#i'm having a real hard time with this turning thirty thing

[itstheval]

Memory of Visitation

A @livesworthlivingau Side Story

"Oh Stars, I remember this town! This place sucked!"

Siffrin said it with a laugh as they entered Wolworth, but everyone else simply glanced strangely at him. The realization hit them at the same time it did Mira, from the look on their faces. "Time travel s-" "NO SPOILERS!"

Mira half-pulled her rapier, but the look on her face was one of jest that kept a smile on Siffrin's face, even as they raised their hands up defensively. "Okay, okay! I just…There were a lot of memories wrapped up in this town. So, uh…" His eyes flickered around to the others, looking for help, and getting only amusement at his plight.

"Hmf. I believe, I will go take a walk. To explore. Bonnie, would you come with me? You have the shopping list." "Aw, Crab, I wanted to hear!" Mirabelle harumphed her way away, frills spinning as she twirled on a heel and walked into town, leaving Siffrin staring helplessly as Bonnie rushed to catch up with her, hat bouncing with every rushed step. Vale's laugh broke the tension, and Siffrin turned back to look at them. "Oh well DONE, Stardust! We can really see the skills it took you thirty years to hone!"

The flush darkening their cheeks was matched only by their urge to snap back, and they managed to find their voice. "Don't laugh too hard, Vale, not until you find out WHAT happened here. Besides, I might make sure it happens to you…"

"We got here…I want to say a few months, after the King? We'd met you, Nille, but there was a lot you didn't know. I hadn't even opened up to everyone yet…I'd say I'm sorry, but you know. Wrong people to apologize to. But you, Odile! You're always too clever, and you'd noticed, by now."

"I'll take that as a compliment." Odile managed, smiling wryly. She recognized an Old Man Ramble by now, but Siffrin's stories were always worth the listen.

"Noticed what, precisely?" Vale's question was colder, but from the look on their face, the queasiness in their expression, they already knew.

"Well…Back then. Before I knew any better. And I want to make it real clear, I know better now! But back then, I would…Punish myself. With my dagger. For things that…hadn't happened, to any of you? And I'd hide it with my Craft, which…I learned way more about the limits of Healing Craft than I should have."

Siffrin didn't bother looking at everyone's faces. He knew what they looked like. He'd seen them before, and they broke his heart the first time, when it was Odile revealing this. Even so much later, thinking about those expressions hurt.

What he wasn't expecting was the sudden enfolding of arms around him. Isabeau's warm body against his, enfolding him, and a moment later Odile's hand on his head, patting it gently. Even Nille joined in on the hug, and a glance up showed Vale nearby, looking in. This was…different? This was nice. Until, on some unspoken signal, everyone stepped away.

"I'm sorry Sif, just…the look on your face. I don't think anybody could see that and NOT want to give you a hug! We know it's alright, but the way you looked…"

"Like a crab just pinched your puppy." Nille confirmed.

"Yeah, or like…I dunno, like someone ate your favorite treat you were saving for later!"

In that moment, he was loved. In all moments, he was loved, but it was nice to see it so clearly, and the smile Siffrin let onto his face was genuine. "Thanks…I don't like thinking about this stuff. But, no bottling myself up, not to my family! That's what I promised."

"Promised who, precisely?" Odile's voice was wry, in the way that came when she was trying to not show affection.

"Well I was getting to that! Before everyone decided it was group hug time! Anyway! Odile noticed, and she…told everyone, when we were here. I'm not ashamed to say, I ran off. I was stupid…I thought none of you would care about me if you knew how much I hated myself."

"You're absolutely right, Stardust." Vale finally decided to add their two cents, and everyone's heads snapped towards them, making them glad that looks couldn't kill - they'd be dead four times over, at least! It was Odile who found her voice first.

"Explain?"

"He WAS stupid!"

Vale's laugh cut the tension that their statement made, and Siffrin was the first to join into it, before everyone else allowed themselves to be part of it.

"Right! Right, where was I…Running away. Right. Well, Odile was too smart again." A glance to her showed a smirk that showed she agreed. "I ran and hid in the House…and her letter had gotten there first. And when people showed up expecting me, and bringing me to an appointment? I wasn't going to tell them they had the wrong person. Whoever's appointment it was, I could hide there until you all forgot! And that's how I met my therapist."

The sharp bark of laughter from Odile showed just what she thought of that, but Isabeau was quick to follow, as Nille shook her head in exasperation. "That actually worked?" She said, around a smile, and Vale nodded with mock seriousness. "It would have worked on me. Smart."

Siffrin decided then to start walking and talking, as he explained the rest of it. "Doctor Jinn was…strange. Even for Vaugarde. It/its pronouns, with lightless hair with darkless spots in it, like the stars. I'd have almost thought it was from home, except that everyone I've seen from there had darkless hair…and Doctor Jinn was a housemaiden. Or…I mean, it was working in the house, and it wore a change symbol on a necklace? And one of them for a bonding earring? Anyway, it had its own office set up, and was ready for me and everything. It wasn't until it addressed me by my name that I realized what happened. But Odile, why did you tell it my name was 'Siffrin Nomiddlename Nolastname'?"

"I couldn't begin to imagine." Odile allowed, walking the crowded streets, Isabeau pushing ahead and the others walking in the wake of the broad man like wakesurfers…Siffrin briefly wondered where he'd heard that term, then remembered they were telling a story.

"Well, that's what it called me. Like that, like 'Nomiddlename' and 'Nolastname' were names themselves. It was a great listener, I'll tell you that…It seemed to accept the Wish Craft stuff pretty easily, and didn't blame me for…" a light cough. "Any of it." Siffrin glanced to the side, and when the others followed their glance, they saw Bonnie at a stall, haggling with a zit-faced teen about the price of tomatoes.

"The interesting thing was…Well, when we got there, we were sort of wandering wherever we felt like, just seeing the world? And it turned out that Jinn was traveling anyway, so we wound up joining it…or it joined us, but we just wound up going where it led. It was convenient, and it meant I couldn't get away from it, either. So…we wound up talking a lot. Almost the whole time we were in Wolworth, and even on the roads." Sif took a turn, but kept up his memories. "About the Loops, about what I could and couldn't remember, about…well, everything, really. How I felt about Isa, how I felt about touch, home, why the Universe granted wishes like it did - it really didn't have much to say there, but it was great to just get it out of my system."

Vale was starting to look uneasy as they walked along, and Siffrin knew it was now or never, time to strike and hope everyone else was on board. "It was so useful, in fact, that I felt like visiting again. I sent a letter ahead myself this time, since…well, you didn't have a reason to, Madame. And don't worry, Vale, I told them all about you!"

Siffrin's grin was shameless, and watching the look on Vale's face was worth the entire time, as they realized how close they were to the opened doors of the House. And how Isabeau was blocking them off to the side…Vale couldn't escape that way, maybe…no, Nille was over there. Maybe through the Madame? With that look on her face, no way. That was the Path of Pain.

Vale's shoulders slumped, as Siffrin stepped aside and gave a sweeping bow. "After you, my friend!" Vale muttered oaths under their breath as they marched to the doors, only to find a Housemaiden waiting for them.

"Siffrin and Vale Nomiddlename Nolastname? I'm Housemaiden David…I got your letter, but I'm afraid no one here's ever heard of a 'Doctor Jinn'. Would you like to come in anyway?"

[roosterforme]

Mr. Right Now Part 1 | Hangman x Reader

Summary: When Jake picks your ID up from the floor at the Hard Deck, he has no expectations that he's about to be in for a wild ride. But when he learns that you're looking for Rooster and why you're at the bar in the first place, he starts to feel more possessive than he should. You're young and stubborn and about to get yourself into trouble. Maybe he would prefer it if you got into it with him instead.

Warnings: adult language, mentions of sex and virginity, 18+

Length: 2800 words

Pairing: Jake "Hangman" Seresin x Female Reader

Why is Jake on my masterlist!? Mr. Right Now masterlist

It was a typical Friday night with the typical Hard Deck crowd, and to be honest, it was a bit exhausting. Jake knew if he picked up a random girl to take home, it would all feel pretty pointless the next morning. He should probably just head home now before he ruined some desperate girl's night by kicking her out of his bed in about four hours.

"Jesus, it's not even ten o'clock yet," he muttered to himself as he checked his watch. He'd only had one whiskey sour, but he was ready to leave. The two girls in matching pink dresses had been eyeing him up all night, and they both looked like the type who would cry if he suggested getting them an Uber after hooking up, no matter how clear he made it that he only ever kept things very casual.

He hated when girls got it twisted. Jake loved women. He loved their bodies. He loved making promises to them and then delivering. He loved the little noises they made when he fucked them. But that was all he had time for. He wasn't going to meet anyone that made him think it was worth pursuing more when he spent all of his time at work, at the gym, or at a bar full of tag chasers. 

He signaled for Penny to close out his tab, and even she looked surprised. "You're heading out?" she asked, glancing at his friends who were still playing pool with the girls in pink. 

"Yeah," he said with a sigh as he signed his name on the receipt and collected his credit card. "Thinking about an early night and a long run on the beach first thing in the morning."

"Right," she said, giving him a little smile. "Be safe."

He winked at her and turned just in time to see a young woman drop something as she tried to squeeze through the crowd. "Hey!" he called out as he picked up her driver's license and held it up in his hand. "Leather mini skirt!"

You glanced over your shoulder, your eyes questioning as you turned away from the pool table to face him. He watched you look around to make sure nobody else was wearing a black leather skirt before you faced him all the way. 

"Yes?" you asked a little cautiously, and Jake took in the sight before him. You looked pretty young and a little out of place here. You had paired your little skirt with a black tank top and some Converse sneakers, and even though you didn't look like anyone else, you certainly didn't look bad.

Then he remembered he was holding your license, and he glanced down at his hand only to realize it was literally the worst fake ID he had ever seen. Your name was pretty, if that part was even real. The photo actually was you, but it looked like it had been taken in bad lighting, and according to your date of birth, you were thirty just like he was. One more look at your face told him that was a blatant lie.

"This yours?" he asked, holding it up between his thumb and index finger.

You rushed forward, clearly embarrassed, and you tried to take it from him with a muttered, "Thank you."

But he pulled it out of your reach, and your hand grazed his chest instead. "Nice fake, kiddo. Don't get drunk, okay?"

You shot him a look of vexation, clearly having no idea who he was or that he was one of the best fighter pilots in the country. "I'm not here to get drunk, okay?" When you reached for the plastic card again, Jake held it a little higher just to see what you'd do. "Seriously?"

He glanced up and looked at the first and last name once again before saying them out loud. "Then why are you here? And with the world's worst fake ID to boot."

You eyed the card, still out of reach, and placed your hands on your hips. "Not that it's any of your business, but I'm actually looking for someone named Rooster, if you happen to know who he is?"

Jake lowered his hand slowly, and you snatched your card back and tucked it inside your little purse. "What do you want with ol' Rooster?" he asked, eyeing you a little closer while you were glancing down. You were cute if not a little too innocent looking for him, but your words once again had him engaged.

"That's classified, sailor. Now do you know who he is or not?"

Jake laughed. "Yeah. I know who he is. But I'm not a sailor. I'm an aviator. Got more air to air kills than anyone else on active duty."

You gave him a bland look. "That must be very nice for you, aviator. But I'm on a bit of a mission here, so if you don't mind..." As you turned back toward the pool table, Jake followed behind you. 

"He's the big one with the mustache and hideous shirt."

You stopped, and he bumped into you, steadying himself with his hands briefly on your shoulders. "Oh," you replied. "Wow. I mean, it's not going to be a problem for me, that's for sure. I just hope he's into it."

Still confused, Jake said, "I wouldn't bother him in the middle of a game of pool unless you come bearing the gift of a beer or a nice set of tits."

You spun around and looked him right in the eye. "What exactly is wrong with my tits?"

"Nothin'," he replied, trying not to look at them in your snug top. "Just trying to give you the lay of the land is all." 

When you glanced over your shoulder, he let his eyes dip down below your neck. Certainly nothing wrong there. "Is that his girlfriend?" you asked, turning back to Jake and jerking your thumb in the direction of Phoenix where she stood near Rooster.

"No," he laughed. "But I'd also avoid interrupting her without a beer or your tits ready to go."

"Well, thanks. You've been very informative. One more question," you said, just inches away from Jake in the crowd. "What kind of beer does this Rooster guy like?"

He studied your face closely. He considered himself something of an expert when it came to women, and things weren't completely adding up for him right now. Your words and posture seemed bold and sure, but your eyes were giving you away. There was a nervousness behind them that made him anxious to get answers from you.

"I'll tell you if you finally answer my question."

"What was your question?"

"Why are you here? And what do you want from Rooster?"

"That's two questions," you said with a smirk, leaning a little closer, and Jake just wanted to wrap his arm around you and yank you all the way in. 

"You're a real smartass, kid. And I like that in a person. But just humor me with an answer, and I'll buy you the beer myself."

Your lips parted as your gaze drifted down to Jake's chest. Every time you blinked, your eyelashes brushed your cheeks, and it was taking all of his willpower to keep his hands off you. With a deep breath, you almost met his eyes as you said, "I'm here to get laid."

Jake cocked his head to one side until you did meet his gaze. Your eyes still looked unsure. "Explain."

You just shrugged. "What is there to explain exactly? I'm looking to have sex."

He closed one eye and squinted. He could have sworn he only had one drink, but nothing was making sense right now. "With Rooster?"

"Yes. I'm going to try to get him to take me home."

Jake burst into laughter, and you took a small step away from him. "You're not going to have to try very hard, I can tell you that much for sure." You were actually cute as hell; any guy you had your sights set on would be ready to leave at the mere mention of such activities. 

"That's what I'm hoping for," you muttered before pressing your lips together.

"Wait, wait," Jake asked with his hands held up in front of his chest in surrender. "Why Rooster?"

You looked a little embarrassed now as you switched your bag from one hand to the other. "My friend told me he was good in bed," you muttered.

"I am so confused," Jake replied, pushing his fingers through his hair. By this point, you were starting to look annoyed, and he didn't want to push, but he wanted to know. If you were going to parade around the Hard Deck in a mini skirt with a fake ID, he needed to know that you were okay. "You're young and attractive. Why did you come here of all places to acquire a hot fuck?" And that's when he got the answer that surprised him as you finally snapped. 

"Because, if you must know, I'm a disgrace of a twenty-year-old virgin, and I'm trying to get Rooster to take care of that for me."

"What?" Jake's mind was reeling. He looked from you to the aviator at the pool table and then at your face once more. Then he jerked back a step. A virgin. Huh. He wasn't sure he'd ever seen one this close up before. Not around here, anyway. And, frankly you were hot enough that it did surprise him a bit, even though you were young. 

"You heard me," you muttered, playing with your skirt. "Don't make it into a big thing." You shook your head and glanced toward the bar. "What kind of beer does he like? It looks like he has a bottle of Stella."

You were definitely nervous right now, and Jake didn't like that one bit. "Oh, no. You don't want to hook up with Rooster."

"Yes," you insisted, clutching your little purse now. "I do. Because he won't even have to know about any of it. He'll just fuck me. And then I can get on with my life."

When you took a step toward the bar, Jake reached out for your hand. "He's drunk. You want your first time to be with someone who won't have the mental capacity to make sure you enjoy yourself, too? Make sure you come?"

Instead of pulling your hand free, you stopped and looked at the place where your fingers were connected with his. "I'm not worried about coming. I just want to get this over with."

Gently he pulled you closer until your chest bumped his, and then Jake took your chin carefully between his thumb and index finger. "How old are you, really?"

"I'm twenty."

He stroked your lip with his thumb. It was soft and plump and more than kissable. "Twenty," he echoed. "That's not too old, you know." 

You smirked. "Thanks. But I'm just trying to be sensible here. I don't need to be in love or anything like that. I'd rather have the experience. Rather get it out of the way so it doesn't hurt when I'm with the guy who keeps asking me out. And this way I'll know what to do."

Once more he touched his thumb to your lip and said, "Show me your real ID."

"Why?" you asked, frowning as his hand fell away. "That was my actual name on the one you saw."

"Just humor me, kid," he said firmly, holding out his hand. If you were only eighteen or even younger, he was going to have to ask you to leave or maybe even get Penny involved before you did go home with one of these horny assholes. 

With a huff, you handed it to him. According to the real one, you lived in San Diego. You turned twenty about two months ago. And that really was your name. "When you get a fake, you're supposed to fake the name, too. Everyone knows that. You're in college?"

You snatched it from him and tucked it away with the other one. "Yes, I'm in college."

"Then why the hell are you here right now?" he asked. "You want to lose your virginity so bad tonight? Go stand outside a dorm, and the guys will be lining up for a cute thing like you."

The annoyance and apprehension left your face and were replaced by something different. "Do you really think that's a better alternative than a slightly tipsy, attractive man in his 30s? Because I do not. I'm going for Rooster. But thanks for calling me cute."

Jake was getting so used to your smirk that as soon as you turned away from him again, he missed it. You were heading off toward Bradshaw, and for some wild reason, he was just unwilling to let you do this with him. Rooster wouldn't ask if you were a virgin, and you certainly wouldn't tell him. It might be good for you, and it might not, but Jake thought you should at least be with someone who would try.

"No no no no." He had his hands around your waist, pulling your back against his front. "It's not happening," he muttered next to your ear. "I can call a ride for you, or I can drive you home myself, but that's not going to happen."

You spun around and glared at him. "You said I was cute. I can handle this."

Jake sighed and tipped his face toward the ceiling for a beat as he held you in place with his hands at the middle of your back. "Not with any of those guys," he practically growled through gritted teeth. "I don't know how to make myself any more clear."

You weren't struggling in his grasp, and he knew he should let you go anyway, but he wanted you to agree to letting him get you an Uber. But then you leaned in a little closer with a glint in your eye and asked, "Who's going to do it then? You?"

"Me?" he asked, wide eyes slowly drifting down to your lips. He could feel the leather of your skirt against his pinky as his fingers flexed with the need to keep you close. He could smell your skin and see your pupils growing wider. Your softly parted lips were right there.

You nodded slowly and said, "I mean... I don't even know your name, but I'm sure you could show me the ropes, aviator."

He swallowed hard, eyes never leaving yours. "I'm Jake," he said, his voice lower and needier than he anticipated. "And I need you to tell me what you're going to do if I say no."

Your smirk was back. "Well, Jake the aviator, if you say no, then I'll go ask Rooster and keep my fingers crossed that he's into it."

It wasn't that Jake wasn't keen on the idea of getting his hands all over you, because he was. And that was the problem. He wasn't any better than the rest of the guys. Not really. He didn't deserve to get to have you. But the more he thought about it, the more he was convinced he'd make it good. He wouldn't hurt you or do anything you didn't welcome. And he wouldn't kick you out after a few hours. 

"It's a bad idea," he said, and then your lips were on his. You caught him off guard, and after that one gentle kiss, you started to pull away. Your eyes were wide and innocent, and he couldn't stop himself. He chased you for another taste, and it was the sweetest thing he could ever remember. Your hand crept up to rest on his chest as he drew your tentative lips back to his, pulling you snug against his body. Soft kiss after soft kiss left his nose bumping against yours as he whispered, "I said it's a bad idea."

Then you were kissing him again. Harder this time. Your hand went around the back of his neck, and he took a palm full of leather as he squeezed your ass. Oh shit. You were a nice handful for him. Honestly, he could get hard for you right here, and now you surely felt it as he rolled his hips forward against yours. 

And then you moaned into his mouth as your fingers slipped up into his hair, and Jake knew it was hopeless. You nibbled on his lip before you pulled a few inches away, looked at him with desire filled eyes, and whispered, "I think it might be a good idea."

"God damn it."

------------------------

Is Jake actually any better than the rest of the horny guys? Is this a bad idea or a good idea? The problem is Jake likes stubborn girls who give him a hard time. Thanks @beyondthesefourwalls

PART 2

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[elixrr]

the fall to rock bottom is a long way from here. he sits, contemplating. loving you was hardly a mistake— he loves you, he'll keep loving you, and he'll never regret it. you're the mountain that keeps him from falling back down; you're the steps on a ladder that keep him from tumbling down to the floor.

needless to say, you make him happy.

it was hard for him to realize at first, but when he did, he could never forget. you're a song in his head that he can't get out, but now he doesn't want it to ever stop playing. he stares at your face as you rest in your shared bed. you're beautiful, he thinks. you're in perfect peace. he's in perfect peace, too, all thanks to you. his eyes trail to your lips. it looks like you're smiling. it's subtle—it's quiet, but it's sweet. you're sweet. originally, he would've hated it, but the sugar—your sugar—is far more addicting than he anticipated.

he smiles at your smile. you're still asleep, but you're probably having a nice dream right now. it's early, and he doesn't have a real reason to be awake right now. the only thing keeping him up is how perfect you look with the dim lamp on. actually, even if the lights were off, you'd still be gorgeous.

he looks at the clock. it's 04:27. he looks over at the window, and through the subtly translucent fabric of the curtains, he sees the faint glimmer of the moonlight. he should probably be asleep, but he doesn't really care much about that. he doesn't have anything to do today, and he'd probably wake up thirty minutes after falling asleep, and then he'd do the exact same thing that he's doing right now: admiring you.

he sighs, reaching over to the nightstand and turning the lamp off. the moonlight passes through the curtain and rests on the carpet by the windows. it reflects from the carpet and onto him, illuminating his skin.

you secretly open your eyes. he's beautiful.

he sits and stares at his blanket-covered legs. he glances over at you, not realizing that you're awake. he smiles a little more. the fall to rock bottom is so far now, and he finally accepts the fact that he's never going back down. not alone. not without you reaching out for him.

he glances at you and admits to himself,

“I'm so glad that we're here. together.”

he shifts downwards and rests his head on the pillow, facing you with a yawn. his entire body sinks into comfort, and he gazes back at you. your eyes are finally open wide, and you're smiling really hard at him.

“I know, right? ”

he screams at you, jolting up, and he falls off of the bed.

ps: he makes sure that you're asleep every time he does this now (he stopped doing the monologuing for like a good month afterwards)

[withonly-sweetheart]

thinkin abt di leon when you're not feeling too great about yourself. nsfw mentions ahead, a lil longer than expected but i had a lot of thoughts ok...

<><><><>

of course it was just on a whim when he recommended that you join the force. he hadn't expected you to take the offer to heart; the whole thing was just a thin ruse to see you in the uniform.

so when he sees the other car slotted into place right next to his, the one that had been parked safely in the garage when he'd left early to get some paperwork done, he's confused. at first he assumes you've come to visit him, get a scope of how things at the station work.

but it's never that simple with you, is it? he doesn't think too hard about it and turns back to his colleagues, listening to one of them outline their devious plan to screw up some poor rookie on their first day. they rub their hands and it's all leon can do not to roll his eyes.

he's all for treating people with respect, but that flies out of the window when he's not only chosen to be a training officer, something he'd not expected for the next few years. and the sergeant waits.

for what? he doesn't know under there's snickering coming from behind him, so without uncrossing his arms and molding his face into a stern expression, he tosses a cursory glance over his shoulder.

immediately, he has to double-take, eyes wide as he scans you, covered nearly head to toe in some greasy residue he doesn't recognize.

"and there," sergeant mutters, "is kennedy's new boot. dismissed."

your husband doesn't miss the longing in your eyes as you hand over the shiny badge pinned under your name while you explain what had happened.

"and who told you that the captain's room was in the parking lots?" he deadpans, thumbs tucked into the belt of his uniform as he leans against the wall, waiting for you to appear out of the bathroom.

"ugh, i don't even know! it was some guy, but i can't remember his face... blond hair... nice face."

"sounds like you're describing me, sweetheart," he teases when you finally leave the room, dressed in a new uniform. "now, we're running thirty minutes late. all the other officers have already left."

you stare up at him, as if you expect him to elaborate. he clicks his tongue, somewhere in his throat, and leans forward, just for you to hear his words.

"look, i'm not gonna play nice just because we're married. i take my job seriously, and i don't want to hear that you've gotten any pretty privileges, hm?"

your eyes never once waver. "yes sir."

he's patient enough, you think, somewhat like the man you've been waking up to for three straight years, and he teaches you how to set up shop quickly. you're cruising down the street in no time.

in the back of his mind, he's thinking about whether or not he'd be this harsh with any other boot. the last thing he needs is for his peers to think he's going soft, just because he knows his rookie.

but he's happy. he's doing the job he loves the most, with the person he loves more than anything in the entire world. but with that love comes unforeseen danger.

danger that makes itself apparent at your first shootout. you call in shots fired quickly, just like you've been taught, and he thinks you can hold your ground. you're a grown woman, you can handle this.

boy, was he wrong. the moment you get close enough to actually see the gunfight, you tense. freeze up, and even his touch isn't enough to get you to melt, to snap you out of it.

he has to drag you from the scene as soon as backup arrives, and only when he can truly assure you that the suspects have been apprehended do you relax. you're shivering, shaking all over, trauma flashing in your eyes.

he takes you back home, somewhere you know you're safe. and he wants answers. serious ones. because truthfully?

he doesn't know why you're acting like this. he remembers his academy days, where they trained with real guns, the real thing. so why had you stopped for that moment in time, suspended against your own will.

you finally tell him how your father died. how the community you lived in was never safe, especially for a little girl. how your father always kept you attached to his hip, how much you hated it.

the grief you felt when he died, blood staining your little fingers, how you had tried to keep him alive, but the bullet had pushed its way to his heart in his struggles to shield you from danger. even while dying, his thoughts were with you.

and you've come to appreciate it, of course you have. without your father, you wouldn't be here. but whenever you hear the sounds of those guns, the real deal, not in the sterile and controlled, predictable environment of the academy, it's inevitable.

you know that. and leon does too, now. so he asks you why you even bothered when you knew he just meant it as a joke, why you couldn't have just pursued a safer career in finance, with people to watch over you. with only him to watch over you.

"i'm sick of being treated like a child! you showed me that i can hold my own, that i can be my own person! that i don't need protection! so... s-so i thought that i could do this!"

not an ounce of belief in those eyes. not even a bit.

"but you're scared of guns," he says softly, and it only serves to irritate you even more. "the force... it's really not something you can be unsure about. you have to give it your all... even if you can't."

you recoil from his touch. "what's that supposed to mean?"

he heaves a sigh. "maybe... you should resign? while you're still in on your probational internship, or whatever the right word is. it's better to do it before you reach a year of work-"

"you... think i can't do it?" your eyes glaze with tears. "you think i can't handle myself? now you don't even trust me?"

"sweetie, no-" he reaches for you, but you jerk away.

"jesus, i did all this just to prove to you that i can handle myself! all this just to keep myself to your standards, to prove to myself i still fucking deserve you!"

he has to stagger back for a moment, watch you closely, processing what you've just slammed into his face.

"me? you joined the force for me?"

you look away, bashful. "uh... yes?"

"goddamn it." not the response you were expecting. "when have i ever told you that you haven't, since the moment we met, met my standards?"

"it's not that hard to see." you scoff.

"oh, sorry, am i missing something?" he raises an eyebrow. "because i can't recall a single time when i've ever told you anything less than what you are."

"but look at you!" you sputter. "you-you're you! you do all this good for the city, fucking looking like a model when you do it, and me? the useless wife! all she does is wait for her perfect husband to come home!"

leon's anxious now. in three years of being married, even longer since he's known you, there hasn't been a single moment when he's doubted your abilities, and where you've ever shouted at him for doing so. he's only looking out for you, he had hoped you'd see that through his words.

"look, i'm sorry, okay?" he runs a hand through his already tousled hair, and you watch his fingers tremble. "i-i messed up, alright? more times than i can count, but i can't stand here and watch you put yourself in danger just to impress me."

"because it'll never work."

"god, no." he snakes a hand around your arm, and this time, you let him. you don't pull away. "because you're never done anything but."

"me?" you scoff, again. the sound becomes something to play on repeat, scorning yourself. "impress you, yeah right."

"how can i show you?" he asks, suddenly. you blink up at him.

"what?"

"tell me how i can show you how much you mean to me," he repeats, this time, more insistent, peppering the side of your face with soft, cautious kisses. "show you that if anything, i'm the one that doesn't deserve you."

you hear yourself make a sound, half in protest, half in compliance, already melting under him. anything to get out of this conversation. but he doesn't relent so easily.

"i need you to use your words, baby. tell me what'll make you feel good. better about yourself," he mumbles into the crook of your neck.

"show me how much you love me," you whisper into the shell of his ear. you feel him grin broadly against your skin, nipping the area with his teeth, showing restraint.

but as soon as you press back into him, luckily enough, he doesn't wait. he's good at apologizing, you think hazily, when your clothes are scattered across the room and you've ended up tangled together on the couch, lounging on his shoulder.

it still doesn't sit right with you, even when he cups your face and fixes you with a look of genuine concern.

"still don't believe me?" he whispers, fingers trailing downwards for what feels like the fiftieth time that night.

"no," you muse, then lower your voice to a whisper. "i really thought you were lowering your standards."

leon presses a chaste kiss to your forehead, tugging you close. and he uses his words.

"baby, you are my standards."

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[lieslab]

Are you with me?

꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎ ꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎

Pairing: Chan X gn reader

Summary: After struggling with being underweight, you binge out of desperation to gain weight and that's when your boyfriend finds you.

Genre: Comfort/hurt

Word Count: 1.6K

Trigger warning: Insecurities, implied underweight reader, mentions of weight, weight loss, binging, calorie counting, and a mention of nausea.

A/N: I believe that this is the final request I had. I'm so sorry for making you wait forever, life has been hard and this topic is a bit too real and relatable. Please know that your weight doesn't define you. Whether you are thirty pounds, three hundred, or three-thousand, you still deserve love and respect. You are allowed to love yourself no matter what you look like.

Society can be really fucking shitty and harsh. Don't let it tear you down. This is your life and maybe we do only get one. Eat the slice of cake on your birthday. Indulge in your favorite coffee. Weight can fluctuate and be lost or gained, but good memories last a life time. Don't let yourself miss out on experiencing them because you think your weight and the way you look is holding you back. It's easier said than done, but it's entirely possible <3

_ _ _

The brain is a chamber and each thought is a bullet. A complex system full of neural pathways that define who you are. The brain controls your entire being. Your personality, your motor skills, the cognitive ability to retain information, and pull it out later. 

Beneath the skin, we’re all just bones. Chipped and withered skeletons that will one day disintegrate into nothingness. They say life is a blessing. We should cherish it to the best of our ability. We only get one life, supposedly. If that’s true, then why is it so hard? 

Bodies. Bodies. Bodies. Bodies. Thick and thin. Taut skin stretched over hollowed cheekbones. Round cheeks full of facial fat. Sharpened and softened jawlines. No matter what yours looks like, you only get one. 

A random genetic lottery thanks to your parents. You might hate yourself or you might love yourself. No matter which one wins, there always seems to be hiccups. Those times of turmoil where you just can’t seem to go on another day because you are trapped inside your body. The machine that causes you to breathe, it feels like a burden to some. 

You cannot control how the outside world perceives you. You cannot make everyone like yourself. Chasing idolization and devotion is a great bomb of self-destruction. Feelings can be fatal and if you’re not careful, they will be. Drowning in insecurities and letting them weigh you down while the days pass you by isn’t a good way to live. 

Yet…you just couldn’t help it. The way you looked was just overwhelming. You were a mess. Physically, nobody could see it. Mentally, you were overwhelmed and falling apart. Unraveling at the seams and spiraling out of control. 

The whispers of your insecurities had turned into a sympathy of screams. Scorching hot tears streamed down your cheeks in the kitchen. Your weight has always been an issue. People don’t second guess the things they say at times. 

“Gosh, you’re so skinny, you need to put some meat on your bones.” 

“Is that really all you’re going to eat?” 

“One blow from the wind and you’re going to fall over at this rate.” 

Some people are blessed with rapid metabolisms and some are cursed. No matter how much you consume, your body works it off. Over and over and over and over and over. Just when you think you’ve gained a pound, the scale says you’re down another half of a pound. 

What does your boyfriend think about it? He always says you look wonderful, but does he really mean it? What if he’s lying? Members of your family have stated that you look like you’re on your deathbed. 

What if you’re not good enough? What if this body isn’t great? What if nothing changes? What if you’re cursed to be this weight forever? What if? What if? What if? 

It was a spur of the moment decision. Ever since you lost another two pounds within the last week, something inside of you seemed to snap. That’s when you found yourself tearing through kitchen cabinets. 

Thoughts were swirling as you ripped open the package of oreo cookies you bought. It was one and then it was two and you blinked and half the row was gone. Crumbs caked your lips and all you could do was wipe them along your sweater sleeve. 

As much as you were spiraling, you were desperate to gain control. Surely, if you ate enough, you could put on a pound or two, right? Right? You had to. 

Crinkling filled the air as you opened a bag of brand new chips. The kind that were too salty and you knew they weren’t healthy, but you did it anyway. Life felt better with the occasional unhealthy snack. People weren’t perfect and neither were you. 

Staring at the back of the calorie contents, you lost track of how many chips you placed in your mouth. People didn’t seem to binge on the fruits and vegetables. 

It was the sugary sweetened foods that stuck to your sides. The salty chips and pretzels. The kind of food that was full of empty calories, but you didn’t care. You were desperate to gain a pound. 

People don’t understand what it’s like until they’re there. You will never understand what it’s like to be skin and bones until it’s all that you are. You will never understand what it’s like to carry around a pudgy stomach that bounces with every step until you are there. 

Weight fluctuates and bodies are different. We only get one, but it’s so easy to abuse it. To never eat enough. To over consume and eat too much. You didn’t think you were doing anything wrong with your body. 

You ate your food and that was that. It wasn’t a ton of food, but it wasn’t like you were starving yourself either. Yet, at the exact same time, your body seemed to stay thin. 

The more you spiraled, the more you lost track. You didn’t remember what you put in your mouth. Everything tasted like defeat, even the oreos. 

It kept going and going. Your stomach began to ache with the amount of food you consumed, but you couldn’t stop. It was overwhelming and all too much. Everything hurt and you just wanted to break down and sob. 

When you caught the reflection of yourself in the microwave, that’s exactly what you did. The lump in your throat pulsed and the tears welled up again. The box of crackers in your hand dropped to the floor and you grabbed the counter top for support. 

Your body caved and slumped over the cold marble top. With a forehead pressed into the marble, you cried. You cried because it wasn’t fair. You cried because you hated what you were doing to your body. You cried because you were worried about how you were perceived. You cried because everything was overwhelming and too much. You hated yourself and it hurt like hell. 

Piercing sobs racked the empty kitchen and bounced off the walls. They reverberated back to you and you were left alone with the heart-shattering reality of what you were doing. You ate so much, you were nauseous. 

Your stomach twisted and churned. A fresh layer of saliva coated your tongue. The queasy feeling caused you to squeeze your eyes shut. All you could do was just cry harder. 

Your sobs were the first thing that Chan heard when he unlocked and pushed the door open. Fear struck his heart and he ripped off his bag. Not caring that his laptop was in it, it dropped to the ground with a heavy thud. 

He rushed into the kitchen and found you slung over the counter. “Baby? Baby?” His hand went to your back and he tugged you into his arms. 

The warmth of his chest made you cry harder. You hated that this was who you were. Why couldn’t you have another body? Why did it have to be this way? Why couldn’t it just be different? 

“What’s wrong?” His eyes scanned your face. “Why are you crying? What’s going on? Are you hurt?” His hands gently cupped your cheeks. He positioned your face up towards him. “Please talk to me.” 

“I-I hate myself,” you uttered hoarsely with a hiccup. “I’m not good enough. I can’t gain weight and I’m a walking skeleton and I-” 

His eyebrows pinched together in confusion. “Sweetheart, what are you talking about?”  A reassuring thumb ran over your cheek. 

“My body isn’t good enough. Not for you. Not for me. Not for anyone.” 

Knowing that you thought so negatively of yourself, it stung. It shoved an arrow through his heart and he shook his head. “Listen to me, you’re perfect the way you are. Just because y-” 

“You don’t get it!” You snapped angrily. Your hands shoved at his shoulders and he stumbled back in shock. “You don’t get it because you’re perfect! You can gain weight and you can lose weight. You can do whatever you want and I-” Your voice cracked and cut off. 

He didn’t utter a word. He knew you were struggling, so he just opened his arms. With a quivering bottom lip, you let yourself fall forward. Sturdy arms grabbed you and he pressed your head against his chest. 

The steady lull of his heart made you burst into tears. A weak and hoarse apology fell from your lips. All he could do was quietly shush you as he rubbed your back. 

“I know that it’s hard. I know what it’s like to struggle with your self image. Maybe I don’t know exactly what it is, but I’m right here and I love you. Please don’t push me away just because you’re struggling. I might not understand, but we can figure it out together. I’m not going anywhere and you know that.” 

That last reassurance was the final straw. Your knees buckled and your fingers dug into his cotton shirt. Down the both of you went and you landed on his lap. 

He pressed you against him as tight as he dared. With your eyes shut and your forehead pressed into the nape of his neck. He soothed you softly while rubbing your back. 

Even if he didn’t understand exactly, he’d wait here for as long as he had to. He’d be here until the kitchen was pulled into darkness and the sun went down outside. He didn’t care if he had to be here all night. 

He’d do whatever it took to remind you that no matter how you saw yourself, you weren’t entirely alone.

| ♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡ | ♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡ | ♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡ |

Taglist: @lina-linny @straykidsstanforeverandever @seungnishi @stellasays45

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[mononijikayu]

pasilyo — fushiguro toji.

"Yeah…." he admits, opening his eyes to meet yours. "Just… watching you. Thinking." "Thinking about what?" you ask, your curiosity piqued by the softness in his tone. Toji hesitates for a moment, searching for the right words. "About how lucky I am," he finally says. "How lucky I am to have you, to have this life. I never thought I’d be here, with you, like this. It still feels… unreal, sometimes." Your smile widens, and you shift closer, your hand moving to rest against his chest, feeling the steady beat of his heart. "It’s real, Toji. I’m here, and so are you."

GENRE: Alternate Universe - Canon Convergence;

WARNING/s: Fluff, Romance, Husband and Wife, Parenthood, Husband! Toji, Mamaguro! Reader, Comfort, Fix-It, Domesticity, Family Life, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Light-Hearted, Slice of Life, Mention of Familial Abuse, Mention of Neglect, Megumi is Such A Cute Baby, Toji Is The BEST Wife Guy;

WORDS: 5.4k words.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: hi guys, i'm sorry i've been out and about. my other brother got sick and i've been the one doing much of the his chores and taking care of our younger brother!!! i'm about to write 'thirty-nine' and will be doing another poll for the upcoming works!!! thank you for your understanding and love!!! also @v4ntaaa-w4ves has been waiting for this, so i hope i deliver!!! many thanks <3

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━━━━━━━━▲━━━━━━━━

AS A BOY, ZENIN TOJI THINKS HE WAS SACRED TO SLEEP. He remembered how it was frightening to even bat his eyes closed as a boy. His father had a harsh attitude about remaining alert at all times. Jinichi was father’s favorite for that reason, he thinks. Toji never slept a wink on those rough days.

Otherwise, he wouldn’t have time to dodge the incoming attack. Toji learned from an early age that he had to learn fast, that he had to grow up quickly, and be the strongest. Or he wouldn’t be able to live. In those days, he thinks that he really wasn’t deserving to be alive. And he hated it. He hated it every single day.

Those memories are etched deeply into his mind, a stark reminder of the relentless training and constant vigilance. The Zenin way. He hated the Zenin way. And he perhaps always will for the rest of his life. He feels at times that he is still that boy again.

The fear of closing his eyes, even for a moment, was ingrained in him, the bruises and scars serving as his father's unforgiving lessons. Jinichi, with his ability to stay awake and alert, became the favored son quite quickly, leaving Toji to struggle on his own. To be alone in that pit, alone with those cursed spirits as he cried. 

Toji's childhood was a relentless cycle of pain and survival, where sleep was a luxury he couldn’t afford. Where youth was thrown for the greed of power, of strength. He learned to anticipate danger, to read the slightest shift in his surroundings, to become a weapon honed by necessity.

It was a brutal existence, but it shaped him into the man he is today. Toji sighs, shaking his head. Those days were over, they were long gone. He doesn’t have to go back. He doesn’t have to suffer anymore. He looks at you and closes his eyes. He’s here, with you. That’s all that matters.

Now, lying beside you, those old habits are hard to break. After all this time, he still doesn’t sleep well. There were a lot of things that have changed about Fushiguro Toji. But the years of conditioning still grip him tightly, making it difficult to find peace even in the safety of your embrace completely. Yet, as he watches you sleep, Fushiguro Toji feels a small measure of that peace seep into his heart. 

Toji thinks that he needs to pinch his arm every morning he wakes up. He doesn't think this is real, living his life with you. It's hard to believe that it's been a few years since you've changed his life, for all the better. He turns to you, looking at your still sleeping form. He sighs, his eyes softening as he looks at you. Every inch of you is a treasure to Toji.

His rough exterior belies the tenderness he feels as he gently brushes a strand of hair from your face. The memories of his past, filled with turmoil and struggle, seem to fade away in the presence of your serene beauty. Toji feels an overwhelming sense of gratitude for the love and peace you've brought into his life.

He leans in, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead, careful not to wake you. As he pulls back, he takes a moment to marvel at how perfectly you fit into his arms, how natural it feels to have you by his side. It's a stark contrast to the solitary life he once led, filled with danger and loneliness.

Toji's hand finds yours beneath the covers, and he intertwines your fingers, feeling the warmth and reassurance of your touch. He knows he's not dreaming, that this is his reality now, a reality he never thought he deserved but one he cherishes deeply. 

Toji thinks that his hands are soaking wet, or maybe he’s just feeling it, like a river overflowing with summer rain’s tears falling from the sky. He’s overwhelmed with relief that he could be with you, that he lives a life like this, free from grief and pain. It’s always been like this since you both met.

Toji can pinpoint that exact moment when he first looked at you, the spark that burst inside him. It was your smile—that’s the thing that made him feel alive. Even now, as you sleep, you smile so beautifully. When you smile, Toji thinks the world becomes a better place. It becomes a wonder. And he lives it, every day. And he loves it.

He brushes the hair from your face and takes a languid sigh. If he were to have the words to speak, he thinks they wouldn’t be enough. The words existing wouldn’t be enough to capture the wonder he’s found in you. How his body aches to never be apart from you. How in every breath he takes, he cannot help but look at you. Even when he’s at work, he ends up thinking of you. Of wanting you. Of longing to be with you.

And now that you’ve given him the world, the blessings of life in the form of your dearest son, Megumi, he thinks that everything he feels for you has multiplied tenfold. He never imagined he could feel this way, so completely and utterly devoted. But here he is, holding onto this life, this love, with everything he has.

Toji’s chest tightens with emotion as he gazes at you, feeling a mixture of awe and contentment. You’ve transformed his world, filling it with light and joy he never thought possible. And now, with Megumi, that love has only deepened, rooting itself firmly in his heart.

He knows that no words could ever fully express what you mean to him, but every day, he’ll show you. He’ll show you in the way he holds you, the way he cherishes each moment, the way he dreams of growing old by your side. Because with you, Toji has found everything he never knew he needed, and he’ll spend the rest of his life loving you as fiercely as he does now.

Toji's thoughts are interrupted by the subtle shift in your breathing as you slowly wake. He watches as your eyelids flutter open, and a sleepy smile spreads across your face when you see him. That smile—the one that always melts his heart, no matter how many times he's seen it.

"Good morning," you murmur, your voice soft and warm, like the first light of dawn.

Toji leans in, his hand still gently brushing your hair back. "Good morning to you." he replies, his voice low and tender. He can’t help the small smile that tugs at the corner of his mouth as he looks at you, his heart swelling with emotion.

You reach up, your fingers lightly tracing the line of his jaw, and he leans into your touch, closing his eyes for a moment as if savoring the contact. "You’ve been awake for a while." you say, a knowing look in your eyes.

"Yeah…." he admits, opening his eyes to meet yours. "Just… watching you. Thinking."

"Thinking about what?" you ask, your curiosity piqued by the softness in his tone.

Toji hesitates for a moment, searching for the right words. "About how lucky I am, y'know?" he finally says. "How lucky I am to have you, to have this life. I never thought I’d be here, with you, like this. It still feels… unreal, sometimes."

Your smile widens, and you shift closer, your hand moving to rest against his chest, feeling the steady beat of his heart. "It’s real, Toji. I’m here, and so are you."

"I know." he murmurs, his hand coming to rest over yours, holding it against his chest. "But sometimes… It feels like a dream. A good dream. One I don’t ever want to wake up from."

"You won’t," you assure him, your voice filled with gentle certainty. "We’re in this together, for the long haul. You, me, and Megumi. We’re a family."

The mention of Megumi brings a softness to Toji’s expression that only you’ve ever seen. "Our family," he echoes, the words filling him with a deep sense of fulfillment.

You lean in, pressing a soft kiss to his lips, and Toji melts into it, his hand moving to cradle the back of your head as he deepens the kiss just slightly, savoring the moment. When you pull back, your eyes meet his, and there’s a warmth there that makes his chest tighten with emotion.

"I love you, babe." you whisper, your voice carrying all the sincerity in the world.

"I love you too." Toji replies, his voice thick with emotion. "More than I can ever say."

You smile again, and Toji feels that familiar spark ignite in his chest, the one that started it all. He knows, deep down, that with you, he’s found something he never thought he deserved. And he’ll do everything in his power to keep it, to keep you, for as long as he lives.

As the morning light filters into the room, bathing you both in its gentle glow, Toji feels a profound sense of peace settle over him. This is his life now, and he wouldn’t trade it for anything.

━━━━━━━━▲━━━━━━━━

TOJI THINKS THAT HE REMEMBERS YOUR WEDDING BEST. You walked slowly towards Toji then. It was a simple wedding, just you, him, and a handful of close friends. The sun was warm against your skin, the air filled with the scent of fresh flowers and the soft hum of nature. Toji stood at the altar, looking almost out of place in his crisp suit, his hands clenched at his sides as he watched you approach. 

He had wanted to wait. If he was being honest, you deserved the best wedding. He had spent nights thinking about it—how you deserved the most beautiful flowers, the most stunning dress, the most exquisite ring. The thought of giving you anything less than perfection had gnawed at him.

But you didn’t care. The grand ceremony, the extravagance—none of it mattered to you. When he voiced his concerns, you had smiled, taking his hand in yours, your voice soft but firm.

“It’s okay, Toji. I don’t need all of that. I don’t want all of that. I just want you. Only you.”

He had looked at you then, his heart clenching at the sincerity in your eyes. “Are you sure?” he had asked, his voice rough with uncertainty. “You deserve so much more.”

But you only shook your head, your smile unwavering. “This is more than enough for me. You’re more than enough for me.”

And so, he waited by the priest, his heart pounding in his chest as he watched you walk down the long aisle towards the church altar—and towards him. You wore a simple sundress, the fabric flowing around you as you moved, your hair loose and catching the sunlight. To him, you looked more beautiful than any bride he had ever seen.

As you neared, he could see the happiness radiating from your face, your eyes bright with joy. The closer you got, the more he could feel the tension easing from his shoulders, replaced by a warmth that spread through his chest.

When you finally reached him, your hand slipping into his, you looked up at him with a grin that made his heart stutter. “I’m here!” you said softly, your voice filled with a quiet assurance.

He could hardly speak, his throat tight with emotion. “You’re really sure about this?” he asked one last time, his voice a hushed whisper meant just for you. “About…me?”

You laughed then, a light, melodious sound that seemed to echo through the quiet church. “Toji, I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life. I love you. That’s all that matters.”

And with those words, everything fell into place. The doubts, the worries—they melted away in the warmth of your gaze. Toji felt something deep within him shift, a spark of realization that this was real, that you wanted him—just as he was.

The ceremony passed in a blur, your vows exchanged with soft smiles and whispered promises. When the priest finally pronounced you husband and wife, Toji didn’t wait for permission. He pulled you into his arms, holding you close, his heart pounding against his chest. You giggled, your arms wrapping around his neck as he buried his face in your hair, breathing in the scent of you.

“I’m never letting you go, hm?” he murmured, his voice thick with emotion. The weight of his words hung in the air, a promise and a vow all in one.

“I’m not going anywhere.” you replied softly, pulling back just enough to look into his eyes. “I’m yours, Toji. Always.”

And years later, as he watches you sitting there, holding your son Megumi in your arms, he knows he was right not to let go. You and Megumi—the two of you are the epitome of all the blessings he has in his life. The only blessings he’ll ever want.

He sees you notice him from across the room, your face lighting up with that same smile that first drew him to you. “Good morning to you, babe.” you greet him, your voice warm and welcoming.

You lean down, gently encouraging Megumi, who’s nestled in your arms, to greet his father. “Say good morning to Daddy, Megumi.”

Megumi, still sleepy-eyed, blinks up at him before mumbling little incoherent noises back at his father. Each and every sound ofhis small voice making Toji’s heart swell with affection. He nuszzles closer to you, your little one, which causes you to giggle.

Toji crosses the room, unable to keep the smile from his face as he kneels beside you. “Good morning, sleepy.” he replies, his voice soft as he cups your face, leaning in to kiss your forehead. Then he turns to Megumi, pressing a gentle kiss to his tiny head. “Good morning, little man.”

He wraps an arm around you both, pulling you into his embrace. In this moment, surrounded by the love of his family, Fushiguro Toji feels a deep, contented peace settle over him. He doesn’t need anything else—this is his life now, and he wouldn’t trade it for the world.

Toji sits down beside you, his arms still wrapped around you and Megumi, feeling the warmth of his little family pressed close. Megumi squirms slightly in your lap, his tiny hands reaching out for his father, and Toji can’t help but smile as he gently takes the boy into his own arms.

"Hey there, kiddo." Toji murmurs, his voice soft as he cradles Megumi against his chest. The boy blinks up at him with wide eyes, a mixture of curiosity and contentment in his gaze. Toji can see so much of you in those eyes, and it fills him with a quiet joy he never thought he’d experience.

Megumi babbles something unintelligible, his small hands reaching up to pat at Toji’s face. Toji chuckles, feeling the tiny fingers explore the rough stubble on his jaw. "What’s this, huh? Not smooth enough for you?" he teases, his voice filled with warmth.

You laugh softly beside him, watching the two of them with a smile that makes Toji’s heart skip a beat. "He’s just curious, I think." you say, leaning your head against Toji’s shoulder as you watch Megumi continue his investigation of his father’s face.

Toji nods, his eyes never leaving Megumi’s. "Well, he’s got plenty of time to figure out all the mysteries of the world." he replies, his voice low and tender. He shifts slightly, adjusting Megumi in his arms so that he can sit more comfortably. "And I’ll be here to help him every step of the way."

Megumi, as if sensing the love and security in his father’s voice, gives a soft coo and reaches for Toji’s nose, squeezing it with a surprising amount of determination. Toji snorts, the unexpected sensation making him laugh, and Megumi’s face lights up with delight at the sound.

"Oh, so that’s funny, huh?" Toji says, his tone playful as he nuzzles his nose against Megumi’s cheek, earning another giggle from the boy. "You think you’re pretty strong, don’t you?"

Megumi responds with more babbling, his tiny hands patting at Toji’s face and chest with a mix of curiosity and affection. Toji’s heart swells as he feels those little hands, so small and fragile, reaching out to him with such trust. Each touch, each small gesture from his son, feels like a precious gift—something Toji never thought he’d be lucky enough to experience.

As he looks down at Megumi, his heart bursts with an overwhelming surge of love and pride. He sees you in every part of his son, from the brightness of his eyes to the way his lips curl into a dimpled smile. Those eyes, so full of wonder, are the exact tenderness as yours, carrying the same spark that captivated Toji the first time he met you. It’s like seeing a piece of you, the most beautiful piece, in the small boy resting in his arms.

Megumi’s laughter, a sweet, melodic sound, is a mirror of your own. It echoes in Toji’s ears, a reminder of the joy you bring into his life every day. When his son pouts—those soft, pink lips curling down on his chubby cheeks in a way that’s both endearing and familiar—Toji can’t help but think of you. The way you’d pout when you didn’t get your way, or when you were deep in thought—it’s all there in Megumi.

Everything about his son that makes his heart ache with love is because of you. It’s in the way Megumi tilts his head with curiosity, just like you do when you’re pondering something. It’s in the way he smiles, a smile that lights up the room and makes everything feel right in the world. That smile, that pure, innocent smile, is a reflection of the love and light you’ve brought into Toji’s life.

He traces a gentle finger along Megumi’s tiny nose, marveling at how perfect it is, how perfect he truly is. And it’s all because of you, his beloved wife. Toji never imagined he could feel this way—that he could look at someone so small and see the entire world reflected back at him. But here it is, in the form of this little boy who’s as much a part of you as he is of him.

Toji’s voice catches in his throat as he whispers, almost to himself, "He’s got your everything." There’s a reverence in his tone, a deep gratitude that he can hardly put into words. "Your smile, babe. Your laugh… even the way he pouts.Megumi…. he’s all you, babe."

You watch him with a soft, loving gaze, seeing the way he’s looking at Megumi as if he’s the most precious thing in the world. "He’s got you too, you know?" you say gently, your hand resting on Toji’s arm. "The strength in his grip, the determination in his eyes… That’s all you, Toji. You are everything that is him too."

But Toji shakes his head slightly, his eyes never leaving his son’s face. "He’s you, babe." he insists, his voice filled with awe. "Everything beautiful about him… it’s because of you."

There’s a moment of silence as you both take in the weight of those words, the depth of love that flows between the three of you. You smiled at him, your eyes bright with summer love. Your eyes have never been one to view him any other way. Just one look and Toji thinks that he’s fallen in love again.

One more look and he’ll see that you’ve fallen for him again too. Toji leans down, pressing a soft kiss to Megumi’s forehead, then another to your temple. He pulls you both closer, holding on as if he never wants to let go.

In this quiet, tender moment, Toji realizes that this is what he’s been searching for all his life. This love, this family—it’s all he’s ever needed. And as he holds you both in his arms, he knows that he’s the luckiest man in the world.

"You’ve got your daddy wrapped around your little finger, don’t you, Megumi?" you tease, watching the two of them with a warmth in your eyes that makes Toji’s chest tighten with love.

"Yeah, well…." Toji says, glancing at you with a soft smile, "Our ’gumi got that from you." He leans in, pressing a kiss to your temple before turning his attention back to Megumi. "You’re both pretty good at that."

Megumi, seemingly satisfied with his exploration of Toji’s face. Toji blinks as your son snuggles closer to his father’s chest, his tiny body relaxing into the safety of Toji’s embrace. Toji shifts slightly, leaning back against the couch with Megumi resting comfortably against him. He glances at you, his eyes filled with a tenderness that speaks volumes.

"Thank you, babe." Toji says softly, his voice barely above a whisper. "For giving me this. For giving me him."

You reach out, placing your hand over Toji’s on Megumi’s back, your fingers lacing together. "I didn’t give you anything you didn’t deserve, hm?" you reply just as softly, your voice filled with love. "This is our life. Our family. And you always, always, will deserve it."

Toji gazes at you for a long moment, his heart so full it feels like it might burst. "I love you," he says, the words coming out as a gentle sigh. "Both of you."

"We love you too, Toji." you reply, leaning in to press a kiss to his lips, a soft and lingering touch that makes Toji’s heart soar. “Always.”

Megumi, still nestled against his father, gives a contented yawn, his small body growing heavy with the onset of sleep. Your little treasure always seems to enjoy sleeping. But Toji understands. He’s a boisterous baby. It’s hard to exist at times, when you’re learning much about life as you go. Toji glances down at his son, a soft smile playing at his lips as he watches the boy drift off, safe and secure in his arms.

"You’re already such a great dad, you know that?" you whisper, your voice filled with certainty as you watch Toji with Megumi.

Toji nods, his gaze never leaving his son’s peaceful face. "I’m just doing my best, always." he replies, his voice thick with emotion. "For him. For both of you."

As the morning light filters into the room, bathing the three of you in its gentle glow, Toji feels a deep sense of contentment settle over him. This is everything he’s ever wanted—this simple, beautiful life with you and Megumi. And he knows, without a doubt, that he will cherish every moment of it for as long as he lives.

━━━━━━━━▲━━━━━━━━

TOJI HAS NEVER BEEN A RELIGIOUS PERSON. But he thinks that if he has something to thank the heavens for — it's you and Megumi. Because Toji thinks that being with you will always be incomparable. No one has ever been able to make him feel at peace with himself the way you do, like your son could do. The quiet moments you shared together, it was everything to him. 

Even just a day out in the park, eating out at restaurants on your days off, or simply sitting on a bench at the nearby playground watching Megumi play—are his greatest treasures. They are the moments when the world feels still, when everything seems to align perfectly, and he’s reminded that this is what he’s been searching for all his life.

At times, being with you makes Toji feel like nothing but good could exist in the world. And he’s happy about that. If he could choose, he would do everything and everything to make sure that all his memories were the ones you had built for him. 

Toji holds onto these moments, savoring each one as if it were the last. He always prays that it will stay this way for the rest of your lives. That you’ll continue to find joy in the simple things, in each other’s presence, in the quiet, shared spaces of your life together. He carries that little hope with him every day, tucked away like a precious secret.

Every morning, he wakes up early, slipping out of bed with practiced quiet so as not to disturb your sleep. He heads to the kitchen, the routine as comforting as it is necessary. As he prepares breakfast for you, the smell of coffee and fresh bread filling the air, he recites his favorite prayer—a prayer for your happiness, for your health, for the life you’ve built together.

He prays that this happiness will always last. That you will always be together, side by side, through every challenge and every joy. He prays that you’ll grow old together, watching as Megumi grows and flourishes, as your love deepens with each passing year. Toji doesn’t ask for much from the universe, but he asks for this with all his heart, every single day.

As he stirs the pot or flips a pancake, he silently repeats the same words he’s said countless times before. It’s a quiet ritual, one that brings him comfort and strength. He prays that this life you’ve created together will remain untouched by the harshness of the world. That no matter what comes your way, you’ll face it together, hand in hand, just as you always have.

And every time, he ends his prayer with a whispered gratitude for the life he now leads, for the love he never thought he’d deserve. He remembers the day he asked if he could take your last name, a symbol of his commitment to you, of his desire to be fully and completely yours. When you agreed, with that beautiful smile of yours, it felt like his prayer had already been answered.

Fushiguro Toji knows he’s been blessed beyond measure. He never thought he’d find peace, not in the life he once led. But here, in the quiet of the morning as he cooks breakfast for the two people who mean everything to him, he feels it—peace, contentment, love.

And every day, he prays that it will stay this way. That you’ll always wake up beside him, that you’ll always be together, that the life you share will continue to grow and thrive. Because there’s nothing in this world, nothing at all, that could ever compare to being with you.

As Toji finishes preparing breakfast, he carries the plates over to the table where you’re already seated, your hands cradling a warm cup of coffee. Megumi is in his high chair, babbling happily as he plays with a small toy. Toji sets the plates down, taking a seat across from you. The morning light filters in through the window, casting a soft glow over the kitchen, and everything feels peaceful and right.

You smile at him as he sits down, your eyes filled with warmth. “Breakfast looks amazing, as always, babe.” you say, taking a bite of the perfectly cooked eggs. “You spoil us, you know that?”

Toji chuckles, shaking his head slightly. “Just making sure my family’s well-fed, y’know?” he replies, his tone light. “Besides, it’s the least I can do.”

As you both start eating, a comfortable silence settles between you, broken only by the soft sounds of Megumi’s babbling. He sat in his high chair, enjoying tapping the table. He's even excited to eat his dad’s food, small as he is. After a few moments, you look up at Toji, a playful smile tugging at your lips.

“So, what do you think we should have for dinner tonight?” you ask casually, your tone teasing. “I’m in the mood for something special.”

Toji raises an eyebrow, a smirk playing on his lips. “Special, huh? What are you thinking? Something fancy or just comfort food?”

You tilt your head, pretending to think it over. “Hmm, maybe something with a bit of both. Like a nice roast or maybe pasta. We haven’t had that in a while.”

He nods, considering the options. “Pasta sounds good, babe. I could make that sauce you like, with the garlic and herbs.”

Your eyes light up at the suggestion. “Ohhhhh! That sounds perfect!” you say, leaning back in your chair with a contented sigh. “But you know, we could always make it a bit more special.”

Toji gives you a curious look. “Oh? And how would we do that?”

You lean forward, a mischievous glint in your eye. “We could have dinner just the two of us… after Megumi’s asleep. A little date night at home.”

Toji’s expression softens as he catches on to what you’re suggesting. He sends you a tender smile. “That sounds nice, babe.” he says quietly, his voice filled with affection. “Just you and me.”

You nod, reaching across the table to take his hand. “Exactly. We don’t get many chances to have a quiet dinner together these days.”

Toji squeezes your hand gently, his thumb brushing over your knuckles. “We’ll make it happen, don't worry.” he promises, his eyes locked with yours.

You hold his gaze for a moment before your expression turns a bit more serious. “You know… I’ve been thinking….” you begin, your voice soft.

Toji tilts his head slightly, his brow furrowing in concern. “What is it?”

You take a deep breath, gathering your thoughts. “I’ve been thinking about us… and our family. About how happy we are with Megumi. And… well, I was wondering if you’ve thought about having more kids.”

Toji’s eyes widen slightly in surprise, and for a moment, he’s quiet, processing your words. He nearly loses his balance. Your eyes go wide as you see him, but he manages to get a good steady composure. He clears his throat, turning to you again.

“More kids?” he repeats, his voice laced with curiosity.

You nod, giving him a small smile. “Yeah. I mean, I know it’s a big decision, and it’s something we’d have to really talk about, but… I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately. About how much I love being a mom, and how wonderful it would be to see Megumi with a little brother or sister.”

Toji’s expression softens as he watches you, his heart swelling with love for you. “You really want that?” he asks, his voice gentle.

“I do,” you admit, your eyes shining with emotion. “But only if you do too. I don’t want to push you into anything. I just… I wanted to know how you feel about it.”

Toji is quiet for a moment, his thoughts racing. He never imagined this kind of life for himself—a life filled with love, a life where he could be a father, where he could be loved and cherished. The thought of having more children, of growing your family even more, fills him with a sense of warmth and possibility. Being the father he had always wanted. He thinks that nothing would make his heart anymore fuller. And with you by his side? He thinks he would end up the happiest man alive.

Finally, he squeezes your hand again, his gaze steady as he meets your eyes. “I’d like that too.” he says, his voice thick with emotion. “If that’s what you want, then I’d love to have more kids with you. Nothing would make me happier.”

Your smile widens, relief and happiness flooding through you. “Really?” you ask, your voice soft with hope.

Toji nods, his expression serious and filled with love. “Really. I want to give you everything, and if more kids are part of that, then I’m all in. Whatever makes you happy makes me happy too, babe.”

Tears prick at the corners of your eyes as you lean across the table, capturing his lips in a tender kiss. “I love you so much, Toji.” you whisper against his lips.

“I love you too,” Toji replies, his voice just as soft. He pulls back slightly, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “So, pasta for dinner… and maybe a little planning for our future?”

You laugh, the sound filled with joy. “Sounds like the perfect evening.” 

Toji smiles back at you, his heart filled with a deep, contented love. He knows that whatever the future holds, as long as he has you by his side, everything will be just fine. As long as you’re together, as long as his little prayer will be answered — everything will be okay. That’s all that matters.

[zoropookie]

HOW HATERS ARE BORN (HHAB)

♡ chapter thirty-three — give it time (💋)

“I’ll admit, you made it look like a home.”

You looked around, enamored by the mutable blend of the other’s home. There was oddly a cozy charm that bled in the space, a mixture of contrasts that you wouldn’t have thought he would involve himself with.

There were soft shadows playing against the walls, promenaded by the warm and golden glow of the lamps. It was really elegant in here, yet, meticulously chosen to make you feel comfortable enough to sit down on the obviously expensive furniture.

“Didn’t know you had a…knack for interior design either.” You said hesitantly, looking at a very abstract tiny statue of a triangle on one of the shelves. Even thought you were interested, it still just felt like a painted on canvas for you. Kind of like...the idea that there can be paint on a canvas, but it doesn't make it a painting. "Learning a lot more about you everyday."

"It wasn't my idea," He sighed. "I told the interior designer 'not too many colors', and I guess she thought I was talking about completely mute."

"Feels like a sanctuary," you murmured.

Despite the dismissive words he gave you, the effort that was put into everything was clearly crafted and corroborated. You walked over to the books sitting on the coffee table, the only things out of place from the rest of the textures, reading the hard cover and smiling.

"You're really considering it?" You asked, to which Kuni turned towards you, "Taking care of the orchard outside."

He shrugged, his eyes moving back to making tea in the kitchen. "I don't have a choice. It's either me who does it, or it dies."

"That's not true, you can always pay someone to do it for you. I know there's a lot of people who may want it for themselves, it's completely healthy." You rambled, trying to see it through the long windows. "I take it that was a housewarming gift too?"

"From Furina. Came with the house, thought it'd be funny to see me struggle with something mundane."

"I heard," You grinned, not being able to keep your laugh in. "Love that for you, it's like a package deal! Did it work?"

He sighed again, running a hand through his hair at the thought. "I guess, I don't know," He started pour the tea once the pot began to steam. "I know her goal was to drive me insane. A constant reminder that no matter how far I try to distance myself from complications, they find a way to root themselves in my life."

"Hey, I wouldn't see it as that." You chuckled, the sound mixing with the soft clinking of the ceramic cups he was setting on the table. "It's probably just a way to keep you grounded after everything."

"I don't see the appeal in tending to trees."

"Maybe it's not even about that," You mused. "Maybe it's just about finding a healthy medium in your life, don't suppose you had that before, right?" You said, teasingly.

He rolled his eyes at you, a humored smile tugging at his lips. "You're one to preach about silver linings."

Your jaw dropped, a small scoff coming from your mouth. "I actually came here to truce, thank you very much. Even though you're the one who tried to run away from me — news flash, didn't work, genius. Still pissed off about that. I'm glad that Furina is looking to help you as much as she's looking to out you."

"Running away is my thing." He squinted playfully, "Like she's big help anyway. The only reason she's in on it is because she wants us to have this romance trope going on for real this time. It's stupid as fuck."

You paused at his words, feeling yourself swallow a big lump some of the tea nestled in your mouth. You shivered at the heat that washed on you, pursing your lips in thought as you let the conversation simmer. The two of you standing in a companionable silence. The trees outside rustled gently in the breeze, their leaves a vibrant contrast to the muted tones inside.

"I mean, I don't know," You paused, cringing as your fingers tightened on your cup. "I don't think it's stupid."

Kuni stiffened too, gaze flickering away for a moment before returning to meet yours. There was a certain look that you've never seen before from him. You couldn't decipher his actual feelings. "I figured."

Your cheeks flushed. "Holy shit, never mind if you were expecting it already." You hissed to yourself, trying to ebb how much embarrassment was on your skin. "Look, I need to check into my hotel soon—"

"Sit down." He cut you off, assertiveness in his tone enough to get you to immediately listen, plopping back down. There was an unexpected gravity that was with him, another departure from his nonchalant attitude.

Your heart hammered rapid fire in your chest, a mix of fear and total apprehension were doing a waltz on your general disposition. The more time you were here, the more you worried about the next time you'll make an absolute fucking fool of yourself. You fidgeted with your fingers.

"What really brought you here." He asked, expectantly. "First thing you give me is a hug, and some words of affirmation. You're not here just to catch up, especially after I blew you off."

"I wanted to see you again." You admitted, the weight of your own words pressing down on you. "You owned up to it, left your part of the Internet in a spiral, and then didn't bother to talk to me after that."

He was looking at you, you sensed it. And it wasn't like you could look at him back, otherwise you were going to melt. It was different seeing him from up close, it was an original experience to you if you could name it anything.

His eyes were searching you, despite all you said, as if trying to decipher if you were being genuine. His eyes bored into you like a tiny laser burning your skin. He nodded, a sliver of understanding crossing his face. "You gave me the impression that you were done. I left it at that."

"Yeah, well, I felt like the only one who could leave it at anything was me."

Despite how sticky and tense it was again, you felt relieved that he wasn't as malicious as he was behind the screen. You were relieved that at least the worst of it was over. But it didn't didn't help the burning in your chest, the aching of the bubble in your throat. "Ei really made you do all that stuff? It's not because you really do hate me, right?"

There was no more pretending anymore, no more hiding behind false bravado or dissing each other behind screens like pussies. It was only raw honesty, vulnerable and exposed.

"(Y/N)." His expression softened, a silent dilemma clear on his face. He gathered his own courage, squaring his shoulders a bit and looking at you again. "I'm sorry."

You felt dazed, electricity in the air around you, the world officially tilted on its axis to you. "What?" You accentuated snippier than you intended.

"You were collateral. Nothing that you did deserved what happened to you. Makes sense that you did what you did, you weren't the problem." He explained, shoulders slumped again. "I was behind what I did, at the end of the day; Ei just told me to do it. I'm sorry for being part of the reason you couldn't bounce back. I know if the situation were different, I'd leave you alone."

People kept saying that to you these days, that nothing that happened was because you deserved it. Maybe you never quite got the picture until Kuni said something along the lines of it. You never thought that him apologizing to you would garner the oddest reaction out of you.

Because why was it sexy..? Stop.

"And," He sighed, grabbing your attention lightspeed again. "I would consider liking you more if this all didn't happen. You're alright."

His admission of everything was catching you off guard left and right. You had no idea what to feel with the prominent knot in your stomach. "Do you like me?" "(Y/N), I don't want to—"

"I'm alright, in your words, but do you like me?" Your tone solidified with each word slowly jutting out, assertiveness hardening your composure. "Tell me. Look at me and tell me."

The uncertainly stretched on for what was practically indefinitely. He held his breath, as did you, waiting for his response. Your heart was ruthless against you, beating against your body. He sized you up, seeking an answer for himself.

"...Yeah?" He admitted, voice barely audible as he tried to find his own words. But everything he did think of was so unlike him, out of his personal way of handling things like this. "Yeah. I do."

You blinked, both of your eye contact filling a certain, more romantic space that neither of you even thought was there before today. But the more you realized it, the more you realized that maybe the sexual tension was always there.

previous ♡ masterlist ♡ next

YOU ARE on your way to being one of the hottest streamer in your nation at the moment, racking a monthly average of 10 million viewers, but something specific bothers you about it. you know that a lot of people hate you, but there's this one account. one account that's been following you since the early days of your career. they leave a flood of rude comments in your stream, your moderators banned each account they made, but they keep making more. you are at the end of your tether. but you are yet to find out that this persistent cockroach is none other than your friend's friend (and the only other streamer that's bigger than you), scaramouche.

taglist ♡ @thystarsshine @veekoko @gumickajolli @simonisferal @kamiboo

@justpeachyteastea @feiherp @pinkismyfavcolor @aether-darling @kunisnaomi

@keiiqq @mine-lu @featuredtofu @danhenglovebot @k4zushi

@kyon-cherri @b4tm4nn @iiinaurate @quacking-simp @auroratumbles

@kookiibun @ulquiorraswife @amvpk01 @simplysm1le @h3xi2g0n3

@alatusorrow @scaranthropy @mellowberrie @magica-ren @vernith

@kabukipookie @bananasquash @suqarlaced @dellalyra @lightyagamifan

@yourfavoritefreakyhan @heartsforseo @yomishen @pwushizz @swivy123

@strxwberryfetish @ibyobi @ashfrommars4 @chemiru @ainnofinway

@agaygothicmushroom @levianamor @dragontammerz @wth121 @lylovw

@morgyyyyyyy @lovemari @suniika @littlesliceofcheese @yumejo89

@liuaneee @franaby @tiddieshakeshownu @mimi3lover @kavineyah

@kittywagun (bold users means i'm having trouble tagging you)

[littlebigmouse]

List of Small Things™ I enjoy about Fullmetal Alchemist in no particular order

Everyone in FMAB/manga is just Some Guy™ and very human and I love that so here goes:

Falman getting stuck with a serial-killing suit of armor in his appartment for days and his reaction to it. It may have been weeks. He's been on sick leave the entire time. He's a guy in his early thirties with a flock of early-greying hair because being in a dead-end-role in the military is stressfull, ok. He gets stuck at home with a funny little serial killer (and eventually some foreign body guards, and a foreign prince?? lighting signal fires in his backyard?? like man what a week)

The whole military ambush against the Devil's Nest was yes, kind of kickstarted by the gang kidnapping Al for Greed, but it was mostly kickstarted because Ed was down south to do his yearly official report and Bradley and Armstrong just happened to be present when he was informed Al had gone missing. Greed's entire operation was done in by a teen doing his paperwork

on that note, Greed really decided to spend his immortality wisely by pursuing absolutely none of his supposed ambitions and just decided to settle down with a bunch of buddies. An offshot of the buddies he was initially made to guard, too. I don't think Greed is aware of this either

everyone on that radio building. The radio host 100% down to get some coup-shenanigans into his station to drive engagement. The guys sympathising with Mrs Bradley and taking care of her. Breda taking control of the narrative with a perpetual frown by the skin of his teeth.

I know the story of how the Bradleys met is technically not canon(?) but Mrs Bradley slapping her future husband upon their first meeting because he got his flirting tips from his siblings will never not be funny. Idiots. All of them.

EVERYTHING about Darius and Heinkel. They lost their jobs and became wanted criminals upon helping out some scrawny 15 year old. They have families they miss dearly. They haven't looked back since. "You guys don't HAVE to help me save the world" - "It's not like we have anything better to do"

i was going to say the Ice Cream Truck, because it's iconic, but actually, when told to disguise a vehicle, 15-year-old pinacle of edgelord fashion Edward Elric turned it into a colourful nightmare of spikes that barely resembled a car but might be closely related to the worlds deadliest parade float. None of this was necessary. Ed is just like that.

Hawkeye growing her hair out after meeting Winry, and Winry getting piercings after seeing Hawkeye's

Denny Brosh bursting into tears when he sees Maria Ross is still alive. Dude managed to not quit his job despite working in the same city (department?) where his best friend's killer was his supervisor. They were also very real for showing us that this is a guy who oversleeps and is older brother to at least three younger siblings. There was no need to give us more on Denny Brosh but every little detail hit so hard when they reunited.

okay so remember that time Ed and Ling ate Ed's shoe. Remember that Ed spend some time on a "deserted island" as a kid. Gluttony's stomach had nothing on him. Izumi raised some anime-ass boy-scouts. 100% Farm boy behaviour. These kids are so 15 it makes me want to bite things

immortal, soul-spliced dwarf in a flask got rid of his Sloth and still managed to procrastinate on his world domination plan until the last minute. Most Human disaster.

the entire half-episode they spend on Dr. Knox and his regrets and family. FMA is so good about humanising everyone.

everyone bullied Yoki because he was a small town fraud exploiting workers for his own benefit. Simply a jerk. He also hit Pride with a car in an epic rescue, and cried and screamed the whole way through

that one shot of a kid curiously poking a soldier they found bound on the ground with a stick

(I know it's technically not canon, but-) "I'm trying to save your life, asshole!"

Edward Elric

[samott]

Ez volt mar itt, olvastam, de nem talalom. Megkerestem a redditen, link lesz a vegen, de legyen meg itt egyben:

My missing husband came home, but I just know it isn't him

My husband went missing six months ago. Just... went out to work one day and never came home. It was a horrible shock to the whole neighbourhood, because things like that just didn't happen in our little slice of white-picket-fence suburbia. The police launched an investigation, and the neighbourhood watch sent out search parties, but no one ever found any evidence to indicate what had happened to him. Our families were devastated. Recently, the missing posters have been taken down or papered over. The updates from the police became less frequent and dwindled away. I accepted that, hard as it was to admit, my Rick wasn't coming back.

Until he did.

A week ago, I was in the back garden watering my petunias when I heard the garden gate creak open. I jerked my head in that direction and- there he was. Exactly the same as he was the day he disappeared. Same windswept blond hair and bright blue eyes, same curl to his pink lips. I was in shock. Our families had mourned for him, and yet there he was, standing in our garden like he had just popped out for milk or something. When I asked where he had been, he said he didn't know. He couldn’t remember anything about the last six months.

All our family and friends are beside themselves with joy. They almost can't believe it. But that's just the thing: I don't believe it.

Look, I understand how crazy this all sounds, I do. Our families would never believe me, and I can’t go to the police unless I want to end up in a straightjacket. But I just know that the man sleeping next to me isn't my husband. I don't know what to do. I know I should be happy, but I'm not. I'm terrified. I don’t know much about anything supernatural or paranormal, I don't even like watching horror movies. But something about this whole situation makes my skin crawl.

Just let me explain why I'm so sure. Once I've done that, hopefully one of you will believe me, and you'll be able to tell me what to do.

The morning after "Rick" came home, I made him a cup of tea. When I handed it to him, he gave me the brightest smile. Then he took a sugar cube from the dish on the table and dropped it into the cup. Our house was in chaos with his return, and I was still in shock, so I didn't think much of it at the time, but its been replaying in my mind ever since. I know it doesn't sound very significant, but my husband never put sugar in his tea. He was always adamant that it ruined the taste, and he'd get so frustrated if I ever put sugar in his cup by accident. And yet, this man had sugar.

Then it was the golf. A few days ago, when he was out visiting his mom, I recorded a golf tournament that was showing on the TV. It was one of Rick's favourite golfers that was competing, and he never missed it. Once, he even skipped out on an anniversary dinner just to watch a championship. Only, when he came home from his parents' and I told him what I'd done, he just seemed... unbothered? Like, he said thanks and everything, and then he asked if I wanted to get dinner. He didn't even watch it, and that’s just so out of character for him.

Then one night I woke up around 2 a.m. to see Rick's face inches from mine just... looking at me with these blank eyes. I kinda gave this nervous laugh and asked "Baby, what are you doing?" And he didn't answer. For like a solid thirty seconds. He just stared, almost like he was looking right through me. Then he suddenly smiled and said, "Sorry, honey. Sometimes I just can’t believe this is real". Then he just rolled over and went to sleep. I didn’t get much sleep after that, myself.

Yesterday, about a week after he came home, the neighbourhood threw a street party to celebrate his return. Everyone from our street and the streets on either side turned up to see him and tell him how happy they are that he's alright. When he wasn't standing with his arm around my waist, he was milling around chatting amicably to each and every one of our neighbours, even the little kids. Jackson, our next-door neighbour Sally's toddler, wanted to play peek-a-boo, and Rick happily played along with a smile on his face. Now, my husband never did that. Rick always said he didn't like kids - that's why we never had any - and so he never wanted to play with any of the neighbourhood children. Especially not Jackson: Rick all but avoided him. Before he disappeared, I had started to suspect it was so I wouldn't see them together and notice the subtle but unmistakable similarities.

The final nail in the coffin, proverbially speaking, was Sally. Just this morning, she came knocking on our door. Her excuse was the tray of brownies she carried, but I think she just wanted to push her way into our morning so that she could see for herself what the situation was. After she left, I called her a nosy busybody. Rick laughed, kissed my head, and agreed with me. That was when I knew for sure that it couldn't really be him. Rick always used to get so mad whenever I insulted Sally, like I didn't have any right to hate her even though she'd been fucking my husband for years. But today there was none of that. He didn’t even try to defend her.

I know what you must be thinking. If he was in an accident or something, he might’ve had some kind of traumatic brain injury that caused him to forget some things about his life, maybe even change his personality. And that's a valid, reasonable explanation. I have no doubt it's what the police would tell me if I reported all this.

But you know why I'm dead certain that man isn't my husband? He doesn't have a scar. If he was really Rick, he'd have a scar on the side of his forehead shaped like the golf club I hit him with. But there's nothing. Not a mark. Honestly, I'm this close to going out tonight and digging up my petunias just to make sure he's still under there.

I don't know what I'm sharing a bed with, but I know it's not my husband. So what the hell am I going to do?

innet

[heyhihellosworld]

𝗛𝗲 𝗶𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘁!

Pt 2 Pt 3

Mason Mount x reader

Word count: 4.5k, this is the longest one i've written so far

Summary: A quick bathroom fuck never hurt no one. Right?

Warnings: Fluff, Smut, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it)

Notes: Had fun writing this but didn't quite turn out the way I wanted. Plus I can't write Jack's accent so just pretend it's his talking lol and also smut is really hard to write so sorry for it, just couldn't skip it

"Oh my" you sighed, shaking your head at your brother. You were sprawled out on the couch, listening to Jack who hadn't stopped ranting for the last thirty minutes.

"Jack, come on man" you laughed, flicking his forehead with your fingers and ignoring his grimace. "I know what to do, I have been to games before. I won't go outside the box in game-time and I will see you later on" you summarized his rant with a pointed expression.

"I know you have, it's just... It was a long time ago and I just want ya to be safe" he sighed, standing up and heading to the kitchen, filling a bottle with water. "And you forgot one thing"

You scoffed at him, leaning your head back against the couch with a sarcastic chuckle "Oh wow, I'm so sorry how could I forget"

"Don't apricate the tone"

You laughed for real this time, meeting his playful eyes from across the room "I won't fuck any of your teammates Jack"

He hummed in appreciation of your words but couldn't help but fill in "any footballers"

"I won't fuck your teammats Jack" you declared, making him grunt "what, no no, no footballers" "That's mean!" you argued but he shook his head

You raised your eyebrows at him in a daring way "Either way you agree with no teammates or I will fuck all of your teammates" you threatened halfheartedly, eyes narrowing at his face.

"Fine" he sighed, giving up. It wasn't like you planned on fucking any of them, at least not tonight but you still felt good having won that small battle.

"Okay well are you ready?" he asked, making you jerk your head up from the couch "What? But it's like three hours to the game" you protested, not being ready at all.

"Well yeah, but if you wanna go you need to go with me and I have to be there in twenty minutes" "Why can't I just take an uber?" you questioned but stood up anyway, you knew this was a battle he would win and you were not ready to go yet. "No, just go get ready" Jack chuckled as you sprinted up the stair of his house. You had moved in with your brother a few days ago after having come home from studying in France for the last three years.

You had always been close, it only being three years between the two of you meant you had grown up really close. So when you announced you wanted to move back to England this year he had opened his home for you immediately, pleading you to live with him rather than your parents until you found a job and arranged a living on your own.

You sprinted to the bathroom, brushing your hair and whipping up some mascara before changing into a simple outfit, a hoodie and jeans since you were gonna wear his shirt later on anyways. Since Jack was always late so you didn't hurry your ass too much but took your time.

When you emerged from the stairs fifteen minutes later he was sprawled out on the couch smiling as you walked towards him, standing up and giving you a side hug. "I really missed you ya know" he hummed a smile taking over your face "well I have missed you to Jack"

He messed your hair around in a loving manner before you both tied your shoes and made your way to his car. He lived close to the arena and considering it was a home game it was only a fifteen minutes drive.

"I bet you'll start on the bench if you'r late" you hummed jokingly "nah, not when I got you with me" Jack grinned "Plus I warned them about it yesterday so don't worry, you won't miss me on the pitch, you will get to live your dream"

You smiled at him, "wow, how nice"

He grinned back at you, he looked just the same he had always done, of course he looked a lil more mature and manly then when he was a kid but not much had changed. He had the same strong face, same long stroppy hair and the same humor and personality. Never failing to make you smile.

"So, what will I do for five hours?" Jack shrugged "I don't know, entertain yourself"

"Are you gonna leave me on a bench?" you joked dramatically but when he shrugged you gasped "Jack Peter Grealish you are not leaving me like that!"

"Don't middle name me"

"Well don't leave me on a bench for five hours then!"

"I haven't done anything yet! We are in the car for fucks sake"

"Okay okay" you giggled "I'm gonna follow you around"

"You can not follow me into the changing room"

"Well fine, I can understand that but otherwise"

"Yeah, yeah, just don't get on ma nerves" he grunted, already regretting talking you into going with him.

"As you bed you lay" you grinned, messing his hair up to his dismay, grimace spreading over his features as he tried to fix his looks before you rolled up to the parking lot. There were already a couple of fans outside, wanting to talk to Jack and he was nice enough to wave his window down, sign some shirts and talk a little to the fans before excusing himself and driving into the private part of the park.

"Okay, behave now" he scolded playfully, your eyes rolling at his manner. "Oi! I saw that!"

You rolled your eyes again with a smile on your lips, ignoring his yelp and climbing out of the car. "Just go in Jack"

You walked after him into the building, he had a meet up with the team and then they walked to the pitch. It wasn't actually five hours but more like two-three hours until kickoff.

You didn't want to actually hang off him all day because you knew he needed to get into his mood as well so you opted to go directly to the arena and climbed up in the middle of the stand. It had been a long time since you were there last. You had grown up with the same passion for football as your brother but had never acted on it. You loved it but you didn't want it to be your job, only your hobby.

You had stopped playing as a teen and then opted to play only for fun in the garden with Jack or someone else when the opportunity came up. Even though you hadn't been here and watched his games you hadn't missed a single one of his since you moved. But you had to admit that sitting here beat the couch. Even empty the atmosphere was awesome.

You studied the players as they walked onto the pitch. It was an awesome game today, City against Chelsea. You didn't know that many players outside of City but Chelsea were a good team that you knew. Plus you had always had an extra eye for a few players at Chelsea.

Soon the players started to tumble onto the pitch. You spotted Jack walking with Phil, humming along each other and laughing, probably a stupid joke of Jack's.

Your air-pods buzzed by the sounds of your playlist whilst you just observed. Soon dark blue clothed players started to come onto the pitch as well, greeting some of the city players before focusing.

You let your eyes fleet around, naming the players you knew by name which was close to everyone. You knew a few of them personally but it was mostly Villa players you had met.

Suddenly your eyes stuck on one of the Chelsea players. He stuck out to you, not because he looked special or weird he just... stuck out. He had headphones on and looked really into his zone. Fair brown fluffy hair stuck out messily around the headphones and he had a slight scruff covering his chin. He was more than handsome.

Your eyes followed him around as he walked, stopping after a while to talk to Jack and a few other City players. You couldn't put a name to his face.

The idea of asking Jack about him traveled into your mind but you quickly waved the idea out of your head. He would never tell you if he got the impression you thought he was good looking.

As you stared at his movements he suddenly looked up at you, meeting your eyes with a concentrated look. You froze in your seat, shit had he noticed you staring. You tried to play it off but didn't move your eyes from him, mirroring the grin he gave you as he had spotted you.

His tongue poked out from the side of his mouth, swiping over his bottomlip before he followed his teammates off the pitch and back down the tunnel.

-

"Hey, you fell asleep?"

Your head snapped around to the tunnel where Jack's head poked out. "No no, just calm here" you hummed

Jack chuckled, nodding. Okay I just wanted to check on you, people are starting to come now so get away from there. We will start warming up in ten"

You nodded, walking down from the stand and into the tunnel where they were already preparing for the public. You squeezed yourself past and walked with Jack into the tunnel. "Hey, can I get coffee?" you pulled your cutest face, blinking at him while he rolled his eyes. "Sure, let me just check they are all dressed" he grunted, leaving you in the stairs. "Fine, come in" Jack gruffed, holding the door open for you into the city area of the building.

You waved trough the opening at the players who all greeted you back before taking a cup and making yourself some coffee while Jack looked at you with crossed arms. You weren't new to his teammates. During your French years you had been home to visit and met most of them. It had become known that where Jack went you went too. He was protective and always wanted to have you under his sight when there were a lot of people around.

"So, in ten minutes it's warm up so you gotta get to the box and please-" "I won't leave the box Jack" you sighed, rolling your eyes. "Calm down, It'll be fine"

"Little Grealish" John grinned, cutting off your conversation with Jack as he engulfed you in a hug "ah hi Stones, how are ya?"

"All good, what about you? Haven't seen you for a long time"

"I'm all good" you smiled "Jack said you moved back here?"

You nodded, sipping your coffee "Yeah, earlier this week, I finished my studies so it felt like the right decision"

"Well that's really nice, maybe I will see you around a little more than?" he grinned making Jack cough beside you "Yeah you sure will" you smiled, not missing the wink he threw you before going back to his seat.

"No" Jack grunted before you had even had the time to look at him. Laughter spilled out of your mouth before you could stop it "What"

"No, not gonna happen he is old plus he is my teammate"

You chuckled, leaning against his side "Don't worry Jack, I'm not into Stones, plus he has a girlfriend"

"Didn't seem to stop him" he grunted "Maybe not but it stops me. You don't have to be so tense Jack. I can take care of myself and I won't sleep with your teammates, I promised"

"Okay, Okay" he sighed, giving up on the argument. "Anyway, I'm just gonna fill this up and then i'll go. Good luck" you smiled, kissing his cheek before shouting a collective good luck and moving to your seat.

It was packed in the stadium already, people bussing for an hopefully exciting game. You smiled as you saw him jog up the pitch in his light blue set. Hair flopping as he ran. But soon your eyes changed direction as dark blue clothed men started to jog into the other half of the pitch.

Your eyes immediately found him, he looked ridiculously hot in his set, hair flopping a little and tongue again poking out from his lips. You noticed he was popular by the way the arena started buzzing as he did something towards them but yet you couldn't put your finger on who he was. You followed City and some national teams but not more than that. It was what you had time for.

The whole game your eyes seemed to fleet back to the brunette. He played really well and you caught yourself cheering when he scored a goal. Stopping quickly as you realized your betrayal.

Jack played really good too, creating a lot on his side and almost scoring a goal.

When the final whistle blew it was 3-2 to City and you cheered as the team waved up to the stands, clapping their hands to thank the public. You quickly slipped down to Jack again, just as he had told you too. All players had gone into the changing rooms so you sat down on the top of the stairs. Resting your back against the wall.

You were kinda tired, it had been an early morning and there was always a lot of tension and excitement during the game, a tension that was let off and left tiredness.

You went on your phone, sighing at all the notifications and shutting it again.

"Are you lost?"

You flinched, almost losing balance at the voice. Your head almost snapped off as you looked at the man who stood on the top of the stairs, looking down at you with a small smirk.

You felt your face heat up as you saw the familiar face of the handsome Chelsea player. "Ah, no" you said, your voice coming out choked and hurried. You cursed yourself, forcing yourself to calm down and act cool despite how ridiculously hot this man was.

"Really because usually fans aren't allowed to be here, how did you even get here?" "Ah you know I just climbed over the wall" you said in ironic voice, loving the smile that lit up his face

"So noticing tre sarcasm I'm guessing you're allowed here"

"Yeah" you breathed "My brother is playing on the team" you clarified making him hum in recognition "I see, i'm guessing city?" he grinned, looking down at your light blue shirt you had pulled on over your hoodie. "Yeah"

"Mase come on man!"

Mason looked back over his shoulder where one of his teammates shouted after him "Ah shit, I need to go. Pleasure to meet you..." "y/n"

"Ah, Mason" he greeted, shaking your hand awkwardly as you chuckled "MASON!"

"I'm coming!"

He bid farewell, jogging out the tunnel to grab something before winking at you as he went past up the stairs and into the changing room again.

You felt as if your whole body flushed as you looked after him, shaking your head at how you were acting. He was a normal human being for fucks sake. Just ridiculously gorgeous.

"Ah there you are" Jack grinned as he walked out into the hall, grinning widely, his hair all dripping wet. "Congratulations" you grinned, hugging him shortly before pulling off, not wanting to get soaked by him. "Thanks" he grinned with his characteristic smile.

"I'm just gonna go get changed then we're gonna go out for a couple of drinks. I can drop you off if you don't wanna go" "Nah, it sounds fun" you assured, meeting his smile as he slipped inside the changingroom again.

--

The club was packed. Sure it was starting to get into evening time but still, pretty early to get to the club in your opinion. Jack had taken you to a McDonald's after whining you were hungry but he had refused to go home so you could change but after downing your meal you were pretty happy regardless.

It was nice in the club, you talked a little amongst his teammates, drank a little until the clock turned to a more decent time where you began drinking for real. The club started getting busier and more and more alcohol went down your throat. Jack was somewhere unknown so you entertained yourself with Ruben. Someone you'd always found ridiculously attractive but you never acted on it, you wouldn't today either but a lil flirting and teasing didn't hurt.

After a little while you excused yourself to the bar, pushing through a lot of bodies to get to the front. You got your drink and turned around with a sigh, leaning against the side of the bar while sipping on it.

"Did someone ditch you here?"

Your eyes flickered up at the voice you somehow remembered it but couldn't place it until you saw that face again, Mason.

You couldn't hide the grin that spread on your face upon seeing him again, grinning lazily at him. "Hello Mason" you smiled

"No one ditched me, I just wanted some more alcohol" you answered, swirling your glass in front of him whilst he hummed.

"What are you doing here?" you questioned, looking over his shoulder to see if any other Chelsea players were there as well but you couldn't recognize anyone.

"Stones told me they were going and I thought why not, it's not too often i'm in manchester" he answered your question. You nodded in understanding, not really clicking it all together.

"So, what did you think of the game?" "Ah really good, good goal too" you hummed, looking into his brown eyes. He looked so good it felt cruel. He had changed into a simple white tee and dark jeans, his hair still visibly dampened but still styled. You let your tongue swipe over your bottom lip whilst keeping eye contact with him seeing his adam-apple bobble as he swallowed.

"Are you drunk?" he questioned making you chuckle "Nah" you grinned, standing up from the leant back position and downing the remainants of your drink before walking past him, grabbing his arm on the way and pulling him out on the floor.

You began dancing in front of his hungry eyes, the alcohol giving you a lot of confidence. He was as tipsy as you were soon joining you by grabbing your hips, looking intently into your eyes as you smirked, grinding into him more and more for every song.

The heat between you was too much, you couldn't miss it and you couldn't miss the way you felt his hardness through his jeans nor the way he did not so subtle ground into your ass every chance he got.

"I would ask you to go home with me but i'm sleeping at a friends" he revealed making you pout your lips in thought. You couldn't take him home to Jack's, not a chance but you couldn't not fuck him either. Your need for him was too much.

Your eyes lit up as you came up with a solution, grabbing his hand and pulling him towards the bathroom.

He chuckled as you locked the door to one of them. "Really?" he laughed, "Well if you don't wanna fuck me-"

He shut you up by kissing you. His lips hungrily meet yours in a mess of teeth and tongue. You knew it was gonna be a messy and hurried fuck but it was all you needed right now. His hands roamed your body, squeezing your figure and feeling you up desperately.

Your hands tangled in his hair, tugging at it slightly as he let out small breathy noises at the contact. Your hands traveled under his t-shirt groaning as you felt his abs under your fingertips.

He broke the kiss only to tug his t-shirt over his head, his hands pushing up your own hoodie to grasp at your breasts. He walked you backwards, hoisting you up on the counter, your head leaning against the mirror as he hungrily kissed up your neck and over your jaw. "You're so sexy" he grunted, leaving a trail of kisses down your throat and up to your jaw again, kissing you hungrily.

You were the one who broke the kiss, grasping at his jeans to hurry things up a little. Let's face it, you were in a public bathroom.

"Okay okay" he chuckled, undoing your pants first before chucking them down your legs and letting them pool on the floor.

His hand moved like on instinct to your pussy, rubbing your clit over the flimsy material. You groaned, tilting your head back, closing your eyes in content. Finally getting what you wanted.

"Hm, that feels good?" he hummed, tone almost lingering on mocking. "Mhm" you moaned, looking at him with warning eyes which he just waved off with a chuckle. You were just about to say something when he gripped your underwear, pulling them off and throwing them next to your jeans.

His fingers created path between your fold, going up and down before two of them slid inside of you. You bit your lip to prevent the moan as he slowly started to move them, hooking them slowly and teasingly against your spot.

"Oh fuck" you groaned, breathing heavily against his ear and eyes threatening to close of pleasure.

Your hand made its way to his jeans, unbuttoning the button and pushing your hand down inside, palming his already hard dick through his boxers. He breathed out a heavy breath, eyelids getting heavy at the relief.

You pushed his underwear off as far as necessary and continued to stroke him, finding it satisfactory how he looked and breathed when you did. He however soon found it necessary to stop you before he would be cumming in your hand.

"Okay, okay" he breathed, pushing your hand away from him. He continued to flick his fingers inside of you a few more times before pulling them out. He pushed the digits into his mouth making you moan at the sight.

He pulled his digits out, chuckling at your reaction with gleeful eyes. His fingers softly brushed a couple of hair strands out of your face as his lips met yours again, this time much softer but still hungry and needy.

You lifted your hips slightly, hurrying him up. He got your signal, grabbing your hips while guiding himself to your opening just as eager as you were.

You couldn't help the moan that left your throat as he pushed in slowly. Your head fell back as your eyes fell closed at the stretch.

"Fuck" you breathed, gripping the edge of the counter harshly, your hips moving on their own to ger yourself used to the feeling of him.

He began slowly, easing you both into it. The alcohol making you both careless and needy, just wanting some sloppy club-bathroom sex.

He soon began to go faster, moving your hips to meet his thrusts, his dick hitting all the perfect spots inside of you with the position you were in. The pace getting more and more desperate for every thrust. "Ah fuck Mason" you groaned, trying to keep your eyes open to watch his reaction as he continued to thrust.

His eyes sparkled in the dim light and his mouth was half-open. Small pants coming out whenever he bottomed out inside of you. He watched your body move, watching how his dick repeatably disappeared inside of you, he watched as your breasts moved and how you bit your lip to not let out the loud moans you had on your tongue.

"Yeah? Feel good?" he hummed, looking cocky at your reactions to his actions. You nodded, not having the energy to put him in his place right now. "Yeah?" he pressed making you roll your eyes "Just shut up and fuck me" you grunted not missing the cocky smile he gave you as he picked up his speed further, thrusting harder into you.

The sound of your skin meeting was loud and you were almost scared someone would hear from outside of the bathroom. You tried to keep your moans in, biting your lip and when it became too much you leaned forward, bracing yourself on his shoulder as you bit the skin where his shoulder and neck met. He let out a slight whine at the mark only speeding up his movements.

"I'm close" he grunted, giving you a heads up. You nodded, kissing up his shoulder and neck while you let one of your hands move between you, rubbing tight circles on your clit. You could feel it building in your lower stomach, on the edge of bursting already. Your head felt dizzy and your eyes rolled at the extra stimulation.

"I'm gonna cum" you warned, rutting your hips against him as he groaned, silencing both of you with a kiss, each of you swallowing the others moans as you came down from your highs. You felt almost high, your eyes squeezing close and a lazy smile on your face. You could feel his legs and tummy clench as he came inside of you. Only then did it occur to you that you hadn't used a condom.

Mason seemed to realize the same thing, looking at you and blinking slowly "Did I just cum inside of you?"

You chuckled, leaning your head back against the mirror "It seems like it"

"Oh shit, I'm sorry-"

"I am on the pill, it should be fine" you dismissed, patting his shoulder reassuringly whilst he nodded at you, relief filling his eyes.

He slowly moved to slip out of you resting his forehead on your shoulder while you both tried to regain your breaths. "Maybe we should get out of here" you whispered, letting your lips ghost over his.

He nodded, meeting your eyes with a sweet smile before kissing you slowly, his tongue sweetly intertwining with yours.

When you parted you reached out to grab some paper towels from beside you, cleaning yourself up as he did the same.

He handed you your clothes and you quickly fixed yourself up, untangling your hair with your fingers before you nodded at him.

You stood up from the counter, buttoning your jeans before unlocking the door.

You stopped in your tracks seeing Jack casually leaned back against the wall as if he was waiting for you "Hey, there ya are, I thought you had drunken too much" he grinned

"I-uh" you stuttered, wincing as you felt Mason press into your back, his face snapping up as he saw that you were talking to someone.

Jack's mouth fell open, eyes fleeting between the two of you before he opened his mouth

"Hey! We said no teammates!" he exclaimed, looking at you accusingly.

"He is not your teammate!" You defended looking stroppily at him

"Yes he is!" "What, no he is in Chelsea!" You uttered in confusion. "England y/n, he is in England" Jack spoke calmly, his voice flat as he looked at you.

"Oh fuck"

[viandclintbarton-supremacy]

All Star (Millie Bright x GN Reader) Featuring WSL + BPL players

Warning: Swearing, Mature content

Sam Kerr XL VS Erling Haaland XL

A massive day in English football that was arriving. The Women's Super League and The Premier League were in a agreement to have a All Star match. Both teams made up from Stars of the WSL and the PL and the week would draw a lot of inspiration from the NBA all star week, Contests, Celebrity match, etc

Even though their was some concerns about the players playing too much, the game would be in off season and players had a choice to play if they wanted too. The idea of playing with some of the best in the country and friends was a exciting idea so when where contacted to be apart of Pep's side you jumped at the chance

Much Excitement was gathering for the event, especially since you was contacted to be apart of the Haaland XL and would take on the Kerr XL. The days following up to the event was press, media and training with the teammates for the match. The likes of Haaland, Mead, Foden, Son, TAA, Leah Williamson, Walker and more. Whilst the other team would have Sam Kerr, KDB, Russo, Millie Bright, Daly, Ederson and more.

During training camp you met with friends like Mead, Leah and Heung Min Son and new like Haaland, Lauren Hemp, Thiago Silva just to name a few.

Training camp was filled with banter, fun and energy. You loved being around the league's top stars that sometimes it you had to pinch yourself to see if this was real.

"Ok team, this will be the line up for the game. everyone will have time on the pitch. Even though this is a game of fun, I'm sure we all don't like to lose" Pep said in a light hearted tone which was responded with smiles and head nods. The slide would show the line up and you study it.

GK - Mary Earps

DEF- Walker, McCabe, Le Tissier, Sliva

MID - Williamson, Son, Foden

ATT - Y/N, Haaland, Hemp

You smiled at the line up, This team looked good and the bench was good too. You felt a nudge behind you to see Haaland and received a high five turned into a fist pump. Hemp who was sitting next to you also did the same. Leah, Son and Foden would just be magic. the back 4 screamed hard work and aggression and Mary had that passion to motivate the entire team. You, Hemp and Haaland is a dangerous trio. Hemp with her pace and quick thinking, Haaland is well Erling Haaland and you were the Top Goal scorer in the F.A cup and Champions league last season. This Team was powerful.

The meeting went on as Pep gave game plans and who would most likely deal with who. Like the defence and Mary having to hold off Sam Kerr and Salah. Midfield up against Rice, KDB, Cuthbert and Toone.

"Y/N, Hemp,Haaland. You will most likely be up against Trippier" You rubbed your chin, he can be a challenge "Steph Houghton" You lean forward excitement filled you as you go up against a lioness legend "Harry Maguire" You smirked at the easy challenge "And Millie Bright" Your smirked turned into a full blown evil smile, Not only would you a Arsenal Striker go up against a Chelsea captain but you LOVED challenges and Millie fitted that category. You looked at your attacking teammates who also looked intrigued and ready untill "I got a tenner on F/N making one of them break" you hear McCabe say from the back who made the room laugh, you turned to her with you smile on show. What did McCabe mean by her bet? Well you had a reputation..............for being one of the biggest shit talkers there is.

Whenever you were marked by a defender you just talked...and talked.... and talked until you were in their head or made them so irritated that they would try and two foot you and not be able to focus most of the time you catching them off guard and finding yourself through on goal

One thing that everyone knew about you when playing

No one could shut you up.

"I SAY TWENTY!" Hemp shouts taking the bet on you gave an eye roll

"THIRTY AND A ROUND OF DRINKS ON ME IF IM WRONG!" You had to double take as Son jumped in on it which threw you off "SONNY!" you said flabbergasted as the rest of the team were taking that bet

"HUNDRED!" You turned to Pep and gave him a really look

"I HAVE ONE FOR YOU F/N!" you turned back to Leah " Millie is a tough one and won't be easily broken" You tilted your head a little bit, interest building "If you can get Bright to break, I will be your assistant for a 24 hours" The room filled with oohs as you crossed your arms leaning back, biting your tongue, feeling a nudge from Hemp as Son put his hands on your shoulders and shock you "Go on!" Son said "Yeah you can make her suffer" Hemp said You smiled at your friends

"And if I don't?"

"You would my assistant for a full day" You smirked and leaned forward "And then McCabe's for another 24 hours" Your smirk dropped god knows what Katie would make you do. The Team were enjoying every moment of this after the brief thought, You knew you were the best at it when it came to cracking people. You turned to Katie who had the most terrifying smile you have ever seen in your life and past lifes. Leah walked over to you with a smug and extended her hand "do we have an accord" she said in a posh accent

"I Accept" You stood up and shock to the team clapping and voicing excitement. As Leah back to her seat you gently pulled her towards you with a evil smirk "Sonny!" You said gaining the Korean's attention "Yes?" "You don't happen to have a spare Tottenham shirt i can borrow right?" You asked in a innocent voice to which Leah's grin dropped and the blood drained from her face as the room started to giggle. "Yes i do, Why would you need one" He said smiling innocently "Just thinking Leah suits white and black clothing" Leah gave you a glare before returning to her seat.

The bet was on!!!!!

After many training sessions, interviews, social media posts, recordings for tv and youtube

The day was here, The team arrived at a sold out Wembley Stadium. Fans were on a high to watch football, see interactions they thought they would never see. The whole team was excited and determined to have a great match.

The team would go out for the last training session on the field before the game, it was there you would see the other team on the other side of the pitch and there she was. Your challenge Millie Bright, you looked at the Lioness she was quite the looker and you shamelessly checked her out. But then had an idea that hopefully would work, It was simple. She just needed to look at you. and thankfully she did.

She caught you looking at her and she nodded at you but frowned at little when you didn't nod back. She waved but all you did was smirk and went back to warm up. You were all ready trying to get inside the Chelsea captain's head.

The match was about to start, you walked out to the field with your team and waiting to shake the enemy teams hand and say good games and such. As you looked around you had to admit. Being in Wembley, on the pitch in front of that crowd was something.

You felt like a immortal everytime you played there, the cheers, the atmosphere. To you Wembley was the stage where legends made. And you know that after you scored the last minute goal for arsenal in the F.A Cup final against West Ham last season. You loved it here.

You were shaken out of your thoughts as you saw Sam Kerr approach you, clasping your hand and both winking at each other before saying "Have a good game" and this would continue down the line until you held Millies hand and gave a smirk which made frown a little bit.

As the match kicked off, you went to your position and found yourself marked by Millie. You glanced at Hemp who gave you a smile and raised her eyebrows at you

"This gonna be a great match" you said to Mille "Yeah it's crazy it's happening" She said in a happy voice

"Too bad i didnt get the male chelsea captain to deal with"

"Ooh is that How's it gonna be?" Millie replied in a amused voice as she glanced at you as you just gave a smirked.

A couple minutes later, you would find yourself running through on goal and was heading towards goal as you feel Millie trying to push you off the ball as Eddison was ready to challenge you. As Millie tried to kick the ball away she ended up dragging you down but you got a kick out of it but Eddison's fingers tip skimmed the ball enough to divert it to the post.

Next thing you knew you hit the ground hard as you felt someone fall on you. You looked at who was on top of you and was Millie "Sorry if that was a bit rough, you ok?" She said with her own smirk trying to get back at you. You couldn't help but get hot under the collar feeling her hot breath fall on you as she was on top of you but you remained composed

"Nah I'm good. I like it Rough, especially in the postion" you said in a flirty voice as you looked Millie up and down who responded with a flabbergasted face before she quickly got up and brushed herself off. You evilly cackle to yourself loud enough to hear.

Later as your team received a corner you would take your postion and felt a strong presence behind you. You glance to see Millie. She stood next to you as she got ready to fight in the air. You felt her hand on your waist.

"Oh Millie" You said in a fake shock but flirty voice. To which Millie give you a seconed look and glared at you. But heard McCabe cackle and you saw Kerr in front of you starting to chuckle. And a friendly bump on the arm by walker. But at that moment you heard the whistle and the ball was kicked in by Hemp and you locked on to the ball and was about to jumped but saw Haaland jump into the air for the header. You would jocky agaisnt Millie and you managed to throw off balanced so she couldn't challenge Haaland who buried it into the net.

Thr crowd cheered as the team chased Haaland but before you ran, you looked to Millie who was in the ground.

"That wasn't the brightest idea, Brighty!" You said before running off. Not noticing Rachel Daly heard the pun and couldn't help but feel proud at the pun. "It'd beginning to look like you gonna be wearing that spurs shirt Leah" Daly said as he walked past a worried Leah. Millie was being broken down slowly.

The game was 1-1 and you weren't slowing down with the jabs either, you tell Millie irratation was rising. "You seem to not be enjoying the match Millie. What could be wrong?" Nothing. You were standing behind her and couldn't see her face as you started to walk in front of her getting ready to make a run for the ball as the counter attack was coming "It's a nice view by the way Millie"

"What?"

"You backside"

"E-excuse me!" You heard her say in a shock voice as she stuttered the sentence out. In that moment before she could register you sprinted off towards the goal as Son lobbed the ball towards the goal as the chased it. "LITTLE SHIT!" You heard Millie shout trying to chase you down. The sentence threw her off long enough for you acceleration to get distance on her. You saw Maguire coming in for a tackle to which you did a Ronaldo chop to the left sending Maguire sliding in embarrassment. The crowd rained oohh and cheers, as you continued but the slight delay of the move let Millie catch up and you then would pull off a Cruyff turn which resulted in something the world rarely saw with Millie Bright. You sent Millie falling face first onto the ground, you didn't looked back as you ran towards the goal you were one on one with Eddison. Calm and collected to curled the ball past the Brazilian into the goal which led to cheers and claps as you ran off to find Son to thank him for the assist. "LETS GO SONNY BOY!" As you embraced each other and felt others join the bundle. Not knowing Bright was at her limit

Half time would come along and you would walk back to the locker room not before noticing a glare from Millie

You sat down waiting for Pep to talk about the game plan and you felt hands on your shoulders "I can't see much from my postion but I think you winning this bet L/N" you hear Mary Earps say. You turn to her "yeah I feel bad though, hopefullyshe doesn't kill me" you grimaced "Oh she is gunning for you. I saw her face and know what that face means. Whatever happens Just apologise after the game. Hopefully you haven't pushed her too far that we never see you again" She said patting you in the back. Rest of the team walked in over the next couple minutes.

After the talk about the game plan and getting ready to go back out, you see Leah "You seem quiet Leah" Leah sighed

"Cause she bit off more then she could chew" Foden cheekly said as he grabbed a drink "Are you really gonna make her wear a Tottenham shirt? Couldn't be me" Declan Rice said giving you a friendly punch on the arm Leah groaned in annoyance "I'm getting annoyed here" She voiced in the room "So is Bright, You gonna be a good assistant" hear McCabe say as you and her step put of the locker room "ATLEAST I DIDN'T GET BOOKED A YELLOW!" You hear Leah shout at Katie before the door shut behind you, leaving you and Katie laugh as you walk back to the field

You were running into the box as a counter attack was on and Rice lobbed the ball into the box and you went to for the ball but felt a pain in your back sending flying as you jumped and just narrowly missing the goal post and falling to the ground. You gasped the wind was knocked out of you and winced "Jesus" you said sat up and saw Millie staring at you "Oh are you ok? I didn't break you did i?" She said in a sarcastic tone. You smirked "Yeah I deserve that one" you winched as you sat up "Yeah ya did brat" as she walked towards to you and extended her hand. You accepted her hand "Though I must say, You hit me so hard I started to angels. Then one helped me up" You winked at her "Oh for the love of"

*Whistle blows*

You notice the sub board

You run off to the sideline not before clapping and sending love to the crowd, high fiving the team and the enemy team

You glanced at Leah and wiggled your eyebrows. You won the bet and she looked miserable and fearful for that 24 hours

You approached your replacement Bethany England who became a close friend of yours during the All star team training.

You doubled high fived her "She all weared down for ya Bethy" She smiled and shook her head "GO GET ONE" You shouted to the the Tottenham captain

The match ended 5-3 to your team. You would shake hands and show respects

"Oi Millie!" You saw her coming towards you, You put your hands up as a sign of meaning no harm "You really a tough defend-Oof" She shoulder barged you into a stagger and walked to her team. You looked at her leave and then glanced at Daly who gave you, you are in trouble and I fear for your life look. You were shaken from your thoughts by two Tottenham players calling you. You turned with a smile and jogged to Son and Bethany for the trophy lift.

You be lying if you said you didn't feel bad about Millie. You admit you did a bit much especially in efforts for a bet. You found yourself in a secluded area of the hotel both teams would away for the night. You asked Leah if you could have Millies contact details in efforts to apologise. To which she did even after the endless teasing from the team after losing the bet. The team all agreed that Millie cleary let you in her head. You messaged the lioness

"Hey Millie, it's Y/N. Leah gave me your number. I wanted to apologise for my actions I got carried away and went to far in my shit talking today and I am at the hotel and I wanted to apologise in person. If you want nothing to do with me I understand"

"What door number and I will you at 11 pm"

You responded with the door and was left on read thus leading to you waiting outside your door with it open with anxiety building

"OI L/N!" You eyes snapped to the voice and there she was a furious lion that was Millie Bright marching towards you that you would say was murderous intent. Oh she gonna kill you. You put your arms up in defence

"Ok Millie, I'm sorry I really messed and you are very right to be piss-" You were cut off by Millie shoving into your room sending you stumbling. You hear the door slam and felt Millie grabbed you and put you agaisnt the door. You breath quicken as her face was inches away from yours as her breath was heavy and her eye were starring into your soul.

You gulped

------------------Mature Content-------------------

She grabbed both your wrist pining them above you head as she aggressively captured your lips with hers, shocking you, you tried to fight out of it. but couldnt help kiss back. She put her hand under your shirt rubbing your abs and grinded against you. You couldn't help but submit to this lioness. The frustration you gave her today made her lose it

You started to moan as she controlled you like her own toy. You could feel Millie smirk before slipping her tongue in your mouth. You were in bliss, Millie was pushing all the right buttons like you pushed hers on the field.

She stopped for a breather "Holy-"

She then kissing your neck lightly making you shut up tried to fight back moans.

"Such a brat" her kissing became harsher and harder making you curl your toes and move you hands against Millies hold but she was freakishly strong.

Millie stopped and locked eyes with you

"You are going to make up for today" you looked at her helpless as you felt her hand move from your waist to your backside and she grouped. "I can't wait to see that view." She said in a devilous voice as she grouped your backside You were in a trance, you couldn't look away from her and you were still trying to control your breathing.

"But since I didn't get a trophy today, I'm going to take another one and mark it" She said lickling her lips before biting down on your neck and sucked on it. Making your wide eyed. Squeezing you fists and your voice caught in your throat. You let herself submit under her control as she continued to grope and pull you towards her grinding movements. "F-fuck M-millie" you said as you felt her mark your neck

"We will" She said grabbing you and throwing you onto the bed and pinned you down. You were still trying to process what was happening.

"What's wrong? I thought you like it rough?" She said in a seductive voice lifted up your shirt to your neck. "And this postion" you placed kisses from the top of your abs and went lower

Making you feel scared but filled with excitement

She went Iower

You moaned as you closed your eyes

She went lower

It was at this moment you was Millies trophy for the rest of the night

-----------------Mature Content End--------------

You eyes fluttered open as you felt a hand play with your hair and stroke your head. You turned into the body you were intangled with and pressed your face into thier chest.

"Morning my Trophy" you heard the voice of Millie as you felt the vibrations of her speaking and looked up to her still half asleep. You felt her move strays of hair out of your face "You look cute when your all tuckered out" she said teasing you giving you pleasant flashbacks of the events of last night. "You say it like I didn't enjoy it" you gave a weak smile "Oh I know you enjoyed" She sat up slightly and drew you closer to her as she pecked your lips "I heard you enjoy it" You started to sheepishly smile, she pecked you again "I felt you enjoy it" you hid your face in her neck, pecking her neck and ribbing you face trying to hide

"Looks like I figured out how to finally shut you up"

The End

Well that was a different type of story I'm used to writing well the end part. I hope you guys enjoyed it and got a laugh and a gasp out of it.

I really wanted to write a story involving male and female footballers and I tried to make it work. Please let me know if you liked that idea btw

Please send feedback, If you want more Millie imagines request them 😁

[lord-leclerc]

fate or destiny? (charles leclerc)

pairing: charles leclerc x fem! reader

summary: inspired by ceilings by Lizzy McAlpine. I did change a few concepts though.(i didn't include the last part of the song because im going through writer's block and couldn't find a way to join those two plots.)

warnings: fluff, nsfw, mentions of nudity, mentions of sex, angst if you squint.

a/n: first time writing for a real person, please bear with me. also lemme know if you want a part two(please say yes coz it will either be insta au or dad!charles ;))

sighing at the ceiling for the hundredth time in the past thirty minutes, you felt bored out of your mind. Looking around the room, you noticed the little things that you never had before-the plaster on the wall beside the door was worn off, your bedside table had a little dent on the corner, the curtain had a coffee stain from a time you couldn't remember. Time felt like it was moving in slow motion, every waking second a seemingly excruciating long moment. You felt numb. No coherent thoughts running through your mind, you stood up. These vacations, although peaceful, were ruining your peace, your existence being a whirlwind of boredom. Walking around the room, you stopped at the window overlooking the city. You looked out the window and saw you car in the driveway and shrugged-might as well go get groceries.

-

"Its alright", said the man with a thick accent, picking up your fallen bag.

You only shifted to Monaco last summer and communicating with people with your broken french was hard, yet you still managed to get your work done somehow.

stepping out of the store with hands full of bags, you bumped into a hard chest, apologies spewing out of your mouth like water out of a faucet. "I am so sorry!", you said.

"Want me to help you carry these?", the green eyed boy asked, noticing the amount of bags you had in your hands.

Not wanting to cause anymore troubles for him, you politely denied.

"But you already have so much in your hands, it's alright, just tell me where your car is."

Realising he wouldn't budge, you lead the way to your car and he helped you put all your bags in your car.

"Thank you so much.", you said with a smile.

"you're welcome, ?", he said in a suggesting tone, wanting to catch your name.

"Oh right! I am Y/N.", you extended your hand.

"Its nice to meet you, Y/N. I'm Charles.", he shook your hand, trying not to hold it for too long because of how soft your skin was.

As mesmerised as him, you blurted out your next words without any second thoughts.

"Hey, how about I get you a coffee? both as a thank you drink and an apology?"

One look at his dimpled smile and you knew, you knew you were doomed.

that one coffee date turned into two, then three and now four. Sitting on one of the benches in the local garden, you both enjoyed the slightly gloomy yet happy weather. The cool wind brushed against your skins, making you shiver which in turn made Charles tuck you under his arm, your head on his shoulder. You sat there in a comfortable silence, feeling like having known each other for an eternity even though it had only been a few weeks. You both embraced the warmth radiating from one another's body, that is, until you felt the cool touch of the water droplets against your warm flesh. You both sat there, not caring about the rain, just melting in each other's company until the rain became too heavy.

Your giggles echoed through the now empty garden as you ran, hand in hand with Charles, towards the gazebo in the center of the place. You were both dripping with water from head to toe by the time you reached the gazebo, but the rain was so heavy that water still found its way to you from the little spaces in between the grills of the roof and the pillars. Deciding you won't be able to do anything about it now, you just shook your heads and chuckled. Still hand in hand, Charles pulled you to him, trailing his other hand down your arm and interlacing his fingers with your own, he leaned down to rest his forehead on yours. Both of you were breathing heavily. Maybe it was because you ran here or maybe it was because of the sudden drop in the temperature. Or, maybe, it was due to your sheer closeness. Charles trailed his hand back up your arm, up your neck and finally buried his fingers in your hair , making you inhale sharply. Your eyes fluttered close as he leaned your head back to take a better look at your face. To him, you looked ethereal. Cheeks a rosy shade from the cold, hair all wet and in all places, eyes closed with little puffs of air leaving your lips, oh those lips. How badly he wanted to taste them, to feel those lips against his own and swallow every next breath that leaves them. He leaned in ever more, to the point where you could feel your breath mingling with his, making your insides feel all tingly. As he brushed his lips against yours, she gasped, bringing your hands up to his sides and fisting his hoodie in them with your eyes still closed.

"Can I kiss you?", he asked in a whisper, making you open your eyes instantly.

Staring into his green hues, you nodded. He looked down at your mouth again, which flooded your stomach with butterflies and anticipation as you watched him.

"Words, Y/N. I need words."

You sucked a deep breath in and nodded again, "yes."

"Yes, what?", his lips brushed against yours with every word that came out of his mouth.

"Yes, you may kiss me, Charles."

He didn't need to be asked twice. Like a starving man, he connected his mouth with yours, swallowing your gasp. He kissed you with his entire being and you returned the kiss with the same burning passion. You kissed under the rain for what felt like forever before finally breaking apart for some air, making him chase your lips again before shaking his head and chuckling, resting his head on yours again. He just couldn't get enough of you.

As for you? You knew he was a Formula 1 driver, you knew he wouldn't be able to give you as much time and you knew all the things that came along with being the girlfriend of a celebrity and a sportsperson, but that didn't stop you. You were willing to give this a chance, to give him a chance because you couldn't get enough of him either.

-

The room was a mess of muffled gasps and moans and tangled bodies and ripped clothes.

"Charles", you gasped, your eyes rolling to the back of your head as he mouth trailed kisses down your body. Your hands in his hair while his were on your hips, to keep you stable. He made his way up your body again and whispered, "oui, mon ange?", kissing the spot just behind your ear.

As he hovered over you, you looked into his eyes and wrapped your arms around his neck before placing your lips against his.

"Please.", you said and again, he didn't need to be asked twice.

Breathing heavily, he collapsed on you. You wrapped your arms around him and kissed his forehead before turning the both of you over so you were now laying on top of him and traced circles on his chest while placing small kisses against his neck.

"Are you okay, ma belle?", he whispered before placing a kiss on your head. You just hummed in response, too tired to even say something in response. Charles lazily rubbed his hand up and down your back while gently placing his lips against the skin of your shoulder, lulling you to sleep. As you laid there in his arms, he was the only one you could feel, the only one you could think about, the only one you could hear. He had enveloped you completely- body, mind, heart and soul. When he was with you, nothing else mattered-heck, you didn't want anything else to matter. It was him and only him and you would do anything to keep it that way.

Your mouth itched to say all this to him, to say those three words and you would've, but you didn't wanna ruin the moment by saying something he might not feel. Perhaps it was too early, since it had only been one and a half month but loving is something you can't control. You don't see the time or place, it just happens. You laid there, tangled with him, your body and heart at peace but your mind was full of chaos, full of all the words you ached to say to him, but perhaps words wouldn't be enough, so you did one thing which you hoped would convey everything you were feeling to him- you kissed him and he returned it with the same passion.

Both you and Charles were very happy that you both went to get groceries that day. Call it fate or destiny, you wouldn't be here if you hadn't been bored out of your damn mind that day. As horrific as it had been, you were thankful you bumped into the green eyed stranger and dropped your bags that day. Because now you don't know how to live without said stranger and couldn't imagine a life without him.

"I'll miss you, mon ange.", he said while pulling up to your apartment.

You rolled your eyes at his dramatic self.

"You'll see me tomorrow, Charles."

"Yeah, but tomorrow is so far. Comment vais-je vivre sans toi jusque-là?, he sighed. how will i live without you till then.

"I don't think you remember but I don't understand french to that extent so I would really like if you translate it for me."

"Nothing, belle.", he smiled before taking your hand and kissing your knuckles one by one.

You tried to pout but failed miserably. All you were capable of doing around this man was smile.

As the car came to a stop, your mind fumbled with the various possibilities of what would happen if you say those three words. Would he say it back? Would he get upset? What if he doesn't say anything? Fuck it-what will happen, will happen. He is going for 2 weeks straight this time and you'll loose your mind keeping it to yourself till then.

"Charles?"

"Oui? Is everything okay?", he asked, picking up the nervousness in your voice.

"No, Charles. Everything is not okay! How could it be when you're by my side? You make me so nervous, yet so happy. You're the only one I think about all day, the only one I can feel, I can hear. You make me a better version of myself and- and I feel like spending every waking moment of my day with you! I've never felt this strongly for anyone before and it scares me but I'll loose my damn mind if I don't get this out of my system today but I-", you paused your frustrated rant and took a deep breath before averting your gaze from the window behind his head to his green orbs.

"Je t'aime, Charles.", your voice barely a whisper.

He just looked at you. And for a moment, you were afraid. Afraid that maybe he'll just smile and say nothing, or maybe he will just tell you to go or maybe he will say that things are moving too fast or-

Out of all the things you expected, him grabbing your neck and yanking you forward was definitely not it. You gasped as he connected his lips with yours in a hungry kiss. He was rough, wanting to swallow all of you. Tongues wrestling and teeth clashing, he kissed you like he never had before and you struggled to keep up with him.

"Je t'aime tellement, mon amour. You have no idea how much. I've been itching to say these words to you but I didn't want to scare you off.", he whispered against your lips.

Slowly, you opened your eyes to find him already looking at you. You chuckled at the irony. How you were afraid to tell him only to find out he was just as scared.

"What?", he smiled.

You just shook you head and placed a kiss on the corner of his mouth.

"Come to the race with me?", he asked. "After this, I don't think I'll survive two weeks without you."

You happily nodded your head, "Thought you'd never ask.". He just chuckled and kissed you once again.

"You were wrong, by the way.", he said making you furrow your brows in confusion.

"You do know how to speak french and it sounds even more beautiful coming out of that pretty mouth of yours.", he winked while staring at your lips.

You slapped his chest, "Flirt." He grabbed your hand and held it against his chest.

"But I'm your flirt", he wiggled his eyebrows making you blush.

"I wanna fuck you so bad.", he said against your neck.

"Alors qu'attendez-vous?", you decided to put your french lessons to some use. then what are you waiting for?

He bit your neck and cursed under his breath. Suddenly, he got out of the car and moved around it to open your door. He helped you out of it and grabbed your hand before hurriedly making his way towards the elevator of your apartment. As soon as the elevator reached your floor, he was dragging you out of it and towards your door, demanding for you to open it. The moment you closed the door behind you, you were pinned to the wall beside the door and it was on. It would be a long night.

[roosterforme]

At Least Twice a Day (Rooster x Reader)

Part of The What If Collection of blurbs for Roo and Baby Girl. My masterlist. Banner by @mak-32

Warnings: language, mentions of smut, mention of injury

You loved having Goose and Carole stay with you and Bradley. His mom always taught you a new recipe, and you could tell how happy it made Bradley to spend time with them. Especially Goose. 

The guys were out walking Tramp after dinner, and you were helping Carole make a cake in your kitchen as you kept pausing to look at your engagement ring which used to be hers. 

"He'll take good care of you," Carole mused out loud as she cracked some eggs. "Not that you can't take care of yourself, of course. But he'll give you anything you need or want. That's just the way he loves you."

Her words made you feel gooey. "That's the way I love him, too."

Your future mother-in-law's beaming smile left you wishing Bradley would return from his walk so you could touch him. You just always wanted to be touching him. "Chocolate frosting?" Carole asked, interrupting your thoughts. 

"Yes. As long as Goose likes that."

She laughed and tossed her head back. "Goose has never meet a food he won't eat."

"Sounds exactly like Bradley."

Once the pretty cake was cooling and the frosting was ready to go on it, the front door opened, and Tramp bounded in ahead of the guys. "It smells good in here," Bradley murmured as he made a beeline to give you a hug. He kissed the top of your head as you snuggled your cheek against him. "Well this is a warm welcome."

"I missed you a little bit," you whispered. You made sure Carole and Goose looked distracted as you said, "You told me you'd make some more time for me all week. I want it real bad." You sent him a little pout just to reinforce things. It was hard to be as intimate as you liked when his parents were visiting.

His response sounded a little stern. "I know. I've been tired. And a little preoccupied. Don't act like you aren't getting it, Baby Girl." You pressed your lips together, because he'd actually taken the time to go down on you this morning before he got dressed. For almost thirty minutes. And it had been really good. "Now what smells so delicious?"

You patted his belly; he was still trying to get in shape again after his horrific accident during his last deployment a few months ago. "I don't think you should eat too much cake, okay. You told me to make sure you were making healthy food choices."

Bradley sighed and said, "If you make it, I'm going to want to eat it." He sounded a little snippy, and you knew it was because he loved his mom's recipes, but you'd stand firm.

"Just one small piece. I'm going to ice the cake, and we can all eat it tomorrow before your parents fly home to Virginia."

"Fine."

------------------------------

Bradley knew you were probably a tiny bit annoyed with him when you excused yourself early to take a shower and get ready for bed. But the cake looked so good, and he wanted to eat it even though he did tell you not to let him have too many sweets. His parents were on the couch watching a movie together when he changed into his gym clothes as he heard you get into the shower. Since he had his weight bench in the garage now, he should be using it every day. 

When he walked into the living room on his way to the kitchen to make a protein shake, he felt two pairs of eyes on him. "What?" he asked, turning toward the couch. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Well..." Carole began, already cluing Bradley in to the fact that this would be an irritating conversation. "We couldn't help but notice that you got a little bit snippy with your fiancée earlier."

"Oh here we go," he muttered in response, running his hand through his hair. "How much did you hear?"

They shared a look before Carole asked, "Are you sure you're pleasing her in the bedroom?"

He froze in place and barked out an annoyed laugh. "We are not having this conversation. Absolutely not."

His dad put a hand on his mom's shoulder, but that didn't stop her. "Oh, yes, we are. We have always been very open about sex, Bradley. It's nothing to be ashamed of!"

Bradley looked at her bright blue eyes before glancing at his dad. It wasn't that he was embarrassed to talk about sex with his parents even though he was well into his thirties, it was more that he wasn't sure how to defend himself right now. "This conversation is not necessary. She was being dramatic."

Carole scoffed in response. "It's not dramatic when you're letting your partner know you need something, Bradley. She's going to be your wife!"

"Yeah," Bradley barked. "And she's already getting it at least twice a day most days!"

Goose choked on his sip of tea. 

"Oh," Carole said softly, but she looked a lot calmer now as Bradley shook his head. "Well, that's good."

"Mmhmm," he hummed sarcastically with his hands planted on his hips. "I am fucking my fiancée regularly. She's plenty satisfied. She just likes being a brat. But thank you for your concern." He turned toward the kitchen, nearly forgetting what he was planning on doing in the first place. "Jesus," he grumbled as he grabbed his protein powder. "The fucking audacity."

------------------------

When you woke up the next morning, Bradley was still sound asleep, so you made your way to the kitchen to start breakfast for the four of you. The coffee was brewing, and you were collecting ingredients for some pancake batter when you froze. Half of the cake was gone. "What the fuck?" you gasped, and that's when you saw Bradley walk in. "You ate the cake."

He frowned at you. "No, I didn't."

"You did!" you accused. "It's half eaten! You ate it out of spite!"

Bradley raised one eyebrow and asked, "Are you serious right now?"

You spun when you heard Goose clear his throat, and you turned to see that Carole couldn't even look you in the eye for some reason. "Good morning," she said as she reached for a mug. "Goose has something he needs to tell you."

"I ate the cake," he said. "It was delicious. I had one piece, and then I couldn't stop eating it. And then the next thing I knew, half of it was gone."

"Oh," you replied softly. "Well, that's okay. Why don't we just finish the cake for breakfast?"

"That sounds lovely," Carole replied, barely meeting your eyes. 

You took a deep breath and turned toward Bradley. "I'm sorry, Roo. You can have a much cake as you want, I shouldn't have told you not to eat it."

He leaned in closer and whispered, "I'll have a little slice, Sweetheart. And I'm sorry I haven't been as attentive this week as I usually am. If you want me to fuck you nearly constantly, you know I will."

"Shhh," you hissed. "Your mom is already barely looking at me right now!"

Bradley laughed as his parents took the cake and coffee into the dining room. "That's because I told her you're a needy little thing who wants me balls deep inside her all the time."

"You did what?!"

[espinosaurusrexex]

*intensely thinking of final answer*

*game show waiting music*

I think I'm going with miscommunication with Bucky.

*presses button to log it in*

*game show celebration music* congratulations! You have a Bingo!!! 💗 This was fun. I'm hoping it counts as Miscommunication because, technically, it's only one-sided. But I loved it so much I had to write it. Anyway - enjoy! 🥰

summary 'cause it's a little longer: You’re the new recruit with mind-controlling abilities and Bucky hates it. But after avoiding you for a while and being responsible for several dangerous situations because of it, Bucky is asked to resolve his issues with you. He’s not amused, but amazing things can happen when people are trapped in elevators and it makes Bucky realize that, maybe, you’re not as awful as he thought.

Miscommunication (Bingo Game)

!BINGO ASKS CLOSED!

BuckyBarnes x Enhanced!Female!Reader

word count: 3.3k

warnings: enemies to friends (for now?), grumpy!Bucky, angst, swearing, sassy reader, arguing, and me trying to be funny

“Can you make people cry?”

“Sometimes.”

“What about making them dance real good.” Another man chimed in. You remembered him introducing himself as ‘The Falcon’.

“Depends.”

“On what?”

“Are you a good dancer?” You smirked. 

“Is that a challenge?” He raised his eyebrows. 

“What about farts, can you make people fart,” The ant guy asked with enthusiasm. 

“I... I haven’t tried that yet.”

“Well, it would be a great prank.”

“I guess?” It wasn’t the weirdest thing you’d been asked before - you’d never forget that day your niece brought you to school for your magic talent... kindergartners asked the most unexpected questions. But hearing them from an adult was still a little unusual. 

“So you can just make people do things?” The youngest of the group asked.

“Pretty much.”

“How?”

“It’s hard to explain.”

His eyes lit up. “Woah, so you could make Mr. Falcon go and get me a bowl of popcorn right now?”

“Careful, spider boy.” The man - Sam, you believed - warned. 

“I could, yes.”

“I’ve never had this much power!” Peter rubbed his hands with a bright smile - his name was easy to remember with all the questions he fired at you.

“You still don’t, kid. Keep it down a little will ya?” The goatee man tapped his shoulder with the twitch of his brow. 

“Oh, yes Mr. Stark. Sorry, Mr. Stark.”

“Tony,” he corrected.

“Right. Mr. Tony, sir.”

You’d been here for thirty minutes and everyone was all over you. You didn’t mind, really. On the contrary, you enjoyed that the people you would work with were actually interested. Well, all except for one. It didn’t go past you that one person had been watching you from the corner the whole time, not losing a word, simply staring ahead broodily with his arms crossed 

“Alright, everyone,” Tony clapped once, “last question. I still have to show the rookie the rest of the compound.”

“Oh me, me, me!!!” Peter raised his hand and almost picked Tony’s nose.

“Barnes, do you have anything? You’ve been awfully quiet.”

“I don’t need to know shit, Stark.” The brunette pushed himself off the wall, revealing a couple more inches to his height you had not noticed before. 

“Don’t be rude, Mr. Barnes,” Peter pouted; he seemed to be adoring you already. 

“I’m not rude. It’s just a stupid power that no one needs. It’s fucking dangerous and shouldn’t be part of the Avengers,” he exclaimed and proceeded to leave the room, making you feel a little sad and the rest of the team look baffled. 

“Well... okay.” Tony turned to you, rolling his eyes as Peter’s desperate noises reached his ears again. “What’s your question, Peter?”

“Miss, I don���t think your power is stupid. It’s super mega awesome and I seriously wish I could tell Flash about it, he would be so jealous!” You laughed. 

“The question, kid.”

“Oh, yes... can you make animals talk?”

-❁-

That had been about four weeks ago, and Bucky had been avoiding you ever since. He had heard what you could do the first day you got introduced, and thanks to Peter he had more than enough knowledge about how vastly your power reached. 

Mind control. That was the fucking last thing they needed on the team. How fucking ridiculous. Bucky didn’t want to have anything to do with it, or you for that matter. It was enough that Wanda had the ability to read minds, he didn’t need someone controlling them on top of it. 

So Bucky didn’t like you or your power or the danger that came with it, and he put a huge amount of effort into showing you his disdain. When you entered the room, he stood to leave. When you were assigned on a mission together, he tried to switch with someone else - earning him weeks worth of laundry duty for Sam and dishwashing chores for Nat - but that was worth it. And when he wasn’t able to, he communicated with you as little as possible, earning a couple of scoldings from Stark and Fury for not warning you of threats in time - but really, nothing bad ever happened, so Bucky didn’t know what the problem was.

And soon, much to Bucky’s relief, you started reciprocating the hostile behavior he displayed toward you on a daily basis.

Constant bickering, dangerous situations, and death stares were your new M.O. but Bucky knew it only meant for you to finally back off. Because you had tried to be nice to him in the beginning, and Bucky felt a little bad for making you sad, but it was nothing to how sorry he would be if he ever let you in. 

A gunshot sounded through the crackly speaker.

“Fuck!”

Followed by a round of grunts and hits of which a fair amount landed in Bucky’s ribs and face.

“Oh right, there’s a hostile headed your way. Sorry, must’ve slipped my mind. I’m a little ‘careless’ at times.”

Yep, that one had hurt. But he’d rather pack a punch than retract his comment about your being careless. Because that’s what you were - or rather your ability. Careless and dangerous.

Bucky watched as Steve crossed his arms after pausing the recording, his captain stare in full force as he watched his best friend lean back in his chair unimpressed.

“Buck, you know I don’t want to do this but it's also my job to make sure my team is conducting missions safely. So, what’s wrong? You don’t usually act this way - even with people you don’t like - so don’t even try.”

Bucky just huffed, crossing his arms as well. He didn’t feel the need to respond. This was ridiculous; everyone should see how dangerous you were.

“You got a chance to solve this the easy way here. Help me out a little, pal. If you don’t cooperate, I need to apply official protocol. So tell me, please, what’s the problem?” Steve’s eyebrows were raised in anticipation, but Bucky was too sulky to help. To hell with this ‘I’m your friend-‘crap - he should go ahead and apply official protocol, maybe they’d see that your ability alone probably violated six paragraphs of the Avengers’ Oath. 

He bit his tongue before losing another comment swirling in his head, looking out the window to distract himself from the unfortunate situation he found himself in. Bucky hated when Steve became all professional with him. It was stupid. 

“You’re putting yourself and the team in danger,” Steve tried again, “there must be a reason for your behaving like this. Let me fix it. Let me help-” 

“I don’t need fixing!” Bucky snapped, his eyes finding Steve’s in a heartbeat as he leaned forward in his chair. 

“Then what is it? Do you like her? Is that why you're being so...” The blonde’s hand flailed in the air as he tried to find the words to describe Bucky’s behavior. 

“Fuck no.” He leaned back again. 

“Language,” Steve warned, only to earn a side eye from his friend. 

Bucky knew exactly why he avoided you. And so should Steve. He was his best friend for fuck’s sake. This was the most unnecessary conversation he’s ever had. If anything, Steve should have his back and not try to ‘fix him’.

“You should talk to her.”

“Funny.”

“I’m being serious. What’s the issue?”

“You know damn well what the issue is, Steve!” Bucky rose from his chair but Steve didn't flinch. He merely scolded him for his cursing again. 

But after a minute of blank staring at each other, Steve broke the silence again. “You’re scared.”

And Bucky exhaled a long breath before training his eyes on the ceiling. “Of course I’m scared, Steve! There is nothing worse than not being in control.” He looked at him. “Im gonna hurt people. I have before. And being close to her... It just makes the possibility of the winter soldier returning a lot more likely.”

“She wouldn’t do that.”

“You don’t know that. She’s had no training; it could happen accidentally.

Steve was quiet for a while, just looking at his friend, assessing his comment. Bucky could see the wheels turning behind his eyes and after a while, he just stared out the window again until the blonde would present another righteous monologue to him. 

“You should tell her,” Steve finally said and Bucky wondered why it had taken him so long to come up with a sentence he’d already said. 

“I don’t need to tell her shit. Just keep her away from me.” He rolled his eyes, but he was desperate at this point. Bucky just wanted to go - leave and stop being bothered by everyone. 

Steve just shook his head in defeat - Bucky had done it again. Successfully shaken the unavoidable for today. He smiled to himself as he turned to leave the conference room. But before he could reach the last chair on his way, Steve held him back one last time.

“She’s a very nice person, you know? And your attitude towards her is affecting everyone on the team. Maybe, if you could look past your issues with her... You’d see how nicely she fits in with us.” Steve cocked his head to the side with a small smile. “I’m sure you’d get along if you just took the time to get to know her...”

But Bucky only replied with a bitter ‘shut up, punk’ before averting his eyes again. He didn’t like this at all. 

Steve sighed. “Just promise me you’ll do something.”

Bucky shot him one last look before turning and leaving without another response. 

-❁-

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.” Bucky looked at you through hooded eyelids upon your entering the elevator. 

You just ignored him. You had tried to be nice long enough, tried to make him your friend one too many times, each one teaching you just how vain the attempt had been. Because if you had learned one thing about Bucky Barnes over the past month, it was that he hated your guts and that he was not willing to try and be civil with you. So, you saw no reason to be nice anymore. 

“Don’t act like it's my pleasure either.” You turned and faced the door after pushing the buttons to your floor. 

Bucky just huffed behind you and you held your head a little higher, trying to let the seconds pass until you could leave again. It’s only an elevator ride - how hard could it be? But time seemed to pass slower than usual, and the unsteady rattling of the glass chamber going up the tower made the whole ordeal that much more unpleasant. 

That was until it suddenly stopped, a screeching sound echoing through the small space until the elevator halted abruptly, making you lose your balance for a brief moment. 

“What the-“ you muttered and pressed the floor button another time. Then again. And again. But nothing happened.  

You tried the emergency call button, but again, nothing. You were stuck. Several hundred feet in the air with Bucky Barnes. Great.

You took a deep breath, there were worse things, you tried to calm yourself, but upon stealing a glance over your shoulder, only to see Bucky glaring at you, that attempt disintegrated. Still, you chose to ignore him. You’d get out of here eventually. Someone would notice you were missing and look for you, check the security cameras, maybe - do something and finally break open these damn elevator doors. 

But then Bucky began to shuffle behind you, his steps clicking on the tiled floor of the lift, and uneven pace interrupted by the confines of the small room and it agitated you. It was enough you were stuck in an elevator when you had work to do. Now you couldn’t even concentrate. 

“Would you stop pacing?” You finally snapped and turned around only to see Bucky staring at you with wide eyes.

But he caught himself quickly. “What’s it matter to you?”

“It’s annoying. And as much as I hate to be stuck in here with you, we need to find a way not to kill each other until someone comes to help.” You turned back around taking another deep breath and enjoying the silence.

It didn’t last long though because the shuffling picked back up again soon. You waited another minute, but when Bucky made even more noise, a thudding sound coming from behind, you whipped around again to yell at him. 

But you stopped in your tracks as you saw him kneeling on the floor, his head tugged beneath his arms as his shoulder heaved rapidly. 

“Wha-“You moved forward to help but-

“Stay away from me!” He spat with fire in his eyes and then his head was back between his knees. 

You took a step back and assessed the situation. The posture, the heavy breathing, the slight shudder in his hands, the constant rocking. He was scared. He was having a panic attack. 

And as much as you wanted to avoid him, you were not cruel. When someone needed help, you helped. “Bucky-“ 

“I said stay the fuck away!” He crawled back into the corner.

You held your hands up in surrender, carefully trying to speak again. “I just want to help-“

“Well, I don’t need your help. Just back off!” The elevator shook with the boom of his voice, making your breath hitch. 

That was it, the last straw. All the pent-up anger of the past weeks bubbled to the surface, desperation and cluelessness balling up in frustration. You could barely feel it crawl up your body before you opened your mouth and screamed back. “What's your problem Bucky? I want you to feel better! What did I do that makes you hate me so much?!”

Your chest heaved in anger, your hands balling into fists as you watched Bucky get up slowly - eyes darker than you’d ever seen before. His arm whirred but he didn’t move it. He merely stepped a little closer to you, towering over you when his husky voice mumbled into the space between you. 

“I don’t hate you.” You swallowed and stared up at him, he was intimidating. “I’m fucking scared to lose control and-“ his vibranium arm shot up towards you but you stopped it in its tracks. Bucky’s fist was hanging in the air above you, your power holding him off and it took a fair amount of strength to do so. His eyes shot from his fist back to you, jaw tensing. 

“I would never do that.”

“You’re telling me I’m irrational?” He hinted towards his arm still held back by your control and you immediately let it fall back to his side. “...that it couldn’t happen by accident?”

“You underestimate me, Bucky.” You pressed with spite, willing him back a step to leave you space to breathe again. 

“I don't know you.”

“And who’s fault is that?” That shut him up. 

Bucky flexed his vibranium fingers, testing his own control again before his eyes found you again. 

“Let me show you.” You tried softly. Maybe this was the gateway to a start-over. At least now you knew the issue, now there was only solving it left. 

Bucky looked at you questioningly.

“Let me show you why you don’t need to be scared.” You smiled and somehow it softened the tension around you. 

Bucky’s shoulders relaxed when he stood up straighter. “And why would I want that?” He was stubborn.

“I’m offering an olive branch here. And after all that you have pulled, I suggest taking it. Because I cannot guarantee I’ll feel this nice again if you don’t.”

Bucky watched you carefully for a moment. As if he was trying to detect a joke in your statement, he analyzed every inch of your body suspiciously. And then after another minute, he sighed in defeat. 

“Then we need to get out of here.”

-❁-

Bucky was still a little wary now that you had dragged him outside. The sun was shining in the bright blue sky but having you stand so close to him was still making him nervous. He had no idea what he had just signed up for. 

There were a few people outside as well, all going about their days and when he turned his head to you, he noticed you watching them intently. 

“I can feel their energy,” you stated, making Bucky check if anyone was behaving as though he was influenced by you in any way - they weren’t. 

“And, yes, I can make living beings succumb to my will, but when I do, I feel their pain, their mental wars...” You looked at him and Bucky could feel your eyes pushing through to his deepest fears. “I wouldn’t make them do anything I wouldn’t want to endure myself... unless, of course... it’s necessary.”

Bucky thought back to a mission a while back. You had been utilized to make a hostile talk using rather unorthodox strategies. This time you actually had to hold them in place - position their limbs in places they shouldn’t be. He closed his eyes when he remembered your death cries. They had been hunting him for days. But other than you, the hostile had been killed. 

“You’re mentally linking with them,” he whispered almost ashamed for not noticing it earlier. Everyone on the team probably knew it already - he had just never taken the time to listen. 

“Yes.” He swallowed thickly, watching as you turned to him fully and he mirrored your action.

“If I were to make you- if I..,” you trailed off, took a deep breath, and shook your head. “I wouldn’t do that.”

And that’s when Bucky finally understood. All this time he had avoided you, fought with you, and despised you for thinking you’d be cruel for fun. He felt awful.

Your name slipped from his lips for the first time, calling your attention to his sorrowful eyes. “I’m so sorry.”

You nodded. “It’s okay. I understand it’s scary. I was scared of it, too, when I first found out... But I had a lot of time to learn. And now... I actually know how to utilize my power - control it. It even has some perks.”

Bucky’s eyebrows raised intrigued. A silent question to which you only responded by carefully reaching your hand out so his flesh one. 

“Can I?” You asked before actually taking it and Bucky just nodded while watching you carefully.  

He felt a lot calmer than he had before. And when you finally touched his calloused fingers, there was no urge to pull away like there had always been. You smiled at him and then nodded up to the sky, urging him to follow your stare.

“Look,” you whispered, and then Bucky felt his spine tingle. All of a sudden, it felt like his feet were lifted off the ground - smooth and subtle - almost comforting, he was engulfed by the feeling of floating - no - flying. 

His eyes followed the birds in the sky, which were now rounding effortless constellations several feet above his head and Bucky just knew that they were feeling the same - exactly the same. It was amazing, and even though it was a little strange and scary, your hand holding his made him feel unusually safe.

After a while, Bucky felt the feeling subside, the birds in the sky stopped flying above him and continues their journey east again. Your hand left his but he still felt lighter than he had ever before. 

His smile found you. “That’s actually pretty amazing,” he beamed before looking at the birds passing him and then back to you again. 

“Yeah... it is.” You smiled as well and Bucky felt all his doubts about you float away with the feeling this extraordinary experience had brought him.

Maybe mind control wasn’t as ridiculous and careless as he had thought it to be...

if you liked this fic, please tell me - it means so much 💓

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[mxssingmemories]

I Think I’m Finally Clean

Pairings: Aaron Hotch x daughterfigure!reader, Derek Morgan x daughterfigure!reader, Spencer Reid x daughterfigure!reader, Penelope Garcia x daughterfigure!reader

Warnings: GRAPHIC description of self-harm, lots of crying, reader gets better I swear

Summary: You work at the BAU and you've been having a rough time. You fall into old habits, but the team is there for you. This follows the road to recovery! Set in season 1.

A/N: this got a little too real, too fast, so i apologize if the writing is a little sloppy. this hit home for me. please take care of yourself-if you feel like this will trigger you, please don't read it. my dms are always open.

Also, I promise I'm working on the requests-this was just 3/4 finished :)

Word Count: 2.4k!

You'd been having a shit day. Everyone in the office knew this and were on the lookout, but Hotch was more concerned than he normally would've been. He was trained to not show too much emotion on the outside, but he'd taken you under his wing for a reason. He tended to watch your behavior more often than he did the others. This, in turn, meant that he almost always knew when something was up with you.

This day was particularly bad, he observed. You'd been down all day, your usually smiling face either looking down or with a frown on it. You didn't seem happy at all, which was strange for everyone on the team—Hotch, especially. He knew you had mental health issues in the past, but there was always a way for him to cheer you up. Today, however, nothing worked. He'd given you a few hugs, which he knew you loved; Derek had been extra caring with you today; hell, Garcia had even brought you cupcakes! No matter how hard the team tried, they couldn't wipe the frown off your face. They spent all day worrying about you, and it didn't help when you disappeared to the bathroom for thirty minutes. After ten, everyone was anxious—Hotch was practically pacing, Spencer and Derek were sending worried looks towards the door you exited out of.

Of course, the team knew as much of your history as Hotch did- it was one of the first things they'd found out about in your file. Honestly, after being on the team for four years (and, of course, being the baby), they knew you better than you knew yourself. Spencer, Derek, Garcia, and mostly Hotch did their best to take on a family role for you. It was evident in the way they acted around you that they cared, and you wouldn't change a thing about it. Their gentle touches, reassurances, and comfort—it was all more than you thought you'd have when you got kicked out and started training for this.

As the time passed, they got more and more worried. Everyone was tense. The case that they'd been previously "working on" lay untouched on the table, multiple pairs of eyes staring at the door to the restroom. They were waiting, watching, and hoping for you to come back into the break room before they had to intervene. Hotch had a theory in the back of his mind about what had happened, but he kept pushing it back. It wasn't possible, right? It had been two years since you'd-Nope. No. He cut himself off right there. Worrying too much was only going to make the situation worse.

The atmosphere in the room got more and more tense, the silence stretching on for what felt like hours. There was a silent debate going on about how long they could wait until they burst into the bathroom. A minute later, Hotch stood up abruptly, walking briskly to the restroom door. Derek and Penelope tried to get up to follow, but Spencer stopped them with a shake of his head.

"Hey, Y/N, you okay in here?" Hotch knocked, pushing on the door lightly when he heard a small whimper instead of an answer.

"I'm coming in, kiddo," he quietly said, pushing open the door. He shut it behind him, taking a deep breath before turning around to face you.

To put it shortly, there was blood everywhere around your arms—obviously, self-made cuts were fresh and bleeding moderately heavily.

"Fuck, sweetheart, what happened?" Hotch whispered."I-I don't know. I couldn't help it, it won't happen again, I swear-" You tried to reassure, breaking down into tears before you could finish the sentence. Hotch immediately gathered you into his arms, his parental nature showing through.

"Shh, it's okay, honey; you're going to be okay," he reassured, rocking you back and forth. He put your fingers on his wrist, allowing you to feel his pulse point. Strangely, it helped you calm down.

When you started to breathe a little easier, he pulled back. Pressing his forehead against yours, he brushed some of the tears off of your face, using his sleeve to wipe some snot under your nose. You both stayed like that until you stopped crying, the situation at hand temporarily forgotten as he held you.

"Okay, Y/N/N," he said softly, pulling back a little bit. "I'm going to get the first aid kit. It's right under here, sweetheart." You nodded at his statement, signaling that it was okay for him to detach himself from you.

He grabbed the first aid box out from under the cabinet, pulling out the alcohol wipes, bandages, and gauze.

"This is going to hurt," he warned you, unwrapping the gauze and sterilizing the wounds on your arm. You winced slightly, even though he was being as gentle as he possibly could. He tossed the wipe in the garbage can, pulling out the gauze and bandages next.

"You know we're going to have to do something about this, right?" His question made you tear up again.

"Can we do it tomorrow?" you asked, burying your face in his shoulder. You felt him nod and continue to apply the bandages. He finished rather quickly, and it was time to face your teammates once again. You were very hesitant—you had no idea how they'd react.

"Can we stay here for a minute?" you asked quietly, your voice dropping its volume. Hotch nodded, and he let you climb into his arms once again. He did his best to be careful of your wounds. They were bandaged, sure, but he hated the thought of you in pain at all. He hated the thought of him being the one to cause it even more.

As you moved to walk out the door, he stopped you. He was holding his jacket out to you.

"Just in case," he smiled, opening the door. His hand wrapped around your shoulders in a comforting manner, and his face shot down any questions about what had happened. He led you to the couch on the other side of the room and laid you down as quietly as he could.

"If you need me, call me, okay? I'll be right over there, with Spence and Morgan." He reassured you, planting a quick kiss on your temple. You silently let your eyes close, the stress of the past hour catching up with you.

You awoke thirty minutes later to the sound of chatter in the other corner of the room, a small smile making its way onto your face when you realized Derek was fake flirting with Penelope again. You forced yourself to get up and walk over to your desk. Everyone's eyes immediately turned to you.

"Y'alright, kiddo?" Derek asked, making eye contact with you. You nodded at him, not trusting yourself to speak right then. Your head dipped down as you focused on the paper in front of you—yet another unsub you were trying to track down. He was a bit confused by your lack of response, but with a look from Hotch, he decided to let it go. That didn't stop all eyes from being on you as you worked on your paperwork, though. When it became clear you weren't going to say anything, they all did their best to turn their attention away from you.

Eventually, your sleeve rode up. It exposed the wide bandage on your arm, along with a few cuts that were peeking out. You hadn't noticed yet. Derek, however, definitely did. His eyes widened immediately, almost choking on the coffee he was drinking. The chair squeaked loudly on the floor as he stood up abruptly. Concern covered his face, eyebrows tight, and body tense. He gently grabbed your shoulder and led you into Hotch's office, despite the loud concerns from everyone. The minute the door closed, he pulled you into a tight hug. Realization crossed your face, and you started sobbing into his shoulder for the second time that day. He only held you tighter, his head resting on top of yours. The room was silent except for the occasional loud sob from you.

"Please tell me if you ever feel like doing that again. Please, kid. I can't let you go through that again," he pleaded, breaking the silence. You nodded and fell back onto his shoulder.

He eventually picked you up and brought you over to the couch, letting you lay down on top of him. You wrapped your body around him, desperate for the comfort this gave you.

Derek stayed with you like that until the door opened softly, Spencer and Hotch walking in.

"Hey, sweetheart," Spencer said softly, walking over to the couch quietly. "Pen's on the way with a soft blanket, m'kay?" He sat down beside you two, Hotch following suit. The second they got settled, Penelope walked in with the promised blanket in hand. She laid the blue fleece blanket on top of all of you, then sat down herself. It took a minute for you to adjust—four bodies on a couch meant for three was a lot—but you eventually got settled.

You ended up with your feet in Penelope's lap, your head in Spencer's, and Derek and Hotch holding the rest of you. Derek was rubbing your back, and Spencer was playing with your hair. All of the negative thoughts from the day went away as you were surrounded by the love of the people you cared about most. You knew you were going to be okay, though—you had your people with you.

----------------------------------------

You walked into the room all smiles, happier than you've been in months. Everyone noticed, and boy did they love it.

"What's got ya smilin', sugar?" Derek teased, hopping out of his desk chair to give you a quick hug.

"Can we get everyone in here, please?" You asked him, smiling even wider. He nodded quickly, gathering Hotch, Penelope, and Spencer. They all stood facing you, and you were practically shaking with excitement.

"I'm one year clean!" You shouted, and the minute you said that, they all gathered around you in a group hug.

"Shit yeah! I knew you could do it, angel!" Derek laughed, pulling you into his arms and lifting you up, spinning you around. Spencer and Hotch did the same, laughter ringing around the bullpen loudly.

"Can we have a party? Can we PLEASE have a party?" Penelope yelled, grinning from ear to ear.

"It's not worth a party, though," you tried to argue, but Spencer immediately put a finger to your lips as Hotch spoke.

"Garcia, if you can get everything..you need?" He trailed off, not sure how to phrase it. "In thirty minutes, we can do a party." His words were accompanied by a resounding cheer from everyone, which brought back the grin on your face.

"Alright, alright," you said, feigning annoyance. The smile on your face betrayed you, though.

Penelope walked in the door thirty minutes later. White bags were hidden behind her back as she walked discreetly to the break room. You were held captive in Hotch's office by Reid and the other men were sent outside to "assist in the festivities." You sat there talking to Spencer for about ten minutes before the men-boys, apparently, burst into the room and dragged you to the break room.

The table was decked out in a purple party cloth, with four plates in spots for everyone. The lighting was dim, and blinds over windows were pulled shut. Cupcakes were being sat out on the table for everyone to choose from, and your favorite soda was sitting by each person's plate.

"Pen, this is too much," you smiled, grateful tears in your eyes. She whined and pulled you into her side.

"No tears on your big day!"

She led you to your chair of choice, and Hotch pulled out the chair for you, planting a kiss on your forehead as he did so. Penelope placed cupcakes on everyone's plates, putting a bright blue candle on yours.

"So I know I have a few things I wanna say; does anyone else?" She asked, and when everyone's hands shot up, she positively beamed.

"Hotch, you can go second, then Derek, then Reid," she decided, pointing her fingers at everyone.

"I just want to let you know how happy I am for you. I know what your brain is thinking right now—you don't think you deserve any of this. Well, news flash—you do. You deserve everything right here and more, and I am so, so elated that I got to help and see you get better. I love you, kiddo!" She smiled, effectively ending her speech by sitting down and taking a drink of her soda.

"My turn," Hotch began. "It has been such a pleasure to know you, Y/N. It was terrifying to walk in on what I did that day, but to see you come so far..? It's something I've been hoping to see for so long. I am so proud of you, and things will get better from here," he said, sitting down with tears in his eyes.

"Hey, sweetheart," Derek smiled, making eye contact with you. " You know that this is absolutely amazing, right? You're such an inspiration to everyone on the team, and you impress me every day. The fact you made it this far says a lot about you and your character, and it reminds me every day how lucky I am to know you. I never stop thinking about you—you're like my kid, y'know? I am so proud of you. What I said that day still goes no matter what happens." he said, wrapping his arm around your shoulder as Reid stood up.

"Y/N. I've known since the day I met you that things would be tough. You know what you've shown me, though? No matter how hard things get, a person can always push through. You are such an awesome person, and you've taught me so much—which is more than I can say for most of the people in this room," he joked, causing you to laugh through your tears.

"We love you, kid." Hotch reassured you, everyone finding a way to hug you in the semi-crowded room. The pressure grounded you, and you pulled away a minute later.

Penelope lit the candle, and cheers were heard from the whole BAU as you blew it out. You were more content than you'd ever been in your whole life that day. Being surrounded by all the love and support made that day one of your happiest memories, and you wouldn't trade your crazy family for the world.

[tarysande]

ADHD

I had ADHD for over thirty years before it was diagnosed, and part of the reason why it took so long is because a few specific things absolutely did not resonate with me. At all. And I saw them listed as "symptoms" of ADHD ALL THE TIME.

So, I thought I'd write up a quick list in case it helps someone else out there see past the stereotypes that are too often used as diagnostics.

ADHDers struggle with reading/words/speech etc.

ADHDers have a history of poor grades or attention at school.

ADHDers have a history of drug and/or alcohol abuse.

ADHDers can't sit still.

And how did I differ?

I read constantly. In fact, one might say I HYPERFOCUS on reading. I would rather read information than listen to it. (Reason #1 that I just can't get into podcasts!) The problem has never been reading--it's stopping reading. I'm a professional writer and editor with a background in acting. Words have never been a problem. Do some ADHDers struggle with words? Hell, yeah. Do ALL ADHDers struggle with words? Nope. Not even close. (PS: A lot of ADHDers who struggle with words may actually also have other learning struggles, such as dyslexia. ADHD loooooves a comorbidity!)

This is still SUCH a persistent myth. Even the psychologist who diagnosed me was hesitant because I had stellar grades all through my education. The more research they do, however, the more they realize that other things (autism, giftedness, etc.) can actually mask or mitigate the "typical" symptoms of ADHD that lead to it being diagnosed at school. And if you're an ADHDer who, say, hyperfocuses on learning (because it's cool! and you learn new things all the time!), or who has developed extremely effective coping mechanisms (perfectionism, people-pleasing, etc.), or who deliberately sticks to "safe" subjects to avoid challenge and possible failure, grades are NOT a good measure of ADHD. (Look into what it means to be "twice exceptional"--you may find a list of traits that resonates a lot more!)

ADHDers are out there looking for anything that'll give them a dopamine hit. Boredom is deadly. And the mix of novelty-seeking and low inhibition can often result in risky behavior. However, this can manifest in many, many ways. Drugs, alcohol, sexual partners? None of that was relevant to me. Spending, however? Especially spending money I didn't have on things I didn't need just to feel that itty bitty thrill of OOH SOMETHING NEW! ... yeah, that was a real problem. But not one I usually saw on those symptom lists, even though ADHD+finances can result in HUGE and life-altering problems.

Even bearing in mind that there are different presentations of ADHD--and that inattentive is one of them--ADHD does NOT always present as physical restlessness. Often, mental restlessness--racing thoughts, daydreaming, distractability, inability to "turn off your brain" to get enough sleep--slips through the diagnostic cracks and can be FAR more disruptive to one's health and happiness. And, again, many ADHDers develop coping mechanisms that can end up being very unhealthy or unsustainable in the long term. (I keep my ADHD in my thumb, for example. I can be perfectly still for a long, long time. However, my right thumb fidgets almost constantly. It's weird. Now that I've noticed it, I can't unsee it.)

I guess what I'm saying is ... nothing is set in stone where ADHD is concerned, so don't be afraid to dig deeper, especially if some aspects hit hard. Exploration is a good thing. Questioning is a good thing.