#i'm insane about them i'm not even going to pretend otherwise

[moonchild-nissa]

It's hard work to flirt with someone so oblivious

[cherrynflowergarden]

જ⁀➴ we listen and we don't judge || matt sturniolo

sturniolo masterlist taglist

it started with an innocent suggestion. “babe, let’s try this tiktok trend,” she said, holding up her phone as she settled onto the couch.

matt raised an eyebrow, clearly skeptical. “what trend?”

“you know, the ‘we listen and we don’t judge’ one. people tell their unhinged stories, and we just… don’t judge.”

he smirked, leaning back with his arm lazily draped around her shoulders. “you’re gonna judge them. you’re the queen of side-eye.” “i will not,” she said indignantly, though the hint of a smile gave her away. “come on, it’ll be fun!” “fine.” he adjusted his hoodie and nodded. “but if this gets outta pocket, don’t look at me like it’s my fault.”

she clicked record, grinning at the camera. “okay, so we’re doing the ‘we listen, we don’t judge’ challenge. i have a bunch of these to say. ready?”

“born ready,” he replied, though the confused glint in his eyes suggested otherwise.

she took a deep breath and said aloud “‘i used to fake passing out during pe class so i didn’t have to run laps. one time, they called an ambulance, and i had to pretend to wake up ‘confused’ just to keep the lie going.’”

he blinked at her, then let out a sharp laugh. “nah, that’s crazy. you’re telling me they had the whole ambulance rolling up, lights flashing, for fake fainting?!”

“babeeeeee! we’re not judging!” she scolded, though she was giggling too.

“i’m not judging—i’m… i’m admiring. yeah. that’s commitment. but also, imagine having to keep that up for the rest of the semester.” he mimicked a dazed expression. “‘oh no, i can’t run laps. what if i pass out again?’”

she shoved his shoulder playfully. “stop. your turn”

“okay so one time in high school this girl won’t stop asking me out, so to avoid her i pretended to be nick.” she blinked, shocked at this revealed fact. “…woah?” matt laughed at her stated and gestured her to continue.

“fine so you remember your favourite hoodie that ‘got lost’? yeah well it’s lying in my cupboard right now and i use it whenever i miss you.” she said innocently. matt gasped loudly, “you thief! but it’s kinda sweet actually.”

“moving forward, i became obsessed with your skincare products after you did my skincare once.” he confessed. she let out a huge dramatic gasp hearing this. “so this is the reason i keep running out of the products!”

“hey no judgement.”

“urg so i keep on raiding your secret chocolate sash and blame it on chris every time you ask me” before he could even react and loud “what” was heard behind the camera from the youngest brother. the video cut to next scene where matt sided eyed his girlfriend before he said the last confession of the challenge.

“i download your voicemails and listen to them when i—”

before he could finish the sentence, a flying pillow was thrown his way cutting off the inappropriate thing he was about to say.

“mattew there are children on the app” she gasped. “you said no judging” matt said, faking confusion.

“that was before you broke the rules of decency.” was the last thing the camera could capture.

view comments

user1

HELLOOO THE LAST PART????????

→ user2 RIGHT LIKE MATT EXPLAINNN🌝

user5

mama y papa

user6

user7 could be us but you playing me😔

→ user7 i'm just playing video games?

→ user6 still playing me😔

→ user7 i'm so confused babe?

yourusername

user6 n user7 are my otp😇

chrissturniolo

dada

→ yourusername ...woah?

→ chrissturniolo 😹

user13

faking fainting is insane

→ user12 so is faking identity

user4

they're so 😕😕😕😕💔💔💔💔

user8

do you need a dog i can bark WOOF WOOF

→ user9 dude?

→ user8 grETA GET OUT

mattsturniolo

🫶🫶

user3

i hate happy couples 🤗🤗🤗

an; it's 5 am rn and i had the sudden motivation to write just now :D

tags: @eirianna @thebasicbiatch @katamcauley @wxnyzie @lilmear-blog @vrlixlia @star-fuck-off @embonbon @idkversace @annawilk @r0nnsblog @weluvwbb @c1ydessturniolo @vintagebishx @maddie-bell @timmdmdm @happydiplomatshepherdspy-blog @crispycitrus @faith-f1 @escapentropy @florscons @carlossainzwho @luckylampzonkland @lewisroscoelove @mudryklover @rageshots @dontworryaboutit007 @chair-things @myangelbaby555 @sheesh1311 @f1lovely @silia1raf @blahbel668 @my-dinos-life-is-good @ssturniolo92 @lilly6110 @lou-larcher5 @arminluvrr @mxryxmfooty @gabri3la-sturns @bellsboops @f1-and-shiz @emely9274 @starstrucktyrantinfluencer @kayla-hearts4sturniolo @unx100to @strnlslut

@mattslovergirlie @sarakpalsd @sweetobservationface @shadowthesim @mattslolita @cupiidk1lls @urloveanaa @t1llysblog @meatball10 @fiowerbeds

[gatheredfates]

Playerscope, modding and the hunt for aesthetic: why you should be more upset about mods and community expectations than you already are.

I love that this sounds like an academic paper but HONESTLYYYY. I need to put my thoughts to paper in regards to my burnout with xiv, otherwise I think I'll go insane. This is a controversial yet brave post. I am well aware that I partake in some of the things I'm going to be critiquing; aka, "thank you, dinklebottom, we live in a society." I'm also not critiquing mods from a space of offering more accessibility to people and/or facilitating representation not currently offered within the context of the game. There is nuance to every discussion and I'm coming at this from an overarching view around mods and community expectations/standards rather than player joy. I hope this makes sense. I'm also predominately writing from a roleplay perspective, though I'm sure a lot of what I end up saying can reflect in the art party/social space. Just know if I haven't mentioned the latter it's because that's not my scene and I don't pretend to know otherwise.

Anyway. For those who don't know, there's a new mod that's causing some strife in the xiv community called Playerscope. Here is the reddit thread about it. I'm not going to be talking too much about the mod in general because that's not the point of this post, but seeing discussion around it today just made me feel more exhausted than I already am when it comes to modding and the xiv community around it. It made me realise... I'm actually really sick to death of mods. I'm sick to death of what they're doing to the community when it comes to gatekeeping, policing and in general the interactions we have with each other in the community.

Let me explain: I wrote a post about the roleplay mod on bsky that kind of articulates at a surface level what I mean.

I think what makes me sad, which I'm sure is echoed by a lot of people, is that mods feel like the standard now rather than an option and that there's a certain expectation for people to have them if they want to engage with facets of the community—whether intentional or not.

Unlike XIV, WoW has a supported mod scene (within reason) and TRP 2 and the like have been accepted for years now. In a space where people can't slap on an RP tag, having that tool readily identifies you as a writer/roleplayer and you can include as much or as little of your character as you like. The general idea is if you have one of these tools enabled, you're a roleplayer to some capacity. You can dress up the profile to a certain degree, you can add links and supported pictures, but you're mostly reliant on what you put to paper in regards to your character. Even then, I find filling out what my character is doing currently and marking the rest as a WIP doesn't necessarily exclude me from roleplay if I want to find it. A lot of people will do that and a super simple description to incite interest around their oc.

These days in XIV... I don't know. I do think communities have gotten more insular—it's why I'm so pedantic about trying to find them for the Compendium—but I also think mods and, to a certain extent, the 'nightclub' scene have gotten in the way of it as well. My argument is such.

I want to go to an event (for example sake, I'll call it Seascape). In order to fully participate, I may need:

Their discord.

A roleplay addon.

A carrd/google site/etc.

Their synchshell (including mods, mare and everything else)

Potentially a mod of some description so people know I can see theirs (and vice versa).

Also that your mod isn't made by a shitty person.

Appropriate understanding of the scene/social space.

Some luck and a prayer that it's an inclusive space and not a closed rp group advertising as being open and/or a mod showcase advertising itself as something different.

Like??? Holy shit you guys. If you are someone who doesn't want to mod because you're worried about repercussions it really just feels like a big 'fuck you, good luck'.

And let me be clear, not every community is like this. I'm incredibly lucky to have found fantastic roleplay within my own rp event/community, I have great friends who run awesome, inclusive events for people of any skill (writing or otherwise) and I do fully believe you can just enable the rp tag and find fun, fulfilling roleplay. But I've also found the above a lot of times, too. I've had people point-blank get mad at my partner because he won't install mods and try to exclude and/or circumvent him in spaces. It's weird. I've been to events where the only time I felt like I got proper interaction(s) was when I joined the aforementioned, even if I have my character's profile linked in my about. It's weird.

Honestly, no wonder new roleplayers feel overwhelmed. Not only do they have to learn roleplay etiquette, they have to be a mod expert overnight? It feels less about what someone can bring to the table as far as a story but what mods they can install to either look cool or pass an unspoken social barrier. As much as I'm down bad for aesthetic and looking the part, I hate it being at the cost of accessibility and fun for someone else.

Arguably it's the same for gposing and the like as well, which contributes to my exhaustion alongside all the graphical changes and I just. I'm gnawing at the bars of my cage.

I don't think it's going to change and arguably it's more of a Twitter/X issue than a Tumblr, one but Tumblr lets me write mini essays and Twitter will tell me to kms.

Ergo, I'll go with the essay-writing platform.

Anyway, I guess this is just a reminder that you don't need 4596419651 mods to be in the community and that people should be more vigilant on including people who don't have them for whatever reason, provided they operate in good-faith and want to contribute. I think we're careening to a slippery slope of expectation for something unsupported and I don't like it.

[chiisana-sukima]

nine people i want to get to know better

Thank you for the tag, @slutsons-blog! Starting a new post because I'm autistic and therefore mostly only care about the "Current Obsession" question, and want to ramble excessively as usual in that one.

Last song: Pokemon Mystery Dungeon Red Rescue Team: Pokemon Square because I'm currently playing Pokemon Mystery Dungeon with my daughter. Otherwise I honestly couldn't tell you. Whatever was on in my car.

Fave color: Purple

Currently watching: Star Trek Discovery

Last movie: Knives Out

Sweet/spicy/savory: Sweet, tart, salty

Relationship: married x 27 years

Last thing I googled: the word "dependent", for spelling assistance. which is a good thing because I spelled it "dependant".

Current Obsession: it's been spn since 2016. Truly we are the Hotel California of media franchises. I did recently play Disco Elysium twice in a row in quick succession, and I follow the DE tag. I can't recommend the game highly enough.... but I can feel my Special Interest-level obsession with it fading already. Spn has never faded even a tiny bit and I wonder if it ever will.

@slutsons-blog I feel after reading that you're watching spn for the first time, that I did you a bit of a disservice with my Sam takes to you before in that I mostly talked about Sam's evolution as a character as the show goes on and very little about him from the first five seasons.

Gotta be honest and tell you that although I liked both brothers all along, I was a Dean girl until the end of s6/beginning of s7, when the balance of who gets whumped the most started shifting and my subconscious suddenly decided to switch allegiances. It's not that I liked Dean any less; my id just loves a sopping wet pathetic kitten of a man who has been sexually abused, and Sam got suddenly way more kitteny and pathetic after the Cage. So I don't actually have a ton of takes on "what to love about Sam in the early seasons". I do love early seasons Sam too--she is my beautiful baby princess--but my early seasons takes are a lot more inchoate.

I count myself lucky about my id's sudden defection though, because I think we have limited control of who our blorbos are, and having Dean as a blorbo is a tough row to hoe as the later seasons go along. You know how you noticed that in s6, Dean suddenly gets a lot more assholey without apparent reason? Unfortunately he never gets better again, and in fact keeps getting worse and worse as the years go by, until by the last seasons he is openly far more abusive to their joint child(-in-an-adult body) than John was to him and Sam. It's a realistic picture of what can happen when trauma keeps piling up on people, but it's also honestly pretty distressing, especially if he's your blorbo.

If one is in it for the ship, there's some good destiel content in the later seasons, but if you're in it for Dean, you're left either 1) dealing with the fact he's got extremely significant interpersonal problems that he never gets much of anywhere on solving and that negatively impact his chosen family in profound ways, or 2) pretending he's the same character he was in s1 and Sam is the same Sam from s1, only more boring, and Dean is just trying to put up with him because he was brainwashed by John (or ig 3- something in the middle between those two. But that seldom seems to happen in practice for whatever reason). These two versions of the show are poorly compatible, and that's how the Sam girls and the Dean girls end up in isolated silos. A few people manage to live in both, but not many.

Anyway, I feel like without the context of how Sam and Dean change in the mid to late seasons, the two fics I recc'd as Sam character studies are going to seem insanely Dean-critical, so if you haven't read them yet, you might want to wait until s10. In the meantime, the general recs are fun reads and hopefully do a good job of showcasing both characters earlier on.

Tagging (but I would be a huge hypocrite if I didn't specify there's no pressure to respond, since I almost always fail at responding to tag games myself): @adihildilid @aliusfrater @quietwingsinthesky @sammygender @ardentpoop

@peanutbutterandbananasandwichs @schizosamwincester @normalbrothershow @jellybracelet.

[mylittleredgirl]

unpopular opinion but i really enjoy "field of fire," the ezri dax "to catch a serial killer" episode. for all the scenery chewing and deep space nine's continued vulcan smear campaign, i'm not going to pretend it's objectively the best of the ezri a-plot episodes, but it's my favorite for what it reveals about her.

jadzia was emotional, headstrong, and sometimes impulsive (as was curzon), but ezri is reckless.

of course she is! she's young! she's unqualified for everything that has happened to her, and honestly, so are all her peers. she ran away from a fucked-up home to starfleet at a time when, as we saw with nog, they're field-promoting cadets at top speed to fill the ranks as starfleet suffers massive war casualties. she's more or less the same generation as the red squad cadets on the valiant who decided to fight the dominion war by themselves behind enemy lines.

and she wouldn't be ezri dax otherwise. the reveal in "equilibrium" is a secret known only the symbiosis commission and the starfleet offiers who were physically in the room. to the medical staff on the destiny and ezri tigan herself, the odds of rejection from an improper trill joining are overwhelmingly likely and fatal. but ezri still volunteers to join with dax! she's probably going to die in this uniform anyway, right?

jadzia was a focused, rule-following, straight-a student before she met the party worm, and it took dax a season or two to loosen her up, but ezri was probably already unhinged.

so of course she's the one who decides to take her inner murderer off the leash at the slightest provocation. sisko asks her to help odo out, and ezri somehow interprets this as feeling like she's solely responsible for finding the killer when she only took one class at the academy in forensic psychology and didn't even like it. odo and o'brien are continuing their own investigation off-screen the whole time! meanwhile, she probably had to look up the trill emergence ritual in a book. she has not read the fine print on ANY of this.

and she sticks with this crazy plan, even when it becomes clear that she's right on the edge of becoming a danger to society. but ezri's whole starfleet career, maybe her whole young life of ignoring and plotting her escape from her emotionally abusive family, certainly her whole joined experience, has been lived right on the edge.

all the scenes she has with joran in and around quark's bar to me are her technique for staying grounded in reality. they often happen after joran pushes her too far, so she uses being public as a distraction from that one-on-one intensity—even though it means she looks insane and everyone's staring at her. even joran is like ".... shouldn't you have told sisko about me?" she is full in dax stubbornness on this deeply dubious plan.

and it works!! and in the final account, i think she liked it a little: the power of playing a killer, the power of being stronger than joran, and the soft ending she has with him during reintegration.

her symbiont, her whole life on the station, her friends, her romantic interests, they were all jadzia's first, but jadzia was afraid of joran and would never have played this game. in this one way, ezri has a closer relationship to her unearned symbiont than jadzia did.

ezri's beta canon trajectory of switching to a command track is okay, but it makes me sad to think she'd ditch her chosen career entirely. i could see her getting into criminal psychology. her brother's a murderer (she hasn't unpacked that AT ALL), one of her past hosts was a murderer... with that backstory, she'd do numbers in a federation law & order procedural series. i'd watch it.

but honestly, in the federation spirit of rehabilitation, she might be uniquely qualified to treat violent criminals as well, rather than hunting them down. she could reach in and heal that part of herself and then use that experience to reach others.

[captainjonnitkessler]

Hello again.

I just saw a very vaguely worded prison abolitionist post talking about how 'if you just make the system better, then the amount of people in jail would shrink' which A) feels rather reform-y for a post starting off talking about how no reform is possible, the system is a lost cause...and B) it feels that these people don't get that there are just assholes out there?

Because it goes on this long rant at the end talking about all the things in the system that would need to be fixed, like helping the homeless, having healthcare focused on the mentally ill, lifting up impoverished communities. And honestly, you know what, sure I approve of all of that...

But then the phrase "Next we tackle sexual assault" is uttered without any context or ideas of how to handle it. And I was like oh for fucks sake... Everything else in this post was like, here's the magic button on how to fix this but then SA is just dropped at the end.

I don't know why prison abolitionists lock up and get defensive when it comes to the question of "what about rapists?" but it seems as though they never fully take it seriously. And while I cannot speak to the full intricacies of the prison abolitionist movement, I'm only starting to be exposed because of someone on my dash I'm considering unfollowing, I can speak to statistics when it comes to sexual assault and incarceration.

Because the fact of the matter is that the vast majority of perpetrators of sexual assault will not go to jail. And so handwaving the idea of the few who have have in fact been incarcerated feels so incredibly dismissive of the hell that survivors have to go through to even get a perpetrator in court. It devalues the incredibly hard work done by the survivor to make sure that the perpetrator doesn't skip off into the sunset.

I don't know, it just got my hackles up. I know too well of how many pupatrators slip through the cracks and of how incredibly hard it is to even get a conviction in the first place. And yet prison abolitionists dismiss even the small percent as an afterthought not worth nuanced discussions.

Sorry for dumping this all into your askbox, it just seems to help to be able to type everything out so it's not just swirling in my head...

The constant pattern I see from prison abolitionists is that someone asks okay, so what are we going to do with the murderers? "Well, if we improve social conditions there won't be as many murderers!" Okay cool. But what are we doing with the remaining murderers? "You know, most murderers aren't even caught, so most of them aren't in jail anyway!" Okay cool. So what are we doing with the murderers we do catch? "You know, putting people in jail doesn't bring the victim back. Most murderers don't murder again!" Okay cool. So what do we do with repeat offenders? "Oh my god, I'm so sick of people constantly asking that question when I've answered it a million times!"

And I think it's because at some point you have to argue either a) you are a genuine prison abolitionist and don't believe serial murderers and rapists should be incarcerated, which is insanely unpopular and will cause 99% of people to stop listening to you, b) some murderers and rapists SHOULD be incarcerated, at which point you are arguing for prison reform and not prison abolition (and this will make you A Liberal, which is the worst thing a person can be), or c) if we solve all of society's problems, nobody will ever commit a violent crime ever again because humans are Good At Heart and only ever do bad things out of necessity or poor social conditions.

I think c) is a ridiculously naive view of the world, held by people who shape their view of reality based on their ideology instead of vice-versa, but it's the most palatable option for a lot of people. So you have to pretend that there's some fixable underlying condition that causes people to rape, because otherwise c) won't work and you're back to the other two options.

So yeah, I think a lot of abolitionists - at least the ones I've interacted with - can come off as though they don't care about victims of crime, because admitting that there are serial perpetrators that will not stop as long as they have access to victims really kind of undercuts the entire abolition argument.

[beenbaanbuun]

Bunnnnyyyy I'm having yuyu withdrawals 😭😭

I recently stumbled across the spiderman yuyu edit on Instagram again and it has me running LAPS

Like can you imagine being roommates with photography major spider!yunho, noticing his odd disappearances and late nights but never saying anything, which he appreciates because lord knows he doesn't have the capacity for it rn sinde I'd headcannon this is right after his uncle's desth when he's still in his angry grief era.

But MC would be sweet even though he's cold and kinda mean, she wouldn't be nosy or pry, always asks him to eat with her out of courtesy (which isn't a big deal for her but it kinda chips away at his heart because she's so sweet about it).

Still he maintains certain boundaries till one day he comes home all beat up and bruised, and MC patches him back up, there’s so much tension in the room when she has to peel off his shirt to check the bruises on his sides, when he softly asks why she cares about him so much, when she quietly admits that it's because she likes him-

AKSHSKSHDKSDBJSBZSJ

I'm just..... obsessed with Yunho

-lyra

so this sent me a little insane and i wrote so much more than i was expecting to 😭😭 spidey!yunho has sent me down a rabbit hole and this is what we ended up with…

——————————————————————————“can we eat together tonight?” you ask as you stir the pasta around the pot. you made two portions, as usual, in the sheer hope that he wouldn’t be going out again. “i found this recipe i thought you’d like. i figured it might help cheer you up!” you shrug as if it’s no big deal.

but it is to yunho. as he picks his backpack up from the floor, he feels his heart break just a little. it would be so much easier for him to leave the apartment every night if it wasn’t for the fact that you were such a sweetheart. the fact that you always cook for him whenever you make something for yourself is something that has been slowly chipping away at his hard exterior for months now. the way that you put it in the fridge along with a cute little note whenever he isn’t there to eat with you has almost properlybroken that exterior in two.

yunho can’t deny that half of those precious little notes are stashed in the drawer of his nightstand; he rereads them whenever his emotions get the better of him. seeing the sweet messages scrawled onto the yellow post-it-notes never fails to make him smile. your pretty little words in your pretty little handwriting… he’d be insane not to keep them.

you turn around, taking your attention away from the pot for just a moment, and spot him with his jacket on and his rucksack slung lazily over one shoulder. as your face falls, he can’t help the way his heart breaks just a little more. you probably think you’ve hidden your disappointment well, and to anyone else you might have done. it’s just a shame that yunho is the way that he is, because he sees the way your shoulders deflate and the shadow of a frown disrupts your pretty face. he can practically feel the sadness radiating from you in waves, the hairs at the back of his neck standing up slightly as your not-so-obvious upset puts him on edge.

but then you seem to remember yourself, and within seconds you’ve picked yourself back up and are offering a small smile to him. he still feels that prickling at the back of his neck, though.

although it becomes apparent pretty quickly that that sensation may be caused by his own disappointment, rather than yours. as much as he’d like to pretend otherwise, he can’t deny the way that the feeling in his neck grows as he watches you pull a tupperware from the cupboard. you swap it with his dish - it was really yours, but you’d named it his because it’s red and red reminds you of him, for some reason - and he has to stifle his own frown. for some reason watching you replace the ceramic bowl with the plastic tub hits him right in the chest…

“i’ll put yours in the fridge, then,” you say as you turn back to the pasta and give it a stir, “you can grab it whenever you’re hungry; maybe when you get back tonight?”

sweetheart, his brain repeats over and over like a mantra. it rattles round his skull whilst he tries to find the words to thank you. to let you know just how much he appreciates it, even if he doesn’t always show it. and the words are right there. right on the top of his tongue…

but for some reason he can’t get them out.

“i’ll see you later,” is all he mumbles before he slips out of the doorway and dashes down the hallway to the open window that awaits him at the end.

you try not to let the way the door slams shut hurt you, but even with the strongest will in the world you wouldn’t be able to take away the ache in your chest. he’s just going through a rough patch, you try to convince yourself as you spoon his serving into the tupperware and clip the lid shut. he just needs some time alone after everything that’s happened to him, you think as you slip it into the fridge. it’ll be better soon, you pray as you pull out a pen and think about what to write on his note.

hope this pasta cheers you up, yun! if you like it, let me know and i’ll make it more often for you!!

the words make you cringe, but you slip it next to the tupperware anyway, closing the fridge with a huff. you doubt he even reads the notes anyway, so why does it matter if what you write on them is a little sickly-sweet.

with a sigh you grab your bowl and turn to the couch, ready to settle in and do nothing for the night. as usual, yunho’s portfolio stuff is everywhere, as well as the photos of that one spider-guy that he’s been collecting for his new job at the daily bugle. you hate the newspaper yourself, thinking that the conspiracy-led journalism is nothing but fear mongering nonsense, but you can’t fault yunho for working there; he’s only in it for the money, afterall. it’s just the life of a collage student to have to sell out your morals for a paycheck.

you pick it all up, organising it into somewhat-coherent piles on the coffee table before flopping down onto the ratty sofa and flicking the TV on. the volume is barely at a whisper, and you can’t help but curse yunho for having such good hearing; no doubt he feels the same when he turns the TV on to a deafening wall of sound after you’ve used it. the thought gives you a quick chuckle as you flick through the channels to find something to watch. you settle on a dumb reality show, quickly settling in for the evening so you can eat your pasta in peace.

———

hours pass before yunho returns, swinging the door open and startling you out of your TV-centred tunnel vision. you turn to him in surprise, ready to gently scold him for putting what would no doubt be another dent in the wall. that will have to come out of both of your deposits, you prepare yourself to tell him, but when you actually see him you pause.

he’s hunched up against a wall, chest rising and falling as he struggles to breathe. there’s a wheeze when he inhales, which only gets stronger when he breathes out, and the look of pain on his face that comes each and every time he respires sends you straight into panic mode. you don’t bother to turn the TV off as you stand up and rush towards him.

“fucking hell, yun,” you cry as you reach him. he winces at your shrill tone, drawing back into himself as you invade his personal space to check for injuries. the obvious one is his side, which he’s clutching in his grip like his life depends on it; you assume it’s a cracked rib, which would explain why breathing looks like it’s taking all of his effort. despite its necessity, its a notoriously painful thing to do with a broken rib.

a broken nose can make it difficult too, and as you begin to scan his face, you realise that he definitely has one of those. the way it twists to the side slightly, blood oozing from his right nostril like a faucet makes you flinch back a little, as if you’re the one that’s injured. you compose yourself quickly as you continue your search. black eye, split brow, split lip - the list goes on, but thankfully none of it seems too irreparable. with your basic knowledge of first aid, and yunho’s weirdly extensive first aid kit, you’re bound to have him fixed up in no time.

“bathroom,” you stutter out, taking a step back to give him some space. he almost misses your warmth as he watches you take a few steps towards the room that separates his bedroom from yours. he chases it, pushing himself away from the wall and stumbling after you. he doesn’t know why he wants you so close all of a sudden, but he feels like he needs it to survive. those brief few seconds he had you close somehow made him breathe a little easier. he follows you into the bathroom and shuts the door behind him.

silently, you gesture to the toilet and he takes a seat on the closed lid. his broad torso leans back against the tiles, and he relishes in the way that the cold seeps through his shirt and washes over his too-hot body. his head tips back against it too, and he watches you through hooded eyes as you scramble through the cabinet to find his first-aid kit.

sweetheart, his mind whispers again as you sit there on your knees in front of the cabinet, pushing rolls of toilet paper and bottles of cleaning product to the side. only you could be so adorably caring towards him after all these months of him actively pushing you away. only you would be so worried for him after he’d been trying his hardest to avoid you for months on end.

only you.

that feeling at the back of his neck comes back, only this time it’s stronger. every single hair on his body stands on end as he watches you pull the black bag from the back of the cabinet, whispering a cute little ‘a-ha’ to yourself. he smiles at that, not even bothering to hide it from you when you turn to him with the kit in hand. he doesn’t need to anymore; you’ve already seen everything else he used to hide.

which reminds him of his tattered spider-suit in his grasp. yunho holds out the red spandex for you to take from him, half expecting you to examine it and unveil all his secrets, but you don’t. you don’t even look at it as you toss the filthy fabric into the bathtub and turn the cold tap on. it’s the best for getting blood out, afterall. with little more thought about the piece of fabric, you turn back to yunho and unzip the black bag.

“unbutton your shirt,” you mutter as you pull out some wipes, a tube of antiseptic cream, and a large square bandage. you have no idea if his side is actually bleeding or not, but it’s best to be prepared, right? you look back at him with the materials in hand, only to see him staring back at you with an unreadable look in his eyes.

“what?” you grumble, taking notice of the fact that he hasn’t moved an inch. his hand was still clutched over his side and his shirt was still messily buttoned up. you sigh and move towards him, thinking nothing of it when you drop to your knees between his thighs and begin to unbutton the white fabric. his breath hitches as your fingers brush against his chest, but you pay him no mind, “yunho, move your arm - i need to get your shirt off.”

he doesn’t, remaining still as ever as you undo the last button that you can. you sit back on your haunches and watch him from where you sit between his spread legs.

“yun, come on,” you whine, and he closes his eyes at the sound. so beautiful; if only he wasn’t in pain so he could enjoy it more, “i need to undo the rest of your buttons and i can’t when you’re not letting me!”

you lay a hand on his wrist in a pleading gesture, asking wordlessly to let you take care of him. he listens this time and loosens his grip on his ribs. you pull his hand away, sucking in a breath as you catch sight of the red stain that his hand was previously covering. it’s not huge, but it still needs seeing to, so you go back to unbuttoning his shirt.

yunho tries not to think too hard as your hand brushes over his crotch when you undo the last two, just like when you eventually finish and push the sides of his shirt open to reveal his bare chest. it’s covered with bruises, and he bites his lip to suppress a groan as your delicate fingers dance softly across his damaged skin. he finds himself wishing the circumstances were different, and that you sitting between his legs, touching his chest could be so much more than you just worrying about him. as he watches you pick up the antiseptic wipes again, he’s reminded that that’s all it is; you being worried.

but that too confuses him. after all this time of him being a downright dick to you, you’re still so gentle with him. he’s abrupt and rude, and yet you still smile and say hello whenever you see him. he’s never around to eat with you, and yet you never fail to make him a meal every time you cook. he’s kept so much from you, and yet here you are, taking care of him like none of that ever mattered. like you can somehow see the man he is underneath all that.

he whimpers, and he’s not quite sure whether it’s because of the pain of the antiseptic wipe, or the pain he feels in his heart. either way, he needs something to take his mind off it all.

“why?” he asks as you clean his wound with a kind hand. so soft, your touch, as if you’re scared of hurting him. as if anything you could ever do would hurt him.

“why what?” you respond as you toss away the bloodied wipe and move to grab the cream. you put a dollop on your finger and begin to gently press it against the wound. he groans, and you mutter out a small apology. you mean it too; you don’t want to cause him any more pain.

“why are you doing this?” he says through gritted teeth, breathing heavy and laboured as he tried to power through the sting that he feels in his side, “why are you so nice to me when i’m - oh fuck, it hurts - when i’m anything but nice to you?”

you pause for a second, mulling over his question, repeating it in your mind until you can settle on an answer. well, an answer that’s palatable for him, anyway.

“you’re not not nice,” you say, capping the cream and putting it down on top of yunho’s thigh; you’d need it layered anyway. then you grab the bandage and rip off the adhesive cover, “and even if you were, i don’t think that wouldn’t change how i feel about you as a person.”

he watches with confusion in his eyes as you line up the bandage and smooth it over his skin. you run your fingers along the edges, pressing it down the make sure it’s secure. he’s sure that they linger on his skin for a moment longer than they have to, but he says nothing as you pull your hand back and rest it on your lap.

“how do you feel about me?” he whispers quietly into the cold air of the bathroom. it’s quite possibly the worst place he can imagine to have this conversation, and yet it seems the fit the atmosphere perfectly. somehow it feels so natural, talking about feelings whilst you patch up his injuries in the bathroom.

“i’ve fallen for you,” you bite the bullet, just coming straight out with it, “hook, line, and sinker, yun.”

it feels good to get it off your chest at long last. even if it doesn’t lead anywhere, or it makes things weird between the two of you. even if he begins to avoid you more, or just straight up moves out, it’s feels nice to have it out in the open. you’ve cast your net, it’s up to him whether or not he lets you catch him…

“oh,” is all he says at first, and you try not to think too much into that single syllable. you pick up the tube of antiseptic cream again and turn your attention to his eyebrow, “you like me?”

you nod as you put another globule on your finger and lean into him to get closer to the cut. you ignore the way he stares at you as you work, trying you hardest to avoid making eye contact. you already feel like your heart is about to beat itself free from your chest; you don’t need to worry it any more.

but then you feel a finger brush softly against your face, a scabbed up knuckle teasing your soft skin as it’s traces your cheekbone. a breath gets caught in your throat, and your finger stills against yunho’s brow bone. against your better judgement, you let yourself focus on his expression, making eye contact with the chocolate pools that never failed to draw you in. they’re beautiful, as always, but they reveal so much more than they usually do. the corners crinkle up into crows feet as his pupils twinkle with an emotion you’ve never really seen on his face before. it suits him… a lot.

“that’s a relief,” he breathes out, the semblance of a chuckle in his voice, “i’ve been calling you sweetheart in my brain since the moment we moved in together; it’ll be nice to be able to call you that to your face… sweetheart.”

[harmoniouseclipse]

Woe fankids be upon ye

Doing a little series where I took some ship requests on my instagram to make them fankids, this one is for me tho (jeanlisa to kick it off whoo 🙌🏻) The lineup so far is Cytham, Kavetham, Lionfish (aka Freminet x Gaming aged up probably idk how old they are canonically), Cynonari, Jealuc, and Beiguang, and feel free to send me some other pairings you wanna see (as long as they are legal pls otherwise I will ignore it 👎)

I'm gonna ramble about some headcanons and lore for them under the cut, continue with caution bc I'm insane

These two are my brainrot rn, don't even joke lad. And I wanna tell yall their name meanings too bc I like them a lot 🥹 Zephra's means "west wind" derived from Greek, and it's the feminine version of Zephyr. Tyrian was a type of purple dye used by the Ancient Phoenicians, huge huge HUGE thanks to my pookie bear @miothefish for helping me out with his name!!! Also he has Lisa's butterfly earring and you can't see bc of the angle but Zephra has the rose that went in her hair holding her ponytail <3

I'm also making a massive family tree for the characters as a go along, and just the jeanlisa tree is taking up half of the canvas bc of the KoF and Sumeru characters since Cyno is their uncle and the rest of the gang are their honorary uncles 😭 I'll be posting that once the series is done/all the requests are finished/I run out of ships and otps I enjoy

Here's an alternative version with some more info on most of the characters I wanted to briefly mention in their relation to them; Tyrian likes calling Eula his aunt too even though she was never really considered one for them so it's kind of like her unofficial title she pretends to dislike but she loves it and dotes on Tyrian 🤭 She and Diluc also helped train Zephra with a claymore and Diluc kind of became a parental figure to her in her teen years after Lisa's passing 🥺 She also feels like she's outshined by Jean and that she's not smart or powerful enough to follow in Lisa's footsteps (something that Lisa wouldn't want anyways bc it led her to her death 😔) rip zephra she's just like me fr

And yeah some Kaeya angst bc he's still going thru it I fear, and Jean is single mombossing but she's worried for zephra which me too dawg, im afraid to say she might be cooked 😦 Zephra is also kind of like a weird mix of Lisa when she was her age and Jean, where overall she's well-mannered and kind but she can be competitive and feel the need to push herself too much and pull a few strings to get what she wants from time to time. Tyrian is a ray of sunshine tho, he has not yet witnessed the horrors 💔 I do think that Jean is also a lot easier on him than her mom was with her so that also helps. He's very shy tho and wants to stick with Zephra or Razor most of the time, and they both have some nasty tan lines from going out with Razor and Klee and Fischl a lot 😔 Cyno also freaking loves them and dotes on them and Tyrian is getting a TCG addiction because of it smh, Cyno is also one of Zephra's favorite people and when she's in Sumeru she stays with him and Alhaitham (bc in my universe they are married ough I love cytham)

And (I think?) Klee physically and mentally ages slower than humans so I think she'd be technically 9 or 10, and Zephra is left with babysitting duty most of the time if she's home on break or smth 😭 Klee really looks up to her tho

Also, I wrote Tyrian's last bullet point like he was super young when Lisa died, but I think he was around 7 so he actually remembers Lisa better than I intended it to sound, he was just younger than Zephra (who was 11 at the time) and just didn't have as much time with her as Zeph did, but his most fond memory of Lisa was reading with her and she probably taught them some potion-making skills too.

I think there will be some abyss angst in here too at some point, since I hc Lisa to be probably an Abyss Lector/Harold (I forget which is which) um so thinking that Zeph and Tyrian experiencing some not normal things happening and Jean doesn't know what to do since Lisa also didn't really know what that dog in her was until it was too late 😔 That's what Kaeya's for tho since he's like the heir of the abyss???? Go off king. Also some touchy ragbros angst bc Kaeya is scared for Zeph knowing how close she is with Luc and he doesn't want him to push her away because of her being from the abyss or smth (they mostly made up but it's still a fear in Kaeya's mind both for him and Jean's kids)

I think that's all I wanted to touch on for now?? Mainly just thinking about domestic fluff and angst all the time now 🥺 Zeph not being able to be open with Jean bc she feels like a disappointment but Jean would literally actually die for her and shes proud of her no matter what ough im going to lose my freak dawg guess who my favorite fankid is it's super hard ik

Send me asks or dms or whatever for more ship requests!!! I'm having so much fun with this dawg 🫶🏻

[nztsume]

i think the thing that interests me the most about homelander is 10000% the fact that hes redeemable and likable just because of the fact of how much he loves the people he loves and how much he needs to be loved by them. like that makes him SO interesting to me, and the more we discover about him the more his insanity makes sense. the fact that nobody ever in his life saw him as any other than a product or a message or a pennant but never a HUMAN, and the fact that he himself doesnt want to see himself as a HUMAN when he so clearly is because all of this!!! the fact that hes gets so pathetically obsessed with any woman that shows him some love and attention, even if its fake! the way he refused to kill maeve because a part of him genuinely loves her still, the fact that when annie kissed him for the fake dating thing he was genuinely GENUINELY into it, and not in a sexual way. he fucking SMILED into the kiss??????? 'i'm glad you're here'???????????? the way stormfront never gave him any genuine show of affection, when it was clearly all about the sex and the power she had over him and he still didnt see it because he was so glad there was a woman who was willingly giving him what he understood as affection (that for her was just sex) idk i just feel like theres something so innocent about his character that the rest of the guys in the boys dont have - which is a clear reflection of how traumatized he was in the lab, how he never quite understood how to navegate his emotions as a grown up and develop actual self love. he loves homelander, but does he love john? everyone loves homelander, but who loves john? im obsessed. and i love how this spills into things that men who stan him actually would never accept or understand- like the fact that he doesnt even care about looks, he doesnt even care about his own supposed ideals where he considers supes superior to humans. he doesnt even care about loyalty!!!! otherwise hed loved firecracker. he simply wants a woman who will love him, really love him, like nobody ever loved him in his life. (and if you think about it thats soooooooo tragic. imagine not even having parents that love you... not even your own fucking child!!!! despite you doing everything to make him not have to go through what you went through!!!! despite giving him your undivided attention- even when youre one of the most important people in the world!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) and by the way, im really glad they didnt go for a super easy and predictable storyline where sister sage would pretend she loves him to manipulate him- because that would have been incredibly boring. and one last thing: this is soooo silly and petty but this is why the single most infuriating and insufferable thing in the fandom is the way men stan him, because in universe, theyd literally be the kind of people homelander would fucking hate LMFAOOOO because they ignore all of these essential parts of his character because they are too busy wankin over ashley look at me

[thechy-fychannel]

You said you think pre-infarction house was an addict-can you expand on that? What drugs were he hooked on and why did he fully switch to vicodin and never used others again? Did he ever reach a go-to-rehab level addiction? How did wilson handle that? And what was Stacy's attitude towards his addiction? I think she would have been a lot more forgiving than cuddy because 1. She herself is a smoker who goes back to cigarettes during hard time and 2. Unlike cuddy, she didn't have a small child to worry about.

Ahhh thank you sm, I love this question!!! Let's get into it ✨

So my theory is that house was abusing morphine prior to the infarction. here are my reasons for thinking so:

1. Three Stories- the entire reason house's infarction was as bad as it was is bc everyone except house was convinced he was just drug seeking at first. it makes absolutely zero sense for them to think that unless he already had a history of drug seeking. unless I misremember (anyone feel free to correct me if I'm wrong) he already worked at PPTH for a while before the infarction happened. so it was the same doctors he knew and interacted with every single day that saw him screaming in agony and chose to believe he was just trying to seek drugs and not actually in pain. he had to have a history, it just doesn't make sense otherwise for them to assume he was drug seeking.

2. one very specific line in No Reason (the episode where house is shot and the whole episode is a hallucination). when house, wilson, and cuddy are in her office and house is realizing they did something to his brain (the ketamine treatment) cuddy says this specific line: "You were out of control, you were shooting morphine!" This line has always stuck out to me and no one ever seems to mention it. It's very out of place bc the conversation they're having is about him being shot and them doing something to him while he was under. I think this was his brain connecting this event to the last time someone did something to him while he was unconscious, trying to rationalize these traumatic events.

3. In early s3 when the pain comes back, he begs cuddy to give him a shot of morphine in his spine (the scene where he drops his pants in her office and asks her in tears if the scar is all in his head too since she thinks the pain is all in his head.) cuddy gives him the shot and he comes back looking for another one later on, after the pain comes back again. she informs him that she never gave him morphine, it was saline. the fact that the pretend morphine worked suggests he had a mental dependency on it. I'm pretty sure this is the point where he goes back to vicodin (it's been a few months since I did my last rewatch so I could be wrong). I think had she actually given him morphine, he likely would've become addicted to it again. Just the thought of the morphine was enough to have him looking for more.

4. Wilson's tendency to jump straight to heroin use when he thinks house is on something other than vicodin. it happens more than once in the series when house starts acting just the slightest bit off, wilson leaps to the conclusion that he's on heroin. which is an insane leap to make unless it's something he's had to worry about in the past. I think the reason wilson would jump to heroin over morphine is if he knows what it looks like when house is high on morphine. If house used to abuse morphine, wilson would be able to recognize it and if he can't, it must be something much worse. this again plays into why I think he was an addict prior to the infarction even if it wasn't morphine, because who in their right mind would jump to their best friend using heroin if that person didn't have a long history of abusing similar drugs?

Now to answer your other questions:

Why did he switch to vicodin and not go back to others he may have been addicted to? I can tell you from personal experience that while morphine feels great, it makes you hazy and tired and out of it. I think once he was prescribed vicodin after his surgery and learned that he could function on it and not feel hazy, it was a match made in heaven for him (he says a few times in the show that vicodin doesn't make him hazy, so he immediately knows if he's on something else bc he feels hazy.) He didn't need to switch to anything else as long as he had access to vicodin bc he got the high, the pain relief, and no haziness. but when he got cut off of his vicodin during the tritter ordeal, he stole oxycodone (I think?) from wilson's dead patient. so if he didn't have vicodin, it's safe to assume he would go back to whatever he had access to.

Did he ever reach rehab level addiction? / What was Stacy's attitude towards his addiction? I think if we go based off his colleagues thinking he was drug seeking + cuddy saying he was out of control and shooting up morphine, I would say yes, it was rehab level addiction. But— I feel like if it had been that bad, stacy would've mentioned it in some sort of capacity during her arc when they were discussing their relationship. she never hints at him being an addict as far as I can remember. she loved and cared about house so much that she was willing to accept him hating her if it meant he was alive and healthy. I feel like if his addiction had been dangerous, she would've done anything to get him help the same way she did during his infarction. even if it meant going against his wishes and him hating her, she would've insisted he got help. so I'm conflicted on that question, honestly. I think maybe it depends on the perspective of those around him. maybe those at the hospital saw something stacy didn't, I'm not sure. but I agree with what you said about her being more forgiving and understanding of it than cuddy was. I think if he had been an addict while they were together, she would've given him an endless amount of chances until it became dangerous, that's when she would put her foot down and try to force him into rehab and their relationship probably would've crumbled for a whole different reason.

How did Wilson handle his addiction? I think house being an addict prior to the infarction plays perfectly into the theme of wilson emotionally neglecting his wives for house. we obviously don't have an exact timeline of his marriages aside from his first one ending just before house and wilson met, but it's pretty safe to assume that he was married to and even possibly divorced from bonnie before the infarction ever happened since he seems to have been married to julie for a little while in the beginning of the show.

[sidenote: here is my personal timeline HC for wilson's marriages.

Sam: 1991-1992 (canon)

Bonnie: 1993-1998

Julie: 1999 (before infarction) - 2005]

In the episode where house uses bonnie to get dating info about wilson, she says the iconic line, "You always needed him and he was always there for you. He had a wife waiting for him at home and you didn't care." And it just makes sense if the reason house always needed him was because of his struggles with addiction. house in general is a needy person who always wanted wilson's affection to himself, that much is clear, but wilson had to of had a good excuse to always run off for whatever it is house needed from him prior to him being disabled.

Getting into more specifics about how wilson would've handled his addiction back then— I think he would've handled it similarly to the way he did with the vicodin. he's an enabler unfortunately, he would've let house make excuses and made excuses for him because he tries to give house the benefit of the doubt that he can control himself. I think back then even more so, because house wasn't in pain and disabled, wilson had no reason to think house couldn't control himself. I think it's even possible that wilson was in denial about it too, he didn't want to believe his best friend was an addict and maybe he felt like he needed to protect house when others started accusing him of such. I think that may be why wilson asked cuddy to make that bet with house to find out if he was addicted to vicodin. he ignored it and denied it last time and he's enabled him for years since the infarction, he wanted to know if he was treating house's pain or still enabling an addict. the answer was both, which makes it no less complicated. but like with all of house's issues, wilson continues to stand by him and be there for him bc he loves him and wants him in his life, addict or no addict.

[cillyscribbles]

i promised cats metaposting 2 bagpipe boogaloo and i am a bitch of my word here we go

cats 1998: the rum tum tugger + these hands are rated G for grizabella

(theory wank under cut call that catracter development)

(theory wank about munkustrap & grizabella here for those uninitiated)

RIGHT SO unfortunately this one is no longer semi-coherent overanalysis of microexpression but a full descent into conspiratorial madness, so please remain aware of the fact that this is a tangent missing textual support at the best of times. it's entirely possible and even likely that rum tum tugger is genuinely just a bitch to grizabella because that's who he is as a person and doesn't like what she smells like or something idfk. anyway.

welcome to my red string board of why rum tum tugger actually doesn't dislike her for no reason and totally has depth and yeah we're poor little meow meowing a white boy with more hubris than eyeliner, classic essay genre on tumblr, at least he's a catboy this time and the hubris-eyeliner ratio is actually a close call.

anyway, for any of my theorizing to make sense, here are the two headcanons it's all based on:

grizabella is an (ex-)wife of old deuteronomy and the mother of rum tum tugger (and munkustrap if you're so inclined)

grizabella left the jellicle cats at some point when rum tum tugger was a kitten or otherwise a very young cat

and honestly the rest just flows from the mommy issues to be honest. there's a load of alternate explanations and theories and headcanons and mine's by no means the right one necessarily, but i do have to admit the family angst it allows for is balls to the walls insane because it just. it fits what we see on screen so well!

look at this clown i love him. he ONLY does the puff-up at grizabella. and even though that supports my theorizing it's also honestly a bit of a loss i think. it's such an evocative cat-thing. i want him to do that when something jumpscares him lmao. i NEED him to do that at old deuteronomy jokingly and get cuffed on the back of the head by munkustrap for being a professional youngest child. anyway

don't get me wrong, the fact that tugger has a grudge against grizabella isn't anything special, most older cats do; hell, some of them deliberately walk past her Judgementally (bombalurina, notably) or shake their head at her in disapproval (jennyanydots), but it's so pointedly constant and so pointedly Pointed with tugger that it draws my eye. every time she appears, he has to clearly and explicitly broadcast his displeasure with the fact that she's daring to breathe at them.

like, she's not In His Way or anything here. he doesn't have to walk past her if he doesn't want to. he doesn't have to look at her; plenty of other cats pretend she doesn't exist when she looks at them. but not only does he do all those things, he explicitly looks at her and puffs his coat up again. he's walking at a fairly brisk pace toward her and actually slows down to do it. it's such a deliberately mean thing to do it's stuck between really extra and really petty. exactly the same with the jellicle choice scene.

my man's being so petty this should be constituted as bullying lmao. look at that! nobody likes you still! sucks to be you i guess! like. this man would be pouncival doing the fake pranks and scratching her if he was a kitten. he's just, constantly upping his level of mean to her. in the first scene he at least has the decency to walk out in the opposite direction of her.

a really professional youngest child. again, all that ^ is fairly grounded thought on character performance i think if you don't really connect it to anything, but i'm connecting it to abandonment issues for maximum ouch lmao.

so, bear with me for a moment: for whatever reason, grizabella leaves the jellicles, including her husband and kid(s). (if you're a fan of the theory about macavity being the third brother to munkustrap and tugger, i mean, she might've just left with him because he was her kid. i dunno.) and you're tugger. Baby tugger, even. you don't understand why she'd leave you. was it you? were you too much? were you not enough? of course not, but you're a little cat with a lot of pride and all the makings of a Petty Little Bastard in you, so you say fuck all that. i'm not too much; i'm actually more than enough. i'm the best! and i'll make damn sure you never forget it!

i feel like if you include munkustrap in that too it gets to be a really interesting dynamic. tugger's mean and angry and going out of his way to show it, and munkustrap is just kind of. "can we not do this" about it. really seems like he'd rather be somewhere else, but, i mean, welcome to The Unpleasant Shit being his job. professional eldest sibling.

she approaches him and he actively goes absolutely not oh look at that what a nice corner i'll just go stand over there. meanwhile tugger's determined to be all OH! OH LOOK WHO'S HERE!!!! WELCOME HOME CHEATER!!!!!! about it. like i already made a post about this so i won't get into it again but i really don't think munkustrap is all that mad at her, which gives tugger's attitude some nice contrast.

continuing with dynamics for a moment, i feel like tugger either has real Attuned Parental Figure Senses or is surprisingly perceptive for his character? this isn't necessarily connected with the point before, but i mean, he stops his whole entire number MID-DANCE MOVE to point out grizabella. he does do it with great flow though you must admit.

he loves attention!! that's established!! whether or not he's up for it at All Times we can have a discussion about (he really just dips out after his number to recharge for a good while lol) but he's here having the time of his life, BOOM one whiff of grizz and he's tearing down the party decorations, that's it, everyone go home.

i'd attribute it to him just Really Having That Big of a grudge if he didn't also kinda sorta activate his Deuteronomy Detect power during the lad's arrival LMAO.

look at that! he beats munkustrap to it! admittedly i can't see the rest of the stage so it might be that all the other cats already saw it and he's just pointing old deuteronomy out to munkustrap as the latter's too busy looking the other way. but it's still a funky way to get in character traits besides Mean & A Whore!

ok and another notable thing, and to me something really interesting, it that tugger never does end up touching grizabella, even though he has the choice to.

after she's first accepted back via touch from victoria, the cats sort of line up to show their affections too. it's a really nice scene in my opinion, you get the sense that all those cats really are happy to be able to take back an old friend and i'm all for it. but the cherry is that tugger is being Really Interestingly Acted here - he leads cassandra closer so she can reach out to grizabella, but tugger himself stays behind with this sort of blank expression over him. even those cats i mentioned before - jennyanydots and bombalurina - get the moment to hold grizabella's hands and smile and encourage her on. tugger doesn't do that.

grizabella doesn't touch every cat, granted, but even those she doesn't touch are reaching out to her, which is pretty much as good as. they all do enough of that sort of implied gesture throughout the musical that it shows it's affection and acceptance all the same whether or not physical contact is made, like for example old deuteronomy's greeting and the moments before the jellicle choice; the first one's posed similarly to grizabella's return, everyone's trying to touch old deuteronomy, but they're perfectly fine with sort of just reaching out and being reached out to (note mr mistoffelees and bombalurina). in the second one it's even sillier because both munkustrap and old deuteronomy could clear the like 10cm of distance between them, but the reaching and willingness is more than enough for that mutual understanding to come between them. basically intent > result (side note: this is not a good rule for life outside of the cats musical).

tugger doesn't reach out. doesn't try to get any closer than he already got and stays in the shadow behind the rest, just watching her go for a bit before he dips again.

with the way he's squashed behind asparagus jr here i can't tell if he's bowing or nodding or what, but i think it'd be really funny if he was just trying to make himself shrink a little. like hanging his head nope i'm not here don't look at me goodbye. so completely contradictory to his usual vibe it's hilarious.

it is interesting to think about though, in my opinion, that he spends pretty much the rest of the musical in the shadow and separated from the other celebrating cats. he climbs up onto the chest and stays on that platform for the rest of the show while the other cats are being directed by munkustrap to follow and then surround old deuteronomy.

it's interesting - he may be positioned above the other cats physically, but it makes him feel sort of separated if you know what i mean. there's usually this pretty clear separation between munkustrap and the other cats when they're on screen, they might crouch when he stands and reach out to him when he's talking, but this time munkustrap is just down there calling upon the vibes with the other cats, and only makes his way up to old deuteronomy's right after grizabella's gone and it's time for the closing number. rum tum tugger straight up bounces as they're going to the russel hotel LMAO.

he does hype her up as she's going up, which is also really cute. he's off to the side so the other cats aren't really looking at him, but even as old deuteronomy shows her the rest of them, grizabella's eyes linger on tugger's wee rockstar schtick and it just kind of melts me.

anyway. man may be conflicted but he's happy mum gets a retry whether anyone likes it or not. and i think that's nice. :)

[beelmons]

It's actually safer to kiss

'I don't do handshakes' was something you had heard repeatedly since your first day at the BAU. The ever so quirky Spencer Reid and his little, often statistic-based, habits.

Most of them you found endearing, granted, it was mostly because you had this massive, teenage-like crush on him, but some of them like his germophobe tendencies were nothing short to insane.

"So, you have only given out three handshakes in your entire life?" you said out loud, a glass with your favorite beverage hanging from your fingers.

The two of you were at a gathering at Rossi's place, but this specific one, being that was because of his birthday, had added people into the mix, resulting in both of you getting too crowded to actually hangout outside where everyone else was.

"Two of them were against my will, actually, my mother forced me to give them out" he answered, his lips curled into a light smile. He himself knew the thing was silly, but he had convinced himself otherwise, he firmly believed his decision to be unfounded.

"But you hug us very often, is it not the same?" you asked curiously, your body leaning lightly forward to pay close attention to his answer.

"No, no it's not." he started, his hands joining into the conversation as he tried to graphically describe a germ with his fingers "See, if you hug me, your germ-filled hands land on my clothes, and eventually I'm going to clean them-"

"Eventually?" you interrupted with a light scoff.

"Yes!" he laughed "Listen, so if you hold my hand, I'm ten times more likely to touch my face or lips, and therefore create a entry pathway for the germs."

"And that whole 'It's actually safer to kiss'" charade is real?" you asked once more.

"Oh, yes, it's real, while the mouth is often nasty, it holds less germs and foreign germs than the hands." he kept going on about that.

Your head popped off with an idea. You weren't sure if it was just you feeling bold or whatnot, but you decided to put his little theory to test.

"Roleplay with me for a second." you asked as you bolted off your chair "I want you to hear how ridiculous that line sounds." you added, walking a couple of steps back. "I'm gonna pretend not to know you, and I want you to say it exactly like you said it to that man, but listen to yourself, really listen, Reid, okay?"

He had broken into laughter as soon as you got off your seat, his head shaking in disbelief. He was as smitten for you as you were for him, but of course, none of you would actually admit it to each other.

"Hi! Doctor Reid, it's nice to meet you" with your extended hand in his direction.

"Uh, I don't do handshakes" He started "The number of pathogens passed during a handshake is staggering. It's actually safer to ki-"

He couldn't even finish the sentence before your lips were on his. He was astounded for a second before he melted into your grip, your hands lightly tracing over his scalp as your tongues danced together.

To hell was this safer, it was actually very, very dangerous.

His hands landed on your hips, his legs opening side to side as he remained seated on the chair, welcoming your body forward.

The clearing of a throat was what finally reminded you that you were, in fact, in the middle of a party with every single one of your coworkers around you. It was Rossi, standing right next to you. You quickly pulled apart and looked with eyes wide open.

"This is not-" you tried to explain, but the man raised his hands to silence you.

"Down the hall far corner to the right," he started, walking past you to grab a bottle of fine wine. "And kids," he added as he started heading back to the part "Please put the bedsheets in the washing mashine when you're done."

[tirfpikachu]

Oh we're doing radbrl hot takes? Gladly. I've been lurking on here for 5 years and I've things to say.

Sex dysphoria can be innate. It's rare and the ROGD is bullshit, but sex dysphoria is as real as other mental illnesses. We have Body Integrity Identity Disorder cases to prove that.

It's good to share more awareness to possible consequences and realistic outcomes of GRS + to the fact that it is a dangerous, experimental surgery that may not provide relief. But if you're arguing for banning it altogether you're insane. People have the right to bodily autonomy 100% of the time which includes the right to do dangerous and dumb shit to themselves. If you advocate for banning trans surgeries might as well sign your rights to tubal ligations away because they rely on the same fucking principle.

While we're on that topic you people treat detrans people like shit 90% of the time and only pretend to be normal about them to win detrans people over. Pick one. Also you refer to detrans peoples' surgeries with whichever term the person discussed uses. If they say it's mutilation, it's mutilation. If they say it helped, then it helped. Idgaf.

If I see one more radbrl account fakeclaiming autism (+ others) when it's a well-known factor women are underdiagnosed with it in ASTRONOMICAL NUMBERS I'm going to fucking snap. "But autistic men"- autistic men aren't on tumbrl or tiktok they're on Reddit. Next.

R-word usage. Spesks for itself.

Personality disordes (BPD, NPD, whatever) aren't "just hysteria". In a way that I believe they are because they're poorly named, understudied, disregarded and weaponised by psych industry. These diagnosed have been turned into a target on women's back it's true. And they're almost entirely truama-based. However people with these diagnosed do experience a specific set of issues and symptoms that can't be showed into CPTSD alone. Nuance. We're finally approaching the moment where we can give a name to (usually female-specific) responses to the extreme trauma caused by psychiatry and y'all aren't helping by saying it's fake.

Radbrl is rampatly pro-psych when you'd think they'd be against it and examined women's history with it. Any reasonable radical feminist should be at least psych-critical, end of.

Not done yet! 8) Q+ movement has completely screwed over actual asexual people in every way possible. But actual asexuality (what q+ would define as "aroace") is natural and normal. It's a way for nature to regulate population just like gay and bi sexualities are. Radbrl is both arguing that asexuality is inherently trauma based is just wrong and also borrowing conversion therapy rhetorics lol. 9) You can criticise annoying "ace" people all you want and they are partially responsible for LGB struggles right now but at the end of the day they're just teens on the Internet you're attacking for being traumatised and also even if it is trauma... So then what? They're obligated to recover from that now? How come? Towards which purpose? How would you personally benefit from their healing and that they have sex now? Most likely with men while being women? That what you want? Trauma recovery can be re-traumatising yk. Why'd you wish that on anyone. 10) Women abroad (especially woc) don't have radical feminsm (except maybe 4b which is more based on our rhetorics), they have normal feminism that hasn't been divided into lib and rad because rad is closer to the general feminism that the circus that libfem is. But you still use them as pawns lol. 11) Huge ableism problem, huge racism problem, huge intersexism problem as well. Not intersex so won't speak on that but oh god you're no better than TRAs sometimes. 12) American centrism despite claiming otherwise. 13) Radbrl is Not Immune to Russian Propaganda and can't understand ethnic dynamics in europe en-masse (ref to that one Ukraine poll where a russian radfem was more self-aware than everyone else. Embarrassing eh?) 14) The banwaves took most of the good ones and many TEHM voices that were important for us so now Radbrl is a pathetic shadow of what it used to be debate-wise and takes-wise. Most of discourse now is just regurgitating the same arguments. I haven't read something eye-opening or refreshing in a long while which is why I left. This isn't everything yet but I think others have already said other things I wanted to mention. Maybe I'll pop in later with part3

[pridoo]

I'm really sorry if this sounds rude, but I wanna ask what do you like about the ekurei ship? I kinda thought it was just a crack ship but your comic and calendar thing looked really passionate for them- I'm sorry again for such an intrusive question, but I really want to know

Oh, I don't mind at all! I know it seems pretty funny on the outside so I understand. Buckle up though, because I'm insane <3

they hot

The easiest answer is that I've seen tons of hot fanart (mostly from Asian mp100 fandom) of Reigen getting railed by Ekubo/Dimple possessing that security guard – but I also have seen tons of art of Ekubo being a green fart cloud and their dynamics still pull my heartstrings, so it's not that simple.

"Human" Ekubo and Reigen have never even met in canon, so I know it seems silly, but there's a lot of official art from studio Bones of them interacting. I have no idea what's up with that but I'm not complaining. Seems like they are having fun.

common goal

Mob is of course the common interest for both of them. At first they both aim to exploit Mob for their own goals but learn that their shit doesn't really matter, unlike this amazing 14-year-old. Maybe it's me getting old but co-parenting/looking after the next generation is really special to me. if you read/watch the series finale, this dynamic is at the heart of the story to the very end. They learn to be better people through Mob but also share the burden of it, being "the adults" in the situation.

Their skills are also incredibly silly yet compatible. Reigen can win any argument ever and punch people and Ekubo has an unique insight on the spiritual and ordinary world, plus psychic powers. He also does sick backflips. It's a good team.

cunt4cunt

Reigen is a conman and Ekubo an evil spirit. Both of them know this truth about the other from the start, so there's no reason to pretend otherwise. Somehow this makes them incredibly casual acquintances. I think there's something incredibly special about being able to be your worst self and the other still chooses to be around you. You're awful, I'm awful, let's be awful together. They call out each other's bs but also know that they can rely on each other. Reigen always treats Ekubo as an actual person, be it shitty or casual.

They are both witty and smart but also kinda losermen because they lack some necessary qualities to become truly popular or successful, but also because the circumstances in the series are very realistic to the real world. If you fuck up majorly once, it's pretty hard to climb back. Despite this, they pull together.

better people

During the series, both of them go through a huge character development. There's something stupidly good in both of them from the start though, and it starts to show at the end of 1st season and especially during 2nd season. The catalyst for this change is of course Mob, but they also choose to become better.

It's funny to me that they both wallow in some weird self-hatred that makes them seem really narcissistic, and without Mob they would probably stay that way. They are so convinced that they are the single worst person in the world so even their good sides, like loyalty, ability be quite genuine and caring seem like flaws to them. Joke's on them, they are both lonely and sad people and actually understand something very human because of it. Do they actually reach their goals? Well, mp100 has a kind of absurdist core to it. Because nobody is special, you can make your life what you want.

TL;DR I think they are funny, kinda stupid, pretty hot, surprisingly genuine and lonely people in a lonely world. Plus: no sense of personal space.

Thanks and sorry for the lengthy essay! 🫡

[nqmonarch]

Thoughts About Being in a Relationship with HSR Characters

So like we all love to fantasize about being in a relationship with fictional characters but would we want to actually be in one? As a huge fan of the Aeons I did a quick overview. Even though getting into a relationship with one is widely unrealistic (actually impossible because they're video game characters but even in game it's unrealistic).

Warning: This is just for fun

Aha

Wow, Aha is such a goofy Aeon sure the chaos they cause is insane but there's never a dull moment with them around. But like imagine being in the HSR universe and being in a relationship with this Aeon. 99% chance of death (because of a prank), that 1% chance is saved if for some reason you can't be killed.

Literally miserable. You know how you try to have like a normal conversation with your dad, or guy friend, or boyfriend but they just don't take shit seriously. Like they avoid the topic 24/7 because of jokes. Imagine trying to have a serious conversation with this guy, actual terrible experience.

In a modern AU would be one of those prank YouTubers that like pretends to kill your friend as a prank but actually does kill your friend, it's not a prank. Why aren't you laughing?

0/10.

Akivili

If still alive 10/10 in the HSR universe, 9/10 in modern AU. I am down to travel all over the cosmos but since I have a normal life here on Earth I am perfectly happy staying in my room, writing, coding, and drawing. But Akivili would def bring back some banger souvenirs and pictures even if you're just a friend of theirs.

If dead then 10/10 in both.

Fuli

Okay serious question do you think they'd taxidermy their lover? Like I know in HSR there's not really that option (their lover could be one of the memokeepers I guess?) but in Modern AU I feel like they'd taxidermy their lover. I don't know if that's a plus or a negative.

Definitely the kind of Aeon to be hung up on their first love so you better hope you're that first love. Or else they'll be reminiscing over memories and old photos and old videos and constantly comparing them to you-- man that sucks. Probably would take you out to nice dinners though and give you lots of good memories.

In Modern AU I feel like the idea of Fuli gets 10 times more mystical and also 10 times creepier, like someone that tries to record all of the events in the world but also the events happening right now. So historian, journalist combo, except I feel like they would just appear out of nowhere and then just go back to the void and post a bunch of random photos online. They'd definitely have observed their lover before talking to them (likely several times) which is the creepy aspect.

7/10 for the memories.

IX

Actual 10/10 you cannot argue otherwise on this. Okay, you definitely can but 10/10 in my book aside from the fact you die but like you'll either be accepting your death and dying or spend the rest of your life trying to prove IX wrong about the purpose of life.

Wouldn't take you on dates, you'd have to take IX on dates, plan the whole thing out, really fluster them, give them the time of their existence. And IX would sit there like the gentleman... gentlewoman? Gentle creature it is. I feel like they would be very polite :)

In Modern AU I'm pretty sure IX is just your average office worker who hates their life and sees no point to it but for some reason can't die. 9/10. IX loses one point for no longer being a blackhole.

Lan

Honestly... another gentle creature, and like respectfully, very respectfully I would love to take them out on a date. Seems respectful, apparently pays close attention to mortals so there's a higher chance of Lan keeping their lover alive if they're (Lan's lover) a mortal. Pretty sure 90% of the Aeons would accidentally kill a mortal lover.

Just seems very obsessed with their goals and honestly I respect the grind. 8/10, your average grinder. That being said Lan is also absolutely beautiful but I'm not a big horse person.

In Modern AU Lan would be someone that's trying to change the world, one of those go getters. Again very respectful, and cool but would probably work 16 hours a day which makes holding a relationship pretty hard. 7/10.

Mythus

I haven't done Gold and Gears or finished Swarm Disaster but damn Mythus is really hot. Smash. Uh 6/10 because I don't know their personality or even what they represent but they are really beautiful. I like the jellyfish.

Nanook

Aw man, the moment I saw this guy I knew they would haunt my thoughts. And yeah they do. So beautiful from the molten lava, golden eyes, white hair, man if only they didn't have the personality of an absolute asshole. Like I write fanfiction about Nanook sometimes (pretty rarely) and I can say I am literally pulling every possible string I can to make this Aeon a good lover and somewhat in character.

This is just because I like writing lovers that are semi-decent, it's pretty hard when you get to people like Nanook but I do my best. There's no way a relationship with Nanook would work out feasibly because there's no way they'd love you.

But if they did... I don't know, Nanook is still a pretty bad person for trying to kill everything else in the world so I'm gonna have to dock some points for that. Reminds me of the brooding quiet, only soft spot is for you, male lead troupe except Nanook is trying to murder everyone 24/7.

In Modern AU, I don't even know what Nanook would be? An assassin? A serial killer? I can kind of see like a revolution leader cause apparently they were born from the flames of a world in complete destruction and they saw everything as ugly and destruction as the only possible outcome. I can see a twist with Nanook leading a revolution in hopes of creating a more beautiful world but finding destruction as the only possible outcome that will remove the plague known as life.

Even if they loved you, they'd be very busy with their revolution plans, and I feel like you'd probably be caged away somewhere far away from the danger so you'd barely see Nanook if they wanted to keep you alive.

2/10, 2 points for being so FUCKING beautiful. Thanks Hoyoverse for making a character so attractive.

Qlipoth

Okay Qlipoth would be like big puppy partner, you get me. Like golden retriever vibes or uh... that one person that watches over everything to make sure you're safe but not like in the stalker way. Like the government, y'know? Except the government now wants to make sure you're safe! :D

I am a bit thrown off by the fact Qlipoth is a rock but I'm even more thrown back by the IPC. Like they're really fucking annoying (not as individuals I love Topaz and Aventurine) they're like Qlipoth's lil fanclub. They'd also be Qlipoth's fanclub in Modern AU, I'd imagine and I will imagine.

Also they're a bit sus, like I know they're great, but they want to build a wall. What's the wall for, huh?

Anyway as a partner sure they're a rock, and have an annoying fanclub but they'd probably be really caring and would be able to destroy anything that threatens you. I'd imagine it's about the same in Modern AU but destroy anything with money.

Nothing is stronger than money, actually a nuke is but we're going to assume none of the Modern AU versions of the characters would have access to that or make their own because that would change the game.

I'd say 7/10 in both HSR and Modern AU, I don't know they're just kinda sus...

Tayzzyronth

I'm about half way through the swarm disaster and question time--

If insect, why hot? Like I hate bugs, mainly flying ones, but like why is Tayzzyronth half insect half human 100% beautiful? Anyway from what I know they basically became an Aeon because they were lonely and like the last one of their species and honestly, they deserve a hug for that.

Still absolutely terrifying and if you were in a relationship with them you'd probably be smothered with the Swarm which is beyond terrifying. Would be significantly better in Modern AU where they wouldn't have insects around them all the time. 4/10 in HSR and 7/10 in Modern AU.

Xipe

Don't know them but they're so beautiful and with a path like the Harmony they've got to be good, right? Right?

9/10.

Yaoshi

I think Yaoshi is the Aeon I most actively thirst for, like they're so beautiful, and they pull off deranged love so well. They would keep their lover alive until their lover goes insane because of mara. And they're super kind, and empathetic. The threat of becoming mara struck is one I would take just to be in their presence. 10/10.

In Modern AU! they'd be so beautiful, still, like one of those fragile looking beauties that would just approach you randomly and then ask, "Are you in pain?" And it'd be really creepy but because it's Yaoshi it'd be okay and you'd fall in love like instantly. Don't answer yes to the question though. I feel like they'd have mad scientist vibes, probably would do unethical experiments which doesn't really sit right with me. Again, would try to keep their lover alive no matter what but they'd be really nice. 9.5/10.

Alright so I did this in 30 minutes instead of working on my presentation which is due tomorrow and I haven't finished research for.

Again this was just for fun, all of the Aeons have super great designs and are super cool imo :) props to Hoyoverse for this

[nancylou444]

How can one person be so stupid?

(re)

Of course, after putting this trash in my messages, they blocked me.

**cracks knuckles** This is how I amuse myself after a hard day at work.

How is it a brag to have spent your time running a fan blog for and interacting with the fans of the very thing you hate 🤯 sorry we aren't all so insane and pathetic as to assume someone would be so insane and pathetic and sad as to do all that Run on sentence much? No, better to go to said blog to complain about it.

Also, You created a tag called “Nancy hater” about yourself. I didn't just 'create' that tag, shit for brains. I've had it for a long time. Just shows how ignorant you are, since the tag isn't "about" me, it's about my HATERS.

How incredibly stupid is you that you thinks pretending to be a Destiel blog and getting Destiel fans to interact is a gotcha? That blog really bothers them.

f you was writing pro Destiel posts…you wasn’t doing anything but contributing positively to the Destiel community Critical thinking isn’t your strong suit huh? I'm guessing there should be a period there somewhere. Kind of missing the point of the blog, sunshine.

You and Kelios must be best friend because you're both equally stupid. I checked this blog there's no SPN on it. I'm guessing this turd has a heller blog, otherwise why would they even know about Kelios, let alone bring her up? 🤨