#i'm going to post one of these a day until we get to the new chapter

[dont-look-its-embarrassing]

Inner Ace pt.2

The Hunting Incident

I'm glad you guys like this idea! Personally, I couldn't really jive well with the image of Feyre just balls to the wall learning how to hunt suddenly and being perfect at it to survive. This storyline was my original bridge for that in my mind, so I am glad that it went well with you all :)

Update right before I post; I'm going to be honest I got EXTREMELY carried away with this one, so I apologize for the length...

Summary: As the time went by and tensions rose between the human lands and fae, the IC have been working tirelessly to try and maintain a balance and a new ally. As The High Lord and Lady cannot be outside their court for long (as other matters must be attended to in preparation for the war), Azriel is designated liaison for reporting back on the movements and whereabouts of the human queens. Having become friends through Feyre, Azriel finds himself spending more time with the human girl, coming to his own conclusion of close friendship and more? Late nights between the two have confusing tensions rise, that is until the Inner court makes a group stop to check in with Y/n before talking with the queens. An accident has not only the IC realizing this bond might go deeper then friends, but a realization within the Spymaster himself as he finds himself gazing at the beautiful woman more often than not.

Warnings: injury, cannon typical violence, fluff, sexual tension, (a little) angst, potential non-cannon faebane workings (ngl some of it is lost on me), non-cannon time (meaning it is a bit longer of a timeline bc wym this all happened in less than a couple years?!), injury, alcohol consumption

Pt 1 Masterlist

WC (I forgot this in the first part, oops): 11,301

The time that Feyre and the males came and went from her home left Y/n's head spinning. Although for a couple days, the relief and warmth within her home was notably missing upon their departure back to their court. Although Y/n understood that Feyre had in fact become an influential power figure within their world, the hole that she leaves when her presence is gone always has Y/n reeling. She wouldn't describe herself as some who is dependent on another person or her friends, but it sure does make the cold nights a bit warmer with the promise of seeing them tomorrow. Y/n had grown extremely close to the bunch within her home. As her status of 'best friend' with Feyre was any sort of key, the rest of the males quickly followed suit with dinners and time spent with each other talking and getting to know about the other party. Although Cassian had to be cut off with some of the stupid invasive questions he asked the girl, it only fueled the bond that they all began to share. It made the goodbye (although not for forever) harder for them all.

"You need to come back and see me." Y/n had eyed the Feyre down, not allowing her to break. "This isn't a request or some sort of bargain that I don't understand. You are going to make time for a sit-down gossip session like we used to have."

Laughing as if this plan would happen within a week, at most, Feyre had embraced Y/n in an all-encompassing hug.

"Of course."

Giving a nod and pulling away, Y/n's eyes had met that of the High Lord, Rhys. Upon a small chat with Feyre, Y/n had been informed that this man, or male, was Feyre's forever bond or something. He had offered a warm smile, one that Y/n sent back easily.

Again, something that the human girl didn't fully understand, but respected none the less.

"Thank you for letting us stay. I know that it was a risk, we won't forget that and are in your debt." The small eye roll that Y/n couldn't hold made him chuckle.

"Relax there, lover boy." A nickname that again, upon hearing about her best friend's lover, was given. It had caused an exaggerated aghast look when Y/n had used it only days ago, which also made her tense in worry that she had insulted him, but the loud laughs that Feyre couldn't hold in let her tension ease.

The chuckle to her right brought her attention to the gentle giant that she now knows as Cass. He was a breeze to get along with to say the least. Although her initial assessment as him being the biggest- thus- scariest was the most far off out of the three. Granted, he was a force to be reckoned with, but amongst friends he was nothing but a pile of jokes, laughs and warmth.

His large stature altered a bit sideways as he folded his large wings into himself further as to not hit his brother, turning towards Y/n.

"I'm offended I didn't get an invite to this gossip session." The human girl laughed while giving a hug into the side of the larger male.

"You can't gossip when the topic of the gossip is there." She joked. Shaking his head, Cassian offered another squeeze to her body before letting go and stepping back a bit.

Then all who was left was Azriel.

The very male that she admittedly harbored a small stupid crush on as his soft shadows continued to swirl around her space. They had had multiple conversations, but also multiple silences, just allowing each other to exist in the other's company. Over these past few days, it was found that they had very similar sleeping habits, finding it hard to find peace to rest and keeping them up to all hours of the night. Initially, the small creek of the Spymaster sneaking out of his room the first night had Y/n shooting up off the couch, throwing the book she had been reading to the ground. Azriel had apologized that night for startling her, but it was also the night they became comfortable within the space together.

"Can't sleep?" Her voice was soft, soft enough to have the spymaster's eyes flutter slightly at the sound. Her silhouette was illuminated by the hearth that still flickered in life, it made the curve of her form warm and inviting to his eye. The setting was oddly, intimate.

"No, sadly." He offered. Y/n nodded while taking ahold of her hands, laying them in front of herself. Azriel realized it wasn't a defensive or uncomfortable gesture, just one that was simply inquiring. Not knowing what else to offer, Azriel attempted to meet her halfway realizing he had stepped into her impromptu 'room' as she had given away her only beds to himself and his court. "Cassian snores."

Azriel winced the moment the sentence came out of his mouth. Never in his life has he felt so inept to talk to a female.

However, nothing could prepare him for the soft bell like sound of a hushed giggle that resonated from Y/n. Her eyes held mirth as she picked up the book from the floor and moved her bedding over on the larger seat, placing herself in one of the corners.

"Well, you are more than welcome to come here for some peace. I normally read until much later." Offering the seat on the other corner of the more comfortable couch Azriel couldn't push down the budding warmth that spread within his chest.

Y/n couldn’t help it. She didn’t know why her nerves settled with this fae in particular, but the dry remark of Cassian snoring had her defensive pacifism towards him dropping like the dead. He looked just as lost and hesitant as she was, she couldn’t help but giggle at it. The image of this tall, dark and handsome powerful being having the same reserves about someone as frail as herself made this whole ‘I should be worried’ thing seem petulant. If he truly meant her harm, she knew she would’ve already been dead.

He stood there for a moment, Y/n assumed he was trying to figure out what to do about the offer.

“There are some novels on the shelf under the stairs.” She offered. “You’re more than welcome to help yourself if you need something to pass the time.”

"Thank you." His tone was soft enough to match Y/n's as he took a step or two over to the desired pages. Assessing the shelf's titles, he grabbed one, grey in color. Brining himself back to the offered seat, Y/n made sure to do one more check to see if he had space to sit and adjust. Upon his weight settling on the cushion less than a foot away from her, she relaxed back into her position.

A soft silence settled over the two as the popping of the fire's light licked at their skin.

Azriel didn't know how much time had passed, he was a good chunk of his novel through, when he glanced back to the human girl. Y/n had been fully engrossed in the story that played before her. Luckily, the binding of the book didn't give way to the soft love story that unfolded within the pages. The glimmer in her eye caught by the Spymaster as a question flooded his mind. Without much thought, he let his inquiry slip through his lips, falling victim to the comforting nature of his company.

"How do you know how to read?" The deep baritone broke Y/n out of her trance. However, the question made an easy sly smile spread on her face. Slowly turning her head to meet Azriel's gaze, Y/n couldn't tell if it was the warmth of the fire that painted his cheeks in a dusty rose, of it he truly didn't think before he spoke.

Azriel wanted the floor to swallow him.

What was he thinking?

How do you know how to read? Really.

The laughs of his shadows taunted him as he swallowed, beginning to try and dig himself out of his never-ending hole.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that-" Scanning her face, that sly smile and raised brows queued him into her train of thought just enough to cut himself off. "You think it's funny." He whispered a deadpan.

"I think this is hilarious, to be quite frank." Y/n closed her book, placing it at her side while returning her attention back to the male. "Out of the two of us, I should be the one stumbling over my words and saying the wrong things."

A sigh followed through her lips; Az fought himself to lean closer.

"But here you are, all of you." Y/n gestured to the bulk of the male on the couch, "Do I make you nervous?"

Azriel allowed his shoulders to fall, melt into the space and even felt his guard lower enough for the girl to peek through.

"I haven't figured that out yet." He offered, placing his book down as well, allowing himself to turn towards the girl. A brief pause as they looked at each other.

"You were asking that because Feyre couldn't, right?" Y/n began. Az nodded a simple 'yes', allowing her to bring her knees to her chest, getting comfortable. "I barely knew myself when I found her, and we became close. I had maybe two, no, three books?" Y/n's eyes had glazed in memory.

"It was always on the list of things to try and teach her, but I could only work so fast." The spymaster quirked his head towards her at that, an elaborative gesture. "Survival seemed more important." Was all Y/n gave him. She had hoped it wasn't received as a 'I don't want to talk about it', but it was simply a sore spot for her. She had faulted herself on all the things she never got to do with her best friend, but truly, some things were more important.

"From when she left, I got better. Taught myself to read more sophisticated books to a degree and attempting to write when I could." Y/n looked down, blush coating her cheeks. "I still can't write very well. It isn't super legible."

Azriel had imagined this was similar to how his brother felt upon realizing the female in front of him was pushed aside on something so vital but simple.

"Would you like to practice? I can help."

"You are only going to be here for a couple days."

"I'll be back." Y/n was surprised at the instancy and promise that laced Azriel's voice. For her, she would be lucky to see Feyre again after this, but now, there is another promise for someone else to come see her. For someone else to care about seeing her.

"Okay." The heat didn't leave her cheeks for the rest of the night as their conversation continued after that, soft and vulnerable in nature. As the rest of the house slept, it would be a little secret of theirs and routine for the following days. Every night, right as Cassian would start to snore within the shared bedroom, Y/n could count on the shadow of wings and a soft hum of blue stones making his way down to the couch, grabbing a book on his way.

"I'll be back." Azriel said, bringing back Y/n the present. His tone wasn't as warm as that night, but the underlying promise still stood prominent between them. A small elbow jab into the side of Rhys had him turning to his mate, clocking the excitement in her eyes as she watched the two.

You are sending him back here upon the earliest opportunity.

Of course, Feyre darling.

Y/n hadn't moved from her spot and Azriel didn't know if he should go for an embrace like his brother or keep his distance. Everything in his being told him closer, closer, closer.

Closer. Closer. Closer. Embrace. She wants it. Embrace.

Or it was just his shadows pushing him towards her. Y/n had noticed during the time they spent together; his shadows couldn't help but flock to the similar nape of her neck like they had done the night they met. Upon its repeated offense, Y/n had assured the spymaster that it was a welcomed experience and to not worry about it. To her, she couldn't quite grasp the whole 'they are a part of me' conversation, so in her mind, every so often the slipped out from his control.

Azriel didn't correct this way of thinking at all. In fact, he indulged in it more than he probably should have. When she had left for the woods, a small cluster of them had followed her without much of her knowledge. Anytime her frame was out of his gaze a small tendril would follow, reporting back to its' owner of any inconvenience or issue that she might come across. It was a precautionary measure for his high lady's best friend, at least that is what he told himself as his mind eased with the quick sight of shadow darting behind her neck.

The brush of wind and breath against Y/n's ear had her shiver slightly. Even without a welcome embrace of the male, this was oddly more him.

As the group funneled out of the door, the promise of aid and help floated in her direction before they had disappeared into what seemed was the wind.

She wouldn't see anyone from that group again until a week or so later when a rapt on her door drew her attention from the meal she was prepping for that night. She hadn't been expecting anyone, her normal buyer for game wasn't set to arrive until next week and her produce hadn't grown in for the month yet to be selling, so Y/n was at a loss.

Hesitantly making her way to the door, she stopped to listen to see if anyone would inquire about who they were or what they wanted. Upon pressing her hands against the door in preparation to crack it open, a familiar breath against her ear made an involuntary smile take ahold of her features.

"You know, it is pretty cold out here. Could you please open the door?" The voice of Azriel came out muffled through the wood.

Y/n couldn't open the door quick enough to grab the male and drag him inside.

A small chuckle rung from him as he followed her in quickly.

"You can't do that!" She chastised, quickly closing the curtains and peeping out the window to make sure nobody was around.

"I didn't want to be rude."

"Ya? Well, be rude. You will get yourself killed otherwise."

"Am I supposed to just winnow in here then?"

"Win what?" Azriel stopped, placing a small sack down on the couch, turning to her with amusement in his eyes. His brow raised in question, asking to continue, it had Y/n nodding.

"Remember when we left?" Y/n nodded again; the motion making the spymaster's chest flutter. "It seemed that we just..." He searched for the word, "disappeared?"

"Yes, I assumed one of you had magic wind powers that no one told me about." Y/n knew she sounded stupid, ignorant even, but this whole experience made her ignorant to what felt like everything. However, Y/n would be as ignorant as she needed to be to elicit the loud laugh that came from Azriel. He was sat down now, all but sprawled on the couch in laze. The two had been comfortable before, now with his return it seemed they had entered a much deeper trust.

"No, that's not-" another laugh, "not how it works." Y/n followed suit, letting herself settle on the nearby seat. She giggled at the situation.

"What? You can't expect me to get that right first guess." Her giggles filled in the space between Azriel's now dwindling laugh.

"It is actually close now that I think about it." Looking to her again he began his short explanation. "It is some sort of magic. Cassian can't do it."

"Ah, I see. Doesn't have the ol' flare that the rest of you have?" The spymaster didn't want to think to clearly about the ease in which this girl pulled a relaxed smile from him.

"No, I guess not." He had continued with his little explanation, Y/n nodding the whole way through. Upon his finale she had adjusted herself to stand again. His eye's grazed over her form as she stood.

"Where are you going?" Her cheeks warmed.

"Just to add some more ingredients for dinner."

"Oh, speaking of which..." Az had reached for the bad he had tossed onto the furniture earlier, prying open the top. Reaching in he had grabbed a handful of a smaller pouch that resided in it. Upon tossing it towards Y/n, her hand instinctually catching it from the air. It was heavy and 'clinked' when it landed within her palm, that familiar weight and sound had the girl's eyes widening. "That is from the court."

"By the gods, this is a little much for a couple months, no?" It wasn't that Y/n was ungrateful, but a pouch filled as much as this one could have her living more than comfortably for a long time around here.

"It isn't that much Y/n."

"Yes, it is."

"Not for Rhys."

"Still, I feel bad."

"Why do you feel bad?"

"Because I feel like I'm using you guys."

"You are not using us."

"Really? Because how heavy this is I would say I'm using."

"Just take the coins Y/n."

"Okay."

Y/n twirled back towards the kitchen, quickly finding her stash of money and hiding it away. The quick banter between the two lingering in the air as a grin still remained on both of their faces. Following through with her plan, Y/n began adding some more portions to the already marinating meats.

The hours passed by quickly, an ease of comfort and warmth enveloping the two while Azriel got his tasks in order for what he needs to find and where he could go to find it. Y/n didn't pry much about his work, obviously seeing the tenseness gradually seeping into his form with each shadow that would return to him. So, as dinner came and went, the girl had made herself busy preparing his room and planning her route for the next day.

When she came back to the living room moments later, Y/n was surprised to see the lack of the hulking male that was once sat on her couch. Picking up her pace, she had quickly cracked the front door to see if he had left by foot. Upon finding no footprints on the snow, she shut the door and returned to cleaning up the place a bit more before his return.

Hours ticked by, Y/n had changed and prepped for bed quietly stepping back into her living room, grabbing the latest novel on her way. She had adorned a simple nightgown, nothing fancy or elaborate like what she had seen the Archerons wear after Feyre's departure, but the garment was divine to sleep in, emphasizing the "gorgeous silhouette" that her best friend had insisted about. She had worn it many times before, but the idea of the Spymaster seeing her in it had her heart skip a beat at the thought.

Y/n had taken her seat across from the fire that cackled, opened her novel, and began to read.

Azriel was annoyed.

He had gotten a whisper from one of his shadows about movement within one of the queen's guards and upon his departure, he didn't even have time to leave a note. Az knew that she wouldn't fret after hearing the summary of winnowing hours prior, but the thought of her looking for him without explanation about his absence struck a chord within his chest. He had been staked out for hours, not moving or even twitching from his position amongst the dark. The whispers continued to circle him, all reporting the same thing.

He had wasted his time tonight, there was nothing substantial going on with the Human Queen.

He let the vein in his forehead throb with the clench of his jaw. He had turned once more, checking the area around himself before settling on the decision to leave. His body almost longed for warmth despite his anatomy making it very hard for him to be actually cold. Azriel stopped his thought before he could dive any deeper on the thought of the specific heat he craved.

Home. Back. Beauty. Soft. Beauty. Leave.

It was a drug he couldn't quit. Without much else of a thought, Azriel had allowed his shadows to take him back to your little house that stood at the edge of the wall. Taking your prior conversation (and as much of a threat as Y/n could conjure towards him), he had winnowed right into the living room, bypassing the door.

Warm. Soft. Beauty. Look. Look. Look.

Azriel's eyes had trailed over to the couch, Y/n's form capturing his attention immediately. His shadows hadn't been lying, the way you laid was that of a spiritual sight. The curve of your body held gently by a soft looking nightdress that she must've put on after he left. The familiar lick of the hearth's light caressing her softly, almost akin to the most attuned lover, kissing her skin and shadows.

I was a sight that Azriel forced himself to memorize, and one that he knew he would see in his dreams to come.

It was obvious that you had been reading, the novel fallen on to the floor with some pages crinkled with its own weight.

Although Azriel didn't want to disrupt the sight of something so vulnerable and captivating, the thought of her sore body the next day from a fitful rest on the used couch made him move quickly. He had prayed to whatever deity that listened that his 'quiet' reputation proceeded him as he took steps on the creaking floor to get to Y/n without waking her. Upon his success, he let out a silent breath.

As effortless as she looked, Azriel had picked her up cradling her to himself as securely as possible without altering her form. Her slight sigh and twitch had him stalling for a moment, checking her heartbeat to ensure she was in fact still asleep. With his confirmation, he began his trek up the stairs and towards her room. He had passed by it multiple times during his prior time with his court, but holding her now as he placed her onto the bed, it stirred that inexplainable flutter in him.

Az had wanted to start helping Y/n on her writing tonight, but the subtle (although meaningless) shift in guard had pulled him away.

Tomorrow night then.

Y/n was ecstatic to have the spymaster around for as long as he did. Although only a couple days, the two had bonded and laughed with each-other. Much to Yn’s surprise, Az had been adamant on beginning her practice with a pen. It was a bit rough in the beginning, but by the end of his stay she was confident in some of the letters and how they flowed.

But sadly as all things do, he had to return home.

It was another awkward goodbye, this time the brush of his shadows lingered, almost matching the lingering gaze he shared with her. Y/n had sworn she almost got lost in it.

He had left her with the same promise as before.

“I’ll be back.” Then the male all but vanished from her door.

The next time he had stopped by it was in a flurry of motion, one that even had Y/n reeling. He had apologized before vanishing away only to be back in the middle of the night. Upon the sun rising, he had left a platter of produce on the table with another small pouch of coins and a note explaining his hasty departure.

It made Y/n smile, although disappointed she couldn’t see him more.

Occurrences like that became common for the two. His stays never lasting more then a couple of days at most before he was gone again. Through Azriel’s increased trips, Feyre had akin him to a letter boy with all of her messages and small trinkets that she wished to tell her still human best friend. As for Y/n? She couldn’t be happier in her life if she tried. Sure, Feyre wasn’t here with her next door and the male she has come to crush on like had their own demons to fight which took their time, but for the first time in a very long time Y/n felt remembered.

Even though the last trip that Azriel had taken tested the waters between the two, and Y/n would be damned if she didn’t stay up at night in embarrassment.

The breath against her ear didn’t startle Y/n anymore. She had become akin to the soft silken caress of the spymasters shadows and even reveled in their touch when they caressed her neck. The snow had officially begun to melt by now, the ground slowly becoming soft as the sky broke away to the sun once more.

“I need to wash the bedding in your room before you retire for the night.” She had twirled around, gentle and soft, adding to the allure of the scent of fruit that she had been cutting prior. There stood Azriel, as beautiful as ever, in her foyer looking over her form. It was a welcome gesture as since as much as she had tried capture his attention, he seemed as fortified as a fortress. Y/n would be lying if she said she didn’t attempt to try and test the boundaries between them. A glance here, accidental brush there, the best of her wardrobe when preparing dinner for herself hoping he would snatch her away.

The last thought was a bit much, but her mind didn’t care.

Az had noted a couple visits prior, sent a compliment towards her and the dress she had managed to adorn through the leftovers of the last coin pouch. It was a frivolous purchase, but she knew she needed to be a bit more open to receiving help as Feyre would have her had (and no doubt Azriel’s) if she didn’t.

“Don’t fret if it isn’t done until later.” The Spymaster assured. Y/n couldn’t help but throw a questioning glance at him. “I have to check something out for a bit and report. Might be a little while.”

“Shall I count you for dinner?” Y/n had hopes he would as she had missed him from his time away. “I’m going to grab some drinks from the market today, I was hoping you would try them with me.”

“I should hope so. If not this will be a long night.” Y/n smiled at that.

“Any specific types of drink you prefer?”

“Whatever you favor.” Azriel did not know much of human alcohol, he assumed there was the standard of wine, but that was as far as he had ventured. It wasn’t worth much to fae as it was not nearly as potent to have any sort of effects.

“Ah, I well then it’ll be a surprise to us both.” Y/n had turned around fully, back to her task, and also to hid the slight brushing of red that dusted her cheeks. She was embarrassed by her lack of experience, but he didn’t need to know that.

Obviously, Azriel figured it out, and quickly at that. Her hesitance with accepting his answer along with the slight rush of her heart and as a dead giveaway. Thinking about it now he assumed that there wasn’t much that this human girl could lie to him about that he wouldn’t catch. Az knew he can read people well, but this was almost effortless, as if he was attuned to those emotions.

He also knew that since her experience was limited, if at all, she would definitely have 0 tolerance.

Even if Az would be caught up in the most perilous situation (he wouldn’t be, but even so) he would make sure to find himself back at this little house by sundown.

As for Y/n, the idea that the male would be there for the experience brought a sense of comfort to her. Yes, it wasn't Feyre like she had hoped as since they had planned to get her 'inebriated' according to her best friend, but it was someone.

Y/n wouldn't be alone.

Plus, the person she would spend the experience with was a hulking dark and handsome male, so that was a huge bonus.

It wasn't long before Azriel had head out, making sure to bid a small farewell and promise to see her tonight. Y/n had taken this opportunity to not only tidy up the house, make sure his room was cleaned and ready, but also to make herself a bit more presentable to head into town. It wasn't often that she ventured this way, most times she was fresh from the forest and outside her house skinning the latest kill for fur and cuts of meat. Occasionally she would venture in with produce and some wheat she could grow year-round, both instances made for dirty work and one that wasn't very presentable.

Now as she ventures that way, freshly bathed, adorning new clothes and smelling like berries; Y/n felt new.

She had missed the glances her way from the men around her, and the warmth she was received with from the elderly women as she walked by. The way she had held herself was that of a below common person, but in the eyes of the people, she was anything but. If they hadn't watched the girl grow up there would be no doubt that she would be mistaken for the very thing they feared most from her beauty alone.

"Hello." Y/n found herself standing outside a small storefront, the walls adorned with bottles. Within the booth, a smaller man sat, a worn cap on his head. He received her with a smile.

"What can I help you with ma'am?" Y/n roamed her eyes over the shelf hesitantly. The different bottle heights, sizes and colors making her indecisive. The shop keep must've seen the nervousness in her eyes as he let out a small chuckle.

"I can give you some recommendations, if you would like?"

The breath of relief was audible from the girl.

"Yes please."

"What is the occasion?" The question wasn't targeted or sly of any sort, more so inquiring for a better understanding of what he should recommend to Y/n, but she couldn't help but nervously ring her neck where a small wisp hid as blush spread over her skin. She had a small hope that (despite not knowing how they work) her hand clasping over the small silken thing would stop it from potentially hearing the conversation.

"I have a friend coming for dinner tonight."

"Do you want something to pair with the meal or for after?" A small amount of mirth entered the man's eyes as he mentioned beyond the food. It made the color darken on Y/n's neck and spread to her ears.

"I'm not sure..." She hesitated; it was so out of her element for her to even think such a thing could happen for her. Yeah, aside a couple nights with Feyre where they wanted to "practice" and learn with someone they were comfortable with (at least some of it), Y/n hadn't been with anyone. The thought of her being entrapped in passion, much like the books she enjoys every so often, with another had her already nervous stomach filling with flutters. It only increased when the thought of the fae male being the one to spend it with. "Both?"

She didn't mean to say it as a question, really. The man's grin widened as he nodded, turning around to his inventory. He reached under the counter, shuffling some things out of the way before grabbing what he desired. Before a second passed, he had placed a short red bottle on the counter. Y/n eyed it carefully as the lowering sun's rays hit it perfectly to see the rose-colored liquid inside.

"Pair this with any sort of fruit or shoot it straight. It can be sipped on or mixed." Y/n nodded, checking the price as he turned around again. She could easily get the bottle and another with the ruminants of the coin purse that Az had brought his last visit. Upon fixing his room up earlier, she had seen another stashed away in his bag with her initial on it. She wanted to give the small delicate fabric bag back to the spymaster as she had felt bad for having it as long as she did, so a little drink would be the perfect occasion to use it on.

"Red or white meat tonight for dinner?"

As Y/n ventured back towards the house, the sun began to officially set beyond the tree line. She had picked up a bit of pace on her way back to make sure she had enough time to put on the slip dress she adored so much. Upon her arrival home, Y/n glanced at the windows (which remained curtain shut as to keep out the eyes of others) in hopes to potentially see the outline of a male. She had left fireplace lit and the candle lanterns around the house going as to make sure he had light if he did come back early. Entering the house however, Y/n didn't feel the presence of the shadows or their master within. Placing the alcohol on the table, Y/n made her way upstairs to change and freshen up her appearance.

Upon her satisfaction she made her way back downstairs and to the table where the drinks lie.

She had taken them out of the bag, placing the wine she had purchased for the meal on the small table. Keeping the smaller red bottle with her as she went to the cabinet, Y/n grabbed two cups.

She didn't have any fancy glassware so this would have to do. She highly doubted Azriel would mind.

Placing the cup she meant for him on the table next to the wine, Y/n couldn't help the wandering eye towards the little red bottle that stood ominously on the counter. The way the fire licked at the color looked taunting, but the continued flutter in her stomach at the thought of the spymaster had an idea popping in her head.

Maybe she should try it. Just a little.

Y/n had to make sure it was good before she served it, right?

Before she let herself think too much on the decision, the human girl had popped the lid off, poured a couple seconds into the glass, and shot it back.

The taste was not something she had expected in the slightest. It was sweet, to a degree, with a smoothness that allowed it to gently slide down her throat. The heat that came with the liquid surprised her. Her chest that had been tight all day with the image of her guest warmed and relaxed, the feeling still lingering, but did not have as much of a hold on her.

Y/n like this liquid, she had hopes Azriel would too. Maybe he would even compliment her for picking it out.

A small shy smile broke onto her features at the thought.

Azriel had watched as the sun receded below the tree line. He had done everything he needed to do with his report and check in, quickly making time to tie up any loose ends while he was there. Nothing violent (luckily, as he didn't want to scare a specific human upon his arrival home) but simple covering of his tracks and finalizing some plans before next month.

Everything was clicking into place perfectly as far as he knew.

Giving a small nod to himself, he felt his shadows pull him back to the small house, eager to see the girl within. He didn't fight them but simply allowed himself to appear withing the familiar foyer. The smell of food was the first thing that he had noticed. For a human, with the limited palette that they possessed, Y/n had somehow crafted her cooking to be palatable by fae standards. It had been a plus of his visits here as he could enjoy his time and not feel like he was starving unlike the trip to the other Archeron's house all that while ago.

The second thing he noticed was the bottle of what looked to be some sort of human wine on the table. Az allowed a small warm smile to spread at the gesture. It was sweet, like her, to pick something out that he knew she had heard him talk about prior when recalling his time with his family. It gave insight to just how much she had been listening to him.

The third thing he noticed was the second, smaller bottle sitting on the table slightly behind the human wine. It had been obviously opened as with his quick assessment Az guessed it was about half empty. Taking a step or two to the table, Azriel had picked up the bottle to examine it.

Upon a small sip of the liquid Azriel found It was strong, almost illusionary with its taste. Even he, as fae, felt the warmth go down his throat and a small heat to fill his chest. Confusion gripped him.

This was definitely not a human made drink. If he had any guesses, he would have thought this was some sort of sipping fae gin infused with some sort of floral to cut the bite.

Half the bottle gone made him notice the fourth thing within the house, Y/n's form on one of the seats reading. If the obvious red on her cheeks was any give away to her status at the moment, her lack of notice when he had entered the house would be the most obvious telltale sign.

Y/n was drunk. Deceptively so as she sat cozied up in the chair, obviously reading some sort of romance book.

Az had placed the bottle down a little harder than he normally would, allowing the small ring to jolt Y/n out of her fantasy.

"Azriel! You're back!" Springing up off the couch with more grace than any sane person who is drunk, Y/n had effortlessly gotten to Azriel and enveloped him into a small embrace. It made the male freeze, unsure if he should wrap his arms around the girl or wait until she removed herself from him.

How desperately he wanted to return the embrace.

So, fueled by the liquor that ran through her veins, he settled his hands just above her waist.

Y/n couldn't believe that he made it back for dinner. She didn't try to stop that joy from spreading to her face as the warmth in her body buzzed through her. She didn't mean to drink as much of the liquid as she did, but once she started, the confidence and buzz that came quickly after felt reliving from her crushing nerves.

"I have dinner ready! I also got some of the wine the man at the stall recommended!" Y/n all but burst at the seams with the male's small smile towards her.

"Did he also suggest the other bottle too?" The question was soft, careful to not seem as if she had done something unknowingly wrong. He wasn't upset or anything with her, just an ounce of concern resided in him for her head tomorrow morning.

"He did! It's wonderful too. Try it!" With or without her knowledge, there was very little Azriel wouldn't do for the look that Y/n gave him. Her eyes wide and shining towards him. Very few times had he every received something like this from someone. Az had watched his brothers receive these looks and vulnerability, but never did he think someone could feel safe enough with him to be worthy of it.

Here Y/n stood, almost toe to toe with the fae, giving the best attempt at 'the eyes' that Feyre had talked to her about when they were younger. It was stupid, she knew this, but it was the best time to try and test her effect with them. She made sure to bat her eyes a couple times to emphasize her request towards the shadow singer until he gave a little chuckle and broke away from the embrace. His scarred hands reached for the red bottle and not to long after he was taking a long draw of it from the cup Y/n had selected for him.

"And? Did I do well?" Y/n fished. Azriel gave in quickly.

"Yes, very well. It is quite good, just like how the food smells." Y/n jumped. "Is it ready?"

"Yes!" Y/n all but bounced over to the kitchen, grabbing a plate and handing it to Azriel who had followed behind her. They had sat to eat, allowing the small talk between them to carry. All the while, Y/n had opened the wine and began to pour for herself and Az. It was different then the red bottle liquid. More drinkable and less potent for her. The stall owner did in fact call the type to pair well as one glass became two, two became three, and soon the bottle was done.

Y/n was surely floating.

Azriel should have stopped her after the first glass. The slowing of her movements, softness within her eye, the normal sharp wit reduced to putty as she gently talked. All of it was also why he didn't. It had been so long since someone talked to him gently, reached for him softly, asked him about little details that would normally never matter about himself.

It was as addicting as the drink she had finished minutes before.

Her standing sent a small shock of surprise through him. Her reaching for his finished plate while holding her own had him slightly panicked. He had made notion to stand and take his own plate to put away, but the soft 'I got it' and gentle ease of her hand putting pressure on his shoulder to sit again kept him stationary. Everything in himself put the idea of her serving him in such a way put his nerves on fire. Maybe it was the gin, maybe it was the fact that he couldn't stop the way his eyes trailed the flow of that damned sleeping gown that had his hands twitching to grab.

"We can go to the couch if you want." She had returned to him and grabbed his hand, something that had Az analyzing her face to determine just how drunk she was. They had some physical contact before, but this was a new level.

Azriel luckily let her drag him over to the sitting room. She had guided him to the softest area to sit while she took position next to the male. Upon her placing herself next to him, all but draped on the furniture she let the drink drive her words.

"Is it cold?" Y/n forgot that the male couldn't read her mind, thus when the questioning look towards her and then the fire made a string of giggle slip from her lips. "When you fly silly."

Right, Az was the silly one right now. However, the inquiry was welcome as he settled into his seat and altered himself to see her more clearly.

"Not really. Only If I go really high, but it's dependent on the weather I guess."

"Really? I always thought it would be cold not matter what."

"I'm also just naturally hot."

"Yes, you are."

Azriel laughed.

"No, I mean physically."

"Ya, I know."

"No." Y/n couldn't help but let the confusion cross her face. She agreed with him, why was he laughing? Sure, she would listen to it any time he would give it to her, but it was lost on her why. "I mean I'm Illyrian, we are warm naturally."

The blush on her face all but multiplied and deepened in color, no longer just the drink affecting it.

"But I am glad you think I'm hot." Y/n tried her best to hide in her hands and hair, only for the male to gently reach for her jaw, tilting her head back for him to see. Y/n didn't stop his touch, nor did she stop her intrusive thought to test the theory of his warmth herself. She had strung her hand around his wrist, guiding his hand against her cheek. She didn't think it felt any different than her own hands., maybe it was because the fire behind Az's eyes distracted her.

She had shut her eyes, pressing his marred flesh into her soft skin.

Azriel was going to combust. He didn't know if it was from the ever growing affections for the girl (that he no longer fought as hard), or the growing issue she was causing if he let his thoughts slip for even a second (that he was fighting for his life against right now).

Y/n opened her eyes again, meeting Azriel's easily as a slow, easy smile spread over her. It was as simple as taking a breath. The comfort of it all was that of her relationship with Feyre, but this felt heavier. It was a welcome relief from all the cold and disdain she caught from her best friend's sisters.

"I'm really happy your here." Y/n dropped her hand, which still encased his. "I'm really happy you come to see me."

Y/n had to blink a couple times to make sure she wasn't imagining the slight color on the tips of his ears that she swore was not there prior. There was no look of surprise, or any sort of telltale sign of his that suggested that he was uncomfortable or upset at what she had said, but the wide-eyed look of his had her moving without her knowledge.

She felt her lips make contact with the shell of his ear before she had pulled away to see them doubled in color. Another giggle of hers bubbled out and into the room. Azriel was a statue under her touch, the only notable difference was his slightly heavier breathing that she caught sight of. Before mentioning it however, her head lulled to where his neck met his shoulder, trying to understand why the room seemed distorted more than it had before.

"I'm tired." It was the only conclusion in which she could come to about her predicament. She had felt the male above her nod and a rush of air. It seemed that the statue shadow singer had been holding his breath. Gently pushing her body off of himself much to her disappointment. He stood before her; however, Y/n gave no inclination to move. Her arms however raised in motion for him to succumb to her wishes as she didn't trust her legs to work. A small huff and chuckle exited him before allowing her to get away with such a behavior.

"Okay there little vixen, let's get you up." Her smile was contagious at the name, but she kept the rather heated comments to herself. As she settled into his arms, her own wrapped around his neck in a feeble attempt to try and make herself a bit lighter for the male, easier to carry. By no means was she a tiny woman, Feyre had gotten all the slim genes between them, and while she wasn't unable to live her life, Y/n had curves. Most of it was muscle from the years out hunting and foraging on her own, but it didn't stop the slight worry that she was in fact a bit heavy to Az as he carried her.

Each step that Azriel took was slow, calculated even. He had to try and control himself as to not scare the human girl staring at him so intently that it warmed him to his core.

He also prayed that if he moved slow enough, she wouldn't notice the problem that currently threatened to make itself know if she moves just a little. It sure didn't help that the flesh of her ass was held so easily against his arm, keeping her stationary against him.

Gods she was addicting, and so, so easy to become enamored with.

Azriel didn't understand how in just a couple of months that a human could be so dear to himself. He didn't doubt that the girl in his arms knew him in more depth than most within his life to this day. He truly believed she saw him.

He loved his family, but this was different.

Her bedroom came into view too quickly for Y/n's liking as she hadn't finished memorizing the feel of his chiseled body against hers. Swiftly, as the bed had come to view under her, Y/n had let go of the male and simply fell back into the comfy blankets and pillows below. Her mind swirled with her descent while the only thing that seemed to be in focus was the male of her affections.

"You can lay down too." Her own voice was foreign to her, no longer did she have control over the words that spilled out.

Azriel stood still, watching.

"I don't bite~"

Y/n had reached out to grasp his hand. Successful in her contact, she gently pulled him onto the bed, positioning him on his back, careful of his wings. Without much else of a thought, Y/n had moved his arm just right, allowing herself to curl up within the space it made against his torso. The warmth radiating from him had Y/n passed out in mere minutes, while the poor shadow singer fought demons to keep his composure and not jump the girl.

The next morning Y/n hadn't remembered the entirety of the night, but she sure did remember the little love-bite she had quickly delivered to his ear. She had apologized profusely if she had made him uncomfortable and swore off the sinning liquid. Azriel had insisted that she would in fact want to drink again, and that he didn't mind in the slightest about her welcome intrusion of his space. Y/n wasn't convinced but still took her apologies and made them breakfast while nursing her head.

Sadly, Azriel had to depart that day for a report he had to make to Rhys. This time however, he allowed himself to embrace Y/n, lingering slightly within her scent.

The most recent time in which Y/n had guests within her home, it was the entire Inner Court (or at least the ones she had met before).

"Y/n!" Feyre had yelled upon exiting the winnow into her house. Loud thuds had been heard from the second story before the familiar sight of the human girl raced past all the males and into the arms of her best friend.

"You're here!" If the embrace was any tighter, oxygen would be difficult to pass between them. The sight had made the males in the room melt as the familiar warmth of Y/n surrounded them. Even Azriel couldn't help the small smile that adorned his features despite the jab to his ribs from his brother.

"I am so sorry for the drop in with no warning, but the timing for our play with the queens seems to be now." Feyre had explained, pulling back to look at her.

"That is more than okay Angel, you're always welcome to come anytime you feel."

From the small amount of explaining and information that Azriel had given to Y/n prior through his visits, the timing of it all had seemed to be the most up in the air. They had enough on their plates and didn’t need another excuse to feel bad about being in her residence for the time being. 

However, despite having the support of the court even now, she did not have enough to plan for when they were gone in a week or so for her stock. Thus, the decision was that she had to go out to the market, and also the forest. She needed to hunt again just so she can tide her stock over and keep her clients that she had built within the market. Plus, Y/n had wanted to make Feyre's favorite from when they were kids, which required a deer.

"Take up the rooms you had last time," Turning to Rhys and Feyre she gave a small smile, "I'll wash everything and change it for you guys when I'm back if that is okay."

"Don't worry about it Ace, is the washing still where it used to be?" the fae girl prompted. Y/n nodded with a smile. "Then I got it, we have to organize our plan here anyway. It'll give us a bit of a break before getting back to work."

"Knock yourselves out then."

After giving a quick hug to Cass, Y/n's eyes settled on Azriel who had taken a couple steps back. Her body gravitated slightly towards him while he brushed the back of his hand against her arm. It gave the human a surge of confidence.

"Welcome back." Y/n had allowed the low tone of her voice to carry a soft undertone which had the spymaster checking to make sure his family wasn't snooping since they had wandered towards their living arrangements.

"I missed you." The softness in his voice made Y/n melt.

"I missed you too."

Grabbing her hunting bow and dagger, she stepped towards the door. Y/n hesitated before opening the door and looked to the stair that led to her old and new friends. As the sun began to set, the obvious specks of light suggested she would not be alone out in those woods. 

"I have to go and grab some things in the market and out..." Y/n trailed off. Azriel had glanced out the window briefly, not able to hide the small flicker of nervousness that showed there. Although Y/n didn't allow herself to let the moment proceed as she broke contact and turned toward the small table that resided near the door. She had taken out the small paper she had picked up some odd weeks ago and one of the pens Az had brought as a small gift. She had been practicing between visits and confidently scribbled the note down.

Out hunting for dinner. Be back soon, stay inside. The town is out.

Deciding that was enough, she strung her cloak over her small frame and headed out the door and towards the tree line, sparing a small glance at the shadow singer on her way out. Admittedly, she hated the forest during this time. There was a false spring that everyone had thought would bring the warm weather to only be hit by one more blow from the mother. With it brought a frigid cold and icy flurries that would no doubt melt by the end of the week. The snow and wind whipped all warmth she had away from her in a matter of minutes and the ever-concerning watchful eye of beasts who long to have her for supper also put her on edge. 

Her body still noticed the absence of her friend that used to go not these little missions together. Although the girl is currently residing back at the house, it still stung for when she would leave. Y/n never really got used to the feeling of loneliness that came with her best friend's freedom. Although it was a selfish thought, she did miss the time they would spend hours together just chatting and getting through this life together. She missed her. 

She was elated to have her back, even to this capacity. She would never stop being thankful for her return.

A cold tear shook her from her thoughts. Shaking her head, she wiped it away and moved on deeper and deeper into the forest. 

Although she pulled the bow closer to her body, she achieved no extra security and for some reason she couldn’t shake the feeling of lurking danger beyond the trees that surrounded her. The wind whipped louder, blocking out the sounds of the forest and any audible cues that would give away a predator or prey. It added to the nerves of it all. It's why nobody should ever have to do this to survive.

As her boots crunched in the snow below her, she allowed her mind to wander as she squatted down into the white below. Here she would stay for an hour or so waiting for a migration or flock to cross her path. Since the snow and wind was so bad however, she highly doubted she could cross many prey, let alone a deer. Predators however were another story entirely, and she was sure she would come across one. Settling down once again, she relaxed the bow and rolled her shoulders, causing the assortment of ash arrows and regular to jumble further. 

Hazel eyes flooded her thoughts as she waited. Specifically of a Fae man with wings that is currently resting within her residence that she had left at the door. One with blue stones and friendly darkness that always wrapped around the nape of her neck, it was almost as alluring as all the riches and security in the world. The night he moved her to the bedroom because he had felt unease about her resting on the couch while she had stupidly trusted a drink, the chance she opened her eyes and smiled at him, and he finally allowed a redness to spread over his face as she had kissed his ear. The late nights they would stay up and read, gentle conversation flowing from the both of them, it was intoxicating. Even more than the drink she is still haunted by.

Without the human girl's knowledge, Feyre had called it, and now Rhys owed her all new paints for her studio. The girl had probably the biggest affinity for the male in such a short time that either of them had seen. Granted it had been about two occurrences that the court had witnessed in person, but the closeness of the two and the flustered avoidance that the shadow singer would insist wasn't happening. It was all so obvious, and the first time that both of them where as readable as a book.

Hearing a snap in the twigs behind her, Y/n's body moved like water as she pulled her bow taught and aimed with a watchful eye to the intruder of her space. Loaded in the string was an ash arrow, until her eyes met with the very hazel she was just dreaming about. 

“It’s just me.” Azriel said with his hands raised, eyeing the tip of the arrowhead. Y/n sighed and lowered the weapon giving a small smile to him. Even with the weather around the two, the male didn’t look even the slightest cold. Sensing the small displeasure of the stare at her arrow she stepped closer and rubbed the back of her neck. 

“Ever since Feyre was almost killed and then taken by a Fae man, I’ve carried these. You never know out here, and I had a feeling if it were to happen again, I wouldn’t be so lucky.” She explained and he nodded slightly. The image of her suffering the same as his High Lady was nauseating but was worse as he knew she in fact wouldn’t be as lucky and most likely killed if she were to run into another enemy Fae. "I had it before meeting you all."

She had attempted to reason, hoping that he wouldn't take offense to her carrying the very thing that could kill him and his family.

Her nerves settled though when he nodded at her and offered a small smile to assure her there were no hard feelings.

“Why are you out anyway? I left a note; the town is out today, and I don’t want you all to get caught.” She poked before sending him a small smile as his shadows seemed to envelop her hands to try and keep them warm. The silken texture felt nice against her digits, as she brought them up to give a slight breath to hopefully add some warmth.

“I was worried.” It was simple and curt but the meaning behind it made flurries and warmth spread through Y/n's whole being. So much so, she felt as if she almost didn’t need the jacket. 

“Oh,” She paused and looked into his eyes again as she hesitantly stepped closer, feeling a heat radiating from the larger male form. It had been a since the drinking incident that they were so close together. Thinking back to that night, Y/n allowed herself to giggle.

“You aren’t even feeling the cold are you.” It was more a statement than a question, and it made Azriel let out a smile and sigh. 

“No. Perks of being an Illyrian I guess.” Y/n shook her head as she took another step into his warmth, allowing herself to fully engulf the memory of that night. He hadn’t stepped back or retreated from her body, so she took this as a chance to not only warm up slightly but also test the waters more openly, without alcohol. His eyes seemed to study her movements as his shadows still swarmed her hands, the curve of her body under the layers of cloth, the way her hair gently blew despite the howling wind, the way the snow reflected off her eyes. Even for a Fae she would be considered ethereal. 

Snap 

Before Azriel could even flinch and his mind could come back from the thoughts of the woman in front of him, Y/n had placed herself around his side with an arrow taught. 

A yell erupted from whoever broke their peaceful encounter as Y/n let the arrow fly. She registered the Faebane soaked sword before the male behind her could and the throwing knife that he let in the direction of the shadow singer. 

The arrow hit before Azriel processed what happened, and the man’s body hit the snow staining it with the familiar crimson. His eyes hardened at the sword that fell into the snow and the rage that permanently covered his face, he also noted the ash arrow that Y/n had buried in his chest with great pride. She was lethal, her abilities honed by pure survival and instinct. Even he was impressed by her response to danger. A pride that would soon turn to panic when the girl he became infatuated with turned towards him. 

“I understand why the inside part was necessary-” He began but shortly cut himself off when his shadows screamed, and his eyes found that very crimson on Y/n. “Shit.” He began. 

Y/n felt the dagger hit; she also knew that if she didn't put herself there it would've stuck the male behind her in the middle of his chest (although she highly doubted it landing as his shadows had coiled around himself without his realization she guessed). Luckily, she knew it didn’t hit anything too vital as it embedded into her shoulder, but it would leave one hell of a scar and at least a month of no hunting for her meals and trades.

“We need to go home.” She ground out. Azriel nodded quickly before scooping the smaller girl into his arms. 

“You know, when I imagined of your size in my arms, I did not have this scenario in mind.” He attempted to joke, but when it landed and Y/n wheezed, it was painful. He cursed again and quickly melted into the shadows to get home.

“You think about that?” Y/n wheezed out. Allowing a small tense chuckle to escape him, he took in the now significantly paler girl.

"More times than I care to admit."

Coming to the familiar door, he rushed inside whilst the few of his family talked over some food and a fire. His sudden appearance had startled the group, and it took Rhys to speak up about the startled and shaken look on his shadow master’s face. 

“Help her.” Such small words and yet the whole of the building into a frenzy. Launching up from the couch, Feyre cursed at the girl as she willed her magic into her smaller body to try and help heal her.

"What the hell happened?!" She exclaimed upon seeing the wound not close as she was intending. Unbeknownst to the group, Feyre had never seen her friend with this much blood on her. Sure, they had skinned and butchered game when they had got it, but it was never hers.

Feyre hated the sight.

Everyone did.

But none more than the male who had carried her back.

Cassian attempted to find any gauze and ointment that could take the edge off of her pain upon Feyre's directions to the cabinet, even if it was a slight improvement. The way the girl forced back her writhe of discomfort was not a welcome sight. Even Rhysand was with his mate tried to aid in the healing but to no avail, much to their shared displeasure. Azriel was on the other hand by Y/n’s face, watching to see any change and trying to comfort the small girl. 

“I’m not dead, just dying if you don’t get this thing out of me and stop the bleeding.” She bargained trying to sit up wincing as she went, but the High Lady of the house pushed her back down. 

“No, we are fixing this. Stay still. Please” Azriel grasped her hand trying to will his own agenda of her staying down and letting them heal her. He knew she would be fine. The wound wasn't fatal in the slightest and hadn't hit anything that would be a long-term issue.

The sight of this female, this human woman bleeding on a table with a throwing knife that was meant for him through his brain into a spiral. The nudge in his chest had begun to feel like the knife had hit him, not her.

“It won’t work.” She coughed. Everyone stopped to look at her as Cassian began unloading the things he found. “It was meant for Az, it’s coated in faebane and ash. Magic won’t work.” 

Scarred hands had grabbed hers, tight and almost pleading. A realization settled over Azriel as he held her steady. A realization that he didn't know what to do with, nor did he ever think would happen.

Almost if he sensed it too Rhys snapped his eyes to Azriel.

Rhysand looked to Azriel’s eyes for confirmation, he nodded and went back to holding her close, unable to think of doing anything else.

It was going to be a long month for Y/n.

Hope you all enjoyed! I got a bit carried away with everything.

Tag list: @rcarbo1 @cherryinsalemverse @kabekusa @hellohauntedturnstudent @optimisticbabydreamer @historygeekqueen @whhyyynottt @love-over-fears @alainabooks143 @ariaaira @snoopyspace @moonlwghts @meritxellao @paintedbyshadows @tiredsleepyhead @annaaaaa88 @willowpains @annamariereads16 @the-onlyy-angie @bbontenswhhore @rahdaleigh @casiiopea2 @littlemissfix-itfic

[coffeeman777]

Heya.

So, I took the time to think through whether I should respond to your last post or not. I'm not on the hunt for the last word, and I generally don't care to defend myself when someone insults me. I prayed about responding, because I don't want this to be about my ego. After reading your post a few times, I decided I needed to respond to portions of what you wrote, for your sake, as well as for the sake of the silent readers of this exchange.

The point I really want to drive home is the distinction between struggling with sin, and embracing sin as a lifestyle. These are very different things, and they each can indicate a completely different state of relationship with God. False converts are very real; I was one for years. I was raised in the Church (my dad is a pastor, as is my uncle; my grandpa was a pastor, as were several of his brothers; and my great-grandpa was a pastor also). My grandma was a Sunday school teacher for my entire childhood. Everything about my life growing up was ensconced in the faith. I made a profession of faith when I was 15, but I didn't actually come to know the Lord for real until I was 26. For more than a decade, I was a false convert. I would have told anyone that asked that I was a Christian. I always honored the Lord in word. I genuinely believed that I was saved. But I wasn't.

I had a porn habit from the time I was 13 that only got worse as I got older. When I was 15, I lost my virginity to my first girlfriend. I had sex with my next girlfriend as well. Once I was out of the house, I joined the Marines. While in the military, I jumped into the party lifestyle. I was drunk every weekend and chasing skirts with my friends. When I got out of the Marines, I brought the lifestyle with me. I had several booty-call relationships going, including one with a married woman. I knew she was married, but I rationalized it in my mind. Throughout this time, I would have proudly declared that I was a Christian. I had this fantasy in my head that I was like the second coming of David, best friends with God.

One morning in November of 2009, I woke up terrified. Out of nowhere, like I'd been struck with a bolt of lightning, I saw myself. I realized with crystal clarity that I was not God's friend, I was His enemy; as lost as lost gets. God opened my eyes. I rolled out of bed and laid on the floor, on my face, weeping and crying out to the Lord for mercy. After that, God saved me for real.

I threw myself into the Scriptures. I read the whole Bible through many times, and the New Testament by itself more times than I can count. I've earned my ordination as a minister. Through all that study, I confirmed what the Lord revealed to me the day He saved me: genuine salvation produces genuine repentance.

The Scriptures are quite clear. The passages I quoted in my above response (and others) make the conclusion that genuine Christians will not continue in intentional, deliberate sin absolutely inescapable. Christians can and do struggle with sin; I'm certainly not perfect. We make mistakes, or experience moral failures in the heat of the moment. We battle addictions with varying degrees of success, constantly confessing our failures and continuing a lifestyle of repentance. And as we go along, God's grace attends us. The Holy Spirit intercedes for us, and pulls us along through the messy and brutal process of sanctification. This is the normal Christian life. What a huge difference there is between that and deliberately living in sin.

Based on your last response, you fail to see this distinction. You accuse me of being self-righteous, of being harsh and unmerciful, and of assuming that I know your heart. All I have done is judge what you've said about yourself and your opinions by the Scriptures. The Bible is the final arbiter of truth; it is the light by which we walk, and the rule by which we judge. You have said that you are in a same-sex marriage; by that alone, everything I said is appropriate. Nothing I wrote came from a place of malice. My goal is to warn you. I want you to turn from your sin and come to know the Lord for real. I want to see you genuinely saved. It is the honest desire of my heart to see you in the Resurrection.

We are commanded to preach the truth, to warn, exhort, and rebuke with patience and correct teaching. This is what I've tried to do. You may not like it; you may be offended by it. And I'm sorry if any unnecessary offense was caused by something I've done or failed to do, outside of simply pointing out what the Scripture says. But I don't apologize for warning you. Yes, you are in error, and yes, you need to repent.

This will be it from me. Feel free to take the last word. Regardless of how you may feel now, I genuinely hope that you eventually realize your error, turn away from your sin, and sincerely surrender to the Lord.

Be blessed!

What does god say about lgbt stuff? Is it really a sin?

It really is.

Any sexual expression other than between a man and his wife is sinful. Adultery, heterosexual and homosexual sex outside of marriage, use of pornography, pedophilia, and every other aberrant sexual practice is an abuse of the body's capacity for sex and a desecration of God's image (which all humans bear).

I wrote a post all about this years ago, check it out. Be blessed!

[itsythebitsyspider]

Silco x fem reader

Took out the slowburn because as a wise person once said, I have no impulse control. Enjoy the smut.

Anyways, I'm also like, way to tired and impatient to edit this before posting, so: fuck it no beta we die like men.

Here's the main things that was asked of me to give you a basic summary of what's going on:

Silco x fem reader, you are a healer, smut.

Pretty sure there was supposed to be angst and hurt comfort, I guess it's there if you squint. I was also asked a 5,000 word minimum so... yeah. Pardon me for letting that slip my mind. Anyways, enjoy this little drabble. I'm going to bed.

Two  years ago you were a herbalist in Zaun. Your parents owned a flower shop of sorts that specializes in healing and harming plants. Growing up, you earned your green thumbs and were able to hold a stable life for you and your parents. That was, until the enforcers came around. They had been searching for four kids who had caused a massive explosion in some fancy rich guy’s lab. You had denied them entry of course, but they never really listened anyway. They pushed their way into your shop, and ultimately ended up setting half of it on fire. This left you and your family struggling for a while, forcing you to take drastic measures. Before, you had only provided people with the ingredients to make the poisons or the remedies. But now, people are paying you to create them. Some of them even paid you to deliver it personally to the target. It was tough at first, figuring out how to distribute the poison without getting caught. You weren’t a trained assassin. But, you weren’t just some nobody off the street either. 

Everything in Zaun would break down at one point, causing most people to have some knowledge of machinery. You had fixed up one too many humidifiers and dehumidifiers at this point to not be able to repurpose them into something new. Leading you to create a small canister that, when activated, would subtly fill the room with the poison. Once the victim had fallen under its effects, you could go in and retrieve the canister, and then make your exit to collect the pay. 

You had gotten so good at this in fact, that it had caught the eye of the smoke-breather of the underground himself. Silco. It had happened once or twice that he’d hire you. Usually to take out some target in some random location. You didn’t ask, you didn’t need to know. Eventually, he asked you to take out a large group of people, larger than you’d ever done before. You’d hesitated, but the moment you saw the money, suddenly all your worries were gone. You completed the job with barely any bumps, and returned to Silco. Instead of leaving with the money, you ended up leaving with the money and a new job. Silco’s new toxicant. 

Now, two years later, it seemed your job had become more peaceful. You found yourself healing more often than you were killing. Every other day you’d get one of Silco’s henchmen coming into your office for some wound or bruise that they’d gotten in a scuffle. It was Friday that was the most important day of your work week. Every Friday you would be in Silco’s office tending to his eye. The shimmer was doing its job of keeping his eye mutation at bay, but the pain would still linger. Your job was to make sure that the eye wasn’t getting any worse, and to dull the pain as much as possible. An additional part of that job was taking care of Jinx whenever you were at work. You didn’t sign up for babysitting. 

“I didn’t exactly sign up to be a babysitter, y’know that right?” You raised an eyebrow at Silco while you started setting up your mini workspace. 

“I do recall you being desperate for cash once.” 

“Yeah, once.” You retorted, carefully handling the glass vials you pulled out of the bag. “I’m well off now.” 

“Would you continue to be this way if I were to relinquish you from your position?” 

You paused for a minute. Would you be alright if you quit? He’d probably kill you. You were too good at your job for him to just let you go. You decided just to roll your eyes and finish setting out the ingredients on his desk. Just as you were about to start working your magic, the door bursts open. You don’t even have to look up to know who it is. Who else is brave enough to slam the doors open and yell, 

“THUNDER AND LIGHTING! THE BLUE BUNNY IS BACK IN THE BUILDING!”

You cursed under your breath. You’d tried your best to teach her proper manners, but they never really took. At least, if they did, she never bothered to use them. “Jinx how many–” Your eyes widened as you took in the state of her. “Jinx!” You rushed over, immediately grabbing her arm and wiping the soot off to try and see if there was still skin underneath all the ash that seemed to cover her entirely. 

“What happened?!” You exclaimed, scrambling through your pockets for a rag that wasn’t covered in blood or dirt. 

“Oh, this ol’ boo boo? It was actually exactly like Silky-boy here predicted!” She bounded over to his desk, glancing at all the bottles you had laid on on the surface before moving to the other side and sitting down, kicking her feet. “Firelights were tagging our stuff. Turns out, they also had an enforcer on their payroll. Which! Doesn’t make sense cause uh- yknow. Bugs don’t have jobs. They don’t get paid too well.” She giggled. “Well, unless they’re a butt-kicking slug wrestler!” 

She promptly frowned. “Mm…” 

You let out a worried sound and walked over, having finally found a clean rag and started cleaning off the blood and ash. “So, explain what happened on the flight.” 

“Thought I saw her.” Jinx muttered, a distant look in her eyes. She seemed frazzled. 

‘Saw who?’ you almost asked, but you knew almost immediately who she was talking about. 

“She’s gone, Jinx.” Silco spoke up from his chair. You had almost forgotten he was there, the man’s presence so silent that he could sneak up on a fly. “Whoever you saw–”

“Wasn’t her. I know.” Jinx furrowed her brow. “Whoever she was, she ran. Like a coward.” 

“Was? What did you–”

“Gave her a taste of underground lead!” Jinx grinned. “Oh you should’ve been there! Pew pew pew! God the firelights really should get better at dodging. Anyways~! I think we’d make a whole bunch more cash if we made fireworks. Did you know shimmer is like- super explosive? The whole airship nearly went BOOM!” The blue haired girl threw her hands in the air, making an exaggerated explosion sound before plopping down onto the desk. 

“Cmon plant lady! Work your magic so I can get to hopping!” Jinx complained. 

You sighed and rummaged through your bag, trying your best to apply the antiseptic onto the squirming girl.  After struggling to put some bandages on, you sent her on her way, and she bounded merrily off to do God knows what, God knows where. Probably figure out that shimmer firework idea of hers down in her lair. 

You pinched the bridge of your nose. 

“I know that look. I’ve made it many times when raising that strange creature.” Silco chuckled, patting the stool next to his chair. You grumbled and sat down, grabbing your vials and beginning to grab the final ingredients. “She’s more troublesome than finding mold in my Burdock root.” You grumbled, shoving the plants into the small machine and pressing a button. The muted whirring of the machine started off. 

“Yet, you seem to care for her regardless.” 

“Just because it's troublesome doesn’t mean it’s something to give up on.” 

You glanced at the door Jinx left through, mind flashing through the two years you’ve known her now. You were only there for two years, but it felt like you’d known them for much longer. The machine on the desk beeped and you sighed, pouring the powder into the previously prepared mixture and stirred it for a few moments. 

“Alright, c’mere. And you better hold still.” 

Silco obliged, turning his large chair to face you. You pulled on a rubber glove from one of the little pockets on her belt and dipped two fingers in, gently reaching out to apply the new salve to his scars. 

“It surprises me that it still hurts after all these years.” You commented as you tried to smooth out the mix on his face. “I’m no doctor, hardly anyone down here is, but I’m starting to think it’s phantom pains.” 

“What makes you think that?” 

“Chemical burns like this would’ve damaged the nerve endings. Most of the time it causes numbness. I mean, the damage it’s left on your face, I’m pretty convinced your nerve endings have just been fried.” 

“For someone who isn’t a doctor, you seem to know a few things.” The man in front of you spoke, doing his best to remain still while you worked. 

“Being the main healer here– other than Singed of course, but I don’t exactly trust his work ethic, I’ve picked up on a few things.” You finish applying the salve and check your watch. “Three minutes.” You murmured to yourself. 

“Singed is the best thing we have to a doctor.” 

“Yeah, I know.” I sighed. “I just… wish there were better options, y’know?”

Silco crossed his arms. “We’ve been trying to get better options for a while. Right now, we have to make do with Singed.”

“Yeah, yeah. Your whole, ‘make them fear us’ agenda.” You groaned. “Look, I just think there’s a better way–”

“And do, pray tell, share the secret to utopia. Because I and many others have been working towards this for years now, and we’d love for you to come and spout some naivety on our hard work.” 

You glared at him. “Okay what is with the sudden hostility? I’m just trying to have a conversation here and you want to be an asshole about it.” 

“Hostility? Darling I am being realistic. You are a good healer. A good Toxicant. But there’s a reason I’m the one running things and you remain in a clean room fixing up injuries.” 

“You little–”

The beeping from your watch saved you from potentially losing your job. You bit your lip and reached for a wet cloth, wiping off the cream. “There. If it still hurts, apply this and let it sit for three minutes before wiping it off.” You said through gritted teeth, grabbing your things and shoving them into your bag before storming off. If you were in here any longer, you were going to make sure he could only see through one eye. 

Sadly, there was no rest for you seeing as you returned to work the following Monday. There was a meeting Silco had asked you to be at. The moment you saw the familiar briefcase with money you knew he wasn’t just asking you to attend. He wanted your services. 

“What’s the job? Based on the stacks, I’m assuming its a group. Pretty big one.” You commented, running your fingers along the dollar bills. 

“Are you familiar with the coal mines?”

You paused and looked up, searching his face for any sign that he was joking or pulling your leg. But as always, his face remained unchanging. 

“Yeah, I’m kinda familiar. My Dad worked there. Sometimes when he’d forget his lunch I’d take it to him. I could barely breathe down there. It felt like my lungs were full of some thick smog.” You grimaced, recalling the air quality down there. It was hard to breathe, and it felt like you were being weighed down. You remember having to go down there and work every now and then when your father came down with an illness or injury. Every time you left, your lungs felt like they’d smoked an entire pack of cigars in just one hour. 

“Could you recreate a version of that very fog?” 

“You want me to do what?” 

“I doubt the people we’ll be meeting today have ever had to work down there in those mines. I can tell just by the way they breathe, even the way they smoke. The way they act so carefree and unburdened, never weighed down by the carts of coal.” Silco’s voice had a slight edge to it. 

“So… an altered version of that? Altered how?” 

“A little easier to breathe through. Perhaps you could rig your machine to release the smoke a little slower. I don’t want them to immediately notice what’s happening until it’s far too late. A little symbolic, don’t you think?”

“Very.” You muttered. Yeah, you could make the humidifier a little more subtle. But making sure they didn’t catch the smell of it? Those mines had a distinct smell. Blood, sweat, and a purely earthy smell. You’d have to cover it up with an even more potent smell. Perhaps plants? 

“What room will you be meeting in?” 

“We, will be meeting in the old observatory in the abandoned astrology building. Do you know the one?” 

“Yeah. I need a few guys to help me set the place up if I’m to do this.” 

Silco raised an eyebrow. “Interesting request, but I’ll grant it. I don’t want to know what you do, the less I know the better. So whatever it is you need, you have it. You need not ask.”  With that, he tapped the briefcase and went back to whatever he was writing on those papers of his. You swear, some days it seemed like Silco did more paperwork than he did crime. 

‘Alright. Take a few guys, handful of plants, and just get the place ready. Nothing too hard.’ All you needed to do was take them to your shop and load up the plants. You wanted them to feel relaxed, so a few lilac’s would do the trick. Maybe some Jasmine? You groaned. You never bothered learning about proper flower placement, focusing more on keeping your plants healthy and alive for your customers. Maybe you should’ve bought that book about weddings and flowers, but you thought it would be stupid to buy a book about weddings if no one ever properly got married down here. 

Regardless, you had taken a few men and brought them to the shop, having them carry the heavier plants that couldn’t be removed from their pots until you got to the observatory, otherwise they might die of shock.They loaded up all the plants into the two trucks and drove over to the observatory. 

It was a mess, Overrun by nature and obviously raided by bandits and such, it was a mess. You groaned and gave the order to start cleaning. It could’ve been a one and done thing, but of course, things were never that simple. 

It took about an hour and a half to get everything cleaned up before you could finally start the careful process of giving the plants a new, temporary home. You pulled out your notebook and dotted down the date you were replanting them. You could come back for them in a few weeks after the plants weren’t so stressed from the first move. 

You glanced around at the observatory. It actually looked really pretty. With time and money, this place could be turned into a pretty good plant nursery. You glanced down at your pocket where you kept emergency cash.

 You didn’t like dipping into your savings. Ever since the Enforcers had burned down your flower shop the first time, you felt the need to always have money in case it ever happened again. Plus, with your Dad’s need for shimmer because of his lung cancer, money wasn’t something you could easily throw around. Somehow the destructive product had healing properties, but in order to actually be able to help your father, it required a professional to apply it in order for it to stabilize his lungs. The product had to be applied to the inside of his lungs. At first, you didn’t hire anyone. If it needed to be in his lungs, then maybe the humidifier you used for work would be better. So a few days later you’d manage to vaporize the shimmer and distribute it using your humidifier. But when you tried it on your father, whatever was inside his lungs acted like a filter, keeping both fresh air and the shimmer out. This forced you to hire that professional, and was the main reason there was a huge dent in your paycheck every month. Your mother had tried to get a job, but she was already far too worn out to properly do anything in the underground. At least, anything that would’ve helped to pay for the medical treatments. You absentmindedly reached into your pocket to trace the lucky dollar coin you’d found a long time ago. If you truly wanted this, you’d have to figure out a smarter way to do it. 

You glanced over at the men that Silco had sent over your way. Anything you needed, he had said, was available to you. Obviously, you couldn’t just ask for the lease to the observatory. The only reason you were here was to make some huge statement in the middle of the meeting. Silco had a thing for making symbolic statements. You swear, he probably had some secret library full of books that had so much symbolism that you couldn’t get past the title without having to decipher its hidden meanings. Maybe you could convince him that it was necessary for you to have an observatory because it was symbolic of the mines or something? 

Or, you could convince him it was beneficial to his business. Silco was always looking for new investments, always looking to better his empire. It’s what made him such a good crime boss, never stagnant, always evolving. If you could convince him to give you a bigger place to house your plants– somewhere that would allow you to get him better, more diverse ingredients, maybe he would be willing to give you the observatory. 

Filled with a new determination, you finished the final touches and hopped into the truck, excited to get back. 

“...you just want it for your plants, don’t you?” 

He saw right through it. Fuck. 

“What? No. If I wanted it for my plants I would’ve just gone and bought it or something.” You huffed, crossing your arms stubbornly. 

“So you went to the observatory, saw the large space and the windows and thought that I could benefit?” He raised an eyebrow. “Sorry if I don’t exactly see how I, a drug dealer who deals in a chemically enginerered drug, could benefit from a plant house.” 

“It’s not a plant house it’s-!” You sighed and rubbed your face. You put your hands together. “Silco, sir. Look, I’ve got an entirely good reason why it’s good for the both of us.” 

Silco pinched the bridge of his nose and leaned back. 

There was a knock at the door. “Not now.” 

Sevika entered. “Silco, you have a meeting in–”

“Not. Now.” He said firmly. “Whatever it is, push it back.”

Sevika narrowed her eyes. “Push it back? We’ve been struggling to get this meeting for–”

“And to teach them a lesson in how valuable my time is, you will have them wait. Are we clear?” He looked up at her. Sevika growled but nodded. “Understood, sir.” She closed the door with a little too much force. 

You were suddenly anxious, feeling like you had just forced him to make some probably important people wait so that you could finish your barely thought out idea. 

“I can go. It’s no biggie, we don’t have to…” You trailed off as you saw his pointed look. The damage had been done. Now you need to see it through. 

You reached into your pocket and rubbed the coin again before speaking up. 

“Look I’m the best healer you have. Along with that, I’m the best toxicant you have. Albeit I’m the only toxicant you have, but compared to any old apothecary out there you know I can outdo them. I’ve done a lot around here, you know that. I’ve killed the people you wanted dead. I poisoned the people you wanted threatened. And I’ve healed you and the people you’ve asked me to heal. I even take care of Jinx when she’s having a manic episode and you’re not around to help ease her out of it! So on top of all that, I’ve also somehow become like a mother to that girl. God knows how much she needed one, but apparently decided she wouldn’t get one.”

You took a deep breath before continuing. 

“Yeah, I want that observatory for selfish reasons. But frankly what botanist wouldn’t? The windows would’ve been perfect if we had sun, but I can put lamps around that’ll act like the sun. Yeah if I crack open a window the air will damage some of the more sensitive plants, but I can repurpose some of the rooms into specific and climate controlled spaces for those kinds of plants. I mean, think of it like this. How many more poisonous and venomous and alleviating plants would you have access to if I could just get my hands on that building?”

You stared at his stoic face. “It would be a good investment.” You finished weakly. 

Silco let out a sigh and your heart sunk, feeling like you were about to get brutally denied. 

“And when would the renovations on this place be completed?” 

“Huh?” 

“The renovations. You said that you could make specific rooms for plants that need special care. I assume you’ll be needing a lot of materials in order to do that. If I supply you with the building and the tools to spruce it up, I expect great things of you. Do you understand?” 

You stared at the man for a moment, feeling blindsided by his sudden offer. He’d never done anything that wasn’t absolutely necessary. Where in the world was this coming from? 

“Do you understand?” He repeated himself. 

“Yeah! Yeah. I- I understand. I can get started on that as soon as I get the lease.” 

“I suggest you get started after the meeting is done. Getting the lease won’t be a problem.” 

Right. The meeting, you’d nearly forgotten about that. That was tomorrow. He would get you the lease by tomorrow? Wow. Perks of being a crime lord, meant that you had a much easier time getting things. Especially when you were the crime lord. 

For now, it was time for you to go home and finish making the smog for tomorrow, and then plan out what you were going to do in your new nursery.

—

Time couldn’t go by any faster. You’d sat through the boring meeting. Well, boring until it's gotten interesting. You smelled the familiar fog, tensing slightly. You were standing behind Silco. You quietly cleared your throat to let him know that the smoke was already becoming noticeable. Sevika took notice and turned around, subtly putting on her gas mask. 

“We should cut a deal and give back the Gemstone.” 

“Better to have some trade than none at all.” Finn added. 

Silco waved his hand. “The border issue is temporary. Jinx will deal with it.” He was about to go on to change the conversation when Finn interrupted him with a laugh, the clicking of his gold jaw sharp. 

“Rumor is, your dog’s off her leash.” He grinned, peering down at Silco, as if trying to make him feel small. You could see the irritation in Silco’s tense frame. He tapped his finger on the desk and you reached into your pocket and pressed the red button in your hand, increasing the intensity of the humidifiers surrounding the room. 

“How can you bring Piltover to heel if you can’t even handle your own people? Huh? Much less that crazed mess you call your–” 

Fin was cut off by a cough. He cleared his throat. “That crazed–” This time, he was subdued by an even worse cough. The others at the table seemed confused before they were all suddenly overwhelmed by their own coughing fits. “What is that?!” “What’s going on?!” 

Silco tapped the table again before standing up. The red smoke began to fill up the room even more. If you raised the intensity any higher, you’d have to put on a mask yourself. 

“You don’t recognize it? Truly, you haven’t the slightest idea what it is?” Silco asked, as he walked around the table, looking at each of the victims with a gleam in his eyes. 

“Oh come now, we were born of this. We came, from this.” He let out a disappointed sigh, as if they were children who couldn’t answer a question in class. “The mines they had us in. Air so thick it clogged your throat. If you stayed in there too long, you’d feel it. Clumps of that sludge slowly making it’s way into your lungs.” 

You winced, mind falling back to your father at home, probably struggling to breathe through it.

“Stuck in your eyes. Blinking the dust out that would get in no matter what.But I pulled you all up from the depths.” He leaned down into the face of another one of the leaders who was clutching at their throat. He gently tilted their chair backwards until he let go and let them fall to the floor. 

“Offered you a taste of topside. The bottle at the bar you could only ever dream of being able to afford a glass of. I gave you fresh air to fill your dirty lungs. I gave you life. A purpose.”

Silco stopped as he reached the other end of the table where Finn sat. “But you’ve grown fat and complacent. Too much time in the sun.” 

Silco was always one for dramatics. But you couldn’t help but admit, he knew how to send a message. You  watched him toy with the other leaders for a while before eventually giving you the signal to shut off the humidifiers. You reached into your pocket and shut it off before collecting the four you had hidden around the room and following him out. 

“Flair for the dramatics much?” You asked, following close behind him. 

“Some lessons are best learnt the hard way. They won’t be doing this again.” 

“What was it they did?” 

“They don’t want to fight for the cause anymore.” Silco sighed. “I’ve spoiled them rotten. I wanted to show them what they could have if they fought, so I showed them what it would be like to live a life like topside. But instead they drank themselves drunk and stupidly believed the world was theirs.” He narrowed his eyes. “Now, they won’t make that mistake again. If I have to instill the fear back into them myself, I will.” He growled. 

You stared at him for a while. Was he always this… no. No. That would be crazy. You shook your head and continued to follow. He seemed tense, too tense. Almost like Jinx before she had one of her episodes. You took a deep breath. 

“So I was thinking about giving you an elephant plant for your office. It gets real stuffy in there.” 

“You want to give me a plant for my office? I think I’d kill it.” He mused. 

“Obviously. You’d probably overwater it or something. Or let Jinx put some spray paint on it.” You scoffed, remembering the time you left a plant out in the open and jinx painted a smiley face on it’s leaf. You had then gone and swiped out all her paints for empty cans in retaliation. The little ‘prank’ war had continued for a while until you’d nearly gotten her to dye her hair yellow, and she surrendered. Now she only painted on the flower pots instead of the actual plant. Progress. 

“Mm. I suppose a plant would be alright to keep in the office. You’d give it to me? I don’t have to buy you some old, run down building or bribe you with a suitcase of money?” 

“Nope. Entirely free. Think of it like an expression of my gratitude.” You grinned. 

“Does this gift come with you?” 

You froze and coughed, as if you had accidentally set off the humidifier and breathed in the smoke. He stopped walking, looking at you as if you were the one saying something absolutely insane. 

“I- I- what???” You quickly ran to catch up to him. 

“I said, does it come with you? If I’m to receive a plant, I’d like my professional botanist to be the one taking care of it. As you said, I’d probably overwater it.” He said, as if he hadn’t said anything out of pocket at all. 

Your face burned red, trying to come up with a response. Sarcasm? Truth? Insult? Silence? All three? 

“Yeah well, the only reason you keep me around is for me to sell you plants and heal people so…”

“That’s not the only reason I keep you around.” 

“Lemme guess, cause I take care of Jinx?” 

“Because I like having you around. You… brighten the place up a bit. Like a plant I suppose.” 

You froze once again, but this time he didn’t wait for you. 

‘He likes having you around? You were  a headache. It didn’t make sense. Silco  kept you around yeah, but that was because you were the best toxicant in Zaun. You’d often have him tell you that the moment he found someone who was half as good as you and half the headache, he’d trade you in a moment's notice. You had only scoffed and finished applying the salve to his face, knowing he was only saying that because he had a distaste for having the thick medicinal cream on his face. 

Other times he had gotten complaints about you and had gone to see what the fuss was about, and walked in on you yelling at his men about being stupid. You had turned to him, turned back to the men, and continued yelling at them. Silco had sighed, muttered about how he was going to inject nothing but pure shimmer into his veins, and left. You swear, you would probably be the reason he got a shimmer addiction. 

At least, you would’ve been. Had he not dropped this sudden bomb on you. 

“I mean seriously. What kind of guy just drops that on a girl??? Huh??? Honestly!” You grumbled, roughly grabbing the watering can and spilling water all over the floor. You cursed and reached for a rag, throwing it down onto the puddle before moving back to the plants. “Y’know what he said? I’ll tell you what he said. He likes having me around. Me. Me! What the actual–” 

“Uhm. Excuse me, are you.. Talking to the plants?” 

You whirled around to see someone standing a few feet away. You were about to tear into them about minding their own business when you realized that was probably a customer. You quickly slapped on a smile. “Hello hello hello! Welcome to Zaun’s highest rated apothecary where our thumbs are as green as our plants.” You winced at the corny slogan your Dad had come up with. You never bothered to figure out a better one. “What kind of plant are you in the market for today?” 

“Not really looking for anything specific. Just something nice. I  saw this purple one in the front. Looked kinda like a dandelion.”

“Oh the Allium? Very good plant, especially for down here. Those girls are tough. They can grow in most soil as long as you drain it well, they’re rodent resistant, which is good for the pests that people like to keep, and they really like the sun. So if you have a lamp anywhere, I’d make sure to put her around there.” 

The person nodded. “So.. easy to take care of?” 

“Yep. For the most part, you just have to water it. They’re tough plants. If you ever have any issues you can always bring her back and I’ll take a look at it.” 

“I’ll take one.”

“The plant or just the flower?” 

“The plant please.” 

“Okay, wait by the register, I’ll bring one out from the back.” You went to the back, going through the array of flower beds before picking up a white Allium from its potted home and bringing it out to the register. “Name?” 

“Diana.” 

“Okay Diana,” You wrote it down on the list. “You want the basic care package?” 

“Uhm. How much extra will that be?” 

“Three silver cogs and seven bronze washers.” 

“Oh, then yeah I’ll take it.” 

You nodded and reached under the counter for the small tote bag, setting it up on the counter. “Your total will be ten silver cogs, or one gold hexes if you have one.” Diana set the money on the counter and slung the tote bag over her shoulder before carefully lifting the potted plant. “Have a good one.” You called as she left. You turned back to the plants. “Where was I..? Oh. Right. Watering the burdock root.” You sighed and walked back into the front of the shop, picking up the watering can where you left it. 

“He’s gone mad, I swear. Jinx’ madness has finally gotten to him.” You muttered. “And he think’s he can just get away with it! No. Not on my watch.” You said firmly. 

“Tch. Thinking he can get away with messing with me. Not in this life.” 

—

“What was I thinking?” Silco groaned, rubbing his face. Sevika let out a chuckle, sharpening her arm blade. “I don’t believe you were thinking.” She replied. Silco gave her a half hearted glare. “Thanks for that astute observation. I never would’ve come to the conclusion.”

“You can be pretty thickheaded.” She snickered. 

“I am not thickheaded.” 

“You are.” 

“Name one time.” 

“Last valentines day you got her flowers.” 

“It’s not strange to give flowers on Valentines.” 

“She’s a florist. She could’ve grown herself a garden of those.”

“...that was a momentary lapse in judgement. I learned, and the year after I got her some exotic seeds from some distant land.” He waved his hand.

“Uh huh. And then that time she nearly got stabbed on a mission and you bought her an entirely new mission wardrobe?” 

“I expect my workers to be properly dressed based on the needs of the mission. Having her get stabbed again would only hinder the mission.” 

“And it just so happened to fit her, and not be some kind of eyesore?” 

“If I were going to get her something to wear I was going to make sure she didn’t look like it was purchased in Zinny’s Zappy Outfits.” Silco scoffed, opening his desk to look for a paper. He set it down on his desk and started writing. 

“Face it. You like having her around more than you’d like to admit. Way, more than you’d like to admit.” 

“She’s an annoyance.” 

“Yet where is she the majority of the time she’s here? Glued to your side, by your orders.” Sevika grinned. “Just be grateful that Jinx hasn’t caught on. You two would be set up on a date faster than you could even say tea party.” 

Silco groaned. “Do not remind me of the tea party incident.” 

“Hey, you’ve gotta admit, the girls got a knack for kidnapping. She hasn’t been caught ever since.” 

“Because she stopped.” 

“...”

“Because she stopped.” Silco said again, narrowing his eyes. 

“Sure. If that’ll help you sleep at night.” 

“Get out.” 

Sevika raised her hand in surrender, walking over to the door. “Oh and by the way, tomorrow you have a meeting with the construction workers for that observatory you bought her.” 

“What time?” 

“Two.” 

“Alright, thank you Sevila. Dismissed.”

“I cannot believe you bought her a whole–”

“Dismissed!” 

—

Your mother always told you that you had beautiful eyes. She said they were one of your prettiest attributes.  Silco also seemed to think so. 

The man made eye contact often. Today, you’d make sure he couldn’t hold eye contact with you for longer than a few seconds. 

Today as you walked into work, you’d already gotten a few looks. The shirt you wore underneath the soft leather jacket was low cut. Showing just enough to be eye catching, but not enough to give away everything. That red little piece was a contrast to the usual earthy tones you’d wear. 

Instead of heading for your office in the medbay like you usually would, you went straight to Silcos office. You had a few things you wanted to run by him for the plant nursery. He was the one footing the bill after all, he had some kind of say in what went down. 

You walked in, making sure the files covered your chest. “I’ve got a few ideas for the nursery but I couldn’t decide which ones I should use. Think you can help me?” You asked innocently. 

Silco looked up at you before looking back down at his desk. “I can spare a few moments.” He gestured to the desk. You walked over and dropped the files on the desk. 

Silco looked up and you had to bite back a grin as you watched his eyes drift down before snapping up to meet your eyes. Step one, complete. What was step two? You had no fucking clue. 

“So I was thinking about different kinds of air conditioners.” You flipped open to the first page. “But then I dripped into the humidifiers and of course once you do that there’s the dehumidifiers and I mean seriously, how many  ‘fiers’ are there?” You sighed, and put your hands down on the desk, leaning over to look at the pictures. 

Silco rubbed his face, faking annoyance. “I regret saying I’ll help you. I’m no architect or home designer.”

“Yet here we are.” 

You started to prattle off about the different things you wanted. You knew you had him hooked when he didn’t even catch you repeating yourself. You adjusted your collar and he looked away, grabbing a photo and feigning interest in it. You weren’t about to let him get away with it that quickly. 

“Ah, looking at the air cubes? What do you think of those?” 

“What? Oh. These… colorful things.” Silco glanced at the pile of papers. “Uh, quite expensive. Are they worth it?”

“I think so. They have reservoirs for nutrient rich water, brain buckets that send water to each bucket so I don’t have to, and it’s self draining. Personally I like doing it myself, keeps me busy.” 

You watched him start to tune you out.

“And then there’s a super charger that sends plant food and makes the plants basically invincible for like four seconds. The sunflowers produce more sun for the other plants, the peashooters shoot a lot more peas. About a hundred or so.” 

“Mhm. Sounds like a good investment.” 

“Yeah but the zombies are always banging on my door trying to eat my brains and all.”

Yeah. You were shameless. 

Fiddling with the button on your shirt and ‘accidentally’ letting it slip. Instantly, whatever part of him was paying attention was gone.Were all men like this? Flash them a little bit of skin and they were drooling dogs? You didn’t entirely mind. Not when this glass of fine wine was the one on the other end of the leash. Just how much more could you take this? Your eyes drifted down to his belt, and you decided you wanted all of it. You looked outside to the barely cracked open door and made a motion for the man stationed outside to lock it and leave. The moment the door shut you looked back at Silco. “Your face is red. Are you feeling warm?” You reached a hand over and pressed it to his forehead. “Is it the eye?” You were so obvious with how you were faking innocence. But he didn’t seem to notice. 

“Ah- no. I believe it’s quite warm in here.”

“Yeah, yeah. I noticed that too.” You let your hand linger before subtly letting it glide down his face before you took your jacket off and set it down on the chair behind you. You slowly walked over to his side of the desk. “So, give me your thoughts so far.” 

“I’m not sure I have any at the moment.” He watched as you sat down on his chest, finally looking up to meet your eyes. 

“Try.” You slowly moved your left leg up onto his chair, placing it on his lap. His hand slowly moved, wrapping around your ankle. “I’m thinking about… you.” His hand slowly moved underneath the dark, flared jeans you wore. His rough hand trailed up your soft skin, feeling the rough patches of your scars. 

“Yeah? What about me are you thinking about?” You tilted your head, a small smile on your face. “I can’t imagine its about anything I came to talk to you about. You were far too distracted for that.” 

Silco chuckled, moving his hand out of your jeans and holding onto your knee. “You’ve got that right.” He slowly moved up your thigh, squeezing the flesh there before rubbing up and down the sides. “I was thinking about that damn red of yours.” 

“You noticed the red top?” You teased. 

“How could I not notice that damn red top?” He let a bated breath slip out of his mouth, reaching up his hand for your belt. He paused and looked up at you. 

“Eager, are we?” 

“If you knew how long I’ve been waiting for an opportunity such as this,” His fingers unclasped your belt with a practiced motion. “You’d realize just how patient I truly am.” You lifted yourself up so that he could pull your jeans down. He discarded them onto the floor next to his chair. You’d find them later. 

Rather than continue from where he was at, Silco seemed content to start over from the beginning. He scooted his chair back and grabbed your right leg by the ankle. “I’ve ignored you for so long. I won’t be neglecting any part of you, any longer.” He whispered, pressing a kiss to the top of your foot. His hands slowly began to massage your foot, working their way up to your ankle. He leaned down to kiss you again, this time moving up above your ankle. His hands would trail up and down your skin while he kissed you over and over again. His lips were soft, not rough like you’d expected them to be. You’ve seen him put on foundation on his scars, it wasn’t too far off for him to wear chapstick as well. 

Momentarily distracted, you hadn’t noticed that Silco had made it all the way up to your thigh until you felt teeth on your inner thigh. The feeling sent a sudden shock up your spine and you shuddered, leaning back on your hands for a moment. Silco didn’t stop, continuing to press kisses on your inner thigh. Occasionally he’d nip at the flesh there, as if taunting the idea of leaving a mark on you. He nuzzled his face into your thigh before slowly looking up at you. You couldn’t help but try and memorize the sight. This man. A feared, and respected man. Had suddenly become so pliant with you. As if you had somehow quelled the beast that drove him on this vendetta against Piltover. 

He moved his chair closer. His hands rested on your thighs, slowly trailing up and finding the lacy waistband of your underwear. He slowly dragged it down, but rather than just throw it elsewhere, he took the time to actually set it down atop the pile where your jeans were. 

You, suddenly self conscious, had tried to close your legs. Silco’s hands grabbed onto your knees. “Don’t hide from me, darling. I want to see every part of you. No matter how much you’d rather hide these…” He traced one of your scars. “Imperfections of yours.” 

He leaned down and kissed your thigh again. “Don’t be embarrassed.” He whispered. “I would never judge you.” 

He slowly pulled your legs apart, and you felt exposed. More exposed than you’d ever been in your life. The air in the office, despite its warmth, still sent shivers down your spine when it met the heat that had coiled in your lower regions. His hands rested on your hips as he leaned in. The moment you felt his mouth on you, you had to shut your eyes and collect the thoughts that instantly scattered. A guttural moan left your mouth, overwhelmed by the sudden rush of pleasure. His hands moved down to spread your legs further apart before he started to really get a taste of you. His tongue set out to trace every dip and fold, finding your sensitive spot and then feeling the area around it as if to map you out. He would occasionally switch up his technique, switching from merely lapping at you to drawing out little patterns with the tip of his tongue. Try as you might, you couldn’t keep yourself quiet. His fingers, the sneaky little bastards, had already joined in on the torment without you realizing. While his tongue worked to gently circle around, but never touch your clit, his fingers had already started to test out how tight you were. He let out a hum, seemingly pleased with what he was learning. You barely registered the vibrations, already teetering over the edge of an orgasm. Your legs trembled. You could feel it building as you twitched on his desk. When you felt a second finger– or was that a third? You couldn’t tell. It was hard to focus on both his fingers and his tongue when both were doing so much to keep you from forming a singular, coherent thought. 

You let out a moan, legs instinctively shutting, regardless of the man you had just trapped between them. If he was saying something, you couldn’t hear it over the sound of your heart pounding in your ears. You kept your legs shut, starting to regulate your breathing when he suddenly started moving again. Regardless of the lack of oxygen, it seemed like Silco had taken it upon himself to finish what he had started. Which left you squirming around as all the sudden pleasure reached its peak, and you came crashing down. Your grip on him trembled and you finally released him. He had the mind to stand and move a few things off his desk so that he could lay you down. 

It was then that you saw the mess left on his face. Silco looked down at you before reaching up to feel his cheek. He chuckled and drew his fingers to his mouth. “You’re lucky I don’t mind the mess you’ve just made of my office.” He had started to wipe the remnants off his face as he spoke. “If this continues to happen, I’ll have to get the carpet replaced. At one point, even the desk. All of these, small prices to pay.” He pushed your shirt up to feel your stomach. His hands moved to squeeze and grab at your flesh, almost like a cat kneading a blanket. 

“I’d like you to wear things like this more often.” He reached up and pulled the shirt up to expose your bra. “Of course, if you did, I wouldn’t be able to get any work done.” He reached up and toyed with the fabric, feeling you up through the padding. “I’m not entirely complaining. You are the welcomed distraction in my chaotic world.” 

He looked down at you from where you had remained sprawled out on his desk. “You’ve been oddly quiet. Well, aside from your moaning and all.” 

You stared up at him. You didn’t really have much to say. What were you supposed to say? ‘Thanks for eating me out?’ ‘Hey, you’re surprisingly good with your tongue?’ Every retort that came to your mind was either sarcastic, or some version of a joke. But what ended up coming out of your mouth, turned out to be the very thing that had been on your mind for a while. 

“Do you like me?” 

Silco blinked, having expected some kind of dirty retort instead. 

“Do I like you?” 

“Yes. Do you like me romantically?” You emphasized the word romantically, not wanting him to escape this one. “And don’t use some kind of metaphorical bullshit on me. I want the honest truth. Not some philosophy quote, not your vague little one liners. I want the cold, hard truth.” 

“Nothing about the way I feel about you is cold.” He reached up to run his fingers through your hair. “I do, in fact, like you. I’ve liked you for quite some time now. I like you, romantically. I like you in the sense that I’d like to be with you, as your partner. I like you in the sense that I’d like you to be by my side. I like you in the sense that, God willing, I’d like to grow old with you.” 

“You mean older than you already are.” You said before you could stop yourself. 

He sighed. “Yes, older than I already am. Cheeky brat.” 

You giggled, pulling him down for a quick kiss. You’d rather he brushed his teeth before trying to kiss you after what he’s just done. 

“And you? Do you like me?” Silco asked, raising an eyebrow. 

“Well I thought that was obvious by now. You think I’d wear something like this for anyone? Work the hours I do?”

“I thought I paid you well.” 

“You do.”  

“Yet you complain about the hours?” 

“Shush you. I’m trying to have a little romantic moment here and you’re kinda ruining it.” 

“My apologies. Continue.” 

“As I was saying,” You huffed. “I’ve done a lot of things I wouldn’t normally do. Just to get your attention. It’s kinda stupid of me. I told myself I’d never do anything stupid for a man. Yet here I am.”

“I don’t–” 

“Let me finish.” You gave him a pointed look and he nodded, falling silent. 

“I like you, Silco. Romantically.” You paused and took a breath. “I want to be your partner. I want to be by your side. And I want to be there with you when you’ve achieved this dream of yours, and we get to live somewhere that doesn’t have break ins on a regular basis, or steal or kill or have to do anything like that to survive.” 

It was a quiet few moments before you finally asked the question. “So, will you be my partner?” 

“I’d be honored.” 

Hello, authors note here. I capped this at 8,409 words. Decided to keep the smut focused on you because it felt in character for Silco to prioritize you over himself. But trust, if anonymous requests a part two or smth I will make sure that he gets taken care of. I took my time with this one cause I wanted to do some plant research. Didn't research it too intently because this is just a drabble, but enough to get a few details. Anyways hope you enjoyed. Requests are still open. Here's my feeble attempt at tagging before I pass the hell out, feel free to add any tags you think should be added.

[k-s-morgan]

Hi Katrin,

How are you feeling? I miss your posts every day!

I have a purely theoretical question about ATLWETD. I just can't help imagining stuff - the crazy relationship dynamic between Tom and Harry in your fic just makes my imagination run wild.

In the latest chapters we can see Tom actively probing Harry's boundaries encroaching on his personal space, eating his food, touching his stuff, touching HARRY. It appears Tom is acting possessive on one side, while on the other side he's trying to learn new ways to manipulate Harry, to entice new reactions and to deepen their bond (please correct me if I'm wrong).

Do you think it's possible for Harry to try doing the same ar this stage? Like, he already (unknowingly) had done this, by hugging Tom to distract him - and it actually worked. Harry already knows Tom is a sucker for attention and control. Can Harry hug Tom again to derail him before the later starts feeling murderous towards, let's say, Alphard, after Harry got hurt during the duel because of him? I imagine Harry hugging Tom and quietly (wild dying from embarrassment on the inside) thanking Tom for helping him there - would that actually work??

Asking purely out of interest - it's not like I want Harry to start hugging Tom or reciprocating Tom's games at emotional manipulation, right? RIGHT!?

I know I would learn the answer in the following chapters, but I'm so impatient lately haha I'm simply dying. But, of course, you don't have to answer my question if it contains spoilers or you simply don't feel like responding.

Sending you lots of love and support, I'm looking forward to the new posts just about anything - your metas, thoughts, snippets, life updates. Your fans are always here, waiting for you! 🙏🏽

Hello! Thank you so much for your lovely words, you made me so happy <3 And thanks for such a great question!

You are absolutely right about Tom's motivation. On the one hand, his possessiveness is growing daily: he considers Harry his, and he's determined to integrate himself into every little part of him. On the other hand, this is a whole new tool of manipulation, so Tom is eager to try it out and see where it can lead him.

Tom being murderous toward Alphard will be such a big thing :D Just in general, not just related to that duel. Oh, I really can't wait to get to it. Some of the tags actually apply to this part of the plot.

Now, as for Harry - yes, I think it would be very possible for him to engage in the same emotional manipulation. He usually never knows how he's going to respond to Tom until he's doing it, following raw intuition more than logic, so he could just step closer and touch his hand, or hug him, or smile and say something atypically sweet.

The way it would affect Tom… I think he would be taken aback for sure. At first, he'd be wary, confused, and a little uncomfortable because like you said, he thrives on control. Initiating something is fine with him, but getting Harry to be all physically affectionate back? That would push him out of the familiar zone right away.

Soon enough, I think his confusion would turn into acceptance and then a desire to be the recipient of Harry's tactility. Particularly as Harry wouldn't be doing it constantly - it would happen on occasion only, and Tom would come to anticipate and crave it. His physical attraction to Harry would also likely grow by a lot at this point, so they'd both find themselves entering a new kind of relationship they aren't fully ready for.

How it will actually go in the story - you know, I have no idea! Maybe Harry will be doing this emotional-physical manipulation trick, maybe not - I'll have to see what he says later on :D

[perry-the-platypus-f1cs]

I just read your post about Adler reacting to Philip's trial in MW3. It was so amazing and beautiful that you successfully pushed into that brainrot of Dadler. However! It really got me thinking, what wound he do when in MW2 Philip supposedly "died"? Like, maybe he came home after months but Adler didn't knew at first that his son survived that explosion and like everyone thought Graves died. God I could only imagine..

thank you so much i'm glad you enjoyed it!

And i may or may not have already written something...

so i'll just put this here

The devil knocks on my door. A Dadler and Graveson angst oneshot

Ao3 link

Summary:

Russel Adler’s day was going fine; that is, until he heard a knock at his front door.   And in his gut he knew something was wrong.   Or   Adler gets some news about his dearest and only son. 

(CONTENT WARNING! CONTAINS MENTIONS/DESCRIPTIONS OF SUICIDE AND DEATH.

DO NOT PROCEED IF YOU ARE UNCOMFORTABLE WITH EITHER OF THOSE TOPICS)

Adler was leaning relaxingly against the plush leather couch, a cigar held comfortably between his lips, the warm burn of smoke flowing through his lungs before he exhales the curling smoke out of his nose. The burn of the smoke searing his throat became an everlasting comfort ever since Vietnam and has become a key staple in keeping whatever sanity Adler had left intact. 

The mindless drone of the TV faded into the background as Adler’s attention was brought from the show that Phillip had recommended; the name was something along the lines of ‘The Good Scottish Cook-Off’ or something like that.

Adler stood up from the couch, cigar still held between his lips. He took another puff of the cigar, his warm hand wrapping around the cold metal door handle, swinging open the door, the words already on his lips. He’d been getting pestered by the damn Girl Scouts for so long he actually earned himself a nickname, ‘grumpy.’. “Listen, kids—"

The words died on his lips immediately.

On his front porch stood four uniformed men, two of whom were marines; the other two were shadow lieutenants he had previously met a few months ago at Shadow Company's annual Thanksgiving event. 

His hand reaches up to his mouth, removing the cigar, and letting his hand fall to his sides. The four uniformed men all give him sharp, well-practiced salutes, and one of the marines and a lieutenant, shadowed by the name of Vinson, step forward, and the pit in Adler's stomach pitches deeper and deeper.

“Sir, we regret to inform you that your son, Philip Alex Adler, was recently killed in action.”

The words hung in the air after the marine had spoken them. Vinson didn't dare to look at Adler's face, keeping his head down and eyes focused on his shoes. 

The other words spoken after that bleed into an incomprehensible silence as Adler simply stood there staring down the marine with a haunted look in his eyes as the marine continued to speak. 

“A funeral will be held in his honour in the next few weeks, and you will also be given compensation for his passing, sir. Thank you for your service, and God bless.” The marine’s words were simple despite deviating from the normal passing script fed into the brains of the soldiers who had to break the news.

War was one thing: the bloodshed, the screams, the never-ending nightmares, and more importantly, the guilt. It wasn't just the guilt of surviving when so many of your friends and allies passed; it's the guilt of looking in the eyes of young kids—children—and having them idolise you, saying they want to be ‘just like you,’ unknowing of the horrors of war.

 It was the guilt of knowing that if you could say anything to those kids, it would be, “Don’t fucking do it.” 

And that was all that Adler felt, guilt. He had allowed both his lives to bleed together once his ex-wife gave birth to Philip. Telling war stories instead of fairy tales, teaching his son how to shoot instead of how to ride a bike. All he could think of was how he had failed, failed his son, failed to stop him from joining the marines, and now he had failed to keep his son, his sweet boy, alive.

He had failed, and now his son was dead, and it was no one else's fault but Russell Adler's.

Adler watched as the marines sharply saluted him before turning on their heels and leaving. The shadow lieutenants went to follow, but Adler lifted a hand, stopping them dead in their tracks. “Wait—” Adler cracked his throat dry, and his shirt collar suddenly felt far too tight. 

Adler cleared his throat. “Wait, come in, let’s talk,” Adler said, opening the door further, giving the lieutenants enough room to enter. The soldiers exchanged a brief glance before stepping past the threshold of the Adler residence.

Adler sat in his worn brown leather armchair opposite the matching leather couch that the lieutenants now sat upon. That couch was Phillips' favourite spot to sit when they would watch movies; the thought stung and burnt more painfully than any wound Adler had gained from his years of service.

Before the lieutenants could open their mouths to speak, Adler cut them off. “How did it happen?” he demanded, his voice not giving way to his grief. The other lieutenant, Osmond, spoke; his voice was quiet and soft. “Sir—” The second the first syllable left the man's mouth, Adler lifted a hand that now held a firmly crushed cigar.

“No, listen to me. Tell me how it happened, or I will report you for not giving information to a clandestine special officer. Do I make myself clear, soldier?” Adler demanded his voice be barred on threatening.

Osmond’s eyes fell to the floor once again. Vinson placed a comforting hand on his comrade’s shoulder before locking eyes with Adler, his voice trembling slightly as he recounted what happened. 

“It was a tank explosion, sir, Commander Garves-Phillip. Was inside at the time we tried to get him out...but...it was no use. I'm sorry, sir. We couldn’t save your son.” Vinson's words filled the quiet space, and Adler let out a soft sigh, his shoulders slumping down from their usual tense perch.

Adler haphazardly placed the squished cigar in an ashtray placed on the glass coffee table. Adler holds his head in his hands for a moment, running his hands across his scalp, nails digging into his skull, before he runs them over his face, catching the small droplets threatening to fall from his eyes. He lets out another heavy sigh before sitting up straight again, clearing his throat. 

“Do you boys have a…replacement lined up for his position?” Adler questions, lifting his head again to look at the shadow lieutenants, who both shake their heads.

Adler hums, eyes tracing over the side table on his left, eyes racing over the videotapes and files that decorated the small table. Adler reached over, plucking a company card from the pile and handing it to Osmond. 

“His name’s Case, an old colleague of mine; he’s a good man. If you're still looking for a commander and want someone out of the system, he’s the man you want.” Adler informs his voice, straining with each word, his throat too dry and his shirt too tight. 

The pair look down at the company card and then back up at Adler, their faces flickering with unseen emotions. Vinson nods once, “Thank you, sir.” He replied quietly, revving a sharp nod from Adler, followed by a dismissive hand gesture.

Yeah, well, don’t let an old man like me keep you from your duties. My son made it a well-oiled machine; I hope you lot will keep it that way.” He dismissed, head turning to look out of the window at the large garden that he had helped Phillip plant when his son was just a boy; the oak tree they had both planted now stood tall amongst the other shrubbery. 

The only sign that the lieutenants had left was the sound of shuffling and the front door opening and closing. 

Now Adler was left alone in his quiet estate with no one to wait for. 

Before he knew what he was doing, Adler's hands wrapped around the grip of his trustworthy pistol that had been through it all with him from Vietnam to the end of the Cold War and the start and end of the Gulf War.

He had used this pistol to kill Bell, and thinking back on it, the communist bastard was probably laughing in his grave right about now. Ironic.

The cold muzzle of the gun pressed against the underside of Adler's chin, thin streams of tears following down his face, dipping into the crevasses of his scar.

“I’ll see you soon, kiddo.”

And with that, Russel T. Adler took his last breath and pulled down on the trigger. 

A gunshot echoed through the Adler estate, and in the deepest pits of the underworld, father and son reunited. 

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

putting my prediction on record now that the coming decade is going to see the rise of viral-marketed fancy at-home water filtration systems, driving and driven by a drastic reduction in the quality of U.S. tap water (given that we are in a 'replacement era' where our current infrastructure is reaching the end of its lifespan--but isn't being replaced). also guessing that by the 2030s access to drinkable tap water will be a mainstream class issue, with low-income & unstably housed people increasingly forced to rely on expensive bottled water when they can't afford the up-front cost of at-home filtration--and with this being portrayed in media as a "moral failing" and short-sighted "choice," rather than a basic failure of our political & economic systems. really hope i'm just being alarmist, but plenty of this already happens in other countries, and the U.S. is in a state of decline, so. here's praying this post ages into irrelevance. timestamped April 2023

[dawnthefluffyduck]

New game interest unlocked

(crow in bottom right belongs to @patchwork-crow-writes)

[seventh-district]

7am, eating cold leftover teriyaki stir-fry for breakfast and crying over blorbos

[icewindandboringhorror]

Apparently I can meet my goal of roughly 400,000 words in 6 months if I just somehow write at least 2,200 words a day ghbjh... Almost 2,500 today... huzzah...

[izzy-b-hands]

I will be forever grateful i can be on this new med. it's one a lot of folks also need and can struggle to have access to! It's important i be on it, especially if i start doing any vid collabs

(some of which, really, all of which, i unfortunately actually need to cancel that were in the preplanning stages, bc the election results have me wanting to wait and see how the general atmosphere of the country is before i agree to meet up with anyone. I feel bad for cancelling, but also i just can't know for sure how safe things are/might be going forward and I'd rather avoid the potential of. ya know. various not great things that could happen at a meet up, tho i would certainly hope they wouldn't. i don't feel like actually addressing them rn, u guys know what i mean)

That said, if the truvada initial side effects could fuck off asap would be so lovely. three weeks at worst, then they should be gone/much better or so i am told. really hope that's true bc losing my mornings to being dizzy and nauseous is Not Working for me lmao. im on week two, and now understand why my new doc said to call if i needed any 'cheerleading' and support to get thru the side effects, bc apparently she's done that for several ppl to make sure they actually make it thru the three weeks and keep on it (lovely of her!!)

[ms-demeanor]

Sometimes college professors like to hop on my posts lamenting the sorry state of syllabi these days and joke about how they haven't thought that far ahead in the course themselves, or talk about how they struggle to complete a schedule for their students.

With all due respect, that's your job. If you can't do your job, you should have a different job. If you need help, ask your colleagues or your department chair or *someone* because I know that professors aren't given a hell of a lot of education on how to educate, so you probably *need* help.

But every single time I make one of those posts I get anywhere from ten to thirty messages, replies, reblogs, and asks say "oh man, that's exactly why I had to drop out of school; I couldn't keep up with the assignments because I didn't know when they were due until the week they were due."

I have been a college student in three separate decades, and "not having a schedule of assignments in the syllabus" is new to my experience. That shit didn't fly in the 2000s or 2010s and I think it likely has to do with professors being overly reliant on apps.

AT A MINIMUM your syllabus should have:

Contact information (including preferred method of contact) for the professor

Office Hours

Grading Policy

Assignment schedule.

Your assignment schedule doesn't necessarily need to have the exact page numbers of every reading or a full assignment sheet for each project, but it should have things like:

December 1st - Major Project 3 second draft due December 9th - Quiz 10 December 12th - Major Project 3 final draft due December 15th - Final Exam

If you end up presenting a more thorough schedule with readings and homework later, that is acceptable to present a week or two into the semester but it is absolutely insane to me that students these days don't know what homework they're going to have to get done over Thanksgiving break during the first couple weeks of class.

If I had three professors at once who didn't give me a schedule, how on earth would I know if I was going to have to read three chapters of a novel, take a midterm and turn in two stats homework assignments, and complete a history research paper the same week that I'm planning to travel to see family? If I'm aware of this from the beginning of the semester I can make sure not to pick up extra shifts, or I can plan to leave a day later to accommodate the midterm, or I can start working on the paper early to complete it before the due date but if I don't know what's going to be due when, I'm going to have a big problem.

If you don't give your students a schedule you are communicating that you don't care about their schedule, and that you think it's their responsibility to contort their life (and their job, and their other classes) around your class, and honestly my advice to students in that situation is "drop in the first week and pick up another class". That's actually part of why I recommend signing up for one more class than you can really manage - if you get a professor whose class looks like it's going to be a disaster because they don't have a schedule, you can bail before the withdrawal period and get a refund for the class.

I'm only in one class this semester but the professor's response has fully dropped me into "Fuck it, I guess I'll fail" mode and I don't even know if I can pull myself out of my current D grade because I don't know how many assignments we have left in the semester.

This is a shitty way to run a class. If you can't do better than this, you shouldn't be running a class.

[thebibliosphere]

To be clear, unless staff trips over the trail of extension cords keeping the servers running, Tumblr likely isn't going anywhere any time soon.

What the info we've seen suggests is that updates are going to slow down, maintenance is maybe going to get a little shaky, and we're going to see more glitches as time goes on and the remaining staff gets further behind their workload.

Is this a good thing? No, absolutely not.

Should you be panicking, jumping overboard, running for the hills, etc? Also no.

So what does it mean?

Well, for myself and several other creatives you all saw tagged in that post, it means we're looking around trying to figure out what to do in the long run. We're not running for the lifeboats. We're just eyeing the iceberg in the distance and getting our shit together in the event that the worst comes to pass.

Speaking for myself, I intend to crawl through the walls of Tumblr until they pry me out of the air vents armed with a broom and oven mitts. I'm not going anywhere until the lights go out, and even then, I'll be chewing on the wires.

But that doesn't mean I'm not looking around for somewhere to land when the time comes.

Myself and several others are not panicking about this, but we are trying to be organized about it.

I'm just old enough to remember when fandom websites being nuked overnight was a very real thing. You'd go to bed one night and wake up the next day to find friends you'd known for years were just gone with no means of contacting them because the site you'd been using got wiped. Entire collections of fandom history were just destroyed in the blink of an eye.

We don't want that again. And the good news is, we have time. We have time to back up our shit, time to swap contact info with our friends, and time to find a new place to exist within our communities while also staying here because Tumblr ain't dead yet.

She's just slowly going to wind down over time.

Unless, of course, they trip over the cables. Then we're fucked.

[dlxxv-vetted-donations]

Help support Reema's academic career and family

This post will no longer be updated, see here instead.

URGENT: We have 281 hours to get Reema registered in university. Done!!!

My other promotion lists

Updated: Sep 22

Update Sep 20: This campaign is NOT done, Reema is waiting for her campaign manager to raise it to $25,000. A short-term goal is CAD $1,800 for a new laptop (including gfm and banking fees), but this is a projected estimate and I'll have a clearer number when I get more details.

Member(s): @reemash46 (shadowbanned), @reema16 (shadowbanned), @reemagaza (Reema), IG: reema_shurr (confirmed hers, see under cut for proof)

Verification: Operation Olive Branch Masterlist #18

Payment methods: Credit/debit, Paypal through my Kofi (Be warned that Paypal takes a cut. I will post proof of donation within 24h under the 'receipts' tag)

Donation match: $5 CAD (see under cut), $5 CAD

Summary: Reema is an evacuated Palestinian studying pharmacy abroad in Egypt and just paid off her tuition. She needs additional funds to care for herself and her family back home.

Current progress:

CAD $ 15,514 20,051 / 25,000

CAD is weak compared to other common currencies. Your donation can go a long way.

Campaign details:

Reema is the cousin of @mohamedabushaban06 (source). A few days ago, I made an emergency promotion to get Mohammed registered for college abroad here (It's not urgent anymore but he can still use support).

She's a 4th (out of 5) year pharmaceutical student currently studying abroad in Egypt after her school in Gaza was destroyed. Pharmacy school is difficult but she has a high average.

She just fundraised enough to pay her tuition for all her remaining schooling (see fund allocation section) and will start her semester on Sep 21, 2024.

The campaign goal was raised to $25,000 and the additional $5,000 will go towards academic needs and Reema's family back in Palestine.

She needs a new laptop after losing her old one.

Fund allocation:

All the original $20k is for paying off all of Reema's remaining schooling. There was a rush to get her from $15k to $20k to pay off her current semester due to banking complications. Her campaign manager was not in Canada until very recently and could not access the funds already in the campaign.

Even now, the manager can only send $1,500 at a time. At the time of writing this (Sep 22), I'm not sure when Reena can access the $15k and she isn't online often because she has the flu.

MISC:

Sep 10: Donation match $5 CAD

Reema on IG confirms the Tumblr is hers

[harrysfolklore]

what's a soft launch? - fc43

summary: fraco's girlfriend wants him to soft launch their relatioship but franco has no idea of what a soft launch is. based on this request

folkie radio: ANOTHER FRANCO SMAU !! i'm currently working on a long franco fic so consider this a little treat while i finish that one👀 i hope you enjoy!

MASTERLIST | PATREON

liked my francolapinto, yourbff and 378 others

yourinstagram im the proudest girlfriend in the world because my boy is officially F1 DRIVER !! 🥹 go crush it my love 💙

view all comments

yourbff cuties 😍😍

username1 vamos franco !!

username2 ahhh congrats franco

username3 you’re officially a formula 1 WAG now how cool

username4 don’t forget me when you become the next alexandra saint mleux

username5 yaaayy for franco

username6 my favorite couple before you get viral

francolapinto te quiero hermosa 😍😍❤️

↳ yourinstagram 🥰🥰😚

liked by alex_albon, yourinstagram and 701,628 others

francolapinto VAMOS! excited for my first race in monza this weekend 🇮🇹

view all comments

username1 YAAAS

username2 hello ???? he’s gorgeous

username3 UMMM i was sad about logan but look at THIS

alex_albon 👏👏👏 Welcome !

landonorris let’s have some funnn

username4 IS HE SINGLE????

↳ username1 from what i’ve gathered, he has posts with a girl from last year but nothing recent (the girl’s account is private)

↳ username2 HES SINGLE WE WON

williamsracing 💙

username5 I HAVE MY NEW GRID CRUSH

yourinstagram 😍😍🤤 my man

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liked by francolapinto, yourbff and 375 others

yourinstagram cheering on my baby from home 🥺💙 VAMOS FRANCO !!

view all comments

yourbff YAYYY💘

username1 vamosss franco

username2 get your paddock passes girl

username3 gorgeous 😍

username4 we need your WAG debut

username5 🙌🙌🙌🙌

username6 i need that hoodie !!

francolapinto 😍😍😍

francolapinto i miss you so muchhh i love you

↳ yourinstagram love you forever

liked by yourinstagram, pierregasly and 587,638 others

francolapinto Que dia inolvidable… thank you so much for this opportunity 🇦🇷🤍💙🥹

view all comments

username1 KING

username2 franco colapinto consider me your fan

username3 HES SO DAMN HOT

williamsracing VAMOS 🙌

username4 LET ME BE YOUR WOMAN

username5 i can’t believe a man THIS hot is single

charles_leclerc Welcome 👌👌

username6 i bet he’s on raya and i’m not giving up until i find him

username7 both him and lando being single.. paris is my favorite city

username8 FOAMING AT THE MOUTH

username9 how long until he starts dating the journalist that kept flirting with him

yourinstagram 😍😍😍

yourinstagram mi amor ❤️

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yourinstagram has added to their stories

replies:

francolapinto im only yourssss bonita, always

↳ yourinstagram 🥹

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liked by francolapinto, yourbff and 398 others

yourinstagram a few days of rest and relaxation with mi amor 🥰

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username1 cutiesss

username2 my favorite anonymous WAG

yourbff my babies <33

username3 😍😍😍

username4 girl when are you going to the paddock?

↳ yourinstagram sooon

username5 i’m your biggest fan

username6 couple goals

francolapinto I love youuu😘😘😘

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liked by username1, username2 and 3,987 others

f1gossip During Williams' latest podcast episode, Alex Albon joked that Franco Colapinto's superpower was "his ability to charm all the ladies everywhere", Franco said that no one is charming him because he has a girlfriend 👀

view all comments

username1 HUHHH

username2 franco is so strange

username3 i know his ass is lying

username4 WHAT HAPPENED TO THE ORIGINAL PLOT OF THE MOVIEEEEE

username5 sometimes i don't understand what's up with him

username6 watch him flirt with all the interviewers tomorrow tho

username7 NOO FRANCO YOU'RE SINGLE

username8 he's lying his ass offffff

username9 pics or didn't happen

liked by francolapinto, lilymhe and 402 others

yourinstagram my first grand prix weeked. no biggie im ready

view all comments

username1 yayy about time girl!

yourbff HAVE FUN and don't forget to send me pics 💕

username2 my favorite WAG

lilymhe welcome to our silly world 💙

↳ yourinstagram love you already !

carmenmmundt So nice to meet you sweetie!

↳ yourinstagram likewise 🥺

username3 you're going to change us for your new wag friends

↳ yourinstagram neverrr

lilyzneimer 🤩

francolapinto My girl and now everyone will know 😉

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liked by francolapinto, yourinstagram and 865,088 others

williamsracing Love is in the air in Austin 💙

tagged: francolapinto, yourinstagram

view all comments

username1 OMFG??

username2 NOT WILLIAMS EXPOSING HER INSTA

username3 WAIT i saw pics of franco tagging her BUT I DIDN'T THINK THEY WERE A COUPLE

username4 AHHH HER INSTA IS PRIVATE

lilymhe 💕💕💕

username5 franco colapinto is the coolest driver the grid had seen recently

username6 GET FRANCO A SEAT

username7 they said fuck a soft launch

username8 THAT SHOULD BE ME

francolapinto 😍😍

yourinstagram 🥺

liked by username1, username2 and 5,099 others

f1gossip "My girlfriend is over there, she said she wanted to do something called sub lunch, or what was it called? Soft launch, yeah that. No hablo ingles no se que es, I just brought her with me so everyone can see I'm happily taken" - Franco for Sky before the race 😭😭

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username1 FRANCO OMFG

username2 hes so unintentionally funny

username3 him saying that he doesn't know what a soft launch is bc he doesn't speak english was me ROLLING

username4 franco the man that you are

username5 I CANT DO THIS 😩😩😩

username6 i need him bibically

username7 HES SO MESSY

username8 i need this or nothing

yourinstagram has added to their stories

replies:

lilymhe where have you been all my life?

↳ yourinstagram in the junior formulas 😂😂

yourbff my favorite WAG

francolapinto hermosa 😍😍

↳ yourinstagram love you so damn muuuch

username1 feed the people put the instagram public

↳ yourinstagram maybe...

liked by francolapinto, lilymhe and 348,099 others

yourinstagram he didn't understand the concept of a soft launch so we had to do this in the middle of the paddock 😅 love you so much mi amor @/francolapinto

view all comments

username1 AHHH

username2 HER INSTA IS PUBLIC NOW

username3 all the boyfriend content here im going insane

lilymhe cuties 💕

↳ alex_albon We need to step up our game

↳ lilymhe definitely

↳ username1 i love them sm

username5 THIS SHOULD'VE BEEN ME

username6 franco colapinto being a simp in a long term relationship wasn't on my bingo card

username7 can we talk about how pretty she is tho?

username8 THANK YOU FOR LETTING US IN BESTIE

francisca.cgomes my new bestie actually!

↳ yourinstagram love you already 🥺

↳ username2 AHHH BEST WAGS

username9 scrolled all the way down and she has the cutest posts about franco i cant

username10 IM SO JEALOUS

username11 franco not knowing what a soft launch is PEAK COMEDY

francolapinto love you hermosa 😍

↳ yourinstagram 😙😙😙

liked by yourinstagram, alex_albon and 1,022,379 others

francolapinto what's a soft launch?

view all comments

username1 FRANCOOOOO

username2 i love him so bad

username3 HOW TO MAKE A FORMULA 1 TEAM FOR FRANCO COLAPINTO FROM SCRATCH

username4 this man is so messy i cant help but love him

oscarpiastri I didn't know what that meant either, don't worry

↳ username1 LORD HELP ME 😭😭

olliebearman 🙌

username5 FRANCO LET ME BE YOUR WOMAN 😩😩

username6 franco is really a SIMP and not a fuckboy like everyone thought WE WON

williamsracing We love to see it💙💙

username7 wiki how to have franco's gfs life

username8 CRYING

username9 franco don't you ever gatekeep her from us again we need her at every race

yourinstagram i'm the luckiest ever 💕

↳ username1 AND YOU ARE

↳ francolapinto love you forever hermosa

[javierpena-inatacvest]

Me, You, and Baby, Too

Summary: You and Joel have always wanted kids, but didn't want to rush into having them until you both were ready. After a surprise at his job, Joel realizes there's nothing more he wants to do than put a baby in you as soon as he gets home.

Pairing: Husband!Joel Miller x Wife!Reader (no use of y/n)

Word Count: 4.1K

Warnings: SMUT (18+), unprotected p in v sex (it's baby making time, so hush), oral (f receiving), vaginal fingering, big ole fat and nasty breeding kink (.... don't look at me it's bad), creampie, cum play, talks of starting a family, calling Joel "Daddy" (in the sense you want to have his babies, but also 🤷🏼‍♀️), Sweet soft Joel who loves his wife and would give her the universe if he could, honestly with just the way Joel is talking about makin' babies, I think I'm pregnant

A/N: It's that time of the month where Madeline ovulates and writes feral breeding kink smut!!! 🤪 Okay I am so nervous to post this because I have never written for Joel before and I'm worried it's trash with a capital T, but after re-watching TLOU, I need 2003 Joel Miller carnally, so here we are. This is also inspired by @mrsmando post about 2003 Joel Miller constantly keeping you barefoot and pregnant because it made me unwell, and no lies were told. (thanks for ruining my life mimi) 🤠 ANYWHO I hope you guys like it, and if not, I'll shut up and go back to writing Javi and Frankie and pretend like this didn't happen

There were a lot of stereotypical answers that you expected from your husband when you asked him how his day at work had been:  

“Good.” 

“Fine.” 

“Long.” 

“My knees are killin’ me.” 

“Tommy did somethin’ fuckin’ stupid again.” 

“Better now that I’m home with you.” 

So when Joel arrived home today after a new job he had started with Tommy on a bathroom renovation, there were few things that could have prepared you for the response your husband had when you asked him how his day had gone. 

“Hey, honey. How was your day today?” You smiled, watching Joel stroll in through your front door, kicking off his work boots at the entryway, beginning to put away his things before strolling into the kitchen to greet you. 

“Pretty good." He paused, leaning in for a quick kiss before making his way over to the closet before speaking again. "Saw a real cute baby today.” 

You could practically feel your heart skip a beat as you looked up from the vegetables you had been cutting up for dinner, tightening the grip you had around your knife to make sure you didn’t drop it in shock. 

Out of all the things for Joel to bring up on the first day at a new job, a cute baby had been at the top of the list.

Not floor plans. 

Not timelines for the project.

Not something stupid that Tommy did. 

Not even what he had done today on the job. 

The top news that Joel Miller had to report back to you about his day was the sighting of a cute baby. 

You and Joel had always agreed that you’d wanted kids, and your husband had been not only adamant, but genuinely excited at the prospect of becoming a dad. But only being a little less than a year into your marriage, the two of you had decided you didn’t want to rush into anything, and when the time felt right, you’d both know it. 

But one by one, as your friends began to announce their pregnancies, baby showers, and pictures of their adorable newborns, you couldn’t help but deny the baby fever starting to burn hotter and hotter inside you with every passing day. 

You’d brought it up in passing a few times with Joel, talking about your friends who had kids, or a cute mom and her children you saw walking around in your neighborhood, and while he had always had a positive response to what you had to say, you just had a feeling that now just wasn’t the time for the two of you yet, and that was okay.  

But here you were, standing in your kitchen, jaw practically scraping the ground at the notion that your husband had dropped just about the least subtle hint ever that babies weren’t just at the forefront of your mind- they were on his, too. 

“Awh, really?” You asked, shaking your head to snap out of your shocked state, returning back to dice the onion you had been working on before Joel could turn around to see you after finishing hanging up his things in the closet, trying to subtly coax more information out of him. 

“Yeah.” He smiled, joining you in the kitchen, wrapping an arm around your waist to pull you closer to his chest for a soft kiss to greet you, “The family we’re startin’ the bathroom reno for just moved in. Had their first baby a few months ago and just hadn’t had time to work on fixin’ things.” 

“So they’re already putting the baby to work with you and Tommy?” You teased, raising an eyebrow at Joel playfully, giving him a quick peck back on the lips as he laughed at your sass. 

“Cheap labor.” Joel shrugged back, playing into the joke, “Nah, she woke up from her nap while Tommy and I were runnin’ through some measurements so her mom brought her out for the last lil bit we were there. She was damn cute, too. Just smilin’ and laughin’ at everything.” 

You were glad Joel’s arm was still wrapped around your hip, because you were convinced if it wasn’t, you were about to melt to the floor into a puddle, watching how soft and sweet Joel was talking about a cute, smiling baby. 

“Well a cute baby definitely sounds like a very nice perk of being on the job.” You smirked, trying to play it cool enough to keep your heart from bursting out of your chest. 

“Yeah.” Joel replied softly, quietly pausing for a moment, watching the gears turning in his brain, carefully calculating his words before he spoke. 

“You okay?” You asked, looking up at Joel, knowing your husband well enough that he had something on his mind he was trying to work up the confidence to spit out. 

Joel looked back down at you, big brown eyes locking with yours as his grip around your waist tightened ever so slightly, tongue swiping against his plush bottom lip as he took a long, deep breath in and slow exhale out.  

“Honey, what is it?” You asked again, now slightly concerned with how nervous your husband looked in his stoic silence, reaching up to gently wrap your fingers around his arm, thumb stroking his skin. 

“I want one.” 

You froze, worried that your heart may have actually stopped as you looked at Joel, making sure that you had really just heard what he had said. 

“W-what?” 

“I want one. A baby. I- I know it’s been a while since we’ve talked about it, but I’ve been thinkin’ about it a lot, and seein’ that baby today, it just- shit, I just couldn’t stop picturin’ what it would be like to have one of our own I guess.” 

If you weren’t a puddle before, you sure as fuck were now.  

An overwhelming sensation of nerves and excitement began thrumming through your veins, your heart beat pounding in your ears as your face grew warm and a smile started to spread between your cheeks. You were almost certain you had to be dreaming, asking again to make sure that someone needed to come and wake you up and send you back to reality. 

“Joel… Really?” 

“Yeah, really. Nothin’ I want more. I know I ain’t gonna even be close to the perfect dad, but I know you’ll be sucha good mom, and I’ll be damned if I don’t want some tiny lil versions of us runnin’ around. Couldn’t think of anything that would make me happier than that. Like I said, I know that we ain’t talked about in a while, and if ya aren’t ready yet that’s okay but I-” 

Before Joel could even finish the rest of his thought, you were pressing up to plant your lips to his with passionate intensity, hands roaming up his chest before cupping his jaw and the scratchy stubble of his cheeks while your stomach flipped with arousal and want, already feeling a damp patch beginning to pool in the cotton of your underwear. 

You pulled away, kisses traveling along his jawline and up his neck until you were nipping at his ear, the hot breath of your words whispering against his skin. 

“You wanna make a baby, Joel Miller?” 

“Fuck-” Joel groaned, reaching his other arm around you grab at your ass, pulling you in tight enough to feel the bulge beginning to grow under the denim of his worn jeans, pressing against your thigh.

“‘Cause there’s nothing that I want more than to make you a daddy.” You smirked, looking up to watch Joel’s eyes darken with lust, jaw going slack as a low groan rumbled in his chest, his once half hard cock now fully erect and straining against his zipper, trying to keep from giggling watching your husband try to string together any sort of thoughts to speak. 

“Jesus fuckin’ Christ-” He moaned, running his hand over his face to try and regain his composure to keep from busting right then and there. “You- fuck, you sure, baby?” 

“Mhmmmm. Don’t think I’ve ever been so sure of anything in my whole life. So sure,” you paused, softly pressing your lips to his between words, “that I think we should go make one right now.” 

Your adamant confirmation was all it took to set off something almost animalistic in Joel, crashing his lips back into yours in a messy clash of tongues and teeth, gripping his hands under your thighs to hoist you up around his hips and lock your legs behind the small of his back. Without ever letting your mouths part, Joel was already halfway to the bedroom before you had even realized it, playfully giggling at how frantically he was carrying you down the hallway, your bodies bumping against the walls and door frames, too focused on desperate and needy kisses for any sort of spatial awareness. 

Finally reaching your bed, Joel carefully laid you down, letting your back fall into the mattress, leaving your lower half to hang off the edge before your husband was on his knees, settling himself between your parted thighs. 

You sat up on your elbows, watching as Joel tightened his grip around the meat of your legs, peppering kisses up the inside of each across your soft skin before coming face to face with your core, planting another soft kiss there before letting his fingers ghost over your heat, still covered by your jeans. 

He rapidly worked at the button of your pants, shuffling them down off your hips to reveal your underwear, now absolutely soaked with arousal from the prospect alone of Joel knocking you up and carrying his baby. 

“Jesus Christ, baby girl, look at ‘cha.” Joel tutted, admiring how the cotton of your underwear clung to the outline of your cunt, sticking to the puffy and swollen lips of your pussy from how wet you were. “Haven’t even touched ya yet. This all for me, darlin’?” 

Just as you began to try and answer, Joel took one of his fingers, barely dragging it over the damp fabric before beginning to rub soft circles over your covered clit, eliciting a pathetic whimper from you at the electric sensation.  

“F-fuck- It’s all for you, b-baby.” You stammered, moaning even louder as a second finger joined the first, pressing more pressure into you sensitive nub as he nudged each of your legs to drape over his shoulders, his free hand tugging at the waistband of your underwear, making you instinctually lift your hips as he yanked them off your legs to crumple in a messy pile with your pants. 

“Prettiest fuckin’ pussy I’ve ever seen.” Joel mewled, running his fingers up and down through the weeping seams of your folds, toying with your entrance while draping his arm across your hips to hold your squirming lower half in place. “Wants me to fuck her full of me and fill her up so bad, huh?” 

“P-please, Joel. Want you to fill me up so badly.” You whimpered, staring down at your husband, a devilish grin spread across his face, licking his lips as his eyes darted back and forth between your blissed out face and the glistening mess between your thighs. 

“I will sweetheart, promise. Gotta taste you first though, baby. Gotta make sure you’re nice n’ready for me. ‘Cause once we start, I ain’t lettin’ you outta this bed ‘till I knock you up.” 

With that, Joel was diving between your legs, lapping you up in long and firm strokes, pressing against your clit in the way he knew would make you fall apart under his tongue. While he would have loved to have spend hours just like this, making you writhe under his touch, drinking up your arousal like a wandering man parched in the heat of the desert, Joel had one thing on his mind, and one thing only- 

To get you pregnant.   

Joel began to intensify the pace of his tongue, swirling and sucking around your clit as two of his thick fingers pushed into your heat, sliding in and out of your entrance with ease from how wet and worked up you were. Curling his fingers ever so slightly, you cried out as Joel bumped against your g-spot, pushing against the soft, spongy spot as his tongue worked its magic. 

You could feel the arousal shooting through your veins, heat beginning to bloom in your stomach as Joel fucked you with his fingers and mouth, shooting your hand down to grab fistfulls of his thick, brown hair to brace yourself for your impending orgasm. 

“J-Joel, oh fuck- Fuck, baby, I’m c-close. Don’t stop, please, don’t stop.” You whined, pussy beginning to flutter around Joel’s fingers, the tightening only egging him on further to get you to cross the finish line. 

With just a little more pressure of his tongue, Joel could feel your cunt clamping down around his digits, watching the pleasure shoot through your body as you came, your orgasm crashing through you like a tsunami. 

As you reached your high, Joel drank up your arousal, not faltering in his pace, too focused on your pretty cries of his name being chanted like a prayer to do anything but keep going and making you feel good. 

Truth be told, Joel had gotten so lost between your thighs, the only thing stopping him was the tensing feeling between his, so pussy drunk and determined to fuck you full of him that he was worried he was about to cum too if he didn’t stop. 

Pulling off you, Joel frantically stood up, racing to undo his belt and jeans, yanking them down his legs in tandem with his boxers as his cock slapped against his stomach, precum already pearling from his tip, desperate to be inside of you. His shirt quickly followed his pants, ripping it over his head as his broad body caged yours under him, helping you to scoot back on the bed until your head hit the pillows, trailing kisses up and down your body the whole way. 

As Joel kissed and nipped at your skin, you quickly shuffled off your top and bra, leaving you bare beneath him, moaning as his tongue flicked against each of your newly exposed pebbled nipples, grouping your breast and kneading the soft flesh in his palms. 

Even though you had just came, you could already feel your cunt starting to clench around nothing, desperate to feel Joel inside of you, to stretch you out with his thick cock and fuck you until you couldn’t think straight. But with the way your chest was heaving and breath shaking from your orgasm, you could barely muster out the words you wanted. 

“J-Joel, p-please, baby. P-please.” 

You snaked your hand between your bodies to reach for Joel’s cock, wrapping your fingers around his length and swiping your thumb over his leaking tip, a low groan rumbling in his chest as you stroked him, trying to guide him to slide between your legs and ease your ache. 

Lowering his hips, you moved your hand and let his replace it, Joel pumping himself a few times before guiding his tip between your folds, collecting your slick to coat his cock, using every last ounce of self-control he had as his eyes locked with yours, wanting to see your face as he pushed inside you. 

“Please, what, darlin’?” Joel teased, knowing damn well what you were begging for. 

“Need to feel you, Joel. Need you to put a baby in me.” You moaned, reaching up to grab his face, your palm rubbing against his stubble as your fingers tugged on the curls at the nape of his neck. 

With one more pump, Joel lined himself up with your entrance, sliding into your heat, the sweet stretch and sting of his length making the breath hitch in the back of your throat, filling you up inch by inch until he bottomed out inside you with his tip just kissing your cervix. 

Joel couldn’t help but smirk as he watched your mouth fall open, parted lips letting a soft moan escape while your eyes nearly rolled to the back of your head at the newfound sensation, giving you another moment to adjust before he began to slowly roll his hips, dragging his cock in and out of your core. 

“Christ, baby girl, so wet and tight. Like this pussy was made just for me. Made for me to fuck ya full of me until it’s got no choice but to fuckin’ take.” Joel groaned, reaching down to grab your thighs, pinning your knees to your chest, stretching you open to take Joel even deeper, practically feeling him in your stomach with the position he had you in. 

“Joel, oh my god- fuck, you feel so good. Fuck, baby. Want you to fill me up so bad.” You whimpered, Joel now beginning to pick up his pace as he thrust in and out of you, continually punching in that perfect spot over and over again, leaving your brain bordering on short circuiting. 

Joel’s fingertips dug deeper into the flesh of your thighs, pushing your legs down just far enough to be chest to chest with you, the sweat dampened curls of his forehead brushing against yours as your mouths met in an electric kiss, catching each other’s muffled moans with each snap of Joel’s hips. 

“Yeah, sweetheart? Want me to fill you up? Fuck a baby into you? Let everyone see what a pretty momma you are, carryin’ our kid?” Joel grunted, picturing you, months from now, belly round and tits swollen, pregnant with your baby, wondering how many you’d let him give you, because fuck, he’d keep knocking you up until he had nothing left to give. 

Each push and pull of your bodies against each other felt more and more electric, an undeniable coil tightening in your stomach with the way Joel was pounding into you and the hairs at the base of his cock were brushing against your clit, already feeling yourself beginning to teeter on the brink of pleasure once again. 

“Yes, fuck, fuck- yes, Joel. I wanna have your baby. Want you to knock me up so I can make you a daddy. Please, baby, please.” You were all but sobbing at this point, your fingers digging into the tan and sweat sheened skin of Joel’s broad shoulders, overwhelmed by the lewd combinations of Joel’s heavy pants in your ear and wet squelching of your pussy as his pelvis flushed against yours repeatedly. 

Joel could feel you beginning to tighten around him, pussy sucking him in with its warmth and wetness, ready to clamp around his cock and milk him for all he was worth. 

“That’s it, darlin’, I know you’re close. Gotta cum for me first though, baby girl. Gotta feel ya soak me before I stuff ya so full of me, I swear t’god, you’ll be drippin’ outta me for days. So fuckin’ full that I’ll get you pregnant right now.” Joel groaned through gritted teeth, leaning back to reach and grab your leg, wrapping it around the small of his back before you lifted your other to join it, locking your ankles to keep him as close to you as possible. 

“Joel, oh my god, fuck baby, fuck, I’m gonna- fuckfuckfuck-” 

Suddenly, your orgasm was rushing through every inch of you, crying out as the pleasure hit you like a freight train, choking Joel’s cock with your pussy, unable to do anything but relish in the white hot bliss that had you nearly floating out of your own body. 

While Joel would have kept fucking you until the sun went down, the truth was he was relieved to feel you cum, spending every second since your agreement in the kitchen trying to keep from finishing until he was balls deep inside you and you were soaking his cock as you reached your high. The realization that now was his chance to make good on his promise, to fill you up and fuck a baby into you, ignited something primal, feral, in him, pounding into you at a punishing pace as he could feel himself teetering on the brink of collapse right with you. 

“That’s my girl. That’s it, cum all over my cock, baby. Shit, I’m gonna cum too, fuck- gonna fill this tight lil pussy up so goddamn much, give you a baby, make you a momma, oh fuck!” 

With one final stutter of his hips, Joel let out a strangled moan, flushing his hips against yours as he milked himself of every last drop, painting your warm, wet walls with hot ropes of his spend, making sure nothing went to waste. 

He couldn’t help but but press even further into you, plugging you with his length and fucking his cum as deep as he could into your cunt to make sure it took, collapsing on top of you with his cock still buried in your heat, letting your chests heave together in sync as you both caught your breath. 

Joel was convinced he had never cum so much in his entire life, afraid that if he pulled out, that somehow he’d have more left to give, and sure as fuck wasn’t going to risk letting anything coming out of him end up not inside of you. 

Well, not until your muffled grunt rumbled beneath him. 

 “Joel, baby, I love you but you’re kinda squishing me.” You huffed, giggling to yourself as you watched your husband come-to in real time out of his post-orgasmic state, immediately offering a half muttered apology as he rolled off you, sitting back on his knees to admire the shiny and slick mess between your legs. 

“Fuck me…” Joel murmured to himself, eyes wide as he stared at your pussy- wet, puffy and soaking with your arousal, bringing his fingers to your spent hole as he watched a dribble of his cum begin to leak out. Gently scooping it up, he collected everything he could, pressing it back into your cunt before pulling his hand out. Crawling up the bed to lay next to you, Joel wrapped you up in his arms as the little spoon, peppering ticklish kisses over your back and shoulders, making you burst into laughter. 

“Joel, stop! That tickles!” You squealed, squirming in his grasp, trying to defend yourself from his unrelenting attack of soft, plush lips and scratchy beard dancing across your skin. 

“Don’t laugh so damn hard, or all my hard work’s ‘bout to come out!” Joel teased, giving you a playful nudge, pulling you in even closer. 

“Stop making me laugh, then! Plus, I think you came enough to put quadruplets inside of me, so I think we’ll be okay.” You snorted, Joel joining in on the laughter. 

“Baby, I don’t think I’ve ever came that hard in my whole goddamn life.” Joel sighed, shrugging as you rolled your head up to look at him and that stupid goofy grin he got whenever he couldn’t contain his excitement about something. “God, I love you.” 

“I love you too, Joel.” 

The two of you sat in a comfortable silence for a moment, Joel slowly bringing his arm to rest across your stomach, thumb slowly tracing careful circles on your skin. 

“You’re gonna make such a good mom. I’m the luckiest man alive that you wanna have a family with me. Still not really sure what I ever did to deserve it.” 

“Joel! You’re gonna make me cry! And this is before pregnancy hormones, ya jerk.” You tried to laugh, choking back the tears welling in your eyes. 

“Yeah, what a jerk, your husband tellin’ you how much he loves you.” He teased back, planting a long kiss on your temple, before pressing another one to your lips. Another wave of soft silence followed, watching Joel’s face scrunch in a calculated concentration. “How big of a crib you think I gotta make? I don’t know ‘bout a rockin’ chair, but a crib can’t be that hard. I gotta measure the guest room tomorrow.” 

“Honey, I don’t even know if I’m pregnant yet, you don’t need to have a crib built tomorrow.” You teased, laughing at Joel, despite the fact his mind was already thinking about a baby room and accessories had you melting. 

“Sweetheart, what did I say earlier? I ain’t lettin’ you outta this bed ‘till we know there’s a baby in there.” He smirked, nodding at his hand still splayed across your stomach, “So you better get comfortable, ‘cause if it’s up to me, there ain’t a chance in hell we’re gettin’ anything but a positive pregnancy test at the end of this month, and we'll sure need that crib nine months from now. Never hurts to get a head start."

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