#i'm not super sad for reasons that are private but

[mypillowpaper]

🡻VENT

Hello, this is going to be a rather sad kind of message, the first time I have to talk about a client with such a bitter perspective for me.

Clients are always a reason to celebrate, with many I have developed super long conversations, others have seen me grow on social networks and I have seen them get married, have children or change their lives little by little just like me.

In my community I am always happy to have good experiences with my clients, because even the few times I have not agreed with something, everything has been able to be discussed and come to a good end.

I have been in contact with all kinds of personalities and moods, both my own and those of others, for a long time and I know how to work with that.

Today was not like that. Today I had to deal with something completely different

I had to talk to a person with whom I had accepted a commission 2 years ago, and the last contact or response I had was in March 2023 -1 year and 7 months-

As we are all strangers on the internet and life can sometimes be very fucked up, I clearly did not make any claim and celebrated they return.

Fortunately I saved they files, and I say this because many artists after a certain period of time close them, send them to avoid legal problems or exactly what just happened to me.

I never added such clauses because i have had 2 cases like that and nothing bad has happened (although never for so long)

But with today I think it was quite naive on my part, because this person began to ask me for changes on a work that had been left with the base coloring, and the lineart already finished.

I agreed to change simple things but I also warned that I was not going to accept more changes that had to do with the pose. Not only because of all the time it took (you can change your tastes, and if you liked something before, and now you don't) but it is unfair to me, to my time and my current pending work.

So I limited the changes to the color section, no different from when other clients ask me for changes once the lineart is finished and accepted.

The person first accepted, then deleted the message and asked me for a refund for the commission, since they was not satisfied with my service .

The truth is that I was quite broken down. Because I had never had or experienced those emotions linked to a client.For me it is something incompatible.

But clearly I am not going to do it, my TOS are clear with the no refunds and the situation is clearly cynical, I have plenty of reasons and explanations as to why, but i dont have the objective of humiliating anyone or generate hatred.

That's why I'm not giving names, I'm not giving pictures or anything. I just want to vent because I feel completely discouraged, because I didn't expect a right hook like that. And it's a bittersweet feeling, and finally I hit the wall after 7 years of work.

It's very easy to show up after almost 2 years and ask for a refund when the work is almost finished, and claim that you're not happy with the results.

But being nice doesn't mean I'm going to allow something like that.

So I'm going to rewrite my TOS to make the same clause as my colleagues, and I'm going to keep this low key and private.

My colleagues will know about name and screenshots, because it's important to be careful with these things. But for the rest, it's not fun for me to start any carnage.

I understand the misunderstanding, I can imagine what this person felt when I set a limit (most people don't like it, it's a bitter pill to swallow) but it's also necessary and it's true that during these 7 years, many people have responded well to it and have even given me excellent treatment or negotiated with me.

I have witnessed at least 200 responses much better than the one I had to read today, so I am able to know, perfectly, that nothing that happened was fair. And that it could have gone better if they hadn't demanded things that way, and in a situation where their actions were not supported.

I know this is different, but my head is now like a pressure cooker, and I needed to let it out, to let it go.

Thank you all, for having accustomed me to such nice treatment, that although today I felt naive, I also felt very lucky to have you to have a bar with which to measure correctly.

A huge hug, from your favorite Pillow.

[puelluna]

Don't worry, I have things drafted. Just...had a death in the family yesterday. So I'm going to need a bit before responses go out.

[medicinemane]

.

[littlemissayu]

TWST Boys as ✨ PARENTS✨(Part 2)

ft: Octavinelle, Scarabia | pt.1; ft.Heartsabyul & Savanaclaw | pt.3; ft.Pomefiore, Ignhihyde | pt. 4; ft.Diasomnia

TW: kids, pregnancy, reader is depicted as female, domestic, fluff

Azul Ashengrotto-

4 very well behaved children. For the majority of the time they are really good kids, listening, getting good grades,and respectful. Until you make one of them angry, bc they will hold that grudge and with find a way to pull a fast on you; yet will they admit they're mad if you simply ask? No. They DO know how to forgive and they do to the people they love. Honestly Azul would be a very gentle parent because he has a soft heart and doesn't think his kids could do anything wrong, definitely the parent who will find some excuse for his kid.Don't get me wrong he knows where to draw the line like if their kicking someone's chair on an airplane. 2 boys and 2 girls, and he would never have it any other way(even if originally he was sort of scared of messing them up).

Jade Leech-

2 kids, two adorable little girls. His daughters were super calm children. When you two first brought your first home you were gald yet worried because she rarely cried throughout the night. All you could think is 'This is so jade's daughter'. Both of your kids are absolutely brilliant and catch on fast. Your 2nd daughter was very into photography and would snap pictures of family and her dad's mushroom garden.One father's day she gave her dad a photo album filled with pictures of him with his family (and his mushrooms & terrariums); he almost cried tears of joy. Jade loves to spoil his little girls, he tries to say no to them but they give him those sad, sad eyes and he just gives in. Very protective of your and your girls, you guys are the most important people in his life.

Floyd Leech-

6-10 kids, two words ; baby machine. He loves seeing you pregnant so he does it over and over again. The most chaotic dad to ever have, wanna egg the neighbors house? He'll help. Wanna troll local Walmart employees? You guys will get kicked out together. Wanna rustle with a good ol' dad in the mud? Let's do it!! To others he may seem like a horrible parent but his kids know he always means best and they love him. He hates parent-teacher conference, bc now he has to listen to some strange rant about his kid for 25 minutes; but the upside is if his kids do really well they get to treat them for whatever they want. He'll also get to be super proud!! He has at least 2-3 sets of twins only one of them is boy-girl, other(s) is boy-boy.

Kalim Al Asim-

9- whenever you tell him you don't want anymore kids!! This man wants a huge family like he had growing up. Most of his kids seem to be super happy go lucky like their dad. He has more self-control by the time he has kids so thankfully he isn't throwing parties everyday, but if his kids want to have one ; go all out!! (Just don't do anything illegal). All his kids are given unlimited cards by the age of 13, he wanted to do 7 but you said it was too young so he agreed on 13. His kids are the life of every party, you either really love 'em or really hate 'em. These kids are 100% either home-schooled or in a prestigious private school and have bodyguards for the obvious reasons being they are Asim kids they have constant threat someone will assassinate/kidnap them. But Kalim is a great dad and his kids love him!! I'm not gonna list all his kids but his first is a little girl <3

Jamil Viper-

2 kids, very strict. He is the first Viper in years to break the long line of servitude to the Asim family. It's hard to break out of certain habits but, although it made his kids super sneaky, it also made them work really hard to not have dad be disappointed. His kids are super smart and always on top of their class. Like their dad they are very talented, his daughter takes up painting and martial arts, and his son takes up spelldrive and culinary. Jamil may be strict but he is also a very proud parent, as his kids seem to always do amazing things. He does tell them when he's proud and tells them how great they're doing and how much he loves them. Lucky for them they also inherited his gorgeous hair.

Octavinelle Masterlist

Scarabia Masterlist

TWST Masterlist

[kingdoms-and-empires]

After Dark Review (Zombies!)

I recently had to go travel and read a few works that I never got around to reading but was interested in.

PLEASE REMEMBER THIS REVIEW IS DONE BY ME AS A READER AND IS MY OWN OPINION.

This means I will review in accordance to my own tastes, how the game caters to me, and what I feel. Do not take my word as gospel, what I may not be interested in or dislike, may be what YOU are interested and love!!!

@dalekowrites

Synopsis:

A few years from now, in Little Peak, Michigan, a teenager is ready to go to sleep.

While the heavy industry is more active than ever, the effects of global warming are evident, with higher temperatures, dying bees, and animals acting weird.

It has simply been another normal Wednesday, but little do people know that it’s the last day of normality Mother Nature has granted them.

After Dark is a scientifically accurate apocalyptic horror. You’re tired of zombies rising from the ground for no reason? You don’t believe in ghosts? Glittering vampires aren’t for you? Then you have to try one of the three different stories that unfold in After Dark.

When a global pandemic starts to transform people into dangerous monsters, which path will you choose? Will you fight for humanity? Will you stay for your family? Or will you run away in search of a better future?

Review:

The Good: Why does every IF Zombie game have the authors kill themselves in the coding department? This is in the good section, so it isnt a bad thing, though sometimes I worry for the sanity of the author lol. Anyways, After Dark is ambitious! Here are some of the things the author implemented:

Three different routes with three completely different stories. (1 is being worked on right now, the other two have not yet been implemented yet as far as I know)

A phone with a social network, gallery for the ROs, a newsletter, and a weather forecast app... of which you need to charge without it being annoying thankfully!

Characters remember what you talk about and will bring it up in future conversations, so you cant be two faced lol

A romance autonomy system that you can switch on that allows ROs to flirt with you!

Random encounters to encourage re-playability.

An inventory system.

A weather system, that can be prepped for using the weather app on your phone.

Hourly progression system, there are only a set amount of hours in a day that you can use to do things without affecting you.

Discoverable side stories.

A private journal that keeps track of stuff for you. Kinda Elder Scrolls coded and i jive with it haha

And crazy enough, there's more. The above sounds complicated and overwhelming, but it isnt for the reader somehow. The author was able to integrate all the above without it feeling intrusive or annoying.

As for the story itself, remember this is currently one route. The writing is well done, it isnt overly flowery or super descriptive to the point of walls of text. Instead it gets to the point effectively and without losing points.

It made me want to read more, and that is exactly what we readers look for as we scour the IF space for more stories.

ABBY

I really like Abby. She's the preggo lady you can find, and I love the humanity she brings to the story. She does some things thatll make you go:

All of the characters feel grounded and not tropey if that makes any sense. And the dynamics of the group can change with the MC's input, or lack of it.

And then food. Holy shit, the need for food actually felt immersive lmao, whenever id find a snack or something id snatch that mfer up

The Bad:

I would like more zombies. The characters, the narrative, and the plot works well. But I'm worried of being presented with more human on human conflict/drama instead of the undead, and to that I recommend the author to introduce more scenes where we can see the horror, eeriness, and sadness that such an apocalypses would induce. Make a scene where the player is being chased by the undead because of a fuck up, it can be MC's or one of the characters to create tension or drama and it can even make an RO moment occur. Or a scene where you can enter a school, or one of the FEMA camps and see the aftermath of an incident where the zombies break in or someone infected got in. Of course, the author is steadily updating, and what I just said may very will be in the cards of a future update! But I do think something involving the zombies should occur sooner than later, as the beginning scene with the parent and the chaos, horror, and tension of the scene still stayed with me, and i was hoping to reach those emotional heights again while playing!

The Ugly:

Other than a few gender variable errors of the ROs and the regular grammar mistakes found in any IF, the biggest issue i had was with presentation. I'd recommend the author to clean up the spacing between paragraphs in the future when they have time alongside the new update.

The Aftermath:

Zombie IFs just don't seem to miss. Almost all are able to land within the "good" category whenever one releases, and this has the potential to land right in the "Chef's Kiss" tier. I'd recommend this game to anyone craving a zombie IF, and im excited to see this develop more in the future! The characters are grounded, flawed but not annoyingly, and capable. The story is plausible, and the narrative makes sense. Honestly? I want more and I want it now!

[animeomegas]

Headcanons for Dabi and Todoroki (separate) with a super loving and sappy Alpha? Snuggling him whenever they can, making him breakfast in bed, absolutely disgustingly cute compliments, getting him a gift or at least some candy once week. Just a total simp.

Aww, this ask is just too cute!! <33 I live for alpha being a complete simp for their omega. Enjoy~

WHEN THEIR ALPHA IS A COMPLETE SIMP

Dabi has a lot of conflicting emotions about an alpha like this, and it's definitely a journey for him.

At first he thinks you're making fun of him.

Then he thinks that you're a bit pathetic tbh.

And finally, when you refuse to give up, he decides you're totally insane to be so smitten with him. He really has no idea how or why.

Eventually he just accepts that you're weird and lets you get on with it.

Of course, he finds himself slipping into loving the constant positivity and adoration, slowly but surely.

He comes back from a running some villainous errands one day, and he's aching and sore and his mind starts wandering, wondering what you're going to have set up for him.

A hot bath? A lovely homecooked meal? Pizza and a film?

He starts trying to guess, until it suddenly hits him.

Oh.

He's being spoiled by an alpha who has made their desire to mate with him very, very clear, and...

He likes it. He's used to it. He doesn't want it to end.

Oh no.

He almost turns around a books it, but then he thinks about how sad and worried you'd be if he didn't go home, and shit, he's got it bad.

He opens the door slowly. He doesn't know why he can fight heroes, steal from banks and literally murder people just fine, but suddenly opening this door has his heart beating out of his chest. What's wrong with him?

He's greeted immediately with the sight of you cuddled up on the sofa with a pile of blankets and a bowl of fresh popcorn. Popcorn and a film, that's what you had planned. He was close.

Your face lit up as he came in, your beautiful smile directed to him and only him. He felt the urge to crawl into the blankets with you, and he definitely needed to get a grip on that. He'd never felt safe enough to nest before, but you were ruining everything.

"Dabi! Welcome home! I missed you so much," you said. How disgustingly domestic.

"Yeah, I'm back," he said lamely.

"I can see that. Here" -you pat the space on the sofa next to you- "I've picked out that new comedy you wanted to see. Come watch it, unless you need to shower or change first?"

Dabi shook his head, mouth dry, "No, I'm good."

"Great! Come on then!"

He blindly obeyed. This was not part of his plan, but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't feel angry about it.

At first, Todoroki is so confused. And a little embarrassed.

Why are you doing so much for him?

He knows you're in a relationship and that people do things like that sometimes, but you just seems so happy when you're doing things for him?

Is he doing enough for you? He doesn't know.

But this only lasts for a few weeks, or as long as it takes for you or Midoriya to encourage him to embrace being in a healthy, loving relationship, and then he embraces it whole-heartedly!

And it unlocks a (cute) monster.

Todoroki lives to be pampered.

You could definitely use 'my prince' as a pet name, because it absolutely fits him.

He basks in the genuine and constant affection. It makes him feel fuzzy and warm, and he's always reaching out for you.

He quickly turns from the kind of omega who only holds hands in private, to the kind that always wants to sit on your lap and fall asleep on your shoulder, no matter where he is or who is watching.

If you bring him breakfast in bed, or stroke his hair, or bring him gifts for no reason, you get that beautiful little smile from him every time.

He engages spoilt cat mode very quickly.

Todoroki is cuddly, you just have to introduce him to it and then he never gets enough.

Please cuddle him, stroke his hair, buy him soft clothes, cook him dinner, it makes him so content and happy.

At first, Todoroki is so confused. And a little embarrassed.

Why are you doing so much for him?

He knows you're in a relationship and that people do things like that sometimes, but you just seems so happy when you're doing things for him?

Is he doing enough for you? He doesn't know.

But this only lasts for a few weeks, or as long as it takes for you or Midoriya to encourage him to embrace being in a healthy, loving relationship, and then he embraces it whole-heartedly!

And it unlocks a (cute) monster.

Todoroki lives to be pampered.

You could definitely use 'my prince' as a pet name, because it absolutely fits him.

He basks in the genuine and constant affection. It makes him feel fuzzy and warm, and he's always reaching out for you.

He quickly turns from the kind of omega who only holds hands in private, to the kind that always wants to sit on your lap and fall asleep on your shoulder, no matter where he is or who is watching.

If you bring him breakfast in bed, or stroke his hair, or bring him gifts for no reason, you get that beautiful little smile from him every time.

He engages spoilt cat mode very quickly.

Todoroki is very cuddly, you just have to introduce him to it and then he never gets enough.

Please cuddle him, stroke his hair, buy him soft clothes, cook him dinner, it makes him so content and happy.

"I'm home!" you called out as you pushed open the door, carefully manoeuvring the little shopping bag you had clutched in your hand. A smile automatically bloomed on your face as you heard the tell tale sign of Shouto coming to greet you. The sound of his socked feet padding along the floor was just too cute.

"Alpha!"

"My darling boy," you cooed as Todoroki's smiling face came around the corner to greet you. You opened up your arms and he ran into them, squeezing you tightly and nuzzling his face into your shoulder. "How was your day? You must have got back from patrol about an hour ago, right?"

Shouto pulled away and pouted, "You weren't here when I got back."

"I'm sorry," you said, pressing a kiss to his nose and watching as his pout melted away. "I went past that new bakery and I couldn't resist getting you a little something."

Shouto's eyes focused on the little bag in your hand for a moment before taking your hand and bringing you through to the kitchen. You placed the bag on the counter and gently pulled out the box of macarons. The box was half red (strawberry, red velvet, and cherry) and half white (coconut, white chocolate, and cookies and cream). He opened the box slowly, eyes wide.

"They look amazing," he said breathlessly. "Half red and half white?"

"There's nothing as pretty in my opinion," you cooed, ruffling his hair. His little smile lit up the room.

Shouto picked up one of the cherry ones and fiddled around with it for a moment. Taking the hint, you took the macaron from him and held it up to his mouth.

"Open wide, darling."

[nevertheless-moving]

End of The Rope: MDZS AU #8

mdzs au where the junior quartet accidentally activate a rouge cultivator's array and send themselves back in time — post-sunshot, pre-Yiling Patriarch era.

Naturally they seek out Wei Wuxian, the only person they know who might be able to undo the absurdly complex thing.

plot device sidebar: there's a massive yao carcass in the middle of the array — clearly the power source is death based. The four start taking sketches (Mostly Jingyi). Jin Ling swats at a fly, killing it. Eventual cultivation math reveals that the design was ridiculously overpowered. The inventor probably sent himself to the Neolithic era. Hopefully that's — hopefully that's what he was going for because, yeah, this was not designed for round trips. More plot from that later.

Wei Wuxian, currently drinking and pretending that he's avoiding helping with Lotus Pier's reconstruction out of arrogance instead of inability is deeply amused to receive a visit from four miscellaneous cultivators — who he should probably recognize, right? they're the same age as him, wouldn't they have fought in the campaign? I mean his memory is bad but, no his memory is probably bad enough to completely forget these guys. Whatever.

Alright so two Lans, a Jin, and some other sect (Nice guan — sect heir, maybe?) cultivators are here for his help with something important and private that only he can do (weird, but not completely unimaginable. Something too dark for upstanding cultivator's hands?). They really should go to Jiang Cheng for requests, but, eh. He'll hear them out.

They did , in fact, first seek audience with the Yunmeng Jiang Sect Leader for just that reason. They were greeted by the sect leader's sister and, well. No one had the heart to make fun of Jin Ling for stammering briefly, then turning and running away. They figured they could probably find Wei Wuxian somewhere that sells wine. It didn't take very long.

Here's the thing, Wei Wuxian thinks, staring at the four once they are assured of the room's privacy.

These guys, for all their earnest, off-hand flattery, for as much as they addressed him respectfully, could not be less impressed with him.

One second into the conversation and the Jin is ruthlessly mocking him for his corpse bride attendants with a classic Jin sneer. "What, you don't have any living friends to hang out with?" But he's really not scared, honestly, it's not just posturing, which could mean he's stupid but — also he doesn't seem super mean spirited?? Maybe's he's reading friendliness because the tone is so much like Jiang Cheng when he's joking. Kind of disturbing how similar it is. He kindof wants to ruffle his hair.

The Green one is either joining in an admittedly hilarious bit or defending Wei Wuxian? "I think it's nice! Giving the poor souls a chance to — oh, wait — is it supposed to be intimidating? Oh wow, that's kindof sad, isn't it?"

Lan One, also joining in, absolutely no trace of fear (since when were fucking Lans so at ease around demonic cultivation): "Please disregard my companions. I think it could be very intimidating, to the right sort of visitors, Senior Wei." Senior? Am I even older than you?

Lan Two, a little nervy, but also sitting down and pouring himself a drink?!?: "Kindof over the top though right? I mean, this is exactly the sort of thing you're going to be embarrassed by in —"

"Jingyi! You can't just—"

"What! I'm right! This is totally the sort of 'oh look how evil and scary I am' showmanship that he's going to look back on in 20 years and —"

If the complete and utter disregard of his reputation wasn't enough, they brought him a bribe! Spicy, edible, bribes! And wine! Lans bringing him WINE!

It's crazy, it's definitely crazy — but considering all that — he's almost prepared to believe that might actually be who they say they are, once they start explaining.

Wei Wuxian of course doesn't let them explain much — he knows just enough of time travel theoreticals to know that it either explodes horribly or doesn't actually fix your past mistakes. Until he looks over their notes and figures out what kindof time magic it is they should keep any major changes to themselves — seriously Jin you can destroy your soul with this shit. He'll erase his memory if he has to but — fuck.

He wants. He wants the future where no one's scared of him anymore, not really, not to where they can't sit and share a table with him like a normal person. Where he teaches guest lectures to little Lans and Lan Zhan apparently trusts him enough to help take care of his son as a kid (BABY LAN ZHAN SON! LAN ZHAN HOW ARE YOU SO GOOD ! WHAT A PERFECT YOUNG MASTER YOU RAISED!!") And Shije's son makes fun of him with Jiang Cheng's voice and... he wants.

Which double means they can't explain the terrible things they obviously want to tell him because damn he did not expect to live, what, 20, 30 more years?? Wow! Lan Zhan's not even married yet, and his son is probably 20, so, yeah. Lan Zhan would probably have a super long, elegant courtship — no, no don't tell me. His wife has to be perfect, for you to be such an upstanding young growth — I SAID DON'T ANSWER MY QUESTIONS DO YOU WANT TO TURN LOTUS PIER INTO A CRATER?!?!

Identity Confirmation Aside: Headcanon that Wei Wuxian can in some fashion or another do the genetic stesting thing that fierce corpse's apparently do (ala Nie Mingue's corpse in the Guanyin Temple), which is one way he 'programmed' his armies to attack certain clans and leave alone others. Mildly satisfied that drinking the Jin/Jiang blood was enough to scare them — and ugh, she seriously ended up marrying a Jin?? — okay, okay I won't insult your father! Yeesh. Identity Confirmation Aside Aside: The juniors were less freaked about him drinking blood (they've seen him do that before), and more freaked about their young (oh god is he younger than Zizhen) FLAMBOYANTLY CUTSLEEVE uncle licking Jin Ling's wrist and making WAY too intense eye contact. He was going for demonically intimidating but considering they've all seen him 'cleaning' Lan Wanjii's hands for him after getting street food it came off kindof... yeah. Jingyi gleefully plans on using this against them both at some point in the future. Jin Ling adds another bulletpoint to the Wei Wuxian specific trauma list.

Jin Ling Meta From this AU

My MDZS AU Masterlist

[acourtofthought]

"Lucien is unwanted by everyone, nobody likes him"

"But he is a good male." Cassian's heart strained at the pain etching deep into Lucien's face as he tried to hide his disappointment and longing. "And I came up here because Feyre said I should. I need to kill a few hours before I'm to meet with her and Rhys. She thought I might enjoy seeing Nesta at work." Elain, the wretch, had taken the seat between Feyre and Varian, about as far from Lucien as she could get. But as Eris strode by...I could have sworn there was something like sadness - like regret, as he glanced at Lucien. The Lady of Autumn's favorite son - not only from Lucien's goodness. But because he was the child she'd dreamed of having ...with the male she undoubtedly loved. "He cares for you." "He is a good male," I repeated. / "I don't like to see either of you unhappy." Friends, I realized. They had somehow become his friends. "He'd already made many friends across the courts and had always been good at talking to people." Ups and downs in friendships, misunderstandings, etc., does not mean a character is unwanted or disliked. Rhys was upset with Lucien at various points throughout the series but guess what? Lucien was upset with Rhys too! For good reason, reasons Feyre continued feeding into at the start of ACOWAR. Feyre was upset with Lucien at points throughout the series? He was upset with her too! He called her an asshole to her face and she admitted it to be true. Sarah continues writing scenes for Lucien because he is important to the overall story. Some of those scenes consisted of disagreements, obstacles, overcoming past beliefs, etc., but the point is they were introduced and resolved and led to the characters building a stronger foundation with one another. If Lucien was unwanted than he would simply disappear from the story like Briar, like Hart and Bron, and so on. Instead Sarah continues to connect him to future plots like Koschei, she has the fan favorites (Feyre, Rhys, etc) remind of us of how much they need Lucien because of his connections, she has Feyre JEALOUS that Lucien is choosing to spend time with Vassa and Jurian over staying with her, we're told how Lucien has super special private meetings with only Rhys and Feyre. As of the most recent book we have Cassian feeling sorry for Lucien regarding his situation with Elain (and Cassian thinking nothing of Az's love life). We have Rhys going to bat for Lucien regarding Elain and ordering Az to stop being an idiot. We have Nesta making conversation with Lucien, we have Feyre asking Lucien to check on Nesta's progress, we have Rhys and Feyre inviting Lucien, the only non Night Court / IC character to Solstice (their FAMILY holiday, something not even the wraiths attend) and Starfall. Tamlin turned his back on Lucien? Tamlin turned his back on his entire court. It's called depression and is not some tally mark for anti's to use as proof that Lucien is unwanted. "Elain clearly doesn't want Lucien". And yet she keeps his gifts and has not formally rejected their bond. She had no issues telling Nesta off, no issues returning Az's gift, so why exactly is she so hesitant to tell Lucien to stop coming around if she truly doesn't want him and never will? Nesta also ignored people because she was running from something so chances are good we're seeing the same with Elain. In one breath we've got anti's claiming that Lucien is forgotten, unimportant, unwanted, hated by all. In the next we've got them claiming E/riel is next while Lucien will receive the book after, where he's so important that he'll defeat Koschei alongside Vassa.

[freddy5bear]

Could I request Human Shadow x female reader relationship headcanons? Sfw and nsfw, please and thank you.

First sonic post :D

Human!Shadow x Fem!reader Dating Hcs :3

Sfw!

Can guarantee this man drives you around on the most fabulous motorcycle

Will drive you anywhere almost no questions asked

I have to say if you guys were living together you would be making all of the money, he can't keep a job for more than a month

He knows how hard you work at your job and can't help but feel guilty that he can't really amount to the work that you do so he tries his best to help by cleaning, cooking, and just generally trying to help you with whatever your working on

Man's keeps the house SPOTLESS. You know how much he tries with his skincare why wouldn't it be different when it comes to the cooking and cleaning.

I doubt he's super big on PDA whatsoever. Maybe a little bit of hand holding in a bust place so you don't get lost, but he mostly gives you affection in private.

This man has trauma for days, I think one of the first things you guys figure out in your relationship is Shadows relationship with Maria

If you let him cry on your shoulder, like no reason other than he's sad, the wedding bells are ringing

He is always the big spoon. Refuses to be the little spoon under any circumstances

I doubt he would initiate any and all affection, like he's not opposed but he just doesn't quite understand when something like that should and shouldn't be initiated

He LOVES horror movies, and first person shooter.

If your into that stuff he would offer to play with you, then absolutely kick your ass or baby you until he thinks you can exit the fucking tutorial

NSFW!

7 inches, slight upward curve, circumcised

Again, doesn't quite understand when to initiate so just leaves it to you.

So fucking oblivious to your advances It like actually hurts

He is most certainly a Dom but I can see once in a while he'll let you take over

If he's being a top, maybe a little bit of groaning

If he's a bottom he is whimpering and moaning like nobody else lives around you.

He treats it as more of a stress reliever than an actual intimate activity.

I can see this man being a master in bed, knows everything your into/not into, what pace to go at based on how your feeling

He has probably gotten with a handful of women, but no doubt he's ever been in a serious relationship.

I wanna say power imbalance kink, really into being the stronger one in any situation

Also probably a choking kink in the way he wants to do it to you, again adding to the power dynamic.

He will not cross any boundaries. Ever. If you have expressed that you're unhappy with something in bed he will guarantee to not even speak of it again around you.

Gets really turned on why you are almost shy or embarrassed to ask for what you want.

Its a huge ego boost if you praise him and he loves it. On the other hand it is almost instinct to degrade you to the point of tears.

I'm not really sure about aftercare. Either he cuddles you and helps you clean up or just fuckin leaves you there.

Either way he's expressed he loves you and that your pretty awesome sauce

I was flooded with requests right after my project was finished, I will never see the end of the smut. Prepare to be spoiled y'all, hope this was what u were looking for :D

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

So, the Miraculous Ladybug TV Tropes page recently added this under the Broken Aesop section on the YMMV page:

Adrien/Cat Noir had many instances where he could have discovered the identity of Ladybug/Marinette, but always respected the private life of his beloved, despite knowing that learning it would bring them closer (The only time when he learned it accidentally, Adrien was punished with the apocalypse, no less, and a Retcon.) His attitude was presented as the right thing to do. In the meantime, Alya has been akumatized on the fact she wanted to know Ladybug/Marinette's secrets. Both times, she tried to violently force the issue with her powers and the second time was after she tried pressuring her into revealing them. But, as a reward for her pushy behavior, Alya has been entrusted with Ladybug's identity and the secrets of the Miracle Box. And Adrien's reward for respecting her privacy? He's still (and more and more) left in the dark, and will very likely be the last one to know.

Any thoughts?

I don't fully agree, but it's also not exactly wrong.

I love Alya, but I've never been a fan of the fact that she learned Marinette's secret identity, especially because the episode where it happens - Gang of Secrets - really failed to make the confession feel like a wise move. It's one of the many episodes with a wacky moral.

For those who don't remember, the episode has most of Marinette's female friends worrying about her. They know that she's keeping secrets because, for some reason, Marinette didn't tell anyone about her breakup with Luka:

Rose: They were so cute together! Alya: Yeah, except they broke up. Juleka: He was like super sad when they did. Alya: But the real problem here is that Marinette never told us anything. If Luka hadn't told Juleka, who told Rose, who told Mylène, who then told Alix, who finally told me. Then I, her BF in the whole world would still be in the dark! Yesterday I was in the restroom and I heard her crying.

This is... really weird. Why didn't Marinette tell them? The episode never explains and I can't figure out her logic because they'd obviously learn the truth. There's no way that Juleka wouldn't know!

My best guess is that the writers wanted a conflict over secrets, but they didn't want to have Marinette's girl friends pick up on her Ladybug-based lies as that would invite a level of complexity that they really can't resolve. But that's a meta reason. As far as the actual text goes, there's nothing to explain this baffling choice.

What's even more weird is that making it about the Ladybug secrets would have worked if Alya was the only one worried because the episode ends with Alya learning the truth. Having the episode only be about Marinette and Alya would make a lot of sense. Instead, it's about the whole, rarely-seen girl group so we're stuck with the Luka conflict. Yay.

Either way, I'm not wild about the actions Alya and Co take. Their first choice is to call Marinette. When she doesn't pick up, they leave a very sweet message. If things ended there, then we'd be fine, but right after that, we get this:

Alya: Maybe we should go to her house. What do you think? Mylène: We'll give her an eternal friendship bracelet so she never forgets that friends can tell each other anything and that we'll always be there for her.

This isn't a terrible idea. Checking on a friend when you're worried about them is a reasonable thing. The problem is the way that check up goes down. The girls basically invade Marinette's room and start messing with her stuff like this is some fun little hangout session, almost discovering the miracle box in the process:

Marinette: What are you doing here? Alya: We're just checkin' in on you, girl. Rose: Aw, it looks just like a real house, look how the roof comes off to show the inside! Marinette:(frantically) No! No, don't touch that! Move away! (As Rose opens the roof, Marinette gets down, pushing past through her friends and Rose as she hides what is inside of the dollhouse, while Rose accidentally drops the roof, which cracks. The girls gasp in shock.) Rose:(kneels to pick up the cracks) Sorry, Marinette! Marinette:(angrily) Will you please leave my room?! Alya: Chill out Marinette, it's just a doll house. We'll totally help. Marinette: No you won't, please go! Alya: Okay Marinette, there's clearly something wrong and we're not leaving you like this till you tell us what it is.

The scene goes on like this until Marinette lashes out and tells them to get out even if it means ending her friendship with them, which is a response that I find totally justified. Marinette is quite obviously very distressed by her friends' presence and they are refusing to listen to her pleas to leave. They're also giving that refusal in a highly confrontational manner, which is the completely wrong tone for conveying concern. They do not come across as caring. They come across as demanding.

Marinette has every right to be upset by that. It's okay to not want people to invade your room, touch your stuff, and demand to know you're secrets. It's also okay to get upset when people keep ignoring your clearly stated and perfectly reasonable boundaries.

While I fully support wellness checks, this is not how you do them. It's like a variation on the scenes where people confront Gabriel in Adrien's name. They're all impressively terrible examples of how you handle a very complex situation. Worst possible way you could go about it. Children, do not try this at home!

Of course, Marinette's justified reaction leads to the girls getting akumatized, leading to a fight, leading to Ladybug saving the day, leading to everyone being friends again even though the girls never apologize for how they went about their wellness check. Rose's quick sorry for breaking Marinette's doll house is the only one we get in the entire episode. Then we get this:

Alya: You go ahead girls, I just have one last thing to say to Marinette. (closes the door to Marinette's room) You didn't tell us everything, did you? A journalist and a BFF can tell these things. I won't try to figure it out or force it out of you. (sits beside Marinette) If you can't tell me what's in your heart, it's your right. Marinette: Will we still be friends? Alya: Marinette. I'm your best friend, and I'll always be. That's why it kills me that I can't help you with whatever's making you feel so alone. (Alya sighs, and is about to leave Marinette's room when Marinette grabs her hand.) Marinette: Alya, wait! Stay. You're right, I am alone. (grows increasingly emotional) More than ever before. I can barely take it anymore! You know why I broke up with Luka? Not because I don't like him, he's amazing! It's 'cause there's something that I can't tell him. You know why I have to forget Adrien? For the exact same reason! You're right, I keep secrets, I lie all the time! I lie to my friends, to my parents, to everyone and the worst thing is, I can't do it any other way! Alya: There's always another way. Marinette: No, not this time. I have no choice. All this is bigger than us, Alya. Way too big. Alya: If it's too big, two of us can handle it better than one. Marinette: If I tell you, things will never be the same between us again. (shakes her head) It'll mess up everything, maybe even destroy it. Alya:(voice breaking) Marinette, I'm your very best friend. Marinette: And I… I'm Ladybug.

Maybe this is just me, but this doesn't feel like Alya respecting Marinette's boundaries. It's certainly not as bad as the earlier scene. In fact, I like a lot of this in a vacuum, but because of that earlier scene, this one feels uncomfortable. Once again, Alya is so sure that she knows what she's talking about even though she really doesn't.

In the first scene, Marinette was right that they all needed to get out so that she could protect the Kwamis and in this scene she was right that the Ladybug reveal wasn't the kind of thing where sharing was the clear right choice. This would all play so much better if Alya said her first few lines and then actually left, only to be called back by Marinette several hours later. Then we'd really feel like Marinette was making an informed choice instead of revealing her identity in a panic.

Another option would be to have Alya offer comfort without needing to know what is upsetting Marinette, maintaining the secret identities while also giving Marinette some much needed support. Saying she'll support Marinette no matter what and then getting up to leave just doesn't feel super supportive to me. It feels like Alya is (unintentionally) making Marinette panic by saying one thing while technically doing another.

Remember, Marinette just had a really stressful day where she almost lost all of her friends, making this an incredibly charged moment that ends with Alya leaving while clearly disappointed. Of course Marinette would try to salvage that! Her brain isn't focusing on Alya's genuine words. It just sees Alya leaving and panics. It doesn't help that this opening line would put a lot of people on edge:

You didn't tell us everything, did you? A journalist and a BFF can tell these things.

"I know you're still keeping secrets, but I respect that" is not the best way to start a conversation with someone who is clearly struggling.

Because of these issues, I don't feel like Marinette truly decided to make this serious choice. I feel like she blurted it out in the middle of a panic attack, so this scene never gave me a warm fuzzy feeling. This is especially true because we never get to truly see the fallout of Alya processing the reveal and comforting Marinette. The scene just ends and the next episode has them back to their usual dynamic, just with the bonus element of Alya knowing the whole Ladybug thing.

To be fair to Alya, a lot of this comes back to our oft-discussed issue of Miraculous trying to speed run major story lines in 20 minutes because it's a formula show so it can't let things play out properly. That doesn't change the fact that this feels rushed and unsatisfying. It's not the natural conclusion to an episode where Alya learns to respect Marinette's boundaries, but I don't think that's actually the lesson here. The lesson seems to be that Marinette should share her secrets with her friends to lessen her mental burden.

Once again, that's a lovely lesson in a vacuum, but a really weird one for the show that gave us Chat Blanc and Miracle Queen in the previous season and that will include Sentibubbler, Ephemeral, and Nino accidentally outing Alya to Gabriel in the exact same season. Season five will even see Luka leave the country because he knows the secret identities!

Writers, when it comes to secret identities, you really need to pick a lane. Are they good or bad? Is sharing them a No Good Very Bad Thing, an act of trust, or no big deal? The inconsistency around this topic is a major issue for the show as the Alya reveal really undermines everything going on with Ladynoir. While there's solid logic for Ladynoir not sharing, similar logic applies to Alya at this point because Gabriel literally knows her secret identity! Through no fault of her own, Alya is not a safe person and that makes it really hard to watch Alya get the reveal while Adrien stays in the dark. I can justify him not knowing. I can't justify Alya knowing.

I'll wrap this up by saying that I don't agree that Adrien has respected Ladybug's boundaries to the point where it feels like he should have been rewarded (narratively speaking, of course. This is a story after all). He may not be all that pushy about an identity reveal, but he's pretty freaking pushy about Ladynoir becoming a thing, so Ladybug not being ready to trust him does feel earned. Plus, as I said above, it's not like there's no logic behind them keeping their identities a secret. We know that they're dating on the civilian side, but as far as they know, they're total strangers.

If you look at it from that perspective and ask, "what are the benefits of a reveal," you'll find that they're not overwhelming, especially when compared to the risks that come with a mind-controlling super villain on the loose. I totally get why Marinette isn't telling him a thing, I'm just not really sure why she needed to tell Alya. The more logical route here is for Marinette to keep her secrets and look for support on the Ladybug side of things. Ideally that support should be Chat Noir or Su-Han, but it could be Alya, too. I still think that's a bad call since Alya's identity is in the villain's hands, but it would still make more sense than Marinette telling Alya all of her secrets. Another route would be for Alya to learn by accident. She walks in at the wrong time and, ooops, no taking that back. That's the only way I'd personally write Alya learning at this point in the story.

Sorry if this one was a bit of a ramble, the writing around the topic of secret identities is one of the elements I truly don't understand. I have no idea what the writers are doing here. It's not even a "you didn't think this through" thing like the sentimonster stuff. It's a "you spent all of last season telling us that identity reveals are bad and you're about to spend all of this season also telling us that, so why do we randomly get an identity reveal that's magically okay? Rena Furtive doesn't even do anything useful for the plot, why make her a thing?? Are you even trying to tell a coherent story???"

[wannaeatramyeon]

i'm dying, i'm deceased, your content is so satisfying, ramen! it's like having a good meal! also, with the amount of injuries the guys are getting, i imagine they're (hopefully) seeing a medic quite often. i wonder if in the process of being patched up by them, by being seen at their most vulnerable, after having the brain cells beat out of them, they would start feeling something for their medic? all gentle touches after a brutal fight~ i imagine gun and sammy would be seeing them the most, but feel free to add others. hope you've been doing well!! 🌺

Hi! Are you my flower anon? (Sorry new laptop - emojis look a bit different). I have been feeling... wild lately. Hope you are doing well too! Thanks for sending this in and AGAIN SO SORRY FOR THE SUPER LATE RESPONSE. My bio should really read day late and a dollar short.

Medic!Reader tending to Samuel Seo, Gun Park, Johan Seong

Word had gotten round that for the right price, you would tend to anyone.

Of course that's not the only reason you're the go-to medic for many of your seedier clients. You're quick and efficient, with some even describing you as a miracle worker. Along with your zipped lips and diligence for confidentiality-

Well. It's no wonder you've paid off your med school loans in record time.

"Again?" you sigh, arriving and taking in the scene before you.

.

.

Samuel Seo

If surveyed, nine out of ten people would describe Samuel as hot.

The last person would no doubt have a terrible sight impairment. Shame. How sad. A tragedy indeed.

So when you, time and time again, go to work on Samuel's body, cleaning his wounds, stitching him up, seeing his exposed skin and naked body with a blank face and purely professional manner.

Well. Samuel doesn't know what to do with that.

You intrigue him and he wants a reaction.

So he's the one that talks to you. Small snippets of his life, hoping to impress you. He notices you're not moved by his strength, the power he wields, the people he commands. Even his penthouse, furnished with the best money can buy and his designer clothes does nothing for you.

You usually remain neutral until today, Samuel gets what he wants. You laugh a little at his response-

"Something about my face must be punchable,"

His heart flutters when he hears your laughter ring out. He's not sure if you're laughing at him or with him, but surprisingly, his ego doesn't seem to mind.

.

.

Gun Park

Gun remembers the first time you attended to him, courtesy of Charles Choi and a benefit of his position.

You didn't flinch at his black eyes or the bleeding wound that sat between them. Instead, cleaning him up with a startling efficiency he couldn't help but admire.

Methodical and competent, Gun was deeply impressed as he watches your hands flying over him, dipping into your med bag for something now and then.

The speed should come with roughness but your touches are gentle. Grazing over his skin and leaving goosebumps in your wake.

When you lean in close, examining if there is anymore to be done or if it would leave a mark he would just have to deal with - you make a joke that it wouldn't matter anyway, the scar would add to his handsomeness; Gun's throat dries up at the intensity of your eyes staring at him.

Huh. And it's usually Gun that has that effect on people.

From then on, Gun likes to think it was by pure coincidence that his body began becoming more and more littered with scars. It absolutely had nothing to do with your words or how much he looked forward to seeing you.

At your exasperated 'again', he smiles.

.

.

Johan Seong

Manager Kim directs Johan over to you. You've seen this type of patient before.

Cagey and prickly, like it's a show of weakness to be tended to by someone and annoyed to not be left to lick their wounds in private.

You remain quiet and professional until you're on the receiving end of one too many agitated huffs and impatient leg bounces making your job of bandaging this brat up so much harder-

"Sit still!" you snap with force and authority. Johan does, and looks at you with wide eyes.

Something about your tone makes him gulp and he fights back the blood rushing to his cheeks.

He thinks about your voice, commanding and sharp, juxtaposing with your gentle hands checking on him. The proximity of your body is slammed into sharp focus and Johan feels a rebellious urge to make you reprimand him in that strict tone of yours again.

Ughhhh.

Why is his shirt collar so tight, why is his tie so constricting? And why the hell is he feeling so hot and bothered?

Shit, the penny drops. Have I got a thing for this?!

[mynoiii]

Tigeress and prince Renae headcanons

Cause no, I will not stop talking about them. They are my absolute favorites, and I need to see them on my timeline more often

These are just some silly things I made up in the AM, some of these are angsty and kinda sad LOL so enjoy lol.This got super Long for some reason? lol. Might do other characters cause this is fun, i enjoy talking into the void.

Grammer was not checked.

Also, snice more content is coming out. I'm hoping that around next year, I can post a newer video in regards to more lore and new things I've discovered since my last video 🫠

_________________________🐅👑_________________________

When the prince and tigeress were kids, he made a deal with her that she would be his ' right hand man ' when he became the king/emperor

The queen made tigeress take Etiquette classes to tame her wild and big personality; she failed.

The queens next best bet was to sign tigeress up to be his knight when she's older

Tigeress father knew the two had a crush on each other and found it pretty funny

The two would sneak into balls to watch the dances and listen to exchanges, snice they weren't old enough to attend themselves yet

Tigeress mother was actually from a well-respected old money rich family ( not in the empire, I'm thinking more stealgate ), but she was disowned after running away with pirates

They both have " spoiled rich kid " Attitudes.

The prince is more petty, but tigeress knows how to humble him

They've been friends from snice they we're 6years old to 14years old

Tigeress is the shortest out of all the listeners

Both in the old series and new one tigeress reputation gets around fast, intica looks for the ship often on their seas in hopes they can tempt/convince her to join their army

The prince would sometimes watch and listen to tigeress father teach her new fighting techniques snice he himself can't join in to learn, her father has made efforts to let him join the lessons..but he wants to follow his mother's orders and chooses to sit out

The prince is a hardcore lightweight compared to tigeress who can handle her liquor

These two would find places to hide together in the castle, and it would stress EVERYONE out, eyes gotta be on them 24/7, or THEY WILL go missing for a good few hours

The prince shows tigeress old historic things from around gorgeous era. They both love reading old journal entry together and learning about the old world.

Castle staff loved watching the two hangouts and playing with each other. They got sad when tigeress ' left ' the castle. The prince never looked so sad and bored in his life.

Sad headcanons cause their my personal favorite

The prince father passed away before he was born

For some reason, tigeress mom never trusted Darius, and while she was alive, she made sure her daughter was never in his way

Tigeress mother passed away due to illness when she was 8; 14 is when her father was hanged.

To remember tigeress the prince kept her old play sword; he also kept any ' treasures ' she would give him after her and her father left the empire for ' business ' this is where his love of gold accessories comes from.these items are hidden away from his mother

Tigeress does not call Darius ( the new captain ) captain. She calls him by his name and sticks to that only, she kinda does not recognize him as her captain, but she wouldn't openly admit that

Tigeress does not allow ANYONE to touch or wear her father's old captain hat. She herself doesn't even wear it. Darius was forced to get a brand new one commissioned, and tigeress made sure it didn't look like her father's

On the ship, her father had a private captain study, only he, his wife, and, of course, tigeress was allowed in. After his death, only one key remained. Tigeress has that key and has locked the room snice his death; no one is allowed in the room. Ever.

The prince watched the shoreline everyday in hopes he would see his old friends ship dock.he stopped watching when he turned 17

While the prince mother lied to him about tigeress were abouts he would Secretly give sailors missing flyers in hopes his friend would return

The queen was generally confused when she could not find tigeress after her father hanging. She had sent the guards to the shore lines, across the city, even checked some of her and the prince hiding spots in the castle...but nothing came up she gave up looking after 3 days and deemed she was just taken.

Dispite Tigeress not being the most high rank on the ship now under a new captain her room on the ship is the captains suite, she gave Darius her old room after her father's hanging, Darius allowed this knowing tigeress was extremely close with her parents ( probs the only nice thing he's ever done for her)

Despite her father last wishing of tigeress making it to the ship, she was kicking and scearming, not wanting to leave the empire. It was like a 3 home to her.

She wanted to write renae letters, but Darius stopped her every time in hopes that one day in the future, he could use tigeress for a bigger plan, AKA kidnapping the prince when she was an adult.

Lol that's it, this was fun ☺️🤪

Might do a post about how all the cast feels about eachother cause that would be fun.

[lowkeyrobin]

Hii, can you write some dating headcanons of Stevie? Nobody writes about him 😭

hello, and yes! ik on my masterlist/characters I write for I have it as platonic only but most of these could be read as platonic if you're older, I kept the more romantic ones at the bottom if that's cool so yeah 👍 I kept him & ruben as such bx I'm a little too old for them and I see them as like babies compared to me so yeah 💀 but I got you dw lol

STEVIE ; dating/platonic headcanons

warnings ; language, talk of familial abuse & neglect, alcohol, substances, use of f-slur (I can say it guys PLEASE)

masterlist

protecting him on the streets is a must

he's newer to this skating shit and "running around with thugs"

if he can't go home for whatever reason, he's got a home at your place or on the couch at motorz

ray locks you guys in and you're good for the night, he just can't give you the keys cause he doesn't wanna get fired

he vents to you whenever he needs to

at a point he gets all "wannabe hard boy" and shoves you away while he becomes a fucking hard-core alcoholic

"Dude, what the fuck did I do to deserve being shoved away?"

"Go away! Don't you ever fucking listen? Shut the fuck up! You're just like my mom!"

damn okay moody ass bitch

you stay up at night thinking about how you thought you were grateful for the whole 'fuckshit wrecking the car' thing because it changed both him, ruben, and fuckshit (and their relationships) for the better

for a while he forces you to just let him watch you skate and stuff because he's super unmotivated too and doesn't wanna spiral like before

but in time, he warms back up to it

he's the one borrowing your clothes tbh

the only thing you ever touch of his are hats that you steal to tease him

romantic stuff below!

you put stickers on his forehead 24/7

putting random braids in his hair for no reason in private

he's scared he'll be called a fag or smthn but yk he won't

he just has a touchy partner , it's normal lol

your relationship is purely wholesome, yall r like 13 so chill

nothing happened between him n estee either bc wtf was that scene jonah

you hand him a mixtape before you leave to go home titled "for stevie <3" and when I tell you he crumbled when he accepted that he was finally learning that he could trust you and let you in

like his family issues always had him fucked up but Ray was like "Dude that's not pussy shit??? they really like you, man"

he just sat there for a moment like "omg holy shit this isn't just some fake shit that'll last a month tops they actually give a shit"

he listens to it when he's skating alone and shit

always reminds to kiss from a rose or wonderwall

he learns a lot from you and takes it to heart, like he learns to just be a normal, functioning person in society and how to behave and act and shit

like he hasn't had anyone to rlly be there to correct his mistakes or beat his ass til you LMAO

like he learns actual life skills and shit from you like how to write checks and and how long to boil noodles it's honestly sad

mostly the hug-you-from-behind kinda guy bc he's still learning how to show his love and shit

gives you puppy dog eyes without even knowing it

he's just so mesmerized by you sometimes

idk this is all I got

[menlove]

yknow your fantastic post about closeted paul and how he's (probably) come to accept his queerness/bisexuality, but simply keeps it private for multiple reasons? what would you say was john's case?

(i personally believe he was a closeted gay man but idk how to Phrase Things. Sigh.)

oh i 10000000% believe john was a gay man with a lot of Problems. like. i know, i know, in later life he talked about liking men & women & we have that hysterical "john lennon's bisexual guide to gardening" quote but likeeeeeeeeee.... idk. here's my Speculations under the cut

several things, to me. yes, he fucked a lot of women (a lot). but of the 4 of them, during the beatles years he really didn't.... have any steady girlfriends. it's not like he was the only married one and it's not like he had any hangups about cheating, so it's really not that. the ONLY rumor there is was one that he "dated" an older woman (blanking on her name rn) and even thennnn those rumors were, afaik, just based on the fact that he was kind of sad when she died & that he viewed her as a mother figure. which is... i mean that's not convincing like at all to me.

the Three Biggest Relationships in his life w women were cynthia, yoko, and may pang. the rest were women he fucked around with as one night stands. again, as far as i'm aware. and cynthia..... well it's not really hard to see that he very much (unfortunately) did not give that much of a fuck about her. it's the most classic case of comphet i've ever seen. he dated her bc he was supposed to & then he married her bc she got pregnant and he was supposed to.

and yoko....... lord. i won't deny that he loved her. but it was, from literally everything we've seen, a very obsessive love that had less to do w their personal chemistry and more to do with Circumstances. and even with her, there's sooo many quotes of him talking about how he liked her bc she looked like a man, or looked like him in drag, or acted like a bloke/best mate. that's. not to doubt him but that's just not something someone into women says lmfao.

and that's not to mention the whole debacle w probable conversion therapy. and like. this is no hate to yoko & again i believe she was a flawed individual just like any of them were & we have truly got to embrace her morally gray status just like any man bc we can't demonize OR idealize women when women are Literally Just People. but from some of her quotes & outside sources she was very uncomfortable w the idea of his queerness. and hell, there's the "you think of rock hudson when we do it" line, which is both honestly pretty fucking homophobic but also very indicative of where john was, sexuality wise

and as for may, that whole situation was honestly so fucked up and tragic for Both of them that getting into it would take a novel but like. that wasn't exactly his first choice in partner

and in his quotes about Being Into Men, what he says is basically that with women he is fine fucking without an emotional connection but w men he needs that emotional connection & he hasn't found that with a man. which i think is him bullshitting, btw, but the core of it there that he can't fuck a man without emotions is... well that's really telling. it seems like sex with women to him is just sex, whereas sex with men to him is a deep, emotional thing. and that's, again, just not really something someone into women would be saying with their chest

i'm pretty sure he Also has a quote about never having found a woman attractive which is just telling all on its own

and as for Being Into Men...... well he talked about it himself. but also, there's at LEAST stuart, paul, and brian that would go right at the top of the list for me of men he had an incredibly close & intimate relationship with, one-sided or not. i don't think it's incidental that he referred to paul constantly as his other partner in life, his other marriage, etc while like. literally barely ever mentioning cynthia. like it's super telling, the johnandpaul of it aside, that he talks more about his Boy Best Friend when talking about past marriages than his literal wife lmfao

i think he had a LOT of internalized homophobia & anger with himself over it ("scared of his inner fag" as he said). bc of that, i don't think he let himself get as close to the men he was probably in love with as he wanted to be, or even let himself acknowledge just how emotionally attached he was to them. by the end of his life, i think he WAS coming to terms with liking men, at least. was he coming to terms with Not liking women? i don't know. probably not, although i know his and yoko's marriage was in a rough place by the end of his life so who knows really.

i would hope that if he'd lived that by now he would've found peace w his sexuality, bi or gay, but that's not the world we got unfortunately

[icypantherwrites]

Given my last post, I wanted to take a moment to say thank you to those who reached out to me. It means a lot ♥ I don't have the energy to respond to each person individually, but please know that for now I am okay. Full disclosure, I actually meant to post that on my private 'shouting into the abyss' blog where I try to get more of my negative feelings out without potentially upsetting or hurting anyone else, but I apparently didn't select the correct profile this time. I'm super sorry for both the concerning content and also for not responding as I don't have Tumblr alerts on my phone and was unaware until I came on today for the mix-up.

Below is an author's note that I just uploaded along with chapter four of Here that I wanted to post here as well given it's not exclusive to that fanfiction (but to note it was written for an update hence some of the wording) and in a way relates to my previous post and where my mental health is right now.

Thanks for reading and thank you again to those who reached out. I truly appreciate it and your concern.

Author's note:

A more of a serious note now and it is a bit long, but if you can, please read as it’s important. As you may have realized, this chapter is a month out from the last update and the main reason for that is I have been really, really struggling with my mental health. I’ve been trying to get some space from some of these key culprits online (which is pretty much fanfiction) as unfortunately I can’t do the same with a lot of the one I deal with on a daily basis of family and friends and work, but every time I try to come back there’s just another nail there in the coffin reminding me of why I stepped back. I’m a giver and always have been and unfortunately the vast majority of the fanfiction world and people in my life are takers. And I’m just… drained. I feel stretched thin and worn down and taken for granted and to always have people asking for more more more and not appreciating all that I am doing and have already done just makes me feel even worse and then guilty I’m not able to do more for the people that are supportive and it’s a constant cycle. I’m exhausted. I’m depressed. I’m really hurting.

And unfortunately I know there’s a bunch of people on here who don’t care and won’t care and will bitch at me for expressing these feelings because they can only compare what they see of my fanfiction to their own and heaven forbid I dare feel upset about a lack of engagement or thoughtful comments because it’s more than they get. I don’t care. I’m not comparing it, they are. It’s the same concept of saying ‘what do you have to be depressed about? You have a well paying job and own a home and don’t have cancer (thankfully biopsy came back negative) and aren’t starving so you can’t be depressed. It doesn’t work like that (and for anyone who knows even an inkling of that feeling personally, hugs to you) and I’m so tired of being told what I should be feeling and attacked when I don’t measure up to some impossible standard. I’m trying. I’m trying every day to stay here, to be the support pillar I’ve always been for everyone in my life, online and in person, and to try to find the joy and positivity that always drags me out of my black hole before I’m lost to it. I am trying to continue to post my stories even when there’s barely anyone engaging on my other platform and same here where there are far less engaged readers than hits and kudos would indicate because I know how much it sucks to have a story be abandoned and I also know how important a lot of the support in my stories is to many (believe me, I know because that’s how I got into this genre and niche because I needed it too). I was trying to engage myself with readers in comments, find that spark again for my writing that I’ve come to just feel sad about. It’s hard. But I’m trying.

And all I can ask is that if you are a fan of my works, please, help support me. Leave a thoughtful comment about the story/chapter when you read it (you can always come back too, story will still be here). Have patience and kindness if updates take a while. Don’t post comments demanding an update or saying you never comment but wanted to let me know you were commenting now because you want another update (that is not the support you may think it is xD). If you can't say anything nice than say nothing at all (that includes unsolicited advice and attacks upon my person and character that too many folks think is okay to do in an online forum). Remember that authors are people too and we have a lot of stuff going on that you don’t know about in our own lives. Please just… be kind. Be thoughtful. And be a bright light against this black hole ♥ Thanks for reading and look forward to hearing what you thought of the chapter :)

[tarnussy]

Ok I have to ask about the tags on the Malenia fandom post... How the hell did they try to make Godrick a pedophile

There are 2 occasions that stood out to me: According to the first one, he is a pedophile and a rapist because the dead dragon didn't consent to be grafted (like???). Then there was mention of the grafted scions as well, tho that was in a separate post if I remember correctly. (Of course, creepy kids when Godrick -> bad!!! Creepy kids when Rennala -> good) This wasn't on a small account either, and like so, a whole eco chamber decided it's now canon. Based on who this person's fav character is, this assumption was extremely hypocritical. They called out this behavior from fans against their fav character (which was right 100% to call them out) but then, they turned around and did the same behavior they resented so much, this time against people who like Godrick (I assume bc usually his fans stay quiet or just ignore it, or are bullied off the site). Second one: person had a client at work who was overly kind in a smarmy way, so he was labeled creepy and "must have been a pedophile" all based on vibes, and then according to that logic they thought Godrick was one too simply based on their personal vibes (and seeing him in the worst faith possible). They had a feeling he was like that, and so people who like him were no different (according to this person). Second person was actively making the fandom as unenjoyable as possible. Their genuine goal was to make fandom experience fucking vile for anyone who liked Godrick (or anyone that liked a character they didn't like, all which I happen to like). And not just this person but a whole group of their besties who flocked to this behavior like flies to a pile of steaming shit. Just because why not, I suppose. I do feel like my experience with ER would have been much better if I never checked the tags or the fandom ever. Which is hard bc I am a creator myself and I used to monitor main tags because of my own posts as well. Before becoming an active blog, I liked nearly every character (M@lenia was my favourite female character back then!) but I'm unfortunately the type of person whose brain holds onto bad memories a lot and also associates characters with bad apples like this. And M@lenia's apples almost all seem super fucking bad. Very similar to stans of Alcin@ Dimitr3scu, same level of witch hunts as well. At this point there is no way I could ever look at M@lenia and not immediately think of all the disgusting, hypocritical and unfair behavior a big portion of her fans have been doing for years. Which is sad bc I think she is a cool character and I think she has chill fans as well who are nice. Too bad they are overpowered by the most loud ones. And it has an extreme level of irony bc this same type of fan is the one to scream into the void how awful Radahn fans are. I can 100% tell, since I am on every single social media for my ER accounts and interact with people everywhere, that Radahn fans are nowhere near on the same level. Sure, they have their arguments or even slightly problematic behavior but it's never at a level of personal witch hunts and ganging up on others. I know a couple of people who (similarly to me) liked both Godrick and M@lenia at some point, and just altogether left the fandom because of the constant attacks and arguments her fans were doing. So this is a way bigger issue than it seems. And ofc anyone who ever dared to speak about it was either witch hunted or ganked in the tags. I had multiple people hit me up in privately about this back when it was going down, so that definitely reassured me it wasn't just my observation. And, you know, fandom should be fun. Why be a petty asshole for no reason? And to a level that is very much harmful in real life? So their "it's just a game" shit-ass argument when you call out this behavior has no place when it comes to organized harassment that affects people in real life. And somehow it's always the perps who cry wolf. And everyone else who is affected should stay quiet in fear of witch hunt against them. You see this wall of text above? This is me keeping it short. Only scraping the surface here.