bilgisticallykosher

[bilgisticallykosher]

Listen, this was the most immediate "Follow" I've ever pressed.

While I do Taschlich with bread, it's not necessary to do it with bread. You do turn out your pockets, but regardless, the dwarf bread isn't necessarily the thing brought into question. For sure there are "fish" in the Ankh, maybe even some actual fish. But it's definitely not fresh water. It's debatably water at all, let alone fresh.

Anyway, 10/10 poll, OP.

Performing tashlich with dwarf bread on the River Ankh

[bilgisticallykosher]

Wheezing laughing. I almost didn't catch Tommy in the last one. Your descriptions are so accurate and so right and funny.

@i-cant-find-a-good-username Like the "Jewish or Blue" series you linked me! Jew or P.U.

alrighty folks buckle up for the fifth year of menorabilia ratings! I've scoured the internet (and my eyeballs) so get ready for the best and worst chanukah merchandise of the year

okay first I just need to get these fuckin gnomes out of the way. ideally permanently. this guy's hat has so much going on I don't know where to begin. the menorah? not kosher. also wrong. the dreidels? certainly have,,, something written on them. everyone knows reindeer love chanukah, the lighting fires holiday. 5/10 at least it's got SOMEWHAT of a cuteness factor

turning old CDs into fake sufganiyot is certainly creative bc that's the only explanation for those monstrosities that I'll accept. please don't spin your spontaneous combustion menorahs on top of your dreidels. it won't bring the next season any faster. 4/10 I'll put up with a lot if you're offering to pay for my netflix account

they are Setting That Torah On Fire. is that why there's an oil jug next to a candle menorah. 6/10 the פ instead of a ש‎ on the dreidel is because the miracle is just the torah not bursting into flames

this really puts the messy in messianic. it's got the wrong amount of branches. why is the shamash just two stacked cups. the cross looks like an airplane. oh god it also has the jesus fish. -76162802492/10 never knew a single image could contain so much No.

some of these menorahs are kosher and some are not which really spices things up. what a fun little game of I spy for me. I enjoy the addition of various happy animals celebrating chanukah but were the santa hats really necessary? 7/10 that bottom dreidel has two נ‎s. none dreidel with left coins.

I can acknowledge that it's an attempt to jewish-ize a christmas thing but tinsel is, unfortunately, occasionally, pretty. weird choice to have all the menorahs have נ‎s but sure. what's that? those are dreidels? wrong. take a look at the helpful next image of this item.

do you see it yet? here let me help.

clearly those are menorahs. we light them on fire and spin them as fast as we can. first one to die loses. 5/10 google is your friend

move over fiddler on the roof chassidim with bottle balancing skills, here come some cats with impressive candle dexterity. this may not be a kosher menorah but their TAILS are the BRANCHES. 7/10 I am easily won over by the presence of cats okay

canon jewish representation, a spinning dreidel, a kosher menorah, some chocolate gelt, and they're eating fresh latkes. I needed these yesterday. 10/10 rugrats my beloved never lets me down

(previous years 1, 2, 3, 4)

[bilgisticallykosher]

Milk chocolate all the way.

The people at my job seem to have this belief that Jewish people prefer dark chocolate to milk chocolate, so, as a milk chocolate lover, I have a question for you.

and please reblog to reach more people!

[bilgisticallykosher]

I definitely remember seeing another version of "are furbies kosher" that involved a lot more arguing and debating, but you know what 10/10 no notes, this made me fucking cackle.

i just woke up from a dream where i was being interrogated by a bunch of people asking me if “furbies are kosher” firstly…. im not jewish. secondly……..what the fuck

[bilgisticallykosher]

Wooooah! Gorgeous!

@sleepyjimjams

Decided to redraw my Candle Girls from last holiday season, and a new friend of theirs that someone suggested I include- Kwanzaa!

Once again, happy candle month to all who celebrate!

[bilgisticallykosher]

Mazel tov, ¡y felicidades! That's so wonderful! (Also I love your username, "No, my mother was Jewish, Epstein is an old Puerto Rican name.")

mazel tov to me and @jacob-the-pianist

we met on tumblr and we will die on tumblr

[bilgisticallykosher]

! My "sets a trap" tag.

The next Tumblr addition should be the ability to set traps for mutuals. Like you mark a post as being a trap for so-and-so, and when they reblog they get a little pop up of a box propped up with a stick falling and the words "Haha! @phaeton-flier knew you would reblog that!"

[bilgisticallykosher]

[bilgisticallykosher]

Happy Chanukat.

Also, that picture of a cat is of one of our cats that started a fire one year and burnt our table. We have since sat at the table until the candles were completely done.

[bilgisticallykosher]

No Need To Panic

Assorted pastries and other revelations.

Masterpost | AO3

Word count: 1,129

Warnings: brief perceived homophobia (it isn't), and one kinda sexual line.

I want to give a big thank you to @i-can-kazoo and @genesisexorcistleviathan for helping me! Much better fic now, thanks to them.

So what happened was that I saw the post with these tweets (not that last one) and this canon line gifset. And then they lodged themselves in my subconscious until a line popped into my head. So I thought I'd better just write this.

---

The station's relative peace was broken when Shawn and Gus burst in through the door, evidently in the middle of one of their bickering sessions.

"I'm just saying, Finchy seems to have moved on from your cocoa dream boat self." He gestured at Gus before putting both hands on his chest, gesturing down at himself. "Looks like he's into some vanilla bean nowadays."

"Vanilla beans are black, Shawn."

"Don't just make up facts to throw me off, Gus; jealousy doesn't become you."

"I am not making up facts. I know what common pastry ingredients look like." He paused and then amended, "And I am not jealous of you! You shouldn't have even been over there. It was a work meeting!"

"And I was meeting people from your work!"

"The meats and cheeses are touching, Shawn. You're treifing it all up!" Gus pointed at him angrily.

"It's under one sixtieth, Gus!"

"Boys, boys," Juliet stood up from where she had been looking at papers by Lassiter's desk. She clapped twice to get their attention. "What's going on now?" She asked like a teacher looking over her misbehaving class.

"Jules!" Shawn smiled at her brightly while Gus nodded politely, crossing his arms. "We were just discussing how Finchy- you remember Gus's coworker, right?" He hopped up backwards onto a nearby desk.

"The one that was in love with Gus?"

"Tsk!"

"That's the one! Well, I think lately he's been interested in me instead." He paused to let McNab pass through to Lassiter's desk with some files. "Offered me a little 'private jam session' when I was over there with Gus. He wants him some Shawnie boy!"

"Don't make me sick," Lassiter finally spoke up, lifting his head from his work that clearly wasn't getting done with the interruptions. McNab gasped.

"Detective!" Buzz was shocked. "Now, what kind of attitude is that to have?"

"Homophobia is not in style," Gus chided, uncrossing his arms.

"Oh, please." Lassiter rolled his eyes, leaning back in his chair. "I'm just Spencer-phobic. The idea of anyone willingly flirting with him gives me the heebie jeebies," he clarified.

"I'm right here..." Juliet frowned, arms out.

"I'm hurt, Lassie. Truly."

"Yeah!" Buzz put his non-file-holding arm around Shawn's shoulders with a grin. "Shawn's a great guy!" He gave him a pat on the arm, Shawn looking a combination of cocky and pleased, before taking his arm off again. "No matter what gender he likes!"

"I'm touched," Shawn put a hand on his chest. "You're the best, buddy!" He winked and took his hand off to point and shoot a finger gun at him, making a noise as he "fired" it.

"Aw." He waved his hand at him as though pushing the praise away. "You're the best!" He grinned, all teeth, and continued on his way back to the file room. Gus frowned at the display, shaking his head a little. Lassiter unintentionally mirrored him.

"That kind of thing doesn't really matter to me, anyway," Lassiter continued on, as though he hadn't been interrupted. Juliet nodded.

"Well, your mom is married to a woman. I guess it makes sense that other people's sexualities wouldn't bother you." Lassiter turned to her, frowning with a raised eyebrow.

"What do you mean 'other people's'? I thought we were talking about me."

"Wow..." Juliet's eyebrows raised up, and she sucked her lips into her mouth, amused.

"Mm-mm-mm." Gus shook his head again. "That's some ego."

"Truly aspirational." Shawn intoned solemnly. There was a brief moment while he processed his words. "Wait, so what did you mean by," he adopted a snooty voice, "'That kind of thing doesn't matter to me' then?" Lassiter shot him an unimpressed look.

"I mean, woman, man, in between, neither. Doesn't really matter to me," he shrugged easily. Gus squinted in thought.

"Oh!" Juliet looked surprised. "I never knew that..." Lassiter looked surprised at her reaction right back.

"You never asked."

"So, it sounds like you're pansexual?" Gus tilted his head curiously, more statement than question.

"Wow," Shawn golf clapped. "Way to go, Lassie! Good for you." Lassiter rolled his eyes again. Shawn brought two fisted hands up to his mouth, pointer fingers up in thought. "So when you're going at it with your preferred breakfast food, would you say the butter or the syrup is more helpful during your trysts?" The other three cringed.

"Ugh, Shawn." Juliet looked disgusted.

"Do not ruin pancakes for me!" Gus straightened up. "Pansexual, usually defined as someone for whom gender isn't a factor in attraction, although some people may define it differently." Lassiter raised his eyebrows and pursed his lips.

"Yeah. I guess that's accurate." Lassiter nodded. Shawn snorted.

"Well, thank you for being such an ally, but 'for whom'? C'mon!"

"I can not do this with you right now, Shawn."

"Gus, don't be exactly three point one four."

"Aw, man!" Gus scrunched up his face in distress. "Now I want pie!" He pulled out his phone to look for a place to get some nearby.

"So, Lassie," Shawn got off the desk and wandered over to him. Lassiter watched him warily as he made his way behind him.

"Cherry. Pumpkin. Key lime." Gus scrolled through his options. Juliet was hiding her mouth behind her hand, trying not to laugh.

"Pan-"

"Apple."

"-sexual, huh? Well, good for you, man." Lassiter squinted at him, suspicious.

"Spencer, if you have some immature joke in mind, you can stuff it." Shawn lifted his hands up in surrender.

"Naw, hey, come on! I have my limits. I'm not making fun of you or anything." He let his arms flop down, hands coming to rest on Lassiter's shoulders. "Really," he gave him an encouraging rub. "Good for you. Proud of you for coming out." Lassiter sneered and rolled his shoulders to dislodge him before swiveling in his chair so he was facing him.

"...Thanks." Lassiter was still glaring at him, until he turned back to Gus suddenly.

"Hey!" He called over. "To the blueberry to eat some blueberry?"

"We're not eating it in the car," Gus shot back, not even looking up.

"But now I'm hungry. You can't expect me to wait until we get back to the office!"

"No eating pie in the car. It's a company car, Shawn!" The bickering continued in the background, and Juliet leaned over.

"Carlton, thank you so much for telling us. It means a lot that you would trust us with this private information." She smiled at him.

"But I don't c-" he paused when he looked at her face, all happy and delighted, then seemed to think better of it, and sighed. He smiled. "Not a problem, O'Hara." And without a word (aside from the background noise of the pie argument), they went back to reviewing the case file.

---

First line that popped into my head was the "We're talking about me" one.

Did you find the hidden pineapple?

Tagging: @gothfoxx @brain-deadx0 and @callboxkat because you've expressed familiarity with Psych...although tbh Kat, you'd have gotten the tag anyway.

[bilgisticallykosher]

Reblogging for ease of finding. Hilarious reaction from Lassie. 😂

Psych

season 6, episode 15, "True Grits"

[bilgisticallykosher]

Reblogging again to add this tweet.

Lassie came out 14 years ago today!

Congratulations to my favorite fruity detective <3

[bilgisticallykosher]

Man, I didn't even think Chanukah was one of the High Holidays...

Happy Stanukkah

[bilgisticallykosher]

Really disheartening to see. I was on the board for Rainbow Pride Union. We were right across the hall (it was like a weird corner thing, so the doors were like a few feet away) from Hillel. We co-sponsored a few events between us. I went to Chabad, and I was not the only queer person there, by a long shot. One guy regularly attended with his boyfriend, who were also on the board for RPU.

There was a thing Chabad did once a year, where you were supposed to invite a bunch of people for a Shabbat dinner (goal was for 1800 people to come), hopefully Jewish, but non-Jews very welcome. I sponsored a whole table of queer people from RPU.

I just. People really pretend they don't see this for what it is. The communities intermingled so well. It's so, so disheartening.

This article was produced as part of JTA’s Teen Journalism Fellowship, a program that works with Jewish teens around the world to report on issues that affect their lives.

“How does it feel to be on the wrong side of history?” These were the words flung at a student wearing a Star of David necklace by a leader of one of Binghamton University’s LGBTQ+ clubs.

When the visibly shaken student found Myles Resnick, in the Hillel office, Resnick, a queer peer leader, empathized. Tensions were escalating on campus following the narrow passage of a boycott, divestment and sanctions resolution against Israel on campus last April. But the hurled comment stung Resnick because it came from a friend of his who led an LGBTQ+ organization Resnick was active in. 

This exchange reflects the growing rift between LGBTQ+ activists and Jewish students, many of whom feel increasingly isolated by the strong pro-Palestinian stance within queer organizations. At Binghamton, support for BDS from LGBTQ+ groups, including the university’s Rainbow Pride Union, mirrors a broader national trend of queer groups aligning with the pro-Palestinian cause.

These groups include No Justice No Pride, ACT UP NYC, National Queer Asian Pacific Islander Alliance, and Black and Pink, allof which have taken public stances deeply critical of Israel and Zionism since the Hamas attacks of Oct. 7, 2023 and the subsequent war. Many queer Jewish teens who once looked to these groups for solidarity and support now feel marginalized by their positions. Disagreeing with the organizations’ statements, they say they feel ostracized from the broader LGBTQ+ community. For these already vulnerable teens, the shift has deepened their sense of isolation and alienation.

Sophia Barenholtz, a senior at a high school in Essex County, New Jersey, has found herself feeling increasingly unsafe and unwelcome in her own LGBTQ+ community. “I have definitely noticed the tendency for LGBTQ+ organizations to take an anti-Zionist, and often antisemitic, stance on the Israel-Hamas War,” she said. “It has made me feel unsafe and unwanted in my own community, and has me questioning the integrity and critical thinking skills of my LGBTQ peers.” 

Barenholtz said that she finds it disappointing that a community that values open-mindedness and understanding won’t consider the voices of queer Jews asking for Israel to be given a chance. 

“Instead of engaging in meaningful dialogue, some people have called me antisemitic slurs, sent me death threats, and wished for me to impose unspeakable harm upon myself,” Barenholtz said. “It’s especially unfortunate that these remarks have come from members of my school’s LGBTQ+ organizations and members of the LGBTQ+ community.” Barenholtz’s school district is currently under a federal investigation for an unspecified allegation of bias related to the disputes between Muslim and Jewish students

Meanwhile, accusations against Israel of “pinkwashing” highlight another wedge within the community. Israel, which advocates describe as a haven for LGBTQ+ people, decriminalized same sex relations in 1988 and passed many anti-discriminatory laws to protect LGBTQ+ individuals in the 1990s. Critics claim the country uses LGBTQ+ rights and promotes these positions to obscure its treatment of Palestinians. Israel’s defenders point to the harsh treatment of LGBTQ+ individuals in Gaza and neighboring regions, including Egypt and Lebanon. In 2016, a Hamas leader was tortured and executed after being accused of being gay, according to a report in the left-leaning Haaretz. 

On Oct. 7, the one-year anniversary of the Hamas terrorist attack on Israel, the New York City-based Anti-Violence Project, an LGBTQ+ defense group, issued a statement accusing Israel of “genocide.” A Wider Bridge, which promotes ties between LGBTQ+ groups in America and Israel, called the statement inflammatory and unhelpful, and said it reflected a “callous indifference to the human suffering experienced” on Oct. 7 and after, “particularly by LGBTQ Jews in New York City.”

Shir Levenson, a Jewish LGBTQ+ high school junior from Long Island, said that pro-Palestinian stances from LGBTQ+ groups make her feel disconnected. “When these groups take such extreme positions, it makes me feel like I don’t belong,” she said. Levenson explained that she’s unfollowed influencers and celebrities, including  Matt Bernstein and Reneé Rapp, because of what she calls their anti-Israel and pro-Palestinian narrative. “I thought they’d recognize the truth and support Israel, which is more accepting of LGBTQ people, rather than places where we’re persecuted,” she said. “Their extreme positions, like accusing Israel of genocide, don’t acknowledge the humanity on both sides.”

JTA reached out to ACT UP NYC for comment but received no response. The group’s website accuses Israel of genocide and states that “Israel bombs Queers,” while also criticizing GLAAD, a leading LGBTQ+ media monitoring group, for not taking a stance on the conflict. GLAAD, which has faced criticism for its partnership with the Antidefamation League, released a statement in October expressing sympathy for all those affected by the conflict and calling for an end to antisemitism and Islamophobia. Pro-Palestinian advocates boycotted GLAAD’s 2024 awards, an event that celebrates LGBTQ+ trailblazers.

Some within the LGBTQ+ Jewish community do not feel this tension. Avi Chesler, from Huntington, New York, said he feels comfortable in LGBTQ+ affinity spaces. He blames the natural divisions that the issue causes, and laments “some of my Jewish community’s [inability] to acknowledge Palestinian suffering alongside Israeli suffering, despite the constant pain for all affected that so many members of the community feel.”

Jewish Voice for Peace, an anti-Zionist organization, links LGBTQ+ liberation with broader social justice goals, including justice for Palestinians. “At JVP, we understand that all people’s liberation is intertwined, and we work towards a world where everyone is safe and free,” media coordinator Liv Kunins-Berkowitz said. “Our commitment to LGBTQ+ rights is inextricably linked with ending genocide, occupation, apartheid, and militarism, which endangers queer people across the world. Queer liberation in Palestine is only possible in a free Palestine.”

Other Jewish groups remain committed to supporting LGBTQ+ youth while acknowledging the pain on both sides of the conflict. “LGBTQ+ Jewish youth deserve, always, to feel genuine belonging as their full, authentic selves,” Keshet, a Jewish LGBTQ+ organization, wrote in a statement to JTA. 

“Especially since the attacks against Israel on October 7th and the ensuing war in Gaza — with ongoing loss and suffering for both Israelis and Palestinians, we have seen an increase in painful division and hate,” wrote Jamie Krass, Keshet’s director of youth programs. “In these times, it is particularly critical that queer Jewish youth have access to affirming community, without needing to leave any parts of their identities at the door.” 

Amelia Mamlet, a queer, Jewish and openly Zionist high school senior from New Jersey, felt the growing tension firsthand. “I’ve noticed that a lot of LGBTQ+ organizations I once followed have taken pro-Palestinian or even anti-Israel stances. It makes me feel unseen,” she said. Mamlet described her discomfort watching liberal groups that she once supported adopt strong anti-Israel positions. “I’m more liberal myself, but when I see these organizations being anti-Israel, it feels like I can’t stand with them, even though I agree with so many of their other ideologies,” Mamlet said. “It leaves me feeling like there’s no place for someone like me.”

Mamlet said LGBTQ+ organizations should focus on supporting queer individuals rather than taking divisive political stances on international conflicts. “We’re already vulnerable. These spaces are supposed to protect us, not alienate us further.”

Mia Rubenstein, a sophomore at Tufts University, once considered the LGBTQ+ Center on her campus a safe space. “Before the conflict, the Q Center felt welcoming,” she said. As part of a pre-orientation LGBTQ+ advocacy group, Rubenstein found comfort there. “But after October 7, they publicly supported Palestine, and it made me feel really uncomfortable.” The center ran events with Students for Justice in Palestine, or SJP, and Rubenstein noticed the group following SJP on social media while showing no support for Jewish or pro-Israel groups. 

“It felt like you had to be LGBTQ and pro-Palestine to be welcomed. You couldn’t just be LGBTQ without also subscribing to their political stance,” she said. This realization left her feeling disconnected from a community she had invested time in. 

Resnick, the Binghamton student, felt a similar shift when LGBTQ organizations, such as the Rainbow Pride Union, a queer student club, endorsed a BDS resolution in April. Though Binghamton’s official LGBTQ+ center didn’t take an official position, its leadership expressed anti-Israel views and continued to run events with groups such as the Rainbow Pride Union.

“The president of the Rainbow Pride Union used to be a close friend, and now I’m literally blocked on Instagram,” he said. After voicing support for Israel and speaking out against the BDS resolution, Resnick faced backlash from his peers. “I released an article to share at the [BDS] hearing, and after that, I was slammed by people who were very involved in the queer community.”

“That was the moment [when] it all sort of clicked for me. This isn’t just something we’re tiptoeing around. This is something that’s really important to me, and it made me feel like I can’t be in that space if I disagree,” he said.

[bilgisticallykosher]

Yehudit made it work! You can, too!

chanukah decor ideas

• tastefully arranged gelt - doubles as a snack!

• menorah!!! Even if you aren't lighting, put a bunch of them all over your house!

• lots of gold and yellow ribbons, to represent the miracle of the oil! The reason for the season!

• Helifornes's head on a stick.

[bilgisticallykosher]

SCOOBY JEW! Jewpy.......... I love them.

Also that's a really detailed talit, wow. Your mom did really excellent work!

for hanukkah my mom made me a jewish snoopy w a kippah and a star of david necklace and she secretly also made a scooby doo with a tallit and a star of david and a kippah and his name is scooby jew and he is my best friend

[bilgisticallykosher]

Judaism but g/t??? Oh my god. I never read this book, but I love it so much, omg omg omg.

My favorite part was the in second part (if you're reading this, please read the second part) where all the other families came in, too. The Pequeños. Sephardi borrowers?! Amazing. I love this so much.

Also the tiny little mezuzah on their opening! Uuugh the details. I'm so happy right now.

@callboxkat

When Mindy Saved Hanukkah- by Eric A. Kimmel, pictures by Barbara McClintock.

Part 1 [you are here!] Part 2 [click here]  Glossary of Jewish Words [here]

This was one of my favorite books from when I was young so I thought I would upload it