes he wished people knew that he cared too, he loved too, he knew too when someone he loved was struggling, but he never learned how to show it. Reiner knew your mind often raced hundreds of miles per hour, Reiner knew your state of agitation, but he never had anyone to teach him how affection should look like, other than be of service, which he tried his best at being. It was no wonder that Reiner was left clueless when you chose to leave without warning.

He was pissed because he knew how daft he was, yet none of it was ever intentional. He cursed himself for not knowing what went wrong, for not being more observant, for not being open with his feelings, for not telling you how much he had grown to love you and how much his apartment immediately grew cold at your absence. But mostly, at this moment, he cursed himself because he wasn't attentive enough to know you friend's house number.

The air was crisp when your bestfriend stepped out of her porch. She made quick steps to the garbage can when she saw bright headlights coming in from the end of the street. She grunted, wondering what was her neighbor doing, cruising around with dramatically low speed. It seemed odd.

She put her fingers above her eyes, trying to recognize the plate number or the driver, but the black SUV lights were dispersing her sight.

She closed the garbage can and tried to immediately return inside but the car cruised closer and pulled over in front of her. The window rolled open.

"Hey," There was an immediate look of surprise from the person that Reiner barely recognized. But he was sure enough that it was her, judging from her body language; all tensed and alerted, "This is Reiner."

For a moment, there was an awkward silence between Reiner and your bestfriend. She was considering carefully on what to say next.

"Uhm yeah, I know." Your bestfriend finally spoke, her voice creaked, caught by surprise. "What do you want?"

Reiner spoke your name, "I want to meet my girlfriend." Reiner could hear the desperation in his own voice, but your friend jeered in response.

"My girlfriend." she passingly mocked the way Reiner spoke, she came to dislike what she thought was possessiveness in Reiner's nature of speaking, "She's not available. I suggest you to scram. Before my neighbors complain."

Reiner furrowed his brows in dismay, couldn't seem to understand the hostility presented by your friend, "I need to talk to her."

She stood unyielding. Reiner opened the door and climbed off of the car, sighing as he walked closer, propelling your friend to keep her distance away even further. "Please, let me talk to her."

"Not a chance." She turned around and scurried back into the house. Reiner was quick to yell, to her expected dismissal. Without thinking further, Reiner got back to behind the wheel and moved his car forward on to the curb, proceeding to close off the exit way for her small city car in the driveway.

Reiner jumped off the car as your besfriend realized what he had done, "I'm not moving the car until she comes down."

She let out a restraint shrieked, "What the fuck?! I got a dentist appointment tomorrow morning!"

"Then please, tell her to come down and talk to me," Reiner said, sounding almost apologetic. He threw a glance at a lonely swing set in the small park across the street, "there."

The occurrence happening before your eyes was unexpected to say the least. You closed the small slit from your bestfriend's window fold, trying to manage your heartbeat that had become almost deafening. At the same time your bestfriend appeared from the door, face red with flustered, "I think he really wants to see you."

Thousands of thoughts made a commotion in your head. It did not make any sense. You made it easier for Reiner by walking away with clean slate, you were sure this was what he had hoped secretly.

Your friend shuffled inside and shot you a deep stare, she sighed heavily and told you that whether you liked it or not, you had to face him. Reiner looked genuinely worried, she said, twisting your guts even further.

You sat in her bed for a moment, trying to relive every waking moment with Reiner. Sure there were moments when your own thoughts chased you into a deep corner and you wished Reiner had seen it. Sometimes you wished he’d hold you tight, kiss you with reassurance and told you how meaningful you were to him. Sure, sometimes being with Reiner could feel lonely, but he had never treated you back nor was he ever intentionally mean to you. What do I want? The question hung heavy in your mind.

I want him to say that he wants me, the voice within the nook of your brain said, I want him to say that he loves me.

You nodded, finally ceasing from running away further.

             Reiner never thought that at his 20-something he would sit miserably on a random swing-set at a random neighborhood just an hour before the dusk cracked. Reiner was a big man, but even with his figure and the aid of his tailored suit and shirt, wrinkled after gruesome hours at work trying to keep his company afloat on the thin ice of his personal relationship with you – Reiner was tired, and miserable, and desperate. Even more, he was cold as the temperature continued to drop down.

He hung his head low, trying to fight the shivers. It was quiet, too quiet, only the faint sound of the wind and the creaking sound of the swing-set holding off to its dear life under Reiner’s massive weight. The man sighed, never he thought that the sight of you coming out of someone’s house in the dead of a  night would be a spectacle he looked forward to the most.

He closed his eyes, shutting himself off from any sound and thought. Thinking that maybe in the bleakness of his sense, the time would pass faster and your heart would soften.

In the nothingness Reiner could feel a sudden warmth crept from the tips of his fingers, he opened his eyes to see you standing before his eyes, towering him who was sitting like a pathetic boy on the swing. You were wrapped in a fluffy bathrobe, hiding your PJs underneath. In your hands were two cups of scalding tea, you shoved one into his hand, “You came.” You stated.

Reiner let out a deep sigh of relief as he saw you safe and sound. He felt warmth travelled across his body, he did not know whether it was the tea in his hand or simply the sight of you that made him felt so. His eyes latched on to you as you sat on the swing next to him, “Hey. What are you doing?” Reiner asked.

“Running away.”

“Why?”

Reiner looked at you intently, and the guilt started to consume you. You gazed afar, softly shook your head, “Dunno.”

“I see.”

Yet another silence ensued.

“How’s work?”

Reiner sighed again; the heavy breath seemed to be the only way the two of you communicated. Just two troubled minds pouring their burden at each other, “Bertholdt abruptly resigned—fuck, it’s been a nightmare, but—” Reiner pressured his thumb over his brows, trying to ease his sharp migraine that suddenly came, “—that doesn’t matter now. Will you come home?”

He looked at you again, you were still gazing to god-knows-what, everything other than his eyes. Reiner grew antsy on his seat, the swing creaked again. Please look at me. Please look at me. The words resonated incessantly in Reiner’s head but nothing came out of his mouth. Just a stoic, to-the-point question.

Don’t you wanna know the problem, Reiner? Is that all? I said I don’t know and you didn’t even try to dig in deeper? You came all the way here and you just straight up asking me to go home with you? Your mind was nowhere better. It’s in uproar but there was only silence coming out of your mouth. But he came, he didn’t leave. Contradiction danced inside your mind like an unwanted guest.

The silence grew heavier. You saw the lights from your bestfriend’s bedroom lit off, she had got to be tired eventually. Suddenly, you felt so alone. Just the two of you in this odd morning.

“It’s hard, right?” Reiner broke the silence, he looked at you again, this time he was desperate for you to look into his eyes. Little did he know, you were refusing to do so because you could feel your fragility forming in your eyes. You swore not to cry.

“What?” Just a depthless answer you uttered.

“Growing up.” Reiner muttered. The man sounded almost contemplative in his defeat. He sighed again and shook his head, “I thought I’d be someone better by this time in my life.”

The answer surprised you. You thought he would say something like ‘Relationship is hard’ or some jargons he picked up from one of the movies he watched without you. You felt bad for undermining him just because you were upset with him. Does it really mirror your true perception of him? Maybe you really hadn’t known him that well.

You had no resolve to his statement, so you just nodded, allowing him to pour out his thoughts.

“I thought I’d be better with my job, with myself, and most importantly,” he shifted to lurch towards you on his seat, the wire strings of the swing twisted to your direction, “with the people I love. But obviously, I still… suck.”

“And here I am. 4 AM. A fucking adult on a fucking neighborhood swing-set.”

You could feel the air suctioned out of your lungs, as you felt guilt loomed bigger inside you. He came and he felt bad – what more could I ask for? But then you remembered the nights of loneliness despite having Reiner sleeping next to you. You had a bad day, but you were too prideful to come clean. You wanted him to be intuitive, but he never did. Being with Reiner, you had mastered the art of crying in silence while sharing the bed with him. It’s exhausting. Yeah, Rei, maybe you’re bad at this.

Despite that, you stayed silent.

“Will you hate me if I say I don’t know what’s wrong?” Reiner knew how daft he sounded, “God. I’m pushing my luck coming clean at you.”

You were at loss for words. You had so many things to say, but too few of a courage.

Reiner called your name. He reached over and tried to tangle one of your fingers with his. From your periphery sight, you could see him forcing a smile, “I—”

He sighed again. Reiner’s chest was filled with words and all he wanted was to vomit it out, but he never knew how to properly addressed the feelings he had—he couldn’t even describe what he felt. All he knew was one thing: he wanted you home, back in his arms, “I am a stupid man. I really don’t know what’s happening between us. You.. just.. gone. Please, just tell me what’s wrong. I’m not smart enough for all these..”

There was almost a childish plea in Reiner’s words, and you couldn’t help but to threw a faint smile. You chuckled, “What did you say? You’re—what?”

He scoffed at himself, “I am stupid.”

You finally caved in because you realized there was an undeniable genuineness in the way he spoke. And the sentiment was mutual, you felt stupid as well for you had not realized how completely, utterly, truly clueless Reiner was.

Eventually, you looked at him. His hardened face quickly turned wary to finally see how puffy your eyes were from crying earlier, you forced a smile, but it was clear you were pretending, “You make me feel so lonely sometimes.”

The words came out of your mouth like a canonball that had been stuck in your chest for too long. You felt relief, but on the other side, Reiner could feel his heart broke. A pain from a man realizing too late of the damage he had caused.

You thought of everything that had made you feel so. The way Reiner rolled over in bed away from you, drowsy and unaware, when you called him in the dead night as your anxiety kicked in; when his hand let you go as you tried to hold his hands in public; the complete non-existing mention of you in his social media; the take-outs that he mindlessly brought home when you had cooked dinner; his easiness in dropping a problem after he said sorry without checking up with you further.

It was the absent of his intuition that made you felt invisible – but you realized too late that maybe he was truly oblivious, evident as he said, “But how?”

“You really don’t know?”

“Babe,” he further tangled your fingers into his grasp. Your hand and his, they hung in the middle of the two swing seats, “I swear on my mother’s grave.”

“I’ve always thought you wanted to leave me but never got the right moment to it. The affection—I hardly ever got it from you. Not the affirming words, not the reassurance. Hell, maybe I want that public kiss and hugs that you thought was stupid, Rei. Just—”

You could feel the tears forming, choking you mercilessly, “—just to feel loved. To feel wanted. For once.”

You finally let your tears dropped. And Reiner was slapped with realities that both of you were in. He let go of your hand and stared down at the pavement, “I’m sorry. I never knew.”

“You never asked.”

“But I never knew. How am I supposed to know that I should ask when I didn’t know I should ask on the first place? I’ve always thought you wanted to be left alone when all your crazy thoughts come in—but you—”

“—you—"

Reiner groaned, obviously frustrated. He rested the blabber, “Maybe we’re just not good at this.”

Like a train, you could feel the ending coming to hit you. This is it. This is it. You thought to yourself, picturing how Reiner would finally leave you. You secretly wished Reiner wouldn’t give in, you wish he’d put up more fight, so at least you’d know that you carried a weight in his heart. But you knew this was bound to happen, so why were you so upset?

“Maybe.” You wiped your tears dry, “That’s okay, Reiner. I know that’s what I am.”

“What?”

“I’m just an embarkation point, right? Everyone will leave me eventually. That’s why I left, because I know eventually, we’ll be talking about this. So I’d better leave first.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” Reiner grew even more frustrated with the way you danced around your words.

“It’s okay if you want to leave me. That’s what all people do to me.”

“You left because you think I was planning to leave you all along?” Reiner asked, sounding painfully offended as he finally got to gather what you were insinuating, “So that is the problem?”

“Yeah, so I better leave first, right? Before I get hurt again? Before you leave me like other people and—”

“Fuck other people!” Reiner raised his voice, which he immediately regretted. He ran his fingers over his hair irritated, turning it into a complete blond mess, “Are you trying to avenge your revenge for other people—those exes you’ve had—on me?”

Tears welled up again in your eyes, as you looked away from him. But he called on your name again, this time there was a deep sternness in his call that you couldn’t help but to face him. Reiner was glad that you finally gained courage to speak the truth, when he had not, “So you want reassurance, yeah? How about the times I told you how beautiful, how smart, how great you are – only for you to tell yourself the opposite immediately.”

Reiner looked directly into your eyes, “I can’t make you something you’re not. What you are is who you think you are.”

“You can never matter – if you don’t think you do.”

An expressionless, soundless tear fell onto your cheek. A heart broke to your dismay. Reiner finally said the truth and there was no way you could delude yourself into thinking that he was wrong, “Then… why don’t you just leave me, Rei? Why don’t you get rid of me a long time ago?”

“Because I’m giving you something that I never received in my entire life, ever. I’m staying for you.” There was a palpable pain in the way Reiner spoke. He landed his finger on to your heart and you could feel it pierced through your skin with heavy realization, “I’m staying. Like no one ever did in my life. Not my ex-girlfriends, not my friends, and certainly not my father. That’s what makes us different. I have more faith in you than you have in me.”

Reiner was a man with heavy heart. He had been through a lot of things in his life, learned how to fend on for himself since very young, and dreamed of the day when he could finally put his hair down with someone he cared for. And what you hadn’t realize, was how essentially similar you were to him. How both of you longed for someone to let go of your inhibitions and fear? Just two broken people finding refuge in each other’s longing for the same thing. And that’s what you failed to see. He understood you, just in a way you didn’t understand.

And that’s the thing about pain, they are inherently personal. No matter how much you have shared yourself to others.

The two of you went dead silent for a moment. In the horizon, the sun rays were starting to emerge, the morning had arrived.  Your tears cascaded painfully slow; Reiner was looking at his feet trying to sip his tea that had gone cold. His hands were trembling with both sadness and anger that were beginning to secede.

Reiner finally called your name, this time it was delicate, “I’m sorry, alright?”

You looked at him with tears in your eyes as you nodded, “Alright.”

“Will you come home, now?”

“Yes,” you muttered, “I think I will.”

The two of you got up and Reiner immediately drew you into his chest, holding you the tightest you had ever been held, reconnecting all the broken pieces scattered inside you. You buried your face into his strong chest as you sobbed once more, while he kissed the top of your head with affection more vivid than thousands of words of affirmations.

“What do we do with these hearts, Rei?” You asked as you felt your chest throbbing with pain and love.

The man loosened his embrace and smiled, “Persevere.”

A/N:

First of all thank you so much to @okubean for giving me a hellish prompt! This one really made me faced my own abandonment issue and poured it into a writing. I tried to touch about the absent-mindedness as the implication of ADHD but I’m really worried that it doesn’t really do it justice. So hereby my sincere apologies! 😭🙏

Nonetheless, I really hope that you may enjoy this piece and I’m so sorry if it comes off as boring!

I literally drafted this on the metro, and got really carried away with it!

Did I enjoy it? (Yes)

Did this turn out longer than I expected? (Yes)

Am I worried this will bore people? (Yes)

[passingthetime]

I was tagged by @slunecny-hrob, thank you!! 🌟

Who was your first favourite artist?

Emil.RuleZ! I would say. Especially their song Bölcsidal because the chorus was about hot cocoa with whipped cream.

Who are your current favourite artists?

Blue Öyster Cult, Judas Priest and Deep Purple are my top three

Are you into musicals? Which ones?/Why not?

Eh, I can appreciate a good musical, but I don't care much for the genre as a whole. I really love Hair, The Rocky Horror Picture Show, Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog and Sweeney Todd the Demon Barber of Fleet Street

Are there songs you consider so special you only listen to them very rarely?

The only songs I listen to deliberately rarely are songs I think are good but are overplayed, like Don't Fear the Reaper or Riders on the Storm - I hear them plenty anyways, why would I pick them whene choosing music to listen to?

What’s your preferred way of listening to music? (time of day, medium, situation)

Any time I'm not supposed to be talking to people or not watching something... Generally when I don't need my hearing ability. I listen to music at work, on public transport, to sleep, while drawing, while browsing the net... Constantly. At home I listen on my mini hi-fi system otherwise I recently got wireless earbuds and I'm very pleased with them. I usually listen on Spotify, unless it's not available there, in which case I use YouTube or music downloaded on my phone.

What would you say is the most niche music you listen to?

Edge of the World by Wolf, probably. If you search Wolf, some 90s band comes up on Google, you have to type something like "Wolf NWOBHM" to find them or just search for the album, so I suppose they aren't very well known.

What’s your favourite music related movie/TV show that’s not a musical?

Velvet Goldmine!!!

Albums or playlists?

Albums for sure. Most of my playlists are just albums placed after one another with occasionally songs I would skip removed haha

Favourite albums?

Fire of Unknown Origin by BÖC, Gun by The Gun, Killing Machine by Judas Priest, Point of Entry by Judas Priest, Edge of the World by Wolf aaand The Piper at the Gates of Dawn by Pink Floyd

Is there an artist you’re trying to get into?

Not really, unless like post-Fire of Unknown Origin Blue Öyster Cult counts. I'm slowly chewing through the albums I've dismissed before.

Whose music do you find overhyped?

I'm sorry, so many of you will hate me for this but oh well, I've said it before and I'll say it again: Maneskin. Their music might be nice if you are into like modern day pop-rock, but they aren't bringing rock 'n' roll back any more than idk, Imagine Dragons (which I was also told was supposed to be rock?)

What’s an underrated song?

Cheater by Judas Priest, it's hands down the best song on Rocka Rolla, and yet it barely gets listens on Spotify.

What’s a thing a bunch of songs do that you love every time?

I hope I'm explaining this right: when they switch around between being all melancholic and going hard such as in Babe I'm Gonna Leave You by Led Zeppelin or Beyond the Realms of Death by Judas Priest.

What song is better acoustic?

I dunno, I never really listen to acoustic covers...

What’s the worst song of all time?

I don't know, I don't go out of my way searching for songs I hate.

Do you put individual songs on repeat? If so, for how long and how often?

I have Spotify on repeat in general (god forbid the music ever stop, I'd rather listen to the same thing over and over), which is fine for albums/playlists, but I'll sometimes search for a song and listen to it, and it goes on repeat and I forget to switch songs...

Do you make your own playlists? If so, what’s your most entertaining playlist title?

Sometimes. But I don't really give entertaining titles... Maybe just "sex" is the most entertaining? xD

Headphones or earbuds?

Earbuds! They are small and easy to carry around.

Do you always sing the lead vocal or do you harmonize sometimes? If you harmonize, do you ever invent your own harmony?

I don't even know how to harmonize... I either sing lead vocal or just yell the guitar riff haha

A music confession

I used to listen to Vocaloid noise music, like Watashinokoko. I was really proud of how niche that was, and honestly I still look back at some songs fondly.

I tag @psihokracija, @jiangwanyin, @0mmadawn and @green-tinted-sixties-mind if you wanna! 🍄

[lionydoorin]

thanks for the tag pyreee !! <33

nickname: ma <3 thats all i wanna be called as most of the time.. my birth name is common and it's okay i dont mind being called that rly cause its pretty but sometimes i'm like. ick

sign: sagi sun and moon, aquarius rising hehe

height: 5'5 and a half / 5'6 ?????

last thing i googled: makeup names in english cause i wanted to be sure i wasn't saying highlighter w it being the wrong word for highlighter

song stuck in my head: midnight rain by taylor swift

# of followers: 400 something ???

amount of sleep: last night i actually slept like a normal person (8 hours) but i usually dont sleep much lmao its hard for me to fall asleep

dream job: i'm in med school so :] i rly wanna become a psychiatrist or an obgyn or a neuropediatrician or an anesthesiologist!!! rly different options but i cant decide for now lmao i still got 4 years tho

wearing rn: a loose purple shirt n pink pajama shorts hehe

books/movies that summarize me: thats hard... about time is one of my all time favourite movies, but THE favourite is the empire strikes back >:] i rly like studio ghibli movies in general as well so im gonna say that, books daisy jones & the six (i live for strong, morally grey protagonists) and i dont know

favourite song(s): take me to church by hozier <3 also love story and august by taylor swift, what is love by twice (my free source of serotonin), everybody wants to rule the world by tears for fears and and aanddd thérèse by our one and only maya ray hawke

favourite instrument: to listen ? maybe piano (my dream is to learn how to play) n acoustic guitar?? i know how to play acoustic guitar but havent practiced in AGES so all i remember how to play is happy birthday to you. i also used to play bass but that was Ages ago as well so i don't remember much ://

aesthetic: i. i don't know ?? i guess i'm p much a nerd. just a mix of theatre kid with marvel and star wars fan with your dose of gifted kid burnout . clothing wise i'm rly into streetwear and a bit of sports kinda aesthetic ?? i wear a lot of sports bras cause im not out to my parents and cant afford a binder by myself, adidas sweatpants and loose t-shirts

favourite author: can. can i consider anne frank? cause the diary of anne frank changed my life in general. id not, i'm gonna say taylor jenkins reid cause i love the fame tetralogy (evelyn hugo, daisy jones, malibu rising and carrie soto) and ig i'm also gonna say rick riordan for nostalgia cause pjo is my entire childhood and i still love it dearly :] i pay more attention to the books individually so it's hard for me to decide a favourite author

random fact: i used to be in theatre……… even had a solo in one musical!!! and i also got the role of margot frank in my school's production of the diary of anne frank. this play is probably my favourite thing i've ever done; to emulate the claustrophobic feeling the frank family had during their time in the secret annex we made a huge number of presentations to smaller groups of people and when the frank family moved to the annex, the audience got up on stage w us, sat in benches around us and the curtains closed behind them. so it was a small, confined space and we had to up our acting game even more cause they could see everything more closely. it was the most intense experience i've had and it made me fall in love with art even more

sorry for the rambles lmao i talk a lot !! but ty again for the tag <3 tagging some coolio people (no pressure though!!)

@hopelessronantics @pimplepogue @robins-raspberry-beret @regalkn1ght @queer-wlw-fanatic @buckleys-babe n anyone else that wanna participate !!

15 questions, 15 people

ty for the tag @sw34terw34ther!!

nickname: technically elia is a nickname, but i’ve also had people call me el, ellie, lia, and my ex would call me ana. oh and one of my ex friends used to call me evonna kvass (it’s a long story). lucy calls me her little shot of espresso skfjskdj

sign: sagittarius

height: 5’2

last thing i googled: google translate

song stuck in my head: nothing bc i’m listening to music </3

number of followers: 5,002

amount of sleep: usually eight hours i think?

dream job: author

wearing: pink cami, jeans, green coat, converse

movies/books that summarize me: miss peregrine’s home for peculiar children (books & movie), the corpse bride, alice’s adventures in wonderland & through the looking-glass (books & movies)

favorite song: atm i think it’s london boy by taylor swift

favorite instrument: harp <33

aesthetic: literally it changes all the time, but i’m rly into the coquette aesthetic rn

favorite author: edgar allan poe

random fun fact: i’ve had to go to the er for hitting my head twice in the past few years <3

np tags: @gg-is-a-loser @prettybatgf @staygoldwriting @pxgeturner @my-my-only-angel @fyodarling @natti-ice @cherryys-stuff @arakhnee @authorofemotion @goosetheluce @cremexcoffee @marlenemckinnons @kazoosandfannypacks @duchess-of-mischief

[themangolorian]

Hi babe! I hope your having an amazing day. I'm not sure if you are doing requests and if you are writing for Poe. If you are I would like to request a little one shot where Poe thinks he is to old for the reader when he sees her with a younger pilot.

Fabiola, my love! Thank you so much for this request and for jump-starting me on my journey to writing for Poe, which I’d never done before this! I hope it’s everything you’d been wanting and more in terms of your request! It was such a good prompt, and I had so much fun writing this!

It’s Only You

Pairing: Poe Dameron x Reader

A/N: No warnings. Smidge of jealousy. Just Poe’s reaction to a small insecurity of his, quickly quashed after a meaningful, telling moment.

Words: 1.5k

“Nice flying.” You shot over at Nooban, a relatively new recruit to the Resistance.

He blushed from beneath his hair, matted as it was against his face after just having removed his flight helmet. “Not as good as you, Captain.”

You laughed. Of course not. You weren’t being arrogant. You’d just been taught by the best. You looked over to the command center where your mentor stood intently studying a data pad. Poe Dameron. He was the best. You heart grew within your chest without your permission and you felt your own cheeks warm.

“You’ll get there,” you finally replied, looking over to Nooban with a wide smile that he returned.

He was your age but green where it mattered, and you wanted to ensure you gave him all the encouragement you’d been given by your flight instructor. Poe had been strict when he needed to, but no one sang your praises higher when you did well.

“Thanks.” And there was such hope and joy in Nooban’s eyes that it brought you a sense of fulfillment.

You’d been leading drills since Poe had recommended you to the General and you’d been promoted. You fought the temptation to look over at his handsome, stoic face again. You weren’t yet sure what was brewing between you but you knew it was something and whatever it was, you knew it best no one else picked up on it for now. So you dived jovially instead back into conversation with Nooban as he tossed question after question your way, clearly beside himself at your encouragement.

                            ☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙ ‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾

Poe wasn’t fuming. He hadn’t looked up to see you, as you’d climbed out of the cockpit, bright eyes lit up in excitement, your beautiful smile wide as always after getting back from a drill or mission. He certainly hadn’t noticed the way you’d been animatedly complimenting and talking to Nooban, the new young pretty boy.

A muscle in Poe’s cheek twitched. Okay, lying to himself wouldn’t work, he’d certainly noticed all that and more.

He noticed Nooban’s cheeks flushed with heat at the way you were drowning Nooban with compliments. More than anything he noticed how seamless your interaction with Nooban was. You and Nooban looked almost a couple from this distance, young and in love.

Poe resisted the urge to roll his eyes at himself. Only a few years your senior, he wondered if it was his experience, long as it was with the Resistance - he hadn’t been much more than a child when he’d began piloting - that made him feel older than his years. Or whether it was Nooban’s greenery that made him feel so outdated. Either way, reasonable or not, Poe felt inadequate for you next to Nooban’s clear charm and easy smiles.

Poe outwardly shook his head at himself now as he attempted to read the same line on the data pad in front of him for the third time. He was being silly. There was nothing going on between you and himself anyway; sometimes wayward longing looks and smiles were just that, nothing more. He didn’t get a chance to finish his thought or reading the line because suddenly a finger was poking him teasingly in the side.

                           ☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙ ‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾

Finally, finally, Nooban had taken his leave to go wash up before it was time for supper. Leaving you alone in the hangar with the object of your affection: Poe. Who had been too distracted with his work to notice you. He jumped when you poked his side, looking almost irritated as he glanced sideways. For a moment, his gaze softened when his deep brown eyes saw that it was just you. Then something hardened the corners of his eyes and mouth again as he looked away from you.

“Status update on the new pilots?” Poe’s tone now was standard only for when others were around. This was his work voice. His Wing Commander voice.

You glanced around wonderingly, looking for anything indicating the two of you were not alone as you’d thought. When you realized you were indeed alone, you couldn’t help the hurt that rushed to the features of your face as it fell. What had happened, you wondered.

When you didn’t respond, Poe finally tore his gaze away from the data pad to look at you again, and whatever he saw on your face seemed to crumble his resolve, whatever its root.

The data pad clattered as he placed it down on the workspace; he turned to you. His own features had softened again and he raised his hand as if to take your wrist but thought better of it and took the tracking data pod gently out of your hand instead.

“How did it go?” He asked finally, his voice much softer than before, but you could no longer meet his gaze.

You cleared your throat. “All cadets passed Drills One through Three. Cadet Bwel failed Drills Four and Five; I sent him to Snap for individualized training.” You spoke succinctly and though you tried to keep emotion from your voice, you knew it quavered anyway.

You’d been so happy to be back, excited at the prospect of Poe’s reaction to your training. This was the first training session of yours he’d been able to sit all the way through on, tracking your progress and the progress of your cadets.

You hoped your dejection did not show. But suddenly, a warm finger was at your chin, and you let him lift your face so you were looking back up into his eyes.

“I’m sorry,” he said immediately, genuine regret running deep in his words and in his eyes. His thumb came up to rub just beneath your lips and then he was dropping his hand.

You opened your mouth to speak, but he beat you to it, and there was warmth in his gaze as he spoke, his words rushed with excitement.

“You did great, better than any of them projected! I told them.” The way he was gazing down at you proudly made your heart nearly burst, though a pinprick of worry still found its way into your head. “General Leia told them too,” he promised you suddenly, and his mouth broke into that wide, easy grin that always made you fall apart, made you weak at the knees. “I can’t wait to tell her.”

His smile was infectious; you smiled widely back. “I-…”

You wondered what it was that had him so troubled. You knew him better than he must have thought you did. Despite his grin and his warmth and the clear affection in his eyes, you could see the slight pinch of his brow, the barely there tilt of his head, that told you something was still off.

“Thank you,” you finally managed, reaching a hand out before you could stop it to grasp his, squeezing it warmly.

He seemed to falter but squeezed back. Both of you seemed frozen in the moment, as if unsure whether to release your grips or tighten them.

“What’s wrong-“ You started at the same time that he began to ask “Was Nooban alright back there-“

Interrupting each other worked only to cause a lull in the conversation again, and you felt his hand beginning to slip out of yours. But at that moment, everything seemed to click into place for you. Your smile, wide and bright, was unperturbed by dark thoughts this time as you tightened your grip around his hand so he could not escape your hold.

Nooban. You thought the name almost gleefully. Why an actual legend of a pilot should be intimidated in any way by a brand new recruit was beyond you, but you exhaled in relief as you tugged Poe’s hand so he had no choice but to fall towards you, clearly not expecting the pull.

You released his hand so you could melt into him as your arms wound their way around his waist. You’d never hugged him so brazenly in a public space before where any one could happen upon you, but now that you knew why he’d been grumpy and still high on the success of your training, you couldn’t help yourself.

At first, Poe was stiff as you wrapped your arms around him, but slowly, almost hesitantly, and seemingly without choice, he began to melt into you too, as he rested his chin on the top of your head and wrapped his arms tentatively around you.

“It’s you.” You murmured into his flight jacket. His whole body tensed, then- his grip around you tightened. “It’s only you.” You supplied the words easily. Never had you said something so heartfelt.

You felt him kiss the top of your head almost roughly and closed your eyes in pleasure. No, you didn’t fully yet know what was building precariously between you and Commander Dameron, but it was higher already than you cared to climb down from, not that you would ever want to. And no green pilot who’d barely just passed his drills was going to get between that.

                           ☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙ ‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾

Poe breathed in your scent, reveling in the softness of you between his arms. He could be so stupid sometimes. Hard-headed, as you’d taken to calling him at times. It’s only you, you’d said. How you seemed to always read his mind he never knew. What he did know was that he wouldn’t…couldn’t...trade you for anything…not even the whole galaxy.

Forever Tag List (please let me know if you’d like to be added/removed): @lesqui @beskars @rosetophighlander @dyn-djarin @keeper0fthestars @mrsparknuts @hiscyarika @watsonwise @scarlettwitcher @murdermewithbooks @adlerorzel-blog @tiffdawg @starwarsiscooliguess @opheliaelysia @ezraslittlebirdie @luphers @madadlorian @beyoncesdragon @theocatkov @benedrylcumbersnatch @love-of-fandoms @thea-cartier @crazy-kat-in-the-hat

masterlist

[christowhore]

PLEASE READ THIS! PLEASE READ THIS!..

P. S::this is NOT hate, I just want my voice to be heard because I am a victim and feel highly triggered by these posts. I understand that you have warnings for it but it doesn't make what you're doing any better. Even if you don't answer this ask and keep it in your inbox or most likely, delete it, I just want you to read it and try to understand where I'm coming from, you're a grown woman and should come to terms with your problems

ACTUAL ASK BELOW

Hey, could you explain to me why you write about rape/noncon. I'm sure as hell that it doesn't help readers who have been through rape come to terms with it, reading a psychopath Steve forcing his dick in you doesn't help anything. And no rape victim would want to remember a time in their life when they were forced to have sex against their will. It is so utterly disgusting to watch people send likes and comment gross stuff under those posts. Obviously, they find pleasure and thrill in it, if those posts where for the sake of rape victims they wouldn't be written like that or, they wouldn't even be there. Y'all are the same people that preach about giving victim's justice and bla bla bla but here u r disrespecting and violating them more than anyone else. DO BETTER!

hello natalie, i’m just gonna assume you meant to send this ask anonymously but forgot to click it since that’s what you did last night when you sent it in to a bunch of other writers. i truly think it’s wild how you’re telling dark fics writers what they should and shouldn’t be writing when you are coming on here typing this. don’t you think you should be practicing what you preach babe?

YOU are the one that’s being demanding. nobody is holding a gun to your head to read what we write. i can’t think of a single writer on this platform who writes dubcon/noncon works that don’t tag their works. most of the time it’s in big and bold letters TELLING you what the theme is as well as telling you to read at your own risk. YOU are the curator behind your reading consumption. YOU choose what YOU want to read. you don’t want to read it? move tf along !

look i’m sorry that you have gone through a traumatic event, and i wish i could take that pain away from you. i’m truly sorry that you have gone through it. but a lot of people have as well, including myself. it’s been a known thing, numerous articles have been made about it, that some individuals find a bit of relief when it comes to reading and writing dark materials like dubcon/noncon. it’s a way to help them cope. it might not be the best way to handle the situation for yourself, but it is for other people. you cannot under any circumstances tell people how to process their own trauma.

yes i am a grown woman, and yes i’ve come to terms with my own “problems”. and i’ve been able to handle the things that occurred in my past the best way FOR MYSELF, by reading and writing dark fics. you do not like it, i have a easy solution for you. go to general settings, click on filtering, and put in that you don’t want to see dark fics (ex: dark!steve, dark!bucky etc.) it’s that simple. the filtering on this hell hole app is one of the best.

if you want more information in regards to dark content, here is a wonderful post made including some articles on why writers write about the subject.

as a gentle reminder for people about my account: you are responsible for your own media consumption. i will mark all of my works with their respective warnings. viewer discretion is advised.