#i'm like so nervous lmfao
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there are already roughly a million posts like this already circulating, but man. just. sometimes you really do have to step away from something you're working on and come back to it later.
creative buds, please. please. no one is worse at taking my advice than i am, believe me, but seriously, if you've been feeling down or frustrated or stumped with something you've been working on lately, take this as your sign to maybe take a little break. a week, a month, whatever. you've been looking at it too long, you've read it too many times, you've erased that same line so many times you've lost count - you need to come back to it with a rested brain and fresh eyes.
however rough it feels to you now, i promise, promise, promise that it'll feel so much better after a little distance. <3
#queenie rambles#writing woes#full disclosure this is 100% about me finally sitting down and forcing myself to reread my own stuff lmfao#there was a lot of Other Stuff happening during the time but the last like. 5-6 chaps of like wringing blood made me SO anxious to post#no matter how many times i edited/reworked them i felt like they were hot fucking garbage#and every time i posted a chapter i was just like. consumed. with anxiety for hours/days after lmfao#now i'm rereading and i'm like aw shit. why was i nervous about this????#anyway. yeah. let your brain rest. sometimes you need that.#and to anyone who's in the middle of the venn diagram of 'tag reader' and 'like wringing blood reader' hey#thanks for never questioning my rampant misuse of commas and italics and the word fuck!!!!! y'all are the real heroes <3 heheh#and as soon as i finish rereading this you guys better strap in because...i have like...two chapters almost ready to go lmfaooo#FULL SPEED AHEAD FUCKERS
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On one hand, I want a final fantasy 6 remake, because the game is criminally underrated and the amount of fan content (which is all absolutely fantastic btw) is Not Enough for my neurodivergent, hyperfixating brain.
On the other hand, that would inevitably encourage more people to join the fandom, which would be great, except it seems these days the bigger a fandom gets the more toxic it becomes, and I really like what we have going on over here in our little corner. We all just love the game and its characters and nobody fights about who should and shouldn't date who or who you shouldn't like because they're ~problematique~. Nobody's trying to make one ship morally better than another, nobody's calling anyone names or threatening to doxx people who don't agree with their opinions. It's so peaceful and I love that for us. We're just vibing. Moisturized. Unbothered. In our lane. Flourishing.
#as someone who was in an extremely toxic and chaotic fandom and lowkey still traumatized#to the point where I'm afraid to mention which fandom it was/what my ship was#i have to say#i genuinely love it here#i was nervous at first sharing my ships and headcanons but everyone is so chill i was worried for nothing#thank you to everyone I've interacted with who has made this fandom a healing experience for me#i shudder to think about what some of the people i interacted with in a previous fandom would do with ff6#probably would take edgar's flirting at face value and call him problematic for objectifying women#instead of considering the narrative and what we know about him and the way he actually treats women#my man drinks loving and respecting women juice he's not a creep#or that weird moment with relm that admittedly made me double take before i realized what he meant#theyd have a whole campaign against him lmfao#bc those people boil characters alive until they're just a formless pile of tropes and stereotypes#and seem to disregard all positive aspects of a character they don't like which is fine#but then they go and try to force other people to think like they do and ugh#theres a lot of silly moments in the game and aspects of these characters that make them well rounded and realistically flawed at times#and i fear that would get lost in the chaos if the floodgates opened after a remake#maybe im just jaded lmao#im jaded and i have anxiety so im always thinking about The Worst Case Scenario#the collective positive spirit of the dwellers in this fandom might actually foster a positive space if more people were to come in#ff6#my post#i was gonna say maybe this is bc we're mostly adults#but that falls flat when i remember how some of the most toxic and immature people in some fandoms are grown ass adults#who bully each other and younger fans#and some of the most mature and cool people were actually younger#maybe ff6 fans are just built different lmao#also idk how old anyone else actually is there might be teenagers here i just don't think about it a lot
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TEMP HIATUS NOTICE
DEC 18th - JAN 3rd I will be on vacation. I'm flying out to meet my boyfriend today for the first time and to spend the holidays with his family! As such, there will probably be little to no writing done during the period of time I'll be gone. I might hop on now and then to answer something, but I expect because his family is eager to meet me, I'm going to be bun-napped lmao. this also means i'll probably be pretty radio silent on discord too sdflkjghd
my queue will be running in my absence, 2 posts per day. this is everything up until last night, so if I somehow missed our thread and you don't see it post, just lmk i'm sorry AAAA
also i stole this idea from @vulpesse but i made a tree you can leave cute messages for me on in my absence if you like!
happy holidays everyone! i'll try to pop in and check on everyone now and then ♡ until then, see you next year :>
#« ooc tag. »#HIATUS NOTICE#i'll rb this a couple times just so everyone sees it but yeah!#i'm heading out in about a half hour to go to the airport and i'm extremely nervous#but incredibly excited#we've known each other for four years ( and apparently liked each other for about that long too lmfao )#but only recently started dating mid october#that irl slow burn romance amirite....#LDKSAJGHD#AAAAAA MAN i can't wait to be back in NYC i've missed it#i miss living on long island
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ROSADO IN FEH. ASKR SIBLINGS FOR FORGING BONDS. RED ALERT RED ALERT HUGE EVENT INCOMING
#feh#GOD i'm like. nervous about it tbh LMFAO PLEASE FEH TREAT ROSADO RIGHT.......................#i am DYING to see their fbs though i AM DYING. sharena and rosado are gonna get along SO WELL#and tbh i think alfonse would be niceys to rosado. they just need one deep down to earth convo and alfonse is completely in their corner#also what if we get artist convos. both alfonse and sharena CAN draw. we NEED to bring that back#tbh i think there's A LOT of directions they can take here AND. I JUST HOPE. IT'S EVERYTHING I COULD EVER DREAM OF. MAYBE MORE#rosado#fe alfonse#sharena
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I've got the first expression challenge sketched out and lemme tell y'all
I still fuckin got it lmAO
#text post#it's been over a year since I've drawn anything#and even then I was drawing regular-degular human characters so it's been even longer since I've drawn a robot of any kind#basically since my last art post on this blog so since 2020 lmfAO#so I was a little nervous that I'd have to struggle to learn it all over again but nah#I'm not just okay with what I've got so far- I'm actually happy with it which feels pretty fuckin good#my relationship with art for the past *checks watch* decade#has just been me sinking into a tar pit of despair and feeling like I'm done forever and don't even like drawing for myself anymore#with an occasional moment where I breach the surface and get some air again like “oh wait I do still like doing this actually”#and I cherish those moments lmAO it's so not over and we are in fact so back
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ayo shoutout to revali for being the champion whose ability i have used the least since obtaining
#i have not obtained urbosa's fury bc sand seals are scary and the camel makes me nervous#i've used mipha's grace at least three times bc i'm bad at the game but i'm also a coward so i don't die but when i DO die. i DIE.#and shoutout to daruk bc i can't parry for shit but i love exploding the spiders#not kpop#shut up vic#that's a lie i'm getting better at parrying i killed at least two walking guardian spider boys entirely on my own#and i can consistently get the decaying guardians first try#but like. i suck. lmfao.#if a shrine is anything above a minor test of strength i literally turn tf around and walk out#like yes medoh was my most recent divind beast but 'most recent' was last week#i have done most of naboris; explored mount lanayru; found a stable i somehow missed; combed the eastern islands; finished eventide;#tidied some sidequests; killed a talus using only bombs; killed another talus; cried in the temple of time; dyed half of my clothes purple;#found fifty more koroks; finally found the second to last memory i need; combed faron woods looking for the spring of courage because#my theory is that it's there (i'm still looking lol); killed a monster camp out of spite; picked a fight with every yiga i saw out of spite;#combed the gerudo highlands; finished two labyrinths; wandered into castle town; wandered into castle town again;#entered castle town with the intention of murdering every guardian i saw; killed the yiga leader; helped build tarrey town; killed a molduga#activated the tower in hyrule field; explored hyrule field in stealth mode bc i'm a pussy and guardians scare me; found and paid the last#great fairy; found and paid the horse god; found and tamed a third horse for the quest at dueling peaks; furnished links's house#upgraded most of my clothes to their highest level; tracked down the other two pieces of the zora armor; found more berserker armor;#killed a lynel because i walked in on it and decided that meant it had to die even if i died too#my point is i've done a lot of shit and in that time i have used revali's gale. twice.#me staring at a wet cliff: well. my only options are to wait it out or go around.#i can't stress that this isn't me willfully sticking it to the birdman i literally just forget i have it i am. dumb.#long tags
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sometimes i'm like hmmm idk if my anxiety meds are working i kinda just feel normal :/ and then i realize yes i Do feel normal but i did Not feel normal BEFORE startign the meds. audie from less than a year ago didnt know what normal Was. this is GOOD normal.
#also im getting a TATTOO in an HOUR#my first!#and im not even a little bit anxious!!#im like. nervous but not Anxious yk. a healthy amount of nerves. and an equal amount of excitement#!!#also! i drove for the first time the other day!#just around a parking lot with my mom bc i just got my permit lmfao but i was sooooo debilitatingly anxious about driving until a few +#months ago and now i'm appropriately medicated and it's like wow. Wow#i can DO THINGS guys. i no longer feel like a prisoner to my own brain#the other day i crossed the street to go up to a stranger and ask to pet his dog#and then at a restaurant i asked the waiter a question about my order instead of just settling for smth i didnt want#i know some of these are small things. but they're big To Me :]#i finally feel like a capable human being. and i enjoy life! and i like myself as a person usually mostly!#<- working on that last one lol but making great progress#just idk man. im doing a lot better just generally speaking#SO excited to be back at college tho hoooly moly get me out of this house#audie talks
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Anonymous asked:
00/00. 0. What I would choose? Frankly, my mind is too active. My thoughts never stop racing. If I were in your position, I would be too curious for my own good. And since we are quite the same, in a lot of ways... I have anticipated on your hesitance. How? It's because I know you. I understand you better than anyone else. I understand deeply what you've been going through. The neglect, the boredom, his passing, the restraint, the depression, and weight of the days of waiting and waiting until others catch up... I anticipated on your hesitance. I suspected your next step would be asking for guidance. I think your next step is a request for information. Thus I have already provided you with clues to my identity. Maybe once you put the clues together, you will be able to make the decision yourself. Now, be a good soldier boy and puzzle this out. You can do this, Shikamaru. You've cracked codes before. You have never failed to impress me when it mattered. Here is the decryption tool: Each message contains one puzzle piece. Ten messages. Ten puzzle pieces. 1=A, 2=B. Once you pierce the puzzle together, you will whisper the code and get an understanding of the span of my influence. Then, you will decide. I will not decide for you. I cannot free your mind for you. You must do that yourself. I will only say this. I do look forward to meeting you… even if you decide that this will be a goodbye.
It was absolutely IDIOTIC of him to stand there with his eyes closed. He was well aware of it, and yet still he felt no particular fear of being so vulnerable at that very moment.
Was it that he trusted this unknown person? This mysterious observer and guide, who had slithered into his life in the most peculiar way, which Shikamaru had kept secret from everyone. Even from Asuma. ...Just as this person had told him.
Or... did his depression play part in his carelessness? Perhaps he, deep down, didn't care if he was a lone deer walking in– and lying down encircled by a wolf pack.
Shikamaru didn't dwell on it too much, and slowly lifted his eyelids to find, as he had thought, a new note. They were there. His brown eyes scanned his surroundings carefully while picking up the note to read it. He actually chuckled once he'd reached the finish. He knew it. Those numbers had played an important part, after all. He had tried to figured out their meaning earlier, but hadn't quite managed. Now, however, it all made sense.
Of course. The numbers represented romaji. The 26 letters in the alphabet. How could he not have seen that? Now, they surely had to reconsider their view of him. He wasn't a genius, he felt more stupid than a rock. Hopefully they wouldn't be too disappointed in him... Their praise and encouragement did mean a lot to him. Especially now, with only Kakashi left to truly talk to. He, understood Shikamaru very well, too. But apparently this mysterious person claim to know him better than anyone.
"Right..." Shikamaru took a seat under a nearby tree and leaned back against the trunk, gazing up at the passing clouds. "15, 18, 15, 3..." He had memorised the numbers when spending some quiet evenings trying to work them out before. Now, he'd gotten a very generous hint and it didn't take long before his calm expression had changed.
He stared at the sky, then slowly lowered his gaze back down at the note and read the words again, heart racing.
"...Orochimaru."
#number anon.#notes.#save.#// oR SHOULD I TAG––#A CERTAIN SOMEONe..#// also you have no idea how much I've enjoyed these asdfsgdbfsd#I absolutely adore stuff like this -– EVEN IF I GET NERVOUS OVER TRICKY THINGS 'cause I'm..#i'm certainly not very clever lmfao#BUT THIS IS SO FUN!!;;;
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speaking of new icon... 6 mo voice update for my fellow tumblrinas <3
#mud.spotted#mud.hrt#lil late but whatever#it's within the month so it counts#i was like ouu I'm nervous to post this 👉👈 but then I realized my one day on t vid is here and was like... yeah I NEED 2 UPDATE LMFAO#pre t voice makes me cringe but only because why. did noboby tell me i sounded like a literal child#anywayz#yah#vid#can you tell how excited i am tho lmfao#hearing the difference gives me mega euphoria#fat tboy moments <3#voice progression#voice update#6 month update#i dont wanna add a ton of tags but!#I'm still scratchy and my singing voice is fucked but im workin on it#you can tell i'm gaining confidence because pre t i would never fucking dream of me posting a vid of me laughing DSFFHSD
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editing
#thats it thats the mood#i hate life#this is the THIRD TIME i change the time in this fic bc it just didn't work 😭#and now i have to add a whole entire scene for a reason I really don't want to go into#im working thru chapter 1#its like what. 5k?#three chapters. 17k. i have. 12k more of this#it doesnt help that this is for a new fandom and I'm nervous abt posting LMFAO#last night i was procrastinating editing so hard i rearranged my whole room#ghost post#ghost writes#from me
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Hi Queenie - can I ask for some Diane...um again? 😁
She looked up when her door slammed open, but one look at the expression on Kaylee's face and she knew better than to start throwing questions out every which-a-way; people talked all the time about how it was Caleb who looked so much like Chris, Caleb who could be his twin if given a haircut and a khaki shirt, and still, for her money, she thought it was Kaylee who took after him most.
And boy, she'd known Chris long enough to know exactly what that expression meant on him - so she had a pretty good notion what it meant on her.
Diane waited until she heard the familiar thwump of a body hitting her sickbed and only moved then, peeking her head around the privacy screen to ask the gentlest question she could: "You good, Kay?"
She didn't see any blood, didn't see welts or hives or the line of a sunburn, but again, this wasn't her first time working the camp through the summer, and she knew the things that sent most of the campers and counselors running to her office with tears in their eyes rolled off the Hacketts' backs like water off a duck; the Hacketts, she knew, were survivalists in the truest form, born and bred to withstand anything - everything - and so the things that ailed them were usually much, much worse.
From the bed, Kaylee huffed, the very picture of agony with her arms crisscrossed over her face and her grass-stained shoes dangling over the edge. "How do you get a boy to like you?" she asked, the weight of the world in her voice, and yup, uh huh, got it in one - the Hacketts could bleed, and the Hacketts could burn, the Hacketts could itch, the Hacketts could freeze, but affection, well...that was a slightly different story, wasn't it.
six sentence sat(or)sunday!!!
#durorholmes#six sentence weekend#the hacketts#!!!!!!!!!! why of COURSE you can!!!! sdklfjsdkljfkldj i cannot tell you how hard this made me grin this morning skldjfklsajf#i always get a little nervous when i'm making/fleshing out tangentially related characters for longfics#so i cant even begin to express how stoked i am you're digging nurse kelly 🥹#i have GOT to get back in the groove for like wringing blood because there is....so much i have planned for her lmfao. so much.#until then HERE!!!! a vague and completely contextless spoiler for what's around the bend.....hehehehehehe
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do you ever just struggle w/ social anxiety and sit there staring blankly into the void?
#ami's ramblings#// i like see the vc have ppl in the sun/dayma/ins di/scor/d server and i'm like 'what if???'#// bc like i need smth like bg noise of ppl chattering or smth to keep me focused on my art#// but like i'm too nervous to even try but i wanna???? idk man#// i just realised i'm tagging my taking in tags like i'm on my rp blogs holy eff lmfao oops too late to stop#// but fr idk man i wanna just have the bg noise of company and idk try to fight my social anxiety#// but lol fear is intense#// now i could've rambled this on twt or bsky but like i can't go and write as much as i do in tags#// i like being able to p much ramble in a kinda discreet way like tags#// old habits from being a tumblr rper don't really die#// but then again i been doing that since late 2012 so...#// yeah...#// i will shut up now
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bro
#i hate job apps lmao kinda in the trenches rn#i'm so idk so mixed feelings rn 💀#i think my self esteem when it comes to job apps is like fucking shot from career fair and job rejections and everything#my last interview was offered like a couple days before the interview and i just winged it and didn't rly prepare#and then after the interview realized i actually kinda like the company and would kinda wnat the job more than my lack of prep suggests LOL#but i applied for smth over the summer and they said they'd actually be interested in giving me an offer#but i committed to staying on campus for this yr (which i could've done stuff to get out of but i have dumb reasons for it ig)#but they just reached out and said they'd STILL be interested in offering me a job for summer 2025 start date#and it makes me fucking sad that i feel so weird abt it LMFAO i am happy abt it#but like literally this week has been so many rejections back to back bc i've been applying to things at my (old) college's career fair#and so many of them have already just immediately rejected me 💀#so a big part of me rn is like why the fuck would this company even still want me ya know#😀😀😀😀 i thnk i'll cry abt this at some point idk when tho 😀😀😀😀#also my mom keeps nagging me to apply for masters which i haven't actually looked into at all yet#i think esp bc she called me last night and was like no one's gonna give you a chance bc you only have bachelors#so you can't compete when theres masters and phd applicants too#which is true ig like i have just gotten flat out rejected without any interview or anything so many times#sooooo all of that adding up to me being like well i somehow tricked this company into still wanting me right#even tho i am literally doing nothing this yr i'm staying on campus bc i like it here#and i have a remote part time job and i'm figuring out what i want to do#jfc idk lmfao i'm also nervous abt telling my mom bc i feel like she just#ughhhgiuhdgfiwtglkdghfajs she can be very critical and judgmental ;-;#and i fele like she's been like that kind of a lot w job/masters conversations and i don't rly like talking to her abt it lmfao#when she called me yesterday she started nagging me abt job apps and not being picky abt stuff and i'm like#you have told me this 746598347 times i rly don't need to hear it again#i do appreciate and love my mom but i just rly don't like this lmfao#i think she'd be ok w it / happy i guess she did tell me to apply for this company at one point a while ago#i wanna scream lmfao#bro i wish tumblr would tell me when im RUNNING OUT OF TAGS rip some of this rambling i don't even remember what i said LOL#jeanne talks
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this day6 cupsleeve event is so back like before...like pre-pandemic BACK 💀
#not me on the hunt for freebies again and ofc the venue is full likw before...marty i'm scared KAKSKD#kinda sus that one was just giving away albums for free not even like a raffle style just approach them ig 💀#i do remember meeting mydays who would drag me along to line up for freebies lmfao hopefully there's another extroverted one 😅#i'm so nervous wtf i want free stuff so bad LMAAOAOOAA#share ko lang 🙄
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(but) I love to look at the stars
the way you look at me
#just some lines i ended a poem with cuz i think i'm so poetic for this LMFAO#i could send the full poem if anyone wants. or at least recreate it to my ability#it was about like how i wish i could return someone's affections but i'm aro and the closest thing to romance i cam feel is beauty ig lol#this is so fucking stupid. why am i even trying with this shit man. why#i'm cringe but that's not news so anyway umm#unrequited love#you don't get an aromantic tag. because i am insecure and scared#maybe if i say aromantic enough it'll work anyway#oh i should also say the word poetry again#fml brother why am i like this#NOOO I WANTED TO USE THE PRETTY FONTSSSS WHY DOESN'T IT FITTTT#italics will have to do#stop reading my social anxiety converted into tumblr tag form and keep scrolling buster#making the text smaller again cuz i got nervous 😔#ay what'd i tell ya this is how i cope buckaroonie
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Guess who officially signed the supervisor contract at work and yet feels even more useless and incompetent than two days ago
#It's insane honestly I had worked so hard to feel secure in what I've learned and now I feel like that Patrick meme#Where he's nailing a board to his forehead or whatever. Guess I'm scared of fucking up and nervous#Which is bad cause it makes fucking up 50% more plausible#Since I'm not focused and am instead... Well. Distracted.#God damn I honestly don't even wanna work there anymore I thought doing this would make me feel a little better about it but honestly#I just wanna quit.#Let's see if the slightly fatter paycheck helps at all come the end of the month lmfao
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