#i'm in fact ignoring all the traumatic events

[caprisonnetrinker]

Why does the whole tomarrymort fandom simply accept no glory!Voldemort's behavior?

"Oh no he did- well wasn't as bad as that one time when..."

Like my man needs professional help for all the shit he's doing (and me too because he's hilarious)

[descendant-of-truth]

Y'know, it occurs to me - Movie!Sonic has a lot more in common Shadow than any other version of Sonic that I know of, and that creates a unique storytelling opportunity that wouldn't have been possible before.

Because originally, Shadow having a dark and traumatic backstory was what separated him from Sonic. Their similarities came out more in their confidence, their playful attitude, and even their withdrawn demeanor (though Shadow's is more extreme). Sonic's genuine ability to be carefree and optimistic was his biggest difference from Shadow.

In the movies, Sonic is... not nearly as put-together. Just like Shadow, his personality is shaped almost entirely from the result of tragedy. Both of them had to watch their closest family member get shot trying to save them from raiders (who were specifically targeting them for their powers) by sending them to Earth. The difference here is that, for Shadow, this event is fresh in his mind, while Sonic's had ten years (give or take) to accept what happened and move on.

Except, there's more, because losing Longclaw is itself not the main thing informing Sonic's character - it's the fact that he spent those next ten years in near-total isolation. Also similarly to Shadow, he took the last words his family said to him very seriously, and she told him to stay hidden no matter what. Combine that with the natural fear of what being found did to Longclaw, and the majority of Sonic's life has been spent hidden away, looking out at the world but unable to participate in it.

Remind you of anyone?

(I swear if the movie doesn't make a point about this parallel specifically I'm gonna lose it)

Normally, Sonic is a silly and upbeat character because that's just how he is by nature, and the feelings he keeps to himself are rarely detrimental to his health. In the movie universe, Sonic is silly and upbeat because he needed to be that way in order for his life to be bearable.

His constant chatter isn't quirky for the sake of it, it's a habit he developed out of necessity because there was no one else to talk to. He compulsively needs to fill the silence because not doing that would only reinforce how alone he was, and it's something he can't shake off even when he's not by himself anymore. His primary method of handling his feelings is to ignore them until they literally explode out of him with lightning firing everywhere.

All of this to say, a Shadow meant to be a foil to this Sonic is going to look very different from the Shadow we're used to. From what little about the movie's events have been described as of writing this, I'm inferring that Shadow's actually going to be a lot more open about his motivations for revenge than he was in the game, and that puts Sonic in the very interesting position of being more closed-off than Shadow.

Because sure, he might try to connect with Shadow's pain like he did with Knuckles. But because Sonic and Knuckles's history was so directly connected, they didn't really have to... talk that much about it. Sonic could acknowledge that they both lost their families a long time ago without having to go into detail about it or the aftermath. And because it had been so long since it happened, it was a lot easier for them to put it behind them and move on.

Shadow can't do that, because for him, Maria was lost very recently. He's not going to accept "you can move on and find new people to care about" as an option, and Sonic can't very well tell him to just ignore it like he did, either. Shadow isn't going to do the whole repression shtick.

For the first time, getting through to Shadow may just depend on Sonic being able to acknowledge his own pain, first. After all, how's Shadow supposed to interpret Sonic, if not as some random guy with a perfectly happy family and an obnoxiously happy attitude telling him that he needs to just, get over what happened to him? How can that come across as anything but naive and shallow without understanding how much Sonic suffered to get to this point?

(It's still a little naive and shallow even with that in mind, but the reason for that isn't because he has no perspective on what experiencing a violent tragedy is like - it's because his only known way of handling it is to leave it in the past and Not Think About It)

Though I do wonder if there's room for Sonic to initially clam up on his emotions even more after meeting Shadow for a bit? Like, he learns to some extent what happened, and is like "aw jeez if this is what could happen if I let myself be more upset about my lot in life then I REALLY need to reign it in" which is the exact opposite lesson he needs to learn but would be really interesting to watch

Point being, I think Sonic and Shadow are being set up as even more like mirrors to each other than usual, and I can't wait to see what they do with that potential

[hannigramislife]

I just encountered a person comparing Jiang Cheng and Jiang Yanli, saying how Jiang Cheng got his parents' worst attributes and Jiang Yanli got the best, and after a whole lot of bullshit I'm not gonna repeat, another really tried to erase Jiang Cheng's sacrifice by saying he didn't distract the Wens in the book, but lost his golden core for revenge.

I think this has been a little eye-opening for me, as to why people hate Jiang Cheng and why they can't stand to see the good in him.

Because to see the good in him, is to acknowledge that he is not the man they make him out to be, which, obvious so far. But to really see the good in him, is also to see the hurt in him. To see the suffering that their image of "cold, cruel jc" can't allow.

And to see the suffering means to acknowledge the ways his family - all of his family - failed him.

His father failed him completely, and I don't even have to elaborate. His mother failed him by always putting him on the spot, straining his relationship with his brother, not supporting him in learning for the sake of the leader he was going to be, but out of spite to her husband. Wei Wuxian failed him post-war, because he pulled away from Jiang Cheng completely, causing the chain of events to lead to what it did.

This is not taking into account the emotional toll and influence that Wei Wuxian's presence had his entire life, since they met, because most of that wasn't on Wei Wuxian, but only the fact that Jiang Cheng was given the tall order to rebuild Lotus Pier and take care of his sect, and Wei Wuxian made that all the much harder, and then he left of course.

Jiang Yanli also failed him, and this might be controversial, but this is my opinion as an older sibling myself. The fact that we don't have a single scene where she's offering him support exclusively, without Wei Wuxian in the picture, can be attributed (maybe) to the fact that the story is from Wei Wuxian's pov, but I still think that Jiang Yanli was wrong to go to that battlefield, defenseless, because what happened? She died in Jiang Cheng's arms, leaving him with the added trauma, as well as an infant child to care for.

I realize this is all from a particular point of view, and not taking into account the reasons others did what they did. I know they have their reasons. And they are always allowed those reasons, they justify their actions.

Why isn't Jiang Cheng, who was the youngest of the Jiang family, a boy who had to become a man so his people could rely on him, a boy so traumatized by what happened, what he witnessed, what he went through—

Why is he not allowed his reasons? His grief? Why was he not allowed ignorance?

[trans-leek-cookie]

chewing on my hands no curly did not need to fucking murder jimmy to protect Anya. He wouldn't, not Just because of the fact murder even in self defense is deeply distressing and therefore. Y'know a last resort (and Jimmy is his friend. I am curious how long Jimmy's weird resentment has existed and if it was ever obvious before the events of the game but I'm getting off track) but also. Anya LITERALLY SAYS "I have to believe our worst moments don't make us monsters" like I'm not saying she's at all okay w what jimmy did but like!!!

She's VERY OBVIOUSLY conflicted and coping! She DOESNT want him dead (well maybe she does but I don't think it's something she thinks would actually be an easy fix. She doesn't want it Logically bc the situation is. Y'know it's a spaceship w 5 ppl and he's the fuckin co pilot)

CURLY COULDVE STILL DONE MORE AND HANDLED THE SITUATION BETTER!!! Personal opinion he didn't realize it was SA and/or didn't realize how traumatic it was for Anya until she brought up pregnancy and its a mix of genuine and willful ignorance (which Logically Makes Sense but is still not an excuse) but like. He says himself she doesn't get psych evaluations!

Murder is not an easy solution! Some survivors/victims want their abusers to die and that's its own discussion, but even beyond morality and ethics: thats 20% of the fucking staff on this stupid ship!

There's a longer post to be made about the fact capitalism is the ultimate enabler of these issues and dynamics, because the combination of isolation, small crew size, complete abscence of support, disregard for employee safety and physical danger all contributed to the fact this Could Happen and the fact this Is Such A Fucking Hard Situation even if you always prioritize the victim bc. Anya's safety is threatened either way- letting Jimmy do Whatever is obviously dangerous, but also HES THE CO PILOT! The events of the game are literally an example of why you NEED A CO PILOT (though in game he's fucking. Shit at his job which y'know) because you need redundancies to make sure you arent Completely reliant on one person (like. Imagine if Anya got seriously injured. There goes the medical staff. Maybe the others have basic training but Jesus Christ being the ONLY medical expert on staff. And even then iirc she's a nurse which not to downplay the work that goes into that but it is fundamentally one of MULTIPLE medical jobs and only having A Nurse is. FOR OVER A YEAR OF TRAVEL GOOD LORD THIS IS A NIGHTMARE) anyways. Longer post by someone smarter Abt how even though jimmy is an awful person a lot of the harm he does is only possible bc of a combination of The Situation (isolation + small group) and His Power (social power as a man over the One Woman and power as the second in command)

This post got away from me bc this game makes me think a lot but what I actually wanted to say is: Curly could have done more by being more present for Anya and being more Aware of Jimmy's actions (and intervening to make sure he isn't able to interact with Anya in isolated settings). Like I also think straight up murder isn't an ideal solution but like. There's a lot of fucking THINGS YOU CAN DO TO SUPPORT VICTIMS THAT ARENT MURDER

In the end I think it's a consequence of basing the approach on punishing the aggressor rather than supporting the victim, because like. It's less important to Kill Jimmy (no matter how much you want to) and way more important to KEEP ANYA SAFE

[kryptonbabe]

A personal argument in favor of transgression in fandom spaces

Marquis de Sade (1740-1814), would he write Wincest, Reylo and Zadr fanfiction with obsessive yandere mafia boss tropes if he was alive today?

It's so weird for me to come to fandom at my current age (30) and with my background, I was not a very online teenager, I had an art tumblr growing up, but that was very far from the whole Superwholock bubble and discourse. My first interests reading were classic literature and stuff from school and Harry Potter for little bit, then Tolkien for a long time, then science-fiction and transgressive literature, starting with A Clockwork Orange, then Piano Teacher, Bret Easton Ellis, Yukio Mishima, Dennis Cooper etc. I'm a sensitive traumatized person (for reasons I won't explain) and I've been depressed and anxious most of my life, experiencing disturbing intrusive thoughts, so the themes in fiction that interested me were always the things I was most afraid and uncomfortable with in real life, traumatic events close to me that I had no other way to explore and no one else to talk to about. In a way transgressive art was always there for me, showing me how evil thoughts and experiences are not an exclusive thing, not a burden I must carry alone, those artists and writers also cared and thought about those things in meaningful ways, that was a relief. Slowly and with therapy I learned to organize my intrusive thought as creative thoughts, ideas I could use to paint or write, and this really really helped me.

The thing is I started to get interested in comic books too, this by the age of 20, reading them by myself and sharing my ideas with some close friends who didn't care about comics, but would listen to me. I started being active in fandom spaces recently, almost ten years after I started reading comics and, oh boy, is this a different environment. Where the morally ambiguous, weird and transgressive are very close to forbidden, people are divided among anti and proshippers, and exploring heavy themes and disturbing scenarios is frowned upon. I recently read about an Invader Zim artist who was bullied and had to abandon their blog due to attacks to their weird art. As if Comte de Lautréamont, Marquis de Sade, Georges Bataille and I don't know, the fucked up passages of the Bible never existed, to free us from the closed-mindness. It's all so backwards, restrictive and conservative. Not the fact that some people do not want to engage with these themes, you have the right to do so, but we accomplish nothing by judging and hating on people who want to talk about these subjects, who understand the human nature as a complex experience not imune to evil, malice, bizarre impulses and desires.

Talking about these things is different from supporting and agreeing with them, but they are a part of our existence and sometimes expressing awful experiences through art is the only escape someone have. To ignore the worst in us is a conservative attitude that idealizes a perfect conduct and ideal way of being, an hygienist perception of what it means to be human, with a lack of nuance and complexity that is just boring on top of being a form of censorship.

[justafterjericho]

PEACKEEPING OCCUPATION?!!!ZAUN'S PERVERSE ABOMINATIONS???!!!! FUCK YOU CAITLYN!!!!!!! (I'm at the start of the 5th episode and had to take a pause and write this rant to calm myself xD)

But also on serious note I really like how they've been writting Caitlyn this seasons. I've been kinda annoyed at the forth episode and Caitlyn being all peaceful on Ambessa (while we see what's actually happening in Zaun), but in retrospect I really like it. Because it really shows that Catelyn is still Caitlyn.

I've seen posts here about how the Caitlyn we know is still in there and it kinda felt like what Vi did with Jinx the whole time in the 1st season - the "She's till there, I can reach her". Like 10 years old Powder (or however old was she in s1a1) was somewhere hidden (inprisoned) inside the whole nightmare that is Jinx (from Vi perspective) and the moment Vi reached her sister and "free her" Jinx would become the (idealised version of) little Powder. It was the kind of cliché that you can see in lots of media, but I'm pretty sure people actually don't work like that. Jinx is different from Powder because of shit ton of trauma but also because she's quite older. Her exsperiences shaped her and because they were so extreme, they shaped her extremely, but Jinx and Powder are the same person just at the different point of time. Jinx herself my visualise the change as POwder being death but that doesn't make it actually true. Vi, after her own trauma from the end of s1e3 and the years in prison views change as something inherently scary and when she realised both that her sister won't turn back to little Powder and that her sister is pretty unstable and quite terrible person who did terrible things, decided to continue her divorcing od Powder and Jinx but instead of trying to save Powder decided that Powder (her sister) is death and was killed by Jinx (not her sister) who's pretending to be Powder and thus defyling her memory. Which is quite interesting from the perspective of what it shows us about Vi and her phsyche but doesn't change that it isn't true. Vi my disown Jinx as her sister, that's her right and I wouldn't even really blame her (even though I symphatised with Jinx a lot in the first season and I actually really like her thgis one), but that doesn't change the fact that Powder survived and changed and became Jinx, Powder didn't die, she changed but she's still alive only now she's using a name Jinx.

Unlike Jinx, Caitlyn didn't actually changed during years of growing up from child to adult (or almost adult) after big traumatic event, for her there wasn't really that big of a time between the traumatic event and present time in act 2. I still kinda thought that she would like became this merciless dictator doing war crimes unrecognizable from Caityn in season one, but she didn't, not really. Well she's dictator doing and allowing terrible things to happen (including war crimes) but at the same time she's still quite recognizable as Caitlyn in what she's saying, in how she's thinking. She's not some nightmerish version of Caitlyn under which the "real Caitlyn" from season 1 can be found. She's Caitlyn who was traumatised and before that spent her whole life in very privileged positions raised with lots of biases, that now reared their ugly heads when they become justified to her. But she's not a wholy different person. And she doesn't see herself as a bad person - so she's justifiyng all her actions while being quite self-righteous (her conversation with Ambessa - it's easy to see the "Old Cait" here with the whole peaceful speaking, but you have to ignore the fact that she's actually in charge, Ambessa is manipulating her, yes, but Caitlyn is the one making decisions, Caitlyn is the one who made the decisions to "peacefully occupy" Zaun, who's letting all the police brutaloity happen and at the same time she's moralizing to Ambessa and I don't think she's seeing the irony).

[hachibani]

i'd never seen a dog tear up

I don't think i ever wrote about it here but Bianca died on march 5th of 2021, she got diagnosed cancer in 2020 just before lockdown and major pandemic events and unfortunately every treatment I could get her in such times were not enough or too late and the moment her metastasis became unresponsive to pain medicine i decided to let her go

i know i didn't talk about her a lot here since twitter became my main site of activity for years but i remember when she had her accident back in 2016 i posted about her here too, i got a lot of support and commissions to pay for her treatment and thankfully i got support as well when i opened comms there to pay for her chemo and surgeries, and for that i will always be thankful. I don't know why but I kind of had thought if I ever post about Bianca again here in this little old blog it'd be about her beating her cancer, something happy

i really regret the fact i didn't post more about her when she was alive and once she died my depression got so bad i was either unavailable or tried to ignore the pain by focusing on personal work... to this day it still hurts to think of everything that i could or should have done even if there's no way i cannot go back in time

losing bianca after almost 13 years of being together and more than half of my life at the time with her was more traumatic than i'd like to admit, so i try to rationalize little things like not being able to replace her picture even after so long, the most i've done is sell her stroller and i still kind of regret that haha;; but neither of her brothers fit in and at some point it became too much of a reminder of her illness and last days it felt like i had to, but just that one

(even thinking she was part of my life for 1/2+ of it and that that fraction will become smaller as time passes feels so wrong it might make me cry again)

i didn't get to draw her as much as i wished either, i thought i could never capture her cuteness (i still struggle) but since i drew her again on her first death anniversary i thought "i could somewhat get her to look cute" and i try to draw her looking like this from then on https://twitter.com/hachibani/status/1500315555215126536

because of her i started drawing pets more often, my goal for this year was to draw her at least once a month but... i didn't draw her at all in february, i think i'd like to make up and draw her again this month if my free time allows it, i never thought i'd get to complete a comic (albeit short) about these feelings i've had, i have still, i don't know for how long i'll have

doing personal art like this has never been easy but i somehow feel less heavy now, maybe it's bc of the wall of text i'm leaving haha

[hiiragi7]

hi there!! i've been reading some of the discussions you've had & many of them are super informative and some comforting to read from the perspective of someone who's questioning if they might be plural/have a CDD. i really appreciate ur blog & the views and experiences u share on it, it feels like a warm hug amidst The Horrors of Syscourse.

i've had something on my mind though. this is probably a silly question, but it's possible to have a CDD without (C)PTSD, right? admittedly i'm kind of just asking this for reassurance while i'm on my own discovery journey. like. i have experienced traumatic events and some of it is ongoing & i'm still living with the people responsible, but i don't think i fit the PTSD criteria due to not experiencing flashbacks or strong emotions related to the events—i usually just feel totally empty & detached from it. i still believe i've been negatively affected by the events hence considering them traumatic, but that doesn't include any kind of flashbacks.

i've been trying to look into it & find answers but i've seen a lot of conflating of having experienced trauma with having PTSD, so most of what i find is "can you be plural/have a CDD without trauma" discourse.

i think it'd be neat to see more conversations about this but free to ignore this ask if u don't want to answer it/if u don't feel equipped to! wishing u the best. have a great day!!

This is actually a very interesting question.

I've read a lot of medical literature on trauma, and each author in the field seems to define what qualifies as PTSD or PTSD symptoms differently, which also lines up with my own experiences with medical professionals in practice. In general, me simply being traumatized was enough for me to be given an automatic PTSD diagnosis, regardless of which therapist or psychiatrist I saw. Some professionals I saw were very specific with what they called what, others were a lot more loose with it.

I've seen a lot of differing definitions and academic debate over what qualifies as a flashback, dissociation, a posttraumatic symptom, and so on. That is to say, it can all be very vague.

For example, there are other forms of flashbacks that exist outside of the well-known ones; some people only relive traumatic events emotionally, or through repeated thought processes, or somatic pain. A lot aren't even aware these are flashbacks, because it's experienced as 'random' emotions or pain or spirals or some other response, and a lot have trouble figuring out what even triggers these responses.

Would these experiences fall under what we call flashbacks in PTSD? Well, it probably depends on who you ask. And, in practice, whether someone with these experiences gets diagnosed with PTSD or a mood disorder or a personality disorder or somatic pain syndrome depends on the medical professional evaluating them.

To further complicate it, a lot of people don't experience overt c/PTSD symptoms until they are no longer living in the traumatic situation, which, for people who develop cPTSD, means they may not show obvious symptoms until a very, very long time after the trauma started. I didn't start getting "classic" PTSD flashbacks and "waking up in a panic attack in the middle of the night" type nightmares about the trauma until I wasn't around the people who did it anymore. However, I have experienced many other trauma-related symptoms and heavy dissociation ever since I was very very little. Before I was diagnosed with PTSD in highschool, I was diagnosed with a lot of other things first.

There's also just the fact that, for whatever reason, people don't all develop the same symptoms in response to trauma. Some people with very complex trauma never experience classic PTSD symptoms. Some people are very dissociative and numb, or develop mood disorders, or obsessive-compulsive symptoms, or somatic symptoms, or eating disorders, or some combination of things. Some people never externally harm themselves or cope using substances while others develop addictions to these things.

In addition, some people's experiences with trauma don't fall under the PTSD criteria's definition of trauma, so even if other symptoms are present they don't "technically" fit criteria. And sometimes medical professionals use their own judgement and diagnose these people with PTSD anyway, and sometimes they don't.

Plenty of people diagnosed with other childhood trauma-based disorders besides CDDs also don't fit c/PTSD criteria or show many c/PTSD symptoms or receive a comorbid c/PTSD diagnosis for whatever reason. It's complicated and messy.

This is all to say, I've encountered medical professionals who treat PTSD as synonymous with "traumatized" and are very loose with what they call PTSD and I've also encountered medical professionals who are very strict about the criteria and are very insistent on only diagnosing people who fit that, and I've met a lot of professionals somewhere in the middle as well. I've also encountered plenty who would much rather focus on helping the symptoms than on what the diagnosis is or isn't, and who don't really like the way mental health diagnosis is structured in the first place.

So, to come back to your question... I don't think there really is an objective answer to it, though personally I'd just say "sure it's possible, and I wouldn't really worry about it much."

In the end, what I've found is that it doesn't actually really matter that much? Regardless of whether there is comorbid PTSD or whether there isn't (or whether it's delayed onset or etc), in the end what you're dealing with if you have a CDD is still trauma, and the treatment for that is more or less the same, regardless of what you call it. There might be differences in, say, approaches to medication specifically, or specific symptoms, but even that is often just throwing things at the wall and seeing what sticks. Honestly, in my experience, treatment mostly looks different based on symptoms and individual needs rather than diagnoses, really.

In general, I find that a lot of people dealing with trauma and mental illness tend to over-focus on diagnosis and getting it right and trying to figure out whether they "really" have something or whether they're mistaken or somehow faking or so on. I think that's an unhelpful approach to it; there's no objective way to confirm that sort of thing, and either way you still need ways to cope with your symptoms, and coping skills are useful regardless of diagnosis. Learning how to ground yourself is useful regardless of whether you "really" dissociate that bad, learning emotional regulation skills is useful regardless of whether you "really" have severe mood swings, learning calming techniques and self-care and how to be gentle with yourself are good things for everyone to learn, coping skills are not just for people with certain diagnoses. In fact, you don't even need a diagnosis of anything to do these things.

And with trauma, like... it's all just trauma processing in the end, really.

I'll even go as far to say that even if you don't have PTSD, books and resources for PTSD might still be useful to you if you have a CDD or another trauma-related disorder, since a lot of symptoms overlap with other disorders and especially with trauma the recommendations for what to do about it tend to be applicable to a lot of different situations outside of strictly PTSD.

I realize I rambled a long time just to say "well, it's complicated and depends on what we mean by PTSD, but also it's all trauma anyway" but I hope this was helpful still?

I'm also glad to hear what you said about my blog, it was very nice to read.

[veenus777]

◜𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐍𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐖𝐞 𝐌𝐞𝐭 ◞

          ┊ ᝰ﹕Characters : Dad! Jason Todd x Vigilant! Reader

          ┊ ᝰ﹕Summary : My first Todd FamilyVerse post and I'm really excited about it, the following posts will follow the results of the poll previously posted here on my profile. I'm going to consider this a chapter so it will tell about how Y/N and Jason met and it will be divided into two parts, this is the first of them, I hope you like it <3

          ┊ ᝰ﹕Word Count : 527

          ┊ ᝰ﹕Theme : a little angst, difficult childhood and "mention" of death

During her 12 long years of life, Y/N knew only one reality: that of an assassin, molded into this destiny since the age of 12 when she became a hired killer and a small pet for the black mask, living on the crime alley streets, surviving on stolen wallets and leftover food. Then, they appeared, her mothers, the most functional dysfunctional family Y/N had ever known, the only family she had. Despite being crazy, thieves, and ecoterrorists, they cared for her as a daughter, despite the circumstances. Being raised by the sirens of Gotham had its advantages.

Some children, greatly admiring their parents, dream of following in their footsteps, and with Y/N, there was no difference, except that her steps would lead to becoming an internationally wanted thief at the age of seventeen. Well, let's say Batman didn't approve of the paths her life was taking and always kept a watchful eye on her actions. Despite this, things were going well until she met him.

He was 5'5, with the bluest eyes she had ever seen and an impulsive and cheeky personality. They hated each other, not because they were enemies, but because they were so alike. It all started with a confrontation while Catwoman was once again robbing Gotham's museum. Y/N, better known as Copycat, was the great distraction. Batman knew Selina's moves well enough to let Robin go in his place, and then they met and fought. It would be an understatement to say that Robin took only a small beating. Since then, they hated each other for every minute after that, but despite denying it to death, they enjoyed it, the hatred, the fights, and the provocations. They counted the minutes to meet again, always claiming that the reason was revenge.

By some twist of fate or just his irony, Y/N was there, sitting on the edge of some Gotham gargoyle. It wasn't a good day; in fact, it was the complete opposite. And then, suddenly, he's there behind her, the green and red uniform a bit stained, and a paper bag in his hands. She knew he was there, but she didn't even have the energy to start a fight or provoke. Somehow, he knew that. So, he just sat there in silence, opening the bag and taking something out, surprising Y/N with a sandwich. She initially refused, but he just ignored it and left the sandwich in her hands until she gave up and just surrendered, taking a few bites. They remained seated in silence with the sounds of Gotham's night in the background. What was supposed to be a rare event began to happen frequently until one day, silence was replaced by single words, and then sentences, and finally, deep conversations where they lost themselves in time.

They were alike, children with difficult and traumatic pasts adopted by people of questionable psychological character. They both knew what it was like to fight for survival and the difficulties they had faced. Thus, they went from enemies to friends and then to something more. They knew and trusted each other despite the masks and codenames.

But things wouldn't be good forever. On that night, he didn't show up, so Y/N decided to look for him. He was on top of Wayne Enterprises, but that wasn't the same Robin she knew. He was different, agitated, and anxious. He told her about his fight with Batman and his plan to go after the Joker. She tried to stop him, but it was too late; he was determined. She tried to convince him, but the voices got louder and more disturbed. Tears flowed down her domino mask as she turned her back on him and walked away. The next day, she wanted to resolve things and apologize. She went to the gargoyle, their place, and sat there, waiting. But hours turned into days, days into weeks, weeks into months, and months into years, but he never came back.

.˚｡  💋 .˚｡ 💌

[keeperofthebees]

do I have your attention? good

just realized I've not seen a single person say that Miguel has PTSD but Miguel abso-fucking-lutely has PTSD and I'm surprised more people haven't like noticed like it's so obvious

The traumatic event was. you know. his daughter dying in his arms as the entire universe crumbled around him. That's why Peter is so comfy with him, cause he saw that happen and knows "if that happened to me I wouldn't fare much better" and Miguel is his friend, first and foremost. Second, his boss. And third, a man with PTSD. that's less important to him because he likes Miguel and Miguel is not his trauma.

some symptoms of ptsd I'd like to point out specifically bc i think they apply:

avoidance of situations that bring back memories of the trauma (👀)

heightened reactions

agitation

irritability

hostility

hypervigilance

self-destructive behavior

social isolation

severe anxiety

mistrust

guilt

loneliness

emotional detachment

now I want you to look at these and the look at me and tell me Miguel doesn't have PTSD. look me in my face.

I have seen a lot of people calling Miguel a "monster" and an "asshole" and some other not nice things and i... guess I could... try and ignore the fact that he is a brown man with anger issues and PTSD being called a monster specifically by white fandom members. yes, he has fangs and claws. and if they're not calling him a monster, they're being horny about him. which is fine. except when it's the only goddamn thing I SEE IN THE TAG DO YOU GUYS SEE MEN OF COLOR AND JUST LOSE ALL SENSE OF CIVILITY COME ON.

Sorry. sorry.

I think it's been so long since the movie came out that people have absorbed the jokes and horny and lost the plot, you know?

cause the Miguel O'Hara tag is filled to the brim with x readers and hornyposting and people making fun of miguel for having PTSD so I just kinda miss critical thinking skills a little bit. I get the jokes. I understand them. but I feeeeeel like Miguel's actual character is getting lost in the sauce.

Yes, Miles is 15. But to Miguel, this 15 year old is trying to go back and kill 7 billion people. an entire multiverse. that's what he thinks. The needs of the many, right? Too many people have boiled it down to "Miguel hates Miles for not wanting his dad to die" which makes my autistic little brain sob.

yeah ok I care too much about a fictional guy whatever but he is not getting the justice he deserves from ANYONE in this goddamn house.

[historicity-was-already-taken]

This morning I picked up my paper copy of the New York Times and I was greeted by an extremely graphic article about rape as warfare in Israel/Palestine on the front page. I put the paper down, but it got me thinking about the value of reading about violence. When is reading these testimonies bearing witness to history, and when is it masochism? How do you discern between productive discomfort and unnecessary anguish?

I don't expect you to have the answer to these because they are such immense questions and also things vary from person to person, but I am interested to hear your thoughts on the issue as a historian who is outspoken about the effects of secondhand trauma through genocide research. My degree isn't in history, but I'm an aspiring museum professional (if the job market isn't too cruel, lol. I'm open to other careers but I'm passionate about weaving archival materials into public storytelling so *gestures vaguely*). I also have a really thin skin. I tend to avoid graphic depictions/descriptions of violence, but sometimes I wonder what I'm missing by avoiding that.

Anyway! Feel free to answer this privately, publicly, or not at all if you're swamped with other things. Thank you for running such an informative and interesting blog!

Hi! Sorry this was buried in my inbox.

It's a good question, and I'm not sure how to answer it in regard to contemporary, ongoing events, vs. history. I do think that the 24/7 news cycle has exposed us all to an amount of suffering and stressful information that we're not like...designed to be able to handle.

So I'm going to answer you like a museum professional, and use that shared language. Back in 2009/10 I was a Collections Management Intern at the 9/11 Memorial and Museum. This was before it opened to the public. While I was mostly cataloging, the staff was great about letting us listen on on ongoing higher level conversations.

I'm putting the rest of this under a cut, for reason which will be clear when you read what's under said cut.

Now, two of the (imo) most traumatic aspects of the history of that day, is 1) the photographs and footage of people who jumped from above the impact zones; and 2) the audio from phone calls and voicemails made from inside the planes, inside the towers, etc.

The museum handled those by making them optional. You want to listen to the last thing a woman in an office above the impact zone will say to her child? Ok. You have to make the choice to pick up audio mechanism, and press play. You want to watch footage of people jumping to their deaths to avoid burning to death? You have to make the specific choice to walk into a cordoned off vestibule, and view that material.

If you choose not to listen, or watch, you're not ignoring those histories or refusing to bear witness. You're fully cognizant of the fact that they happened, and you're simply choosing not to expose yourself to traumatic content. Bearing witness doesn't mean traumatizing yourself for the sake of bearing witness, you know?

I think it's enough to know that certain horrific things happened. Going that next step, looking at them, that's not necessary, and can't be rushed. When I was in undergrad I chose to focus on Ancient Near Eastern History as opposed to WW2 and the Holocaust because I know I wasn't ready to look too closely. I wasn't even really ready in grad school. It's really in the last 5/6 years that I've been able to do it. And I still don't think I'll ever be able to engage with detailed material about medical experimentation. But I know it happened. I know it was horrifying, and that's enough.

So, back to news media. I didn't see/read that article, but what I can say is that I appreciate when newspapers decline to put certain kinds of images on the front pages, and give the reader the option to look or not to look. I also appreciate when you're reading articles online, and you have to click multiple times to explicitly consent to view disturbing images.

[zonedallthewayout]

Mini rant I suppose-

So I'm reading Catcher in the Rye for school right now, and I've heard a lot of weird takes on it. The most common one being, "Holden is a rich cishet white boy, what does he have to complain about??? He has it all and is just whiny." and just generally ignoring the facts that:

1) mental illness/ disorders aren't exclusive to minority groups and doesn't always come from external circumstances

2) Holden has some pretty serious events in his life that he kind of brushes off in the book, but are actually pretty traumatizing especially to a teenager

3) Holden's behavior and attitude toward the world isn't just some snobby rich kid complaining that he only got $100 instead of $200 this week. His general hatred for everything and the instability of his relationships are indicators of multiple possible conditions, but is most consistent with borderline personality disorder. While mental illness isn't a free pass to be a jerk, it is an explanation. It isn't his fault, as a 16-year-old boy, that he wasn't given the help he needs to get better.

4) Life isn't a competition over who has the most trauma. Just because Holden doesn't have all of the issues someone else might have doesn't make him automatically undeserving of help or understanding.

overall, i'm tired of seeing people (IRL and online) trying to one-up each other about who has the hardest life. I'm no expert, but I think if the energy we spend fighting about whether or not someone has "suffered enough to deserve help" was used to fight the systems that created that pain and lift each other up, we could make a lot more progress on the path toward healing. Invalidating other people's experiences to feel better about ourselves will never lead to a strong community.

So maybe next time you hear a friend speak about their situation, take a moment to think before responding with "At least you don't have it as bad as [x]" and try to understand their perspective.

Of course, it should be a two-way street. If someone wouldn't do the same for you, they probably aren't interested in building honest support systems and it isn't your responsibility to try and support someone who would take you down with them if they fall.

Rant over, just smth that's been on my mind recently. Disclaimer, I'm absolutely not experienced or anything, so this is mostly opinion

[ikamigami]

I'm scared that the longer Sun's alcohol problem will be ignored the more reckless he'll act and it'll eventually lead to a drama..

"What reckless things he did?" You probably ask yourself now.

After he started drinking alcohol he became more aggressive when angry, he was flirting with Foxy when he seemed weirded out whenever ship was mentioned before, he gave Dazzle 5 boxes of Dum Dums (the smallest box that I found had 120 lollipops which is 780g of candy 😭 and he gave Dazzle 5 boxes which is 3,9 kg of candy.. 🫠) and he stole sushi for 100$.. it's a lot of money.. this restaurant lost close to 15 500 yen.. you can for yourself how much this amount is valuable but it's a lot..

So you can see that Sun acts more and more recklessly.. I'm betting that Moon's mental breakdown happened later then Sun teaching Dazzle because we know that Sun took care of Moon afterwards.. or that's what I think.. Sometimes it's really hard to tell when it comes to the timeline of events in these shows..

Anyway even if this may not seem as a big deal for you.. it may become a big problem sooner or later..

I'm afraid that Sun will do either something really dangerous or stupid and the drama will ensue..

He already broke a law because he stole something..

I'm slightly disappointed (I can't find better word) with Earth because while surprised at first that Sun wanted to give Dazzle 5 boxes of Dum Dums she let him do this eventually..

It doesn't matter that Dazzle is huge.. I think that no one should it almost 4 kg of candy.. 😕 (if human ate this amount of candy in one sitting they'd risk having cardiac problems which can end up with death)

Like I said in one of my posts I think that Earth ignores signs that Sun has some serious issues because she feels safe around her older brother and doesn't want to disrupt this. Even if it's understandable that she wants to rely on her older brother I think that she knows better than that and should at least recommend Sun going to a different therapist..

I like Earth and I'm sure that she wants to have some peace in her life after all these traumatic events that happened. Even if she was sharing most of her problems with Solar it's easy to see that she views Sun as a safe person, a safe place she can rest in..

The first person she went to after Lunar killed Eclipse was Sun. I bet that she feels comforted by the fact that Sun is the oldest and despite that he went through a lot he's still the same caring person. She views Sun as someone who is smart especially in regard to social and emotional matters..

Around Sun she lets herself act like a younger sister she is. She feels safe and lets herself act silly knowing that her older brother is right there for her..

That's why she can't be Sun's therapist. Because even if she cares about Sun deeply she favorizes their sibling relationship more than therapist - patient relation. It's because it's a conflict of interests. Sun is Earth's older brother so she seeks comfort in him so when he comes for therapy from her it completely switches their places, it flips their relationship totally..

Even if she tries her best to distance herself from being Sun's younger sister during therapy sessions it's impossible to completely eradicate the way she views him. Also it's way harder for Sun to open up to her because she's his younger sister - someone he takes care of, not the other way around..

So now when Earth is physically distanced from Sun due to him living in completely separated area from her and he's seemingly doing better - he seems more relaxed (due to alcohol intake), she ignores any signs that Sun has some serious issues because he's her older brother and she feels safe around him so naturally she doesn't want to disrupt it..

"He seems so happy. The happiest I've ever seen him. If he had a problem, he'd definitely tell me about it." - I can imagine that's what Earth is thinking to herself.

It's completely fine because it's normal that she wants her older brother to feel better.. but it's not okay that she tries to give him therapy when she clearly isn't suited to help him due to conflict of interests..

[irontragedyreview]

I'm going to be honest, I wasn't going to write about the leaks in this chapter (I still like to see more leakers posting about this, especially those I trust the most), but if there is something more obnoxious than the shipper discurse, that is the men discurse and the way in which they interpret the characters in shonen, because believe me, shonen is a genre where the worst takes by men on characters are concentrated, especially when you talk about the side emotional. Seriously, many men have not left their edgy child phase who believes that the world is horrible and that the characters have to see reality, etc., outside of the children/teenagers who watch the shonen genre more than anything for the fights, etc. many men who literally have hundreds of followers who analyze the stories as if they were experts on the subject, from the most toxic masculinity perspective.

Also, in all the previous chapters I wanted to do an analysis about Tomura and Izuku but no matter how much I wanted, the words didn't come, these leaks plus certain comments managed to unlock my words.

I'm going to start with Tomura because he's the birthday boy. The takes I have read of this character throughout the manga, especially outside tumblr and by men, are terrible, however nothing compares to the comments after these leaks, from people saying that it was great because his character didn't deserve redemption, that at the end was nothing more than a puppet of AFO and therefore his construction doesn’t matter or not exist because Tomura for them didn’t exist outside as an object for AFO, etc. One of the insights that chapter 418 left is that Tomura/Tenko has never made a single decision in his life and that his path has always been marked and signed by AFO. Those words remained in the minds of the readers and were validated by the fact that the origin of Decay was made by AFO and even Tenko’s birth was planned by AFO, because again AFO is the villain of  thousand plans and is in every step. Seriously, Tenko was only born to be another pawn in AFO's game, because according to the leaks AFO created him and therefore even Tomura's decisions are only a permitted ramification of what AFO wanted him to feel and think.

However, it’s a damn lie, it doesn't matter that AFO was a starting point for Tomura, his ideas, his relationships with the LOV, are HIS. It’s that he chose, not for nothing his last words before of being swallowed by AFO were "even if all my hatred fades and only an empty shell remains, I must still be a hero for them (the villains/his LOV)” it’s the first time since the final battle began that Tomura looked closer to peace and his words were reflected in being a hero for his people, the helpless who are abandoned by society. Likewise, another of the things that was repeated during his confrontation with Izuku, it was wanting to make it clear that he wasn’t human, that nothing more but destruction would be his salvation. In the same way he repeats that he killed his family because it was his will, because someone like him was born "rotten", his quirk marked him to be only destruction. This was even repeated by AFO, the constant search for Tomura to internalize that what happened was something he was looking for and we’re aware that it’s a lie. The decay's "awakening" was a traumatic event that was exacerbated for Kotaro, who beat his son and instilled fear in him, not for nothing Tenko was having a breakdown when his quirk "awakened", he didn’t want to kill Mon-chan, his sister, his mother or family, he was a scared child who just wanted to reach a safe place. The only death where Tenko could say that he has a minimum will is with Kotaro but ignoring the context is a mistake.

It’s not innocent that during the fight in the fortress Tenko would have felt more violent and resurfaced when he saw how all the heroes around him gave their lives to revive bk, we have him screaming "why no one helped me when there was still time, when I wasn't that broken yet" (not exact words but a paraphrase), Tenko was still there fighting against AFO, Tenko never disappeared no matter how hard AFO tried to quell him, the pain of a society that ignored him formed his vision of a heroes society like something rotten, the vision of All Might as the hero who shapes a society that hides everything among shiny things but forgets those that the heroes ignore or not fit in.

Because something that we can��t ignore that the society that gave rise to villains like Tomura and even AFO, is an apathetic and cruel society to people that doesn’t fit. We can argue that beyond all the things that AFO has done, perhaps he wouldn’t be what he is now if he had not grown up in a society that had just discovered the quirks and saw some of them as monsters and others as something to worship (he kills the shine baby because he was praised), society is so apathetic that it ignores or encourages a cruelty that creates its villains and then is surprised by it. Tomura is also the result of those people who saw a child walking in the streets in shock and stained with blood and passed by and when a single person approached him, just looked at him and said well the heroes will take care of it, leaving him alone. Maybe nothing would have changed because AFO already had a plan for Tomura but the apathy of that society that prefers to ignore responsibility (I'm not talking about citizens having to enter burning buildings replacing professionals, but doing small things, helping people in a small way example helping a lost child, etc). A society that was happy with someone like All Might protected them but when he began to fail and couldn’t take his place turned their backs on him, the same citizens who are seeing children fighting a war and the only thing they think about is losing faith when the results are adverse or when they had to give a safe place to civilians like them or heroes like Deku.

It’s this society that Tomura wants to destroy and it’s understandable because, we can discuss whether the way Tomura wants to do it is correct or not, but let's not deny that Tomura gave a place to people that society pushed away because they didn’t fit in and that he wants protect. What I'm trying to get at is that everything that shaped Tomura and his decisions to create the LOV are his decisions, he isn’t a puppet and his vision isn’t to be a pawn just because AFO gave him his quirk, his vision of society isn’t wrong, Tomura chose his path, he chose his people. Izuko's analysis will come shortly because this analysis was too long for me.

[stressfree-tea]

Kinda a rant, not really? Just my opinion.

Spoilers. Read with caution ⚠️

I've heard some people say they feel as if Poppy and Branch shouldn't be getting married as it's too early. In most situations, I would agree. Considering me and my husband were together 8 years before getting married-- however, a large factor in that was high school sweethearts, and we started dating when I was 15.

I believe that Poppy and Branch have ALWAYS harbored feelings for each other - even before the events of the first movie. I've read plenty of fanfictions, and many represent Poppy constantly trying to include branch - which can be confirmed with all the invitations he has from her and kept.

Branch wants more than ANYTHING to go back out with the trolls. However, he feels a sense of responsibility to keep everyone safe without getting too close. I mean, from the first movie, we know he lost his grandma in a traumatic way, and now, with the third movie we learn, he was abandoned by his brothers. Everyone he's ever loved has left or died- which is a very valid and real reason to avoid any type of connection.

When Chef found the trolls in the first movie, Branch represented himself as not caring when, in fact, he cared so much. I think if Poppy hadn't put the whole tribe in the bunker, he eventually would have as well. If you've read or have the art book from the first movie, you know he followed poppy pretty shortly after she left to ensure her safety as well. Especially since the entire village was safe.

My point being, they have always had a connection to one another , and neither understood until spending more time together.

The first movie they had a huge adventure that was essentially life and death - henceforth growing closer to one another. Branch found he could be happy, and he helped pick up Poppy when she lost hope.

The second movie, they had another huge adventure that really explored their differences- while not being bad - but made them realize they don't need to be similar to connect in a loving way. Branch is reserved, cautious, and super caring. Poppy is extremely extroverted, ignorant in some situations, but kind and loving.

The third movie will explore things that they are learning about each other. Branch being a part of a boyband, Poppy having a sister. I'm sure we will also see Poppy comforting Branch and being there for him. "I have been by your side since the moment we met, and you've been by mine."

Considering how much they have gone through with each other and have grown not only as individuals but together makes me think it's absolutely not too soon, and I think they should certainly tie the knot.

On another note, Branch will be a great king.

Other insights are certainly welcome.

[is-this-plural]

Another character I was thinking of was SUNNY from OMORI.

I will mention a plethora of OMORI spoilers

As a result of experiencing an insanely traumatic event at a younger age, he formed an imaginary "headspace" and forgot almost everything about what happened, pretending the trauma never occurred. Throughout the game, he (you) try and learn what is actually going on, what is real and what is not, and what happened during that tragic incidenr. What he went through definitely sounds like dissociative amnesia to me.

As a result of his trauma, in order to ignore it and survive, he also formed an alternative version of himself (I assume involuntarily), OMORI. Whilst OMORI is not too different from SUNNY, while SUNNY is in some way OMORI, he's also... Not? As in, near the end of the game, they face each other in a fight, so obviously there are conflicting ideals and motives going on that separates them. (and during that fight, the soundtrack called "ALTAR" is playing, directly implying that OMORI is, in fact, SUNNY'S altar.)

SUNNY actually developed/created/turned into OMORI for defense-mechanism purposes. Again, whilst they have near-identical personalities, OMORI is definitely more powerful, he's also practically allowed to do whatever he wants, in drawings he drew he's presented as some form of GOD, he stabs things/people he doesn't like with a knife,

(at one point in the game, when sunny is out in the real world, he at one point STABS HIS OLD FRIEND WITH A KITCHEN KNIFE, completely forgetting that THAT IS NOT socially acceptable behaviour outside of his headspace)

OMORI is also named after his sister's MARI's (the one he accidentally killed...) piano brand. (Ok, actually, design-wise he was named after the term "hikikomori"meaning severe social isolation, but I'm speaking lore-wise). One could assume it is because he sometimes felt as if she played more attention to the piano than him? Or cared more about perfecting her practice for the play than his growing anxiety ...? So, as a way to cope with that as well, he would become something, or someone his sister would love the most. (His sister always loved him though, and I'm pretty sure he knew that, but heck if I know)

In the real world, once SUNNY (after years of having not been outside) goes outside, he's still, obviously, very confused, and I feel like he confuses his identity as SUNNY with his identity as OMORI. (Like with the stabbing thing I mentioned sometime earlier.)

OMORI, in many ways, wants to protect himself, and SUNNY. But he doesn't want to face the truth, that is exactly because of the aforementioned. But SUNNY needs to face the truth to carry on. And, in fact, at the end, if all goes well, SUNNY even WANTS to face the truth. But this is only after he beats OMORI, who disagrees with him, and wants him to DIE after recovering memory of the truth, of what he did to MARI. because while SUNNY may, with incredible strength and support, be capable of fighting through his struggled, OMORI can't, and doesn't view SUNNY worthy of forgiveness or living.

OMORI tried protecting him by making up an imaginary world full of his (somewhat changed) friends, MARI fully safe and guarded, and no school or parents. Which implies several things but I think I might be going on off topic.

So, depending on where he is, whether in the real world or in his own made-up one, he's either SUNNY or OMORI. But there's another thing

In the OMORI route, (the one where he simply refuses to go outside and participate in or exchange conversation or interactions with his friends), at one point, after a while of denying the truth, denying change, when he looks at the mirror, instead of seeing SUNNY (who he's supposed to see in the real world), he sees OMORI, and after that, you start playing as OMORI in the real world. Interesting to me, personally.

Another thing is that OMORI is younger than SUNNY. Permanently 12 years old (if we judge this speculation by the fact that he is noticably shorter than SUNNY). I've heard different alters may differ in age in people with DID, and that is exactly the case

In short, SUNNY might have DID because he became OMORI to survive through his trauma, definitely underwent a form of dissociative amnesia making him completely forget about the traumatic incident (among other memories) in order to protect himself (before recovering them in a deeper space in his head, the BLACK SPACE where all his suppressed emotions reside), SUNNY and OMORI are different alters because, while having similiar personalities, they have opposing/differing motives by the end, and my boy needs therapy

Sorry if I come off as snobbish or alien-like in my speech, I don't mean to indicate that type of tone while speaking, it just happens sometimes

I also apologize if I didn't explain anything properly, or forgot to mention something, or said something wrong

So do you see him as being plural / having DID / ? (I'm not sure which is the best term to use)

Rating: plural!