#i'm just rambling and explaining my perspective on the matter idk

[autumnoakes]

"why don't you correct people more when they use the wrong pronouns for you?" because that would mean outing myself. full stop.

i do not feel comfortable enough with my identity and in my community to be entirely, 100%, out to people i barely even know. it takes a lot of vulnerability for me to stop and correct someone i've only spoken to in a classroom or professional setting and go "actually, i'm not a woman and my pronouns are they/them." much less constantly remind people about it. yes, i do put my pronouns wherever i can, and the people who i do feel comfortable around know and respect my pronouns and identity, but not everyone does.

also, there isn't always a place for me to share my pronouns judgement free. a lot of the time, if i want to, i have to voluntarily out myself. which is not something i'm always up to doing.

[internet-angelmp3]

Hello! I wouldn't call myself an anti, I'm more or less just morbidly curious about your community but would never personally join it based on my own standing on a lot you guys accept, though I don't think a lot of what you guys are doing is really that harmful to others so I don't really? Hate the community? Idk. I just have a question I wished to ask as I'm curious, answer if you want you can tell me to fuck off as well.

Mainly I'm just curious on what made you decide to become a radqueer, and perhaps how you figured out what you're experiencing is a 'transid'. I myself am a part of a system so I do feel more connected with some basic transid's I won't lie, but I really don't grasp trans disabilities or mental illnesses in the slightest, why would you want something like that? Not to be rude just extremely curious. Or trans races or ethnicities.

Have a good day! I am sending this out to multiple people, I enjoy hearing multiple perspectives.

Hello! I won't tell anyone who's polite to fuck off, Anti's included! Since you're asking so nicely as a neutral party, I'll explain but the post will be a bit long so I'll ramble under the cut.

My first few transids were trans heterochromia and trans intersex.

For trans heterochromia I had believed my whole life, even as a young child, that I should have heterochromia and it felt simply wrong that I didn't. I used to think about it a lot and get very irrationally upset that I did not have heterochromia.

As for trans intersex, it started when I was younger and I was very bigendered and I felt like it wasn't just bigender, that it was a part of me. As I got older, my voice deepened and I got excess hair in certain parts even though I was afab and started to show many signs of actually being intersex.

However, I don't have access to a doctor or any diagnosis due to the lack of resources in such a small Australian country town, living far away from the hospital and having no way to get there and I and my family have no money to spare. Along with that, no matter what I tell counsellors about my childhood neglect and have even told them about my SA trauma, they insist that all my problems are because I am queer or because I have a menstrual cycle.

So I changed from trans intersex to tris (trans and cis) intersex. Because I show many symptoms of having Congenital Adrenal Hyperplasia (an intersex condition) but I don't feel intersex enough to be valid or for people to take me seriously. I wish my intersex was more visible so I would have a proper reason and my parents and doctors and counsellors would believe me.

Another big one for me is tris (trans and cis) Irish. I am Irish, my father's side is 100% Irish. They immigrated to a small Australian town during a gold rush. After the gold rush, they stayed. I feel disconnected from my culture as I did not grow up in Ireland but I feel a pull to the culture, to the country. There are a lot of people who live in Ireland who say "If you don't live in Ireland, you're not Irish." referring to people who are 1% Irish but I am at least 30% Irish, 50% at the most. I'm cis Irish but feel trans Irish because of the disconnection I have with my culture due to immigration.

I also have tris (trans and cis) plural on my pinned post, it's similar to my experience with being tris intersex. I am plural, I experience plurality. I talk with my headmates. We are a traumagenic system. But it feels like if we went anywhere near anti endogenic spaces, other traumagenics would fakeclaim us because we relate to the labels "Hydra conscious" (We share a consciousness but also have separate ones), "Singletflux" (We spend most of our time as a singlet but during times of stress we split up again) and other labels like those.

Thanks for asking so nicely, Anon! Have a very nice day!

[leon-on-the-froggy-chair]

Felt like rambling aimlessly today.

Because bro. Words can't even begin to describe how much Resident Evil means to me. I was just talking about horror games and the essence of them with friends and theres just SOMETHING about Resident Evil that the roots of my very soul have buried themselves into. There is no me without RE (badum tss). As funky as that sounds its something thats been so greatly important to my development in a way I don't think anyone could really understand. This was the thing that was there no matter what I was going through, its the lens through which I learned to view the world as a kid and still sort of do (autism moment), its the thing that made me undertand myself as a person and find my identity, it's essentially the thing that raised me where my parents didn't. And its funnier that it was introduced to me by my parents. And by extent it's characters are so greatly fucking important to me, and of those Ada especially. She was really the first character i could relate to and my first character-focussed hyperfixation. And she honestly got me through a lot and her character taught me a lot as a kid.

And on that, I can't begin to explain how much i CRIED playing RE4R's Separate Ways. I know theres criticisms but it just made my inner child so fucking happy to finally see her character treated with the respect and attention she deserves. And the soundtrack carried so much important nostalgia I cried every time I opened a typewriter lmao. The whole remake got me really bad actually. THE most important game to my childhood got remade this year and delivered everything younger me and current me could've ever wanted AND MORE. They showed me a new rendition of a character I previously disliked that I now deeply relate to and who's arcs have taught me a new perspective on my real life and who is also getting me through a lot, much like Ada did all those years ago. This is a very long way of saying Ada and Luis are deeply engrained in my soul. But seriously. I know its probably in some way sad or comes off deeply out of touch with reality but the impact of these games and especially RE4 Remake currently is inexplicable.

And I have known people who've talked about how "new fans" ruin the games or characters for them. And I've seen a lot of people get pissed about kids getting into the games. But idk, first of all I'm happy more people are into the games (creepy or otherwise gross people excluded). And I don't think theres a world where someone could truly detatch me from these characters or this franchise. I've been through a lot with this special interest and idk that serves to have made it even more important to me.

[littleshopofhorrors-confessions]

Confession: I don't hate Orin ships I just don't think they work in the way people want them to

By virtue of who he is, Orin is more interesting as a character because of his relationships because we get to see how much of a shithead he can be (and how differently he acts towards and around certain people) so I do like, in theory, shipping him. It can be interesting to see him in relationships with someone other than Audrey.

However, it's the way I often see people go about shipping him that I usually have a problem with (and even then I usually just ignore it lol I just thought I'd get my opinion out there)

Arthur and Orin, for example. I see where people are coming from, it seems like a perfect match, but imo his character is more about causing others pain, and if they got pleasure from that pain it would completely ruin it for him. Getting pleasure from the pain he's causing would sort of strip him of his power, if that makes sense, which I'm pretty sure that's what he's ultimately after. I can see someone definitely taking this in an interesting way, where Orin could maybe grapple with his overall feelings on the matter? Idk something like that but I feel like the ship is often just boiled down to "lol sadist and masochist how perfect" or other things like that.

The other big one that I've seen is Seymour and Orin??? I don't really. Get that one. I mean, sure, I can see it from Orin's perspective, he won't really fight back and he's easy to hurt, but I don't really see how. Like. They'd even get into a relationship in the first place? Idk maybe someone can explain how they see it in a rb and that'll clear it up. I also don't see Seymour just kinda going with it as much as Audrey does, he'd probably reject Orin and hide away in the shop or something like that lol

Anyways that's just my take on things lol I hope this wasn't too rambly

---

[ultfreakme]

RIKI OH MY FUCKING GOD DID YOU SEE THE AOSJK 6 PREVIEWS? JON HAS GONE FULL FUCKING COLD AND CALCULATING. ITS FUCKING HAPPENING

I am in shock and awe.

I am so shocked right now.

Okay. Look. Okay so we already KNOW Jon likes to be methodical and goes into every fight having done some homework and preparation. We saw how confident he gets, and can even flaunt his strengths when he is assured he has the upper hand (when he did that microsurgery on Lachlan/flaming dude in SOKE, winning against Lex in chess).

But this.

This is on a level I just did not expect. The terrifying part for me, about Jon, is that he is nowhere near as nice as Clark when he's confronting people. He gives them a chance to explain themselves, he listens. But he does it with this...distance. I think this preview shows him at the height of his preparedness and AOSJK is a good example overall to show how exactly Jon works as Superman.

He asks what the problem is

He gets perspectives from all parties

He does personal investigation

He waits and watches

He deliberates on it and examines the information

He prepares himself for whatever battle is to come to his best abilities based on the information he's gathered

He strikes

He's so very methodical in the way he fights and this means he's not personally involving himself as much as other Supers usually do. He's doing the right thing but the measures he's going to are treading on some...questionable territories???

Like he's ripping off nth metal wings, he came to an agreement with Barry but even then he isn't nice about it, he's not being like "I know you have good in you Barry" and trying to appeal to his emotions AT ALL. Actually I don't think he's ever tried to 'redeem' ANY of them- even the people he's trying to save.

I think....Harley expected a better closure or better reception to admission of her involvement in Lois's death but Jon just ripped her a new one and left it at that.

He has a job to do, and atm Barry's a non-issue and that's all that matters. I don't think he particularly cares right now about "second chances". The previews cut off but he REALIZES Hal is SCARED and....and he seems so unaffected by the fact that Hal's scared of him. Which is wild considering the Yellow Lantern Ring is involved rn, and it's all about fear(fingers crossed Jon Yellow Lantern???)

There's like a clear shift in tone when Jon realizes Jay's missing. He goes from just distant and cold to angry and cold. Idk, we always think Jon's the nicer one but he really isn't.

I keep comparing him to Clark and I'm like. If Clark were here, he'd probably try to appeal to InClarkstice and this JL. Or he'd focus on rescuing the rebel team over taking down the JL. It's so clear just from this how Jon's priorities differ.

Sorry for rambling anyways Jon's fucking unhinged.

[dreamsclock]

(you said to ask u abt brei/coded so here i am haha) he looks so shaped!!

i'm curious abt the magic system? you said brei had illegal powers and stuff are there specific powers? like someone has ice power, fire power, etc what powers does brei have? the other characters? (like ryn and Ilse)

are there deities in this story? Death is a person (i think. like not person person but like. yknow.) is there any others?

i read through ur old writing and its just !!!! what do you mean he met Death? what??? the snippets you posted are so cool!

also: brei’s answer is to kill versions of their sister until their corpses start appearing across the forest. i’m sure that’s healthy!

brei. brei no. oh no.

idk just the ideas/wiritng look rly cool omg <3

oh frick u said to send writing prompts haha

um. something in brie's childhood?

oh my god thank u so much anon ?? this is so lovely and i will take absolutely ANY excuse to ramble about my original work so here goes :] putting this under a cut bc whoops this got long

ORILLIUM’S MAGIC SYSTEM

(For reference, Orillium is the name of the kingdom the trilogy is set in — the whole series is called The Orillium Saga, because there are multiple stories within the kingdom I plan on publishing eventually! The Code Trilogy is the main trilogy and takes place primarily from the perspective of Ikah Ghild, Brei’s younger sister. Her name used to be Ilse until someone here recommended a cooler name GDKDHKS)

To explain the magic system, I’m gonna start by explaining the world and how the magic works before delving into specifics. The whole world that The Orillium Saga (aka The Code Trilogy) exists in a state of binary code — think of it like a website!! The average user of a website, or average citizen in this series, sees the website only. But if you know where to look and what to click, you can see the binary code that creates the website: if you’re really good and knowledgeable, you can alter the code to varying extents. This is how the world works in The Orillium Saga — a majority of people can’t work the code, but for those who can, they can manipulate the world in different ways, to different power levels.

Most people in the series have limited abilities: coding is hard work, takes a lot of concentration, and often works best when taught by expensive tutors. For a majority of coders, their abilities stop at very basic, but useful, alterations: if a machine stops working, they can access the code to fix it; if they want to heat something up/cool something down, it takes seconds to rewrite part of the code to do so; if they run out of a basic household item, they can duplicate a revised version of its code to give them a lifetime supply. Basic, but so useful: most content themselves with coding that’s been taught to them by their family, and don’t push for more.

For those with the money or status to get training, however… The story changes entirely. For example, Brei has the ability to rewrite entire chunks of world code — not just the code of objects, but the code of the world, or of other people. They’re not alone in this — many other coders associated with money/power can also do this — but Brei’s powers veer into a different type of coding I’ve called hacking, until I can think of a different name for it. Hacking is the most powerful version of coding: it involves duplicating part of the world code, and using it to create “pocket worlds,” that exist outside of the normal world. Brei is the only person to have done this in recent times, and the first time they DID, it was an accident: it also almost resulted in their death.

Coding is reversible. Hacking is not. Brei’s pocket world remains no matter what, and their futile attempts to get rid of it only result in glitching, error, and further injury. There’s a reason Brei is so against anyone else trying to use hacking. Unfortunately for them, Ryn Altenchild has plans of her own, and so does Ikah.

Tldr; coding = legal but rare, hacking = illegal and rarer.

DEITIES + OTHER CHARACTERS

Brei is hands down my favourite character, but the most complicated character to write by FAR is Ghild. She’s actually changed a lot across drafts / plans — she came from a Technoblade-esque character to Death to what she is now, which is a weird glitch in the code that Brei very accidentally created. She’s the closest thing to a Deity that truly exists, and I can’t talk too much about what she actually is because spoilers, but she’s sooooo so interesting. Between you and me, she’s a lot more sinister than she appears, and I think a lot of ppl are going to underestimate her as a character :D

Ikah, Ryn, and Ameian are the other three main characters aside from Ghild and Brei. Ikah (formerly Ilse) and Ameian are best friends: Ameian is the son of the rulers of Orillium, and Ikah and Brei (alongside their now deceased parents) worked with them to keep the kingdom running. Both Ikah and Ameian join Ryn’s rebellion, and Ryn is VERY interested in keeping her hacking from the two of them — probably for the best, because ignorance is the best form of bliss. Ameian has no coding abilities, Ikah has significantly advanced coding skills, and Ryn’s hacking is praiseworthy, but not quite at the height of Brei’s. Not yet, anyway.

BREI AS A CHARACTER

Ghild may be the most complicated to write, but Brei steals the show for the most fucked up. The advantage of hacking a “pocket world” is that Brei (or whoever hacks) has control over every aspect of that world! The disadvantage is that you have to be relatively stable to keep the world itself stable. Brei has NOT been stable in a long time, and thus their subconscious has significant sway over what happens in that world lmao - hence the killing of their sister BJDLDJDK. I’m writing a chapter right now that happens halfway through the first book of The Code Trilogy where Ikah finds her own dead body in the forest of a pocket world: it’s surreal and fucked up and horrible and she has no idea how or why it’s there until halfway through book three when Brei reveals it to her ^_^

these are probably bigger spoilers than i should be posting however. i LOVE talking about the orillium saga and appreciate the chance to ramble about it !!!! brei is c!dream coded and initially was way more happy until i made them worse - tysm again anon i loved this <33

[bepp-ers]

you ever just think about yandere father Izuku or bakugou having their child reader find out that he kidnapped his darling??? I’m so use to seeing the reader as the darling, but the reader being his child is a cool perspective!! there could be a huge difference and rights between the child and the darling cuz they don’t want their kid to see them as a villain. idk what you’re comfortable with this, but i love angst so a child walking in on their daddy doing something horrible like hurting their mother and seeing that their daddy is not the man who they thought he was is my cup of tea. haha, I’m just rambling but I would love your take or a Drabble on this from your perspective!!!

anon. anon. ANON I FUCKING LOVE YOU RIGHT NOW!!!!! this is such a good little prompt ahahansksnksnsjsjs hhh ilysm bestie. thanks for the ask, lovely anon! requests are always open!! please im dying idea lmao <3

reader seeing yandere! Midoriya or Bakugou partaking in yandere behaviour, and realising who he truly is

You couldn't believe your eyes. Here, the man who had raised you, the number one hero, your dearest old man was currently slicing open your mother as if she was nothing more than a goddamn potato or something!

It was sickening, truly.

"[Name]? I thought you were with your friend?"

You were frozen, anchored to the spot with fear.

"Ah, sorry about all this. I'm afraid your mother, well, she... she had her flaws. I'd never hurt you, though! You're my flesh and blood, after all, you're far too dear to me-- hey, sweetie, where are you going??"

You turned and bolted, not knowing where to go. This was your home, after all, there was no place to run to or hide in.

"[Name], honey, stop running!! It's really not what it looks like! Can't you just talk to your daddy??" Hey yelled, his tone unusually different to what you recognised.

You yelled in pain as he jumped at you, grabbing you by your arm and spinning you to face him.

"[Name]! What's gotten into you?" "The fuck d'you mean?? What the hell did you do to Mum?!?" You wrenched away from him, but being:

-quirkless

-far younger

-not a hero

-terrifed

it didn't really work.

"I'm sorry, chickpea, but you're just gonna have to stay here for a while. I'll explain it, but all in a good time. Now-"

His grip on your arm tightened, and you winced. "I think you should go to your room. Cool off a bit, huh? Kids these days, too much energy."

He chuckled and released you, patting your head as though there was nothing wrong.

You loathed it.

Turning around, you instantly began thinking of how you could escape, or how you could get help.

"Oh, and don't bother trying to leave, now. Everything's already locked, sweetie. Dinner's at 7."

This wasn't the father you knew at all. And you sure as hell weren't going to accept him for it, either.

Unfortunately, something in your heart told you that you really didn't have a say in the matter.

[hyunjinspark]

hi!! im rereading slwy because im super normal and have a very healthy attachment to it, and i'm just noticing small details that i missed the first time i read it. at first i only saw the connection between yn's arrangement of the blue and purple paints and the balloons on chap 12, but now i noticed things like how hyunjin was carrying a purple bag the very first time yn saw him, the purple hair clip he wore, the blue star yn drew on his cheek and how the heart on her cheek was purple, then the balloons on chapter 12....... i feel insane

also i wanna mention - i love ur writing in general, but i just have to talk about the double date. ur writing is really extremely immersive - the way hyunjin was not "supposed" to pay attention to yn at all, but there were subtle moments where it was so clear that she was always on the back of his mind. i don't really know how to explain it, because you made it so subtle. like, it was clear he was intrigued by her, but it could very well be just her wishful thinking, but it wasnt, but it could be, but i know it wasnt ?!?!?,!!? you get me ?,!?!,!? the only real confirmation we get that he was very much thinking ab her is when he buys her the whole damn menu, but thats like by the end of the date, so when it happens it feels like he was being so successful in hiding his interest in her, but he slipped up bad on that one and made it obvious. so yeah, extremely immersive and i was very impressed while reading it again

and man, i already knew hana sucked, but rereading has made me realize shes legit fucking awful. idek if shes aware of how bad of a friend she is, idk if she does it on purpose but at the end of the day i guess that doesn't really matter, she still sucks ass

i used to think felix was worse, because he's more outwardly toxic, but that's what makes hana that much more of a bitch. she belittles yn in so many moments but its so quick you almost miss it, she crosses every single boundary my good sister tries to set and i KNOW she isnt even that cute alright yn just blindly likes her too much

okay thats it sorry for rambling i have a hard time writing words that make sense

have a lovely lovely day you you talented soul i'll miss you until you blow my notifications up again

🩸

hiii. i love this so much, and i love you ! this made me laugh, and ive had a very stressful day so thank you 🥺☹️

you noticed all the colors, it makes me so happy because i love putting little details like that, even if they go unnoticed but just for myself, and the story.

thank you for loving the double date that was actually hard to write because i did not want hyunjin to come off as someone (rude?) for not being interested in hana or not being sweet to her, but i also wanted to push the initial attraction he has for yn. looking back, it was one of my favorite “tensions” to write and the fact that you think this way makes me very proud, thank you! i definitely wanted to leave it up, because he is intrigued by yn but we’re also seeing things from yns perspective so it can be skewed.

felix and hana can be “toxic” in different ways. for lix, it almost always stems from hyunjin, but for hana, her behaviour is the same regardless of the situation, so yeah its about picking the lesser evil 😳

you made sense, dont worry, and you made me so happy with this message.

[hiswitchcraft]

youve mentioned a few times, but idk if anyones ever asked abt it. youve said that you dont think some people should practice witchcraft, can you explain like who and why?

Why Witchcraft Isn't For Some People (Especially If They Want To Build A Practice Like I Did)

I want to say I've gone over it before but I'm not sure. Happy to go over it either way!

I want to preface this by saying this is just my opinion that is heavily based on my experience and perception of witchcraft and how it should be approached. It also primarily applies to the kind of witchcraft I practice. If you disagree, that's fine. Those that ask for my take decide to and are always welcome to get a second opinion or go somewhere else entirely for their takes if they wish.

I personally see witchcraft as a study and a craft. I often compare it to painting. It can range from something you casually dabble in and enjoy, to something that's a permanent part of your life, identity, and the way you function. It's even become a profession for a lot of people. I think anywhere on the spectrum is valid but two things are required no matter where you fall on the spectrum.

The first thing is studying and a lot of it. Let's say you only practice tarot, and use crystals. Those things aren't very risky but you still need to invest a ton of time in just learning how to do them. It can take a lot of time to even learn that's what you're interested in and if you do want to practice something riskier like more advanced spell work or spirit work that's even more studying. You'll need to know how to prepare for a spell, ward, possibly banish and bind, how to discern, contact entities, what to do if something goes wrong, ect ect. If you're not willing to study it can be frustrating at best and risky at worst.

The second thing is knowing yourself. If you're not very in touch with who you are and what you want/like, you will struggle. How will you know what practices or topics to begin with? What should go on your altar? What kinds of spells you might like to do? Ingredients you prefer? What deities you want to contact, if any at all? Unless you follow a specific tradition so many things are based on personal preference. Many, many things are still based on personal preference. What you like and are drawn to intuitively and personally will guide you. It's normal to feel overwhelmed when beginning anyways, much more so if you don't know what you like. It's something to keep in mind.

I say all this to say that some people just seem to be fundamentally bad at solid research and figuring out what they want. If that's the case and you want to practice the eclectic form-your-own-practice kind of witchcraft I practice (and which is the foundation of all my content) it's going to be very difficult for you and a lot of people really seem to struggle. You might struggle anyways, even with a more specific path. I would imagine intense study would be necessary. The specific path would only answer some of the questions above that relate to knowing yourself. I don't follow a specific path and don't teach from the perspective of one so I can't give the clearest take on that aspect.

Some people have probably learned to research or learned more about themselves through witchcraft but a ton of people just seem to struggle and create unnecessary issues.

I have never told anyone they can't or shouldn't be a witch and I probably never will. This is just something I've observed personally, and I was asked for my take so I gave it.

TL;DR: If you don't like research being a witch is going to be very hard and possibly risky for you.

Thank you for reading my ramble dears! 😅

[sk1fanfiction]

hey darling, eleventhboi here! i was just rereading your character analysis for tom, and i must say i agree with you on so many levels and it’s wonderful to see all my compicated thoughts about him written down wonderfully like you did!! but, i assume just like you, i can’t really understand his motives later in his life no matter how i try to look at it from different perspectives from time to time. but there is this one analysis by @thecarnivorousmuffinmeta -a controvertial but great one definitely- but i’m not so sure if i agree with that or not. if you’re up to answer; since we think quite alike, i wonder what’s your take on that one? you can just say ‘idk bro’, or make an explanation or not answer at all darling- it’s your call. lots of love!!

Hi!!

I love to ramble and especially about Tom Riddle, thank you so much for giving me the excuse. The analysis you linked is definitely a really good one, Carnivorous Muffin has a lot of interesting points on Tom's character.

Long post ahead!

Link to my five-part character analysis here, in which I have opinions about Tom Riddle.

A Second Attempt: Demystifying Voldemort the Villain

Tom Riddle has the potential to be an interesting villain, but unfortunately Lord Voldemort is a shallow, unmotivated and disorganised Hitler metaphor, right down to the claim that Hitler’s grandfather was Jewish neatly coinciding with Riddle being half-blood.

Now, this wouldn’t be so bad if he were Sheev Palpatine, but he’s not. The attempts to give his backstory depth in COS and HBP only serve to make him more frustrating, because Tom Riddle is an infinitely better character and villain than the not very scary bogeyman Voldemort, and this leads me in Part 5 to come to the same conclusion as @theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin’s starting point — Lord Voldemort as presented doesn’t make sense. Unlike Carnivorous Muffin, I didn’t offer a serious solution (other than Voldemort becoming some kind of immortal non-human or the actual Grim Reaper, which is very weird and a bit tongue-in-cheek).

I think, going chronologically, where Tom’s characterization starts to annoy me (see Part 3, where I explain why it doesn’t make sense given his criminal profile, psychological profile, style of the murder itself, or family history) is the murder of the Riddle family. So, I ended up here:

Point being, I think the patricide bit was just put in to make Tom sound more evil.

Although this isn’t mentioned in Carnivorous Muffin’s analysis, this is going to be relevant; because I think from here, Tom's characterization generally starts to go south.

Here's the premises of Carnivorous Muffin's argument:

We know very little about Tom Riddle or Voldemort

What we do know of Tom Riddle comes to us from suspect sources

I’m just going to go out there and start with the basis that Tom is not crazy

I'm going to look at (3), because I think it's the most important one, as (1) and (2) have ample support, as CM elaborates.

While crazy is one of those terms that makes less and less sense the more psychology papers you read (along with its shadow cousins, mad and insane), I think if I can distill the common-sense idea of 'craziness' into two things, it would be (A) irrationality and (B) psychosis, or a break with reality.

I'll tackle (B) first, because it's simpler.

Does Tom suffer from breaks with reality? Delusions?

We don't know, because unfortunately we never get to poke around in his head, but I wouldn't rule it out 100%. The guy does have an unexplained pathological fear of death that leads him to rip his soul seven times. This could be the result of a delusion.

Not only that, but sixteen-year-old Tom floats around the Chamber, telling Harry how wonderful and awesome he is, and how he's Lord Voldemort, the greatest sorcerer of all time. Now, we know he's not far off, but both this and his fear of death, although we don't have nearly enough data points, are enough to raise a few eyebrows IMO.

And then (A). Is Tom Riddle unable to reason?

Again in Part 3, I believe Tom knows right from wrong (especially in the case of murder).

Emphasis on the noble. A noble thing is worth doing; a thing worth doing is good. Ergo, Diary Tom believes in the concept of good (and perhaps, by extension, evil). In fact, this is the last time we will hear ‘moral duty’ reasoning out of Tom for reasons that will be discussed below. And what I find really interesting about this, is what it suggests about Tom’s internal state: he either doesn’t believe in right and wrong (because murder is wrong), or he does, and just doesn’t adhere to it.

The latter is more likely than you think: Here’s a conclusion from the linked paper (about young children, but still interesting) that I think could apply here: "In summary, a concern for relative advantage may prevent children from enacting their knowledge of fairness when actual resources are at stake.”

Furthermore, canon tells us that creating Horcruxes did not affect Voldemort's mental abilities.

Evidence #1

But here’s a weird thing Tom says in HBP:

“Yes, sir,” said Riddle. “What I don’t understand, though – just out of curiosity – I mean, would one Horcrux be much use? Can you only split your soul once? Wouldn’t it be better, make you stronger, to have your soul in more pieces, I mean, for instance, isn’t seven the most powerfully magical number, wouldn’t seven – ?”

Evidence #2

Although we think that such a destructive process must weaken Tom, even Dumbledore doesn’t seem to think that’s the case:

“Yes, I think so,” said Dumbledore. “Without his Horcruxes, Voldemort will be a mortal man with a maimed and diminished soul. Never forget, though, that while his soul may be damaged beyond repair, his brain and his magical powers remain intact. It will take uncommon skill and power to kill a wizard like Voldemort even without his Horcruxes.”

In summary, although Tom may or not suffer from delusions, I agree with something approximately close to (3):

3*. Neither Horcruxes nor genetics nor environment impaired Tom Riddle's mental faculties sufficiently that he was unable to reason effectively and rationally, moral or otherwise. The thing is, oftentimes rational people reason that it is rational to kill.

Now, onto the actual argument:

Of course, I will address things out of order.

CM: I’ve gone over this before, but I don’t believe Tom had minions early and I think he was effectively treated as a muggleborn (see here and here) until he took on the Voldemort persona many decades later. I’m hard pressed to believe someone as intelligent, angry, and proud as Tom Riddle would willingly believe and accept he was inferior to the likes of Abraxas Malfoy. More, even if he wished he was a halfblood, I think the evidence of him being muggleborn would be stacked too high against him to deny even to himself (and when he finds out it’s not true, he has maybe a month or so before he realized that he’s the bastard son of a squib).

Which is about identical to my assessment in Part 1 except for a single, but important point:

While of course, this does NOT excuse ANY of his actions, I find it vastly implausible that the likes of Malfoy, Mulciber, Carrow, etc… would have been welcoming in any way, shape or form to an assumed ‘Mudblood’ in scruffy secondhand robes from a London orphanage, and as such, indoctrinated him into his fanatic belief in blood-purity via antagonizing him.

...

In other terms, I think Tom was bullied for having dubious origins. That’s often the swiftest way to radicalize someone, and would have left Tom with a crippling sense of self-hatred that I don’t think he would have even picked up from the orphanage.

I think one of the reasons, perhaps, that our opinions differ, is that I believe Tom discovered very early that he was a Gaunt on his mother's side (first or second year at the latest). Why? Because in COS he says he's been searching for the Chamber for a long time, meaning one or more years, and that means that he's known he was descended from Salazar Slytherin for a while. But of course this is Math of Throwaway Villain Lines; your mileage may vary. So I believe this Gaunt heritage (see Part 2 where I discuss the Gaunt Ring) was something Tom became obsessed with and really clung to, and that at the same time, he developed a lot of resentment towards Riddle Senior (because that's about the only way to resolve the annoying patricide subplot). Plus, seeing as the Pure-blood Directory existed, it was just a matter of Tom finding Marvolo Gaunt's name in there.

There's a second reason I think Tom really does, if not outright hate Muggle-borns, consider them beneath him. It's this.

While CM points out that this is Tom at a point of crisis, right now he's not actually fighting for survival. Right now, he's in control, and he's in control until Fawkes deus ex machina's Harry from dying of basilisk venom in Voldemort's most airtight and well-thought-out murder attempt.

Here's the shallow basis of why Tom does have at least contempt towards Muggle-borns (from Part 3, section on cognitive dissonance):

1. He believes murder is wrong. 2. He’s murdered someone. 3. We know that in order to successfully make a Horcrux, you can’t feel the guilt or remorse associated with your actions (or else you’ll end up healing your soul). 4. Tom has to rationalize his actions in order to not feel guilty.

Solution: Well, she's a Mudblood, so her life didn't matter. Or perhaps she even deserved to die.

Something like this, perhaps?

Salazar Slytherin is revered by my housemates, who I look up to -> Salazar Slytherin is good -> His ideals are good -> purging the school of Muggle-borns is good, plus it benefits me in that I get to make a Horcrux -> killing Myrtle Warren is good.

Now, do I think Tom is the #1 Muggle and Muggle-born hater in Britain? Uh, no. Not even close. But does Murder Justifiable, Mudblood Bad enter Tom's moral reasoning set? Yes. Definitely yes.

I'll summarise this post, where CM says that Tom opening the Chamber was basically an unplanned power trip with no end goal -- in their words, a mental breakdown.

CM: “Something” is releasing the basilisk, murdering all the roosters, and painting the walls in blood.

He watches the students run around in terror, feeling very important, very much like the Heir of Slytherin. LOOK, TOM IS IMPORTANT TOO!

And then someone dies and reality crashes back down.

Whenever writing pre-Voldemort Tom Riddle, we have to justify why:

(1) Tom does the Dumb Shit he does

(2) Tom does the Immoral Shit he does

(3) How TF he doesn't get caught doing the Dumb and Immoral Shit he does

Of course, me being me, I'll start with (3), in which case there's a major issue.

Namely, Dumbledore.

Love the twinkly-eyed bastard or hate him, he's an extremely skilled Legilimens, and I don't like sixteen-year-old Tom's chances over an entire year. Maybe Tom avoids looking him in the eyes. Maybe he practises Occlumency. Maybe Dumbledore's having a major depressive episode that saps his magical abilities.

Even so, Dumbledore is onto Tom, and Tom knows that Dumbledore is onto him. Furthermore, out of the several people who were attacked, only one died, which means that all the victims but Myrtle saw the basilisk's reflection... perhaps someone with mind powers made sure that this happened?

That in itself is a hint that a lot of thought went into this; Tom intended to Petrify, not kill Muggle-borns for whatever reason.

(I have my own headcanons about Salazar as a toxic father figure who Tom tried to emulate/please but that's unfounded and just a personal headcanon.)

However, my why is pretty close to CM's. First off, like CM, I think that Tom Riddle hates the status quo in the wizarding world. And I don't know if fifth year is his breaking point, necessarily. I think Tom is just generally in a quagmire of emotional crisis and mental turmoil which the Horcruxes are very much part of and a metaphor for self-harm (see Part 2 and especially Part 4 for an in-depth discussion of institutionalised childcare).

I think Tom assumes that his Muggle father most likely died before he was born, which is why Merope named him after him. Tom hates his father because he’s learned pureblood supremacy from his fellow Slytherins, and covets the respect and power that would come with being pureblood himself as he’s sick of being mistaken for a Muggle-born (we’ve seen Dippet do it) and feels that he has to prove himself as the Heir of Slytherin by opening the CoS, having no proof of magical heritage. I don’t think he’s that stupid to go around flashing his Parseltongue, especially given Dumbledore’s response to it, and it doesn’t prove that he’s the Heir of Slytherin, anyway.

And eventually, I came to a similar conclusion as CM, albeit that I think a lot of careful planning went into the Chamber openings. After all, transporting a fifty foot basilisk discreetly and quickly is no small feat.

Seeing as the public doesn’t know that Lord Voldemort opened the Chamber of Secrets (and thus don’t know that he’s the Heir of Slytherin, either), I think Tom did it all for the good of his own ego, insecurity, and of course that self-harming behaviour turned outwards that we discussed before.

Getting back to the point.

Anyway. So Tom is a petty, self-hating yet egotistical adolescent murderer who has had blood purist ideology drilled into him and solidified by his own actions/solving his own cognitive dissonance, and hates that the world where he should belong discriminates against him for being a Muggle-born/low-class, bastard half-blood who has a pureblood imaginary alter ego he uses to cope (did I mention Lord Voldemort is one of Tom's maladaptive coping mechanisms?) somewhat reminiscent of Pecola's blue-eyed reflection in The Bluest Eye.

CM: Second, I never really bought Tom’s racism. It’s too convenient and too contradictory with his backstory.

So, I suppose the main thing we disagree on here is that I think it's plausible and quite likely that Tom both has a massive ego and is self-hating.

CM: And it’s just so convenient. All the people with the power, with the money, who are itching for a cause against a threat that doesn’t really exist believe in blood purity. Ergo, Voldemort shows up suddenly espousing over the top blood purity rhetoric (rhetoric that directly clashes with his “there is only power” philosophy at that).

Now, this I do agree with. It's convenient. Tom is a rational being, and purebloods have money. Why not tell the people what they want to hear? But that doesn't mean he doesn't agree with it, even a little.

Tom Riddle is an Ineffective Big Bad... Or Is He?

CM: For a guy who has had the entire country in the palm of his hands twice, one time taking it over in a bloodless coup, he’s really big on causing collateral damage and really small on actually doing the ruling thing.

The problem with the Hitler metaphor, and where it falls apart big-time, is that Hitler was a German nationalist.

Voldemort is...

His motive is to...

His intentions are to... kill all Mudbloods... but he doesn't try to kill all of them... or even most...

His goal is...

Uh...

Voldemort is not well-characterized. I don’t understand his motives, and the ones that I do understand are not compelling.

Not to die? Well, he’s already made several Horcruxes. Why not sit back and relax? Why start a war and risk himself?

JKR said that Voldemort’s great desire was to become all-powerful and eternal. But that’s… boring! It does little to tell us about Voldemort, other than that he’s a villain and a wannabe dictator.

Not only that, but as CM says, Voldemort is already the greatest Dark wizard of all time and has control of the government of Wizarding Britain. But let's not get ahead of ourselves.

Remember how I said patricide is when Tom Riddle stops making sense?

Yep.

First, Tom turns down several Ministry offers to work at Borgin and Burkes. CM posits that it's possible that the Ministry positions were not offered and Slughorn told Harry a fib perhaps; because although Dumbledore points out that after several years, Tom was able to use his job to get Hufflepuff's Cup and Slytherin's Locket, there was no guarantee that he would find anything. He just got lucky, because plot.

Like CM, I don't think it's plausible that Tom turned down government positions to work in a disreputable shop in Knockturn Alley; yet, I don't think Slughorn was lying. Perhaps, they were only temporary positions, refused to pay Tom enough to live on or at all, et cetera.

Sometime before 1970, Tom pays a visit to Dumbledore to apply for the Defence position, and ends up stashing the Diadem Horcrux, then cursing the position, because petty.

But herein lies the issue; no one who wants to take over the world becomes a teacher. They just don't.

And it's not the first time Tom asked to teach, that being immediately after graduation. He even seemed interested at the beginning of his sixth year during the Pensieve scene. Furthermore, I don't think Tom was seriously considering World Takeover while at Hogwarts. I think, because as Harry says, Tom and Harry share a first love = Hogwarts, he may possibly have been quite content to be the Defence professor??? Teaching was good enough for his equal in skill and intelligence (Dumbledore), so why not for Tom?

I just don't see how he would corrupt the youths further than they already are, what with the pureblood supremacy in Slytherin and the Horcrux and Dark magic books easily available in the library. There is nothing in the Voldemort Handbook that hasn't been done before. He simply, as CM points out, mines and refines blood purity ideas that are already there.

No. I think Tom, having left his shitty job, picked up a few pureblood wannabes using his new Lord Voldemort persona (like CM, I don't think the Knights of Walpurgis existed early on as Tom's followers. In my opinion, Tom got a bit of street cred in his last two years for claiming the Gaunt ring, but idk if it's enough to regard him as anything more than a curiosity given he ended up at Borgin and Burkes), and completed his seven-part soul, intends to sit back and relax at his favourite place in the entire world and be showered with respect, admiration, and Christmas cards, which is of course the sensible thing to do.

But... Tom has poor impulse control at times.

By at times I mean often.

Temper, temper, temper.

He jinxes the Defence position (which could have been a savvy move to make Order fighters ineffective, but it would also impact Death Eaters since they're drawing from the same pool), hides the Horcrux like he was intending, and storms out.

Why start a war?

CM: I believe Tom was systematically destroying the very foundations of the country through its core aristocratic families. Within a few short years Tom decimates the Black family, it goes from having five heirs to none, and while some of this isn’t Tom’s fault he does take care of quite a few of them. He brands Lucius for life, while Lucius rises high in politics he never escapes the stigma of being a known Death Eater and in the end cannot escape the consequences for his actions. The Malfoy family is very nearly destroyed by the end of the series, had Draco died in the Fiendfyre. The LeStrange family, presumably decimated as well.

I'm going to go way back in time here. One of the chronologically first things we learn about Tom is this:

"Billy Stubbs's rabbit. . . well, Tom said he didn't do it and I don't see how he could have done, but even so, it didn't hang itself from the rafters, did it?"

"I shouldn't think so, no," said Dumbledore quietly.

"But I'm jiggered if I know how he got up there to do it. All I know is he and Billy had argued the day before."

While some might point out that Mrs. Cole isn't the most reliable source, I actually really like this detail; because it tells us that Tom has a hell of a vindictive streak. When he feels he has been wronged; you'd better believe that there will be consequences.

And yes, Tom Riddle is a very smart guy, but I'm not sure if CM gives him a little too much credit here.

Yes, he has no particular love for the pureblood leaders of the not-free world, but this kind of long-term planning requires unparalleled chessmaster-ing that makes me go ehhhh, especially when said chessmaster gets outsmarted by his old teacher, a twenty-one-year-old Muggle-born, one of his very own Death Eaters, and his very own vendetta against a certain green-eyed teenager.

In fact, let's talk about Voldemort and Harry. He fails to kill a baby due to the Power Of Love (canon) or the Power Of Love Plus Lily Evans's Badass Invented Sacrifice Spell (headcanon) and ends up as a wraith for nine years.

And what does Voldemort do a year later, when presented with the options to (1) get the Philosopher's Stone and his body back or (2) kill Harry Potter even though at sixteen, Tom Riddle KNOWS about the sacrifice spell/power of love?

Yeah. Tries to kill Harry. Because to Tom, Harry is the Bogeyman, he is Fear, he is the Grim Reaper, he is Tom's destiny, he is Death.

Voldemort is terrified of him; he is the number-one priority.

Tom has poor impulse control. Someone who makes this kind of mistake can't do long-term planning like that, IMO.

CM: By the time we get to Harry Potter’s canon, it is now only a minority that are anti-muggleborn, and they’re perceived as raving lunatics. Nobody wants to be grouped with these people. Which, just goes to show, how much Voldemort rattles the wizarding world in a very small amount of time.

This is true, but I don't think it's by design in the least. I don't think Tom cares for the fate of Muggle-borns, or anyone but himself.

Exhibit A: Tom is a selfish prick.

Yes, sometimes Tom is rational. He is often rational.

But he is very, very far from infallible. It isn't because Tom is 'crazy.' We all do irrational things and act on emotion rather than thinking things through.

Hanging Billy's rabbit was not rational. Releasing the basilisk, though it required strategy and precision and attention to detail, was not rational. Killing Myrtle to make a Horcrux because he has a pathological fear of death was not rational. Killing the Riddles was not rational.

To reason that murder is rational, you have to be operating on very flawed logic, a very flawed worldview, or both.

When he is in pain, he wants everyone else to be in pain, too. When he is scared, he wants the world to share his nightmares of the Reaper coming to collect his soul.

In short, Tom's pattern of poor impulse control and terrible planning makes it hard for me to believe he could pull off CM's version of events. Sure, he'd like to knock everyone off their pedestal, but... I don't think it was his main concern.

Tom is a generally very frustrated person. That much, everyone can agree on.

What I can't fathom, is why start a war? It's an odd style of revenge.

Here's what CM suggests:

CM: Given the results we see, that more than any others it seems to be the purebloods and often Tom’s own followers that suffer colossal losses, I think Tom’s actions are, in part, a means of vengeance against the entire damn wizarding world (but especially the purebloods).

Who the hell is Lord Voldemort, anyway?

But I must wonder if Lord Voldemort, with his yew-and-phoenix wand (which carries heavy symbolism of immortality and rebirth) and almost deified figure is meant to be a personification of Death himself? His name, Lord Voldemort, is a shade close to Lord Death.

In Part 5, I come to the amusing conclusion that Voldemort is Persephone. Deal with it.

But in all seriousness, I think Lord Voldemort is originally Tom's private coping mechanism/alter ego invented while at Hogwarts -- the greatest sorcerer of all time, a foreign Dark Lord who looks down upon the likes of Abraxas Malfoy.

Here's how it might have went down.

Once he's sufficiently changed his appearance, he decides to take the Voldemort persona out for a spin with the pureblood crowd, flaunts his charm and leadership skills, and chats his blood purity bullshit.

And they eat it up. Voldemort is a hit.

So, once he's turned down from the Defence position, perhaps Tom decides to see just how far he can go with this. How much he can humiliate and enslave these people who treated him like scum.

His life is meaningless. He's going to live forever, but the world is worthless and he hates everything and everyone in it. He installs a puppet minister, because he can't be bothered, he has no interest in ruling the damn world anyway. World Takeover was never the plan.

In fact, Tom doesn't have a plan.

CM: He makes fools of these people, brands them as his slaves, and has them participate in the most over the top ridiculous rituals (the cloaks, the masks, the entire theatrics of it feels like Tom got drunk one night and planned this whole thing out).

And so, I think Voldemort's not the Big Bad, but nor is he an iconoclastic, cloak-and-dagger chessmaster revolutionary. However, the fame, the veneer of being the Big Bad goes to his head, and not really having an identity of his own, I think Tom starts to believe his own hype, right up until the point where he gets killed by a fifteen-month-old.

CM: Basically, I think by the time the series begins Tom is fueled by a nihilist rage that knows no bounds. But dammit all, the wizarding world is going to burn.

Yeah. I'm still not satisfied and Voldemort's motives are unclear. But this is probably the closest you can get.

[dayables]

I'm glad you liked my yttd ramble the other day hahsjshsj. And I have some more stuff to say because this game lives rent free in my head.

I love the writing and storytelling from kimi ga shine, I really do but I think the way the later half of the second main game is structured, from a narrative point of view is kinda misleading. The whole focus of the last bit, with the Kanna vs Shin argument is on Kanna. Shin feels unsure and ungrounded so he resorts to interrupting her and abandons his calculated and calm facade he had until that point, which makes sense in a character point of view because it shows how he reacts when he is truly cornered. But it doesn't make sense considering afterwards the game clearly wants you to vote him. Honestly after playing the logic route the first time, the emotion route feels like a fever dream. It's all unicorns and rainbows and is such a contrast to the other option I wonder why we even had a choice in the first place. Unless further down the line there is some type of plot twist where our hope and optimism in the emotion route is punished I don't see why the game pushes so hard to make us feel guilty of killing Kanna in the Shin route. Honestly, after playing a chapter 3 full of internal conflict from Sara and other characters reacting to the traumatic nature of their situation, they seem so naive in the emotion route, idk if I'm explaining myself well enough. Like we fall into this weird bit where they will "for sure make it out alive" and Sara is determined to "bring everyone to safety", everything is "totally gonna be okay" and it just seems so... off? It makes no sense for them to think that right now, especially not after a failed escape attempt and seeing the way the floormasters and dolls can interfere with the game like Gashu did. (And knowing that even if they can take off their collars they will just be killed for desobying the rules from Shin's death)

On Kanna's death "cut scene" Sara literally thinks, and I quote "We need Sou to escape... / I... chose logic... / The worst possible choice..." what???? literally how? The whole point of this choice is that no matter which one it will always be a morally grey answer, there isn't a right or wrong here because either way you're killing one of your allies. And going back to the way the second main game is structured: the focus is all on Kanna so having Shin's death be the final arch for his character seems a bit out of touch. If we wanted that to be his big finale, if he's the one we're supposed to listen to, then why isn't he the one speaking for the majority of the time? The end of the discussion part is all about Kanna, Kanna's sacrifice, her whole speech about Kai's values and hope to defy the game and escape as a group, Kanna's wish to save Sou and Sara like she couldn't save her sister. Then why is listening the Kanna the worst choice? I think they were going for a "double final arch" per say, so you could in fact choose any of the two endings and still have a satisfactory conclusion but why did they have to push so hard afterwards for Shin's death to be "the right choice?". If that's just Sara's guilt speaking why doesn't she feel the same way (or at least the tiniest bit remorseful) for Shin?

And I know it's another level to the whole logic vs emotion, you either get a more satisfying narrative or a happier one but I don't think it had to be that different you know? That and the way the two deaths are handled makes it clear (even if unintentionally) that Nankidai gives priority to the emotion route. And when you can see that to this degree it makes me wonder why is this even a choice in the first place?

In conclusion, I seriously hope the emotion vs logic route isn't the thing that leads the player to a good vs bad ending. Or at least that it isn't as predictable as it seems right now, because if we are doomed right from the moment we chose to save Shin... idk it seems like a cheaper alternative to just have "save the child" as the objectively better ending. And again, I would personally make it so that the whole hero trope, happy-go-lucky nature of the characters in the emotion route would crumble somewhere during the final chapter, they can still have a happy ending but at least make it so that there are some consequences for choosing Kanna over Shin, literally anything at all. Them being suddenly almost unfazed by the deaths of their past allies is so out there it seems completely out of character. Like you said, Sara's stress doesn't come only from Joe's death and Shin's existence, it comes from leading a group of people to almost certain death, why is that no longer a problem? And if the difference between saving Kanna or Shin is more world building and knowledge later on then that needs to be a bigger difference between the routes because right now it's just Kanna good, Shin bad.

Anyways this turned out super long again but I just have. a lot of thoughts. I really do like Nankidai's storytelling, he does a very good job at it but when it comes to this? I think he made some questionable choices, I hope it becomes less linear in the future.

:DDD 

Once again, this is my thoughts explained so well, so I’m going to expand with my thoughts :)

First off,   the game clearly wants you to vote him. is very true. Shin’s death is nearly too perfect. Happy ending, a character arc wrapped up in a bow, constant praise for killing Shin and an even happier next part. A fever dream is the perfect way to describe the emotional route after playing logic  first. Everything about it, seems so off. 

What tipped me off, what really tipped me off, was Kanna’s  reaction to We hin’s death. Especially when compared to Shin’s. Whether or not it’s healthy is debatable but it is at the very least co-dependant. Kanna was manipulated by Shin. Whether or not she cared for him the same way he cared for her* is up for debate. 

*(we don’t have nearly enough context for a clear cut on her motives for her actions in part 2. Shin seems to be more concerned about saving Kanna specifically, while Kanna wants to save everyone including Shin. This can be linked back to her feelings of worthless. Yes, Shin is special to her, she mentions him and Sara. However, if they had not gotten close, Kanna likely would have made the same choice) 

Kanna, almost didn’t seem to care that he died, that everyone else might die (from her own perception of what could happen). For someone who is wrecked by grief and death so much, she’s, just as happy as everyone else? It’s so out of character that she isn’t a teeny bit distressed. 

See, the oh so happy attitude, part can be played off to Sara no longer being swallowed by self-loathing over Joe. She believes she can do it, and that will drastically affect how the part plays out. Yes, that is not where all her issues stem from. But, even that small weight could make all the difference in those moments.  I’m okay with that because Sara is allowed to be unreliable. It’s the others reactions. Everyone is just like her. It’s so surreal how everyone seems have gotten their own Joe AI through someone's death?

The narrative actively pushes that choosing Kanna is the better thing to do logically, while killing Shin is foolish and a choice made from emotions. We are pushed to kill Kanna then rewarded when we save her. It’s all so jumbled. It’s all so wrong. Now from a story telling perspective, it is okay to reward us for listening to our hearts. My issue with the emotional route isn’t that it’s one big happy family, (because how much of that is Sara believing that?). It’s the concept it’s pushed to be better, happier and the ending you want.  

As you said: Why is killing Shin a choice if it’s so bad? 

Is it to give the player an illusion of choice? 

It makes the emotion route so fever dreamish after finishing the emotion route. So jumbled. It makes it less satisfying but I believe it is for a reason. 

Right now everything is too linear. We either have the most important player in this game dead, or against us. It’s not like the Reko/Alice choice. This was so major, so why is it so linear? 

It’s unnerving, how happy the game is when the exact same thing is happening but bleaker when you save Shin. 

It’s terrifying. Everything is the exact same, but it’s not. And it’s something i’ve seen no one else who played emotion first get. Because I don’t know if you can exactly grasp how unnerving their happiness is (I obviously didn’t play emotion first but I’ve never seen anyone point it out despite most of tumblr playing emotion first) at first.

I am terrified of the emotional route for their being nothing bad. Because they’re are bad things and good things. in the logic route. 

Why is one route so happy and the other realistic? Why Nankadai? Why? 

I have belief that this is purposeful. I believe a game that creates dread so easily (look at how we’re all terrified of main games, Midori, part 3b)  and horror (just look at the deaths) is not creating the terror unintentionally. Especially when it’s so easy to miss. 

The fact it can be taken down to Kanna good, Shin bad, is a build-up for a crash. This game built up Kai surviving longer than the first game so well and look at how that went. It takes one slip and the happiness of emotion crashes down like glass. The logic route does not need to end happier, but all Shin needs is a push and the bleakness of Logic cannot hold up. 

These routes are resting on a needle. It takes so many mistakes (more than can be made in a single route) to unintentionally put them there. 

There is a lot of room for this to go wrong. You’re right, it’s bad writing right now for the routes that are so linear to be so different. It’s worrying, jumbled and does not make sense. I agree with you! The choices here are questionable. ^^, I just believe these are purposeful, especially when we don’t know what’s coming next 

[amberenigma]

omg, Big Blue, that's adorable. XD I'll go look at Corebenik later! I'm still figuring out how she'd react to Epitaphs/Phases since she seemed to have forgiven them all so... gotta think on it. I am super curious as to how you view Ovan's hacking and how he got into the Creator's Room!

I usually don’t post my PMs all that publicly but since you asked and I haven’t actually posted on this, I’m gonna go hard. YAY SPONTANEOUS HEADCANON RAMBLING.

so let’s begin at the first part: ovan’s hacking.

i like to think part of his old job was to be a whitehat hacker--basically just someone who hacks for the benefit of others and not for themselves. it’s a popular title in cyber security for those that do stuff along the lines of penetration testing and such. if we go really far back, masato worked as an investigator for the NAB, which is essentially GU’s World Network Commission. acronyms aside, both institutions essentially regulate the net, which, as far as we’re concerned, masato’s had access to all these fun tools and add-ons that are used by both whitehat and blackhat hackers. personally, i like to think of masato as a grayhat--he’s obviously broken the rules of conduct at the nab just by dicking around with his character as far as we can assume, but he’s never had criminal intent. 

now, admittedly, i’m pretty biased based on my profession as a software engineer and as a student who gets to take some fun ( HA. ) cyber security courses this year before i graduate. that being said, from a business perspective, he broke the nab’s code of ethics for sure, and what the fuck was he thinking using this on the most popular mmo? that being said, he was an investigator, and we don’t know exactly what he was investigating in the first place, or if it had anything to do with za warudo at all. if any of the three were correlated, then it’s a different story--chalk it up as a necessary action; as long as he’s procuring information he needs for his actual tasks, his personal curiosity can be easily accounted for without a second glance.

that’s fuckin’ smart imo. you fuckin’ go, dude.

alright, so that takes us to the second part: how the fuck did he get into the creator’s room.

this might get seriously technical--as i said, really biased, and i threw a god awful amount of money at learning this sort of stuff. i better be able to hypothesize something.

so if we think about how those tri-edge marks work:

^ dis shit. there’s something sort of black box-y about these that aren’t really explained at all in the games, and if they’re mentioned in the archives, i can’t translate it myself. but, my professionally unprofessional guess is that these marks have the address of the outer dungeon stored in them--that being said, the outer dungeons are potentially just some fucky, uninitialized place of memory that’s live on the internet ( or some shit idk ) that players can still technically access if they have the location of that segment of memory. it’s a fair place players can still play the game in--riddled in anomalies of course, because it’s not maintained by system security. following this train of thought, if we’re looking at contiguous memory, the outer dungeons are just filling in between places that actually exist as a key word series. visually, it would follow as just [lost ground A] | [outer dungeon] | [lost ground b] | ... |. buuut since we don’t really know, i’m just tossing some shit around tbh.

my guess, with the creator’s room specifically, he probably found it via one of those wonderful tools i mentioned before. like a real pointer in code, you can set it to anything you want to--and if it’s legal by the programming language standard, it’s fair game. we know that most of r:1′s data was burnt to a crisp, but not all of it--the creator’s room is most likely part of that surviving remainder. this is dipping into even more speculative territory, but my guess is that cc corp didn’t completely rewrite how maps in za warudo work, or how to access them, or what they even contained. reusing code is a standard practice, and game devs are no exception. for ovan, it was a matter of finding some of those locations somewhere buried in the game. it’s sorta like following a trail--just keep looking at where these fun pointers go until something interesting pops up or it ends somewhere.