#i'm just so fucking tired of seeing this shit and seeing the people saying that shit facing no challenge...

[wondercourse]

y'know what a big pet peeve of mine is?

the phrase "this isn't for you" appended to "pro-/endos dni" on posts about trauma. usually trauma recovery. not necessarily about CDDs (though i'll get into why that's ALSO fucked up in a bit), but just about trauma in general.

i am a big believer in curating your space. i curate mine; i don't like how aggressive syscourse tends to be, so i don't engage in it in the way people may expect me to with my username being "wondercourse" lol. i don't really care what "side" they're on, what matters to me is how they treat others. it is okay for you to set boundaries surrounding your interactions with others, including those you don't want to interact with. i'm not saying you shouldn't do what you need to do to feel comfortable in your space.

but why not leave it at "dni" (this is also about the "fuck off" tag but that's a whole different conversation)? why append "this isn't for you"?

that implies that whatever kind words you said in that post, whatever encouragement you wanted to give, whatever "positive" thing you were trying to do, isn't deserved by the people you don't like.

even if someone who identifies as endogenic is a trauma survivor, "this post isn't for you".

even if they're person with a CDD who happens to "believe in" and/or support people who identify as endogenic, "this post isn't for you".

if you are "wrong" in someone's eyes, "this post isn't for you".

honestly, to me, it minimizes the words. they're not actually for all trauma survivors. they're not for all people with CDDs. they're for the ones that you find palatable. and that's...uncomfortable, to put it as kindly as i can.

and it's so unnecessary. it is not equivalent to just saying "dni". you are NOT the arbiter of what people deserve or don't, especially when it comes to trauma support/solidarity.

and maybe this is just me misinterpreting the phrase! but it just makes me skin crawl. like idk if there's really a way to justify it that would make me go "oh, i get it" because i don't (but i'm open to discussing it). why not treat each other as human beings deserving of respect and healing?

anyway, this has been a long enough post. i'm tired. i don't know if this even bothers anyone else. but it bugs the shit out of me.

oh, i was going to keep this in the tags, but this is something i want people to see: i mostly see this with people who identify with being anti-endo. but if you identify as pro-/endo and you do this "this isn't for you" thing on general positivity/recovery posts, then this is also about you. and if you don't, then it's not lol.

[hugmeimtouchdeprived]

Pretty sure this has been done a million times before, BUT I am bored and have been sitting for 3 hours in a train and the internet is very bad and I desperately need something to do.

Tw: Some noncon elements? Nothing explicit or in detail. Fem! Reader

What if you're on a train, or bus, or some other form of public transport, so crowded you don't even question it when a stranger suddenly sits next to you.

Kyle would draw you in with his charisma and good looks. I mean, have you seen this man?? Even as he sits a bit too close, thighs and shoulders almost touching yours, you don't question it too much. Or when his hand touches your thigh. He apologizes, of course, with that goddamn pretty smile of his, excusing it as him being tired after a long day. Even when he does it again, giving your soft thigh a squeeze, you don't even mention it. Even when his fingers discreetly slip under the hem of your sundress.

Soap wouldn't be nearly as apologetic. He's got charisma, keeps yapping throughout the drive about whatever, askong you questions. Where are you going, why, ye got anyone waiting there? Come on, he doesn't mean anything by it, just some small talk! But sure, he understands your anxiety about sharing all that info with a stranger, he doesn't intend to make you feel uncomfortable (maybe he doesn't intend to, but he sure as shit doesn't really care when he does, squishing his thigh against yours and practically pressing up against your when he points at something through the window you're seated next to, his hand "accidentally" brushing up against your chest, whispering something in your ear).

Ghost would crowd you into that tiny seat for the whole drive, barely saying a word to you. You're happy to stay in your own little bubble as much as you can, with the slightly creepy man next to you with the black mask (what's it called in English, not his regular mask/balaclava but like a medical one?? Surgical mask? The type people wore during covid????). You swear he keeps staring at you, but every time you glance in his direction, he seems to be looking at his phone, or maybe reading something. The moment you turn you feel eyes on you again.

Would follow you after it, though, that man has no shame whatsoever. Doesn't even realize why you keep glancing behind you and speeding up your pace. He just wants to make sure you make it safely to wherever you're going, right? Won't leave until he sees you walk inside your apartment building, or hotel, or wherever you're headed.

Then again, nobody is going to even think about messing with you while you walk, not when they see the fucking giant following you from a small distance.

Price. Price Price Price. I don't intend to really write for him because I'm not as into him as I am into the rest of 141 (love him!!! Just don't feel like writing for him usually!!) but I am, still, very bored and have some thoughts. He'd follow you, just like Ghost, but unlike the lieutenant, he'd shamelessly walk right alongside you, keeping the now-very-one-sided conversation going. Even when you seem a bit uncomfortable and try to turn to another street, hoping he wouldn't follow, but he does. He's a gentleman, you know? No gentleman would allow a lady like yourself to walk home alone at this time of night, no ma'am.

Might even invite himself into your humble abode, politely removing his shoes at the entrance and asking you where the kitchen is so he can get something to drink. "You want anything, love?"

Yeah, you're not getting rid of any of them after meeting them. Even if they didn't follow you (as far as you know) you will bump into them again sometime later, laughing about what a coincidence it is when he asks you out for coffee or whatever.

Thank you for reading!🌷 I slept for one hour last night and haven't been able to sleep on the train, someone help me it's going to be a long day :)

[scorpiusmalfoylovesoscarwilde]

I've said it before, I'll say it again, and I'm sure it won't be the last time. I AM SICK AND BLOODY TIRED OF THESE MFS, HALF OF WHO DONT EVEN CARE ABOUT CURSED CHILD, BITCHING AND MOANING ABOUT AN ANGSTY TEEN DARING TO BE AN ANGSTY TEEN, I WILL FIGHT THE LOT OF YOU

(this is gonna be a bit long and probably incoherent so sit down and fucking listen to me 🔫 stick with me because I'm not just complaining about albus haters)

eVERYBODY wants cOoMmpllEeXx relatable HUMAN characters - and then SHIT themselves when the flaws a CHILD has isn't just 🥺 uwu im socially awkward and traumatised 🥺. that's why scorpius doesn't get this fuckass treatment, because his terrible human flaw is that he's a bit shit at conversation and gets sad about his dead mum (generalised understatement, but this post isnt about him. dont come for me i love him 🫶🏻)

god forbid albus, who feels unloved and unwanted (with valid evidence for a teenager), albus who feels completely out of place and outcast from his entire famously-close-knit family, ablus who is well known by the world by default via Harry and hates the attention and high expectations, albus who then gets targeted and bullied by his peers because he's not as perfect and brilliant as his father, albus who is then isolated from his one friend because Harry is making irrational ptsd fueled decisions, albus who tells Harry completely sincerely that he knows he's unlikeable but he'll try and change himself and be more like his siblings because he genuinely believes that's what Harry and everyone else whos had the misfortune of meeting him wants, albus who spends the entire play trying to prove himself and fix things via idiotic childish decisions BECAUSE HES A WHOLE UNSTABLE CHILD

god forbid that CHILD doesn't react like a patient, supported, well adjusted, level headed adult. god forbid he reacts outwardly. god forbid he reacts at all, my bad. clearly he should just sniffle a bit as if he doesn't feel suffocated and helpless by everything in his life, because obviously hes just a spoiled brat who doesn't know what real suffering is. god forbid he complains or feels anything negatively, or doesn't quite grasp that other people are struggling too because he is too busy trying so hard to deal with himself and his declining mental health the best he can with basically no support or understanding. god forbid he isn't completely perfect.

you all sound like some fucking boomer telling teenagers they don't know what real struggling is, they aren't mentally ill, they dont have any problems because they have a roof over their head, they should all go to war kids are too soft these days 😫😖😱 fUCKING‼️SHUT UP‼️

he does things wrong but he knows he does and he does everything he can to fix it! and he is fourteen!!! do none of you remember what being fourteen is like 😭😭 I swear half of you have got to be basically fourteen yourselves cmon man

cause I'm seeing this fucking pattern a lot recently. not just for albus, not just in this fandom, everywhere. ‼️ no one can fucking handle flawed characters anymore ‼️ the only thing any character is allowed to have wrong with them is trauma apparently, otherwise they have to be perfect, and I'm getting sick of it. characters and stories are meant to reflect real life, they're meant to help shape our world view, why are you expecting everyone to be fucking perfect??? what happened to nuance? what happened to understanding character development? you are all acting like characters and people are so black and white. either they're perfect or they're insufferable and evil. I won't lie, the most common victims i've noticed of this are women. but the flawed women are typically demonised, whereas the men are typically turned into uwu baby boys who actually aren't capable of doing anything wrong and then fanon goes nuts making them into ittle wittle victims. and I'm so fucking sick of all of it, I hate this. (obviously this is not a strict rule. Albus Potter, and also Albus Dumbledore now I mention it, are demonised beyond belief)

BRING BACK FLAWS AND BRING BACK NOT COMPLETELY WRITING OFF A CHARACTER BECAUSE THEY DARE TO BE HUMAN

I AM FED UP, ALBUS POTTER GET BEHIND ME

[danmei-confessions]

I see more people complaining about the "Shen Yuan was terminally ill" headcanon more than I see people for it. I don't even see people saying that it's canon, just people complaining about how him being terminally ill isn't canon. It's annoying.

I don't give a shit whether he's portrayed as terminally ill or not in fics, I don't care because it barely changes anything in the plot if it does appear. I don't even see a lot of fics where that's the main focus because there's a whole lot of other shit going on and it's inconsequential to fucking anything. I'm so fucking tired of the fandom just playing "headcanon wars" all the time.

"OOOoohhh Bingqiu would make terrible parents" "Ooohh no they wouldn't" I don't fucking care dude just write whatever you want.

.

[redysetdare]

A character looks straight into the camera and says "I'm not interested in romance" and people will still say "No, it's not confirmed they're aromantic!!!" "They could change their mind!!!" "it's a challenge for them to overcome!!!" "They'll have character development that makes them fall in love"

It's like they are given the most blatant answer to a character romantic orientation and they actively ignore it. all the while all it takes is subtext for people to speak as if it is fact for a character to be any other sexuality.

[horrorsummerromance]

there's an alternate reality where this vegas:

and this pete:

most definitely fuck.

[xhanisai]

every time i (a mixed race girl) come across a post that’s basically saying that Marinette, a mixed race girl, isn’t Chinese enough, my urge to set hellfire on this world increases by 100000000%.

[kyliafanfiction]

I sometimes feel like characters who do truly monstrous things while also having been victims of some pretty insane shit themselves are sort of an exercise in empathy. Or at least, should be seen as such.

Like, in real life, if a person who has been horribly broken by their experiences and failed by society than proceeds to rape someone - it's hard to feel the justifiable sympathy/empathy for that person (without excusing their rape, never do that) because well, you can look at this actual human person they hurt, or worse, and it feels gross and disrespectful to the rape victim.

And this is understandable. (And applies to more than just rapists/rape victims of course, that's just the most visceral one and thus picked for that reason)

But a fictional rape victim is... fictional. You can't 'disrespect' their trauma, and while obviously rape/whatever else is real, and people may related to the rape victim and thus see your comments about the rapist also being a victim as somehow being about their experience...

Well, it's not.

Because the rapist here, didn't actually hurt a real person. Fictional characters are objects. They're objects that often grab us by the throat and refuse to leave our fucking heads, yes, but they're objects. They are tools used by writers to tell a story, and readers to tell a story.

And one of the things fictional characters are good for is allowing us to consider experiences we never had, and imagine ourselves in other circumstances and lives. (Also just fun and fascinating and interesting to watch their stories).

It's very easy to feel for the rape victim in fiction, and rightly so. That's Level 1 Empathy there. Granted, some people IRL fail that, but that's not really what we're talking about here.

Advanced Empathy, hard Empathy is feeling for the rapist. Not for the rape, of course, even if they feel guilt about it, but if someone really was failed on multiple levels and was broken and damaged and went through the sort of psychological wringer that would leave most of us here on tumblr catatonic - they do deserve the same Empathy any human (any person) who went through all that.

Even after they also do the bad thing, critically they still deserve Empathy. And that is fucking hard. I very often have a hard time feeling bad for truly awful people who also deserve empathy and sympathy, real and even fictional (despite all this, yeah, I'm not perfect on this) for what they (separately) went through.

It also becomes even harder when what they went through is utterly bound up with what they did. How what they went through and experiences is in part responsible for what they did - because they still made a choice. The circumstances may have left them not in their right mind, may have left them feeling without choice, may have driven them to things they normally might not think of or do, but they still chose to do that bad thing. And that's not okay. They still hurt someone.

And yet - one cannot remove the action from the circumstances. So you can still feel empathy, and elucidate all the factors and circumstances as to what led up to their choices and why, and it doesn't change that they did the horrible thing. The rape, or the murders, or whatever.

But circling back - with a fictional character... they didn't hurt a real person. There's no one who is real that suffered. The things the character did IRL are bad because they hurt real people.

So you're not being disrespectful to the victim by feeling that empathy, or sympathy. By exploring the things that they were a victim for. Even by wanting to focus on those things - fictional characters should be compelling in all their aspects, if they're written well.

And yet, of course, if you do that empathy and do talk about what the bad person went through and all that context, people come at you. They call you evil, just as bad as the (again, fictional) character, or they say that you're treading dangerously close to the arguments people use to defend the real people who do these things in real life. Or you're disrespecting all the victims of these crimes IRL. Especially of course, if the person coming at you has a reason this comes close to home.

But again - fictional.

In an ideal world, we'd all feel sympathy and empathy when it's called for, regardless of what the person did. Even the worst most monstrous people deserve human treatment in prison. And if you don't have empathy, that's hard. Even if you do have empathy, that's hard.

So if you look at a fictional character (who doesn't hurt a real person by virtue of being fictional) that does horrible, vile things, but went through so much, and you still can't empathize or sympathize with them... I mean, it doesn't make you a bad person, not even close, this is still fiction, and there's people I should empathize with in fiction that I don't, but...

It's still a failure of your ability to be empathetic. And we're all humans. We're all failing at that, among other things, all the time. But... it's good to be aware of that. at least?

At the very least, bear that in mind when other people are talking about that context, and that victimization. And please, for the love of god, don't fucking pretend that the victimization didn't happen, that this person who did do terrible things (in fiction) suddenly didn't also (in fiction) experience awful shit, as if doing a bad thing erases all the bad things done to you.

Again - it doesn't necessarily make you a bad person, but like... the horrible state of prisons in our society is a real, actual problem. The way we as a society dehumanize people who do bad things is a real actual problem for a lot of reasons (not least because it creates an incentive for authority that wants to dehumanize a person or a group to expand the definition of 'did bad things' to make their dehumanization now acceptable, among other things).

So yeah. Fictional character who suffers but than also makes others suffer - that's a useful exercise in Empathy. And doing that doesn't make you or anyone else a bad person, or actually defending the sorts of crimes, IRL or Fictional, that this character did. Contextualizing is not whitewashing, empathy is not erasing, and humanizing is not disrespecting the victim(s).

So yeah, they fictional character did bad things. But there's more to them than that. And you can say but and talk about what comes after but without disrespecting the fictional victim. Because the fictional victim... is just as fictional. Just as not real.

Is it possible for this to end up being taken too far? Yes. But that's a reason to be mindful of yourself when it comes to real people, not to never do it. And when it comes to fictional people - again, fictional. Nobody was actually, really hurt.

(I really do want to make clear, before people read the tags, that this applies to all crimes these sorts of characters do, rape was just picked as the one to use as the example.)

[radmista]

Sowing seeds of discontent and disharmony by hanging up on my parents birthday phone call the second my mom asked if I gained weight. Hope that sits badly on their minds while they think about how that's the first call I've engaged with them in 2 months and it was for the dogs birthday. Dad scrambling to text me for my mom that she didn't mean it. Like fuck I told her I've been having a rough month and day. She couldn't keep it to herself that badly. Fucks sake

[uncanny-tranny]

Look, if you've encountered a disabled person's life or living standards and you personally don't like it, the least you can do is not saying "I'm so grateful I don't like like that" or worse "I'm so glad I'm not you"

It is actually incredibly simple to simultaneously not center yourself and the way you aren't disabled or the way your disabilities don't impact your life like others and to not shame and humiliate others. It's sometimes okay to keep comments like that inside your mind, where it won't hurt that person.

[cinnamon-phrog]

A mutual reblogged a pr*ship post and their dni is now neutral. Unfallowed. Bolcked.

[monachopism]

being jewish with zero affiliation to israel and rather a generational line of activists for palestine is a hard line to walk and sometimes i wish i could just fall off

[irawhiti]

do you guys fucking hear yourselves i'm just wondering. like be fucking for real here. everyone who says that millionaires aren't rich or some other shit because of inflation and prices going up owes every homeless person who has to read this shit $3000. guess what, things are just as expensive for the filthy poors WITHOUT a million dollars, too! usually a hell of a lot more expensive in the long run, actually! the cost of living getting more expensive affects EVERYONE. a flat $1000 is almost nothing to a millionaire while being a fucking life changer for many people living in poverty! come on now.

[stormxpadme]

People in the fucking 90s already: Please stop it with the love triangle.

Marvel writers: Anyone say sum'thin?

Poly people rejoicing at Krakoa finally solving that damn thing: See? We've been telling you, poly exists.

Marvel: Ahahahhaha, yeah, let's kill that whole timeline because too many bigots buy our comics, oops.

People: Okay, but it's the year of the good Lord 2024, we won't have to deal with that shit all over again in the new show, right?

X-Men 97: You know what, I'll give you not one but TWO love triangles.

[galaxywhump]

Lmao I hate Polish people

[bootyful-seventeen]

i am too mentally exhausted to even deal with this shit anymore with my mom and grandma and low key wish i'd go comatose for a few years to be left alone tbh