#i'm not supposed to do the intro until i finish the chapters

[gravehags]

i've written one (1) page of my capstone introduction. my mind...

[stesierra]

Writeblr ReIntro!

I'm posting a new intro because now that I've been on Writeblr a little while, I realize how much information I left out! Hi, I'm Stephanie, I live in the desert with my husband and baby and three cats, and I'm an ace, bipolar fantasy writer! When I was a kid, they said I had ADHD but then I got my Masters degree in biology, so they claim I can't have it. Online tests say I'm probably autistic.

I used to write sci fi twelve years ago but only low tech sci fi about weird aliens, which nobody likes. Now I write fantasy novels! Lots of fantasy novels! I am beginning to post them on my website so if you want to read them, please keep an eye on this post.

My books often but not always have some romance (either m/f or f/f because I prefer female protagonists.) Since I'm ace (and demiromantic), my interpretation of romance and attraction is not exactly what you'd expect from, say, a romance novel.

I am not going to tell you about all my books! I've written eighteen! Four of them are shelved forever! Here's some recent ones (written or revised since 2018) that I haven't given up on. Please ask me questions about them! I LOVE talking about my books! Also, if you want to be added to my taglist for writing samples let me know! Please also tell me if you're interested in alpha or beta reading and for which book! Mutuals only, please!

My books are beneath the cut! As I add WIP intros, I'll update this list with links.

Cast Out

YA fantasy! On her sixteenth birthday, Zisha is cast out of the Plenary Cities for the crime of being born deaf, like her grandmother before her. In the wastelands, she meets Thesil, a depressed and bitter young woman. Zisha wants nothing to do with her — until she sees Thesil's face in a vision. But before she can find out what the visions mean or reach her grandmother's holdings in the wastes, the plague returns to the Plenary Cities. If the disabled really caused the plague thirty years ago, and were cast out to stop the spread, how can it be back when all of them are outcast?

Status: Finished. Being serialized.

WIP intro here.

Now being serialized here. First five chapters up, one posted weekly.

The Bone Queen

This is my NA fantasy about the aftermath of freeing an undead queen and her skeleton army. They take over the kingdom, of course! The main character, Elise, is trapped in Bandrum palace by Aubrey, the ghost who tricked her into falling in love and freeing him (plus everyone else.) He's an animated skeleton now with plans to marry Elise and force her to carry his children. The bone queen has promised him she'll make it happen. Too bad no one cares what Elise wants. If only she had magic of her own...

Status: undergoing a rewrite after developmental edit. Was 109k before revisions. Not available for beta reading.

Draft number? Hahahaha. It has two complete sequels (The Spellbound King (106k) and The Matriarch's Daughter (96k)) I must also rewrite. This series is going to kill me but I love it. My mom, who loves everything I write, complained that it was weird. I'm very proud.

WIP intro here.

First chapter here.

School of Souls

This is my YA contemporary fantasy about a boarding school in the Bighorn Mountains! It's supposed to be a place parents can send "bad" teens to have their problems sorted out, but secretly the founder is using it to train the kids as sorcerers. Even more secretly, the school devours the souls of the students sent there, and the teenagers who graduate aren't the same as the ones who arrived... Warning: does include teenage addiction to sleeping pills and ghosts and and parental death. It's going to have sequels but I haven't written them yet.

Status: Complete first draft. 83k. Available for alpha reading.

WIP intro here.

First chapter here.

The Many-faced Princess

This is YA fantasy with a historical vibe but set in a made up world. Vaguely inspired by ancient Phoenicia. It's about Princess Ameryi, who was blessed by the genderless trickster god, Akihel, to be able to change her face. If her father the king ever found out, he'd have to execute her, of course. Akihel is just plain evil. All the other gods say so. A daughter who's their champion? Impossible. An abomination. So Ameryi will just have to make sure her father never finds out. That was easier to do before the Asirtinsa Empire threatened to invade and her father sent her to secure an alliance with a neighboring king. She's supposed to marry him. Not steal his face and frame him for murder. But sometimes plans just don't work out.

This book was supposed to be about two lesbian princesses who frame the king for murder so they can elope, but both princesses decided to be ace and there was nothing I could do.

Status: Complete first draft. 83k. It's going to have sequels but I haven't written them yet. Available for alpha reading.

First chapter here.

Map here.

Court Phoenix

This is my NA fantasy! Kerra is a blacksmith's apprentice. Not because she wants the job, but because her mother sold her future to him when she was still a toddler who crawled into live fires and giggled as the flames consumed her clothes. Now she's a woman, trapped by the expectations of her family and her village. Until one day, a phoenix crash-lands and dies in her arms. When it's reborn, it chooses Kerra as its keeper. Soon, her dreary future is swept away. A princess from Skyfire, the moving city, offers her a job in the royal court. How could Kerra refuse? Her family's claims that she'll die if she ever leaves the village are just manipulative lies. Aren't they?

Status: Complete third draft. 104k. Available for beta reading.

First chapter here.

The Revenant Trilogy

Adult fantasy. Solving a murder should bring good fortune, but all it brings Mindral Thideet is disaster. Her fame and peaceful life as head researcher at the city of knowledge end abruptly. In retaliation for her investigation into his crimes, Payar Cheref, the head of the powerful Cheref family, burns her beloved cousins alive and scars her face. The scar marks her as a revenant, a body possessed by a godkin, one of the gods' evil children. Her life as a researcher is over. All that's left is revenge.

No one believes her when she denies that godkins have any power over her. But godkins, real ones, are far closer than she realizes. Tearing down Payar Cheref could destroy Mindral, her family, and the nation itself.

-The Halfway Revenant (rewriting draft 4) 120k. Not available for beta reading.

-The Soul-Seer (draft 2) - 130k

-The Godkin's Gambit (draft 2) 121k

First chapter here.

As Immortality Fades

Adult fantasy. Five hundred years ago, one of the immortal and unpredictable Valteifur visited the kingdom of Kathild and granted the young queen Nelone immortality. But there was a catch. She'd live forever, youthful and strong, just so long as her subjects were happy. For centuries, she's met her part of the deal. But when the Valteifur returns to check on her progress, he grants her a new gift: the resurrection of every single person in Kathild who's died in the last two hundred years. Then he disappears.

There aren't enough houses for them all. There's not enough food. And winter is here.

Status: Complete first draft. 98k. Available for alpha reading.

Bi MC, enemies to lovers.

First chapter here.

Stitches and Memories

This one's adult fantasy. Antea's father ripped her mind apart, left her for dead, and vanished twelve years ago, and she's going to find out why. But when constables try to kill her and strange truth magic grows inside of her, hunting her father starts to look like suicide. Too bad going home isn't an option.

Status: I exchanged this with a critique partner and now it embarrasses me. Fourth draft. 122k. Available for beta reading.

Trigger warning: magic seizures

First chapter here.

WIP intro here.

Triangle Park

Contemporary Fantasy. I have no idea who it's for. An elf exiled to the middle of nowhere ends up stuck with an unexpected child. It's about reluctant parenting and protecting the needy. And elves and faeries slumming it in a mobile home.

Status: Complete first draft. 86k. Available for alpha reading.

First chapter here.

Mud-Child

Adult fantasy. Rebeka has always heard that a woman who goes through menopause loses her spark (the magic that lets her create children). If she's had children, it just makes the neighbors a little more fertile. But Rebeka never wanted a man, and she never wanted to raise a child. Not since her twin sister died and her beloved Suza left her for a man. The problem is, the spark leaves a childless woman differently, everyone says. A bitter hag? She'll curse her neighbors. A sweet dim biddie? She'll give her spark to inanimate objects and create a monster. Rebeka doesn't know which she is, but she believes it's a myth.

That was before the clay in her clay pit woke up and called her mother.

Status: Third draft. 109k. Needs a rewrite! Not available for beta reading.

First chapter here.

WIP intro here.

I GUESS I'M WRITING A NEW BOOK

The Giant's Gamble

First chapter here.

I started writing this on Friday the 13th, 2023. LET'S SEE HOW LONG IT TAKES TO WRITE WITH A BABY.

Short stories

The Unfamous Dead

VERY OLD CRAP

The Scribe and the Sphinx

Adult historical fantasy

Status: second draft. Shelved for good. 85k.

The Adrift series

The River's Drift. 100k.

The Waking Mountain. 106k.

Low-tech alien sci fi. Shelved for good.

My first book whose name I forget. About 50k. Exists only as a hard copy in my parents' house.

Taglist so far (tell me if you want to be added or removed)

Tag list for everything

@harleyacoincidence

@anonymousfoz

@moremysteriesthantragedies

@elizababie

@sm-writes-chaos

@bellascarousel

@the-dragon-chronicler

@teacupsandstarlight

@vorskra

@wrenofthewords

@amostdelectablescribbler

@mysticstarlightduck

@phantommill

@gracewritesbooks

@aziz-reads

@owlsandwich

@symbioticsimplicity

@squarebracket-trick

@koala2all

@rmgrey-author

@atomatowriter

@cheerfulmelancholies

@delusionisaplace

@janec23

@writing-is-a-martial-art

@authortango

Just chapters and snippets

@da-na-hae

For The Many-faced Princess

@deadlyessencewhispers

@serenanymph

The Halfway Revenant

@acertainmoshke

For Stitches and Memories

@space-writes

@acertainmoshke

The Bone Queen

@janec23

@holdmyteaplease

@digital-chance

@thecrookedwriterspath

@tea-and-mercury

@coven-archives

I love you all!

[justkissmewip]

I read the intro post about this project and I was so curious, but before jumping in and reading the demo I decided to see the character post for A. And my excitement immediately died.

AI? Really?

I'm not opposed to the concept of AI alone, but right now it's just so deeply unethical. The ecological impact, the thousands and thousands of artists whose work was stolen and used to train those algorithms, sometimes leading to almost 1:1 copies of their creative work being produced and used for profit by someone else - those are all issues that are often discussed in creative spaces.

And even if you don't care about all that - how are your readers supposed to trust you? How are they supposed to trust that you're actually making what you're saying you're making instead of just feeding prompts to AI?

There are just so many ethical alternatives and some of them are even free. You could commission an artist. You could look through some archives for free use vintage illustrations of schools like the one you have in your header. You could use picrew for the character portraits to have that visualisation without reaching for AI. Some IF authors just find face claims among actors and celebrities.

It's just disappointing to see someone who's a part of this beautiful, vibrant, and creative group that is the IF writing community, use inventions that currently hurt artists all over the world.

Hmm, okay, this is a heavy one! Ha-ha, a post like this is definitely a good way to wake me up in the morning.

I want to apologize to artists on this forum (well, and all artists everywhere) for using AI art. I did it with no ill-will; I simply wanted a placeholder in the meantime so that readers could get an idea of what these characters look like. AI is a great tool for people who do not have the funds or access to other materials. But, this person makes some great points - there is a lot of uncertainty around AI, such as legality, and particularly the point about AI chatbots being trained using artists work without their permission. I really don't want to cause anyone harm, nor do I want to get into trouble honestly, so I'm going to stop using AI images from now on.

However, I do not appreciate the implication that using AI art is an automatic indication that I am using AI to generate my story and am no longer trustworthy. Writing interactive fiction is a lot of work, as I'm sure many of you know, and I take it very seriously. I want to produce the best product possible of course! So, rest assured that ChatGPT isn't currently churning out the next chapter of JKM. It wouldn't write Sawyer right anyways ;)

Art is not cheap, which makes a lot of sense, because artists deserve to be paid adequately for their work. So, I'm not going to look into art assets too much now until JKM is close to being finished, which is probably not any time soon if I'm being honest. I would rather wait and get some quality work that I think suits the characters then use anything else, especially since I personally imagine the characters in a more comic-book/anime style anyways. I apologize for that! But, the imagination is much better than any AI images I would have uploaded anyways.

To all artists, again, I am sorry! I appreciate and respect your hard work and efforts. I look forward to working with some of you as JKM progresses and I need to commission some art. Because trust me when I say I am not artistically inclined at all :).

To the person who wrote this, thank you for your great points. I can appreciate your passion about protecting artists. Hopefully you can give JKM another chance despite this setback.

Cheers,

Lucky

[somniumfaults]

omg omg i finally finished reading ep 7 of tkdb and it was SOOOOOO GOOD. yuri and jiro are obviously sweethearts and i would die for them.

spoilers for ep 7

i also SCREAMED at haku calling the mc princess bfdhkqakfsdjhjgkl..... like, i had already seen it online! i knew it was gonna happen!!!!! but still ghdfksjk; he's not even my fave but he's so SWOON worthy.

the scene where it's revealed that jiro is zenji's brother was also so :( i kinda wish we had gotten more but also i'm happy with what we do have. i Do wish i could have experienced it raw but. cest la vie or whatever the french say. ZENJI GETTING SAD JIRO DOESN'T KNOW HE STILL EXISTS MADE ME SO SAD THO. LET THEM MEET!!! LET THEM REUITE!!!!!! HAKU WHAT ARE YOU DOING!! (being responsible probably but still. kicks him!! useless!!!)

i also totally saw dante approving of the gala from like, a mile away. prof nicolas had me scared for a moment but we've seen hyde call dante out wayyyy too many times for being a softie for me to think he wouldn't agree to it. HYDE ON THE OTHER HAND.... i think its reallly interesting to see them start to more obviously lean into the nature of "hyde" being the more nefarious side of jekyll. i have my doubts that they'll ever do anything so blatant as a personality change, but i do suppose i could see them sort of using it as it is already? or well, in the sense that the name reference is less so something to imply a future personality change, as most series would probably do, and more-so just an indication of hyde's two faced nature.

a part of me honestly is starting to wonder if all the ghouls up until now have been red herrings... maybe hyde is the one who is the spy after all. i honestly wouldn't be surprised, and since he's giving out "special missions" i suppose it could also lend itself to the other ghouls feeling guilt over their actions bc they know for a fact they're being shady. also: see sho saying that he's the only man for the job during his introduction could be a reference to the fact that hyde was the one behind everything and as his brother, he's the most fit for the job of taking him on. of course, this is a super flimsy defense for the theory lol bc there are so many other ghouls who kind of phrase their intros as holding responsibility for taking care of whatever disaster is happening during the intro but. still. i think its possible!!!!

OH. AND HOW COULD I FORGET JIN STEPPING IN FOR THE MC WHEN TAIGA WAS BEING A LIL BITCH AT THE AUDITORIUM. he's so tsun and cute hgkjfklsjdlk; "noooo i totally didn't do it for you" ass.... the idea of taiga and jin duking it out is actually sooooo cool and sexy. i went SO WILD during the comic scene where they were staring each other down and debating the amount of money bc it was just so cool....

i'm also super curious about the dynamic btwn romeo and hyde bc i... will not lie it really sounds like romeo is being taken advantage of. i mean, maybe that's just stating the obvious LOL but honestly despite romeo's brattiness (affectionate), i can't help but feel bad for the dude because that whole interaction just screamed "i'm way out of my depth even if i don't realize it". i'm really looking forward to the next chapter and getting to see more of sinostra and their dynamic

[sarandipitywrites]

dead roots, dark water for the ask game :3c

ABSOLUTELY.

so the WIP intro is here if you want the long version. the short version is: dark jak AU.

i started this one because i replayed tpl for the first time in like 15 years and accidentally Reawakened the Special Interest. it was supposed to be a short thing until it... wasn't. and somehow it went from 'a fun story about this thing i loved when i was a kid' to '300-ish page existential trainwreck clusterfuck about trauma and loss and learning to forgive yourself for not being the same person anymore' and i'm not sure how it got here but hey i'm having a great time :) and i'm almost done with the second draft edit (on pause until nano is over), so maybe the finished thing will see the light of day in spring sometime (assuming i'm very persistent and can keep the other plot bunnies at bay long enough)

thanks for the ask and listening to me rant 💜 for your suffering, have an excerpt from chapter 2:

This was fine. It was. They’d shared Jak’s bed in Uncle’s loft for… six years? Seven? Right up until the KG had taken Jak away. And it’d been fine. But in all those years, the tiny, animal part of Daxter’s brain had never been convinced that Jak was going to go cuckoo for cluckatoos in the middle of the night and shred him into confetti. Which he wasn’t. Jak’d had plenty of chances to maim him, and hadn’t taken a single one. Not in the prison, before he’d realized Daxter wasn’t a hallucination. Not when he’d killed the prison guards. Not any of the times Daxter had touched him without thinking, when any rational person would’ve stayed the hell away. Because Jak was Jak, and Jak wouldn’t hurt him. He also wouldn’t sleep, apparently. Jak, still in his street clothes, lay at the very edge of the bed with his back to Daxter. A minor earthquake would have sent him tumbling to the floor. Every few minutes he tilted his head to watch something else. The door. The window. The door, again. Which was ridiculous. Babak Village was the safest place on the Haven Peninsula. There was nothing to be— Daxter bit down on his tongue. His chest burned, bile rose to inflame his lungs. He shut his eyes against it. Jak was the brave one. He’d always been the brave one. The mattress creaked. Indigo eyes watched him, luminescent in the magma’s faint glow. “Yeah, definitely keep doing that. ‘S not creepy at all.” “How long?” Jak signed small, close to his chest. No-context questions. That was something to get used to again. “Two years. Three months. Twelve days.” Since Daxter had climbed out Thad’s window, leaving Jak behind. Since he’d run into the jungle, had gone home alone, had waited five whole days before even trying to leave Sandover— “Thanks. For saving me.” Daxter’s mouth dried and his eyes burned. He didn’t dare reply out loud. “You already said that,” he signed. “Can’t say it enough.” Fuck. What was he supposed to say to that? ‘Didn’t have a choice, turns out my life sucks without you’? “Well, we can just add it to the life-debt you owe me and call it good. Twenty years sound fair?” The corner of Jak’s lips curled into a smile. “Got to be at least two or three life-debts deep with you, by now.” “Two hundred forty-three years, but who’s counting?”

[mxgicthot]

Chapter 0 - the fool

Haleth tries to investigate her cryptic nightmares and Asra knows more than he's letting on.

Tw : A brief mention of blood and gore

A/N : This was supposed to be Haleth's intro to Muriel's route rewrite but I don't think I will ever finish it so I'm just posting what I have here.

The atmosphere was darker than in my previous dream. Here in the Lazaret, under the black trees. A terrible place that holds so much mystery and dark energy, I feel drawn to it. As painful as these dreams are, I need to explore them to find answers. 

I walked along the white sands, the straight path seemed longer this time.  Further I come across a field of corpses, asprawl in pools of congealing blood. Some had lost limbs, even heads. I took a deep breath and reminded myself that I need to do this, if I ever wanted to gain my memories back. 

I carry on walking, trying to ignore the horrors before me, the deformed bodies scattered along the shore with red bugs crawling out of them. Tears began to run down my face, blinding me as I continued to pace through the endless amount of trees and brush, I tripped over a root that seemed to rise up by itself to stop my breathless run. I struggled to get back onto my feet. 

It was getting harder to put one foot in front of the other. They were coming. I could feel the dark smokey energy that radiated from them, following and watching my every move. It would never stop chasing me. Whenever I get close to remembering something, they would come out of the shadows and block my way. 

Faster and faster the visions came to me, one after the other, until it seemed as if the very air had come alive. Shadows whirled and danced around me, boneless and terrible. A little girl ran barefoot toward a big house with an arched door... A tiger ran through grass taller than a man. A woman with rotting flesh appeared in front of me, half of her hair was gone and the rest is white and brittle. She extended a hand reaching out to me. 

"No stop…please make it stop!"  I screamed, sobbing into the empty forest around me. Suddenly I felt as if I was being grabbed by both of my shoulders and shaken. Panicking, I tried to push away this new invisible threat. "Let go of me!''

Haleth opened her eyes to see Asra above her. Asra, her mentor - and friend, she reminded herself, as he always reminded her when she tried to call him anything else. His eyes were full of worry and distress. Blinking at the bright light and trying to focus. She sat up fast and felt a sharp pain against her temples, her migrans were returning. 

"WAKE UP! " A loud and familiar voice broke though the darkness, bringing a stream of light to cover me. "Please, come back." The voice was much calmer and softer now. A hand seems to come from the light beckoning me to grab. Hesitantly I grabbed it. It pulled me towards the light and I woke up. 

Asra's fluffy white hair stuck in every direction, which was usually a sign that he had just woken up. "Mmm, Asra?" she asked groggily as she met his gaze and stretched her arms, trying to lighten the stress of the situation. 

His eyes narrowed as he sighed, shifting back a little so she could sit up, carefully watching her movements. "Hey!” Asra started, running his hand through his messy curls. “Are you alright?" 

He reached out instinctively, his hands stopping just short of cradling Haleth's face  “Your… your head. Is it…?”

Haleth gave a small, firm shake of her head "I'm fine. It's just a mild pain." 

Sitting on the edge of the bed, he looked so tired. She gently placed her hand on his arm, "I'm sorry master, I didn't mean to wake you… I had to try again."

Haleth's memories were lost three years ago in a terrible accident, — or at least that is what she was told. She remembers nothing of her past, but lately her dreams have been getting more vivid, more intense and cryptic, and when she woke she was plagued by intense migraines. 

Asra features softened, "Oneiromancy is dangerous when done unsupervised, you know that."

"— It also allows you to gain deep insight into knowledge the dreams may possess…�� Haleth looked straight at him, forcing her gaze to not stray even the tiniest bit from his. ”And understand secrets that are kept consciously hidden." she continued, whispering the last part knowing well that what she was doing was risky. 

As her dreams started to become clearer Haleth began to try and look for clues by revisiting her dreams via oneiromancy. It was difficult at first but it was the only way she could learn more without triggering bad headaches. 

He sighed and gently brushed his hand over her cheek to wipe away her dried tears. "You have grown so much. I don't want you to get hurt." 

“I always have nightmares, especially when you are gone”. She didn’t mean for it to come out as harsh as it did, but it was the truth. “They are not as frequent anymore, I need to know their meaning.” she sighed, avoiding Asra's gaze.

His hands fell from her face, and she heard the hurt in his voice. “Forcefully triggering them will only make them worse.”

Haleth felt something soft brushed her arm, and she glanced down to see Mau her familiar, the little tabby cat looked up at her. It put its paw on her arm, and slowly blinked. "Oh look, Mau's finally awake." 

"Haleth, stop deflecting." 

“I know what I'm doing. Trust me.” She kept petting Mau, and the cat eventually laid her head on Haleth's lap, huffing contentedly. “I feel like I'm getting closer to discovering something important.”

They both fell into silence, the sound of the cat purring filled the room. She has always been grateful to Asra for taking care of her when she was unable to care for herself, but she couldn’t not help the feeling that he was keeping secrets from her. 

When it seemed like Mau was asleep in her lap, Haleth looked up at Asra. He was watching her with a distant look in his eyes.

“You're right, there is something on the horizon. I’m afraid that…” He trailed off, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth.

"What are you afraid of?" she asked, staring at him intently, silently hoping that this was the moment where he would open up. 

"I didn't have my morning tea yet, would you like some?" 

Haleth rolled her eyes at him, "Now you're deflecting." 

The only answer Asra had to this direct, pointed jab was a sheepish half-smile and a shake of his head. “Or I’m trying to prevent another one of your headaches.”

"Come on, there's something l need to tell you." 

[heartbreak-sandwich]

2, 5, & 11 for Animal Magnetism?

Thank you sm Joz! 💕 I love getting asks for these 🥰 Ask game here! Read Animal Magnetism here!

2: What scene did you first put down? Honestly, that one was written from start to finish with minimal planning, so the first scene was the first chapter. I actually never planned for it to go further than that, but someone requested a part two, and it just kept going until I was like -- okay, I'm going to let people fuck him after all that buildup, it would be cruel to deny us that lmao.

5: What part was the hardest to write? There are two answers to this: the first hardest part was the intro to the smut, so the oral scene, just because I wasn't (and I'm still not really) used to writing smut, but the rest came naturally (wink wink). And the second hardest part was the ending because I always get so excited to post my fics and chapters that I think I kind of rush the endings, and it didn't totally close off, but I think it's a good learning experience for next time!

11: What do you like best about this fic? I think my favorite part is just Billy being Billy. Originally, it was supposed to be more of a subby Billy, but I couldn't resist him maintaining his cunty vibes because that's really something I love about him that makes him interesting to write -- plus the tension that created with the reader was just *chef's kiss* to me, idek.

[stonewallsposts]

December Reading   

Jude The Obscure- Thomas Hardy (1896)  

Jude the Obscure is a novel about a common man. The intro says it was the first novel with a lower-class lead character. I don't buy that, but anyway, his lack of standing is the reason why the character, Jude Fawley, is called Jude the Obscure- he's a nobody.  

The novel traces his life from boyhood dreams of making something of himself to a rather tragic ending.  

Wives and Daughters- Elizabeth Gaskell (1866)  

This is a nearly 600-page novel that was never completed by the author, for a forgivable excuse; she died. But she got close... and there is a final chapter added that gives some closure to the story.  

The novel concerns Molly Gibson, a young girl, grown to a woman during the story. As she is 17, one of her father's interns falls in love with her and wants to declare his love. Dad, a widower, heads this off at the pass but vows to take some steps to make sure Molly is properly instructed. He takes a wife who, while pretty and graceful, turns out to be rather vapid. The new wife, Clare, brings a daughter, Cynthia, (about Molly's age) to the house as well. Molly and Cynthia become friends. But the story is centered around their relationships. It is filled with humorous observations, and insights into what life was like at that time.   

Wide Sargasso Sea- Jean Rhys (1966)  

This is a prequel to Charlotte Bronte's Jane Eyre, describing the background to Mr Rochester's first marriage to the mad woman, Bertha. Wikipedia calls the book a post-colonial and feminist outlook. I can't say I loved the book; it has a different feel, kind of dreamy in a way, that I didn't really relate to. But all in all, I thought it was an interesting endeavor. Part of me thought that the author took a lot of liberties in assigning traits to Rochester and the Englishmen, but on the other hand, Jane Eyre was a fictional story itself, so it's not like one could claim that these assignments were based in reality. All the traits of all the characters were made up, so why couldn't Rhys assign motives that would explain Bertha in a more sympathetic light?   

Rhys does seem to portray Bertha in a sort of madness, but given the background Rhys paints, one can be sympathetic to Bertha rather than dismissive. I suppose one could, if one were so inclined, take this prequel and add it to the original story to make up a sort of canonical understanding. I can't bring myself to do that. I think it's an interesting take on Bertha, but I can't bring myself to think about it as anything more than that. Perhaps because I've come to love Jane Eyre, I'm reluctant to add these details to my understanding... I dunno. But I just read it for what it is: someone else's take on possibilities. I don't know if anyone else takes it as a more realistic version of Bertha. That would be an interesting thing to know.  

A Christmas Carol- Charles Dickens (1843) 

A story we all know, but which I'd never actually read. Like all Dickens’ books I've read so far, this one doesn't disappoint.  

I also started into Giuseppe Tomasi di Lampedusa’s Il Gattopardo, but won’t finish it until January. I’ll confess I’ve had a hard time getting into this one, despite the fact that it is about Sicily at the time of the Risorgimento (Italian Unification). 

[mariyekos]

Alright well it's going!

We'll see how long I can carry this one. I'm a bit uncertain (befuddled is the first word that came to mind tbh) on how I want to structure it though. This fic is supposed to be from Dante's POV, but I was going to include a short intro from Nero's POV. I started writing it, finished it, then decided I wanted to flesh it out, and 5k words later I'm not really sure *where* in the narrative it would fit.

Do I keep the original prologue and then include everything else I'm writing later? Would it be weird to only have a single additional Nero chapter later on? Do I add more Nero chapters?

I guess I'll figure it out as I go depending on how I feel. I will say it's been fun trying to flesh out Fortuna's belief systems, naming systems, etc. as well as Nero's life at the Orphanage. Hopefully I'll have a place for this stuff in the finished fic. This is probably another one I won't publish until I'm either done or almost done. It definitely is not coming out this month.

Oh god. I just realized tomorrow's November. As in, that month in which you write 50,000 words. I...did not prepare.

The NaNo people have embraced AI so I'm not going to do anything official (I never have), but I DID kind of want to participate. What to do, what to do! I do have two or three longfic ideas that I haven't touched so I could theoretically go for one of those if I wanted to focus on one fic. I hit 52k in January and 72k in May so it's not like I haven't had other NaNo level months this year to sort of...look back on with pride, or whatever.

But oh boy. NaNo season. What to dooooooo!

[soratsuart]

Sentient Protagonist AU - Chapter 2

Hi, everyone! Guess who's finally finished writing the second chapter? I'm sorry for the wait, but hopefully the length will make up for it (this one is considerably longer than the last one). Also, you can now find this AU in AO3 with the name of "Sentience", too!

Having said that, I hope you enjoy! P.S.: Apologies for any grammar mistakes, English is not my first language.

“Can you… hear me?”

Luke waited anxiously, looking at the character on screen as they glanced back at him. For a moment, nothing happened, and he relaxed, thinking that perhaps he was just overreacting after all. However, this calm only lasted a few seconds, for a new dialogue was displayed in the text box.

“Of course I can hear you! Why wouldn’t I?”

A groan escaped Luke’s mouth as his heart dropped with sorrow. Of course it wouldn’t be so easy. It was clear by now that whatever this character was, they could definitely understand him, so that meant they had to be someone who had access to his mic –which he should probably disconnect, but the damage was already done anyways–, as the conversation was way too natural for them to be an AI. Still, the question of how they could have gained said access remained unanswered.

“But that’s not possible!” he said, voice coming a bit louder than he had intended. “This game isn’t even connected to the Internet, there’s no way someone could listen to me! Who even are you?”

“I'm…” the character stopped, seemingly thinking for a moment, before finishing their sentence. “I'm the Challenger, I guess. What about you, Player? What's your name? And who's this Luke you were talking about?”

“I am Luke,” he said by reflex, realizing a little too late that this could be someone from GameFuna and he had just given them his name. Just perfect. Whatever, there was no fixing it now. “And what do you mean you are ‘the Challenger’? What does that mean?”

“Well, you read the introduction for the new game, right?” the Challenger said, text changing once again. “I am that Challenger! The one you are supposed to guide into replacing one of the Scrybes.” There was a pause, a moment of silence before a new text box popped up. “But can we please not do that? I think it’s unfair to replace one of them just because!”

Luke took on the information, feeling his headache grow as he slowly processed what the Challenger had said. The Challenger from the game intro, the one who he is supposed to ‘guide’. Did that mean…? Were they implying that they were the character in the game? As in just the character? Not someone using the avatar to communicate? That didn’t make any sense! It was too advanced to be a simple AI, but then again what he had said about the game not being connected to the Internet was true –he had checked just in case–. So, what was going on?

“Luke? Are you okay?” the little character asked after he hadn’t talked for a long while. As if on cue, he stood up from his chair abruptly. Reading his own name in the game as the character directly addressed him was just too much for him at the moment. The Challenger’s sprite jumped and a few glitches appeared around them, as if they had been startled by the sudden movement. The action only made Luke’s eyes to darken more. “Luk-”

Before they could finish their sentence, he closed the game and turned off the PC, a draining feeling sinking in his chest. That was… a lot to take in. Don’t get him wrong, he wasn’t going to drop everything after he had come this far, but… He needed a moment.

…

It wasn't until around five hours later that Luke opened the game again.

In that time he had done quite the investigation, searching up if it was possible for an offline game inside a floppy disk to hack your computer –no, it wasn’t– and how to prevent it. He had even got in touch with an old friend who worked in cybersecurity to ask her for some help –who laughed at him when he told her the game in question was inside a floppy disk–, conveniently omitting any information regarding GameFuna and Inscryption. Basically, he had made his computer as safe as he could. Or so he hoped. Next he had brainstormed every possible theory regarding the Challenger and their possible background, as unlikely and absurd as some were, to try and make sense of just what or who they could really be. Adding to that, he had written a long list of questions to ask them, hoping he would get answers that allowed him to make sense of this situation.

After taking some time to calm down and prepare himself, he sat back at his desk and stared at the screen of his computer as he watched the familiar letters that read the title of the game show up. He took a deep breath as he clicked the continue game option.

Sure enough, the screen faded to black and came back to disclose the 8-bit scenario he had last seen. Standing there was the Challenger. Actually, no, they weren't standing. It looked like after he had closed the game they had fallen asleep, seating on the floor with their still glitched sprite. Did that mean they weren't operative at the moment or something? He sure hoped not, that would be very inconvenient –and he didn't feel like going through all this anxiety again–. Luke, a bit hesitant, clicked on them. Soon enough, they seemed to open their eyes and slowly stood up.

“Luke! You're back!” they greeted him cheerfully. Luke repressed a flinch upon reading his name again. “Where did you go? I was worried.”

“I… I had things to do” he wasn't expecting to be asked right away, and not sure what to answer that wouldn't give too much information, he resorted to vague answers. “More importantly, I have questions for you.”

“Oh? What is it? I'll be glad to answer them if I can!”

The Challenger tilted their head –how many animations did they have?– and Luke took a deep breath, opening his notebook with all the questions he had prepared. “First of all, who are you?”

“Huh? I thought I already told you. I'm the Challenger!”

“No- I mean- I mean who is behind you? Who is controlling this character I'm talking to?”

There was a pause, almost as if the character was uncomfortable with the question. Huh, weird. He took note of that. They took a few seconds until they answered.

“Uhm… you. You're the only one controlling me.”

Okay, fair enough, he was technically controlling them, but that's not what he meant and that should be clear. Were they just playing with him? It occurred to Luke that this could really be the character becoming alive and talking to him, but it was such a ridiculous idea that he wanted to ignore it.

“Then again,” he thought, “the fact that this entire game is within a floppy disk buried in the woods is also ridiculous.”

He couldn’t believe he was actually considering that option, but it somehow made more sense than anything else he had been able to come with so far. So he decided to go with that idea, as impossible as it was. For the time being at least.

“Okay, let's say I believe you are just a normal game character that somehow became sentient-”

“That's what I am!”

“Why now? Why start speaking and acting on your own now?”

Because that was what made the least sense out of this situation. Why would this person –or character, whatever– decide it was a good moment to reveal themselves as more than just an avatar to control now? Why not back in the cabin, when everything had just started? Why do it at all? The character answered briefly.

“Because… I couldn’t before.”

“Couldn’t? What does that mean?” “I couldn’t talk or move before you started a New Game.” The Challenger explained. “Not much, at least. Sometimes I could do little things like moving a card, but most of the time I only followed your instructions.”

That… That actually made sense. He remembered a few times during his run when a card he hadn’t selected was put on the board without his consent or when an object would be used out of nowhere, but he had thought it was due to misscliks or bugs. Had that really been them all along? After a long pause, Luke spoke again.

“And how come you can now?”

“I don’t know. When you started the New Game I suddenly felt this weird feeling, and when I noticed, I could move!”

The Challenger was clearly happy with this situation, as their sprite in game was jumping cheerfully and, if he looked closely, Luke could even make out a smile on their face. It was quite cute if he was being honest, as much as their mood contrasted with his own confused and slightly scared one.

“Well, I suppose that is a mystery to solve later…” he sighed. “Anyways, if you are sentient now, does that mean that other characters might be too? Like the Scrybes and all?”

“Oh, yeah, they are!” they exclaimed. “They’ve been for a while.”

“Wait, what do you mean?” Luke asked, realisation slowly dawning on him. “Do you mean they were already sentient before?”

“Yeah! I thought you had been talking with them all this time.”

Luke thought back at his time in the cabin and the talking cards. Back then, he had assumed that what they were saying, as well as all the puzzles, had just been part of the game. It made sense, right? He had been trapped in a mysterious cabin in the woods and forced to play a twisted game card in which every time he lost, he would be killed and turned into a card. He had assumed it was all just part of the same mysterious story, that the talking cards were past victims that had as well lost to the mad photographer and were trapped within the game, desperately waiting for someone who could finally free them. Well, he supposed it wasn’t that far from the truth, but the knowledge that those cards were the other Scrybes and that they had actually been sentient during all the game changed it all. It meant that it wasn't a fictional story, but an actual conflict happening there, even if it was happening in a digital world.

“Wait, wait, wait” he said “Why did that guy –Leshy, was it?– Why did he do that to the other Scrybes? Why did he turn them into cards? And why did he force you- me- us, whatever, to play against him like that? What was his goal?”

“I… I don’t know.” The Challenger seemed sad, almost as if the mention of the Scrybes fighting was a sensitive subject to them. If he thought about it, they always seemed to have a bit of… animosity when interacting together. Were their fights a reoccurring thing? “Leshy took over a long time ago. I don’t know why he did that or what he wanted to achieve with it…”

“I see…” concluding that he wouldn’t get any more answers for that specific topic, Luke decided to move on. “One more thing.”

“Yes?”

“Back in the cabin there were a few times when I, uh, when I lost and you would be… You know, carded? Was that you every time? Or were they different people?”

That was a question that particularly worried Luke. If these really were characters coming to life, then those Death Cards meant that he must have been indirectly killing people in some way or another. Luckily, the Challenger’s words calmed him down over this.

“Oh, yeah, it was me all the time!” they said.

Luke nodded, but then he frowned. There was something weird with that.

“Wait, then how come there were multiple Death Cards? Didn’t he turn you every time?”

The Challenger seemed to think for a moment –Luke noticed they did that a lot– before finally answering.

“I’m not sure myself… The flash of his camera always left me dizzy and I couldn’t see anything until sitting back at the table, but he was probably just taking a picture of my shadow?”

“Your… shadow?”

“Yes! It makes sense, right? The Death Cards were only a silhouette, and I always came back no matter what, so the photos must have been my shadow!”

He guessed it did make sense. Or at least he wanted to believe that since it was far better than the idea of people dying and becoming cards to never be seen again. In any case, it just confirmed that the Challenger had been with him from the beginning. The Challenger tilted their head to the side.

“Is that all you wanted to ask?”

“Actually… There’s something else.” He had had this one in his mind for a while. The Challenger waited for him to continue. “Do you have a name? It’s weird to call you ‘the Challenger’ all the time.”

They shook their head. “I’m whatever the player decides to call me. So that’s really up to you!”

Up to him, huh? Well, he wasn’t sure what to call them, he had never been good at naming. Even his own channel’s name came from a joke his sister had made about how their surname was fitting for his obsession with card games. That had been before she passed away.

Luke thought for a while, trying to come up with something. Maybe Sil, from Silent Protagonist? No, that was too lazy. Charlie? It sounded similar to Challenger, but he still wasn’t convinced. He looked at the little character on the screen. What could they be called…? An idea popped up in his mind as he recalled the recent conversation.

“What about Shadow?” he suggested.

The effect was immediate. The Challenger’s pixelated face seemed to light up at the mention of the name, and they started hopping in their place, excitement filling their every movement.

“I love it! Shadow, Shadow, Shadow!” they repeated the name like it was some kind of spell for good luck. Honestly, Luke hadn’t expected they would be this excited over a name like that, but he couldn’t deny it was quite endearing to see.

“Alright, I’m glad you like it!” he said. “Nice to meet you, Shadow.”

Shadow stopped their little dance to stare at the screen with a big smile. “Nice to meet you, Luke!”

With introductions done, Luke took a deep breath as he wondered what to do next. He was determined to solve the mystery surrounding this game, and for the time being it seemed he would have to deal with Shadow, whatever or whoever they were. He really hoped he wouldn’t regret any of this. Oh well, there was no turning back now.

[cocastyle]

The In-Between Chapter 3

Stranger Things x It Crossover

with some Bill Denbrough x reader

Word Count - 4,480

Warning - cursing? (if some people don’t like that kind of stuff)

A/N- chapter 3!! I know you all are excited for the Party and the Losers to meet, but that sadly will not happen until after the next chapter. this is because I have a certain plan for everything and right now, they just haven’t appeared yet. however, that does not mean the Party will not make certain appearances before the big meeting (an example being this chapter). anyways, I hope you all are having a great day and thank you for all the love and support!

if you would like to be added to the tag list, let me know!

T H E I N - B E T W E E N

Intro The Losers’ Club The Party Prologue 1 2

3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 Epilogue

“Shit," Y/N muttered in exasperation as she slammed her home phone down in frustration. Running a shaking hand through her hair, Y/N leaned against the kitchen counter as she tried to think of a solution to her problem. Her problem being that not a single member of the Party was picking up their phone.

Y/N stared at the phone hesitantly before picking it up and quickly dialing her friend's number. "Steve Harrington, I swear-" Y/N began to mutter, but she was once again met with no answer. She slammed the phone down even louder than earlier before slumping against the counter, her head falling into her hands.

This couldn't be happening. The Upside Down being back. Pennywise being back.  Mike being missing. . .

None of this was real. There was just no way.

For a moment, Y/N felt as if she was about to cry. The stinging feeling in her eyes as her vision began to blur ever so slightly only made her more frustrated, her body shaking out of both fear and stress. Fear for her friend and for anyone else that these two threats could harm and stress over how she was supposed to find a solution.

Without the Party, Y/N was the only one that understood how to fight back against the Upside Down. But much like the Losers had to fight together to be able to defeat Pennywise, Y/N and the Party had to do the same with the Upside Down.

How was she supposed to fight the same creatures that had been haunting her nightmares for years now without the very people who had helped her defeat the place not once but three times?

How was she supposed to save Mike?

"Y/N?" a small voice called out making the girl jump in surprise and turn to see both Eddie and Richie standing in the kitchen doorway. Eddie was looking at her in concern while Richie tried to play it off like he didn't want to be there even though they all knew he was worried for her too.

Y/N quickly wiped her eyes to get rid of the small tears that had started to form and plastered a fake smile on her face. "Oh, hey," she said as she waved ever so slightly at the two.

"Shit, you aren't crying, are you?" Richie asked, the tone in his voice making even him wince at his harshness although Y/N was unaffected.

Eddie whacked the boy and glanced over at the girl. "I think what Richie was trying to do was ask if you are okay."

"I don't know about-" Richie began, but Eddie was stomping on his shoe within a second, the boy stopping mid sentence to mutter a bunch of curse words as he hopped up and down on one foot.

"I'm fine," Y/N said, making both boys glance at each other before looking to her with their eyebrows raised. "Really, guys. I'm fine."

"Well, I'm fucking not. So if I'm able to tell you just how not fine I am, you should be able to do the same without lying to my face," Richie told her in slight annoyance as he walked over to stand closer to her, Eddie following right behind.

"Richie's right. None of us are fine and we all know it. Then we have Bill out there worrying more about if you're okay than if he's okay. We had to stop him from coming in here five times by the way since we knew you were on the phone. So don't give us the whole 'I'm fine' crap cause we know you aren't," Eddie said.

Y/N stared at her two friends in silence before she leaned her back against the counter with a sigh and let her head fall back into her hands. Richie was the first to go over to the girl which wasn't really a surprise to any of them. Richie may try to act like he didn't care about things, but when it came to Y/N or even any of his friends, he cared a lot more than he let on.

The boy's arms wrapped around her and Y/N let her body fall against his as her shoulders began to shake, tears filling her eyes. Eddie smiled sadly and walked over before hugging her from the other side and leaning his head on top of hers. Y/N instantly latched her arm on top of Eddie's and was quick to hold his hand as the three stood there comforting one another.

It took a minute, but Y/N eventually managed to stop crying and sniffles as she wiped her tears away. "I'm not fine," she admitted. "And I haven't been fine since the last night after the arcade."

"Why? What happened?" Eddie asked while Richie took his sleeve and helped wipe the girl's tears away. Eddie and Y/N both glanced at the boy and he rolled his eyes at the two before ruffling Y/N's hair just to mess it up and make a point.

Y/N let a small smile peak through and that was enough to make her realize that she could tell them what had happened, that she wanted to tell them what had happened.

"It was late last night, right before the storm hit. I was taking the trash outside to help my parents out when I heard something in the bushes across the street. I thought it was just the wind, but then something started to walk out of the bushes and the lightning flashed, revealing the one thing I thought I would never see again," Y/N told them. Her face paled slightly and for a moment it was as if she was seeing the events of last night all over again.

"A demogorgon."

"Demogorgon? You mean those things you have mentioned before? The ones you fought in Hawkins?" Eddie asked.

Y/N nodded and let her eyes flicker over to Richie, waiting for a snarky response to come from the boy, but all he did was watch her in silence, waiting for her to finish with her story. She let out a small sigh of relief at that and continued.

"It was like I was paralyzed, but then the thing started to come towards me and I snapped out of it and ran inside. Then came the freaky part cause I looked outside my window and instead of the demogorgon, I saw that thing, that clown," Y/N shuddered.

"You saw It?" Richie asked, his eyes wide.

Y/N nodded. "Yeah. Then the lightning kept flashing and all of a sudden both the demogorgon and It were together and with each flash they got closer and closer until they were just on the other side of the window. I was so freaked out that I screamed and fell back, but by the time my father came running in, they were both gone," she finished, her body shaking slightly just from retelling what had happened.

"Well, fuck. No wonder you were acting so weird all day. You were scared shitless," Richie muttered as his eyes flashed with concern.

"That's why you were so concerned about Mike," Eddie concluded causing the girl to nod.

"I wasn't sure if what had happened last night was real or not, so when Mike didn't show up, I got a little scared. It reminded me too much of what had happened to my friend Will back in middle school.  Then I saw that portal and fucking clown earlier tonight I knew what I had seen wasn't a dream and that Mike had been taken," Y/N explained.

"So that's why you're trying to call your friends. You're hoping they can help," Eddie realized.

"Exactly," Y/N said.

"Well what did they say?" Richie asked. "Were you crying cause of them? Did they say something?" He was starting to get a little defensive of the girl and for a moment she was reminded of Steve Harrington, the boy who was practically her brother.

"No, they didn't say anything actually because they didn't answer. That's why you found me crying—because I was so stressed about not knowing what to do," Y/N explained.

Eddie and Richie frowned, but they didn't get a chance to respond because there was a knock on the door. The trio turned to see Bill standing in the doorway, concern in his eyes as they flickered over the three before landing on Y/N.

"E-E-Everything okay?" Bill asked, although he was really asking to see if Y/N was alright.

"Not really," Y/N admitted. "No one's answering my calls."

Bill frowned and looked to the ground for a moment before looking back up at the girl. "W-W-Wait, today's M-M-Monday, right?" He asked.

"Yeah," Y/N replied, her eyebrows furrowing in confusion. "Why is that-?" A loud gasp escaped her lips as a lightbulb went off in her head. "Billy boy, you are a genius!"

"What's so fucking special about Monday?" Richie asked as Y/N sped by the boys and out the door, but not before stopping to kiss Bill's cheek in a thank you.

Bill instantly turned red in the face and blinked a few times to get out of his daze before looking over at his friends. "S-S-Since it's Monday, Y-Y-Y/N has another way of c-c-contacting her f-f-friends," Bill explained. "However. . ." He trailed off and looked to the ground as he realized what everyone was going to have to do in order for her to be able to contact the her friends in Hawkins.

"I'm lost," Eddie muttered.

"M-M-Monday is the day Y/N t-t-talks to Dustin," Bill explained. "B-B-But she doesn't exactly c-c-communicate with him over the ph-ph-phone."

"What does she do? Write a letter?" Richie asked sarcastically. Bill just gave the boys a small almost apologetic smile.

"Y-Y-You'll see."

- - -

"You've got to be shitting me," Richie muttered as he stared up at the huge hills in front of them, the rest of the Losers all looking at the view in front of them with wide eyes as they realized they would have to climb it.

Bill and Y/N glanced at each other, both of them knowing how tired their friends would be by the time they reached the top. Y/N often hiked the small mountain, knowing it was easiest to reach her friend from up there, and Bill had even joined her on a few occasions so they both knew how difficult it was and just how much complaining to expect.

"Oh, it's not that bad," Y/N assured them as she tried to keep her voice as optimistic sounding as possible so that the Losers wouldn't give up hope.

"Y-Y-Y/N's right. We w-w-walk it all the t-t-time," Bill said.

The Losers all glanced at each other and Beverly sighed before nodding her head. "Then lets get going. This might take a while," she sighed.

Y/N sent the girl a thankful smile which Beverly returned. "Come on guys," Y/N said as she turned, tightened the straps of her huge backpack, and began to hike up the mountain. Bill quickly followed after her and Beverly began hiking only a few seconds after them.

It was no surprise that Ben went next as he hurried to catch up to Beverly. That left Stan, Richie, and Eddie. "I'm going to have a fucking asthma attack," Eddie muttered with a shake of his head as he took a puff of his inhaler and began to climb after the four.

"I can't believe we are doing this," Stan whispered to Richie, turning his head to look at the boy.

"Me either," Richie said as he looked up at the hills one last time. He took in a deep breath before slapping Stan on the back. "Come on, Stan the Man. Let's start moving or we'll never get up this fucking mountain."

Stan nodded and reluctantly began to walk up the hill with Richie by his side. "I mean, it can't be that bad," Stan pointed out before he glanced over at his friend. "Right?"

- - -

"I'm dying," Richie cried out as he plopped down on the ground on the top of the hill, his breathing fast and shallow. "I think I'm developing asthma cause my lungs fucking hurt. I can't breathe. I'm going to die."

"Shut the hell up," Eddie muttered with a roll of his eyes as he lightly kicked the boy who had laid on the ground by his feet. In Eddie's defense, Richie has been the one to lay there and he was being a bit of a prick.

Richie sent a glare in his friend's direction before reluctantly pulling himself up and turning to see everyone — except for him and Eddie — was watching Y/N as she rummaged through her bag and began to pull out equipment.

"What the hell is that?" Richie asked as he pulled himself up onto his feet. He walked over to where Y/N was, Eddie right behind him, before he scrunched up his nose in disgust and said, "Is that a fucking radio?"

"Yep," Y/N replied, not fazed by the person that was Richie Tozier.

"No offense, Y/N, but how is that supposed to help us?" Stan inquired.

"Yeah, didn't you tell us before that Hawkins is like a little less than a day's car ride away?" Ben questioned, everyone's eyes falling on the girl.

"Well, for starters, this radio is unlike any radio you have ever seen. Not only did I make it myself, but there are only two like it, one of them being this one while the other belongs to my friend Dustin who helped me make the radios. We made them one summer at science camp and they help with long-range communication," Y/N explained.

"So why did we climb this hill?" Eddie asked.

"Because the higher up we are, the better signal we will have," Y/N replied.

"What if Dustin doesn't have his radio on?" Beverly asked.

"That's where the whole it being a Monday thing comes into play. Dustin and I usually try and talk on the radios every Monday if we can. It's the only time I can really talk to my friends without any interruptions. And since it's a Monday, Dustin should be on. However, since we were at the Well House and the back at my house trying to call everyone, I missed the usual time we talk. So right now we are going on pure hope that Dustin is still there," Y/N told them.

"We're going off hope? Hope?" Richie asked, his eyes wide as he looked at his friends as if to confirm that they thought this idea was crazy as well. However, none of them seemed to agree with the boy. Richie rolled his eyes and let out a sigh, "This is fucking stupid."

"You know who else said that? Your mom when she gave birth to you," Y/N retorted before she proceeded to pretend to be the boy and let out a holler as she held a hand out to Eddie. Eddie snickered and high fived the girl while Richie frowned.

He could tell this was going to be a long night.

- - -

The night turned out to be just as long for the Losers as Richie has predicted, each of them so tired that their eyes struggled to stay open. The only thing keeping them awake was their fear for Mike and the sound of Y/N desperately talking into the radio and repeating every five minutes, "Guys? Dustin? This is Y/N. Does anyone copy? I've got a code red situation. I repeat, a code red situation. Over."

Besides Y/N, Bill was the only other person fully awake, both him and Y/N talking about nonsense as they kept each other awake and awaited a response. The others had all walked a little ways away to lay on the mountain-like hill as they talked, leaving Bill and Y/N by themselves.

This led to the two taking about anything they could think of, even going as far as for Y/N to open up to Bill about what had happened the previous night with It and the demogorgon. Bill had been a little upset that she hadn't told him, but understood seeing as she hadn't wanted to cause a panic when not knowing if what had happened was real or not.

But as the time drug on, the two slowly began to grow tired. Before they knew it, Y/N had found herself leaning against Bill and was struggling to keep her eyes open while Bill was resting his head on top of the girl's with an arm wrapped around her and his eyes closed.

Y/N let out a small sigh and spoke into her radio as she let out a tired yawn, "Guys? This is Y/N. . .again. Does anyone copy? This is a code red situation. I repeat, a code red situation. Over."

Just like the other times, she got no response. Y/N huffed and tried again, "This is Y/N. I have a code red situation. I repeat, a code red situation. Is anyone there? Over."

A groan escaped Richie's lips as he looked at the watch on his wrist to see that it was eleven o'clock. "That's it!" He exclaimed as he got up onto his feet, his sudden actions and booming voice startling everyone awake including Eddie who gave Richie a deathly glare.

Bill jumped from beside Y/N and his eyes shot open before he looked down to see just how close he had gotten to the girl while he was asleep. The two blushed slightly and sat up straighter before looking over at Richie.

"This is ridiculous!" Richie yelled. "They obviously aren't going to answer, so why are we wasting time when we could be using it to help Mike?"

The Losers didn't respond, each of them looking down as they realized Richie was right. Y/N, however, shook her head. "You don't get it, Richie," Y/N began, but the boy was quick to shake his head and cut her off.

"No, you don't get it, Y/N! That fucking clown has our friend and the longer It has him, the less likely it is that Mike is even alive!" Richie yelled.

Y/N frowned and got up onto her feet. "You think I don't know that? You have no idea what I've been through, Richie! The Upside Down is not something you want to fuck around with and I'm sure It is not any better!" she argued.

Richie let out a groan of disbelief. "You're seriously still going on about this? You know what, we shouldn't even be arguing right now. We need to save Mike because it's our job as his fucking friends to help him!" Richie yelled.

Y/N was seething at the point, the anger and fear coursing through her body only making her think irrationally. She opened her mouth to yell at her friend, but she felt someone lightly grab her wrist and tug on it.

The girl spun around and instantly softened at the sight of Bill. He gave her a small sad smile before whispering, "Y/N, Richie's right. I'm sorry, but we need to help Mike."

She hesitated at that, her eyes flickering over all of her friends as she realized they all agreed with Richie, that the longer they waited, the more harm that would come to Mike.

A small sigh escaped the girl's mouth and she gently pulled her arm away from Bill before hugging her body. She was just abut to open her mouth and give up when the sound of static filled the air. Y/N instantly turned at that, her eyes landing on her radio as a voice began to fill the air.

"Y/N? This is Dustin. Did I hear you say a code red situation? Over."

Y/N didn't know whether she wanted to cry or yell out in joy, so the sound that escaped her lips was a mix between a squeal and a sob. She rushed over to the radio and quickly picked up the com before pressing a button and spewing out at a hundred words a second, "Dustin! Oh boy, am I glad to hear you! Sorry for not being on earlier. I was a little busy. Yes, this is a code red situation. I repeat, a code red situation! I need you and the gang to get to Derry as quick as possible. Over."

There was a moment of static before Dustin said, "You're messing with me, right? You want us to go to Maine? That's at least a seventeen hour drive! Are you crazy? Over."

Y/N groaned in frustration while the Losers all watched her. "Dustin, listen to me. I wouldn't ask this of you all if I wasn't serious. Over," she insisted.

"Give me one good reason why we should come down there. Over," Dustin said.

The girl paused, her eyes flickering up at the look at the Losers who had all crowded around her before she glanced down and whispered, "They're back."

There was a long silence before Dustin's voice came through sounding both scared and confused, "What?"

"You heard what I said!" Y/N said as she raised her voice. "They're back and now my friend is missing just like what happened to Will all those years ago. I need you guys to come to Maine. Do whatever it takes to get here. Have Nancy or Jonathan or even Steve pile you all in a car and drive you here cause this is unlike anything we have ever seen, Dustin. And I can't. . .we can't do it without you guys. Over."

"Whose we? Over," Dustin said.

Y/N glanced over at her friends and they all looked at her expectantly. "You'll see," Y/N said into her com. "Does this mean you'll get the Party to come or what? Over."

There was a long silence, one that had Y/N practically rocking back and forth anxiously. Then the familiar sound of static filled the air before Dustin said, "Copy that."

Both Y/N and the rest of the Losers all let out a collective sigh of relief. "Hold tight and try and get as much information as you can about what's going on without getting into too much trouble. We're on our way. Over," Dustin said.

"Thank God," Y/N sighed. "See you soon. Over."

"Be careful, Y/N."

"You too, Dustin."

The connection went dead not even a second later and Y/N turned off the radio before turning to look at the Losers who were all watching her in silence. She pulled herself up onto her feet and gave them all a small determined nod, "Now let's go find Mike."

- - -

Loud knocking on his apartment door was not what Steve Harrington wanted to wake up to. Opening the door to see that the knocking belonged to none other than the little shit heads that he had someone frown to care about — he was still unsure how that had happened — well that was when he realized that was even worse than having to wake up when someone else was knocking.

Steve yawned and rubbed his eyes before leaning up against the doorway, his eyes squinting as he looked at the faces of Dustin Henderson, Mike Wheeler, Eleven Hopper, Will Byers, Lucas Sinclair and Max Mayfield.

"You better be here selling Girl Scout cookies or I'm going to shut the door in your face," Steve warned.

"We're not here selling-" Steve didn't even let Lucas finish his sentence before he had slammed the door in the kids' faces. He let out a yawn and turned to walk away when the knocking suddenly came back, only this time more persistent than before.

Steve let out a small groan before opening the door and looking to the seventeen year olds in annoyance. "What could you possibly want at-" Steve paused to glance at the clock on his wall and let out a groan, "-one in the morning? You do realize you have school tomorrow and I have work, right?"

"School and work can wait," Max insisted. "This is more important."

"If it's not Girl Scout cookies then I don't know how it can be any more important than that," Steve sighed as he yawned again.

"It's Y/N," Dustin said, that simple sentence causing the older boy to freeze mid-yawn. Steve let his eyes flicker over to the boy and the look he gave him was one that told him to continue.

Dustin took in a deep breath before beginning his small speech that he had already given to the other members of the Party, "So I was supposed to have my normal conversation with Y/N like I usually do on Monday's, right? Well she wasn't there when I got on tonight which I thought was really weird so I changed frequencies and talked to Susie for a bit before going back to talk to Y/N. When I changed frequencies, Y/N was back on and talking about a code red situation. So basically, she really needs our help because the Upside Down is back and her friend has been taken. She needs us to drive to Derry, Maine like as quick as we can."

"Maine?" Steve asked his eyes wide. "That's like a seventeen hour drive at least!"

"That's what I said! But she really needs us, Steve. All of us," Dustin told him. "Jonathan and Nancy already can't come and Robin is out of town, so you're our last person we decided to come and recruit before we end up driving ourselves all the way to Maine."

"Listen, Dustin, I've got work and-"

"It's Y/N," Dustin said, his voice raising slightly in anger. "Our best friend. She's done anything and everything that she could for us and right now, she needs us to return the favor. Don't act like you aren't sure if you can come because I'm calling bullshit! the two of you were closer than anyone else! You are practically family! She needs you, Steve! So stop being an asshole, go put some clothes on, and get in the fucking car!"

Steve blinked in surprise at Dustin's little outburst before relaxing slightly and nodding. Dustin was right. Y/N needed him. The boy let out a small sigh and turned to walk back into his apartment.

"I'll get the bat."

* * *

Tag List

@witch-of-all-things-soft @nightbu-g

@vickeystar @daniellajocelyn

@alexthe80swhore @ren-ni

@floralpiper @starshininginthedark

@aimee-lucass @dwcljh

@sycard @connor---murphy

@tinycolorwhispers @sarai-ibn-la-ahad

@izzyisavengersupernaturaltrash

@theamandarenee @amberkay284

@gryffingirl @dejewskoo

@artlovingbre @jacinta-lexianne

@gabiatthedisco @littlemaeve

@newhopenessie @pheonix-nin

@captn-sprkl-fngrs @flaredflowersuits

@madelinelikesfics @mysteryartisticwriter

@that-one-book-girl @spnsquirrel

@galaxsea-707 @felicia-can-fly

@whoops-im-gay-now @hollandcomics

@lauren-theicecreamslinger @peterhollandd

@princessserena23 @hollandstanleythomas

@you-s-suckbowers @hitoshi-s-stupid-bitch

[jasperygrace]

February 2021 Mid Monthly Report

Hello hello! Do I keep changing the graphic style every month? Yes, yes I do--I'm doing my best to get a feel for these reports; I'm not quite there yet.

Buckle up, y'all. This month's report is a bit of a long one, so without further ado, let's begin!

Project Progress

If you're interested in the project, consider checking out the WIP page!

Shrines:

It is with great pleasure to show you all the finished Shrine concepts:

The concepts came out AMAZING; I'm incredibly impressed with my self, to be honest. There's technically suppose to be one more piece included with this set, the interior of the Shrines, but I'm still working out how I want the inside to actually look. Once I'm done with the zero draft, I'll likely have a better idea of this.

So what exactly are the Shrines? As some the notes in the first image states, their purpose is to maintain the barrier that's keeping shapeshifters like Orias and Niv (called Abstraktions) trapped within the Trigala Wasteland. This is also where Vinnie meets Miriam since she's trapped within that system. There are three total present in the wasteland, corresponding to the three acts that Project : Desert is set up as.

Act Two Fiasco:

Speaking of acts, I recently came across a story issue as I was plotting out Act 2; originally, I was suppose to introduce a new character who would only appear in this act. The problem I was beginning to have was that this new character was stealing the spotlight from all the other supporting characters (especially Briar and Reese). Unfortunately for me, I wasn't able to address this issue until yesterday morning (as of writing this). I had already drafted five chapters into Act 2 and now I've gotta scrap them; alas, I'll do what's best for the story, even if that means starting again from the top.

Going into this with a new thought in mind, my goal for Act 2 is to shine the spotlight on Briar and Reese. They're in the sidelines for majority of Act 1 since that's where the main conflict is setting up (Vinnie getting attacked and running from Trin, Orias setting his plan into motion, and Niv mercilessly hunting the two of them down). Unlike Claudia, Miriam, and Niv who only show up for parts of the story, Briar and Reese are constant presence around the protagonists; they need to make their presence known otherwise the reader is going to forget they're there.

Housekeeping

I'll do my best to keep this bit short since this report is a lot longer than I planned (whoops).

I need to do some desperate housekeeping for the project. What do I mean by this? I'm planning to redo some technical stuff, such as redoing the WIP page, making a proper WIP intro, I'd even like to tweak some of the character designs to make them stand out and/or easier to draw (I'm looking at you, Vinnie). Of course, I'm not going to have time to do all of this in a month, especially with my new art gig, but I'd like to get on the ball to doing this.

I also want to get back into doing full pieces again because it as been awhile. I'm incredibly rusty since I've done nothing but concept art for the last couple months. I plan on practicing some scenery and perspective in the coming days, just so I get the hang of it again.

Goals

Here are the goals I completed for this month:

Outline five chapters by February 15th [Although I did write 5 chapters, I plan on redoing them]

Complete Shrine concepts by February 15th [done]

February Goals:

Outline five chapters by March 16th

Redo the WIP page by March 6st

Create a WIP introduction post by March 16th (must complete the WIP page task first)

Create a seperate post for the Shrine concepts by February 21st

Complete a scenery piece by March 16th (bonus points if two pieces are completed)

That sums up my report for this month! Thank you for reading and I hope you'll support me in my future endeavors!

[jeannereames]

Hello, Dr. Reames! I love your work (and am very excited to read your novels very soon!). I am thinking of doing a phd (not history or classics, but maybe sort of related to Alexander) but I'm scared that I'm not going to have the motivation to go through with the whole thing... Do you ever lose motivation and get discouraged when researching/writing and how do you deal with it? I know that this is completely unrelated to Alexander/ancient history so feel free to ignore it☺

Hi, there! This reply is going to be in 3 parts. First, about my own motivation…

I think everybody (even Alexander!) has periods of feeling discouraged. It’s part of being human. This is especially true when something you put days, weeks, or sometimes *years* of effort into doesn’t work out, or isn’t well-received, or comes back with “revise and resubmit.” Ha.

So, real life recent example:  About a year and a half ago, I finished an article that took me (literally) 5 years to research and write, because it combined research into two different areas, only one of which is my research area. It took a huge amount of reading, and I’d even presented it at a couple of conferences, where I received good feedback. It was supposed to be published in conference proceedings, but that fell through (not my part of it, the entire publication didn’t happen because the editor quit). So I had to shop it around to journals. It went out to three readers, and all three returned it with “Revise (substantially) and resubmit,” + large *additional* bibliography (mostly not in English) in the area not my field. Two of the readers thought my chief point was valid, but needed more support. (The third just flat disagreed with me, but it’s academia; that happens.) But that was after it had been presented 3xs already, and revised after each.

OTOH, I was pretty discouraged. But OTOH, the suggestions and reading lists were helpful. These are blind reviews, so it wasn’t personal. And the entire point of peer review is to help a book or article improve. Lord knows, nobody wants to put out something that will get you laughed at. But after all the time I’d already spent on it, it was still really discouraging as I’d thought it in pretty good shape.

Almost everybody in academia is going to have an article or three turned down, or a book refused, etc. And after a while, it can be really hard to keep trying. And it’s not just in academia.

Do you know how long it took me to sell Dancing with the Lion? 15 years! I got my first serious query from an agent in 1996. (The first words of the novel were written in December of 1988–that’s how old it is.) That agent eventually decided it wasn’t for her. I’ve had a couple others since…same thing. I’ve sent out probably around 500 queries to agents or publishers. In fact, I’d put the book AWAY and started a completely different trilogy (which I’m in the middle of now), because I figured it would only sell later.

Then I happened to read comments about Madeline Miller’s A Song for Achilles written by an English professor and new acquisitions editor at Riptide. She liked it, but there were a couple of things she really didn’t like. And they were the very ways (I thought) my novel was different. So I emailed her. She asked for sample chapters, then the whole thing, and finally, Riptide offered me a contract. They’re not a major press, they’re a Romance publisher primarily, but they were willing to take a chance on my coming-of-age historical, so I grabbed the opportunity. Now the book is out (well, the first half is), and it’s getting pretty decent reviews.

So persistence can pay off.

That said, if someone else had told me that story 10 years ago, I’d have snorted and said (in my mind), “Maybe it did for you. Maybe I’m just a bad writer and I’ll never succeed.” I’d also just been through a divorce and was having trouble selling my house in the housing bust, etc., etc. So a lot of things in my life were pear-shaped at the time, and that can make it really hard to keep trudging.

The “Dark Night of the Soul” is a real thing, and we all go through it.

The only way I get through it, myself, is to remember things in the past that went well, times I succeeded. Plus, I’m just a really stubborn SOB. Ha.

But discouragement is normal, and there will be points in everybody’s life where not just one or two things are going wrong, but it seems as if EVERYthing is going wrong and you’re just a total failure. You have to believe it’ll get better.

Now, part #2, about motivation to complete a degree. It’s a bit like the AA motto: one day at a time. Or really, one semester at a time. One hurdle at a time. When I first got to Penn State, the long, long road ahead made me freak out a little, but Gene Borza (my advisor) told me to take it in bites. And to remember that other people had made it through; I could, as well.

Also, don’t let yourself get thrown by “Imposter’s Syndrome.” This is the feeling that you don’t belong somewhere: in grad school, in a PhD program, in a department (or really, ANY arena). You’re not as good as the others. Minorities, women, and first-generation college students are those most likely to suffer imposter’s syndrome, but it can hit others too, such as the children of academics (I’ll never measure up to mom/dad), etc.

Last, part #3, and this may seem an odd coda to all the above rah-rah cheerleading. But as a (now former) graduate program chair, I would be terribly remiss if I didn’t put out a warning.

Not only is the field of humanities in trouble right now, in the US and Canada, and elsewhere, too, but the entire university system is changing. This latter is especially true in the US, but I hear rumblings from other places. Partly, this owes to the rise of online education. But even more, it’s what I call the “Wal-martization” of the university, where tenure-track lines are being replaced by a bunch of part-time instructors who have to teach 6 classes just to make enough to EAT. “Adjunct” professors, even those with PhDs, are paid a pittance. It’s absolutely immoral and ridiculous.

Universities are turning into profit more than education, with a degree seen as “job training” instead of learning to think critically and exploring Big Questions, which are increasingly viewed as a waste of time. Administration levels are increasingly bloated with deans, assistant deans, supervisory boards, etc. They’re (mostly) not teaching, but their paycheques are high. Tenured faculty positions are being eliminated. Colleges and unis realized that they could turn over a lot of (especially intro and survey) courses to part-time instructors for a *fraction* of what they paid tenured and tenure-track faculty, but still reap high tuition.

When I was finishing up in the ‘90s, I was teaching as an adjunct while writing my dissertation, then for a bit after, as was expected for “teaching experience” before being hired. The phenomenon of the “Visiting Assistant Professor” (or VAP) was *starting* to gain traction, but was still usually just a year or two until these people would find a tenure-track position (VAP is not tenure-track). But now, I know people who’ve been VAPping for YEARS. And some just give up. Also, adjuncting like what I was doing has gone from “teaching experience for a real job” into “the only lane for employment” for a lot of PhD (and some MA) graduates. Especially women PhDs get caught in that trap.

These are the realities of where we are right  now.

And THE MOST USELESS DEGREE ON THE PLANET is a PhD in the humanities. I say that as one who holds it. With a few exceptions, a humanities PhD prepares you for pretty much one job: being a professor. And those jobs are winking out of existence with frightening speed. This is a change that has accelerated over the last 10 years, and especially over the last 5. We’re turning out PhDs with no available positions. Museum studies, Classics, archaeology, philosophy are in even worse shape. SOME history PhDs are more popular. This year, H-Net has a bunch of Latin American positions open, for instance.

An MA in history (or related) is still useful. There are certain jobs that like them, ranging from state jobs like the Park Service to the FBI and CIA.

But a PhD? Think loooooong and hard before investing that time and money. This is not a matter of *you* not being able to do the work to get one. It’s a matter of the university system as we’ve known it crumbling away under our very feet. I have no idea what the American university will look like in 10 years. And once you have a PhD, it educates you out of most other jobs.

So that’s the unfortunate bad news. And I’d be a very irresponsible advisor if I didn’t tell you the truth. IME, people who really want a PhD will ignore me and go after it anyway. But at least you’ll go in with your eyes open.

[cocastyle]

Mamma Mia - Chapter 6

Pairing - Tony Stark x reader, Steve Rogers x reader, Bucky Barnes x reader

Word Count- 3,206

Warning- none

A/N- chapter 6 is now up! I hope you all are liking this story so far! comment who you think Y/N will end up with as of right now. I already have a plan but I want to know what you all think!

Intro Prologue 1 2 3 4 5 6 7

By the time Y/N remembered that she had a lot of things to fix around the hotel, her and her friends had all grown a little tipsy from the wine they had been drinking. Natasha, Pepper, and Wanda were in the middle of laughing about something when Y/N shot up from her seat, stumbling onto her feet.

"Oh, my God! I have so much to do. I'll be back. I've got to go fix some of the doors around here and I'm pretty sure someone told me this morning that there was a crack in my courtyard that I gotta go fix and-" Y/N continued to ramble faster and faster until Wanda stood up and put her hand on the girl's shoulders.

"Y/N, deep breaths," Wanda reminded the girl. Y/N nodded and took in a few deep breaths while Wanda continued to talk. "You need to calm down, relax for a minute. We haven't all been together in a long time, so just sit and talk for a few more minutes. You deserve the break."

"No, no, I can't," Y/N shook her head. "There's so much to do and I need to make sure that Alex's wedding is perfect and-" Before she could finish the sentence, Natasha, Pepper, and Wanda had all pulled the girl back down on the couch they had been sitting on.

"Sit down!" Pepper exclaimed while Natasha held the girl down on the couch. Y/N let out a laugh from the tipsiness and exclaimed, "Nat, let me go!" The red head ignored her while Wanda just chuckled as she sat down next to Pepper.

"Listen, Y/N," Pepper spoke up. "I know you're going to make a fortune with Peter’s website, but are you gonna be okay until then?"

"Ooo, I think Pepper is offering to pawn her bling," Natasha said, her eyes flickering to look at Y/N. "Now's your chance to become filthy rich in a matter of seconds," Wanda muttered jokingly. "I say the facial cream is the first to go," Natasha teased making Pepper roll her eyes.

"No, seriously, Y/N," Pepper said. "Oh, my God," Y/N muttered with a shake of her head, guilt washing over her as she realized that she must've been complaining a lot for her friend to think she needed help.

"Do you need a loan?" Pepper asked sincerely. "No, Pep. Oh, God no," Y/N said as she sat up and shook her head. "I'm just whining and complaining like always. I don't need to be taken care of."

"Yeah, but are you being taken care of?" Pepper asked. "I've got Wanda to keep me thinking straight and Alex and Peter are always helping out," Y/N said.

Pepper chuckled and shook her head, "That's not what I meant." "Then what do you mean?" Y/N questioned. Pepper glanced at the girl and smirked, "Are you getting any?"

Y/N blinked in surprise. Not wanting to answer the question, she sneakily got her drill out of her utility belt before saying, "Oh, you mean-" She then turned the drill on making Pepper jump back in surprise while Natasha and Wanda started laughing.

The seriousness of the situation instantly dissolved as the four friends started laughing. Once she knew her friends were laughing and she could joke about the situation despite it being serious to her, Y/N laughed and shook her head, "No, it takes too much energy."

"Yeah, just more plumbing to be maintained, isn't it?" Wanda asked. "Exactly," Y/N laughed. "Oh, God, I'm so glad that whole part of my life is over. You know, seriously. I do not miss it at all."

And while her friends continued to laugh, Y/N cleared her throat and chugged the rest of her wine.

- - -

"Then its just right here," Tony heard Alex say. He took his gaze off of the scenery to look at the young girl. He smiled slightly at how much she looked like Y/N before noticing the small building behind her, the building in which him and the two men he had met only a few hours ago were supposed to be staying in.

Alex stood near the door and smiled at them. Seeing that neither Steve or Bucky was going to make the first move, Tony offered the girl a smile back before walking into the building. Bucky sighed and followed after while Steve asked confused, "Where's Y/N?"

Tony and Bucky turned at that to see what the girl would say, but she ignored Steve and just gently pushed him into the building before closing the door. Alex then turned to them and pointed up at a small trap door in the ceiling. "Up you go," she muttered.

Tony glanced up and chuckled. This trip was turning out to be way different than he expected, but he didn't really care. He had grown used to the lavish lifestyle he had, so when he got to experience things like this where he was staying in an old barn with goats and two strangers, Tony took it more as an adventure and actually liked it.

Judging from the looks on Bucky and Steve's faces, they thought the opposite.

Tony went upstairs first, smiling slightly as a chuckle escaped his lips from the sight of three deflated air mattresses on the ground before him. He was quick to go put his stuff by one of the air mattresses while Bucky and Steve climbed up.

Bucky frowned slightly, a look of confusion on his face at their living situation, while Steve blinked in surprise. The two men climbed their way up and Steve let out a sigh before looking back at the trap door where they could see Alex's head sticking out.

"You know, I don't want to seem ungrateful for the scenic tour, but might I be shown my room now?" Steve asked. Tony chuckled and clapped a hand on the blond's shoulder. "I know this may be a bit shocking for you, old man, but I think this is your room," Tony told him.

Steve frowned, not because of the living situation but because of the fact that Tony had called him an 'old man.'

Bucky set his stuff down, ignoring the other adults, before glancing at Alex nervously. "Uh. . .do you think we could see Y/N now? I kind of need to talk to her about a few things," Bucky said.

Alex's eyes flickered over to the man while Tony and Steve turned their gaze on the young girl. She let out a nervous laugh and climbed the rest of the way up. "Uh. . .I sent the invites," Alex explained as she got up onto her feet. "My mom doesn't know anything."

The three men blinked in surprise while Tony raised his eyebrows. "Oh, kid," he muttered as he let out a small breath. She really had no idea what she just did, did she?

"Well, she's done so much for me, and she's always talking about you guys and the good old days, and I thought, what an amazing surprise for her that you are all gonna be at my wedding," Alex explained.

"Hang on, kid," Tony sighed as he walked over and out a hand on her should. "I. . .I shouldn't be here. The last time I saw your mother, she said she never wanted to see me again."

A feeling of guilt washed over Tony as he remembered that moment, the tears in Y/N's eyes and the redness of her face (whether that was from anger or embarrassment or both, he wasn't sure) as she had slapped him, exclaiming that she never wanted to see him again. It had been a moment he would never forget, that was for sure.

And the worst part was, he hadn't gotten the chance to explain what had happened, to tell her that some crazy fan who wanted his money had kissed him hoping that he would fall in love with her with just one kiss. Tony had been in the middle of pushing the girl away when Y/N had walked up, but Y/N hadn't given him a chance to even talk before she had walked out of his life.

"That was years ago!" Alex exclaimed. "Please, it would mean a lot to me." Tony furrowed his eyebrows, his eyes flickering over the girl as she gave him an unreadable expression. "Why?" He asked confused.

"Listen, I can see that you've been to a great deal of trouble, Alex," Steve said. "But might I suggest that we all reconvene in your boat, Tony?" "Good idea," Bucky agreed.

Tony was silent as he stared at Alex, watching as her smile disappeared from their words and a look of hurt and sadness flashed through her eyes. The man let out a small sigh and turned to Bucky and Steve as he clapped his hands together, smiling at them.

"Sorry, fellas, but not gonna happen," Tony said before walking by them to start unpacking. "What, why?" Steve asked. "It's an adventure, old man. It's good for you," Tony told him. "Oh, I see," Steve muttered grumpily.

"Okay, when I sent the invites, it was a long shot that you'd even reply," Alex admitted causing the three men to stop what they were doing and look back at her. "And now you've come all this way for a wedding. Surely there must have been some special reason for you to be here. Like some siren call, maybe?"

Or their own guilt?

The three men blinked in surprise before Tony let out a small chuckle. Steve and Bucky joined soon after and Alex watched her three possible fathers as they all laughed.

"You're a little minx, you know that?" Bucky asked in amusement. "You're just like your mother." "I'll take that as a compliment," Alex responded instantly. Bucky held up his hands in defeat, "Never said it was anything but a compliment. Your mother was quite something back in the day. She could convince me to do almost anything."

"Like to come here?" Alex questioned.

Bucky blinked in surprise before looking up at Alex, his eyes narrowing slightly. "How did you-?" He began, but he fell silent once a loud humming sound filled the air.

All three men froze while Alex's eyes widened. "It's Y/N," Tony whispered in disbelief. He would recognize that voice anywhere. She used to sing all the time back when they were together, said that singing was the only thing that made her feel alive.

Tony stopped unpacking and began to walk to the trap door, Bucky and Steve following behind him. "No," Alex said as she quickly stood in front of them. "No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Listen, listen, she can't know. I'm going to go. Please stay. Promise me that you'll not tell anybody that I invited you. Okay? Promise?"

Tony was the first to break his gaze away from the trap door and to look at the girl in front of him. His eyes flickered over her and he let out a small sigh as he smiled at the girl. "You got it, kid," he agreed.

Alex smiled, her eyes flickering over to Steve and Bucky. The two men glanced at each other before looking back at Alex. "It's a promise," Steve agreed. "I might regret it, but okay," Bucky said.

"Okay," Alex whispered excitedly. She then hurried over to the window of the room making the three men look at her confused. Alex ignored their gazes and pulled back a wooden board and handed it to Bucky before opening the window and stepping out.

"What are you-?" Bucky began, but Alex just smiled. "I'll be back later," she said before closing the window, not noticing that she closed it hard enough for her mother to hear from down below.

Y/N jumped in surprise from the loud sound that came from above her. Furrowing her eyebrows, she looked up. She heard the sound of stuff being moved around and frowned before going over to the ladder that was set right below the trap door that led to the top floor of the barn.

Y/N climbed up the ladder and hesitated before pushing the trap door up. She was about to open it all the way when she caught sight of a pair of shoes. She quickly closed it a little allowing for it to be open enough for her to see, but closed enough where whoever was in there wouldn't notice.

(E/c) eyes flickered over to the shoes before slowly making their way up the figure, stopping on the face of a man who she hadn't seen in twenty years. A strangled gasp left her lips as her eyes widened. "Steve?" She whispered in disbelief as she stared at the man who used to be her best friend up until that night twenty years ago.

"Come on, old man. Don't get all cranky. You'll see her soon enough," a familiar voice called out. Y/N quickly looked behind Steve to see the owner of the voice, a nicely dressed man who had a cocky smirk on his face as he put a pair of sunglasses on despite being indoors.

"Tony?" Y/N whispered out confused and surprised. Not only was one of her exes here, but two?

"Tony, quit messing with him," another voice said and Y/N about fell off the ladder just from hearing the voice of her first lover. Her eyes frantically searched the place until she caught sight of him standing on the other side of the room. Her breath hitched in her throat and she painfully whispered out, "James?"

Y/N let out a gasp of surprise and quickly shut the trap door and jumped off the ladder and onto the ground. "I was cheated by you and I think you know when. So I made up my mind, it must come to an end," Y/N sang.

She was quick to run out the doors of the barn, shutting the doors behind her as she leaned against the doors for support.

"Look at me now, will I ever learn? I don't know how but I suddenly lose control. There's a fire within my soul."

Y/N let out a shaky breath and looked up at the building, her heart beating furiously as a blizzard of mixed emotions hit her. She bit her lip nervously and against her better judgement, began to climb up the side of the building, wanting to know if what she saw was real or not.

"Just one look and I can hear a bell ring. One more look and I forget everything, wo-o-o-oh."

Y/N stopped at the window to the room and took a deep breath before opening it. She let out an almost disappointed sigh when she came face to face with a wooden board that had old posters for the Dynamos. Y/N looked around until her eyes landed on the ladder on the side of the building. She bit her lip nervously.

Was she really about to do this?

"Mamma mia, here I go again. My my, how can I resist you? Mamma mia, does it show again? My my, just how much I've missed you."

Y/N climbed up the ladder before stepping onto the building, stumbling slightly as she tried to gain her footing. The roof creaked below her and Y/N winced and froze in place. If what she thought she had seen was true, then she definitely didn't want Bucky, Tony, or Steve catching her in the act of trying to see them.

"Yes, I've been brokenhearted. Blue since the day we parted. Why, why did I ever let you go? Mamma mia, now I really know."

Y/N took a step forward towards the trapdoor on the roof and winced again when there was another creak. She quickly stepped back, stopping on the side of the roof and not noticing that Alex, Michelle, and Liz had caught sight of her.

"My my," Alex, Michelle, and Liz muttered before running towards the barn.

Y/N looked back at the trap door and took in a deep breath before beginning to make her way over to it from the other side.

"I should not have let you go."

She was about to go to the trap door when she remembered that there was another window on the side of the building. Y/N hurried over there before laying down on her stomach and leaning her head over the side.

She was just able to see through the top of the window and none of the men seemed to notice her (h/c) hair glowing in the sunlight because they were all occupied with either unpacking or blowing up their mattresses. Y/N was silent for a minute as she looked between the three men confused and hurt as to why they were here.

"I was angry inside when I knew we were through."

Y/N let out a sigh and pulled her body back onto the roof and laid there for a second, her eyes on the sky above her as a million thoughts ran through her head.

"I can't count all the times I've cried over you. Look at me now, will I ever learn? I don't know how but I suddenly lose control. There's a fire within my soul."

Her eyes flickered over to the trap door that she was now lying next to and she took a deep breath before shakily holding a hand out to the handle.

"Just one look and I can hear a bell ring."

Y/N shook her head and pulled her hand away. She couldn't do this.

"One more look and I forget everything, wo-o-o-oh."

Y/N looked back at the handle and began to have an argument with herself. She started to reach for it again.

"Mamma mia, here I go again My my, how can I resist you?"

Y/N pulled her hand away, a feeling of doubt washing over herself.

"Mamma mia, does it show again? My my, just how much I've missed you."

She let out a sigh and got back onto her feet, memories and old feelings washing over her as she told there in the wind.

"Yes, I've been brokenhearted. Blue since the day we parted. Why, why did I ever let you go?"

Y/N took a shaky breath and bent down next to the trap door, her fingers grazing over the door handle.

"Mamma mia, here I go again. My my, I should not have let you go."

Then, against her better judgement, Y/N opened the trap door. However, it had a little more of a pullback than she expected.

And before she knew it, Y/N went stumbling through the door and down onto the air mattress of her first love while three of her exes all stared at her with wide eyes.

Tony was the first to break the silence, a loud laugh escaping his lips.

"Hello, Y/N. Nice of you to drop by."

Tag List:

@babygirlizz

@stars-cant-be-broken

@sammmnmy

@oceanmendes