#i'm learning to respect my own boundaries in order to show other people how to respect them too.

[ghostzzy]

just. having a continually very difficult time reconciling my physical and emotional realities right now. but i'm really really trying to internalize that living with my mom can be challenging without being constantly bad.

[immaturityofthomasastruc]

IOTA Reviews: Protection

In this episode, Lila is once again going to test the boundaries of Marinette's bond with her best friend, Al—Kagami. Uh, yeah, it's Kagami, not Alya. Because it's not like we saw that four episodes ago, right?

Let's get into the sixteenth episode of Miraculous Ladybug's fifth season: Protection

We start off with Kagami hanging out with Lila to establish the fact that Kagami still trusts Lila over Marinette for some reason before cutting to scene where Marc and Nathaniel reveal a plan for Marinette and Adrien to have their first kiss. Somehow, they believe kissing will allow them to be more honest with how they feel about each other based on what they've seen in fairy tales, shoujou manga, and Hollywood romantic comedies. I'm not making this up. Marinette and Adrien go on the Ferris wheel to try and have a romantic moment as part of the plan, only for Nino's terrible guitar playing to ruin the mood.

Nathaniel: Nino, have you never touched a guitar before?

Nino: Uh, no dude. This is my very first time!

Nathaniel: Well, then why did you replace Luka?

Nino: Well, it didn't look so hard when he was playing it!

Hey, to be fair, I'm there's at least a few people think Nino and Luka are the same character.

After the plan fails, we cut to Gabriel and Tomoe having tea as they discuss moving up the date of something called the Diamonds Ball. Gabriel claims its a scheduling issue, but Tomoe is able to hear his heart beating erratically. Because like in every TV show ever made, being blind somehow gives Tomoe the powers of Daredevil. Also, check out what Tomoe compares Gabriel's heartbeat to.

Tomoe: Your heart beats louder than a taiko drum!

GET IT? IT'S BECAUSE SHE'S JAPANESE!

After Gabriel reveals that he doesn't have a lot of time left (even dramatically showing his Cataclysmed arm to Tomoe when she can't even see it), we see Adrien and Kagami talking about how long Adrien was in the dark about Marinette for. All due respect, this is actually a pretty good scene. I like how Adrien admits that he doesn't want to force anything while also admitting that this is something he has to do on his own. It shows off their friendship and how far both of them have come. Of course, it's ruined by the fact that somehow, Gabriel and Tomoe never learned that Adrien and Kagami broke up over a season ago. Marinette is invited to Adrien's house, and in another good scene, she decides to stop worrying about what to do around Adrien and plans to go there in her pajamas.

Meanwhile, Gabriel and Tomoe argue about how their children were supposed to be the perfect couple, neither of them acknowledging that they didn't even know they broke up in the first place.

Tomoe: All of our plans are falling apart! You were supposed to control your son, Gabriel!

Gabriel: And you, your daughter!

Tomoe: My daughter's so perfect she doesn't need me to control her!

Gabriel: Well, it appears she does.

Tomoe: It's not my child who's falling for someone completely wrong for her!

Gabriel: But she seems to be the one encouraging him!

Tomoe: Take control of your son, and she'll have nothing left to encourage. Organize the dance as soon as possible. Don't fail in capturing Ladybug and Cat Noir's Miraculous. It is imperative that this situation be resolved before you... leave!

Where is he going to, the Shadow Realm?

After Tomoe leaves with Kagami, Gabriel talks with Adrien. He tries to convince him to get back together with Kagami because they're “Of the same design”, and when the camera shows Gabriel touching his ring, he forbids Adrien from continuing his relationship with Marinette.

Gee, I wonder how Gabriel is able to do this. I wonder what he means when he used the word “design” to describe Adrien and Kagami as if they weren't human. I wonder why we keep getting shots of Gabriel touching his ring whenever he orders Adrien around when this show has already established that creations of the Peacock Miraculous can be controlled with whatever object they were in and—Oh my God, just say Adrien and Kagami are Sentimonsters already!

We also get a scene where Tomoe tries to convince Kagami she still has feelings for Adrien, once again reminding us that she's Japanese.

Kagami: He loves Marinette, and Marinette is my friend. Some knots can't be undone.

Tomoe: When the knot cannot be undone, the samurai cuts right through it.

Ah, yes, just like the well-known Japanese legend of when Alexander the Great cut the Gordian Knot.

Adrien follows through on the order Gabriel gave him, until Nathalie gives him another order to do what he wants to do for his love life. For some reason, Gabriel is shocked even though I'm pretty sure Nathalie has had the ring since the end of Season 4, so this one's on you, dude. Meanwhile, Lila lies to Kagami about Marinette being a terrible friend, and once again, Kagami falls for it. Lila tips Gabriel off to what happened, and decides to send a Megakuma (and yes, I know the English dub always uses the term “Megakumas”, but this is the first time in a while where using one makes sense) towards Kagami, akumatizing her into Riposte Prime.

Riposte Prime is... literally just the same as Riposte, only now, she has a different sword, and not even a cool sword at that. Rather than the sword beams she used back in Season 2, Riposte Prime now has the Turtle Miraculous' Shelter power, which she uses by tapping people with her sword, trapping them in red spheres. Why they're red in the first place when the last time an Akuma used Shelter, it stayed green is beyond me. Even weirder, she can only use one Shelter at a time, and I don't even think she knows about this, since she uses it on Adrien and assumes he'll stay in one place. So to summarize, Riposte Prime looks about as creative as Sole Destroyer and needs the Turtle Miraculous to do something Penalteam had the ability to do with ease.

I also need to point out that the whole reason he did this was to ruin Marinette and Adrien's date. Because somehow, a near-death experience at the hands of Adrien's akumatized ex-girlfriend will convince him that he wants to get back together with Kagami. For comparison, there was an episode of Power Rangers Time Force where one of the villains, Nadira, fell in love with Lucas/The Blue Ranger thanks to a misunderstanding. Do you want to know how Ransik, her father, reacted? Not only was he willing to show mercy to one of his mortal enemies, he showed a level of dedication to his daughter and threatened Lucas to treat Nadira kindly, only going back to trying to kill him after the two broke up. The point I'm trying to make is that it says a lot when a mutant crime lord from the future is still a better father than Gabriel is.

Adrien tries to get Marinette to safety, only for him to be trapped in Riposte Prime's Shelter. The tension from that scene is resolved almost immediately as Marinette is then trapped in Riposte Prime's Shelter, giving Adrien the chance to transform into Cat Noir, who then frees Marinette with his Cataclysm. Marinette gets to a safe place and transforms into Ladybug.

Ladybug uses her Lucky Charm and gets a bottle of olive oil. Her master plan is to... just throw it at Riposte Prime. Yeah, all Ladybug does it throw the bottle of olive oil at Riposte Prime, Riposte Prime then cuts it in half, causing the olive oil to spill on her, leading to her losing her grip on her sword for Ladybug to break.

Ladybug de-evilizes the Megakuma, gives Kagami another useless Magical Charm, but she chooses not to accept it, so both Ladybug and Cat Noir head off to detransform so Marinette and Adrien can convince her that Lila lied to her, leading to her forgiving Marinette.

Marinette and Adrien get another chance to be together, but for some reason, Marinette decides to go home, so Gabriel and Lila call this a win. And so the episode ends with Kagami confronting Lila and telling her that she's not going to fall for her lies anymore.

Kagami: I'll still be your friend if your friendship is genuine.

Oh for fuck's sake...

This is the third time Lila has tricked Kagami, and she's still going to trust her? Why? She caused you to get akumatized three times! Yeah, Kagami claims she isn't going to be Lila's puppet, but it's hard to see this as character development when she was already made a complete idiot for no reason! Hell, for all we know, Lila's next plan is to trick Kagami into handing over her mother's social security number.

But I'm just kidding... because this is the end of the Kagami and Lila subplot for the season. Yeah, seriously. Once again, despite being built up a lot, just like with a lot of stuff last season, the writers decided to abruptly end this subplot, as Lila and Kagami have their own plotlines later on. You know what? Screw it, the episode's over anyway.

Like “Sentibubbler”, this episode actually started off pretty strong, but started to fall apart towards the end. I liked the character moments Marinette, Adrien, and Kagami all had, and it really highlights their friendship, and Marinette and Adrien continue to have some decent romantic chemistry. The problem came from how stupid the conflict was. Not only was it out of character for Kagami to be this gullible, but the entire conflict stemmed from Gabriel deciding to ruin his son's date. The Akuma was underwhelming, the resolution felt phoned in, and once again, the cliffhanger doesn't go anywhere for the rest of the season. It's not terrible like “Illusion” or “Derision” were, but it's still a pretty mediocre episode.

THE BIGGEST IDIOT OF THE EPISODE IS... GABRIEL

While Kagami came very, very close to getting the award, Gabriel ended up edging her out and became the first character to get the Biggest Idiot Award twice in a row. Not only did Gabriel have no idea his son broke up with Kagami, he didn't even know he started a new relationship with Marinette, forgot that he gave Nathalie one of the two things capable of overriding the orders he gives his son, decided to send an Akuma to ruin his son's date after he learned he and Marinette were dating, even though said Akuma was the girl he was trying to make Adrien develop feelings for again, and he did all of this right after the episode that ended with him vowing to be a better father to Adrien for what little time he has left before he dies. He's clearly spending what could be the last few weeks of his life well, isn't he?

[rauchendesgnu]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 💗 (i don't know if you do these sorts of chain-letter things, or if you'd prefer not to, but for my part i do like to know which of their works a given author is especially hype on, so consider this an opportunity to gush!)

hi there! I'm not really a fan of chain letters, but I do support people gushing about each others' (and their own) art. I hope you don't mind if I open this up to anyone who sees this (to anyone who sees this: if you're feeling like showing off your favourite pieces of writing or art or gifsets or music or sculptures or whatever you do, then please do so! I'd love to see everyone's best ofs! @ialwayscomewhenyoucall @al-in-my-head @chaosheadspace I am herewith asking you specifically to show me your favourite fics :D)

These are in no particular order:

A Gentleman's Guide To Dancing Fandom: The Witcher Pairing: Geraskier Rating: T Words: 8,433 Why is this a fave: Gay Regency Pining™️and dance lessons Other Stuff Worth Mentioning: Regency Era, Witchers still exist, Slow Burn (ish, with only 8k words)

Insane Twink Takes On Military (or how Lambert learned that Geralt's husband is actually terrifying) Fandom: The Witcher Pairing: Geraskier Rating: T Words: 1,068 Why is this a fave: BAMF Jaskier, also intimidation is one of the best skills in DnD and Jaskier rolled a Nat20 in this fic Other Stuff Worth Mentioning: BAMF Jaskier, do I need to say more?

New Perspectives Fandom: The Witcher Pairing: Geraskier Rating: T Words: 4,226 Why is this a fave: vaguely Victorian setting, people respecting boundaries, trans character, supportive husband (and friends) Other Stuff Worth Mentioning: trans Jaskier, Arranged Marriage, Historical Fantasy (ish) AU (don't ask me to define the settings my brain comes up with), transphobia (not from Geralt), dysphoria

For A Moment We Are People Fandom: The Magnus Archives Pairing: LonelyEyes Rating: T Words: 3,075 Why is this a fave: Hurt Elias. Also Peter trying to justify falling in love with a horrible man called Elias Other Stuff Worth Mentioning: Illegal Soft LonelyEyes, Peter finds out he doesn't like Elias in pain if it's someone other than him who does the hurting

Five Times Jon Faces His Dysphoria Alone... Fandom: The Magnus Archives Pairing: JonMartin (Teaholding because I think it sounds cute) Rating: T Words: 4,266 Why is this a fave: the trans. also I projected a bit. maybe. and again, supportive partner and friends Other Stuff Worth Mentioning: trans Jonathan Sims, gender dysphoria, comfort

I know it said five fics, but since everything I write concerning trans characters and being trans is kind of very personal and important to me, I'll have to add another of those fics (and feel free to check out the trans fics that I have not listed here)

Questions Of Identity Fandom: The Magnus Archives Pairing: JonMartin (Teaholding) Rating: T Words: 4,496 Why is this a fave: the trans (again, yes). again, projecting and me being angry at ignorant people. supportive partner and friends (do we spot a theme yet?) Other Stuff Worth Mentioning: trans Martin Blackwood, gender dysphoria, comfort, pre-T Martin

I'll have to add another note (sorry): I haven't done so for my earlier work, but my more recent fics all have content warnings about what kind of dysphoria is discussed. If dysphoria in fics is triggering to you, feel free to check the content warnings and take care of yourself <3

Last thing (I promise): feel free to ask me anything about these fics or any other stuff I write and post. I also love recommendations, if you feel like I might enjoy something you've seen or read :D

[mint-yooxgi]

I really respect how much you stand up for yourself. Not everyone has to agree with your opinions in order for them to be valid, and so many people (myself included) are people pleasers who prioritise being ‘nice’ over being honest and true to yourself and setting firm boundaries on the respect you deserve from others. It’s always refreshing to see someone who will stand their ground and I genuinely find it a source of inspiration, so I appreciate that just as much as your brilliant writing! If someone doesn’t like your stories they don’t have to read them. I’ve always taken your requests for feedback as a request to hear what people thought, not as a request for anyone who hated it to come out and insult it (very common courtesy, if I don’t enjoy something I obviously don’t interact with it???). I understand if people like the stories but want to share something constructive, but if you’re giving feedback on something that was FREE, the least you can do is be respectful - honesty without tact and respect is just cruelty. And I think you’re right in your observation that a lot of the hate/cringe anon stuff is coming from butthurt people who don’t like to be called out for their behaviour … sucks to be them! If only they’d take the opportunity to learn and grow from it 🥲

Hey love, I just want everyone to know I received this ask before I got the one I just responded to, but I felt the need to respond to the other one first because, I'll be very honest, I'm tired and very upset people keep taking things out of context and putting words in my mouth.

This is getting ridiculous at this point, and you're right here my dear anon, I AM going to stick up for myself because this is MY blog, and if people don't like it, they can see themselves out. I have every right to defend myself on my own blog, or make jokes out of rude, hateful anons that come into MY safe space and call ME a "dumbass hoe."

I, too, believe it or not, am a people pleaser, but I'm sick and tired of ignoring my own comfort in favour of others. This is something I felt finally needed to be said, and I'm very pleasantly surprised by how many other authors agree with me. Which, honestly, says a lot!

I literally never made it about the two blogs I reblogged those fic rec posts from. One of which, has reached out and said they're actually grateful I told them and is going to fix the post when they get a chance to! Kudos for them! That's the mature thing to do!

This whole situation never was directed at anybody, or meant to be targeted until certain people made it just about them. And now, it's ballooned into this when all I was asking was for basic respect for all authors. I'm just... shocked.

And I could not have said it better myself, anon. I hope you don't mind me quoting you here, but

"If someone doesn’t like your stories they don’t have to read them. I’ve always taken your requests for feedback as a request to hear what people thought, not as a request for anyone who hated it to come out and insult it (very common courtesy, if I don’t enjoy something I obviously don’t interact with it???). I understand if people like the stories but want to share something constructive, but if you’re giving feedback on something that was FREE, the least you can do is be respectful - honesty without tact and respect is just cruelty."

This, especially your last line about tact and respect is literally so important. I think people get too comfortable saying whatever they want behind the security of the anonymous feature. If you have a problem with me, then come off anon, or shoot me a private message, and we can deal with it there. Sending a rude anon during a time when I'm making a post about showing your authors respect just doesn't sit right with me. And if you're going to send feedback, like actual helpful feedback, make sure it will actually help the person you're sending it to? Also, make sure they asked?

I really hope people do take this opportunity to grow, and critically think about this situation before trying to get involved. Because at this point, a lot of people are just making themselves out to be an ass. (Not you anon, you're literally so sweet for sending me this! Same with everyone who has been supporting me and kind! So I thank you very much!!)

[amynchan]

Of all places to think this through via typing, I'm fully aware that tumblr dot com may not be the best.

But it's the one I got, so bing, that's the one that gets it.

But I'm just... I'm confused by the mass opinions about schools and, more importantly, what people seem to??? actually want to do???? about them???? Or how????? To address them?????

(please note that this is all USA-centric as that is my experience in both learning and teaching.)

(readmore to save your eyes, if you so wish. It also gets rambly)

Like, I see people who seem to be upset by the mandatory k-12 schooling. Upset that it's required, upset how it's run, upset by the lack of options, upset in general. There's a lot of anger and hate towards the system, and I honestly feel, just given what I see, that some people are negative two steps away from calling for a complete teardown of the system and a restructuring of it without a concrete plan on what the new system should do or look like.

Like, in an ideal world, here's what k-12 should teach students:

How to participate in a society that requires both give (common courtesy to others, respect for boundaries, spending money) and take (asking for that raise, enforcing your own boundaries, self-advocacy),

The basic knowledge that is required to function in a wide community while ensuring independence (basic mathematics for budgeting, time management, and basic planning AND how to move logically from one step to the next; physical education for taking care of one's body, knowing one's limits, and conditioning it to ensure that it continues to work for you as you age; history and political science to ensure that every citizen can engage meaningfully and knowledgeably in a democracy; science to have a fundamental understanding of how the world around you works, which slows the influx of faulty in misinformation, AND to teach procedural thought processes that allow students to analyze what they see; and English or literature to show students how to engage critically with a text [fiction is fun and can be a vehicle for symbolism and powerful themes, absolutely, but you SHOULD be able to take these skills to important documents such as contracts and laws in order to know what you're signing your life away to]. At LEAST.)

I know that second one was a lot, but these are the two points. This is what schools should teach. This is what teachers should teach.

The problem is that there are so many obstacles in the way of us doing these things.

Mathematics should be taught with and for a purpose: budgeting, time management, basic planning of projects that you may encounter in The Wild (day-to-day life). Trying to teach students the formulas gets pushback of "why will we ever need this." Trying to teach the students using word problems and examples gets pushback of "what the fuck this is too complicated. Can't you just say what you mean and quit bogging us down with this word nonsense?" Then there's the whole thing of logical steps/progression (which is necessary for any type of long-term or short-term planning), and very few people can agree on what way is best to teach this sort of thing aside from "follow these steps to get the answer. Each step is important, and logical progression should be followed." And that gets the "fuck you; I'll go to the back of the book. Why should I care?"

Science should also be taught with and for a purpose: reducing misinformation, encouraging critical thought, and exploring the world around us. But then the fun science experiments that teachers wanna do get reduced to "oooh, pretty explosion!" or "what a waste of time. It's just showy nonsense" instead of "hey, this is how the world works. Pay attention: if you combine all of these cleaning supplies together, they will kill you." Common warnings about dangers in the world and equally common solutions to problems we, as a human race, have encountered before get ignored in school. And the scientific process, as fun as we try to make it, also gets reduced to "be a cog in the machine. No thought; only steps." which is. So not the point.

Physical education is one of the most abused, I think, and I think I've got a right to say it because physed is my beloathed. I hated my P.E. teachers because they'd sit there and yell at us to do more while not doing it with us. It felt condescending. Now, as I'm older, I see some of the shit they were trying to do, but how the fuck do you get hyperactive kids to relax through yoga they don't wanna do, and how do you get introverted kids to run around and strengthen their lungs when team activities are the most horrible things on the planet? P.E. should be about building you up, but that's hard to do in classes that combine to have over 150 kids per period.

History and Social Sciences are also my beloathed. But hate them as I might, they do serve a very important purpose: inform the new generations of how this system works and how to participate in it. It's supposed to teach them how the three branches of government are meant to work together, and it's meant to teach them their role in the government, and it's meant to teach them that the government should always be in support of the people that create it. The thing is that the class basically gets gag ordered depending on where you are, and the information that's given is sometimes idealized to the point of uselessness. These classes should teach students to be responsible and engaged citizens. It's supposed to.

And English. My subject. I didn't know back then what I was meant to be learning because everyone was like "read it, and tell me what you thought" without telling me that the surface wasn't it. English is supposed to teach critical thinking and explanation of the self. You're supposed to be able to use evidence to construct balanced, thought-out arguments. You're supposed to be able to write for an audience other than yourself. You're supposed to find the steps to think something through. And, yeah, grammar mechanics and spelling actually are an important part of this. A geographically locked spelling of one word may be almost indecipherable to another, so using one or two standardized spellings of words helps you to reach out on a global scale. (for instance, everyone will look at you oddly if you try to spell using Old English. But I can rant on these things and knowing rules to break those rules another time)

And if you've read this far and thought "school sure as hell didn't do that for me," then know that--as per some of the notes above--I agree with you. I didn't learn the PE shit until later. I definitely didn't get the English thing until later.

So what's the point of school if the students aren't learning?

Well, one thing is plain exposure. Exposure to the ideas, exposure to start and ask questions later. Obviously it would be better that they learned the first time, but that's not realistic. Exposure is important. I wouldn't have known to look into yoga if I hadn't had to do a bit of it in school. And I wouldn't have known too much about stories and universal themes if my English teachers hadn't made me read a few that were riddled with symbols and themes that I later learned other people actually took seriously.

But also, problems????? With school????? So many of them?????

The whole 'sit all day and cram all day and not even able to use the bathroom what the fuck is wrong with you, you totalitarian regime?'

Yes, there's a reason for that. No, the reason doesn't hold weight for people who don't give a shit about what they're meant to learn. Yes, there are alternative options. I'm pissed as hell that I have to count a tardy as 'someone who leaves at the start of class, basically fucks off the whole time, and only comes back before class ends.' Because other students pulled that shit and ruined it for the future classes. It's also distracting af to myself and the other students. Forget sabotaging your own grade, you're also doing it to others.

However. Guys, this is an Idea that I found that boggled my everlovin' mind. Block schedules. Part of the reason Jr. High and High School were stressful to me and my peers is because it was the same exact routine every single school day. 50 or so minutes per class, 7 classes a day, with one lunch and no recess except to run from one class to another. I didn't know about block schedules until I heard about it from other schools. Block schedules rearrange the hours of the classes so that way students get differing schedules on alternative days. It allows classes to go longer, which can allow teachers to get a few more lessons in, teach the students, give students more opportunity to get work done and ask questions, and not perpetually exhaust students day in and day out with the same high-paced routine. Those who have had this claim it's got its own problems, but it sounds like an upgrade to me.

And if we can get students to a place where they understand the need to learn the bare basics of society to join and be a part of making it work (maybe even changing it, who knows???), then it might be easier to believe bathroom breaks instead of knowing students are stealing a toilet (has happened), are damaging property (has happened), are beating someone else up in the bathroom (has happened. There was blood), are smoking cigarettes or vaping or smoking weed in the bathroom (idk about anyone else, but I'm sensitive to that shit and it fucking hurts, and lots of high schoolers don't yet have a sense of 'what I do hurts others' on a deep and intrinsic level [listen, they just got outta Jr. High. They ain't gonna know for a while]), or are doing something else that could cause harm to themselves (not terribly likely but likely enough to be concerned) or others (honestly more likely. Directly or indirectly). Like, the instant gratification monkey is hilarious in some aspects, and they are devastating in others. If we could teach personal responsibility and a bit of social responsibility before high school/junior high, then we could probably relax some of those rules a bit. And, honestly, I know these examples are anecdotal to my personal experience. I know some of them won't be believed. I know a lot of you guys just honest-to-god wanna use the bathroom.

I'd rather make a fucking world where teachers don't have to count heads and wonder if the kid who's been gone for 25 minutes or so is still alive out there. So it's easier to tell if there's an emergency and take action quickly (teachers do have to keep an eye out for emergency, btw. We're required to report anything that could cause damage to a student physically or emotionally. It's not always handled correctly, which ik I was a victim of when in elementary school [joy]).

The 'I can't focus due to my tough situation.'

One of the questions asked of my dad during his interview is "what would you do if a student skipped your class? What if she claimed her mom had cancer? What if she showed you proof? What if she was having breakdowns every other day?"

Every step of this was a test to see if my dad could be a flexible, empathetic, and firm teacher. My own interviews had to focus on the community and how I best want to serve my own students at a different level. We know that things are tough, and teachers do what we can. There are systems in place, and they are imperfect, and if you want them to change, please for the love of god figure out something that we can enact. I know I would rather be able to help all of my students on almost a tutor level, but there is not enough time in the day. And I only have roughly 150 per semester. Imagine high school teachers, who can have 180-250 per year. We try, but there's not much we can do without the support we need.

The 'can't the teacher see that I am fucking exhausted? How am I supposed to learn when I can't sleep! They should know the studies!'

My guys. We know. We are fully aware. And yet, all of the constructed arguments are directed at the teachers, which is the same as yelling at the clerk in the checkout lane. We are not in charge of this. Hell, idek if the principal is in charge of this. State and federal governments are in charge of this. Teachers are right there in the class with you. Some of us try to let you catch up on sleep when we can. Some of us squirrel away energy and granola bars in our classrooms and offices to try and help you out (on our own dime, btw. Like a school would reimburse for this. pfft). The teachers. Know. We see it. There's also very little we can do about it. We can recommend getting more rest. We can try to give you some in class when the lesson plans allow for it. We can try suggestions if asked for. We cannot change the school day or hours. You are complaining to the wrong people. Get together and start petitioning the state and/or federal courts for that kind of change.

The 'you've been taken in by the schooling overlords. I didn't learn a damn thing in school that helped me.'

Because the system is imperfect! And that's why there's so many of them! Some think we're doing too much and infringing on parental rights when we try to teach about the public. Hence, homeschooling. Some think that we're too unorganized and ineffective. Hence, charter schools. Some think we're definitely not doing enough to prepare the students for an actual life. Hence, private schools. And all the lobbying, lobbying, lobbying. And the endless fucking tests that students have to be prepped for lest a school lose their funding.

And, yeah. The teachers that I've spoken to hate the standardized tests, too. They are not a good gauge on what a student has learned, has retained, or is able to produce organically as a result of their learning. We know that bad days happen, and we all pray it doesn't happen on testing days.

So, my guys, please help in figuring out an alternative. Because, right now, those tests help determine funding for public schools, local and federal support, and student futures. They're cheap, easily standardized without huge norming sessions and trainings for teachers to go to, and able to be graded quickly. Those are the benefits, and on a nationwide/replicable scale, I can see why those benefits are alluring. However, a lot rides on those tests, and if there's to be an alternative, it needs a solidly proposed alternative for lawmakers to actually consider. Something that would beat those benefits out of the water.

I spend a good chunk of my teaching trying to break students of their tendency to be yet another cog in the machine. That's all they've been taught to do, and it's the result of a system that grinds both students and teachers (and some admin as well) into dust. And while the students fight the teachers and the teachers argue with and beg the admin for change, no one talks to the people who can enact the most change.

Just.

I see criticisms of the schooling system. Fair. Valid. The damn thing isn't perfect by any means. There are so many flaws that all of us are sick of.

I wish that, along with these criticisms, there was a way forward we could agree on that keeps the basic function of school in mind:

Teach them how to society.

Teach them basic knowledge.

Let them go make choices.

Anyways, I'm getting rambly, so that's the end of my rant. u_u If you want actionable change, stop arguing with the clerk and start writing letters to the CEO.

[voxasks]

🫐 -Hey there, why not get in on this, haha. Let's go, show me what ya got TV man- Jokes aside, I am a young woman in her 20s going to university for a psychology degree. I am very ambitous & goal oriented, even if it is sometimes very intense. To the point of hyperfixation bordering on obsession. I was going for journalism originally, but I changed majors because I didn't like how much I would have to lick the butts & shoes of yellow journalists who aren't worth my respect or time. I wanted to be part of the information side of things & keep people informed on the happenings around them. But all they do from my perspective is waste hours churning out fiction for views. If I wanted to do that, I would have pursued acting as a career, which is a hobby of mine. I like community theater a lot. It is a fun escape from everything. Something just so satisfying about putting on a show, where the moment I step out on that stage & feel those lights & eyes on me, I am no longer concerned with my problems. The mask is on & won't be off until later~! Music is my other passion. I love writing my own music and lyrics. I play the violin, piano, & guitar. I am taking singing lessons for fun too. My few friends describe me as the one they look to for honest opinions, even if it might not be something they want to hear. I am also weirdly regarded as a ball of energy. I am not a recluse, I just have intense trust issues. It is probably due to the pathetic jokes of relationships I have had, among other potential trauma inducing experiences. I love going out, just only with people I would trust my life with or myself. I am still quite introverted, but I do like the atmosphere of people having a great time & me having a good time, even if it is dancing on my own. If I feel like it, I will just make the decision to disappear for a weekend & hop back around come Monday like I didn't just drop off the planet to who knows where & do who knows what. I am used to the not so great side of life. Walking to school, seeing a dead body on the side of the road, later on seeing those infamous white lines, hahaha. What a day that was, or the time I had to hit the deck from a drive-by. You get used to that rough life than wham in a place that is weirdly sanitized and "safe." It feels like whiplash. I cope with my experiences with humor. Rather laugh than cry, you know. Psych became my interest after taking a random elective in it, & I was hooked on being able to make connections about the world & people around me. Giving me a sense of understanding some of the why's I have asked for years. I'm still learning more, too. I have some ideas that are not exactly conventional & push a few boundaries with other fields of science & ethics. Regardless, I hope to use the knowledge I am gaining to help others help themselves. I think that is a key component in life, to be able to help yourself, even if it means getting/seeking help in order to get to a place where you can do that for yourself. If that makes any sense. With all this said, enjoy your hellish morning, abysmal afternoon, explicit evening, or sinful night. Whichever it may be for you, I like to cover the bases~!

“it  feels  like  you  took  psychology  to  make  sense  of  the  things  that  has  happened  in  your  life  subconsciously.  at  least,  that’s  what  people  do  from  experience  anyway.  it  sort  of  feels  like  you  have  adhd  as  well  due  to  your  spontaneity,  being  described  as  a  ‘ball  of  energy’  and  having  many  interests,  but  hey,  i’m  far  from  being  some  lab  coat  shrink  who’s  qualified  enough  to  sit  behind  a  desk  to  rot  with  everyone  else’s  trauma.  you  want  to  stay  true  to  yourself  no  matter  what,  thus  opting  out  of  journalism  to  avoid  kissing  other  people’s  asses,  i  can  respect  that.  you  sound  ambiverted,  someone  who  struggles  to  find  the  comfortable  balance  sometimes  but  everyone  does  too.  and  hey,  a  dead  body.  must  be  a  big  deal  back  in  the  living  world,  huh?  how’ve  you  been?”

based off of the 200 follower event.

[psychelis-new]

Hi again. Thank you alot for the dream interpretation. It was so detailed and accurate and perfectly resonates with my situation. I do fear being taken advantage of my love and kindness. It's tiring being a giver sometimes. And yeah my personal space is not very peaceful rn 🥲. One thing i forgot to mention was fear when leeches kept on coming in the end. And i tried to understand why i felt fear with your interpretation at the end and it explains everything. I feel disgusted AND scared of the people who emotionally abused me ( finally admitting to myself ) i don't understand why i fear them. I try being logical like they don't have power over me anymore nor they can't do anything to me but i still fear them. I have alot to heal tho. Thank you so much for this detailed interpretation love. Now i can understand myself better thanks to u :)

Take care. Stay hydrated and have a nice day ahead. Sending you a warm hug 🫂

Hey :) Thank you so much for sending your feedback.

I know, being a giver and not getting much back, having to accept crumbles, is really tiring and lonely. It makes you question a lot if you're the wrong one or even if you're really doing enough... But ofc, you're doing even more than you have to. And you're not wrong, ever. It's just that at times, out of what we have learned maybe during our upbringing, we start giving much more than we receive in order to feel enough and validated, and on the long run it simply destroy us since it doesn't change anything in our condition. Remind yourself to give only after you have filled your own cup. It's not selfishness: realize that you need your own love first and foremost so to be able to give to others in a more balanced way.

I'm sorry about your personal situation and privacy not being respected: this may be a bit harder to change but do not give up and try to protect yourself as much as you can. You can say some more "no's", and if you get an overreaction as a response, remind yourself it's not you that they are judging but themselves. It's hard to change rooted habits (especially if you cannot leave a place) so just try out and see what you can do at this time to protect yourself and your energy. Do not force much things and stay safe... maybe working on you and on being more protective of your inner child can already change how you feel; it doesn't have to be a real external boundary at times (despite standing your ground and showing yourself you are as worthy as others really do help). Be aware of possible resentment/anger growing inside of you for not being respected and work on that too (undertand it and accept it).

As for the fear, your inner child can still be scared of the people that abused you and/or you may fear others coming in your life behaving in the same way. Our minds remember details that come with negative experiences and store them so that they can confront them with the details of the experiences we live after it; if there's some sort of matching among the two, they start signaling that to us through triggers a.k.a. trying to save us and block us through fear, in this case for example you may fear being vulnerable with others and create a relationship cause you're scared of them abusing you as it happened in the past. Or maybe you fear those people coming back and not being able to protect yourself or say "no" to them or anything of this type. Try to have a talk with your inner child/younger self to understand their reason and remind/prove them you're grown from there and you can save them and take care of them (maybe you also felt helpless back then and wanted to be helped but nobody did it... you can do it now, you can find help, within as well. I'm sure of this from what you wrote). Journaling about the past can help you too, as writing a letter to your inner child or even to those people (it's okay if you don't feel ready btw, take your time, it'll come to you naturally).

I really wish you the best. Take your time with healing and be kind and compassionate with yourself. I said it in the interpretation and I'm stressing it even more now: you deserve good love now, and you'll get it. Take care, stay hydrated and big hugs to you too!<3

[figs-and-cigs]

Polyamorous Ask Game

Light and Fun Questions:

1. If you could go on a date with any fictional character, who would it be and why?

Buffy will always be my favorite show and Spike will always be my number one crush.

2. What’s your favorite group activity to do with multiple partners?

Dinners. Whether it's going to a restaurant or a potluck at someone's house. Sharing meals is just the ultimate form of connection and community imo.

3. What’s a dream vacation spot where you’d love to bring all your partners?

Not a big traveler but we're fortunate to have a lifestyle resort nearby a lot of go to every year for a weekend. A longer vacation there would be a dream.

4. What’s the most unique date you've ever been on?

We went to a speed dating event and then invited "potential dates" on our dinner date. It became a funny and awkward hangout with three extra people who were not poly.

5. If your love life had a theme song, what would it be?

Melissa McClelland's A Girl Can Dream.

6. What's the most creative way you’ve celebrated an anniversary?

Swingers resort. Not really creative for us, but to the vanillas sure.

7. What’s your ideal day spent with one or more partners?

Staying in, ordering food, cuddling and watching movies. Always.

8. Do you prefer solo dates, double dates, or group hangouts?

All of them are amazing. Depends on how I'm feeling, what types of connections I'm desiring, but typically prioritize solo dates over anything else. Group hangouts don't necessarily involve partners.

9. What’s a hobby you’d love to introduce to one or more of your partners?

Dancing. Seriously, they're going to keep getting invited to dance lessons.

10. If you and your partners were superheroes, what would your team name be?

Like our calendars could ever line up well enough for that to happen. (I'm copping out of this one because I have no idea.)

Thoughtful & Reflective Questions:

1. What does emotional intimacy mean to you in polyamory?

Open communication, about anything, without fear or judgment.

2. How do you manage jealousy when it comes up?

Reason things out with a supportive friend or therapist. Journaling. Focusing on my own hobby. Then communication with my partner if needed. Am I jealous? Fearful the relationship is changing? Am I experiencing FOMO? If I can answer these on my own, I can also find a collaborative solution.

3. How do you prefer to communicate about boundaries in your relationships?

I'm a texter. I usually start there if not on a date where it comes up. I try to be clear and direct. In my experience, boundaries are guidelines for me and don't always need communicated, but will be stated when necessary. For example, I don't answer the phone after midnight - but I will share this information if a partner calls at 1am.

4. How has polyamory changed your perspective on love and relationships?

Love is an infinite resource. There's freedom and beauty in not putting strict rules about how love and relationships evolve. Relationships are more about choosing each other rather than obligation and we each carve our own paths.

5. What’s your favorite part about being in multiple relationships?

The experiences and getting to know so many people on an intimate level.

6. What’s a challenge in polyamory that you didn’t expect but have learned to navigate?

How relationships escalate. NRE and moving too fast into integrating into each other's lives creates way more difficulties than I realized until it happened.

7. How do you balance time between multiple partners and self-care?

Prioritizing my self-care is my number one boundary. I have chronic health issues, so this was something I had to do even before entering polyamory. Mondays are my rest days, period. My schedule fluctuates and isn't always as consistent as some people would like - I find partners who can understand and respect that.

8. How do you support your partners when they’re experiencing tough emotions?

Listening. That's really the only answer. I can validate emotions, share my own experiences, things that help me - but my role is to listen and not fix.

9. What do you love most about your polycule or chosen family?

The support, watching everyone work on their self improvement and growth, getting to be a witness to everyone's journey's while I'm on my own.

10. What’s a misconception about polyamory that you wish people understood better?

It's NOT ALL TRIADS!

Spicy/More Personal (if comfort levels allow):

1. What’s your favorite way to connect physically with a partner?

Cuddling.

2. What’s your favorite memory of a shared experience with multiple partners?

Hubby and I shared a room at a resort with another couple we'd been friends with for years. While no romantic partners - the intimate friendship was there. It was a wild weekend and we all still talk and laugh about it.

3. What does compersion (happiness for a partner’s other relationships) look like for you?

Instead of feeling jealous or envy it's a literal sense of, "I want that for them!"

4. What’s something that excites you about group dynamics in polyamorous relationships?

First thought that came to mind was sitting between two partners and literally reaching up to stroke their beards simultaneously. Really, it's just the ability to show affection to multiple people at once in a variety of ways, doing what comes naturally and it not ending another relationship.

5. How do you approach intimacy in different types of relationships?

Depends on the individual and the relationship.

6. Do you have a go-to method for initiating deeper conversations with a partner?

"Hey, I want to talk about ____, do you have the spoons for that right now or can we schedule a time?"

7. What’s an act of affection that makes you feel loved and appreciated?

A message to let me know they're thinking about me and arranging for quality time, no matter how short.

8. What are your feelings on sharing space, like sleeping arrangements, with multiple partners?

My home is off limits (have a kiddo at home), but at an event, sleepover, resort etc. anything can happen. Just know that cuddle puddles get hot and uncomfortable and arrangements will change throughout the night. We're definitely more garden party poly, most of us share spaces outside of our homes.

9. What’s one boundary that’s especially important to you in your relationships?

Communication. Period. Don't assume, talk about it.

10. What’s something sexy you’d love to try in a group setting?

Nothing on my bucket list at the moment, but that could change.

This was fun. Thanks!

Polyamorous Ask Game

Light and Fun Questions:

If you could go on a date with any fictional character, who would it be and why?

What’s your favorite group activity to do with multiple partners?

What’s a dream vacation spot where you’d love to bring all your partners?

What’s the most unique date you've ever been on?

If your love life had a theme song, what would it be?

What's the most creative way you’ve celebrated an anniversary?

What’s your ideal day spent with one or more partners?

Do you prefer solo dates, double dates, or group hangouts?

What’s a hobby you’d love to introduce to one or more of your partners?

If you and your partners were superheroes, what would your team name be?

Thoughtful & Reflective Questions:

What does emotional intimacy mean to you in polyamory?

How do you manage jealousy when it comes up?

How do you prefer to communicate about boundaries in your relationships?

How has polyamory changed your perspective on love and relationships?

What’s your favorite part about being in multiple relationships?

What’s a challenge in polyamory that you didn’t expect but have learned to navigate?

How do you balance time between multiple partners and self-care?

How do you support your partners when they’re experiencing tough emotions?

What do you love most about your polycule or chosen family?

What’s a misconception about polyamory that you wish people understood better?

Spicy/More Personal (if comfort levels allow):

What’s your favorite way to connect physically with a partner?

What’s your favorite memory of a shared experience with multiple partners?

What does compersion (happiness for a partner’s other relationships) look like for you?

What’s something that excites you about group dynamics in polyamorous relationships?

How do you approach intimacy in different types of relationships?

Do you have a go-to method for initiating deeper conversations with a partner?

What’s an act of affection that makes you feel loved and appreciated?

What are your feelings on sharing space, like sleeping arrangements, with multiple partners?

What’s one boundary that’s especially important to you in your relationships?

What’s something sexy you’d love to try in a group setting?

[gorgojijijijito]

I've made it my entire personality at this point but with what I'm doing I can't really help it, being an aromantic trying to rewrite a romance is HARD oh my gosh. yes im a self shipper so im no stranger to creating 'romantic' scenarios, but those portrayals of it are only born from my complicated relationship towards platonic and romantic attraction and activity. i literally only do it because im touch starved and have trust issues and confuse that with a need for a romantic relationship. i still do it because it's fun and self-indulgent, but i know that it's going to become a big obstacle when writing scenes that are meant to appeal to alloromantic audiences in Bride of Discord. that being said, im begging you guys to hold me accountable if my input in my ramblings about it are skewed or innacurate. right now im just going off of my background knowledge for general healthy relationships.

With that out of the way, commence the rambling ig.

I think the biggest difference in the acts of love in Bride of Discord as opposed to one of the works it was inspired from, Disney's Beauty and the Beast, is that BOD's are all either transactional, or hammer in the subconscious knowledge that Fluttershy is trapped. I'll go through them one by one explaining my grievances in separate posts bc ive got a LOT to say.

First of all, our first exchange that parallels Beauty and the Beast; the circumstance of how Fluttershy/Belle came to be in the love interest's domain. This one is honestly the least offensive of them that I can think of as of now, but it still has uncomfortable elements. It largely mirrors the circumstance in Beauty and the Beast, however a forced marriage was in mind from the beginning. Fine, whatever, arranged marriage is a popular trope so I don't mind it as much.

I actually like how Fluttershy's view towards it is portrayed; she doesn't see happiness for herself in any path she takes in life, and that hopelessness she feels leads her to face her worst fear in the most head-on way possible. It feels in character for her, considering it's an act of kindness and sacrifice for Equestria, and for the mental state she's portrayed with for the prior episodes, giving up her freedom is, unfortunately, a common last resort people with depression may take in order to feel something at all. I wish the audiodrama leaned more into her mental health issues, it would have fit really well for the tone of the story and provide an interesting turn of character that we don't really look into much with a show as lighthearted and FIM. Maybe it's just me, but i love learning about and exploring stories that illustrate the ways environmental factors, be it your surroundings or peers, can influence the way you perceive yourself, others, and your purpose in life.

But nope. cant do anything interesting like that cuz discord's gotta be creepy and touch her and dote on her all the time. i get it, it can be cute for a shy character to get embarrassed for being praised, but that isn't what's happening in these scenes, as much as the drama wants to convince you it is. Discord is simply taking advantage of her vulnerability to attempt to woo her with no concern for her protests or consent, and it's extremely uncomfortable to watch. He never apologizes for it and never backs off, all it does is literally tire her out. there is no change in how he values her consent from when he returns and when she asks him to keep stroking her mane, she just feels more comfortable with it because she told him about the one time she got stood up. he doesn't respect her as a person with boundaries, he only hesitates because he's flustered that he's lost the intimidation he'd used in order to overpower her in the previous month.

I feel like it would be better if Discord uses the touching and complimenting to make her uncomfortable in the beginning bc, you know, hes a piece of shit before he gets to know her, but then, as he grows to see her as a person with her own right to agency and desires, he stops himself whenever he catches himself. When Fluttershy talks to him about the reason it made her uncomfortable, he directly apologizes for his overbearingness and actually SEES the error of his ways. THEEENnn we can gradually have fluttershy actually ASK to be touched and comforted when their relationship feels mutually transparent, as they feel no more need to feep up a front about their feelings for one-another.

[apompkwrites]

reader impact || first meetings: unreconciled stars

series masterlist characters: scaramouche, fischl, mona genre: fluff summary: a game has been released entitled genshin impact, consisting of otherworldly abilities relying on the basic elements of nature. the game follows the story of an interdimensional traveling twin in search of their other half. along this journey, they meet different characters that live in this world. including you. notes: i'm sorry fischl and mona's aren't that good :(( this is actually my first time writing for them but i hope you enjoy <33

scaramouche's playthrough -

oof scara

scara scara scara

this boy hates his chat and at this point they don't care.

it's not like he'll badmouth them, right?

think ludwig.

that's him.

he's a very angy boy please--

as for what he does?

much like childe he'd do a lot of pvp games.

he's not too keen on showing off his personal life.

he prefers that boundary between his viewers and himself, y'know?

he honestly doesn't even understand why his viewers like him.

he knows he's a mean person and yet here they are :/

he doesn't take requests from his viewers he just kinda plays whatever he wants.

imagine his viewers' surprise when they see him streaming genshin--

they asked why a lot.

"it seemed cool."

this man just wants to play some good ol' anime games.

his chat calls him soft and he just glares.

anyway now he's actually playing.

he's not really into mondstadt's characters they're all... okay to him.

he feels a bit better in liyue.

not because it's pretty oh no no no.

because look at all the enemies outside >:))

he'll clear the whole field don't test him.

anyway, now onto the unreconciled stars event :00

this man really doesn't like katheryne--

anyway at this point he's tasked with find fritz, which he doesn't really want to do.

he sees the dude on the ground but that's only after he sees someone standing next to him.

and then he sees someone standing next to him :0

"is the guy on the floor sleeping?"

"i believe so. i've tried everything, but he won't wake up."

he will pause to look at your outfit.

it's so complex but it's so cool!!!

his chat suspects something's up but... he'll just snap at them like he normally does.

but he'll silently admire you <3

also yOU'RE T I N Y ! !

and then paimon points out your clothes and the cameras pans up your body--

"heh... and by "this person over here," you mean me, right?"

he will choose the "those unique clothes are quite beautiful" option in a heartbeat.

he doesn't care that his chat is teasing him, he just wants you to know :))

he's kinda sad when you leave, though...

"please come back soon..."

his CHAT HAS NEVER SEEN HIM SO SOFT BEFORE

skip to a few events later when the constellation is revealed to be leonard's.

the sudden cutscene catches him off guard because he's prepared to fight someone.

"hi! sounds interesting... mind if i join you?"

he won't say anything but he will physically relax at the sight of you.

you make this man soft please--

he's lowkey angry when his character is teleported away from you :(

(name): the sixth of the eleven fatui harbingers

HYPEHYPEHYPE

YOU'RE SO COOL!

of course he doesn't say that but his chat can tell that's what he's thinking.

this man's eyes go wide when you order the fatui around.

please help he really likes you. you're so assertive and cute and cool and just AGH--

fischl's playthrough -

fischl can and will do cosplay streams.

her fans like to watch her because of the "character" she puts up for the camera.

honestly she just does this because she genuinely enjoys cosplaying and bringing characters to life.

oz is the nickname for her pet bird :))

she definitely gets a lot of trolls in her chat that make fun of her for her cosplays and "dumb" way of speaking.

in which case she'll just yell at them using her "dumb" way of speaking.

she really does care about how people see her but her chat comforts her a lot after, so she feels better after a few minutes :))

the games she plays are very fantasy based and take place in worlds that don't exist.

once she gets into a game, she'd pick her favorite character and cosplay as them everytime she streams that game.

sometimes she does sewing streams where she actually makes her own cosplay with her fans.

they like to make it with her if they have the materials :D

genshin impact was a game her fans recommended because they actually want to see fischl cosplay the characters.

they will beg her to do the cosplay creation on stream.

(they defintitely know who she'll choose to cosplay but it's fine)

when she reaches the unreconciled stars event, she's really excited to learn about the fated meteorite granting sleep upon touch.

she's ready to go around teyvat in search of an answer when...

"katheryne! vassal of the immernachtreich, do mine ears deceive me, or didst thou cry out mine holy name in earnest supplication not one moment ago?"

some of her chat is obviously confused by your speech but her long time viewers can understand some of it.

oz, who fischl had brought with her to play, seems excited to see your familiar flying to you :)

fischl is just as excited as he is!!

please you speak just like her and you're voice is so nice and it actually sounds like the developers put thought into what the speech would mean in "proper speech."

"a pleasure to meet you again, katheryne."

YOU'RE FAMILIAR IS JUST AS COOL AS YOU ARE!!

some of her viewers will beg for her to skip through your dialogue.

when she sees those comments, she will purposefully let your dialogue play out, proceed to read out that same dialogue, and respond to you as if she was actually talking to you.

not just to spite them but because it's also a lot of fun for her <3

"it would seem the gods have blessed us with meeting such a well-respected being!"

translation: she's really excited to have met you.

as soon as you spoke she decided she would cosplay as you.

she's already planning out all of the materials she'll need and how much time it would take.

if your familiar is a bird, you best bet oz will be in her photo shoots for your cosplay.

most of the time you're on screen, she'll talk to her viewers about you in her classic chuunibyou style <333

she's really sad when it's time for you to leave :(((

"... goodbye, fischl. you are a good listener. i enjoy chatting with you. to be honest, most of the other adventurers in the guild only ever talk to me when they wanna hear (familiar)'s reconnaissance reports... this little journey we had... it was a great adventure. i'm just sorry that is has to end so abruptly..."

she might cry wait--

she relates to you even more now :(

"ah! what am i doing? i totally broke form..."

you're too cute pleas--

mona's playthrough -

mona does a lot of nightly streams.

it's very rare for you to catch her streaming with daylight.

she likes to share things about astrology while sitting outside drinking something warm.

she'll do a lot of nightly gaming streams as well.

mainly calmer games that people can vibe to in the background.

she prefers to keep her streams lowkey and chill, much like the life she wants to lead.

if only she had the money to do so...

yes, mona is still struggling with money even as a streamer.

she greatly appreciates any donations her fans give to her because she practically relies on them to pay her rent and daily necessities.

of course, it's not like she's completely struggling, just enough to barely get her by.

anyway, her fans ask her about playing genshin impact, inticing her with their talk about the stars and night sky in the game.

she's the type of player to take her time in the environment and take a lot of pictures of her character at night.

she's actually really excited when she hears about this new event centering around the stars and sky :D

soon enough, she gets around to the part where she is need of an astrologist.

she's HYPED to hear there's an astrologist in the game.

"someone looking for me? who is it?"

she will squeal, please.

look at you!!!

your whole design has stars and is space-themed and you're so cute and you're voice is so soothing ! ! !

she really likes listening to you talk about astrology because your voice gets even softer than before.

that scene where you go to the cliff??

please she has that scene as her lockscreen <3

you just look so cool when you start to do your process.

you're so focused and the way they animate your process in the game is beautiful.

and then the fatui harbinger interrupts one of your meetings :00

you grab onto mona's character and teleport away in a cloud of stars and specks of your elemental vision.

she's kinda embarrassed when you scold her about getting involved with the harbinger--

but not only are you really cool and awesome, you're super strong, too!

please be sassy more she really likes how proud you sound :))

[mbti-notes]

Anon wrote: Hello, ENTP here. I fear I'm in a Fe loop and maybe a Si grip. I entered college and made friends with an ISFP and an INFJ. We're getting pretty close and we share a lot of ideas, but I can't trust them with myself. I'm afraid that once I show any sign of disagreeing with them, they will turn their back on me.

I know I'm being influenced by past experiences. I had friends that didn't respect my boundaries and expected me to be there for them all the time. For example, I'm not a touchy person, I dislike touching a lot. Those friends knew that because I explicitly stated that I hate being touched, yet at any given moment they would. I also couldn't talk about my problems or anything related to myself, they would interrupt me and talk only about themselves. I don't want to play victim here, they had their own issues, I don't blame them and I understand now that true friendship is different from whatever that was. I'm telling you this because it's important to know where this fear comes from.

Anyway, the things is that I don't know how I'm supposed to act around my new friends. I'm walking a line between trying to soften me up for the sake of their feelings and speaking about what I think, with the risk of hurting them. But I'm doing it all wrong. I'm starting to mirror their behavior and suppressing my opinions for their approval. Yet, I can't come up with a new strategy and can't help but being tied up to the past. I don't want to screw this up, they're different people and they don't deserve whatever was left of me. I fear I will become needy and repeat the same mistakes, ending up in self isolation. I'm not living up my full potential and I know it. How can I overcome this?

-------------------

Yes, you've got some Fe and Si problems. In a nutshell, you're behaving like a cheap imitation ISFJ. Trying to be something you're not is the road to self-destruction. Your past experience makes you believe that you have to twist yourself into some unrecognizable form in order to keep your friends. But when you take these kinds of shortcuts, you just end up sabotaging your intended goal. How can a friendship be healthy when people never get to see and know the real you? How can you be healthy when you constantly neglect your own needs and desires? How can you be open, trusting, and giving when you are always in fear of what might happen?

Why take a shortcut that does so much harm and actually leads you away from your intended goal? Because you lack the SKILLS to do otherwise, and this is related to poor Ti development. Ti development means building a proper understanding of how things work, as well as learning the skills that are necessary to navigate systems competently (in this case, how socializing works and how to socialize successfully). Immature Ti is very limited in its knowledge because it is far too small in its scope, basically only capable of seeing cause and effects at the most superficial of levels. For instance: "If I keep my mouth shut, I won't say the wrong thing and get rejected by my friends". This superficiality leads to adopting ineffective strategies.

It's good to be open and honest about your needs and desires. It's good to be respectful and considerate with other people's needs and desires. So, how do these two things meet up in a relationship? Is there really nothing at all in between the extremes of aggressively imposing your needs on others versus passively sitting in neglect of your own needs? The middle ground is found in assertiveness. In ENTPs, this involves exercising Ne adaptability and Ti strategic planning based on the facts.

Being assertive means taking the initiative to put yourself out there AND being responsive to what happens after you do. It's true that maybe not everyone can handle what you put out, but it's better to know than to wonder forever, isn't it? Wondering forever leads to you staying in relationships that aren't healthy for you. Once you know the facts, you can make a well-informed decision about what your next steps should be. Not every relationship will work out as you hope, and that should be okay, because there will always be more opportunities to come. This is what healthy Ne should tell you.

Socializing is an art, not a science, which implies that you have to be nimble and make sure that your expectations are realistic. There is no way to speak such that you never offend anyone. However, there is a way to speak your mind responsibly, and there is a way to be flexible and adjust your approach as necessary to mitigate negative reactions. To accomplish this, you need to do some skill building (for the sake of Ne+Ti development). The relationship related skills that you lack include:

optimism: seeing positive possibilities (not just negative ones) and believing that there will always be another opportunity (in the event that this particular one doesn't pan out)

presence: approaching new situations without past baggage

trust: giving people the benefit of the doubt

courage: the willingness to face up to truthful feedback

confidence: believing that you can handle whatever comes because you are committed to learning from your mistakes

assertiveness: being open and honest about yourself

communication: using respectful language to express opinions

conflict resolution: de-escalating tense situations

emotional intelligence: understanding how to navigate feelings and emotions that result from social interaction

impartial critical judgment: knowing when to persist (because there is potential for a better relationship) versus when to cut your losses (because the relationship is a lost cause)

Some of these topics have come up before, do a search. Also check out the book recs on the resources page. Yes, there is some pain in learning difficult skills, making mistakes, and changing the way you do things. But confronting your deficiencies is the road to realizing your potential. In the bigger picture, the pain of growth is less painful than living with loneliness or living in constant fear of abandonment.

[i-love-hobbies]

The biggest criticism Lilith's redemption arc gets and Eda's biggest strength

(ft. me getting completely side tracked and wanting a Hooty redemption arc)

Ok, so firstly I wanna talk about real life and then say how it was done in the owl house.

I hate the words "Everyone should get what they deserve." Cause firstly this never happens, secondly, the words are very vague and it opens a window of miscommunication and thirdly, cause in Lilith's case they are focused at, she needs to be hurt in order to change.

There are even people that have said that they are looking forward to watching Lilith suffer (I don't know if I've said it on the internet but I was one of them.)

Revenge has been proven to not make people feel better. And a lot of therapists usually say you need to forgive people. That doesn't mean fix the relationship, it means try to stop wishing they get hurt. Cause the feeling is only hurting you.

Also it's a normal human feeling to be angry, so no I'm not calling people monsters for this. And forgiveness is a hard process that takes a lot of work, but it usually isn't helped by hurting others.

The words people usually use to defend this sentence are:

"Consequences change people's minds or at the very least make them scared of doing it again."

Ok so how about we use this sentence instead, it's short enough and the main mission now is keeping ourselves safe Instead of it being hurting someone, you're still wishing it but it's not the main goal, it's a secondary one.

Well, cause it immediately shows two issues both statements have.

Firstly a friendship with someone that wants to hurt you but is scared of doing so is not a healthy one, cause they'll just try to be sneaky. You can only do it with people that aren't close to you like how the authorities do it towards criminals.

Secondly punishments rarely change people's minds. They've never worked on me, especially when you attack my identity, cause this way you make it even worse. And expecting that you can change someone usually means you're about to fail.

"But we can't get rid of punishments, people will hurt us."

I'm not saying we should. I'm saying our main goal should be our safety and hurting them may happen but it shouldn't be important.

Or better yet:

"Building healthy boundaries to the point where you're not getting hurt anymore, but not going overboard."

Examples:

- You have a friend you see Wednesday, Saturday and Sunday. But on Wednesdays, after work, they usually are very ignorant of your feelings and sometimes joke at your expense. So you stop going out at Wednesdays.

They might never ask why you did it and that's ok, cause you're not getting hurt anymore.

But usually they do ask why? You explain to them the issue with respect, don't call them names.

Some people will change after this and you can get rid of the boundary later on.

Other people may acknowledge this and say it's a good idea, cause they are overwhelmed, but never change.

Other other people may start hurting you even more. You build the boundaries even more, sometimes to the point you cut them out of your life, even if they weren't hurting you intentionally.

Which is completely ok if you can't maintain contact without being hurt.

- Eda's handling of Gwendolyn's cures is another good one. She never called her names or anything. She just made sure that Gwen can't hurt her anymore. Cause it wasn't only the cures. Eda's feelings were always getting ignored. She literally couldn't talk with her about anything other than the curse. Her emotions were getting neglected.

- Eda's handling of Tibbles is also an interesting example.

At first after the scamming she just left him. She couldn't see how he could hurt her.

And in episode 14 she killed him. Cause he showed that he would do anything to murder her dump kids and knew their address. Almost same story with Adegast.

Yes murder in this extreme cases can be a healthy boundary.

Lilith's relationships with the owl fam

King:

King didn't know Lilith was living with them and knows about her neglect.

Luz:

Luz would only stand up for others never for herself which is very unhealthy. I don't know if she forgave Lilith, but I can see her not mentioning it if she hasn't and playing along as a teacher.

"The real mystery is how she can be both so smart and yet so wrong at the same time. Academics, am I right?"

The closest one to her she has roasted like this, is her mentor, who firstly makes people feel safe.

"EDA, You're embarrassing me Infront of my crew." - Raine, after thirty years of not seeing her.

Secondly, she was being a jerk, she was teaching Luz about cards while she was begging for magic lessons and was not getting it for weeks.

"Cards, the paper rectangles that old people think are fun."

Heck, she might even be scared of Lilith. She almost got killed.

So far I don't have a reason to think she likes her. She hasn't really talked with her or about her much.

Eda:

Eda has already shown that she can handle conflicts in relationships. Like in episode 9, where she got Luz into Hexside and everything I already said.

I made an entire post about Eda being too emotional and I still stand by it, but serious situations that have to do with relationships, she usually is very rational and good at handling them. Probably because of the curse making her afraid of her anger and countless people attacking her.

At the beginning of the series Eda probably was expecting that the worst case scenario would be for Lilith to catch her and if Lilith isn't given the time to realise what she did, she'd be killed and best case scenario Lilith changes.

Episode 5, where Lilith burned down her wanted posters, episode 8 where Lilith was gonna get her straight in the coven instead of arresting her, episode 11, where Lilith said she wanted for Eda to join on her own and episode 17, where they played grudgby.

Proved to her even more that Lilith cares a lot for her and maybe she will change.

Then episode 18 happened and King wanting hugs and Luz's "Let me die!" Suddenly the worst case scenario became not her dieing but her dieing and the trauma the kids will experience. The fact that they won't have her in their lifes.

Lilith says "Then why were you so easy to curse?!?" This does not sound like "I accidentally did this and I'm sorry." No, Eda thought Lilith did this on purpose. And now her kids might get killed by her own sister cause she was too naive to trust her.

From now on I don't think she was trying to kill her cause Lilith isn't dangerous without raw power like Adegast and Tibbles, but to disable her is a possibility.

To add to this Eda wasn't rational almost throughout the entire finale. She probably didn't pick up on the line "If you would just let me explain." Just like she didn't question why Lilith was thrown in a cage.

Then she learns that Lilith commited treason together with her kids and started feeling like she doesn't know the full story, but Lilith is still a caring person. So she jumps Infront of the beam to save both Lilith and King.

Afterwards Lilith shares the curse and has nowhere to go if she gets kicked out so there is no reason to believe that she would hurt them physically.

I know in a post I said I don't think she fully processed the situation with Lilith. But now I think I was only half right.

She didn't fully process how much she was hurt but she understood Lilith's situation. Forgave her as soon as possible, not immediately. But that doesn't mean she rebuilded the relationship as soon as she forgave her.

First of, the forgiveness part happened after episode 1. The entire episode she was guilt tripping her, which I don't think was helping the situation. It makes Lilith more emotional which then makes it harder for her to face reality.

I'm not calling Eda a bad person for this but I do think it was a mistake.

What wasn't a mistake but a good thing is Eda wasn't the one to listen to her problems, it was Hooty. Cause her emotional health matters too and standing in one room with her sister is challenging.

And now I'm wondering does Eda know about how Lilith was treated by both the coven and their parents.

Eda calling Lilith a tool, seems to me more of them competing with each other rather than the recent events. Also Lilith forcing her rules without saying why they are there.

I'm glad the episode ended with them switching roles, where Lilith is now more powerful. Though I'm pretty sure the roles are getting switched again.

So what about the rebuilding of the relationship or should I say trust.

Well they didn't show us much, but I think the trust isn't fully back.

Cause she has only been proving that she can be physically trusted like when she saved King's life.

Eda never opens up, which is unhealthy. But in this case it's a healthy boundary, cause King did it and he got Lilith projecting onto him.

Lilith isn't good at being mentally supportive and still has bad habits.

Lulu and Hootsifer

Hooty helping Lilith was something, she really needed and didn't take for granted, cause the only one to ever even consider this is Eda.

They are buddies that look out for each other. I wouldn't say they talk a lot about feelings as they have no idea how to do that, but there are examples where they do.

Like "What kind of a witch am I?" and Hooty's letter.

Her letter for Hooty, was supportive, but ignored the issue of Hooty always being in people's personal space.

Which led to Hooty drugging Eda, kidnapping three children and almost killing said kids when his plans didn't work the way he wanted. He also ate the letter for King.

I want a Hooty redemption arc, now!

[ginkgomoon]

Shaw's Birth Chart- An Astrological Study

Late second birthday gift to Shaw. I haven't done any heavy analyses/studies in a while but I felt happy that I also completed some good solid Shaw content! Please enjoy. *Cries because it's finally done and before June is over.*

What is Astrology?

Astrology is the study of stars- the placements and movements of different celestial bodies to correlate what’s happening on Earth. It comes from the early Latin word astrologia.

There’s a rule that we live by-

As above so below

This means whatever happens within our solar system will ultimately affect us here on Earth. For example, the moon governs our emotions, and since our body is approximately 70% water, why wouldn’t the moon affect us too? But it’s not just us, it's the moon’s gravitational pull on the oceans, in the same sense, it’s also the moodiness you may feel during full moons!

There’s many aspects to Astrology, and that would normally be too much for a single post so I’ll be elaborating on the major contributions to one’s birth chart. This will include the planets and the signs.

There’s the inner planets, consisting of the Sun, Moon, Mercury, Mars and Venus, moving quickly within the chart. Then there’s the outer planets, Jupiter, Saturn, Neptune, Uranus and Pluto, the slower moving planets. And of course, the different signs of the zodiac with different personalities. They follow the order beginning with Aries, then Taurus, Gemini, Cancer, Leo, Virgo, Libra, Scorpio, Sagittarius, Capricorn, Aquarius and finally Pisces.

Shaw's Placements

Sun ☉ The Sun represents our character, personal identity and ego. Your star sign is also known as your Sun sign. It is the “you”. The “Self”. It shows your creative force, confidence, focus and our will to live. It’s the driving force of our charts in many ways, like how it is centred in our solar system. It’s the part of us that is the “adult”, censoring the “inner child”, and overall provides information on our vitality, and what we came to do.

Shaw's Sun is in Gemini ♊︎ The air sign of Gemini is famous for their self-expression and communication. Geminis are witty, clever and flexible people. They can easily gain social contacts just as they can easily adapt in various situations and communicate through intellectual conversations. Geminis love to collect and share all sorts of information and are rather seen to be “geniuses”.

Although, they can be easily bored if they’re not getting enough mental stimulation. Geminis with their abilities to detach themselves make them excellent observers, but this can make them very difficult to be close to and be intimate with. People note them to be confusing and hard to understand, but this is because their mind is always active and switching from one topic to another (as they are represented by “the Twins”). Geminis enjoy seeing the “lighter” side of life, making them more fun and pleasing to be around. It’s guaranteed that there is never a dull moment when you’re with a Gemini!

Shaw holds a good representation as a Gemini. He always has a witty remark to say to MC, has a way with words, is shown by how he reacts to “fight or flight” situations, and stresses the usage of his favourite word, “bored”. Shaw, by having this placement of the Sun in Gemini also gives much strength to his Mercury (the planet of communication) which is also in Gemini (more on this later).

Shaw: “What do people usually do during dates?”

MC: “Uh, it’s usually eating, shopping and watching movies.”

Shaw: “That’s too boring, isn’t it? Since it’s a date with you, I’d like to get your feedback. What would you like to do?”

MC: “Nothing else.”

Shaw: “Then, what do you want to do?”

He thought for a couple of seconds and raised his eyebrows slowly, with a hint of glimmer of dark light in his eyes.

“You'll agree to anything that I do…?” -One Day Date

MC: “Why did you suddenly take an interest in reading?”

Shaw: “For the final exam.”

Despite his concentration, he flipped the pages with incredible speed- it seemed as if he didn't like what he read. -Summer Night Birthday Date

Shaw values all forms of communication and self-expression, whether it would be through music, writing, and teaching others about ancient relics. Additionally, it appears that he enjoys a range of hobbies, such as playing the bass, skateboarding and spray-painting, due to his interest in the wide variety of passions he developed. MC notices this on one of her earliest dates with him.

MC: “Hey, you seem to have a wide range of hobbies.” -One Day Date

Moon ☾ The Moon in our charts shows what your home is like, your upbringing, the relationship between your mother, the unconscious, your instincts and what you need. It tells us a lot about a person’s emotions, how they deal with it and how they express it to others.

Shaw's Moon is in Capricorn ♑︎ Productivity, work, and feeling useful and respected are the basic need for Lunar Caps. They like to keep their emotions in check, as they want to maintain being the cool-headed, practical and steady person of any group and in any project. Moon in Capricorn suggests that they have clear boundaries and realistic kinds of goals, looking for reassurance and security in what they do. They value and respect tradition and all things tangible and real. Moon Caps look forward to working towards their distant future goals, planning one step at a time. When feeling moody, their emotions will emphasise the pressure they had already put on themselves. Additionally, this is why letting their guard down to be comforted and to be reminded that they are not alone is very beneficial. Capricorns are unwilling to stand down, especially when it comes to emotionally “letting go”, hiding their sensitivity under a sarcastic manner. Wherever Capricorn is found in the chart, there is a desire for control, structure, and organisation. Emotions are well dealt with and handled in an efficient and practical manner.

There is a certain mysteriousness and sadness behind Shaw that can be subtly detected and yet to further explore deeply. This might have come from past trauma, possibly related to family relations. He has realistic expectations and justifications for his emotions, and when it comes to his goals, he will utilise these to help him slowly achieve them. Shaw is slowly letting his guard around MC, and gradually allowing him to love.

MC: “How can you draw so well?” I murmured quietly, envying his skills which require much talent.

Shaw: “Is it good? In a few months, it will fade into obscure and worthless trash."

He glanced at the wall with an undisguised contempt, as if it was not his own work that he was judging.

“It’s a failure.” He shook a spray can and started spraying it on the wall.

MC: “Wait! Why are you doing this?”

Shaw did not avert his eyes, and stood with his arms folded, refusing to give in.

Shaw: “But it's flawed now.” -One-Day Date

After a few seconds of silence, he frowned and put everything in his arms back on the table except for a can of coke. “Don’t act like you know me so well.” -Exciting Moments Date

Perhaps it was because I didn't believe that Shaw would appear so calm or so still, or because I wanted to explore why he looked so focused, I also looked at him in silence.

Shaw: “You really like to immerse yourself in your past.”

MC: “Find strength through the memories, then grow and become stronger.” I suddenly recalled a line from a TV series, and read it out.

A flicker of doubt flashed through his eyes, and eventually condensed into a dismissive look.

Shaw: “Who told you that we can only become stronger with memories?”

MC: “Why are you so dismissive?”

Speaking of which, what made Shaw so strong if it’s not finding strength from his “memory” or “past”?

Shaw: Why are you telling me this? Reminiscing every day means you’re getting old.”

-

Rain started to shower from the gloomy sky. I looked up, and found that the dark clouds were only above this small area of filming location. It was actually very sunny over at the antique market.

Fortunately, the rain was not heavy, and was even getting lighter as he predicted. He pulled at his hair, shaking off the scattering beads of rain. Such serenity did not match my impression of him, yet it was unexpectedly harmonious and natural.

MC: “Are you the rain god? Why does it always rain when I'm out with you?”

Shaw: “It’s because I can control the weather.”

At this point, the rain, which had stopped just a short while, suddenly fell again, but more densely. The smirk on his face was not gone yet. The rain seemed to be getting heavier. I felt more saddened as he spoke, yet Shaw just laughed. -Seeking Date

As a Capricorn Moon, his value and respect for tradition, and in all things tangible is very much obvious, and is highlighted with his display of knowledge about historic relics in Loveland’s museum shown in various dates, being the only student in the Department of Archeology of in Loveland University, as well in this scene from Season 2 that I couldn’t bear to leave out.

Mercury ☿ Mercury is the communication planet. When you write, speak, absorb information and how rational we are, you’re using your Mercury. It refines our Sun sign and helps define how we take in and give out information. It also talks about short distance travelling, governing your thirst for knowledge, your wit and negotiating skills. If someone is an excellent talker, it’s thanks to their Mercury placements.

Shaw's Mercury in Gemini ♊︎ Since Mercury is already ruled by Gemini, which makes it a favourable placement for quick-witted communication. Gemini Mercury placements may come across as being scattered and restless, but this is because of their different interests, seemingly knowing a little bit about everything. They easily gain knowledge where all sorts of facts and figures are up their alley, however generally have too many interests to deeply delve all into one. They can thrive in a stimulating environment as they are fast adapters who effortlessly learn and multitask at lightning speed.

This overlaps with Shaw’s Gemini Sun Placement. He may confuse MC sometimes with his personality and wit, but it’s nice to see MC adapt to it as well, because they have a lot to learn and grow from each other. He encourages MC to live life more boldly, while she teaches him to take things slower and be more aware of how his emotions and thoughts should work in harmony under special circumstances.

“He has no problem with the noise from rehearsals, and yet he can't stop criticising me for being noisy. He gets easily bored by things and yet he never gets tired on aimless strolls. Moreover, he always disagrees with me…” -Exciting Moment Date

MC: “Are you doing something illegal?”

Shaw: “What do you think?” Shaw looked at me playfully, and I could not help taking a step back vigilantly.

MC: “I'm a good law-abiding citizen and I won't be your accomplice!”

Shaw: “That's not up to you.”

-

MC: “Oh no! What should we do, what if we get caught!”

Shaw: “Nothing. Having a date at the police station should be a good experience.” -One-Day Date

Additionally, those reoccurring moments when he says that he had changed his mind also stems from the “twinning” aspect of Gemini in his thought process.

Shaw: “Give the cake and forks to me.”

MC: “Didn’t you say you didn’t want it?”

Shaw: “I changed my mind.” -Exciting Moments Date

Venus ♀︎ The planet Venus is ultimately the planet of love, beauty, wealth, our material things and what we do with all that sort of jazz. It’s the pleasures, our sentiments, what we do for leisure and what we value. Grace, charm, creativity, and entertainment are ruled by Venus. We can use this planet to see how we approach relationships of the heart, investigate our ability to attract and the attraction to others (or things).

Shaw's Venus is in Cancer ♋︎ These kinds of people are quite sensitive and insecure when it comes to love, with egos perhaps said to be a little bit undeveloped but have so much love, comfort, security, and care to offer. These aspects are emphasised for Cancers, who pay more attention to your feelings rather than said words. All they want is a safe, solid and secure relationship. They can be moody when it comes to love, though they are not afraid of emotional confrontations and to put their emotions on display when feeling it’s safe.

But once they are hurt, they will have a hard time forgiving. Pleasing them will involve a lot of sentimentality, as recognising their influences and attachments are from the family and home. When fearful of being rejected, they can resort to some frustrating tactics to find out how loved they are. Venus Cancers will want to be cared for, and in return their partner will be rewarded with a loving, dependable and patient lover.

Shaw puts up a front with his teasing and seemingly lack of interest to attend events with MC, though we can tell that he’s a very thoughtful and intuitive lover. Once he has allowed himself to internally address his feelings, he will use straightforward methods in how he communicates it to MC, again, strengthened by his Gemini placements. Additionally, Cancers will cling onto something or someone that is of value to them, because it evokes memories and emotions. In the same sense, if there is someone that Shaw has his eye on, he will inch closer to them, and will be unwilling to give them up once he has them.

I tried to reach out and pull him down while watching out for him, but he just took me by surprise and grabbed my hand instead. I quickly pressed down my skirt with the other hand. Probably realising something, his amber eyes widened slightly, then let go of me, with a low “tsk”. -Seeking Date

Shaw: “Why can’t you let that go?”

MC: Because I'm sick of you treating me like this. One time, you waited for me to get to the Live House to tell me that there was a change in venue, and there was also this one time when you- achoo!”

I pulled my jacket tighter around myself. Suddenly there was a rustle above my head and I found myself covered in a warm coat. Shaw stood up without a word as if he didn't hear me. Clad in a white shirt, he looked at once familiar and strange from behind.

Then I noticed his hand in the pocket. I was expecting him to conjure something for me like he did last time with the Dragonfly Eye. Before I could react, Shaw suddenly grabbed me by hand. With no gloves on, he tightly wrapped his slender fingers around my palm. I felt an unexpectedly soft and warm sensation.

MC: “Let go of me!”

Shaw: “No, I don’t want to.”

-

Shaw: “You've been asking questions about me all day. Do you really want to get to know me? Bring your ear closer. I can tell you all about myself.”

-Exciting Moments Date

His hand flew past my face and landed on the back of my head. With a slight jerk, he pulled me toward him. Our foreheads were then pressed together, and I felt the warmth of his forehead resting on mine, my breath on my skin, his unintentional touch, and his body pressed against mine. -Summer Night Birthday Date

“Do you like me? Yes or no?” -Unanswered Phone Call

Mars ♂︎ Mars is the go-getter planet. Full of fire and passion, nothing would be done without it. It can give insights on how we can chase our goals and what our desires and our plans of attack are. Aggressive behaviour, lust and anger fall under this planet.

Shaw's Mars is in Libra ♎︎ Mars Libras often reflect about the things they do before they act, needing to weigh out all the decisions first. They also can get easily caught up in defending themselves and others, as well as charming others to win others’ favour if needed. They wish to not be disturbed in their life or how they “operate”, going about with the desire to balance everything, with almost having a seemingly passive-aggressive approach to situations. Mars Libras know when to compromise and manage conflict, as well as predicting problems and discord well in advance. Libras will question themselves on how they can make the playing field more fair, intervening when necessary and when things aren’t. Shaw demonstrates this during his bus stop intervention when he first meets MC, on his dates with her, as well as his confrontation with Gavin.

“Don’t hesitate if you have already thought it through.”

-

MC: “What’s the matter?”

Shaw shrugged, lifted the corner of his lip, and looked at me, saying this firmly word by word.

Shaw: “Don’t forget that this is our punishment. Be a good loser.” -One-Day Date

“What are you laughing at? Stop it.” he reached out his hand, trying to mess up my hair. I quickly dodged backward and started laughing harder.

“Hey.”

A stunned look flashed Shaw’s eyes. Before he finished his sentence, I slipped and fell heavily backwards. He looked at me before a hint of schadenfreude appeared in his eyes. Then he said in a raised tone, “that's what you get for laughing too hard.”

He then sat down with me. I turned to him in confusion.

MC: “Why did you sit down when you’re supposed to help me up?”

Shaw: “Because I wanted to.” -Exciting Moments Date

Brutal gales whipped up gravel and rocked trees. A bolt of lightning split the sly, illuminating the two people locked in a standoff.

Gavin’s face was completely devoid of its former calm, and in its place was wrath. The man opposite Gavin squinted his eyes ever so slightly. He went wild with laughter, and an arrogant expression swept back over his face.

Shaw: “Well, we’re finally starting to get serious. It’s about time.”

Gavin: “I warned you! She’s off-limits.”

Shaw: “Are you threatening me?”

Gavin: “You aren’t worthy.”

The man lifted his eyebrow and slowed his speech purposefully.

Shaw: “Anyway, my objective has been reached. I don’t mind toying with you. But I don't know how long this girl you’re obsessed with has long to live...”

The two fought with increasing ferocity. The man was slowly losing ground. Then, the sky roared, and a white flame connected heaven and earth. The man was gone without a trace. -Chapter 11-24

Jupiter ♃ Jupiter is the largest planet, a gas giant, known to expand as the “benefactor” of our solar system. Everything it touches is basically blessed. It’s the good luck, confidence, joy, freedom and adventure that it gives to one’s being that it’s so well known for. Jupiter is where you seize your opportunities, take a leap of faith and count your blessings.

Shaw’s Jupiter is in Aquarius ♒︎ Shaw attracts the most good fortune when he’s tolerant and fair, cooperative and inventive, being different from society’s norms and standards. He values technology, people and personal freedom the most, desiring to display his unique skills and talents. He is open to new methods and eccentric ways to progress. We see this as he’s willing to share his knowledge with others, shown in the CN Creative Date and Summer Solstice Date, and when Shaw offers a hand to help MC by making her alias “Mary Sue” to help her successfully break into STF in later chapters. He also shows her the electricity firework he makes with his Evol, which fascinates MC enough for her to reach out and touch it.

I looked at Shaw's on the other side of the wall. The flaunting design was imposing, as if it was about to jump out at me the next second. Then I looked at my grinning rabbit, which seemed to be the clumsy work of a child.

-

In the gold and purple pattern, “SHAW” could be faintly recognised while a grinning rabbit stood at the top of the world. They actually seemed… quite in harmony? -One-Day Date

MC: “Is that the same MP4 player you had on the bus?”

Shaw: “Yes, someone gifted it to me a long time ago.” Emboldened by his straightforwardness, I couldn't help but move slower. -Exciting Moments Date

Floating on his palm was a sizzling firework giving off dazzling sparks. I was stunned by the sight. I couldn’t believe that Evol could do that. I reached out to touch it, but Shaw stopped me.

“Are you out of your mind? It’s charged with electricity.” -Summer Night Birthday Date

Saturn ♄ Saturn is the planet of karma, restrictions, life lessons, hard facts and the challenges in life. It governs structure, our fears, work and self-discipline. Saturn is cold and calculating, however once the challenges and lessons Saturn have been mastered, great wisdom with great rewards can be obtained.

Shaw's Saturn is in Aries ♈︎ Aries Saturns are highly resourceful coming up with fresh ideas for our goals. They don’t like showing weakness and need to be careful when limiting themselves due to fear of failure or making a poor decision. They’re very self- reliant because they rarely ask for help. They need to be shown that not “being first” is okay.

It’s proven that Shaw has a competitive side to him, seen in the CN Summer Solstice Date and his Rumours and Secrets, where Shaw refuses to give up and ends up doing dolphin flips on his skateboard in a match against a senior and wins after his first loss. In Accompanying Date, he acknowledges his embarrassing moments when he got caught skipping class, then reflects on them. We also see this as he flees his battle with Gavin when he almost loses.

Shaw: "I just remember winning. Don’t people at ten years old want to get swept away, win against everyone, and leave them far behind?" -CN Summer Solstice Date

Shaw: "The fence of the school was disagreed with by the elementary students. Back then, my skills weren’t refined yet. I got discovered by a teacher when I fell from it." While reminiscing, Shaw pouts unhappily. -CN Accompanying Date

The two fought with increasing ferocity. The man was slowly losing ground. Then, the sky roared, and a white flame connected heaven and earth. The man was gone without a trace. -Chapter 11-24

Uranus ♅ Wherever Uranus is in the chart, it’s where we want to break free, where we want to do things our own way, when you don’t care what everyone else is doing or thinking about. It’s where we express our ideals on freedom, innovation and experience great epiphanies. We strive for independence with the influence of the Uranus character. As a result, we learn to rebel, break traditions and authority. It shakes things up from our past and into the modern future. It is often associated with unpredictability, chaos and anarchy.

Shaw's Uranus is in Aquarius ♒︎ These people are interested in innovating, changing and updating traditions related to technology, community and individuality. They see freedom through or in these areas, and are ready to rebel if needed. Aquarius Uranus people are open to new ideas and free thought.

Shaw is no stranger to the concept of rebellion. He sneaks into places he shouldn’t be in, spray-paints graffiti, and helps MC access top-secret information in STF. His comments on history further outlines the unique outlook that he challenges with traditional views.

I looked around nervously, remembering that last time, we were chased by city police for street graffiti.

Shaw: “Don’t you want to come? Hurry up.”

MC: “Do you just do anything you like? Do you abide by no rules?” -One-Day Date

Shaw: “What do you think history is?” Student: Those historical relics you told us about just then!”

- Student: “If everything is history, how does one learn it?” Shaw: “There’s no need for an intention. It’s everywhere.” -CN Summer Solstice Date

Neptune ♆ Neptune is the inspirational planet of dreams, inspirations, soulmates, enlightenment and sacrifice. It’s all about connection with the universe and the world around you, however can have the polar effect of deception and illusion, along with disappearances of sorts. It can also govern your music tastes and influence on how you can inspire others.

Shaw’s Neptune is in Capricorn ♑︎ With this placement, his idealistic world will be based around realism, morality, and responsibility. He has to believe in the ground foundations of realisability of his dreams- enough so that it usually has a realistic thread about them. General optimism and faith will be lacking if he’s not doing something that he is passionate about and finds inspiration in. However, he has the capacity to change his practical dreams into reality the most. His influences and contributions come from his connection with Dark/MC, again with Mars in Libra, and is seen as a guide and spectator, though less passive than a Time Observer. It’s also clear that Shaw cares a lot for his music and his band. He even recognises a plagiarised song in one of his Rumours and Secrets.

“Playing with the band is just a hobby, so Shaw rarely creates something from scratch. He must have hidden things he wanted to say in his music, but never mentioned it to anyone.” -Summer Night birthday Date

Shaw: "No wonder these people didn’t realise it, they copied an unpopular song from the 80s. You should also improve your musical literacy so you wouldn’t be confused by these things." -CN Glacier Navigation Rumours and Secrets

My phone started buzzing in my outer coat pocket. I took it out and saw an unfamiliar number. A few moments of hesitation, I answered it. An unfamiliar voice came from the other end.

“Long time, no see. I’m sure you’re trying to guess who I am right now.” There was something in his voice that gave me a sense of déjà vu.

MC: “May I ask, what this is about?”

“I can’t just call you for no reason? Everyone has already forgotten you. You are officially someone who shouldn’t exist in this world.

MC: “Impossible! Just who are you, anyway?”

“Go see for yourself. For instance, at the place where it all started.” -Chapter 19-1

Outside the floor to ceiling window, a tall man with light purple hair was looking at me in the eye, an unmistakable smile on his lips. Who is this person? He waved at me and strove in the diner.

“Oh, here you are.” He greeted me with such familiarity, a few loose strands of hair fell over his forehead, softening his sharp eyes. His actions were swift and sure, giving me no time to interrupt. His face seemed so familiar but I can’t remember where I’ve seen it before.

MC: “Who are you?”

Hearing this, the young man’s brow raised, and the look of amusement flashed over his eyes.

“You don’t remember? You bumped my skateboard.”

MC: “Oh! We met on the bus. But how is it that you remember me?”

He didn’t answer me straight away. He just observed my expression with great interest, seemingly enjoying watching my reaction.

“I’m the one who called you. It’s me. The dream world has no effect on me.”

Pluto ♇ Pluto is the Lord of the Underworld, and is not to be messed around with. It’s responsible for great destructible transformations and corresponds to the life, death and rebirth cycle. It’s the detoxing planet, for you to awaken and be reborn. It shows us where we can change the world, alongside right where we can go into the abyss of the cunning and controlling energies of Pluto. Its powers can be ever so subtle, however it can have the forces to trash you with the realisations of what you need to let go in order to transform. Think of it as the “healing crisis” moments that you can thank Pluto for.

Shaw's Pluto is in Sagittarius ♐︎ They take beliefs and philosophy of life very seriously, more than most. They believe deeply in personal freedom and expression, questioning ideologies in place. They often watch for a tendency to move from one project to another, perhaps due to inhuman expectations. They are motivated and driven by the vision of a better world, therefore their faith in humanity is strong.

Shaw helps MC multiple times when she is in need, additionally supporting her beliefs and vision to save the world and everyone in it, like when she first entered the Winter World and helped her rescue the kidnapped children against her battle with Leto in the Chapter 34. He even gives her his necklace- the Dragonfly Eye in the end of Season 1 and wishes her well once they meet again.

Shaw: “Oh yeah, the other you is really funny. Today, she saved someone on the street. Did you use to do stuff like that too?”

Dark MC: “I’m not like her. I don’t do meaningless things like that. Stick to the plan.”

Shaw: “Oh? I’d thought you’d like this scene. What are you planning to do, anyway?”

Dark MC: “Why of course, I’m going to accept my place as QUEEN.” -Behind the Curtain Chapter 5

MC: “Shaw, what are you doing here? Where’s Leto?”

Another thunder flashes, Shaw’s face was reflected clearly and I saw him lift his eyebrow slightly.

Shaw: “You are so slow. Did you bring the notebook? Keep it and give it to me later.”

MC: “You haven’t answered why you are here.”

Shaw: “And I thought you were starting to get smarter. None of us can stay out of it now. If I don’t intervene, this world is finished.”

I would love to see more about Shaw’s background character and his upbringing as to why he had appeared a bit defensive in some dates. Poor Shaw :( Hopefully this study allowed you all to gain a deeper understanding of Shaw and his character, and to why he’s important in the main storyline and other events alike.

[sk-lumen]

Need serious advice about setting boundaries or communicating when dealing with a person who:

Is a parent

Has unhealthy communication methods -- it takes very little for them to start full-blown screaming, shouting out all your 'negative' things/mistakes/past, can continue to scream-criticise you even after you've gone silent, for WHOLE MINUTES even if you've shut up, will not accept anything that even hints at them making a mistake

You can't trust since childhood coz u made the mistake of confiding in them with a serious issue as a young teen --- mental related --- and they belittled and invalidated you, and since then pretended you never confided in them and have NO IDEA how you've been coping without them or ANYone else for years... Yeah thanks, parent, what u said back then made me think I was the one at fault and so I stopped trusting even friends coz yeah, when ur own parent doesn't give a damn, why would anyone else?

Is a master at silent treatments without explaining what EXACTLY they're punishing you for, then when theyre in the mood, will start talking to you as if they hadn't ignored you for days. Lol I'd rather be water boarded I think. Especially for all the damage this caused when I was a child

Won't openly talk about what they want, yet expects ALL FHE TIME others (in the family) to know what they want, then will complain/scream/angry for AGES about how no one cares, no one gives a damn... And when someone asks them what they want, they either say: nothing, or "you should know! Can't u see?"

Upon asking them to please talk normally, will blow a fuse, and lose it --- happened multiple times today

Literally will use me as a scape goat to unleash their frustrations upon. Even when I leave the room, I can hear them b*tch about how much of a failure I am etc. The trigger being anything that bothers them, from a phone call to something other siblings did, bla bla. I limit my time with them... But it's like, it feels impossible to have them treat me normally, without ridiculing or criticising me. I'm already a very low self esteem person... This doesn't help AT ALL

In short, refuse to tell/ask/discuss important stuff, and getting mad randomly that no one read their mind, bcoz everyone's 'old enough to have enough sense' to know what they 'should' do... Eg will not pikc up the phone when we call them from the store to ask when what the needed isn't available, so what other alternative can we get... And then when we get home, will instead blame us for being fussy and not getting the alternative, completelt skirting around the issue they didn't deign to pick up the phone... I mean, I don't get it. In the past I HAVE in fact asked them to just openly tell me what they want/expect from me to make them happy... Got passive aggressive answers like "don't you know? Are you dumb?" Bla bla

Passive aggressive to the max when they've lost it

Expect me to drop anything I'm doing and immediately cater to them, and expect me to help them in their hobbies (while simultaneously, as I learned many years ago to much heartache, not being interested or even pretending to be interested in my hobbies. The disinterest taught me very quickly how much what I wanted meant, leading to years of self-invalidation. Luckily I've learned it really is them, not me. My hobbies are valid)

Will not talk about why they're feeling angry, what causes it. Instead will blame me, who's like the golden scapegoat in our amazing family, by saying :YOU made me negative. They've said it many times now... It hurts a lot, when I'm also struggling with my own issues which I ofc can't confide in them about :)

Today I manned up -- the outburst of hatred happened again! Over a simple thing. It was NIGHTMARE and made me angry/sad/frustrated/triggered---, and so I told them to stop talking like that... Boy was that the wrong thing to say... I don't think I can accurately tell u what happened afterwards...

Usually children learn communication skills from the parents... I at least learned to recognize the unhealthy ones, and what NOT to communicate like lol. Like, other parent is even worse, believe it or not. But that's another complex situation

I'm not bashing on the parent. Lord knows I even have that much of a right huh? I hate myself eveb more when they invalidate me if I try to show how MUCH THEY HURT me after a 'communication session'. As in, heaven forbid me if I BE SILENT afterwards and DON'T wanna listen to their retardation. Nope. Even then they provoke me, rage at me, you know how sometimes enraged people hiss vitriol thru gritted teeth? Yeah, that's what they did today after I stayed silent and tried to ignore them an hour later after the 'session' when they wabted something. It's like they don't even need me to say a word and will carry on and on for minutes 🤢

I feel alone, helpless and at a loss what to do

I want to move out. Due to severe mental issues I can't even move out rn coz it scares me even more. But this has to stop. Things are only okay if I'm absolutely passive, say yes to whatever they want, kill my wants and needs, and become a perfect robot bred to cater to them (parent)

I hope you can help me out, dear

Hi darling,

It sounds like you’re in a considerably toxic environment. I'm sorry you're going through this. Know that this is not normal, nor is it how a parent/child relationship should be. In case there's any doubt, let me start by saying you deserve to be supported, respected, listened to, to have your needs met. You deserve to live in an environment that offers you all of these things.

With that being said, from the many scenarios you’ve mentioned you’ve already tried reasoning and setting boundaries, to no avail. There is only so much you can do on your own, if the other person in the equation is not meeting halfway or at all. After all, a healthy conversation involves two people, not just one.

Here's my advice, in this order:

Calmly and maturely asking the respective parent to have a serious discussion with you and to listen to what you have to say. Share how their actions and behaviour is making you feel, let them know you care, and make sure to mention several solutions for the issue as well. If this doesn’t work…

Bring up the subject of needing help from outside, such as the assistance of a specialist/therapist. Family counselling can shed a lot of light on toxic behaviours that are ingrained from childhood (both in their case and yours), on fears your parent may have, stress from their work, whatever is causing their outbursts and anger - because there is always a reason. Behind anger is sadness, and behind sadness is some need not being met, or an underlying fear, trauma, etc. This is not a justification for their behaviour, they are responsible for it; this is simply the fact of how energy dynamics work. People bottle up their frustrations, fears, etc, and let them out on those closest to them, to whom they feel superior. It’s not fair, and it’s not healthy, but it is frequently how this pattern works. If this solution doesn’t work either…

Then unfortunately, all you can do is focus on yourself. If they refuse to meet you anywhere along the road, you have to pack up your things and go your own way. Literally or metaphorically. They may be your parent and you may love them even in spite of their behaviour, but you cannot hold yourself responsible for anything they say or do; that is on them. In those cases, you have to prioritize your own mental health and wellbeing, and focus on moving out. If your (home) environment is toxic, you have to focus on first changing it. That’s vital. Only afterwards can you start healing, refinding yourself, reclaiming your self-esteem and confidence, your sense of worth. As long as you stay stuck in a toxic environment, you cannot really heal; if there is abuse of any kind (physical, mental, emotional), the causes are still there, leading to re-traumatizing.

If for whatever reason moving out is not (yet) an option, I would emphasize seeking some sort of counselling for yourself, if nothing else. You need an anchor, some sort of support that will help you along your path until you do get out.

Now, I don’t know how old you are. I am going to assume you are over 18 and of age, so only mind my advice if that is the case. (As disclaimer, I don't provide advice to minors as it's not the scope of my blog nor am I specialized/focused on that area.)

I understand moving out seems scary because it is unknown, but with that line of thought you may wait another 10 years in the same situation. Wouldn’t you wake up 10 years later already having done the hard work on moving out, finding your independence, claiming your sense of individuality and moving on from this sort of environment, this phase in your life?

Sooner is better than later, but do so with mindfulness and care over your mental health, of course. I know it’s scary. But being an adult requires some difficult decisions at times, and setting boundaries begins with choosing your wellbeing and doing what needs to be done, even if it is something uncomfortable short-term, but highly rewarding and beneficial long-term.

Hope this helps... and wishing you much luck, clarity, gentle guidance and comfort.✨

PS: Lately I've been receiving longer and longer letters in my inbox. As solution, I was thinking of having longer asks/letters redirected to my blog where there isn't any length limit, and readers can more comfortably browse both my tumblr and blog - and those requesting advice can share and receive a more in-depth response.

-Lumen

[miriossunshine]

Hi! I love match ups and saw yours from a moot so I thought to pop in and request one if that's ok

I'm straight so I would like a match up with a male Pro Hero, please (I'm 21, three weeks to 22, btw)

I am an introvert, I rely a lot on my feelings and am loyal to those who've earned my trust. I am a very private person, so at first I can be distantly polite and cold, but I am awkward and can get easily anxious so some people think I am condescending. However, I am quite goofy and cuddly with the closest to me.

I like reading, watching anime, dancing and lip syncing at 3 a.m to whatever I feel like, from anime songs to cumbias and bachata and everything in between 🤷🏻‍♀️ I also collect clothing's tags

A lot of my favorite things are stuff that make me feel safe and comfortable (like the color pink, dogs, and shows like Inuyasha, Sinbad, and other animated movies) so I look for that in a relationship, someone that actually listens to me and what I like and dislike, and makes the effort to help me feel at peace. I also need time on my own to process my emotions and thoughts before sharing them with my partner, I hate being rushed or pushed into anything. I like to think of my self as a dog person with a cat personality.

I am also the eldest of three daughters, so I've been neglected by my parent and forced to grow up and mature too soon in order to care for the others, the expectations pretty much drove me to a lot of insecurities and feelings of inadequacy, so I would like someone who doesn't try to change me and accepts me, but that understands that if I'm down or depressed it's not their fault.

I am a great listener and soft, so comforting hugs are my specialty, I always think first in my partner's wants and needs before mine.

Also, I've always felt left out, I'd like to belong with and to someone, so if my partner is a bit possessive it would make me feel assured in the relationship.

That's it, I believe, I tried to be detailed like you asked but idk if it was too much, sorry.

Hope you have a wonderful week, please take care of yourself and remember to stay hydrated. Thank you so much in advance!

of course!! you did great thank u sm for requesting!!! ^w^ 💞💞

i ship you with:

𝐟𝐚𝐭𝐠𝐮𝐦!

taishiro is very respectful of your boundaries upon first meeting you, but he knew there was a soft side hidden under your distant/cold outward nature! he was determined to get close to you because you intrigued him so much💕

he was built for cuddles!! he loves that you adore him in all forms, fat or not, but he’ll usually activate his quirk when you’re feeling especially snuggly so that you get the best cuddle experience 😤💗💗💗💗 hehe

you guys are such a cute and goofy couple, taishiro loves how active you are even at 3 am, and joins you in dancing to your favorite music!!! (pls teach him bachata, he’s got the hips for it i promise hehe)

he’s such a good listener!! he loves learning about your interests, what makes you feel safe. taishiro himself becomes one of those safety nets for you, he always makes sure that you know you can talk to him about anything and he’ll always listen and comfort you. ｡ﾟ(ﾟ´ω`ﾟ)ﾟ｡

when you tell him about your past he is filled with mixed emotions; anger at your parents, sadness for you and what you had to endure. taishiro is a patient and understanding person, and not a bone in his body would want to change you! he understands when you need a few moments or even a whole day to yourself, and he never takes it personally! 💕 he always reminds you how important and special you are to him, to combat your feelings of inadequacy. he loves you so much and he always wants you to feel safe and comfortable when you’re with him (*´ω｀*)

i can see you guys fostering dogs together and eventually adopting a puppy!! 💕💕💕💕😭 he’d be such a good dog dad omg

taishiro loves watching your favorite shows with you, preparing snacks and a blanket fort for the ultimate watch party!! \(//∇//)\

everyone loves the two of you together, you guys give the best hugs! you and taishiro don’t even need to speak when you’ve had a bad day, as you’ll likely just snuggle into the other’s arms and lay there for a while to wash away whatever happened that bothered you. <333 when you look sad, taishiro silently holds his arms out for you to hug him and he holds you tightly to his chest ｡ﾟ(ﾟ´Д｀ﾟ)ﾟ｡ 💞

he’s a protective partner, being a pro hero comes with that. he’s always checking on you and making sure you’re safe and comfortable at all times. 💗

[renaerys]

I know in BTM the guys are estranged at the moment (*tear*) but in the sequel as they start to repair their relationship will the apologies be from all of them? I know that in BTM it ended with Brick causing a lot of emotional damage which he did need to apologize for however imo I feel like all of them owe each other an apology. It's obvious they don't get each other and there's been underlying tension brewing for years. Boomer and Butch don't get that Brick wasn't controlling all the time because he necessarily wanted to be but because he had to in order to ensure their survival. They're products of shit parenting and because of it the oldest sibling had to step up and become an adult way before his time. As as result he wasn't there for his brother's the way they needed. He supported them financially but was never there emotionally. He was dismissive of their feelings and internal struggles. Basically miscommunication from all ends. Brick doesn't get his brothers and they don't get him. I know in the sequel after all the angst and tension dissipates they'll have that hallmark worthy reconciliation we all can't wait for but what I'm hoping is that in the uncomfortable conversation that needs to had. Not only are the apologies coming from all of them because they all owe each other that(though it mostly should come from their "parent") but most importantly they at the end they come out of it with an actual understanding of each other and a real brotherhood with no toxicity or lack of boundaries running rampant. Love your work. Looking forward to the sequel. I had to get this out because it was a nagging thought in the back of my mind for awhile now.

Thank you so much for reading Beyond This Morning! I’m always delighted to hear from readers. This is going to be a long answer, but it’s extremely important to me that these points make sense and are heard. You’re right that the brothers’ relationship will be more of a focus in the sequel. However, I want to be clear: Butch and Boomer do not owe Brick anything, not an apology and not their forgiveness. I think you may have missed some of the point of the emotional climax of BTM, so I’ll try to explain it here.

“Boomer and Butch don't get that Brick wasn't controlling all the time because he necessarily wanted to be but because he had to [sic] in order to ensure their survival.”

That’s not true. In Chapter 14, Boomer admits in his POV that he understands exactly why Brick did what he did, and how he will always be grateful for the sacrifices he made. That’s not at issue. What is at issue is Brick’s subsequent treatment of his brothers over the years since they left Mojo’s care. It was Brick’s choice to be a controlling asshole, just as much as it could have been his choice not to be that way. For example, Boomer flat out tells him that four years ago, he didn’t need Brick’s money, he needed emotional support and understanding when he was going through a difficult time after breaking up with Bubbles. But Brick never asked what Boomer wanted four years ago, or even what really happened. Instead, he threw money at him and threw a tantrum, and Boomer realized that there was no way he could leave Brick because Brick was no good on his own. This is emotional manipulation by a person with more power and authority in the relationship (Brick) at a time when the party with less power (Boomer) was in an emotionally and financially vulnerable place. That was all Brick’s choice to make, which you can piece together through the various hints and foreshadowing through the fic up until that confrontation in Chapter 14. It was also Boomer’s choice to stay because, and this is a little fucked up but realistic imo, Boomer loves his brother and let that behavior slide at the time for the sake of preserving the relationship. But the confrontation in Chapter 14 is the breaking point when Boomer has had enough and will no longer put up with Brick’s toxic behavior. 

By contrast, another choice Brick makes is to let Butch leave Townsville to join the military overseas. Butch talks to Buttercup about this in Chapter 8 when they are talking about what it means to be a leader. Letting Butch go was a choice Brick made because, as Butch tells Buttercup outright, they both knew Butch would never learn unless he experienced leading and failing himself. This too is a type of manipulation by Brick, but like Boomer in the above example, it’s a manipulation Butch fully understood and went along with to get what he wanted and needed. And of course, Butch comes back in the end because he was always going to come back. That’s the relationship the brothers have, for better and for worse. They stick together. Brick demands blind loyalty from both of them, as Boomer said, and yet he manipulates and controls them to his own ends. Sure, he does this out of a sense of love and loyalty himself, but it is grossly misguided and often executed for the wrong reasons.

“They're products of shit parenting and because of it the oldest sibling had to step up and become an adult way before his time. As [sic] as a result he wasn't there for his brother's [sic] the way they needed. He supported them financially but was never there emotionally. He was dismissive of their feelings and internal struggles.”

You’re right about Brick’s behavior here, but not for the reasons you stated. When Brick got them out of Mojo’s house when they were 16? Yeah, that was him making a difficult choice to ensure his brothers’ survival, using the tools he had at the time and doing what he thought was the best thing he could have done. Boomer explicitly tells the reader how he and Butch understand that sacrifice, how they are grateful for it, and how they will never forget the solid Brick did them for as long as they live. But that is the past. None of it excuses or absolves Brick’s subsequent behavior up until the present, which included controlling, manipulating, and being emotionally unavailable to his brothers and to pretty much everyone else. Having shitty parents may explain, but in no way excuses, absolves, or forgives a person’s terrible treatment of others. That kind of thinking harms real life people who are the victims of this type of toxic treatment. I made an effort in BTM to call this out. I will make an effort in the sequel to show how people who genuinely want to make positive changes in their lives might go about doing that.

Brick’s shitty treatment of his brothers is not the product of a “miscommunication from all ends”. It is squarely a product of his own bad choices, which are informed but in no way excused by his troubled upbringing. In the sequel, I will examine the steps Brick chooses to take to make positive changes in his life. I will show how his brothers react to that effort he makes, and how it might improve their opinion of him. But I will also be extremely clear that they are under no obligation to forgive him, and how that has nothing to do with Brick’s decision to try to be better anyway because that is what it means to grow and be a good person. I think Brick as he will appear in the sequel does deserve empathy, patience, and understanding for the work he does on himself, and I am interested in showing that journey for him as he rebuilds his support system. Many people who put in the effort to be a better person deserve that chance to build new relationships and move forward. But they are not entitled to the forgiveness of their past victims, no matter how much progress they make. 

All that said, I am very glad you sent me this Ask. I suspect that there are others with similar views or questions that were raised here, and it’s very important to me that you all understand the type of story I’m telling. There are a lot of stories out there that do apologize for Brick’s shitty behavior, that ignore it, that even romanticize or glorify it. And yeah, they’re just stories and people can write what they want. I’m not here to police anyone or ruin their fun. But stories don’t exist in a vacuum, and media and culture are reflections that inform and influence each other. For me and my fics specifically, it’s important to me that I do my best to tell a story that calls out bad behavior unequivocally and holds that behavior accountable, even if the character exhibiting that bad behavior is the hot, cool love interest. Perhaps even more so because of that, since that’s a Venn diagram with a lot of crossover in general. I do not think I’ve done a perfect job, far from it. I don’t think I haven’t made mistakes (I know I have). But I work closely with my beta, I talk to other writers whose work I admire, and I listen to smart, feminist people whose opinions I respect. I use everything I glean from them to try to write a story that is sensitive to these types of topics. I’ll keep working to improve, as I think all creators should.