#i'm not being told by anyone in that squad to say any of this but its something ive been passionate about that i never see anyone talk abt

[yonpote]

omg i just realized i never talked about the whole captioning thing on here

so Before I Deleted Twitter™ i went on a huge rant about how dnp have used fans to caption their videos for years, and while before it was thru the youtube community captioning system, now that feature is gone they have just been straight up relying on fans to caption everything for them for free and how that's kinda fucked ESPECIALLY because so many youtubers after the community captions thing was gone, went to hire either a professional company or other PAID methods of getting captions for their videos.

if anyone goes back to watch an older dnp video and turn captions, you may notice that they used to have kinda weird things in them. this was back when Anyone could upload captions to any video, so people would throw in phandom memes, inside jokes, their own commentary on the video, etc. completely defeating the purpose of captions that are supposed to be JUST what you hear in the video. the current captioning squad has really made it so that captions on new videos are accurate and not just complete nonsense and have become basically essential people for dnp.

tbh i would say most youtubers don't even bother with captions and just have the auto-generated ones which sucks, but like. bros can afford to pay people for captions. channels much smaller than theirs do! it's wonderful that this dedicated group of people who speak different languages all decided to make dan and phil's videos more accessible! like, captions are an accessibility feature plain and simple. people who are d/Deaf, hard of hearing, don't speak the native language, have an audio processing disorder, or even just have to watch the video on silent or low volume for some reason, have to rely on captions and the fact that dnp don't pay people for this is shitty.

the two options they have is either pay a professional captioning company to do captions, or pay the fans who are already doing this. but if they go with the former, that may mean they won't go through to make sure the captions are done in all the languages currently being done. which is why i really hope they consider going with the latter. idk everyone in the captioning squad, but i know for a fact many of them have full-time jobs, so captioning is just a thing they do on the side out of passion and wanting dnp to be accessible in their own spoken languages. so considering just how long many of them have been doing this, i think they deserve to be compensated for. it's been really fuckin cool to see that dnp have started working with well known and talented fanartists and have paid them well, and i think that should extend to the captioners.

[myhornysaga]

If there's ever a conversation in context of you or you and Keegan, there's 4 words that are always present in the sentence... 'crazy, psychotic beautiful bitch'

You and keegan are nothing but a messy 'couple'(?) Heck you two are both insane. For crying out loud, you married him the evening he was leaving for his deployment, he was 21, you were 19. After that deployment his entire life and personality changed.

He would never talk about what happened in that deployment, neither any of his colleagues did. All you knew was something really bad went on there and he lost most of his teammates.

The marriage started to turn sour due to Keegan's sudden PTSD/panic attacks. And they were bad. Its something you never told anyone or ready to talk about.

Needless to say in almost 2 years of your marriage, it ended as abruptly as it began, all on a whim.

The reason keegan's teammates started calling you crazy is due to the fact you just stomped into the Marines base on a fine tuesday to drop the divorce papers. Keegan had a 36 hour shift that day.

And that is how you both divorced.

Everyone thought you both are on your different path now, with someone new. Keegan's friends tried to encourage him to find 'some other chick' or 'plenty fish in the sea' or saying that you were toxic anyway. The boys did their best to encourage the man who got divorced so publicly.

But all their 'encouragement' went to waste.

As it turned out, as soon as keegan's shift ended, he came to the abode which was two days ago a marital home and you both had verbal fight which turned physical in under few moments...

"I CAN'T do this SHIT anymore Keegan", you screamed at him.

Your ex husband has always, by nature, has been quiet man. Only speaking when spoken to and only speaking if necessary.

But on god you ARE something else! You make this usually quiet man want to scream his throat out.

"Couldn't you have waited ONE FUCKING DAY for the divorce?!" He growled.

You two sweared like sailors at each other and then you came a little close to his face pointing your index finger, trying to look intimidating.

Your finger pointed towards him so close triggered his PTSD. He immediately grabbed held your finger then tricep and then he threw you onto the ground on your belly while your arm behind your back.

It all happened so fast you couldn't grasp what even happened. All you knew was your right arm was hurting a little and keegan was on top of you.

Shit. Its started. You know this is one of his panic attacks! You have seen it before but this was new. This has never happened in midst of a 'conversation'.

"Keegan? Babe? Its me y/n babe you need to calm down its just me", you started frantically calm him down. Your chest hurts due to his weight on top of you.

Keegan was in a daze, all that was going in his head was how all his squad died on that fateful day. How he hid under the corpse of a Sargeant, covered in that dead man's blood in order to look like corpse.

He snapped out of it the moment he heard your voice and rolled off of you and laid on the wooden floor with his hand on his chest, heavily panting as if to grasp as much air as possible.

You were finally free of his weight and quickly got up and saddled on him and started to calm him down by gently patting, caressing his face. You started to kiss him.

"It will be okay babe, I'm here, im right here. Its okay, you're safe now." You whispered into his ear while peppering him with your warm kisses.

He was back. He opened his arms to hug you and happily gave in.

He hugged you tight.

"I'm sorry y/n", he mumbled.

And since then, despite being officially Ex husband and Ex wife, you still live in his house and still sleep with him.

Your bond has become more stronger than when you two were 'married'.

You two still fight, but it always ends up in a rough makeout session.

Keegan's teammates will never get why Keegan is with you. But then again, even they know nothing beats 'the crazier the better'.

--------------------------------------------------

M.list

[libraryofgage]

Harlequin Prince (3)

Part of: Steve Deserves Good Parents, Actually

Debbie and Fester Addams One | Two | Three | Four | Five | Six Rick and Evelyn O'Connell One | Two | Three Harley Quinn One | Two | Three (you're here!) 10th Doctor and Rose One | Two Scooby Gang (there are plans for this one lmao, so plz be patient with me orz) Jedidiah and Octavius (from Night at the Museum) One | Two Queen Clarisse Renaldi One | Two | Three Leverage Crew One

So that Suicide Squad Isekai anime huh (it's great, I love it actually)

Anyway, I'll be playing fast and loose with Batman canon so all the batkids can be around at the same time have fun with that cuz I did (also forgive me if anyone is a little too OOC; i'm here for a good time not a long time), and the little flashback bit will continue in the next parts as Steve meets more batkids ^_^

As always, if you see any typos, no you didn't UwU

----

Harley drops him off at Wayne Manor just after ten in the morning. She tugs a window open, carries him inside, kisses him on the forehead, and promises to pick him up in a week before climbing back out. Steve watches her until she's past the gate, clutching a Green Lantern plush his mother insisted he carry around because it'll annoy his Uncle Bruce.

Steve glances down at the plush, wishing his mother didn't have to go off on a mission when she'd just gotten out of Arkham two months ago. His wishes won't actually change anything, though, so he might as well make the best of his week with Uncle Bruce.

He turns on his heel, taking in the plain bedroom that will probably become his for the next few days. He holds the Green Lantern plush close and marches to the door, stepping out into the hall and choosing a random direction to walk in.

According to his mother, Wayne Manor can have anywhere between two and ten people staying in it at one time. She told him that Dick would be the most welcoming, if not the most confused, the girls would be the most fun, and Damien would be the most guarded, likely to consider him a threat for his entire stay.

It's just his luck that the first person he runs into is Damien. The other boy drops from the ceiling, blade of his sword glinting in the light as it comes to a stop just against Steve's neck. Steve freezes, glancing down at the sharp edge as Damien says, "Think very carefully before answering. Who are you, and what are you doing in my home?"

Steve looks away from the sword, tilting his head slightly as he shrugs. "I'm Steve. I'm staying here for a week," he says.

Damien's eyes narrow, and he takes a step closer, adjusting his arms so the katana doesn't move. "Says who? Does Father know you're here? Are you a spy sent by my mother?"

"Says my mom. Maybe. No," Steve replies.

A few more seconds pass before Damien hums. "Who's your mother?"

"Harley."

"Quinn?"

"Is there another?"

Slowly, Damien lowers the sword. "I suppose Quinn is somewhat reformed. How old are you?" he asks.

"Almost six."

"So, you're five," Damien says, nodding once. He sheathes his sword, apparently deciding Steve is no threat to him. "That makes me older than you, so you have to do what I say. Consider me your big brother for the week."

"Are you gonna make me hurt myself?"

"No."

"Mom said you wouldn't like me."

"Father said I should try being more trusting and welcoming. You are small and untrained, like a puppy. I could dismember you before you hurt me, which makes you ideal for practicing," Damien explains. He's quiet for a few seconds before getting a slight smirk. "Besides, it will greatly annoy my brothers if you obviously prefer me over them."

"I'm great at pretending as long as we can do fun stuff, too."

"Then we have a deal. You will act like I'm your favorite, and I will make sure you have fun."

Steve considers this, decides Damien is well on his way to actually being Steve's favorite, and steps closer. "Mom said Alfred makes the best cookies. Can we have some?"

"Yes," Damien says, "If you're hungry, then it's my responsibility to feed you as your big brother."

He offers his hand, seeming unsure when Steve takes it, like he isn't used to this kind of contact. Still, he doesn't pull away; he just hesitantly squeezes Steve's hand before leading him down the hall.

----

Not two days ago, Steve was telling himself he'd never set foot in Hawkins High School. Now, after getting the run down on the Upside Down (and holy shit did this place suddenly get a thousand times more interesting), Steve decides he'll just have to brave the brick walls to get Eddie out.

He leans forward on his motorcycle, arms resting on the handlebars as he looks up at the building. There's an American flag waving in the wind, faded paint on the outside, and security so lax it'd be suspicious in Gotham. Steve briefly considers leaving his helmet on, but he settles for placing it on the seat once he's off the motorcycle.

Walking into the school is easy. He doesn't even get stopped by the receptionist at the front desk. She just waves him in without looking up from her book. So, yeah, getting in is easy; figuring out where Eddie is might be a little harder.

He wanders the halls and stops the first student he sees, a girl with short brown hair carrying an unwieldy instrument case in her arms. Steve places his hands on the case and gently pushes down, flashing a grin when he can finally see her face. "Uh, can I help you?" she asks, her tone implying she very much does not want to help him.

"Yeah, I'm looking for someone," Steve says.

Her nose wrinkles slightly in disgust. "Listen, dingus, if this is some kind of pick-up line dare, save it," she says, rolling her eyes. She takes a step back and Steve follows.

"Nope, definitely not," he says, "You're not my type, sorry."

"Excuse me?"

"Well, unless you're not a girl...," he says, voice trailing off and eyebrow raising as he watches her understand his meaning.

She blinks, her shoulders rising some. She glances around, confirms the hallway is still empty, and relaxes. "Word of advice," she says, "don't just say that shit where anyone can hear. People aren't exactly nice about it around here."

Steve flashes a reassuring smile. "Don't worry, I can take care of myself, but thanks. Anyway, still looking for someone."

"Oh, right, uh, what's their name?"

"Eddie Munson. Know him?"

She blinks again, her eyebrows shooting up in slight disbelief. "Yeah, I know him. Whatcha need him for? He doesn't usually sell until after school."

Oh. Steve hums softly, filing away that tidbit of information for later. "Not here to buy. I'm here to take him somewhere fun," he says.

A few seconds pass in which the girl looks at Steve, drops her gaze to the instrument case between them, and then glances around the empty hall. "Well, shit, man, I wanna go somewhere fun, too."

Steve considers her for a moment, trying to figure out the logistics of fitting her and Eddie on his bike. Well, he can just have her sit on the handlebars or something. "Okay, but the instrument won't fit," he tells her.

The grin he gets in return tells him that won't be a problem. "Name's Robin, by the way."

This has to be fate, right?

"Steve. Nice to meetcha, Robin."

Robin's grin gets even wider, and Steve knows they'll be great friends.

---

"Eddie usually sits in a corner," Robin says, standing at the edge of the cafeteria with Steve. It's teeming with life, and Steve hears snippets of conversations that blur into one dull roar that settles over the space. It reminds him of bars in Gotham even more than the actual bars he's visited here in Hawkins.

He can't see into the corners from here, but that doesn't bother him. "Wait here," he says, flashing a grin at Robin before walking to a mostly empty table. He climbs onto it, reaches into one of his jacket's inner pockets, and pulls out an air horn.

Steve waits long enough to see Robin cover her ears before raising the horn in the air and pressing down. It blares through the room, drowning out conversations and forcing people at the surrounding tables to cover their ears. A few more seconds pass before Steve lets up on the horn, grinning widely at the sea of eyes turned towards him.

"I'm looking for Eddie Munson," he says, twirling the air horn in the palm of his hand.

Instead of a verbal answer, he watches as the eyes turn from him to a corner across the room. A few people even duck close to their tables to clear Steve's line of sight, allowing him to see a confused Eddie sitting with his friends.

Steve grins, pockets the air horn, and starts making his way across the cafeteria. He walks on tables, jumps between them, and narrowly avoids stepping on more than one tray along the way. By the time he reaches Eddie's table, most of the students have gone back to their lunches and conversations.

"How's it going, Eds?" Steve asks, crouching in front of Eddie with a grin. He glances at the other boys by him, notes the identical Hellfire Club shirts, and nods in acknowledgement.

"Better now," Eddie says, his startled blink telling Steve he definitely didn't mean to say that out loud.

Steve somehow grins wider. "Wanna make like a banana and split? I've got somewhere fun in mind," he says, popping up from his crouch before hopping off the table and into the narrow space between Eddie's chair and his friend's.

"Dude, really?" one of his friends asks. "We have a session today."

Eddie looks torn at that realization, halfway standing and stuck like that. "That we do, Gare-bear," he says, defeat bringing his shoulders down.

"In that case, consider this a kidnapping," Steve tells them, grabbing Eddie's hand and pulling him up. He wraps his arm around Eddie's shoulders, winks at his friends, and promises, "I'll have him home before six, though."

Eddie's friends exchange glances, and Steve graciously pretends not to notice the puppy dog eyes Eddie aims at them. After a few seconds, one of them stands up, towering over Steve and outweighing him by a good bit. He clears his throat, glances at the other two, and tries to sound intimidating as he says, "Make it five thirty, and no funny business."

Steve nods and offers a mocking two-finger salute. "Yes, sir," he replies, flashing a grin before taking Eddie's bag from his seat and dragging him to where Robin is waiting.

"So, where are you kidnapping me to?" Eddie asks, managing to stick close to Steve despite having to weave through chairs and tables.

"Nothing special, really. Just an abandoned laboratory in the middle of the woods that has a gateway to another dimension filled with faceless monsters. Oh, and Robin's coming, too. Don't worry, though, I won't let you get hurt. "

He glances over to meet Eddie's wide eyes, something warm curling behind his ribs when Eddie finally smiles and whispers under his breath, "Fucking metal."

-----

Tag List (definitely still room, so let me know if you'd like to be tagged!):

@nectandra, @y4r3luv, @just-a-tiny-void, @dotdot-wierdlife

@midwestharpy, @twilitdragoneye, @disrespectedgoatman

@lawrencebshoggoth,

And now, a meme:

[tangents-within-tangents]

The Bad Batch as Penguins of Madagascar Quotes

Bc I’ve seen a few posts making this magnificent comparison and both of these squads are near and dear to my heart and bc I need a distraction from the s3 premiere ahhh

Tech: *mission relevant info* Hunter: Tell me something I don’t know! Tech: Without mucus your stomach would digest itself Hunter: … Hunter: Tell me something else I don’t know…something less disturbing

Hunter: (to Caleb) It's okay, kid. We're not going to hurt you Crosshair: *cocks his gun* Not true, Hunter, they did authorize lethal force

Wrecker: *absolutely decking his bros* You pillow fight like a bunch of little girls!

Crosshair: What part of "zip it" eludes you?! The "zip" or the "it"?!

Echo: I don't mind saying it, that guy vexes me. *narrows eyes* He's a vexer.

Hunter: Boys, no training tonight. It's game night! Tech: Trivia! Let's play trivia! I dominate trivia! Omega: Oh! Can we play Simon Says this week? Tech: Yes, Simon says we play TRIVIA!!

Crosshair: I find reason tedious and boring. We'll use force.

Echo: I'm sorry, boys. I sometimes resort to sarcasm when facing the unknown Tech: No doubt

Hunter: Oh I’ve seen accident prone, try Wrecker and Crosshair! With a Chandrilan lantern! And SIX BOTTLES of rocket fuel!! Tech: Worst talent show ever

Hunter: There's no such thing as too paranoid, Omega. Remember that, and forget you ever heard it!

Tech: SCIENCE! WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME?!?

Omega: I have an idea! But I'm not sure how safe it is Wrecker: I like it already!

Crosshair: *while fighting* You cannot win, Hunter! I am fueled with a boiling hate! A raging fury! Hunter: And a babbling mouth! *slaps him*

Omega: No! I swore I’d never use my adorability as a weapon again, and I meant it!

Echo: Wrecker, cover Omega’s ears, I intend to use my angry words

Tech: This red line shows the frustration level of a really smart person forced to take orders from some dunder-brained boob. As you can see the frustration just keeps rising and rising and rising. I mean, why don't they put the smart guy in charge, huh? IT DOESN’T MAKE ANY SENSE! SOMETHING HAS GOT TO GIVE, PEOPLE! AM I THE ONLY ONE SEEING THIS?!

Wrecker and Omega: *run in making incomprehensible panicked noises* Hunter: Anyone catch that? Echo: *nonchalantly interprets it exactly* The Batch: … Echo: What? I’m fluent in panic

Tech: Cool cars go faster. That's a scientific fact.

Cody, in his one episode: I believe now I know why “volunteers” ends in “tears”

Hunter: No batcher gets left behind, that’s why! Wrecker: What about Crosshair? Hunter: Okay, one batcher gets left behind Omega: and Echo? Hunter: Maybe two batchers get left behind Tech: Um… Hunter: *groan* Comparatively few batchers get left behind, okay?!

Omega: I thought you agreed this was a dangerous weapon! Wrecker: Which is the best kind! What good is a safe weapon?! Tech: He has a point

Hunter: Avert your eyes, young Omega, you’ll never be able to unsee this! Tech, recording bc that’s his freaking hobby: Don’t worry about it I’ll burn you a dvd!

Crosshair: *standing outside the Marauder* Hunter! I have brought you a hand drawn greeting card! It says “Roses are red. Posies are green. Sorry about Bracca, I was too mean. Your pal, Crosshair” :) Hunter: *walks out and shreds the card*

Hunter: Get up here. That’s an order! Tech: *salutes* Permission to defy order? Hunter: Permission denied! Tech: Then I deny your denial (sorry)

Echo: *watching Hunter and Wrecker, captured and surrounded by stormtroopers* Well this hardly seems fair Echo: *jumps in a walker and defeats them easily* Told you it wasn't fair

*Phee and Tech kiss* Omega: *eyes being covered by Hunter* awww Wrecker: Finally!

[withahappyrefrain]

I wish you would write a fic where … Venus is in the Navy and there’s where she and Jake meet each other (she doesn’t need to be a pilot but I’m dying to see how it would be if she were a fellow Navy personnel)

k bye love you

Fe the way this has been marinating in my brain! This an amazing idea I love it!

"This is so fucking stupid," Jake muttered as his squad gathered together. It was only the fourth time he had complained about it today, but fourth time’s the charm, right? 

Even if he was silent (rare but possible), the annoyance practically radiated off of him. Gone was that signature smirk and in its place his lips were drawn in a thin line, eyes narrowed as he kept his arms firmly crossed over his broad chest. 

"You realize that this has nothing to do with whether they think we're good or not, right?" Natasha asked, rolling her eyes. 

"And see, that's where you're wrong because it absolutely does. If they thought we were good enough, they wouldn't think we needed training from them," Jake explained, his voice coated in a vexing tone. 

"It's their whole job, you do realize that? Right?" Reuben asked, shaking his head. The whole squad had gathered outside the doors, wanting to come in together before the first meeting. What they didn’t think about was that it meant being forced to hear Jake. 

Most of the squad was fine with the Star Warriors coming in to help with training. Some were even excited. 

And then there was Jake. 

Jake who could only shake his head as he clenched his fists and rolled his eyes, "I don't care whether it's their job or not. It's the fact they think we seriously need training that's insulting."

"Well, I'm excited to meet them!" Bob piped in, hoping to break the tension, "I've heard great things about the Star Warriors."

"Yeah, really great things," Bradley said a bit too gleefully, ignoring the death glare from Jake, "Did you know on the Star Warriors is Venom, the only other pilot-"

"Knock it off Bradshaw,” Jake snapped, his tone sharp. 

"of this generation that has an airstrike kill? Therefore, breaking our beloved Bagman's record and making him eternally jealous?"

"I am not jealous!" Jake snapped, "Besides I read the report. It was all pure luck, not much skill, if any."

Sure, it hurt a little, truly a miniscule amount, when Jake learned he was no longer the only one who had achieved such a rare accomplishment. But after reading the report, he knew he was still the better pilot.

No jealousy at all. That would be ridiculous to hold against a person he’s never met, never even seen before. 

"So you're jealous," Phoenix smirked, "Well I'm excited because it has the highest number of women in a Navy squad and frankly this place needs more women.”

"If you tell anyone I said this, I'll deny it. But," Bradley's voice dropped to a whisper, "Mav had a fling with the Captain of the squad back in the day."

Everyone gasped, well, everyone except Jake.

"There's no way Mav was able to pull Penny Benjamin!" Natasha whispered, "Dude, I had her picture on my wall when I was a kid!"

It was purely because Captain Penny Benjamin was an idol for all girls who wanted to join the Navy. Being one of the first female pilots to fly in a combat mission will do that. Nothing to do with her looks. 

Maybe a little. 

“It was before she enlisted. But yeah, that's why he told us to all be on our best behavior,” Bradley explained, reveling in the fact he could contribute to the hot gossip for once.  

Mickey snorted, “He has been looking like he's about to shit his pants at any moment.” 

Javy looked over his shoulder just in case the short instructor was looming by, “You think he still wants her?”

“Considering he’s been trying to follow Cyclone’s orders for the last couple days? I’d say so,” Bradley smirked. 

“We should get in there before they take the front tables,” Jake said, crossing his arms. That,  combined with the small pout on his face made Jake resemble a child that had been told there was no more cake. 

At least that’s how Bob saw it. Not that he would say it out loud (yet). 

As the squad went inside, they stopped when they noticed the front four tables had a piece of paper on them, each saying ‘RESERVED’ in bold letters. 

“He reserved the front tables for them?” Jake whispered, not even bothering to hide the disgust in his voice. 

“Oh, he wants her bad,” Mickey chuckled as he took a seat next to Reuben. 

“You think?” Bob muttered as he got out his paper and pad. He didn’t mind the seating change because it gave him a better chance to observe. An act of subtlety that Jake would probably never learn. 

“Careful Seresin, there’s steam coming out of your ears,” Bradley whispered as he sat down at the table across from Jake and Javy. 

“It’s just some tables, don’t worry,” Javy assured his best friend, internally praying that Jake would be able to keep his cool for once. Today, of all days, was not the time nor place for Jake to lose his temper, or worse, push others to do so. 

Jake sneered, ignoring Bradley’s comment as he got out his notebook. Checking his watch, he already felt better- this supposedly ‘amazing’ squad was five minutes late. 

Maverick said something about issues with parking. 

“Typical,” Jake muttered. This supposedly ‘elite’ squad couldn’t figure out parking?

“Maybe they could have parked if your car didn't take up three spaces,” Bradley remarked, as if he could read Jake’s mind.

“My car is not that big,” Jake defended. Some called his Jeep Wrangler an ‘eyesore’. Jake didn’t think his colleagues had any right to judge his car, Bradshaw in particular. 

Natasha rolled her eyes, “Your parking is heinous. How many spots did you take up today, Seresin?”

“One!” Jake rolled his eyes, “And a half.”

“What was that?”

“Nothing!”

The sound of the door opening saved Jake from further scrutiny. There in the doorway stood Penny Benjamin and her supposedly elite crew. He saw the captain of his squad straighten up, clearly hoping to add a few inches to his height. 

There were many women, more than one usually sees in a Navy squadron. That alone was enough to turn one’s head. 

But one  in particular stood out to Jake. 

She was right behind Penny, standing tall as she walked into the room. She was striking with her amber eyes and dark hair pulled back in a sleek ponytail. There was an air of confidence about her; she had no trouble standing tall in the front of a room full of strangers. 

“Thank you for your patience. My squad and I are honored that we get to work with you,” Penny Benjamin smiled as she addressed the group, “We've heard many great things about this squad.” 

“And we've heard many wonderful things about yours,” Maverick said. Jake fought the urge to roll his eyes, not wanting to stop looking at this  mystery girl. Her plush lips had formed into a tight smile as her eyes continued to scan the room. The dark green of her flight suit was striking against her sun kissed skin. 

When they landed on Jake, he was ready with a bold wink and a dazzling smile. Laying on the Texan charm, as he always did. 

She rolled her eyes, whispering something to the blonde haired woman next to her. 

Huh. That usually did the trick. 

Jake wasn’t nervous. He liked that she remained strong. It spoke volumes of her focus. 

Oh fuck, she smiled. 

Whatever the woman next to her whispered, it made his dream girl’s eyes light up. Her cheeks rounded as a grin overtook her face. It was one, if not the, most beautiful sight Jake had ever seen. And he had seen sunsets and sunrises all over the globe. 

Shit, he was nervous. He shifted in his seat, looking down at his boots. His face felt warm, was he blushing? She didn’t even smile at him and he was blushing. 

Fuck. 

“I’ll let my team introduce themselves. This way we can all be some sort of name basis, be it callsigns or our government names,” Penny explained, earning a chuckle from Pete that Jake would normally gag at. Instead, he remained poised, eyes remaining on the beautiful woman that was standing next to Penny.  

The first woman to step forward had long blonde hair swept into a ponytail and eyes bluer than the sky. She was striking and normally what Jake would go for. But today was proving to be different. 

“Lieutenant Camellia Garcia. Callsign Cielo,” She said with a sweet smile, her eyes remaining on Mickey. 

He returned the smile, ignoring the playful nudge Reuben was giving him. 

“Wait, is that your wife?!” Javy blurted out, earning a giggle from Penny’s squad, along with Natasha, Bob, and Reuben. It was known Mickey’s wife was also in the military, though he didn’t make her area widely known. 

“No, they just have the same last name for funsies,” Natasha commented, forcing Bob to stifle a laugh. Bradley continued to look bewildered (not that Nora minded). 

“Yes, we do have a pair of lovebirds together. But after Penny and I discussed it extensively, we realized it shouldn’t be a problem,” Pete explained. 

Camellia turned her head to face the smaller Captain, “It was never a problem Captain.” 

“That’s my Cielo,” Mickey muttered under his breath, making zero attempts to hide how pleased he was. 

A woman with military issued glasses was next to step forward. Her doe eyes had been scanning the room while Penny spoke, always alert.  “Lieutenant Nora Anderson, weapon systems officer. Callsign Birdie.”

Bradley’s ears perked up upon hearing her callsign. Immediately, he straightened up, leaning forward as his eyes remained intensely on her. He might as well have cartoon hearts in his eyes. 

Birdie definitely noticed, looking away immediately after locking eyes with the mustached pilot, a red flush overtaking her face.  

Amateurs, Jake thought. After that brief moment, he regained his composure, arms crossed as he moved his toothpick around with his mouth. You never make it obvious. 

He was very obvious. 

After Birdie, a woman with curly hair stepped forward. With her shining hazel eyes and bright smile, the only word that could best describe her was adorable. 

“Lieutenant Maeve Castellanos. Callsign Athena.” 

Great, now Bob was staring. Fucking Bob, Baby on Board, of all people, with his cheeks bright red and blue eyes having turned into the living embodiment of hearts. 

They were all falling one by one. Soon Jake would be the only one standing strong. He could only shake his head at his coworkers before diverting his attention back to the Goddess that was next to Penny. 

Finally, she stepped up. She smiled confidently as her eyes scanned the room before speaking in a self assured tone, “Lieutenant Commander Danica Morales. Callsign Venom.”

Oh. 

As Penny’s crew moved to sit down, Jake’s coworkers turned to him, expecting an annoyed look plastered on his face. 

Instead, his eyes seemed to be…shining? Rather than a scowl, his lips had formed into what could best be described as Jake’s signature ‘shit eating grin’. 

“Huh.” Was all he let out. It wasn’t one of confusion, if anything it reeked of satisfaction, which was odd considering how irritated he was 15 minutes ago. 

“Do you have something you’d like to add, Lieutenant Seresin?” Penny asked, much to everyone’s dismay- Pete’s particularly. 

Jake straightened up, leaning forward over the table, resembling someone who was about to sweet talk a bartender rather than a Captain. 

“I’m just honored to be working with you all, particularly Lieutenant Commander Morales. You know, it’s not every day the best meets the best.” 

If looks could kill, Jake would already be dead. Not just from Danica, but from the eyebrow raises and baffled looks from the rest of his squad.  If it bothered Jake, hell, if he even noticed, he wasn’t letting on. He simply smirked, eyes remaining on who he once described as his rival. 

“However, I do have to say something,” He began. 

“Please don’t,” Bob muttered, pinching the bridge of his nose to prepare himself for whatever bullshit was about to flow out of his coworker’s mouth. 

“They made a mistake with your call sign. Venom doesn’t suit you,” he explained as if it was obvious. 

Maeve scoffed, “Clearly you’ve never heard her over comms.”  

Bob now owed Nat ten bucks after claiming there wasn’t a girl on Penny’s squad for him. 

Jake ignored the comment, continuing to talk much to everyone’s dismay, “It should have been Venus. After your beauty.” 

The room was so silent, you could hear a pin drop. 

Danica tilted her head to the side in an attempt to comprehend Jake’s words. Whereas the 45 degree angle tilt seemed to help her cat, Rugelach, understand things, it did not when it came to understanding Jake fucking Seresin. 

“Is he….” Nora turned to Maeve, absolutely bewildered, “....on something?”

Maeve rolled her eyes, “Unfortunately no, he had to pass a drug test to be here.”

Nora’s eyes widened, “So he’s….he just said that sober?”

“Welcome to the club, it doesn’t get better,” Bob muttered. Maeve gave him an apologetic smile, making the bespectacled WOS blush, eliciting an amused smirk from Natasha. The moment was a great reprieve from the fuckery that was their blonde teammate. 

Bradley leaned over, “If you want Nora, I can give you the rundown on Seresin after this briefing.” He could barely hide his excitement as a blushing Nora timidly nodded her head. If Danica hadn't been twitching over Jake's words, she would have given her WSO a knowing wink and nudge. 

Camellia turned to her husband in disbelief, “Does he do this often?”

Mickey shook his head, “This is new for all of us Cielo.” His words brought little comfort. 

Penny turned to Pete, lips drawn in a thin line as she contemplated filing a sexual harassment charge. If looks could kill, Jake would have died by Pete Mitchell if Danica hadn’t already killed him with her glare. 

“You….” Danica started, closing her eyes for a brief moment to prepare herself, “You’re honored to work with me?”

Jake smiled, showing off his bright veneers teeth, “Of course. How could I not be?” 

“Even though my achievement was just, in your words, pure luck?” 

The echo of his past words caused the smile to drop from Jake’s face, his brow knitting together in confusion, “I’m sorry darlin’, I don’t understand-”

“That’s what you’ve been telling everyone. That it was all pure luck, no skill,” her lips curled into a confident smirk, eyes narrowing as she continued to stare at Jake, “Word gets around Lieutenant Seresin, especially with a mouth as big as yours.”

With that, she simply turned around, ignoring the once cocky pilot who now had a gob-smacked look on his face. 

As well as a raging erection, but she didn’t need to know that. 

Jake couldn’t tell you what the rest of the briefing was about. What he did know was that Danica Seresin had a beautiful ring to it. 

---------------------------------------------------------------

@gretagerwigsmuse @blue-aconite @princessphilly @mxgyver @wildbornsiren @perfectprettypisces @percyjackson1d @cinderellasmissingshoes @imdreaminghere @idontcare-11 @rae-gar-targaryen @satans-firstborn @the-aspiring-fanfic-writer

[clonehub]

The Clones, Kamino, and Relationships

I've long speculated on what the clones' values would be as a people regarding every type of relationship they could possibly have with others around them -- antagonistic, romantic/sexual, professional, platonic, familial, etc.

Often times when making headcanons along these lines, people tend to project their own social upbringings onto the clones with or without realizing; they rely heavily on a reality that doesn't exist for the clones and then try to justify it with the same reality. Their analyses and theories and hcs end up flawed (and, for me, really annoying to read).

I'm sure you've all heard the fanon/headcanons that clones don't have the necessary and nebulously-defined "life experiences" that are required to mark them as adults. People think the clones lack a certain amount of knowledge about themselves and their bodies, and then others' bodies and how those work. They think the clones have no social awareness; I even saw someone say that clones wouldn't have had rivals, frenemies, or any negative interaction with other clones.

This long form and hopefully structured rant is going to lay out everything I think about how the clones were raised, why they're raised that way, and what that means when they interact with one another and with non clones.

Antagonistic Relationships

The clones argue. They fight. They disagree. We see this repeatedly in The Clone Wars and all throughout the Bad Batch. They disagree with superiors, both Jedi and non Jedi.

Disagreement within a group helps foster social bonds, can strengthen critical thinking/reasoning, and has a few other benefits I don't feel like listing out right now. Regardless, managing disagreements in a group requires conflict resolution skills.

The General Relationship Structure on Kamino

The clones must be taught to be loyal, to be amicable, and how to resolve conflicts within squads and bigger and bigger groupings of clones. The clones are going to war. They're trained soldiers. They have to be able to work on a team. Team work isn't just following orders and it isn't just being friends. That also means swallowing pride, setting aside ego, and even speaking up.

They can get jealous, they can be envious, they can have a whole host of complex feelings and emotions that they need to work through. The Drill sergeants would thus be instructed to be aware of and teach the clones who to work through this (whether they choose pats on the head or a fist is up to them).

I'm saying this to say that fandom often takes clones' "guns n battle" education a little (waaayy) too literally. They're not just given a gun at 2 and told to start firing. They need to be told that you can't turn that gun on your brother just because he said something annoying or you think he's dumb.

The Galaxy Outside Kamino

The clones learn about the galaxy outside Kamino. They get a heavily censored and propagandized history of the galaxy that plays up the Republic and absolutely villainizes anyone else, but they definitely do learn about the galaxy in general. They learn about other species, where those species are located, etc.

I say this to say that people like to act like the clones are so sheltered that they basically gawk at the mere existence of anyone who isn't a clone (so like....racist via ignorance?) which....I don't understand, really. The Kaminoans want to deliver a functioning and high quality product. They can't do that if they don't tell the clones that there's people out there that look different frmo you and speak a different language. A lot of clones are bound to interact with civilians; what sense is there in not prepping them for it?

These history lessons wouldn't even take too long to learn or anything like that. Some people like to headcanon that the clones' education schedule is so tight that they can't learn about "unnecessary" things (i.e. anything that isn't about guns n battle). But the clones are also fast learners. I think they can handle like two days of lessons about the galaxy's species.

Learning about the galaxy also requires --

Social Awareness

I've often seen headcanons that the clones, in one way or another, lack social awareness. "Non clones are basically an alien species! They're bound to ask loud, rude, ignorant, offensive questions! They're not shy, so they'd totally just strip in public if they need to!" (yes, I saw someone say this)

This comes from people infantilizing the clones and refusing to write or see them as the adults that they are. This is also severely shortsighted; again, being aware of the fact that the Kaminoans want a product that can do its job, who is helped by the clones blundering through greater society and destroying the genpop's trust in and comfort with them?

The clones get taught the basics of social politeness. They wouldn't manage the intricacies of cross-cultural interaction from two like high level senators, but that's not their job. They're polite, they're professional, they're aware of what is and isn't rude. They're self aware. They're adults.

Personal and Bodily Awareness

Sorry to the people who are weirdly misogynistic, but the clones also get comprehensive sex ed. It's inevitable that some clones are going to sleep with a non-clone. It's bound to happen! Rather than pretend it never does, the clones are told in detail about two things:

The human reproductive system.

Basic contraceptives and STI prevention.

part of maintaining the health and safety of any given population is making sure that they don't get sick. STIs are a way of getting sick. Part of maintaining the health and safety of a given population is managing unwanted or unexepcted pregnancies. Condoms prevent that. I think the medics have them and distribute them as-needed when they go on leave planetside.

So they get consent training (they'd have to, in order to learn how to interact with anyone ever in a normal and healthy way). The contours of consent would interact with their lifestyles in a contradictory way because they're also rather explicitly told they don't have the right to give/revoke consent over their own bodies, but they're at least told about other's bodies.

But here's the thing. The clones rarely. RARELY. Do end up having sex or a relationship because of two reasons:

They rarely interact with non-clones who are viable for sexual or romantic relationships (as in, most of the non-clones they're in contact with are COs and Jedi)

They themselves do not value sex and relationships to the extent that we do in our society.

for the first point: they're in battle a lot, and when they go on leave they face a society that does not like clones. There are anti-clone protests, 79s is one of the few bars that allows clones in, and when they're at battle they're notably not interacting with civilians for obvious reasons. The average jedi and non clone CO is not going to seek a sexual or romantic relationship with a clone.

This also presumes that clones don't sleep with other clones. I'm not giving ground on this. It's clear within canon that the clones view each other as true family. "Brothers" is not just "brother in arms", but quite literally a familial term for them. Fives' "same heart, same blood" speech in season 3 is evidence. Sister being called/naming herself Sister is another (her being transfem alone isn't enough; if they didn't view their familial relationships as fundamental to who they are, they would have given her a regular name, not Sister). They also refer to one another primarily as brothers, even when there's bad blood -- like Slick insisting that he did loves his brothers. Not comrades or friends or squad mates. Brothers. The entire 501st.

Frankly, the "they're bound to do it" view that many people seem to have is very bizarre to me. Who cares about proximity? What are their values as a people? What have they been taught? What do they believe? Why assume that any given clone would do that? Plenty of people spend a lifetime around their families without ever developing a desire to sleep with them. Who you grow up with can absolutely influence who you're attracted to, but not to this degree.

The assumption that clones MUST sleep with one another relies on a rather wide series of assumptions that just do the thing I complained about in the opener, which is rely on our own culture's values to write the clones. Which ties into point #2 up above:

The clones don't value sex or relationships as something they need to seek out. Yeah, they'd get horny. They're adults. It happens! Part of life. But what's socially considered an appropriate release of those feelings would be different from what we see in today's world. The drill sergeants wouldn't impress upon them the importance of having a partner, because how does that help them? How does it benefit the Republic, the civilians, the clones?

The clones are soldiers who were bred for war and are focused, first and foremost, on fighting and fulfilling their duty. Their most important social values are fighting, duty, and loyalty. Hierarchy, warfare, survival, etc. Can a clone seek out sex? Yeah! Is that even like, remotely common given the points I made above? No! Does the average clone chase civilians or even dream about relationships, sex, etc etc etc? Nope. They weren't taught to value it.

(This isn't to say that wanting these things makes a clone bad at their job, or that having sex means they're breaking a rule somewhere. They're not. it's just like how the majority of college students go for the most common majors because they're taught that those are valuable and desirable things to learn in school. You'll get one or two who have a concentration in something you've never heard of. They're not wrong for that, but they're definitely outliers)

So the average clone is a virgin that doesn't even think about it because it doesn't matter to them. They know about both male and female reproduction, and they know how to interact with civilians.

They're definitely sheltered. I highly doubt that any clone is given the skills necessary to manage like, romantic relationship problems, especially the really gritty ones. They're not told about their rights as beings, their ability to say no to most situations that involve a military CO. But they know about saying please and thank you, solving interpersonal conflicts, and about pads and tampons. They know about boundaries, appropriate behavior in public, and how to use a condom. They know about girlfriends and boyfriends and partners, they just don't generally care about them. They're rare -- not socially shunned, just rare. like the niche college concentrations.

A really good meta to read that I personally love is written by @canichangemyblogname and linked in his pinned. @saga-ordsmed also has a few interesting metas floating somewhere on her blog. theyre not about this topic in particular, but she's got interesting insights into the Republic.

I hope this was coherent enough. I wrote this mostly because I saw a contradictory post that pissed me off and I was yelling about it with friends in discord lol. Basically, the clones are adults, but don't presume that they have the same values that we do, or that the poeple in charge of their care and upbringing share our values either.

[ronance4everbrainrot]

Moooore incorrect quotes! Merlin Academy gang

(and ships)

*after the Squad's plan goes horribly wrong*

Morgie: Now it seems we're back at square one-- finding Hades.

Charming: For the record, I already found them.

Maleficent : And you let them get away before we could have a meaningful conversation.

Charming: They stabbed me!

Bridget, mumbling: I'm surprised they waited this long, Charming. We've all had the urge.

(Damn..not to be rude...I think only you have that urge Bridget....I understand tho...I guess)

---

Hades: Everyone synchronise your watches.

Charming: I don't know how to do that.

Maleficent : I don't wear a watch.

Bridget: Time is a construct.

(Fr fr. Time doesn't exist in Wonderland. It's just always "Now")

---

Hook: So, Maleficent and Hades.

Hook: According to this, you two are being accused of: Armed Robbery, Vandalism, Drug Abuse, Grand Theft Auto…

Maleficent : We had a bad day.

Hook: And… MURDER?!

Hades: It was a pretty bad day…

--

Hook: Your Honor, I hereby submit the following to the court:

Hook: Hades, Maleficent, what the actual FUCK?

(the power couple that's feared. Don't make them mad)

---

*Ella and Morgie are texting*

Ella: Who are you? Someone changed the names in my phone.

Morgie: What did they change my name to?

Ella: Chosen One.

Morgie: Don’t change it back.

Ella: BUT WHO ARE YOU?!?!

Morgie: I’m the chosen one.

(Yes.)

---

Morgie: Do you love Ella?

Bridget: Yeah, I do.

Morgie: Hook! I told you I knew it! You owe me 100 bucks!

Hook: We all love Ella. You should've asked if they were IN love with them.

Bridget: I thought that was implied.

Hook: ...

Morgie: ...

Bridget, looking straight at Hook: Congrats Morgie, you just won 100 bucks.

(That's canon. Sadly Ella doesn't feel the same. Luckily we got Red and Chloe out of it)

---

Bridget: I just want someone to take me out.

Ella: On a date?

Maleficent: With a sniper gun?

Uliana: Both if you're not a coward.

(The girls having a girls night)

---

Maleficent: Poison is a magic transmutation potion that turns people into corpses.

Fay: This knife is actually a magic wand.

Bridget: Meet me in the Denny’s parking lot for a wizard duel.

Uliana: *cocks gun* Magic missile.

Ella: What the fuck is wrong with you people.

(Ella regrets listening to Bridget and joining the Girls Night. Also F A Y. What the fuck.)

---

Morgie: You use emoji’s like a straight person.

Uliana: That’s literally the worst thing anyone has ever said about me.

(fr fr. You do tho gurl. Even if I actually don't understand what that would mean 🫠😗)

---

Maleficent: honk.

Hook: WHAT.

Maleficent: HONK.

Hook: WHAT DOES HONK MEAN THIS TIME YOU WHIMSICAL PIECE OF SHIT?????

(I can hear him say that last part. H O N K)

---

Maleficent: Hey, about that love letter you sent me-

Fay: *blushes* What are your thoughts?

Maleficent: The fourth sentence-

Fay: Yeah, that’s where I got really emotional and I-

Maleficent: It’s “you’re” not “your”.

(Gasp. Fay!? Gay!? MALEFICENT?!? ...ok)

---

Bridget: Hook, I have a great idea.

Hook: Let’s hear it.

Bridget: We trick Maleficent and Hades to go out on a date together.

Hook: YES!

Hook: And hey, if that doesn’t work out, you and me could go out, get some drinks—

Bridget, hitting them with a book: THIS IS NOT ABOUT YOU.

(If Hook were straight..wait... if Bridget were straight...if both were straight. But they aren't UwU)

---

Maleficent: Fay, you need to calm down.

Fay, slamming their fists on the table: BUT HOW CAN IT BE "BIRTHDAY CAKE" FLAVOR IF A BIRTHDAY CAKE CAN BE ANY FLAVOR?!

(Fay asking the most important question. Fr fr. HOW!?)

---

Bridget: What the fuck? People actually tell their crushes they like them??

Fay: What the hell do you do?

Bridget: I die? What kinda question...

(She do be not telling Ella, because she knows she doesn't feel the same)

---

Ella: Man, they look like a real handful. How do you deal with them?

Uliana, watching Maleficent screaming, Hades trying to set a sleeping Hook on fire, and Morgie choking on air: I don't know either.

(But she loves this mess group with her dark heart)

---

Uliana: Why would I flip my shit about that?

Hook: Because you flip your shit about everything.

Uliana: Well, will you look at this. Here is my shit, and yet it remains unflipped. Just sitting there on the skillet, getting burned on one side. It’s a miracle.

(That's canon)

---

Uliana: When do you usually go to sleep?

Hades: Whenever I collapse is entirely up to the gods.

(You are a god too? Am I wrong? 🤨 Confusion. So it's up to yourself? Feel that tho)

---

Now the gods have decided it's my time to sleep. 00:07 (12:07 am?)

Also no glassheart/CharmingHeart? G A S P

Next time Uwuwuwu.

Also had some "alone" time. Me and my sister are sharing a hotel room but we were both on the phone after a long day and I was doing the quotes so I posted this.

Hope you liked it!

Byeeeee

[beforeastorm]

We used to be a proper fandom (not really)

I'm not going to link or reference directly, because the claims have not been verified to any reasonable degree, but I have watched 911blr descend into... something... over the last couple of days because of a situation(s) involving truly horrendous fics, homicide-this-character accounts, and some pretty intense accusations about who (both specifically and as a group) is culpable for those behaviors. And I have some thoughts.

(Under the cut, because I ramble).

Desensitization and Escalation: The fics/account/posts/tweets didn't happen in a vacuum. They're, unfortunately, a natural evolution of what's been happening for months (before anyone ats me, on both/either side). It starts small: I hate so and so, I hate so and so's fans; so and so is the worst, so and so's fans are the worst. People become desensitized to it and then you're primed to escalate. THIS IS CLASSIC SOCIAL CONDITIONING. From I hate them, to someone should enact violence on them, to they deserve that violence, to I hope they die, to they have to die, etc.

I literally saw a tweet that stated something along the lines of "RT if you think we shouldn't consider (ship stans) humans". I'm sorry why are we questioning folk's humanity? About a television ship? The tweet did very well. Tons of likes and RTs. Anytime someone called them out for it, they were told to lighten up and learn how to take a joke. That it wasn't that serious. Well, here we are, a couple months later, and shit has gotten pretty serious now, eh?

And the longer in-groups permit this behavior, at any level, the more the cycle continues. And yes, it does need to be in-groups holding their own to account. And that's not always calling them out - especially if they're not in your circle. And not that you shouldn't call out behavior from the other side, but also - let's sweep our own kitchens before we call someone else's house a mess.

And, to be frank: both houses are messy so don't even.

And let me clarify by what I mean when I say holding people accountable. Because Tim Minear, to my knowledge, has not made any of us 9-1-1 fandom police, nor appointed a fandom inquisitorial squad. So you don't have to proverbially yell at someone to hold them accountable, though if you think they're open to a dialogue - then go for it. You can also choose not to engage/reblog/like/repost bad content; you can unfollow them, even if they make really cool art or write otherwise awesome fics or have really insightful takes 95% of the time. You can make a counterclaim or disavow a bad take; if it's someone in your circle by all means have a developmental conversation. The (ship) fandom would never! Yes they would. So would (other ship) fandom, and even (third ship) fandom and I've actually never met a toxic Bathena fan so go off kings (/gn) but there's probably one out there somewhere. Liking a ship isn't a vaccine to toxicity. Toxic, damaged people exist everywhere. They've existed since the dawn of time. I don't want to accuse anyone of being naive, but really? All this line of thinking does is create blind spots where we allow bad actors room and space to fester. We can, and should state that there's no space for this in the (ship) fandom, and anyone behaving in such a manner will face appropriate social sanctioning, up to and including ostracization. But to just flatly deny the possibility that someone on 'our side' might be bad is irresponsible.

The remedy is suffocation, not to ignore it: I get that you don't want to, to use fire metaphors because it's 9-1-1 after all, feed the flames by engaging with bad actors and giving them attention. Unfortunately, when you ignore a fire, it can spread unchecked.

Suffocate that motherfucker (metaphorically) and grab the burn kits. Starve them out. Unfollow, block - warn your friends - offer care to any affected. If it breaks ToS - report it. YOU SHOULD RESPOND, but you can choose to respond in ways that don't give bad actors the attention they may be craving.

This act was perpetuated by (ship) stans! I feel like I'm in an episode of Scooby Doo. It's not bad (ship) fans, it's (anti-that-ship) fans PRETENDING to be (ship) fans to make them look bad and sow chaos? RIP OFF THE MASK! Was it Agatha all along?

I do believe that happens. I also believe that not every single take that makes your preferred ship/fandom look bad is from a double agent. All pure, immediate, unequivocal denial and accusation does is provide cover and perpetuate the rot in that ship space. Before we immediately accuse the other side, we should show up with some goddamn receipts. (I have yet to see receipts).

And listen, people don't need to like each other, or even agree, BUT I WOULD LIKE TO BE ABLE TO OPEN AO3 WITHOUT WORRYING ABOUT STUMBLING ACROSS UNTAGGED CSA, ESPECIALLY FOR MY HOMIES WHO ARE SURVIVORS, BECAUSE SOME JABRONI WENT "SHIP WARS RAH RAH!" AND DECIDED THAT WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA.

At the end of the day - fandom should be joyful. If your entire experience has been reduced to bashing another ship, bashing characters, starting rumors about other fans, complaining about other fans/ships/characters, impersonating fans of ships you're against, or infiltrating 'enemy territory' like you're some kind of spy and not some overworked, underpaid 21st century serf trying to exist under the crushing, existential weight of our capitalist hellscape whose main form of escaping said hellscape is our weewoo show blorbos? Be so for real right now. It's giving Regina George. Why are you so obsessed with them? Choose to engage with joy (or alternatively, choose to engage in really sad fics if you need a good cry because that is fair and also valid).

Stormy out ✌️

[criminalamnesia]

Ezra, I just had a thought about your traitor series and I gotta let you know about it because if I don't, it's going to eat me alive. I know you're going to wrap it up in the near future and I want to say that from start to finish it's been a wonderfully written series. So far we're seeing how the false accusation the 141 levelled against the reader is affecting them, but I'm sure in the bigger scheme of things it's going to affect their standing in the eyes of other organizations and teams.

It comes to a head when the 141 has to work with another team for a larger scale operation, one with a lot of moving pieces and the need for all to handle things with a delicate touch. They're told right from the first second of meeting this team that they all know about the wake of Shepard's betrayal and how they subjected the 5th member of their team to things that would put most people into the ground far sooner than they had lasted.

They're told that beyond the objectives of their shared assignment, they shouldn't expect much in the way of pleasantries or niceties. They're told by the commander of this team that they are working with that the only reason they are collaborating with the 141 is because of their connection to Laswell. The change in how the 141 being received would be noticeable because this was a team they worked with amicably in the past.

Johnny's attempts at cracking jokes are met disinterested side glances. Kyle's attempts to be social are met with radio silence. John's attempts at giving orders during drills are ignored (the commander of the other squad gives the same orders to their team and they are followed).

Simon gets the worst of it.

He's met with various looks of pity at best and disgust at worst. If the 141 knew of his relationship with the reader, it's not that much of a stress that others would find out about it after the reader is discharged. To rub further salt into the wound, he'd find himself bested by the other team during sparring matches because they come at him with a single minded fury that's usually reserved for enemies.

They're told that beyond their advertised skills, they're being kept at arms length because if they're capable of turning on one of their own because of 'evidence' that although it was convincing at first glance, unravels at a second or third look, falls apart, who's to say that they won't turn on anyone else that's suspected of having ulterior motives.

It's here that the 141 realizes that although *they* emerged from this ordeal relatively unscathed, they've done just as much damage to their own reputations as they did they did to the reader physically, emotionally and mentally. They all realize that this won't be going any time soon.

your mind is so powerful!!! I actually love this. there would definitely be repercussions and I think that’s very realistic. people talk, after all. gossip is a form a currency many love to exchange.

[squoxle]

✏ TNAIT 002: No Money, No Problem l.at fanfic

✰ pairing: nerdy!bandboy!anton x cheerleader!fem!reader | ✰ wc: 2.5k | ✰ cw: profanity, sexual themes, lgbt comments | ✰ plot: you find the perfect guy to help you bring up your grades, but he's so shy you wonder if you'll make any progress. too bad you couldn't get his cute little friend instead... [Series Masterlist]

“Dude! What the hell was that?” Chanyoung spat.

“What? Oh you mean making your wet dreams come true? In that case, you’re welcome,” Dongmin chuckled.

“Wet dreams? You’re the one who fantasizes about screwing the whole cheer squad, not me.”

“Stop acting like such a prude. You know you want it too. I saw your little buddy standing up for attention.”

“It was cold as fuck out there.”

“Right…those thoughts were pretty hot though, huh?”

“Shut up…”

“Look you just better make sure you pull your dorky ass together and text that girl before tomorrow. Unless…you’re too chicken,” Dongmin said as he began clucking like a chicken.

“God, you’re such a fucking child,” Chanyoung rolled his eyes, pulling out his phone.

Dongmin looked over his shoulder to watch him text you. “Dear my beloved personified fantasy,” he began. “I’d love to meet you tomorrow at 12 o’clock sharp to help you raise your grades while you raise that skirt,” he chuckled.

“Seriously dude, back the fuck up. I can’t concentrate,” Chanyoung sighed.

hey i wanted to text u before it got too late

i'll be at the library around 8am tomorrow morning

Sent 9:43pm

Chanyoung carefully re-read the messages, double-checking for any missing details.

"Ponytail" Typing...

"Shit!" he spat.

"What? What happened? Did you accidentally send her that video of you whacking off?" Dongmin teased.

"No...she's typing."

"Already?"

it's fine

i'll be up by that time anyway

should i...bring anything?

Sent 9:45pm

"Fuck! What do I say?"

"Gimme," Dongmin grinned as he snatched the phone from Chanyoung's hand.

yeah that sounds great

and nah ur good

just make sure u bring ur laptop...and maybe a notebook

Sent 9:46pm

Read 9:46pm

"Ponytail" Typing...

kk

gnite <3

Sent 9:46

gn

"Ha!" Dongmin exclaimed before giving Chanyoung back his phone. "Too easy," he huffed. "Now, all you gotta do is shave your balls and get ready for tomorrow," he smiled, patting Chanyoung on the shoulder.

"Shave my what?!"

"Your nuts, bro. So you can get that brain while you use yours," he chuckled.

"You know if anyone else heard the way you talk to me they'd think you were gay."

"I'm just being real with you."

"Yeah...really gay."

"Whatever," Dongmin laughed as he wrapped an arm around Chanyoung's shoulder.

"You sure lucked up, huh?" Abigail chimed as you told her about your little rendevous with Chanyoung. "I've seen him before, but I always kinda thought he was...y'know," she paused to flick her wrist, a motion you very well knew the meaning of.

"No, no. At least, I don't think so. He's just kinda shy."

"Shy? Or more into guys," she chuckled.

"Hey, knock it off. You're the one who told me to get my own guy."

"Actually, you wanted that. If I recall it correctly you said it would be weird for us to use the same guy."

"Oh...right," you blew air into your cheeks as you thought back to that moment earlier.

"Well, just let me know how everything goes for you. And remember, there's a sweet little Aussie boy named Jake who'd be more than glad to help you out," she smiled. "But beware. He's a subby little switch," she chuckled. "Cute and sexy."

"Hopefully, everything goes well tomorrow and I won't need your puppy," you chuckled as Abigail pulled up to your house.

"Fingers crossed that even if he is gay, he's at least useful."

"He's not gay."

"You don't know that for sure," she tilted her head.

"Neither do you," you tilted your head, mocking her.

"Hmm, fair enough. But you owe me lunch if he is," she smiled as you unbuckled your seatbelt.

"You're really sure about this," you laughed.

"Uhh...duh."

"Okay well I gotta go inside now before my dad eats me alive," you said as you climbed out of the car.

"Good luck, girlie," she waved as you jogged to the front door, waving back at her.

The next morning, you stopped by the ATM to withdraw 50 bucks before meeting with Chanyoung. "This should be enough for today," you thought to yourself.

"Debit Declined, Transaction Failed," the automated voice chimed as you inserted your card. "What the hell?" you spat before attempting to insert your card again only to see the same message pop up 3 more times.

"Did dad freeze my debit card?" you asked as your mom answered the phone.

"Yes, he did it when you came home late last night."

"I literally just came home from a game."

"I know, but you know how he feels about that."

"Yeah...it's fine."

"What did you need the money for?"

"Nothing, I changed my mind," you lied.

"You sure, honey? I can send the money to you a different way. Just let me know how much you need."

"No, Mom. It's alright. Really. Thanks though."

"Okay, well let me know if you change your mind again."

"M'kay. I will."

"Bye," she said before hanging up.

You needed that money right now more than anything else. However, given the current circumstances, that wasn't an option.

"Hey," you waved shyly as you sat down at a table across from Chanyoung.

"Hey," he said, so softly that you almost didn't even hear him. "So, umm...what did you want to start working on first," he asked in that same sheepish tone.

"Umm, well maybe math. It's an introductory algebra course, but I'm kinda struggling to grasp it y'know."

"Can you show me what you've been working on?"

"Sure," you stood up to move your chair closer to him. "Sorry," you apologized as he jerked slightly. "Fuck, I hope I'm not being too aggressive," you thought to yourself.

"It-it's okay," he smiled softly before scrolling through your modules. "Dongmin and his stupid big mouth," Chanyoung thought to himself.

"So, what do you think we should do first?" you asked, breaking the silence.

"Umm...maybe we could look through one of the quizzes and review the content. It'll be the easiest way to learn."

As brilliant as that idea sounded, you didn't have the time to actually learn the material.

"I'm not trying to sound ungrateful or anything, but is there any way I can get you to do the majority of the work...I just don't really have time to learn this with cheer practice and everything," you cringed at your own words, realizing just how pathetic you sounded.

"Oh, uhh--"

"I'll pay you," you blurted just as you remembered that you couldn't exactly finance this little escapade. "Well...actually--"

"It's fine. You don't have to do anything unless you want to. Let's just look at this as a friendly favor," he shrugged as his lips formed into a shy smirk.

"Huh, really?"

"Yeah," he nodded, turning back to the laptop. "You can watch me work the problems out. Maybe it'll help you learn the material," he said as you leaned over, unconsciously bracing yourself on his thigh.

You listened as he explained the process of solving each equation and watched him scribble notes in your journal. For a moment, you got lost in his eyes. You watched them glaze across the screen through his glasses.

Maybe it was his shyness, or maybe it was something else, but your heart always fluttered when he came around. That was the real reason you stumbled on your words whenever you spoke to him.

It was something about the way he bit his bottom lip when he was focused that made you want to kiss him...

"Ugh!" he groaned as you lost your balance. Your hand fell right into his manhood and you could see it all over his face.

"Oh my god! I'm so sorry," you pleaded, grabbing onto his shoulder as he hunched over in pain.

"I-it's alright...I know you didn't do it on purpose," he said, grinding his teeth together.

"Umm, do you want me to get something?"

He exhaled deeply before replying, "No, I just have to wait it out."

"I'm really sorry," you apologized again as he continued to take deep breaths, squeezing his eyes shut. You reached over to close your laptop. "We can finish this later," you said as he seemed to calm down.

"You sure?"

"Yeah. You've already done more than I would've."

"So..tell me something about yourself. Since we're gonna be hanging out a lot more often, we might as well take the time to get to know each other," you said as the two of you sat outside together.

"There isn't really much to know," he shrugged.

"What about past relationships?" this question was triggered by a sense of curiosity and the fact that Abigail was so sure he was gay.

"Well, I've never really dated anyone before," he said, looking off.

"Anyone...well did you at least have a crush?"

"Hmm...there was this one girl I liked, but she only ever saw me as a friend."

"Have you always been into music?"

"Huh? How'd you know I was into music?"

"Shit," you swore to yourself. You didn't hear this from him..

"Oh, well umm I remember seeing you in the orchestra during the first week of school," you were able to save your ass this time, but you had to be more careful. You knew more than you were letting on.

"Oh yeah. Well, actually my parents encouraged me to start playing the cello, but I grew to like it on my own. Heh, I remember one time when I stayed up all night to learn this one piece. It was really important because that would be my first solo performance in high school," you watched as he smiled thinking back to that moment.

"Well I'm sure you did amazing," you smiled.

"Ehh...that would've been the expected outcome," he chuckled to himself. "But I thought it was a brilliant idea to be Romeo before my performance and ended up forgetting half of my solo. You can imagine how that went."

"Not really..."

"Well, it's like I said earlier. She saw me as a friend. So my head was all over the place after that. I should've just waited until after the show to tell her. I was gonna do it anyway."

"Hmm...maybe," you sighed, wondering if he still had feelings for her or had moved on by now.

"Alright, enough about me. It's my turn to ask you some questions."

"Okay, hit me," you laughed at his boldness.

"How many relationships have you been in?"

"Zero. Next question."

"Zero?! How?"

"My parents are pretty strict so I wasn't allowed to date. To them, my grades are the most important thing. But there was one guy I liked. He was a little older than me, but he hated the fact that we had to sneak around all the time," you sighed thinking back to the first real boyfriend you could've had.

"Oh, well I can understand that," he said looking over to you as if he was trying to read your body language, hoping it would expose another part of you.

"So what else did you want to ask me?"

"What made you come up to me? Aside from needing help."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I've come to every game and that was the first time we ever spoke to each other. I'm just wondering if there was something that stood out," his shaggy brown hair was perfectly draped across his face, slightly peeking over his round glasses.

"Uhh...well you were a familiar face. I figured you had to be a genius if you were in the orchestra. Y'know musically inclined people are said to be more intelligent," you smiled even though you knew very well that you chose him randomly and could barely remember him on your own.

"Heh, that's what my dad always tells me," he smiled with an expression so pure and sweet you could only sit there in silence.

You felt bad realizing that your only intention of talking to him in the first place was to use him to improve your grades. Plus this little heartfelt conversation started for two reasons--1) you had to buy time to come up with another form of payment and 2) you were not buying Abigail lunch.

If you didn't need him, you honestly wouldn't have looked twice in his direction. Yes, you found him attractive, but that was it. You didn't care about his interests...

"Spill the tea! Is he gay or not?" Abigail squealed as you met up with her in the campus cafe.

"Woah, what happened to 'hey, how did the studying go?'" you laughed.

"Tell me about that after this. I'm starving and I wanna know if I'm gonna be paying or not."

"Well he told me about a girl he liked back in highschool so I think that should answer your question."

"Dammit," she swore before reaching in her bag. " Text me what you want. I'm gonna go order out stuff and I'll be right back, 'kay?"

You nodded as she walked away. You watched her blonde ponytail sway with her movements as she went up to the register. You had completely forgotten about the whole frozen card thing, so you were even happier that she would be paying today.

"Alright, now tell me. Did you suck him off or what?"

"Ugh! No way. I was gonna pay him instead, but my dad froze my cards so I'm just pretending to be his friend so he can keep helping me," this was mostly true except for the fact that you were kinda falling for him.

"Well, you can either keep doing that or at least try to get some pleasure out of it. As cute as my little Jakey is, I just need him for my grades," she smiled, flipping her ponytail. "Do you really think I care about his nerdy life?"

"I know right," You laughed.

"You just need to give that boy your homework and walk away. He's not your study-buddy he's your dorky little fuck-toy and that's it. Don't let him bore you to death with his lame-ass life stories. That is not what you signed up for girl.”

“Honestly. After he fixes my grades I’ll probably never talk to him again.”

“Yeah, until next semester,” Abigail laughed. “I’m not trying to sound like the stereotypical blonde, but I’m too pretty to use my brain. Especially when I have a body like this,” she poked her tongue out as she playfully shook her tits.

“Oh my god! You can’t do that in public,” you hid your face behind your hand.

“Oh baby trust me, there’s a whole LOT you can do in public. It’s only illegal if you get caught,” she winked. “Thanks,” she smiled as the waiter came to the table with your food.

Abby wasn't entirely wrong. You could get away with a lot in public, but someone else is always present. Another witness. Another loose end. Or maybe...a ticking time bomb. Eager to get their way at the expense of your dirty little secret.

Living a double-life has its consequences.

You were so wrapped up in your conversation with Abigail you failed to notice Dongmin who was busy cleaning a table not too far from you. How were you supposed to know he worked here part-time? Like you said earlier, you hardly even knew of their existence before the other night.

Thanks for reading the second episode of my series. [Series Masterlist]

Click this link to go to my main masterlist and stay tuned for the next episodes.

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[furiousladyking]

It's a Date

It's a Date - Part One??

Jake Seresin x Reader

A/N: this is kind of a feeler to see if anyone is interested in yet another fic in this trope

Summary: Jake Seresin is feeling defeated. His youngest sister, Brooke is getting married in 3 weeks, and he has yet to find a date. While he loves his family, he can't say he enjoys getting those comments from his mother about when he is going to find a "nice girl" and settle down. In comes Y/N "Casper" L/N, a prime target to help get rid of the one on Jake's back.

Warnings: probably very incorrect military information - but hey we're trying our best, probably profanity

________________________________________

The Hard Deck was seemingly filled to the brim with aviators and civilians alike, something quite common for a Friday night in July. The crowd was loud, and there was an old rock song playing, however drowned out. The familiar clink of pool balls and thump of darts lulled incredibly tired individuals into a sense of calm.

In an entirely uncommon event, Hangman was... quiet. Too quiet if you ask any of his fellow aviators. Looks were passed, and whispers between Phoenix and Bob were somewhat hidden for thirty minutes.

"As much as we all appreciate a little bit of a break from hearing you go on about how great you are, you're kind of freaking me out," Phoenix tried as she walked up to the pool table. Coyote snickered beside her.

"Hmm?" Rooster quirked an eyebrow at the distracted man beside him. No come back? No stab at flirting? He took the pool cue and placed one end of the floor. He waited a moment. Despite the far away look in Jake's eye, he sunk the shot he had lined up. Rolling his eyes, Rooster decided to test the boundaries.

"Hey Hangman, did you hear that Cyclone let me know I was getting a promotion? Lieutenant Commander."

"Wow, that's cool," Hangman replied. He lined up his next shot. Those surrounding the pool table were a bit taken aback. Bringing his cue back, he stuttered on the follow through. "Wait, what?" The ball missed the pocket by about half a foot.

"There he is," Bob said from his seat, rolling his eyes.

"Lieutenant Commander? Rooster we both know you'd be the last-" Hangman began, hitting what the squad called his sassy stance. One hand on his hip, jutted out, the other holding his cue stick.

"Hey, no need to hurl insults, I was just seeing how out of it you were. Wasn't sure if we needed to send you to the infirmary. Your ego wasn't practically suffocating us" Rooster put his hands up in a mock-surrender.

Hangman placed his hand on his face, letting it slide down in hopes it wipe the worry away. He debated on brushing it off and telling them he was just picturing the best way to rub in his latest win during their dogfighting. The Dagger Squad had been stationed together in Miramar for a little over a year and no one was being reassigned anytime soon. Jake had been making a conscious effort to be more vulnerable with the squad, to let them in as his chosen family.

"My sister is getting married in 3 weeks."

The others were silent for a moment.

"Congratulations?" Phoenix offered. Hangman sighed and shook his head, mostly to himself.

"When they started planning the wedding six months ago I told my mom I had someone to bring with me," He started. Rooster cocked his head to the side. "She reminded me on a phone call about how excited she is to meet my girlfriend"

"Hangman has a girlfriend?" Fanboy pipped in, after hearing bits of the conversation.

"He doesn't," Rooster answered for him. "That's the problem."

"Hey, why don't you get someone to go with you and just act like you are dating?" Bob spoke from his spot on the chair. Suddenly feeling numerous eyes, he started to defend, "I've heard people do it a lot."

"I'm not bringing some hooker to meet my family," Hangman huffed, glaring in Bob's direction, then softening his gaze. "I'm just going to have to tell my mom that she and I broke up. Maybe she'll even pity me enough to not try and set me up with her friend's children." Jake leaned his pool stick up against the table and went to sit down next to Bob. He sipped his drink as he pondered how that would play out in reality.

"Get Casper to go with you." Hangman almost choked on his drink. He looked incredulously in Coyote's direction. "Think about it, she's the only one you know well enough to pretend you've been dating. Besides Phoenix, but we all know her acting skills wouldn't be good enough to go along with being your girlfriend for four days." Phoenix elbowed him in the rib. Coyote tries to stand tall, but still clutches his side in his hands.

As if on cue, he hears her voice. Still in her service khakis and hair in a bun, she carries her drink with her toward the group.

"Hey, what are we talking about?"

"I swear this type of shit only happens in movies."

_______________________________________________

Thank you for reading!

Anyway, let me know if this is something I should even consider continuing!

[sapphim]

Since everyone's been so nice about the other snippet I posted 👉👈 here are the good bits from sth else with the warden squad I wrote last year (since I might never get around to sprucing up the long and boring bits). Right after Lothering before anyone involved knows how to get along with each other so they're all kind of just standing around being assholes 🩷

—

"Not to catastrophize," Alistair says, to nobody in particular, "but when they find their way back and inform us with deep regret that they have no idea where we are or where we're going and we all die in the woods after wandering in circles for weeks, I'm going to say 'I told you so'."

"That's not going to happen."

Alistair twists around to gawk at Sten. The Qunari soldier has been standing at the outskirts of the group, stone-faced and completely unmoving—as far as Alistair can tell—since they paused their slow march through the woods.

"I think that's the first thing I've heard you say all day," he says incredulously. "Humor me. Why won't it?"

"Because in this scenario you've crafted in your mind, you'll be too dead to say 'I told you so'."

"They'll be my dying words," Alistair insists. "As I lay dying in the underbrush I'll croak, 'I told you this is exactly how it would happen, Sten,' and then I'll perish on the spot. See if I don't."

"I look forward to it," Sten says. "At least then you'll be quiet."

"It'll be a touching moment," Alistair says, settling back down into his seat at the base of a tree and staring up into the canopy, "and you'll miss me when I'm gone. You'll see."

"If it will make you feel any better," Zevran pipes up from his seat on low branch a short distance away, "if the end does come—which I very much doubt, mind, given what a capable group you have assembled here—I can swear that I will ensure you a swift and dignified death."

"Absolutely not," Alistair growls.

"My apologies," Zevran says mildly, as he has found himself doing not infrequently over the last few days since his initial ill-fated encounter with the wardens. "The offer was meant with no ill intent."

"Do not stab me."

—

"What's that?" Micah asks, pointing upward. Alistair and Rafael crane their heads to look at the rustling tree branch she's indicated.

"That, my dear, is another squirrel," Zevran says.

"Squirrel," she repeats under her breath.

"Don't have squirrels in Orzammar?" Alistair says, conversationally.

"We've got nugs," Micah says. "And moles. Mice. Deepstalkers. No squirrels."

"I guess everywhere has mice," Rafael muses.

"The one thing that unites us despite all our differences," Alistair agrees. "Mice in the larder. Hey, Sten, do Qunari have–"

"They're returning," Sten interrupts, nodding curtly in the direction of more rustling brush, where glimpses of Leliana's pale skin and vivid red hair can be caught through the trees.

The mabari crashes out of the underbrush first, panting and wiggling with an excess of excitement. A few moments later, the rest of the wayward scouts rejoin the waiting party.

"We have determined the proper course to reach our destination, and located a camp site for the night," Morrigan announces. "No need to thank us."

"And we saw the fattest squirrel I've ever seen in my life," Leliana adds cheerfully. The dog barks in agreement.

Morrigan sighs. "Yes. And—more importantly—a sight which has never before been witnessed by man nor beast. A fat squirrel. Again, no need to–"

—

"Could you tell if something is possessed by a spirit?" she asks.

The young mage twists the cuffs of his sleeves between his fingers, chewing on his lip. "I– I should be able to," he says. "Yes. I– Yes, I can do that."

"Spoken with remarkable confidence," Morrigan says dryly, earning her a reproachful glare from Alistair.

"Not all that many haunted trees in the middle of the lake, I'd think," he says.

"There was a cat, once," Rafael says, "that got possessed by a demon and went on a rampage through the tower. It killed three templars before they brought it down."

"Ah, 'tis a heartwarming tale that would bring a smile to anyone's face, would it not?"

The mabari huffs and snorts in response.

"Aw, I bet a nasty demon cat would be no match for you," Alistair says, crouching to scratch the pleased mabari vigorously behind the ears. "Isn't that right, Barkspawn? Because you're a good boy! Yes you are!"

"We weren't allowed to have cats in the tower after that," Rafael mutters in conclusion.

"Not allowed," Morrigan repeats derisively. "'Tis a wonder that anything would be allowed to begin with."

"For the mice," Rafael says glumly.

Alistair extricates himself with some effort from the wet, sloppy kisses the mabari is determined to plant all over his face. "Did you get demon mice after that?" he asks, with the gleeful tone of someone who has only just considered the possibility of demon mice and finds it funnier than they probably should.

—

As they fall into line behind the Dalish elf, Micah muses aloud to no one in particular, "So, I'm not entirely sure what a cat is."

Eydis snorts derisively. "It's a surface animal with four legs and a tail. I've been here as long as you have. How do you not know that?"

"Excuse me?" Micah snaps. "You just described every surface animal. They all have four legs and a tail. Or they're birds."

"It's got fur."

"They've all got fur. You're just describing the dog."

The dog in question barks.

"Smaller than the dog. And with a fluffy tail."

"That's squirrels."

"Bigger than squirrels," Eydis huffs. "They were all over the human settlements. Pay more attention next time, brand."

"Watch it, salroka," Micah growls.

"Perhaps I could draw some pictures tonight," Leliana says appeasingly.

"Perhaps you should write a song in memory of the princess, in case I finally kill her tonight."

"Don't be so sensitive," Eydis chastises.

"I've been lead to understand that we are all strictly forbidden from killing each other here," Zevran interrupts cheerfully, "or is that just me?"

"Do not stab me," Alistair repeats.

"I swear on my life," Zevran says, "I will make no attempt to harm you unless I am paid a great deal more coin and I have reason to understand that forsaking your company would be to my overall benefit. Neither of which I forsee happening in the middle of a haunted forest. Perhaps that may set your mind at ease?"

"That doesn't set my mind at ease! Why would that make me feel better?"

"Because I am being extremely honest right now," Zevran says. "Unless you would prefer I lie?"

"I would not."

"Nobody is killing anybody," Leliana says.

"Only a fool would do the work of his enemy for him," Sten says.

"Oh! That's very wise, Sten."

"It is not. It's common sense."

[bowandcurtsey]

Hello, I saw your requests were open

If you don't mind id like to request headcanons of nozel falling for a commoner squadmate s/o? She's very sweet, kind and lovely and has healing magic and she always takes care of him when he's overworking himself or heals him after a tough mission and he was suspicious of her at first but then he understood that her kindness was genuine and he fell in love?

You guys are really quick to make requests, haha! I love it, thank you for making me feel that I'm still relevant. (≧◡≦) I was afraid that I would be forgotten since I'm not as active in writing.

Also, I'm kinda high from alcohol so bear with me if there's a lot of errors.

I miss this grumpy royal so much

Characters: Nozel Silva x f! reader tw: unchecked works , soft and fluffy uwu

Nozel silva has a gigantic wall up around his heart. So he really doesn't trust anyone easily.

He doesn't despise commoners, it's just that he feels that commoners can't really get what it's like to be a royal. Not in a bad way, but like a lot of commoners think that royals have it easy and they have it tough.

Which is not true. Royals have certain stress to go through and certain things to uphold.

So when he met you, he had his guard high up in the skies. He doesn't like opening up because he felt vulnerable and he doesn't really like feeling weak.

At the start, you were just a healer to him. Like any other healers, just doing your job of healing people. He doesn't look down on you, in fact, he's appreciative and grateful for people like you.

He thought that you were just another commoner that wouldn't understand the difficulties of being a captain and a royal.

Until you told him "thank you for you hard work".

He was puzzled honestly, since you were the one doing him a favour by healing him.

But you said that your job was easy, and he had it tough, having to fight on the front lines so that commoners like you could be safe.

He had a good impression on you.

And then the next time, he met you on a battle field. You and your team were there as an emergency rescue mission because the fight was too chaotic and there were too many injured.

You healed him and you were really upset and worried for him. You cared for him and even went the extra mile, bringing him something to drink and some essence to drink.

You told him to "come home safe" and that you'll be waiting for him.

Nobody has done that before; telling him that they'll be waiting for him.

He was a little suspicious, wondering if you were trying to hit on him because he was a royal and a captain. But when he saw that this was how you treated everyone, he felt remorseful for thinking that way.

Compared to you, he was a sinner.

Slowly, he found himself wanting to be around you more. He looked for you all the time to heal himself.

He loved it when you fussed and worried for him.

And what made him realise he was in love was when he felt jealous when you cared for someone else. You fussed about Fuegoleon's injury, saying how it must have hurt and that he needed to be more careful.

It was then that he realised he wanted you to himself. It was a strange feeling for him, being so concerned about someone else that wasn't his family or squad.

It took him some time to accept his feelings and taking the first step to court you. He didn't know how actually, he was worried about what you might like or dislike, or if you might feel that he was too overwhelming.

This royal had tons of insecurity about himself.

He found himself wanting to talk to you and pour out his worries and anxiety.

But you always cared for him and gave him a sense of security. You told him not to overwork himself and to take good care of himself more.

Which not many have done so; people always wanted more and more out of him and they always expected perfection from him.

But with you, he felt at ease, and he felt like he could relax and throw all his worries out the window.

He knew that he couldn't see his future without you in it anymore.

He finally asked you out on a date and nothing in the world has ever felt so right for him. It was the best night of his life and he was the happiest he had been in awhile.

"do I have the honour of asking you to be mine?" he asked you on your third date. He wanted to ask you since the second date but he chickened out.

Of course you liked him too. You felt that everyone only saw the cold and ruthless side of Nozel, but you saw more than that; you saw that this royal was soft and kind inside and that he needed someone to love him and care for him and you had this strong urge to be his everything.

You saw how hardworking he was and how he always put the country and others before himself and it made you want to give him your all and be the one to protect him instead.

From then on, you never looked back. You wanted to give your all to take care of him and make him feel happy.

And he let you into his heart, baring his true self to you. And when Nozel Silva loves, he loves whole heartedly and made sure he would give everything in his power to make you the happiest lady on earth.

[maximoffcarter]

Ice Queen 2.0.

Pairings: Casey Novak x Alex Cabot

Summary: Alexandra Cabot is known as the Ice Queen, and after a while, she learned to embrace it. Casey Novak, was known for her tough attitude and showed no fear. What happened when the squad gets on Novak's nerves?

A/n: I bring you another Calex one shot🫡This was requested by @saurgaeee so this is specially dedicated for them hehe. Yes, in my mind, this is set between S11 and S13 and Elliot is still there, Amanda and Amaro had joined, and that's that haha. I hope you guys enjoy this aaand if you have any more requests, please don't hesitate on sending an ask or message. I'm a nice person, I promise haha you don't have to be shy or afraid to talk to me. Enjoy and leave your comments, reblogs, hearts, whatever you'd like, will be very much appreciated🫶🏻

*not my gif*

Alexandra Cabot was known for being ‘The Ice Queen’, she couldn’t deny that for a while it annoyed to even hear that nickname, but after a while, she learn to grow into it because she figured out that people feared her, which made her powerful in some way, knowing people wouldn’t want to mess with her. She knew how to get what she wanted, and if she didn’t, she would go out of her way to do so. In court, she wasn’t playing, she was also not doing it to be in the headline of the newspaper, she wanted justice and if she had to be The Ice Queen to get it, then bring it on. Everyone already knew that if they got under her skin, they were done for sure, the whole squad had seen it, hell, the whole precinct had seen it. Casey had seen it. Of course it hadn’t been against her, never her. She was probably the only person that had been safe from the Ice Queen, even when she did something that could upset Alex, she could never stay upset, she was her girlfriend, she was her weakness, and people knew this, but even trying to have Casey there to protect themselves, it never worked. And honestly? Casey enjoyed it, she just laughed and was the person to say, I told you so.

And here they were once again. Another case that had been handed to Alex and once again, they were trying to have Alex as their servant, getting them warrants for everything when they didn’t even have any proof nor reason to get them. They felt entitled to demand Alex to get them, knowing perfectly that Petrovsky would never actually agree, and she’d get scolded again, and if that’s what they expected her to go through? They were completely in the wrong, and she was done listening to them yelling around, specially Elliot that always thought that because his gut told him so, things had to go his way.

“I will not tell you again. Do you want the warrant? Then find me something that actually works, find me evidence, a witness, anything that is not your stupid gut. If you think Petrovsky is going to give me the warrant just because your goddamn gut told you so, then you talk to her yourself. And let me tell you…if I get scolded for it, it’ll be ten times worst for you.” Alex grabbed her briefcase and looked at Elliot again. “Until you get me something good, don’t even think about calling me or making me waste my time again.”

Alex walked out of the room without looking at anyone else anymore, the whole room had gone quiet and there was no one who could say or stop her. She had said what she had said, and that was the end of it. They all looked at each other, almost speechless for what had just happened. It was even funny how they were so surprised knowing this was definitely not the first time that Alex had gone off on them like this, and certainly it wouldn’t be the last either. Casey just stood there staring at them, not a surprise in her face as she looked at everyone. Elliot then stared at her for a moment, his eyebrows raised as if questioning if she could do something. Almost begging her for anything.

Casey chuckled. “What? You really think I can convince her? After that? You’re out of your mind.” She grabbed her briefcase and shrugged. “You know she’s right. Petrovsky has her eyes on us as it is. Another stunt like this, and both of us will be sleeping in a cell.” She walked to the door and then looked back at Elliot. “Don’t test her, Stabler. You already know the Ice Queen.” She grinned before she left the office.

Casey had stopped to buy lunch for both of them, knowing that after that scene, Alex had completely forgotten that they were going to go for lunch after visiting the precinct. She went to her office to drop off her briefcase and coat and then headed to Alex’s office, who was at her desk reading through the files. Casey closed the door behind her and smiled once Alex looked up at her, an annoyed look on her face. Casey raised the bag of food in her hands and walked to the small table beside Alex’s desk, putting the bag on the table.

“That was quiet a scene.” Casey chuckled softly as she looked at Alex.

“I’m pretty sure the gray hairs I have are not because of my age but because of them.” Alex sighed as she dropped her pen and stood up, walking to Casey. “You know, the other day, Elliot asked me how it was possible that you dealt with me at home.” She grinned.

Casey shook her head. “Did he really say that?”

Alex shrugged. “I know he didn’t mean it. It was the heat of the moment.” She smiled as she looked at Casey, her hand going to Casey’s cheek and stroking it softly. “How do you deal with the Ice Queen back home, Ms. Novak?”

Casey chuckled softly as she placed her hands on Alex’s waist and pulled her close to her body. “I simply start the teasing and she’s over it in an instant.” She smirked.

Alex raised her brows playfully. “Sounds like a good way to get her out of her trance.” She giggled as she kissed Casey’s lips.

Casey smiled against her lips and raised her brow. “See? She’s now gone.” She pecked her lips. “So now, sit down and eat. I’ll help you out a bit before I have to go to my arraignment.”

“You’re an angel.” Alex smiled and sat down, opening the bag to get their food.

********************

After the stunt that Elliot had put, he had come to an agreement with Alex once they found more evidence that Alex took to get the warrants they needed, which also helped her at the end to win the case. It was comical to see how after the case was over, either they won or lost, they completely forgot about the arguments or fights they had, sometimes it was taken personally, but they knew that after the stress and pressure, they could all say things they didn’t mean. And so, they all moved on. This is why they all got along so well, and they were a good team, they understood each other, and they’d always have each other’s back no matter what.

A few days after, they got another case, and this one was handed over to Casey, Alex had joked with them that if they didn’t want to get scolded again, maybe they should hand it to Casey, who seemed to deal with them better than Alex ever did. Yes, Casey got frustrated, she got into arguments with them, she had a tough attitude and always put everyone in their places, but they had not actually seen Casey going off like Alex had done so many times -that’s why the nickname-. As they went over the case, Casey already knew this would be a tough one; a group of teenage boys who raped three students plus the sister of a little girl, and two of those girls…were dead. Of course, the three teenagers had money, which made the case even harder because of missing evidence, missing witnesses, and a ton of bullshit from the attorneys. Casey had been in this situation before, and she didn’t want to make the same mistake again, she didn’t want to put the only victims and witnesses she had in the Grand Jury. She couldn’t risk it, she couldn’t possibly go through that ordeal again of convincing them to testify before the Grand Jury and then having them put in danger because they were brave enough to speak. She had gone over it with the whole squad, making it very clear that she’d only be presenting the statements and that was it, so they had to find more evidence to convict the three teenagers. But there was always the DA’s office that screwed up their plan and Casey always had to listen, more so after her suspension, she was afraid it would happen again.

Casey walked into her office and threw her briefcase to the floor, slamming the door closed and going to the very end of her office. Not only was the DA on her neck, but also Olivia and Amanda were eating her alive when she told them that the girls would testify, and she was still waiting on Elliot and Amaro to find out. Did they really think that it was in her hands? She wasn’t her own boss, she didn’t run the DA’s office. She had to go by the book, so they didn’t have her neck again, she was not about to lose her license. She really didn’t want to do this, she was willing to do everything in her power to not put those girls in that position, but now, she was in a position that if she didn’t do as she was told, they’d either pass the case to someone else, or she’d be punished. She groaned loudly as she slammed her hands on the table, and just in that moment, Alex walked into her office and closed the door behind her. She had gotten a call from Olivia, and she should go check on Casey, and here she was; her girlfriend leaning over the table without saying a word, but she could see her body was trembling.

“Case?”

“Not right now, Alex.”

Alex sighed softly as she looked at Casey again. “What happened?”

“Fucking Cutter happened.” Casey snapped as she breathed heavily, walking to the window, and looking out.

“Casey, the squad will make sure they are safe. Those bastards have hidden every possible evidence that can help you.”

“I know but…this is my case. He doesn’t believe that I have a case without the girls. I can actually do this.” Casey looked at Alex.

Alex walked to her and kissed the side of her head softly. “I know. We all know this. Cutter is just being an ass.” She whispered softly as she put a strand of hair behind her ear, kissing the side of her head again. “I know my girlfriend.” She grinned.

Casey smiled softly as she nodded. “Only you do.” She chuckled.

Before Alex could say anything else, Casey’s phone went off, making her sigh heavily and went to get her phone, picking up her briefcase and putting it on her desk. Alex walked to her and leaned over the desk, looking up at her girlfriend as she answered the call. She took her time to study her face for a moment, noticing that she had never seen Casey looking this upset, let alone trembling because she was upset, but she knew this case was important for her and she regretted a bit that she had denied to have this case because then, Casey wouldn’t be in this position. Just as she thought that Casey had calmed down, she could see that her cheeks gone red and before she knew it, Casey hung up the phone, grabbed her briefcase and out the door she was. Alex furrowed her brows for a moment but followed her rapidly. Something was definitely about to go down.

Normally, Alex wouldn’t be surprised on how fast Casey walked, after all, she played softball, but she was surprised right at this moment as she followed because she could barely get on her pace, and Casey was definitely in a trance because she didn’t hear Alex calling her name. She couldn’t even figure out what was going on before they were in front of the whole squad, Olivia turned to look at both women and she could already tell that they had done something and that was the reason Casey literally flew here. Alex just stood behind Casey, not sure what to do, but slightly jumped as Casey slammed her briefcase in one of their desks, staring at everyone.

“What the hell were you thinking?”

Amanda turned to look at her and sighed softly. “We didn’t have another choice, Novak.”

“You didn’t have-“ Casey scoffed. “You should’ve called me. That was your other choice. You. Call. Me. You do know this will be mentioned in court, right? The defense will argue that you showed up without reason, threatened them and Petrovsky is gonna come for my head when she finds out what you all did.” She shook her head. “I’ll be the one in trouble, not you. And honestly? It’s all of your heads they should be after. This case can go to the trash for your stunt.”

“Call you?” Amaro furrowed his brows. “You wanted us to call you so you can tell us that you can’t get a warrant because we have nothing? Oh, no, we’ve heard that before. You think we’re not doing anything here, but we are.” He stood up from his chair and walked to Casey. “You are the one who is listening to whatever the DA’s office tells you and you don’t change a damn thing.”

Casey stared at him as if she could throw daggers with her eyes. “What is that supposed to mean?”

“We know the girls are going to testify.” Olivia simply said as she looked at Casey.

“You cannot put those girls in the stand, Casey.” Amanda shook her head. “We know the power they have, they could be in danger.”

“Don’t you think I know that?” Casey looked at her with a defying stare.

“It’s your case. It’s your choice. You’re the one putting them there! You said we had time to get evidence.” Amaro shrugged. “We’ll say that he attacked us, so we defended ourselves.”

“And you think they’re gonna buy that? You went to their house and beat up not only the father, but one of the boys. They’ll find out and then, they’re coming for our jobs. I am not risking that. I am not gonna risk my job.”

“Oh so, that’s what this is about. You care more about your job than the girls.”

“Drop it, Amaro.” Elliot said as he looked at him.

“No. She cares more about losing her job than putting the girls in danger. Rollins said it. They have money, they have power. Tomorrow the girls testify, and the next day, they’re dead somewhere in the city.”

“I do not want to put them there! Don’t you get it?! I talked to Cutter, I told him I can build a case and he said no. I cannot go above my boss.”

“You did it once! Do it again! It’s like you’re giving them the free pass to get these girls killed!”

“I don’t see you bringing me any evidence.” Casey snapped. “You stand here, ready to yell at me for something I do not have control over. You don’t want me putting them in there? Then get me fucking evidence. I cannot do your goddamn job, I have enough with mine already.” Her voice had changed, this was not Casey, this was ADA Novak. “And no. It is not my choice. I am not my own boss, if I was, trust me, I’d have your ass right now for being here and not looking for evidence. Don’t you think that I know what could happen if they testify? I fucking know, and you know that I know!”

“Do you, though?” Amaro snapped.

Casey was about to walk to him before Elliot stopped her, putting his hands on her shoulders. “Don’t pretend like I’m some cold hearted bitch who doesn’t give a shit about those girls! If I could, I wouldn’t be doing this, but I have no other choice. I want those assholes behind bars as much as you want!” Casey groaned as she looked at Elliot, pushing him so he could let go of her. She then looked back at Amaro. “I remind you we are in this together, I’m not on their side. So, if you want me to avoid this, get me some fucking evidence and don’t come for me again thinking you’re entitled to yell at me for something I don’t have control over. Go do your goddamn job instead of telling me how to do mine!”

Both Alex and Elliot stared at each other for a moment, not sure what had just happened. Amaro finally was left speechless and only nodded and walking away followed by Amanda, Fin, and Munch. The whole time that Casey had been yelling speaking, Alex had stared at the redhead with her mouth almost wide open and completely frozen as she listened. Casey was yelling at Amaro but for a moment she thought Casey was yelling at her. She knew the level of anger that Casey could get into, she had seen her in court many times, she had seen her angry, but she had never seen her lash out like this. She didn’t even know if she was scared, surprised, or even aroused by this. When Elliot stared at her, the only thing she could do was shrug, she then returned her stare at Casey who was shaking at this point, and Alex knew it was nothing but anger radiating through her body.

“Casey?” Elliot asked softly, looking between Olivia and Alex. “Are you okay?”

Casey looked at Elliot with furrowed brows. “Don’t you dare treat me like I’m fucking insane. I meant what I said.”

Elliot nodded. “I know.”

Casey slammed her hands on the desk and groaned. “Does he really think I’m that cold hearted? I know I’m not the ray of sunshine that they want me to be, but why does he think that I don’t care? I fucking care.”

Alex didn’t know what to do, she could see that Casey was still in a trance and it seemed like talking to Elliot was not working at all. Alex took a deep breath as she placed her hands on Casey’s shoulders and turned her so she could face Alex. “Casey. I need you to take a deep breath.”

Casey finally looked at Alex. “What?”

“I need you to calm down, baby. Can you take a deep breath?” Alex placed a hand on Casey’s chest feeling her heart beating fast.

“I don’t need to calm down. You heard what he said to me, and I-“

“My love…” Alex grabbed Casey’s hand and placed it on her chest so she could feel Alex’s heartbeat. “I need you to breath. Your heartbeat keeps racing. Can you do that for me?” Casey nodded as she took a deep breath. “Just like that. That’s it. Take another.” Alex took a deep breath along Casey, her eyes staring into green ones as they breathed out. “One more time, baby.” They took a deep breath and then breathed out together. “Do you need to take another?”

Casey shook her head. “No.” She looked down at her hands and furrowed her brows. “Why do you have my hand on your boobs?”

Alex chuckled. “My chest, actually. But close.” She smiled. She let go of her hand and placed both on Casey’s cheeks. “I lost you there for a second, you were in a trance.”

Casey sighed, letting her hand fall to Alex’s waist. “Amaro pissed me off.”

“He did.” Alex chuckled. “I think we’re gonna send the poor guy to therapy if he has both of us going off on him.”

Casey laughed with Alex, sighing softly. “I’m sorry. I…I guess I’m too stressed.”

“Just a bit.” Elliot grinned.

Casey looked back at Elliot and sighed again. “If you didn’t stop me, I think I would’ve slapped him or punch his in the face.”

Elliot nodded as he chuckled. “Yeah, I could tell. I preferred to stop you before you gave him a purple eye.” He rubbed her back and offered a smile. “Get out of here. We got this, okay? We know you’re doing the best you can.”

Olivia offered a smile as she nodded. “Amaro had no right to say those things to you. We know why you’re doing what you’re doing. And trust me, Casey, if there is no other option, we will definitely keep an eye on the girls until this is all over.”

Casey nodded softly. “Thanks guys.”

Elliot smiled. “We got your back.” He looked at Alex and nodded, walking away with Olivia.

Alex smiled softly as Casey returned her eyes to Alex. “I’ve never seen you like that before. Are you gonna turn into Ice Queen 2?”

“I’m probably heading there.” Casey grinned.

Alex smiled. “Then we’ll both be Ice Queens.” She giggled as she pulled Casey for a kiss. “Are you feeling better?”

Casey nodded. “I think so. I do need a break.”

“What do you say we go out for lunch? If they have something important, I’m sure they’ll call you.”

Casey nodded again and smiled. “I’d like that.”

Alex pecked her lips and then smirked. “Maybe if we have time, we can have some dessert. Just to relax a bit more.”

“Oh?” Casey raised her brow as she grinned. “Could we have dessert first?”

Alex chuckled. “I need you to have energy, so let’s go now so we have some time.” She winked at her as she grabbed her hand.

Maybe Casey and Alex weren’t that different after all, and Alex would definitely not admit that she got all hot watching Casey going off like that, cause she knew the teasing would never end.

[maretinelli]

GREAT FRIEND OF YOURS

Jake Peralta X fem!reader

Summary: Jake and y/n have been friends for as long as they can remember, but as the years go by their feelings begin to turn romantic.

Words: 3.4K+

Warnings: I don't remember exactly, so, mentions of the past, friends to lovers, Jake and S/n being romantically silly.

Author: First of all, English is not my first language, I apologize for any mistakes that may be in the story. And second, I want a JAKE FOR MYSELF NOW!!

Y/s: Surname

MASTERLIST

Jake Peralta and Y/n Y/s. Best friends since childhood, they entered the police academy together, got their first job together and of course, they entered 99 together.

If this wasn't a love story told from motherhood, I wouldn't know how to describe what it was.

They were always great friends, but as their journey progressed, they both fell in love with each other. But obviously, neither of them knew that the other was in love.

But it was so clear, it was written in the stars every night.

99 couldn't stand seeing the stolen glances, the flirtations they didn't notice, the shameless kindness and affection.

•••••••••••••••••••

Jake had arrived before Y/n at the police station. Which was strange, because when they didn't come together, Peralta would arrive late.

"Good morning guys!" Jake walks in smiling and everyone looks at him.

Amy looks at her watch and then at Jake.

"Did you look at your watch today?"

"Of course, why?"

"You're 10 minutes early. You're always late. What's wrong?" Rosa asks.

"Wait a minute guys," Amy says, looking straight at the detective who was standing with his bag over his shoulder. "GUYS, JAKE GAVE HIS HAIR GEL!!" She screams, making the entire squad look at Jake.

Jake grimaces.

"Shut up. I didn't put anything in my hair, as usual." He huffs and Charles steps closer to him.

"Seriously!!"

"Yeah, I passed. But be quiet."

"Who did you pass it on to? To your beloved Y/n Y/s?!"

Jake quickly turns to his best friend and checks the room to see if anyone had heard that.

"Sorry." Boyle makes a zipper sign across his mouth and smiles without showing his teeth.

With that, Sergeant Jefford ends up arriving at the police station and calling the 99 squad for a small morning meeting.

Jake enters the room last and tells us who was there.

"...6...7...8!! Someone's missing" He puts his hands on his hips.

"Did you tell me, sweetie?" Gina asks, looking at her phone.

"Of course!"

"He forgot his beloved." Rosa says, putting her feet on the table.

"Aaaah true" The squad responds in chorus and Peralta rolls his eyes.

"Damn, I forgot to tell you about Y/n. By the way, does anyone know where she is?" Jake asks worriedly, we put our hands on our hips again.

"You tell me. You guys always arrive together. I think there's a bit of a fuss and a roll the night before you come here," Gina says and everyone smiles.

"That's right, Gina." Diaz high-fives Gina and the squad waits for Jake's response.

"You guys are so funny. You should work in the circus," he says seriously. "And no, I don't know where she is either. The last time I talked to her was last night."

"Grate and roll..."

"Gina, shut up" Peralta points at her and she smiles raising her hands up.

With that said, a hurried Y/n enters the room. With two bags hanging on her shoulder, hair with curled ends, makeup and a beautiful pair of Louboutin heels on her feet.

"Sorry guys for being late. I know I'm not like that, I'm really sorry." She walks in quickly and sits next to Jake.

"Wow!!! What's that in y/s?" Rosa whistles playfully and the squad joins in.

"What's up, friend. Where are you going like that?"

"Jake's drooling!" Boyle says, pretending his hand is full of something.

Everyone looks at Jake, including Y/n.

"Hi honey. It's so quiet there." Y/n jokes, pushing him with her shoulder.

"Ah...I...hi sweetie" Jake ends up stuttering, but in the end he lets out that mischievous smile.

Y/n opens a huge smile as she looks at Peralta.

"Are you guys going to just stand there and make out, or can we start the meeting?" Sergeant asks.

Jake grimaces and Y/n smiles, raising her hands up in surrender.

"Sorry, Sergeant. Peralta is a very handsome guy to look at." She flirts.

"Name of your sex tape!!" Everyone screams and she rolls her eyes holding back a laugh.

"Good morning, squad. Today I'm going to give you a quick summary of what you'll be doing today. Boyle will be in charge of the paperwork for case 23, Santiago and Diaz will go on a mission after the criminal Bryan. Scully and Hitchcock will stay in the file room and finally, Peralta and y/s will stay together to solve case 8-24Ws." Sergeant says.

"Look there, honey. Together again!" Jake exclaims, squeezing Y/n's cheeks.

"Aawww Jakee!!

"NAME OF YOUR SEX TAPE" The squad yells again.

"Ok guys. Dismissed" Sergeant says, making the detectives stand up.

"I have to stop messing around with these sex tape names." Y/n says as she stands up and grabs her bags.

Peralta stands up and takes the bags from y/n's hand, so he can take them to the table for her.

"I think so too. But it's really cool to keep talking about this all day, please continue," Peralta said as he gave y/s space to leave the room. "Now, changing the subject. Why so many bags for one shift?"

Y/n smiles as she arrives at her table. Which happened to be the one in front of Jake's.

"You know that guy we met at training a few weeks ago? The one from 95." Jake rolls his eyes.

"How could I not remember, he ate you through your eyes?" He says in a low voice, but Y/n ends up hearing him.

"Yeah. I think that's the one," she laughs. "So, at the end of training he asked for my number and we've been talking ever since. Today we're going on our first date. Isn't that awesome?" She smiles and Jake's face is completely serious.

"Oh yeah. Of course." He says seriously and places her bags on the table.

This information caught Jake off guard. It wasn't entirely what he wanted to hear from Y/n. Yes, she looked so beautiful and perfect in that outfit she wore and those Louboutin heels, it was to be expected that she would go out on a date at the end of the day. But deep down, Jake wanted it to be just a drink with his friends.

But it was also obvious. Rosa, Amy, and Gina hadn't said anything.

While they were working together, Peralta couldn't concentrate on the case. Because, first, she was SO beautiful that it took his focus away from his duties, and second, the words 'first date' and 'let's go out today' wouldn't leave his head.

You see, the love of her life was dating someone else, of course she didn't love him, as he loved her. And third, Jake was desperate to tell her everything he felt at that moment and maybe ruin their friendship forever.

"Jake? Did you hear me?" Y/n asked, as she took the first suspect of the case to the interrogation room.

"Sure, yes." He says desperately.

"Is that okay with you then? If I interrogate him?"

"Oh, yeah. It could be." He smiles without showing his teeth and they enter the floor of the building that was their squadron's.

Detective Y/n takes the suspect in for questioning, while Jake returns to his desk. Snorting.

Peralta sits in his chair so hard that Boyle and Sarge could hear a crash.

The two look at each other, and then look at the younger detective, who was huffing and running his hands over his face as he slid down the chair.

"Hey, you urgently need to tell her how you feel." Terry looks around before approaching Jake and speaking.

Jake, scared, looks at the sergeant without understanding anything.

"Stop pretending. Practically the entire squad knows that you love Y/N deeply." Terry says and Boyle nods.

Peralta grimaces and snorts sarcastically.

"Since when?"

"Since when?" Boyle asks indignantly. "I can name a few events. Well, starting with when you entered the 99, you were chosen instead of her, and what did you do? You said you would only enter the police station if she joined you, because you said she was more brilliant than you and you thought it was unfair. Another one? When you had a bad cold for a week, because you walked more than 10 kilometers to help y/n because her car had broken down" Boyle says and Terry agrees.

"Or the time you skipped a date just to stay with her at the apartment because she's afraid of thunder and you knew there was a big storm coming that morning."

"If this wasn't love, my name isn't Charles Boyle anymore"

"How do you guys know all this?" Jake asks.

"You're so loud that the entire squad knows when a message from her comes in or when there's something related to her. Because you just don't know how to whisper to yourself. Not to mention that it's clear," Terry says with a sigh.

Peralta leans back in his chair and sighs deeply, defeated.

"Okay. You guys win. I'm in love... No, I'm in love. I've loved y/N since I was 10 years old," Peralta confesses. "Damn, we grew up together, we went to the police academy together, we worked together. That woman is an addiction. God, how I love her." He sighs again. "I would give anything to be that man today, just to go out with her."

"Dude. Stop it, say everything you feel and be THE MAN who takes her out," Jefford says.

"It's not that easy"

"How could you not? She literally shows you that she loves you too," Boyle shouts in a whisper, so as not to alert the entire police station.

"Tell me another, Charles. She must love me only as a friend, and you see."

"What I'm saying is true. We all know that you love each other romantically. It's just that you both aren't aware of it."

"I'm with Boyle," Terry agrees.

Jake reflects.

"What now? What should I do?"

"Dude, just tell her how you feel. And if it doesn't work out, I can get you a job at 92," Boyle jokes.

"Ew Charles, on 92?" Jake gags.

"It's just him joking, man. Just tell her, if anything goes wrong we're here and we'll do something. It's going to be okay" Terry consoles, putting his hands on Jake's shoulder.

Peralta smiles at his friends, mentally thanking them for having them in his life.

Then, y/n passes by saying goodbye to them with the phone to her ear, and leaving the police station in a hurry.

"And there she goes my friend, now or never!" Boyle says.

"You're right. I already have the no. What could be worse is losing my best friend and the love of my life at the same time. But hey, just one detail" he smiles sarcastically and grabs his jacket that was on the chair. "Thanks, guys. I love you" he runs off, after the detective who had just passed by.

Well, at the same time that Jake was talking to the boys at the police station, y/n took the suspect to the interrogation room and ended up meeting Diaz and Santiago in the hallway.

"Another inmate today?" Rosa says, as she entered the hidden room that Y/n was in.

"Yeah. I'll just interrogate him and leave for my date." Y/n said weakly as she looked at the detainee with his hands tied sitting in the room, not knowing that he was being watched by three detectives behind the mirror.

"Wow, and you're really going?" Amy asks curiously.

"I'm going, why wouldn't I?" Y/n asks.

"Rosa and I bet you'd stand up the young detective from 95. Like you did the others."

Y/n laughed awkwardly. "Why would I do that?"

"Don't be naive, y/s" Diaz crosses her arms.

"y/n, dear. You canceled the last three dates because Jake needed your help with something. It was either work, helping him when his apartment flooded in the rain, or when he didn't have a ride home."

"But that was unexpected, I was just helping my best friend"

"I'm a great friend of yours, but I'm going to have to say this. Stop being a sly girl." Diaz says impatiently.

Amy and y/n look at each other scared.

"You only skipped the dates because Jake was in trouble and you're in love with him." Y/n opens her mouth to respond, but Rosa continues. "Not really. You love that man. I can tell, the whole squad knows it. You breathe Jake, you exhale Jake, you live for Jake, you're half of Jake. I'm not saying you fuck Jake, because you've never had sex. I think..."

Amy holds back her smile and y/n is so shocked that she holds back her laughter, while listening to her friend's scolding.

"So tell the truth, Y/n! You love that man!"

Y/n crosses her arms, sighing deeply and leaning against the wall. She looks at the girls.

"Yeah, you beat Rosa. I'm totally in love with Jake" Y/n smiles without showing her teeth.

"I've loved Jake since, what? I was 10, 11 years old? Come on guys, I grew up with Jake. Our moms were friends forever, Jake and I were inseparable, we went to the police academy together, every job we've had, the other one was there. Jake is a part of me."

"Why don't you tell him everything you feel? I know it's not easy, but maybe it could release what you've been repressing for years," Amy says.

"I'm with Amy. Tell me everything you feel, these dates of yours never work anyway. Nothing you do will make you forget Jake. Come on girl."

"What if it goes wrong? I lose my best friend and the love of my life. Then I die."

Amy laughs friendly.

"No, you won't die." Rosa says. "And no, you won't get dumped by Jake Peralta. Seriously, this man lives for you and everyone knows it, of course, except you. All the flirting, unnoticed caresses, kindness with bags, car doors and everything else?? There was one time he told me that he canceled a date to stay with you at the apartment, because a storm was coming and you're afraid of thunder. Y/n, grab this man and go to a room, I promise it will be a success." She smiles and crosses her arms satisfied.

Y/n makes a face but smiles.

"Rosa is partly right. Say what you feel, cancel the meeting and talk to Jake. You know that going or not meeting the detective from 95 won't make you get over Jake any faster. The only way to get over Jake is to stay with him," Santiago says, putting a hand on her shoulder. "Go on, Rosa and I will take care of this inmate. Go after your happy ending." Amy smiles and y/n sheds a few tears at her friend's words.

"Okay" y/n wipes her tears. "I don't know what I would do without you guys" She says leaving the room.

"It would be nothing!"

"Rosa!!"

"Sorry"

"I love you guys!" Y/n yells in the hallway before running out and calling the detective to cancel the meeting, and then going to talk to Jake.

Passing by the room where they were, she sees Jake talking to Terry and Boyle, she says a little goodbye to the boys and leaves the police station to cancel the meeting.

With Y/n out of the police station, Jake runs down the stairs to see if he can catch up with her. When the woman takes the phone away from her ear and turns to go back in, Peralta throws the door open, making her lose her balance.

"Whoa, whoa, honey. I got you," he says, his hands on her back.

She smiles embarrassedly.

"Sorry, I think I stepped on your foot with my heel." Y/n looks down and steps out of his arms.

He makes a sign that it was nothing and they remain silent.

"Were you going to meet?" He asks.

"No, I called to cancel"

"Did something happen?"

"No, nothing," she says, looking at the floor, but then gathers her courage. "Okay, actually there is one thing. I was going to look for you-"

Jake's eyes widen.

"Okay. I also need to tell you something, please let me say first that if everything goes wrong I can run away from here"

Y/n laughed. But her heart was pounding inside her chest.

"I've been needing to talk to you about this for a while now, but I didn't know how to start this conversation, because I've always been a great friend of yours-" Jake begins, but Y/n interrupts.

"Jake, I-"

"Please, let me finish, my courage is fading." He says desperately and she smiles at his silly expression. "There's nothing better than letting you know about such a beautiful feeling, and after years, today I came looking for you to talk. I know you can't come here without imagining that I could love you so much. I've always been a great friend of yours, since we were kids, even partners at the police station, we live in the same condominium, we went to the police academy together. We're best friends, inseparable, I've always told you my secrets, but I don't know if that's how it'll be anymore. I've always been a great friend of yours, I'm in love with you. Y/n, I love you. I love you romantically." Peralta finishes speaking and sees that y/n has tears in her eyes. "Just being your friend, it's not going to work anymore."

The detective opens her mouth to say something, but all that comes out is.

"Jake"

"I know, it's okay. That was very random and suddenly, you're confused, you don't feel the same. It's okay, I can change jobs so you can feel more at ease..."

"Jake" y/n smiles.

"...Boyle said he can get me a job at 92. I know it's disgusting there, but anything to make you comfortable." He rambles.

"JAKE!" She screams and the detective can't shut up, until she decides to do the job herself.

Y/n approaches Jake and makes the man stay quiet, while passionately kissing Peralta's lips.

At first, Jake is startled by the act, but when he realizes that it is an answer, and it is a YES, he relaxes and delights in the woman's arms. His hand lovingly passes from her waist to her things, while y/n, has her arms hanging around his neck, stroking the man's hair.

Their separation only came when they were short of breath, but this caused their foreheads to be stuck together.

"And what's the answer?" Jake jokes.

"Shut up." Y/n laughs. "You know the answer. But I say yes, I love you too. Since I was 11, you brat." She says making Jake smile.

"I think if I kept this feeling to myself any longer, I would combust." Jake makes an exploding head gesture.

Y/n laughs, looking into the man's brown eyes.

"Gosh, how I love you. And it feels so freeing to say that to you." She smiles.

"I love you so much," Jake says again, pulling her into a passionate hug.

"The squad already knows, right?" Y/n whispers.

"You know. Boyle said it was evident on our faces."

"Rosa too," she replies. "But I said the squad already knows, it's because Amy and Gina don't know how to disguise that they're hiding behind the curtain on the 10th floor." Y/n looks up, trying to be discreet.

They pull out of the hug and look up. Waving to the guys.

"IT'S ALL RIGHT GUYS. WE'RE GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW!" Jake yells, with an arm around Y/n's waist.

People scream in celebration.

"Stop it, you liar," she scolds. "IT'S HIS LIE," she shouts, making the crowd snort sadly.

"Want to come in? It's freezing out here," Jake says.

"Come on, before the guy from 95 hears my voicemail and comes to make a scene with you."

"What did you say to him?"

"I said I was in love with you and that I was going to tell you how I felt."

"Oh my God, you're in love with me?" Jake feigns surprise.

"You're so funny. I should lie and say I feel this way about you. It's all fake, it was a prank." Y/n jokes.

"Love me too much for that" Jake hugs her from the corner and kisses her temple.

They take the elevator in comfortable silence.

"So, you mean you would go to 92 if I said I didn't love you romantically and that you would quit your job just to see me comfortable?" Y/n asks.

"Yes," Jake says, making Y/n smile and almost explode with love. "But not to 92. It's disgusting there, seriously."

"No, no. I really wouldn't let you go there." They make disgusted faces together and step out of the elevator when it stops.

Author: I need to say two things. First, my question box and chat are open for requests and second, I love writing inspired by music, If you want, you can do it and leave here at the end the songs that inspired the story.

Another thing, I realized after days of writing this story. I ended up changing the captain's name to "Bolt" instead of "Holt" 🤣🤣 If there is this error in the story, ignore it hahaha too big to review.

[rose-riot-johnson]

HIIIIII! I just read your Kensei Muguruma x reader and I'm obsessed!

I wondering if I could request a kensei x femreader where the reader is a noble and she refuses to marry anyone but kensei so her family has to accept him and their wedding night is her first time and kensei is gentle with her.😁

I started watching Bleach again and remembered how much I loved Kensei!!🥰

Hi😃I'm really glad you did enjoy the other Kensei x reader fanfic I have written😁👍My honest reaction when I read your request is that I'm really surprised and excited about it😃👍I do enjoy writing about Kensei and how you requested to write about him, I definitely would honestly be more than happy to write, because your whole request sounds fun to write😁👍I will do my best with writing this fanfic you requested😃👍And also if I'm reading the request right, with the "1st time" and "gentle" parts of what you mentioned in the request, I think you requested the smut genre, so I will see with writing this and see how the fanfic comes out😁👍

👰🤵Later That Night🤵👰(Kensei Muguruma x Female Reader)

Genres: Smut and Possible Fluff (Warning +18 ⚠️: virginity loss (from both Kensei and the reader), pussy licking and fingering (for prepping), cock touching, cock sucking, nipple licking, language, Vaginal Penitration)

You were in a noble family, however you always had a crush on a particular captain of the Gotei 13 in the soul society, who isn't a noble... And his name is, Kensei Muguruma, who is a captain of Squad 9. He has always been friendly with you, eversince the day he met you, which was the day he saved your life from a mean and dangerous hollow.

Your family, especially your parents tried to convince you to be with someone else who is a noble, instead of Kensei, however you kept telling them "no". When your family says you couldn't marry Kensei and you would have to marry another noble, you told them reasons why you want to marry Kensei and not a noble. You even told your family, "You want me to get married, so if I can't marry Kensei, I don't want to marry anyone, because Kensei the only person I want to marry!". Regardless if your family likes it or not, your family knows they have to abide by who you wish to marry, even if he's not a not... And especially if it has to be Kensei Muguruma.

The day of the wedding, you said your vows and Kensei said his vows, as the both of you said "I do". Once both you and Kensei ended being pronounced husband and wife, the both of you, then kissed eachother for the first time ever. Later that night you and Kensei decided to spend about a few nights in a cabin. He also wanted to make you feel special for your first night alone with him, considering that you married him earlier at your wedding (with Kensei), earlier during the day.

Considering both you and Kensei were virgins, he decided to make your wedding night special (for himself and (definitely) you). "Are you sure, you're ready for this, princess?", Kensei asked, as the both of you are already naked. You were sitting on the bed when you answered, "I'm more than ready for you, Kensei... If you feel the need to then do what you need to do to prep me up for our first time...", as you were touching his cock, before sucking on his cock, which made him quietly groan, out of pleasure.

After you finish sucking on his cock, you laid down on the bed to give him the hint that he has your permission to prep you up the way he feels fit. He get on top of you to lick your right nipple, then your left nipple, before moving himself between your legs, proceeding to lick your pussy. As he continued to lick your pussy, he would occasionally look at you, noticing that you were trying to hold back any noise, especially your moans.

Once Kensei got done licking your pussy, he cooed, "I can see you're enjoying how gentle I was with licking your pussy, however I noticed that you're holding back the moaning noise, you're hesitant to make... Don't worry, my sweet wifey... I'm not done prepping you up yet...", before he started to finger you. While he was fingering you so gently, he smiles at your expressions you were making and when he hears your silent moans, he would grin, as he would then praise, "That's it, beautiful... You're showing me more and more that you're enjoying how gentle I am with fingering you like this... We will have our first time soon, my beautiful bride...".

After you released yourself on one of his fingers he gently fingered you with, you ended up having your legs around him and Kensei gently put his cock inside of your pussy. At first while Kensei was fucking you, it was a little painful for both of you, which both of you figured it would be natural, considering niether of you had sex until the moment of the both of you and Kensei lose your (and Kensei's) virginity to eachother, however after a few minutes after he started fucking you, the intercourse didn't hurt at all and it felt very enjoyable for the both of you. He was also gentle with you the whole time the both of you had intercourse for the first time ever. After he emptied his cum inside you from gently fucking you for about an hour, he would completely get off you to lay down on his back on the back, proceeding to have you lay on top of him, to have you snuggle with him.

While you snuggle with Kensei, he asked, "Did you enjoy everything I'm doing to you and was I being gentle with you enough, my princess?". You then answered, "Ofcourse I enjoyed everything you're doing to me, especially with our first time having intercourse together... And ofcourse you were gentle enough with me, my Kensei bear...", before you continued, "I love you, Kensei, my husby...". Kensei then replied, "I love you too, my wifey, (Female Reader Name)...", as the both of you proceeded to kiss eachother, before the both fell asleep together into a peaceful slumber.

🤵👰The End👰🤵

I hope you enjoyed this Kensei fanfic my Tumblr Peeps😁👍As for you @ladystrongofharrenhall , I hope it's alright for me to tag you. Anyways I hope I read the request correctly and that I have done well with writing this Kensei fanfic you requested 😃👍I honestly had fun writing this Kensei fanfic😁👍As for the possible fluff genre, it was something I put for 1 of the genres last minute😅