#i'm not happy with how fandom is on this issue overall

[smolsleepyfox]

Okay so, I attended a VERY local event where Falk was a speaker. By very local I mean there were maybe 20 people in a refurbished bar and he hung out with us after the Q&A.

Things that he mentioned in no particular order:

- PW didn't have a crew on tour until around 2008 and it didn't include a sound tech, that came way later

- they used a refurbished truck they bought in ye olden days and one time Matthew said he smelled fire. They told him it was his croissant. It was not his croissant.

- Falk is the organizer and logistics guy for the tour because (my interpretation) he can't stand not knowing if everything is going okay. Including checking the weather constantly during festival season

- he's also super nervous about his keyboards not arriving when they take a flight. Apparently they have been hidden to prank him before.

- the band knows exactly how to push each other's buttons by now and it is being used lmao

- his favorite video shoot was We don't wanna be no saints because his slimy (his words) character was really fun to play and it was a great location

- the tennis video was just a spur of the moment thing. The biggest issue was actually getting a tennis ball because the location is in the middle of nowhere. Roel had to drive to several stores.

- Yes the staff broke, but they fixed it again lmao.

- Falk has murdered at least four harmoniums by now. Most of them were from eBay. One instrument he actually refurbished himself, he showed us photos it was great.

- Also, the guitars in the Sinners of the Seven Seas video were the original stage guitars. They had to have their entire wiring redone after.

- the water corpse pose in Sinners was something he made up because standing in the water, his legs couldn't move the way he wanted them to for his usual poses. Apparently the entire shoot was very physically demanding.

- rain scenes are fine but My Will Be Done was hard because they used water AND wind, and looking chill while being pelted in the face with artificial rain is rough. Also, there were just literally people standing on the sides throwing leaves into the wind for the scene, which is hilarious to me.

- Falk was HORRIBLY seasick during the filming of Sinners. The ship apparently didn't actually move much but the difference in motion patterns to modern ships and the slanted deck was not fun. He was however very appreciative of the ship itself and the crew that worked it.

- Falk forgot the name of Demons are a girl's best friend during the interview lmao

- when i said i liked his tattoos he got excited to show them and seemed almost annoyed that he started so late in life. He's planning a full sleeve apparently (good for him!)

- I was a bit surprised but even when speaking to people who did use heavy dialect, Falk didn't switch from standard German. Some phrases still slipped out certainly and some pronunciation struggles (ch pronounced as sch are an easy tell) but otherwise nope, nothing. I've heard Attila speak more dialect in BtS videos.

- Falk for his perspective on fandom especially in contrast with Ghost and Sleep Token (I answered an ask about that recently) since I was curious if he had an idea why three bands with similar themes have such a different type of fandom around it. His best guess was that Powerwolf are kind of approachable (case in point that I'm writing this) whereas Sleep Token and Tobias from Ghost are more at a distance.

And lastly, not only did I get a picture, I got the title page of my thesis signed (in green marker because I didn't find anything else at my brother's house). And Falk got a copy of my thesis, since he seemed genuinely happy to read it. I really do hope he likes it!

Overall he was an incredibly down to earth, funny, and kind person even four beers in and very very tired. He said bye to us with a hug as well 🥺

[wc-confessions]

i think a lot of the discourse in the fandom around disability tends to get a bit superficial in nature when it comes to what disabled characters are actually able to do. there's no denying that the way disability is portrayed and talked about within the books is incredibly ableist. the lack of disabled characters that manage to live fulfilling lives without the implication that they'd be better off dead than disabled is a symptom of how much the erins + editors don't have a good understanding of disability.

however there seems to be a general sentiment that every instance of a character retiring or switching ranks for being disabled is inherently negative. my only gripe with this is the lack of counterparts to this rule, but people seem to forget that disabilities are, in fact, disabling. a blind or paraplegic cat may adapt easily in a controlled environment, but we forget that briarlight is paralyzed and lives in a gorge inside a forest, and jayfeather as a warrior would have to navigate combat (an environment that's constantly shifting) while not being able to rely on probably the most important sense in that situation. while i would have no issue if the narrative did allow them to become warriors, because after all those are fantasy books, i don't think the narrative of disabled characters having to accept they won't be able to lead the life they idealized is inherently ableist. briarlight was even a warrior oficially, just with accommodations that allowed her to perform her job in the safest way possible for her.

there's a lot to discuss regarding the ableism in these books. the way briarlight is talked about as if her disability hinders her ability to be happy and fulfilled is terrible. the overall trend of disabled characters dying early and tragically shows a general unwillingness of the authors to come up with interesting ways to accommodate those characters within clan society. i'm not denying the lack of disabled characters who DO act as full warriors is an issue (only examples i can think of are jagged peak and brightheart, but even they have been mishandled by the narrative). but a lot of the discussion seems to revolve around the idea that *individual* characters being unable to perform full warrior duties (like in jayfeather and briarlight's cases) when it might actively endanger them to do so is ableist, when it reality it appears to stem from the idea that "overcoming" disability means being able to do eveything an able-bodied person can.

.

[wilcze-kudly]

I have a question for you!

Do you think Aang is the Zseto of the Air Nomad?

I've seen people theorize about this and I'm a little confused myself. When you try to defend Aang, people get a little narrow-minded because they think you're putting him on a pedestal, that he's perfect, etc. It's okay for characters to have mistakes. Every avatar has mistakes, which makes them unique. I know some Aang stans are pretty aggressive. But for me, that's not the case. It's just that they're trying to expand other perspectives of Aang's character. There are so many debates about his character, but these ones just baffle me. One of the reasons I like Aang is because of his mistakes, how he owns them, and the consequences. Overall, I wanted to hear your thoughts, since you have more experience in Korra's story, with all your meta and analysis on your blog.

Here are some arguments that pushed this theory:

The fact that Aang had to rebuild the air nation left the so-called peoples in disfavor.

Aang in the comics who is too restricted to changes, technologies, which might have brought the benders and not the benders to conflict.

The way Aang treated his son Tenzin and taught him to be an airbender. Which led Tenzin to be less open to future Airnomads. The fact that he is a bad father because he focused on Tenzin and left his others.

These are not my thoughts, but arguments that validated this theory! I would be happy to hear your thoughts!

(I assume that by 'Zseto' you meant 'Szeto' and mistyped lol)

Huh, I've only ever heard the argument Aang being similar to Szeto only a few times ans never really put a lot of thought into it. I'll be honest, I don't really have as much of a hate for Szeto as a lot of people in the fandom do. Like yeah I'll still make jokes about Tax Boy McNationalist, but from what I know of him, he genuinely seemed to do his best. Like he grew up in a time of conflict, economical strife, plagues and natural disasters. There was a lot of shit going on in the Fire Nation and the Avatar usually goes where they're needed most. And I think a lot of people forget how much a poor economy can ruin lives.

Was he biased? Sure, but I think it's inevitable that most Avatars will be biased towards their homeland and loved ones. Look at the difference between how Korra handled the Southern Water Tribe being taken over by the North and how she handled Zaofu being invaded by the Earth Empire. And don't even get me started on Roku. Even Wan seemed to have his biases when dealing with his friends from the Fire Lion Turtle.

Singling out Avatars like Szeto or Aang really is pretty pointless.

Particularly with Aang, who has every right to be biased. Like, we need to remember that the airbenders were not only wiped out but also wiped out 100 years ago. And if Aang wants to perserve their culture, he has to scramble to find artifacts, and immortalise what memories he has in that lil twelve year old noggin of his before he forgets.

You lose track of cultural items surprisingly fast, I know this as a Pole. You won't BELIVE how much of our art and other historical items are still missing because some asshole nazi decided he wanted a souvenir from that time he helped commit a genocide.

Does Aang come off as overzealous, a bit preachy and occasionally overly strict with his beliefs? Yeah a little, but he has reason too. Aang is an individual with extremely strong convictions and firm beliefs, which is admirable for someone so young. It can cause interpersonal issues, and can be annoying if you can't empathise with him. But I think what we need to remember is that with a philosophy as deeply spiritual and internal as that of the Air Nomads, one infraction can seemingly feel like you're failing it. We must remember that to Aang, giving up Air Nomad philosophies even once will probably seem like betraying the legacy of his people.

Aang is a flawed character, but all characters are flawed and multi faceted. That's good storytelling, babey.

Ok, but onto the points you raise

1. Aang prioritising the Air Nation over others

I think this is a pretty silly argument, since Aang's first act as Avatar was to literally save the world from the Fire Nation, but ok. Let's play along. I think this is also unfounded, since we see Aang having so much influence on the other nations, being involves with their leaders and assisting the civilians. I also love seeing Aang's very unique perspective on engaging with the other nations.

As a genocide survivor, we see Aang support Katara, another genocude survivor in reconnecting with and rbuilding her culture. And as someone who existed 100 years ago and travelled around a lot, Aang has knowledge of other Nations that has since been lost to time and the war. He remembers natural wonders and sacred places in the Earth Kingdom, and encourages the children of the Fire Nation to reconnect with the expressive, artistic side of their heritage which has been stomped down by the new utilitarian regime of the Nation.

And I swear to god if someone brings up Aang not liking sea prune soup and being mildly startled by an animal pelt I will shoot them.

For better or for worse, Aang also created Republic City, which was an attempt at bridging the divides formed between the three nations.

2. Aang's aversion to technology

Before I touch on this point, I think we need to remember that atla is happening smack dab in the middle of an industrial revolution. And Aang has existed 100 years before this industrial revolution. Imagine showing a 12 year old from the 17th century a steam locomotive I think he'd be baffled and disconcerted.

Furthermore, in 2 out of three of the times we see Aang upset about technology it's because from his perspective, suddenly there's tons of machinery sprouting from places that were important to him. In the first instance, it's at the Northern Air Temple, a place that probably housed at least a few of Aang's friends. And the second is in a sacred area. Not to mention that these renovations were entirely uninvited and unexpected, so I think it's only natural thay Aang feels violated on behalf of his entire culture and people.

In the third instance, Aang expresses frustration with industrialisation because it caused pollution and antagonism between benders and nonbenders. His frustration is understandable. He is essentially witnessing a huge change to what he percieves as the natural order, and from his subconscious perspective, this has all happened in a short amount of time.

But we also see Sokka quickly check Aang's frustration, reminding him that innovation can be a good thing and that it's bad people who use it irresponsibly. And Aang apologises and agrees. I think this is what people often forget. Aang is very good at listening to people and taking in their perspective.

Aang's constant struggle with how the world has changed is one of my favourite aspect of his story since it really emphasises how lost and alone he could feel in this world.

3. Aang's poor parenting and that it led to Tenzin struggling with the future airbenders

I honestly dislike the blanket statement that Aang was a bad father. Flawed? Yeah, totally. But bad? Absolutely not.

Even Bumi and Kya admit that their father loved them and that he cared for them, but was held back by his responsibilities.

I think most children of Avatars will have at least a small amount of resentment towards their parent's status and the responsibilities and pressure it lays upon them. Plus, Aang and hid children had the added weight of an entire genocide on their shoulders.

And between managing a world that has only recently become peaceful, trying to rebuild a nation and doing regular Avatar stuff, it's not hard to see how Aang may have struggled to give his children time. Tenzin just happened to fit into one of those goals enough that Aang could bring him along.

This did cause Tenzin a lot of stress and feelings of pressure. But Aang always tried to reassure his son. It just sometimes happens that children internalise the wrong message.

And Aang could never have forseen the return of the airbenders through Harmonic Convergence, so how could he have prepared Tenzin for handling a bunch of terrified, newly bending people who suddenly became a part of an almost extinct culture.

Aang prepared Tenzin to educate Air Acolytes, nonbenders of different nationalities who willingly joined the cause of rebuilding the Air Nation and were already interested in the culture.

And to Aang and Tenzin's credit, the one Asir Acolyte who got airbending, named Otaku seemed to be genuinely enjoying all this.

Look at his nerdass. He's having a whale of a time.

I think while these criticisms are valid to some extent, they are overblown. Aang's flaws exist to make an interesting story and to make him an interesting character. I don't want to say every action of Aang's is entirely right and morally correct all the time. But every action he takes is understandable. We can follow his thought process and I think that's very good writing.

I also find it a bit of an annoying trend to compare Avatars. I've seen people do it with Aang and Korra and it always rubbed me the wrong way. Every Avatar is unique and has their own story, personality, morals and flaws. I love that about the Avatar franchise, but I see a lot of people so resistant to anything that doesn't fit their own narratives.

[the-words-we-sung]

Season 3 ending

So... It's been almost a week since the last episode, almost a week trying to wrap my head around the end of the show, trying to manage my feelings about it all.

It's hard to end up feeling the complete opposite of nearly everyone on my dash but I've come to terms with the fact that I didn't love the ending. I didn't love this last episode. (I shouldn't feel ashamed or weird for saying so but you guys loved it so much that I feel a bit like an outsider right now 😓)

I haven't been a fan of the show for as long as most of you, but it means so much to me. These characters carved a place in my heart and in my head, and they've made me happy for months now. They helped me get through some stuff, made me discover some amazing artists, meet even more amazing people through this fandom. And I loved the story. Even in its darkest, saddest parts, I loved it. I was invested.

I love Wilhelm and Simon, together and separately. They mean so much to me. And I loved season 1 and 2. It made me happy, and sad, and frustrated, and exalted. But overall, I trusted the show and I was not disappointed.

Season 3 was a lot. I liked the first 5 episodes. I can't say that I loved everything about them: I was not expecting things to get so hard for Simon, with no reprieve in sight. I was not worried about Wilmon being endgame (I know it was a big stress for the fandom but honestly I never doubted that they were endgame), but I was wondering how the show would go about tying all the knots it made (I should even say all the knots it added during this last season).

(Under a read more because it's a bit long and I don't want to bother those who don't wanna read more of my frustrated thoughts ^^')

And unfortunately the last episode was a huge let down for me. Yes, it's partly because nothing I was hoping for actually happened, but mostly, it's because the choices they made did not feel very satisfying to me: ⁕ Simon was barely there. We went from him being bullied online/offline non stop for 5 episodes to almost nothing. It makes 0 sense to me. ⁕ Kristina suddenly feeling better: she was having break down upon break down for an entire season, could barely look at her son or even just talk normally and all of a sudden she's back, smiling and agreeing to everything Wilhelm says? I'm sorry but I don't buy it? Where did this Kristina hid during the entire show? ⁕ Wilhelm deciding to not be king, talking for 3min to his parents about it, them agreeing and him running into the sunset with Simon. I'm sorry, what?? I love that they end up together of course, but it makes very little sense to me? It won't change any of the issues they had this season? They're still gonna be famous? And bullied online/offline? (Probably even more so now?). I'm not obviously saying that Wilhelm staying in line to become king was the only or the best solution, but I wanted more from this storyline. I wanted to believe it. And right now, what we got? It feels a bit cheap (and I feel bad for saying that because the ending was cute and romantic and all, but it felt too disconnected from the rest of the show for me ><)

And apart from these few points, the big issue I had with this episode was: The Angst. So that might be a me-problem, but it was too much for my poor little heart (I haven't rewatched the episode yet, and I'm not sure I'll be able to anytime soon ><). I spent like 40min of the episode with a huge knot in the stomach because the heartbreak between Simon and Wilhelm was too much to handle for me. I can see how it was beautifully made, that having lots of throwbacks to the previous seasons, the Wille song, all of that was great cinematography. But it was just too much for me. I got in the season spoiler-free but for this episode? During the lake scene I had to take a break and check online if they were actually endgame because it was starting to actually give me a stomachache. So yeah, this part might be me being too sensitive but I did not like that they made me see them fight for each other for 2 seasons and 5 episodes, but then just giving up for 40min before finally running back to each other during the last 10min. It was just too much sadness for me ><

So yeah, maybe my expectations were too high? But I feel sad, and kinda cheated. Too many things are left wide opened. Too many things make zero sense to me. And of course I'm happy we got our Wilmon endgame, but I'm less happy about how it happened.

It's a bit hard being on Tumblr right now and seeing everyone who thought it was the perfect episode >< And I don't want to "yuck anyone's yum" (as the saying goes), but I still wanna be able to share my thoughts! I probably won't write super angry/unhappy/complaining posts about the season/the finale, but I still wanna be able to chat about it. I did see some posts on my dash from people not being entirely satisfied with this ending so it's a bit comforting. And I hope we can share some nice headcanons, or just discussions about different plot points.

But yeah, I guess that's why I haven't really been active this week! Trying to get over the double heartbreak of the end of the show + being disappointed with the ending! I'm gonna come back though! I miss hanging out here, I just need to strengthen my heart a little bit more :p Gonna get back to writing about my thoughts episode by episode for this season (I can't promise I can rewatch the last one though 😖 It might take me a bit of time to get there). And I want to continue my song analysis of the show!! I'm not even done with season 2 yet, I have some work to do there ^^

So see you back here very soon 😘

[gascon-en-exil]

Considering the undeniable fact that Edelgard was written for men and not them, what do you think that says about her lesbian fans? Are they following the wrong character? Or better question, does she truly have a significant sapphic fandom to begin with?

This is a difficult question for me to answer directly, because I'm not a lesbian. I've gotten a variety of comments from queer women addressing issues related to this on my relevant videos, with the range of responses being overall mixed. Even those who can enjoy Edelgard as a bi option (and/or her other F/F prospects) are usually still aware of IS's blatant misogyny in the way they handle their female characters, and acknowledge that these conversations are useful to have.

I think Monica's writing in Hopes sums up very well just how little the writers of these games are thinking about lesbians when they craft these characters and situations. Monica's attraction to Edelgard is treated as one long joke at her own expense, one that Edelgard appears to humor at best but never really understands. It's especially galling because this is the same game that takes a remarkably sober approach to Shamir's attraction to women, both in general and to Catherine specifically. There's also the matter of the M/M subtext, which as ever exists in a blind spot of straight male writers. With Dimidue alone, we have a situation where men are saying stuff like "You are irreplaceable, cherished" and "I cannot know happiness without you by my side" and holding hands and each other's gazes for something like fifteen seconds in an animated cutscene...and still expect us to believe that that's only platonic devotion. (As far as lord + retainer ships go, hold up Monigard and Dimidue side-by-side, and it's very obvious that IS is laughing at the former and isn't aware that the latter could even have romantic dimensions.)

The majority of IS's sapphic material exists in a different, though comparable blind spot: that lesbians exist as profitable titillation for straight men, and are always subject to the male gaze and the potential interposition of a male proxy for the audience (the Avatar, usually) because women's attraction toward one another isn't something to be taken seriously. Out of the various examples of F/F subtext and text in the entirety of FE, I feel like I could claim Heather from Radiant Dawn as maybe the only instance where the writers were thinking of actual queer women - and even then Heather is still mostly mild comic relief.

(As far as "following the wrong character" goes re: the fandom faction wars, there's always been the consistent irony that Rhea is subject to much of the same open objectification, ex. her summer duo alt with F!Byleth, and even gets to be a same-sex S rank as well. Humorously, this parallel or its implications is pretty much never brought up whenever Rhea's getting roasted as the Worst Ever.)

It's difficult to tell exactly how much of Edelgard's fanbase is sapphic. Of course Tumblr and AO3 skew queer as a rule, but those are just two sites; there's also Twitter and Reddit and SF and GameFAQs and 4chan and art sites like Pixiv and DeviantArt. We also know for a fact that at least two of the most prominent and combative elements in the pro-Edelgard side of the fandom are straight/bi men producing F/F Edeleth fanwork...which I remark on only as a counter to the frequent accusation that Dimitri fans are all horny fujoshi. How that does or doesn't play into what you're asking is hard to say - although one of them tends to get rather pissed when anyone brings something like that up and may still be stalking my blog.

It'll be interesting to see what troll anons I get now.

[dum1s-writings]

Well, hello! It's nice to see an active total drama writer in here! I love this show so much and the fandom is like dead 💀

So, I had this idea...

It could be headcanons or a fic/one-shot, whatever you feel like the most!

But, what about the reaction to the TDWT crew to Chris bringing his niece with him?? Like, the reader is just a sweet 19 y/o teenager who looks for their safety and actually cares about them??? (Total contrary to his uncle lmao).

It doesn't have to be with one character specifically, most like how they would react overall to the reader wanting to protect them from Chris (AND PLEASE MAKE THE READER PROTECT CODY FROM SIERRA I BEG U)

Anyways, have a nice day!!! <3

~~~The Nice McLean~~~

I fucking love Total Drama!! I firmly believe Leshawna should've won the first season. I'll try to add my least favorite characters from World Tour to avoid being biased.

Warnings: Chris McLean, Sierra's stalker behavior, attempted manipulation from Alejandro, Duncan being kind of an ass, does Cody being a crybaby count? I'm making it count.

Pronouns: They/Them

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Alright contestants I have another surprise for you." Chris looked at the tired teens. From behind Chef came another teen. They smiled and waved to the other teens.

"Another contestant?" A few questioned simultaneously.

"Oh hell no. Their mother would kill me." Chris slung his arm around them and tugged them close. "This here is -Y/N- McLean, my nibling."

"Heya," their smile got bigger "I hope we can get along."

Everyone was too shocked to speak for a moment. Sierra was trying so hard not to flip her shit. Chris McLean's nibling was actually in front of her.

"So you're related to Chris?" Harold finally asked.

"Yeah. My mom is his sister." -Y/N- answered truthfully.

"Think of -Y/N- as a co-host. Another Chris of sorts." The older man smirked. "They'll keep an eye on you famous wannabes while I can't."

First of all we'll get the obvious out of the way, the cast fucking love you, after getting to know you. Obviously at first learning you're related to the devil host, Chris McLean, they immediately thought this season would be twice as torturous. But give them a couple of days or weeks and most of them would willingly jump from the plane for you. The others may take some time.

I'll start with the ones that take no time in becoming your fans:

Cody: for him the moment he saw you give a genuine smile was when he trusted you. Having dealt with Chris's shit for so long made him aware of a real and fake smile. Also when you demand Sierra leave him alone? Oh yeah he likes you even more now. Expect a lot of clinging, as much as he can, crying for one reason or another mostly Sierra and excessive praise for the small things.

Lindsay: my sweetheart, so pretty so.....not traditionally smart. She saw you looking super nice in your outfit and that was it. Anyone with fashion choices as good as yours are definitely trustworthy. Please become shopping buddies after the show is over.

Owen: this big lug. He really tries to see the good in everyone. More often than not he's wrong. But he's genuinely happy he's right about you.

Sierra: she knew about you before anyone else. Obviously she's going to trust you from the get go. You're related to THE Chris McLean. That trust may or may not waver...TBD. Either way watch yourself around her. Keep a close eye on your belongings.

The neutral ones who need a bit more time are:

Noah: he just doesn't trust easily. Take no offense to it. I think only Owen was lucky enough, being an actual giant ball of sunshine and stupidity. Perhaps if you sneak him some Noah-Safe food he'll trust you faster.

Gwen: poor girl has been scorned by the world so often. It's left her with a few trust issues. Maybe stick up for her and watch some good horror movies together. Reassurance is the key, she was painted as a bad guy from the beginning. Let her know she's more than that and it's okay to admit she did wrong. Help her move past that.

Leshawna: this bad bitch (lovingly) knows her worth. She wants to make sure others know it as well. Don't talk down to her and hype up her plans and ideas and she'll consider you worth her time and respect. Also keep Alejandro away from her. Please. My queen deserves better.

DJ: he's a softie and a Mama's boy. He does want to trust you. But after his failed restaurant with his Mama it might take some time. People in power never helped him or his Mama. In fact he wonders if they were sabotaged. Help him find ways to "reverse his curse" and he'll definitely trust you, also maybe offer his Mama a job as a chef, especially if it's a higher position in a private kitchen.

The ones who just straight up dislike you and take a long time to like you are:

Alejandro: his family caused him so much trauma. He doesn't trust ANYONE. He may act like it, nodding to your advice and being nice. But alas tis all a front. He's really just waiting for the perfect moment to betray you. When that time comes and goes and you're still nice to him? Yeah....you may have started chipping away at his walls.

Heather: the queen bee. The head of every group project. Highschool taught her to look out for herself. So did the first two seasons of Total Drama. She'll bitch at you and talk shit about you "behind" your back. Just brush it off and continue being nice and you'll win her over, eventually.

Courtney: the Type A Psychotic Crazies and debate team caused Courtney to believe only Courtney can help Courtney. She'll refuse to trust you and judges those who do. In fact it's not until she's kicked off will she finally trust you. Maybe meet up after the show and talk to her, she'll apologize to you and own up to her wrongdoings.

Duncan: the runaway delinquent. The hardass he is doesn't trust you, purely because of your last name. Chris ruined his life, more than he himself could have. Being stalked no matter where he went for 2 years put him on edge. Abolish Chris's stupid "must always sing" rule and his opinion on you might change.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hopefully this works. I didn't know what to do for most of it. I was winging it big time.

[featherstorm2004]

*Edit* My bad transitions don't come out till later.

I was so scared they were gonna use different wording and leave it ambiguous, that being said for the longest time in the fandom and in the manga Shigaraki has been dehumanised by people as a monster or a thing. Either because his power or simply due to the fact he was a villain and then completely ignoring the nuance of his situation, of simultaneously being the biggest victim of hero society and also its biggest threat.

And people think he's the biggest threat because of the power of his quirks but in reality the true threat Shigaraki posed was being the manifestation of all of the issues in hero society that the hero's/people can't ignore, he is forcing the hero's and the readers to come to terms with the fact that their society is EXTREMELY flawed.

THAT'S why Shigaraki is the main big bad for the story and not All For One because despite having parallels with Shigaraki, he ultimately can't confront the main question of the narrative and that question is "what dose it mean to be a hero?" and as the protagonist and self proclaimed "number 1 hero" by the end of the story Izuku needs to answer that question. And how dose he do that? by doing the one thing all hero's have failed to do, something even All Might couldn't accomplish and that's getting through to Shigaraki and saving him.

That is something he NEEDS to accomplish for the narrative to justify him becoming the number 1 hero, and his first step being to acknowledge Shigaraki's humanity is excellent. It proves why Izuku deserves to be the protagonist because it's something no one else was capable of, even the past welders of One For All fell into this trap by referring to Shigaraki as a thing or that monster. Hell, even Grand Torino who of all people should feel the most sympathy for his situation blames Shigaraki for tarnishing his grandmothers legacy and even tries to convince Izuku to kill him.

So, overall I'm very happy with the progression of this chapter and how it's progressing Shigaraki and Izuku's character's, but I don't know how I would feel about Shigaraki being redeemed the same way someone like Toga was. Because unlike her, he isn't looking to be saved so to be saved in this single battle would feel a bit rushed since Shigaraki's problems are gonna need way more than a conversation to be solved.

But the manga is probably so going to end soon, so I think hopefully Izuku's talk with Shigaraki will cause him to pull an Sasuke and he'll run off to a different country or something to collect himself. Then the manga can end and then we could get a My Hero Academia Pt2 Naruto style. That way Horikoshi can take a nice long break and hopefully have time to plan out the next part of his story better without being rushed by needing to get a chapter out every other week.

Plus it would be cool so see aged up designs to all our favourite characters, but hey that's just my two cents on the matter.

[outrunningthedark]

Real question tho. Explain to me how another failed relationship for Eddie will be a good storyline??? this motherfucker is always fucking single and miserable and this season it’s finally some happiness and he looks happy but no let’s make him single and miserable again??? booooriiinnggggg

I agree with your overall feelings on this. I had my issues with decisions Kristen made in her two years as co-showrunner, including how rushed the Eddie dating arc was (because Mr. "I never thought the show was in danger of being canceled" apparently didn't tell his colleague to write as if there WOULD be a season seven), but she DID get the overall point to the story correct in that Eddie was finally ready to date on his terms and even made the first move by asking for Marisol's number and calling her to set something up. So, here comes Marisol (I'm just talking about the character, not the actress), and you would think this new relationship would have happier times because Eddie's in a happier place, right? Apparently not. People can and probably will spin the narrative to say that they're letting Edy go because of her real life actions ("the backlash is getting to be too much"), but look at the premiere. That was a blink-and-you-miss-it appearance by her, even less than what Ana got in both her introductions from seasons three and four. That's not how you help the audience get (re)acquainted with someone who could be around for a long while. It's just not. So here we are, possibly/probably ending season seven with Marisol officially out or her final scene being written in a way that suggests she will be even if it's not said on screen (like how Buck and Ali kinda sorta broke up in 2x18, but Buck had to confirm it in 3x01) and...it's back to the drawing board we go.

I was never attached to Marisol, I don't pay attention to Edy unless something crosses my dash (I don't see the point in keeping tabs on an actress that I don't care for), and I had already made peace with however long it would take to wrap this story up. But this thing with Eddie grieving Shannon, thinking it's time to commit, changing his mind, and repeating the same pattern in a different season? That's becoming boring to me, to more folks in this fandom, and probably a lot of others who aren't in the fandom and aren't watching 9-1-1 for a repression arc, particularly not from the Army vet with the dead wife and son (who's not a little kid anymore and doesn't need his father's help the same way he used to). Marisol out? That's fine, we'll survive. The next one, though? Would it kill them to try?

[oneofthosebells]

All right, I might regret this but I'm going to say it anyway.

If you hated S3 (or didn't hate it overall but have issues with it), then I fully support your right to criticise it as much as you want. Rant away, air all your grievances, get it all out. I might even agree with some of your criticisms and nitpicks, because as much as I personally loved S3 (and S2, always) I don't think it was perfect by any means.

But please, please don't start taking it out on your fellow fans. Don't accuse people of 'overlooking all the plotholes just because of a cheesy happy ending'. Don't accuse people of 'worshipping Saint Lisa' because they have a different opinion on the writing to you. Don't assume that everyone who enjoyed the final season was an 'abdication truther' (ugh I hate that term).

I've been that person before, hating something that everyone else in a fandom loved. It feels like screaming into the void, wanting to shake some sense into people because how can they love this plothole ridden mess?! Do they not see how bad the writing is?! Have they been brainwashed by some soppy scenes and cute kissing?!

Yeah, I've been there and it sucks. I highly recommend finding (or starting!) a groupchat of like-minded people to get it all out, do some cathartic ranting. But please, I am begging you, don't start taking it out publicly on your fellow fans.

We all watch shows for different reasons and get different things out of them. A plot point that was really important to you might have been a minor, easily ignored, niggle to someone else and vice versa. You can never assume you know what's meaningful to other people and what isn't.

And you know what - even if some people did only enjoy S3 because it has a happy ending, that's a valid reason to like something? I don't think that is the case for most people tbf and it's certainly not for me, but even if it was, so what? Life is hard and TV is escapism and happy endings for LGBT+ couples in film/TV are still, sadly, rare. Let people enjoy things.

[maximumqueer]

I've mentioned this briefly before, but I want to talk more in depth about the weirdness and infantilization surrounding Luffy, specifically when people use the popular headcanons of him being aroace and neurodivergent (which I would argue could also be seen as coding) to further this idea.

To start with, Luffy being aroace. This is headcanon I like and agree with. I'm aroace myself, and seeing representation in Luffy (even if it's only through coding and headcanons) is nice. I think a lot of the canon material backs up this reading of his character. He hasn't shown interest in romance or sex as of the current chapter. Where the fandom loses me however, is when they use this headcanon to insist that Luffy does not know what sex or romance are. It has this implication that adult aroace people are innocent and childlike, and insinuates that the only way a person could not be interested in romance and sex is because they are naive. I shouldn't have to say how deeply insulting it is to see my sexual and romantic identity boiled down to being an "innocent bean". I also have to mention that in order for a person to be aroace, they have to know what romance and sex are in order to know that they are disinterested in them to some capacity. Being disinterested in sex/romance (which is very much how Luffy is portrayed) does NOT equal not knowing what they are.

The infantilization of Luffy as a character is then compounded by his second popular headcanon, being that he is neurodivergent (autistic specifically. Again one I agree with). Autistic people are also infantilized and treated like children, even as adults, despite having complex thoughts and feelings like allistic counterparts. We see this with Luffy when people (whether it be joking or serious) call him stupid and say that he does not have thoughts. I've talked about this before, but Oda doesn't consistently use thought bubbles or internal dialogue, so the majority of the time it is up to use as the audience to interpret what a character is thinking or feeling, including Luffy.

And while I do think Luffy can be an idiot sometimes (most of the strawhats have their moments) I do not think he is stupid. In fact, I would go so far as to call it unintentionally ableist to insist a character that is not traditionally intelligent (book smart) is stupid. And again, this plays into the headcanon and coding of Luffy being autistic/neurodivergent. Because it is common (whether consciously or unconsciously) to view neurodivergent people as less intelligent/ closer mentally to children than adults.

I also think a small part of this mischaracterization comes from Luffy being portrayed as a happy and joyful person in canon. Because he is not horrifically jaded by the world he lives in, he must be innocent and naive. As if happy people cannot be traumatized or aware of the issues of the world they live in. It pushes this weird narrative that in order for a character/person to be seen and treated as an adult, they must be miserable and pessimistic.

All of this combined leads to a decent portion of the One Piece fandom dumbing down Luffy as a character and treating him like a child. Which is a shame, because he has so much nuance and depth when you actually start breaking him down and digging into what makes him work so well as a character.

Overall, I just wish more people would stop treating him as stupid and naive because of headcanons/coding and him being joyful rather than cynical.

[glassiscompletlyempty]

what are the fandoms overall thoughts on how the franchise sometimes makes Branch's PTSD ( I'm not a psychiatrist but I feel fairly confident in saying that he has it ) into comedy?

its been a thing in each film tbh that character truama gets played for laughs sometimes.

branch's the bergens are coming gag to the jokes made after he reveals his grandma's death ( "" my uncle broke his neck tapdancing once "" )

and the third movie having him attempt to relate to viva only to make everyone feel awkward by talking about how he didn't wear pants and clay's comedic delivery of "" wait grandma got eaten? "".

which came after a very serous dramatic argument and feels really tone deaf tbh I know its a childrens movie but plenty of other childrens movies can balance tone just fine.

and it does seem a tad disheartening to me how the movies set up interesting characters with genuine interesting trauma we could see them work through.

and instead we mostly just get it reduced to comedy moments i mean i know we do see characters work through issues a little bit but not very much.

its mostly just brushed over with comedy so we can hurry the story along like viva's fear of the outside world and branch's trauma over his grandma's murder.

and being abandoned by his brothers at a young age its all very dark and interesting and could make for great character development

but instead the movies just use it for comedy and then rush to the characters being okay at the end so we can skip to the happy ending.

sorry am I making sense? I'm not sure if I worded this properly?

[kizashige]

I have recently gotten into Persona 4, and I luckily remembered you also really liked souyo back in 2019. However I cannot find any of your souyo fanarts, so I wanted to ask if you have any of those works achieved somewhere?

When I was very into Corpse Party I was utterly enchanted by your kizashige fanart, and I believe we have had hours long conversations about those two a while ago. I was wondering if you had similar complex and well developed thoughts about Yu and Yosuke’s relationship as well?

Thank you! :)

ah most of my old p4 art is on another blog but whatever I posted was maybe just 1% of what I actually ever drew. persona 4 was my last big interest, I got into it in 2016 so I was really obsessed with it for a long time, but I didn't post my art much back then (and it's so old, I wouldn't feel comfortable doing that now).

however last year, I was part of a souyo zine but I never posted my piece. this would be the first time I'm showing this off

I still love persona 4. it remains one of my favorite games of all time and was definitely a major influence towards my current taste.

I think about this often, but one thing that p4 really influenced me now with corpse party is that I've always focused on the metaphorical aspect of the darkening first, that it twists a character's desires rather than it being a completely literal corruption. it's a similar mechanic as the shadows throughout the persona series. shadows in persona are uncomfortable, contorted representations of a person's psyche, that aren't entirely true. the darkening is just as ugly and awful and confusing. it's all about symbolism.

another thing is that I focus a lot on the societal aspects in kizami and morishige's characters, how being neurodivergent and just * being different * affects them in their everyday social life, which is also a very present theme throughout persona. like, yeah, they're fun characters because they're gorehounds, but that's not The Thing that got me attached to them in the first place. I often wonder if I hadn't been into p4 before, if I would have read their characters very, very differently.

ANYWAYS, when it comes to yu and yosuke's relationship, I also had very particular ideas of their characters and dynamic to where I was quite miserable being in the fandom. you've given me the opportunity to rant about this, so as someone who was obsessed with souyo for almost four years straight, I basically hated yu and yosuke's characterization in fandom.

people who hate yosuke, whatever, but people who thought yosuke was just a happy-go-lucky, bubbly idiot who always needed yu to scold him for being homophobic pissed me off so much. souyo fans are basically incapable of addressing yosuke's internalized homophobia in any meaningful way because all they do is make yu their mouthpiece for times where they themselves wanted to scold yosuke while playing the game, thus so much fanwork comes across more as just self inserting rather than writing yu as an actual character with his own personality where he can be just as immature and dumb, even in his own dialogue options. I guess this is just the nature of working with a silent protagonist, but I hated it so much. clearly, I still do.

I related to yosuke a lot as many other people did, but I was a BIG fan of shadow yosuke and cared a lot on what that guy meant for yosuke's overall character. yosuke is so often reduced to his homophobia, that many people miss out on his general issues with wanting to be special and to stand out, and how this makes him a very clear parallel to adachi. I think yu is a parallel to adachi mostly through their narrative roles as protagonist and antagonist and through such symbolism, but the parallels between yosuke and adachi go beyond just that and to the core of their personalities and backgrounds and that always made me crazy.

adachi and yosuke both suffer from constant boredom, masking, resenting everything around them, and feeling so unfulfilled in life. the difference is that yosuke was able to make real friends, instead of becoming obsessed with his own ineptitude and pessimism like adachi did.

and that really, really got to me about yosuke's character. I loved how much he hated everyone and everything around him, I loved that he was basically living his life aimlessly, that he was trying so hard to find some purpose, that he always made mistakes and fucked up and would act out by being an asshole either intentionally or unintentionally. his homophobia was only * one * part of that.

I don't have as much to say about yu individually, but my interpretation of him was always that loneliness was a major part of his character. his implied backstory of always moving around and having neglectful parents leading him to being very apathetic to most people as a result, only to then be terrified of letting go once he finally found people he belongs with. I was obsessed with how the anime ran with his abandonment issues, how he kept everyone in a timeloop because he didn't want to be alone again.

basically, I always saw yosuke as someone who was pissed off deep down and wanted an escape through the tv world, and that yu was someone who wanted to belong somewhere so much, that it scared him. that they were two lonely, socially inept, fumbling teenagers who wanted to mean something to someone. I thought they were obsessed with each other.

I've said a lot and I could probably say more, but this was definitely an interesting ask as yu and yosuke have sort of just been in the background for me these past few years. I think whatever I wanted out of souyo I saw in kizashige a lot as well, which is funny because to an outsider, they're incredibly different ships. this tweet says it all though.

[daemon-in-my-head]

I think my main issue with existing in fandom and engaging with it comes down to the narrative dissonance I've somehow established with fanon.

Cuz while fanon and the canon overall (durge a lot less tbh) is pretty positiveish and badass my approach simply... Isn't.

I'm not going with the banehold rescue missions or the 'maybe love did end up being enough' vibes.

My fucks aren't happy. They have their moments but at the end of the day durge never got over losing their purpose and eventually returned to Bhaal semi voluntarily and Gortash just, never changed. Grew even more bitter perhaps but he's always been a manipulative idiot with the emotional intelligence of a breadcrumb and continues to exist and act that way, eventually fucking up yet again because his ambition and need for control outweigh the desire for human connection.

I simply put them in a different, more comfortable situation than their past, but never allowed them to have that fundamental change they would've needed to attain legitimate happiness. They could've been happy if they had realised that they weren't in the same place anymore but they didn't. Couldn't. I mean heck my durge quite literally removed one of his eyes himself that's how hard they're fucking shit up for themselves.

And that isn't for everyone, which is valid, but it also makes it hard to interact with the fandom cuz if I do there is a chance of my overwhelming desire for tragedy and fucked upness leaking to people who don't enjoy it. Or we'll gothic horror ig cuz the gods still exist and fuck around (and dear lord am I making them fuck around) but at the end of the day the haunting isn't the supernatural or divine, it's the mortal idiots who can't seem to realise that yes, indeed, everything's changed.

So I just try not to.

[mashedcontroller]

I'm feeling spicy, time to list everything I think BH outclassed 03 on. And by that, prepare yourself for the most backhanded, hyper specific or wildly vague, and strings-attached compliments you've heard in your fucking life. But actually, the reason I'm doing this is because I think 03 is better than BH in every way that matters. The majority of common points people give BH over 03 typically come down to attempts to make subjective taste sound objective since a lot of shit is really just a difference in priorities and/or genre rather than an objective flaw in the other show.

And, to be clear, 03 is the better show. It has a really strong thematic core and just says a lot of shit that I rarely see other stuff have the gall to say. 03 tackles heavy topics and tackles them well. It left me with a lot to think about, even years after my first viewing. It's a political piece of art that remains relevant 20 years after the fact. On some levels, it was designed to do this. 03 is a character drama that deconstructs a lot of the elements that make up the shonen genre, and it also very clearly had something to say. 03 has very few weak points and has some of the strongest moments I've seen from any piece of media that I've interacted with. I think a lot of its bad reputation comes from people failing to engage with the show on its own terms. I can only speculate on what's going through other people's heads, but expecting it to act as supplementary material for BH is a fundamentally wrong assumption to make about the show. These two shows are trying to accomplish very different things, so judging 03 on its ability to be BH is a boldfaced stupid lens to view the show through.

BH, however, is still a well-made show. Like, I'm more than happy to shit on it, but BH is by no means a bad anime. It's just not as ambitious as people claim it to be. And if it really is one of the best things Shonun has to offer, then that says pretty mediocre things about the genre imo. It's far from a bad show. I think it accomplishes the role of "fun action series" really well, but it also has gaping flaws the moment you decide to engage with the work critically. That's not necessarily an issue that I'll take with its fanbase. The show's got a lot of elements that make it good for cultivating one. Stuff like large casts, likeable characters, emphasizing its worldbuilding, prioritizing action over character work, etc. are all traits that are great for cultivating fandom, and they're all traits that BH has that 03 revokes. But yeah, BH does fall apart once you look at it critically. My biggest issues with it come down to the fact that the show baits you into thinking that it's deeper than it actually is. So, I'll take the bait and look for the deeper stuff and then find nothing, which is where my negative perception of the show comes from, which isn't helped by how common it is for people to take the bait without really looking.

So, yeah, in short, I have a mountain of good things to say about 03. It's an incredible piece of art with so much shit to look into. In my opinion, you're doing the show a disservice to watch it and not put serious analytical thought into what you're consuming. Meanwhile I have a lot of mixed opinions about BH. It's a great show to watch, it's just a terrible show to consume critically. This isn't even me calling people who prefer BH dumb or anything. The show's are just so fundamentally different from one-another that your preference truly does just come down to a mix of personal tastes and how you prefer to interact with media, especially if you're a more casual viewer of either/both shows. The part that makes me angry is how disrespected 03 is in the majority of FMA circles.

The animation and sound design of Roy's snap is really fucking good in BH.

While 03 may have an overall better art direction and visuals than BH, I do really like how juicy the BH animators and sound designers made Roy's fire attack. The fire itself is just so fucking juicy and satisfying. The BH team did a really good job at making that attack iconic. There's no "but actually" here. The BH team just fucking nailed this one aspect.

In general, BH has better special effects than 03. This is absolutely a difference in available technology at the time each show was animated. And while I do have respect for special effects animation; it's often the difference between animations looking really stiff vs getting across their intended atmospheres, especially in the realm of video games. Using a human body as an analogy, the special effects are more like the hair than the skin, fat, muscle, nerves, or bones. Both important but somewhat expendable.

BH's alchemy is much more logically consistent than 03's.

So, there are a lot of reasons for this difference. The two main ones are the BH and 03 can barely if even be considered the same genre of anime. BH is a fun fights-heavy action series with some intrigue plot, while 03 is a really critical deconstruction the genre BH embraces that's more of a character drama with a heavily knit thematic core than anything else.

And their commitments to their genres translate to each show's relationship with alchemy. In 03, Alchemy's rules are much more metaphoric than literal. Equivalent Exchange is the shit because it's representative of the philosophy that Edward clings to; that life is fundamentally fair, that there is some universal justification for everything that happens. And 03 is about tearing that belief into itty bitty pieces. In fact, we learn that Equivalent Exchange isn't even true. Everything about Alchemy in 03 is bound by the magic's metaphorical meaning. Thus, when it comes to fights, characters really just need to be able to loosely justify how their alchemy functions for the audience to go "oh ok." And, in 03, alchemy is fundamentally powered by taking the life force of something and using that energy to do something else. So, you get stuff like the ability to extract alchemical energy from plants in order to amplify your alchemy much later, Edward being able to turn his automail into a gun, Dante's alchemic dragon thing, Scar's arm being the Philosopher's Stone, etc. The point is that you're sort of meant to accept that "yeah thats a thing that can happen." In other words, the fights exist purely for spectacle and the logic behind them is low priority at best. So, the way 03 frames it's combat is that it has to establish rules that exist within their own space and work with those rules. So, it can't circumvent stuff like "Roy can't use his gloves if they're wet" because there's no reason to and giving a talk about how H2O has Oxygen in it would have been horribly distracting in the one scene where Roy does get fucking soaked. Especially since him being crafty in a fight is sold by him just using Havoc's matches + Armstrongs rocks to make frag bombs. Tldr, the way 03 is structured allows if not flat out encourages characters to bullshit during fights. I think the fast and loose usage of alchemy's principles in the earlier parts of the show also make the later parts of the show, where those principals turn out to be false, feel more believable.

Meanwhile, BH's alchemy is operating on a much more literal framework, so the writing has more room and necessity for creative and engaging combat sequences. In a way, the fights in BH are puzzles and alchemy is the tools the characters are given to solve those puzzles, so the fights become engaging because you want to see how the characters solve the puzzles. It's very gamey. That said, I do have to say that I dislike how the homunculi are fit into this system. Their lose condition is having their stones exhausted, which just translates into "they have more HP." Which is very bullshit. The homunculi in BH die when the story tells them to, at least, that's how their lose condition makes it feel.

Both shows heavily rely on the usage of gimmicks to make their fights interesting. For example, Roy uses exclusively fire, which he creates by snapping. Like, I really like how Roy's combat gimmick gets explored in this fight specifically.

I like how Ed ducks into a crowd in an attempt to dissuade him, and Roy's like "you think I care about collateral damage lmao." I like how Ed thinks he won the fight by slicing Roy's glove, but then Roy just ruins his day by revealing that he has two hands and therefore another glove. I really like how Roy's not taking this very seriously and Ed only wins because of Roy getting a flashback. This fight is just an excellent display of character for both of them and I love it.

Anyways, there are a lot of other character gimmicks. Honestly, 03 is so much better with its character gimmicks during fights than BH is. Like, I could list a ton of cool moments where the character gimmicks get played with. And part of how it does this is that every character plays by their own rules. No character will ever break their own rules, but the universal rules governing what is and isn't acceptable for a fight isn't very consistent. This does fit into 03s themes about how there is no universal truth. But yeah, that's how 03 structures its fights and why characters will sometimes just blatantly ignore the laws of alchemy.

Anyways, in BH, the rules are much less person-by-person and are more like "Alchemists can do XYZ," "Homunculi can do ABC," "Alkahestrists can do UWV," "Chimeras can do RST," etc. So, everyone has similar rules that they have to play by. Which also makes it so much more jarring when someone blatantly breaks those rules. Like, when Edward gets impaled and uses alchemy to not die, it's super jarring because that breaks the laws of human frailty and it doesn't really make sense. It's even worse when Edward fucks with Pride's Stone. Compare that to some of the blatant bullshitting in 03, like where Edward uses concrete to turn his broken automail into a gun. He shouldn't be able to decide when the shots are fired and where's the ammo coming from? But part of the reason it isn't jarring is because him turning his automail into a gun isn't a big deal or even particularly important to the scene he does that in. Or take bullshitting that is more relevant, like Alphonse performing a successful human transmutation. At this point, it's been clearly established that Alchemy's laws aren't true. So, Alphonse breaking them doesn't break audience suspense. Instead, the fundamental logic behind it actually working is tied to the story's central themes.

But yeah, BH's alchemy is a bit more logically consistent than 03's, but there's a very good reason for 03's alchemy to have some logical inconsistencies, which results in BH being much worse at breaking its own rules than 03 is.

A lot of the characters are just easier to get behind and digest in BH.

The entire point of 03 is that these characters are nazis and morally grey as fuck. Meanwhile, the characters in BH are primarily meant to be fun characters that you could comfortably fantasize about being or being friends with. The characters in BH are much simpler than in 03 and the show tends to gloss over their war crimes. Even when it addresses them, there's a billion asterisks and variations of "they're still the good guys." Compared to 03, where everyone is just messy and fucked up.

For example, BH Roy is easier to root for than 03 Roy, but that's because BH Roy is a fundamentally different type of character than 03 Roy. BH Roy is firmly a protagonist while with 03 Roy, he's much more antagonistic and complex. He doesn't solidly fit into the categorization of protagonist or antagonist because he's a bit of both.

And to be clear, I'm not calling the characters in BH simplistic in a derogatory way. A major benefit to simplicity is that you know who to root for and don't have to do a ton of heavy thinking to enjoy the story. That said, I don't think this style of character is necessarily appropriate for a story where the majority of the protagonists committed racial genocide and serve in the military for a fascist dictatorship. BH's characterization would've been a lot better if the story wasn't also trying to cover ridiculously heavy topics.

I've been using Roy as my go-to example since he's the only character to be one of my favorites in both shows, but I think the character who benefits the most from this point is Izumi. In BH, she's iconic. She's a slapstick oriented character who's just a joy to have on screen. In 03, her character writing gives me a lot of mixed messages. She's still very slap stick, but it's just weird in 03 since a lot of similar stuff gets unpacked, but Izumi being outright physically abusive to the Elrics at times just isn't. She's also much softer in 03; most characters are. And I'm mostly just left confused on how to feel about her. She has some great scenes, especially with Wrath, but the character feels a bit disjointed. In BH, she really benefits from being a nonparticipant in Ishval. The writing doesn't have to worry about her being sympathetic in spite of her committing genocide, so she gets to be divorced from the massive fuck up that was that section of the story.

BH has a larger cast than 03. Also, a lot of BH exclusive characters are more likeable than the 03 exclusive characters.

There's a lot of things to unpack here.

So, first thing that's kinda an obvious point is that BH prioritizes making its characters easily likeable to the detriment of its larger themes, 03 makes its characters likeable in service of those themes. So, it's a lot easier to get behind BH Mustang than 03 Mustang because Mustang's warcrimes just aren't that important in BH while they're the most important part of the character in 03. A lot of a character's likeability in BH hinges on the audience's ability to simply ignore the Ishval subplot, which was already a poorly handled subplot. While in 03, their likeability is intentionally contrasted with their war crimes to make a point. That's the primary reason why the characters in BH are more likeable than in 03.

And this also extends to the casts that are either version exclusive or unrecognizable between the two. Kimbly is a perfect example. In BH, he's designed primarily as a fun and bombastic antagonist who blows shit up because it's fun. They also made him extremely fashionable. Meanwhile, in 03 he's genuinely fucked up and views the lives of people as little more than tools to use to further his own goals, which is made interesting by Kimbly not being a top dog (like most villains running with that mindset are). He's at the bottom of the food chain and yet he still thrives under that mindset. BH Kimbly is the more fun character, but that's because BH Kimbly and 03 Kimbly are fundamentally different types of antagonist.

A lot of this comes down to tone. 03 is a much more somber show than BH. Unlike BH, it takes the premise of "child soldier works for a fascist government that partook in genocide a few years back because he wants to fix a mistake that made him and his brother permanently disabled" as a sign that the story is meant to be dark and a little fucked up. Meanwhile, BH tends to gloss over the fucked up shit in favor of selling the power-fantasy aspect of the story. This just results in BH's characters being a lot more fun. The surface level shit is the only thing that really matters to them when looking at BH since the deeper shit is simply shit and not really worth calling attention to.

The cast sizes also exist to further both show's individual goals. BH being about action and badass people being badass benefits from a larger cast because you get to see more flavors of badassery. It lets fights cycle between different styles of combat, which helps keep things interesting. 03 is a character drama. This benefits from having a smaller cast because it allows the show to spend more time unpacking a handful of characters.

There are a lot more badass female characters in BH compared to 03

I'll give BH a "you did the bare minimum" award for being an action show with female characters who are not just eye candy. That doesn't make the show revolutionary. It just says bad things about the genre that this isn't considered the bare minimum. But yeah, in both shows, most of the female characters are subordinate to their male peers. Hawkeye is defined as Roy's henchman. Winry is defined as Ed's love interest/childhood friend, Izumi is defined as Ed's mentor. In some aspects, this is fine. Like, the main characters are Edward and Alphonse, they don't need to draw attention away from them in favor of their own bullshit. But how badass a character is doesn't exactly translate into whether they're feminist.

Like, again, the reason you see more badass female characters in BH than 03 is the same reason you see more badass characters in BH than 03; BH is an action show, 03 is a character drama with some amount of action on the side. They're both guilty of employing sexist tropes. BH tends mix those tropes with badassery, while 03 tends to mix those tropes with character nuance. Doesn't change the existence of the tropes. It's sort of just something that you gotta accept about either show. That doesn't mean that its female characters don't have good moments in either show. Just that they're working from a sexist baseline. Neither show is particularly feminist, but they're also far from the worst offenders out there.

There are a few characters where I prefer their BH incarnations over their 03 versions.

The reason someone might prefer one version's character over another is a bit more nuanced than just which character was written better. The vast majority of overlapping characters fulfill different narrative niches in each story. For example, comparing 03 Lust and BH Lust has always felt disingenuous to me because while it's true that 03 Lust is the more compelling character, a major reason for that fact is that BH Lust was never designed with being compelling in mind. A more apt comparison would be 03 Lust to BH Greed, as those two characters do share the same niche of being an antagonist that makes the audience question the nature of the homunculi and eventually splits off from them. I'd also say that BH Lust and 03 Greed fulfill similar narrative niches as being a minor antagonist that establishes exactly what the main villains are all about and who's death is used as a tool by the authors to reveal exactly what the protagonist slaying them is all about. That's why BH Lust's death and 03 Greed's Deaths are both pointed to as highlighting points in their respective series. They both execute on their niches quite well.

This also accounts for the primary reason why someone may like a character in one show but dislike them in another. BH Mustang fulfills the niche of a secondary protagonist. In 03, he fulfills the role of a pseudo-antagonist / morally ambiguous major character. I happen to really like both versions of Mustang, but it's for very different reasons. In BH, I just think he's funny and has a lot of good banter. That's more or less exactly what he's meant to accomplish there. You're supposed to go "haha funny" and/or "haha awesome" with this guy. BH Mustang falls apart when you critically analyze him because the Ishval plot was mishandled, but his surface level traits are so good that I can just be like "I saw nothing." Meanwhile, 03 Mustang is a character who you sort of have to engage with critically to get the most out of. He's a complicated character and his relationship with the audience isn't a static variable. And there's merit to both approaches of character writing. There's as much value to a character where it's not worth overanalyzing them as there is to a character who doesn't really come into their own until you pull out the tweezers.

So, in case anyone's curious, which characters do I prefer their BH incarnations to over their 03 incarnations? Well, I prefer Barry the Chopper and Izumi Curtis in BH vs their 03 counterparts. Like I said, there's a lot more nuance than "this character was written better in one anime than the other" when regarding personal preferences. So, the reason I prefer BH Izumi over 03 Izumi is that I thought BH Izumi was funny and cool while I just got a lot of mixed messages about 03 Izumi. So, in this case, I think BH Izumi fulfilled her narrative purpose really well, while I have much more mixed opinions on 03 Izumi. As for Barry, it's a similar case where I thought he was really funny in BH, while I think he fell short as a more serious antagonist in 03. In Izumi's case, the failings I have for her in 03 are that I don't think her treatment of the Elrics is put under the same scrutiny that every other character is given. Like, in BH, her being physically violent towards them is played off for comedy. It's the same case in 03, but it doesn't work as well in this context because 03 is the show that turned the short jokes into an important metaphor, so it's really weird that Izumi's slapstick wasn't given the same treatment. And I found that really off-putting. Meanwhile, my main issue with BH Izumi is that the stuff around her failed human transmutation was extremely underexplored, which doesn't stick out as much as the slapstick issue in 03 because Izumi is ultimately a minor character in BH while she takes the mantle of a more major character in 03. Though, personal bias is a huge factor in why I prefer BH Izumi over 03 Izumi, since her specific plot about being unable to bear children just happens to be so alien to my personal life, as someone who's both never had a failed pregnancy, has zero interest in bearing children, and would happily make a magic "goodbye pussy" circle. It's not that this type of conflict can't still be compelling to someone like me, but it's going to require more narrative work than a conflict that I can more closely relate to. Hence, why it's personal bias. Meanwhile, in the case of Barry the Chopper, my preference towards BH's version is a fair bit less subjectively biased. He just fits really awkwardly into the role 03 tries to assign him. The issue is that he jumps back and forth between trying to be fucked up and scary to being a comedic antagonist, which just undermines both aspects of him.

Like, the antagonist for this scene, should end up looking completely alien to the version of Barry the Chopper seen in BH, but that version of Barry is played relatively similar to BH Barry in Lab 5, resulting in the 03 Barry being inconsistent.

And for every character where I prefer their BH version, there are plenty more characters where I prefer their 03 versions. And a lot of that will come down to personal preference.

Armstrong's a great example of a character who on a surface level isn't that far off between 03 and BH, but he just works so much better in 03 than in BH because of the different character niches he fulfills in both shows. In 03, he's a minor character, while in BH, he's a major character. So, in 03, he's not particularly developed. He's mainly a funny guy who has a few shots where he's sad over Ishbal, and then he ends up supporting Mustang in overthrowing the government, which he mostly does in a comedic fashion. That's a pretty apt description for both his 03 and BH incarnations, but I only take issue with his performance in BH. The reason for this is that he's a more important character in BH, so I expect the show to disclose more information about him, which doesn't happen. Like, in BH, I want to know more about how his refusal to fight in Ishval affected him, his relationships, his status, etc. But BH only addresses that through off-handed scenes where Olivier calls him a pussy, which don't really go anywhere. Meanwhile, in 03, first of all, Armstrong did kill people in Ishbal, so the massive question of "how did his time in Ishbal affect him" can be supplemented by other characters confronting similar questions. Thus, the minor amounts of information we are given about Armstrong alongside information we see from other characters who were soldiers in Ishbal like Marcoh and Mustang are more than enough to get across the general picture. Secondly, we actually do get hints at how Armstrong's goofier attitude and kinder disposition impact his career. Mainly during the raid in Dublith where Envy disguised as Bradly says "this is why you never get a promotion." As a minor character in 03, he's allowed to have the nuances of his character be heavily carried by implication. But I can't really give a major character like BH Armstrong that same affordance, especially when those hints are barely given. It doesn't help that Armstrong's backstory in BH very heavily leaned into the story's insistence that the soldiers didn't mean it when they slaughtered Ishval.

Edward is more of a Badass in BH than 03

Ngl, I'm cheating a little with this point because it's like "I agree with this point but I also couldn't give less of a shit about it." Which, that response is, at least, 85% personal preference coming into the equation. I'm not going to say that badass characters never resonate with me, but it's really uncommon because the badass character has to be someone I personally can somewhat relate to, which is a rare flavor of character in popular media. My own experiences with the two characters are that I find BH Edward to be kinda boring as a character while 03 Edward is the most interesting character in the show (as he should be given everything I said about what 03 is trying to accomplish). But it's a lot of the same stuff my general thesis has been; BH Ed is more badass than 03 Ed because BH Ed was written to be a badass while 03 Ed was written to be a compelling character.

The actual reason I wanted to bring up this point is because it's a common enough point I've seen people make when comparing the two shows and I find this point rather bothersome. Maybe that's because I take issue with consistently seeing a rather mediocre character being placed on a pedestal over one of the best protagonists I've ever seen. But it's also more the explanations that bug me than anything. Like, I cannot take anyone seriously who uses calling a character "whiny" as a critique. Maybe it's because you're looking for an action hero who can shrug off shit that would normally be traumatizing, in which case, you're in the wrong genre. Maybe you take some issue with characters being emotional in a vulnerable sort of way. 03 features a lot of characters displaying emotions in a dysfunctional sort of way. Characters are allowed to hurt in a way that doesn't fuel anything other than more hurt. Characters will repress their feelings and that will bite them in the ass. Characters are allowed to be depressed, not in a "waiting for the heroic do shit speech" sort of way but in the genuine "existing is painful, no energy, depression" kinda way.

And this is the point that rubs me the wrong way about the majority of complaints thrown at 03 Ed. It's not that wallowing in your own misery makes for good entertainment, but it's an important part of 03's themes and its point. I can also, just, relate more to this unproductive sense of pain. I have depression, that is what depression looks and feels like. It's unproductive, it's painful, it can't be fixed by someone just walking up to you and giving a dramatic speech. And that's why the way 03 expresses hurt resonates with me in a way that BH's just doesn't. It's low octane, and that's the point. That's what makes it good.

BH's Ending is a lot more Straight-Forwards than 03's Ending

I think that's the best way I can put it without saying something I flat out disagree with. BH, in general, is much more straight-forwards than 03, and the endings of both show embody that. BH is, ultimately, a fun show where the heroes have to take a bunch of twists and turns to come out victorious. Meanwhile, 03 is an extremely messy show about characters being put in fucked up situations and no one coming out of it unscathed. It's about decisions that will haunt you for the rest of your life. It's about situations where the right answer is the one you least want to accept. It's a show about how the people will create doctrines to shield themselves from the truth. And it's a show about human selfishness. The endings of both shows are exactly how their shows should have ended. BH was never going to have a bad ending and 03 was never going to have a completely satisfactory ending. If 03 had a happy ending, the show would've been worse off for it.

So, yeah, BH's ending is a lot more straight-forward. It's a happy ending where everyone gets what they want more or less. Narrative knots are tied. All that shit. I personally thought the ending was nothing special. Like, it's another happy ending. I can't fault people for enjoying it for that, but it's not the type of thing that's going to stand out in my brain.

Meanwhile, 03's ending does a lot of nontraditional things. There's arguably multiple major plot twists that come out of nowhere and are more of a "fuck you" to the audience than anything else. The protagonists end the series arguably off worse than where they started. Wrath and Gluttony are still alive and haven't had their arcs concluded in any satisfying way. There's no guarantee that the setting or the characters in it will continue to be okay after the series ends. And that's okay. The ending of 03 is very messy because it's meant to be messy because the point that the show is making is that the world is neither straightforward nor fair, which is why you gotta keep doing the best you can to improve it. That's why the ending is uplifting. Even though Edward's in arguably the worst position he's been in throughout the series, having literally lost everything, he hasn't given up, so you, the viewer, shouldn't give up either. Life doesn't end until it ends, so you should live.

And yeah, the ways that 03's and BH's ending function are fundamentally different. I can totally see why one ending would pass someone by. Like I already said, I didn't feel anything watching BH's ending but 03's ending felt very significant to me, and I could totally understand the inverse being true for some people.

Conclusion

People give BH too much credit and shit too much on 03. Like, 03 is just the better show. It's just that 03 isn't designed to be a comfortable watch in the same way BH is. You're meant to leave BH feeling good, you're meant to leave 03 with a lot to think about. If 03 makes you uncomfortable, that's a feature, not a bug. Many of the fan advertised strengths and weaknesses of each show is really just differences in genre.

And while I've repeatedly conveyed that 03 is the better show, that's not because BH is bad; 03 is just really fucking good. It's like comparing Elden Ring to Dark Souls 1; sure they're made by the same developers and have a lot of surface level similarities, but they're so fundamentally different experiences that viewing them through the same lens isn't fair to either. There are a lot of things that BH does well, and there are a lot of things that 03 does well. But it's not fair to say "BH does X thing better than 03 therefore it's better" (or the occasions where the inverse claim is made) because both shows are trying to paint very different pictures, to the point where I don't consider them to be parts of the same genre. There may be similar components, but the way those components are used is very different from one-another. Comparing the two shows makes for interesting analysis, but it's bad for the purposes of actually criticizing either show.

[jbuffyangel]

Hi this may be an odd question but reading your blog (and other Olicity blogs) it strikes me that while you provide insightful in depth analysis of the show at large you proudly admit that Oliver and Felicity’s relationship is paramount to your overall enjoyment and investment in the show. I personally possess a lot of internal shame stemming from my primary focus on the ship and will feel the need to justify my interest in the other aspects of the show (which I do love but I also love Olicity). I struggle with this with not just Arrow but any tv show where the romantic relationship isn’t intended to be the main premise of a show. I know I am allowing myself to be impacted by the views of comic book (and mostly male) fans and I can acknowledge that many of their views on Olicity fans and the show at large when it comes to the ship are at least somewhat if not primarily misogynistic. Despite knowing it comes from a sexist place which loves to shame women for enjoying romance and reduce our enjoyment to a surface level guilty pleasure unaware of the ways a romantic relationship can add major depth and development to a story as is the case with Arrow (although even if it didn’t add that it would still be valid to like the romance aspects), I still internalize those sexist sentiments and feel ashamed and like I cannot fully enjoy those things are I have to add caveats of my enjoyment. I was just wondering if you ever struggled with this or if you have always felt confident in proudly proclaiming your interest and investment in ships or if it was something that evolved over time. I’m sorry if this is a weird question I just witnessed your confidence in the validity of your passion and I wish I could have that conviction and not feel the shame that misogynistic society has given me in regards to shipping and enjoying romance. It’s definitely much harder in a fandom like Arrow where antis will openly voice their disdain for shippers and make extremely disparaging remarks and assumptions about Olicity shippers but I have felt this way in other fandoms too even when non shippers aren’t this aggressive or sexist.

Hello Nonnie!!!! I am so happy you reached out :) Apologies for the delay. I haven't checked my inbox for about a week. You write so beautifully!

To be honest, I've always marched to the beat of my own drum. I was a sick kid and had difficulty making friends because of it. I was teased in school a lot because of my health issues. Elementary school was not fun. I liked my mom and I liked being home. (These things really haven't changed). The Lord blessed me with a great imagination and a love for stories. I would just play by myself because the world I invented was so much cooler than reality.

It did give me a very strong independent streak, which my parents encouraged. The world had been very cruel to them as well. I was highly encouraged to stand up for myself, tell people where to stick it, and not care what other people think.

I was much healthier in high school and made a bunch of friends. But even my friends, who I know love me to this day, thought it was weird how obsessed I was with Buffy the Vampire Slayer. My family thought I joined a cult lol. I just like what I like. It never mattered to me if anyone else liked it.

I find it absolutely insane that anyone looks down on love stories. Love stories have been around for as long as there's been human beings on this planet. Every culture has love stories. Why? Love is central to being human. Love is what MAKES us human. We are here on this planet to be loved and to love in return. It's the whole damn point. And I'm not speaking just about romance. We build our lives around all kinds of different relationships. It is not exclusive to romantic love.

But let's address romantic stories, since that seems to be the genre asshats have a problem with. The question is why? Probably because it's popular with women and God forbid we'd be supportive of women and things they like. The horror. I think you absolutely nailed it here:

Despite knowing it comes from a sexist place which loves to shame women for enjoying romance and reduce our enjoyment to a surface level guilty pleasure...

But sometimes I think there are more personal reasons people have such vile reactions to it. Maybe they don't have romantic love in their own life. Maybe they've been hurt by partners. Maybe they've been rejected and are lonely. Maybe romance stories are a painful reminder of what they don't have. I'm not sure. What I do know is that hurt people hurt people. So, more often than not, what I feel is not shame, but pity.

We're clearly on the right track since every television show, movie, book and comic book has some romantic element to it. Romance sells. So, feel confident because you are in the majority.

I don't give the comic book crowd too much thought. My attitude when it came to Arrow was there's plenty of room for everyone to love what they love, hate what they hate, and go about their merry way. Don't like my blog? Cool. There's the door. Plenty of fish in the sea friends. Seek out other bloggers. Start your own blog! The internet is a vast place. Go with God.

But there is an element of ownership within that community that makes them think they can dictate who can watch a show/movie, what we can like or dislike, who can portray the characters on screen, what stories should be told and how they should be told. It's not just romance. Comic book fans are LOUD about basically everything.

To a certain extent, I get it. You love a character and their stories for a long time. It's very exciting when those stories which only existed on paper are going to be brought to life onscreen. Comic books are a refuge for many people, no different than books or movies. So, it can be very upsetting when you don't feel the tv show or movie has met your expectations. I've been bummed out on more than one occasion with books being made into a movie or television show. We've all been there.

But that doesn't mean they get to be the bouncers at the door. They don't get to gatekeep. They don't get to be racists assholes when an actor or actress doesn't look exactly like the character on the page. They are entitled to their opinion, and their opinion only, but it does not give them a free pass to be hateful towards others who may disagree.

I don't want to single out comic book fans out - this is a general internet problem. People just become assholes behind a keyboard. They say things they would never have the guts to say in person. And clearly this is not ALL comic book fans. I have met many wonderful comic book fans who are welcoming and kind. They love Olicity just as much as I do. Even if they didn't, they respect differing opinions. They are just good human beings overall.

In the beginning of my blog, I debated with antis a lot because I thought we were all just having fun. But when the death threats started because I like Olicity and believed Arrow was going to kill off Laurel Lance, then I reached a point where maybe I was dealing with people who were a few paper plates short of a picnic, if ya know what I'm mean. It's a TELEVISION SHOW. These characters are NOT REAL. But there's no reasoning with crazy.

Do you know who are huge comic book fans? Greg Berlanti and Marc Guggenheim. We're talking HARD CORE. And who created Olicity? Greg and Marc. Don't even get me started on the hate they receive.

I know there were entire Reddit threads devoted to trashing me and my blog. Did I read it? No. Did I engage with those people? No. When Stephen Amell's Facebook became a cesspool of terrible antis going after Olicity fans - I left. Did I read the messages in my inbox that were nasty? Nope. DELETED. Did I read the Lauriver tag on tumblr? Nope. We were North and South. The Red Sox and the Yankees. We were never going to agree, so you stay on your side and I'll stay on mine. And when some in the Olicity fandom turned on me because I was still enjoying the show in later seasons, I unfollowed and blocked if necessary. It really boils down to this - can you disagree with someone and remain a polite and kind person? Many folks do not have this skill.

The key to mental health on the internet is control your environment. Do not engage with people who are mean. It's really that simple. Because no matter how "strong" you are mentally, over time, nasty and demeaning comments have a way of sinking in and taking root inside your mind. It's completely understandable that your feelings get hurt because that's the intention! They are trying to hurt you. They are trying to shame you. So don't give them the opportunity.

Does that mean there will be some websites, blogs, social media sites that you don't go to anymore? Yes. Does that mean there will be some fans you don't engage with? Yes. But you know what? The internet is a vast place and there are plenty of people out there who share your opinions. Who love what you love and want nothing more than to chat with you about it until 4 am in the morning. Those are your people. That's your community.

And just for the record, romance loving shippers can be terrible too. I've seen awful behavior from our side of the fence so we're certainly not exempt from the behavior we receive from antis. And loving romance is no guarantee people will be nice either. My shipper flag was forged in the fiery pits of shipper hell - The Vampire Diaries fandom. Nasty doesn't even come close to what I experienced in the great Stelena vs. Delena wars. Arrow is child's play in comparison.

Here's the thing. Arrow is about one man's evolution to a superhero. He could not become that superhero without the love of one woman. LOVE is central to Oliver Queen's development and if you don't understand that part of the story then you really don't understand Arrow.

I think you'll find when it comes to Arrow that it's not romance antis have a problem with. It's who Oliver's romantic partner is. If it was Laurel Lance they would've been happier than clams. But Arrow deviated from "comic book canon" and developed an organic character with an actress Stephen Amell actually had chemistry with. And they CANNOT get over it. But thems the breaks.

I think my perspective on humanity has not really evolved past age six in kindergarten. If you make fun of me or are cruel then you're not a nice person and I will have nothing to do with you going forward. I've approached life like this and overall I have come out the other side a healthier person because of it. The beauty of the internet is there's always another playground to find friends.

I've always been a shipper since I was a little kid. I could never understand why Bobby & Pam couldn't work it out on Dallas. Loved every single husband Erica Kane had on All My Children. (My mother let me watch some wildly inappropriate tv as a kid). I was really torn between Prince Lotor and Keith for Princess Allura on Voltron. I really didn't understand why He-Man and She-Ra couldn't date. I was obsessed with Jerrica and Rio on Jem. And on and on it goes.

In the immortal words of our Queen, Taylor Swift, "The worst kind of person is someone who makes someone feel bad, dumb or stupid for being excited about something.” She's bang on. Always trust in TSwizzle. I'm a 42 year old woman with a full life who wears her shipper flag proudly. Love what you love my friend. Screw the haters.

And feel free to message me whenever you want to talk shipping. This is a shipper safe zone and always will be. You have absolutely NOTHING to be ashamed of.

[edutainer2022]

Character Ask Game

25. What was your first impression of this character? How about now?

For Scott.

@janetm74 Thank you so much for the ask!

I will revisit a little meta I did on getting to know Scotty as a character and have some additions.

"How do I love thee, let me count the ways". I stumbled into TAG through Tumblr osmosis I think some time in the second half of Season 1 run. I remember liking the 2004 movie, and I zeroed in on the "missing Dad" part, but I was generally amiably "on the fence" and non-committal. Nice boys, overall. A little bit too much focus on "child hero" Alan (because it's a kids cartoon and you're an adult, duh!). I was dabbing into bits and pieces here and there, not having a full picture. Tunnels of Time drew my attention, because of the sheer DEVASTATION Scott demonstrated. The elder brother and in charge sans Dad - I was bound to pay attention. John was the character I am - an introverted "intellectual". But the Tall, dark, charismatic and going kinda recklessly nyoooom didn't hurt either. Then I came across Recharge. And it hit me like that Runaway train. My Dad died when I was 22 and I took over as head of the family, as my Mom checked out in grief. I'm fairly sure I GAVE THAT SAME SPEECH in the Arctic tent to someone at some point - I miss him, I HAVE TO DO IT ALL (and do it fast), keeping busy with IR the PhD/work/postdoc/more work is the only thing that keeps me from going crazy. Verbatim. I'm still giving that speech sometimes. I saw a mirror of grief, self-worth issues and (non)coping mechanisms I recognized so much it was uncanny. So I knew these things: I've met yet another character that I know all too well what makes tick and will love forever - it's pretty much always the same character, give or take; the uppity Top Gun Flyboy persona is absolutely a facade - he's Tall, Dark, and Emotionally Compromised (hello there, sweetie!); I need to rewatch the earlier episodes keeping that in mind. And of course, Recharge (re)contextulizes everything - chasing a sizable city time and again to martyr himself for or to generally self-destruct, chasing Dad's shadow pretty much beyond the edge all but consciously (pretty candid for a kids show), going insane with a combo of worry, grief and guilt, keeping up the Next in Command mantle, sometimes just barely, the whole convo with Lee up to and including asking him to stay, the Chain of Command implications, the Hood's return implications, randomly adopting people and pushing them to be and do better. And just like that, I SAW Scott Tracy.

That was nine years ago, give or take. I've been through more losses, pressure of "command", responsibility, betrayal and just plain tragedy ever since. And every step of the way I feel I can relate to Scott more. The need to lift and inspire people to be their best selves - even when your own soul is writhing in pain and doubt. The crippling guilt over failure. The understated loneliness. The very unsubtle nonexistent concept of personal happiness. Being back in fandom also helped me explore (and confirm) and share lots of nuance about this character that I also felt were true. I wish for Scott a lot healthier emotional coping structure and support going on into his next decade than I got his age. He's my emotional support emotional wreck and disaster.