#i'm going to start writing draft 3 sometime next week

[abronzeagegod]

Untitled YA Novel Project Part One

Part One: The Silence Comes

The zlilfian people have many things in common with the average North American honey bee, from the gold and black hair patterns to the compound eyes and wings. One of the biggest things they have in common is not just the physical similarities, like how homo sapiens have commonalities with the great apes, but that of their social hierarchy. They have three tiers in their society, most similar to gender roles, that are that of the qiin, the political head of the Great Houses that run much of the zlilfian society, the jdargandins, the minders who watch over the internal operations of the Great Houses, and the shrar, the soldiers and laborers who do the work for the Great Houses.

Chapter 1: Adventure Missed It’s Wake Up Call

7:06 AM local time

Chicago, Algonquin State, United States of America

Justin hated waking up early for school, so it was no surprise when he rolled over in bed and saw that he had missed his alarm, sleeping through it. Fortunately, or unfortunately as the case may be, he had gotten somewhat used to the early mornings and only woke up fifteen minutes late. Mornings were the worst. Why hadn’t the administration realized that teenage students wanted nothing more than to sleep until ten, or even ten thirty.

He rolled over and just slapped at the alarm clock out of half asleep muscle memory. After stomping to the bathroom, Justin brushed his teeth with mechanical disinterest. He saw how bad his hair looked, the shaggy brown hair was all over the place from the night of restless sleep. The second he got downstairs he knew that his dad was going to tell him to comb it. Might as well get that done now. He rinsed out his mouth of the strange mint flavored toothpaste and watched the water drain slowly out of the sink before cupping his hands under the faucet and wetting down his hair.

There was something about the dreary, cold November weather, and the second year of high school that really didn’t work for Justin. He didn’t want to go to school today, and even if he was late, he couldn’t bring himself to rush. This strange liminal space between being new at high school, all eager and excited, and the stressful ‘have you decided what you are going to do with the rest of your life’ junior year, was extremely dull and not all that exciting.

He didn’t try that hard with his hair since it was a losing battle anyways, and what was really the point of caring what he looked like. He was an average high school boy. Brown hair, brown eyes, tan skin tone that he got from his mom. Screw it, it didn’t matter, it was just high school.

After throwing on his clothes that were mostly clean, Justin went downstairs where he found his dad mechanically making some coffee and toast. They didn’t greet each other aside from a small nod. Alex, Justin’s father, wasn’t any more of a morning person than his son. He was off to work soon.

Luckily, Justin didn’t hear any comments from his dad about being late, or the state of his hair, or any of the usual complaints. Which was a small mercy.

The rushed breakfast was silent and still. Justin took some of the fresh made toast, liberally covered it in butter and then some cinnamon sugar, before taking it with him. He grabbed his backpack and left the house. He was going to be late for the bus, and if there was one thing he hated it was walking to school.

He must have told his dad goodbye, because that was what he always did, but he couldn’t hear himself say it.

Justin took a few bites of the toast, and chewed. He didn’t really have many thoughts in his head as he walked down the front walkway towards the bus stop. The only thing that was really there was the observation that the house was always so quiet and empty now that his mom had left.

“Justin! Hurry up! I will leave you behind!” yelled his only friend, Mike, from the bus window as the heavy truck lumbered to a squeaking halt a few houses down from Justin’s house.

This made him stop short.

The wall of sound, the shout of Mike, the rumble of the bus, the sounds of the traffic down the street. All of a sudden it was all there. The sound. It was utterly absent from within the house. Justin realized that his house was totally silent, but not in a way that was normal in any way.

“Justin! You’re going to miss the bus,” his dad called form the driveway as he left for work. The car chirping gently as he unlocked it with the remote.

“Yeah, the bus,” Justin muttered, his dad didn’t seem concerned, or he didn’t seem to notice. It’s just that he didn’t know which was worse.

Next || More

my kofi where i post everything

[snowball-doie]

| pairing: sub!nerd!Mark x Dom!Reader

| warnings: 18+ MDNI. Jerking him off. Oral. Slight edging. I'm like a broken record when it comes to writing about sucking Mark off, my b <3

| wc: 2.3k

Sometimes the best way for Mark to study was with an incentive system— A way for him to earn rewards if he did his work. He had a habit of getting disinterested in his work easily because you were a fantastic distraction from his textbooks, even if you weren’t doing a single thing aside from lounging on the couch in pajamas. Mark just… he couldn’t care less about anything else whenever you were around. You were his everything. But to you, his studies should have been his everything because he was so close to getting his master’s, it was stupid of him to throw that all away just because he couldn’t keep his hands to himself. So you figured out when finals season approached and Mark was constantly throwing his work to the side to make out with you that if you gave him rewards for studying, Mark was eager to speed through his flashcards, textbooks, homework, and so on.

“When you’re done with your lab report, I’ll blow you.”

“When you’ve reviewed your final draft for your philosophy essay, you can kiss me.”

“Once you make your own comment on the assignment of the week, I’ll sit on your lap while you reply to two of your classmates’ comments.”

Mark had always been a good student, but somehow his grades were doing even better ever since you started the incentive idea. You were having to slow him down and stall on his rewards because, like a dog in training, he figured out that if he was a good student then you would touch him, so he was doing too much at once just for the chance to get your mouth on his cock, or even the opportunity to be inside of you. Usually he only got to fuck you after big projects worth about 20% of his grade… But since it was finals season, Mark was more worked up than usual, and he was incredibly stressed, so he was eager for more and more and more—

“I can’t keep doing this, baby, I’m too tired,” he whined, hiding his face in his hands before diving face-first against his open textbook. “If I have to read one more thing about how arteries work, I’m going to start tearing my hair out. Like, who doesn’t know this already! Why do I have to read seven chapters about bullshit I learned in high school!”

“How much more do you have left?” you asked, setting your phone to the side and sitting up on the couch.

“Two more chapters.”

“That’s nothing,” you whined back mockingly.

Mark lifted his head so that he could show you his pouting bottom lip and those big puppy-dog eyes behind his glasses. Why did you have to fall in love with a hot nerd, huh? A nerd would have sufficed. Or a hot jock. But a hot nerd was your kryptonite, and even though you knew he was baiting you to get what he wanted, there was no denying that he was irresistible when he was wearing his glasses, his hair long was a mess, and his pajamas were shifting around just enough to let you see the outline of his abs under his shirt and his cock in his pants. Ugh, he knew how to get you.

“Finish this chapter first,” you said, hoping to buy yourself some time.

Mark perked up thanks to the mysterious hope you’d provided him. His eyes began scanning the chapter at the normal, quick pace you were familiar with when he wasn’t protesting the idea of studying; and in the meantime, you pushed yourself off the couch and walked towards Mark. He hesitated briefly, but his gaze didn’t leave the textbook. He warily flipped the page, revealing that he was on the last few paragraphs before the next chapter. You watched over his shoulder to put some pressure on him to actually read and not just fuck around because even though you weren’t a nerd like him, you’d learned enough during his “rewards” to catch on whenever he was lying about doing his work just to get what he wanted.

“Done,” he cheered victoriously.

“How long’s the next chapter?”

Mark flipped a few pages in search of the chapter he didn’t have to read for homework. Six pages later, he found it and pointed.

“You think you can last ‘til then?”

Mark looked confused. “For what?”

With a wicked grin, you dropped down to your knees then crawled under the dining room table where Mark had set up shop with all of his study material in preparation for finals. You were having to eat meals on the couch since there was no room at the table anymore.

“Read the chapter aloud so I know you’re not lying,” you told him casually as you pried his knees apart to make room for yourself to settle between his legs. Mark leaned back so that he could watch you for a moment. “Don’t lose track of your spot either.”

As you grabbed the hem of his pajama pants, Mark aided your attempt to undress him by lifting his hips so that you could pull the fabric down, then he resettled on the wooden chair. Mark wasn’t unfamiliar with being naked on that chair— You liked to tie his hands behind his back and have him sit on that chair while you rode him until his head was spinning and he couldn’t get out a single word.

When you wrapped your hand around his length, Mark gulped, but he remembered what you wanted him to do in order to earn his reward, so he leaned forward again to put his focus on the last chapter of the night. You didn’t do anything to distract him for a bit. Despite his growing eagerness as shown by his hardening cock in your hand, you didn’t move or do something new— So Mark began reading the chapter aloud. Honestly, you weren’t paying attention. A lot of the science shit he studied went over your head, so even though you heard the words and learned a thing or two here and there, you never really… absorbed everything like he did…

Mark concentrated on the words in front of him, and as he began the next paragraph, that was when you began slowly pumping your hand up and down his long dick. He moaned suddenly. His ability to keep reading coherently faded, so you stopped your motions. Mark immediately bucked his hips upward to encourage you to keep going, but so long as he wasn’t studying, you weren’t going to give him his reward. When he recuperated, Mark slowly started reading again… You took a moment to believe him that he was actually ready, then you continued when you were doing. Mark moaned, but before you could stop again, he raced to keep reading at a faster pace, likely in the hopes that you would put him in your mouth or ride him, or let him fuck you…

Your tongue flicked Mark’s tip suddenly. The words of the textbook got caught in his throat, and within an instant he was leaning back to look down at you, his glasses hanging low on the bridge of his nose. You stopped to look up at him. He whined at the lack of stimulation, but you grinned while cocking your head to the side, waiting for him to say something, to admit that he wanted more, or perhaps he would silently return to his work. In fact, that was what he did. He read the next line casually to give you time to get back to what you were doing. Two lines later, you caught him off guard by sucking him off again, your tongue swirling around his tip, your fingers playing with his base and even teasing his balls a bit to really get him worked up.

The third page turn marked him reaching the halfway point of the chapter without any more issues. He did his best to ignore you so that he could focus on his work, despite the fact that you were slowly working his cock towards an orgasm which you didn’t plan on giving him quite yet. He knew that. He read as fast as he could in order to complete the assignment sooner, but every time he fucked up a word or lost his place in the paragraphs, you paused to give him a chance to figure out how to reset. Unfortunately, whenever you stopped, you also edged him. He hated that. But you loved how cute he sounded when he was all submissive and desperate.

By the fifth page, Mark was losing it. He was stuttering through every word, moaning between sentences, begging for more at the end of paragraphs. You tried to show him a little bit of mercy by going slower so that you didn’t have to edge him as often, but even that couldn’t really help Mark. Poor thing. Before you, he didn’t have a lot of experience— A personal choice until he met you. He’d only kissed a guy, some friend of his, and one girl in middle school; and he fully intended on never thinking about dating again until after his PhD when he could think about getting married. However, he saw you in his ethics class, a required course which he was less than excited to be attending instead of the courses required for his master’s degree, and once he laid eyes on you, he knew that he had to have you, but there was one thing in his way. He definitely didn’t deserve you. The fact that you were so gorgeous and perfect and amazing and— Mark couldn’t believe that someone like you would look twice in his direction. What he failed to recognize, though, was that he was actually way out of your league, according to you, so you couldn’t believe that someone as handsome as Mark Lee would even glance at you.

Now there the two of you were, moved in together, happily dating, supporting each other through your degrees, and even teasing the idea of marriage whenever Mark got really sappy during cuddle-time late at night. His experience obviously grew in that time too. Mark liked to experiment with his sexuality, and that led him to discovering that he liked being submissive from time to time, especially when it came to things like rewards and punishments— Having structure in his life provided by someone else gave him comfort.

“Can I cum?” he asked suddenly.

You pulled off of him.

“Wait, wait, please, don’t stop—”

“You have to finish the chapter first.”

Mark shuddered. “I can’t.”

“Yes, you can. I believe in you, baby.”

He swallowed a moan then continued reading. Something, something, arteries, something, something, blood, something— “I’m close! No, no, no…” His knuckles turned white as his fists tightened when you edged him again. Something, something… Nutrients… Something… Hormones… “Okay, I’m done, I finished, please!”

Sitting up on your knees slightly, you were able to angle yourself better to sink your mouth down over his tip while your hand continued to jerk off the first few inches down at his base. Mark grabbed your hair to hold onto something for balance. He didn’t push you down or buck upwards. He just let you take the lead while he used you to keep himself sane. Slowly, you swallowed every inch until there was no more room for your hand, and you could feel him tickling the back of your throat, which was uncomfortable just enough to cause you to go back up. Mark moaned with relief. Feeling your cheeks hollow out, your tongue dragging along his length, and your saliva coating every inch of him made his eyes roll behind those handsome glasses of his.

“Can I cum?” he begged desperately.

“Yeah,” you mumbled before sinking back down.

Mark squirmed, his tip hitting the inside of your wet cheek, then he thrusted upwards until he hit the back of your throat again, and even though you gagged a bit, he moaned and started cumming. He panted breathlessly through it. There wasn’t a lot since you’d drained him throughout the past couple of days, but the orgasm was strong enough that he threw his head back and clenched his thighs around your shoulders.

“F-feels so good… Fuck… Thank you… Thank you…”

As his orgasm passed, he slumped in the chair. You allowed him a minute to catch his breath while you also used that time to swallow every drop he gave you while also trying to regain your composure.

“Fuck, I’ve got a headache now.” Mark reached to help you to your feet.

You kissed his forehead. “Take a break from studying, then, we’ll get some rest for a bit.” You continued to hold his hands as you pulled him to his feet too then calmly led him to the bedroom. Mark crashed on the bed in an instant. “Gotta take these off first, babe.” You carefully slid his glasses off his face and set them on his bedside table. “There you go.”

Mark grabbed your waist and pulled you on top of him to cuddle close and nuzzle his face in the crook of your neck lovingly. “Do you think I’m going to pass my bio exam?”

“You’re studying more often than not, so, yes.”

He chuckled. “You’re biased.”

“Then why’d you ask me, silly?”

Mark squeezed you tight and rolled over so that you were laying beside him, giving you ample room to squeeze him back. “Thank you,” he said. “You’ve helped me a lot this semester.”

You kissed the top of his head and played with the end of his long hair that laid against the back of his neck. “Any time.”

taglist: @theycallmesya @henderysposts @trash-number-one @botchedbrat @n0hyuck

@topmoondanse @shoetaroshoe @faeryus @junrenjun @october-saturn

@colorfulbunnyofcttn @jeongjaeleftbicep @g-bizz @highhjime @userntfnd

@gabbanagold @k44mii @scoobysnackszoo @babyjenono @i2608s

@daryaa8a @funnyvxlentine @crazylittlebisexual @armaegddn

[vorfreudevortex]

a portrait of us - eight

a nanami x reader smau

masterlist

warnings: angst lol, slow burn, swearing, a little ooc, a typo or two

notes: ngl i am starting to hate this story but it's okay!! also I'm drunk but I'm posting this anyways idc. also - written portion - 1.3k words (?!!). i'm finding it impossible to not write long ass parts. also pls feel free to request or ask me anything bc i don't like this smau and need something to distract me in between writing it <3 love u bye

as the car pulled up to the museum’s front entrance, you shakily smoothed your hair and dress with one hand, the other clutching a crumpled sheet of paper with your speech.

you couldn’t decide which was more pitiful. the frizzy flyaways escaping your hastily curled hair? or the piece of stationary, painstakingly flattened but still creased, one of the thirty-two drafts you’d written, retrieved reluctantly from the hotel floor?

the driver parked as an attendant opened the door, offering a hand to help you out. the museum director approached with a reassuring smile, and a suit probably worth more than thirty of your paintings combined.

the driver parked an attendant opened the car door and offered you a hand to help you out. the director approached you with a comforting smile and a suit that probably cost more than 30 of your paintings combined.

“welcome! how are you feeling?”

“to be honest,” you replied with a nervous smile. "I'm terribly anxious.”

he chuckled, holding the front door open for you. “that’s perfectly natural. don’t worry! the patrons will love you and your work. anyone would be foolish not to.”

“thank you, director…” you murmured, his words doing little to calm your trembling hands.

the head assistant joined your walk to the gallery hall, peppering you with one question after another.

“the catering service has just finished setting up. would you please take a final sample of the gyoza and ohitashi? they don’t look quite the same as they did during the original tasting…”

“we have a very important guest from malaysia… would you like me to introduce you two when she arrives? it would be a shame if you didn’t at least find time to say hello…”

“are you absolutely certain about the painting for the final reveal? i know you said it’s special to you but the other assistants and i agreed that the other one would-”

“alright, that’s enough questions,” the director interjected as you neared the gallery hall. you let out a small breath of relief. you thought you might burst if another word came out of the assistant’s mouth. “please go make sure the waiters have the champagne chilled and poured.”

“thank you,” you whispered to the director as the assistant walked away.

“please, don’t thank me. they can be so overbearing. sometimes, it’s better to just let things flow as life means them to,” he replied with a smile.

“yeah…” you replied, glancing at your paintings, their eyes seemingly judging you.

“i can see you’re terrified, and that’s okay. you’ve never done this on such a big stage before!” he laughed. “but truly, it’s not all that different than a smaller exhibition.”

“i don’t think i deserve to be here.”

“if you didn’t, you wouldn’t be.”

you looked at the director, letting his words calm your nerves a bit. your gaze wandered to one of your paintings, a vibrant reinterpretation of jeanne: spring by édouard manet, now alive with bold reds and yellows. 

it was both different and familiar, evoking nostalgia even in those who knew the original. the abstract strokes depicted a striking dark-skinned woman you had met in the park, with bright orange braids cascading down to her waist, her skin glowing against the polka-dotted umbrella she carried.

upon meeting her, you had eagerly asked to paint her, offering what little savings you had left in return. she had given you a sideways smile and agreed, letting you capture her portrait for free.

over the next week, you posed her in your small apartment, finding moments between both of your busy schedules. when you finally showed her the finished piece, she grinned again and said, “oh sweetie, you’re gonna be big one day.”

though she couldn’t be here in tokyo, her spirit was with you, embodied in the painting with that sideways smile even the umbrella couldn’t overshadow.

"onee-san!"

your attention shifted from the painting to the other side of the room, where a group was led by itadori yuji and his toothy grin.

"itadori-kun!"

“and me! hello?” satoru added playfully.

“of course, you too,” you smiled. “thank you for coming, i'm so thrilled you’re here. you all look amazing!”

“no, you look amazing. and i wouldn’t miss this for the world,” satoru said, hugging you. "onee-san, i want you to meet all my students!”

as he finished introducing you to the first and second years, a warm hand rested on your shoulder. you turned to see an old classmate, now with long hair and a familiar pair of boots.

“shoko ieri, take my shoes off right now!” you laughed, throwing your arms around her.

“um, no way. you never even wore them when you had them,” she teased.

shoko's expression softened as she noticed the tears welling in your eyes. she looked just the same, but you couldn’t help noticing the worry lines between her brown, evident even with her smile.

“i didn’t think i'd see you again,” she said quietly.

“me neither… i'm so-”

“-stop talking,” she interrupted. “we brought gifts for you!”

you let go of shoko while yuji held out a large bouquet of blue and pink daisies.

“oh, stop it!” you exclaimed, taking the flowers. “they’re beautiful. thank you all so much!”

“we’re not done yet! there’s more,” satoru said slyly, holding out a small black box.

your heart nearly stopped when you pried the lid open to reveal a large pearl pendant on a gold chain.

“you-”

“-there’s more. look under the velvet,” shoko urged. you carefully lifted the padding to reveal a check with the note “a commission for the staff and students” made out for…

“ten million fucking yen?!”

“whoa, language!” satoru laughed. “kids, go run and play or something.”

“shoko, did you know about this?” you panicked as the students filed away with quiet giggles. “i seriously can’t accept this!”

“yes, you will,” shoko retorted, crossing her arms.

“a commission for what?”

“girl, did you even read the check?” satoru huffed playfully. “you’re gonna paint a portrait of the staff and students at jujutsu high. and hopefully, instead of ignoring us, it’ll cover a plane ticket back so you can visit us next year.”

tears welled up in your eyes again, spilling down your cheeks.

“no. seriously. i-no! i can’t accept this! this is an insane amount of money for a commission like that. i'll paint for you guys for free. and you’ll return this necklace because i know you spent too much money on it, too.”

“stop talking and just accept the gift,” shoko urged.

“but i don’t deserve it.”

“now you’re just spouting nonsense,” satoru said as he placed a hand on your shoulder and turned you toward the gallery entrance. he pointed at the large banner bearing your gallery information. “what does that banner say?”

“it says my name,” you sniffled, still clutching the flowers and box.

“no, idiot. i'm talking about the quotes.”

“um…” you blinked away tears. “someone truly exceptional…?”

“and?”

“a modern-day van gogh…?”

“one more.”

“art that every being should hope to be privileged enough to experience.”

“good job, you can read!” satoru smiled, giving your shoulders a slight shake. “some snobby rich art critics said that about you. now, stop feeling fucking sorry for yourself and make sure everyone has their attention on you tonight.”

“and deposit the check when you get home,” shoko added.

“yes, please deposit the check,” satoru agreed. “if you lose it, i'll be pissed.”

you wrapped your arms around satoru and shoko, squeezing tight in tearful appreciation. they had no idea… the check would cover over a year’s worth of rent, premium canvases, all fine-haired brushes you could ever want, and even a payment on a car. you swore to yourself that you’d pour your soul into painting them a fucking masterpiece.

“now let go,” satoru said, pushing you away. “and go impress all these high-class art people.”

“okay, okay, i'm going!” you smiled with a sniffle.

wiping your tears away, you waved at your classmates as you walked further into the gallery to greet the small crowd that had arrived. sometime during your conversation, your hands must have stopped trembling.

“you’re gonna be just fine,” you thought to yourself with a grin.

next: part nine

tag list // @bubybubsters @sad-darksoul @corvid007 @kenqki @ikon-teen

© vorfreudevortex | all rights reserved. do not copy, translate, repost, or otherwise share my work.

[louroth]

Hello everyone :> 

It's been a month! it's incredible how much my life has changed- while I'm still adjusting I'm just...still walking on clouds. it feels unreal. the patreon took off and I can almost make a living wage on it which is frankly fucking insane, and the discord is so vibrant it scared me for a moment (not anymore- shooting the shit with the people there is the favorite part of my day, even if I sometimes just leave a trail of emotes lskjdhajksdhkjasd.) I couldn't have asked for a better community. YES I am crying about it. Thank you, so, so much. I am cradling your face in my hands. crying.

But as always, enough of my bleeding heart. Let's get to it!

The first two weeks after posting the update, I took a sort of quasi vacation and only wrote a handful of story-words each day, and spent some time fooling around in the discord + brushed off my smut archive to refine for Patreon. There are already 4 stories up, and a new one coming tomorrow- though I haven't decided yet whether it will be possessive/jealous L sfw short or one very nasty short where you come across a particularly insistent species of vines while trekking the forest. hehe. we'll see. >:3

But, even though I had to rest not to combust after work, I am very pleased to say that the next chapter is coming along great, with the skeleton finished for its entirety, and about 45% and some change already written (it's very hard to gauge because I jump around a lot when I write.) This is the final chapter before the forest, filled with action and the heart wrenching drama of offering tenderness to a certain someone, and deciding for your hunter when enough is truly enough. I have teared up writing certain scenes and I genuinely cannot wait for you to experience this next part yourselves. 

It is so funny reading things I wrote for this chapter six months ago, or longer, because I knew exactly what emotions I wanted to bake in and couldn't really nail it, but now it is coming together beautifully! Sure, it will still be wonky first draft writing, but the core is there and that is all that matters for now. I'm saying soon™ for the update for now, because I am allowing myself to adapt to writing full time- I didn't quit my job to become my own nightmare boss, and I truly want to enjoy this process. I think, in the long run, it will result in a better story. Patience is my mantra. All in due time- I cannot force quality creative work. But by everything wretched and sinful, I cannot wait to share this next part with you!!! I'm frothing at the mouth!!!

In other news, y'all. I need to get organized. I get heartburn thinking about all the different variations of files and notes and notebooks and scraps of paper and variables and branches of plot and just generally, the things to keep track of is getting to the point of a dragon hoard of scary 'oh no I forgot about that part'. I'm gritting my teeth through it until this chapter is out, but after it, I am going to spend some time to

 1) get my shit together in gorgeous, beautiful spreadsheets

2) get serious about finding beta- and proofreaders. (me @ u: 🥺)

But that's it, my friends! I scrapped an entire progress report because I started sounded corporate and listing points which was just... sad. I really hope I evolve into writing these in a more fun way, which would make them more fun for you to read too! But for now, I think this will do. I hope you have a beautiful day/night, and if you would like to see more in depth dev-logs of my writing life, or random sneak peeks, I post those weekly on patreon!

Or join our discord, which. It's just the nicest place, I can't even come up with words that do it justice. It's my favorite daily newspaper.

Until next time! x

[teenagedirt]

can you write something about sam comforting/protecting reader when she gets scared while exploring haunted places? thanks <3

I'm right here.

Sam X fem reader

Note: I set this where they went to the conjuring house for a week,the video isn't out yet, so I have no idea what really happened, just coming up with it.

Your pov

I nervously shuffle into the house, clutching Sam's hand as if it was my anchor to the earth and if I let go I'd float away. They film the intro like normal, thanking everyone for 10 million subs. I was quiet, the feeling of this place threw me off. Made me feel uneasy, naturally of course with all the stories and evidence surrounding the haunting that took place here. "I think we should start with the spirit box" sam chimes in.

"We just got here like fifteen minutes ago, already?" I ask, sam had begged me to come, so I caved in and tagged along. I was regretting that decision, I should have just stayed home.

"Yeah. We need to get as much evidence as possible" he replies, colby still walking around in circles, as if he were looking for something, he assures us he's not, but it sure looks like it.

"Fair enough" I sit down internally freaking out as the spirt box spits out random words and phrases.

None if them catch my attention, until this string of words. "Death is....coming" I look at them both, a look of fear on my face, sam grabs my hand gently, assuring me it's okay.

"Hoe us this trip already seem like such a bad decision" I say, staring into Sam's eyes.

"Who is death coming for" cokby asks, despite my protests.

"Death, morbid, pain, for, y/n" it spits out the words fairly quickly.

The reality of what the poece of equipment had said sinks in. I stand up, shoving my chair away. "NO, NO WHAT, SAM I CANT" I'm freaking out. I knew that I was going to be criticized for my reaction but the viewers. But unlike sam and colby, I wasn't used to this, so I figured my response was natural and reasonable. "It said my name, are you kidding me. I've never been here, this doesn't make sense. I jnow I'm overreacting, but oh my God, I can't."

Sam's eyes are full with sympathy, I can tell he feels bad. "Hey, hey, it's okay, calm down. It's okay. Sometimes spirits wanna mess with us, that's all. It's okay y/n" he says, I try to calm down, it wasn't working very well, but I looked calm enough on the outside.

"Okay...I'm fine. I'm sorry I just got freaked out" I was really apologizing to the viewers, so maybe they would completely be infuriated by me.

The rest if the night sam payed close attention to me. It was now around four in the morning, I didn't really understand why we stayed up so late, considering we had an entire week to investigate. "Hey...are you okay, wince the spirit box thing you've been jumpy." He asks, I only nod. He sighs, "it's okay to be scared, your not used to this, me and colby are, and hell when we get scared, come here" he says, I hug him tightly.

"What if, the spirit wasn't just joking around? What if it was serious? This is one place that is undeniably haunted sam" with us still wrapped up in a hug he sighs, looking for the right words.

"Babe. I promise, it wasn't being serious, some spirit trying to pull a prank, it's late enough, let's try and get some sleep. Alright?"

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

Sorry this is so short! Hope I lived up up ur expectations!

Slowly working through my drafts/requests.

Next fic: johnnie guilbert X masc reader

[sophieinwonderland]

Preface: People are going to assume this is a response to recent drama. So I want to say that I started writing this draft before that one blog's response to me. It was shortly after midnight on the 8th when it was just barely what I consider my Birthday. I was reflecting on my 3 years of existence and where I am now. The fact that I got the response I did later that same day is a total coincidence.

I don't feel like I have friends anymore...

That's an awful thing to admit.

I have one other system I feel like I talk to with any sort of regularity, who I love and consider friends. But they're not involved with syscourse which is so often where my mind goes. And so I don't talk to them about it because I don't want to trouble them, which means I don't talk to them because I can't think of what to talk about.

What else do I care about?

I mean, there are other things I care about, but they probably wouldn't care about those things. And I struggle to find something to say. Something that feels worthy of their time. But again, not syscourse or something that would bring them down.

I've had other friends. But they've faded away with time. One by one.

And a lot of that is my fault. I'm not good at being a friend or knowing what to say. And I'm not very good at opening myself up.

And when I can't think of what to say, I choose to say nothing. I ghost people I like because it's hard to maintain those relationships.

And I'm aware on some level that this hurts people. I wouldn't want to be friends with someone who treated others the way I do.

And there will be times when I'll decide to do better. I will, with full confidence, say that I'm going to change. I'll be a better friend. A better person. I'll fully believe this is something I'll succeed at for the rest of the day. Then the next day comes and that conviction melts away.

I think one reason Jaiden's story of having ADHD appeals to me is that if this was the problem with us, maybe, we could identify it and then just take one little pill and it will fix me.

That's a nice fantasy, isn't it?

A naive fantasy that ignores the fact that I'm in the brain of someone who was homeschooled and barely had any friends as a child either. But it's a nice fantasy to hold onto anyway.

So, yeah. I don't feel like I have friends, for the most part, outside our system. I have a blog. I have followers. I have plenty of mutuals I like interacting with.

But there aren't people who I truly trust to let in. It doesn't feel like anyone actually knows me or who I am anymore, if anyone ever did.

Since I haven't posted on it for a week and don't know when I'll post on it again or if I will, here's a confession: I made @anti-lies! Sorry to ruin the mystery for anything speculating! Though I didn't think I was even that subtle about it.

But the only person I know who guessed it was me was SAS! Which, congratulations! But also, that's kind of a sad thought that the person who might know me better than anyone is someone who was my archnemesis for the past two-and-a-half years.

To be fair, SAS did imply that other people might have guessed it. But if so, whatever circles those conversations are happening in aren't ones I'm in.

Oh wait, I'm not really in any circles am I?

I'm on the outskirts of the community. I mean, that's sort of by choice really.

Public posts can bring more awareness of plurality and tulpamancy. Locking myself in Discord servers or some isolated community makes me feel like I'm wasting my time because I need to be talking about it publicly where the world can see. I really, really don't want to be part of a Discord server. It's my choice to stay out of those spaces and I don't regret that decision.

But sometimes it's weird when I realize that most everyone else is. That they're actually in plural communities in a way I'm not.

I wonder, do people even realize I'm an outsider? Again, by choice. I've been invited to servers and chose not to go. I'm not being ostracized or anything. I've turned down attempts at bringing me further in. No one is to blame but myself. But either way, the result is that I don't feel like I'm really part of the communities I spend so much time advocating for.

[herotome]

Devlog #125

Hi-ho, Wudge here! Gosh! I missed last week's update.

Happy holidays from Herotome!!

I haven't drawn anything this year-- oh but hmm, I could do a quick edit, here -

Tadah! For anyone who hasn't already seen it, we got those 50 reblogs to make Warden shirtless! A pure version without the christmas lights went up yesterday, just scroll down my blog a bit or check out the #ro: warden hashtag.

I'm pleased with how much mileage I'm already getting from this picture, ha.

Anyway.

Seems like I'm gonna be focused on writing new scenes and drawing expressions for a while. They're some of the more tedious tasks for me, so I'll certainly be looking for every opportunity to do other things on the side - like coding.

Today I've decided that the LI sprites should have their eyebrows on a separate layer from the rest of their face, to offer me the greatest amount of variety in creating new expressions - and I've come up with a naming system for it, too!

I'm looking forward to implementing this. Eyebrow shapes have much, much less variety compared to mouth shapes, so I might even finish drawing every possible eyebrow for every LI sometime soon. I've already gotten a strong start with Warden and Mia's eyebrows.

Speaking of, I did turn in more expressions over on Ko-Fi!

Tadah!! Thank you again to everyone who has donated so far!

I'm realizing that in the set dedicated to Dia, Warden and Mia have the same mouth shape on the upper right side... A fascinating subconscious decision on my part.

Outside of art, I did write... once. Er, it went pretty okay. I'm usually the biggest hater of my first drafts.

I think my goal is gonna be to show off the abilities of all the characters as equally as I can; Warden and Jade have had their time to shine (during the job fair and flying MC home, respectively), and I think MC, Griffin, and Mia are gonna be queued up next.

I'll put the rest under a cut for potential spoilers and further rambling - as always, if you don't see the cut, make sure to check out my blog directly!

I have a good idea of what I wanna do with Griffin (it may or may not involve obliterating your rent debt, and I may or may not have written about that in the first-draft-I-don't-hate).

I've been thinking that this scene would involve a change of clothes btw, and did some fashion concepts for Griffin that I also don't hate;

I'm not super sure what I'm gonna do for Mia's eventual ~special show-off scene~, but I'm sure it will come to me.

For MC, I want to show off her relationship with the city, and showcase how qualified she is for the job in a low-key way. I recently discussed with a friend how Men in Black is a huge source of inspiration for me... Y'all know the scene where Will Smith has his interview and did things differently from all the other candidates?? I kinda wanna capture that vibe...!

And ah... I think that's about it, Herotome-wise.

Wudge-wise, honesty hour - I've had ssssome mild health concerns this year.

I don't want to go into detail; I want to say it's been like... nothing life threatening, thankfully, but a lot of small physical inconveniences that pile up and make it harder to concentrate.

I did rest a lot last week so no worries. <3 It's just that parts of my body have been weird and annoying, and I think it's helpful to acknowledge that the flesh prison can be a weird and annoying place. But I value it! And I'm doing my best to take care of it. Health comes first, etc, etc.

With this new year, I hope you guys take care of yourselves as best as you can, too. The person who's most qualified to take care of you is you!!!

Stay safe and keep warm,

Wudge.

[nightly-valkyrie]

Update post for 'In the Shadow of Sierpinski'

Wanted to give a half ACT-2 update, half poll about how people prefer this fic because updated going forward. So starting with ACT-2 information: progress is going well! I've been blown away by the support and even as I've been sick, I've tried to get some work done here and there. For the most part, every chapter for the second ACT is outlined. As writing tends to go for me, there's a chance that it some chapters will get split into multiple, and some all new ones may pop up because some extra detail needed fleshing out. Sometime in the next week or so, I'm planning to finish up the next chapter and then get rough drafts done for the following ones. That, however, brings me to the poll about how best to update this fic.

Now, in regards to the fic as a whole, there was a few things I wanted to mention. As for a little bit of background for the fic, when looking at the whole of ItSoS and speak for what is/isn't planned; the fic for the most part is outlined. The major events and characters have all been written out, and the broad strokes of each act are written out in roughly 2 page summaries for my personal reference. This was done to allow me to maintain a realistic pace when writing and progressing the story without getting overwhelmed. That being said, I won't be putting a consistent timer on updates. I'm not sure I'd be able to stick to them every time, and I fear in trying I would risk burning out. In lieu of that, I still have some plans in regard to how to make updates relatively consistent so that its not months between chapters. Nobody wants to wait that long, least of all myself. So while I can't repeat the dropping entire ACTs in a single update, as that was specially done for the anniversary, I do want to offer 3 methods of updating that I'm willing to work around and feel will allow the pace of updates to feel reasonable. At the bottom of this post will be a poll, if you have read so far please take the time to vote quickly as it would really help me out <3!

Option 1 is just posting chapters whenever they're ready. Focusing one chapter at a time, having it undergo the entire drafting and revision process and posting it before moving onto the next chapter. Ultimately this would have the lowest wait between ACTs with no pause to write ahead, but at the same time, longer chapters may inspire longer waits so there would really be no promises on timeline.

Option 2 is drafting the whole of an ACT prior to releasing any chapters, then having each get revised one at a time and releasing each chapter when they're done with revisions. This would cause a moderate wait between ACTs but then the wait between chapters would be rather short as they will have already had most of their work done ahead of time.

Option 3 is to draft and then revise the chapters in small bursts. I would release the complete chapters of the course of 2-3 days depending on how many are done at a time. The bursts would be for chapters within the same ACT (no ACT-2 chapter being posted at the same time as ACT-3), but would sit somewhere in the middle in terms of wait time between fic updates.

I'm willing to work around any of the options so I will absolutely appreciate it if you vote below!

[saturnine-saturneight]

OC deep dive tag!

Thank you to @fortunatetragedy for the tag!!! [here]

I need a little jumpstart for Matcha's voice for this next chapter, so I'm digging this two week old tag out of my drafts x)

Phobias: She pretends that it's spiders, because she figures that screaming at those and making other people get them for her makes her look more harmelss. She honestly doesn't mind them that much. Her actual fear is trypophobia.

Other fears: Being taken too seriously. Tripping over her words.

Pet peeves: Recalcitrant people who won't let her pry into their business. Open up. C'monnnn. It's just her! :)

3 items you can find in her bedroom: Romance novel, eyeliner, burner phone.

First thing she notices in a person: Approachableness, even before attractiveness. She's generally good at gauging how open somebody is to friendly interaction.

On a scale of 1 to 10, how high is her pain tolerance? 2 or 3. She doesn't like getting hurt.

Does she go into fight or flight mode when under pressure? Fawning first, then flight mode, and only when those two don't work, fight, but more like a cornered mouse trying to bite.

Does she come from a big family/is she a family person? She has two older brothers, one older sister, and a sprawling web of aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents. She liked the family get togethers and misses them, but she doesn't miss everybody getting into her business. She has her own family now and sometimes wishes these two parts of her life could meet, but knows this can never happen.

What animal represents her best? Opossum :V She, too, likes to play dead dramatically, panic and hiss at everything, and dig through other people's trash / dirty laundry.

What is a smell that she dislikes? She's pretty tolerant to bad smells. A good trait to have in her former line of work.

Has she broken any bones? She broke her ankle running a few years ago. It still bothers her.

How would a stranger likely describe her? I'll let Nat do us the honors:

"On the other side of her face, a thick curtain of her hair is falling into her brown, cat-like face. It’s thick, pin straight, and dull looking, and where it hits her waist, split ends are starting to form. Nat eyes her thin wrists. She looks straight up malnourished, or perhaps like she hasn’t done physical labor a day in her life."

Is she a night owl or a morning bird? Night owl, though she's often forced to wake up early.

What is a flavor she hates and a flavor she loves? She loves the taste of coffee and hates fermented things like sauerkraut or kimchi, though she likes pickled mangoes.

Does she have any hobbies? Matcha no longer has a lot of time for hobbies. She doodles in the margins of notes often, though.

Boom, surprise birthday party! How does she react to surprises? Freeze with shock. Then: Squeal with joy. You thought of her? That's so sweet!!

Does she like to wear jewelry? Her ears are pierced in multiple places, though she's taken the majority of her ear jewelry out. She likes the look of chokers, usually simple and black, and wears bracelets sometimes.

Does she have neat or messy handwriting? Curly and pretty when she knows others will see it, jagged and quick in her own private notes.

What are the two emotions she feels the most? Dread and longing.

Does she have a favorite fabric? She likes velvet, silk, and mohair :)

What kind of accent does she have? She has a pretty standard North American accent. She's a second generation immigrant, her parents immigrated from Mumbai to the former US during the second bio engineering boom in the mid 2170s, ten years before she was born, give or take. So she grew up speaking Marathi at home and American English and Hindi in school and with peers.

Tagging:

@paeliae-occasionally @rotting-moon-writes @marlowethelibrarian @fortunatetragedy (get retagged >:) ) @fairytaleinagem

@writingrosesonneptune @davycoquette @the-golden-comet @gioiaalbanoart @chauceryfairytales

@autism-purgatory @lychhiker-writes @marquis-of-writeblr @cowboybrunch

[trollocks-in-my-bollocks]

20 Questions about writing 2.0

A while ago @lavendelhummel tagged me in her ask post and I want to make a point about my ability to actually react to stuff in a timely manner (rip). I worked a 12h shift today and with an addled brain (edit: lol I haven't managed to post this from the drafts in two days), I'm doing this. This is fun, we are going to have fun now.

1. How many works do you have on ao3?

Officially five. Unofficially there's a secret 6th one.

2. What’s your total ao3 word count?

68,919 words, most of it was written in 2022 when I had a weird year. The country next to us was being invaded by another, people who I'd thought would know better just went fully insane, I felt isolated and I needed escapism. Then next year I moved to a farm in Italy for a month, then to another country to do research for half a year through a dark slavic winter, so being alone was a theme and I was writing most of my fics in those periods when I had no family or social life, just quiet nights and my laptop.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

The Wheel of Time, my plots are spoilery and most of my stories are about the gap between NS and TEOTW or set after TMOL.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Born from Dark Water -- (The Cute One)

2. Dark Matter // Trip Through the Ways -- (The Kinky One)

3. Winternight's Tales -- (a series of short stories with a Moiraine/Birgitte threat in the background, a sort of AMOL fix-it)

4. Rain -- (the Entai One)

5. Il vento non era l'inizio -- (The One Written In Italian People Still Left Kudos On???)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I receive the best comments and nearly always reply but sometimes when someone says something incredibly nice I take several days or weeks to reply because I don't want to ruin the impression my fic left in them with an inadeqate reply. I know it's silly.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I'm not willing to write angsty endings, we have the source material for that. If I need to choose it would be Il vento non era l'inizio because it's a story about Moiraine leaving Siuan behind in Tar Valon and she's accidentally making it snow (sad cloud dancer moment).

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Dark Matter // Trip Through the Ways has the most optimistic ending compared to were the story is coming from.

8. Do you get hate on fic?

Not really. Someone once freaked out a bit because my characters didn't cuddle but that was more on the entertaining side.

9. Do you write smut?

I try but light knows I'm so bad at it. I probably shouldn't be allowed to write wlw scenes but who else will write that specific story then?? the ethernal conflict.

10. Do you write crossovers?

No :(

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I think it's natural for this fandom to have this collective meta lore that evolves with time (e.g. we all think it was Siuan who taught Moiraine fishing with her powers) and people take inspiration from this collective pool, it can't be always traced back who had a certain idea first. That being said, I often start my chapters explaining in a short note which author inspired certain characterisations or ideas in my story, just to be fair and mostly because I'm obsessed with these fanworks and I want them to be read and cherished.

I did experience a certain author 'borrowing' very specific world-building elements from me. I didn't really mind it but they could have left notes, kudos or comments or something on the fic they were borrowing from, it wasn't really elegant this way.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not to my knowledge, but writing them is already a translation process (pain).

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No but it would be so motivating to do that.

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

Well, Moiraine and the Green Man of course. Siuanraine but I'm not good at writing them so I just binge other authors' stories.

While they never meet in the books, I'm obsessed with Birgitte/Moiraine and how well they could understood each other's pain. I'm actually so obsessed that I have written 37,229 words about the topic. (Most of it is just post-TMOL fix it, they only meet in the last few chapters of the story)

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but probably won’t?

Probably the secret one. Also I always think that the next chapter would be the final one for Winternight's Tales and then the story just takes a turn at its own will.

16. What are your writing strengths?

My worldbuilding and the way I'm writing platonic relationships, probably. I think I'm good at writing entai as well :DDD.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

The Sex Scenes and my dialogues.. Also I'm writing these long sentences and it's so hard to change that habit.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I'm constantly writing dialogues in another language. It's hard.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

I've written a ballad for the Stargate fandom in my native tongue when I was a teenager. I got a comment on it on ff.net after I graduated from my bachelors but I was so happy about it :D

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

Dark Matter // Trip Through the Ways, I laughed so much when I was writing this one.

I'm going to be a creep and just tag the writers here I sort of know and like so much, @lakeofsilverpike @asuitablegirl96, @gabolange @woodytwig @onaperduamedee @poohsticksbridge, @thatordinaryoddity but no pressure!

[applestorms]

6, 11, 12

assuming this is for the ao3 ask game :>

6. Favorite title you used

for DN fics, superegos perhaps? i can't decide if i like longer or shorter fic titles lol, i was trying to keep 'em shorter at first but then salvation is a courtesy i will never let myself be granted came outta nowhere and ended that trend =3=" you must pay the price amused me greatly too (though the characterization in that fic kinda drives me insaneee aaaaa), and necronomical from my old SP fics.

11. What work took you the longest to write?

my most recent post, the lawlight heathers au :] i started that one waaay back in september and have been agonizing over it ever since LMFAO whatever i'll finish it One Day. praise the sweetness also took a while, though it was just sitting in the drafts finished for most of that time since i was waiting for the 31st to post it. make it stick also took a bit from what i remember, maybe about the same amount of time as praise (couple weeks)??

12. How many WIP’s do you have in your docs for next year?

uhm.

this is what my wip ideas list google doc looks like rn =3=" OK BUT. in all fairness though some of these aren't really Fic Ideas I'm Going To Write but random musings of thoughts/minor character reflections that might eventually lead to fics (for a whole variety of fandoms, too). idk shit's messy i think messy sometimes sue me

as for fics i'm actually working on Right Now... i currently have three google docs tabs open. and at least one of those is Guaranteed to be finish in december, since it's for the secret santa. shrug

[mumms-the-word]

#17 for the writer's asks. Like you have a schedule for Nautera, and I can't fathom writing fast enough to strick to a schedule 😭, or being certain I wouldn't want to change some parts until the fic is almost done. So I'm interested to hear what your process is!

Oh man this question is so complicated for me haha here we go. Looong answer ahead so I've put most of it under the cut!

17. talk about your writing and editing process

okay so let me start off by saying...I don't have a consistent process haha

I do up to a point. So most of the time for fic, when I get an idea, I'll mull it around in my head a bit, and I might jot down a few lines or notes I don't want to forget in the Notes app (either on my phone or on my laptop), and then I'll set it aside for when I have time to write it. Then I write it, read over it the next day for edits, put it in tumblr for another round of edits, and post it when I feel like I'm happy with it.

But in reality? Oof. It really just depends. (also TLDR, writing is a process, and I love my fanfic community <3)

Sometimes the inspiration to write a whole oneshot or scene takes me and I'll write out a first draft right there in the Notes app (I tend to sacrifice work when I do this, which is bad and often why I end up with so much unfinished work with deadlines staring me dead in the face at the last minute. So I do not recommend this, but hyperfixation will hyperfixate...) I believe I wrote the entire first drafts for Choosing to Live and Ascension, Return in one day each.

Other times, I'll come back to it and play around with it for a bit. Sometimes the writing is easy! Chapter 4 for In Fathoms Below was super fun for me to write (especially the last half) because I had battle music playing and I was just so excited to get to the dragon turtle reveal. Chapter 5, which will be a much more intense action/adventure scene, was significantly harder and took much longer. I think I spent several days, probably a week fighting with that chapter, because I wanted it to be good, fast-paced, and tense...but also make sense. I'll probably still mess with it before it posts on Friday.

Sometimes, I can write a whole scene/chapter in a day. Other times it takes me several days. It really just depends. Sometimes music helps. Sometimes I just can't make one single paragraph work and it frustrates me for days (*coughcoughCHAPTER 5cough*). Sometimes I write myself into a corner and I don't know how to fix what I did, but I'm too stubborn to delete anything just yet or start over. Not every chapter/scene/oneshot is the same!

Once I have a full draft of the chapter/oneshot, however, then I start to edit it. This also changes up depending on the project. For a oneshot, I might read through it twice on my Notes app, adjusting things as I go. I try not to write a full oneshot and post it on the same day so I can sleep on it and come back to it with a fresh brain (mini fics like the Nightfall and alone, finally fics don't count, I'll post those after two read-throughs on the same day because they are asks).

Once I'm half-satisfied with it in Notes, then I'll stick it into tumblr on my laptop and use the Grammarly widget to help catch grammar mistakes. Reading it in a different font/arrangement/format also helps with finding mistakes or catching awkward sentences. Once I'm happy with it on tumblr, I'll queue it up to post, and then copy/paste everything into AO3 and post it there once it goes live on tumblr.

For a chapter of my longfics, however, I might read it several times. I'll go back and read the previous chapter and then the current one to make sure I've kept things consistent and that everything flows or transitions from one chapter to the next, for example. I'll read it once a day for a couple of days (maybe skipping a day if I'm frustrated with it) and see what each new day brings in terms of edits, fixes, and ideas. With the Masquerade longfic, because it's kind of just for me and a friend (though I'm excited that others are enjoying it too!), I'll post the chapter as soon as I'm relatively satisfied with it, maybe only spending 2-3 days on edits (not counting time spent writing a full draft).

For the Nautera/Atlantis fic, however, because I know there's a bit more hype from 2-3 more readers (and people have been SO lovely in their comments on AO3 as well!! <3), I put a smidge more effort into it. For one, I set up a schedule and wrote several chapters in advance, because last week and this week is PACKED with deadlines and work I ignored while doing other things (ahem, like writing the Atlantis fic). I wrote 4 chapters pretty much in the span of a week and then held off posting any of them until I had a good queue lined up. Then I queued them up over two weeks.

The benefit to this is that it gives me breathing room to write at my own pace while still ensuring I have content for my readers...which is different than the Masquerade fic, which I kind of write "as the inspiration strikes" and so I don't update it nearly as consistently (sorry friends). Trust me, if I posted chapters as soon as I had them ready, I would've posted 4 chapters back to back on the same day or on 4 days, and then we'd be waiting 2-3 weeks (or months) for the next chapter. I'd get bogged down by shame, I'd contemplate quietly quitting the project, it would be a whole thing. The queue helps me and my readers. I really need to implement it for the masquerade fic too.

(I still have a queue going, actually. I currently have Nautera's chapter 5 queued up to post on Friday and chapter 6 in a "midway" draft stage, and the start of chapter 7 in Notes. I don't normally write that far ahead! But the idea has me in a chokehold...and I'd rather write it than work, unfortunately.)

HOWEVER. The benefit and downside to having the chapters queued up and being excited for them is that I can still mess with them. So for the Nautera/Atlantis chapters, they might sit in my queue for a week, and every day I might go back in and make tiny adjustments. So for some things, I might only do a day of edits, maybe 2 days. For something like the Nautera/Atlantis fic, though? I have a bad habit of messing with each chapter several times lol sometimes this is fine and sometimes I feel like I'm messing with them too much, you know?

All that said, for some reason, fics don't trigger my perfectionism, even knowing I have actual readers reading and responding to them. You'd think they would, but they don't. Unlike my original book projects, which trigger my perfectionism so bad I haven't finished several of them because I want to keep messing with them, fics are consumed so quickly I feel less pressure about sharing them. I think there's a kind of freedom in knowing that once it's posted, it's out there, for better or for worse. You can fix minor edits, but you don't necessarily have to sweat the small stuff because it's just fanfic, it's posted for free, and if people don't want to read it, it's not personal. It's been really fun, actually, and I love the little community I've built making BG3 fics for people (and for myself).

I think, also, it's been healthy for me to hone my writing craft/skills away from fandom spaces first. I didn't get an AO3 until this year and I'm in my late 20s. I think if I had tried to write fanfic when I was a teen or even in my early 20s, I'd be too obsessed with the numbers. At this point in my life, I'm just happy to get a couple of comments, and happier still that my writing brings 4-5 people joy <3

It also helps to remember the wise words of one of my graduate instructors when it comes to certain projects: Done is better than good. This is a life-saver for essays and school projects, of course, but for fic, I know we want our content to be good. So I'll adjust it for fic here:

Done is better than perfect.

[romanscool]

HIYAAAA it's Ocean 😽

First of all..... Happy holidays!!!!!🎄💫🩷

I know it's only November, but I'm really feeling the Christmas spirit

Anyways I came on to tumblr as I do once every 3 weeks and I saw you posted this ask game thingy so I'm about to bombard you with a bunch of these asks 😼

🎶 Do you listen to music while you write? What song have you been playing on loop lately?

✍ Do you have a beta reader?

🏡What is your perfect writing envrionment?

💻What do you write your stories on? Laptop, phone, paper, etc.

🍎What's something you learned while researching for a fic?

Yuh

hi hi hi!!!

happy holidays to you too!! and to be honest, I have been really excited for the Christmas and new years' spirit this year too for some reason unknown,,, maybe it's cause im excited for January haha

im so glad for that!! thanks so much for this ask <33

🎶 Do you listen to music while you write? What song have you been playing on loop lately?

I actually don't listen to music much while I write,, I'd much rather play a collection of F1 tiktok on loop haha - I have this weird thing where I need repetitive sounds to concentrate, something familiar that my brain doesn't need to focus on :') it's the neurodivergence in me I guess

i've had quite a long period of playing songs like 'We'll Never Have Sex' by Leith Ross, 'No One Noticed' by The Marias (or even 'White Ferrari' by Frank Ocean) on loop while writing the last couple chapters of wcmn,,, so if that helps, I like soft dull songs haha

✍ Do you have a beta reader?

I don't! sometimes I think that's unfortunate, considering English is very much not my first language, but I also quite like my weird syntaxes and made up words so,,, im happy about that :)

🏡What is your perfect writing envrionment?

definitely tucked deep in my bed with my cat sleeping on my shins (that little guy finds this weird weirdly comforting, though it's got to be a little awkward no?)! I'd much rather have background noise (like my repetitive tiktoks) than no noise, and sometimes find having someone -anyone- doing their thing next to me to be quite focusing. not even talking, just me writing and them doing whatever helps me concentrate for a reason I do not know haha

I've often found public transportation (like the bus or the tram) to be very inspiring too! though usually I only write my prompts/outlines/first drafts there because I tend to be easily distracted and write words and sentences that hold no meaning even to me

💻What do you write your stories on? Laptop, phone, paper, etc.

most of it all is written on my laptop (I like the little sounds of the keyboard) because I find that I write faster and more precisely on it. I sometimes write on my phone, especially if im on public transports, but my train of thought is quick to go everywhere and not make any sense,,,

🍎What's something you learned while researching for a fic?

so many things!!

I think the most 'impressing' is the whole learning dutch language, because I did initially start for wcmn and the dutch dialogue in it (though I've had to use some google translate also,,, sorry duolingo I guess)

a fun one is all the little baby/kid/teen maxiel stuff that I've also put in wcmn and it's little 'epilogue': all the little facts about Daniel being scared of the dark and max having his mum's dress from when he was born as a plushy is all canon!! I wish I could've added more of those in, but I tend to info dump a little too much, so I've decided to keep it to that ;') (for more info on this feel free to check the teen!maxiel tag though!!)

thank you so much for this ask ocean!! it's been lovely to answer all of those little emoji <3

hope you liked my answer, even if they're a little boring or over explained sometimes,,, I hope to hear from you again soon (even if its in three weeks time <3)

lots of love, roman

[elizaditton]

TSTBA And Life Update

Hey everyone, I thought I'd give an update on what's going on with me and on my progress with Too Small To Be Afraid. TL;DR at the bottom for those who just want the quick deets.

I've been struggling to work on the story since the start of the summer, mainly because I got a "real" job (as part of the IT department at a local high school). Despite the fact that it's only 17.5 hours a week (3.5 hours every weekday), it was a lot more than what I was used to (which was literally doing nothing except for volunteering at various places maybe one to three times a week), and it took me a really, really long time to adjust to that mentally. I would come home dead tired and just... not feel like writing. Or doing anything at all. Sometimes I'd come home at 3:00 pm and proceed to take The World's Longest Nap™ only to wake up when it was time to go to bed anyway. Part of this, I realize, is probably the result of an undiagnosed sleeping disorder of some kind (my psychiatrist says maybe sleep apnea) mixed with ADHD telling my brain to Not Work™. But yeah, this has been a major contributing factor in my lack of writing time recently. And on top of that, I got another job working for my church on Sundays as a Production Assistant, which has so far been awesome, but it means I'm also exhausted on weekends. Not only am I working 7 hours on Sunday (setup + rehearsal + service + do all that again for the second service), but I'm also waking up at 4:30 am now at the very latest on Sundays depending on what campus I'm working at. And on top of all that, I'm still working occasionally for my old boss one Saturday out of every month until he wants me to start coming in more frequently. So all in all, I'm pretty much working every day but Saturday, except for when I'm also working on Saturday. And I do enjoy working all of these jobs, it's just that I've been struggling to adjust to working so much and how to balance that with my hobbies and my home and family life. So there's been little time for writing these past few months.

The writing club I was a part of also lowkey disbanded as we haven't been meeting for several months. (Hi if any of you are reading this, I miss you guys lol.) Before we stopped meeting, I was pumping out a new chapter at least every two weeks, and it was amazing! I was part of a group that encouraged each other to write and on top of that even edited/critiqued each other's writing. I really do miss it. The group always got me so motivated to write during the week and to write during our meetings, and I haven't felt that same joy about writing since we stopped meeting. I'm thinking I'll start another writing group, either online or at my church. Leaning towards at my church since I need in-person contact with people, but idk hit me up if you're interested in an online writer's group??? Or being a beta reader???

Lastly, something that's actually related to the story itself. The plot. Hoooooooo boy the plot. The plot is... a thing that exists. There's things I want to tie into the story that I want to be a big deal, but I'm not sure if I introduced enough elements beforehand for things to make sense if I go the route I want? Then there's the fact that I look back at the first few chapters and sort of cringe, thinking of all the things I'd change if I would let myself have at it before the first draft is done. But yeah. Things are... going. I've been very, VERY slowly but surely working on fixing up things in my outline so I know where I'm going, but yeah, all the aforementioned has kinda made it hard to actually write.

So that's where I've been. So where do we go from here?

For one thing, I'm at least somewhat confident that chapter 18 WILL come out in the next few weeks, before the end of the month. It's going to be a long one, and I hope it's worth the wait.

I previously had a goal of finishing my first draft by the end of the year, but if I'm honest, I'm thinking I won't get there until at least the spring of 2025. And then, of course, after that comes editing, revising, rewriting, and so on. I'll likely be writing at least a second draft before I even think about printing.

But can you expect me to update more regularly from now on? To be honest, I have no idea. All I know is that this book is still my dream, and I haven't given up on it yet. As long as this fire continues to burn within me, I'm going to continue to write. As long as it takes. Until it's done. But maybe starting another writing club would help hold me accountable for regular updates, ha ha.

Thank you all for your unwavering support as I've gone through this journey. Whenever I see someone's been enjoying this story, it fills me with so much joy, you don't understand. I hold every little comment close to my heart.

Thanks for reading, and I hope to see you soon with an update to the story!

TL;DR: I suddenly acquired three jobs and am very tired all the time. This combined with no accountability after my writing club lowkey disbanded has made writing difficult. I'm still writing, slowly but surely. Expect a new (and long) chapter this month for sure. Hmu if interested in starting a writing club/being a beta reader btw

[suleikashideaway]

2023

So I see a lot of people around here with their various wrapped updates regarding the progression of their art. I never really considered that I had much to say, considering I'm such a baby writer and haven't actually published anything. Who am I to join the conversation?

On reflection, I do have a lot to say, and yeah, it's worth saying. 2023 was a big year for me as a writer. So for posterity's sake, I want it known here in my blog.

The big project: FF8

Technically I've been working on a final fantasy 8 fic for years at this point. The fact that it's so personal and complicated kept me from sharing it with anyone. It was for me. It made me happy. But this was the year I decided to at least start the attempt at making it publishable.

After several drafts of this story, early this year I finally reached a point where I could write THE END and mean it. At something close to 140k words, It felt like I had climbed a mountain. Of course, now I look back and see that it was a tiny little baby hill, but it was maybe one of the most important hills I've ever walked.

To my surprise, I found a beta right away, and from there my 2023 trajectory took off into the stratosphere. They know this already, but I have to thank my beta (and now one of my very best friends) @failed221b-chill for lifting me out of the solitude and teaching me so much about everything, but especially taking on the role of my personal writing tutor. Together we went line-by-line through part 1 of my 3-part story, and my little baby writing mind EXPLODED.

Lemme tell ya. The confidence I gained from that. Woof.

It was also made very clear that I had my work cut out for me. Not only did I decide to double the entire fucking thing (by adding in another POV that was initially going to be a separate work), but I realized I needed to rewrite pretty much all of my existing draft.

In the span of a few weeks, I drafted over 35k of the other POV for part 1. With my newfound writing knowledge, I'm going through, line-by-line, and making this story what I want it to be.

Though I feel like I've grown exponentially as a writer, I still feel like this fic, as it stands, is not ready for publishing. Part 1 is almost there...I'm inching closer every day...but I don't know how long it will take to get it done to my satisfaction.

And I'm okay with that. My original goal was to have the entire 3-part thing written and completely done before publishing. Now, I may consider sharing before that goal is accomplished. Stay tuned.

Another Project: Stardew Valley

Something I learned incidentally (that I bet a bunch of other people have already learned before me, and here I am trying to reinvent the wheel of course) was that I actually needed another writing project to bounce back and forth between. Before this year, in between writing my ff8 fic, I wrote an entire Stardew Valley slow burn romance harvey/farmer fic, probably around 150k words. It was extremely cathartic and fun to write butttt I reread it now and cringe, hard, at my lil baby writing skills. I'll never delete it, because obviously it was another little baby hill I needed to climb. But as it is, it will never see the light of day lol. I keep having thoughts of how to completely rewrite this piece, but at the moment it's pretty vague. Not sure I'll ever return.

Instead, I was wildly inspired by @not-poignant's take on Alex, and feverishly wrote my first-ever Alex stuff, somewhere around 12k words. This is currently sitting on a back-burner, awaiting my soul-searching to decide what I really want from the piece.

What's Next?

My ff8 fic will always have precedence. But it's a mammoth. And due to the nature of the content, it is sometimes emotionally very difficult for me to write it. Sooooo it may be a while. That's okay with me.

In the meantime, I'm super excited that the first @ffviiicharacterweek is happening in January!!! It's given me an opportunity to write much shorter pieces that I never would have gotten around to. Hopefully I'll be able to participate fully and enjoy the works that come out of that.

Overall, it's been a damn good year for writing.

So anyway, if anyone has given this post the time of day, thanks for sticking it out to the end! I'm certainly open for chatting about any of this stuff, or if you just want to talk I'm up for that, too! I hope you have a joyous new year!

[zee-has-commitment-issues]

I'm 100% stealing this from @pagegirlintraining

AO3 wrapped (writer’s edition)

I had a long year, so I didn't get to write as much as I would have liked to, but we still got a ton done.

1. How many words have you written this year? 180,453 words.

2. How many works did you publish this year? Somehow the answer is eleven.

3. What work are you most proud of (regardless of kudos/hits)? Reckless Abandon. Hands down. It took so much time to plan and so much energy to write and I am so proud of it. I'm writing the ending of the first draft right now and I'm sad to leave it behind.

HOWEVER I also very much enjoyed The Last Time, which is my Nilcent fic. I think just in terms of quality, this is one of my most beautifully written fics.

4. What work of yours has the most hits? The fics I have with the most hits is Reckless Abandon, but I think that's because it's the only one from this year that had more than one chapter.

5. What work of yours got more feedback than you expected? Dress Up As ! I wrote that in like 30 minutes while half asleep and then didn't edit it, so I didn't think anyone would read it at all lol. It's not my most popular fic by any means, but more people read it than I thought would.

6. Favorite title you used? Wilhelm's Frog Addiction because it's so ridiculous. It implies that Wilhelm needs a rehab for frogs, and I think that's great.

7. If you use song lyrics, which artist’s songs did you pull from the most? I used the title of The Last Time from a Taylor Swift song, but I think that was the only one.

8. Pairing you wrote the most for this year? Wilhelm/Simon Eriksson with 9 out of 11 fics being about them or containing them in some way. (damn thats an unfortunate statistic)

9. Favorite pairing you wrote for this year? Obviously Wilmon. I feel like that's a given at this point.

10. What work was the quickest to write? Dress Up As... again, I wrote it in 30 minutes while half asleep💀

11. What work took you the longest to write? If we rule out the one that's multi-chapter for fairness sake, then the fic that took me the longest to write was probably Not Entirely Screwed (But Almost). But take that with a grain of salt.

12. How many WIPs do you have in your docs for next year? Two or three that I actually plan on finishing. I have others that are started, but I don't know if I have enough plot to actually get through them.

13. What’s your longest work of the year? Reckless Abandon, containing 123k of my 180k words this year 💀

14. What’s your shortest work of the year? A Fool Proof Guide - 507 words.

15. What WIP are you taking into next year with you? Finishing Reckless Abandon! One chapter to edit and an epilogue to finish writing, and then it's done. I just can't finish it in the two days I have left of the year 😭

16. What’s your most common “Additional Tags” tag? Simon Eriksson Loves Wilhelm, followed by Wilhelm Loves Simon Eriksson

17. Your favorite character to write this year? I simply cannot answer this. My mind has been so consumed with Reckless Abandon and the switching POVs that I literally cannot choose one.

18. What’s one pairing you want to explore next year? I think I might like to write more of Felice's platonic pairings next year. I feel like I neglect her because I don't really ship her with anyone.

19. Which work of yours have you reread the most? The Thing In The Mirror. It's kind of a love letter to my grief, so sometimes I go back and read it when I'm feeling down.

20. How many kudos in total did you get this year? 2,754

21. Which work has the most comments? Reckless Abandon, but again, it's the only one with more than one chapter so that makes sense.

22. Did you do any collaborative works this year? Not this year! Maybe next year. Dani and I don't write "together" per se, but we do bounce a lot of ideas off each other, so if that counts then yes, but nothing plotted and written and posted together.

23. Did you write any gifts this year? I did! I wrote for YR Week, which wasn't a gift, but an event. And I wrote a Christmas gift for Nic!

24. Did you receive any gifts this year? Yes yes yes! A beautiful, perfect Christmas gift from @pagegirlintraining I enjoyed every word of it.

25. What’s your most common category? M/M

26. What do you listen to while writing? Not much, actually. I have the Reckless Abandon Playlist, but I only really used that when outlining.

27. Favorite work you wrote this year? For the sake of not repeating myself, out off the ones I haven't mentioned yet, Isn't That Your Thing? and Patience Is A Virtue are my favorite little crack fics.

28. Favorite line/passage you wrote this year? Oh jesus, that's impossible. I don't think I can choose just one. I can give you one that makes me think "holy shit I can write" though:

This piece of work — the one staring Stella in the face — was a revolution made of oil paint. 

29. Biggest surprise while writing this year? I can write smut. And people don't hate it somehow.

Thank y'all for a fun year. Can't wait to see what my brain does to torture us all in the next one.