#i'm just rambling. i'll shut up now
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you ever just have a lot, a LOT of feelings all at once about a character and not even remotely enough words or brainpower to FORM the words to describe everything you're feeling. so it feels like you may explode. yeah
#sorry i got really into my feelings about mark hoffman again#the very specific version of him in my brain that i really really wish i had the time and energy to properly share with you guys#saw#well until i muster the energy to explode all of my feelings out into a fic. if you want to TRY and understand#know that my three biggest hoffman fic insps right now are as follows#your best kept secret hoffman. a series of mistakes hoffman. and rushed like a dreadful wind hoffman.#there is a very clear throughline just know i am extremely emotionally compromised rn#thinking about theee fics vs the canon path hoffman spirals down#something something the absolute tragedy of watching a man's descent into madness#the transformation of a man into a monster#and what could have saved him from himself and kramer's corruption#sorry i'm rambling so much oh my god i was just having such a crying fit out of nowhere about this#do you think he could feel it happening. do you think he was aware he was losing his mind.#the script version of him fucks with me so bad. the crazed rankings and the longer hair and him not being well kept anymore#it's impossible to think he didn't know he was deteriorating#fuuuck okay i need to either chill or write a whole longfic rn#i project on that guy so much i truly don't know if i could properly write my vision of him#until i do something more substantial the full extent of my hoffman exists for me and my boyfriend only. they get me like no one else#well ginny and jenna also get me. please read best kept secret and a series of mistakes Oh My God#where am i going with this. i like tag rambling actually this is a nice way to do it without forcing EVERYONE to read my delirium#anyways if you've read all of this i think i love you? feel free to dm me about hoffman and my very specific headcanons and aus#maybe soon i'll try and start writing my fics about this tragic man#i could never say any of this on twitter btw they'd string me up for my opinions on him as a sad wet beast who could have been fixed#if only he hadn't been weaponized first#god i'm too tired to even be as embarrassed about this as i should be. thought i unlearned cringe already#but i've been spending way too much time on twitter and they HAAATE hoffman there#rip. i know it's not that serious but i'm sensitive rn and hate feeling lonely in my thoughts#ok bye for real otherwise i'll never shut up. i might tag ramble more often bc this was therapeutic in a way i needed badly#cat chat
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I HAVEN'T FORGOTTEN ABOUT REN'S BIRTHDAY!!! I PROMISE!!!!! There's been a lot of rain recently n half of my house is flooded now lol
#Woke up to a broken window and an indoor pool the day before Valentines 💘 /hj#Everything is fine / I'm fine though!! /gen#I just need some time to sort out some irl stuff + move my belongings#I'll queue up some posts in the meantime!#Also also I'm turning off asks for a bit because my inbox is full + I don't think newer folks are reading da pinned post 😭 /lh /nm#to be tagged later#<- no laptop + mobile hours we die like Olivia in day 2 when you [REVOKED INFORMATION]#Shut up sai tag I miss you dearly 💔#I'll also throw this into da queue why not lol#I noticed Tumblr doesn't publish 3 posts at once anymore?? rip 😭#1 post every 15/20 minutes is so annoying now#Ok I'm done rambling shgjsdghds
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I already sent this in the MO discord server but I just thought why not post it here for funsies
#woah how did Limes get there? cough cough#It's been a while since I've drawn Limes and Mychael#(and Limes kind of reminds me of him)#so I thought why not try to draw them :]#this is also kind of an excuse for me to draw Limes and Mychael interacting (kind of)#also it turns out pitot and minoru were in the server and I didn't know-#somehow everything ties back to PL lol#my line art was a bit shaky because I was scared and excited at the same time#due to this being the first time I've drawn on something like whiteboard ^^;#I had fun and everyone was really nice :D#aasdfghjjfafdjfas you guys are so cool... :[[[#I'm rambling a lot right now because I just took a four hour nap I'll shut up now-#whiteboard fox#mushroom oasis vn#mushroom oasis#artists on tumblr#doodle#digital art#oc#art#art dump
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Okay, I swear I'll shut up after this. I love the music. Do not get me wrong, I adore the music for all the Favreau/Filoni shows, Ludwig Göransson's score and everything that's evolved from it is killer.
But they're using the Rebels music, and that music somehow has a way of going straight to my core. I started tearing up just hearing the first strains of Ahsoka's theme even though I was prepared for it. But when Hera's started? When Sabine's beautiful theme (that's never gotten an official release beyond the Trials of the Darksaber episode guide on StarWars.com) started? And those brief teases of Thrawn and Ezra? I'm choking up just thinking about it. My autistic brain latches on to music so tightly and these melodies bring back such good feelings and I'm so happy they got the Kiners back. I don't know why I was so afraid they wouldn't, but I'm just so relieved they did.
If they never put out official soundtracks for Seasons 3 and 4 of Rebels, we at least have the inevitable Ahsoka soundtrack coming. I'll take it. 🤣🤣😭😭
#Star Wars Ahsoka#Ahsoka series#Ahsoka#Star Wars Rebels#SW Rebels#K8 Rambles about Star Wars#I'm sorry I'm a music nerd#I'm the only one in my immediate family who *wasn't* in either school marching band or orchestra#And I briefly took piano lessons before I hit a real sucky autism/depression patch that made me quit#I just really love SW scores 🤣#I promise now I'll shut up and go to bed!
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I am unreasonably upset about the fact that I've been forced to accept that Gabriel was a Gerald.
For context, in An Inspector Calls, Gerald Croft is engaged to Sheila Birling when he meets a homeless, struggling Eva Smith in a bar, and essentially in return for a home and money he shows her affection (ahem), then gets rid of her once he no longer has a use for her. Now, obviously this isn't a direct translation, but the essentials are - a Gerald is a character who uses another character, in return for something they need, usually masking the fact that they're using them with affection and love.
And against my will I've had to accept that this is exactly what Gabriel does to Nathalie.
Did I want to think he had potential to be better? Did I think he genuinely cared for Nathalie?? Hell, did I just really really want somebody to care about Nathalie???
Probably all of the above but the point is: he's Gerald. And I cannot - I literally can't unsee it now. Their whole dynamic in S3 is like “oh boohoo I'm sorry I wish you didn't have to use the peacock Miraculous and kill yourself over it but uh I need to use your powers” “yeah no that's fine I'm all good”. Which, given the "Gerald" theorem, I'm assuming leads to the fact that what Nathalie needed, above all, was someone to care about her - and Gabriel came along, as Sheila Birling puts it, "like a fairytale prince", and was so caring and gentle and... Yeah. She fell for him. And. Yeah he genuinely did seem to care like twice. But so did Gerald. Gerald actually admits that he did care for Eva, just not the way that she cared for him, and, uh, not enough to not just dispose of her. So he discards her anyway when she stops being useful.
Leading me neatly to my point.
He starts using the peacock Miraculous the second it's fixed, the slimy bastard, HOWEVER. It runs way deeper than that. Assuming I'm right (which I almost DEFINITELY am), then Gabriel only needed Nathalie while she was useful. She didn't stop being useful in season three - she's still scheming for him, helping him with plan after plan. It's only partway through season 5 that she officially servers ties with him, and starts to actively hinder him.
Nathalie stops being useful when she fails as Safari. And I reckon that's when Gabriel and Tomoe decided she had to go.
(It's painfully, I-was-ugly-crying-over-it obvious in Conformation that Gabriel is fully prepared to let Nathalie die - in the original storyboard, her alliance was encouraging her to sleep, and he's very obviously prepared for this moment - I've made a separate post about it that I'll link if I can find it. However, onto the next bit)
With all of this, there's one thing that sticks out to me - Nathalie didn't see any of it until it was already too late. There could be many reasons for this. But you know who would have seen through it? Whose parents were all loving and perfect until she married the wrong man? Emilie. Emilie, who left behind those videos, which on the surface look innocent, but when you look deeper look like a (love confession???????) AHEM a warning. I reckon Emilie noticed what was going on and realised that Nathalie wouldn't see through Gabriel, so she left those videos addressed to Nathalie (not Gabriel, which surely they should have been - they were about him, after all - unless they were there...) as a warning. I don't think the videos were supposed to be about helping Gabriel, I think Emilie was warning Nathalie to get the fuck out of that house, and to take Adrien with her. Because Emilie knew it'd end like this.
Yes I'm still mad ok give me a break.
#Not a direct translation obviously#(although I hate the fact that my brain has AUTOMATICALLY made the links between the peacock Miraculous and Emilie and... yeah#as in#it fits better than it should as an allegory)#Anyway yeah my mad evening ramblings™#This began as an angry rant and became a theory#But yeah it's so so obvious I've said it before but it's SO glaringly obvious that Nathalie is desperate for any kind of affection#“girl what were YOU doing at the devil's sacrement -” I am also desperate for affection!!!! Shut up I'm talking!!!!!#It's really really obvious like I'd guess#(given that she seems to live with the Agrestes and has a... past certainly)#there's no family in the picture#And yeah so I'm tired now if you have questions ask them I'll elaborate#Just remember that I'm so fucking obsessed with An Inspector Calls that it's genuinely a plot point in one of my books#So the comparison makes sense ok???? Let me go to bed#(read found-family fanfic and cry)#miraculous ladybug#miraculoustalesofladybugandcatnoir#nathalie sancoeur#gabriel agreste#emilie agreste#adrien agreste#miraculous#an inspector calls#gerald croft#Yes I'm tagging this with AIC and Gerald ok I want a bunch of GCSE students to look up the tag and be confused out of their fucking minds#Voilà i guess#Oh yeah there's problems with this bc Emilie tells Nathalie to stop Gabe#but there's nothing saying she didn't then add “oh and if you can't then get the hell outta there babes”#“with OUR little prince” (????? That line is still so confusing what does it MEAN)#Oh ig I should tag this with eminath bc of the last bit
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Fuck It Friday ☔️
I was tagged by @daffi-990 @jamespearce9-1-1 @eddiebabygirldiaz @wikiangela and @jeeyuns thank youuu 💛
Aside from some editing, my Christmas fics are all done and now I can slowly return to my main wips, so I thought I'll post a snippet from Eddie's pov in the mudslide fic (most of that part is just too spoilery and I rarely share from it, but this bit was waiting to come out for a while now, so here 🫶).
He mostly thought about Christopher; imagined him waking up in the morning, pestering Buck for breakfast and news he couldn't give, going to school and coming home, sitting at the dining table, doing his homework… Just normal things.
He would’ve given anything to be with them right now. To walk out of his room in the morning and see Buck’s sleep-rumpled face, his curls flat on top of his head, his smile lazy and crooked and his bare feet on Eddie’s living room carpet.
To watch the tattoos shift on Buck’s naked shoulders as he stretched and to hear his hoarse voice as he mumbled out a quiet “morning” on his way to the bathroom. To smell the scent of his overnight sweat still lingering on his skin while making their coffees side by side, waiting for Christopher to finally shuffle out of his room for breakfast.
To hear the sleepy mumble stifled in his own ribs as Chris gave him his good morning hug and see the toothy grin tugging at his lips as Buck entertained him throughout breakfast, making him giggle with his silly facts and jokes.
To yell “come on, we're gonna be late” at the front door as Chris ran back inside for a book he forgot and then to yell again after Chris was back but Buck just realised he had left his phone on the kitchen counter.
To sit in the car and talk about after-school plans and listen to the radio on a low volume before dropping Chris off with a hug each and then to bundle back into the truck and head to work together, barely just having enough time to stop for one of those creamy coffee monstrosities Buck liked so much — that somehow Eddie learned to like too, only if to indulge in the fantasy of what Buck’s lips would taste like on his own.
✨no pressure tagging: @malewifediaz @spagheddiediaz @hippolotamus @disasterbuckdiaz @nmcggg @thewolvesof1998 @watchyourbuck @theotherbuckley @fortheloveofbuddie @ladydorian05 @rainbow-nerdss
#this is gonna be so domestic you just wait#gonna get back to this asap but I slept 3.5 hours last night and didn't really have any writing mojo today#but there is still saturday and sunday!#and then from next thursday I'm gonna be home for 12 days#which SHOULD be enough to finish the mudslide fic and the breeding fic#and then hopefully I could get closer with the jealous eddie fic too#gah I know I'm rambling but I'm so excited to have all this free time to write about my boys#🥹#I'll shut up now#buddie#911#wip#the mudslide fic
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Since I'm not sure if I'll ever get the chance to properly touch on this in a fic because it's more character analysis than something I can properly include in dialogue/exposition without it being very awkwardly out of place and telling not showing, I figured I'd just dump it here. It's something I think about a lot whenever I write for post-Seed Destiny Athrun in a fic, because in so many ways, this is actually something of a non-magical "Ideal (Fake) Reality" situation that Durandal very nearly succeeded in pulling off, but ultimately failed at because Durandal overplayed his hand and underestimated Athrun's loyalty to his friends Kira, who was pulling triple duty opposing Athrun because Kira himself didn't agree with what Athrun was doing, protecting Cagalli, and supporting Cagalli at a time when she was powerless.
It's a trope I very much love in magical/sci-fi settings because it says a lot about the character and the lengths they'll go to get what they want (the willingness and determination to take the longer, harder path to make the dream reality vs the instant gratification option even if it's fake), and also just gives me so much to work with when I write when it comes to character motivation/dialogue/actions.
I feel like a lot of this gets missed in all the memes that he's (somewhat deservedly) suddenly a part of after Seed Freedom, because while Seed Freedom Athrun is very self-assured and confident in his course of action, he definitely took a long hard road (with more downs than ups, in my opinion) between Seed and Seed Destiny to get there.
(Rest behind the cut because there's a reason Athrun Zala is my favorite Seed character, and not just because he's got a lovely voice - thank you Ishida-san for that - and is easy on the eyes.)
When Athrun re-enlists in ZAFT and "continues" his life again as himself, he's given a choice thanks to Durandal's string-pulling: Resume the life that was planned for him by his parents and PLANT (his "destined" life, if you will), or find his way back to the life that he's chosen for himself (with Cagalli and Orb).
If he chose his "old" life, he would've had it all - the glory of being a decorated war veteran, a post as a FAITH member (resuming the role he'd previously gotten thanks to his father), a "Lacus Clyne" for his fiance, and the honor of being the pilot of the Legend (while being something of a "legend" himself). Durandal saw to it Athrun would've seamlessly resumed that life to all external appearances, even if it would've been an absolute sham behind closed doors. Athrun might be a decorated war veteran, but that came with a lot of trauma and grief - trauma from having to fight and kill at such a young age, grief at being the one to survive when those he'd called friends die around him, plus all the unresolved emotional turmoil and grief of having never been able to properly resolve things with his father and his genocidal ideals (because Patrick Zala, too, was a man who never got over his grief at losing Lenore during the Bloody Valentine Incident, and only became the way he did because of that). He might've had a highly coveted position within FAITH, but that power would ultimately be in service to Durandal (a head of state Athrun alternates between wanting to agree with and being directly at odds against). Durandal needed more capable "Yes men" ace pilots like Shinn Asuka to spread and enforce his plans, not people capable of thinking for themselves like Athrun (at least, Athrun got there after Operation Angel Down). The "Lacus Clyne", is, of course, Meer under the best cosmetic surgery money could buy, but she is nothing like Lacus Athrun knows and cares for as a friend and whose cause he had once lent his power to (and would again at the end of the Second War).
And the Legend? It might fit Athrun in name only (in the sense that he's the "legendary pilot who helped end the first Earth-PLANT War) but the entire suit (even if it had an updated OS for the DRAGOON system) doesn't even play to Athrun's core strengths as a pilot. It's almost comedic how Durandal didn't even bother tailoring the Legend to Athrun - the Saviour is more Athrun's style both as a spiritual successor to the Aegis and weapons load out, yet it's coincidental that it would end up in Athrun's hands. There's no way Durandal could've known and planned for the Saviour to go to Athrun, but Durandal arguably had that time with the Legend. In the episode where both the Destiny and Legend are revealed, Durandal made a point of telling Shinn the Destiny was fine tuned to him, but neglects to tell Athrun much about the Legend beyond the DRAGOON system and the updated OS for it (the closest Athrun arguably ever came to a DRAGOON system was flying right past Kira and Rau's duel in front of Genesis at the end of Seed).
On the flip side of that, there's the life Athrun had chosen for himself after the first Earth-PLANT War. It's not an ideal life, not by any means - the fact he's essentially a powerless civilian with no means to reach for his ultimate goal chafes him to no end, especially when there's the ever-looming threat of Cagalli getting taken away from him due to circumstances neither of them want nor are able to deal with. Cagalli can't get out of the arranged marriage, Athrun as "Alex Dino" has no claim to power and as "Athrun Zala" would only invite larger scale international problems - even if Athrun himself has no political ties to PLANT, his family name says plenty. Athrun is patient, yes, but even his patience has a limit, and seemingly losing Cagalli to someone he doesn't respect and she doesn't love (in a reversal of Athrun's situation with Lacus and Kira) pushes him to action out of desperation. And while it puts him at odds with Kira and Cagalli (including lashing out at both of them when Cagalli finally breaks down and gives in and gets coerced into going through with the arranged marriage), it does also get him to realize that he's not the same person he was before the war - he's no longer capable of living that same life he had before, where he would fight where his country tells him because that's the fastest way to end the war. The easy (destined, if you will) option is no longer an acceptable choice for him, because it's not the one that ultimately leaves him fulfilled and truly happy with the one he loves in the end.
And it's this that ultimately brings him back to Cagalli and the (Infinite) Justice, metaphorically reclaiming his sense of justice (ha ha). He's always going to be looking for a cause to serve, and a just cause by his own terms, because he's dedicated far too much of his life serving in the military to just stop doing that and he's spent too much time around Lacus to just mindlessly follow whatever the higher ups say, anymore. So this leaves the only way forward: serve under a head of state whose ideals he can agree with, with the freedom of choice to act according to his own sense of justice, and to that end, there's only one choice for him - return to Orb and Cagalli.
#gundam seed destiny#athrun zala#asucaga#ish mostly because it's impossible for me to write an essay on athrun without mentioning his relationship with cagalli#i have so many thoughts about athrun#while i do find it amusing fandom perception of athrun went from indecisive chick magnet to cagalli's number 1 simp#there's more to him than that that's lost in the quagmire that is seed destiny#and it's all things i try to bring out or hint at when I write him#also the whole Durandal gives Athrun the Legend thing will never be not hilarious#dude has everything planned down to a T with the Destiny Plan and the best he can do is assign Athrun the Legend?#like talk about obvious I know you've betrayed me energy#i tried to keep this essay as focused as possible#even if i have a million thoughts running in my head like hamsters in a wheel because i've loved seed since i saw it back in 2003#okay i'm bordering on an essay in the tags too so i'll just shut up and post this now and ramble more later lol
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Look, look I saw this a while ago and ever since then I just couldn't stop thinking about Tom's response just being the Frien :D rat image meme, which lead to me joking to myself about drawing this, which, well, lead to me actually drawing it lol. Under the cut is the colored version w/o the meme, the lineart and lineart comparison to the original meme below.
Oh, and @skeletoninthemelonland , guess you might want to see this too
Original Meme Picture:
#my art#fireheart art#fireheart draws#springtrap#btc#behind the codes#fnaf btc#fnaf behind the codes#btc tom#well Tom's left hand at least#btc springtrap#or should I say springRAT#I'm sorry I'll shut up now#behind the codes springtrap#behind the codes tom#phantom freddy#also I'm so sorry for tagging you again so soon I just finished this#fireheart rambles in the tags#fireheart speaks#I couldn't help myself
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might be a little quiet for a bit, i'm alright! but i need to work on improving my mental health in the long run so that's what i'm doing :]
#as i say this i'll probably be posting like. tomorrow. just watch /silly#i need to unleash my queue at some point#when i do it won't mean i'm back i just have a lot i wanna rb lmao#tbf i haven't really been “back” - i don't post like i used to but that's okay#posting here isn't a commitment it's for fun and i'm trying to get my fun back yknow#so ya :]#seriously tho i'm okay i just haven't been paying enough attention to myself#i need to make commitments and i haven't so that's what i'm doing#after that i'll be back! and hopefully better than ever#for the mutuals that see this ily guys :] /gen & pos#ur always there for me and understand <33#anyways i'll shut up now#and focus on the task at hand#YIPPEE FOR TAKING CARE OF MYSELF#spinny rambles#spinny stuff
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Written by HONOROIT? -THE- HONOROIT?
#I'm just imagining Honoroit taking notes all day long whenever he's not chasing down Emmanellain#Emmanellain commends his assistant for documenting their adventures in such details#When the book is finally published Emmanellain is gutted to discover he's not the main character#but he beams whenever he does get mentioned even though it paints him in a rather colorful light#Meanwhile Count Edmont is so proud that his own writing inspired Honoroit to document his own journey#alright i'll shut up now#ffxiv#ffxiv endwalker#endwalker#npc dialogue#honoroit#emmanellain#ramblings
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So... about season 3 Aki.
Ok harsh contrast to my previous, excited post, but I did say I had more to yell about episode 75 and I need to get this off my chest anyway. Plus, I remember mentioning in a post that I need to talk about season 3 onward Aki anyhow, so might as well do that now! I am thinking Big Thoughts and I need to Scream.
Long, incoherent, unhinged rant incoming because I have 100 things to say and 100000 screenshots to post, but I am also tired and my brain is mush.
Can we please talk about all the jarringly unfulfilled setup the start of season 3 did for Aki? Because I'm starting to feel an urge to claw at the walls. I'm gonna go through this, piece by piece of damning evidence, because I need to vent my utter confusion and frustration somehow, I guess. Okay. So.
After giving us a bit of time to settle in after the timeskip into the pre-WRGP stretch of things, the itty-bitty portion of the story Aki occupies at this point starts off arguably strong. Yusei gets kidnapped, everyone's in a frenzy about it, but Aki's especially worried.
Then this. Funky new signer powers! Nobody's been able to do this before! I wonder if they're going to do something with that! (Spoiler: They're not.)
Then Aki "no sense of self-preservation" Izayoi gets herself in a bunch of danger trying to rescue Yusei and we get this:
Oh! Wow! Aki can control her powers now! (Which: how. Why did they never show us this. That alone could have made for a whole mini-arc. Why waste that????) That would give the writers so many cool opportunities to let her use them! I wonder if they're going to do something with that! (Spoiler: They're not.)
(Side note: I love this scene. I love it to death. They're both ride-or-die "who cares for my safety when yours is on the line" for each other and I love them.)
Of course, shenanigans then ensue, leading up to Sherry's marvellous introduction.
(Mwah. I blow her a little kiss.)
And it is at this point that Aki Has An Epiphany.
And to top it off, she gets some interesting interactions with Sherry, too!
So Aki resolves that she wants to become a turbo-duellist, too. And the thing is, this isn't a little one-off thing or something they never deliver on. They end up building this up for several episodes, bit by bit. First we get another mention of it at the pre-WRGP press thingy they all attend:
Then it's brought up again when Yusei accepts the first duel against Bruno/Antinomy:
(Also, side note again, but can I just mention that Aki also gets this moment the episode before:)
(Where she literally puts herself directly in harm's way in a public setting to protect people with her powers??? Like, I'm sorry, pinch me or something, but how does that not scream "badass good girl setup"???? HOW?)
So we get at least three episodes worth of buildup where Aki agonizes over becoming a turbo duellist to understand what her friends (but especially Yusei) are feeling when they duel like that, and then they finally deliver on it and episode 75 has her getting her license. And it's fantastic. Seriously. That episode is golden. Not just because it delivers on this promise, not just because it has a really cute moment between Aki and Yusei in it (regardless of how you read their relationship dynamic), and not just because it (as per my last post) showcases how much the rest of Team 5Ds cares about Aki (by literally building a runner for her and accompanying her to her exam and don't even get me started on Jack beating up those jerks trying to make her crash unprompted) but because it gives us just that smidgen more detail about Aki's character, too. Because the thing is, at first, she majorly sucks at driving.
And not only is this realistic to a degree (learning to drive is hard, regardless of what you're learning to drive), it's also great, because you know what Aki's response to it is?
She keeps going. She doesn't let it get her down, she gets back up and tries again. (And from a writing standpoint, this is lovely because that stubbornness is great in situations like this, but you could easily turn it into a weakness in a different scenario if you wanted to.)
And not only does Aki learn driving the hard way here, she also finds herself confronted with jerks who don't want her to succeed,
(Ruka, sweetie, I love you.)
and she makes an absolute rookie mistake during her exam by trying to play a speed spell when she doesn't have the necessary speed counters.
And feel free to disagree, but I think this is also great. Because honestly? While driving a really damned fast motorcycle that I'm not super used to yet, and being expected to make solid tactical judgements in an overcomplicated card game—the rules of which are slightly different when you're playing it on a motorcycle—at the same time, I would likely also mess up like that and accidentally try to make an illegal play. But the thing is, the episode rewards her for sticking it out anyway by letting her pull off a really complicated driving manoeuvre to save herself from her envious turbo-duelling-license colleagues' cheap tricks, and by letting her score a really nice win from a tight spot, much like any of the boys would have in her position.
(Take that, you jerks. Dumbasses only get blurry screenshots.)
So Aki gets her license and is welcomed by the team as a fresh turbo duellist. Hooray!
(I love them all so, so much, help me.)
And we also get this:
Wouldn't you know it! Sherry's been watching Aki get her license with interest! And she seems to be mighty pleased with the result!
So. After all that, I don't think you could blame anyone (it's me, I'm anyone) for getting really excited about what Aki's gonna get up to from this point outward. Aki can control her powers now! And she got her turbo duelling license! And we've got a new, enigmatic side character who seems like she could have super interesting interactions with and play off Aki! I wonder what they're gonna do with all that.
*deep breath*
Sigh.
Seeing as I already know this show like the palm of my hand, I kind of dreaded getting past this episode because I know exactly what happens to Aki from this point out: Nothing. A whole lot of nothing. Okay, well, no. See, I went back and checked all the episodes I have left, just to make sure, just in case I forgot something (very likely when you've already watched the show three times, I know).
From here on out, during the entire pre-WRGP, WRGP, and Ark Cradle arc, Aki gets exactly three things to do:
She uses her shiny new turbo duelling license to fill in for Crow at the Team Unicorn match because he got injured. Which, on paper, is a perfect way to let her have the spotlight for a moment. Except, the only thing she gets that spotlight for is to last a hot four turns in the duel before losing spectacularly to Andre and literally never turbo duelling again for the rest of the show. (Like, yes. The moment where she summons Stardust Dragon is chefs kiss and legendary. But in light of the surrounding circumstances, it feels like a consolation prize to make up for the ensuing character trainwreck.)
Since Crow is technically still injured when they're meant to go up against Team Catastrophe, Aki trains to fill in for him there again. Except! They intentionally make her crash right before the duel, putting her in a short-term coma! And as the icing on the cake, when she wakes up, it also turns out she lost the powers she was only just able to control for absolutely. no. reason. None. They never bother explaining it, they don't even try to hint at why they might have vanished. (I have my own theories for why they had to let her powers vanish and they all start and end with the words "we couldn't be bothered to figure out how to write this character".)
At the very end of the show, the very end, after temporarily fridging Sherry, too, they dig both girls back up in order to let them participate in a three-way final boss duel with Crow. (Which is a fantastic duel, I love it to pieces. Genuinely.) You could argue that they tried to cash in on all the intrigue they set up between Aki and Sherry here, but—come on. At the end of the show? Seriously? Oh, and did I mention that for some reason, Aki's powers mysteriously reappear after this duel? For no reason? Again?
I just. It does not compute. They went as far as doing all this setup, letting Aki get the hang of her powers, letting her get her license, making her part of Team 5Ds, even giving us a new character that seemed like the perfect fit to let her bounce off of—and then, like some sort of kafkaesque reverse-miracle, they somehow managed to take a sharp left into "whoops, don't care about this character" and nearly wasted the entirety of that setup in one fell swoop. If it weren't for that finale saving at least a smidgen of it, I'd be holding a torch and a pitchfork over here. (Hell, I might, even knowing that Aki's final duel in the show is kickass.)
Please tell me if this is just me (15 years after the show released, I know, leave me alone), but this feels like they were literally loading Chekov's gun directly within view of the audience, only to later procede to toss the damned thing into the sea instead of firing it.
Okay. Okay, I think I'm done. For anyone who actually bothered with the whole post, first of all, thank you for your attention, secondly, sorry, but this does, indeed, still bother me ten years after I first found this show, so I had to get it out or it would have eaten at me forever. God damn it.
Anyway, if you'll excuse me, I'm going back to writing fics where Aki actually gets something to do right this second. If anyone's interested in giving a fic series where Aki gets a separate character arc that tries to stay mostly canon-compliant after the defeat of the dark signers a go, you can find my stuff here.
#yugioh 5ds#aki izayoi#akiza izinski#ygo 5ds#character analysis#orchid watches 5ds (again)#orchid rambles#setup and no payoff is one of the worst things you can do to me in media#I get so unreasonably maaaaaaad#they literally gave themselves so many opportunities to do something with Aki#and then they wasted them all#also shameless plug I know#look I'm just trying to attract more people who will yell about Aki with me#that's what I do here#ok I'll shut up now
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Why is the Roche/Ciri ship always only crap for you all?
Hey, i once read a draco x apple fanfic. I have no room to judge anyone's ship and I don't think I ever did that (outside of private conversations). What i am judging is someone ruining the fandom experience for other people. If you really are as upset and hurt by people hating on your ship as you say, I'm sure you understand why people don't like you hating on their ship. (btw it's hilarious that you sent me hate for rorveth and cirys. Literally the only character included here that i even know is Ciri. If you sent me geraskier hate there would at least be context since i actually ship it, but i have absolutely no opinion on those ships you mentioned. I don't even know them) You've been told by others why they are annoyed by your asks and obviously it has no effect on you, so i won't bother repeating what they've already said, but i do occasionally love hearing myself talk so i wil still write a far longer response than i should So this isn't a hate response, it's a love letter to fandom. So here's what made being in a fandom so special to me:
The support.
Fandom to me is, at its core, strangers sharing their excitement, inspiring each other and admiring what other people do. When i started writing i was so self conscious, i couldn't sleep after posting a chapter because I was so anxious. And i received so much support even for works that are really not that great. There's something so wonderful about cheering others on and getting cheered on. That sort of open and heartfelt support is not something you experience in real life and it made some hard times much better for me. It's incredible knowing that people across the globe collaborate, send each other prompts or getting really excited about something someone else did.
2. The possibility to just…not engage in conversations i don't want to be in.
It's so freeing to have the option to block people of just not respond. There's always some sort of controversy or just some takes i don't like. How wonderful that i can just not look at those things
3. Getting to be creative and knowing it makes people happier
Your fic or art isn't brilliant? Who cares. It's so freeing to create something out of love, for people who love the same thing. I started writing for the first time since i was a child because of fandom. I dabbled in creating fanart (and realised the medium isn't for me, which is also great to find out), i wrote poetry (which I never wanted to do) and badly recorded songs (which i felt so self conscious about). Was it all good? Ha, absolutely not. But i got zo try it out and i wouldn't have done that without fandom. There is no external pressure to be good (or if there is pressure from other people to create and be good, there are always a ton of others telling you why this pressure is unfair and should be ignored). There are no grades, no deadlines. Just the love and joy of creating and sharing your creation. Or not sharing them, if that's what you want. Both is fine and that's the point
4. Seeing people of all skill levels share their works
And all of their art is beautiful and meaningful, no matter if they qre a master of their craft or someone who pickef up a pen for the first time to try out this medium
5. Seeing different interpretations
I don't like many of them but it's so interesting to see how others are interpreting something. That can be anything from the question of who's a top to some in depth meta analysis. People enjoy different things and it's so cool to see what they focus on
6. The people in general. I pretty much left the witcher fandom months ago (i tried writing for it again but it was so hard that I gave up) but through it, i met incredible people, some of who have become irreplaceable parts of my life and i am so thankful for fandom for bringing us together like this. When i was in the fandom, i got to know people are so talented, unbelievably creative, kind, funny, supportive and so many other wonderful things (even those i never talked to directly. If you left a comment on something i wrote or made my days brighter with your own creations, you are amazing and i appreciate you a lot)
Basically, fandom for me was an experience that brought me joy and a sense of community. It's on you to seek out the fandom experience you want to have. If you want that experience to be one of bitterness and hate, I'm really sorry for you. But more than anything I'm sorry for the people who you drag into this by harrassing them even after they blocked you. If you want to stew in bitterness over shipping a rarepair, that's your decision. But if other people want to enjoy the fandom in a more joyful way, then that should be their decision too and you don't get to take it away from them and ruin their love. Because ultimately that's what fandom is to me and i treasure the memory of that love more than I value the opinion of someone who apparently takes joy in trying (and hopefully failing) to take that love away
#I have a lot more to say but I'll shut up now#Or else I'd still be rambling in an hour#Also just so you know#Some people aren't just annoyed by you#Getting your spam is pretty funny and feel almost like a strange kind of chievement#Look ma! The random internet person noticed me! I made it as a fandom creator :D#Seriously though you're wasting your and everyone else's time#I'm not sure if anyone is taking you seriously at this point#Go eat some grass or something
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You've heard of [person/character/show/story/media/art] living rent free in your head right?
Now get ready for: that, but each is a little bird in the nest of you mind, some birds are there for a long time and some just a little while, as they come and go and theres some you feed more than others And it's not until you realize that suddenly "theres less birds here" "where'd the other babies go?" That the bird you started to feed a couple days ago is Cuckoo bird
#(Metaphor for when you have a new special interest that suddenly takes over your brain-#that you cant even focus on other things that used to live rent free in you brain because it's all [CUCKOO] now)#Sometimes theres multiple birds that get along okay (I can focus on each without distracting from the others)#with maybe a favorite of the bunch#but I switch between them fine#And often there will be a new bird that visits for a bit before flying away#And other times a new bird just comes in all of a sudden and takes over#But most of the time. I think it's just a new bird to visit for a little while#and then suddenly it's the only one in the nest#Where my other babies go? Whyd you push them out?? Yet I dont stop feeding the cuckoo. I cant. I have to feed the baby#Anyway. Tmnt is a cuckoo but there is now another cuckoo in the nest and they're fighting#We'll see if the new one manages to push tmnt out or if tmnt will regain the upper hand#The 'new' cuckoo has actually been here before. But it had been well over 4 years since it was the leader of the nest#And almost a year and half since it visited . (So it's been building strength since and came back with a vengeance lol)#I'm taking the metaphor too far#I'll shut up now#Midnight rambling#It is 2:30 am#living rent free in my head
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are you leaving? sorry for asking :/
Not sure yet :') being in this fandom takes such a huge toll on me when shit hits the fan that i cant really justify to myself staying and being invested in the same capacity as I have been. However I love my mutuals and this community too damn much to just up and leave completely 😭 for now im gonna take a break from tumblr and just give it some time. I could never leave tumblr fully though I fear I'm a yapper at heart so maybe I'll just end up posting about whatever. I really don't know ! I'll figure it out !!
#Don't really want to talk abt the whole situation on here I'm not the person for that#But yeah you all will hear from me again god knows I am incapable of shutting the hell up#And I want 2 say i truly consider dtblr to be my favorite fandom I've ever been in despite all the (very low💀) lows#You all are so incredibly funny and creative and kind and I really am so thankful I got to be a part of it all#When I think abt the friends I've made I could rlly just cry I love u all so much !!#Okay now it sounds like I'm writing a fucking eulogy DORRY ITS NOT THAT DEEP IM JUST NOT LOGGING ON THIS WEBSITE FOR A BIT GODDAMN#Like for all I know tomorrow I'll be like damn it wasn't really that serious and reblog dnf sucking cock or whatever#I'm joking^. It would probably be a frog picture#OKAY whatever I'm rambling I'm just gonna go and log out of my account on here CIAO#asks
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pros of ascending astarion:
that extra damage is so good
cons of ascending astarion:
he's even more annoying
#bro shut the fuck up i'll replace you with lae'zel in a heartbeat once i get her back from orin#also yeah yeah it's bad for him. no shit. i'm not playing a good person#i'm not his therapist i'm the player of an rpg#just need to say this. it's a lighthearted post but oh my god i see the things people get when they talk about ascending astarion#i *did* the Tav That Loves Everyone run. it was fun#now we're messing up everyone's lives with my durge#persimmon's rambles
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Very Very Far Shot But...
I stumbled upon the concept of this today, and it, uh, struck me and my Dragalia-attuned (among other games) brain.
The word?
Eudaimonia (well, or 'eudaemonia' or even 'eudemonia'). As you might be able to surmise, it is Grecian.
Since it's a bit of a more complicated word in concept, here's snippets of both the good old Wikipedia and Encyclopaedia Britannica regarding it:
Closely following this is the more modern concept of eudaemonism, which is the school of thought that evaluates the worthiness of actions based on their capacity to produce happiness.
But wait, there's more!
There also was a concept of eudaimonias as actual spirits, a sort of guardian angel figure.
And, well. This all sounds vaguely familiar to Euden. He himself in Dragalia lore is something of a symbol of dragalia itself made manifest, creating the ultimate har-har in the game's title after the last chapter. Replace "Euden's dead" everytime you see "Dragalia Lost" and it's darkly amusing. What do you mean, in the game "Euden's dead, in the chapter "Euden's dead" Euden dies? Impossible!- But just as he reforms bridges between people and dragons, so too is Euden very concerned and involved with the flourishing of humanity in all stripes. As leader to New Alberia, he also serves something as a guiding figure for the people who chose to follow him, on both a literal 'big-picture, what do we even do' scale as well as a more personal one, as he pays attention to most every individual he meets.
There's also this snippet regarding the actual 'figure' of the eudaimon:
With dragons in Dragalia being essentially nature personified, 'mother nature bites back' champions of higher, more intangible powers and occasionally all but killable gods themselves with their might, it forms a neat sort of comparison with Euden, the intermediary between them and the 'lesser races' of humanity. Euden himself is already something of an intermediary between the divine and mortal, with the whole Xenos-Morsayati-Nedrick trifecta involved in his creation even if he is himself largely the same as most other human.
Of course, with the whole notion of Greek deified heroes entering the mix and their many ends in mythos, it adds another potential tie in, since, yeah. He dead (after performing supernatural feats).
Dragalia also possibly drew on Greek/Roman inspiration for others in his family so it might not be completely impossible. There's Leonidas, who was most notably a king of Sparta and has a few other little tidbits to him that make me wonder if they drew on him for inspiration, and Marcus Aurelius, who was noted as part of the "Last of the Five Good Emperors" in Ancient Rome, a noted militaristic society like Alberia's. That almost reminds me of Aurelius' status in the main campaign, where he ruled as King for very long and further helped Alberia prosper before it all started going downhill.
So...yeah. Euden as a possible literal manifestation of a eudaemon, eudaemonia and/or eudaemonist himself, anyone?
#dragalia lost#dragalia#dragalia analysis#like I said: farfetched but look it just lines up a bit too well#...accidentally or not!#Honestly though#...If I were to ignore canon and pretend everyone remembers everything before Euden pressed the unwind button on the universe remote#I would probably claim that this is the origin of the word in the future in the way that names sometimes get integrated into language!#He's just kinda got that ripe combination of weird 'was that dude even real' kind of vibe that could lend itself to a sort of deification#especially now that a lot of people would be shaken up in the Ilian faith regarding the Satan Incident and everything in Grams.#I'm rambling now but darn the Ilian Faith is not messing around in Dragalia. They scary. More on that later (maybe) but I'll shut up for no
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