#i'm just very bad at it
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i'm so tumblr inept and i get awkward about answering anons but if you've messaged me on anon lately hi, thank you, i'm doing good just hit a fandom slump for a little while there and disappeared off the internets!
#i like to talk to people!!#i'm just very bad at it#but my messages are open#and i'm usually better about answering those#also ive been working on some original stuff!!!#which is exciting for me
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btw im always open to receiving & answering asks but i'm specifically sightly tipsy rn so hey if u wanted to ask me things. u have half an hour to 45 minutes before i pass out
#bxc it's alreadyu past 2am mostly#also im verry osrry i havent drawn shit in so so long. i'll get back to it i wanna get back to it#i'm just very bad at it#but .#eventually please please please please
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Tragic: Guy you based your entire villain backstory on doesn't even remember you
#art#comic#sonic the hedgehog#sth#shadow the hedgehog#infinite the jackal#sonic fanart#sonic#sonic forces#My funny BTS on this comic is Shadow's initial response was 'sounds like cope but okay' but I wanted something less internet-pilled LOL#I've drawn more Sonic Forces fanart than I intended but it is EXCLUSIVELY because I think Infinite is SO funny#I'm gonna shove him in a locker#Bro lost a fight once and it shattered his self esteem#He's been practicing his evil laugh for months and when he finally gets his chance Shadow hits him with the 'I don't know you'#Also since this is taking off I want to clarify: I am a hater in the silly sense. I understand why Infinite has fans#The bones of a good character are there it’s just the writing of this game failed him So Bad#Forces is my least fave Sonic game but I can’t stop thinking about it because of its missed potential#Forces tries to make a lot of very serious plot points but the impact is just not there. It becomes unintentionally funny as a result
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You don't wish your disability was worse or more visible, you wish your disability was taken seriously. Please stop confusing the two, I guarantee you would not get the support you need JUST by being more severe or more visible. Please listen to visibly disabled people when we tell you it isn't better on our side
#m/cc#mine#I tried extremely hard to word this nicely because I KNOW people don't mean bad and often even know there are unique challenges#and believe me I know the challenges of invisible disability too!!#I have invisible disabilities!#but as someone who has also been at least visibly 'off' since they were 10 I am SO SICK of invisible disabilities being hailed as like#a unique extra oppression that us lucky visibly disabled people don't have to deal with#there are challenges to invisible disabilities that visibly disabled people DON'T have to deal with!#but you need to understand that *the reverse is also true*#there are MASSIVE benefits to being able to lie about your disability for example#or not dealing with the overt ableism that comes with your disability being obvious to everyone#*I do not have the option to pretend I'm not disabled.* that is never an option I have#I walk weirdly. I use a mobility aid now. my speech and face are 'off.' I lean to one side#for a long time I wore sunglasses 24/7 and often didn't make sense. I sometimes can't speak or won't react to others#for the most part people will always know that at the very least something is wrong with me#and more obviously I have people telling me they'll pray for me; telling me I can't do things I'm already in the process of doing;#wanting to shake my hand to tell me I'm an inspiration for not killing myself; giving me dirty looks for existing in public#and yes. I'm aware that this is very much an in-community issue. I know the average abled person doesn't know invisible disabilities exist#that's why there's so much awareness happening for it#but as a visibly disabled person I get SO TIRED of constantly hearing 'I wish my disability was visible :'('#it's just 'I wish I had your disability!' but from other disabled people
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I realized that I could easily do the same to DAI's script, and I did that, but then I immediately created my magnum opus:
A Text File of Everything Solas Says In Inquisition and Veilguard, The Ultimate Fanfic Resource For Writing Solas' Voice*
and I fell on the floor because it made me happy.
*edited to correct a minor mishap
#did you know Solas says 36000 words#Dragon Age#Solas#Inquisiton spelunking#Veilguard spelunking#I cannot wait to look through it more#I wonder if there's a difference between him speaking in Dread Wolf I'm The Bad Guy mode#that's noticeable just in text#he's sooooo cute#and some of these are very rare lines#Solas says 2345 lines in Inquisition#and 814 lines in Veilguard#I didn't bother to keep in the “Dread Wolf whining noises” sound effect lines sorry about that#and I'll upload the DAI version later I made a mistake on it and I'm tired for now
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#iwtv#devil's minion#armandaniel#daniel molloy#armand#armand iwtv#iwtv*#min.gif#shows#*mark lee voice* oh dude he's filrting#no bc genuinely what was the meaning of this.#the verdict is..... old man fucker!#anyways. very pleased with the coloring on these gifs if i do say so myself#EDIT: i'm sobbingggg i think my old ass laptop just has terrible color accuracy bc i'm seeing these gifs on my phone and tablet#and they look so bad LMFAO. so just pretend you're looking at these gifs from my laptop and i promise they look good#iwtvedit#ㅇㅇㅎ
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(continued under the cut ↓)
did you hear about my amazing propaganda yet
#this one is like a tease#i'm spreading my ideas and hope someone bites#i hope someone sees this and feels inspired#i hope this causes unrest and someone decides they need to make more content based on a similar idea because they weren't satisfied#bsd#bungo stray dogs#bungou stray dogs#bsd fanart#bsd dazai#bsd dazai osamu#bsd chuuya#bsd nakahara chuuya#skk#soukoku#<- of ambiguous flavour#nawy's comics#suggestive#?#like. for one panel.#btw how cringy did you find my hotel name i tried very hard (i just picked the first bad english tacky thing i thought of)
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I don’t think we’ve ever seen you draw knight of dawn before 🤔 what are your thoughts about him? Or take?
I've drawn him a couple of times, just really little/in the background. but I should draw him more, I love this guy a lot! I have many, many thoughts about him and the way he parallels Silver...and also I think it is extremely funny that his ghost is stuck in a ring. especially considering where that ring has been for the last 16-ish years.
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#don't mind me just killing time waiting for maintenance to end so i can stick my face directly into 7-12#i mean i'm on the record (read: constantly posting) about how much i love the whole tragique backstory behind mal's birth#and. look. hold on it's a day ending in y time to be embarrassing about anime characters online again#no but really i love him. i love how he's such a vague figure but also the way his and silver's stories contrast#i cannot articulate it very well but just#i love how he's essentially like...bad end silver#he let himself go along with the big evil plan because he wanted to save his dad and not betray his king and all that#and when he finally did take a stand it was too late to stop the worst of it#meanwhile silver was immediately like NOPE WE'RE NOT DOING THIS#silver is NOT going to end up slaying the dragon thank you very much#me kicking my stupid little legs in glee over it all#and! the retrospect when you realize! that he was the one leading silver around lilia's memories!!!!#he is so happy that silver and lilia have each other!#he's so happy for them!#i want to put him in a can and hold him in my pocket for 16 years#also: his ridiculous hair. it's so silly and so good.#may vil never meet him#the knowledge that there's someone with naturally gorgeous hair who has somehow done it even dirtier than silver would destroy him
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"Good" Acting
i have a theory that a lot of people say acting is "good" when they're emotionally moved by it, and a lot of cishet white people have a lifelong habit of not listening or empathising when minoritised people speak, so minority actors get called "bad" even when they display some pretty fucking amazing technical skill
#also a lot of female actors don't get recognised despite being fucking GOOD#that's not to say minority actors can't always be bad#of course we can#I'm just saying#sometimes#for SOME shows in particular#ahem ahem#some actors might get very heavily criticised for reasons that have very little to do with their actual technical skill#and more to do with the politics of those criticising them#also I'm not talking about me here#before anyone says that#I'm talking about some actors I know who have recently been criticised in my opinion quite unfairly#despite doing something very difficult#like oooohhh i dunno#playing two roles in the same show?#and doing it very well#displaying some amazing technical mastery of body and voice technique#but hey what do I know#oh wait I went to drama school and I'm a professional actor lol I DO know#I'm just a woman so I have to couch my expertise in cutesy self-deprecation lest people think I'm a bitch
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I feel fandom would get along a lot better if there was mutual understanding that liking a character, agreeing with a character, and thinking the character is well constructed/executed are all separate (if often overlapping) positions, each with their separate tastes and subjectivities. Also: character portrayals are intended to make the audience feel things; this is separate from (if often overlapping with) analyzing/appreciating their actions and role in the story.
#I would queue this because it's truly not character-specific#but there is always something happening with a character so that probably wouldn't help lol#anyway I'm making this nonrebloggable because I am not interested in the tomato throwing atmosphere out there#do not clown in bad faith on this post or in my inbox please I will just delete it#op#it's just over time I do see a pattern of like “I think X character was wrong in this” and some reactions being “you *hate* X character!”#or that if you like a character you *must* agree with them and/or have such a deep an endless compassion for their faults and mistakes#that it comes all the way back around to removing their agency because HOW could they do any different#and if you do not give them this grace then it is antithetical to you liking them or enjoying them or even just being neutral on them#when this is often not the case#like as an Essek and Jonas Spahr enjoyer their fuck-ups are very essential to why they have any sort of “grow as a person” arc#characters *have* to have texture and foibles or they are stagnant in the story - let your fave fuck up a bit! As a treat!#and lastly I'll just say that my point here is NOT that everyone is always positive or that haterism doesn't exist.#Some commentary just seems to happen at different frequencies from each other and it catalyzes more angst than it needs to
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I do think Blazing Saddles handled its one depiction of native americans very poorly, and the full extent of its representation of chinese workers on the railroad is they were literally just there. not even one single speaking line. unclear if this is worse or better than the redface.
it's fucking phenomenal at lampooning antiblack racism though. extremely blatant, extremely funny satire, which is constantly and loudly saying "racism is the philosophy of the terminally stupid at best and morally depraved at worst, and we should all be pointing and laughing at them 24/7"
plus the main character is a heroic black man who has to navigate a whole lot of bullshit but is constantly smirking at the extraordinarily stupid racists and inviting the audience into the joke. the one heroic white character is a guy who was suicidally depressed until he met the protagonist and they just instantly became buds, and he's firmly in a supporting role the whole time and happy to be there. the protagonist saves the day with the help of his black friends from the railroad, and uses the position of power he was given to uplift not only those friends, but all the railroad workers of other minorities too, in an explicit show of solidarity.
anyone saying "Blazing Saddles is racist" had better be talking about its treatment of non-black minorities. it had better not be such superficial takes as "oh but they say the n-word all the time" or "they have nazis and the kkk in there!" because goddamn if that's the full extent of your critique I very seriously suggest you read up on media analysis. there is too much going over your head, you need to learn to recognize satire.
#blazing saddles#finx watches tv#finx rambles#I recognize that I'm saying all this as someone who's not black#but I am also saying it as someone with a basic understanding of race relations in the usa#and a basic understanding of sarcasm#bc it really does not take more than that to recognize what they're doing in this movie#it is NOT subtle#and it is very funny#mel brooks movies are kinda hit or miss for me ngl#men in tights is great if a bit too crass for my taste#spaceballs has great jokes but the central story lacks any real heart so it doesn't grab me#history of the world was just kind of unpleasant and then I switched it off#but blazing saddles? phenomenal#I could not stop laughing the whole way through#and the central story DOES have heart bc it's the friendship between bart and#whassisname#jim#the Kid#plus bart working out how to succeed at an impossible task#also frankly cleavon little just grounds the comedy really well even before gene wilder shows up and we get their chemistry#bc he's cool calm collected and constantly inviting the audience into the joke#but the character's not too cool to ever mess up or ever be silly#he makes bad choices and gets into bad situations and then has to get himself out of them#but it's.....oh wait duh there's a term for this already#he's the straight man#he grounds all the zany nonsense by being in strong contrast to it#and he does a great job of it!#anyway#point is I deeply enjoyed this movie and I'm glad I finally watched it
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Thanks to many thoughts, I ended up drawing again about that one concept idea of mine with baby Max and tired Goofy. Which it's about how difficult it was for Goofy at the beginning for a couple of reasons, and that Goofy only managed to occasionally take better care of himself with the help of his friends. Sure he's positive and optimistic in general, but I can't see he managing it all by himself alone.
#my art#goofy#max goof#minnie mouse#disney#I can just see him being stressed out and wishing the maximum best for max and being extra careful because Goofy knows he's Goofy#not to mention that one puzzle piece with the loss of a loved one. which I think would push Goofy into building this perfect place for Max#because he loves his son very much to the point of not looking after himself at least in those first months#anyway that's it#I'm proud of how fast I drew all this and it doesn't look so bad!
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thinking about not only the specific people lucanis pulls in to represent the 'locks' in his psyche, but the storytelling that happens in the structure/order of them. the underlying ideas are presented something like:
the lucanis who went into the ossuary never came back out again; he died down there (the boy caterina raised is gone forever) -> you're putting yourself in danger doing this (by being close to me), you should leave because I can't bear it if you get hurt because of me -> it doesn't matter even if we do try this, it won't work anyway (again because of me) ('you know what he's like, you can open the door but he won't walk through it' :'( oofie doofie) -> what if the real secret is that there was never anything but the monster in here from the beginning. you should leave, there was never anything here worth saving in the first place. (implicitly: what if I deserved what happened, all along.)
it runs pretty cleanly from outward-oriented attachment anxiety ('caterina won't even want me back like this, she won't recognize me (the same way I no longer recognize myself)) and gradually deeper inwards until we reach self-image and self worth. or you know, the harrowing basic lack of it lol.
"careful -- they'll know we're not right," spite says in one of their first scenes... but clearly, some very deep part of lucanis has feared or suspected for much longer than that that there's something inherently not right at the core of him, way before any demon entered the picture. and the voice he gives those lines to is the person who should know him better than anyone in the world, who he has loved more than anyone in the world -- and who deliberately chose to hurt him so horrifically anyway. 'It's better if I'm just a monster and deserved what happened than it is to allow for the idea that the brother I love doesn't really exist and maybe never did'. it's better if he's fundamentally flawed in some way that needed fixing to help him survive, and that's why caterina chose to hurt him again and again -- out of love. (this one I think he might have a very sad wakeup call on one day if he ever ends up with the responsibility and care of a child of his own in some way and realizes just how alien the idea of ever intentionally hurting them for any reason is to him. oh buddy. also interesting that he keeps caterina as the outermost lock -- there IS a distance he keeps there that he hasn't with illario. he doesn't resent her 'anymore' he says, but he also keeps her carefully further away from his deepest self.)
as far as I could tell the only note in the mind prison that's fully hidden and needs to be uncovered is the sad painful helpless stupid little truth that even after all this, even knowing what happened... he still loves his brother. is there anything illario could ever do that would make lucanis completely stop loving him, do you think? sometimes the trouble with unconditional love is that it is, well. unconditional, even when some terms and conditions probably would have been in order haha.
that's the pattern you see there again and again; he would rather destroy and abandon and imprison himself at every turn than let go of love, even when it's just scraps, even when there's only ever enough of it to hurt him. it's only when rook shows up and as it were takes his hand and walks along with him that he can entertain the idea of changing the story of what walking out the door might mean in the end.
#tl;dr the demon is a metaphor about dissociation and trauma and it's doing its job thematically fucking pitch perfectly that way the end#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#lucanis dellamorte#dragon age meta#this mission is like ds9 the wire in terms of episodes you really can examine from a thousand different angles#and find something new and soulcrushingly sad every time. exactly my kind of episode in other words#whenever people say there's nothing to him but coffee and spite jokes some small part of me goes 'oh I'm so incredibly sorry!#it must be really hard and so impractical to go through life without being able to read :'( get better soon'#is that very nice of me. perhaps not. is the writing here *perfect*? of course not. but some people are also dedicated to being#wilfully blind (presumably b/c they would have preferred to see something else?? idk man)#lucanis' reaction to taash going 'I'm sorry I'm such a bad crow :'('... he could NEVER do what caterina did with him no matter what#you just can't use him like that. he needs the clean family/enemy/contract distinction or you just break him!!!#caterina literally what are you thinking. every day I ask myself this. (probably 'the only other option that keeps the seat in the family#is illario. so that's right out of course' lmao)#god forbid it happen anytime soon if it should happen b/c there's Stuff that needs working through first lol but he'd be such a soft dad
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Good morning, Sleepyhead.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#'WWX was asleep for 4 days' is an incorrect factoid.#The average WWX sleeps for 8 hours. The PD-MDZS WWX who was asleep for 40 comics and 4 months is an outlier.#We are back to present day! I have missed drawing them!#Ah...the contrast between how the flashback ended (cold and distrustful) to how wwx wakes up (warm and watched over)...#The gap between the past and present is very important. Not just in this story but in our lives too.#The past can still hurt and it doesn't just go away with time as some say. It is the power of realizing that things have changed.#We can't get the good back. The bad memories have concluded. Those live somewhere else now.#It is hard to realize that you have to live for today and tomorrow. The past is so loud.#For WWX it is realizing that despite the mistrust in the past - He really does have faith that LWJ will be there for him.#It is the reflection of knowing that you changed and will keep changing and that change is good and kind sometimes.#But more importantly...and this I really do mean with all my heart:#It will all end up okay in the end. Even after the worst day. The most painful losses. You will get through it.#What feels like a breaking point is truthfully just another step you have to take. You'll get through it even though it feels like the end.#There are wonderful things you have yet to see. Friends you have yet to meet.#Even if it hurts so badly...one day it just aches. Someday you'll go a few weeks not remembering that it ever hurt.#Oh and because my izutsumi comic revealed many people were in need of hearing this:#You are loved. Right now. You are so loved right now. We just forget to tell each other that.#Go tell the people you love that they matter to you. I'm assigning you homework!!! You are graded on completion.
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Pangi: [In chat] fit what team are you gonna join btw, or have you not thought about that
Fit: [Responding in chat] "I am a lone wolf"
Fit: [Deleting the message] No– that's not true, I have a Brazilian boyfriend on this server. In RP, so technically that's not true.
#The Realm SMP#FitMC#Hideduo#FitPac#Timestamp is 1:17:55#December 9 2024#Fit#I love that they're just consistently boyfriends on every server#No more baby steps they already did that. Soulmate arc now I guess#Also poor guy. Spongebob meme ''IN RP''#Edited#Also I'm so sorry I don't know if that wonky audio is me or Fit I'm very sorry#I don't know wtf is up with Sony Vegas and I've tried everything to fix it but nothing's worked o(-(#I'm almost at the point where I want to buy a new version of it. THAT is how bad it's gotten#Toss a coin to your archivist /j#Lightly Edited
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(sort of a companion piece to this)
older brother instinct
(★ my Kofi)
#my art#trolls band together#trolls fanart#trolls bruce#trolls john dory#trolls#no matter how old you both get. you never lose that ''oh shit my little sibling is CRYING'' panic.#hoooooooooooogh i have TOO MANY THOUGHTS i can't articulate AAAHHH#idk man i'm just constantly thinking about bruce's dynamic with JD as the second oldest#simultaneously wanting to support his brother while still NEEDING him ya know#i think that on some level. even after things got REALLY bad with the band...... he just wanted his brother back#grgrgrtg idk the bottom line is that all of brozone needs a good cry. and a hug. and a sincere apology from JD.#(it's VERY important to me that you notice that JD isn't actually saying the words ''i'm sorry'' here btw.....)
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