#i'm just fully in the period shits and getting emotional
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chilling vibing getting stuff done and then suddenly getting hit by 'why do you try so hard to make something new and good and bend yourself backwards pushing for quality when that stuff is mostly discouraged and low effort quantity-over-quality stuff is constantly rewarded'
#life#was on a high after writing quite a bit today#but now feel like a deflating balloon lmao#like yeah nah yeah i've worked with social media enough to know that you have to play 'their' game in order to 'succeed'#but that whole premise is so soulless and yet#it's the shit paradox that most often the less time and effort you put into something the more likely it will do good online#but with constantly diminishing returns it can get pretty tough#like the pattern is there it's all in motion#and it's just gonna get worse and worse and worse#people barely reblog anymore barely comment#i started posting my writing because i thought 'well at least one person might like it!'#like... i cannot NOT write it's just who i am#but even with the folders full of personal writing and whatnot at some point i stopped#because writing is just incredibly lonely and it was starting to make me feel worse about it so i stopped#but yeah nah fam#i'm just fully in the period shits and getting emotional#but the ongoing decline of engagement and communication is just sad to see#like even artists around me who are incredibly talented i see them barely get any notes and if they do it's pretty much all likes#shit's depressing fam#and then on top of that we have people stealing shit from us#like that fucking guy who copied every bg3 creator's ideas and then started playing victim when called out#what was up with that lmao
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Katsuki gets caught being sweet to you.
You started to finally catch your breath being at the top of the hiking trail Katsuki had dragged you out too.
"Alright there, it's just us up here so tell me already. What the hell has been going on?"
"That's why you brought me out here?" You asked.
"Just tell me already, stop being so damn stubborn." He pried you impatiently.
"I told you I'm fine Bakugo, just busy like everyone else." You replied.
"Don't give me that shit. Do you think I'm stupid? The other extras are too dense to notice but I can see how exhausted you've been this whole week. So just tell me- what's going on," He said.
"You didn't need to drag me out here on a hike in freezing weather to do this, you know," You said, slightly irritated at Katsuki continuing to push you.
"Ugh- will you stop stalling and talk already," He yelled, causing you to let out an annoyed sigh. Katsuki put his hands in his pockets and looked out at the view, his demeanor softening slightly. "You can talk to me, you know," he added, his voice lower and kinder than before.
You stayed looking at the view for a few more moments trying to figure out how to unpack everything that had been stressing you out. It wasn't like some big thing, but a summation of a bunch of little things that were beginning to become too challenging to manage.
A cold breeze blew by causing you to shiver. You wondered why Katsuki had insisted on bringing you up this mountain to talk to you. He could have pestered you in your dorm where it was warm.
Katsuki stole glances at you occasionally then focused back on the view not wanting to intimidate you too much from his glare. Hiking always helped him to clear his mind and gather his thoughts when they seemed too loud. He thought maybe it would help you too, and being away from all your classmates might make it easier for you to talk to him. At the very least it made it easier for Katsuki to be more vulnerable with you. He found it too daunting to express himself fully with all the attention of his classmates around. It was much easier being only in your company.
You took a deep breath, "I guess- it's just been hard to balance everything recently," You finally spoke, breaking the silence. Katsuki made it easy to open up to, as he had no problem sitting in silence for long extended periods. Others in your life felt the need to fill that silence with useless chatter which always prevented you from sitting in your emotions and being able to formulate them into words.
You took in another breath feeling a lump in your throat form. You hadn't wanted to talk to anyone about what was going on for fear of opening up the flood of emotions and not being able to stop. Now here it was. You didn't want to cry on this fucking hill.
Katsuki patiently waited while you gathered your thoughts.
"It's just been so much and I've been barely keeping up. It's- been getting to me recently. I've been forgetting things I shouldn't. Being unusually upset at things that aren't that big of a deal- and I just- it's dumb." You cut yourself off afraid to say anymore.
"It's not dumb. Don't hold that shit in, it's not healthy," He said encouraging you to keep talking.
You sighed, "I just... know that it could be way worse, and I've been through way worse so- I feel so irritated at myself. What I'm going through now isn't something I can't handle. I know that. So why do I feel so fucking exhausted with everything," You replied wiping a stray tear from your cheek.
"Hmm," Katsuki grunted, processing what you said. "You know, it's ok to be tired, and- to not be perfect. You can't just deny yourself from feeling overwhelmed because it could be worse. If you're exhausted now then those feelings are real- and it's ok to have them," He spoke.
You looked down at the view watching the distant cars pass, "Thanks," You managed to say taking another deep breath.
"You shouldn't wait to handle them until they explode either. Trust me, I know what that's like," He said, causing you to let out a small giggle. "You're too damn hard on yourself you know that?"
You let out a full laugh, "Oh that's pretty good coming from you. You're the pro at having too high expectations for yourself," you laughed.
You and Katsuki were wrapped up in your conversation causing you not to notice approaching classmates in the distance. Mina and Eijiro had also decided to come up the hill after class and spotted both of you in the distance.
"That looks like we shouldn't interrupt," Eijiro said.
"Yeah," Mina agreed. "But maybe... we could get a little closer to make sure everything is ok?" She said, pulling Eijiro into the bushes to spy on you and Katsuki. Eijiro was highly against the plan but was unable to protest for fear of you two hearing.
"Yeah I know I have high expectations for myself... that's why I know what it fucking looks like when you're being too hard on yourself. So- tonight I'm coming to your dorm and, I'm making sure you get to bed at a reasonable fucking time."
Mina's eyes widened as she looked at Eijiro, "Coming to their dorm?!" She whispered, and Eijrio covered her mouth, silencing her.
"You mean Grandpa time at 9 p.m.?"
"Shut up! 9 p.m. is late as hell! You damn idiots just don't know how to have a good sleep schedule! Look I'm making sure you get some sleep and tomorrow I'm taking you out. So- figure out where you want to eat, I don't care where. And I'm not letting you say no you need a break," Katsuki replied.
"You don't have to do that Bakugo."
"Of course, I don't have to but, I want to. So just shut up and let me take care of you ok. You better not be afraid to order enough food this time either! I'm buying so- just get whatever you want, alright?"
"Ok ok," You laughed, feeling your mood brighten.
"Next time, just tell me when you're having a bad day or something. Stop making me drag it out of you. I- worry about you, you know? Now let's go back to the dorms. I see you shivering," He said, beginning to walk back down the hill.
Mina squirmed again under Eijiro's hand, keeping her silent. Her eyes said it all. She was in disbelief at Katsuki's words.
"Here," Katsuki said, holding his hand out and offering it to you. "I'll warm your hand with my quirk," he said.
You grabbed his hand interlacing your fingers with his.
"Don't dare say anything about how sweaty my hands are!" He barked.
You giggled, "How many times do I have to tell you I don't care Bakugo. It's part of your quirk, and your quirk is amazing you shouldn't be self-conscious about it. Besides, I'm always happy to hold your hand," You said as you two walked down the mountain.
"Tch whatever," Katsuki grumbled looking away from you as a small tint grew on his cheeks.
Finally, when you and Katsuki were far enough down the hill, Eijiro released Mina.
"WHAT WAS THAT?!?" Mina exclaimed.
"Shh shhh," Eijiro pleaded.
"WHAT- He wants to take care of them?!? OH MY GOD! They are totally dating right?! That's what he said he's taking them out to eat! And he's sneaking into their dorm! Wait wait- when they held hands it sounded like that had before! AND AND BAKUGO WAS TOTALLY BLUSHING! NO WAY!" Mina said looking like she might pass out from all this information.
"Ashido relax, we shouldn't have heard any of that!" Eijiro replied.
"Yeah but but-" Mina exclaimed, her head spinning. "Who knew Baklugo could actually be so sweet! I can't wait to tell Jiro-" She said, pulling out her phone.
"NO!" Eijiro said, grabbing her phone from her. "Uh- sorry, I didn't mean to be so harsh but- you can't tell anyone what we heard ok?" Eijiro said.
"WHAT?! I just heard Bakugo being the sweetest boyfriend ever and you expect me not to say anything about that?!"
"YES!" Eijiro yelled. "Look they both like their privacy and there is a reason they were all the way up here talking, Ashido. I think we should keep this a secret and let them do things at their own pace ok?" He said, handing Mina back her phone.
"UGH-" She exclaimed letting out a big sigh. "I guess you're right... but wow who would have thought Bakugo could be a decent person much less a good boyfriend." She said.
Eijiro just shrugged at her words, "I don't know he's not a bad guy like you all make him out to be you know."
"Wait! You totally already knew didn't you!" Mina said, slapping Eijiro's shoulder.
"Hey! I mean- Bakugo is my best friend you know, so yeah I did..." He answered truthfully.
"You suck! Keeping secrets like that from me!" Mina said playfully, waving a finger at him.
"I'm sorry, but it's their business you know?" He said.
"Yeah I understand, guess we should go back to the dorms too now," Mina suggested.
"Yeah it is pretty cold up here, let's go." He agreed as they both started to walk down the hill. "I don't have Bakugo's quirk or anything but- if you're cold you can hold my hand too if you want," Eijiro suggested.
Mina's face tinted a darker pink as she reached out and grabbed Eijiro's hand.
Tags: @unofficialmuilover @maddietries
Picture taken from @everypanelofkatsuki, thank you for all your hard work! Go check them out if you haven’t!
#katsuki fanfic#katsuki x reader#katsuki fluff#katsuki bakugo x reader#katsuki x y/n#katsuki x you#bakugo x reader#katsuki bakugo#mha bakugo x reader#bakugo x self insert#bakugo x you#bakugo x y/n#bakugo x gender neutral reader#bakugou x reader#mha bakugou#bakugou x you#bakugo katuski#mha x y/n#mha x you#mha x reader#mha x gender neutral reader#bnha x y/n#bnha x self insert#bnha x gender neutral reader#bnha x you#bnha x reader
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My Sunshine
Part 1 - rewrite of the original
Warnings - pregnancy, flirting, verbal abuse, gaslighting, slight mention of prostitution, unwanted pregnancy, abortion, crying, banana muffins
a:n I'm so in love with the way that this came out, I could literally faint. I want to this man. ferally. In the most respectful way that I can put it. Had me giggling like a SLUT. Like look at that face, come on..
Masterlist Link
GIF by jonasiegenthaler
Summary: Y/N reminisces about her past, the faint memory of her hateful mother as reality starts to really sink in. Along comes jack and his giddy smile, eager to get to know our dear sunshine.
Word Count ~ 4k
1 month later
10:00am
The doctor's voice cuts through the heavy silence, their tone professional yet laced with a hint of warmth. "While we wait for the results, can you tell me the date of your last menstrual period and any potential dates of conception?"
Y/N takes a deep, steadying breath, her mind instantly transported back to the haunting echoes of her mother's cruel words. The memories feel so visceral, as if the scenes are playing out before her eyes once more.
"I wish one day, you could see why I raised you the way I did. You're so weak, gullible, and always so goddamn sensitive. It's pathetic, really." Her mother's voice drips with disdain, the familiar sting of her judgement cutting deep.
Y/N can practically feel the weight of her mother's disapproving stare, the contempt burning in her eyes. "Just like your useless father, y/n. You've never been and will never be good enough, not like me."
"You will need me one day, when you have a baby, you're gonna wish I was the one there helping you, holding your hand. But I won't be, because you've always been a disappointment, a burden I never wanted." The thought of facing motherhood without the unwavering support she so desperately craves fills Y/N with dread.
"I hate you, y/n, and I wish I would've gotten rid of you when I had the chance. I never regretted anything more than letting your useless father talk me into keeping you. I lost my whole life raising you - I slaved and sold myself to put food on the table, all for you ungrateful little shits." The bitterness in her mother's voice is palpable, a raw wound that has never fully healed.
Forcing the memories to the back of her mind, Y/N provides the doctor with the requested information to the best of her recollection.
A knot forms in her stomach as the details flow from her lips, a painful reminder of the intimate moments with Jason - moments that had once filled her with such joy and hope, but now only serve to heighten her anxiety.
The doctor nods, jotting down the notes on their clipboard. They continue the conversation, their tone gentle and understanding, offering Y/N a sense of comfort in the midst of the emotional turmoil.
After what feels like an eternity, they excuse themselves to check on the test results. The room falls silent, save for the ticking of the clock – each second a countdown to the life-changing news that awaits Y/N.
When the doctor returns, they have a file in hand. Taking a seat beside Y/N, they meet her gaze, their expression softening with a warmth that puts her at ease, even as her heart races in anticipation.
"Y/N," they begin gently, their voice filled with empathy, "the urine test came back positive for hCG. Congratulations, you're pregnant." The doctor pauses, studying Y/N's face for a moment before continuing. "I understand this may be an overwhelming time, but I want you to know that we're here to support you every step of the way."
Y/N feels her breath catch in her throat, the news hitting her like a physical blow.
Part of her had hoped, prayed, that the results would be negative, that the at home test she took a few weeks ago were wrong, that she wouldn't have to face the daunting prospect of motherhood, especially without Jason's support.
But now, as the reality of her situation sinks in, she can't help but feel utterly alone, trapped in the shadow of her mother's cruelty. Following down the same path she did when she was 18 but only she was 23, grown, and by herself.
"What am I going to do?" she whispers, tears falling to the ground.
A sudden movement in front of her face snapped Y/N out of her trance, her body jolting in response. "I'm sorry," she blurted out, hastily wiping the tears from her eyes.
The doctor slid back onto his stool, a warm smile on his face as he handed her a stack of pamphlets. "I’m very happy for you," he said, mistaking her tears for joy. "Here are some resources for young mothers. I know this must be an exciting, but overwhelming time. Please don't hesitate to reach out if you have any questions or concerns."
Y/N stared at the man, momentarily confused, until the reality of the situation came crashing back.
…
11:30am
Y/N stood in line at 'The Brew' coffee shop, the warm, inviting aroma of freshly brewed coffee enveloping her like a comforting embrace, soft Russian music playing over the stereo. The rich scent of roasted beans mingled with the subtle sweetness of vanilla and caramel, instantly lifting her spirits.
As she waited patiently, her eyes wandered to the man next to her, who seemed lost in thought. He was engrossed in a conversation on his phone, his brow furrowed in concentration, creating a series of deep lines that etched themselves into his forehead.
He shuffled his feet nervously, the movement causing the light to catch on the polished leather of his shoes. His gaze flickered to the menu before him, a brief moment of indecision flashing across his face, and Y/N found herself wondering what could be troubling him.
Unable to resist the urge to learn more, she stole a glance at him, admiring the way the soft, golden light of the café danced across his features. The angles of his jawline were sharp and defined, a stark contrast to the soft, inviting curve of his lips that seemed to beckon her closer.
As if sensing her gaze, he suddenly turned, and their eyes met. In that instant, the world seemed to slow down, the bustling noise of the café fading into the background as Y/N was enveloped in a moment of pure connection. His eyes, a mesmerizing blue, held her captive, sparkling with a hint of mischief that ignited a spark within her.
A confident smile spread across his face, and he leaned away slightly, speaking into the phone. “Alright Lukey, I gotta go.”
"Hey, you're my neighbor, right?" he asked, the recognition evident in his tone. "You live on Baker Street?"
Y/N blinked, surprised by his sudden acknowledgment. "Yes, I do."
Yet, as she spoke, Y/N felt her shyness begin to melt away, like frost under the warmth of his unwavering gaze. There was a magnetic pull to this stranger, an allure that she found herself inexplicably drawn to.
"I'm Jack," he said, extending his hand towards her. His movements were fluid and graceful, his arm cutting through the space between them with a sense of purpose.
As he reached out, Y/N couldn't help but notice the way his fingers flexed, the tendons in his hand shifting beneath his skin like the strings of a finely tuned instrument.
Hesitating for only a moment, Y/N slipped her hand into his, relishing the gentle firmness of his grip. "It's nice to meet you, Jack," she replied, a hint of a smile playing at the corners of her mouth as she held his gaze, unwilling to be the first to break the connection.
He leaned against the counter, his gaze locked on Y/N, as if she was the only person in the crowded coffee shop. "I've been wondering when I'd get the chance to officially introduce myself."
Y/N felt her cheeks flush with heat, suddenly keenly aware of his undivided attention. "I, um, I'm not usually one for small talk," she admitted, her words coming out in a flustered jumble.
Jack chuckled, the sound low and rich. "Lucky for you, I more than make up for that." He flashed her a dazzling smile, his blue eyes sparkling with mischief. "I'm quite the chatterbox, as I'm sure you're about to find out."
Caught off guard by his confidence, Y/N found herself relaxing, drawn in by his easy charm. As the line moved forward, she fell into step beside him, her shoulders brushing against his as they approached the counter.
"So, what's your order of choice?" Jack asked, his gaze sweeping over the menu. "I'm a bit of a coffee connoisseur myself."
Y/N blinked, momentarily flustered by his proximity. "Um, usually anything caramel flavored, I think," she replied, her voice barely above a whisper. “I’m leaning towards tea today though.”
Jack's lips curved into a grin. "Excellent choice. A classic, just like you."
"Can I have a banana muffin? And whatever she's getting, we're together." Jack said, flashing the barista a charming smile.
The barista nodded, punching in the order as Y/N stood there, momentarily stunned by Jack's gesture. She managed to give a small smile, her heart pounding erratically in her chest.
"After you," Jack said, gesturing towards the pickup counter. He placed a gentle hand on the small of her back, guiding her forward.
Y/N felt a shiver run down her spine at his touch, her nerves alight. As they waited for their order, Jack turned to her, his sapphire eyes sparkling. “Just a green tea please. And a banana muffin too.” She added, meeting jack’s eyes for a second.
"Such a gentleman," y/n teased. Jack laughed, flashing her a wink. He turned towards the seating area, gesturing for Y/N to follow. "Come on, let's find a cozy spot."
Y/N felt herself being drawn along by his infectious energy, her feet moving almost of their own accord as she trailed behind him. He led them to a small table by the window, pulling out a chair for her before taking a seat across from her.
She didn’t know what to do with herself as she took the seat he offered, settling in across from him. The way he was looking at her, with such open curiosity and intrigue, made her heart race.
"So, Y/N, tell me - what brings you to this fine establishment on this lovely day?" Jack asked, leaning back in his chair and regarding her with a playful smile.
Y/N felt herself relax slightly under his warm gaze. "Just my usual coffee run, nothing too exciting," she admitted shyly.
"Ah, but any day that starts with a chance encounter like this is anything but ordinary," Jack countered, his eyes twinkling. "You've got nowhere else to be, right? No urgent errands or appointments calling your name?"
Y/N shook her head, a small smile playing on her lips. "No, nothing pressing that I can think of."
"Excellent." Jack leaned forward, his elbows resting on the table as he studied her intently. "Then you won't mind if I take the opportunity to learn more about the mysterious neighbor from Baker Street?"
…
Jack's eyes crinkled with delight as the barista arrived with their order, setting down a steaming latte in front of Y/N and a banana muffin alongside it.
"Ah, perfect timing," he said, flashing the barista a grateful smile. The scent of the baked treat mingled with the rich aroma of coffee, creating a tantalizing combination that did little to calm her already frazzled nerves.
Glancing down at her phone, she quickly typed out a message to her friend Heather, her fingers trembling slightly. 'You're never going to believe this, but this unbelievably gorgeous guy just bought me a coffee and we're sitting at a table together! I'm honestly freaking out right now - I have no idea what to do.'
She hit send, her fingers trembling slightly as she placed the phone back on the table, unsure of what to do next.
Y/N couldn't help but sneak a peek at Jack, who was leaning back in his chair, a warm smile playing on his lips as he took a contemplative sip of his own coffee. The way the morning light danced across his striking features only served to heighten his already captivating presence.
"So, Y/N, what do you do for a living?" he asked, his gaze warm and curious. "I have a feeling there's more to you than just your 'usual coffee run'." His gaze latched back onto hers, his eyes sparkling with genuine curiosity.
Y/N felt heat rise to her cheeks at his words, both flattered and flustered by his obvious interest. "Well, I, uh, I sometimes write for a sports magazine," she stammered, her heart fluttering erratically. "And I'm also working on a couple of novels in my spare time."
Jack's face lit up with delight, and he leaned forward, his elbows resting on the table as he studied her intently. "A writer, huh? That's incredibly impressive. What kind of sports do you cover?"
"A little bit of everything, really," Y/N replied, slowly beginning to relax under the warmth of his gaze. "But I do have a particular fondness for hockey as of recently. There's just something about the intensity of the game that I find absolutely captivating. The fighting, the crowd, just a mix of all of it."
"Hockey, you say?" Jack's eyes gleamed with unbridled enthusiasm. "Well, as it happens, I'm a bit of a hockey player myself. I actually play for the Jersey Devils as a defenseman."
Y/N's eyes widened in genuine surprise, her earlier nerves temporarily forgotten. "What! Well, tell me about it. Do you enjoy it?"
Jack chuckled, the rich sound sending a shiver down Y/N's spine. "Well, then I'd be more than happy to regale you with tales of my hockey exploits." He leaned in closer, his voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper. "But only if you promise to share some of your own stories in return."
She extended her pinky, a silent invitation, waiting for him to entwine his with hers, sealing their promise in a tender gesture.
Jack gently raised his hand to the table, his eyes fixed on hers, as he tenderly entwined his larger pinky with hers, sealing their promise with a heartfelt gesture.
The two fell into an easy conversation, trading stories and sharing their passions. Y/N found herself captivated by Jack's easy charm and infectious enthusiasm, and before long, the lunch rush began to fill the coffee shop.
"Maybe I should let you get back to your day," Y/N said reluctantly, glancing around at the growing crowd, a twinge of disappointment tugging at her heart.
But Jack's eyes held a glimmer of pleading, and he reached across the table, his fingers brushing against hers in a gesture that sent electricity coursing through her veins.
"Or you could stay a little longer?" he suggested, his voice low and hopeful. "I'm quite enjoying our chat, and I'd hate for it to end so soon."
Y/N hesitated, her heart palpitating in its cage. This was all so unexpected, but there was something about Jack that made her want to throw caution to the wind.
Taking a deep breath, she offered him a shy smile, her nerves and excitement mingling in equal measure. "You know, I think I'd like that. And maybe, if you're free sometime, we could, um, grab dinner?"
Jack's face lit up with a dazzling smile. "I'd love nothing more," he said, quickly pulling out his phone. "Here, let me give you my number. I can't wait to take you out."
As Jack typed away, Y/N felt a surge of giddiness. This was all so new and exciting, and she couldn't help but wonder where this chance encounter might lead. One thing was certain, though – she was more than ready to find out.
Jack made her feel - seen, heard, and utterly captivated.
…
14:00 pm
I debated including this, but I felt so giddy and in love with writing I couldn’t help it. I’m just a sucker for some pure love.
***A gentle breeze caressed her face, carrying with it the scent of springtime The world around her seemed to burst with vibrant color - the lush, verdant hues of the trees, their leaves rustling softly in the breeze.
The myriad shades of pink and purple adorning the blooming flowers that lined the sidewalk, and the vast, azure sky overhead, dotted with wispy clouds that danced languidly across the heavens.
It was as if the entire city had been painted with a master's brush, each detail a testament to nature's radiant beauty.
Reaching into her bag, she pulled out her camera, her fingers trembling with excitement as she began to weave through the bustling streets.
In the nearby park, she captured the laughter of happy families, their faces aglow with pure, unadulterated joy as they swung gleefully on the playground or tossed a Frisbee back and forth, their movements fluid and carefree.
Further down the path, a lonely man sat on a bench, tossing a well-worn tennis ball to his faithful canine companion. As the dog bounded after it, his tail wagging furiously, a warm smile spread across the man's face, his eyes crinkling with a contentment that seemed to radiate outwards, touching all who witnessed the tender exchange.
Y/N couldn't resist the urge to capture these fleeting moments, her camera shutter clicking rapidly as she sought to preserve the beauty that surrounded her.
Every step she took seemed to reveal another breathtaking sight - a young couple sharing a picnic lunch on the lush, verdant grass, their bodies intertwined as they leaned into one another's embrace, and a group of elderly friends chatting animatedly on a park bench, their laughter carrying on the gentle breeze.
Each snapshot felt like a love letter to the world, Y/N's heart swelled with a sense of wonder, her steps light and airy as she continued her walk home.
With each snapshot she captured, she couldn't help but see the reflection of Jack in the scenes that unfolded before her.
The joyful laughter of the families in the park reminded her of the way Jack's eyes had crinkled with delight during their conversation. The lonely man's smile as he played with his dog mirrored the warmth and kindness that Jack had exuded so effortlessly.
And the tender embrace of the picnicking couple evoked the gentle way Jack's fingers had brushed against her own, sending electricity coursing through her veins.
It was as if the entire world had conspired to remind her of the captivating man she had just met, weaving his essence into the very fabric of her surroundings.
Y/N found herself wondering what she and Jack must have looked like, huddled together in the cozy coffee shop, their heads bent close as they shared stories and laughter like old friends.
The thought brought a smile to her lips, and she couldn't help but feel a sense of giddiness at the realization that this chance encounter had the potential to blossom into something truly special. Jack's colors had painted the world around her, and she couldn't wait to see what other hues he might bring into her life.***
…
14:30 pm
Y/N closed the door behind her, the solid wood frame pressing against her back as she leaned into it, letting out a deep, contented breath.
A smile slowly crept across her face, unbidden and unwilling, as she buried her face in her hands, momentarily overcome by the whirlwind of emotions swirling within her.
Slowly, almost reverently, her hands drifted down to her stomach, fingertips gently caressing the barely-there swell that held the promise of new life.
"Maybe this can be good for us," she murmured, her voice barely above a whisper, as if speaking the words aloud would somehow make them more real.
Suddenly, a flash of self-consciousness washed over her, and Y/N felt a flush of embarrassment creeping up her cheeks. Had she really just been giddily daydreaming like some lovestruck schoolgirl?
The moment of levity was short-lived, however, as a familiar voice broke the silence, cutting through the haze of her thoughts.
"You just gonna stand there and be weird, or are you gonna come sit down?" Heather said, a teasing lilt in her tone.
Y/N's head snapped up, a sheepish look crossing her features as she nodded and made her way to the couch, her steps tentative and uncertain. "Sorry, I, uh, I was just..." Her voice trailed off, unsure of how to even begin explaining the maelstrom of emotions that had overtaken her.
Heather watched her fondly, a knowing smile playing on her lips. "You're being strange today," she observed, her tone laced with affection. "But I can't say I'm surprised, considering what you told me earlier."
Y/N could feel the heat rising in her cheeks as she settled onto the cushions, her movements almost cautious, as if she were trying to contain the giddiness that threatened to spill out.
Unable to keep the grin from spreading across her face, she shook her head in a half-hearted attempt to downplay her excitement. "I know, I know," she said, the words tumbling out in a rush. "It's just... I haven’t felt this way in a long time and it’s exciting, you know?"
Heather chuckled, reaching out to give Y/N's hand a gentle squeeze, her eyes crinkling with warmth and understanding. "I can see that.”
…
19:47 pm
Later that night, Y/N ran her fingers lovingly over the smooth surface of her stomach, the gesture almost reverent as she finished her nightly cleansing routine.
Just as she set down her phone, the familiar chime of a new message caught her attention, and a giddy smile instantly blossomed on her face as she saw Jack's name on the screen.
Sinking into the soft cushions of the couch, Y/N eagerly opened the message, her heart fluttering with anticipation.
"Hey there, beautiful," Jack's text read, the words sending a flutter through Y/N's chest. "I was just thinking about you and that lovely smile of yours. How about we make it a date tomorrow night? I know this amazing little Italian place that I think you're going to love."
Y/N's fingers hovered over the screen, poised to type a response, but a twinge of hesitation gripped her. The news of her pregnancy weighed heavily on her mind, a secret that both excited and frightened her in equal measure.
She knew she should tell him, but doubt crept in, insidious and persistent. After all, she and Jack weren't even officially dating yet. Their relationship, while promising, was still new and undefined.
The thought of burdening him with this life-altering news so early on felt unfair, potentially derailing the tender connection they had begun to forge. What if the prospect of fatherhood sent him running?
Shaking off her doubts, Y/N decided to throw caution to the wind. "A date, huh? Well, you certainly know how to sweep a girl off her feet," she typed, adding a flirtatious wink emoji for good measure before hitting send.
Almost immediately, her phone chimed with Jack's response, and Y/N could practically hear the warmth and charm in his voice. "Only the best for my favorite writer," he replied, followed by a string of heart-eyed emojis. "I'll pick you up at 7 sharp. Dress to impress, beautiful."
Y/N couldn't help but grin, a giddiness bubbling up inside her. "It's a date," she replied, adding a playful wink emoji for good measure.
As she set her phone aside, Y/N couldn't help but marvel at the whirlwind of emotions coursing through her.
Just hours ago, she had been a bundle of nerves, unsure of how to navigate this newfound connection. But now, with Jack's invitation in hand, she felt a renewed sense of excitement and possibility.
Sure, the news of her pregnancy was daunting, but she couldn't help but wonder if, just maybe, this could be the start of something truly special.
After all, Jack had already shown himself to be a charming, attentive, and genuinely interested companion. Perhaps, with a little bit of courage, she could find the right moment to share this life-changing news with him.
…
Tag List <3
@fearfam69691 @alwaysclassyeagle, @rebelatbay, @dancerbailey3
@snailss, @dasiysthings, @shawnshoney
#jack hughes#jh86#x reader#jack hughes fanfiction#jack hughes x reader#jack hughes smut#jack hughes fic#jack hughes imagine#nj devils#luke hughes#hughes brothers#dawson mercer#new jersey devils#nhl imagine#nhl hockey#nhl smut#nhl fic#jack hughes fluff#jack hughes blurb#jack hughes x oc#jack hughes x y/n#jack hughes series#jack hughes x you#jack hughes x sister!reader#jack hughes angst#nhl x reader
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Stay With Me
old man logan x fem!reader - angst, set during logan film, logan injured, established relationship, mentions of death, no y/n used, no reader description, hopeful ending
a/n: sorry for writing this shit. i'm emotional rn due to my period and being sick.
Logan comes back injured again and you debate whether you should stay or leave because you can't keep watching him kill himself.
read on Ao3
The blazing sun prickled sweat from your skin as a gust of hot wind swept across the barren landscape, stirring up dust and sand. This was the middle of nowhere—a wasteland, forgotten by the rest of the world—but it was your home now. Isolated, bleak, but safe. At least, it was supposed to be.
Your arms were crossed, eyes scanning the horizon, searching for the familiar black limo. It had been days since you last saw Logan, and the worry gnawing at the pit of your stomach was becoming unbearable. You knew he wasn’t doing well. His healing factor was fading, almost gone, and each time he returned, there were new scars. New wounds that didn’t close as quickly. Grey streaked through his hair now, more prominent with every visit, and his eyes... his once-sharp, steely gaze was dulled by spotty vision.
The question haunted you, whether you wanted to admit it or not—How much longer can he survive like this? Would he even last another year? Another month?
You should’ve been inside, checking on Charles. Instead, you were out here, frozen in place by the gnawing fear that today, Logan wouldn’t return at all. And if he did... how bad would it be this time?
You spotted it just as your mind began to spiral with worst-case scenarios. The black limo, limped along the horizon, dust trailing behind it like a funeral procession. The familiar knot of dread tightened in your chest as you watched the car slowly crawl toward the makeshift home you’d built out here. He had made it back—but something told you this wouldn’t be a quick recovery.
When the limo finally came to a stop, the door creaked open, and Logan practically spilled out onto the cracked earth. Your heart jumped in your throat as you rushed over to him, your feet moving before you could even think. His body was slumped, his clothes torn and stained with blood. Too much blood. You could see the jagged gashes across his arms, his chest, his side. Deep cuts that weren’t healing.
“Logan!” you called out, voice tight with panic as you dropped to your knees beside him.
He groaned, brushing you off with a grunt as he tried to push himself up. “I’m fine,” he rasped, his voice rough and ragged, like gravel scraping together.
“You’re not fine,” you snapped, your hands hovering over his injuries, unsure of where to start. His body was a mess of torn flesh and bruises, the telltale signs of another fight he couldn’t fully walk away from. “Logan, you’re bleeding everywhere.”
Logan let out a pained chuckle, his lips curling into a grimace. “It’s just a scratch, darlin’.”
You glared at him, frustration bubbling up as you struggled to keep your emotions in check. How many times had he said that? How many times had he limped through that door, barely holding himself together, only to shrug it off like it was nothing? This time was different. You could see it in his eyes—the exhaustion, the pain. He was getting worse, and it terrified you.
“Let me patch you up,” you muttered, your voice softer now but still laced with anger. “You’re not invincible anymore, Logan.”
He didn’t argue, which in itself was alarming. Instead, he just gave a slight nod and allowed you to help him to his feet, his weight heavy against your side. You guided him inside, to the small, cluttered living space where the first-aid kit was always waiting.
Logan collapsed into the nearest chair, his breathing labored as you grabbed the supplies and knelt beside him. His blood-soaked shirt clung to his skin, and you winced as you peeled it back, revealing the extent of the damage. Gashes deep enough to need stitches, burns, bruises—he looked like he’d been through hell and barely crawled out alive.
You worked in silence for a while, cleaning the wounds, stitching up the deepest cuts. Logan winced here and there, but otherwise stayed quiet, his gaze far away, lost in whatever battle he’d just fought. His hand rested limply on his knee, trembling slightly.
“Logan, you can’t keep doing this,” you said after a long stretch of silence, your voice strained with the weight of all the worry, all the fear you’d been holding back. “You’re not healing like you used to. I... I can’t keep watching you come back like this. You’re dying.”
He grunted, barely acknowledging your words. “I’m fine.”
“No, you’re not!” you snapped, the frustration finally boiling over. You paused, trying to steady yourself, but the tears that had been threatening to fall stung at your eyes. “I’m scared, Logan. I’m scared that one day, you won’t come back. That I’ll lose you. And you won’t even care.”
Logan’s jaw clenched, and he looked away, refusing to meet your eyes. “I’ve been through worse.”
You stared at him for a long moment, shaking your head. “That doesn’t make this okay.”
Logan remained silent, his face set in a hard, stubborn mask, like he always did when he didn’t want to talk about his mortality, about how much time he had left. It was the same damn argument every time. He would dismiss it, pretend it didn’t matter, and you would let it go because you couldn’t force him to care. But this time, it was different. You couldn’t keep pretending everything was fine, not when his body was falling apart right in front of you.
“I can’t watch you like this,” you whispered, your voice breaking. “I can’t keep patching you up and pretending you’ll just walk it off like before. You’re not invincible anymore, Logan, and if you keep going like this... I’m gonna lose you.”
Logan didn’t respond. He just closed his eyes, his breathing heavy and labored, as though every word you said weighed him down more.
Eventually, exhaustion took over, and Logan’s body slumped in the chair. He’d fallen asleep, his chest rising and falling in shallow, uneven breaths. You stood there for a long moment, watching him—watching the man who had been your strength, your anchor, slowly fall apart.
Your heart ached with the weight of everything unsaid, but you knew you couldn’t stay. Not if this was how it was going to be. Not if he was going to keep killing himself and expect you to watch him die a little more each day.
As you zipped up the bag, you heard a low, gravelly voice behind you.
“Where are you goin’?”
You froze, your heart leaping into your throat. Slowly, you turned around to see Logan standing in the doorway, his hand gripping the frame for support. His face was pale, his body still weak, but his eyes... they were wide with something you hadn’t seen in a long time. Fear.
“I can’t do this, Logan,” you said softly, the words catching in your throat. “I can’t watch you die.”
Logan’s jaw tightened, and he limped toward you, his body swaying slightly as he fought against the pain. “You’re not leaving.”
“I have to,” you said, your voice trembling. “I can’t just sit here and watch you destroy yourself.”
He stepped closer, his hand reaching out to grab your arm, though his grip was weak. “I can’t lose you,” he rasped, his voice breaking with desperation. “I’ve lost... I’ve lost everyone. I can’t lose you too.”
Your heart clenched at his words, the raw vulnerability in his voice. Logan never let himself get emotional—he always held everything at arm’s length, especially when it came to his own feelings. But here he was, standing in front of you, broken and desperate, his voice barely above a whisper.
“You’re killing yourself, Logan,” you whispered, tears blurring your vision. “I can’t keep watching you like this. I can’t.”
“I’ll take care of myself,” he promised, his voice rough but full of urgency. “I swear. I’ll do better. Just... don’t go. I need you.”
You stared at him, your heart torn between the overwhelming love you had for him and the fear of what staying would mean. But the way he looked at you, the pain in his eyes... he wasn’t lying. He was afraid of losing you and he was letting his guard down to show you.
“You promise?” you asked, your voice barely audible.
Logan nodded, his hand squeezing yours. “I promise.”
For a long moment, you stood there, the weight of his words settling between you. Then, slowly, you let out a breath before dropping the bag to the floor.
“Okay,” you whispered, stepping into his arms, feeling the familiar warmth of his embrace as he held you close. “Okay.”
Logan held you tightly, his breathing ragged but steady as you allowed yourself to believe him.
#logan howlett#wolverine#logan howlett x you#x men wolverine#james logan howlett#logan x reader#old man logan#angst#reader insert#x men logan#x men#mcu#marvel#the wolverine#wolverine x reader#wolverine smut#logan wolverine#hugh jackman#ao3 writer
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A collection of things from various Tally Hall concert video recordings that give me that little kick of dopamine:
The way Zubin trills through the word heterophonic in some live recordings of Welcome to Tally Hall
Rob beating the shit out of the tambourine during Praise You
Praise You tambourine toss
When Andrew plays a particularly complicated piano part and his head gets stuck in tilted position as he focuses
That time period when Zubin's bangs were so long you couldn't see half his face
Joe's double jointed eyebrows (like that megamind "no bitches?" meme) during emotional/intense songs
How Zubin's always grooving and bopping to the song they're playing
Occasionally Rob also bops with the songs, and sometimes when he does his upper body rocks back and forth like a metronome
Andrew using his sound effects keyboard for evil
When Zubin flexes his vocal capabilities during covers. During any song really, but he always turns it up to 11 (out of a possible 5) for covers
Ross going *bongobongobongo clap bongobongobongo clap clap* toward the end of acoustic versions of Spring and a Storm
"Mr. Moon?" "Yeah?" "Tell us about the sky!" "Okay" <-during the Wall Party concert. I now add in the "okay" myself every time I sing along to Spring and a Storm (like the "Où! Ça!" in the Notre Place if you know you know)
Every single shenanigan that occurs when they start playing Just A Friend
When Andrew plays with his face half an inch away from being fully faceplanted into the keyboard
Bora being a jack-of-all-trades. Whistling, accordion playing, bass playing, American Sign Language, saying "Sold!", he does it all
Andrew headbanging so hard that his glasses yeet themselves off
When Zubin turns away from the crowd and plays to Ross
When the other ties hype the shit out of Ross and he gets the wildest applause. And he'll either be doing a crazy drum solo or sitting all proud like :]
Joe's 4-syllable insert during Just a Friend (if only he'd also done one for the studio recording 😔)
Maple Leaf Rag intro with all the instruments joining in
I'm sure there's more but that's all I can think of
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Moments I think Blitzø realized his feelings for Stolas
I really don't think that Blitzø had an "Oh" moment. I think it was over a period of time, where he slowly realizes it, and then it comes unleashing out in either The Full Moon or Apology Tour.
Anyways, here
Seeing Stars (S2, ep2)
This was Blitzø's reaction when he saw Stolas's human form for the first time. God, I love his subtle expressions here sm. Read this post, they explain it well, and it's also the post that made me want to make this post.
In the first pic, Blitzø looks surprised and confused, probably from the shock of seeing Stolas's human form for the first time. Probably didn't even consider he ever had one, lol
The second image, we see a small blush appear, and as @ifwebefriends said, it's the "I'm fucked" face, as he is filled with complicated emotions as he realizes he likes Stolas in every form. He looks really worried by this.
The third image, hid pupils are fully dilated. Instead of confused, he looks genuinely worried and vulnerable. His expression doesn't show lust, but more like a mix of someone who is nervous to be around someone they like and genuine fear. He is realizing that it isn't just lust, but that he genuinely likes Stolas, and that's scary to him.
In the fourth image, he quickly turns around, slightly hunched over and rubbing his hands together; both behaviors indicating nervousness, probably at his own emotions. He also asks Stolas if he can somehow give them human disguises, which yes, is relevant to what's going on, but it can also be him being like, "maybe I'm just interested in the human disguise," so he can believe that instead of dealing with his own emotions.
(Also, have this gif of Blitzø checking Stolas out in his human disguise)
Then that scene in Seeing Stars that, when I joined the fandom, was the first thing I saw fans losing their shit over
Nothing much to comment on here. He's actually smiling at Stolas's advances. The other times Stolas flirted with him, it's always been overly aggressive ("jelly sandwiches all night~"), and this time, it's more subtle and intimate, which clearly worked for Blitzø.
Oops (S2, ep6)
In this moment, Fizz hit Blitzø with the allegations, and this was Blitzø's reaction to it. Look at his expressions! The first image looks confused and scared and heart broken, like he knew he fell, but he's either in denial, ignoring it, or doesn't think it's reciprocated; perhaps even all 3.
The second image, he looks sad, angry, and confused, like he doesn't know his emotions and can't name them, but he's hurt. He's frustrated at how complicated things are, and he hates it.
The 3rd image is now just full denial. When lying, people often look to the side or avoid eye contact, which is exactly Blitzø is doing right here. He knows that its more than sex every month, but he's lying to himself, because he can't get hurt if it is just casual.
Alright, imma have to do a part 2 to this cuz I ran out of space. I'll try to go in episode order next time lol, I just go excited with these 2 lol
Part 2
#blitz#blitzo#blitzø#helluva boss blitz#blitz helluva boss#helluva boss blitzo#blitzo helluva boss#helluva boss blitzø#blitzø helluva boss#helluva boss#stolas#stolas goetia#stolitz#helluva boss stolas#stolas helluva boss
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I'm curious but what are some of your lawlu headcanons???
*cracks knuckles*
Luffy wise:
* before Law, Luffy was never in any sort of relationship, too focused on the next adventure to really indulge in things like that- cause it was the last thing occupying his mind
* When Luffy first encounters his interest in Law it’s at Sabaody but it’s just curiosity, after Marineford he feels indebted to him and it really kind of happens on Punk Hazard.
*Luffy despite how blunt and straightforward he is- like any normal hormonal human being experiences anxiety. It’s quiet anxiety when it’s not comical or fight wise but more emotion based and it happens a lot around Law! It’s a lot of- “Oh wow! Wait am I being too much?? Nah!” And similar things like that. He gets a lot more fidgety and squirmy near him and often in the night will be lying awake during his pining period and over the course of the alliance he’s lying in bed and he’s just kind of like “fucccccckkkkkkkkkkkkkkk.”
* He is NOT the first to confess, loss is a prominent thing in wanting to be strong enough to stop it-but how do you be strong enough to keep someone like Law around?
* He does however stare at the mirror sometimes and pretends to be Law and himself trying to work out a confession that might impress the other with fanciful words
* His entire crew is aware (you’re not slick)
* When he finally receives his first kiss from Law- he fucking explodes-not literally…his entire face is red for the rest of the day and he’s jumping up and down like a maniac
* and since Law is essentially his first everything he cherished those feelings like treasure, (it fucked him up when Doflamingo made fun of his and Law’s relationship- he got really unnerved)
* He’s just a lil guy- and affection from Law makes his head spin in circles, he doesn’t mind letting someone else guide him for once, it’s relieving having someone he can fall back on, emotionally and otherwise. After all, Law’s seen him at his most vulnerable how could he not trust him?
Torao wise:
Law doesn’t get slapped in the face until Dressrosa, it’s curiosity at Sabaody, empathy at Marineford, surprise at Punk Hazard and then holy shit Luffy just fucking destroyed that bitch
Law isn’t great with people- but he’s not an idiot. He took one look at Luffy staring at him with heart eyes, caught him mumbling pick up lines under his breath that he most definitely learned from Ace and then squinted.
It didn’t take a genius to put two and two together.
Law’s been in “relationships” but it was experimental shit and he wasn’t ever fully invested, I imagine it happened just throughout because Penguin, Shachi, Bepo kind of pushed him towards it… when it came to Luffy the feelings were so vastly different that it made him go to his friends and be like “I’m sick”
He was not sick.
Over the course of the alliance, Law just in general realizes how fucking funny it is that they both kind of like each other, and he’s a jackass so he kind of pokes and prods sometimes with light flirtations- and Luffy obliviously prods back- it’s a weird ass banter they share, and it’s comfortable
But of course with ups there must come downs and much like Luffy getting anxious over everything he does so does Law! But while Luffy’s is more directly tied to his self worth, Law is more about his past, his trauma, his reputation—would he be a burden? Would Luffy even have the capacity to pay attention to him-is this fleeting? Does this matter? They’re both idiots
When Law confesses it’s-it’s in the stupidest way imaginable he’s kind of just- I’ll be so for real it’s in WANO. YES WANO THE LAST OF THEIR ALLIANCE, YES WANO THEY ARE GONNA PART WAYS- YES WANO AND THEN BLACKBEARD FUCKING GRIDDIES ON LAW.
…..so sorry
*clears throat*
I just know- that when Luffy fucking dies- I know this because I’ve been partially spoiled I mean for fucks sake I know about Joy boy-
I know in his heart Law is fucking destroyed for a heartbeat- when he finds Luffy- when he sees him rise up like the light he is- I swear to god he screams his name-
IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BATTLE
WHILE KAIDO IS STILL UP
“MUGIWARA-YA!!”
“HAH?? TORAO?!”
“DON’T YOU DARE DIE AGAIN-YOU HEAR ME?!—I’M NOT GONNA LOSE MY IDIOT SOULMATE TO KAIDO! KICK HIS ASS!!”
:3
#one piece#monkey d. luffy#one piece luffy#one piece law#trafalgardwaterlaw#lawlu#law x luffy#lulaw#one piece lawlu#lawlu headcanons#anon asks#inbox convos#anonymous
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more dad dabi head content?! you write it so welllll🥺🥺🥺
*sighs.* It's been a long day for me so im coping by speedrunign this. thanks for requesting, I appreciate you interacting with me more so than the usual like or comment.
Author notes under the cut as well as links
Warnings: FLUFF (mostly, 90%), not proof read, SPOILERS, minor swearing.
reader has blue eyes like Dabi's (she's a toddler, 3-4 years old)
Dabi calls reader bunny, Dabi is addressed as "Daddy"
---
Dabi would be such a good dad you cannot tell me otherwise.
I mean sure, some times he forgets things, that you have school the next morning, and most days he feels like shit for not being able to rent a proper apartment to house you in; forcing you to live in this tiny cupboard of drywall and rotten carpet because he simply can’t afford better. Yeah sure, he sometimes loses his temper and tells you to go wait in your room when he has his "coworkers" over or when the bad man is on TV. But the moment he sees discomfort, prickles of tears in your eyes
He will shut the ever loving fucking up and back away.
But I think what makes him the best dad is his undying will to protect you, usually from himself. He'll lock himself in his own room or take it out on civilians and other villains before even thinking about coming to you in such a god awful state.
however it's also important to note that he'd do just as heinous things if he finds something that's more of a threat then himself. AKA, Endeavor.
(I just realized that by typing the rest of this paragraph, I'd be spoiling the plot of part three, forget I ever said anything.)
So rather than speaking of the devil we'll talk about how much of a worrywart Dabi actually is at heart.
He spends every single waking minute, and every unconscious second, to worry about you. This man lives in constant paranoia. Truly, deep down in his heart he wants to bundle you up in bubble wrap and tuck you under 10 blankets so you'll never be cold. So it's quite unfortunate that he can never quite express these feelings to you or anyone for that matter, trauma and internalized fear of emotional vulnerability and all that.
As a result, he will often express this through odd gestures of- I'm not quite sure what exactly it is.
What he'll do is he'll stare at you for prolonged periods of time, memorize your every schedule, demand to know all your friends, he emails your teachers once a week at least to ask them about your academic and social whereabouts. Everyone thinks he's a helicopter parent, no, he's a fucking psychopath.
he might as well have a GPS tracker on you. of course you barely get a say in this. he's your darling father, he's been like this since you were born, he only does it because he loves you and wants to keep you safe. he doesn't want to hurt you, even if he does, he's always apologized right after.
Dabi is also a cheapskate. the world's greatest in fact. despite the IRS never collecting his taxes he will forever never have enough money, he spends most of his "paycheck" the money stolen from innocent civilians on your college funds. He fully plans on starting a new life in Europe after All For One takes over and enrolling you into a top college so you can get your education (that is if the educational system is still intact.)
this is also why he is a Dumpster Diver and Pro Thriftier on the weekends! Everything, and I mean everything, is probably vintage and from goodwill. I have nothing else to say about that.
However, this did cause you to be heavily bullied and ostracized at school. A school in the pretty subarubs of japan where everyone's parent were either middle class or above, where you, you came from a different district, with the worn down shoes and the badly done hair, so excited to meet your new classmates. And it's quite sad really, never having many friends and all that. Especially if you aren't fully Japanese and were of color. (shout out to all my POC readers!)
and of course this wouldn’t be a proper story without Dabi being a little shit, but that's the thing about Dad Dabi, he is never a little shit in front of his child. never had been and probably never will be. It primarily roots from this need of an acutal father figure that he never had (endeavor was more so a mentor and teacher and, of course, abuser rather rthan an actual father to him).
he's nothing but serious around you, hell, he barely even talks, only ever grunts and hums in response to whatever you're saying so you know that he's listening to you. you may think he doesn't care, but he remembers it all as best he can, scribbles it down in broken grammar on the back of newspapers because he can’t afford a proper phone nor nice clean printerpaper.
Honestly, Dabi's a good father. But he's heavily insecure about it, he truly wants to lock you up in a castle like the princess you are to him and keep you there until the ends of time.
And on a simmilair note, he refuses to let you became a "bad" person.
AKA, someone who doesn't respect others, someone who cusses a lot, someone that doesn't show gratidute when given something good in their life. the reason he does it is because he refuses to see the current version of himself in you, he refuses to even think about you being tainted. Refuses. In his deluded mind that version of you can never exist lest they kill him.
He's genuinely the most strict helicopter parent to ever parent.
I'm talking monitors you 24/7, enrolls you in every after school club with even the tiniest bit of academic advancement (chess club, book club, math team), and he sits down with you every night to work through homework, he only ever buys nutritious meals for you; even though they take up the majority of his budget, and he only eats after you've eaten, drowning himself in the shitty dollar menu fast food.
Of course, he rewards you heavily for your hard work. Every day, he praises you for all that you’ve accomplished,
“Aww, good job honey.”
“A+, very nice.”
“You got a B? Oh, you thought you’d get an A? It’s okay, I know you tried. a B is good too.”
It not the most encouraging thing in the world but he wants your to know that he cares, he’ll takes you out for ice cream at the end of every month and give you an allowance to spend 10 dollars for every A on your report card. (This takes a huge bite out of his budget, but he made you a promise… he can skip out on dinner a couple nights, it’ll be fine.)
so far, you've been doing so well in school, one of the best students in your school, one of the more kind and respectful too. it's just that... you're so shy, you practically cower in fear when you have to talk to your classmates, especially after the incident. (Part 3, anyone?)
Dabi also puts this persona on for you, this persona of a kind man who is just a tad bit odd looking. he puts on the facade of being a normal civilian with a stable job and okay-ish income just so you don't worry. With you, he’s soft and trustworthy and only wants the best for you. Even if he does make you upset, he says sorry afterwards, always. He loves you, at least, that’s what he tells you.
And though it's not something he really worries about now, he dreads the day you become a teenager, then you'll know why he spends his nights out when there's criminals on the lose, who fears the day you'll understand what the news means, the day you'll take the hero's side. He just doesn't have the resources to keep you hidden from the outside world long enough for this wretched war he's fighting to be over. For the mean time, he denies you of much context on what he actually does all day, it's quite easy to do such a thing; he only ever needs to divert your attention to something shiny or pretty, like those little unicorn toys that he bought you for your second birthday, bought them brand new unlike many of the other things he's gotten you over the years. But he doesn’t know how much longer he can keep this up for, you’re smart, incredibly so, it’s only a matter of time until you know who he actually is,
another thing that he fears is of you growing up, caring for a small child is one thing, but he fears the day that you'll become a complex human being capable of properly understanding your emotions and failing to understanding that he truly wants the best for you.
he'll sit in the darkness of the living room some nights, you tucked neatly away on the other side of the couch, fast asleep, you never could finish a movie night without falling asleep half way through. his breathing's heavy as he runs his mind through the thousands upon thousands of theoretical fights you two'll have when you get older. How you’ll want to distance yourself, how you’ll cry yourself to sleep some nights because you think he doesn’t love you. he can't handle it, he won't stand to be your enemy.
because one day, you'll be an adult, you'll want to leave him, and you'll never come back. he can't live with that, he simply won't. he sometimes thinks about killing himself so he won't live to see the day you no longer want him in your life.
OR, OR, ALTERNATIVELY.
ProHero Dad Dabi.
I have been thinking about Dabi's ProHero Au since forever now. think teenage father Dabi but he got a girl pregnant the moment he's out of high school. (those after graduation parties be crazyyyy) and now he genuinely doesn't know how to balance his home life and his career and his daughter.
and obviously, just obviously, he CANNOT tell his father, he's already worse than Shoto, he's not gonna go lower on the scale.
so despite being the highest climbing amateur Hero in the past 7 years, he takes the longest hiatus of his life just to figure all this father shit out. his first plan was to but the girl up for adoption, and then he realized it would fail the moment the media find out, then he thought maybe he could tell one of his friends to take care of her, one of the ladies who'd fallen head over heels for him back in high school, he'd charm them, marry them, and then make em' into a house wife to take care of his mistake child.
honestly, it was a pretty good idea until he truly did start to love his child. similar to the main timeline, ProHero Dabi realizes he wants to be a better father than the one he grew up with, he decides to keep the child and raise her as his own, etc.
But in this timeline, literally everything is reversed.
Dabi's loaded with that money that the government gives him or fighting off a couple measly thugs, pair that with the brand deals he gets offered every other minute, and the trust fund his daddy gave him to get him through the "rough years" as he called it, he's practically rolling in cash.
oh God, you are going to be such a brat growing up. Life handed to you on a silver spoon is nice. I'm talking luxury clothes, top private schools, an allowance bigger than the gods. and Dabi did It all cuz' he loves you.
and the media goes HAM over a teenage ProHero that already looks like a villain having a daughter with a stranger! the press goes wild over it, but the whole time, Dabi covers your little tiny face with his hand so the flashes of the cameras don't frighten you and calmly explains that he will not be taking any questions. he holds you tight to his chest the whole time.
But you know who as the most furious? ENJI. big guy cussed out Touya for 3 hours straight all while holding you, at first the refused to give his son any right to hold you let alone raise you! In Enji's eyes, his son is the most malicious thing to ever grace this planet, he drinks, he smokes, he has ten thousand tattoos and piercings along his burn marks to match, Dabi's essentially the devil, and he's not going to let him get anywhere close to his first ever grandchild and possible child prodigy that he can turn into his puppet! Rei and Fuyumi had to step in and try and convince Enji to let Dabi have you rather than file to take full custody of you with the promise if Dabi even showed hints of negligence towards you, he can take his son to court.
okay that the end of my rant. and please let me know if you want to know more about pro hero Dabi from me.
---
For those who don't know, this post is related to these
Pt 1, Pt 2
my stuff is right here: Bnha master list, rules for requesting, ask box
Note: YA'LL READ MY RULES FOR REQUESTING DAMN. I GOT 2 ANONS (more than my usual of 0) AND BOTH OF THEM ASKED FOR ROMANTICS (I DO NOT WRITE ROMANTICS)
please, please, read a writers rules, please follow them, and thank you to this anon who decided to be reasonable BECAUSE MAYBE THEY READ THE RULES BEFORE DECIDING TO ASK LIKE YOU"RE SUPPOSED TO THIS HAS HAPPENED NEARLY EVERY TIME I GET AN ASK.
taglist: @blurryperrtymoonlight @harkenizalone @lostiolite @rllytriedrn @mellyxqz @cupkiki @xxnessinessiellexx @dehlieee @frog-fans-unite @rian1023 @aikobabe @double-gs @mitsuki3123 @wolvwa @red4-0
#bnha#bnha x reader#bnha headcannons#bnha fluff#platonic yandere#child reader#bnha x child reader#dabi x reader#mha#dabi touya#dad dabi#dabi todoroki#dabi x y/n#dabi todoroki x reader#mha dabi#bnha dabi#dabi my hero academia#dabi#dabi x you#mha touya#bnha touya#touya todoroki#todoroki touya#touya x reader#touya x y/n#platonic yandere dabi#platonic yandere x reader#platonic reader#yandere platonic x child reader#platonic
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*~Period Drama~* Monday
A/N: SCREAMS. There was no reason why this took me so long to get out. But it's here and I hope you guys like it! Another thank you to @bun-lapin for allowing me to use their lovely OCs for this fic series! I love them so much and I'm having so much fun playing with them! Word Count: 8.4K Words (God damn the next part is gonna be even bigger...) Warnings: She/They Pronouns OC, Period talk, Mentions of labor and pregnancy. Pairings: JamilxOC (Poly), Paternal Crewel &OC ~TagList @twistedcece @deltrea @krenenbaker @koebishrimpuwu @cat100200 @emyluwinter Start, Part 1 (Octavinelle), Part 2 (Heartslabyul), Part 3 (Here), Part 3.5 (Diasomnia pt.1), Part 4 (Diasomnia pt2), Part 5 (Pomefiore), Part 6 (Scarabia)
Yuu felt awful, just total dog shit in a bag and on fire awful. But, that was to be expected when they had their period and hadn’t been able to take any pain medication. So, in all honesty, they should be fine.
Yuu checked themselves over in the bathroom mirror. Huffing under their breath and trying to get their hair to settle in a less haggard fashion. They weren’t too sure if they should even go to class. But then they thought about the fact they enjoyed school in Twisted Wonderland. They had teachers who, begrudgingly, took time out of their days to help them understand the coursework. It felt like some kind of disservice to skip out just to laze around their dorm in pain. Not to mention Crewel would have to either visit himself or have someone else bring them food and pain medicine for the day. It just sounded like a lot of unnecessary back-and-forth for everyone else that Yuu wasn’t in the mood to put their loved ones through.
So, Yuu had put her big girl panties on - with a hand towel between her legs for blood catching, hoping she wasn't going to bleed through it - and got out of bed to go to school. She should also try to pick Grim up from Scarabia. While she’s sure her cat companion was having fun being held and hand-fed gourmet crackers, she did miss the furball and if Jamil’s update texts were of any merit, he was pouting about being away from her for so long.
Now fully dressed, and stiff with muscle aches, Yuu sighed as they walked out of their dorm. At least they were able to leave much earlier than they normally were. No Grim to drag out of bed and the fact they had been awake for hours beforehand playing a very key role. With the Sun just barely peeking over the thick woods, they started their journey to the main road to the school.
But, stepping onto the dirt path that branched off from the paved walkways of the school’s actual borders, Yuu pauses, calling out, “...Jack?”
Tall gray-furred ears perk up, the massive figure they were on freezing at the call of his name. Jack turned around slowly, almost in confusion at being called out to. But seeing it was Yuu who called to him, his wide-eyed expression shifted, his eyebrows creasing as his eyes darted to the dorm before moving back to Yuu, “Why are you outside?”
“No, no, good boy. This is still my property. I ask the questions first. What are you doing out here?” Yuu raises an eyebrow, walking closer to Jack and watching as he seemed to grow more nervous.
“I was…Just on my morning jog…”
“...At 7:30am?” Yuu smiles, tilting her at different angles with each question, “Without Vil? In your school uniform? Walking at a leisurely pace?”
“Yes, what of it?”
Yuu smiled, covering her mouth as she playfully batted at Jack’s arm, the other freshman scowling and twitching his body away from her hits, “Aw~. Were you checking on me?”
“NO, stop hitting me!”
“Oh, by the seven. I lived to see the day! Jack Howl, caring for his classmates. His heart has softened! He shows his emotions on his sleeve! His tail is wagging with glee!” “Shut up! It’s not!” Jack quickly looked behind him, just to double check his tail wasn’t actually wagging before he turned back to Yuu, “That’s not important! Why are you outside? Go back inside!”
“No? I’m going to class.” Yuu shrugs, moving to walk past him before the towering freshman steps in their path, “Jack. I was in a silly goofy mood, but not enough for this. Step aside.”
Shaking his head, Jack folds his arms in front of his chest, “No. You’re injured. You should be resting, not going to school. We’ll bring you your notes or something. Go back home.”
“No~.” Yuu tried to step past Jack again, only to lock them both into a half-step and jump dance that quickly had Yuu groaning in frustration, “Fucking move your enormous self!”
“No! You’re going back to Ramshackle to rest properly.” Jack moves forward, hands braced to clearly pick Yuu up to carry them back to the dorm physically.
“Jack.” Yuu steps back, a hand held up in a motion of ‘Stop’, “If you fucking touch me, I will eject blood on you so hard it’ll bruise you and never come out of your jacket.”
Jack instantly steps back, hands pulling back to his sides in mild fear. He…had no idea if that was even a thing. Was it a thing? Could Yuu actually somehow spray him with blood with enough pressure to harm him physically? He didn’t want to find out. Looking away, Jack steps back another pace, “I just…Should you be walking around? You don’t look good…”
Yuu sighed, tilting their head back, “I’m…gonna live. Don’t worry about it, I’m gonna get a quick pain potion from Crewel and just…fucking deal.” Rolling their neck, they shrug their shoulders and finally falling in step beside Jack to slap his back, “Come on, good boy. We got an education to get.”
“...” Jack sighed, quickly falling into pace with Yuu’s lazy stride, “Stop calling me that. Leona-Senpai keeps mocking me for it.”
“Good, you’re too big. You need to be mocked before you get any taller.”
The walk to the main building was longer than Yuu cared to remember. It was only longer with Jack constantly pointing out that Yuu counted as ‘ill’ and that it would make sense for them to skip class for the day. Then, when Yuu would simply state they were fine, Jack would offer to just carry them on his back to the school since they were clearly in pain.
“Jack, you’re very sweet. I will literally bleed on you just to prove a point. Drop it.”
The beastman huffed, looking away in annoyance but not bringing it up anymore on their walk. But in the semi-crowded hallways, Jack didn't leave for his own class. He looked conflicted, glancing at Yuu then down the hall to where he was supposed to be. He didn’t want to leave his friend unattended. The scent of their blood was stronger the longer he walked with them and he could only guess how much stronger it would get during the day. Looking around, he could see the other beastmen glancing at them in various degrees of concern and bewilderment.
“Don’t you have to go to class?”
Looking from their surroundings, Jack turned back to Yuu. He sometimes forgot just how small they felt beside him. Sure they weren't the shortest of their friends and they wore heels whenever they could, not to mention they fit into Night Raven almost too well with the number of students they've sent to the medical wing. But smelling their blood, seeing how tired and simply weathered they looked…it made a part of him want to just scoop them into his arms. Try to hum and growl the obvious pain away, like how his own parents did when he hurt himself in his childhood.
But, he'd rather Yuu actually spray him like some kind of demented blood skunk than say that to them, "Yeah I'm…Yuu. You know you smell…weird right?"
The look in Yuu's eyes literally made a bead of cold sweat form at his temple. Piercing yellow eyes quickly looking away from deep, near soulless appearing black pupils as he stuttered. Yuu somehow managed to learn Crewel-Sensei's famous "I will skin you alive and wear it as a coat" glare, something that quickly put anyone on edge because they weren't sure if they'd actually try to do it.
"Not! Not like 'smell bad' weird! Just…off…like…" he blushes, a hand coming up to nervously thumb at a pinned back ear, trying to find the right words, "You…you smell like a lady…"
The glare had thankfully faded to a simple "That was the dumbest thing I ever heard in my life" expression. Yuu tilted their head both in question and to look Jack directly in his sheepish eyes,"..." They sigh, pinching the bridge of their nose and gesturing down the hall with their other hand, "Jack, go to class."
"But-"
"Go to class."
"Bye, Yuu."
They sigh, watching Jack's hunched figure scurry down the hall and into a classroom. Honestly, the fucking men of this school…
With a spin on their heel, missing the crowd of beastmen who jump and scramble out of their way, they walk toward the teacher's lounge. Hopefully, they'll catch Crewel before he made his way to homeroom for the morning roll call.
Instead, Yuu ran into Jamil and Kalim. The two second-years standing in front of a classroom and seeming to be arguing. Grim held in one of Jamil’s arms and clearly pouting. Whether it was from the lazy hold or his own bad mood, Yuu couldn't tell.
"I can take Grim with me to class. You already have issues focusing and Grim won't be any help in that avenue."
Kalim pouts, trying to take Grim from Jamil only to be denied each time, "Come on! You won't cuddle with him and he'll be so sad until lunch. Shouldn't we do our best to keep him happy until Yuu is feeling better?"
Jamil rolls his eyes, smacking Kalim’s hand away once again, "Yuu doesn't even try to keep Grim happy at all times. He can handle not being cradled for a few hours."
Yuu walks up beside the two, hands easily snatching Grim from Jamil’s grasp in his surprise, "I don't indulge him, Jamil. There's a difference." Yuu smiles, feeling Grim instantly start purring under her grip, shifting him until he was able to rest his arms on her shoulders in a lazy hug, "Sup buddy?"
"Why the hell are you here?"
"Hello to you too, Jamil, my love."
Grim grumbles, nuzzling into Yuu's shoulder, but pulling his ears back at their scent, "You still smell weird…" his grumbles turning into purrs as Yuu scratches behind his ear.
"Yeah. I'm still on the bleed, but I should be ok."
"How!?" Jamil looked ready to either burst a blood vessel, or simply grapple them to the ground to drag them back to Ramshackle. Which was fair, but Yuu felt like if anyone besides Grim touched them they'd start swinging.
Yuu shrugs, "It's fine. I'm…living. I can handle a day at school. Did it all the time back home."
"Yeah, I don't think that was healthy…" Kalim gives them a nervous smile, clearly wanting to gather them up in a hug but having enough sense to take note of their expression, "You look…upset…"
"Oh, I am. But, that's normal."
Jamil finally relaxed, if only to pinch the bridge of his nose, "Why are you here? You should go home, you're not well."
"Jamil." Yuu placed a hand on one of his shoulders, stepping closer to press their sides together and let the second-year wrap his arms around them, even though the contact was slowly worsening their mood, "It's gonna be fine. I'm on my way to get a pain potion from Crewel. I'm going to be sitting all day. So unless by some miraculous, horrible, divine intervention and periods become contiguous? Everyone else is gonna be fine, too."
"..." Kalim suddenly stepped back, his hands covering his lower stomach in brief panic, "Wait, it's contiguous?"
"No, you fucking- I'm gonna go." Yuu pulls away from Jamil, managing to pry the second-year's hands from their jacket, " I'm gonna go before I clock Kalim in the face."
"Me!? What'd I do!? I'm sorry!"
"Stop talking." Yuu took a breath, moving their arms to properly support Grim slung over their shoulder, "No offense Kalim, but the sound of your voice is activating my fight response. So I'm leaving before I put it into action." They nodded in farewell, almost stomping away from the confused duo. Missing the panic that slowly grew over Jamil’s face before he pulled his phone out and started texting someone.
Yuu walked down the hallway, doing her best to keep her mood above the poverty line. Beastmen bobbed and weaved through the crowds, watching Yuu through doorways and running back around corners when they saw she had noticed their staring. Normally she’d attribute it to Savanaclaw reacting to one of her and Leona’s public squabbles, but too many uniforms were sporting non-yellow ribbons to only be the Beast King’s dorm.
Showing up to the ornate door of the teachers' lounge, Yuu saw a group of beastmen from various dorms crowded around it, whispering sharply among themselves. Yuu stood back a few moments before speaking up, “Are you guys gonna move or go in?”
The yowl the cat beastmen let out made everyone jump. Yuu stepped back as they all turned to look at her in what could be described as ‘horror’.
“...Um…Hi?”
“Do you need help!?”
“...” Yuu looked at the other beastmen, each one almost shaking with panicked expressions, “I gotta…get into the teachers’ lounge. So can you guys move?”
They move as a unit, one of them even shoving another to get him out of their path faster. They stood in a single file line beside the door, looking at them in a mix of respect and fear. One started to scramble to remove his jacket, placing it on the ground for Yuu to walk on as if it were some kind of tiny red carpet. The taller boy smiles sheepishly and gestured for Yuu to go into the room.
…
Yuu looked down, doing their best to not walk on the jacket, “Okay…Thank you…Please leave.”
There was a second scrambling, the same student shoving the other straight to the ground as they all tried to leave. The cat beastman doubled back. He stood fidgeting with his fingers and biting his lip. Looking at him closer Yuu could see he was from Heartslabyul. Seeming to gather up his courage, he looked at her with a firm nod, “You’re doin’ great!'' Then he turned tail and ran down the hall. The group of them peeking from around the corner before fully disappearing.
…
Grim pulled his head from Yuu’s shoulder, looking at them in sleepy confusion, “What was that about?”
“I…I wish I could tell you, Grim…Let’s just go see Crewel.” Yuu leaves the jacket on the ground, stepping over it awkwardly and opening the door, “Oh, papa dog? Your favorite puppy is here.” Crewel’s head snapped around from his seat at a fast speed, Ingrid giving his neck a concerned look at the audible pop she heard from across the table, “Why?” He looked Yuu over in bewilderment, standing up and rushing to them, “WHY ARE YOU HERE!?”
“Well, I'm in this room to get some pain relief. But, I’m in the building to go to school? That thing you guys really want me to do? To get an education or something?”
“WHY-” He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose and trying to calm himself down. He bends down and places a hand on Yuu’s free shoulder, pulling her closer to speak softly, “My sweet puppy. My little mongrel. My mini menace…Why are you coming to school when you are actively bleeding from your vagina?”
“Because I’m not a little bitch?”
“You wanna repeat that?”
“Okay, okay!” Ingrid stood from her seat, gathering up the designs and fabric swatches she and Crewel were going over and quickly getting between the ‘father-daughter’ duo, “You two hotheads can cool down. Crewel, she’s here and willing to stay for classes. Now, as teachers, we’re not going to try to dissuade a student from attending classes now are we?”
Ignoring Crewel’s grumbled response, the redheaded woman turns to Yuu. Her smile turning strained as she gets a good look at the first-year student. A part of her filing away the cutting remark of ‘hit by a truck chic’. But she keeps smiling, tilting her head in a questioning manner, “Yuu, are you…sure…you wanna go to class?”
Yuu sighed, taking one arm from supporting Grim to pinch at her nose. Copying the pose Crewel had just done only moments ago.
Ingrid tried to keep her coo to herself. By the 7, she really behaved like a mini Crewel at times.
“Ms. Oster. I'm fine. This is totally normal, it'd actually be weirder if I didn't go to school. Unless I'm like…dying, there's no reason for me to not deal with my daily burdens while on my period. I just need a painkiller and I'll be good for the day or at least until lunch.”
Ingrid looks from the corner of her eye, taking in Crewel’s upset face before the bicolor-haired man scoffs. He rolls his eyes and turns on his heel, red bottom lace up loafers clicking against the floor.
“I swear, you were born to a damned dystopia. No one should be leaving their home, let alone their bed when bleeding like this!” He threw open the doors of a medicine cabinet roughly, fully stocked with all sorts of pain relievers though most of them were formulated for headaches. Being a teacher was hard enough, being a teacher at Night Raven College was a gauntlet.
Yuu shrugged, managing to catch the potion Crewel had flung at them. They were sure if they hadn't the teacher would have used their ‘decreased hand-eye coordination’ as a reason they shouldn't be in school. Uncorking the bottle, they gulped it down. While the pain was easing, none of the other symptoms did. They still felt awful, bloated, and as the fizzy thick syrup settled in their stomach, nauseous.
Hearing the small groan Yuu made, Crewel clicked his tongue, “Puppy, I'm serious. Go back to bed, you're not well.” His stern tone dipped into worry on his last word, expression changed from angry to concerned as he walked closer to them.
Yuu waves not only him but Ingrid off, breathing evenly to get their body back in check, “I'll be fine…period never stopped me before, no reason for it to stop me now…” they sighed, letting Ingrid press a hand to their forehead briefly.
“...” Ingrid hummed, pulling her hand away to instead pick and straighten Yuu's uniform, “They don't have a fever…and they did manage to walk all the way up here. She might be okay to stay, Crewel…”
“Ha!” Yuu smiled at Crewel, “Get outvoted, bitch.”
“You wanna stay for classes!? Fine!?” Crewel slapped his crop in his hand out of frustration, growling under his breath before waving the crop as he walked, “Well then hurry up, puppy. Follow me to class. You're lucky it's a joint class day. Homeroom and potions will just be lectures.”
Even though Grim groaned in their arms, complaining about how boring just sitting was going to be, Yuu was pleased, “Perfect. I don't have the beans to actually measure shit out right now.”
“Amazing. It sounds like you shouldn't have come to classes.”
Ingrid chuckles, waving the two away as they leave the room, still nipping comments at each other in annoyance. Once she was sure they were gone, she whipped out her phone. Typing furiously into the teachers' chat room. If Yuu was going to be on campus, she needed to make sure Hui-Yan kept a certain someone in Diasomnia for as long as possible.
Yuu and Crewel walked into the room, the teacher lightly shoving Yuu toward their seat, “Sit. And if I see blood on the chair when you leave, I'm dragging you back to Ramshackle.”
Their response was to quickly flip Crewel off, rushing over to their seat when the teacher raised his crop in a threatening manner. Sitting down, they nod their head in a greeting to their friends before placing Grim on the tabletop, “Sup?”
Ace and Deuce were staring wide-eyed, each leaning on the table in an effort to get a clear view of them. The duo looked at each other, then both looked across the room to Jack and Epel. Jack carrying a pinched expression, the look of guilt just barely coming across as Epel ogled aghast. The purple-haired boy gestured as subtly as he could, not wanting to call attention to himself as Crewel started to write on the board.
Deuce cleared his throat, hesitantly nudging his arm against Yuu's, “Yuu…do you really wanna be here right now? With everything going on?”
“Do you wanna die, Deuce?”
“...” The spade card soldier shared a fearful glance with Ace before answering, “No…?”
“Yeah, but you're gonna do it one day anyway. That's how I'm doing right now, so don't talk to me.”
Ace winches, tilting his head in confusion, “ If you don't feel well why didn't you just stay home?”
“Ace, I don't…wanna speak. I don't feel good. Just leave me alone and we can all get through today with our bones.”
The Heartslabyul duo clearly wanted to say something else, hoping to wear down their friend into going home. But the resting bitch face was stronger than normal, and neither wanted to test if Yuu was willing to actually attack them during class. So instead they sat quietly, taking their time to send messages with the other first years across the room.
Throughout the class, Yuu's glare only got worse. A headache almost forming from just how strained their facial muscles were. Crewel snapping his crop more than normal wasn't helping either. The professor kept dead stopping in his lecture to demand the attention of the class. Yuu didn't hear anything that would normally call his ire. Sparing a glance around the room, they noticed a few beastmen quickly look away from their eyes.
Yuu managed to make eye contact with one, the canine beastman jumping up from his seat, seeming to ready himself to vault over the table.
“SIT DOWN!” The crop hit Crewel’s desk so hard Yuu was afraid that the poor wand would just snap in half at some point.
The yell was enough to send the beastman crashing back into his seat. The Ignihyde student blushing furiously as he tried to curl away from the view of his classmates.
The class settled into an uncomfortable silence, Crewel grumbling before he turned back around to aggressively write on the chalkboard, the chalk squeaking harshly with each swipe.
Yuu sighs, gathering an already snoozing Grim into their arms and using him as a mock pillow. Laying their head down, they closed their eyes and welcomed the half nap that quickly took them over.
If coming to classes was a ‘bad idea’, going PE was a horrible, shitty idea. Yuu had only gotten into their uniform by the grace of the Seven and however many other icons decided to help. The fact they'd need to change again after class only made their stomach churn.
By the time they walked out to the field, they were the last one to line up. Jack sends them a glance but straightens up as their teachers call for their attention.
Vargas boomed out a laugh, “Now that you’re all here, let’s get those muscles primed and trained! Let’s do some quick stretches then you’ll pick which training to do today. Either endurance training with me or strength training with Professor Dubhghall.”
Iomhar Dubhghall was a tall, quiet man. From afar he looked like an average person, but standing closer, you saw just how large the man was, broad-shouldered and long-limbed. While he did teach physical education like Vargas, he spent most of his time focusing on a sparring-centered class that was only open to the 3rd-years. Yuu had met him only a handful of times, delivering staff handouts in Crowley's place was the only real way their paths crossed. He rarely spoke but Yuu had the impression he was pleased enough with her. He had once called her back during a delivery to teach her a few moves on a practice dummy before sending her on her way.
Yuu didn’t mind the other gym teacher, she kind of preferred his quiet judgment over Vargas’ bombastic demands to ‘build muscle’. Overall, a more balanced teacher.
Sadly, neither PE activity was high on their list to do. They groaned and grumbled through the stretches, Jack muttering back to them that the stretches were almost over, to hold on for just a bit longer. Touching their toes made their stomach roll, having to swallow down what they feared really was vomit. Once the warm-ups were done, Yuu groaned, sitting down on the ground as the other students quickly divided themselves among the activities.
Epel tried to walk closer, a nervous expression on his face before he was called back from one side of the field. Someone obviously taunting him about not being brave enough to spar. The Pomefiore first-year growled, looking at Jack before the two of them nodded, Epel running after the student who mocked him. Instead of picking an activity, Jack stood vigilant beside their seated form, eyes scanning the crowd. Every now and again, he’d growl or increase his glare in a direction.
Ace and Deuce ran around the track, Grim hot on their ankles as they would look over every time they passed her. The Heartslabyul duo checking on her in their own way.
Vargas looks from the side, opening his mouth to call Yuu over, only to stop at a firm hand resting on his shoulder. Iomhar didn’t turn to face Vargas’ confused glance, only shaking his head. Vargas huffed, folding his arms but not calling out to Yuu, “I don’t see why she should be allowed to sit out…If she had the energy to come to class, she’s got the energy to build her muscle.”
Iomhar shook his head again, “Just because she had the will to get to the mountain doesn’t mean she has the might to climb it. Not today at least…”
“What does today have anything to do with it?”
“...” The other teacher looked at Vargas with an exasperated look, “Do you not check your phone?”
Yuu sat silently, hands gripping and ripping into the grass in a method to distract themselves. Luckily, Jack kept his strange guard around her. The Savanaclaw student every now and again rushing around to grab and offer Yuu a cold water bottle that she would only accept half the time. Mid swallow, a familiar Heartslabyul student walked closer, ears pinned back as Jack growled at the cat beastmen.
“Jack…Calm down.” Yuu titled their head at the Heartslabyul beastman, questioning glare just a bit fiercer than necessary, “What do you want?”
“...” The cat beastman suddenly got nervous, shuffling his feet and looking down before breathing out, “We made you something…Come see?”
“...I guess?” Yuu groans, standing to their feet and sighing, “What’s this thing?”
The student perks up, gesturing behind him to the bleachers, “It’s under there! Me and some others worked hard on it so it’d be extra comfortable for you.” A beat of silence passes before the beastman steps closer, “Do you need me to carry you?”
Fuck no? That was what Yuu was going to say. Instead, they had to force down a gag as they felt themselves being scooped up and jostled into large firm arms. Once the nausea faded they realized they were in Jack’s arms. Their Savanaclaw friend glaring daggers at the shorter student.
“I’ll carry them. Just lead the way…” Jack looks at their bewildered face, ears pinning back in embarrassment, “Sorry…Should've asked…”
“You shouldn’t have in the first place.”
Jack hummed in what had better be agreement, following the jittery Heartslabyul student behind the bleachers. When they arrived, Yuu still wasn’t sure what they were supposed to be looking at. On the ground, protected from the dirt by a tarp, was a pile of fabrics. It looked like a mess of school uniforms all piled together and formed to give it a side so that someone could lay lounge style. Looking longer. Yuu noticed a few pieces of clothing that belonged to her friends. Epel’s ruffled dress shirt, Ace’s tie with a playing card tucked into the back folds, and what seemed to be Deuce’s track hoodie.
Silence passed, until Yuu spoke up, “What the fuck am I looking at?”
The group all deflates, turning to start whispering to each other. ‘They don’t like it.’ ‘I told you we should have put food nearby!’. ‘We didn’t get enough of their friends' stuff…’
“No, don’t ignore me, tell me what the fuck I’m looking at!”
Jack huffed but didn’t demand an answer either. Readjusting them in his arms before turning away with a mutter of, “Pitiful…” Exiting the bleachers as the group of beastmen start to mobilize again.
“I’ll go grab snacks!” “You! Go grab some blankets and pillows from your dorm!”
“How did I not think of it!? Pomefiore is a haven of proper materials!”
Yuu scowled, upset from still being unanswered, “Jack. What in the green eyes of the thorn fairy was that bullshit?”
Jack glanced away, ears pinning back as a conflicted expression crossed his face, “...” He opened his mouth.
“Jack. If you tell me something along the lines of, ‘I smell like a lady’ again…something…will happen to both of us…”
And his mouth snapped shut, the clinking of his teeth being the only noise he made. Reaching back to their plot of free space, Jack moves to place Yuu back on the ground.
“No.”
“Alright…” Jack stood up straight, keeping Yuu in his arms. Eyes scanning the surrounding area for various “dangers”.
From the side, Vargas looked up from his phone and groaned, “Iomhar, look at this! They’re not even sitting anymore! Howl’s carrying them around. I’ve had plenty of muscle cramps in my life, this can’t be as bad as everyone is claiming it is.”
Iomhar again shook his head, “Yuu’s already primed to fight anyone they please. It’s even more so now and I don’t believe any fondness they hold will keep them from actually trying to hurt someone…So if they attack you, I’m not pulling them off of your neck.”
“Phhht. I doubt they’d be able to reach my gloriously robust neck. Don’t tell me you’re afraid of fighting Little Ramshackle?”
“I don’t fight children, Vargas. I at most spar with them, and at least, train them.”
“Oh, and I assume flipping the Schoenheit boy three times in one match was sparring.”
“It was. It was in the ring and everything.”
Yuu glared at her friends, Grim held firmly in her arms, “Literally…All of you?”
Epel smiled, a bead of sweat just barely rolling down his temple as he tried to steady a clearly distressed Sebek who was clawing at the hallway wall in a bent-over position, “Sorry…Sebek’s really not feeling well. Ace, Deuce, and Jack are helping me since Diasomnia gives me the creeps. We’ll try to be back by lunch! To keep you company!”
Yuu shook her head, walking past the group of nervous boys, “Don’t worry about it. Take little bitch boy Sebek back to Diasomnia. I’ll…take notes or something I don’t know…”
Deuce spoke up, nervously rubbing the back of his head, “Do you…wanna come with us-”
“NO!” Sebek jumps up from his huddled position, the panic clear in his expression as though Deuce just suggested they all go line up to punch Malleus in the face. He realized his outburst, turning to Yuu with a fearful expression, “Uh…I mean…Please don’t come to Diasomnia.”
“...” Yuu blinked before shaking her head and walking into Trien’s room. Whatever was going on today with everyone was something she did not have the bones nor spoons to try to figure out.
The potion had started to fade, already feeling the tightening pressure doing nothing to help their rolling empty stomach. Their mood had also not gotten any better. For the rest of gym class, the same beastmen students had continuously called Jack to carry them back behind the bleachers and show off increasingly elaborate piles of fabric. They still refused to just tell them what the fuck the mess was supposed to be, only growing more determined to ‘get it right’. But when they had failed by the end of the class, they had actually apologized to them profusely and wished them luck before rushing off to their own classes.
So, by Night Raven boy standards, very fucking weird.
Yuu should have asked at least one of her friends to stay behind in class with them. One of them to act as a buffer against the wide-eyed stares of various first and second-year students who possibly hadn’t seen them yet today. She clicks her tongue, looking around the room and breathing a sigh of relief seeing Ruggie. The hyena beastman had a half-eaten donut shoved in his mouth, slowly chewing to make it disappear, and rifling through his beaten-up bag. And just her luck the seat next to him was empty.
They sat, letting Grim crawl out of their arms and getting comfortable, as much as they could with the cramps slowly returning and the feeling of a moist hand towel against their pussy, “Hey Ruggie.”
“Hey-Hold the fuck on…” Ruggie whips around, looking at them as though they were back from the dead. The hyena leaned closer to them, sniffling deeply before pulling back so hard he almost tipped out of his seat, “By the seven, are you okay!?”
Grim gave Yuu a nervous glance, waving a paw as he tried to warn Ruggie to calm down his concern, “Uh…Hey listen-”
“Ruggie, do you wanna be okay?”
“...” The Savanaclaw sophomore actually looked down, seeming to weigh his options before he looked up and nodded, “Yeah?”
“Okay, then I’m gonna need something from you.”
“Sure! What ya need? You want some water? I think I got a bottle left, hell just take the one I had too. You must be hungry, you’ve probably been working hard all day. Let me see if I got anything in here to eat-”
“Ruggie.” Once Yuu was certain they had his attention, they motioned him to lean closer again. He did, though he looked mildly reluctant to do so. Once he was close enough, Yuu gripped him by the collar and pulled him even closer to whisper, “I want you to shut the fuck up. Just…Just shut the fuck up for the whole class. Can you do that for me?”
“Yes.”
“Less intensity.”
“Yeah, I can do that…Do you want the water though?”
“...” Yuu sighed. Maybe water would help their growing nausea, “Fine. And a sucker if you got it.”
Ruggie turned and searched through his bag, quickly pulling out a fresh water bottle and a handful of brightly colored suckers to dump on the table, “Here you go. Made them myself. The yellow ones are lemon; you like lemon right-”
“Ruggie.”
“Sorry.” The hyena raised his hands, scooting away as much as he could without pressing against the other student beside him.
The joint history class was passing by. That being the best way Yuu could describe it. Trein’s dry voice, while being the dullest kind of ASMR, was a calming effect to Yuu's thoughts. While it was history here, Yuu couldn't help but hear the lecture as a very detailed fairytale being read aloud in a fancy library. She could feel herself finally relaxing, stomach being only slightly appeased by the sweet-flavored lemon suckers.
If she had bothered to look around, Yuu would have noticed how the beastmen around her were finally calming too. The clearly distressed mood from the Ramshackle prefect doing more damage than she thought it would have.
But the peace was broken, just as Yuu crunched down on their second sucker, the cracking being more audible than they were expecting. But seeing how Trein didn't stop speaking or even turn to them, they grabbed another sucker and started to open it-
“Sensei? Is Ramshackle supposed to be eating?”
It was like time had frozen. Trein’s writing had stopped abruptly, the chalk in hand snapping off in his tightened grip. Every beastman nearly stopped breathing, turning to glare at the Scarabia student who had spoken up.
Ruggie turned to Yuu, opening his mouth to tell them to not mind the student, they could keep eating their sucker. Only to jump back as Yuu stood up, slamming their hands on the table.
Trein felt his face pinch, watching Yuu gather up the half-empty water bottle and numerous unopened suckers. He sighed as Yuu walked toward the small wastebasket by the door, “Yuu, you don’t need to-”
“No, it’s fine!” Yuu shrugged in an almost frantic motion, slamming the water bottle into the wastebasket hard enough the poor plastic bowl had nearly tipped over, “It’s fine. I just can’t fucking have anything!” They had moved onto the suckers, whipping each one into the basket with enough force that everyone was able to hear the candy being broken on impact, “It’s fine, it’s fine, it’s fine, it’s fine!” At the end, they simply threw all of the suckers into the trash.
The room remained silent, waiting in bated breath as Yuu stomped back to their seat, ignoring the concerned looks from Grim and Ruggie. Without saying anything, Ruggie slipped his hand into Yuu’s, holding it firmly as a form of silent support. They looked over, expression clear that they were not pleased, but didn’t pull their hand away.
Trein looked over his class. The beastmen not close to Yuu were spending their energy glaring at the student who had spoken up, those closer were trying to subtly pass items to Bucchi. Hidden juice packs, different candies, savory snacks. All things that were forbidden in his classroom besides a Pomefiore beastmen trying to hand over his gallon-sized personalized water bottle. He sighed. If he had the time to properly speak, he would have told the student to pay attention to the lesson and not his classmates sitting silently, minding their own business.
Sighing, he turned back to the board, grabbing a fresh piece of chalk, “Now…as I was saying…”
The lesson continued on, the air clearly tense as Yuu started to tap on their table in an increasingly aggressive manner.
Trein turns to the class, “Can anyone tell me what was the tactic used in the battle against invaders of the East Kingdom?” Seeing no one raising their hand, he unfortunately fell back on muscle memory. Yuu had shown great promise in his class, excitedly asking questions about historical events and even reading text for the second or third-year classes on their own time. So it didn't occur to him that calling on them in their current state was not the right move to make, “Yuu? Would you care to enlighten the class?”
“...” Yuu stood from their seat, leaving behind a confused Grim and Ruggie, and walked out of the room. The door slamming hard behind them and rattling the surrounding frames.
…
Trein sighed, turning back to the chalkboard and continued writing, “Does anyone have the answer?”
The botanical gardens were always pleasant. Perfect temperature no matter the season, full of fresh smelling air. Even when the magical dome had its annual rainshower, Yuu wasn't above gathering their friends and sitting under a tree to chat in the sprinkle. Which is probably why the gardens were the first place their legs took them.
Just where he normally was, Leona laid down with his arms folded under his head in a relaxed pose. The third-year napping peacefully in his patch of overgrown grass. She sat beside Leona, moving to stretch her back as she did during gym.
Leona’s eyes snap open after a few beats of silence. He sat up on his elbows, looking at Yuu with wide eyes, “...” He tilted his head, eyes flickering to their lower body, “Are you okay?”
Yuu sat up, winding back their fist and punched Leona directly in the chest.
“AUH! You little-” Leona had pulled his hand back, fully prepared to backhand Yuu in retaliation before he paused. Taking in Yuu's face, he noted how pathetic they looked even though they were glaring at him. He groaned and clenched his hand tightly. Having to remember his key reasons for not just striking back the non-magical student at every sucker punch Yuu managed to land on him. ‘They were younger than him’. ‘They didn’t have magic’. ‘They knew better than to just hit him, so they clearly want him to do something’. He breathed in, putting his hand back down and raising an eyebrow at the angry scowl on Yuu’s face, “What the fuck is wrong with you?”
“What’s wrong with me? What the fuck is wrong with everyone else!?” Yuu waved their arms around, as though Leona could see the examples all around them, “This whole fucking day, everyone’s been acting so weird! Jack was basically a fucking bodyguard for me during gym! Hell, Ruggie was almost trying to hand-feed me during history!”
Leona mumbled under his breath, realizing just how late in the day it had become, “Fuck, I overslept…”
“Plus, like, I think every beastman is acting like I’m about to explode if they don’t treat me like the most delicate little flower.” Yuu turned to Leona, confusion easily bleeding into their scowl, “Like, what the fuck is going on today!?”
“...” Leona points to between Yuu’s legs, nose wrinkling as he sniffles the air softly “What’s happening down there?”
“I’m on my period…”
“Yeah, because I clearly know what the hell that is, Feral.”
Yuu groans out, the force of it almost making them slump over before they snap back up, “I’m bleeding out my pussy. Don’t freak out, it’s normal for me,”
Leona brought his fingers to his temple, sighing, “Yeah, that’ll do it…”
“Do what!?”
“Send everyone into a fucking panic. You smell like you’re in active labor…” Leona suddenly looked at them from the corner of his eyes, “You aren’t, right? If that lizard actually knocked you up while you’re still in school-”
“I’m not pregnant! This is literally happening because I’m not pregnant!”
Leona leaned away, doing his best to not roll his eyes, “Okay. By the seven…I'm just saying if he did, you can sue him over that.”
“Leona, I'm not suing my boyfriend just because you've got some kinda one-sided blood feud with him.”
“One; it's not one-sided. Two; it's sound legal advice. You two had a binding agreement and if he broke it you have right to-”
“Words can not express how much I want you to shut the fuck up…”
Leaning back, Leona scoffed. Arms going back to their folded position as he reclined on the grass, eyes closing, “Fine. Get fucked over for all I care…” After a beat of silence, he sighs out, cracking an eye to look at Yuu, “What happened? You're supposed to be in history. You're a little goody for Trein normally.”
“...” Yuu sighs, taking the standing silent invitation and laying down beside Leona, hands folded over the growingly tense muscles of their pelvis, “It's just been…a lot today. I can normally handle my period just fine but…”
The following silence quickly sombered their conversation. Leona gave Yuu his full attention, raising an eyebrow as a silent gesture for Yuu to continue. His concern almost showing on his face when they don’t respond to him, “Yuu-”
“YUU!?”
Leona’s ears press against his head at the yell echoing in the garden. He grumbles under his breath and sits up again, sniffing in the direction of the yell before calling out, “Stop making so much noise. We’re over here.”
Ruggie comes rushing around the corner, Grim just barely hanging onto him from his shoulder. In his arms were blankets and multiple kinds of snacks and drinks, “There you are! Are you ok? Ya hungry? I got some cold juice on the way over here. Leona, how's it looking? Are the contractions far apart still?”
… Yuu rolls over to fully press their face into the ground, frustrated screaming slowly growing in volume as they banged their fists against the grass. Ruggie had attempted to rush over, dropping the bundle in his arms only to be stopped by Leona’s outstretched hand.
“Calm down, she’s not pregnant. Just being a little bitch.”
“Wait, what?”
The screaming had died down, Ruggie and Leona speaking in quick mumbles to each other. Grim slipped off of Ruggie’s shoulder, cautiously nudging at Yuu’s prone arm.
“Hold on…this is normal?”
Leona shrugs, running a hand through his hair as he sighed, “I’m guessing from how pissed they’re being about people worrying over them…” His green eyes looked over Ruggie, noting his empty arms before he scowled, “And where’s my lunch?”
Ruggie rolls his eyes, clicking his tongue and picking at the collar of his too-big button-up, “Well, forgive me for being more worried about the potentially pregnant person about to pop out a baby to get you a damn sandwich…”
“That’s not an excuse to not do your job-”
Grim whined, pushing against Yuu’s arm even harder than before, “Yuuuuuu! Come on, henchman, I'm hungry! Don’t you wanna go get lunch-”
“NO!” Yuu snaps up, their yelling sending Grim rolling away from them and scrambling to hide behind an equally stunned Leona and Ruggie, “No! I wanna take a shit and die. Just fucking pass away from the mortal coil!”
“Yuu-”
“It shouldn’t be this fucking hard!” Yuu pulled themselves up from the ground, kneeling as they look at their hands, trying to find the answers to their boiling-over questions and concerns, “It’s normal! It’s fucking basic as fuck for me normally! Periods shouldn’t be this hard, things shouldn’t be this hard!”
Ruggie and Leona share a look with each other, the second-year trying to step closer, “Hey, bud, it’s okay-”
“IT’S NOT RUGGIE, AND THAT’S THE PROBLEM!” Yuu was almost shaking from the force of their welling emotions, “Everyone is acting like something’s wrong! And that has never happened to me past just ‘Oh fuck, your period started? You need a tampon?’ And that’s it! Like, I knew things were different here, obviously. But I don’t think about it, you know? But now I am because everyone is acting weird when it’s just my period, it's not a big deal! But it is a big deal here! A lot of shit is a big deal here. And I'm thinking about where I came from a lot now and holy shit, I'm never gonna see those people or places again. And I'm okay with that! But, oh my fucking God, I am craving comforts and shit that I'm never going to have again. And I'm spiraling thinking about the few things I do regret and how I'm never gonna be able to fix them, I won't even get to try! Does anyone even know I'm gone? Did anyone care? I'm in a place where I don't actually exist, bleeding out my pussy with basically no support, and I'm realizing I have never felt more alone.”
The only sound was Yuu’s harsh breathing, the magicless human trying to take deep breaths to calm her rolling stomach and fight against the tears threatening to spill. The three males all shared a look, having a silent conversation with a series of eyebrow raises and glares. In the end Leona sighed, leaning over to place a hand on Yuu’s shoulder.
“Oi…Feral…You okay?”
“...Yeah…” Yuu’s face pinches up, a single sound of struggle slipping out as she shook her head, “No…” Turning, she dry heaved into the grass.
“Oh, by the Seven…” Leona moved, reaching over and pulling Yuu’s hair back in time for them to let out a wet-sounding retch that finally brought up a bit of watery bile. He held their hair, silently directing Ruggie to wrap up the food items in one of the many blankets. He only looked back to Yuu once the vomiting had stopped, helping them to sit up, “Feel better now?”
Yuu looked at Leona, tears clear in their eyes and quickly losing the fight to not cry. They shake their head again, tilting it down as they whimper, “I wanna go home…”
“Alright…” Leona slips his arms around Yuu’s body, easily scooping the smaller into his hold and cradling them close, “You shoulda stayed home in the first place…”
“Shut up…”
Leona looks to Ruggie, using one of his hands to grip the makeshift bag of treats, “Watch the weasel, I'm taking them home.” He made his way out of the garden, calling over his shoulder, “And you better have my lunch by the time I’m back!”
Ruggie sighed, sharing a look with Grim before he gave a disgusted look to the puddle of vomit on the ground, “I should find a hose or something to clean this up…smells awful-”
“Uh…Ruggie?” Once Grim was sure he had the hyena’s attention he pointed a paw to the top of the greenhouse dome, noting the fast-rolling dark clouds, sparks of green lightning seen inside them, “Should we be worried about that…?”
“...Fuck…”
“Cozy?” Leona pulled away, making sure Yuu was completely covered by the blanket. The prefect was curled up on the couch, sniffling and getting themselves fully comfortable before nodding their head, “Good.” Leona pulled a basket closer, the snacks Ruggie had gathered filling it almost to the top as he offered a juice box to them.
Yuu took the box, the tops of their arms leaving the warmth of the blankets to open the drink. Sipping once from the tiny straw, before speaking, “Thank you…”
“Yeah, yeah. You owe me for this. Coming to school when you were basically sick and then throwing a tantrum like that…you know better, Feral.” but looking at Yuu's pitiful face, he felt his own frown soften. Kneeling down, he pets at Yuu's head, subtly checking for a fever, “...Are you gonna be alright alone?” he asked it so softly Yuu almost missed it.
They smile, sniffling and wiping at their eyes, “Yeah…I think I just need a good cry…if it gets bad, I'll call someone. Promise.”
He nods his head, standing up and walking to the doorway of the lounge, “On or off?” At Yuu's soft call of ‘off’, he flipped the light switch. With the room in darkness, Leona gave one last grunt of goodbye, walking away as he heard Yuu's silent crying turn to choked-back sobs.
Outside of Ramshackle, he noted the shift in weather. The clouds he had noticed on the walk in had completely taken over the sky, still rolling like the bubbles of an overheating potion. And as he stepped onto the path leading away from the building, he saw a growing spark of green lightning. The lights crackling and seeming to follow the path of something, or rather someone walking in the direction to Ramshackle.
Leona sighs, shoving his hands in his pockets and walking forward. Seems like he'd have to be the one to talk to Malleus…
#twisted wonderland#twst#disney twst#twst wonderland#yuu oc#twst savanaclaw#leona kingscholar#ruggie bucchi#jack howl#epel felmier#ace trappola#deuce spade#sebek zigvolt#papa crewel#divus crewel#twist oc#jamil x yuu
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Ep 16
Ohhhjjjh boooiieeeyyyyy...
DAMN! fuck... HiS ARM.MAN L. WHAT.
"Next episode November 15th" Stfu. No it isn't.
That bff post was a slap in the fucking face whaaattt...
Okay... so...
Mark... um... dies. Ok, we all saw in coming, but I must say, it was executed very well. Acting was great, and, it might be embarrassing admitting this, but I was shaking a bit after the fact. Still now as I'm typing this.
It's it this ep where we fully see the dynamic of the Wisp and Petro, and the fact that everyone that has gotten close to Petro dies in the end. (excluding Alux, guess him and Mark won't ever bond over petro😢)
And I have to say, Mark, from the beginning, would be a footnote character. A memorable character he is, but his main role is to help tell Petro's story. He was not meant to last long, and he fully delivered in his purpose with the time he was here. If he ever comes back, like in a reviving or as an apparition that haunts petro, that'd be great! But, I think this might be the end of the Petrak Metro train. It was fun riding, but we have now arrived at our destination of mincraft yaoi angst.
On thing that was interesting to me, was how Petro behaved in this ep. Before Mark DIED, he was arrogant and snarky about his rule and power. It's was similar behavior to how Petro acted when he betrayed Alux at the cliff side. The only difference between the two interactions was that Petro was much more vulnerable with Mark. That just makes me think, if he was going to kill Mark in the end, it wouldn't have happened this quickly. This was from the Wisp. I think, the reason Petro seemed so distant and less emotional when he betrayed Alux, is that he made himself emotionally numb so that he wouldn't grieve for feel guilty about Alux's "death". At least not in the moment from the action. In this instance of Marks death, he nor the Wisp had the time to condition him to be prepared for the death.
And the Wisp says such an interesting line...
"Now look what you made me do"
Petro didn't do shit other than be slightly emotionally vulnerable to someone. He did not "make" the Wisp do anything, her killing mark and taking over Petro's mind for a brief period was all of her own volition.
The thing I'm excited to see from Petro now is that, when will the Victim become the Victor? I've said this before (on my now delete acc) that Petro will end up alone in a war he started for the sake of the Wisp.
The thing I want to see from Petro is, when does the vulnerable little boy that first met the Wisp end, and the man that is responsible for the death of millions of innocent lives in the name of the Angel of Darkness begins?
(Right now he's in-between with only two kills but he'll get there ;])
#alux rising#favremysabre#ar petro#ar mark#guys do you think petro and mark will get a happy ending? 😊#anyways assassin!sabre has become my comfort character and i need him desperately after this ep 🤧🤧🤧😭😭😭😭#but im excited for super duper ultra mega evil angsty Petro#>:]
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Boycott!
Tia… Apparently "Beetlejuice 2" came out (Now there's a wave of it like with everything else), but I don't care, sorry, I'm not a Burton fanatic, a few good jokes and nice shots are never enough for me (That's why I was never fan of the movie "Avatar", for me its hype is too inflated, because the only thing that shows good computer graphics, but the story is meh)
And yes, I grew up watching Tim Burton's Willy Wonka, but even that didn't make me like his work, hello, I didn't even watch "Wendstey" and then everyone was talking about it and making memes out of it…
My taste is specific, I often like things that others don't like (Reboot "Ben 10" and "Be Cool Scooby Doo") and I don't like things that others love ("Rick and Morty" as it was popular, actually, I'm still not a fan of this, sorry, not enough moments that I liked, or "Violetta", someone explain to me why this shit was popular? It was boring and characters as dimensional as Bill Cipher's…)
My taste is simply too different (Maybe because of my origins, but still, it doesn't matter that something is cult if I don't like it…)
And yes, my memories of the movie BJ are so meh, and the end of the movie left me with a bad taste… I don't know, it's just a typical problem with Burton's work, I have the impression that as a director and creator he is overrated (I don't know what word put it here, ok?)
And yes, I have ASD (Before someone with Ableism gets away from me, I'm a person with ASD, so I can say that I don't like his work, I'm a weirdo myself and I have strange taste, but it doesn't change the fact that I have problems with his work, I'm sorry, but I won't change it, I can't fully describe what I don't like, because because of ASD I have problems with describing my feelings, so, as I mentioned, I appreciate the look of the shots and a few gags, but even that won't make me love something, I can't be bought that easily, I need honest character dynamics, and this is something what bothers me about his work, I know, We, people with ASD, have a problem with showing emotions in some cases, or with describing them, but something just doesn't feel right to me and I really can't describe it, the only way I can describe it is that it's quite… Stiff? I know, maybe it doesn't fit to describe what I feel, but I don't feel that the characters reflect each other or have any relationship with each other, the only thing they have in common is the script and dialogues… I'm also tired of the fact that sometimes there is a forced romance, I know, a typical problem with hetero relationships in productions, but it just looks like "Hey, he's straight, so don't worry "that he's a hidden gay or something," but okay, it's a common problem, especially in the last century and at the beginning of this one, which doesn't change the fact that I have my problems with Burton, so yes, even reboots that are hated, at least give something in return, i.e. character dynamics, so you understand, it's a problem that is difficult for me to describe as a person with ASD, but even I have something that doesn't suit me…)
I guess the fandom will hate me for having the nerve to talk about the problems I have with something that's iconic in the USA… But I just can't convince myself that I like something because it's iconic, sorry I have different tastes , but it's not my fault, there's nothing wrong with liking something and there's nothing wrong with not liking something, if it makes you happy and helped you get through a difficult period (GF, vocaloid and musical BJ, that happened to me…), then it's ok if they harass you for liking it (Because they consider it immature or cringe) then that's fine it's their problem, not you, it's the same if you don't like something (Sorry, I'm not a Lydia X Beetlejuice fanatic, I don't like a ship based on a long-time demon and a minor character… Relationship? Okay, lovers? sus)
Now that I have your attention:
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I'm writing again, it irritates me, I often don't know what to write, which is why I often see the text "Boycott" and a GIF, or I write and I start to worry that the collections won't reach people because they won't read it to the end…
My feelings towards the Beetlejuice/Tim Burton movie will probably also cause a lot of controversy… Eh… It's less of a worry than the fact that the collections don't arrive…
I'm just tired of the fact that many great artists are underrated, and those who often create something bland are the most overrated, we have so many great creators, but they can't stand out and that's something that really depresses me, I want more artists with ASD and they can prove it even to Burton that they know the dynamics of characters, I just want more creators with ASD, give them a fucking chance, why do they have to not have a diagnosis to achieve anything? This sucks…
#free palestine#cartoon#cartoonist#palestine#israel is a terrorist state#israel#free gaza#gaza#palestina#save the children#save family#beetlejuice 2#tim burton#gravity falls#billford#the book of bill#disability rights#asd#deadpool#deadpool and wolverine#deadpool 3#hatsune miku#vocaloid#beetlejuice#beetlejuice 1988#ranting#rant post#personal rant#rant#I don't like Burton
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Common ADHD traits/experiences I've heard of !!
(I was gonna make a post about why I might be neurodivergent but I figured it'd be going a bit too personal. Also this is just easier)
(ADHD is much more nuanced and complex than I may make it appear in this post. A lot of ADHD people don't have a lot of these traits or have traits not mentioned here. For example there are three types of ADHD (inattentive, hyperactive and combined) and most inattentive adhders are not going to be hyperactive lol)
Warning: badly worded (I'm stupid that's my excuse). also I'll go on personal rants as to how some of these may apply to me (whilst I can reasonate with each point listed here I won't go on a rat on all of these)
Physical hyperactivity (inability to sit/stand still (I used to think this meant that people with ADHD were incapable of. Sitting down (while constantly fidgeting or not) for one whole class)(I was an idiot)(I still am)). (Just overall constant , movement (I might have it idk I'm ALWAYS
Excessive talking
Stimming, fidgeting, general and overall repetitive movements (such as flapping hands, pacing, clasping hands together, etc)
Low attention span regarding things that don't garner much interest to you
More likely to be autistic, have anxiety or depression (or generally have other diagnostic conditions)
Ability to Hyperfocus on specific things, at times out of their control
More likely to have a lower Performance in school that most people
Proneness to addiction
Rejection sensitive dysphoria/RSD (really sensitive and afraid to rejection or criticism or disapproval or stuff like that. I'm questioning if I have it and I'm pretty sure I do bc i would have a whole breakdown bc i accidentally had a bad unintentional thought about this cool person I didn't want to hate me)(it's complicated)
Emotional disregulation (easily irritable, excited, stressed, stronger emotions, more likely to lash out, etc)(people with this are usually described to be much more emotional)
restless leg syndrome (except it's permanent lol)
Lower memory spans regarding most things
Forgetting to fulfill basic needs (such as eating, drinking, showering, etc)
Women/AFAB people are more likely to be diagnosed with inattentive ADHD (this of course does not rucking mean afab people can't b hyperactive my god)
Mental hyperactivity (racing/constant/overlapping/repetitive thoughts or stuff like that)
Impulsivity (doing stuff without thinking them fully though or not knowing why)
Sensory issues (sensitivity to sensory output such as noise, brightness, etc)
Easily bored/underwhelmed/understimulated - more likely to want to seek constant dopamine (due to l
Easily overwhelmed (whether itd be due to aforementioned sensory issues, emotional disregulation, rsd or stuff like that)
More likely to be perceived as "childish" (from what I've heard obviously this and many other things listed here don't apply to everyone)
Executive dysfunction (can't do shit at all)(ok it's more complicated than that just Google it up or something)
Having Hyperfixations (things you're DEEPLY invested in for a period of time, it can be a few days, weeks, months, sometimes more than a year, depends rly)(I'm still questioning if I'm neurodivergent but like I'm pretty sure I was in a DEEP hyperfixation mode when it came to sonic for like. A YEAR. like I literally it was literally the only thing on my brain the only thing in my life. and I would get realllytyy excited about learning obscure information about it or infodumping and I would flap my hands bc of how excited and passionate I was Abt it)(man I miss the times when I was so passionate about stuff I liked it was so fun :(( )
Higher/lower levels of empathy (I've seen this moreso been brought up with discussions regarding autism but I've also seen it brought up with ADHD itself too)
Lower levels of dopamine
Impatience
More likely to be a maladaptive daydreamer
Its cause is usually heavily genetic (meaning if your family or a family member has ADHD, you are more likely to have ADHD yourself)
More likely to have insomniac/have general problems with sleep (I'm questioning ADHD. I'm writing this like... Five hours before I'm supposed to wake up for school. Great.)
There is also a higher relevance between ADHD and PTSD
If I missed something important let me know!! Also if you don't know some of he
This post is not meant to be used as a substitute for self nor professional diagnosis, though if you feel like you might have ADHD because of this post I recommend further research and conversations with trusted advisors such as parental figures or therapists/doctors (not me not listening to my own advice)(<- that was me regarding my latter advice)(I'm too scared to tell my parents about it man)(idk why)
Things to note:
ADHD is not just about little elementary school hyperactive white boys !!
There's a lot of things I mightve missed
Not everyone with ADHD has all these traits (obviously)
Some of these traits may be common due to the commonness of ADHD + autism overlap (idk though)
Apparently it's one of the most diagnosed forms of neurodivergence in kids (about 7-10% of kids in the USA are diagnosed with ADHD)(APPARENTLY idk)
There's more but I'm tired right now byeeee
#adhd#adhd brain#adhd things#attention deficit hyperactivity disorder#attention deficit disorder#neurodiverse#actually adhd#actually neurodiverse#neurodiversity#actually neurodivergent#neurodivergent#neurodivergence#yeahh idk what else to tag#nd#adhd symptoms#adhd traits#adhd symptom
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I've been reading lots of whump stuff cus I love it (in a writer way I'm not a freak) and the only characters ik well enough to write this way are tua characters. Only characters I have truly analyzed for probably hundreds of hours. Can't figure out who I wanna write.......
Comic five and Netflix five are very different... There wasn't any crafting of five during his time at the commission in the show, so I assume he didn't go through like. A bunch of pain.
He's probably gotten hella hurt in his 45 years in the apocalypse like . Spraining his ankle a week after getting there and having to deal with that w no medical care (this is sparking it's own fic helpme I love writing ppl spraining their ankles ig???) . Also there's hargreeves' whole tattoo thing making it clear he would make them withstand pain even when they were young so they could withstand it as adults.
So clearly he (and everyone else) have high pain tolerances, but most of them haven't experienced like fully on torture.
Luther got his entire body changed after getting hella hurt in a mission but like he was asleep during a nerve crippling transformation so he'd probably be easy ASF to break, but also, sorry Luther, I don't really wanna write a fic abt him 😭
Diego got shot and didn't gaf, same with getting two fingers chopped off, so clearly his pain tolerance is one of the larger ones and again, LOVE Diego but I kind wanna write a fic abt five or Klaus not any of the others cus I'm BIASED 😭
Allison knows EMOTIONAL pain all too well, but I feel like she probably 'rumor'ed things into not hurting lots of times so she probably doesn't have a crazy high pain tolerance. There was her getting her throat slit but that whole ordeal with how she acted was more "I can't believe I just got my throat slit and I'm gonna die now, also I can't talk" ,not being in multiple different forms of pain all at once. (Not Including emotional pain. I mean like multiple wounds)
Klaus. KLAUS. I reallyyy wanna break him bc he got tortured by cha-cha and hazel and literally didn't give two shits. He also was at war for 10 months I imagine he got some pretty hefty injuries during that. He also has multiple tattoos.
But with cha-cha and hazel I don't feel like they were very creative?? Maybe I'm just a little excessive when it comes to thinking of dif torture methods for characters but like. A few cuts, punches, and waterboarding?? They were in a hotel room so they were limited but holy hell I wanna write him actually getting taken back to the commission and to the torture department (we all know its gotta exist. It's the fucking commision) and getting ACTUALLY dug into. Time doesn't exist at the commission so employees don't age -- but you can very well die there.(As we know from fives little killing sprees with grenades ♥️). Head canon the torture section has like specific rooms where time is so fucked you can be tortured past the point of death but instead of dying you stay in that pain until you heal. (Makes no sense, but plot purposes, ok? 😭). Imagine a character (Klaus in this instance) staying in that terrible amount of pain for days, weeks, months until they heal and they're fresh to be cut right back into. After a while (several months, years for the character [Klaus] bc he was shoved in that room to heal for periods of time every day [commission time, not in-the-room time] to heal until they dug back into him the next day) they realize he genuinely doesn't have the information they want so they throw him on the doorstep of the academy. They would have thrown him there on the brink of death and not given a damn if he died but they were only a teensy but into their torture session when they gave up after months and tossed him on those steps. (Again, plot purposes, I don't want him dying so let's just say he wasn't on the brink of death just mildly injured when they tossed him on the doorstep)
But also I propose another fic where they keep him and have him brainwashed kinda and is forced to be back around his siblings without them knowing anything that happened to him to get information for the commission. If he tells them he's immediately killed but if he even unintentionally says something wrong he's shot with pain through some device they have on/in him so they have control of him like a damn dog with a shock collar . Anyways
So I'm thinking abt writing one of those OR.
Five. Would love to break him as well.
Same circumstances (almost) as Klaus except this is before he ever got back to his family. I also present: this is before he's old. I mean he can be 13 or 25 idc just younger. I'd actually really love to write it as him but like 16. And the commission takes him and has him doing all these things(assassinations and such). But they also like. Experiment?? On him? Like incorporating the whole every assassins genes thing from the comics but more in depth and with my own twist(s). Lets say they have a device that erases what happened to someones body , or parts of it, however much they want (except, for plot purposes five still remembers cus he has time traveling powers that somehow collide with the device making him still remember, but his body is rewound. Makes absolutely no sense but again, plot purposes.) that way they can experiment as much as they'd like without him just being that way permanently or dying. Example; extremely exaggerated like. Body mods? Like seeing what chopping his damn limbs off and giving him crazy cyborg limbs would do. If he would be an even better assassin if he was that way (he would. Obviously)
But I really wanna write him like not breaking at all until they start pulling at the "just one more test and we'll let you see your family" but what he doesn't know (at the time) is that 90% of the time they don't and when they DO it's not him being let free it's them showing him his siblings during their worst moments and him thinking their lives are just terrible and it's his fault and he shouldn't even save them he should listen to the commission and let the apocalypse happen and and and yeah
Okay guys... Erm...h... Also hope I don't get into another car wreck for writing some fanfics (I love milking that LMAO)
#the umbrella academy#umbrella academy#tua#ermmm what the scallop#five hargreeves#number five#tua s4#tua season 4#klaus hargreeves#five#apocalypse five hargeeves
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I really REALLY need to tell you my hc that Luffy and Usopp sleep in the same bed 98.37% of the time. They are EXTREMELY hard to seperate.
When Usopp first joins the strawhats along with Merry, the boys have to make do with what they have. And that includes taking turns sleeping in the hammocks. Now I'm going to reference that pic where Luffy is hanging down on Usopp's body from his hammock. Also the one where Zoro and Sanji sleep on the floor face to face. That one. One time Luffy actually falls into Usopp's hammock but neither of them realize it and in the morning the sniper might have hit his head when falling on the floor from the sudden surprise. But then it became a usual thing and both of them were becoming closer friends so eventually Usopp just proposed them sleeping together since they're gonna end up like that in the end. Of course the more they travelled, they got bunks for comfort, because sleeping on the floor/couch got annoying.
Then Water 7 happens and Usopp is devastated. He really wants to go back to them snuggling but he feels like if he offers it right after what happened to them it would feel like he didn't feel sorry at all, which is not true. And besides, Sunny has all the comfort you could ever want, so no more "well, if you're gonna slip into my bunk anyways, why not just share it from the start" excuse.
However, Luffy's thought process is a little different. He gets a little confused as to why Usopp still hasn't invited him over. Well, the sniper apologized, they had an emotional reunion, spent the rest of the day together and now they won't even snuggle like they did before? Something's gotta be up.
So as soon as Luffy makes his decision, he "slips" into Usopp's bunk and hugged the shit out of the sniper, making sure he wasn't going anywhere. Usopp let him stay. He wanted to anyways.
So since then, their habit of sharing one bed and cuddling was fully established. Oh boy, I sure hope they don't get seperated again only for a longer period of time.
No listen you literally read my mind! I’ve literally been thinking about this idea nonstop I’ve it written in my draft somewhere. Still think about that moment post dressrosa where usopp just goes to sleep right on top of luffy and no one bats an eye lol(really tried to find a pic of it but it isn’t in my tag ://) it was just business as usual for everyone but there’s no way that’s the first time that’s happened. They definitely sleep together all the time. It’s just second nature to them to just curl around each other and fall asleep.
And oh w7 ;-; the most devastating arc my beloved <3 neither of them sleeps during their separation(i dont actually have long they were apart but I’m pretty sure it was just one night considering how fast paced one piece is but it was a very looong night either way with Usopp staying up working on the merry while luffy just tossing and turning until he just ends up staring out over that rooftop where nami finds him the following morning telling her he was looking out for robin but really he was just looking out the sea to where the merry was docked🥲)
and ofc luffy would be the one to push past the awkwardness because once usopp apologized that was it he had already forgiving him the moment he saw usopp on that bridge screaming at him to keep fighting(still think about how ready luffy was to bring him to the crew immediately post ennies lobby until zoro knocked some sense into him lol) there was no way he was going another sleepless night without him
#sorry for rambling it’s just#I’ve so many thoughts about lusopp and w7 best arc lol#love interpersonal conflict wish there was more that wasn’t just zoro and sanjis pissing contest#lusopp#asks#thank you for sending this!#love talking to ppl but I also get so anxious about dm ppl bc I can’t hold a conversation to save my life lol#hcs asks
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Jancy is my home alright? No question about it, but STANCY OH STANCY, not exaggerating it, not even kidding but the emotions I feel towards them cannot be described by words at all! All that I can say is they're my guilty pleasure, and I'd love them even if I tried not to, and even if I tried to hate them (I'm talking about the couple, not the individuals just to be clear, I'll forever love Steve and I'll forever love Nancy from the bottomest core of my heart).
And to be honest I did, I did try to dislike them together, because I used to think in order to love Jancy I needed to hate Stancy, or rather because subconsciously I felt like I was choosing Jonathan over Steve and I never wanna compare them, I love them both differently, but I had a small epiphany, which is I don't think characters define by their romantic relationships, and I think that sense somehow helped me to understand that I love both the ships, even though for me, Jancy is slightly on top.
But here's the twist, which is why I don't know if I ever liked stancy during stancy. Well during the period, when stancy was actually a thing, when Steve and Nancy were in a relationship.
Now don't get me wrong, Steve loved, in fact loves Nancy more than anyone and anything (Robin and Dustin are exceptions), and honestly I think he loves her more than Jonathan does, he always gave her the princess treatment that most girls ask for, he was the "perfect boyfriend" and yes duh, Nancy loved him a lot too, but her life got so crumbled up before she could even realize that he loved her so much, that he indeed was the perfect boyfriend, If not to anyone else than at least to her.
To her, barb died because of her, because she slept with a boy and left her alone, and even if she doesn't want to she'd subconsciously blame Steve too eventually, right? And despite Steve being that perfect boyfriend, he wouldn't be able to understand her fully, not as much as Jonathan did, because they were going through the same thing at the same time, and of course, the shared trauma, as a bald eagle once said.
Now here comes the point, when Nancy finally got to "bury" Barb, and her life finally came to an equilibrium, well not really, things were never really balanced she just learnt to deal with it, so yeah when she finally learnt to deal with it and befriended Steve again, a lot of things became crystal clear to her which were once blurred with trauma and sadness, to sum it all up, she finally got to understand how amazing of a person Steve really is and how much he looks out, loves and cares for the people he cares about and oh- who's topping the list of all the people he cares about? Yeah right that's her!
And this is the exact reason why season 4 stancy means the world to me, the chemistry is equal from both sides, and to be honest it's kinda hilarious to me, because I didn't like stancy when stancy but I liked stancy when they weren't a thing, and it's not a joke, and yes I know I'm insane and irrational and out of touch but can you save your lecture because I really don't give a shit right now I just- I need to tell you a little something more, about Mileven! Which is, this whole thing that I wrote is kinda familiar to a way I view Mileven because to me it's kinda hilarious too that Mike can't say or even write "I love you" to his girlfriend, but if they break up, he can finally say "I love you" to his ex girlfriend because whether they're in a relationship or not, they're soulmates and absolute best friends. Period!
#stranger things#nancy wheeler#steve harrington#stancy#jancy#jonathan byers#mike wheeler#el hopper#byler#< target audience#i think all the other tags except for the first four are not totally related#but there's something related to those ones too so yeah
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You said last month that it's not Ekko if he's not involved in activism, anarchism, just actively doing shit to make a change. I absolutely agree. But you also said you "come out of a particular background and that means [you] have certain thoughts and approaches to social change that leave out things that others do and are involved in". Would you please elaborate further on that? Not just for writing Ekko, but for the sake of knowing and maybe applying to real life. You made me curious.
So I sat on this for a while not because I didn't want to answer it but because I wanted to answer it thoughtfully, and I've typed out some things that didn't feel right, but I'm going to try again now.
I tried to find the exact context for where I said that and I failed lol so I am working off memory, but again I will try.
So in terms of background, I'm a Black American. When I was young, I pretty much assumed that my family history would be depressing and I didn't want to look into it. And some of that is there: family trees that get lost once you hit enslavement, dysfunction you can pretty much trace right back to that period, having to explain to people that your family is on the light side not because of consensual relationships but because you're from one of those states that exported slaves, you get the deal. A byproduct of this is that by the time I was an adult and wanted to dig into it and found that there was actually a lot to learn, many of the elders I wanted to learn from had passed on.
That, mixed in with me trying to understand my... financially turbulent?? life led me to engage with black radical thinkers as an adult. And that led into left-wing politics in general. So that's like half of it.
The other half is I've always been the type of person who likes a hands-on problem. My approach to social change has always just been "find a problem and throw myself at it." And that translated into a social service background. Even now, to pay for my classes, I work in social services at my university, still throwing myself at a problem that's sort of followed me around for a decade or so now. I'm not in love with the conditions of trying to fight a problem within the walls of an institution that helps perpetuate them, but for me, the immediacy of people's needs supersedes any need I feel for ideological consistency.
On top of that, I study race. And media. So imagine my excitement when I see Ekko!
I don't know that I've ever encountered a character who checked so many boxes. He sees problems and throws himself at them. He practices radical compassion with people struggling with substance use. AND their victims. And even though he's fighting Silco, he knows that the problems in the city go straight to the top (I oughta write a fic someday where he does make it across the bridge and gets to yell at the council because he so deserves that).
He grieves. I've said before that grief is the emotion that has most defined my adult life. I feel like I'm always grieving. And Ekko models how you do that and keep moving. Rather than giving into the hopelessness of the setting, he creates a place where people can heal and be their best selves. AND HE HAS NATURAL HAIR!!! My natural hair journey is another story but it's honestly tied up in all of this lol.
He's like a treasure trove of things that matter to me, honestly. I'm not even sure how much I realized it at first. But as time passed, I'd keep going back to this character and thinking. His revolutionary spirit is truly to be admired. And I think that evolution in how I've thought about him comes through pretty clearly in my writing, as I come to fully embrace a bottom-up style of conceptualizing revolutionary thought and practice. I know I'll grow and change as I get older, learn more, and do more, but at this particular moment, I think Ekko has a lot of value for me.
So what am I not interested in? Off the top of my head...
versions of the character that leave out that political dimension. I'm not inserting politics into the show. The division between what is political and isn't is a false one. If the politics aren't registering, that's because they're close to the politics of the status quo
which is not to say I think everybody has to write him with politics fully foregrounded, but I wish more people would, you know?
and speaking of the politics, not really interested in ones that aren't radical. Not trying to pass a certain purity test, but we can keep in mind that Misfit Toys shows Scar beating up a dummy Enforcer, in gear. Which they probably got by fighting them. Fun!
another thing I think is key and I would like to see engaged with more is that Ekko doesn't view people using shimmer as enemies. I honestly wonder whether the Firelights know as much as they do about Silco's stuff because they have members who formally worked in the syndicate.
and I bring that up because another thing that the show as a whole and Ekko's interactions with Jinx invite us to think about is not viewing anyone as too far gone. I think in the rush to clearly delineate good and evil, we make too many lines and ignore the material conditions that motivate and contextualize people's actions.
and on that note, I don't like to make Ekko a paragon. I think casting him as a pure soul who is working tirelessly for his people ignores his indignation at the situation around him and how he is actively choosing, every day to do the things he does. I like to keep agency foregrounded.
To close, I wanna share some quotes, because y'all know I love reading revolutionaries.
“It is necessary that the weakness of the powerless is transformed into a force capable of announcing justice. For this to happen, a total denouncement of fatalism is necessary. We are transformative beings and not beings for accommodation.” —Paulo Freire, Pedagogy of the Oppressed
“We have chosen a different path to achieve better results. We have chosen to establish new techniques. We have chosen to seek forms of organization that are better adapted to our civilization, abruptly and once and for all rejecting all kinds of outside diktats, so that we can create the conditions for a dignity in keeping with our ambitions. We refuse simple survival. We want to ease the pressures, to free our countryside from medieval stagnation or regression. We want to democratize our society, to open up our minds to a universe of collective responsibility, so that we may be bold enough to invent the future. We want to change the administration and reconstruct it with a different kind of civil servant. We want to get our army involved with the people in productive work and remind it constantly that, without patriotic training, a soldier is only a criminal with power. That is our political programme.” —Thomas Sankara, Speech before the General Assembly of the United Nations
“Let me just say: Peace to you, if you're willing to fight for it.” —Fred Hampton
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