#i'm incredibly grateful and happy

[albonium]

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[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

With the end of season two comes a second redraw!

[Nov 2022] [June 2023] [June 2024]

[gentlebeard]

If I could hold you for a minute, Darling, I’d go through it again

For @edsbacktattoo & @stedesearring 💕 Show: Our Flag Means Death - Season 1 & 2 Music: Francesca by Hozier YouTube

[skloomdumpster]

I swear somewhere this works

[h0estar]

i'm totally normal about this!!!!!

i finally got his ass to c6 after two years 😭 it's crazy because this is the first time i got like 4 copies of him in a single patch and only lost the 50/50 once (the first pull). it's even crazier when i think about how i only had 17k primos + i kept pulling when my primos reached 160 💀 insane luck? or was this the God’s way of saying, “Hey, you’ve suffered enough”? anyway, idc. my goal is achieved! aahhh

[fionnaskyborn]

very much related to that last post but i adore how nearly everyone that's ever played odst lives their life after having played the game imagining themselves as the game's protagonist trudging down the street with smooth jazz playing in the background whenever it rains during nighttime. i remember someone posted a video of some ambient jazz playing on a desolate bus station or something not too long ago and every single person in the comment section and the quote retweets was making an odst reference in one way or another. it's such a delightful phenomenon.

[lesbianwyllravengard]

I watched the IF movie with my baby brother and I fucking sobbed. Not even at the actually sad stuff just the reminder of the feeling of having absolutely no one but this person in your head who is your everything who knows you better than anyone who is there for you no matter what. Forgetting and then remembering them again. I was literally holding back sobs meanwhile the 6yo is fine

[loveydoveylex]

ngl seeing ur posts actually teared me up a bit. im demiaroace and went thru a rlly bad toxic relationship. its hard for me to fall in love w people in general bc of this but im always loving fictional characters. so this past one has been rlly rlly hard for me, but fictional characters always have made me feel better (this has been a whole thing w me since i was little due to trauma & abuse). i guess i dont rlly consider myself fictosexual? maybe i kinda am? ive drawn personas and self shipped but mostly i just draw ships and live vicariously thru them heh. but seeing you, your posts, how cute you and rayman are together. idk it gives me hope? like im actually tearing up NOW HSSHSH idk i just. find it so sweet? how you guys found each other. and idk it gives me hope that love will happen to me one day ig? IDK how to explain it but im very happy for you guys, congrats on almost 1 year!! and never stop bc you guys have such a deep bond and yeah!! #raylex !!!

anon oh my GOODNESS, you are gonna be the one to make ME tear up! this is such a sweet and lovely message to receive... 🥺 you have no idea how happy I am to know that I can give you even just a little bit of hope that love will come your way someday. I promise it will! I'm so sorry for what you had to go through, but please know that I am cheering you on all the way for a bright future! 💖

[leslieseveride]

i would like to thank jackson west, and jackson west only, for all that he's done this season and bringing chenford together. he really is an angel. 🥺💗💗

[greppelheks]

Good day tomorrow: alone all day!

[the-hilda-librarians-wife]

Girls when the end of Sketchbook Week fills them with a melancholic yet unimaginable gratefulness and a contradictory nostalgia for the present moment. Girls when the feeling of community that was already there was enhanced by an event and they're emotional over people on their phone

[burstingsunrise]

If you managed to process it, I would love to hear a story about your experience at Luke's Fonda show🥰 No pressure though, only if you want😊

funny timing for this, i wrote up a little summary post a while ago and have been kind of working up to posting it.

it's hard, because how do you adequately summarize something that means so much to you? it feels like nothing i say will be enough, but i do want to share some things about it, because i think that will help it feel real. thank u for asking and providing the encouragement. <3 emo bullet points ahead! i tried to focus mainly on show-related things but this experience wasn't just important to me because of the shows, so some of the other stuff sneaks in.

that’s the first thing. it didn���t feel real, and it still kind of doesn’t. because i was only there for a few days, and i spent every morning getting coffee with meg and every night seeing luke perform my favorite album. like…that’s not real. that can’t be real. 

accidentally but unsurprisingly coordinating outfits with meg on night one. the scientology recruiter on the sidewalk recognizing us from the day before when we’d walked by.

stress buying armloads of merch from an incredibly patient and probably at least somewhat high guy who immediately forgot about me, but who i will probably forever remember fondly.

roy and the mustard having a chat in the balcony.

standing in the crowd waiting for the first show to start. all of the anticipation mixed with all these different emotions, and then finally luke appears on stage. sings the opening of a beautiful dream. the lights shine on him more brightly as it crescendos and we finally get a good look at him. i turn to meg and i say “he’s so sparkly.”

comedown on night one. hearing “let me see all the things that i was supposed to see” while i was there. seeing it.

being able to look over at meg meaningfully when certain things happened during the shows, including but not limited to luke’s gratuitous displays of ass. poetic, really.

leaving the venue night one, in a daze. one of the security guys saying “have a good night” on our way out the door. he had no idea. no fucking idea what we’d just been through. have a good night! now that your lives have been changed forever! sausages on the sidewalk.

collapsing in the hotel lobby, quietly reviewing photos and videos, actually being able to do it openly and to talk about it or not talk about it, and to finally start to have it sink in.

staying up way too late, and eventually falling asleep in my new luke shirt.

the woman with the intense boston accent who hopped on the elevator and immediately asked me if the hotel had a coffee shop with a level of desperation in her voice that spoke to me deeply.

finding sam and meghna in line for night two, and the strange euphoria of speaking openly about things I almost never can to people i just met, but also already knew. being annoying and posting the same palm trees. wishing it would have worked out for emie to be there too.

grabbing meg’s hand to pull her into the crowd on night two. the feeling of relief. somehow we did it. two nights, two shows, two opportunities for everything to go wrong, but actually everything (or at least the things that mattered most) went right.

every time luke gazed our direction, on night two, which felt like a lot, and how every time it was kind of unbearable in the best way. because it’s him and because he was singing songs that mean so much to me while it felt like he was staring into my soul, and because i could look over at meg and know she knew exactly what i was feeling.

the shows going by so fast. i tried so hard to be in the moment and appreciate every second, but it was such a strange, out of body experience. this was something i’d daydreamed about and pictured in my head, but i never thought it was a real possibility. and even in my daydreams, i couldn’t fathom being that close to luke and being there with meg while it happened. it felt surreal that these things were actually happening to me.

the way luke smiled during the breakdown in mum, but also looked like he was dying so beautifully during place in me. admiring his large mouth during slip away. (it really does some riveting things to hit those points of emphasis.)

all the times he ran his hands through his hair to push it back off his forehead. all the times it fell right back where it was. the way he started the shows with it styled, but by comedown it was already just a perfect mess.

his silver nails and his new necklaces and the way his eyes sparkled.

night two, when luke started singing the new bloodline verse. that moment of “what is this? i don’t know this?” it hits different when it’s a song you know so well it’s like it’s a part of you, and suddenly there’s something new to it. thinking about those new lyrics, where they came from, how long they’ve existed, when and why luke decided to add them in, but just for night two.

the talking breaks, ranging from “i’m fuckin’ terrified” early on night one to “can you see my nipples in this shirt” late on night two. octopuses hanging from the ceiling. he didn’t know if anyone would like the album. but he knows we like to scream. making the album was such a very him thing to do, and it’s friday, and he’s in love.

the confetti cannon going off during starting line on night two, being positioned so it rained confetti into my hair, into my purse, down my shirt. it was blue and white and silver because of course it was, because luke thinks about these things.

his smiles and waves and little bows at the end. the shuffle step off stage and the way i watched his back disappear into the darkness until i couldn’t see him at all.

spending both shows with my hands clasped over my heart. it wasn’t a conscious choice. it’s just where they landed.

being stuck in the crowd after the night two show ended, surrounded by groups of people taking pictures of each other’s mascara tears or lying facedown in the confetti. seeing myself in some of those photos a few days later on twitter. and not just those photos - photos from the stage too. the photo luke posted (and took down). and the photo where meg and i are looking up at him with lovestruck smiles.

walking down hollywood boulevard at night, almost silent. walking down the other side of hollywood boulevard the next night, dodging drunk people, talking about luke’s nipples.

making the most absurd pouty face and waving pathetically on the elevator as i left meg on the 9th floor for the last time, then trying not to sob stepping out onto the 16th.

the trip home. feeling physically awful from several days living on iced lattes, kind bars, and no sleep. emotionally drained, sad to be leaving luke and la and meg. sitting at the airport, wishing i could be with my friends at the beach instead.

getting home, unpacking, tucking away my confetti for safekeeping. so incredibly happy but also so devastated to know that it really is possible to have it all, but only for a few days. grateful i had the chance at all, and that it worked out as well as it did.

[sleepyskydraws]

Inktober day 9 - Bounce

[eddis-not-eeddis]

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[readyfreddy]

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[flowered-mp3]