#i'm kind of losing my mind over this (in a good way)
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vole-mon-amour · 2 days ago
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After everything that has happened to Johnny, his body autonomy is such a huge and interesting topic for me. It should be WAY more present in the game.
In Phantom Liberty, they barely touched the surface of his military trauma and other traumatic events throughout his life, let alone Johnny losing his human arm and getting a prosthetic that sent him over the edge with cyberpsychosis and a messed up, traumatized psyche (as if it wasn't bad enough before that).
Cyberpunk 2077 is already such a great game, but it could have been an absolute masterpiece if they let us get through to Johnny and his trauma. V tells him he's a softie and Johnny replies with a "fuck you"—because how many people have been kind to him before that, really? How many people tried to genuinely understand him, especially since he pushed them away over and over again?
The game should have allowed the player to push through his "fuck you" that is actually a defensive mechanism, his awkwardness at being seen and exposed to those human feelings. The game should have allowed the player to help Johnny, to "Don't bullshit me, Johnny, I'm here for you whether you like it or not. Don't want me? Let's go talk to Kerry. Rogue is also an option, y'know?" (And judging by the way Johnny acts during a date with Rogue, and by him telling Rogue about V's death, Johnny still trusts Rogue enough and is, to a point, ready to be vulnerable and truthful with her.)
I mean, I'm sure Johnny and Kerry had many heart-to-heart conversations, but Johnny still built up a wall and pushed people away, even Kerry (his best friend, mind you).
And after the war? Drugs, alcohol, anything to drown the pain. The way he used sex to manipulate and to cope while he was also disassociating? I mean, he already has an arm he hates, that is still a foreign object, why not use his body, too?
You've heard this from me before and you'll hear this again: Johnny Silverhand deserved better. The Temperance ending remains the best canonical ending for me—he gets that second chance at life, to heal, to live. Even though he has to live in V's body, has to get used to it and that there's no V anymore, that the body fully belongs to him now. There's another question of body autonomy because Johnny's consciousness/the Relic overwrote itself on V's psyche, so technically he stole the body and killed V without meaning to. But then again, it was V's choice to give Johnny the body. It was V's choice to tell Johnny, "Don't fuck this up. Heal. Live for me to the fullest."
And so he tries, with his immense guilt and grief. He genuinely tries, otherwise V's sacrifice was for nothing. Otherwise it was only a waste.
Of course, in my head V is alive. Johnny gets his body back, his rehab, his healing—because's Johnny's actual body is so tired, is so used to every kind of poison, he NEEDS time to heal. It's going to be a process. It's going to take years. But it's important for him to get help.
But that's not canon. Canon is that Johnny is suffering all the fucking time, lying to himself that he's good, and then during events of Phantom Liberty and any kind of heart-to-heart with V it overwhelms him to the point of him holding back tears.
"I was totally ok with that, until now."
Yeah. Sure you were, darling.
Anyway. Body autonomy for Johnny Silverhand 2k25.
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starfruitii · 1 day ago
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cws & notes. reader is kind of insecure. akaashi keiji x gn!reader. established relationship. slight angst. 600+ words. idk where this came from but enjoy?
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“Do you think you’ll get sick of me, one day?”
You regret the words as soon as they leave your lips. In your head, it sounded like a perfectly sound question, but with the way Keiji is looking at you, it’s clear he doesn’t agree. 
“I beg your pardon, dear?” His voice is painfully soft, brows furrowing in concern as he places his book down on the coffee table. Under his gentle gaze, you feel stripped bare, exposed in all your insecurity. You should have swallowed the question down, as sharp as it felt in your throat, anything to avoid the way he’s staring at you now.
“Nevermind,” You say quickly, snatching the TV remote from the table, and busying yourself with choosing a show. The screen flicks between channels, flashing brightly coloured lights across your faces. “That was a dumb question. I’m sorry, just forget it.”
“My love,” Keiji reached out a hand, lightly brushing the side of your face. With a gentle, but firm grip, he grasped your chin and tilted your head to the side to face him. “[Name]. Why are you asking me that?” 
“No reason. Don’t worry about it.” You try to laugh it off, but you can only choke out a quiet sob. Somehow, somewhere between asking the question and now, your eyes started burning, glazing over with unshed tears.
Damn. He’s looking even more concerned now. Why couldn’t you have just kept it to yourself, tucking those doubts far into the dusty corners of your head, where his ears would never reach them?
“Hey,” Keiji brushed his thumb under your eyes, wiping away a stray tear that falls. “You’re getting me worried now. Are you okay? What happened?”
There was a long pause, and something inside you cracks. You let out a sniffle, then a gasp, then the last piece of your self-control breaks, in a mess of tears and snot. Keiji’s face crumples, and he tugs you forward into his chest, rubbing your back soothingly as you continue to cry. 
“Did I do something?” He presses. “Am I not treating you the way you want to be treated? I’m sorry if I’ve hurt you, but please tell me what I did–”
“No!” You quickly say, regaining your composure slightly. He’s never done anything, never hurt you, intentionally, or unintentionally, never said the wrong words, never made you feel unloved. That was the problem. Because nothing gold shines forever, and every good thing comes to an end. You were just waiting for the end, the moment he decides he is done with your self-consciousness, your bad habits, your looks. 
There is always a reason for someone to leave; you’ve learnt that the hard way. 
“I-I don’t know,” You mumble, tracing your nail against the couch. “I just–I guess, most people do. Get sick of me, that is. And I d-don’t wanna lose you too.”
Keiji was silent for a moment, and for a moment you worry that you've ruined things. The thought lingers in your mind for only a second, because a second later there are half-a-dozen kisses being pressed to the top of your head.
“I love you,” Keiji whispers between each peck. “I love you, so, so much. I love you, and I love you, and I will say it as many times as it takes you to believe it.”
The feeling of his breath tickles your skin, making you laugh weakly.
“I'm never going to get sick of you,” He continues. “I adore you, and every part of you. No matter what happens, I'm never leaving. Okay?”
“Okay,” you whisper back.
Keiji kisses your cheek. “Good. Now, why don't you put on a movie for us to watch?”
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mollywog · 24 hours ago
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What are your thoughts on Possibility of Peeta in Canon feeling guilt over a perception that he forced Katniss into the Star crossed lovers?
Oooo -Thank you for giving me an opportunity to talk about this.
One of Peeta’s main survival tactics is his ability to read people and situations…. And he’s pretty good at it (which probably was helpful to him far before the arena with a volatile mother but that’s maybe more the stuff of HCs so moving on)
With that in mind:
One of the first things Peeta says to Katniss upon her discovering him in the arena is:
"Lean down a minute first," he says. "Need to tell you something." I lean over and put my good ear to his lips, which tickle as he whispers. "Remember, we're madly in love, so it's all right to kiss me anytime you feel like it."
Even in his fevered state, Peeta is aware that this is an act (at least on Katniss’s side)
Later - when he’s trying to convince Katniss not to go to the feast and she claims that she isn’t, he says:
"You're such a bad liar, Katniss. I don't know how you've survived this long." He begins to mimic me. "I knew that goat would be a little gold mine. You're a little cooler though. Of course, I'm not going." He shakes his head. "Never gamble at cards. You'll lose your last coin," he says.
‘I knew that goat would be a little gold mine. You're a little cooler though. Of course, I'm not going.’ -> all moments he (accurately) clocked where Katniss wasn’t being 100% honest if not outright lying
The ‘I don’t know how you’ve survived this long’ part is particularly interesting to me but I digress.
So then fast forward to after the feast where Katniss risked her life to save him:
"No! Just don't, Katniss!" His grip tightens, hurting my hand, and there's real anger in his voice. "Don't die for me. You won't be doing me any favors. All right?"
I'm startled by his intensity but recognize an excellent opportunity for getting food, so I try to keep up. "Maybe I did it for myself, Peeta, did you ever think of that? Maybe you aren't the only one who ... who worries about ... what it would be like if ..."
I fumble. I'm not as smooth with words as Peeta. And while I was talking, the idea of actually losing Peeta hit me again and I realized how much I don't want him to die. And it's not about the sponsors. And it's not about what will happen back home. And it's not just that I don't want to be alone. It's him. I do not want to lose the boy with the bread
"If what, Katniss?" he says softly.
I wish I could pull the shutters closed, blocking out this moment from the prying eyes of Panem. Even if it means losing food. Whatever I'm feeling, it's no one's business but mine.
"That's exactly the kind of topic Haymitch told me to steer clear of," I say evasively, although Haymitch never said anything of the kind. In fact, he's probably cursing me out right now for dropping the ball during such an emotionally charged moment. But Peeta somehow catches it.
"Then I'll just have to fill in the blanks myself," he says, and moves in to me.
In this moment Katniss inwardly acknowledges that she has real feeling beyond the act and Peeta, again, reads those feelings correctly.
This is the turning point for him.
So, then imagine his surprise on the train tracks (and all the self doubt):
"It was all for the Games," Peeta says. "How you acted."
"Not all of it," I say, tightly holding on to my flowers.
"Then how much? No, forget that. I guess the real question is what's going to be left when we get home?" he says.
(Just picture Peeta replaying the games in his head and trying to figure out where he missed the tell.)
We often joke about Peeta being oblivious to Katniss’s feelings for him in Catching Fire, but really: He’s been burned by ‘misinterpreting’ her before and he’s trying not to make the same ‘mistake’ again.
In a way
“You love me. Real or not real?
Is a remnant of that doubt.
Anyways - back you your original question:
There wasn't a single person in Panem expecting the Gamemakers to allow for two winners prior to the rule change... 73 years of one Victor: It's unprecedented.
The star-crossed lovers strategy, under normal game circumstances,
Benefits them both. The romance makes them both fan favorites to sponsors. But, at the end of the day, there can only be one Victor. So when one were to die, public sympathy would swing sponsors towards the broken hearted other.
Relied very little on Katniss; she didn't have to opportunity to state her feelings for Peeta to the audience after the interview and in the arena, up until the rule change, she barely saw him. Had he died before the (unprecedented) rule change, there wouldn’t be much for her to do but appear sad. The star-crossed lover but is eventually just a sound bite.
No one could have predicted that both Katniss and Peeta would be crowned victors and have to maintain the strategy indefinitely.
So yes, on top of believing he mistook Katniss’s feelings for him in the arena, he then discovered they’d have to maintain the pretense of lovers for the rest of their lives… I’m sure he felt all sorts of miserable ways about that.
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pinklotushere · 20 hours ago
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"And I'm trying to be sane."
- Welcome and goodbye Song by Dream, Ivory
---
The Wayne Manor study was cold, despite the fire burning in the hearth. Bruce stood by the window, staring out at the snow-dusted gardens. Dick stormed in, his anger palpable, the door slamming shut behind him.
“You think this interview is going to fix anything?” Dick snapped, his voice sharp and accusatory.
Bruce didn’t turn around. “It’s not about fixing things. It’s about giving Jason the respect he deserves.”
Dick scoffed, pacing. “Respect? You want to give him respect now? After putting him in a position that got him killed?”
Bruce’s shoulders stiffened, but he remained silent.
Dick’s anger boiled over. “You made him pick up that mantle, Bruce! You let him get involved in your war, and it got him killed! He wasn’t ready for any of it. He was just trying to live up to your impossible standards.”
“I didn’t make him do anything,” Bruce said quietly, still not turning to face Dick. “Jason made his own decisions.”
Dick slammed his fist on the desk. “Don’t do that! Don’t act like this is some noble tragedy where Jason’s choices were all his own. He was a kid. A stubborn, angry, reckless kid who wanted nothing more than to prove himself to you. And you let him!”
Bruce finally turned, his face lined with exhaustion and guilt. “You think I don’t blame myself? Every decision I made, every moment I wasn’t there to stop it—I think about it constantly. I failed him, Dick. I know that."
Dick’s voice dropped, the anger giving way to raw pain. “You didn’t just fail him, Bruce. You failed me.”
The words hung in the air like a physical blow. Bruce’s mouth opened slightly, but no words came out.
“I trusted you to protect him,” Dick continued, his voice shaking. “I thought you learned from everything we went through. But you made the same mistakes. And now Jason’s gone because of it.”
Bruce turned back to the window, his voice barely audible. “I thought I could save him. I thought I was giving him a better life.”
Dick took a step back, his anger simmering beneath the surface. “Well, you didn’t. And now you’re dragging yourself in front of Gotham to pretend like this will make things better. But it won’t. Nothing will.”
Bruce didn’t respond. The only sound in the room was the crackling of the fire. Finally, Dick turned and walked out, leaving Bruce alone with his guilt.
---
The studio was unnaturally quiet as Bruce sat across from the reporter. The lights were harsh, casting deep shadows on his face.
“Mr. Wayne,” the reporter began, her voice gentle, “the loss of Jason Todd has left Gotham in mourning. How are you handling this tragedy?”
Bruce took a long pause before answering, his voice low and measured. “Jason was… a son to me. Losing him is the hardest thing I’ve ever faced. There are no words for that kind of pain.”
The reporter nodded sympathetically. “Can you tell us about Jason? What was he like?"
Bruce’s lips twitched into a faint, bittersweet smile. “Jason was…complicated. He was stubborn, always pushing boundaries, always asking questions. But that’s what made him special. He never accepted things as they were—he always wanted to make them better. He had a sharp mind, a quick wit, and a fierce determination to prove himself.”
Jason, grinning as he leaned against the Batmobile, grease smudged on his face. “Told you I could fix it faster than Alfred,” he’d said with that cocky smirk.
Bruce blinked, pushing the memory away. “He wasn’t perfect, but he was good. And he deserved more than what he got.”
The reporter’s tone turned cautious. “There’s been speculation that Jason’s proximity to you and your high-profile life may have contributed to his death. How do you respond to that?”
Bruce’s expression hardened. “Jason came into my life because I wanted to give him a chance—a real chance at a future. He deserved to feel safe, to have opportunities he’d never had before. If people want to blame someone for what happened, they can blame me. I made the choices that put him in harm’s way. And I’ll carry that responsibility for the rest of my life.”
The reporter’s voice softened. “What do you want Gotham to remember about Jason?”
Bruce’s voice faltered, his face blank. “Jason was… just a kid. He wasn’t perfect, but he tried. He deserved to grow up, to figure out who he wanted to be. I want people to remember that he mattered. That he was loved.”
"If there was something you'd say to jason now, what would it be?"
“There was a life before you, Jason,” he said aloud, his voice quiet and hoarse. “And then there was life with you. But for some reason, I never thought there would be an after you.”
He closed his eyes, the weight of those words pressing down on him. “But here it is. And I’m in it. I’ll be in it forever. I dont know how I'll go from here on”
"I'm sure he'd want you to move on" the interviewer smiled gently
Jason, standing in the kitchen, grinning triumphantly as he held up a burnt lasagna. “Alfred said I couldn’t cook. Joke’s on him—it’s technically edible!"
Bruce’s lips twitched into a faint smile. “He had this way of… making you believe anything was possible, even when you knew better. He made the world feel bigger somehow.”
---
Dick Grayson sat forward in his chair, his hands clasped tightly. The grief in his expression was raw and unfiltered.
“Thank you for being here, Dick,” the reporter began. “Jason Todd’s death has been a tragedy felt across Gotham. How are you coping?”
Dick exhaled sharply, his jaw tightening. “I’m not. Jason wasn’t just some kid I knew—he was my brother. Losing him feels like… like losing a part of myself.”
The reporter nodded. “What was your relationship like with Jason?”
A faint smile flickered across Dick’s face, tinged with sadness. “It was complicated. We argued a lot. He was stubborn, always trying to prove himself. But that’s what made him… Jason. He didn’t back down, even when he probably should have. He cared about people, even if he didn’t always show it. He had so much potential.”
Jason, laughing as he raced him across the rooftops. “Come on, dickhead, keep up!” he’d shouted, his voice full of that youthful arrogance.
Dick’s smile faded. “But he never got the chance to figure it all out.”
“What do you want people to remember about Jason?”
Dick’s voice softened, his eyes glistened “Jason was just a kid trying to find his place in the world. He deserved so much more than what he got. I want people to remember that he mattered. That he was loved.”
The reporter asked, “What would you say to Jason now if you could?”
Dick’s voice cracked, his composure slipping. “I’d tell him I’m sorry. That I was too hard on him. That I didn’t mean half the things I said. And that… I loved him. I really did.”
Jason tackling him during a training session, both of them laughing as they tumbled to the ground. “Not bad for the new guy, huh?” Jason had teased, his grin infectious.
“Not bad,” Dick had admitted, ruffling his hair.
---
Dick found Bruce waiting outside the studio, leaning against the car. The two stared at each other for a long moment.
“You heard it all, didn’t you?” Dick sighed
Bruce nodded. “You did good.”
Dick’s anger flared again. “Don’t patronize me, Bruce. I’m not doing this for you.”
Bruce’s expression darkened. “I know that.”
“Do you?” Dick stepped closer, his voice rising. “Because sometimes, it feels like all of this is still about you. Your guilt. Your pain. Meanwhile, Jason’s the one who’s gone. And we’re the ones left trying to make sense of it.”
Bruce looked away, his voice quiet. “I’m trying to do what’s right.”
Dick shook his head, the anger giving way to exhaustion. “Yeah, well, maybe you should’ve thought about that before putting Jason in the crossfire.”
The two stood in silence before Dick finally turned to walk away. “I hope you figure it out, Bruce. For his sake.”
--
Dick sat alone in his apartment, His hands trembled as he stared at an old photograph of Jason. It was from one of Alfred’s rare attempts to capture the family at peace—Jason mid-laugh, trying to swat away Dick’s hand, messing with his hair.
"I should have picked up the damn phone"
He clenched the photo tighter, the edges biting into his palm.
They’d been in the Batcave, the tension between them boiling over after another mission. Jason leaned against the Batcomputer, arms crossed, his expression defiant.
“You think you’re so much better than me, don’t you?” Jason snapped. “Just because you were the first. Golden Boy Grayson.”
“That’s not what this is about,” Dick shot back, his voice sharp. “You don’t listen, Jason. You charge in without thinking, and one day, it’s going to get you killed.”
Jason rolled his eyes. “Right, because you never made mistakes. Spare me the lecture.”
Dick’s temper flared. “This isn’t about me! I’m trying to keep you alive, you idiot!”
Jason smirked, his usual defiance masking the hurt in his eyes. “Don’t worry, Dick. I’ll make sure not to ruin your perfect record.”
He'd stormed out, leaving Dick standing there, fists clenched.
Dick’s hand trembled as he brought the photo closer. “I should’ve apologized. I should’ve told you that I didn’t mean it, that I was just scared for you. But now… now I’ll never get the chance.”
He swallowed hard, tears streaking down his face. “You weren’t supposed to go, Jay. I wasn’t ready to lose you. Not like this.”
---
Headline the next week:
"Wayne’s Tragic Loss: ‘I Never Thought There Would Be an After’ – Bruce Speaks Out About Jason’s Death"
"Grayson Breaks Silence: ‘I Was Too Hard on Jason’ – A Brother’s Regret Revealed"
"Gotham’s Darkest Hour: Dick Grayson Reveals Guilt Over Jason’s Death"
"Jason Todd’s Tragic End: Wayne and Grayson Speak About the Boy Who Didn’t Make It"
"The Aftermath of a Tragedy: Grayson and Wayne Face the Public After Jason’s Death"
@BatFan25
"Damn. Bruce Wayne just admitted he never thought there’d be an ‘after’ Jason. That hit hard. #WayneFamily #JasonTodd"
@Nightwing_13
"Dick Grayson saying he was too hard on him? Man, I felt that, I'm mean to my little brother all the time, too. You can see the guilt in his eyes. #RIPJasonTodd #GraysonRegrets"
@GothamWatcher
"Anyone else feel like Bruce Wayne is still carrying the weight of this? His words about Jason... so heavy. #WayneFamily #GothamGrief"
@MissMysterious
"Honestly, watching Dick Grayson break down about Jason... I can’t handle it. He loved him so much, even when they fought. #GraysonFamily #JasonTodd"
@WonerwomanFangirl
"The way Bruce talked about Jason... like he’s still trying to process it. But I get it. Jason was his son. 😔 #WayneFamily #RIPJasonTodd"
@GothamKnight48"
Dick Grayson: 'But he never got the chance to figure it all out.' Jejxysgej my babies nooo #RIPJasonTodd #GraysonFamily"
@crimsoncider
"I honestly feel for Bruce. The man lost a kid he raised. People forget that part sometimes. #WayneFamily #JasonTodd"
@TheRealrobin
"Bruce saying he never thought there’d be an after Jason... I mean, who does? Losing a son? That’s the kind of pain you can’t just get over. #Grief"
@GothamViews
"It was hard to watch Dick talk about Jason. I think he always blamed himself a little. But at least he was honest. #Family"
@just_a_lonely_bat
"Bruce and Dick going these interviews about Jason... makes you realize they’re just human, too. So much pain behind those winning smiles of theirs. #WayneFamily"
Pls don't track down my house
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kkrahe · 1 day ago
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Unexpected - Chapter 1
George Weasley x Slytherin!Reader
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Series Summary: You never expected to cross paths with George Weasley - your complete opposite. But as rivalry ignites between you two, so does something far more dangerous, an undeniable attraction that neither of you can ignore.
Chapter Summary: When Fred and George Weasley step into your family’s dark and mysterious shop in Knockturn Alley, the last thing you expect is a clash of wits. But as the brash twins push your patience to its limits, tensions rise.
CW: None :D
AN: This is my first fic please be gentle, I'm very open to suggestion or corrections. Sorry if formatting is weird/off I'm not sure how to work tumblr TT. Lmk if this is bad so I can just quit while I'm ahead :D
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The scent of old parchment and dust permeated the air throughout your family’s shop. It was familiar; you had worked there every summer since you turned 14. The shop was eclectic, with shelves littered with the ancient tomes, cursed artifacts, and hard-to-come-by ingredients that your family had collected over the years.
Located in the narrow dimly-lit Knockturn Alley, most of the shop's patrons were familiar faces. Pureblood wizards who favored darker magic and the occasional wanderer, looking for something more sinister or rare than the opposite Diagon Alley could provide.
You leaned against the dark hardwood countertop, flipping idly through a thick, leather-bound book. Savoring the last few weeks of pleasure reading before you returned to Hogwarts for your final year and would be too consumed in school to find time for hobbies.
You had spent most of your summer in the shop, not that you minded. The crowded maze of a building was like your second home, providing a much-needed haven from your families chaotic manor. Truthfully, you savored summers in the shop, unlike Hogwarts and your family home, here you were in charge. The shop ran by your schedule and your rules.
The chime of the doorbell cut through the quiet, typically you had a few visitors throughout the day. Many of them friends of your family or the occasional lost first-year. Your eyes flicked to the door, setting your book aside.
Two tall figures crossed the threshold, and your heart sank. Fred and George Weasley.
You recognized them immediately - their flaming red hair, boisterous laughter, and of course their tendency to cause chaos wherever they went. Hogwart’s notorious pranksters stood out like a pair of sore thumbs in your shop.
You feel yourself tense behind the counter, watching as they glanced around with curious stares. They didn’t belong here, you knew that much, and from the inquisitive yet hesitant expressions they wore, they did too. But Knockturn Alley had a way of attracting all kinds of customers - especially when they were searching for something they couldn’t find elsewhere. You had a feeling they were up to no good.
“Blimey, this place is cheerful huh Georgie?” Fred called out loudly, his brash voice echoing through the narrow aisles of shelves and cabinets. So clearly out of place in a shop such as your own. Looking at his brother as he brushed a hand over a shelf of dusty potion vials.
You stayed silent, spine rigid as you sent them an unimpressed glare. The twins however didn’t seem to notice, not even glancing your way as they gawked at the assortment of forbidden magical goods on display.
George, was already across the room, picking up an ancient cursed dagger from a shelf clearly labeled “do not touch” in a bold angry scrawl. His slender fingers brushed dangerously close to its blade.
Your eyes narrow, voice sharp as you call out, “I wouldn’t touch that if I were you. Unless you fancy losing a hand, Weasley.”
George snatched his hand back, startled by your voice as he hadn’t noticed the presence of the shopkeeper. A flicker of acknowledgment and bashfulness in his eye as he set the dagger back into its stand.
His smile was boyish, charming even, but you didn’t waver. You weren’t amused, and you weren’t going to let them get away with their usual reckless antics here. Your family’s shop was dangerous - its contents were not for the careless or the foolish.
Fred, on the other hand, seemed intent on pushing the boundaries. Reaching for an ornate vase perched precariously on a pedestal near the counter, tipping it dangerously close to the edge.
Your heart leapt into your throat as you watched the vase teeter on the edge of the table. Snatching your wand from under the desk and catching the vase just before it hit the floor. The shining black ceramic just above the hardwood, frozen in place as you scowled at the twins.
“That’s worth more than your life,” you snapped, moving the vase to a different shelf out of reach from the twins. “Try not to break anything, Weasley. Unless you want to be in debt for the next three generations."
Fred held up his palms in mock surrender, grinning. “Easy there. No need to be so touchy.”
You ignored him, your patience wearing thin. The Weasleys were loud, obnoxious, and far too reckless to be in here. The sooner they left, the better. You had no interest in entertaining any sort of banter with the twins, surprised you could even find it within yourself to not kick them out of your shop that very second.
Finally, after what felt like an eternity of them rummaging through your family’s carefully curated inventory, George placed a small vial of Ashwinder eggs on the counter. Not particularly nefarious or ancient, but certainly hard to come by, and quite expensive due to its rarity.
“That’ll be 50 Galleons,” you said flatly, not in the mood for negotiation.
Fred leaned against the counter, flashing a grin. “Fifty Galleons? How about we call it twenty-five? We are just some poor schoolboys trying to make an honest living after all.”
You don’t budge. “This isn’t a joke shop, and I don’t haggle. If you want cheap, I suggest looking elsewhere.” You looked the twins up and down, a scowl forming on your face. Your words cold and cutting. The look exchanged between the twins told you they weren’t used to being dismissed so easily.
You could see the flicker of irritation in George’s eyes as he stepped forward, “Right. Must be nice, being able to charge whatever you want. Us Weasleys wouldn’t know anything about that though, would we?” His tone, though light, carried a hint of bitterness that made your jaw tighten. You didn’t care for his attempts to belittle your family’s business, nor his declaration of what he thought your goods were worth.
The air between you thickened, but you held your ground, refusing to let their words affect you. “Fifty Galleons,” you repeated coolly.
Begrudgingly the twins paid, sliding a pile of gold coins across the counter in a messy heap. Their smiles gone, replaced with clear annoyance and tension that simmered beneath the surface.
As they left the shop, the bell chimed in their wake, Fred turning to shoot you one last look, “We’ll be seeing you around. Don’t miss us too much."
You watched them go, glaring down your nose as the shop door slammed shut, the quiet you longed for returning like a heavy cloak. You should have been relieved by their absence. But you couldn’t shake the feeling that this wouldn’t be the last time Fred and George Weasley darkened your doorstep. And despite yourself, the thought unsettled you more than you cared to admit.
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we-stan-the-stans-27 · 2 days ago
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Sleeping Beauty AU?
@sixerstanley Here had this HUGE big brain idea and I immediately sprung into action to write a little something about it.
Basically, they read a merlin fic where a spell made it seem like Merlin was dead, but he was basically asleep and aware of everything going on. Arthur was not having a good time. (trauma and pain ensues) I'm going to replicate it, based on the idea alone.
(Also, I had no idea this would turn into an almost 4k oneshot, oops! Color me inspired, I guess! I can do this, but not my actual fan fiction. LMAO!)
Suffer with me. (JK, enjoy. XD )
For the first time in weeks, Ford had allowed himself a full night's rest downstairs. Why not reward himself, just this once? The rift is sealed, the universe is safe, and things are slowly getting back to normal. Or as normal as they get in the pathetic excuse for what used to be his home.
Ford still has a hard time calling it what it is, 'The Mystery Shack' is a little on the nose, isn't it? The exhibits are hardly anything close to a mystery. They're botched taxidermy projects.
Insults. That's what they are.
A slap in the face to his life's work.
Whatever, that's not his problem right now. Coffee is the first order of business.
It's early and no one else is awake, but the coffee pot is still hot with a fresh pot. One cup appears to be missing. Stanley must be awake then.
Ford takes his time pouring the life-bringing liquid into his favorite cup (it is amazing Stanley didn't break it or lose it after all these years) and adding in ample sugar, and a dash of cream for color.
He adds a single ice cube to cool it faster, listening to the sounds of the house. It's silent, too quiet.
Ford can't help that even in a peaceful environment it puts him on edge.
The TV is off and a walk through the living room reveals Stanley isn't sitting on the couch. The first-floor bathroom light is off, door is slightly ajar, but empty.
That's weird.
He really shouldn't be looking for his brother anyway since the only good that will do is start another fight. It's too early for that.
Ford settles back in the kitchen, hovering near the window and sipping his cup watching the clock on the wall tic on. Minutes pass.
The silence is no longer just putting him on edge, it's sounding alarms.
Why? There is nothing dangerous here in the house, they are perfectly safe here now that Bill has been dealt with.
What then?
To put his own stupid mind to rest he leaves the empty cup in the sink and goes upstairs to the attic, checking on Dipper and Mabel.
They are both still fast asleep in their beds. Dipper, drooling on his pillow with half the blanket on the floor. Mabel, hair stuck up in all directions, clutching one of her many stuffed animals like it might try to escape.
Waddles is here too, curled up on its makeshift bed on the floor.
He stays just long enough to ensure they are all breathing, and sleeping soundly, before noiselessly going back downstairs.
The second floor is as empty as the first, including Stanley's poor excuse for a room. It is a mess of half-packed boxes, several trash bags, and the always-unmade bed.
Soon enough the house will be normal again.
Stanley will be gone, the kids will go home- (Perhaps they'll visit again next summer? It's a shame Dipper can't stay) and the Mystery Shack business will be over forever.
This once secluded corner of the valley will be that way again, his haven away from prying eyes. And tourists.
With the interior of the house cleared that only leaves the yard and porch.
Ford makes his way out onto the one Stanley finds the most use out of and the worry he hadn't realized to be carrying vanishes. There he is, sitting back dead asleep on the disgusting couch. How old is that thing? It appears to be growing several kinds of mold along the bottom because of the constant rain this region gets.
One hand is barely holding onto Stan's coffee cup, the arm of the couch holding it up while its owner sleeps.
"Seriously, Stanley? Being old doesn't give you an excuse to sleep anywhere, much less flash the local wildlife in little more than boxers." It's a good dig, in his opinion, and he speaks loud enough to rouse Stanley despite how hard of hearing he has become over the years.
Except no quick response comes.
Stanley doesn't so much as twitch in his spot on the couch.
The fear comes back-
Oh, don't be ridiculous!
"Very funny, Stanley." He lets the door close, quietly, before moving to stand in front of his brother, hands on either hip.
He looks, really looks, at Stan.
And sees nothing good.
The first notable, and most concerning finding, is that his brother isn't breathing. He waits, watching, assuming this to be a breath hold.
A joke.
But that isn't the only concerning evidence. Stanley's eyes are also halfway open, looking over the yard. Empty.
Not funny anymore, very much NOT funny!
Ford does not panic, not yet. He moves and picks up the cup, plucking it out of his brother's hand- It lacks any strength, like taking a toy from a child.
"Stanley? Wake up. Very good joke, you got me. Stop it now." He kneels on the couch, next to him, after setting the cup aside on the porch by their feet.
For the second time since coming home, Ford touches Stanley. This time with a kinder hold, reaching up to press two fingers along the pulse point between the jaw and collar bone, off to the side of the Adam's apple.
Nothing.
'One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Eight. Nine. Ten-'
He could count on one hand the number of times true panic has overtaken him in his lifetime. It isn't a luxury one can often afford when coming face to face with death constantly in the multiverse-
But what harm can come of it when someone is already dead?
His hand stays right where it is, tucked into the still-warm skin-
"No, this isn't funny-" But Ford's voice shakes and he snatches the hand away quickly. If he can't feel the lack of pulse, it's not there. Simple.
How didn't he notice? When did this happen?
What happened?
No- Ford turns, looking around the peaceful yard. Dew covers the grass, the sun peaked up about half an hour ago basking the clearing in pink and yellow hues.
There isn't any blood.
Death is messy. He has seen it countless times, but it is never, ever, peaceful. Knives, guns, cracking bones, broken bodies...
Looking back at Stanley none of that is present. The skin is still pink, and warm, eyes open but- Dead.
No. That can't be. It just can't.
Stanley looks almost peaceful, asleep. His coffee, barely a sip or two taken from the looks of it. "No."
Panic takes many different forms. Initially, instinctively, Ford looked for the cause. It had to be someone, something, who did this. Who took his brother?
But there is nothing, no one, in sight. No blood.
"Stanley, who-" His feet stop, body stalling, in the middle of turning back from the yard to look at the corpse...
He had been about to ask, to question who did this. But a dead body can't answer. A dead body, a corpse.
There is a distinction between a vessel and a person, or so Ford had always thought.
Everyone dies and until then you live inside and pilot your body. Someday, it becomes a corpse and you leave it behind.
That is such a cold and callous way to look at it, in retrospect. Because this, is Stanley. He's just- Gone.
With quick hands, Ford begins looking, almost in a frenzy, for the cause.
No blunt force trauma to the back of the head. No perforations to the abdomen, arms, nothing. There is nothing.
But that's not possible, people don't just-
Except they do. Sometimes-
No. NO! Not them, not him! Stanley Pines wouldn't just die, not without a fight!
Death doesn't play favorites, anyone can go, anytime-
"Shut up! No, he wouldn't! He wouldn't leave me!" It comes out in a shout and shakes him.
It wasn't supposed to end like this.
He never allowed himself to think very far into the future, how could he? Everything was always changing and it was better to live in the now anyway. So long as you were safe now, other things could be handled later-
Except later doesn't always wait for you to be ready. Time has its own plans and you have to work around it or something-
Stanley wasn't supposed to die. Isn't! he can't be-
Except-
There are no obvious injuries, but then again there don't have to be. They may not be old, but they're old enough. Brain aneurysms take hold suddenly, killing the affected almost instantly.
Leaving barely enough time to set down a cup of coffee-
Or a heart attack?
No, Stanley would have come inside, asked for help-
Wouldn't he?
"You idiot!" It comes out in a hiss from where Ford has shifted. He's kneeling right next to Stanley, hand on either shoulder, looking at his half-open but- Dead. Dead eyes. Empty. Gone.
Soulless.
Ford isn't sure who he's talking to. Himself? or Stanley? Both?
"I would have helped you, we could have called someone, I-" He has to pull away, sinking down into the empty space of the couch to hide the tears springing up without permission.
This can't be happening. Things weren't supposed to end like this-
Oh yeah, how was it supposed to go then?
With you, kicking him out next week? Leaving him homeless, again, just like Pa?
"Stop it! I don't know, not like this!" Stanley was always the stronger between them, persevering through everything no matter what happened.
Is this my fault?
What a stupid question.
It forces him to sit up again, one hand covering his face while half peering out at Stanley.
Of course it is. What did you expect? That he would take his life being uprooted lying down?
Did he do this on purpose?
In the rush to pick up the cup of coffee Ford almost knocks it over but finds he can't hold it without spilling some of it over the sides, down onto the porch, anyway. He is left with no choice but to set it back down to avoid wasting the sample.
Maybe.
Ford takes both a physical and mental step back, leaning against one of the columns holding up the roof over the porch, to look around.
Breathing is getting a little more difficult, coming in tight short inhales and smaller and smaller exhales.
What better way to get back at me? Thirty years of a life spent learning math, science, and engineering skills well beyond any normal human's comprehension, for what?
To get a brother back who first chance he got told him to pack it up and get out?
"What kind of brother am I?"
The kind who would rather be right than-
Then apologize. Forgive. Make up. Let go.
And now, it's too late. The train left the station, Stanley is gone, and its all my fault.
"He died thinking I hated him." That realization is what breaks the decade-old dam, tears finally escaping. Ford closes the distance, sitting on the stupid couch and pulling Stanley over into a hug, even if he's not here to feel it.
The lack of strong, still buff, arms encircling him, returning the sentiment only makes him cry harder into the thin and crappy tank top Stanley must have worn to bed.
"I'm sorry." He chokes out between sobs, "I thought I'd have more time, you'd have more time. I didn't think- How could I?" Nothing he's saying is making much sense.
The ramblings of a heartbroken lunatic.
As if we really deserve to be upset, like you'd of cared if it wasn't life or death-
Maybe his own thoughts are right. If Stanley had been alive, sitting here, having his morning coffee they would have traded morning insults before going their separate ways.
But that's not the reality they live in. This one is much worse, much darker.
I spent so much time running away, trying to break apart, and be unique. No longer part of a broken pair, or what I saw as one, I-
"I never expected to miss it when the other half was gone." He is still shaking, refusing to let go, with thoughts still scrambled in a million different directions.
CPR wouldn't do any good now, although it's a nice thought. If Stanley came out here directly after preparing his coffee then that was almost twenty minutes ago, give or take-
Oh god. What about the kids?
Without letting go Ford checks the time on his watch, wincing. A few hours at most, but he'll have to call the coroner-
What does he do?
For the first time, possibly ever, Ford feels lost.
Not only because his twin is currently dead, which is already world-ending, but everything that comes with it.
Who does he say the corpse belongs to? Stanley Pines has been dead for decades-
Is that why he did this? So that Ford could slot right back into his old life, fixing the broken and shattered history? No. This had to be an accident-
Only the testing of the coffee will confirm it or not.
Ford has never had to stick around and deal with a dead body before. Moving on was easier, and necessary. He can't remember attending a funeral, other than their great aunts when they were barely seven.
That's not the same. He'll have to make arrangements, put together pictures, and give a speech-
About a life he knows nothing about.
"God, I'm sorry Stanley. I'm so sorry." It feels safe to let his voice break here. No one is around to see how completely destroyed he feels. "All you ever did was love me, and I pushed you away. I crushed it, refused, and now..."
"Now you're gone. I can't even remember the last time I told you that I love you, but I do. So much, more than I could ever handle." Ford can't let go, but he does shift back to look at his brother's face, holding his limp body with one hand and clearing his own tears with the other.
"For what it's worth, I'm glad I'm here. Thank you, for bringing me back." He has to close his eyes, fresh tear tracks spilling across both cheeks, "Even if only so I could say goodbye. I'm glad I got that, at least. If only you were here-"
With a broken voice, Ford can't stand looking at Stan like this anymore. He reaches up, closing both eyes with feather-light fingers, before leaning close to press them forehead to forehead. Just like when they were young. Before everything.
It's odd. How fast do corpses cool? Not that Ford is going to complain. It lets him pretend, just for a few more moments, that Stanley isn't gone. That they could have this again.
Too little, too late.
"I love you, Stanley." It comes out broken and cruel, like the universe is mocking him. What was the point in protecting them from Bill if death came knocking anyway?
For the first time since coming home, Ford understands.
Finally, he can see why Stanley wasted so much of his life trying to bring him back. Because he loves so much, so big. To his own detriment.
He would do anything, even destroy the world, to have Ford by his side again.
"I'm so sorry, you deserved so much better." How different could things of been?
What would Stanley of done instead? Gotten married? Had kids?
A better family, that's for sure.
Ford knows he can't stay here forever. He needs to let go, head inside, and make some phone calls. To tell Soos to close the shack for the day, get an ambulance to bring Stanley to the morgue.
He needs to prepare for when the kids wake up and figure out what to tell them.
But first, he indulges himself a little bit more by leaning forward and pressing a kiss to Stanley's lips. It smells of coffee, cigars, and denture cream, but Ford can't detect any sort of drug or chemical from close proximity alone. It's nice.
Not what you'd expect from a corpse, but it's enough.
A goodbye, a real one in a weird broken way. Just their luck.
The absolute last thing Ford expects, upon starting to pull away, is to feel the body still pressed very tight to his own take in a very deep breath followed by Stanley's discarded hands coming up to grab at him.
"Stanley!" His voice is still broken, mixed with anger and joy in a typhoon of confusion.
And Stanley? He has the nerve to laugh!
"Don't think you're walking away from that so easily!" No longer locked inside his own body without the ability to do anything it's a relief to be able to breathe. But even better, he can pull Ford over on top of his lap, locking one leg in place against the side of the couch.
"Excuse me! I thought you were dead! What the fuck, Stanley! You can't just go around pretending to be dead to mess with people! What if the kids had found you, or Soos, or Wendy?! You would have scared them half to death, you scared me half to death!"
Truly, it's a complicated story. One Stan is pretty sure Ford doesn't want to hear right now when his mind is running a mile a minute.
He has other things that need to be said instead of explaining whoever that weird wizard was who came out of the forest.
Forcibly Stanley grabs Ford's face, bringing him down so they are face to face again, leaving no room for argument in their close proximity. "Shut up, will you?"
Being locked in was sort of a blessing because participating in the conversation is so much harder than he thought it would be moments ago. He steals his nerves anyway, "I love you too, I'm not dead, and I'm pretty sure forty years should have made you a better kisser than that. Otherwise, I've got my work cut out for me. Try again."
By now Ford's face is bright red both out of anger at being tricked and embarrassment at their current position. But Stanley's hands are no longer weak, holding him tightly in place. Not that he seriously wants to argue anyway.
Stan waits, but the longer Ford stares, the more unsure he becomes. Maybe he misunderstood? Or maybe Ford just has a thing for corpses and now that he isn't one, the interest is gone.
Fair enough, Stan knows he isn't much to look at. Age wasn't as kind to him as it was to Ford. All lean muscles, few wrinkles, and barely greying hair. It's stupid, really.
It would be hypocritical to go right back to being mad, wouldn't it?
Just because Stanley isn't dead now, doesn't mean he won't be next time. Or the time after that.
Anything could happen.
Ford knows he should pull away. They should talk about what the hell just happened. He should move off his brother's damn lap!
Or, he could give in to the very thing he's spent two-thirds of their lives running from. The details and tough conversation can be hashed out later, right?
It's the hold on his jaw loosening that yanks Ford out of his spinning thoughts back to the present. Stanley is pulling away, looking down-
How long was he lost in thought? It couldn't have been more than twenty seconds. Did he change his mind? No, then why does he look so-
Well. Stanley looks the same as he always does.
Oh. Briefly, for a few seconds, Stanley was being brave. He opened up and showed his hand. Let himself be vulnerable.
Idiot!
His hands had never fully left Stan's shoulders, but he tightens their grip now, shifting one up to cup along the underside of his jaw. He doesn't feel the need to say anything, because neither of them has ever really been good with words.
He leans down, surprising them both, with a much more insistent kiss.
A hello. And maybe? A new beginning.
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emmavakarian-theirin · 7 days ago
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god the amount of art i would pump out if i stopped letting lineart talk me out of it i would be unstoppable
#this is a rant @ me and not to sound like i'm bragging when i say what i'm about to say#but i swear to god it takes more time/effort for me to do a cartoonish drawing than a photo realistic-ish drawing and i hate it#because sometimes i just want to do a simple drawing that's just lineart. maybe SOME shading.#but i fuss so much on how the lines should look and where to add more/less lines and what kind of thickness and blah blaaah#i have SO many art ideas i want to bring to life i stress myself out about it#i know that sounds so stupid#like yes just do art! do it bad! it's better than nothing!#but it's... deflating. especially when i literally have an art degree like#5 years of art school and i was barely taught anything about line art#'oh well that's in animation so you'd want to do a degree in television' ???#and those few times lineart was relevant was when there was a naked person in front of us when you're told to just replicate what you see#but we rarely had any variety between models and when i'm in that setting drawing someone my mind is just#~oh god naked person don't stare but i must don't think about it but it needs to be right oh god naked person i'm uncomfortable -+#like it was just overwhelming stress of getting it right rather than actually learning anything#which honestly sums up my art school experience overall#but it also doesn't help when you hate your own body so much and the idea of someone trying to draw you is just humiliating#(like at one point we had to partner up with someone and both paint their portrait AND model their head with clay#and i nearly had a breakdown and refused and asked if i could use someone at home instead#bc I've got plenty of scars and deformities and my face isn't symmetrical and i knew that was either going to be overlooked or exaggerated#and when it's the other way around i try my best to pay attention to detail but it's becoming this debilitating anxiety#of doing exactly that back. and it's made me paranoid to do anatomy related stuff) ANYWAY#it would have been good if people weren't ALWAYS naked and they helped us narrow down how different fabrics work on bodies and stuff#and to help us convey that through LINEART instead of needing to do whole ass paintings and detailed sketches and stuff#[SpongeBob voice] WHAT I LEARNED IN ART SCHOOL IS--- 😬#anyway if any fellow artists have any tips they'd be willing to share i would very happily listen#like i've got my drive back to draw things again which in itself is nice but man#it would be nice to not lose steam 5 minutes after anything i start drawing because i freak myself out#okay rant over if anyone's still here thank you for your patience and interest#me ranting
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unlikelyjedi · 2 years ago
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My friend @wing-hero made the sweetest art for my birthday!!!
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I'm so in love with it!!! This is one of the sweetest gifts I've ever gotten!!!!
Thank you so much!!!! I love you I love you I love you!!!
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soft-beams · 24 days ago
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piercer!vi x f!reader, modern day
you come in for a piercing and vi's instantly smitten.
You're so pretty when you walk in, bubbly and sparking with energy that's hard to find these days. You smile at everyone, pulling them into your orbit with only a few words. Even the receptionist, known hater of everything, melts at your presence, and that has Vi wondering:
What the fuck are you doing here?
You're flickering through a magazine when Ekko approaches her, a knowing look on his face as he feigns a cough. It barely works to drag her attention away from you, and Ekko laughs when Vi tries to look at him and you at once.
"You're such a disaster," he laments and evades the incoming headlock Vi aims his way. "It's like you've never seen a beautiful person before. Do you know how lame you look?"
"Fuck off," Vi says, but it's lacking heat. "I've seen many beautiful people. Do you know how many hotties I pierce in a day?"
"And yet I've never seen you drooling over them," Ekko replies and shit, he's got her there. "Well, because I'm such a good friend, I'm gonna let you pierce her."
Vi tries not to seem too excited at the prospect. She's already been too much of a loser in front of Ekko already.
"Okay?" She shrugs, feigning nonchalance. "And what piercing is she getting today?"
Ekko smiles innocently. "Nipple piercing."
Oh, shit.
"Vi, she's ready for you," the receptionist says, poking their head around Vi's room. "So get off your ass and attend to her already."
Vi raises a brow. "You usually don't give a shit if I'm late or not with my clients." She replies, a little stunned. She then grows even more stunned when she sees the receptionist's cheeks turn a slight pink. "Oh my god—"
"Fuck off." They hiss before they're storming away and that, in itself, shows just how powerful you are.
"I'm not gonna survive this appointment, am I?" Vi says weakly, already knowing her fate.
Ekko snorts. "Good luck, buddy."
Vi's gonna need it.
~~~~~~~
It isn't long before you're seated in Vi's room, all comfy and relaxed like you owned the place. You smile when Vi appears back in the room, after having taken the time to compose herself.
"So I know what you want from your form," Vi says after sitting down in her stool. "But I like to hear from the cilent themselves. What's made you want to get a nipple piercing?"
You think about it for a second, pretty lips pursed in thought as your gaze wanders up to the ceiling. Goodness, it's such an innocent gesture, yet Vi's here kind of losing her mind over it.
"I wanted to do something I normally wouldn't do," you finally answer. "I've been kinda clean-cut my whole life. Not because I wanted to but because I had no choice." You give a small laugh, the sound a little rueful. "So when I moved out, I went a little off the deep end and fuck, it was nice. I got my ears pierced for the first time." You gesture to the three piecings you have on each ear. "And got a tattoo, but those weren't enough so my friend recommended another piercing."
Vi hums, sympathetic to your story before she's grinning. "And your friend recommended nipple piercings?"
There's a sudden shift in your demeanor; the confidence and ease you once had simmering down to something else. Something more delicate and awkward; a little embarrassed.
"Actually," you start softly, eyes lowered. "I made the decision..." You fiddle with your hands in your lap. "I heard that getting your nipples pierced made them more sensitive and...I wanted to see if that was true..."
Vi swallows heavily, her breathing suddenly deepening at your confession.
This isn't the first time a client has said they're getting a piercing for sensation. Vi's pierced more body parts than she can count, a lot of them beneath the belt. It's never affected her because, after all, the bodies she sees are simply bodies. They're nothing more than that, and there's no feelings attached to it.
Yeah, she's been appreciative of the bodies she sees, but it's like appreciating art.
This, on the other hand, is different because she knows she's attracted to you. Since the moment she saw you in the waiting room, laughing with the staff and sitting elegantly as you flipped through magazines. You're exactly what she's into, and the fact that she's about to touch you is driving her a bit crazy.
She takes a deep breath, deciding to speak now because she's been silent for too long. To the point she can see you fidgeting anxiously.
"Hey, that's absolutely valid," she assures you quickly, lips quirked up in a smile. "You're within your rights as a person to explore yourself and have these experiences. Especially when you weren't allowed to have them." Her smile turns cheeky. "And I can say that nipple piercings do make the nipples more sensitive, so you'll really enjoy them."
Your eyes widen at her implication, shooting down momentarily to her chest, before you're murmuring a soft, "oh."
Fuck, you're too cute.
"Okay," Vi starts, drawing away from this moment because she needs to focus. "So I'm gonna need you to take off your top so I can see what I'm working with."
You give a slight chuckle as you go to take off your top. "Charming," you tease, and Vi winks.
"It's a part of the pack—" she starts to say but stops short when your top's finally off and to the side. "—age..."
You blink, tilting your head to the side as you say, "Vi, are you okay?"
No, she's not.
No, because she's just come face to chest with the most perfect tits she's ever seen.
a.n: yes, there will be a part two
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luveline · 7 months ago
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𝐭𝐨𝐩𝐚𝐳, 𝐥𝐢𝐦𝐞, 𝐫𝐮𝐛𝐲 𝐫𝐞𝐝 | 𝐞𝐝𝐝𝐢𝐞 𝐦𝐮𝐧𝐬𝐨𝐧
Eddie has a staring problem that you barely notice, though you share an aching, awful crush. One of you has to bend first, and it’s not who you’d expect. fem, 5k 
ditzy-ish reader, pining eddie, mutual pining, confessions, first kisses, fluff and hugging, idiots in love, mild states of undress
˚‧꒰ა ✮ ໒꒱‧˚
It’s a day fit for a funeral in Hawkins. Rain hammers his bedroom window like hailstones, plinking against the frame, condensation running down the panes in thick rivulets he soaks up with an old t-shirt. 
It’s supposed to be spring time. Green grass, flowers, a gentle humming sun to warm the back of his neck while he sits out on the couch on the porch, a hand-rolled cigarette between his fingers, the tip shimmering with heat. 
But the rain pours. He’s cleaned his room for the first time in a month, at least, and his back aches in the best way as he lays down amongst fresh sheets. His room feels strange when it’s organised, but he doesn’t mind. He pictures the state of it through a second pair of eyes. This is a boy who cares about things, who takes care of them, who could take care of me, too. 
Rain again rackets on the metal roof above. He and Wayne keep a couple hundred bucks stashed for the day the roof flies straight off —they take turns hiding it, because cars break down and groceries get more expensive every year, but god will they need it, and so they safeguard it well. 
He syphoned a little of the money recently with Wayne’s support. It was for a good cause. 
“Jesus,” Eddie murmurs to himself, not tired but feeling dull as the clouds outside eat the remaining sun. 
It’s depressing to be poor, and to lose a day trying to hide the evidence of an entire life in a small room. He could sleep a hundred years. 
He’s just finished pulling the sheets over his shoulder when somebody knocks on the front door. Wayne opens it three rooms away, the sound of the rain doubled. 
He gives a startling shout, “Ed! Your girl!” 
Eddie topples out of bed. Doesn’t mean to, foot caught in the bottom of the sheets and stuck as he scrambles to slide out of the mess. He’s begged Wayne not to call you that when you’re within earshot, but Wayne’s a mean (kind) old bastard (middle aged dad) who wants Eddie dead (happy, and in love). 
“Come on in, girl. You’re soaking.” 
“It’s raining.” 
“It’s pouring down. Did you walk here?” 
“Took my bike. Thought I’d get struck by lightning in the car.” 
“How’d you figure?” 
Eddie goes to grab the door handle and spins on his heel, staggering onto his bed and up against the wall, where a mirrored tray once used by Dio himself for rolling hangs from the wall. He checks his face in the polished surface, his warped mouth and nose, too small eyes, and swears to himself that one day he’ll get a real mirror with a fully-functioning reflective surface. 
Then he hops down off of the bed, causing a reverberation he knows traverses the entirety of the trailer floor. Eddie snatches a rare clean towel from his laundry chair and speeds down the hall. 
“Hello,” he says, more casual than he feels to find you unexpectedly in his house. “You’re soaked.” 
You give a sweet smile. “It’s raining out, did you not know?” 
Your hair is dripping, water racing down the curves of your face to collect at your chin. Eddie can see the smudges of your makeup where it’s washing off as he wraps a towel around you, kohl on your cheeks, eyelashes turned to half-diamonds and sticky-looking. You grin at being covered, taking the towel from his fingers before he can dab you dry. 
“Why didn’t you just call me?”’
“I can never remember if your phone number ends in three or four.” 
“Seven. I wrote it down for you a hundred times.” 
You rub your eyes and spread all manner of glitter and shadow over your skin. You wipe your neck and the glitter spreads like an alien rash. 
When you talk next, you shiver, “I lost it a hundred times, sorry. Is it okay that I'm here?” 
Wayne, who’s been watching with a distinct sense of amusement from the couch, lets out a chesty laugh. “Honey, it’s always okay that you’re here on my account. And it’s my house.” 
“It’s fine.” Eddie turns your shoulder so he can mouth over it without being caught. Asshole. 
Another laugh follows. Eddie would cut each of his fingers from his hand and then his hand from his wrist if it were something Wayne needed him to do, but that doesn’t make him any less of an opportunistic asshole. If there’s a way to fuck with Eddie, he tends to try it. He loves Eddie with all the tenacity of a father who loves his son, but Wayne got infected with little bitch disease or something and Eddie can’t cure it. 
“Can I please wash my face? I didn’t expect to get soaked.” 
“Didn’t you?” He regrets his flippancy quickly, leading you down the hall. “You could take a shower. What do you think?” 
You’ve never showered here, but Eddie’s trying to, you know, date you. Romance you, get to cherish you, however anyone wants to say it. And it’s not a war of attrition, just a natural escalation of sharing, or a minimising of boundaries. 
No, that’s pervy, isn’t it? 
“I mean–” He starts to correct himself. 
You interrupt with your answer, “Yes, please, do you think I could? But I don’t have anything to wear.”
“I have your purple hoodie in my room, and there’s gotta be a pair of sweatpants here that fit you,” he says. 
They’ve got a whole bunch of clothes here that floated in from somewhere else, Eddie’s other friends or stuff they’ve bought by mistake. He’s sure he can find something.
“You have my hoodie?” you ask, black kohl spreading across the towel as you wipe your cheek. 
Eddie only smelled it one time. When he’d realised you left it in his van he brought it in and folded it, waiting for the next time he’d see you to give it back, but that night he’d been getting out of the shower wondering if he could call you or if that was too soon, and your hoodie had been right there. So he stood there in his pyjama pants with his wet hair and he didn’t think about picking your hoodie up, he just did, and when he pressed it to his face it still smelled of your perfume. 
He put it back and felt like a loser for days.
“It’s in my closet, you left it in the van Monday,” he explains quickly, nudging you through the doorway of the bathroom. 
The Munson bathroom is teeny tiny but not unnavigable. There’s a shower pressed to the far wall that could squeeze in two people, their toilet to the right, a sink basin opposite that with a medicine cabinet and just enough room for a dirty laundry box that’s always, always full. 
Eddie opens the shower and turns it on. “It takes a while to get really hot but then it’s not hot for long, sorry. There’s my shampoo if you want it, and soap, and body wash. Sorry, none of it is super girly.” 
“Sorry sorry,” you say, pretending to hit him in the stomach. “What’s with all the sorries, handsome? I can’t wait to smell like a boy.” 
The way you say it. Eddie doesn’t know what it is, but it’s why he’s crazy about you. 
Probably shouldn’t tell you that as you're taking off your jacket, though. 
“I’ll be right back,” he says. 
Eddie heads out of the bathroom to their skinny linen cabinet hidden in the hallway. He grabs the last two towels from the middle shelf and takes pause, fabric starchy in his hands. Just be normal, he thinks, a pep talk from Eddie to Eddie. She hangs out with you all the time for a reason. She held your hand at the movies. 
Eddie’s in better spirits when he remembers that. Your hand in his, your ring pushing his ring further down his finger, your cheek touching his shoulder as you’d leaned in and asked if he wanted some of your popcorn. 
He opens the door without thinking, shower pattering against the perspex wall, your legs crossing tightly as he enters, turning yourself away from him.
“Woah!” you say, laughing.
“Holy crap.” The image of your red underwear immediately stamps itself into his mind as he pulls the door shut between you. They were really cute, red and white gingham, showcasing just the slightest curve of your– “I told you I was coming back!” 
“I thought you’d knock!” you laugh. “Sorry I flashed you. At least I had my shirt on.” 
At least, he thinks wryly, shoving his arm through the gap in the door, heavy towels pulling at his fingers. His head’s about to snap off, it's turned so far away from the door’s opening. “Here.” 
“If you wanna see me naked so bad you can just ask,” you tease. 
“Take the towels, loser.” 
You take the towels and he closes the door, preventing any more accidental creeping, and giving himself a reprieve. Gingham underwear. Wavy lettuce edgings kissing your skin. 
Holy fuck. Being a person is so lame, Eddie thinks. He wants to have a crush on you purely, and yet seeing the way you’d crossed your legs to hide from him, smiling, he can’t not think about kissing you —touching you. If he doesn’t get you laid out in his bed soon for some slow kissing he’s not gonna make it.
Eddie opens the strip vent above his window and prays it doesn’t flood his whole room. Clean, it doesn’t look half bad, he could bring you in here respectfully, you could stay the night without fearing for your life. 
You take a quick shower. He’s barely gotten over his nerves when you’re walking into his room, a towel around you, not a hint of shyness about you. 
“You didn’t bring me anything to wear,” you explain. 
Eddie just stares at you. 
“Eddie?” You wrap the towel tighter. “Come on, you’re staring at me.”
“Sorry.” His mouth is bone dry. 
“You have my hoodie, right? Just need some pants.” You cross your arm tightly across your chest. “I don’t usually notice when people are staring at me.”
“You aren’t usually naked in my room,” he says, genuinely and embarrassingly apologetic. 
“I’m not naked. Come on, please? Do I have to wait outside the door?” you ask with a laugh. 
Eddie stands up. Shakes his head hard, almost trips over himself trying to get to his dresser. He decides honesty will be best at this point, lest you think he has only one thing on his mind, “Listen, I’m sorry. I’m just in my head about something and I wasn’t expecting you to come out like that. It’s not right. You’re just… you’re really pretty.” 
“Thank you.” He can’t see you, sorting quickly through his middle drawer and all his miscellaneous pants for a pair he’s sure would fit, if he could just remember where it was. “What are you in your head about?” 
“What?” 
“Eddie, are you okay?” 
“No, no,” he moans, rubbing his face with his hand, ring scratching the bridge of his nose, “I’m not okay, princess, I’m overheating or something, Jesus Christ.” He finally lays eyes on the sweatpants he’d been thinking of, grabs your hoodie from the top shelf and drops them both at the end of the bed. “I’ll give you some privacy.” 
“I don’t have any underwear.” 
“And that’s something I can’t fix,” he says, leaving the room in a hurry. 
Eddie gets to the living room and keels over. His hair falls in his face, his shirt slides down his back. What the fuck is wrong with him? 
Wayne, sliding his shoes on in the recliner, gives a start. “What’s wrong?”
Eddie lifts his head, yanking hair from his face, the skin of his under eyes pulled down harshly. “Oh my god.”
Wayne wrinkles his nose. 
“No ones ever been such a pathetic excuse for a man before,” Eddie says. 
“Your dad’s in jail,” Wayne points out. “And not for the impressive stuff.”
“I’m pathetic.” 
“You’re fine. You’re not supposed to be not pathetic, you’re twenty.” 
“I’m twenty one.” 
“The extra year doesn’t mean much. I know you think you’re all grown up, but you’re still an idiot.” 
Wayne stands and shrugs on the jacket laying over the armrest. 
“Wait, where are you going?” 
“I thought you were definitely gonna ask her?” Wayne asks knowingly. That’s what Eddie told him, after all. “Next time I see her, Wayne, I’m asking her to go steady.” 
Eddie shakes his head. “You can’t leave.” 
“Eddie.” Wayne gestures for Eddie to stop slouching like some fiend from a bad horror. “Listen. I get that you’ve always been sort of… behind everyone, but that doesn’t mean you can’t do it. She likes you. She biked here in a hurricane.”
“What if she says no?” he asks. 
Truthfully, Eddie’s more scared of you saying yes. 
Wayne shrugs. “Girl like that’ll still be your friend after. It’ll be fine, okay? Do you need a hug before I go?” 
“No.” Eddie rubs his eyes some more, sore now from being touched. “Maybe.” 
Wayne crosses the room to give his shoulder a squeeze. “It will be fine. You’re great with rejection, Eds, but I have a good feeling about this one.” 
Eddie felt better about it, before he embarrassed himself staring at you. But Wayne’s right, even if Eddie’s read things wrong between you, he’s sure you’ll still want to be his friend. You and Eddie are the same kind of weird, though he’s more angry where you’re carefree. If everything goes wrong, you’ll probably just give an unnecessary apology and offer to braid his hair. Which will be torture, but Eddie’ll still say yes.
Wayne calls goodbye, and you shout, “Bye, Mr. Munson!” to which Wayne wiggles his eyebrows. 
“Get lost,” Eddie says. 
“Go make her a drink. I’ll see you later.” 
That’s not a bad idea. Eddie makes you a mix of orange and grapefruit juice with a couple of ice cubes and a plastic straw, your reaction predicted and then proved. 
“It’s a cocktail,” you say, pleased, sitting on the side of his bed. 
“It’s not a cocktail, just juice.” 
“Can I have some socks, please, Eddie?” 
Eddie passes you your drink, fingertips brushing. “Yeah. Anything else?” He pretends to be exhausted as he trudges back over to his dresser. 
You laugh and sip your drink. “No, I think you’re treating me quite well.” 
Eddie grabs a random pair and finally gets to sit down beside you, the dresser drawer left out, a spare sock fallen to the floor. You shuffle back into his pillows, propping your juice on his side table, and holding your hands out for the socks. Again, your fingertips touch his as he passes them to you. You seem to enjoy it, a smile lighting your face as you pull your knees up to put the socks on. 
“Thank you for waiting on me,” you say quietly. Not shyly, just quiet. 
“You’re welcome. Came all this way to see me, didn’t you?” He gives you a shove. You shuffle back further. “In the pouring rain.” 
“It felt important at the time.” 
“Yeah?” 
You get the socks on and don’t care about them once they're past your heels. Eddie does the honour of smoothing out the bands so that the elastic won’t dig into your skin, and when he’s done he can feel you looking at him heavily. You’re not one for continued eye contact, but you smile like you were waiting for it all day, like it’s a relief to see him. 
“Bad weather,” you say, slouching down. “I think I’m still wet on the inside.” 
“Gross,” Eddie says, pushing you over bodily to sit beside you. This isn’t new, he doesn’t need any nerves, and he’s grateful when they don’t come. “Here, I’ll pull the blanket over you.” 
“Can’t move,” you say, leaning back against the pillows.
Eddie stretches his legs out. You keep yours up, but you turn to his side, and before he can really make any sense of you, you’re dropping your face into his shoulder. 
“Are you still cold?” he asks, searching for the truth in your strange comment. 
You nod into his shoulder. “I’m freezing. The shower didn’t get very hot.” 
“Sorry,” he says, letting his cheek rest on your head. 
You lift your chin as he does it, his lashes pressed to your forehead, the two of you stuck together like two warped jigsaw pieces. You probably weren’t made to be together, but you make a nice picture, and you fit snugly now. That’s what Eddie thinks. 
This is the sort of moment that makes Eddie wanna ask you out. Maybe you’re just the best friend he’s ever had, but something about this closeness feels different. You wrap your arm around his stomach in a hug and he knows this is different. 
“It’s okay,” you say finally, sighing as you shift downward into his side, getting comfortable. 
“Please don’t bike here in the rain. It’s, like, torrential. You could actually get sick.” 
You feel warm where your body presses against his, but Eddie doubts that’ll make a difference if the cold already made you sick. The bike ride from your place to his isn't short. He covers your arm with his and tries to be your space heater, cheek sliding over your forehead. 
“Eddie…” You hug him with tenderness. Eddie’s reluctant to say cuddle, but it’s close. “This might be a surprise to you, but I think it’s worth the rain and the cold to see you. Especially when you do this.” 
“What am I doing?” 
“You’re rubbing my arm.” 
He hadn’t noticed his hand caressing up and down your arm where it rests on his stomach. 
“You make me feel amazing,” you say, dropping your face into his chest. 
That’s his last straw. Eddie gets both arms around you and cuddles you (it’s a cuddle, okay! he’s a loser!) to him, arms tight but not cruel. All this fuss and you’re finally laying on top of him. He decides he won’t ask you after all. He’s not that brave, and he doesn’t want this to end. 
Your legs fall onto him. You relax completely. Even after you shower he can smell your perfume. 
“You smell nice,” he murmurs. 
“It’s on my hoodie,” you murmur back. 
Right. Eddie should remember. 
“You make everything smell like you.” Even his van keeps your scent most days. 
“Too much?” 
“The right amount,” he says firmly. 
You lay on his chest for a while, just breathing. Eddie rubs your back, tells himself he will ask, actually, because he can’t imagine not getting to do this again. You might even stay over. He could live hours of this. He didn’t know having you lay on him could make him feel like this. 
He can’t believe you’ve never done it before. 
Rain pounds the window. Condensation drips down onto the sill. You let your legs stretch out flat and then manoeuvre to be laying half atop him, hoodie riding up your back. 
“Any warmer now?” he asks.
“Yeah, you’re warming me up.” You lavish in his arms for a moment, and then lift your face. “Oh, this is a bad angle.” 
“For me or you?” 
“For me, duh.” 
Eddie doesn’t think you could have a bad angle. He rubs at your upper arm as you start to shift. “You know, your bike has just as big a chance of getting hit by lightning as your car does. More, probably.” 
“You think so?” 
“It’s physics. So, please don’t do it again.” 
You hum. “Hm, should I risk getting struck by lightning, or spend the evening without you?” you murmur, your arm moving, moving slowly, your hand resting gently on the column of his neck. There’s something ironic in your voice, wry, but your eyes are warm. He’s paralysed. No one has ever spoken to him like you. “I think I’d rather get struck by lightning.” 
You stare at one another. He laughs. You join in, your thumb a pressure at his neck, and when you move up his chest to lean in, he isn’t expecting it. 
“We’re very close together,” you whisper. 
“Super close,” he whispers back. 
“…Eddie, can I ask you something?” Your eyes slip shut, your lips so close that something in him aches, just enough wit about him to cup your shoulders in his forearm. 
“Yeah.” 
He doesn’t sound half as calm as you do. 
“Would you… Do you think we could be official? Would you want that?” You tilt your head to the side. “Is that stupid?” 
“Official?” he asks, panicked, his eyes squeezed shut hard enough for a moment that they ache.
“Like, you’d be my boyfriend. I’d be your girlfriend. We’d be close like this all the time.” 
Eddie panics so hard he just says the first thing that comes into his head, “Like, we’d kiss?” 
“I hope so,” you say, your nose pressing against his, the tip to the side of his, and then against his nostril. The heat of your breath is hard to ignore. “What do you think?” 
What does Eddie think about it? 
He catches your lips in a slow kiss. Achingly slow, not even sure it’s a kiss until you reciprocate, and your fingers dig behind his neck to tease his hair. Your lips part against his, the heat of your tongue sudden and undeniable —Eddie didn’t know you had it in you. He squeezes you to him, attempting to crane his neck downward, reliant on your enthusiasm as you move up, as you use his neck to pull yourself closer. 
Your noses crush together, and it actually hurts. “Sorry,” he says, easing you back, “you okay?” 
“‘Nother kiss,” you say hopefully, distractedly. 
He can’t not give it to you. 
Your hand spreads flat against his chest and you kiss, you kiss, long and slow movements against him before turning your head to take it again. Eddie doesn’t always know what to do with himself, but he knows kissing, no matter what anybody might think about him, and he takes the lead. 
His hand screws into a fist against your hoodie, the slip of your back further exposed as you shiver into his mouth, a sound you shouldn’t make sweet on his tongue. 
You pull away, breath on his lips. “Wanted you to kiss me for so long,” you murmur. 
Eddie knows you’re not saying it to flirt, and that makes it worse. 
“I should’ve kissed you a long time ago,” he says roughly. 
“You wanted to?” 
“Yeah. Yeah, so much, I’m a loser about you–”
“I’m always a loser,” you interrupt, “but especially about you.” 
You scratch your fingers through his hair, encouraging his head down for another kiss. This one rougher but not rough, his arm slips finally behind your head where he’d needed it to be, hooking you in his elbow to keep you in one place. To kiss you soundly, without interruption. Your almost feverish ebbing inward is a dream, your nose rubbing up against his is a fantasy. 
His heart hammers and hammers at his ribs. 
You pull away to let him breathe. “You’re very excited,” you tease lightly. 
Eddie kisses you, breathless. He kisses you so much he’s surprised you allow it, but your thumb rubs his cheek, and he knows he’d been right all along. You want him like he wants you, with startling, mildly pathetic urgency. 
He feels like a fucking prince. Girl of his dreams in his lap, everything he wants, and he didn’t even have to ask. 
Eddie spends a week in bliss. You’re suddenly everywhere, all the time, attached to his hip or some other part of him, and he forgets for seven whole days that he bought you a ring. 
The rain dries up, the Munson emergency fund lives to die another day, and he remembers the ring only minutes before you’re knocking at his door. 
He trips over himself trying to answer it before Wayne, who’s taken to being as painfully embarrassing as is possible for one human being, can get it for him. 
“One day you’re gonna eat shit and break your nose,” Wayne says. 
Eddie yanks open the door. “Yeah, thanks. Hey, beautiful, what’s with the sunglasses?” 
You slide them down your nose. You’re a vision on his front step, not that you’d ever notice your own intrigue. “The sunglasses?” you ask, tucking them away. “What do you think they’re for? Three guesses.” 
He grabs your waist, leaning down out of the doorway so as to save Wayne the agony. “That’s smart,” he says, kissing you quickly in hello. “You’re funny. Need anything before we go?” 
“No, I’m okay. Hi, Mr. Munson!” you add.
“Hey, honey! How are you?” Wayne calls.
You look up into Eddie’s face with an obvious delight. “I’ve never been better.” 
Eddie grins back. 
He waves a quick goodbye to Wayne and then he’s out the door. You grab his wrist and practically dance him to the car, where you offer your keys, and he deigns to drive. From there it’s smooth sailing, familiarity with a better twist, Eddie driving with the windows down and your hands twined on your thigh. Things haven’t changed much since you asked him to go steady, there’s just a whole lot more of this. Touching, kissing, no weird guilt about staring. 
As it turns out, you’re as eager to be laid out in his bed as he is to lay you out. He’s never wanted to kiss you more, and now he’s allowed. 
“Eyes on the road.” 
He leans over to kiss your cheek. The sun has warmed your skin, and his kiss makes you smile. You look pretty no matter the weather. 
“Before we get there, I have something to give you.” He takes his hand from yours to slide the box from his pocket. He holds it up. “But you can only have it if you swear you’ll call me tonight before bed. No excuses. You know exactly what number to call.” 
“Ends with a three,” you say, nodding. 
He sighs. “No, it does not.” 
“I’m kidding! Two one nine seven, I have now committed it to memory.” 
Eddie pays attention to the road, though it’s clear and long heading out of the trailer park and into town. “That deserves a gift.” 
You’re back in your glitters today, a skirt to enjoy the fine weather, a button shirt with a cute triangle collar, you’re lovely as ever, if a tad much for some. Not Eddie. He loves the dark clothes, the tinkling bracelets, the fun way you smile like everything he says is a secret between him and you. People stare wherever you and Eddie go, but as long your arm is sewn through his he couldn’t care less. 
“A gift,” you say, smiling in your way, and taking the box politely. “I don’t think I deserve it for just remembering your number.” 
“You deserved it for less. It’s not much. You can pay me back in three or four amazing kisses. Right here.” He points to the tight juncture beneath his jaw. 
You attempt to lean over and kiss him immediately. He pushes you back, laughing, worsened by your own breathless laughter as you steal one exactly where he’d tapped. 
You settle back down, Eddie’s hand dropping kindly to your knee. “I wonder what it is,” you say. 
“Then open it.” 
“I am!” You pop the box open, it’s springing hinge snapping into place. “Oh, woah. Woah. Where did you get this?” 
It’s a slim ring, with a weirdly shaped band of quality metal around some cheaper but not totally worthless gemstones, of which there are three different colours: a topaz orange, a lime green, and a pinky-red ruby colour centre stage. They have nice cuts. It’s strange as you are, and he knew when he saw it you’d have to have it. 
“If I put it on my marriage finger, are we engaged?” you tease. 
“That one would be way heavier,” he says, giving you a squeeze. 
You slide it onto your middle finger and hold your hand up in the sunshine. It fits in with your other ring nicely, though it is, to Eddie’s pride, far prettier. 
He has half a mind to pull over and kiss each knuckle, but he’s trying to be less dramatic about you. It’s not working. 
“Thank you, Eddie. I love it.” 
“Best boyfriend ever?” he asks hopefully. 
To his mild fear but better pleasure, you climb up onto the console to press three quick kisses to his cheek and jaw, your hand under his ear holding him in tender place. “Best boyfriend ever. Even if you stare too much.” 
“How am I supposed to not?” he asks, with more weight than he’s intended. 
You speak matter of factly for the first time in your life. “I am going to cause an accident,” you promise, attempting to kiss his nose. “A bad one.” 
“Sit down, please.” He lets you kiss his nose, and then jabs you in the side. “Sit down, oh my god! That’s not funny, you’re so pretty I will total your car.” 
“Now who’s not funny?” 
You both laugh at the same time, the unfiltered, un-cute cackling of two idiots with the same sense of humour, and the same wealth of ridiculous honeymoon love. 
˚‧꒰ა ✮ ໒꒱‧˚
thank you so much for reading!! I hope you enjoyed. if you did, please consider reblogging or commenting!! thanks very much <3
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solxamber · 1 month ago
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Waaaah Cuteness aggression was so cool! Could you make a part 2 with Malleus, Rook, Lilia and Jamil? Thos Boys deserve all the love there is and I think the scenario would be funny. xD
Hope ur well and drink some water 💕
Cuteness Agression with: Malleus, Rook, Lilia, Jamil, Riddle, Leona
Part 1 with: Idia, Cater, Octatrio
a/n: requests are closed but the concept was so cute that i can't control myself lmao and added Riddle and Leona cause i'm down bad. and thank you and i will <3
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Malleus Draconia
Malleus Draconia was intimidating to most people. To you, however, he was simply too cute for his own good.
His regal demeanor, the way his eyes gleamed in the moonlight, the slight tilt of his head when he was curious—it all triggered an overwhelming, uncontrollable urge to smother him in affection. Of course, being in a relationship with the crown prince of Briar Valley came with expectations. Decorum. Restraint.
You ignored all of that entirely.
The first time it happened, you’d been walking together through the gardens late at night. Malleus was pointing out constellations, his voice low and melodic, when he glanced at you, his lips curling into a soft smile.
“Do you not find the stars enchanting?” he asked, his tone gentle.
It wasn’t the stars that enchanted you, though. It was him—his sharp features softened by the glow of fireflies, his kind, unguarded expression.
“Uh-huh, yeah, stars,” you said distractedly, before grabbing his wrist. “Malleus, come here.”
His eyes widened slightly. “Is something the matter?”
“Yeah. You’re too cute.”
Before he could protest, you dragged him off the path and into the shade of a tree.
“What are you—”
“You’ll understand,” you muttered, cupping his face and smothering him in kisses.
His breath hitched at first, his body stiffening, but he quickly melted into the affection. “Child of man, I—”
“Kisses now. Talking later,” you said, planting another kiss on the tip of his nose.
When you finally pulled away, Malleus looked utterly dazed. His cheeks were faintly flushed, his pupils blown wide, and for once, he seemed at a loss for words.
“…You are quite... spirited,” he managed after a moment. “I was unaware my presence inspired such... fervor.”
“Fervor? I call it love,” you said with a grin, pressing one last kiss to his jaw.
Malleus chuckled, the sound warm and low. “If this is your way of expressing love, I find it most agreeable.”
It became a regular occurrence after that. Anytime Malleus did something you found unbearably endearing—which was often—you’d whisk him away for a smothering session.
When he brought you a bouquet of perfectly arranged roses with a rare flower from Briar Valley nestled in the center? You kissed him until he forgot how to form words.
When he tilted his head in that adorable, inquisitive way, asking, “Why does Sebek insist on shouting so often?” You had to physically restrain yourself from dragging him into the nearest alcove right then and there.
Even when he was just being his usual princely self, you couldn’t help it. The way he carried himself with quiet dignity, his cloak billowing behind him like something out of a fairy tale—it all made your heart practically explode.
One particularly memorable moment occurred in the middle of a ceremony. Malleus, dressed in his ceremonial robes, stood tall and composed, his expression serene. But then, he caught your eye from across the room and gave you the tiniest smile.
That was it. Your brain short-circuited.
You grabbed his hand the moment the ceremony ended. “Malleus. Now.”
“Is something urgent?” he asked, tilting his head.
“Yes. You’re too cute and I’m about to lose my mind,” you whispered, dragging him behind a pillar.
“Child of man, we are still in public—”
“Shh,” you said, cupping his face and peppering kisses all over it.
Malleus froze for a moment before sighing, his hands settling on your waist. “You are relentless,” he murmured, though his tone was fond.
“And you love it,” you replied, grinning against his cheek.
“…That, I cannot deny,” he admitted, pressing a gentle kiss to your temple in return.
Despite his initial confusion, Malleus seemed to delight in your affection.
One evening, as you sat together in the Ramshackle lounge, he watched you with a soft, amused expression. “Do you truly find me so... endearing?”
“You have no idea,” you said, grabbing his hand and lacing your fingers together. “You’re the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. It’s criminal.”
Malleus chuckled, his thumb brushing over the back of your hand. “Then I shall endeavor to remain... criminally endearing for you.”
The sincerity in his voice made your heart skip a beat. “You’re too perfect,” you muttered, leaning in to kiss him again.
“And yet, it is I who am fortunate,” Malleus replied softly, holding you close.
If anyone had told you that the fearsome prince of Briar Valley would be so utterly smitten with your relentless affection, you wouldn’t have believed them. But here he was, letting you smother him in kisses without a single complaint.
To Malleus, your love was as enchanting as the stars he so often spoke of. And to you, he was the brightest star of all.
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Rook Hunt
Rook Hunt was accustomed to being noticed. Whether it was the way he carried himself with theatrical elegance or the poetic way he spoke, most people couldn’t help but take notice. But you—you were something else entirely.
You didn’t just admire him; you practically vibrated with cuteness aggression every time he flashed that dazzling smile.
The first time it happened, you and Rook were in the woods behind Pomefiore. He’d just finished a long-winded, flowery description of the autumn foliage, his emerald eyes sparkling with enthusiasm, when he turned to you with an expectant smile.
“Mon trésor, do you not find it magnifique?” he asked, gesturing to the fiery canopy above.
You didn’t even look at the trees. “You’re magnifique,” you blurted, already grabbing his wrist.
His brows lifted. “Ah? What is this sudden passion?”
“You’re too cute, Rook. I can’t take it,” you said, pulling him behind a cluster of trees.
“Ah, je suis flatté! But—” His words were cut off as you cupped his face and started pressing kisses all over it.
“Do you have any idea how unfair it is to look this good all the time?” you muttered between kisses.
Rook, to his credit, didn’t resist. Instead, he let out an amused laugh, his hands settling on your shoulders. “Ma chérie, you honor me with such fervent affection. I am truly overwhelmed!”
“Good,” you said, kissing the tip of his nose for emphasis.
When you finally pulled away, Rook’s cheeks were flushed, and his grin was impossibly wide. “Quelle passion! You are truly a marvel, mon amour.”
“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” you muttered, dragging him back to the trail. “Just stop being so cute, or I’ll do it again.”
“Ah, a most delightful threat!” he said, his laugh echoing through the woods.
It became a regular occurrence. Anytime Rook did something you deemed unbearably charming—which was often—you’d whisk him away for a smothering session.
When he recited impromptu poetry about the way the sunlight danced on your hair? You grabbed his hand and dragged him into an empty classroom.
When he surprised you with a bouquet of hand-picked wildflowers and a heartfelt sonnet? You tackled him onto the nearest bench and kissed him until you were both breathless.
Even when he was just lounging in the Pomefiore lounge, reading a book with his legs crossed in that infuriatingly graceful way, you’d have to physically restrain yourself from interrupting him.
One particularly memorable instance occurred in the Mostro Lounge. You were sitting with Rook and the rest of your friends, enjoying a rare moment of calm, when Rook leaned over to whisper something in your ear.
“You look radiant tonight, mon amour,” he murmured, his breath warm against your skin.
That was it. Your brain short-circuited.
“Rook. Come with me,” you said, grabbing his hand.
“Ah, but our companions—”
“They’ll survive,” you said, dragging him out the door.
When you reached a quiet hallway, you pushed him against the wall and immediately started peppering his face with kisses.
“Mon dieu,” Rook gasped, though his grin was nothing short of delighted. “You are relentless, ma chère!”
“And you love it,” you said, punctuating your words with a kiss to his cheek.
“That is true,” he admitted, his hands resting lightly on your waist. “Your passion is as boundless as the stars themselves.”
Rook, ever the romantic, seemed to thrive on your bouts of affection.
One day, as you sat together on the steps of Ramshackle Dorm, he turned to you with a curious expression. “Tell me, mon amour, what is it about me that inspires such... ferocity?”
You paused, considering his question. “Everything,” you said finally. “The way you talk, the way you smile, the way you somehow make everything look effortlessly elegant. It’s infuriating, Rook.”
He laughed, his eyes shining with amusement. “Ah, to be adored so fiercely—it is a privilege I do not take lightly.”
“You better not,” you said, leaning in to kiss him again.
Rook sighed contentedly, his arms wrapping around you. “Mon trésor, your love is a treasure beyond compare. To be the object of such affection... I am truly blessed.”
If anyone had told you that Rook Hunt—Pomefiore’s poetic, theatrical huntsman—would enjoy being smothered in kisses at every opportunity, you wouldn’t have believed them. But here he was, grinning like the Cheshire Cat as you showered him with affection.
And honestly? You wouldn’t have it any other way.
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Lilia Vanrouge
You always thought you had a pretty good handle on your emotions. Calm, collected, rational—those were the words you’d have used to describe yourself. But then, Lilia Vanrouge entered your life, and with him, your sense of self-control promptly packed its bags and left the building.
How could anyone expect you to act normal when he was that cute?
It started innocently enough. Lilia had been helping you tidy up Ramshackle Dorm one evening. He was humming some cheerful, old-timey tune while he dusted the bookshelves, floating effortlessly in the air as if gravity was just a suggestion.
You were trying to focus on organizing a stack of books, but every time you glanced up and saw his wide, mischievous grin and those bright, playful eyes, your heart would squeeze painfully.
Finally, you snapped.
“Lilia,” you said, your voice a little too tight.
“Yes, my dear?” he replied, flipping upside down mid-air to look at you.
“Come here,” you said, setting the books down with trembling hands.
“Oh?” He tilted his head, curious, but floated down to meet you. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” you said, grabbing his hand and pulling him towards the couch. “You’re just too cute, and I can’t take it anymore.”
Lilia blinked, utterly bemused, as you pushed him onto the couch and immediately started peppering his face with kisses.
“My, my!” he laughed, his voice lilting with amusement. “What brought this on?”
“You!” you said, punctuating your words with more kisses. “You’re adorable! How am I supposed to function when you’re like this all the time?”
Lilia laughed again, a sound so warm and joyful that it only made your aggression worse. “You’re quite passionate, aren’t you?” he teased, his hands resting gently on your shoulders.
“You have no idea,” you muttered, before resuming your assault on his cheeks.
From that day on, it became a regular occurrence.
Any time Lilia did something you deemed unbearably adorable—like floating upside down while carrying a tray of tea, or singing one of his nonsensical little songs—you’d drag him away to smother him in kisses.
Lilia, of course, thought it was hilarious.
“Is this what the you'd call ‘cuteness aggression?’” he asked once, as you squished his cheeks between your hands and kissed the tip of his nose.
“Yes,” you said, not pausing in your efforts.
“Fascinating!” he said, his crimson eyes sparkling with mischief. “I didn’t realize I had such an effect on you.”
“Oh, don’t act like you don’t know exactly what you’re doing,” you grumbled. “You’re impossible, Lilia.”
“And yet, you adore me,” he said, grinning cheekily.
You sighed, exasperated but hopelessly smitten. “Yeah, yeah. Don’t let it go to your head.”
One day, you were sitting in the Diasomnia lounge, trying to read a book while Lilia floated lazily around the room. He wasn’t even doing anything particularly remarkable—just flipping through a magazine—but every now and then, he’d let out an amused hum or a soft chuckle, and it would send your heart into overdrive.
Finally, you couldn’t take it anymore.
“Lilia,” you said, standing up abruptly.
“Yes, my darling?” he said, peering over the top of his magazine.
“Come here.”
He raised an eyebrow, a teasing smile already forming on his lips. “Feeling overwhelmed again?”
“Just shut up and come here,” you said, grabbing his wrist and dragging him out of the room.
Sebek, who had been studying at the nearby table, sputtered indignantly. “Human! What are you—”
“Later, Sebek,” you said, waving him off.
Once you were alone in the hallway, you wasted no time. Pulling Lilia close, you buried your face in his neck and started pressing kisses along his jawline.
“Goodness,” Lilia said, though his laughter made it clear he wasn’t exactly complaining. “You really are incorrigible, aren’t you?”
“You love it,” you mumbled, your voice muffled against his skin.
“That, I do,” he admitted, wrapping his arms around you.
Lilia might have been a centuries-old fae with countless stories and secrets to his name, but in your eyes, he was just your incredibly cute, endlessly lovable partner. And if that meant you had to drag him away for impromptu affection sessions on a regular basis, so be it.
Besides, judging by the way he always laughed and kissed you back, you had a feeling he didn’t mind one bit.
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Jamil Viper
It started as a typical day at NRC: chaotic, mildly life-threatening, and somehow made worse by your inability to contain yourself whenever Jamil Viper was within a 10-foot radius.
You’d known for a while that Jamil was attractive—his sharp features, calm demeanor, and the way he moved with quiet precision made it hard to miss. But it was the little things that tipped you over the edge. Like the way his hair swayed when he walked, or how he absentmindedly hummed while chopping vegetables in the kitchen. The final straw? The rare moments when his lips would quirk into a tiny, private smile.
Every time you saw him, the urge to grab him, kiss him senseless, and smother him with affection became overwhelming.
And today was no different.
You were sitting in the lounge at Scarabia, watching Jamil supervise a group of first-years trying (and failing) to prepare a dish. He leaned against the counter, arms crossed, an air of quiet authority radiating from him.
But then it happened.
He sighed, shaking his head as he stepped in to salvage the mess. His hair swung over his shoulder, catching the light, and the faintest smile tugged at the corner of his lips as he muttered something about "how hard is it to chop onions properly?"
Your brain short-circuited.
Before you knew it, you were on your feet.
“Jamil,” you said, your voice slightly too loud.
He looked up, one eyebrow raised. “What is it?”
“Come with me,” you said, grabbing his wrist and pulling him towards the hallway.
“What—hey, wait a second,” he protested, glancing back at the confused first-years. “I’m in the middle of—”
“Later!” you said, dragging him into an empty corridor and shutting the door behind you.
“Do I even want to know what this is about?” he asked, crossing his arms and giving you a skeptical look.
You didn’t answer. Instead, you cupped his face in your hands and started peppering kisses all over his cheeks, nose, and forehead.
“Wha—!” Jamil stiffened, his ears turning red. “What are you doing?!”
“You’re too cute, and I can’t handle it!” you declared, kissing the tip of his nose for emphasis.
“...Cute?” he repeated, his voice a mix of disbelief and exasperation.
“Yes, cute!” you said, moving to his jawline. “How are you this adorable and this oblivious? It’s not fair!”
“Oblivious?” He frowned, though the pink dusting his cheeks betrayed his flustered state. “I’m not—this is ridiculous.”
“You’re ridiculous,” you countered, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him into a tight hug. “Ridiculously cute.”
Jamil groaned, though you could tell he wasn’t actually upset. “You’re impossible,” he muttered, his hands resting hesitantly on your waist.
“And yet, here you are, letting me smother you with affection,” you teased, pulling back just enough to plant a kiss on his lips.
That finally broke him. He let out a soft laugh, shaking his head as his arms tightened around you. “I don’t know what I’m going to do with you,” he said, though there was a warmth in his voice that made your heart flutter.
“You could start by kissing me back,” you suggested cheekily.
“...Fine,” he said, his lips curving into a small, genuine smile before he leaned down to kiss you properly.
Over time, Jamil got used to your random bursts of affection—well, as much as someone like him could get used to it.
One afternoon, he was studying in the library when you walked in, spotted him, and immediately felt the familiar wave of cuteness aggression wash over you.
“Jamil!” you whispered loudly, earning a warning glare from the librarian.
He looked up from his book, his expression wary. “Don’t even think about it.”
“Too late,” you said, grabbing his hand and pulling him out of his chair.
“Do you have any self-control?” he asked, though he didn’t resist as you dragged him into the nearest empty study room.
“Not when it comes to you,” you admitted, grinning as you pushed him against the wall and started kissing him all over again.
“You’re incorrigible,” he said, though his voice was softer now, his hands resting on your shoulders.
“And you’re perfect,” you replied, kissing the corner of his mouth.
Jamil sighed, but the faint smile on his lips betrayed his true feelings. “You’re lucky I like you.”
“Oh, I know,” you said, leaning in for another kiss.
And despite his grumbling, you could tell he didn’t mind one bit.
It was a quiet morning in Scarabia, the kind where the golden sunlight filtered through the ornate windows, casting patterns on the tiled floors. Jamil had just finished his early chores and was enjoying a rare moment of peace, sitting at the dining table with a cup of tea.
You, however, had other plans.
You had woken up early, groggy but immediately aware that Jamil wasn’t beside you. After a quick search, you found him in the dining room, looking effortlessly handsome as he sipped his tea. His hair was still slightly damp from a morning shower, and the soft lighting only made him more unfairly perfect.
It hit you like a tidal wave: the urge to smother him with affection was too strong to resist.
Jamil glanced up as you approached, a slight smile tugging at his lips. “Good morning,” he said.
“Morning,” you replied, trying to keep your voice steady. But the way he tucked a strand of his hair behind his ear, paired with the serene look on his face, made you snap.
Without a word, you pounced.
“Wha—hey!” Jamil barely had time to set his tea down before you climbed onto his lap, wrapping your arms around his neck. “What are you doing?”
“You’re too cute!” you declared, pressing kisses to his temple, cheeks, and jawline.
“It’s seven in the morning,” he said, exasperated but not pushing you away. “Can’t you wait until I’ve had at least one full cup of tea?”
“Nope,” you said, smiling against his cheek. “You’re cuter than tea, and I need my morning dose of Jamil.”
He sighed, though the corners of his lips twitched upward. “You’re insufferable,” he muttered, his hands instinctively finding their way to your waist to steady you.
“And yet, you’re still letting me do this,” you teased, brushing your nose against his before planting a firm kiss on his lips.
“Because if I stop you, you’ll just pout and make it worse,” he said, though his voice was tinged with amusement.
“Exactly,” you said smugly.
Jamil shook his head, a quiet laugh escaping him. “You’re unbelievable.”
“And you love it,” you shot back, peppering kisses along his jawline.
“Unfortunately for my sanity,” he admitted, finally giving in and pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. “Yes, I do.”
You beamed, your heart swelling at his rare show of affection. “See? This is why you’re the best boyfriend ever.”
“Am I?” he asked dryly, though there was no hiding the warmth in his tone.
“Absolutely,” you said, pulling back just enough to look into his eyes. “And you’re lucky I like you.”
The words, a playful echo of what he often said to you, made him chuckle softly. “I suppose I am,” he said, his gaze softening as he leaned in to kiss you again.
The moment was perfect—quiet, intimate, and filled with a warmth that lingered long after you finally let him finish his tea.
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Leona Kingscholar
It was midday, and Leona had naturally gravitated to his favorite pastime—napping. The way the golden sunlight filtered through the windows, casting a glow on his skin and tousled hair, made him look like a scene out of a painting.
You should’ve left him alone, let him nap in peace.
But no. You weren’t strong enough.
“Leona,” you whispered, crouching beside the couch where he lay sprawled out.
One eye cracked open, his voice a low, lazy rumble. “What d’ya want? Can’t a guy nap in peace?”
“Not when you look this cute,” you said, voice strained as you wrestled with your cuteness aggression.
His eye narrowed suspiciously, but before he could move, you pounced. Your arms wrapped around his shoulders as you planted a flurry of kisses on his face, starting with his cheek, then his forehead, then the bridge of his nose.
“Oi! Get off, you crazy herbivore!” he protested, but his laughter betrayed his words.
“Not until you stop being so perfect!” you declared, squishing his face between your hands to kiss him properly.
Leona groaned, but he didn’t push you away, even as he tried to keep up the act of annoyance. “You’re lucky I like you,” he muttered.
“And don’t you forget it,” you teased, giving him one last peck before finally letting him breathe.
You had spotted him in the dining hall, casually sitting at a table and picking at a plate of meat with that trademark nonchalance. His ears twitched slightly at the sounds around him, and he occasionally flicked his tail, his every movement smooth and effortless.
It was unfair, really.
“Leona!” you called, practically running to him.
He glanced up, raising an eyebrow. “What now? Can’t I even eat without you harassing me?”
“Nope,” you replied with a grin. “Not when you look this cute.”
“Don’t start—”
Too late. You grabbed his wrist and tugged him out of the chair, ignoring his grumbling as you dragged him to a quiet corner.
“Are you serious?” he asked, looking half-annoyed and half-amused.
“Dead serious,” you said, cupping his face and peppering him with kisses. His ears flattened slightly as his cheeks flushed, but he still didn’t stop you.
“You’re so embarrassing,” he muttered, though the small smile on his lips betrayed him.
“And you’re adorable,” you shot back, pulling him into a hug.
“Yeah, yeah,” he said, resting his chin on your shoulder. “Just don’t expect me to say it back.”
Leona had taken you to a quiet spot to watch the stars, a rare moment of tranquility for the two of you. He lay back on the grass, one arm behind his head, as he pointed out constellations with a lazy smirk.
You were trying to focus on the stars, really. But the way his voice rumbled when he spoke, the way his tail lazily swished back and forth, the way his eyes glimmered like jewels under the moonlight—it was too much.
“Leona,” you said softly, turning to look at him.
“Hm?”
“You’re too cute.”
His eyebrow twitched. “You’ve gotta be kidding me.”
“Nope,” you said, sitting up and leaning over him. “I have to kiss you or I’ll explode.”
“Sounds like a you problem,” he teased, but he didn’t move as you leaned down to kiss him.
The first kiss was soft, then the second, then the third. Before you knew it, you were practically smothering him with affection, and Leona was laughing—actually laughing—as he let you do as you pleased.
“You’re unbelievable,” he said, his voice warm with amusement.
“And you’re perfect,” you replied, grinning down at him.
“Yeah, yeah,” he muttered, pulling you down to rest against his chest. “Just stay here, you crazy herbivore.”
It was early morning, and Leona was still in bed, sprawled out like a lazy lion as usual. You had come to wake him up, but the sight of him—sleep-tousled hair, slightly grumpy expression, and one arm draped over his eyes—made your heart practically burst.
“Leona,” you said, shaking his shoulder gently.
“Go away,” he grumbled, pulling the blanket over his head.
“Nope,” you said, yanking the blanket off him. “You’re too cute, and I can’t deal with it.”
“Not this again,” he groaned, but before he could stop you, you climbed onto the bed and started kissing him awake.
“Oi! Quit it!” he protested, though his laughter made it clear he wasn’t actually mad.
“Never!” you declared, peppering his face with kisses. “This is what you get for being adorable.”
“You’re insane,” he muttered, though his arms came up to wrap around you.
“And you love it,” you replied, grinning as you kissed the tip of his nose.
Leona sighed, but there was a small smile on his lips as he pulled you closer. “Yeah, I do. Now let me sleep, you menace.”
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Riddle Rosehearts
Riddle Rosehearts prided himself on composure, discipline, and always adhering to the rules. He was Heartslabyul's steadfast leader, a paragon of order in a sea of chaos. But there was one thing he had no preparation for—you.
Your habit of getting cuteness aggression whenever you saw him was the one thing Riddle couldn’t figure out how to manage. Every time you dragged him away to smother him in affection, it left him flustered, red-faced, and utterly disarmed.
It started innocently enough that day. You’d been helping with the tea party preparations, setting out the sugar cubes in neat stacks, when Riddle appeared to check the arrangements. As always, he was dressed immaculately, his little crown on his head, and his expression firm as he inspected the table.
That’s when it hit you. The way his eyes narrowed slightly in concentration and how his gloved fingers adjusted a teacup ever so slightly made your heart explode.
You couldn’t take it anymore.
“Riddle,” you called, voice dangerously sweet.
He paused, glancing at you over his shoulder. “Yes? Is something—oh!”
Before he could finish, you grabbed his wrist and tugged him toward the maze, ignoring his startled protests.
“W-What are you doing?” he stammered, struggling to keep up as you dragged him down a secluded pathway.
“You’re too cute, and I can’t handle it,” you declared, finding a quiet spot among the roses.
Riddle blinked at you, completely taken aback. “I—What are you talking about? That’s absurd!”
“You’re absurdly adorable,” you corrected, cupping his face in your hands. His cheeks were already dusted with pink, and you knew you were about to make it worse.
“Stop this at once!” he tried to say, but his voice faltered as you peppered kisses all over his face. His cheeks, his forehead, the tip of his nose—you didn’t leave an inch untouched.
“Hey—” he spluttered, his hands hovering awkwardly by his sides as if unsure whether to push you away or pull you closer. “Th-This is highly improper! We’re supposed to be preparing for the tea party!”
“We can’t have a tea party if I’m dying from how cute you are,” you countered, pulling back just enough to give him a cheeky grin. “This is life-saving first aid.”
Riddle’s lips parted, clearly about to deliver a stern lecture, but the words never came. Instead, he sighed, his shoulders slumping in defeat. “You’re impossible,” he muttered, though his voice was softer now.
“Impossible to resist?” you teased, leaning in to kiss the corner of his mouth.
His face turned an even deeper shade of red, but this time he didn’t argue. Instead, he let out a small, exasperated laugh, shaking his head. “You’re utterly ridiculous.”
“And you love it,” you said confidently, wrapping your arms around his waist.
“I—” Riddle started to protest, but he stopped himself, glancing down at you with a reluctant smile. “Yes, I suppose I do.”
His quiet admission made your heart do somersaults, and you couldn’t help but squeeze him tighter.
Later, when you finally returned to the tea party preparations, Trey gave Riddle a knowing look as he noticed the slight smudge of lipstick on his cheek.
“You look like you’ve been... preoccupied,” Trey said lightly.
Riddle cleared his throat, hastily wiping his cheek with a napkin. “Nonsense! Everything is perfectly under control.”
But as he adjusted his tie and avoided your amused gaze, you could tell he wasn’t fooling anyone.
Riddle was meticulously organizing the Heartslabyul ledger, his brow furrowed in concentration as he sat at his desk in the library. His diligence was admirable, but it was also your doom.
The way his fingers adjusted his pen with precision, his lips pursing in thought, and the faint pink tint on his cheeks from the afternoon sun streaming through the windows—he was just too much.
You didn’t stand a chance.
“Riddle,” you whispered conspiratorially, sneaking up behind him.
“Hmm?” he replied absently, his focus not wavering.
You leaned closer, your lips near his ear. “I’m going to lose my mind if I don’t kiss you right now.”
That got his attention. His hand froze mid-stroke, and he turned to you with wide eyes. “Excuse me?”
You didn’t give him a chance to argue. Gently grabbing his shoulders, you pulled him into your arms and planted a flurry of kisses on his face. One on his temple, one on his cheek, and a quick peck on his lips for good measure.
“You—” he gasped, his voice tinged with both embarrassment and delight. “This is a library! Have you no sense of decorum?”
“None whatsoever,” you admitted, grinning as you pressed another kiss to his nose. “You’re way too cute when you’re working. It’s unfair.”
Riddle tried to glare at you, but the way his lips twitched upward betrayed him. “You’re insufferable.”
“And you love it,” you said smugly, brushing your nose against his.
He huffed but didn’t push you away. “You’re lucky I have a soft spot for you.”
The sun was barely peeking over the horizon when you wandered into the Heartslabyul common room, groggy and still rubbing sleep from your eyes. You hadn’t expected anyone to be awake yet, let alone Riddle, who was already immaculately dressed and sipping tea by the fireplace.
The sight of him, with his perfectly styled hair and composed demeanor, made your heart flip. How could someone look so poised this early in the morning?
“Riddle,” you mumbled, walking up to him in a daze.
He glanced up from his tea, eyebrows raising slightly. “Good morning. Did you sleep well?”
Instead of answering, you plopped yourself onto the couch beside him and buried your face in his shoulder. “You’re too cute. It’s unfair,” you grumbled.
“Is that so?” he said, his voice carrying a hint of amusement.
You nodded against him, your arms snaking around his waist as you pulled him into a cuddle. “I need compensation for the emotional damage.”
“Emotional damage?” he repeated, chuckling softly. “And what form of compensation do you require?”
“Kisses,” you declared.
He sighed, though there was a fond smile on his lips. “You’re impossible.” But he leaned down anyway, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead.
“See? You do love me,” you teased, snuggling closer.
“More than you’ll ever know,” he admitted softly, his hand coming up to stroke your hair.
One lazy afternoon, you found Riddle tending to the roses in the Heartslabyul garden. He looked so peaceful, carefully snipping away stray thorns and inspecting each bloom with the utmost care.
You stood there for a moment, watching him, before the cuteness aggression hit you like a brick wall. His sleeves were rolled up, exposing his forearms, and there was a soft smile on his lips as he admired his work.
“Riddle!” you called, jogging over to him.
He turned, surprised by your sudden enthusiasm. “Yes? Is something the matter?”
“Yes!” you said, grabbing his hand and dragging him to a secluded corner of the garden. “You’re too cute, and I can’t deal with it!”
“Wha—?!”
Before he could protest, you wrapped your arms around him and began peppering kisses all over his face. His cheeks turned as red as the roses around you, and he looked utterly flustered.
“We’re in public!” he hissed, though he made no real effort to escape your grasp.
“Then stop being so adorable,” you teased, pulling back just enough to look him in the eyes.
He sighed, clearly torn between exasperation and affection. “You’re so infuriating,” he muttered.
“But you love me,” you replied, grinning.
“I do,” he admitted, his voice soft as he leaned in to kiss you properly. “Far more than I should, considering how insufferable you are.”
“Aw, you’re so romantic,” you teased, squeezing him tightly.
Riddle simply rolled his eyes, though the small smile on his lips said it all.
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Masterlist ; Part 1 with Idia, Cater, Octatrio
2K notes · View notes
pepperyduck · 2 months ago
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porcelain. toji f.
a/n: nsfw, angst?????? idk what this is really, just me yapping, very unhealthy boyfriend behaviors from toji, toji pushes ur buttons & makes you snap, DACRYPHILIA!!!!!, p in v. 18+ mdni.
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toji's always treated you as what he calls you; a doll.
no, he's never been the type to treat anyone delicately, but then there was you.
to him, you were but a fragile flower, asking to be crushed. toji's hurt a lot of people in his life. he would never hurt you. he never reciprocates the kindness of others, usually, but he couldn't help but treat you with the same love and respect you showed him.
he knows the real you.
toji knows that even among the most precious, delicate dolls, their porcelain skin will begin to crack if you play with them too much. he understands that under your angel-like persona, there's something much darker.
he sees the abyss of emotions inside of you, when you begin to crack.
he's too rough with you on purpose. because he wants that monster inside of you to come out. to be shown to him, what you really are. and it's all for his own pleasure. just for him to break you.
he wants you to snap at him so he can treat you accordingly. and he's so happy when your tired of your buttons being pushed, in his own twisted way.
"fuck off, toji!" with a hard push to his chest was all it took to make him happy. it gave him an excuse to not treat you like a doll anymore, toss you around a little bit. make you cry.
as crazy and sick as he was, you enjoyed it even more.
not even thirty minutes after your action of defiance, he had you laid out under him, eyes glossy with tears while he slowly stuffed you with his cock. toji's lips twitched in a sadistic grin as you allowed the tears to flow, all while staring dangerously into his eyes.
"y'er gonna break my heart, doll," toji groans. "cryin' like a baby all 'cus you feel bad, aww." he's cooing and it's doing nothing but pissing you off; but the drag of his length against the soft walls of your cunt melt the anger away.
"shut up, toji," you grumble, blinking your eyes to clear them so you can get a good look of the condescending man above you.
yet as he hears your snappy words, toji rams his hips into you one good time, bouncing your soft body against the sheets of his bed. you're sure that singular stroke bruised your cervix. the sudden jolt of pleasure that courses through your body brings you to reality quickly.
please.
toji's change in demeanor towards you is slow at first. he's always been so careful. so gentle. all to not hurt you. right now, though, he needs it.
please, baby.
another particularly harsh thrust makes your eyes widen and you panic. you look into toji's eyes, but it's almost as if he isn't even there. his eyes are low, dark and filled with hunger. and anger and sadness, and pain. that same mess of emotions hidden under your sensitive shell is staring you right in the eyes. empty, like a doll.
"toji?" you squeak, earning another stab of toji's cock into your gushing cunt, "toji!"
"i'm 'ere, doll," toji says, though it seems a bit untrue, and his pace quickens too fast, right before your eyes. he's losing himself in his mind and in the feeling of how tightly you squeeze around him when you panic.
break for me. please.
he's begging.
toji can feel how badly you want it, how much you want him to lose control over you. his porcelain doll.
he knows that underneath your glass skin, you're just like him.
he knows it.
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nereidprinc3ss · 3 months ago
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do you believe me now? | 8
it's the morning after. spencer reid suspects you’re left with some doubts after losing your virginity to him. he has to figure out why—which is hard when you're keeping secrets.
series masterlist
this series is 18+ warnings/tags: fem!reader, blood related to losing virginity (dramatized for the drama duh), super vague allusions to the BAU being hungover, mild blasphemy if anyone even cares, pondering god bc am I really a fanfic writer if I don’t get a little religious w it, emily AND hotch are here and nobody knows why pls don't pay attention to that bc we are imagining like season 11/12 spencer and I'm inconsistent w who is unit chief in this series apparently, spencer slut lore, spencer emotional wounds lore, Spencer is a traumatic situationship survivor a/n: DADDYS HOMEEEEE (me and dybmn not spencer) anyway missed these little guys and am happy to be writing for them again!! idk what my upload schedule will becoming back to this but pls lmk what u think of this part, I have no idea how you will respond but I'm being brave and ily
Friday morning Spencer comes into the office fifteen minutes late (he tried his best), in yesterday’s suit (everything in his go-bag had been too wrinkled), hair messy (no doubt from your fingers), coffee cold (he’s exhausted) and overall, in an excellent mood.
The rest of the team isn’t faring quite as well—Spencer gathers they stayed at the bar celebrating Derek’s birthday a lot later than he had. It shows through sallow skin and dark circles and the grimaces he receives on the way to his desk that are probably supposed to approximate good morning’s. 
Honestly, he doesn’t mind the dull mood—he doesn’t need the teasing and the prying questions that would be sure to come if his co-workers were at peak performance and were able to put together his unusually perky demeanor and disheveled appearance. At least Prentiss doesn’t appear to be paying him any mind. She’s always the one who can read him like an open book and has no shame in doing so aloud. Echoes from years of, ‘so who was the lucky girl, last night, Reid?’ Still ring through his mind and it’s like he can feel her finger prodding at his side. 
The Emily of it all makes him smile, though the rest of the memory leaves a metal tang in his mouth. Back in those days, there were sometimes a lot of girls, but even then he was consciously aware he wasn’t necessarily doing something he enjoyed. He spent a lot of time, actually, staring at his bedroom ceiling, psychoanalyzing himself. Repetition compulsion. The insatiable desire to repeat or reenact emotionally painful experiences. Maybe he thought if he could teach himself to subsist off of emotionless hookups, he could in some way heal from his experience with Elle. Though, he’s hesitant to think of it now as healing—it’s not like he didn’t know what he was doing when a few nights after she said I don’t feel the same I’m sorry he opened up his front door for her. It’s not like he didn’t know what he was doing every time after that. So, maybe heal isn’t the right word, when one doesn’t have the right to be injured. Or when the injuries are, in a manner of speaking, self-inflicted. At the very least he could tell himself that this time around, meaningless sex was a choice he was making for himself. Spencer hates when things just happen to him. 
But you—you’re different. You were a complete surprise. At first, a cute and unexpected complication. After a few painful and short-lived attempts at real relationships, Spencer decided he was simply not to be trusted with emotional intimacy of any kind, including that which inevitably develops from physical intimacy, and would resign himself to a life of celibacy. He tried not to like you, but you were just so damn likable. Magnetic, to use a trite and perfectly honest turn of phrase. All that to say: he doesn’t regret you at all. There is no filter of putrid shame or anguish over his memories of last night. 
Just you. Perfect. Starlit. Glowing softly around the edges like you’re not even real. 
I love you I love you I love you. A hymn with no melody. You, always reminding him exactly why he is decidedly not a man of faith. At least, not in the typical sense of the word. 
How God became the idol and not Mary is lost on him. That’s why, Spencer supposes, tapping an eraser on his desk, marriage and sex were forbidden for so many ecclesiastics. After all, if they knew what it was to love a woman, specifically to love you, he doubts they’d feel like spending much time in the pulpit. Love. Humans had that long before they had any gods. It’s primeval. It’s the most natural manifestation of devotion and worship. It will always have come first. Isn’t it a better kind of religion when a man realizes he can kneel in front of a woman rather than an altar?
A heavy hand falling on his shoulder jolts him from his theological musings—which are in all practicality useless. What’s that saying about blasphemous thinking on the FBI’s dime? Right. There isn’t one. 
“I’m scared to ask,” Morgan says as Spencer jumps slightly in his chair. 
“What?” He mumbles, looking up from the document he’d only sort of been reading.
Morgan just looks at him, strong brows furrowed and a ditch between them, angles his head and glances to the side as if Spencer is missing the obvious. He almost follows Derek’s eye-line. When that doesn’t work, Derek just says your name. Like your status is somehow in question. 
“Did you two work things out, or not? It looked pretty bad when you guys were leaving last night.”
People often misunderstand an eidetic memory. It’s not like things can’t slip his mind—Spencer can actually be quite forgetful. It’s made worse by the fact that last night at the bar feels like months ago. For a moment, he has no idea what Derek is referring to. 
“Oh. Oh! Right, we—right. Yeah, we, uh—we worked it out.” Before Derek has a chance to read his face, no doubt as incriminating as his fumbled speech and an ill-timed throat clearing, he turns back to his paperwork. “Thanks for keeping an eye on her at the bar. I appreciate that.”
It’s quiet for a moment, and Spencer’s lips twist as he can feel the incoming inappropriate comment. 
“Is that the same suit you were wearing last night?” Morgan quips, his wide grin audible. Spencer can practically hear the cartoon gleam of his friend’s bleached teeth. 
“No.”
“You dog.” Derek is still smiling as he claps Spencer’s shoulder again. “What did you say to her that worked so well?”
Spencer clears his throat again and tries to look extremely involved in logging onto his computer, speaking quickly as if he’s beyond disinterested and can’t wait for the exchange to be over. 
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m actually trying to work so if you wouldn’t mind going back to your desk that would be great.” 
“Uh-huh. I’ll let you work. But I see you, pretty boy.”
Spencer tries not to blush like a teenager as he refuses to look up. 
Naturally the rest of the day is a slow descent into dread and madness as all those good feelings with which Spencer had started his morning begin to harden into something much worse, chilled by your lack of response to the text he sent you earlier. Which was essentially a rehashing of the note he left on your bedside table. 
Maybe it was too much. It should’ve been one or the other, but not both. He’s overwhelmed you. 
Okay, so maybe this is what religion is for. A last ditch effort when you can’t talk to your girlfriend so you have to try talking to God. 
But Spencer knows you, and he knows something is wrong. You wouldn’t just ice him out so blatantly if everything was okay. He catches himself glancing up toward Hotch’s window to see if the blinds are drawn, and considers faking an illness to get out of work early and go check on you. But he powers through the remaining hour and a half that he is obligated to stay at work, he bounces a pencil between his fingers, drums at his desk, and gets nothing else done. As soon as 4:59 rolls around, he’s out. 
Spencer can hear shuffling on the other side of your door as he stands in the hallway. A pot clatters. The walls hum with the rush of water through the pipes to your sink. He knocks, relieved that you’re okay and at the same time struggling with that weight on his chest—something cold that leans over his shoulders and whispers into his ear—so she just didn’t want to talk to you. 
Suddenly all sound from inside your unit ceases. For a few long seconds, Spencer’s confusion only grows exponentially. 
“Who is it?” You finally call, voice wavering. Also odd. Usually you just open the door. 
“Um… Spencer?”
“As in my boyfriend Spencer?”
He frowns, bottom lip jutting out ever so slightly as he tries to decipher your sudden paranoia. “I hope so?”
The click and jingle of several locks precipitates your much-anticipated reveal. 
“Come in,” you say breathlessly, more harried than usual and not giving him the tender greeting he’s selfishly become accustomed to—barely even giving him a second to look at you. But he steps inside, watching on in concern as you do up every single lock—the one on the knob, the deadbolt, even the chain. Is this really all because of his little comment last night about anyone being able to get in? He certainly hopes not. He didn’t mean to terrify you. 
When you finally turn, he takes stock of your appearance. Big hoodie, pajama pants patterned in little hearts. Hair pulled back hastily. Your skin is sort of dull where you normally glow. But you’re beautiful, like always. It always aches just a little bit to look at you. Spencer’s always been like that. Going breathless at a particularly good piece of art or pretty girl. Like yourself. Mostly you. 
You quickly turn to hurry back into the kitchen. “I was trying to make dinner, I—”
“Hold on,” he interrupts, stopping you with a hand on your stomach that is so non-demanding it’s really mostly a suggestion. He tries to clear his head, though you make it hard. “You didn’t talk to me all day. Not that you have to, but… I was worried.”
You glance at the floor and mumble, “I lost my phone,” with so much embarrassment he believes you’re telling the truth. “Did you, um—did you text me?”
Insecurity. Spencer knows well what it looks like on you. He softens. You weren’t ignoring him—but you’d been left in a vulnerable state without any ability to contact him or anyone. That couldn’t have been comfortable. 
“Of course I did.” He pauses to observe you. Still anxious. Still prepared to run at any second. Something, and he’s not sure what, did a number on you today. Maybe it’s sheer exhaustion, maybe it was the anxiety of not having your phone. But he has to figure out what it is so he can undo it. “What? What’s wrong?”
He watches your breathing pause—watches your eyes gloss over with tears and a frown contort your features. Oh, god. He’s done something terribly wrong. It’s been thirty seconds and he’s done something wrong. 
“Can we sit down? I don’t feel very good.”
“Yeah. Yeah, we can. Whatever you need.”
You cast a baleful look at him and now he has to wonder what that means. Spencer sets his bag on a pulled out dining chair and follows you to the couch where you settle on opposite sides—you’re curled up in the far corner, hugging a pillow to your chest with your legs folded in front of you. Spencer’s heart is beating fast. He doesn’t know what’s going on with you and he can’t figure it out just by looking and you don’t seem eager to tell him. 
He’s exhausted all his typical ways of collecting information, and now he’s at a loss. 
Eventually, the anxiety comes bubbling up. 
“Please talk to me,” he pleads. And you do. Almost instantly, like he stepped on some sort of landmine. 
“I know it’s my own fault for not having my phone on me and not being able to see your texts, but it really sucks that I had to find out from my creepy neighbor that you snuck out in the middle of the night without saying goodbye.”
The whiplash is so strong it’s almost a broken neck. Spencer reels, frowning deeply as he tries to process your impromptu speech, the sudden confrontation. What creepy neighbor?
“I… didn’t. I went to grab my stuff from the car around one, but I came right back. I left at 7:30. You don’t remember me saying goodbye?”
Your brow furrows, and your eyes dart over the design on the rug like you’re watching memories go by. He sees it in your eyes when you recall some hazy image of him holding your face, kissing your cheek more times than was necessary and whispering sweet things against your lips before he had to go. You shrink into the couch, clearly struggling under the combined weight of relief and embarrassment. 
“I forgot. I thought… he said…”
A moment passes and it’s clear you’ve abandoned the sentence. Spencer is concerned about this shadowy male figure who put malicious untruths into your head. He slides his hand under yours and twines your fingers together. Finally, finally you meet his gaze. 
“Someone made you believe I left without saying goodbye.”
And he almost wishes you weren’t looking at him as more tears pool before falling down your cheeks. You nod, and don’t make a sound. 
“No, honey. I didn’t do that. I’m sorry that’s what you’ve been thinking all day.”
“I was worried that you… or that I wasn’t…”
His chest aches. You’d woken up alone, no recollection of his goodbye, and without the comfort of even a text. 
“You didn’t see my note?”
The way you look at him then is heartbreaking. Eyes wide and wet and sad, lip trembling. 
“You left a note?”
Murphy’s Law. Anything that can go wrong, will. 
It must’ve fallen off the bedside table, or maybe he just hadn’t positioned it obviously enough. 
A lost phone, a missed note, and not even a memory of his departure. While none of these things are verifiably Spencer’s fault, he feels so, so guilty. 
“I did,” Spencer says gently, scooting closer and pulling you into him, head pressed to his shoulder as you try not to cry, and he rubs your back slowly. 
Your sulky words are muffled by his shirt. “I didn’t see it. What did it say?”
“A lot of very nice things about you,” he whispers. Spencer thought maybe he could get away with giving you all the sincere compliments you can’t accept face to face through a note you could read while he wasn’t around. That way you couldn’t refute them or stop him. It was a good plan. 
He feels the sigh of relief leaving your body against his neck. 
“I didn’t know.”
“I know. I’m sorry. That’s not… I should’ve just stayed. This is my fault.”
You keep your cheek pressed to his shoulder as you speak. 
“It’s not. You have a job. A really important job. You can’t just call out whenever I want you around.”
Logically he knows you’re right, but he doesn’t always think logically around you. 
“I could’ve made it work. I could’ve come in late, or the team could’ve called me if there was a case, which there wasn’t—”
“Spencer, it’s okay. It’s not your fault. Don’t worry about it.”
He pulls back slightly, frowning at your tone. You do look relieved, much less plagued than you’d been when he arrived minutes ago, but something heavy still weighs you down. The burden of it darkens your eyes and dulls your expression. When he cups your cheek, you glance up at him, and then away once more. 
He speaks softly. “Is that all you wanted to tell me?” 
Again he earns a moment of your eye contact, but it’s fleeting. He watches the words spin around your head as you try to figure out what to do with them—and then choose to remain silent. 
There is in fact something you’re keeping from him. 
Spencer hates to use work tactics on you, but he doesn’t speak either, hoping that you’ll feel compelled to fill the silence with the truth. Knowing how you’re not entirely comfortable with quiet. 
And you try, lips parting and the sound delayed as you wrestle with something you clearly don’t know how to talk about. 
“I… my neighbor,” you say, frowning like you don’t quite know why you’re speaking. “The one who told me he saw you leaving in the middle of the night. He also—he said…”
Spencer brushes hair away from your cheek with a thumb, stroking the high point in gentle passes as your words taper off. Now that he’s thinking about it, he did encounter a man in a dumpy robe standing in the courtyard and smoking a cigarette when he left you tangled in sheets and dozing contentedly to get his bag from the car. In fact, they rode back up to your floor in the elevator in mostly awkward silence. Spencer was sure his outfit told a story—shirt untucked and hastily buttoned only partway, no belt, shoes barely tied, duffel slung over his shoulder—he wasn’t really expecting to run into anyone at such an hour, to be honest, but he hadn’t particularly cared what this man thought of him, so it didn’t cross his mind again.
Now he remembers. 
Long night, huh? I remember those days. 
It was an inappropriate comment, but given his job he’s used to ignoring those. Mostly his mind had been preoccupied with the idea of returning to you, who gave him such a warm and sleepy welcome when he climbed carefully back into your arms several minutes later that it was like he’d never known anyone else at all. 
Now he resents that he hadn’t said anything, he hates the idea that you spoke to this man and he said something to upset you and Spencer wasn’t there. Usually he tries not a judge a book by its cover (metaphorically, of course) but he’s been around enough bad men to know when he’s looking at one. Last night he hadn’t even been cognizant enough to realize they got off on the same floor. 
“What did he say, angel?” Spencer whispers, incapable of being anything but soft with you at the moment. Even though he senses something a lot like a tide of preemptive anger rising in his chest, painted over with layers of anxiety and guilt. He should’ve found a way to stay with you this morning. 
You sniffle and let your head fall again, forehead resting against his collar. Instinctively his hand slides to the back of your neck and even at the awkward angle he finds a way to press his lips to yours hair. “Can we talk about it later? I don’t feel good.”
If it’s making you this uncomfortable, Spencer really wants to know what passed between you and this neighbor. In fact, he’d be willing to bet a lot of your strange behavior this evening stems from something that occurred which you don’t feel comfortable telling him yet. But he manages to bite back anymore questions. He doesn’t want to make you feel interrogated. 
“Yeah, you mentioned that,” he says eventually, kindly, hand tracing down the length of your back and up again. “Why don’t you feel good?”
He doesn’t miss the way you reach up to discreetly wipe your cheek. But he won’t make you talk about anything you don’t want to talk about until you’re ready, and it seems like you’re already having a rough day. Which is not what he wanted. This is so far from what he wanted for you. He’s cursing himself for how he handled this whole situation. 
“Um, I just… I don’t know. I feel… bad. I’m sorry I’m being so weird.”
“You’re not being weird, honey. You had a hard day. You’re having a normal reaction to an abnormal set of circumstances.”
You sit up, sniffing and wiping your tears like you can just make the whole thing go away. 
“No, I am. I am. It’s all okay now, right? So I don’t know why I feel like this. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”
He watches helplessly. “Nothing is wrong with you. We’ve… it’s been a big couple of days. Mostly good, but I think you’re probably really tired. Emotionally and physically.” 
You bury your face in your hands and nod silently. He still feels like he’s shooting in the dark, but you’re not entirely comforted yet, and it’s killing him. 
“Whatever you’re feeling is okay. If this is… about last night, or this morning, or something entirely different—regardless of what it’s about, you’re not going to be… in trouble with me if you’re having complicated feelings. And you can talk to me. But it doesn’t have to be right now. We don’t have to figure it out all at once, okay?”
You press the heels of your palms into your eyes, and for a moment, his words sink into silence. When you do raise your head, nodding, the evidence of your discomfort is all over your face—reddened eyes, cheeks polished with wiped tears. But you take a deep breath and try to project whatever it is you think he wants to see. 
The back of your hand is soft under his thumb as he sweeps it, as if he could draw forth more information that way. People speak when they’re ready.
“Is there anything I can do?” He tries, all ramped brow and soft spoken. 
You’re looking at where he’s tracing swirls on your hand as you swallow and blink the last of your tears away. 
“Um… you can say no, but—do you think it would be okay for you to maybe stay again tonight?”
Spencer sucks in a breath, painfully aware that he’s about to let you down. 
“I… I haven’t been home in a week. I’ve been wearing this suit for two days straight and I don’t think I would want to share a bed with me again until I shower.” He watches you wilt and lifts a hand to stroke your hair. “But I do want to spend time with you… do you maybe want to come stay with me instead? No pressure—”
“Okay. Yes. Is that okay?”
Spencer’s brow knits. You seem even more enthused about the idea of going to his apartment, like now that the opportunity has presented itself you can’t wait to get out. Maybe you have some sort of black mold problem. 
“Of course. Do you wanna grab a few things and then we can go?”
“Um—I also haven’t showered today. Do you mind waiting?”
“Sure. Or you could use mine. With supervision, this time.”
Spencer is attempting to make a joke about your unplanned (and unmoderated) stay at his apartment last week after he left—but looking at your face now he’s wondering if he touched a nerve. 
“Like… one at a time? Or…”
He thought maybe you’d be more comfortable around him after last night—and it’s not like he hadn’t seen you naked before then, either.
“Do you wanna do it one at a time?” He asks gently. 
There’s this sparkly sort of longing in your eyes that he’s seen before, but you tamp it down like always. You’re so cautious. About everything. Even the things you’re curious about. It’s sweet and a little sad. 
“I’ve never… showered with anyone.”
The corner of Spencer’s mouth twitches as he pushes hair over your shoulder. “I know. You don’t have to. We could save like 100 gallons of water depending on how long your showers typically last, but—”
“Spencer—”
“Sorry, sorry—I didn’t—I didn’t mean it like that. I’m not trying to pressure you. You absolutely can take your own shower. You can go first so you get the hot water.”
“No,” you laugh, and it’s like a sparkling cloud of gold has settled around you, fractals bouncing off the shine of your cheeks and eyes—the sound of your laughter, the look of it, is such beautiful relief he can’t believe how good it feels, but it fades from you quickly. “It sounds… I think I want to, I just… I don’t wanna, like… do… anything.”
For a split second your veiled language mystifies him and then he realizes what you’re trying to say without saying. Something has changed since yesterday, when you brazenly referred to it as fucking, and today, when you can’t even say sex. He’s gotten as far as it being something your creepy neighbor said. Maybe. He needs to know what. 
But that’s not the topic at hand. 
“We don’t have to. I didn’t mean to imply that we would do anything like that. I don’t expect anything from you.”
You swallow. 
“Okay. I wasn’t sure.”
About what?
He says your name. No response. 
“Can you look at me, please?”
It takes you a moment, and your head raises like you might need some oil in your hinges, but eventually you manage. Spencer hopes the way he’s rubbing your leg is comforting. 
“You know I’m never, ever going to make you do anything you don’t want to do, right?”
To his horror, your answer isn’t an immediate and resounding yes. Instead you look back down and cover his hand with your own, fiddling nervously with his fingers. 
Eventually, you reply, “Yeah… I know. I just thought… I’m not sure. Maybe it’s supposed to be different now.”
“It doesn’t have to be. Nothing has to be different. We’re still doing everything on your schedule, okay? And as for the next few days, at least—I think it might be a good idea to take sex off the table altogether.”
Your eyes narrow and you hesitate. “Why?”
“Because I don’t want you worrying about it. And I don’t think it would feel good for you right now. I think there are things we need to talk about, but… we’ve probably tried enough for a while, hm?”
You give him a shy nod and hum your agreement. For a moment he lets his hand linger on your leg and then pulls it back. 
“Okay. Do you want my help packing a bag, or should I wait out here?”
“You can wait. It should only take a minute.” You pause, halfway up to look pensive. “Um, Spencer—do you think it would be okay if maybe I… if I stayed tonight and tomorrow? I just—I wanna get out of here, for a bit.”
He frowns but doesn’t hesitate. “Of course. Can I ask why?”
“It’s just… suffocating sometimes,” you call as you turn and hurry down the hallway to the bedroom. “Feels like my neighbors are on top of me, like they’re… breathing down my neck, half the time.”
Sure, bigger apartments exist—but it’s not like you’re in a studio. And you’ve never mentioned feeling that way before. That bad feeling is starting to come back—like you’re not telling him something he needs to know. But is it worse to let you deal with it yourself until you’re ready to talk or to force it from you?
A few minutes later you return, a duffel of your own over your shoulder and full to bursting. 
“So I’m an idiot. My phone was literally in the pocket of my jeans on the floor.” You drop the bag as you bend down by the door to pull on your favorite slippers. “Oh—I think I forgot my charger, can you grab it? It’s by my bed.”
Spencer of course obliges, and is secretly pleased to be in your room again, in the light this time, so he can see better. It’s sweet. The pictures on the walls, the plants and the knickknacks and the sticky notes scrawled with messy reminders on every surface and the sweater hanging over the back of a chair—the one you’d been wearing at the cafe all those months ago—it all feels so you. He wonders why the two of you don’t spend more time here. 
He lets himself linger for only a minute before remembering his task, but as he reaches down to unplug your charger, whatever dopey smile he’d been wearing evaporates. The sheets have been stripped from your bed, and he can see why—there’s a striking stain of dried blood, and several surrounding dots, soaked into the mattress. Not much, but enough to make him feel horrendously guilty. He cringes, imagining what it must’ve been like to wake up all alone to nothing but your own blood. Poor girl. Of course he’d noticed some, last night when he was doing his best at cleaning you up, but it had been dark, and he was exhausted, and he hadn’t done enough. 
“Where’d your sheets go, baby?” He asks once back by the front door with his own bag on his shoulder, setting a gentle hand on your lower back and holding out your charger for you. You jump slightly, and he makes circles on your back, wishing there was something he could do to settle you. 
“Oh! They—they got ruined. I threw them out. It’s fine. I have others.”
So you didn’t have enough energy this morning to walk a few feet to your shower, but stripping your bed, getting dressed, and walking down to the trash chute at the end of the hall had been top of your priority list. 
You swallow as he undoes the locks and holds the door open for you, and pretend like you’re not doing surveillance to either side as you stand in the hallway, locking your door again like you can’t get out of here fast enough. 
Spencer casts a sidelong glance at you and wonders if you’re intentionally avoiding eye contact. He tries not to think like a profiler. He tries not to assign meaning to your actions, but he can’t help it. He can’t not notice. 
He can’t not worry. 
And he can’t not wonder what you’re not telling him. 
-
part nine
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bluetimeombre · 11 months ago
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✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ And I wouldn't marry me, either.
You were Azriel's mate, but it took losing you three times for him to realise.
[this is long. i'm talking 5k words long so i've split it into two parts. anyway, azriel is the best bat boy and no i won't hear anyone out. i'm so excited to write for him and hope you enjoy. it's very angsty but that's what i love. i hope i can write more for him and maybe other characters if you like. it's been a while since i've actually read the series so if any information is wrong, do let me know. also it was my first time using the term y/n and yes, i cringed NOT PROOF READ... enjoy]
warnings: references to sexual assault and references to suicide. nothing explicit but please don't read if this is sensitive to you.
Part 2 soon…
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✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧
The first, was the worst...
You were Rhys's half sister, the bastard daughter of his father. But when your mother had died giving birth to you, Rhysand's mother took you in and raised you with your brother and sister. You were so little and adorable that your sister loved you at once. Rhys did to, at some point of your life, you were sure he actually cared about you.
But when his mother and sister had died, his eyes shifted, he started to look at you with contempt. After all, you were only his half-sister. The worst half. He only kept you around because it's what his mother would have wanted.
And because there was no way Cassian and Azriel would ever let anything happen to you.
Besides, Rhysand knew when to use you.
Although Azriel was his spymaster, you were pretty good at staying swift-footed too. And you were frankly, very terrifying when you wanted to be.
You tread with power through the war camps, all of them looking at you as you went. All of their gazes wrecked with a predatory gaze. They either wanted to have their way with you, or kill you. Or both.
Rhys had said you could handle it, it was only supposed to be a check in. Cassian hadn't liked it, neither had Mor but it was Azriel who had almost- and for the first time- disobeyed his high lord to accompany you. But no, your brother wanted you to do this alone, so alone you would.
Just to show him you could.
'I can come with you,' Azriel had said, standing in your room as you tied your boots up. 'I won't even have to be seen.' At that, his shadows wrapped up your calf.
You smiled at them, as if they were his own pet. 'I'll manage just fine. Besides, i'm sure that's what Rhys wants, me needing a man.'
It had done nothing to calm your friend. The worry was still stuck between his brows, marring his handsome features. You'd held his cheeks, your wings hiding the two of you. His large ones (enough to swallow the both of you) over-lapped yours.
It was the last time you'd feel your wings.
The war camp wasn't as easy as you'd hoped. It was terror and horror in a place. You'd been to the court of nightmares, you'd gone to the slaughter of the spring court after they killed your family. But this, this was hell of another kind.
You had no idea how many days you'd been locked up, wrists bound in chains and hanging from the cell roof above you. Blood rolled down your arms from the force you'd tried to use to get them out. Your eye was swollen shut and your body trembled in pain.
All because they wanted to know your brothers secrets, and you wouldn't budge.
Your check was only supposed to be a day, but you were sure it had been longer. Days of endless pain and torture. Your uniform hung in rags of stripped material, your hair matted with blood and hiding your face.
You'd used the last of your energy to keep your walls up. You weren't anyone's mate, you didn't have anyone on the other end trying to feel what you felt. But should Rhys come looking (though you doubted it) you didn't want him to feel it. You didn't want anyone in your mind.
The gates opened with a sickening clash.
One of the Illyrian's knelt in front of you, his wings hiding those coming in behind you. 'Listen sweetheart. I don't want to make this any harder than it's about to get. All you have to do is tell us your brother's hide outs.'
You grit your teeth, staring down at the ground.
'So loyal, to a man who doesn't care if you live or die.'
Suddenly, your wings twitched as hands grasped them. Brute hands, the sort you wouldn't want touching any part of you.
Fear spiked in you, horror twisting your gut. 'What are you doing?'
'I told you I didn't want to get things messier, darling.'
You whipped your head from side to side, trying and failing to get a look at the assailants behind you. Your wings were being held apart, no matter how hard you tried to bat them away. You knew the sort of people they were, and what they did to girls like you.
That's when the begging started. 'No, no please. Anything. I'll do anything! Beat me, kill me, rape me, not my wings, please!'
'Anything?' the bastard asked, tongue poking out from his lips. 'Then tell me where your lord's hideouts are?'
You should betray him, you thought. He would never lose his wings for you. Perhaps it was stubbornness that kept you from, or maybe you were clinging to the last bit of love you want from him.
The bastard scoffed, 'anything, she says. Your brother has his own bitch wrapped around his finger.'
That's when they started hacking at your wings.
Your screams tore through your throat, blood spitting and dripping down your chin. Tears soon joined when they hacked away at the bone, the membrane, the flesh of it all. The three of them worked through your screams and your tears and your pain, tearing and cutting at it like it was nothing more than paper.
Not your whole life.
Let them hear you. You hoped your brother heard you, you hoped all and every court heard the pain.
Eventually, even you couldn't keep screaming. The only sound was the hacking away at your wings and the drops of blood.
'Now look at these beauties. I've got a perfect spot on my wall for these.'
They left you after that. There wasn't much more damage they could do. It already felt like they'd destroyed your life. You had never really thought about your wings, they were just part of you, as much as your wit or hair was. But they'd took it and now, you felt empty. Never would you fly with Azriel again, or use your wings to smack Cassian over the head.
Rhys, your dear brother, had took that from you.
The days blended in together after that. You were pooled in your own tears and blood, vomiting up anything they forced down your throat. No, they'd made it very clear they didn't want you dead. They just took pride in making it feel like you were.
At some point, you'd stopped reacting to the gate opening. You let them do whatever they wanted with you. Your wrists were still chained, arms still hanging up, your clothes hanging on your thin body in strips of dirt.
'No...' you heard a mumble. 'What have they done to you?'
Suddenly, the chains gave way and you lurched forward, with no strength to catch you. Luckily, you didn't have to, as strong and warm arms pulled you into his chest.
'Hey, wake up, look at me, dammit.'
Azriel.
You'd know the voice in the darkest days, in the pit of your worst nightmare you'd know.
You try to speak but your head's heavy, your lips are stone and your arms can't lift to hold onto him. You're exhausted, you're dying. The only thing you could do use all your strength to try to open your eyes.
'Please, please, look at me. You have to look at me,'
You were trying, you wanted to tell hm, snap at him, but you couldn't.
You felt Azriel shake, or maybe you were. Then, there was wet drops landing on your cheeks- you flinched.
'I'm sorry, i'm sorry. Rhys! Rhys! hurry up, please!' he was screaming. You'd never heard him scream before.
You heard the rush of feet at the cell doors, you knew it was your brother. You knew it from the presence of him, from the shuffling of feet and chocked sob. Your brother didn't cry, least of all for you.
'Her wings, oh mother, her wings,' said Azriel, his voice barley above that of a whisper.
Your wings. You didn't need reminding. They were gone, long and far gone. You were without a part of you, the very part of your soul that loved to be free. Never would you watch the stars up close or fly over everyone. Never race Cassian or make jokes with Az.
No, this would destroy you.
'y/n,' your half-brother called. 'No, y/n. Can you hear me?'
Your lips parted, mumbling. 'Hurts.'
Azriel's grip on you tightened. 'I know, we're gonna get you out of here, just hold on for me.'
You wanted to tell him you would hold on, you'd always need to hold on to him. That, no matter what he asks, you'd do it. To kill, to live, to breathe, to die.
And that's when it clicked. Amongst all the pain and the doubt. In your blood soaked clothes. In the fear you wouldn't make it, there was a tug. Weak and one-sided, but there. You knew you'd be safe with Azriel, knew you would always be with him.
Mate.
✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧
The pain subsided to a dull ache, there and beating but not excruciating. You were warm and covered in a soft material. Nothing like the cell you'd been kept in. Your fingertips sunk into something soft- a bed. Your bed. It was familiar in its lavender scent to you and the silk wrapped around you gave you some semblance of warmth.
Your wings.
Even coming to consciousness was difficult. You were exhausted but light, without the weight of wings holding you down. You'd never realised how much you needed to feel that weight, to feel pulled down in order to be free.
Gone, all gone.
Your hand twitches around something cold, a shadow holding your hand, creeping up your side.
'You're awake, thank the couldron.'
It wasn't Azriel, master of the shadows. It wasn't your mate. Mate. The word replayed like a terrible song in your mind.
How dare the mother do this to Az. How dare he- nothing but loyal and kind- get stuck with a person made in darkness, who bled shadows, who's heart was so full of hate there wasn't room for love. They'd cursed Az, with you.
But luckily it wasn't him, it was Rhysand.
'It really happened,' you whispered, voice hurting from the screams.
He sighed. 'I'm sorry, i'm so sorry. We-we thought you weren't going to make it, you'd lost so much blood.'
In spite of the pain in your shoulders, you made a shift, turning from him as he ranted on about your condition.
'y/n... sister, please,' he said. He'd never called you sister before. He'd always been content to treat you just like you worked for him.
'Leave me alone.' you couldn't bare to look at him, couldn't bare to face him. The shadows at your hand grew heavier, as if more were piling on. You stretched your fingers away from them, trying to get them off you.
'Are you in any pain?' asked Rhys.
'Get out,' you mumbled.
The end of your bed dipped where Rhys settled, hand splayed on the covers, begging for your hand. 'y/n.'
'Get out!' you snapped, body tense and straining. You felt your wounds open up, blood wetting the bandage around you. But you didn't care. You'd happily bleed if you couldn't fly. A part of you, sick part of you wanted to be left there. It would be better than false sympathy.
Be better than your mate being disgusted.
'Get out!' you yelled again, voice tearing through an aching throat.
'I just want to help you! please, let me help you!' said Rhys, standing from your bed and walking around, trying to face you.
'I don't want your help!' you screamed. You reached for the closest thing you could, a jug of water and chucked it toward him. You aim was terrible, marred with pain and exhaustion. 'Get out!'
Though hesitant, Rhysand slowly started walking back to your door. He did it all looking at you, his hands out to show he wasn't gonna hurt you, but you didn't care. You went for the glasses next and chucked them but they landed against the door which he disappeared through.
Before it slid close you caught sight of Cassian , Mor and Azriel. All crowded, all waiting to see you.
You'd be happy if you never let them see you again.
'Can we see her?' you hear Mor ask.
'Give her time,' said Rhys.
The shadows at your hand grew heavier, darker, tighter.
'Go away!' you yelled at them. To anyone else, you probably looked crazy, screaming to darkness. But the shadows understood. They departed, slithering away and under the crack of your door where you could see the shadows of feet.
Tumbling from bed, you stumbled over and locked the door, leaning on it to and catching your breath. Your nightgown was starting to get sticky with blood all over again. When you closed your eyes, you pictured the cell, the rough hands holding you down, the chain keeping you up.
And the pain, it all washed over you. The hacking at your back, the sting of a slap. It hit you like a tone of bricks as you slid to the floor.
There was a knock, rattling the door.
'y/n,' Cassian. 'Please let us in.'
Us. You felt him on the other side. Your mate, his presence lingering. His shadows under the door, wanting to come in but keeping their distance.
He didn't know. It hadn't snapped for him, you could tell. It was one tug on your end, a chord in your heart. At least he couldn't feel what you did. At least you could shoulder it alone.
'Please.' his voice was almost your un-doing. He sounded so sad, so desperate. It hurt you just to think you were hurting him.
Tears streamed down your face as your curled your fingers into a tight fist. You assumed Mor had left with Rhys, leaving you there with the males.
Cass was always like a brother to you. Granted- a brother you had slept with once or twice- but he was your best friend. You'd always been close to him. But you'd always been good, a happy person.
You couldn't be that for them now, perhaps ever again.
It lasted like that for hours. Cassian and Az begging to come in, you curling into a ball with tears down your cheeks and blood down your back.
Eventually, they gave up. You couldn't hear them anymore and the shadows of their boots had disappeared.
Except Azriel's shadows that still lingered under your door. Maybe he'd ordered them to be there while they left you.
Eventually, you managed to find your footing on shaking legs. Your room was large, one of the largest. It was just as much a mess as it was when you'd left for you mission, clothes thrown over the place, books propped open on the pages you'd left them on. Everything was the same but could never be again.
It took you longer than you'd care to admit to get to your windows and throw the curtains close. Candles light at your request, the house looking after you as it had since you were a child.
You caught sight of yourself in the full length mirror. It seemed smaller, everything in the room felt too large and you too small, as if you were being swallowed by the expanse of it.
Your frame was small in the mirror, your hair disarrayed. Your eyes were red and shutting of their own accord from the tears that had drained you. The starving in the cells had made you look weak, made you feel weak.
And your back. There was no more looming black figures there, no more fluttering. There was just nothing. In spite of the ache as you lifted your arm, you felt around your back, feeling the hitch there, the lump from where they'd been torn from you.
You cry. You sob. You scream.
The scars were long and the nightdress was sticking to you by the blood you'd shed. All you could do, was hold yourself up as your body wracked with tears.
A breeze came from your windows, shadows tugging at the curtains.
You felt him before you saw him. You wanted to tell him to leave you but you couldn't talk without chocking. Without feeling like you couldn't breath.
Azriel had you in your arms before your knees could hit the ground. He fell with you, softening your body on the floor. His arms held you into his chest, his legs caging you into his body. His head rested on yours as he held you. He didn't try to talk, he didn't try to help. It was just him, you and his shadows.
✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧
Azriel remembered dozing off with you, his head on yours. His arms holding you into him, as if it was up to him to keep the sadness away and take it for you.
Afterall, you were his best friend. He should have been there for you, and he'd failed terribly by letting you get hurt and your wings stolen from you. He could hate himself every day for it, for letting you down. But it would never amount to what you felt for yourself and that killed him.
He could see it in the way you cried, in the way you were already keeping everyone out. He'd rather die than let you go through all the pain alone.
When his hands had been scarred by his brothers, you'd help heal him, tell him about everything he still was and all the power he still held in his hands. In the worst days, when he didn't let anyone touch him, he let you.
It was always you.
Azriel wasn't sure how long he'd been asleep, or how deep. He was sure he was still with you, still in your bed.
His shadows crept up on him, engulfing him slowly and whispering to him. Your name, just your name on repeat. It was enough to lull him back into sleep, to keep him calm.
Gone. Missing. y'n. Roof.
He shot up and ran fastest than he ever had in his life. It was as if he'd never been asleep but had been fighting a battle with the way he raced over.
He burst through the doors, the cold hight air hitting him.
You stood facing the stars, your bloody back to him. It wasn't as much blood as when he'd found you, but it was still enough to put a lump in his throat.
Immediately his shadows fell to you, cascading down your body and wrapping around your waist. There was a breeze in the air, pushing your hair back and exposing more signs of the pain and torture you must have gone through.
'I'm not gonna jump, if that's what you're thinking,' you said. You didn't even have to turn to him. The shadows probably told you enough.
'Why are you up here?' he asked, walking to you slowly and with careful steps. As if every step closer could you push you away from him.
'I'll never feel the win properly again,' you answered.
Azriel gulped down his own pain. You’d never sounded so small. ‘Can you get away from the ledge?’
'I'm not on the ledge.'
'You're too close for my liking.'
'Leave if you don't like it.'
'Don't do this,' he said.
'Do what?' you asked, folding your arms over your chest. You were cold, out in the hight but you wanted to see the stars. Needed to see them.
'Make me leave. Make everyone leave you. I know that's what you're doing. It's what you do every time,' you could feel him dawning closer. His shadows were all around you, almost drowning you.
‘Every time,’ you scoff, stepping down and turning on him. ‘It’s not every day you lose your wings Azriel! But don’t let me stop you from leaving, flap them and go!’ You yelled, unable to stop yourself, no matter how hard you tried. You didn’t want to hurt him, you just wanted to be alone.
Mate. Mate. Mate.
'You jump and I’ll catch you,' he said. He was a step away, he could just reach out and touch, just a gentle caress. 'I swear it, whatever you do, I’ll follow. I’m not letting you get away.’
He watched your back shudder as he reached out, brushing knuckles against your shoulder blade. He heard your sharp inhale follow.
'Don’t think I won’t follow, y/n.'
Finally, you turned around in his shadows. You couldn’t meet his eyes but at least you could face his chest.
His hands were gentle on your shoulder as he rubbed it gently. 'Can I get Madja to clean you up?' He asked.
You nodded as he led you away. You truly did not deserve your mate.
✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧
Fifty-two years later...
When Amarantha had trapped the high lords of Prythian under the mountain, it hadn't be a conscious choice to follow your half-brother down. How Amarantha had allowed it, you weren't sure, but perhaps she wanted to use you just like her brother, or she thought it would bring more pain for him to see you suffer under there too.
You and Rhysand had barley spoke the last two years.
It had took you almost two months to heal fully enough to leave your room, another few months to face your family again. But even then, everyone knew something had changed in you. You didn't laugh as loud or smile as wide.
Rhysand was careful to ever let you out on a mission. Mor tried to take you out every night. Cassian spent all day every day with you and Azriel- he'd healed you better than any nurse.
Still, you had not told him he was your mate.
Still, you thought he wouldn't want it.
Still, you cared for your brother enough to not want him to go alone.
But being under the mountain, you could avoid your mate. At a painful price.
Until her. Rhys's mate. He hadn't shut up about her since he first met her, much to your dismay as you had to sit around and listen- having absolutely nothing better to do. And it only got worse when she turned up under the mountain. She was declaring her love for Tamlin- again, annoying your brother, and throwing Lucien into danger- which rather angered you. You had nothing against the ginger.
Rhysand had once sent you to find the girl to summon her as part of a bargain he'd made. He didn't want to go, he didn't want to look too forceful. You'd been lucky enough to find the two tangled up in each other against a cold wall, clothes ripped and hips moving together.
'Well, well well,' you'd intterupted.
Tamlin all but growled at you, but feyre was looking over you- evidently confused. She had no idea who you were. You, in your skimpy outfit that Amarantha kept you in (they all dipped low at your back, showing off your scars) and your eyes that were like a night sky.
'Amarantha's looking for her pet and Rhysand is looking for his. Honestly, i'd be a bit more worried if I were you. You know, considering Lucien still has an eye to lose.'
The two parted with your words as you sent Tamlin back to his master, the high lord glaring at you as you went. While Feyre tried to fix herself.
'Rhysand is over there, better not keep him waiting.' That was the first time you met her, having no idea how much trouble she'd be worth. The family that she'd become.
But Rhysand made sure you knew it all. From when the bond snapped in him and he'd stumbled. He ranted and ranted as they climbed out.
If only you were so talkative about Azriel. If only you could talk about him with your brother. But you'd tried not to painfully think about him. Climbing out of the mountain. It was all you could think of.
Maybe he'd have forgotten you? it had been fifty years. He'd probably realised how happy he could be without having to take care of you.
Rhys was allowed out of the mountain, he'd felt the breeze in his hair but you hadn't in fifty long years. You stood there a moment, bathing in the warmth as everyone left, as everyone ran off for their families and courts and the war that was inevitable. Eventually, Rhys offered you his arm. 'Shall we go home?'
He winnowed you there, on the balcony of your home. In a cloud of black smoke, the two of you appeared.
He went first, slipping through the doors slowly- like it could all be taken from them any minute.
You were hesitant, taking a moment to glance at the landscape behind you. It hadn't changed, not at all. The mountains were still there, everyone was still alive. Your home. In the last years it hadn't felt like home, but how could anywhere ever feel so close in your heart.
When you could find your feat again, you managed to slip through the doors. You were suddenly aware of how little clothing you were wearing, just enough to cover your chest and run down your legs. A chill settled down your back, your scars would be on show. What a way to great them all after fifty years.
Mor had her arms around Rhys's shoulders, crying into his shoulder.
Behind them you caught Amren, with something like tears in her eyes. You were just about to tease her before a body barrelled into yours in a blur of red syphons and your feet were lifted from the ground.
'Cassian.'
His arms tightened around you. You shoulder started to dampen with tears, his tears. The last time you'd seen him cry around you was when he'd seen a dog with only three legs. 'I'm keeping you on a leash from now on, stupid idiot.'
Your arms wrap around his shoulders, a smile gracing your lips. 'Is that a promise?'
He held you longer, tighter, not daring to let you go but at least settling you on the ground. He sighed against your head, controlling himself. 'He's missed you, you know,' he said. He was the only one you'd told, about your mate. 'Now that you're back, tell him. He deserves to know.'
Cassian slowly pulled away, holding you at arms length and smiling at you. He kissed your cheeks and then your forehead before parting to Rhysand.
Mor approached you next, slapping you in the arm.
'Ow!'
'Why would you follow him?' she snapped.
You blinked at her before she took you by the arm she'd slapped and embraced you, like a sister would. You dared not looking over her shoulder to find the one who hadn't come to you. Maybe Cass had got it wrong...
Mor pulled away, wiping at her eyes.
Azriel was as beautiful as the day you left him. His hair was the same length, he was the same height. He was just as you left him. It was hard to tell fifty years had passed on him.
And inside of you, tugging in your soul and heart you felt the familiar string of gold throbbing. But you still didn't feel that tug. You'd hoped it would have faded from you after half a year separated. Or at least have snapped for him. But no such relief.
He approached you, slowly. As if he was scared of scaring you away. But you just stood there.
His arms were delicate and soft around you as he brought you into his chest. He still smelled the same, cedar wood and shadows. Shadows that wrapped around you, shielding you from the rest of the room. They caressed you, head to two.
You held onto each other for what could have been another fifty years, but this time, it wasn't so painful.
✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧
Although nobody wanted to part after yours and Rhysand's return, you were exhausted. A trip to Rita's could wait another night or two. The only thing you wanted to do was hide in your room.
Strangely, your room looked lived in. As if somebody had moved in since you'd left. A moment of anger replaced grief. Had they brought someone else and given them your room? but then you smelt it, Az.
Lying in bed that night, exhausted, you couldn't find sleep. You closed your eyes and pictured Amarantha. You'd never been afraid of her, you weren't afraid of anything. But you re-played the horrors. Watching servants beat Feyre, watching Amarantha use your brother and on the occasion, even you. How she flaunted. How the most powerful lords were weak.
Under your door, shadows seeped in, rushing across the room to you. You smiled, watching your hand disappear in their darkness.
'Azriel?' you called.
There was shifting on the other side of the door before he slipped in, clicking it shut behind him.
You sat up in bed, shadows moving with you. 'Couldn't sleep?'
He wondered in, looking around your room. 'Sleeping's been... hard.'
You rolled over, opening the blanket and nodding your head. You couldn't think about the bond, not yet. Not while he looked so.... ruined. Beautiful- the most beautiful person in the world, but sad. As he climbed in next to you, you could see the dark circles under his eyes, his shoulders slumped and his wings too.
His eyes scanned over you. You were in a thin and silk night dress that only brushed your knees, but the way he looked at you, mother you could've been naked. 'Fifty years,' his voice sounded barley controlled. 'Fifty years. You followed your brother down for fifty years? Why would you do that?'
You gulp. 'I would've done it for any of you. Except maybe Amren, she'd probably enjoy the peace for fifty years.'
You go to brush your hair back but Azriel seizes your wrist. He was angry. That's why his voice was rough and his chest rising and falling with barley controlled emotions. Could he feel it? your nerves, your lying?
'You left. You should've stayed, y/n, you know Rhysand didn't want you under there with him,' he said. 'For fifty years I haven't been able to sleep through a night thinking about the pain you must have been going through. After I swore to keep you safe, after I promised to catch you every time!'
'You couldn't have stopped me. You didn't promise, Az.'
His grip grew tighter. 'It went without saying.'
You looked around his eyes, seeing the pain and grief there also. Slowly, you brought your other hand up. He flinched as you took his cheek but eventually settled as your thumb ran over his cheekbone. 'I won't leave again, ok? I promise.'
He gulped, letting go of your wrist and looking down. 'I slept here,' he mumbled, but just loud enough to hear you. 'I couldn't sleep in my room. This was the only place I could rest.'
Your heart stuttered. Your hand dropped from his cheek. This man was your mate. Your mate. Your only love, whether or not the cauldron deemed it.
Azriel took your hesitation. 'I-i'm sorry, you probably didn't want to hear that. I've probably ruined your one place of peace-'
'Stay,' you said, before you could think of what you were asking. 'Sleeping wasn't exactly easy under the mountain either. I just trust I won't have to put a wall of cushions between us.' as if you wanted that. As if you haven't thought about his calloused hands all over you.
Azriel smiled and stayed the night.
✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧
The third time he almost lost you, broke him...
✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧
4K notes · View notes
bitchimasnake-sss · 6 months ago
Note
Hear me out:
How monster trio, law, killer, and eustass would react to their partner saying they're too big. I love these men too much
IM HEARING YOU BUT i'm gonna be so real that i CANNOT write law, killer, and eustass good. i am a incompetent fool when it comes to these fine men but i suggest @fanaticsnail for her killer/kid fics they're so good!!! that being said, i can totally write for the monster trio hehe. they're my loves <3
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𐙚thinkin' about: the monster trio! when you say "'s too big."
cw: pussydrunk!luffy, mean!zoro, soft!sanji. praise and rough smex. m.list
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monkey d. luffy:
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❤️let me be honest with you. he doesn't even hear you. do you think monkey d. luffy could hear you while being balls deep into your fucking perfect cunt? do you think he'd be able to hear anything over the smack of his skin against yours, his debauched noises and your soft moans? ❤️he's a man possessed by only one intention: to fuck you till either he loses his mind or you do. and from the way you're drooling and digging your heels against his lower back, he's assuming you're gonna be the one losing your sanity. but don't worry, he's not far behind. ❤️your voice is so breathless, so incoherent as he enters you that how can you blame him for not listening? your back arched, your nails clawing down his back muscles and your tits pressing against his scared chest. how could he hear your soft "luff, 's too big, won't fit." over all that? ❤️but when you repeat and he hears it, he loses all sanity. a reckless smile plastered to his lips and he fucks into you again and again and again. his hips finding some kind of solace in the way your thighs pressed against him, the soft skin bruising as he just kept fucking into you. smack, smack, smack. won't fit? how not. he'd make it. ❤️ when monkey d. luffy can finally speak, he nudges his head into your crook, licks all over your sweaty skin and grins, "what were you sayin'? won't fit?"
roronoa zoro:
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💚oh, you think man is cocky before? just wait till he listens those words that just tumbled past your lips. 💚"wh-what? what did you say?" he asks again, his large hand stilling over your warm, soft thighs, "repeat." "it jus' won't fit, z-zoro." you hide your gaze from him, and he thinks it's so cute that you think that you can run away from him while his large palms are pushing your thighs to your chest and his mushroom tip is kissing your needy hole. you really think you can run from him? cute. 💚"it won't fit?" he asks slowly, tilting his head to peer you down, "really, baby?" but you turn your face away from him again, trying to hide the blush across your pretty face. how dare you? you were so fucking pretty, and all his and even then you were trying to run away from him? this won't do. 💚 "why won't it?" he coos, softly bringing a hand to pull your chin and make your eyes meet his, "come on, watch as i make it fit." and he'd make you watch as he slowly sinks into your pretty cunt. a rough thumb on your pulsating clit, rubbing down numbers and various iterations of his own name as he starts sinking down and down into you. 💚as he fucks you into your third orgasm of the night, he can only ask one wretched question: "what did'ya say?" and you babble incoherently, eyes growing glossy at how harsh he's fucking into you, "won't fit."
vinsmoke sanji:
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💙 oh, what have you done?! do you want to kill him? 💙sanji had come to the conclusion that one day he will die as you moan out him name and clench around his dick, you were that heavenly. quite literally. but he didn't think that day would come so soon. 💙your pretty lips parted so prettily, wet core rutting against him so nicely, and wide eyes looking at him with such utter devotion. your lips quivered, hands on his shoulder, "s-sanji, it won't fit." "it won't fit?" he asked you earnestly, lips coming to kiss away your face and jaw and neck as he mumbled against your soft skin, "it'll, my love. you can do it." 💙he's the kind of guy to bask you with compliments, gentle nudges as you take in more of his pretty dick inch by inch. his large palms roam up and down your body, soothing you, and his hot pants into your lips as he bottoms out inside of you. "see?" he coos, lapping away any tears, "it fit, baby. now take it." 💙though sanji is so sweet, so careful with you, he cannot help but be a little mean as he thrust into your plushy cunt. faster and harder and ready to split you open all while his words were cashmere against your reddened lips. he grinned against you, wet words against your swollen lips, "you're doing so well. see? it fit."
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a/n: omg haven't written headcanons for these pretty mfs in such a long time. missed doing this sm!! thankyou @steadybouquetkitten for the ask, it was sm funnn. i'm out of ideas, so, do send in reqs if you feel like it <3 credits: @eirirnnn on twitter for luffy fanart; can't find the artist for zoro's and sanji's. please let me know! @rookthornesartistry for the dividers! tagging: @bokutosbiceps resident luffy lover :) m.list
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pnutbutter-n-j-elyy · 7 months ago
Text
They unknowingly bring up an insecurity Seungmin|Pt1
Pt2 Pt3
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Your heart was strung in your throat. Seungmin was always one to tease; and for the most part he was good about shying away from topics you were sensitive about so no problems had ever arisen. But as you read over his texts over and over again you felt your heart pinch in a way that was all to similar to what you had felt in your previous relationship.
"You talk too much, you know that?" Your ex had told you that numerous times, and eventually it led to a break up. And your constant yapping became something that made you insecure.
But when you first met Seungmin you felt like you were perfect the way you were. Chan had said you would balance Seungmin out quite well. And up until now you felt as if that were the case.
Now you wondered if maybe you did become to much.
Maybe the constant chatter had become annoying to the quiet boy you loved dearly.
And while you had been in love numerous times before, it hurt more to even think of losing Seungmin than all your previous heart breaks combined. And that was a lot considering you had always been the one to have your heart broken.
You couldn't tear yourself away from your phone screen - rereading those texts and overanalyizing the tone.
Maybe it was in a light hearted way? Or maybe it was the complete opposite and it was fully aggression?
You sat there trying to pick apart every single meaning, connotation, and tone the words he sent could have when your phone dimed again.
"I'm guessing your busy shopping since my phone has been quite for more than fifteen minutes. Haha, I think that's a first!"
You did everything in your power to try and bite back the knot in your throat from coming up and causing tears. So much so your eyes started to burn and you ended up shedding a few quietly.
The rest of the day you busied yourself with miniscule little tasks like dusting the fans and sweeping the welcome mat that you intended to take along with you when you moved in with Seungmin.
You tried to take your mind off of the texts. You figured Seungmin didn’t mean it in anyway malicious sort of way. In fact you knew he meant it as a lighthearted joke. In the time you had spent with him you had easily learned just how kind and loving of a person he was, and how much he cared for you.
You just couldn’t shake the hurt from those words - and more importantly the fear you had deep down that there was some truth to the words he had sent.
By the time Seungmin arrived at your apartment it was early evening. Every Wednesday you guys would cook together ever since you witnessed him and Felix blowing food up by accident on a live. Seungmin followed the normal routine of slipping off his shoes and into his house slippers and immediately changing into a cheap shirt he had bought when you first had started your endeavors since he was smart enough to realize he was a messy cook.
“Hey baby.” He said as he greeted you with a quick hug from behind and a chaste kiss to the cheek before he went to wash his hands.
You have a small noise of acknowledgement as Seungmin dried his hands off on a plaid towel and turned to you with happy anticipation.
“What are we cooking today?”
“Spaghetti and meatballs.” You replied as you started to grab the necessary ingredients. Seungmin followed you around like a happy puppy and helped you a carry everything to the counter you reserved for preparation of ingredients.
“So how do we start?” Seungmin asked. By now he had noticed your face was a little droopy and your responses were short and if there was any conversation it was only in answer to his initiation.
“With the ground beef.” You said as you pulled out a big bowl to put the meat and seasonings in. Seungmin watched you from his peripheral as you poured in some panco bread crumbs and a bunch of other various aromatic seasonings while he opened up the meat packaging.
As he kneeled everything with his hands he tried asking you about your day.
“So did you end up ordering the mugs baby?”
“No, I didn’t.” Silence.
“Oh…maybe after dinner we can look on Etsy together? Or maybe find a website to customize them? It might seem like a lot but I think the guys would really appreciate your sentiment.”
“Yeah, we can do that.” Silence.
Seungmin started to roll out oddly and unevenly shaped meatballs and continued to try and ask you questions as you guys worked, but your answers we short. Not rude. But literally short.
Not thouroghly explained like usual.
Even at dinner you were quiet and barely even touched your food.
“Do you not feel good baby?” Seungmin asked you as you played with a piece of garlic bread.
“I feel okay…maybe a little tired.” You said popping the piece into your mouth as if to show you were feeling fine.
Seungmin sighed and put his fork down.
“Did my text hurt your feelings?” He had been worrying about it all day when he had seen you had left him on read. It was an odd thing but nevertheless endearing when you would finish a conversation over text and send a meme to him just to acknowledge the end of the conversation, and to make sure he “didn’t find it hurtful” that you had left him on read. Even if he constantly assured you it was in no way shape or form a problem.
You hadn’t sent him a meme. And the more he thought about it he realized that his humor might not have translated through text.
“Im sorry if I hurt your feelings. It was a joke, Y/N. I would never purposefully want to hurt you. I love when you share about your day. I was a bit tied up so while you texting me might have been inconvienent at the moment doesnt mean I don’t appreciate you wanting me to know everything about what you are doing. I love that you want me to be a part of your life , even the tiny thing.”
“It’s okay babe.” You replied putting a smile on your face. “I know you didn’t mean it to hurt me. I’m just tired that’s all.” You let out a breath as you stood up and collected Seungmin’s plate. “Maybe we can just watch a movie instead of shopping? I just don’t feel like thinking very much right now in any capacity…” You let out quietly.
“Of course.” Seungmin responded, trailing you into the kitchen as you set the plates in the sink. “I love you.” He said quietly, his voice lilting up slightly. Were you actually okay?
“I love you too Minmin.” You place a a small kiss next to his eye and head towards the living room.
During the movie Seungmin kept stealing glances at you as you leaned on him but not into him. As you laughed but the curve of your mouth didn’t exactly reach your eyes. And how those same eyes were focused on the screen but your mind was obviously some place else.
Although you had said you were fine your silence gave him the answer you actually wanted to give. That Seungmin had struck a nerve more sensitive than he had known.
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