#i'm gonna talk in tags because like. ough

[beeholyshit]

I'm so crazy right now, someone help me

[triple-a-daybreak]

me at the start of rui's bloomfes side story: oh these are kinda continuations of the colorfes stories to an extent :) that's cool i like that they're connected and that the colorfes stories are being referenced again :) i'm gonna watch rui's bc his bloomfes card is my favorite so far :)

me after rui's bloomfes side story: if all of these are gonna be inner child work then what if i uh. what if i uhhhh. explode

honestly rui being like "wonderlands x showtime is my miracle because of the loneliness we (as in him and his younger selves) experienced and i have never forgotten you"???? i'm not even gonna get into how that makes me feel don't even look at me

also all of the photos from childhood and middle school being cracked is like. a little too relatable for me but in a way that i don't really want to talk about in the project sekai and rui kamishiro tags

also shoutout to rui's middle school self being like "yeah i'm here too. i don't really feel one way or another i just thought this would be interesting to watch tbh" and rui being like "he's just like me fr" because when he's not actively helping he is, in fact, just observing and seeing how things unfold as someone solves their problem by themselves. I didn't even make that connection when i first read it i just really liked that part. in retrospect though middle school rui's apparent disinterest and disconnect from what's going on between young rui and hs rui. kind of hurts in its own way. BUT LET'S NOT WORRY ABOUT THAT

(hey. future shade here. i lied. let's worry about that)

like god damn i just thought the card was pretty because the trained is like. look at this.

probably genuinely my favorite card of his.

but now with the extra context that untrained hits like ten times harder

also looking at the background pictures is. ough. and the fact that he's looking at the group photo from pandemonium AAAAGGHHH DON'T EVEN TALK TO ME

i know this came out like two months ago now let me live i was still getting over the salt of getting bloomfes rin twice instead of bloomfes rui and just barely not being able to spark for him and THEN forgetting to buy the lim gacha sticker vouchers before the exchange period ended okay leave me alone (/silly)

[elderwisp]

My 𝐓𝐨𝐩 24 𝐒𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐭𝐬 from 2024 ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

I was tagged by @mikachusblog @aurorangen and @moonwoodhollow however I put together a recap earlier this month! Instead I'll pick about ten story moments I enjoyed from this year under the cut as well as a very special screenshot. I did want to make sure I tagged some people as well! :D

I tag: @acidheaddd @likelyamused @pink-chevalier @changingplumbob @salemssimblr

@matchalovertrait @lre333 @swiftviolets @sirianasims @lynzishell

1. January 8th: Kai shares a secret

⋆ This was a really fun flashback scene! We got to see Kai, Frances, Dan and Atlas in the earlier years of high school as well as learn that Kai has romantic feelings towards Atlas, who happens to be his first kiss! This is also where his arc officially begins in my mind!

2. March 6th: Taryn's skepticism

⋆ I remember being so proud of this scene because it was one of the first scenes I fully posed the conversation. I really enjoyed of Atlas and Taryn's mannerisms peaked through. I think this conversation while it focuses on a different subject, the nature of it shows their personalities. Taryn struggling with self confidence while Atlas's facade starts to unveil just a bit.

3. March 12th: Frances's solo

⋆ I was really proud of these poses as well as the shots. The shots of Icarus and Frances while romantic do say a lot about how each views each other. Your greatest heartbreak being how Frances feels and the deepest regret being how Icarus feels. For the cello poses, I did reference through watching performances but also real life so it was neat combining the two. I am excited for Frances's future in De Sol Valley especially when new faces are introduced to the cast. It might be similar to Atlas's prologue where Frances is the focus but just in a shorter interval.

4. March 9th: A rose and it's bumblebee

⋆ March was a good month. Maybe not for the characters, but a good month creatively for me ! I'm gonna sound so toxic but I love the tension between these two so much like hold out a bit longer please JUSTKIDDINGPFFTorami? anyways structuring taryn's monologue came out of order. the frames where she says "A stubbed toe. A scraped knee. A fall." came first. Everything else was built around those three sentences. The scene following that was fun to put together because Atlas really does struggle to apologize and take ownership over his fuck up that he tries to smooth things over by being charming but Taryn, getting more comfortable, shows her newfound skill of setting boundaries (courtesy of Atlas LMAO) and calls him out on the bullshit.

5. August 9th: Theo's official introduction

⋆ Much of Theo's life is hush hush as following after the WR arc we dive more into their lives but I do want to talk more about them. I liked following their life throughout the day and the general reclusiveness they have in a new city. Their only friend at the time is Gabriel and with no goals of going back to their old life, the only way forward is through. I will say, something about the city has a way of helping people find themselves.

6. August 8th: Of course I had to freaking include this scene

⋆ Gonna be so real right now but I was terrified to post this. Terrified. We see the chaos of Atlas's vices revealing a very important detail, one Rowan reminded us all and that is, Atlas seeks out trouble. The most curious and pressing part is why and how does it end? Any scene with Atlas is scary for me because he leaves a lot of subtle little hints but the extent of his nature is like slowly pulling off a band aid. Are people gonna like what's underneath? I'm never really sure but I do enjoy exploring his character quite a bit.

7. September 3rd: Ojitos lindos

⋆ First, I love Jules. Dude was literally supposed to only be in the one scene and... He wiggled himself into a handful. Second, was very proud of how the dance came out, with Taryn teasing Jules and Jules chasing every second of it until the kiss. OUGH! The little fiend in me blurred out "tu y yo" in the kiss scene to sorta symbolize Taryn beginning to move on from Atlas but as we see later, that was short lived. Taryn's monologue was the easiest to write and it comes from a person struggling with the bitter emotions of heartbreak.

8. October 8th: A formal introduction to Ares's life

⋆ Little lore drop but the Langs have been longtime characters of mine. In fact, longer than everyone else. Chase, Ares's father, was a main character of a youtube series I made long ago over the summers of my school days LMAO! So to revisit and restructure them as has been... WOW ! I wanted everyone to feel like they were a plant on a shelf observing the dynamics of specifically the women in Ares's life as well as the structure of his home. It felt subtle but good :)

9. October 18th: Kai's revelation

⋆ I think I have one more scene left for Kai's arc. I specifically wanted to focus on the concepts of jealousy, cognitive dissonance and religion coupled with Kai being a closeted man. I will say in the beginning, I did struggle to connect with this character. While some elements I can totally relate to, writing about it is different. Envy can be classified as an ugly feeling. It isn't palatable to most and is quickly shood away but because of that, we don't talk about it enough. So I wanted to go into this really humanizing this common emotion but not making it as some caricature of an emotion. I do love Kai's growth, I wanted to make sure he earned it and it sure feels like it.

10. November 23: The freaking arts festival

⋆ There's still like four-ish more posts to go. Those will be a bit less crash-out packed but I think it ends on a high note. There's a lot in these six posts. Some of it slightly nudging certain characters arcs, other parts deepening your knowledge of other oc's. I wanted to start out on the disappointment that Atlas faces seeing that the only person supporting him there is Daniela and how he copes in the only way he knows how. The arts festival is something he helped put together but it seems to be a reoccurring theme that any accomplishment he ever has is always overshadowed. It's always something. Each frame, every detail, to the dialogue in these two posts are intentional. The following scenes after that have some really cool conversations. I think the last post also has some unique dialogue as well but we'll pick back up on January 2nd! :)

Also a bonus! I wanted to show one of these first photos of Tessellate. It's no longer on my blog after the reboot but I wanted to show how much has changed in two years.

[abyssembraced]

mandatory talk about Glisten. You know how it is, I can't get enough about hearing about these two dhbsdbdh

Send me a Toon's name and I'll talk about my interpretation for their relationship with Vee! (Accepting!)

Oh no Honor,,, I was worried about getting relationships that I wouldn't be able to say much about, but them? Frankly they have too much to talk about agsgsfhdgfh

Just,, WAUGH, them,,, The Besties Ever. Fucking. Platonic soulmates they drive me insane and I cry about them on the regular.

I don't think I have anything to say that you don't already know (and of course, whenever I do get new Thoughts you will be the first to hear them <3), but just,,, ough the them,,,,, I'm love them,,,,,,

Eventually. I'm going to make a post compiling all the canon evidence that points to them being super close friends. Like. Way closer than you'd think at a first glance. Which is all the things you already know but Yeag. That'll be on my art blog though cuz I'll be main tagging it and releasing it into the wild. The people must KNOW the TRUTH gfgdfhdgrs. Probably gonna reblog it here too though

Hough,,,,, not gonna go into detail in this ask I think because there is just So Much to go over (and plus, again, I already plan on going over all the canon stuff later), but. I will leave this here from part of the things I'd said about our portrayals' dynamic specifically (which. Frankly. I can't imagine ever writing with a different Glisten than yours honestly <3)

...And also this. Because I still frequently lose my mind over this little canon detail that is SO easy to miss oh my GODDDDDDD

Them. 💖

[arrowsperpetualcringe]

Ough.

I really wish I never said anything about M//gram Trail 2

Because now whenever I go into the m//gram tag and see someone talking about like

"M//gram was never gonna have a happy ending"

"A//ne being voted guilty wouldn't have helped her"

"A//ne was never going to be helped by anything in M//gram"

Like I can't help but feel like it's directed towards me.

I'm not saying like. Definitively that it is.

But that's just what it feels like.

And it makes me so upset that like.

Every time I look at the tag here it feels like all I'm hearing is "remember how WRONG that one guy was? That was so wrong and stupid"

Several times

By several different people

All making the same points against what feels like my specific points.

And it just makes me upset. It makes me anxious, it makes me nauseous.

Because like on that post, people were talking respectfully, we had a conversation, and I already came to those conclusions myself.

And like

I thought

"Okay, I've changed my opinions, I'll let everyone know"

So I reblogged the original post with my updated opinions.

The posts that seemed to be referencing me didn't stop.

So I have it a post of it's own.

Still didn't stop.

And now I'm just like.

Idk

I just feel bad.

Trying to look at something you like and seeing everyone go "Remember that one take and how WRONG it was?" constantly feels bad.

Having admitted to having flawed logic and changed opinions after thinking it over and still having people post about it feels bad.

Having addressed it twice and still seeing it pop up feels bad.

And the thing is, I've looked at the tags, and I haven't seen any other posts make the "I thought this would've been good for her" argument except mines. I'm not saying for sure mines is the only one, I very well could've missed it, I'm just saying why I feel like this is so pointed towards me specifically

And like...

I already conceded

I thought it over and said I was wrong

What do you want from me?

And every time I see one of those posts

I just feel so unwelcome

Like I'm unwanted because I thought wrong.

And it hurts.

I love this series and I wanna engage with it.

But idk how to engage with it anymore because it feels like at every turn someone's saying I was wrong and that my opinion is unwelcome. Even if my name is never dropped.

That's just what it feels like

And I'm so sad

Bc Trail 3 is starting and I'M SO EXCITED FOR IT

But I just feel so unwelcome

Because I thought wrong and came to the wrong conclusions.

And the worst part is, none of this is even real.

But the feeling of being unwelcomed is very real.

At least it is for me.

[razzle-zazzle]

(Long winded anon from before) Hiccup doing a loud double take at Snoutlout being alive is gonna make me cry. these guys are such jerks to each other but man do they care deep down. hiccup's so happy that snotlout made it :') if only they had a better relationship i'm sure they'd both be able to relate to the idea that their bodies don't feel quite the same or even fully their own anymore.

(btw i love your nuanced spitelout take from the tags. i think he's really interesting both as a character and as a figure who's really messed up his son, he needs studied for how efficiently he's a bad father tbh.)

honestly the Snotlout mental breakdown my brain gave me was kinda a mess so sorry if it doesnt make sense.

but i imagine that snotlout was really raw after the heather report 1&2. first cause heather stole the scales (which even if he hates them low key they're HIS), then because he didnt even get a choice to tell everyone. their biggest enemies in the moment found out and then his five closest friends, bad order for any reveal honestly.

yeah it worked out and they got Heather and her family out of there and safe again. his friends even took the shifting thing okay but the fact that this part of himself that he feels deep shame for is out in the open feels like something that would only make him crank the obnoxious attitude to a thousand.

thus making everyone's ability to do math about his trauma ten thousand times harder. also i dont know that he'd realise that no one realised yet that he was the dragon in the arena. he'd be on pins and needles waiting for someone to mention it again making him go through it not realising that by worrying about it he was alreadying reliving it without them even mentioning it.

To me his emotional constipation was part of what made the scene in my brain so devestating, cause everyone would be talking about the events of the movie with hiccup super curious about his toothless bonding not realising that every time they talk about the arena and that 'missing strange nightmare' that its him. untill of course astrid does the math and tries to talk to about with him.

Astrid may of course also be emotionally constipated but she understands that this might be a personal thing for him. so i think she'd try to apologise for busting his hand up pretty bad only for Snotlout to brush it off agressively.

also i think fishlegs would make a dig or two about it it uninentionally. cause in rob and dob he goes through an arc where he becomes more confident but also lowkey hates snotlout for while so he probably wasnt being careful with his words, plus without knowing that snotlout was in the arena him mentioning the 'weird nightmare' he wants to study could easily sound like a threat.

to me it'd be the twins that accidentally pushed him into the semi public breakdown in front of the friendgroup. they'd make one to many jokes about his weeks 'surviving in the woods' and snotlout thinking that they are mocking him would snap. cause i think he realised how paper thin that story was too. it makes sense when you dont think about it or don't know he can shift but the second they all learned he could he probably felt like the dragon was out of the bag so to speak.

in my brain he just had this huge emotional word vomit about how none of them respect him. and how they all dont care about him and that clearly they just want the firepower for the team. not him and in general i think he'd just be shouting at them for awhile about how he feels but in the way he does in not lout where he just says stuff like 'i wont be on the streets!' without telling them AT ALL how he came to that conclusion.

OUGH AUGH OUGHHHHH I AM EATING THESE WORDS UP OW OW OUGHHHHHHHHH

Hiccup was definitely surprised! Flabbergasted, even! And also a little (kind of a lot) thrown off by how out of character Snotlout is. He definitely walks away from that interaction going "o... kay..." before refocusing on the task he originally set out to do.

(I really do think exploring Spitelout as a person is way more interesting than reducing him to "Snotlout's shitty dad". He sucks and I want him away from Snotlout but he's also still a character in his own right. and I can use that suckage to my own ends >:]]]c)

I mean, breakdowns do tend to be pretty messy, don't they?

And yeah Snotlout is SO UPSET after "The Heather Report II", yeah he kind of finally gets the hang of flying but like. Ohhhh you hit the nail on the head he is NOT having a good time! And also this is the point where he realizes that damage to his scales will hurt him!

IT DOESSSS HE GETS SO OBNOXIOUS ABOUT IT. Initially he's blustering about being fine and snapping at everyone to drop it when they try to bring up the shapeshifting, then he's bragging about how awesome it is to be a dragon even as he's angrily stuffing the scales back into a satchel. He's so so obnoxious you're right.

Hiccup recognizes that Snotlout's the small arena nightmare right away! Though immediately after stating this he asks if this is the reason why the small arena nightmare refused to do the hand trick: because Snotlout was messing with him? And Snotlout snickers because he does think it's pretty funny that every time Hiccup tried to connect with his dragon form Snotlout's outright ignored him just be a shit. Which of course derails the conversation away from the kill ring!

OUGH. AUGH. Astrid does realize that if Snotlout was the small arena nightmare, and if she broke the small arena nightmare's wing-claws, then -> she's the one who broke Snotlout's knuckles, and she does try to apologize, but Snotlout cranks up the obnoxiousness so bad because he doesn't want to really confront the memory that Astrid's bringing up. He uses her apology as an excuse to flirt and she knocks him on his ass. Neither of them learned a thing from this encounter.

Fishlegs makes less comments about Snotlout's dragonself and more general comments about how Snotlout sucks. He probably does at one point make a pointed comment about how Snotlout's "an insult to the intelligence and strength of dragons", though.

Post-reveal the twins spend a LOT of time trying to goad Snotlout into turning into a dragon for various schemes (or just because they wanna see it). This is both incredibly annoying for Snotlout AND feeds into his ego, as the twins are wont to do. And AUGH AUGHH THE TWINS MAKING JOKES ABOUT SNOTLOUT'S "TIME IN THE WOODS" OUGHHHH

OUGH AUGH. OH I CAN SEE THAT. MAYBE NOT IN RIDERS BUT DEFINITELY IN DEFENDERS I CAN SEE THIS BREAKDOWN HAPPENING. OUGHHHHHHHHHHH

[kairithemang0]

I did a little art summary going through all my favorite doodles I posted here, but I wanted to go through all my fics and see which one was my favorite from each month along with a little bit of retrospective on where I was during the month

January

This was frankly. Another shitty kh fic. Idk it felt very rushed, the conclusion felt off. One day I will come back and write more akusai tho bcs they're great

February

ok THIS. was a really good fic. Idk it's the only time I wrote Ted but I personally really like it. Plus ily putting different hatchetfield characters in timeline scenerios

March

So uh. I only wrote one fic in march. I started the saf pirate au fic then so I guess that counts for something? Either way i REALLY like this fic personally. I had written a fic (that I only posted fairly recently) that I sorta added stuff into this one with? Either way, I like this fic a lot and I think it holds up personally.

April

This fic is still good. I love their banter in it and I remember it being very fun to write.

May

This fic my BELOVED i reread it a lot. Like just ughhh it was the start of my "dma is so disgusting I love him" obsession and that's an obsession I still have. What a fucking guy

June

this ficccc ough. I wrote it at like 3am and I loved it and I still love it and it's that perfect little curtwen fantasy I always loved writing with the small thing of that because it takes place in 1958 it never happened. And that's never directly mentioned but. still. it's there.

July

i vividly remember starting this at 5am because i was talking with smy in tags and thought of this and then this happened and I still love it

August

I'm just gonna say it now. You guys didn't appreciate this fic enough. There. I said it. Bye.

September

Ily covering tracks I should draw Owen's design for this fic again some time bcs he's soooo hot <3

Ok so I've run out of ability to link things so the rest of this is going in a reblog

[mamawasatesttube]

song meme

tagged by @deadchannelradio ♥♥ ty bestie

shuffle your on repeat playlist and list the first 10 songs, then tag 10 people!

"strawberry sunscreen" by lostboycrow. i like songs that sound like summer what can i say :D

Hey little darling, run like the weekend I get lost and found in your arms Rooftop view, we met on a Wednesday Now which do you prefer? To be alone, to be in love or to just be worth it? I think you're worth it

2. "stubborn love" by the lumineers. its a classic man!!!

It's better to feel pain, than nothing at all The opposite of love's indifference

3. "across the stars"/love theme from attack of the clones. john williams. starred wars. you get it.

[instrumental/no lyrics]

4. "no place in heaven" by mika!!!!! ough!!! im not immune to songs abt religious trauma. :')

I'm down on my knees, I'm begging you, please There's no place in Heaven for someone like me Won't you open the door and try me once more? 'Cause there's no place in Heaven for someone like me

5. "beep beep" by little mix. this one is on here bc of tim car fic byeee

I blew my engine, I think I popped the stick Too busy dreaming, of jumping on your— To get me turning good, you need to check under the hood babe

6. "enterprising young men" by michael giacchino. star trek baybee!!!

[instrumental/no lyrics]

7. "you are loved" by defiance, ohio. this is a superboy (2011) song. source: dude trust me

And to this magic, we hold on I just don't want to feel its loss until it's gone It was in an eerie glow, I finally left you lonely, left the TV on If I have one regret, it's letting this whole nihilistic shit charade live on You know it scares the hell out of me when my friends think they have nobody to lean on And the radio plays a familiar song

8. "blackheart" by two steps from hell. this is on my spacefic writing playlist. i love two steps from hell

[instrumental/no lyrics]

9. "gold trans am" by kesha. this is ALSO on here because of tim car fic hgjkdshgkjhdjk

C'mon, climb into my golden cockpit! Love you 'til you're seein' stars and stripes! Burnin' rubber on the southern highway! Gonna take you for a freedom ride!

10. "why can't i" by liz phair. kon is the reason i started listening to liz phair but i shouldve been here sooner tbh!!!

Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you? Why can't I speak whenever I talk about you?

oh god now i have to think of ten people ummmm!!!

@misspickman @milfkon @loisinherlane @mysterycitrus @clarkkent-irons @lemontongues @ectonurites @jayzelnut @radioactive-earthshine and @lemonlimestar but also if anyone wants to do this feel free to say i tagged you!! :D

[the-golden-ghost]

Tagged by the esteemed @dying-suffering-french-stalkers to answer: a bunch of questions

Last song: "Slut like you" by P!nk. Why? Because it fucks

Last book: Last book I finished was Le Guin's A Wizard of Earthsea and yes it WAS my first ever delve into anything by Le Guin! Better late than never. Last book I picked up was Song of Achilles which I started a few months ago and then took a break cause it wasn't grabbing me. It's still kind of *hand wavy gesture* but it's definitely well-written and once you get past the first few chapters it moves quick

Last movie(s): JUST watched Girl Shy (1924) tonight but before that it was Scarlet Street (1945). Or (1946). It was definitely mid-40s.

Last TV show: Arcane season 2 back in November I think. I've been trying to rewatch the Twilight Zone but can't find it though I admittedly haven't been looking that hard

Last thing I Google searched: Aging Untouchable (hear me out meme reasons)

Favorite color(s): Gold/yellow, dark blue (BEST combo!!)

Sweet/savory/spicy: Hmmm I'm gonna say savory yeah though spicy CAN hit but I can only handle it in smaller amounts. Savory never gets old <3

Relationship status: *Talking Heads voice* Same as it ever was

Looking forward to: OUGH uh... huh. Naptime. My next movie foray

Current obsession: Been movie foraying since I lost my job and now have time to apparently watch every film on the face of the earth (which considering I'd seen like 2 movies prior to this year, is saying something). I've been maining film noir pretty hard though? I'm still limiting myself to Tubi for now but I have found other options to try since their selection doesn't have a lot of the really Classic(tm) "good" ones, although it has a few. Honestly though some of the B movies are really funny and surprisingly not bad. So far my list has been The Maltese Falcon (1941), The Third Man (1949), Dial M For Murder (1954), Kansas City Confidential (1952), New York Confidential (1955), Please Murder Me! (1956) The Woman in the Window (1944), Nightmare (1956), The Killing (1956), and Scarlet Street (1945). Honorable mentions to I Want to Live! (1958) which was marketed as a noir but I wouldn't really call it one, and The Lady Vanishes (1938) which I thought was a noir because I blind watched it and it turns out it wasn't, but it was good!

Tagging: YOU, reading this!

[cornley-amateur-drama-society]

@ficwip's 2024 in Review Questions Answered!

This will be long since there're 30 questions, and we all know I have a tendency to talk a lot. Fear not! The first three questions will be above the cut, and the rest under the cut, so's to save your dashes, lmao. (Also, I hate how you can't just type “1.” at the beginning of a line without having it automatically turn into a Numbered List. I'm just now realizing as I type this that I could have done “1:” but I've already done the Roman numerals now, so we're just gonna roll with it I suppose.)

|/|\/|\/|\|

I. How many fics have you worked on since January?

An embarrassing amount, let's call it. Perhaps too many for me to have to remember to be counted.

II. What’s something new that you tried in a fic this year?

Non-linear narratives. Most of the stuff I've written on my ao3 has been fairly linear with clearly defined flashbacks, but I've experimented a bit. I also tried my hand at drabbles again and have successfully done three so far, which I never thought would happen!

III. What piece of media inspired you the most? (This can be the fandom you wrote the most for, the one that spawned the most ideas, the one you thought about the most, etc.)

Unequivocally The Goes Wrong Show and its related plays Peter Pan Goes Wrong and A Christmas Carol Goes Wrong. I have not had creative brainrot this much in so long. Mischief Theatre really came up and fucking walloped me with a hockey stick and it shows.

IV. How many fandoms did you write for this year?

I wrote for a whopping twenty-five different fandoms this year! Very exciting.

[New Girl, The Blooms at Ruyi Pavilion, Derry Girls. Ready or Not (2019), Seraphina by Rachel Hartman, Miraculous Ladybug, Calvin & Hobbes, DC Comics, Pride and Prejudice, The Goes Wrong Show, Peter Pan Goes Wrong, The Witcher, Criminal Minds, Percy Jackson!verse, A Love So Beautiful, Professional Single, Mr. Bean, Wicked Little Letters (2023), Danny Phantom, Over the Garden Wall, Love O2O, Sabrina the Teenage Witch, Red One (2024), and several k-pop and c-pop groups.]

V. What ships captured your heart?

So many, oh my god. But I think the strongest ones have been Chris Bean x Vanessa Wilcock-Wynn-Carroway, Max Bennett x Vanessa, and though I didn't write anything, Ben Affleck x Matt Damon. The tag on my main blog is Full.

VI. What characters captured your heart?

Lydia Bennet, the entire cast of TGWS but esp Chris Bean and Vanessa Wilcock-Wynn-Carroway.

VII. Did you write for any new fandoms or ships this year?

Five new fandoms: The Goes Wrong Show, Peter Pan Goes Wrong, Mr. Bean, Wicked Little Letters (2023), and Red One (2024)

And so many ships, it's embarrassing if I cared.

VIII. What fic meant the most to you to write?

OUGH, what a question. I think maybe the ones I did for Calvin & Hobbes because I've adored the comic for so much of my life? I got to see some of Bill Watterson's original archived work in Columbus, Ohio at the comic book museum in the spring this year, which was fucking incredible.

IX. What fic made you feel the happiest to work on?

Oh, I loved working on the main narrative of my this peace is fragile au, If equal affection cannot be, Let the more loving one be me. I had so much fun creating the cultures of both Kingdoms, and playing around with what the Cornley characters would be like in this situation. I just loved everything about it.

X. What fic was the most satisfying to finish writing?

My Pride and Prejudice modern day AU I wrote for Whumptober 2024, Little Girl, You're in the Middle of the Ride. I really was so invested in what I was writing, and seeing it all come together at the end was so satisfying.

XI. What fic was the most difficult to write?

Oh, hands and above, the first prompt fill for Cornley Christmas Chaos. I can't even remember how many times I restarted the damn fic before throwing in the towel and just deciding to make it a drabble. Which was another added difficulty because I am so bad at keeping my thoughts short. I was successful in the end, though, and the amount of victory I felt was hilarious. (Read it here!)

XII. What fic was the easiest to write?

I think maybe When You Give a Robert A Spell Book… or The Golden Goose. I just remember banging them out in a surprisingly short amount of time.

XIII. What were your shortest and longest fics posted this year?

Longest: If equal affection cannot be, Let the more loving one be me with 11,650 words.

Shortest: Three drabbles this year. A PJO Pipeyna fic entitled a happiness not elusive; the infamous C Cubed Day One prompt fill in the blink of an eye; and a Love O2O fic entitled and i retrocede as if i was swimming, which is a friendship fic between Sīsī and Yìrán.

The difference between the shortest and longest fics are an incredible 11,550 words.

XIV. What were your go-to writing songs?

Whatever was on my Spotify On-Repeat playlist or my playlist “my emo phase pt. ii”. I wasn't super picky with the music this year.

XV. What was the hardest fic to title?

Probably my Ready or Not (2019) pre-canon into canon fic that focuses on Daniel Le Domas thinking about how he got to bleeding out on the floor towards the end of the movie. Nothing I came up with felt right for the longest time, which was annoying. I eventually settled on a dangerous, dangerous game, one that i am definitely losing.

XVI. What’s your favorite title of the year?

Oh, I can't choose just one aldjf;ds. I have a handful that I enjoyed so much.

Younger Family Members Meddling Offers Surprisingly Good Results (not clickbait)

TFW You Find Out You're Marrying Your Brother-in-Law

“Sorry” is a Five-Letter Word (and never does enough)

Hal Jordan Makes a Good Call, Bruce Wayne Found Shocked and in Disbelief

it's hard to speak with a sob in your throat

XVII. Share your favorite opening line.

It was stupid, he knew, to get distracted while one of his hands is inside a piano and the other is hitting keys.

From TFW You Tune Your Strings to the Sound of Her Voice

OR

Róng'ér watches with disbelief as her older sister once again misinterprets Bái-gē’s words and turns his invitation of a date for two to the movies that night into an invitation for their friend group to go out to the movies. Granted, “Would you like to go to the movies tonight?” is a pretty ambiguous statement on its own.

From Younger Family Members Meddling Offers Surprisingly Good Results (not clickbait)

XVIII. Share your favorite ending line.

There’s a streak of blood that almost looked like one of Mom’s arrows on the floor, by his stomach.

From a dangerous, dangerous game, one that i am definitely losing

OR

And if his solicitor couldn’t help… There is hell to pay, and Darce has always been good with money.

From Little Girl, You're in the Middle of the Ride

XIX. Share your favorite piece of dialogue.

“I don’t know,��� he said, his tone a touch defensive.  “I told him that I was fine.  He just had to stick his nose into my business.  I was only telling him to buzz off.” Hobbes gave Calvin a dry look.  “By calling him a noodle-necked, muffin-brained, straw-for-arms, nosey jerk?” “… Maybe I was a little harsh,” Calvin admitted, magnanimous in demeanor. “You should apologize,” Hobbes said, ignoring Calvin’s faux humility.

From “Sorry” is a Five-Letter Word (and never does enough)

OR

“This just doesn’t make any sense,” Trevor said, “magic doesn’t exist.  Not really.” Jonathan gave him an unimpressed stare.  “Explain why I’m a metre tall, then.”

From When You Give a Robert a Spell Book…

OR

“I know,” she said, rolling her eyes, “but you’ve only seen him in his uniform.  He’s bound to look different in, say, trackies or something.” “If you’ve set me up with a secret chav, I might genuinely push you into the Thames.” “Isn’t that how Ed Gamble says he got his diabetes?”  Kitty asked, frowning as she tried to remember what his stand-up routine was. “I’m pretty sure Jacaster or Nish said that,” Lydia corrected, silently willing the path to the ring toss to get longer rather than shorter, as it was currently wont to do. “Never getting over the fact you call him Jacaster,” Kitty giggled, doing a poor job of not looking a little moon-eyed about her celebrity crush. “Never getting over the fact that you audibly squeaked when you saw him in that one Mock the Week episode,” Lydia fired back as only little sisters can. “Oh my god, shut up, I didn’t!” “Right,” Lydia pretended to agree, “and Jimmy Carr doesn’t whiten his teeth.”

From Don't Write Yourself Off Yet

XX. Share your funniest line.

Heresy and Elsie rolled their eyes at the same time.  “That’s because you have the unfortunate taste of being into older blond men.”  Heresy snarked over her shoulder as the quartet started to ascend the stairs.

From I demand euphoria

OR

“Your coworkers aren’t as bad as I feared,” Calvin said, turning to Hal. “You haven’t met all of them,” Hal said, smirking. “You haven’t met my Dad’s coworkers.  Talk about corporate zombies.  Yeesh!”

From Hal Jordan Makes a Good Call, Bruce Wayne Found Shocked and in Disbelief

XXI. What’s something that surprised you while you were working on a fic? Did it change the story?

I think for some of them it was that the fic suddenly kept getting longer and longer and I was surprised that I had so much to say. I think that i might've changed it in some of them, giving it greater emotoinal depth, but in others I think it was probably just unecessary descriptions. Well, not unnecessary, but perhaps superfluous in some cases.

XXII. What writing programs did you use? Did you write by hand?

I used the age old, ever important to the writing process tumblr drafts, along with my computer's notes program, and google docs. I think there was one that I started in docs, finished in ao3 then posted it, and then copy-paste it to the original doc, lmao.

XXIII. If you had to choose one, what was THE most satisfying writing moment of your year?

Ohhhh... Maybe how I somehow wrote 11,650 words in one fic? It's my longest oneshot currently, and I didn't realize how much I had been writing.

XXIV. Did you do anything special to celebrate finishing a fic?

Not really. I post about it, and if I can be arsed to do it, I post the link. But for the most part, I just finish it and move on to the next thing.

XXV. How did you recharge between fics?

I got really into watching New York Ballet's videos about The Nutcracker, as well as watching a lot of British comedy stuff.

XXVI. Did you create fanworks other than fic?

I made some neko edits of several characters but nothing much other than that. One of my sideblogs orginally started out as a Danny Phantom x DC Comics crossover-specific blog, now with Over the Garden Wall and Calvin & Hobbes, and I made themed icons and headers for it.

XXVII. How many events did you take part in? (bangs, exchanges, ship weeks, zines, prompt memes, they all count!)

HHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH so many

Fictober 2024, Whumptober 2024, Cornley Christmas Chaos 2024, 76 Kisses to Valentine's Day 2024-25, Arrowed AUs (a prompt meme list I found a few years ago with little arrows as the bullet points), and Ninette Week 2024.

XXVIII. If this were an awards show, who would you thank?

Definitely my friends and mutuals that I talk to a lot since they got to be witness to my writing process of screaming about how I have no idea what I'm doing. I also owe a lot to @baobeejun who helped "Britpick" my Pride and Prejudice modern day, half-Chinese Bennet daughters AU. Anna has been witness to my nonsense going on five years this spring, and I love her dearly.

XXIX. What’s left on your to-do list for 2024?

I am behind on so many things rn LMAOOOO It's a lot of writing challenges I'd started and not finished, haha. And seeing as I'm posting this on the first day of 2025, I feel like it's very on brand for me.

XXX. What would you like to write next year?

I have the rest of the 76 Kisses left to do, as well as catching up on the other challenges I'd not finished. I do have a prompt meme which I've decided to do this summer entitled "a summer of intimacy", but I'm leaving talking about it more to the early spring!

[multimusewonderland]

SHIPPING INFO // ANSWER THE FOLLOWING FOR YOUR MUSES SO PEOPLE KNOW HOW SHIPPING WORKS ON YOUR BLOG !

(under the cut because it got long LMAO)

WHAT IS YOUR OTP FOR YOUR CHARACTER(S) ?

i don't have that many for most of them! i'm very much multiship and enjoy whatever sort of comes up

HOW LARGE DOES THE AGE GAP HAVE TO BE TO MAKE IT UNCOMFORTABLE ?

as said in my rules, i think about within four years (if they're both adults) is my preference. there can be nuance (for example, Shadow is ""technically"" 50+ years old because of his time spent in stasis, but that doesn't mean i consider him that old) but generally that's my base rule for characters with normal aging.

ARE YOU SELECTIVE WHEN SHIPPING ?

it sort of depends on the mun? if we talk about it enough and i start feeling The Vibe then i'll probably want to do it! you never know

WHO ARE OTHER CHARACTERS YOU SHIP YOUR CHARACTER WITH ?

OUGH tough question- this section is gonna be so long im so sorry lmao

Cat-Bee: no one in either her toy or toon verses

CatNap: no one in his toy verse as he's a child, but i'd be willing to ship him with others in his toon verse! i'm just not sure who, so none for now lmao

CraftyCorn: none right now, though i think her and Kickin' or Bobby could be cute as a little kid relationship thing

Dark Choco: Licorice Licorice Licorice. absolutely Licorice, though i do like the thought of him with Cream Unicorn. i also ship him with [redacted] but that's a Very Specific thing with one person

Hoppy: i can't really think of any!

Juniper: she's a Chao lmao

Shadow: there's a few that could be cute! Shadamy comes to mind, but honestly anyone from the cast who's within his age range could be fun depending on the other mun's interpretation. i also love all his potential friendships but that's not what this meme is about lol

Tails: no one, i can't see him being in a relationship

Toy Bonnie: technically he's a dead adult but i can't see him being with anyone either

DOES ONE HAVE TO ASK TO SHIP WITH YOU?

please do! i don't wanna misread social cues or whatever and end up making a fool of myself, especially when i'm aromantic and might not see things in a romantic light by default

ARE YOU SHIP-OBSESSED OR SHIP MORE-OR-LESS?

not obsessed with doing it, i'm pretty casual, but sometimes i hyperfixate on one specific ship :]

WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE SHIP IN YOUR CURRENT FANDOM?

idk, im just kinda neutral to all of them! again, though, Shadamy sounds cute, and i can probably be convinced to ship anything lmao

FINALLY, HOW DOES ONE SHIP WITH YOU?

as said before, please just ask! even "i think they'd be funny/cute/etc together" works for a reason and i'll probably want to try! i just need to know so i can sort of "shift mindsets"

Tagged by ; @already-know-this-story! thank you!

Tagging ; uhhhhh @4ffogato @darkcacaocookieandfriends @civicmuses and whoever wants to yoink!

[cheemken]

Whenever I check the Drayton tag, it always makes me smile to see new asks on this blog. Truly fueling my thirst for Drayton stuff that's angsty or wholesome like to each their own but a lot of Drayton stuff I've seen often paint him being a bully / antagonistic to Kieran. Seeing many anons share their hcs has been so nice!

I wanna share some BB E4 hcs!

- Crispin likes to experiment with his cooking! Drayton is often his testing buddy before giving the improved versions to Lacey and Amarys. Drayton complains playfully about Crispin playing favourites

- Amarys manages the club budget so she usually checks the requests made to utilise it. She often rejects Drayton's suggestions of holding 'wild parties' under the guise of team building / bonding'.

- Lacey and Drayton have crossed paths with one another when they were kids. Clay and Drayden have brought them to party events before. For as much as Lacey gets on Drayton's case about how he dodges the administrative side of the club, she trusts him with the battling side.

- Despite his slacker status, Drayton is actually really good at handling new members who are super shy / nervous. His laid back attitude and chattiness helps ease these members, and he's also open to answering battle related questions. It still surprises his friends when he just rambles about different training methods for Dragon-types, sounding rather animated for once

Anon I'm fucking crying these are so dope cbxmbcnd ough BB E4 friendship is so really your honour it's so so real and so canon and they're really close and they remind me of the og Unova kids in my hcs hcmdbd

But also of fucking course Drayton would throw parties and say they're for team building exercises lmfaooo Amarys has to really check their budget lest someone falls for Drayton's "team building exercises" again hahaha

Also Drayton and Lacey childhood friends🥹🥹

Your honour imagine cbxnxn that'd be so cute but also since they're childhood friends they're also kinda like siblings lmfao, ofc Drayton's gonna annoy Lacey too, Iris isn't the only one who's fun to annoy. But also, not only do guys run away when Lacey mentions Clay is her dad, but imagine if Drayton is also part of the reason they run away hahah

Like they know Drayton is so chill and laid back, but they also know how protective he is of his friends, plus they're not gonna fucking challenge a champion level trainer that's actually trained by a legit champion, his Archaludon can probs sweep their teams. But it'd also be funny if Lacey is so so unaware of Drayton like, looking threatening from behind her, giving off the vibes that he will let his Archaludon attack at any guy or girl who wants to be w Lacey lmfao

But also him being like that to all his friends, like if he doesn't like someone, they would know, cause his smile is a bit too forced when talking to them

Also isn't it canon that Crispin kinda has a crush on Lacey?? Fucking imagine that convo w Drayton lmfaooo

Just "Lacey's really cute, should I ask her out??"

"if you value your life, no."

"huh? Why? Is it because of her dad?"

Your honour pls he's just a lil bit oblivious bcmxbd hahaha

Also y'know Crispin low-key gives off enby vibes, idk, it's the way he looks, idt he'd care much abt how people perceive him, all he cares abt is his friends, pkmn, and cooking

Speaking of cooking imagine if he's like, Gordon Ramsay kinda guy when he gets pissed off when someone ruins a dish tho lmfaooo imagine him yelling out cussed bc someone used the wrong technique or ingredient for a dish or even just dissed smth he made

I picture Amarys not being able to cook that well, everything she makes always gets burnt, Crispin once invited her over to teach her how to cook starting w basics but for some godforsaken reason she still managed to burn grilled cheese

"how..?? How in the Distortion World did you fuck that up??"

"that's the first time I've heard you say that word. Is it truly that bad?"

"Amarys, look at me in the eyes and take a bite outta that sandwich. Is it edible to you? Do you think it's edible? Do you think it's something people would willingly eat?"

He made her redo it ten more times till she got it right hahaha

But yeah omf these are so dope anon chxmnd

[todayisafridaynight]

NOOOO RIGHT 'CAUSE LIKE... the way the Arakawa Family specialize in faking deaths already, I'm sure Jo was so on top of everything. And who better to walk Masato through it right... flight's the perfect time to get started if it's gonna take like fourteen hours...

BUT YES. YEAH. Like The Day Of he's just paralyzed with worry and caught between wanting to do something and not wanting to go against Aoki... maybe at most he chances calling Arakawa telling him to be careful, because that's not too conspicuous given his role in the dissolution, but Arakawa just gives him the old I'll Be Fine Worry About Yourself... and, you know, why shouldn't he; they've always had their enemies and he's Arakawa the Assassin, he can handle himself... he can let himself have that fleeting hope, but deep down... and THEN he finds out and has to act like he didn't mean anything to him and has to go back to his duties like nothing happened... OUGH

Can I just say. Literally such an insane fucking series of scenes in Coin Locker Baby. Because you get Jo's despondence when he's saying he might have killed Arakawa--he's being a bitch to provoke Ichiban into a fight, but it's also an admission his inaction played a part, isn't it... and then you get him expressing that he's familiar with Ichiban's need to protect Arakawa... and then you get the sheer desperation and insistence in his voice when he says he could never kill him... and then you get--I'm not totally sure how clear it is in English--but you get him actively saying his feelings go deeper than Ichiban's without really explaining how... and then you get the tinge of fondness when he's thinking back on the old days when Arakawa lived up to his name... Like. Why Did They Do That. Any Of That.

ALSO. GOD. I've gotten so much shit the past couple days because I said I want to lock Jo, Kume, and Tendo in a room for five minutes For My Entertainment. Reading those tags felt like coming home honestly 😭 Like, even Ichi was ready to kill someone over Arakawa, and Jo was out here threatening to disembowel people [in the dub]. And I Think They Should Be Allowed To. As A Treat. So FOR REAL the biggest "I'm so glad we get to talk" 😭😭😭

On that note genuinely so funny that I took an extra ten minutes re-rendering the video because I forgot to put the "flashback" part in Arakawa's subtitles at first but then nobody read it 😭

But it's also something I've been mulling over because I'm delusional. Getting actors as high-profile as Nakai and Takei back for just A Flashback is kinda crazy to me because Arakawa and Jo's screen-time took up a full four percent of the entire game [over ten percent of the cutscenes] originally. But then if it's multiple flashbacks equivalent to that... what exactly is going on here that the past is so intertwined...

And Because My Brain Is Evil there is the fact that technically speaking, Yokoyama only said that line was from a flashback, and specified Arakawa wouldn't be appearing in the main story. Now of course a normal person would interpret that as him reassuring the audience he won't appear in any present-day scenes, but part of me was like. Oh So A Side Story Is On The Table [<- it's not it's fucking not it will not be in a million years]

JUST. WHAT ARE YOU GUYS COOKING WHY IS THE KITCHEN DOOR CLOSED WHY ARE THE WINDOWS BLACKED OUT

ANYWAYS that's enough from me for today I am [as always] glad you enjoyed One Missed Call and Kyouen, ABSOLUTE bangers

YAYA THATS WHAT IM SAYIN YOU GET IT. UNSURPRISINGLY BUT YOU GET IT ಥ▽ಥ

no but thats what i MEAN like i already was jokin with myself like 'jo and arakawa probably had A Thing right lmao' BUT THEN THE WAY JO TALKED BOUT ARAKAWA AND OBVI THE GENERAL FACT HE COULDNT KILL HIM REALLY JUST MADE ME (。・∀・??) AND REAALLLY LOOK AT EM CLOSER THE SECOND TIME AROUND like genuinely for what. it will fuck me up until i'm dead and gone SOOO unnecessary and yet they did it..

wack that people wouldnt want to see kume and tendo stuck in a room with jo like. from what i know everyone is a part of the We Hate Kume gang so. cmon. kume will be shredded into candy floss within five minutes. it'll be fun (๑❛ᴗ❛๑)

OK BUT NAKAI AND TSUTSUMI'S STATUS WAS A BIG REASON WHY I DIDNT THINK ARAKAWA NOR JO WOULD BE BACK FOR LAD8 THAT'S SO VALID TO CONSIDER THAT its that idea that just has me especially wondering what the plan is. im not expecting them to have MAJOR parts (or in arakawa's case too many flashback segments) but they MUST have a SUBSTANTIAL amount to warrant bringing them back right..

[lee-etc]

Answer 21 Questions, Tag 21 People

Tagged by @meiyanaalexia , thank you again for the tag 💗

1. Nickname: Why, Lee of course! I'm a simple man. (I've had other nicknames but they are too close to my real name so I am not sharing sorry asdkjalkdj)

2. Zodiac: Sagittarius ♐

3. Height: 168 i think???

4. Jock, nerd, goth, prep: definitely a nerd, ough

5. Last thing I googled: "jack black super crush beer cherry" it's tasty and i couldn't remember the exact name

6. Favorite musicians: TATSURO YAMASHITA,,,,,,,,,,,,, Yves Tumor, Her's, boygenius, ONE OK ROCK, Tyler the Creator, Sufjan Stevens, Björk, Talking Heads, ABBA, Duran Duran, Kate Bush, Tears for Fears... (if i continue we will be here all day)

7. Song stuck in the head: not a song but tomato potato clementine!!!! c'est bizness!!!😤💯🔥

8. House or block flat: idk if it's whether i wanna live in one or if i do live in one and the answer is house yes apartment maybe kind of

9. Followers: 289, i love you all 😤😤💝 except the bots i might have forgotten to block ❌❌

10. Do you get asks: yes but i am terrible at answering them i am so sorry

11. Amount of sleep: 6-9 hours baybee (number is less when i have an assignment due the next day xoxo)

12. What are you wearing: my headphones, black sweats and my dark blue white boy jersey (i just call it that because of the vibes it gives off) (all comfy at home stuff because i am comfy and at home in bed)

13. Dream job: I DON'T DREAM OF LABOUR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

...anyways, something in storytelling (preferably animation)

14. Dream trip: Going to Japan so soon it is mind blowing and something I have always wanted to do. Would also like to travel to any other countries with good food and hopefully see some of my mutuals on here one day!

15. Instruments: none 😭😭😭 If I could learn any, I'd learn the piano, bass guitar, and/or the saxophone.

16. Languages: English, and I'm learning/have learnt but am not fluent in: Afrikaans, IsiXhosa, Japanese

17. 10 favorite songs as of now:

(this is according to spotify) (also copy pasted from my previous post if there are repeats)

So You Are Tired by Sufjan Stevens

Golden Fever by Keanan Eksteen

King of Silence by Cibo Matto

enknee1 by hemlocke springs

Pills & Good Advice by Left At London

Planet of the Bass (feat. DJ Crazy Times & Ms. Biljana Electronica)

Pulp by Lime Garden

Ashtray by Hippo Campus

Cover Me by Starbenders

See You Again (feat. Kali Uchis) by Tyler, The Creator and Kali Uchis

18. If you were an animal: idk but lynxes are so cool

19. Favorite food: Japchae <3 I also love tiramisu

20. Random fact: I have been tryingg to listen to the magnus archives. It is very good so far.

21. my aesthetic: perhaps something light academia adjacent? i'm not sure.

Not gonna tag 21 people i am gonna tag like 7 cause that is a third of 21. yeah (feel free to ignore as always) : @1989nihil @dogboyrevenge @burgundyquills @a-nerdy-little-me @mitarashiko @zuraea @justacasualgaycrisis

[pyrriax]

i'm literally just dropping this song here

[mokutone]

tags from @kakashihasibs on this post

#ive been thinking about this post all afternoon and evening and night lol #i dont think we see yamato outwardly express anger ever (at least in the episodes we see) #like the closets he gets is when he's annoyed at naruto and even then that seems more playful or frustrated than properly angry #even when he is yelling at Bee and Naruto he doesn't seem ACTUALLY angry #but like how could he not be angry? #like everything that's happened to him? to people he loves? it's gotta be in there #you can't face the evils he's faced and not come out the other end at least a little angry #yam is too nice for his own good #sometimes #I think the biggest reason he represses his anger so thoroughly is bc i think a part of root is specifically repressing 'negative' emotions #i feel like i can remember a line from danzō about how emotions can lead to hate #but also focusing so much on the 'negative' emotions might be to keep root agents from turning that anger and resentment towards #Danzō and root itself #like another way of keeping kids in line is teaching them anger (especially justified anger) is a dangerous emotion #and with the extra focus on that perhaps that still something yamato isn't able to express properly #but also yam cares a good deal for naruto and probably for Bee too #he might not WANT to be angry at them #maybe he keeps it repressed so he doesnt lash out at someone he loves? #hmmmmmmmmm #i love him #someone needs to needle him until he snaps #get that anger out my guy #at least in the episodes that I'VE** seen #i did not mean to say we #whoops

enthusiastically points at these tags. enthusiastically points at these tags. enthusiastically points at these t-

im going to chatter abt them below the cut specifically i think about. why he might be afraid of allowing himself to be angry + im gonna talk a lil bit about danzō + root's role in all this i think.

image descriptions for all images are in alt text

SO!!!! YEAH!!!!! YEAH EXACTLY...

these tags are so very right...we do see him get frustrated, or have that knee jerk kind of "no!!! you're horrible!!!" reaction at Naruto + Killer Bee when they scare him shitless, but ur right...that's not a serious anger that's a "You scared me!!! don't do that I was worried!!!!" and annoyance at most. frustration. it comes and it passes easily...

alas that kakashi is VERY good at needling him (admittedly in a friendly and affirming way), but yamato probably would want to be mad at kakashi least of all!

i think you're right that he probably doesn't want to lash out at the people he loves, or risk hurting them especially with an emotion he doesn't or won't let himself understand well

but also. i think he might feel a lot of guilt tied up in his anger as well...so it's not just an "I don't want to hurt the people I care about" thing, but also kind of a,

"What right do I have to be this mad?" "Do I feel I'm deserving of better treatment? Better circumstances? I am and have been incredibly lucky. What a selfish thought."

type of deal. which is. ough.

LIKE. the way he might see it...he was the Only one of the 60 mokuton kids in the lab to survive (how lucky)

and then when he did survive danzō was like. "if things had gone even slightly differently, your life would've only been that of an experiment, but he lost interest in you, and I picked you up." (how lucky)

and then, amongst all the Root shinobi, danzō, the leader of root, decides to train him personally, indicating a particular favoritism or attention towards him (how lucky 🤮)

this one particularly i want to point at.

because if Danzō singles Kinoe out as a favorite, all of these other Root shinobi, especially the other kids who are completely emotionally neglected...would likely feel jealous of the attention and favor that Kinoe receives, perhaps especially because he's young, perhaps especially if he is not the strongest (what has he done to deserve such special attention? etc etc)—which would isolate Kinoe even within the already isolating experience of being in Root.

its technically a position of privilege, but the privileged is of being the closest in proximity to the worst man in Konoha, instead of waiting to the side, trying to draw his attention and approval. And the "benefits" might include the jealousy and judgmental eye of Kinoe's fellow agents.

(no wonder he latched onto Kakashi so fast, if that was the situation. Kakashi has his own problems with Being Nice and everything, but if Kinoe is hearing "you aren't worthy of the abuse you're receiving" the fact that Kakashi thinks that Tenzō is not just worthy of sparing but. worthy of rescuing. even when Kakashi's recovering from Kinoe's attempt on his life. is. well. How could he even begin to process that?)

but ah. but still...when Tenzō departs Root for the final time, he thanks Danzō for everything he's done for (to) him.

(And, in the Tsukkuyomi, Yamato expresses a want to take over team Kakashi, and then an immediate guilt and horror at his own selfishness, for wanting the spot which Kakashi occupies, when he had a position at Anbu he was supposed to return to. Who is he, to want something like that? Who is he, to want what Kakashi has?)

Does he understand that he doesn't have to be grateful all the time, for everything, for the slightest scraps? I worry so much! Does he know that he doesn't have to thank people for not having been worse to him? Yamato, you're allowed to ask for more! You're allowed to want things!

I think that working alongside Sai has to be both extremely good and fairly painful for him in this regard. I'm sure Yamato could find a way to forgive or excuse Danzō's actions towards himself—especially if he thinks he was in some way lucky to have that situation.

But Sai? Sai is a different person. Sai isn't him, doesn't have his baggage—maybe he can see in Sai, what he cannot in himself! A kid who didn't deserve any of that, and is struggling in the aftermath. I like to think that, even if Yamato could forgive Danzō at the time for how he was treated, he could not ever forgive Danzō for how Sai has been treated.

I think he gives Sai a lot of leeway in expressing himself and picking fights with his teammates that he might not if he wasn't aware of Sai's situation, because I think he knows how important it is to let Sai uhhhh. hm. To let sai be completely fucking unhinged, for a bit. A line has to be drawn sometimes, but.

Yamato voice: I think he should be allowed to be a little malevolent. As a treat. Get it out of his system.

anyway. god. this reminded me of a comic i'd started Literally About This Concept that I absolutely forgot I was trying to work on