#i'm just sad today idk
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kinda makes me sad when i remember how the jade winglet treats winter in canon
like they fuckin hate his guts! they lie and they hide and they backstab and like. bro??
#i get the brainwashing spell but. bro?????#can you not hide major events that will change the course of history from him???#imagine how much anxiety he must have around what happened to darkstalker because from his pov nobody knows#what if he's in a mountain again?#not skeletons#not art#wof#wings of fire#winter wof#i'm just sad today idk#ough. wait i might know why. fuck.#fuckkkk nooooo#not tapeworms#yellow yaps
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reblog to give ur mutuals a soft lil kissy on the head
#i can't reblog this from everyone so this is just me giving all my mutuals a soft lil kissy on the head#if u see this#*muah*#soft lil kissy on the head#and if u don't want one u can have a head pat#or i can lovingly send soft lovey vibes your way#all options are valid#idk i just#need to spread some love today#i'm tired and sad and stressed#so i'm giving u all some love#bc i need to fill myself with more of it#love u all hope u have/are having a good day#mutuals#not stargate
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The worst part about trying to figure out what Crocodile's deal is that because he's so fucking irredeemably evil in Alabasta... Like... Yeah he's just irredeemably evil. Like I love him but he did cause countless casualties, a ton of pain and suffering and literally attempted to blow up a million people
Like no amount of theoretical "trying to do it to save his son from the Government" or "trying to stop the Government from hurting anyone else" or just "doing it for the greater good" is going to make him any less of a mass murderer
But also Robin absolutely 100% helped with all of that shit simply because she wanted to read the Poneglyph for herself.
No amount of her intending to betray Crocodile from the begining and sabotaging his plans erases the fact that Robin also caused countless people to starve to death and die in the civil war. Her sabotages only succeeded out of sheer luck, and only spared the lives of the people at the final battle. She has the blood of countless innocents on her hands. Because she wanted to read history.
But her crimes were swept under the rug because she has a sad backstory and her sabotages worked out just at the nick of time by sheer dumb luck
So Croc??? Just??? Is there a chance??? At all???
But also he did literally intend to sell Buggy into slavery
Like, fuck Buggy, but jesus
What's also killing me is that we like. Don't know what Luffy thinks of Crocodile right now. Which really is like. The thing that will decide how we, as the readers, are supposed to feel about Crocodile. Luffy is our POV
Like we don't know what Luffy's opinion of Crocodile is after he helped save Luffy (and spared Ace once) during the Summit War. Like Luffy clearly fucking hated the man in Impel Down and the two interactions they had during the War weren't like positive (in the sense that Luffy himself didn't think of the interactions as particularly positive. Defending Whitebeard from being attacked once and then being like "wait what HIM?!" when Crocodile defended Ace. To be fair, in the midst of the chaos, there wasn't much time to spend on Pondering On Such Things because Ace needed to be saved, and Oda goes out of his way to not show us what's going on inside Luffy's head, because it's all meant to be out in the open anyways. Regardless, these weren't like "yay it's Crocodile! :)" moments for Luffy is what I mean)
But also Luffy was very grateful of Law for saving his life and was willing to put his trust into Law for their alliance- of course, they weren't explicitly enemies to begin with, rivals at most, but still. Luffy respects those who help him.
But also Luffy grew during the timeskip. Like he's not that clueless anymore (like he finally understands Hancock is in love with him etc), and similarly Luffy gets that Buggy is an absolute loser now. But also Buggy did also help save Luffy's life (even if it was by accident), and while IDK if Luffy is aware of that, I don't think that helped improve Luffy's impression of Buggy
So like. The fuck does Luffy think of Crocodile, at this moment? Even with the Cross Guild reveal, he didn't even really comment on Croc and just focused his energy on being confused about Buggy being "the leader" of CG. IDK it feels almost intentional or something, that we don't know what Luffy thinks?? Especially since we did get Zoro's opinion on Mihawk in the situation?? Or am I delulu?? (Sidenote. I'd love to know what Robin would have to say about Crocodile helping save Luffy's life. What Jinbei might think of the final words Crocodile left him with before blasting them out of Akainu's reach. But mainly just Robin's thoughts)
Like IDK my best guess would be that Luffy still hates Crocodile just the same but is like grossed out by technically owing him one??? In the classic
-kinda way, you know? And that he'd be just kinda confused about it?
Because I can't fucking imagine Luffy being like "oh we're cool now" with Crocodile, let alone "Yay Crocodile :) He saved my life!". But also like. Luffy does kind of owe Croc one. Kind of. And Luffy is usually very respectful of that kind of thing. Aaaaaaaa???
(Also does. Does Luffy even know it was Crocodile who yeeted him and Jinbei out of Akainu's reach to begin with. 'Cause he was unconcious. Knocked the fuck out. Does. Does Luffy even know. Did anybody tell him???)
I just.
There's the reasonable part of me that knows Crocodile is an irredeemable evil dickbag and everything he has ever said and done up to the most recent chapters support that. He is too far gone.
And then there's the absolutely delulu part that loves a tragic villian who gets a heartwrenching redemption that's looking for any fucking sign that could indicate Crocodile could maybe be one
#Moon posting#OP Meta#OP Spoilers#Sir Crocodile#Crocodad#Haunted by thoughts of one (1) evil middle aged man#IDK I was rereading Punk Hazard today while on the train and just. God there's like no difference between Alabasta Croc and Ceasar#I mean there is but no there isn't. Dude was doing essentially the same shit just this time with much more child abuse#And we all agree that Ceasar is scum of the earth and irredeemable.#But also he was doing everything PURELY out of self-interest without ANY sad backstory to counter balance it#I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO THINK ANYMORE MAN I AM LOSING MY MARBLES#Kuma Flashback I Love You but I need to know what the fuck is happening with Crocodile so bad pleeeaaase#There's also like that note about Kuma saying he'd be wiling to make a deal with the devil just to protect his daughter#And If Crocodad Real. What a greater evolution of that but being wiling to BECOME the devil himself to protect your child#Also sorry about the Buggy slander but also not sorry. All that man is good for is being a punching bag for comedy as far as I'm concerned#He's very funny I'll give you that. And I'm looking forward to him and Shanks getting married
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With today's entry, I was rather surprised and confused that Johnathan seemed to turn around so quickly from the absolute pit of despair he was in yesterday, having newfound determination and energy when he's seemingly been completely hopeless and inactive for weeks now (and for good reason). Not that I ever thought he'd completely given up, but there's definitely been a slow decline in how descriptive his journal entries have been to reflect his declining mental state (more robotic, less of his actual feelings about things), and today was a sharp contrast; it feels more like the early entries again. I thought, well, his mind is probably just so cracked at this point that he's looped all the way back around to being bold and energetic again, because by now he's desperate enough to throw caution to the wind: he either succeeds doing something extremely reckless to escape, or he fails and meets his end in a far better way than if he just waits for his fate by Dracula's hands.
...But having thought about it and reading other posts, I realized (probably stupidly obvious as it is) that his sudden change in mood probably has to do with what happened to the baby. Despite how scared he's been all this time, yesterday he didn't hesitate for a single second to try to save the baby once he realized from the previous incident what was happening, not thinking about his own life at all. And then he despaired when he couldn't save the child, the first time he's mentioned crying in the book at all, and then he had to witness the mother blaming him for her baby's death, and being killed herself for trying to rescue it. Now, the day after that horrific and heartbreaking failure, he's suddenly more determined than he's been in ages to escape. Maybe that was a turning point for Johnathan, and lit a fire under him... maybe he's clinging to the need to escape not just for himself and the people he loves anymore, but for the vain hope that he can put a stop to Dracula's schemes somehow once he gets out, because he doesn't want to let any more children die :' )
#dracula#dracula daily#i'm a new reader so idk how much this is going into headcanon territory or will be backed up later#but i wonder if johnathan feels protective of children because he and mina want kids#i mean he's a good and sweet man so i'm sure he would react the same regardless even if he didn't have a fiance#but if he's planning to one day become a father i'm sure that makes his feelings even stronger :')#he hears those babies crying and thinks about if those had been his and mina's future children. man.#i'm sure that would have made him empathize with the mother even more too; if mina wants to have a child..........#ahhhhhhh i've made myself sad. yesterday's and today's part just made me so sad 😭💔#johnathan you're so good and brave 😭 you're doing your best 😭 it'll be okay in the end 😭#oops i projected paternal instincts onto a soft male blorbo again-#okay but now i need an au where by some miracle he manages to abscond with a baby dracula brings to be killed and it's just#Johnathan And Baby Against The World (vampire)#does that exist. please tell me johnathan and kids content exist cause 🥹🥹🥹#idk how it would work but thinking about it makes me emotional lol :' )
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[ID in alt text]
Another wip! It's kind of almost done :)
#sha gojyo#saiyuki#wip#gotta tag talk for a sec -#idk if it's weird or inappropriate considering the smiley mood of the wip but I just kinda need to#cw: death I guess#life's so so bizar right now - just. incomprehensible in a way#I don't know how to describe what's going on in my head#with my dad being on his death bed#on one hand it's all consuming and on the other. like. life is still happening? I worked today. did work things#I'm working on this light-hearted little comic and it feels almost rude to keep drawing it#like whatever I make should be sad or angry or whatever#or not at all#but this is still what I wanna draw#I keep thinking about fucking Inktober bc it's something that brings me joy normally#but I will absolutely not be able to do it and it's so so so unimportant in the grand scheme of things#I have sketches that I like so idk they'll get finished eventually#got a message about a commission I would love to do but the deadline is in around December#and I just can't know if I'll even be able to do#it's just impossible to imagine my dad pretty much definitely not being here in two months#let alone what life will be like and what *I'll* be like#it's so weird#danikunst#fanart#described#1
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futurama season 4 operated on such a cosmic galaxy brain level that it low-key puts any other season of television to shame and the writers kinda fucked up putting their whole pussy into it bc they have yet to produce anything that is even half as solid and consistent. you want heart wrenching emotion that makes you cry but also makes you smile so big because you just love these characters so much? put on "leela's home world." you want heart breaking emotion that makes you cry and have to shut down from the world for a bit because you don't feel anyone loves you as much as seymour did fry but also that's the whole point of the episode so it makes you have an existential crisis? put on "jurassic park." you want Actually Good social commentary? pop in "crimes of the hot" or "a taste of freedom." you want to celebrate your fav found family? put on the comedic bangers that are "teenage mutant leela's hurdles" or "the farnsworth parabox." you want the best romantic payoff of any television series ever? watch "the why of fry." you want an episode that is utter cinematic perfection? "the sting" is right there. and the ultimate cosmic galaxy brain move of making the intended series finale a fucking musical? just absolute genius work. season 4 will never be topped and sometimes I wonder, why bother trying?
#futurama#idk i'm just having feelings today#and i'm sad ab how I feel ab the current state of this show
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I'm not really feeling like myself today so I'm gonna indulge myself a little.
I don't remember the last time I talked about anal on here but more specifically, I'm imagining Lee and his little innocent wife again (I know you've all missed Lee as much as I have 🥵)
I think anal would be something she wouldn't often ask for because I always imagine she's quite shy about asking for what she wants but anal becomes one of their mutual favourites very quickly.
The way Lee would dote on you before anal just makes me melt. He's not nearly as reckless and rough. It's all gentle praises and soft kisses, trailing his thick fingers against your soaked sex until they're well enough coated in your arousal that he can slide two into your ass.
He'd be so mesmerised by the way you enjoy it; watching the sweet, innocent woman he married begin to explore her own sexuality and slowly start to indulge in fantasies she'd never admitted to anyone else just does it for him.
Lee's not a stranger to toys in the bedroom but nothing makes him hard like the memory of the first evening he came home from work to his wife, a couple of days after he'd got you a cute little princess plug.
He's usually greeted with a brief kiss when he comes in the door but that night, you couldn't tear your mouth off his if you tried. He tastes faintly of the toffees he keeps in the car but his mouth is so warm and distinctly his, it's addictive.
"What's gotten into you, sweetie?" You've pressed yourself flush against his body, standing on your tiptoes to kiss him while your fingers hook his belt loops, pulling him closer.
" 'm sorry. I need you." You've been worked up all day, imagining how your husband will touch you when he gets home and now he's here, you don't want to wait. The dinner can burn for all you care.
You notice how warm his hands are as they shift from your waist, reaching down to squeeze your ass and when you whimper against his mouth, it all clicks for him.
"Livin' room, sweetheart." That's exactly where he wants to be right now, instead of cramped in your tiny little hallway and when you don't make a move, he scoops you up and carries you there before sitting down in his armchair.
"Turn around. Bend over." They're clear instructions. Your feet are planted between his as you follow his lead. He pulls the skirt of your dress up and your underwear down your legs.
"God, do y'have any idea how wet you are?" The sparkling end of the plug sits neatly between the cheeks of your ass but it's hard to miss the way your slick arousal seems to almost glisten on your skin in the dim lighting.
Your breath catches in your throat feeling your husband trail his thick fingers from your neglected clit, back to tease your soaked entrance. Your body resists him pressing into you though. Having one hole filled at a time is more than enough for you for now.
"Thought I'd try it this mornin'. Slipped it in before I started the cleaning." You might feel embarrassed at how exposed you are if you weren't so turned on. "Couldn't even think straight by noon."
"Such a good girl for me. Shoulda called, honey. I'd have come straight home" He taps the base of the plug rhythmically and even that's enough to make you squirm. With his other hand, he's palming his own cock through his work trousers but that's not his main focus in that moment.
"Let me take the edge off for you. I'll take real good care of you after dinner, how does that sound?" His fingers circle your clit with the kind of ease that only comes with practice while he taps the base of the plug with the fingers of his other hand. Your body flutters around the metal inside you, offering a pleasant reminder of how full you feel and you're quite sure nothing will compare to the evening you have ahead of you.
#becca's thots#becca writes spice#lee bodecker smut#lee bodecker x reader#lee bodecker x reader smut#idk the whole innocent wife who's secretly as filthy as he is suits lee's character so well#I'm so convinced hormonal bc is the root of all evil#there was no good time for me to take a week off it so I've been taking it for like 3 months straight#and now I'm stopping for a week and I just know this is gonna kick my ass#everything I tried to write today was so sad#the dialogue all had a weird gravity that I didn't like#I'm working in my second job all this week though#so I'll get to reschedule my mortgage appointment#I've found an adorable little house that I really love#it's been totally renovated and it has a cute little back garden#I'd get my little vegetable plot 🥺#Belle would still be able to watch the birds out the living room window
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As artists, we keep complaining about apps and websites with algorithms that hide our art and people just don't see it (but we see ads out the wazoo).
But what about tumblr? probably the only site out there that still shows things chronologically and lets the user see what they want? Amazing right? well it's fucking not!
These are the notes of some of my gifsets and fanart I've posted (for popular fandoms btw, mostly Good Omens). Look at the difference between likes and reblogs
And you need to take into account that at least 8 of those reblogs are my own, as I try to get the thing that took me hours to be seen! And sometimes multiple reblogs from the same kind friend who also helps me out.
You see? It's not the algorithms that are discouraging artists. It's you guys too! I'm not making this post to be rude or demand attention, my point is. You want gorgeous art of your favorite charactes? Amazing fanfics that keep you up at night? Gifs of every scene? Meta posts that discuss every detail of your fave tv show? all of that for free? Then do something!
Help artists out, likes are nice, sure but they don't mean anything. Reblogs mean you saw something and got so excited you had to share it with your friends. Reblogs mean "hey dude, I see this took you days to make, I love it and I want other people to enjoy it as well"
This is so discouraging, and it has stopped people from making art and participating in the thing that makes fandoms so special. It's sad :/
Anyways, reblog what you like! <3
#i'm sad today dkfjhdfg#and yes this is about that fucking drawing that took me A WEEK (because i was busy)#and only got 7 likes on instagram (one for each day i worked on it i guess lol)#but it's also about the gifs i make#which you'd think would be reblogged more since this is the gif website#idk what y'all want#cause then i see people complaining about the lack of fan creations for a ship they like#and i'm like bitch you don't even reblog the main ships... who's gonna make something for nothing?#and yeah sure ''art is for yourself'' and that's how you get people making art AND NOT POSTING IT#it's fucks YOU up#just saying...#anyways reblog what you like for gods sake!#angel talks
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Conflict test..? Moe fucks up Badly test.
#feh#i'm ngl there's not a lot that's presentable in here. this sketchbook does feel like a waste tbh#like i just did not do a whole lot w it. lacks substance. i'm itching to just start over tbh.#sad!#anyways something i was trying to test here and that's been in the back of my mind forever#is moe offering a hand. literally. like it just does not know what else to do.#extremely picky about being touched. leads to it being extremely maybe overly cautious of touching others.#in a way remaining distant is its way of showing comfort. but that usually does come off as well. distant.#unreachable even.#and here i think alfonse is so hurt that he won't even accept moe's gesture. ouch! you fucked up big time!!!!!#i def get really in my head about presentation and how good anything is though like#i feel like i could nitpick the HELL out of this. BUT. BUT. IT'S JYST A CONCEPT. JUST A TEST#maybe i'll work on something else today...... idk idk i feel aimless but i wanna raise morale. somehow.#fe alfonse#moe tag#summoner oc#my art
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When I think about it, I think one of my favorite things about the Curse of DarKastle lore is how it presents an almost comical inversion of the classic Beauty and the Beast story. Instead of being rude to and angering a witch who curses him to be trapped in a beastly form until true love can break his curse, Prince Ludwig gets startled by a witch and howls, to which she responds by bestowing werewolf powers upon him--I don't think the ride specifies, but it seems like he can turn at will? Or it may have been more emotionally linked. But in any case, it's not presented as a curse (in spite of the ride's name -- I think that comes later when everyone gets trapped as ghosts, at least in my interpretation) but rather as a gift in service of his "dark destiny". She prophetically tells him that he's going to become the "wicked ruler of a corrupt kingdom" and then turns into a wolf herself and actively guides him in overthrowing his parents and ruling the kingdom with an iron fist. It's like the same setup as the witch in Beauty and the Beast, only instead of trying to teach him a moral lesson, the witch in Curse of DarKastle looked at this awful little prince and went "I can make him worse" and then enabled and encouraged his many subsequent murders. It's such a wild story setup for a ride and I kind of love how bonkers it is.
#today on things I'm rotating in my brain#the Curse of DarKastle#Busch Gardens Williamsburg#text quoted from the ride's preshow via Wikipedia#I'm still so sad that it's gone now#and that there's nothing on AO3 about it... might have to change that later#but yeah that was probably like my favorite dark ride ever tbh#idk why I was just always really fascinated by it#I've always loved like#theme parks#and#theme park design and theming#I'm a little obsessed#rambling thoughts#i ramble#even in the tags i ramble#I'm not sure I'm really saying anything with a point here it's just so interesting to me#stream of consciousness rambling#I feel like I should say that whenever I throw a post together really quickly#I just got back from my walk and as ever I am full of thoughts#this is merely the most organized among them#Prince Ludwig#King Ludwig
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...😭
#i've never had a job in my own field that i've liked as much as i've liked my current one#the semester is ending soon and today i heard my contract will not be renewed bc the person i'm substituting will return to work after all#i've been feeling so tired and a bit poorly after the nokia arena show and i probably should have called in sick today#as i was absolutely useless today#and then after my only class today my students came to me with a gift?? 😭#a pink enamel moomin mug and some chocolate and a paper on which they had written nice things about me + a drawing of a dachshund 😭#and i burst to tears right there in front of them because i was so touched (and also because i'm just really really tired and emotional)#i'm so tired about having to apply for new jobs and having to start all over again#i'm so tired of having to do shitty short-notice substitutions again#i feel like i deserve better than that but on the other hand i fee like life's giving me exactly what i deserve and maybe this is it#i'm dreading the summer because idk if i'll have a job to go to in the autumn#and even if i did find something it won't be like the job i have now#also. it's may day eve and the weather's lovely#and i'm hiding in my apartment with the curtains closed so i won't see all the people going out and having fun with their friends#for me may day eve has never been like that. i've always felt so very excluded from those celebrations#on top of that i got yelled at by a bus driver and i'm the worst friend that ever existed#i'm trying to quit on whining about my sad little life but it gets so lonely#please know i'm not writing this for attention or pity. i know y'all have problems of your own and i'm just being a dramatic crybaby
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give it up. i can't wait no more
i am stuck on your bedroom floor
with the thought that i may not be
as great as those who came before
#there's a man assigned to me#and he checks on my stability#we discuss you every week#then i rinse and rinse repeat#and he charges by the tear#till i weep no more strictly out of fear#that i cant afford your love#and the moon just burns above#i feel yucky today#i have a migraine#and a belly ache#me#my face#girls with piercings#girls with purple hair#sad girl#sleepy girl#needy girl#maybe i'm ready to come back to tumblr but idk.
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Yearning extra this November for some reason
#abhi rants#ruined an exam because of my hyperfixation over a GUY#can't fucking believe it#I just want a lover is it too much to ask for#I'LL TREAT THEM THE BEST#but sometimes i feel like I'm hard af to love#tbh idk anymore#why is november so.. sad#I'm watching Kidnap and THEY'RE SO DISGUSTINGLY IN LOVE IT'S MAKING ME FEEL SO SINGLE😭😭😭😭😭#im actually yearning for friends too#college is lonely as hell#felt SO shit today#i was mad at someone for not giving a shit about me but then i ended up buying him coffee because i needed company#why is my life like this#I'm literally running to my tumblr besties for EVERYTHING 😭😭😭
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sorry for only saying this type of shit lately but i kinda wanna drive a car straight into a brick wall at the highest speed possible
#trying to keep it together so bad because i already know the problems and solutions and whatnot but i cannot do anything#i desperately just need to do something. accomplish any task. actually several would be nice. but i cannot stand just letting life go by#while i watch other people have the things i want. or even metaphorically living my dream like. that should be me why am i settling for thi#i hate even talking about this because i feel so stupid when i know it's not even a real tangible problem and that i actually DO have real#problems to tackle and the ability to do so but i'm choosing to be upset over the stupidest things i could possibly be sad about#and i can't even be sad about it in a normal way i'm cycling through like several different reactions to smth that isn't even real#or if it is real i literally do not have tanglible evidence for it one way or another like i'm driving myself insane for no reason#i can't even get catharsis because all i'm doing is digging a deeper hole for something i never should've gone back into in the first place#because i KNOW how i am i KNOW how i react to things and i still chose to do it lmao.#and i continue to choose to go through this shit instead of actively trying to change my life because... i'm lazy? and stupid? idk#negative self-talk isn't gonna get me to do anything either so let's just say i'm feeling particularly unmotivated like usual#i hated being a teenager but i really do miss when all my problems just amounted to 'someone was mean to me on tumblr today :(' or i failed#a test in chemistry or something. like i yearn for that simplicity becasue at this point all i'm doing is ruining my own life LMAO#i'm too scared to live i'm too scared to die so i just sit here and fantasize that life could be amazing if i wait#and i'll magically get everything i've ever wanted if i just wait long enough. and i know it isn't true and i still wait for it to happen.#because honestly like. i think deep down i am just convinced i will fail at anything i do when that shouldn't be what scares me.#what scares me should be never even allowing myself to fail because i never tried to do anything at all with myself or my life#like. wake the fuck up. get off your ass and put in the effort. learn some skills. gain independence and stability and discipline and do it#just live please i'm begging you just live so i can be happy don't i deserve to be happy... why am i not letting myself be happy#i'm literally keeping myself trapped in this negative feedback loop ON PURPOSE because teehee shiny toy#and it doesn't matter if the love is real it doesn't matter how i feel like i'm just using it as a distraction i can't say it's motivation#because it's barely motivated me at all. i have to start being realistic. 25 & just realizing you actually have to participate in your life#anyways. i've cried i've agonized i've pictured killing myself in 30 different ways. i think the only way i'm gonna feel better is#to just actually try this time without giving up. wish me luck
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crying about everything, and absolutely nothing, all at the same time
#rottmnt#rise donatello#rise donnie#rise fanart#idk y'all#i missed a deadline today and got way too emotional about it#so i dragged myself out of a horrible art block and doodled this instead#sorry i haven't been that active#i'm overwhelmed#maybe donnie's just crying about a sad movie and not missing a stupid deadline mhm mhm#*sob*#teidoodle
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Oh.
#according to facebook memories (why do i even have that still??) 12 years ago today i saw Linkin Park for the first time 🥺#in a few days it'll be 10 years since the last time i saw them#and. hm. there's a lot that surfaced this days since clancy dropped and i'm a bit more emotional / sensitive than usual#and this is. well. making me extremely sad.#12 years ago. i remember as if it was yesterday. i cling to that day so much and i'm scared of forgetting about it#i wonder how 14 yo me would've reacted if she knew.#they were my first gig ever! i remember the 2nd song was given up and the people around us started moshing pretty hard.#so much that my shoe came off and my dad had to shield me while i crawled and looked for it hahaha#it was so fun! i didn't really know that was a thing#that day was the first time they played Lies Greed Misery - it had been released just the day before#my videos are SO blurry but i still have them all saved 🥹#idk i've been in some typa mood these past days. not necessarily bad at all but.#me and a couple friends had a very important conversation 2 nights ago which was GOOD but. the bad thing about letting everything bottle up#is that once you spill it's hard to deal with. and yeah this is. idk. i'm just venting here like. ignore me.#it's just really hard for me. i miss him terribly and i'm really scared for myself because i *know* i'm back in the loop#and it feels so hopeless sometimes. maybe this is super silly but i'm so thankful that Clancy came out now because OH BOY i need it#maybe it's not the best strategy to put so much faith? importance? in like. music and other people but#man. i genuinely don't know if i'd be here if not for certain songs/artists etc#idk I'm rambling lol. i might delete this later#probably. maybe. i try not to talk too much about this here because i tend to deal alone but. sometimes it's nice to send things to the void#anyways. support your favs. talk to your friends - even if you much rather not. don't be like me and let things rot inside.#🤍#darya talks to herself
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