#i'm going to have to write this aren't i?
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princesscolumbia · 1 day ago
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As someone who writes about aliens, I'm just going to say it's not a big spiritual deep-dive to write about them, either. Space aliens, illegal aliens, trans-universal/timeline aliens, cybernetic beings that are technically alien life...you name it, you can write about it with research and...
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(Goddess help me, I just used a Spongebob meme!)
There's a post that circulates about how Tom Clancy has never served in the military but writes remarkably accurate military fiction. When asked, he explains that it's pretty much just him thinking through, "What would happen if abc did xyz? How would we handle it through a military lens?"
Of course, this requires that you put enough in your head so you can think through these kinds of questions in a logical and reasonable way, so this, also, requires research. It won't always look like what you think it does.
I have a project that (minor spoilers for those reading my stuff) has a plot thread that concludes about 400-600 years from now where humans are basically hybrid beings, nearly equal parts nanite and organic tissue. Not cyborgs, the synthetic bits aren't something added in, they're born with them, having received both the genetic material AND the nanites from their parents. By the time they're born, the nanites from both parents have reconfigured to be unique to the child's nanites as an amalgam of the nanites from both parents. The nanites basically make the humans immune to any previously encountered disease, repair ALL damage, even just the damage caused by aging, and allow the human to learn to control the nanites to directly shape their own body. In this transhuman future, the human consciousness isn't even necessarily confined to that particular body because it lives just as much in the nanite swarm as it does in the blob of tissue that forms the organic parts of the body, so even the total obliteration of the physical form isn't necessarily lethal so long as they have a connection to a network and enough time to escape through that connection. (Surprise ground-zero nuclear explosion or teleportation to the center of a star would do it, but even said nuclear explosion could be escaped with a fast enough network connection.) Said network connection can be always on, and for most people it is, simply because it gives them access to all of the rest of humanity no matter how alone they may be IRL. Since the nanites are simply part of the person's entire framework of who they are, the build instructions for new nanites would be constantly updated in the person's...person-hood framework in their consciousness 'blob' on the network. If the person had to do this kind of jump, they'd simply find the appropriate machinery connected to the 'net to build their nanite swarm, which would then seek out the appropriate organic components to build them a new body and they just move into that.
While I was workshopping this as an end-point for this particular series, I stumbled onto a series on ScribbleHub that...sadly seems to have languished, because I'd love to see how the stories in the series end! But, the central premise is about humans making first contact with an alien intelligence that is based on mycelium. They're a complex multicellular life form that exists in a networked-by-default state. The individuals exist inside a collective consciousness as distinct individuals and have their own cluster of cells in the colony, but they have a somewhat loose relationship with the physical world because they can simply grow custom tailored bodies from the cellular colony and then inhabit said body, break it off, then go about their business. They can sever their connection completely or keep it going remotely, and everything we would do with tech and tools they do by just growing whatever tech and tools they need from their own collective cellular mass.
The two ideas smashed together in my head and I realized something...
Individuals exist untethered from a single corporeal form
They live connected to others as both a community thing and a survival thing
They can exist as nothing but a concept but prefer to be tethered to a physical form, regardless of how instantiated it is or how big or small the physical form is
They can build themselves bodies from the ground up so long as the resources and network connection exists
The smallest unit of survival for propagation is a single cell. Sure, that single cell may not be able to do much and may not be connected to the collective, but it can replicate, and from that replication, create enough more of itself to rebuild an entire civilization if necessary
The collective is just as important and invaluable as the individual and everyone in the community is incentivized to maintain their collective since that's where they keep all their stuff. (And by "stuff" I mean "all the memories and experiences and everything that makes me 'me' is at least backed up in part of the complete whole of all the everything else about my people and my community")
Their perspective shifts from time scales of years and decades to centuries and millennia
Life experiences and knowledge and even basic empathetic understanding can be transmitted to others easily because it's just data and data can be copied and sent easily
I realized that between what Murbellass and I wrote, there's a convergent evolution happening on the galactic scale.
It all comes back to crab mushrooms.
(While this creates an interesting setting, I didn't really have anything but the setting until @machoestofmen showed me some humanoid automata monsters from Dragon Quest XI that trap creatures in the cages that make up their lower halves and look like dresses and they suggested, "What if this but forcefemme?" and I'm all, "Sounds like a mechanical version of HDG...wait..." and now I've got ANOTHER damn plot bunny in my head where all of these ideas come together in a story that takes place about a thousand years from now...)
MY POINT is...I don't know any mushroom people. To the best of my knowledge, no mycelium are connected to the Internet for me to ask, "Hey, how does this work for you?" But I don't have to. By exposing my mind to new stories, new ideas, new things to research that I've never encountered before, I'm able to imagine how such things might happen, what occurs when xyz meets abc, and then extrapolate the 'What happens next?!' from there.
if you’re white and wanna write a poc character and feel awkward about it i implore you to ignore any twitblr stuff treating it as a massive ethical burden and instead come in more with the same mindset you’d have if you wanted to write about idk firefighters but didn’t know anything about firefighters so you do... research. Like fuck off with the weird kinda creepy calls for spiritual introspection you’re not writing about god damn space aliens you’re writing about humans and if you think you need more perspective of different life experiences just read?
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harunayuuka2060 · 2 days ago
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WHB Not A Descendant
MC: *not even related to Solomon, but somehow ended up in Hell (Gehenna) and surprisingly adapts well to the environment*
MC: *feels bored waiting for Satan to return*
Sitri: You are a human, aren't you?
MC: Yes... Do I look like an alien to you?
Sitri: How old are you?
MC: I just turned 20 last week.
Sitri: Oh, belated Happy Birthday.
MC: *cutely smiles* Thanks. You're the first one who greeted me.
Sitri: Excuse me?
MC: *goes back to being bored again* I miss my bed...
Sitri: You can sleep here.
MC: I was taught not to sleep in a strange place. Besides, I'm still thinking that this is an astral projection.
Sitri: *chuckles*
Sitri: I hate to be the one to say it, but this is the reality.
MC: Aww...
Sitri: *finding their personality adorable* Aren't you hungry yet? I'll prepare something for you.
MC: Can I have some brownies?
Sitri: Sure. Please wait a moment.
Satan: I still couldn't understand how you got here.
MC: Wow, so you were just all talk earlier.
Satan: ...
Satan: Sitri, why are you serving this kid?
Sitri: They fascinate me.
Satan: ...
Satan: By the way, what were you doing before you got here out of nowhere?
MC: I was writing my resume.
Satan: Resume?
MC: Yes, it's a piece of paper where I should write about my experience, and I have nothing to say about it, so it remains blank.
Satan: Are you serious?
MC: I was fresh out of college. What do you want me to do?
Sitri: *chuckles*
MC: I just need to walk through here and I'll be back to my place.
Satan: Yes, though not exactly, but should be close enough.
MC: Okay. *walks through the portal*
Satan: Well then, problem-solved-
MC: *comes back*
Satan: Why did you come back?
MC: There's nothing in there.
Satan: Are you kidding me?
MC: Then why don't you come with me and see yourself?
Satan: *sigh* Fine. Let's go.
MC and Satan: *both enter the portal*
MC and Satan: *return a few seconds later*
MC: See?
Satan: ...
Satan: Shit. You're stuck here.
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ptergwen · 2 days ago
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hiii
so this might me dirty but hear me out
It has gotten to me that mans come can meddle w the woman’s dna
so with this as an inspiration, and I know it’s kinda cliche but
stark!reader suddenly having spider senses or smh (not pregnancy)
oh and it’s for Tom Holland spider man
have an amazing dayy
a parker thing
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ask box  |  taglist  |  blurb masterlist  |  main masterlist
w/c: ?
warnings: smut (p in v unprotected, lowkey dom!peter and reader), swearing
a/n: jump scare if you didn't see my post lmao i'm back y'all! i missed u guys and missed writing lots so i’ll be here from time to time again :) i had so much fun with this req thank you for the idea! much love to u all <3
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you catch yourself dozing off and jerk your head up instinctively. one short, loud snore passes your lips as you do so, eyes opening wide. you blink your tired eyes a few times as you readjust to the harsh lighting.
ugh, you fell asleep in the lab, something you always chastise peter and your dad for doing. they're notorious for their long hours spent messing around with stark tech. you've lost count of how many times you've woken up to an empty spot in bed where your boyfriend should be, instead finding him fast asleep surrounded by cups of coffee and a delirious tony still on the grind.
tonight, you're the stark who's in the lab past their bedtime. you had the day to yourself and decided to use your free time to upgrade your suit. it had had a few hiccups during the team's last mission, so you wanted to work on it before the next one. what was supposed to be a few minor tweaks turned into a whole day of tweaking.
you scoff at yourself and wipe some drool that crusted onto your chin. oddly enough, you almost instantly refocus on the screen in front of you. it's been like this for most of the day. you're way more concentrated than usual for some reason, more aware. you figure it's because peter has been out on patrol and couldn't distract you.
"are you finished for the night, boss? you aren't usually here this late."
"i know, but i’m gonna stay a little longer. i’ll be done soon...i think."
friday dims the lights directly overhead so they aren't as harsh. you smile.
"thanks, fri."
you sit up in your seat, scooting in closer to the screen displaying your suit. you carefully look over the prototype and pick up a pen to write yourself some notes. when you go to put down the pen, it sticks to your palm. you shake your hand to try to get it off. it stays stuck.
"huh."
you use your other hand to pry the pen off of you.
"weird."
first you have heightened senses, now you're sticky. if you didn't have ordinary stark dna, you'd think you were part arachnid like peter.
you're not sure why, but you suddenly stand up and turn towards the main doors to the lab. they slide open a few seconds later. peter walks inside, spider suit on and mask off. he pads over to you with a soft smile.
"there you are. friday said i could find you down here."
peter pecks your lips and envelopes you in a hug. you sign contentedly, face nuzzled into his neck and arms winding around him.
"yeah, she's probably sick of me. i've been down here all day."
"you're really locked in, huh? how's the suit coming along?"
peter's fingers rub up and down your back ever so lightly. just the small touch practically sends shivers down your spine.
"good. fixed everything and double checked, then triple checked. started adding some new stuff, too."
"new features? like what?"
"you know the one i was telling you about..."
you trail off as peter's hands slide down to your ass. he pulls you in closer to himself, letting his hands rest there. you peek up at him, heart speeding up.
"go on, i’m listening."
peter gives your ass a gentle squeeze. it's an innocent gesture, really, but your senses are going crazy right now and you can't help but to get turned on. you always tease peter about how easily he's turned on. if this is what it feels like for him, now you understand.
"hm, i'm bored of talking about the suit. tell me about patrol."
"it was good! got a lot of action today. i mean, i guess that's not good 'cause that means there's more crime and stuff, but y'know. anyway..."
you stare at peter's lips, but don't listen to a word he's saying. it's the first time today you can't focus. he's pressed right up against you in his damned tight spider suit, and his hands are still on your ass, and you're so hypersensitive and hyper aware. all you can think about is how bad you need him.
"y/n? you okay?"
peter must have noticed you spacing out.
your gaze flicks between his eyes and lips before your own lips wordlessly capture his in a searing kiss. peter lets out a breathy chuckle, caught a bit off guard by your abruptness. he deepens the kiss for a moment, then pulls back with a look of amusement. you bite back a cheeky smile.
"horny."
peter's features form a smirk.
"i got you, baby."
he kisses you again. his tongue tangles with yours, a sigh passing your lips. peter lifts you up, grip becoming firmer on your ass. you wrap your legs around his waist. he kisses down your neck until he finds a spot he wants to mark. you tilt your head to the side so he has more access. peter's lips suck roughly on your skin, teeth nipping at it playfully. you let out a shaky breath.
peter presses one last kiss to what's sure to become a hickey to soothe it. you tilt his chin up towards you again, lips smashing into his, holding him in place by the back of his head. he carries you to the nearest table while your intertwined lips move desperately against each other's. you sneak a hand down to the bulge in his suit, earning a groan.
"one sec, lemme get this off."
peter sets you down on the table and quickly strips off his spider suit. you take your own clothes off and toss them aside, left only in your bra and panties. peter comes to stand between your legs. he slips your panties to the side, middle finger collecting your wetness as he kisses you again. his finger slides into you with ease and begins to pump. you moan into the kiss, tugging at his hair.
"already so wet, baby. don't even have to get you warmed up."
peter's finger curls inside you, cockiness evident in his tone and on his features. you tug on some hair at the nape of his neck.
"stop teasing, parker."
"can't take it when the roles are reversed, stark?"
something takes over you in that moment, the same something that's been coursing through your veins all day. you grab both of peter's hands and hold them in place above his head. your grip is tight around his wrists, too tight for him to break free of it. a noise almost like a growl escapes you.
"shut up and fuck me, or i’ll fuck you."
peter meets your wild eyes, his pupils equally as dilated.
"do it."
you promptly pull peter up to the table with you. you push him back so he lies down, pinning his arms down at his sides. his chest rises and falls, breathless.
"woah, what's gotten into you today? not that i’m complaining, but, woah."
"i know, right? i thought you were supposed to have super strength."
peter grabs you by your hips and sits up, seating you in his lap. you wiggle your hips in his grasp, but he digs his fingers into your sides so you can't move. peter's voice drops low.
"what was that?"
you breathe out a low laugh.
"nothing."
you dip your head down to press your forehead to peter's. he smiles, satisfied with your answer. you wrap your hand around his hard cock and stroke him. peter's lips ghost over yours, his breathing heavy.
"wanna feel you, y/n/n."
peter slides his hands up to your waist so you can move again. you smile knowingly. you slip off your panties before you reposition yourself, your legs on either side of him. you line up peter's cock with your entrance.
"wanna feel you too, pete."
you lower yourself down onto peter. you both let out little sighs and moans as he fills you up.
he always feels so good inside you, but this time is even better, even more intense.
you arch your back to find the right angle, shifting backwards a bit. once you're both comfortable, you begin to roll your hips. peter exhales a breath he was holding, lifting his hips up to help you out. your movements are slow, fluid. peter supports you by the small of your back, eyes hooded and lips parted for air.
"fuck, i'm not gonna last long."
"me neither."
he kisses you, softly but with so much passion. you let your eyes flutter closed and kiss back. you place your feet flat on the table for more stability and straighten your back, starting to bounce on his cock.
"y/n..."
peter's voice comes out almost like a whine. you chuckle at that.
"i know."
you grab onto peter's shoulders for more support as you move, up and down, back and forth. peter leaves sloppy kisses along the side of your neck. the once quiet lab is now filled with both of your moans and the sounds of your wetness every time his cock thrusts into you. you're both so close, and you can hardly hold out any longer.
peter grabs your hips to stop your movements. he takes over, thrusting up into you at the same delicious pace, only he's the one in control. you let out a series of short, high pitched moans, head thrown back as peter's cock hits the right spot in you over and over again.
"that's it, y/n/n. sound so pretty, baby."
peter half speaks and half groans. you reply with your own noise of content, squeezing yourself around his cock as you reach your high. peter is close to his.
"god, fuck."
he's panting. his thrusts speed up a bit until his hips stop moving altogether. he pushes deeper into you with one final moan, his cum filling you up, making you feel warm inside. you both recently agreed he could finish in you; it's a new level of intimacy.
"fuck, baby. woah."
you bury your face in peter's neck in response. you try to catch your breath, falling forward into his arms.
"oh my god, pete. that was..."
"yeah."
peter hugs your waist. he slowly pulls out of you, making you wince at the new emptiness.
"sorry."
he peppers tender kisses to the side of your head. you remove your face from his neck.
"it's okay."
you ruffle peter's hair with a tired smile. he kisses your cheek, smiling back. you give him another peck on his lips. you yawn, today's and tonight's activities catching up with you once again.
"aw, you tired?"
"mhm. you must be, too, spidey."
"exhausted. let's get cleaned up, then we'll go to bed?"
"sounds perfect."
peter helps you down from the table. you quickly step into your panties in case any cum leaks out of you. he picks his suit up off the floor.
"okay, that was insanely good. i mean, it always is, but something was different. i wonder what it was."
peter shimmies into his suit so his lower half is covered. you're putting on the rest of your clothes.
"i don't know, i’ve just been super on my shit today. really focused and stuff."
"explains why you were so locked in on your suit."
"that might just be a stark thing. actually, it's a parker thing too."
you poke peter's chest playfully. you collect some of your things from your work area, some miscellaneous supplies sticking to your palms as you do.
"why does this keep happening?"
peter watches curiously as you huff and shake paper clips off your palms.
"funny, that reminds me of when i first got my powers. took me a while to figure out how to control it, being sticky."
"uh huh. did you spill web fluid last time you were down here or something?"
"i don't think so, but it would have dissolved by now if i did. i haven't been in the lab for a couple days."
"oh. maybe it was someone else."
peter quirks a brow.
"i don't see any web fluid over there, y/n/n."
you turn to face peter.
"so why am i sticky?"
between this, your strength, and your heightened senses, peter puts it together. you have powers.
his spider powers.
"that might also be a parker thing. more specifically, a spider-man thing."
"you don't mean... no."
if peter is saying what you think he's saying, that confirms what you had thought earlier.
"uh, yeah."
peter crosses over to you. your eyebrows knit together.
"we must share some dna."
"but how? that wouldn't be possible unless we were, like, related... ew! please don't tell me we're fucking related!"
"baby, baby." peter laughs softly, taking one of your hands in his. "stop freaking out."
"you should be freaking out too! you were just inside me, peter, fucking me raw! you came in me!"
"exactly."
peter's voice is way too calm for your liking.
"exactly? what do you mean 'exactly'?"
"think about it. sperm is made up of dna."
"so what?"
"well, i wasn't born with this dna. it got mutated by the spider bite. so no, we're definitely not related."
you tentatively soften your gaze, allowing peter to lace his fingers through yours.
"since i got my powers from the mutation, i guess you got them too when i started finishing in you."
you gasp, a playful smile pulling at your lips.
"you mean you mutated my dna? you have radioactive cum?"
"something like that. you're not mad?"
you toy with peter's fingers, looping an arm around his neck.
"nah, it's kind of cool now that i know what it is. you're gonna have to teach me how to use the powers, though."
"of course." peter returns your smile. "now that you've got new powers, you gotta rebrand. maybe you could call yourself spider-woman."
"you'd like that, wouldn't you? come up with something more original."
peter's arms wrap around your middle, smile growing into a toothy grin.
"you could also use mrs. parker. it's gonna be your name someday, anyways."
you put your other arm around peter's neck with a laugh.
"mrs. parker, i like that."
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(too lazy to use tags lmao)
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woozinhos · 2 days ago
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Okay I’m so sorry I know I js asked you to write something but I’m about to go to bed and I don’t want to forget n you can write it whenever or ignore if you aren’t feeling it but yunho totally losing and going extremely rough and reader likes it ;)
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Rough baby
Yunho's usual tenderness has been replaced with a primal need as he claims you. He's not holding back anymore, and his every movement is rough and dominant.
"You're mine," he snarls, his hips snapping against yours with each thrust. "No one else gets to have you like this."
You're moaning and gasping beneath him, completely lost in the intensity of his touch. His grip on your wrists is almost bruising, and the pain only serves to heighten your pleasure.
"Say it," he demands, his voice rough with desire. "Say you're mine."
"I'm yours," you gasp out, your body arching up against his. "Only yours."
Yunho growls in satisfaction, his thrusts growing even more frenzied. "Good girl," he says, his eyes dark with lust. "I'm going to make you come so hard, you'll never forget who owns you." Yunho quickly flips you over, pinning you down on all fours. He grips your hips tightly, his fingers digging into your skin as he positions himself behind you.
"This is where you belong," he says, his voice low and possessive. "On your hands and knees, ready for me to take you whenever I want."
You feel him enter you from behind, his cock stretching you open in the most delicious way. He's even rougher in this position, his hips slamming against yours with a feral intensity.
"You feel so good," he groans, his hands roaming over your body. "So tight and wet for me."
You're completely at his mercy, your body pliant and willing as he takes you from behind. Every thrust sends a jolt of pleasure through your body, and you can feel yourself getting closer to the edge.
"I can feel you tightening around me," he growls, his fingers digging into your hips. "You're going to come for me, aren't you?"
Yunho grabs your ass with both hands, his fingers digging into the soft flesh as he continues to pound into you. He pulls your hips back against him, forcing you to take him even deeper.
"Mine," he says again, his voice a low, possessive growl. "All mine."
You're so close now, the pleasure building to an almost unbearable level. You can feel Yunho getting close too, his thrusts becoming erratic and rougher than ever.
"Come for me," he commands, his fingers digging into your hips hard enough to leave bruises. "I want to feel you come around my cock."
Your orgasm hits you like a tidal wave, washing over you in a blinding wave of pleasure. You cry out his name, your body trembling as you come undone beneath him. Yunho follows soon after, his hips stuttering as he spills himself deep inside you. He collapses on top of you, his body slick with sweat and satisfaction. As Yunho pulls out of you, he gives your pussy a light, playful slap. It's not hard enough to hurt, but it's enough to send a jolt of electricity through your body.
"You're such a good girl," he says, his smirk widening. "Taking everything I give you without complaint."
You whimper softly at the touch, your body still sensitive from your orgasm. Yunho chuckles, clearly enjoying the effect he has on you.
"You're so responsive," he says, his hand rubbing soothing circles over your skin. "I could keep you like this all night."
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grimrevolution · 1 day ago
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i thought long an hard about responding to this because i'm from a very different background than most people in this fandom and to mary kirby, the writer of lucanis.
a preface; i am aro/ace. aromantic and asexual. i don't experience sexual or romantic attraction to anyone. i also have a partner of three years who is demiromantic and demisexual. yes, you read that right.
the common misconception that happens is that people consider the asexual spectrum to be on the same line of chastity, virginity, or naivete.
people who are under the asexual spectrum aren't immune to being horny. it's a hormonal and emotional response. we're not motivated by sex and it's generally not caused by other people, but that doesn't mean that asexuals don't actively enjoy it. there are people who are sex repulsed but still participate in getting their partner off by using words but not actual touch (hi, that's me). there are others who would probably throw up being in the same room as people who are actively having sex (doubly so with strangers. hi, also me), and others that go out looking for sex but not for long term sexual partners because, hey, sex feels nice and it's even better when there's no strings attached.
i know asexuals who participate in bdsm, who have files on their computer full of the horniest smut you've ever read, who tell sex jokes like they're going out of style. i know ones who are virgins and probably will always be and i know others who masturbate regularly because damn, if they don't find other people attractive at least there's this rechargeable vibrator they can use.
asexual people will contradict each other with how they feel about the act of sex but the one thing we all have in common is that, at the end of the day, sex doesn't sell to us. that doesn't mean that asexuals aren't kinky, that we don't write about sex, nor that we don't do participate in the act. it's just that we aren't motivated by sex and writing us like we are confused little virgins is incredibly infantilizing if you don't take great care in how it's done.
and when it comes to demisexuality, they need that emotional connection. once that's done, they could experience attraction to their partner the same that anyone else not under the asexuality spectrum do. some of them become the horniest person you've ever dated and some of them don't! but the fact is that it is still not about the motivation of sex; it's still that bridge of establishing an emotional connection.
Are y’all telling me you looked at Lucanis and expect him to have the understanding of himself that he’s demisexual?
The man doesn’t even realize he can buy his own wyvern tooth dagger with his own money. He’s not doing that kind of reflection.
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bluewolfangel01 · 3 days ago
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How will the brothers react when they found out that MC's not in the HoL and haven't returned for 2 hours but she's actually hiding under lucifer's bed.
0o0
Oh I'm so excited to write this 😈
-Where is Mc?!-
Mammon: *goes into Mc's room*
Mammon: "Hey Mc! You just gotta look at thi-"
Mammon: "huh?"
Mammon: *can't see Mc anywhere in the room so goes to look elsewhere*
Mammon: *enters the common room and only finds Satan, Asmo, and Belphie*
Mammon: "Oi, any of yall know where Mc is? Can't find 'em and they aren't in their room."
Asmo: "Sorry, I haven't seen them."
Satan: "I haven't seen them either."
Belphie: *groans while he naps on one of the couches, signaling that he hasnt seen Mc*
Mammon: *goes to the kitchen to ask Beel*
Beel: "No, I haven't seen them."
Mammon: *goes to Levi's room to ask Levi*
Levi: "No, I've been to busy grinding and getting my dailies!"
Mammon: *goes to the study to ask Lucifer*
Lucifer: "No Mammon, I haven't seen them."
Mammon: *starts to worry but waits until he's searched the whole house to fully panic*
...
*Yeah... he's searched the whole house can't find them and is in full panic mode now*
*In the 7 bros group chat*
Mammon: Mc isn't in the house, and I've checked everywhere! Anyone know where they're at?!
*The rest of the brothers did not know where Mc was and also preceded to go into full panic mode*
*They all immediately started to recheck the house and started calling others in case they were at the Demon Lord's castle or Purgatory hall, they even expanded their search throughout the Devildom*
*After a few hours of extensive searching, the brothers returned to the HoL in defeat, still worried and concerned about where their human could be*
*Lucifer went to his room and sat on his bed, very much all up in his own mind trying to figure out what to do or anywhere else Mc could be*
? : "I can hear your thinking from here."
*A small door opens on the side of Lucifer's bed, by Lucifer's feet, and out crawls an Mc that looks back at him with concern*
Mc: "What's wrong?"
Lucifer: "..."
Lucifer: "How long have you been down there?"
Mc: "Uh, I'm not sure. What time is it?"
Lucifer: "Around midnight..."
Mc: "Oh dang, well then I've been down there for a few hours. I was trying to have some alone time and I thought this would be a good place to-"
*Mc stops themselves while noticing Lucifer look both worried and relieved*
Mc: "Did something happen?"
*Lucifer remains silent and puts his hand out for Mc to take. When they do, he immediately pulls them in for a hug and holds them tight. He then explains what happened and how he and his brothers were just out searching for them because they couldn't find them*
Mc: "... I'm sorry. I didn't realize that I didn't tell any of you where I was."
Lucifer: "It's fine, as long as you're alright. Just try to do better about that next time you decide to hide underneath my bed again. Speaking of which."
Mc: *starts moving towards the door* "WELP, probably should go tell the others I'm okay!"
Lucifer: "Mc."
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ironicsoap · 3 days ago
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What I've learned from making 2 fursuits!
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I've learned a TON from the process of both of these suits, making my 2nd suit I improved on a lot of stuff I had learned from the first! Here's stuff I would've liked to know before I started either of these
For reference, the white cat suit's name is Sophie and she was made first. The blue one is Raine, and she was made second! I'll be referring to them throughout this.
I've learned nearly everything I know about sewing and these types of craft projects from making these 2 suits, I haven't had any prior experience. This is all very much advice From a beginner TO beginners, experienced makers may say some of this is wrong, this is just my lived experience written down. I figured I'd write all this now while it's fresh in my mind! When you get experienced at doing stuff, you tend to forget what problems you faced as a beginner.
Fur Bulk
Fur bulk is REAL and a MASSIVE PROBLEM when making your sculpt. Regardless of what method you use to make your base, 3D printed or foam. Depending on how short you can shave your fur, fur bulk will add about 1cm - 0.5cm of thickness to your base
Look how much her mouth closed up from the base sculpt! I ended up still loving the end result, but it was a bit unexpected. (Despite learning about fur bulk from my first suit, and ALSO testing fur bulk in Blender with a fur particle system when I was making the sculpt for this head.)
Raine's ear is an unfortunate victim of fur bulk still, but I didn't have time to remake it how I wanted it. I even tried to make it slimmer on purpose since Sophie's ear ended up so stupidly thick 😭
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Seam Allowance & Stitches
(Talking PURELY about hand sewing, I've never used a sewing machine, I cannot give any advice for that)
You should be using a blanket or whip stitch for most of your fursuit, in terms of speed and seams, they are the most effective! Whip stitch for most of your face, it's going to be glued down.. so truly you just need the fabric together and not SECURE since it'll be glued. Use the blanket stitch for things like paws or stuff that's more likely to pop a seam (ears? tails? etc)
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More experienced suit makers might say use blanket for everything, that may be more correct 🤷‍♀️ Whip/Blanket are nearly the same stitch, blanket is just more secure than a whip stitch, takes a little longer, and uses slightly more thread. I haven't timed other stitches, but the blanket takes me about 5 minutes per inch to do.
On Sophie, I had made up my own bizarre version of a backstitch that was stupidly strong.. but also took a million years to do. It also made my paws near IMPOSSIBLE to turn inside out. Sewing raines face together with a whip stitch was way quicker!
For your face pattern, use next to no seam allowance for the cleanest look. The areas that I added seam allowance on Raine, I really regretted the bulged out look they had. If you aren't confident in your pattern making ability, some seam allowance does give you some wiggle room in terms of how easily your pattern fits onto your base
Designing your suit for airflow
This wasn't actually a problem for me, I did this from the start. But I've worn suits that weren't designed for proper ventilation, and it really just makes suiting a very unpleasant experience. You want to have a mouth hole that is right in front of your own mouth, so you can easily get fresh air in your suit. I'm not saying you HAVE to do this, as not all designs can accommodate this, but it's absolutely something to think about for your comfort!
Another thing I've learned, is the roomier your suit is around the mouth hole, the more overall airflow you get! I tried on my friends head which I sculpted, and they printed in TPU, significantly roomier than Raine, and much more breathable! Raine is still comfortable for me to wear even masked underneath, since I made her ventilation so good!
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My future suits I make, I'm going to be looking into TPU due to the sheer weight and breathability difference from my PLA suit!
Non-Fur Supplies
I highly recommend getting hand sewing needles and EVA foam at Daiso if you have one! Daiso has lots of little sewing kits, and I got both of my main needles there. The little circle disks of needles you can find at other stores didn't have needles that were the right size and shape for my hands to comfortably use. Daiso also sells EVA foam in the smaller amounts that you'd need for a suit, unlike hardware stores which usually sell giant square packs of 5
For handsewing, I noticed going for the slightly thicker thread lead to stronger seams overall.
For what you should have in a sewing kit for fursuit, here's what I have (ranked by importance)
Multiple handsewing needles you're comfortable with, just in case you lose one
Pins
Wonder clips (the little plastic rainbow clips) ABSOLUTELY necessary for suit making honestly, they work better than pins in most situations
Seam ripper
Soft measuring tape
Some generic white and/or black thread, as well as your fursuits thread
Safety pins
Overall helpful fursuit supplies
Velcro patches
Masking tape
Duck/Duct Tape
Have garbage shitty scissors, and separate scissors JUST for fabric. Your fabric scissors will remain sharp for much longer if you don't use them on other stuff. (3rd pair of scissors that's not used on tape/sticky stuff, but thread and paper also is helpful. The garbage scissors can get gunky when cutting tape, and your medium scissors remain sharp enough to easily cut other stuff)
Xacto knife + LOTS of new blades. The blades go dull FAST when cutting fur and foam. If you're having to use a lot of pressure to cut through your fur's backing, that means you need a new blade
Box cutter + LOTS of new blades for box cutter. I have a Kobalt box cutter, it's nearly as sharp as my xactos. I use it for cutting out big sections of fur and foam.
I get my eye mesh from Curlworks! I love the visibility on it ^_^
Fur Brands
In terms of my fur company quality rankings, it would be this (I've tried fur from a million different companies on my sample hunt for Raine)
1. Howl Fabrics 2. BigZFabrics 3. MofuMofu.shop
Howl overall is the most dense, relatively soft, and best to shave out of all 3. (Canfur is of very similar quality to Howl, except it has a mild crayon or carpet smell. The smell wears off completely after around 6-7 months, at least on the small sample I got)
BigZ is kind of like a middle ground, but shaves HIGHLY powdery compared to the other 2. As well as shaves a little worse/choppy compared to better quality fur.
MofuMofu is the least dense out of the 3, but I would consider the softest. Best if they have a niche color you need. The fur tends to clump together when it is shaved like sheep wool, and is less powdery than BigZ.
Random furs from etsy are usually LQ/MQ and patchy on their density, not great for shaving super short
Fur Shaving / Length
If you're going for a high quality look on your suit, you want SHORT fur for the face, full-stop. Every suit I've seen that's truly made me go WOW has always had VERY short face fur. Shorter fur shows the look of your sculpt better, instead of hiding it all behind any lumpy fur bulk or unbrushed sections. (Brushing fur doesn't last very long after a suit's been put on haha)
If you can buy your fur in shorter lengths like teddy/beaver, ABSOLUTELY do so. It'll make your shaves much shorter and cleaner. The longer your fur is, is the harder it is to get it to a "HQ" shave length. I personally couldn't get Raine as short as I wanted her to be 😩 But her colors are niche, so I couldn't locate them in shorter fur lengths
Once your suit is complete, don't be afraid to go in there with scissors and your clippers to clean up the fur+markings as well! Raine's mouth opened up a LOT more when i trimmed it down to shape with my scissors
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Pattern Making
Avoid putting any seams down the middle of your face, it is noticeable! This is roughly how my pattern for Raine worked, I think the eyebrows helped disguise that horizontal middle seam really well! (the fur from the "eyebrow" piece covers the seam to the forehead piece as it is brushed over it!) I also made the nose bridge it's own piece, to utilize the visible seam to create a crease for it.
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I also recommend avoid making any + shaped intersections on your seams if you can avoid it, it's really hard to sew cleanly😭 Sometimes they're unavoidable, but I try my best to avoid doing them.
Wearability
I'm not sure how much this applies to foam suits, but I really recommend using some elastic, a parachute clip, and some velcro to make an adjustable strap to keep your suit on your head! I tried to use foam on Sophie to get a snug fit, it did not work and made her struggle to stay on. The elastic strap on Raine is way better and more secure.
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Misc / Random
When making your ears, you don't necessarily need to sew the minky/inner ear onto the fur parts! You can get a much flatter look on your minky if you just glue it on seperate, and have the fur not connected to it
(Specifically for beginner suit makers making personal projects) Not everything has to be perfect! No one will notice your little imperfections, and you don't have to make a nice product for a client. You can leave some things unsewn, you can have tiny bits of foam show from weird angles. You can hot glue some things instead of sewing them to save time. You can have small accidental bald spots. You can have little unsewn holes in corners if it's too hard to sew around those parts. Take it easy on yourself!
You may spring for fleece to save some money on buying minky, I honestly recommend not doing this. Minky feels significantly nicer, and minky from Howl is really not that much more than some fleece, for small pieces like inner mouths, noses, ears, etc, all you need is a "Fat Quarter" sized piece. It's more than enough! And only $6.50 (if you want fleece specifically, ignore this haha. I just regret going for fleece instead of minky on Sophie!)
Carving a foam base, to me, is the hardest part of suit making. So much so, that I never plan to do it again :P It's some people's thing, definitely not mine. If you've been frustrated with how your foam results turn out, consider 3D printing! Or buying a base from someone.
When looking for fursuit advice and tutorials, beyond the obvious places to look (matrices, youtube, google), I genuinely recommend Tiktok! A lot gets posted there for small niche problems you may have
Use this method for tying a knot on your thread when hand sewing, it's extremely fast https://youtu.be/LWWhRtxl6eE?si=AEt2HDiwp09AigOS
When making a 3D printed base, do not go too thin. I'd do test prints to see what thickness feels right to you, raine was about 0.5-0.7 cm but I wish she was a bit thicker because I worry a lot about her shattering 😨
Removeable eyes are very useful, if i get hair in my face I'm able to pop out Raine's eyes to move it out of my way x)
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summertimesadnessirl · 2 days ago
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It doesn't matter.
If you have done everything you can to try to get the life you want and nothing works, it doesn't matter why you got that way. All that matters is don't keep trying to get love and letting people use your desire for it against you.
I'm pretty sure it's not actually real. And it's just something they made up to sell soap.
So that's the model I work with.
As long as I refuse to allow myself to believe anyone loves me, everything works out well. When I break that, people hurt me.
People will guilt you into saying it's because you don't pick the right people but no matter what criteria you use it's always the same. And no matter what treatments you apply to yourself, it's always the same. And no matter how many new styles of communication you learn to talk to other people, it's always the same.
For me the only thing that kind of worked was doing sex work and being super fake and having several hundred shallow fake relationships that had a lot of sex and weren't boring and miserable, because whenever I've tried to not date and just hang out and do other things like working or something either people bother me all the time and are really mean and annoying or they are always "conveniently" introducing me to people they want to fix me up with. Men and women and like? Those people are always basically on the same emotional level as the people I have already dated and seem really shy and kind of uninterested in me. When I talk them out of their shell, they seem still shy, like they basically admire me for not seeming shy to them and like how I dress but don't have anything in common with me and we wouldn't have anything to talk about, or they have kind of a mental picture of a type of super assertive girl who will be into their lack of experience and want to like... put spices on them and let them sit on the counter top for a full moon cycle and then write out a recipe for them that they can use to attract someone who will love them now that they aren't virgins or something, and they don't want to admit that to me up front, which is very mean to do, to want someone to like... be your character development without asking and then not let them prepare to be left with nothing from that interaction in exchange for being a cute story you talk about with your future spouse or whatever.
Most people don't seem to want a relationship with a particular person or a particular type of relationship or even like have considered their own potential deal breakers. Not "I didn't realize this thing I thought everyone did wasn't a thing everyone did" or "i was wrong about my needs in certain areas" or whatever. They genuinely have no idea like what they do for fun that is a group activity, and they make you spend like an hour trying to figure out what they want every time they want something and most of the time when you give it to them they're unhappy.
It's like people want me to be in a relationship just so I'll be in a relationship and other people want to be in a relationship with me just to be in a relationship and even people with lots of money who can leave and who spend all their time complaining about their relationship don't want to leave their relationship. And when I'm like "I don't want to be in a relationship right now because I'm broke or whatever and I wouldn't be able to leave a relationship easily." People are like *shocked pika* why wouldn't you go enter into a relationship with someone who wants to date you based on you having a normal level of kind conversation that you would have with a person on the street and being able to give them sex? Why would you not want to break up with the person you are dating and date a random old man who did your boss a favor once because he gave you a ride in his truck? Why would you not just let other people make major life decisions for you? Why are you not jumping at every chance we give you when it doesn't look or feel right?
It feels like the goal of the whole thing is having someone else to blame for your problems. I don't wanna do that to someone. I hate when stuff isn't my fault and I have to suffer for it anyway. That's why I cut my own hair and pierce my own ears and stuff. So if it gets messed up, it's just an accident and it's because I have never done that before and I just need to figure out how to fix it and I can take all the time I need instead of trying to like... figure out the magic buttons to push to get someone who broke something to be willing to admit they messed up and will try to fix it and like... having to wonder if I can trust them if they're a specially trained and certified expert and they aren't better at doing something than a person who went on the internet and read a tutorial and kind of guessed.
Idk. It's like if you told me most people in the world don't like sex or dating or anything and they aren't in love either and there's like some kind of mystic force that attacks people who don't live with a partner by such and such a time and have a kid by such and such a time and no one told me? I'd totally be like
"That explains everything."
Was I raised without love or was I born unlovable?
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cinnablu3 · 2 days ago
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RECKLESS - ALL I WANTED WAS YOU
Masterlist
Ch 18, i lied about 20 chapters we might have 21.
After Utahime leaves, you find yourself alone, your heart racing. The time for Choso's arrival is drawing near. "I have to be honest with him, no matter the consequences," you remind yourself. Just then, there's a knock on the door.
Immediately opened the door and pulled Choso inside. "Easy, I know I said I couldn’t be spotted, but you were quick with it, doll," he teased.
"Cho." He immediately embraces you, wrapping his arms around your waist and squeezing you. He presses his lips against your forehead.
"Glad to know you miss me."
"I'm sorry about--" "Don't even finish that sentence. It wasn't your fault." He said, hiding his face inside your neck. "Give me a minute, I miss you, Doll."
It was a peaceful silence as he pulled away slowly. "I'm sorry. I wasn't even in jail for that long, but even then." He laughed. "I did miss you."
You couldn't hold back your smile, feeling the ache in your heart, knowing he wouldn't have the same feelings for what you were going to tell him.
"Choso take a seat please I need to get something off my ch--" "That you agreed to the kiss?" He interrupts, you can feel your heart drop. "He told me." He gives you a bitter smile.
"I'm not angry, I shouldn't be upset since we aren't even together," he says as he takes a seat on your couch. "Though, you wouldn't believe how frustrated I was when we had to share a cop car and a cell." He crosses his arms.
"He complains a lot, it really did makes me wonder what you saw in him."
You couldn't help but chuckle at his statement.
"I'm serious, I can't find anything attractive that could have caught your attention."
"That's a little harsh even for you."
"I told him, got in a fight in the cell." He grins, "I was supposed to get out much earlier but someone got offended and took another beating."
"I'm trying my best to be serious with you, I can't with you telling me all this information." You sighs holding back a smile.
He pushes back a strand of hair behind your ear. "Just know I forgive you, even though I was hurt about it, I just want to know." He turns serious. "Did you feel sparks?"
"I didn't, that's when I realized he wasn't someone I wanted my name to be attached to."
"Good, because being attached to mine is way better. Sounds better as well."
"I want to be with you, Choso. I do," You paused. "I want to talk to Satoru, can I? Just to clear everything and end things completely."
"That's a terrible idea, Name. He doesn't need an explanation. You don't have to acknowledge him anymore."
"Choso.."
"I'm serious. Write a letter if you have to.. that sounds terrible I'm sorry.." He puts his hands on his face embarrassed of his words. "I just don't want to feel like my feelings are being played with."
"You're valid for how you feel, I'll write a letter and that's it no more." Giving him a serious look.
"Promise?"
"Promise Cho."
"That's a promise. Just don't give me false hope that's all I ask." He intertwines his pinkies with yours.
"Since you kissed him, it's only fair that I finally do." He leans in and gently cuffs your face before pressing his lips against yours.
You couldn't hold back a smile.
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"Glad to know you're out of jail, in good piece" Shoko teases pointing at Satoru eye as he sticks his tongue out.
"Don't remind me. That emo said I whine too much."
"He's not wrong."
"Shoko, don't you think it's rude to bully a friend?" Suguru speaks up.
"Thank you Sugu-"
"Especially when he has two ugly blackeyes by his nemesis." He smirks.
"My manager is going to kill me." He throws himself on the couch pouting. "Maybe don't respond so quickly especially when you can't fight Satoru," Shoko replied.
"I can fight, I was just drunk." He groans, "Speaking of drunk does Name know you're here?" Shoko looks off to the side and is silent.
"Utahime and her are currently not speaking to her after the whole party." Suguru chimed in putting a hand on her shoulder.
"That sounds like Utahime doing, not Name. She is not someone that often cuts people off."
"Look, can we not talk about this guys? I cannot have another reason why I need a cigarette again." She rubs her head.
"Why don't you storm for Utahime and ask to take you back?" Satoru looks up at her while she raises a brow.
"What?"
"For once, I'm desperate. I want my friends back, tell me. You guys can't be my only friends."
"So.. I was thinking.."
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Taglist is now closed and full 💞 @miiiturix @superdonkeypatroleggs @inthedarkshadows000 @kumori-suwan @chilichopsticks @prized-jules 1ndee @lov3vivian @yuuuumii @chiiinglebells @sakurayashiro @ghostlyfanenemy @cisseadven @totallygyomeiswife bemebiu @chckn-pi @for-hearthand-home @sh0ot1ngst4r @muthic @lukaerith-morningstar meowforluv @uniquenicefangirl @4rmins @corvid007 @beautifulwitchcandy @iluv-ace @tartartagliaboo @genxnarumi lafrone @coffee-addicted-demigod @cupidsblonde depressedemosantaclaus @drownedbytears @s777athv @linaaeatsfamilies @lun4rchive @moonlitwitchdaisy @kooksbunnnn @shoma-nom @reagan707 @kaged-kitty b0nez9 btsinthesoop @shokosbunny @sleepykittyenergy @sad-darksoul @ghostswhoretbh @raquel12 @missthatgirl @explosivelywuisa @bunviixo @rifran @therealanxiety @harryzcherry
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scara-writes · 2 days ago
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100% perfect
GN!Esper!Reader x Y!Guide!Male OC
Note: hello im back. A lot happened, I had an anxiety attacks, my mind has been having a lot of bad thoughts, my dog passed away last year—three months ago... I didn't have a lot of time for me to write since I've been grieving for my dog's death up until now but I'm okay, I'm healing... Anyway, my writings is rusty and probably didn't improve. I know some of you guys really tried to reach out through ask and I'm kind of happy. Thanks. For now I'll give this to piece of one shot for a new year. This Esper x Guide thing I made might not be accurate. All i know is they are similar to Alpha x Omega shits except the curse thing on espers. This might be cringe. i will try to edit it. I will try to update the other oc's as well.
-also please do not do this, i do not condone anything in this story. This is purely fiction and be kept as a fiction.
CW: implied se(g)s, implied suicide(mention), yandere, drugging, manipulation, dynamic power, etc.
MINORS DO NOT INTERACT
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"(Y/n)!!" A ginger haired male rush up to you, hugging you by the time you step on the greenery field of the university. Pastel blue of sweater was the first thing you see before you were envelope by a hug. You tense when his arms coils around your waist, hearing him breathe out of relief as he buries his face on your left shoulder. 
You don't know what to do everytime he does this. There were eyes everywhere and it doesn't seem like he is bothered by it.
Of course why would he?
Micah Clarke is not only popular and prettiest student in this campus. He is known for being famous as the youngest champion of ice skating 3 years ago, defending his title until now. His luscious natural lips, his hazel eyes that could make you halt on what you were doing, the type to make yourself give him a third glance because he is so pretty. So pretty that you sometimes envy his glassy skin, igniting a insecurities to yourself. His soft curly ginger hair and freckled face that matches his glossy alabaster complexion. The type of guy who prefers cute, pastel than those typical guys—omg so unique(lol)—that always choose to wear dark or dull colors. Everyone finds him attractive including yourself. Everything about him screams beauty and elegance. He can hook up with men and women if he wants to but he chose not to.
From what you heard, he is a rare S-rank Guide. Most espers would try hook up with him atleast make a contract with someone like him. He would rather spend his time painting his nails, crochetting, organising or planning his time, practicing his amazing skills on ice skating, or rather do hundred routine for his skincare than hook up with other people. Quirky, Alright. Still, this doesn't stop people from wanting to go between his pants and his fame.
To people he is a swan. He is epitome of perfection.
You always see him pass by to your department, always getting called by the principal,inviting him to do a photoshoot, using his face as an advertisment for upcoming enrollent or any event inside the university. You never dwell yourself to swoon on to him whenever he pass by. Fine, you do like him. But not the kind of like where you are romantically interest to him. You just admire his looks, his talents and that's about it. You just don't like he was too friendly, there's nothing wrong with that but invading someone else personal bubble space—and the feeling of shame on yourself for being near someone kind as him—as if you two are already close is not your thing to a person you rarely talk to. Unlike him, you are the quite the opposite when it comes to socialising,You like being alone, you aren't anti-social, atleast, that's what you think you are. You are confident by yourself. An Introvert.
You just like the silence. It eases your deteriorating mind—(stupid esper curse) Somewhere peace and quiet,reading books, listening to music—gosh laufey and wave to earth and even (favorite singer/composer) always sound so good, spending time with your pets, to drown out insanity voices piling up in your head. Although you just have a few friends, you love to be alone. You once dream about getting a job. To work hard and earn a good money, once you have enough money. You would spend it to buy a house and lot somewhere away from the city and nearby the countryside with a small farm. Letting your family and friends to visit you time to time in occassions. Where you can spend the rest of your life alone and happy. A dream that would be come true if only you didn't awakened as an esper after you reach 18.
As for the guy who has the entire school and other people folded for him. He is choosing you to lend his attention, to a person who doesn't like attention. So why was he talking to someone who is a nobody like a B-rank Esper like you? The only interaction you had with him before he let himself in your life was when you pull him away from the bridge—you didn't know him at that time—a few exchange greeting—which of course he would be the first one to initiate it—and.... The party....
"N-ngh!!!" A whiny moan escape his lips. Your lips were on his neck drinking each of his soft sound coming from his mouth. The blaring party background can be ignore in the background thanks to the closed lock door of this room the both of you are in.You bite and nip his skin as if animal marking its prey. You didn't care if you torn his shirt, you just needed his guide seep through more, letting your body gone addicted to him. "(Y-y/n)!" The whay he whimpered your name made you groaned. The way every pulse from his body sends his guiding through your body.  You were delirious, you can't resist him—
"Missed you! Why aren't you checking my messages? You know I got worried when you didn't reply." He whined, his orbs shows concern and sadness. You look away.
"...hey." you greeted him with quieter tone. You pulled away from the hug not liking the way your body just relaxes everytime his guide powers automatically seeps through your body. You don't hate it but you don't like the way that your body depends on someone just for the sake of being sane and relax.
.... The shame you are feeling over the past few weeks.
You still feel guilty and ashamed about it everytime you remember those memory.
"I... I was busy. Had to do homework. I fell asleep and forgot to charge my phone." You told him. Another excuse. You just put your phone on do not disturb.
You don't have the guts to tell a sweet person like him to leave you alone. Well you did because you are ashamed to face him but he insisted it was never you fault. It always ended up him spending time with you. You can't—you owe him more than anything—Especially now that all people's oggling to you too now that you have the attention of the star. They would try to befriending you so that they could get closer to him.
Gosh, you are getting tired. Why can't people leave you alone?
You missed the old times where you can be at peace. No drama, nowhere near on people who wants attention.
"O-oh. Well that's alright."he chided before grabbing your hands with both of his. His smooth hands rubbing against your ragged callouses. He continued, "well actually I was wondering could you hangout out with me? This friday? I know you don't have schedule at that time since you showed me your schedule—And I want to spend more time with you!" He beamed. His smile was out of this world and it blinds you.
"I uhh .. have a plan on that time..." You words went silent as soon as your eyes sees the smile from his lips slowly fell down to his face."really?" The grip on your hands were getting uncomfortable.
"Umm.... I just wanna be on my home and well—"He gasped, his smile is coming back on his symmetrical face as he clung to your right arm."oh! Why didn't you say so? We can hangout together in your home!"
Giddy, he press his front closer to you which made you feel suffocating. His guide power automatically seeps through you again.
"N-no, Mikah... What I meant to say is I plan to rest, like spend alone on that day. A peace and quiet." You slowly pull away your hand gently from his clinging hands.
You didn't expect he would react like this. Tears are already in the corner of his eyes. His lips quivering. "W-what? Are you saying that I'm boring, I-I'm too loud? Did I do something wrong?"
The people who were eavesdropping at your conversation sent a glare and unwanted resentment towards you. 
You quickly shook your head. Your free hand clasping against his clutching ones that is gripping your poor unavailable hand. "No... It's not like that. You didn't do anything wrong.. I just want a me time... You know when... Uhhh before you and I become friends.... I just want to relax by myself.... You're a good friend and a good company but... We've been hanging out for a while... Ummm w-what I'm trying to say is... I want some time to be alone. You... You know what I mean right?"
Micah gave you a blank stare. You were getting uneasy. You bite your inner cheek. Will he lash out? He never seem to be the person who never received a refusal on his entire life. As soon as 2 seconds has passed, you noticed his eyes were akin to sadness. You feel the guilt running up to your spine.
You tried to avoid his gaze looking straight his frowning lips before getting replace by a forced grin. "Oh! I get that! You wish a time for yourself! Self care stuff in all that!" 
Your heart beats a little faster in excitement, is he finally leaving you for a bit? You were about to thank him for understanding. He does l—
"B-but!!" He grabbed your hands again.
You internally groan. Does he even know the word no? Of course he don't.
He never had someone says no to him. Everything he request would be at his feet. You can't yell or be rude. That's not in your nature and plus if you done it. His fans would kill you.
"I need to be with you o-on friday! You know... I wanna spend my birthday with you.. P-please? your presence alone is enough a gift for me." He stammers. You blink in surprise. "I-I promise I won't bother you the next day if you really wanna spend t-time for yourself..."
Birthday?
"T-to be honest.... I don't like parties uhmm..." He lick his lips as if the word 'party' is a taboo between the two of you." Especially my birthday parties because a-although people greet me a happy birthday or any party occasion and stuff they never really mean it. They... Always use that as an excuse to use me for my fame or my money that I earned so hard in those competitions... I.. I plan to not throw one b-because m-my family isn't forcing me anymore... I just want to spend my birthday w-with you. Y-you're the only d-decent person who treated me normally."he stammer.  You feel a lump on your throat when he says you're a decent. "I... I know... Umm I'm asking to much f-from you and I know... you didn't mean to do that—" he continues to rambles that some of his words can't form a right sentence. You noticed his eyes were in the verge of tears, threatening to drop from his eyes. 
"I'm.... Not a decent person." You told him looking away from him, ashamed and hurt were written in your face.Your voice grew quiet but the man Infront catch on what you said, already refering to the 'incident' between the two of you. He bit his lower lips and almost yelled. His face pull out a sad look. It made him look cute if it's from a tears of joy."Y-you are ! You are a decent person! You know it's not your f-fault! You were d-drugged a-and I... I was drunk! W-we both know we weren't in o-our right minds! You never hurted me—!" He starts hiccuping. "You're a-a good person! W-what happened between that night s-should b-be buried! Y-you're a good friend! It's not your fault! It's not your f-fault!" With that he burst into tears.
You didn't expect for him to cry. You panic mentally. What should you do on these type of situations? You pull him for a hug—albeit stiffeningly."Ok... Ok... Don't cry.... I don't like it... When you cry.. I'm sorry." You told him honestly, truthfully this is not the first time he argued about the incident with you.
You still feel ashamed of yourself. You really do. 
The party. If only you didn't come to your friend's party. The guilt won't eat you. No matter how many times Micah convinced you that none of it was your fault. You feel like you can't face him. He did say he was also drunk at the time but still... You could have gotten home earlier and didn't force yourself on him.
You cried and apologised so many times from him at that time, swearing you will turn yourself over to the police and never let him see your face again. You saw how his whole body was full of marks, hickeys, and bruises. He look like he got ravage. His clothes were thorn and you wish the drug in your system that time killed you.
Micah's eyes light up and a smirk forming from his lips as he nuzzle his face on your neck, pretending to cry even more. Everything is planned, everything worked for him to get you under his palm. He can feel the guilt eating you. 
"... it's okay... Hik... " He sob sneaking in to kiss your neck. You are to busy awkwardly and hesitantly patting his back and hugging him and the man love every second of it.
From the moment you save him from jumping off the bridge, he needed to make you his. Someone who genuinely cares for him from this greedy world is something he needed to treasure.
Oh how he had you wrap around his fingers the moment you accepted that drug-disguise juice from one of his friends offered by the man himself. It's your fault.
It doesn't matter. You're under his palm forever. Everything is 100% perfect.
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isabelawritesthings · 2 days ago
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The last dance
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Pairing: Katarina x F!reader
Synopsis: You are one of the guests at the Black Rose Ball, and your dance partner catches your eye.
Word count: 823
Warnings: Mentions of war and death, mentions of relationship breakups.
An: I know it's just a cinematic, but my heart can't stand seeing beautiful women in fiction and not writing about them 😭 I tried to make it longer but my creative block isn't helping. (In case you're confused and only know Arcane, Garen is her romantic interest in the lore of League of Legends and Jericho Swain is the one who rules Noxus, Demacia and Ionia are regions that are at war with Noxus.)
What happened in Piltover was surprising for all of Runeterra. A simple inventor becoming a kind of God? Even more so in the city of progress? Simply surprising.
Your parents were longtime members of the Black Rose, and with Mel Medarda's return, the organization needed a distraction. And just like in the times when Noxus was a monarchy ruled by an emperor, why not have a ball?
"You look beautiful.” Your mother said to you. “Do we really have to go to this ball? Are we really going to pretend that Ambessa's daughter isn't coming back to finish us all off?" Your mother looked surprised. "You better not say things like that at the ball.” Your father enters the room. "We're going to be late like this, ladies."
It was a masquerade ball, as the Black Rose always liked anonymity, but you didn't care, you wouldn't be wearing a mask that night, you thought the masks were too ugly to wear.
“Honey, do you mind if me and your father go say hi to some friends?" Your mother asked. "No, I think I'll just dance a little." You walk out onto the dance floor, and dance with the first person you see, not caring who it is under that mask. “You dance very well," said the masked person, it was a female voice. "Thank you... Are you part of the Black Rose, or are you just one of those nobles they invited?" The person behind the mask laughed. "You tell me, you're not wearing a mask after all.”
“Those are pretty ugly." You and your dance partner change positions. "I prefer you like this without the mask, you're very pretty.” You gave a small laugh. "You must be the one who's beautiful, redheads usually are." The woman looked you in the eyes. "Maybe we could talk in a more private place." You smiled. "I'd love to." The two of you walked to the garden.
In the garden, the mysterious woman takes off her mask, you weren't wrong, she was indeed beautiful. "Nice to meet you, Katarina." you smiled. "Y/N." Katarina sits on the garden bench. "Your parents are members of the Black Rose, aren't they?” You sit down next to her. "Yes, long before I was born." She gives a shy laugh. "They're all liars and murderers... You don't look like one of them.”
“And I'm not, it's just my parents who have these crazy ideologies of theirs, if I could, I'd be in Demacia or Ionia right now, but I would rule out going to Ionia, there's a very anti-Noxian sentiment there thanks to the war.” Katarina looks at the floor. "Demacia... That name brings back memories." You looked curious. "Are you from there?" Katarina looks at you. "No, I was born right here... It's just that it was there that I lived the best moment of my life, because I found love." You looked even more curious.
“Garen, his name is Garen, he was in the Demacian army, it could never work since we are also at war with Demacia, he would probably be executed for treason if anyone found out.” She looked sad. "Jericho Swain is still going to destroy this country with those stupid wars!" She looked at you again. "I still love him, but it could never work." You changed the subject. "So, what are you doing here? You don't look like a member of the Black Rose." Her eyes looked at you intently. "Let's just say I came to finish something." You thought it was strange that she was staring at you like that.
“You're taking too much of a risk by meeting me in a secluded location, if I were a spy you'd be dead by now." You looked even more surprised. "I... I... It's just that I found you quite peculiar…” She stopped staring at you. "Peculiar? I've heard better compliments... You look like you're also trying to forget a love." She figured it out pretty quickly. "I fell in love with a girl recently, she was in the army, she ended up dying in Ionia." Katarina's face remained still. "I'm sorry." You looked at her. "Don't be sorry, this fate was already predictable.”
You lost track of how much time you spent talking to Katarina on that bench, the more you found out about her, the more impressed you were, like how she had been trained by generals from all over the country.
“I think you need to go now, your parents must be worried." She stood up. "Thanks for the evening, I needed a little chat before I do what I came to do." You stood up too. "You keep mentioning this duty you have to do tonight but you never say what it is." She looks at you. "Let's just say it involves shocking some people at this ball."
She kisses you on the cheek before she leaves, you blush slightly.
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nostalgebraist · 2 days ago
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Thanks for this thoughtful review!
(BTW, for others – this is probably obvious but there are spoilers below the readmore, don't click unless you've read the book)
I'm going to use this as an opportunity to talk about one specific thing that bugs me about some reader reactions to my stuff. Therefore, most of what I say below will be negative (about your review), but I want to emphasize first that that's not a reflection of what I thought of it overall.
----
What I'm here now to talk about is this kind of thing:
There are parts of all his books, where I really think that the explanation for why they are the way they are is that they are "bad on purpose", and all the bullshit [note: in context "bullshit" seems to be meant as a neutral term for non-realist elements -nost] is a way of turning these shortcomings into strengths. The self-effacing voice which whispers that the characters aren't sufficiently well-drawn, are too cartoonish—well, what if that was the point? What if there was a reason for that, in the story?
And like... okay, there is sort of a sense in which this is true, sometimes, kinda. There is a grain of truth to this; it is getting at something real.
But it pains me to say that, because I don't want to encourage this kind of reading. Interpretations like this are occasionally correct but IMO they're much more common than they should be. IMO the right intuition is that this is a galaxy-brained, contrarian sort of take, a last resort you land on when you've ruled out everything else.
And not just with my work, with everything – I'm simply more aware of the problem when it comes to my work, because I wrote it and I'm aware of why I actually did things the way I did.
I've said this before, but watching the way that people react to my own fiction has been an eye-opening experience, one that has taught me things about reader (and viewer, etc.) reactions in general. Specifically, what I've learned was:
People's tastes are way more diverse than I had realized (before I started writing and sharing fiction). And they are diverse in a very fine-grained way; even if two readers have the same preferences about 90% of stuff, or 95%, they'll still diverge on some things. While it's not literally true that "every reader is a unique snowflake with a preference set that no one else shares," that is a very good first approximation of how things are.
Readers (including me!) have been trained by a lifetime of reading book/movie/etc. reviews to frame their preferences/reactions in a pseudo-objective "this is just how it is" way, like their own tastes have some special viewpoint-independent priority, a quality of "reality" or "accuracy" lacking in everyone else's tastes (which are all different, cf. 1). And this is not just a stylistic quirk of the way people write about fiction, it actually (IMO) feeds back into the underlying opinions behind the written commentary. It degrades people's ability to understand what it is they're looking at and their ability to make accurate inferences about the process of its creation.
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Here's a sort of cartoonish schematic of the type of experience that led me to draw these conclusions. (And I suspect this is not just a thing that happens to me, I imagine it happens with any sort of work that "contains a lot of different types of stuff" the way mine does.)
Writer makes something that has X and Y and Z in it. Writer thinks X/Y/Z are "great tastes that taste great together." Writer is very pleased with the result.
Reader 1 has similar tastes to writer, says something brief about how they loved the book and it's a new favorite for them.
Reader 2 loves X, is OK with Y, hates Z. They write a lengthy review saying that the book was a mixed bag and could have been great if the writer had stuck to X and not messed things up by doing so much Z.
Reader 3 is the reverse of their predecessor: they hate X, are OK with Y, love Z. They write a lengthy review saying that the book was a mixed bag and could have been great if the writer had stuck to Z and not messed things up by doing so much X.
Reader 4 loves X and Z – but they hate Y. They write a lengthy… you can fill in the rest. Imagine a whole bunch of these guys (readers 5, 6, etc).
Reader 17 has the same tastes as Reader 2: loves X, is OK with Y, hates Z. But their lengthy review takes a different, in some sense "more charitable" angle, speculating that the inclusion of Z was a load-bearing pillar in the overall structure, a thing that unfortunately had to be included to "unlock" all that sweet sweet X.
Reader 18 has the same tastes as Reader 3: hates X, is OK with Y, loves Z. But, they explain, X was a load-bearing pillar in the overall structure, a thing that unfortunately had to be included to "unlock" all that sweet sweet Z.
Writer reads all these reviews and feels strange, dizzy. The "nicer" reviews like 17 and 18 are actually more uncomfortable to read than the "meaner" ones like 2 and 3.
"I don't know how to convince you guys," Writer thinks, "but I... I just liked all of it? I thought it was good? That was why I wrote it? (Why else would I have written it?)"
----
Or, as I wrote in that previously linked post from 2021, w/r/t TNC specifically (and making a slightly different but closely related point):
Some people say X was the worst part of TNC, some people say X was the best part. The story was a celebration of Y; the story was about how Y is laughably futile. It’s a letdown that we were never told more about Z; the reason TNC is good is that it leaves stuff like Z to the imagination. It was obvious we were meant to believe P; it is obvious we were meant to believe not-P; the ambiguity about whether P is tiresome literary masturbation; at least the story didn’t jump the shark by spelling out whether P! The reason people like TNC is, of course, that it has A, although nostalgebraist insisted on putting B in there too because he hasn’t fully perfected his formula yet / he somehow thinks B is good even though it isn’t / he thinks it’s funny how bad B is (but the joke tires). …and then someone else has same take, but with A and B flipped.
This exact sort of thing is of course happening again before our eyes with reactions to TAoHS.
I've encountered multiple readers who disliked most of the story but felt the ending (sort of) "redeemed it," and I've also encountered multiple readers who liked the story up until the ending but disliked the ending (or at least thought it was worse than the rest) – to say nothing of the many readers who liked (or disliked) the whole thing all the way through.
And this ending-related stuff is just one particularly obvious facet of a broader diversity in the overall reader response.
By now I know not to be surprised by this stuff, and even to find it kind of fun to watch... but I have to admit, it is still a dizzying and uncomfortable experience.
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Now, as I said, it is sometimes true that things really are "bad on purpose."
But I think the interpreter's default hypothesis – which should be maintained by default unless convincing evidence against it can be brought forth – should be:
The writer thinks that the thing they wrote is good. They think the ideas are good and they think they executed them well. And they think this more-or-less homogeneously for everything in the work – there are no "bad but unfortunately necessary" parts from the writer's POV.
(At least, this should be the default with works that aren't making the writer much/any money. Obviously things are different with lucrative commercial fiction; there are plenty of well-paid hacks who know they're hacks and do it for the money, etc.)
Why should this be the default? Multiple reasons.
First: it takes a lot of effort to produce any sort of creative work. The writer thought that effort was worthwhile, for some reason – why?
The most straightforward explanation (and a very common one IMO) is that the writer simply believed in the thing that they were making. They believed the effort was worthwhile because it would yield a good product.
Second: as a writer you have an immense amount of freedom. It's difficult to overstate the extent of it. You are playing God, you decide the way that literally everything will be.
Obviously there are some constraints, cases where one part of a story will imply the existence of another or whatever.
But it's very rare that you actually get forced into "doing a thing you know you are bad at, badly." After all: why do that? No one's forcing you! Just do something else! You're God, you control everything!
(Note that this applies also to the very act of writing anything. No one is forcing you to write at all. If you can't come up with good ideas, nothing prevents you from just not writing your bad ones.)
Third: at least in my experience, "playing God" in this way requires a certain state of mind, a certain boldness and self-assurance, which is incompatible with thinking "yeah this is gonna suck but I have to do it" – but is very compatible with thinking "I am making something excellent and every part of it is excellent, hell yes."
Fourth: because of the previously noted diversity of reader preferences, it should not be surprising to any given reader that they find some parts of the work much better than others, even if the writer thought it was all excellent.
This outcome is predictable from the X/Y/Z stuff I talked about above. No clever interpretive work is required to explain it; it arrives pre-explained; it's simply what happens by default.
And finally: because, as I noted above, I think all of us are infected with "reviewer brainworms" and we need to be mindful of this fact.
(Just to be clear, I am not accusing OP of being more infected with said brainworms than anyone else; I'm still on my soapbox, giving a generic rant about a general issue, with OP as merely a jumping-off point.)
We've grown accustomed to the casual conflation between our own tastes and some (usually hazily imagined and under-theorized) sort of "objective, ideal artistic standards."
Outside of a few edge-case eccentrics who can be ignored for my present purposes, we do not do this because we've become intellectually convinced that
(a) such objective standards make sense and really "exist" or at least really matter and
(b) they just so happen to match our own preferences.
Rather, we've fallen into this habit because it's what the pros do: there's a standard style that professional critics and reviewers write in these days, and that style implies these stances. And if one writes (and thinks, in one's inner monologue) in this style, one can easily fall over backwards into uncritically believing (a) and (b) for no better reason than "I seem to already be talking as though I believe these things, hence it would be simple and convenient if I really did believe them."
But – even if we bracket the philosophical questions of whether (a) is in fact true, and (if it is) whose tastes in particular ought to be elevated in the way (b) presumes – even if we table all that for another day, still we ought to keep in mind how weird and audacious a move this is, this simultaneous assertion-without-explanation of the (a)+(b) pair.
We've gotten used to it by exposure, because "the pros" have normalized it. But in actual fact it is a pretty wild thing to just go and assume, given the X/Y/Z/etc. diversity of actual opinion!
If (b) is true for you (general "you" not OP), then it can't be true for me, because we're both unique snowflakes to a first approximation; indeed if (b) is true for you then (to a first approx.) it is only true for you. No one else's tastes have this magical relation to reality, just yours.
Holding the belief (b) about a given reviewer is conceivable-but-wild if we're only considering them in isolation. But once we bring a 2nd reviewer (with non-identical tastes) into the picture, who also believes (b), it's literally impossible to maintain that both of these people are fully right.
And then of course in real life there are not 2 but many, many readers out there, all of them unique snowflakes. And, while it is socially normal in our social context for each one of them to write like they're the chosen one blessed with that special (b)-magic, if you read enough such writing and actually think about what you're reading, it can't help but feel like a sort of game, like playing make-believe. As with most games, it can be very entertaining (for all parties involved), but we shouldn't confuse its amusing conceits for properties of the real world.
In the real world, the writer has their tastes, and you have yours. These tastes are probably not identical. The writer may be aware of the diversity of readerly tastes, and may thus be aware that tastes like yours are out there, but they have no special reason to consider you in particular, elevating you above all the other readers who are non-identical with them (and with you). The writer is dimly and abstractly aware of you, at best, as just another one of the people who will come along later, dislike some of their choices, assume that these choices were wrong in some "objective" way the writer knew about at the time, and then speculate as to why the writer would do something they know is wrong. For every choice, and every way of making every choice, one can imagine a reviewer who responds to it in this way, and quite often these reviewers actually materialize once the work is available for consumption. If you try to reason about these guys in advance, as a writer, it'll stop you in your tracks (if nothing else because there are 2+ of them whose takes are mutually incompatible). You've gotta have some other standard of value to rely on.
So, as a reviewer, if you ask "why would someone ever make a choice I don't like?" and try to pick at this question, you are quite likely heading toward a dead end. The writer wasn't thinking about you (or people like you). They were applying their own, distinct standard of value.
Better to ask: "suppose there was a person who actually liked all of this. What would they be like? How would they be similar to me / different from me? And what, if anything, can I conclude from that?"
The Apocalypse of Herschel Schoen
My fourth novel, The Apocalypse of Herschel Schoen, is now available in full.
Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!
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calware · 14 hours ago
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Do you have any advice on how to write Dirk and Hal or know of anyone I could get tips from :0?
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okay so first of all i want to say that i don't think that i'm really an 'authority' on the subject, or that anyone else really can be aside from andrew herself. but i do have some thoughts and opinions that i'm willing to share
#1 piece of advice is to reread the comic once in a while. or at least reread bits and pieces if that's too daunting or not feasible. the POV cam extension is really helpful for that because you can specifically reread just the parts where dirk is there (does not work for hal though iirc which is where the dialogue directory is the next best thing) anyway i suggest doing this because it's always better to have their canon depictions fresh in your mind so you aren't accidentally working off of purely fanon ones
i think this is more of just a writing tip in general but try to think about how much you intend to transform the character. and by that i mean how much you want to stick to canon characterization. no matter how far you go with it, your depiction should always be informed by canon, but you can go as far with it as you want as long as it's intentional. so for example, if you want to stay really close to canon characterization, go for it. but if you want to stick them in an AU, ask yourself how that will change their behavior, personalities, etc. and it you specifically want them to act differently than they do in canon, that's okay too as long as you justify it and make it believable to your reader. you don't have to be afraid of changing them as long as something happened to cause that change
i feel like these are the two biggest pitfalls people fall into, usually a combination of the two. either they just don't understand the character well enough to give a believable portrayal of them, they don't give the audience enough reason to believe their portrayal of them, or both. for example there are a lot of hal fics out there where he is evil and kills people for fun, which to me just tells me that the author didn't really get him. but the takeaway isn't that you should never make hal evil and kill people, just that you need to provide basis for the audience to believe that he would be evil and kill people while still feeling in-character for doing so. that's what i mean by intentionality, you need to understand why you make the artistic choices that you are making
i wrote down some common tropes (?) of hal writing i tend to see that are along the lines of "i see these a lot and they wouldn't be bad if the author just made them feel believable" if that's at all helpful. i can do some for dirk as well if anyone wants me to
3. avoid being reactionary. the homestuck fandom is so reactionary with its portrayal of characters, meaning that one mischaracterization will get popular, and people will complain about it and swing the complete opposite direction, leading to a different mischaracterization becoming popular. an example of this is everyone thinking dirk is the coolest ever, and then switching to think he's the lamest ever. just try to focus on your own perceptions of the characters based on what you read from the comic and what you agree with others on, don't form perceptions based on trying to break away from something else
4. this goes more for dirk than hal because hal isn't as popular, but just keep in mind that dirk isn't the main character. i think a lot of people attribute main character energy to him when they don't really have to. obviously if you write a fic about dirk, he's literally going to be the main character, or if he's your favorite character you're going to care about him more than the others. but that doesn't mean he's any more important, more special, more traumatized, more mentally ill, or what have you, than any other character. going back to the example from above, the people who treat him as both the coolest OR the saddest character are both portraying him as the Special Boy. when the reality is that they are all pretty special and he's not an exception
i hope that all made sense... if not feel free to ask and i can explain further if needed
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genericpuff · 1 day ago
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Hello! I'm someone with autism (and I'm suspecting ADHD too) who's planning multiple projects. Do you have any advice when it comes to overthinking a lot about decisions on a project? Be it the first step, planning, questioning if you're moving too fast, etc?
ouuuu I think the biggest thing I struggle with personally is just like... the overbearing weight of expectation that isn't necessarily even there. Like, expectation to do everything right all the time, to never make mistakes, to never fall through on promises, to never break any 'rules' (real or imaginary) and most of all, for everything I do to matter in some big, recognizable, memorable way - but the steps to that goal aren't defined, I just know what the goal looks like, with no clear path as to how to get there, and so it often results in me aiming at my own "best guess" and then beating myself up for not hitting the target LOL which is completely unfair to myself and my own work!
What I try to regularly remind myself of is that I am one person, who is only capable of what one person should reasonably be able to accomplish on their own, no matter how much my auDHD tries to convince me otherwise that I "should" be able to handle more than what's reasonable. And in that same sense, there isn't any more pressure on me to put out something perfect than there would be on any other person. I am not Atlas carrying the fate of the greatest work known to mankind on my shoulders - I'm a chronically online dweeb making stuff that's interesting to themselves and sharing it in the hopes that even just one other person will like it too. That isn't a diss on myself, that's me embracing what I am so that I can keep doing it better and more confidently each time.
Though I don't know if this exactly applies to you, I'm gonna say it just in case: I know when it comes to balancing multiple projects, it can be hard not to go "oh well I SHOULD be working on xyz!" but at the end of the day, you're not a failure for preferring to work on something else or needing space from projects that used to thrill you and have now become monotonous. In fact, it turns out that's how it is for most neurotypical people too! I know they make a lot of shit look easy, but even they have shit they loathe doing - they just don't have to deal with the unique hurdles of being neurodivergent.
Always remember to set boundaries with yourself and your work. Remember, just because you're really excited to work on something, doesn't mean you have to work on it all the time. I've learned to appreciate those moments when I'm stuck doing my day job and I'm excited to get home and work on my passion project, because it means I can actually look forward to it and it'll feel all the more rewarding when I finally get to do it! Pushing yourself too hard to fulfill that excitement all at once right off the bat often just means you're gonna spend it all way too quick, and that won't feel good because then you'll be left wondering where all the love went.
Set little goals for yourself. Stuff that's manageable and achievable within a reasonable amount of time. I know we tend to dive into thinking huge right off the bat, because that's what's exciting to us, but when it comes time to actually do the work, those smaller goals can keep us moving forward far better than the big, far off, ambiguous goal hiding somewhere off in the horizon. While it's good to plan ahead, not setting smaller milestones for yourself can burn you out faster because it's really hard to work towards an "end goal" that might be too far away for us to even conceptualize. The small goals allow us to reward ourselves along the way, and they do ultimately still build up to the bigger picture in the end, even if it feels like we're "not doing much". It can be anything like "get to this chapter that I can finish in the next few weeks" or "fully write out this scene that's been living in my head rent-free".
As for the overthinking... yeah, I wish I had some magic solution to that, but it's really just about learning what you enjoy doing vs. what you don't, so that you can have confidence in knowing when your creative decisions suit the project you're working on. This is something that gets better with practice and experience, but I feel like it's better tackled by reminding yourself that any project, no matter the outcome of how popular it gets or whether or not it "takes off", is an opportunity to learn and grow. Treat every project as a learning experience and you'll hopefully find the process itself more enjoyable, which will subsequently buff up your confidence. It's all a process of honing in on what works for you, what you excel at, and what you enjoy doing; while learning what doesn't work for you, what you could improve at, and what you don't enjoy doing.
Finding a writing buddy or someone who's willing to read your work and give you feedback is super helpful for this, too, because sometimes it takes another perspective to help us navigate the fog of indecision and find a solution.
And again, remember - you are one person, and you are under no obligation for any of your projects to be some perfect, infallible holy grail. You will write stuff that you will inevitably look back on with disgust and cringe. You will create projects that you will eventually outgrow or move on from. That does not invalidate the time and effort you put into those projects - it's proof of experience and growth. Embrace the growing pains, find peace in the process in whatever way you can.
It's not a question of right or wrong - it's asking yourself what feels true to you and your voice, and finding out along the way.
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genderqueerdykes · 2 days ago
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I thought the only one that can have wrist pain is adults with job, but I'm still a teenager and already have it. It got to the point that I can't draw or write for days and it frustrated me. I don't want to be an attention seeker to my parents so i want to know your opinion on it.
anyone can be experiencing pain for whatever reason, it doesn't matter what age you are, you can sprain or injure yourself quite easily on accident. injuries and pains don't have to be from repetitive stress, it can also come from sudden trauma, inflammation around your joints, connective tissue problems and so on. if you aren't able to get the pain to go away after stretching, applying heat and/or cold, resting it, etc. and it persists, it's definitely worth telling someone about, because the normal amount of pain to be in is none!
it's really sad that people make each other feel like attention seekers for needing medical assistance. why do people think those jobs are so plentiful and high paying? it's because they take care of people, they're very busy, they are working very hard for a lot of different people in a lot of different situations. most people end up needing to go to the doctor many times throughout their lives for a variety of reasons and it's so normal. it's okay to want to get checked up, you never know.
especially when you're still physically maturing, things may not be setting into place or growing correctly, or you may be showing symptoms of a condition that is developing. it's always best to be safe, in my book. i've ignored things that i thought were nothing and then it turned out to be very serious. we're all taught to do that. but medical services are there to be used. biology is very strange and human bodies mess up in a lot of ways. i hope that helps, good luck, stay safe out there
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worldly-fluster · 2 days ago
Text
Snapdragon
Dragon!Sylus x Non-MC! Reader
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Part 1 of ?
*This will be Non-Canon BTW it starts with Dragon!Sylus and goes into normal Sylus*
Warnings: Blood, cussing...I think that's it lol
**non-mc but will be called MC because it's easier to write than (y/n) every time 👍**
-The Start of Something Normal-
-1st person POV- changes throughout**
Have you ever wondered if there was something...more?
Something other than going to a 9-5 and paying rent with all you earned, there must be something else.
At least I had my games right?
-
Today is weird.
Just weird.
Ever since I woke up from a weird dream, that I can't even remember, I've been randomly smelling flowers.
Checked the LADS game, flowers.
Got ready for work, flowers.
Delt with customers, flowers.
But I'm the only one smelling it?
Maybe it's the stress, I'll just have to take melatonin when I get home.
-
As I walked through the front door of my apartment, coming home after a long day at work, I was greeted by dark silence. I hate living alone...
I sighed as I placed my keys on the shelves by my door and threw my heavy jacket on top of them. I limped slightly into my living room/kitchen, my feet hurting from standing all day. When I reached the couch, my nose was assaulted by the smell of flowers once again causing me to groan.
"What the fuck... Bruh." I plopped down on the cheap leather futon with a weeze, reaching for the bottle of melatonin gummies I threw on there the other night.
Popping two into in my mouth, I grabbed the iPad next to the bottle and opened up the Love and Deepspace app.
I smiled when I saw Sylus show up immediately on the screen, my heart doing a badump as I sang quietly along to the intro.
Finally getting onto the game, I went to the daily login that I forgot to get this morning, ignoring Zayne standing there in his Panda onesie.
After completing the normal, I didn't know what to do, so I went to check the memories. Only then did I remember I never actually watched the new Dragon Sylus cards...
From what I heard about them it seemed traumatizing. But I guess if I had nothing else to do?...I'm gonna regret it aren't I.
The smell of flowers hit my nose again, even stronger than before, when I tapped the first one I saw called 'Abyssal Blossom'.
As the memory loads, the iPad glitches and shuts off. Maybe I forgot to charge it and it died? The smell of flowers is almost overwhelming, as if I'm standing in a field full of them.
I started feeling tired, so tired that I could hardly stand up so I decided to just sleep for a while on the futon. I fell asleep quickly.
-
This dream?...felt familiar...and too real.
The scent of the flowers made more sense here, the field looking familiar...oh its almost exactly like the flower field you can see in one of Sylus' Dragon cards.
What was the name of it again? Abyssal something...
Oh whatever, these flowers are nice. The scent kinda comforts me, almost like a mix of vanilla citrus? With a slight hint of herbal lavender I think... I don't know I'm bad with identifying stuff.
This dream is quite detailed though, the flowers, the dirt, the nice cool breeze and warm rays of sun on my skin...wait, what's that? Looks like something flying in the sky? A big bird maybe...it's coming closer? Oh shit, what the fuck-?!
The air was knocked out of my lungs as I was picked up and yoinked through the air.
"Are you here to try to kill me?"
I blinked up at the...man? Are we flying??
"No?"
I wheezed out my answer, it sounding more like a question in my shock as I clung onto him. The man? narrowed his eyes at me.
Are those red eyes? And horns? Why does he look like Sylus?? Wait, Dragon Sylus???
He seemed to search my face for something, his own relaxing a bit as he found what he was looking for.
"Then why are you in my territory?"
"I don't know, I just woke up here..."
"Woke up here? Who, in their right mind, would come into my territory for any reason?"
"I don't know...I just remember falling asleep at home and waking up in this field. It's beautiful by the way."
"Hm..."
"What should I call you? I'm MC."
"...Stayrus*" (Something that sounds similar lol)
"...How about Sylus?"
"Do what you want. It'll be up to me whether I answer or not."
"So...where are you taking me?"
"To my home, where I will be keeping an eye on you."
"Oh okay."
"Don't get any ideas human. I'm bored and I have been waiting for something interesting."
"I mean, I figured. No one just goes out and picks up a random stranger without being a little bored."
He grunts as he continues flying through the sky.
He brought me to a cave opening at the top of a deep canyon, he sat me down and lightly pushed me inside.
"You will be staying here until I say so."
"Alrighty. Any rules?"
"No...you are oddly okay with this."
"Well," I shrug, "it's either this or fend for myself in an unfamiliar place outside."
-
"Sylus?"
"..."
"Um...Stayraytus??"
"That was terrible."
"Sorry..."
"..." He sighs, "What is it?"
"So...I have zero survival skills...can you teach me how to survive here? Please?"
"...child."
"Yes...sorry."
-
It's been about a week since Sylus, yes he started answering to it, let me stay in his 'home'. He started teaching me some survival things, like how to find food, telling me to ask him first if the thing is edible. Other than that, it was...boring.
In my boredom, while Sylus lay on the cool cave floor surrounded by gold, I started stretching.
Touching my toes, bending to the side, balancing on one foot like a flamingo...you name it, I was trying to do it.
I was in the downward dog position when Sylus spoke.
"What are you doing?"
"...yoga?"
"...yugo."
"Pffft-" I couldn't help but laugh a bit, "it's Yo-gah."
"...why are you doing whatever that's called?"
"It's so my body doesn't get stiff."
"...how old are you?"
"23."
"..."
"...Don't you dare say it."
Sylus grunted as he went back to messing with his golden lamp thing.
After a bit of silence he spoke.
"I'm 27."
I looked up at him in a little surprise.
"Really? You look my age honestly."
"hm."
-
We were sitting by the entrance of the cave, watching the sunset, when Sylus broke the silence.
"Your hair..."
"What's wrong with my hair? Is there knots? I swear I got them all out earlier..."
"No, it's just different."
"What do you mean?"
"everyone I've ever seen had lighter hair...yours is darker. It's...pretty."
My face felt hot as I turned away from him.
"Oh, thank you...no one's said that about me before."
"Why not?"
I shrug.
"I'm sure that you get called pretty, beautiful, every time someone sees you, I mean, you're pretty attractive...I'm going to shut up now..."
There was a bit of silence until he spoke, looking over my face.
"No one has ever called me any of those things before..."
"Oh...well I still think you are. Those people are just blind."
"...Thank you."
I smile at him.
"Any time."
A comfortable silence settled over us but I couldn't take my eyes off of him if I tried. His hair looked so soft and fluffy...
"Hey Sylus?"
"Hm?"
"Can I...touch your hair?"
He looked questioningly at me, one of his brows raised.
"Why?"
"It looks so soft, but you don't need to say yes. I was just curious."
Sylus looked to the side, seeming to think for a moment before he looked down with a small smile, giving a small nod before he lay stretched out and placed his head on my lap, careful of his horns.
I let out an excited hum as I carefully ran my fingers through his hair, my nails slightly scratching his scalp. He grunted, not really used to this type of contact but...he thinks he can get used to this.
Sylus closed his eyes as he felt your hands work their way through his hair, around the base of his horns gently and lightly rubbing behind them in the hard to reach places. His chest felt warm, his heart fluttering as all he could think about were your hands, the warmth of your thighs...
He could definitely get used to this.
-
It seemed winter was fast approaching as the cave seemed to get colder, frost covering the edges of the entrance. I sat snuggled into Sylus' side.
"...What are you doing?"
"It's cold, it's called cuddling for warmth."
"... do as you wish."
His tail gently curled around us, pushing me just a bit closer.
"...it is getting colder out. We'll have to get you something warmer."
"Ah, don't worry about it. You're warm enough so I'll just have to stay right here."
Sylus grunted, his tail wrapping just a bit tighter. Just enough for me to notice.
-
The next day, Sylus was gone for a little while. I had to stay warm by my own makeshift fire, the dry sticks that were just by the edge of the cave entrance being my fuel.
While I waited for Sylus to get back I watched as the smoke went up through a small hole in the ceiling of the cave, wondering, how long have I been here? Where he could have gone? ...how much longer will I be allowed to stay?
After just a few more minutes, I heard the sound of his powerful wings as he landed at the entrance. He was holding a big bundle of... something.
He walked over to me and just, dumped what he was holding onto my head.
"Mph?!"
"This should work."
His tail moved the pile of burning sticks to the side before I could accidentally fall onto it with his gift still suffocating me.
Seeing me still struggling with it, he chuckled and plucked one blanket off my head letting me poke my head out of the pile.
"Guh! Why you do this?"
"English Sweetie."
"What is this?"
"Blankets, for warmth."
"...Thank you Sylus."
"Hm. Now scooch over, I'm cold."
"You're literally a walking furnace?"
"... I'm cold."
"Just say you wanna cuddle."
"...cuddle me."
-
As winter gave way to spring, the flowers started blooming again. The change in temperature seemed to make Sylus stir crazy.
I let out a squeal as his thick tail wrapped around my waist and pulled me along.
"Sylus! No!"
"Sylus yes."
"No!"
"Do you want to see the flowers or not?"
"...fine. But if you drop me, I will haunt you."
-
After a short flight, Sylus landed at the field of flowers he found me in. I looked around, having not had the chance to fully look around before being whisked away, when I saw something that made me gasp.
"Oh! Look, there are Snapdragon's!"
I moved towards them, Sylus staying close to my side.
"What? There aren't any other dragons here."
"No not actual dragons, Sy, they're a type of flower."
I move so he could see it better.
"This is a snapdragon!"
"That looks nothing like a dragon."
"It kinda does, see? This is it's eyes, nose, horns, and this!"
I push the sides of the flower together, making a small opening into the flower.
"Is it's mouth! Cool right?"
"... dragons don't open their mouth just because you touch their cheeks."
"These ones do. Try it! It's fun."
"Fine."
I watched as he moved his claws around the flower, actively trying not to damage it, but failing.
"Sylus you have to be gentle." I giggle as he accidentally crushes the flower between his claws.
"Here, use the pads of your fingers instead."
I hold his hands as I help him gently open the Snapdragon's mouth. His breath seemed to stutter as he let me guide his hands.
"There, you did it!"
"Hmm..."
In a small burst of confidence, I giggle and lift my hands to his face where I gently press on his cheeks.
"Good job!"
His eyes widen slightly and out of reflex, or shock, his mouth slightly opens.
"You know, you're my big Snapdragon."
-
After we made our way back to the cave, I had a thought.
"What if I end up going back some day?"
"Back where?"
"My home, like how I woke up here, will I one day wake up back home?"
Sylus seemed to stiffen a bit as he looked towards me, eyes searching my face.
"...do you want to go back home."
"I don't know, some days I miss home but most days I forget."
"I understand...what if you never go back?"
"Then I hope you'll let me stay?"
"I'll be here."
There is a long comfortable silence as we watch the sunset from the mouth of the cave once again. I took in a big breath of the freshest air I'll ever have and enjoy the moment.
"Sylus? Can you promise me something?"
"What is it?"
"If I do end up leaving somehow, I want you to find things that make you happy, not just surviving but living."
His tail flicks a bit behind us.
"...fine, as long as you promise the same."
-
A few days later we were at the flower field once again.
The sun set and we continued to sit amongst the flowers after a long day of lazing around. The stars slowly came out one by one.
While I watched the stars it reminded me of a song that gets stuck in my head.
"You and I stargazing...intertwining souls..."
I quietly sang, trying not to disturb the quiet night.
While I looked at the stars and the moon that hung beautifully, Sylus looked my way with a slightly raised brow, curious.
"What's that?
He whispered his question, his rough voice surprisingly soft.
I gave a small hum, still looking at the night sky.
"it's a song from my home... sitting here under the stars reminded me of it."
"Hm..."
"You know...the moon is very beautiful tonight."
"...yeah, it is."
He couldn't seem to look away from you, watching the moon and stars that reflected in your eyes.
-
I heard birds chirping as I slowly woke up from a comfortable sleep, feeling warm. I could smell flowers still. I tried to turn but a weight on my side stopped me.
I heard a deep grunt as the weight tightened around me and pulled me closer. A second weight being added onto my legs, seeming to curl around and in between them.
I groggily opened my eyes to be met with a familiar shiny red jewel, just barely grazing my nose. I moved my hands up from their place by my stomach up to the jewel. I leaned my face into the jewel and snuggled closer.
I could feel a soft rumbling coming from the dragon I was cuddled to, having realized it was him from the warmth he gave me.
"It seems we fell asleep..."
His voice was deep from sleep, his clawed hands pulling me closer. The scent of flowers being drowned out by his smell. Scent like a bonfire and leather.
"We're still in the field?"
"Yeah...I didn't want to wake you."
I felt his warm breath on the top of my head, taking in my own scent.
He...he's definitely used to this. He never wants to let you go. You gave him a warmth he thought he would never receive, showed him care and treated him not as the monster everyone screams he is. With you, he's not a Fiend. He's Sylus, your Snapdragon.
-**
It was only a few moments...
That's all it took.
One second, you both were walking through the field towards home when there was a sharp sound. Sylus reacted almost immediately, dodging the claymore that sliced into the dirt where he was just seconds ago.
He barely let out a breathe before the assailant attacked again. He dodged once more before he heard.
"Sylus! Help!"
His head snapped towards the direction of your voice. What he saw made his blood boil. You were being pinned to the ground by a big burly, ugly, man.
"I got you!"
In his moment of distraction, the one attacking him hit him with something like magic. Golden chains wrapped around him, pinning him down. He heard a laugh as a woman walked into his sight, she was a sorceress and she had an overconfident smirk on her face.
"Time to face your fate, Fiend!" She laughed out, "honestly, I thought you were stronger than that. How disappointing."
"Fate?! What fate?!"
Sylus heard you struggling, making him start to struggle as well so he can get you out of here.
"Now now," the sorceress tutted towards him, then turned towards you, "His fate is to die by my claymore. Simple."
"That's his fate?! Bullshit!"
"You can't change fate-"
"Like fuck I will!"
You cut her off, just as you knocked the large man off of you with a quick kick to the groin. When you were free you threw yourself between her and Sylus.
"Just watch me."
You smirked as you watched her eyes widen and she took a step back.
"MC! No!"
Sylus struggled with the golden chains of magic holding him down.
"Don't worry Snapdragon...I got this."
"Stop! This is not-"
"Too late, already did."
-**
I grunt as the claymore goes through my chest, I can feel the intense pain for only a moment before it seems to disappear. The claymore is lodged in my chest, a ringing going through my ears. Sylus' eyes widen as it feels all the air is taken from his lungs when he sees the end of the claymore exit your back.
"MC!"
"Hahaha! Now what are you going to do Fiend?!"
"I'm going to fucking kill you!"
I heard a growl and the sound of something breaking but my mind goes a little fuzzy as a fight rages on, roars of anger and grunts reach my ears along with the sounds of a blade and claws. I could faintly hear the sound of tearing flesh.
All I could do was stare at the claymore still embedded in my chest, my hands too shaky and weak to pull it.
For a moment I thought the last things I would hear was the fight until-
"MC-"
Sylus slides over to me, his bloodied claws gently holding me. His wounds are already healing over as his panicked eyes look me over.
"MC, she's gone, you don't have to worry now. I got you."
"Sy..."
"Shit..." His voice grew hoarse, his eyes and hands shaking slightly as he tried to figure out a way to help. He seemed to find an idea as his brow set in determination.
"We need to resonate, my healing could help you but we need to resonate, now."
I nod slightly and he grabs my hand gently with one of his as his other gently tries to remove the claymore. I could feel his claws shake a little as he closed his eyes but I didn't want to close my eyes yet. I didn't want it to be the last time I did, so I watched as his power and a power I didn't know I had, connected. When I concentrate I can feel his anger, his fear, and something else I couldn't place. I watched as the claymore fell out of sight, his now free hand coming up to cup my face.
He leaned closer, our foreheads lightly touching.
I could almost feel my flesh mend, but the pain was numb to me as I kept my eyes on his face. I saw his brows furrow, his lips thin in what looks like pain-our shared pain, his eyes stayed closed in concentration.
After a moment more, I felt complete. I let out a sigh as the resonation slowly disappeared, my eyes fluttering closed a moment before I fixed them onto him. I watched as his eyes slowly opened, his nose grazing mine as his eyes locked on mine.
"You aren't going anywhere. Not without me. We live together and we die together. Only you can kill me, and I you."
There is a slight glow to his eyes and the gem in his chest as he stares into my eyes, into my soul.
"Sylus-"
"You're stuck with me. Who else will teach me about your home?"
I shake my head with a giggle.
"What would I do without my Snapdragon?"
"Hm..."
"I'd probably die."
He glared at me for even joking about it, his hand gripping mine a little harder. The hand on my cheek pressed against me, forcing my forehead to press onto his a little more.
"Even if I wasn't here, I would do everything to make sure you stay by me."
"That doesn't even make sense." I laugh.
"You know what I mean." He smiles as you bring a hand to his face, rubbing your thumb of his cheek to get some dirt off. He leaned into your touch, his eyes full of warmth as he continued to stare into your eyes.
After a moment I pull away and stand, Sylus standing as well. I look around at the now destroyed field, a pang of sadness hits my heart...
As both of us take in the aftermath, an oddly familiar scent hits my nose...when suddenly my body starts to glow slightly.
"Wait, Sylus what's happening?"
"I don't know, come here."
This feeling I get from the soft glow feels familiar...my eyes widen when I realize, the smell...
"Sylus!"
"MC?!"
We reach out to each other but the moment his clawed hand touches my hand, a bright light shines and I'm gone.
-**
Nothing is left of her as the light completely disappates
"MC?!"
Sylus turns this way and that, wanting- needing to see just a glimpse of her. His tail whipping around wildly as he floats around in a panic, clawed hands reaching for something, anything.
"MC!...Where..."
Sylus stops for a moment, slowly landing on the cold ground beneath him before collapsing to his knees.
He throws his head back as he lets out the most broken yell that could be heard for miles.
He looked to the side when he ran out of breath, his chest heaving as he let out a whimper. He saw that claymore, laying coldly on the dirt. Your blood still covered it, your scent still on it...
A few tears fell from his eyes as he reached out and gripped the handle. He pulled it towards him, curling around it slightly on the ground.
He lay there for what felt like forever to him, in the very flower field he met you...the flowers mostly crushed by the ambush of the sorceress that was sent to kill him with this very claymore.
When he finally had the energy to move, he went back to your shared cave, claymore in hand. Seeing the entrance made his flight stutter, knowing you won't be there to welcome him home...
He landed at the opening, he stepped heavily inside.
He saw your pile of blankets, the small fire pit you built, the little trinkets you collected from his horde that he let you have...
He stabbed the claymore into his old sleeping place then made his way towards the small stream that runs through the edge of the cave. He used the water from the steam to clean the blood off of him, yours, his, that damned sorceress...
After he was cleaned and dried off with the cloth you used to use, he made his way to your pile of blankets.
Sylus collapsed into them, burying himself in your scent, a wine leaving his throat as he held tightly onto what was left of you.
The dragon is lost without his master...
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