#i'm glad i could fill out another year.. so crazy | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

prodagustd · 9 months ago

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the road not taken 04 | myg

part four: a wish

Summary: Were you about to go crazy if you started to consider that Yoongi felt something for you?

—pairing: lawyer!yoongi x actress!oc

—rating: +18

—genre: brother's best friend, one sided pinning (or both?)

—warnings/tags: slow burn, angst, FLUFF ❤️‍🩹, eventual smut, angst, sexual tension!!!!! flashbacks, ANGST!! mentions of sex 👀Btw english is not my first language!

—words: 9.6k

—a/note: hiiii friends!!! i'm glad to say that it didn't take me six months to post this :D. I genuinely went through the most stressful two months of my life so I'm really proud that I could finish this chapter while trying to survive this thing called being an adult!! Anywayy, I’m excited for this chapter but I’m MORE EXCITED FOR THE NEXT ONE… 👀 so please have patience with this story!!! I promise it’s worth it hehehe. As always, you are more than invited to discuss this chapter in the asks, feedback is always welcomed <3 this one is very fluffy i hope you enjoy ittt. (Also if you read a typo, no you didn’t)

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Four years ago

Seven days before New Year’s Eve

Were you too naive to still believe your father when he said that you were granted a wish every Christmas? He used to say that every year when he was still around and you were still a kid, when the clock struck twelve you could wish anything you wanted, as long as it wasn’t something material or more presents, you had to wish for something special, something that made you happy.

The last Christmas before your father passed away you were seven years old and still believed in Santa Claus. That year, for some reason, your wish slipped your mind, you forgot about it completely. You stayed at your house, watched movies the whole day in your pajamas and at midnight your parents let both you and Simon open only one present before sending you to bed. You remembered how your father chased you to the stairs to tickle you until you cried of laughter and how good the cookies your mother made that night were, perhaps that year you were too happy to remember making a wish, perhaps what you had was enough. When you woke up the next morning, you were sad that you had wasted it, but your father, wise as ever, told you not to worry. He said that it was like you were saving your wish for the next year — maybe then it would be stronger, and maybe, since you waited, you would have a better chance of it coming true.

By the time Christmas came the following year your father was already gone, and with him all the magic of the world. You had to grow up, you stopped making wishes and tried to stop believing in stories, but it was difficult when his words were still at the back of your mind like some sort of tradition every holiday season. Despite knowing that magic didn’t exist and perhaps not a single wish of yours had ever come true, you still couldn't help but believe you still had your last wish, and everytime the idea of finally making it crossed your mind, you stopped to tell yourself you could still wait another year, just to be sure.

That morning you saw Yoongi leaned over his car, adjusting his cap as he saw you walking over to him and you thought about your saved wish for the first time this year. And then again when he grabbed your hand to drag you out of the room, or when he waited for you at the bottom of the stairs before leaving the house, but you wouldn’t admit it, not even to yourself.

He dragged you all across your grandmother’s hometown as if you didn’t know it like the palm of your hand, as if the streets weren’t filled with kids running and whole families doing last-minute gift shopping, but he didn’t seem to care, so for once, you didn’t let it annoy you either. You observed the happy families and the kids playing in the snow, and sat in the park for as long as the cold weather allowed.

It was like you entered a trance, you tried to fight the urge to snap out of the moment and talked and talked the whole afternoon about everything and nothing at the same time, Yoongi listened and laughed while playing with the ends of your hair, pushing you closer to the edge of illusion. If you weren’t so adamant to stay in that blurry haze, you would’ve done something to stop him, you would’ve push his hand away when he tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, you would’ve hated how easy it was for him to play dumb, how natural it was to touch you without feeling something was wrong. You ignored it instead, you ignored him and his wandering hands and the fact that he didn’t dare to mention the moment you shared in the closet, nor the way your noses brushed together, or how his fingers hugged your waist as if you weren’t just friends. Even if you would’ve died for him to say a word about it, to tease you, to attempt to make fun of you just to know that what happened was real and not something you dreamt last night.

If you were really dreaming, you held on to your sleep for a while. When Yoongi found that secondhand bookstore five blocks away from the park, he grabbed your hand when you ran across the street before the traffic lights turned green and stayed inside wandering the aisles with him, you let him lean over to whisper jokes in your ear and you punched his arms when he made you laugh a little bit too loud. You tried to keep your voices low and made a list of books to read the following year. You didn’t buy any of them but you read the prologues and the author’s biographies like it was the most interesting thing in the world. You waited for Yoongi when he started to talk with an old man about a book he needed for college and, when he felt you drifting away, he hooked one of his fingers on the belt loop of your jeans and pulled you close to him again. You felt his hands on your waist, keeping you pressed against the side of your body while he pretended to be focused on the conversation, but he was focused on something else. His long fingers played with the waistband of your jeans as your chest felt tight and your breath felt heavier. Maybe you were beginning to go insane, maybe you had a fever and everything was just a product of your imagination, but a tiny voice inside your head quietly suggested that maybe this time you weren’t insane, maybe it was just him.

It was getting dark outside, and you were supposed to be home anytime soon, but he turned his head to you and whispered in your ear that you should save a seat at the coffee shop next door and wait for him while he paid for the book. Even if it was cold and snowing neither of you wanted to return home yet, so you agreed. You made your way to the cute little coffee shop adorned with Christmas lights and sat on a table to wait for him to arrive at the table, until you saw him entering the shop with a book wrapped in brown wrapping paper in his hands.

You observed him approaching with your face on the palms of your hands, you watched his eyes scanning the place until they found you in some poor illuminated corner. He smiled, his eyes never left yours as he made his way to your table, and when he sat in front of you, he slid the book towards you.

“This is for you.” He simply said, crossing his arms over his chest like it was no big deal.

You frowned, confused. Did Yoongi get you some lawyer book? You didn’t know, you grabbed the wrapped book in your hands and scanned it as if you were able to see through the envelope. “The book you needed for college?”

“It’s not that.” He huffed. “It’s a present.”

You tried to bite back a smile, but you failed. “Is this your way to tell me you forgot to buy me a Christmas present?” You joked, making him roll his eyes.

“C’mon, you know me.” He said “I would never give you a Christmas present before Christmas, are you crazy?”

You laughed “So is this not a Christmas present?” You inquired, teasing him.

“It is a Christmas present, but not the Christmas present that I got for you.” He tried to clarify, and it sounded confusing but you understood him anyway.

You nodded, tearing the wrapping paper to reveal that Yoongi just bought you an Anne Sexton poetry book, the title “Love Poems” shinned in red on the cover, making you hold your breath for a second.

You raised your gaze from the book to find his eyes, which were looking at you expectantly, the same way someone looked at the moon, yearning. The same way you were looking at him.

“How did you know…?” The question died in your lips.

“I just know.” He cheekily said, and that was enough.

You know me, he said, and you felt your heart aching when you realized that Yoongi knew you too, and it was becoming impossible to escape from it.

You spent these past weeks trying to make it disappear, but there it was again, that strange feeling you felt in your chest, like something tugged from a string tied to your heart to try and steal it away. You were sure Yoongi thought he had his ways with you, that he was some kind of genius that knew exactly what to say and what to do to erase the frown from your face and make you laugh, but the truth was that he didn’t need to do much effort to win you over, the truth was that he already had you. He had you then, and he had you now and you weren’t sure if that was ever going to change, but today you didn’t care, you let him walk you home as he wrapped his arms around your shoulders like that warm wouldn’t chill you to the bone when he left.

You had successfully gone through dinner without having to answer questions about college, or your future, or anything about yourself at all, part of it was because your grandmother didn’t ask any questions to begin with. Maybe you were a bit jealous that she seemed more interested in Eva, your cousin, who was a biochemist and just got engaged, or Aidan, your other cousin, who was just admitted into college, or even Yoongi, who was about to graduate, however, you felt relieved that the attention was not focused on you. You were used to your family thinking that you were a thirteen year old teenager and not a twenty one year adult, the attention was never really on you, sometimes it bounced on you accidentally like a ball and, from time to time, you got to share a glimpse of information about your life, but most of the time your mother answered for you as if you were a kid in the hospital room, trying to include you in conversations and talking about your own projects, and that was enough for everyone.

In the past, your mother had sat you down several times to explain that your grandmother was never an easy woman, she reassured you that her judgmental behavior was a reflection of herself, not of you. She always offered to let you stay at home if you wanted to, but you refused only for the rest of the family, you could stand being with your grandmother if that meant being with the rest of them. And you learnt to endure it all: your grandmother’s judging look, all the talking about your cousin’s achievements, their goals, projects, flawless record, and the fact that everyone seemed to be finding their paths except for you. You had to learn to pretend you were happy for them and not jealous, you took several breaths and moved on, and for a while you thought that after two decades of your life you had finally mastered the art in not giving a fuck about what your family thought about you, until today when you ran to hide in the closet so they wouldn’t find you.

You had to work on that, you knew that, but at least for now the blatant disinterest for your life spared you from having to explain your life crisis, at least Yoongi was by your side, redirecting attention to him and the real question everyone wanted to ask but no one dared, a question that eclipsed any other topic of conversation: what was happening between the two of you?

You looked at him next to you, charming as ever, talking with your uncle across the table. He decided to put on his glasses, his cheeks were pink and the sleeves of his blue sweater were rolled up to his elbows, his arm was casually resting on the top rail of your chair and every time he made a joke he looked at you to check if you were laughing. Every attempt he made to try to make you part of the conversation made your heart swell, but you were more than happy just observing him blending into your family as if he were part of it; you wanted to be as clueless as everyone on the table and believe that Yoongi could be sitting next year at this very same table to be there for you, for a moment you allowed yourself to dream of a reality where he saved you from every family gathering like he was doing tonight.

From the tip of your nose to the tip of your toes you felt warm, almost as if you had a fever. It was probably because you were still wearing your black sweater inside the house or because the memory of the book Yoongi gave you kept your cheeks burning red, or maybe because when dinner was over and your family lingered over the table for the longest time they could, you saw Yoongi tilting his head towards the stairs, meaning it was time to go to bed.

There was a couple differences between this weekend and the night Yoongi slept with you after coming back from The Alley, that night you wouldn’t have ask him to stay over if you were sober, and he most likely wouldn’t have stay if he wasn’t high, tonight you had to share the room, but it was impossible for you not to be dramatic and always make big deals out of small things. Unlike you, Yoongi didn’t flinch when you told him you were going to sleep in the same room, you failed to remember that you were the one who had a decade-long crush on him and not the other way around.

Now the house was quiet and everyone was scattered around the floors, your cousins were in the living room with your uncle, your grandmother was already in bed, your mom was in the kitchen washing the dishes and Yoongi was upstairs, waiting for you. Before going with him, you changed into your pajamas and went to the kitchen to steal a few cookies that your mother cooked for tomorrow morning. You could wait a few hours more to eat the cookies, but you were desperately trying to look for an excuse to prolong the moment you entered the room you were sharing with the man upstairs.

You entered the kitchen, making your mother turn around from the sink to take a quick look at you before coming back to the dishes. “Are you already going to sleep?” She asked, a curious tone on her voice.

“Yeah, but I wanted to grab a few cookies first, is that okay?” You inquired, already opening the cabinet above her head to grab a big plate.

“Just a few, remember they’re for everyone.” She warned, and you hummed in response, knowing that you were going to grab more than just a few.

The room fell silent for a moment, you heard the water running and your dragging feet making their way to the cookies on the counter before she raised her voice again. “Are they for you and Yoongi?”

You hummed again “Yes, just a few, I promise.” You said, grabbing what it seemed to be a whole batch of cookies to put on the plate.

You tried to be quick, putting an extra cookie for the road between your teeth and turning around to escape from your mother before she could see you and scold you for stealing way too many cookies. Trying not to make any noise, as if that could make you invisible, you made your way towards the door to escape, but when you thought you were about to succeed, you heard the nickname your mom used for you from the corner of the room, stopping you in your tracks.

“Wait, darling.” You heard her tone of voice, surprised that it wasn’t annoyed, but rather motherly.

You turned around slowly with your guard up, as if in that way she wouldn’t notice the cookie between your teeth. You took it out of your mouth, hiding it behind your back.

“Yes?” You answered, remaining calm. You would not give yourself away when you already made this far.

She closed the faucet, turning around to face you. Her eyes fell upon you, offering you an apologetic smile, which was weird, it was the kind of smile she gave you when she knew she was about to upset you. It wasn’t the kind of face someone who was about to scold you would make, she looked hesitant, almost worried.

“I wanted to-... I mean, I wanted to ask you about something.” She said, stumbling with her own words. Her eyes were not focused on the plate on your hands, not even in your face completely, like she was trying to avoid your eyes. You felt a rush of nervousness running down your body and quickly dissipating, you didn’t know why.

“About what?” You inquired, wiping the crumbs from your mouth.

She sighed, playing with the towel in her hands to keep her hands busy. “I know you don’t want me to be all over your business, and I’m aware you are not a teenager anymore, but I can’t help worrying a little bit.” She explained, or at least she tried.

You frowned, more confused than ever. The conversation seemed to be taking a completely different path than you thought five seconds ago.

“What do you mean, mom?” You said, taking a step forward, what did this have to do with the cookies?

Your mom pursed her lips, hesitating for a microsecond until the words finally came out of her mouth. “You are already a woman, darling, so I wanted to know if you are… cautious.” She pronounced, making emphasis on the last word and letting it sink in the air, but you still didn’t understand what she was talking about.

“Cautious with what?” You must've looked like a total fool, asking once again what she meant, but your mother seemed to want you to understand without having to explain.

She shifted in her place and you saw a flash of embarrassment in her eyes, but it quickly disappeared. “With Yoongi, I mean.” She said, making the name resonate in your ears “I know you’re both adults and you can do whatever you want, but I wanted to make sure that you are using protection.”

The realization fell upon you like a ton of bricks, each word she uttered felt like a different punch to your stomach. You opened your eyes widely, almost choking with your own spit. “What? No, mom-” You wanted to interrupt her, but she was quick to talk over you.

“I just want to make sure!” She said like she was apologizing “I don’t mean to be invasive, but it’s important to me that you’re being safe.”

You winced, feeling your face burning as you began stuttering “Me and Yoongi…-We are not, I mean-”

“Honey,” She stopped you, looking at you like she was a sex education teacher trying to explain why you should use protection. “I was not born yesterday, I see things happening, and believe me, I have no problem with you sharing a room, but I can’t help but ask.”

You were left completely speechless, and her constant interruptions while you were trying to finish a sentence were not helping. You racked your brain to find a logical explanation, but you were incapable of forming a decent sentence when she was looking at you like she was a doctor. The fact that your mother thought that you and Yoongi were having sex made your stomach squirm, and how she stated that it was obvious left your head spinning. Did she see you today in that closet and immediately assumed you were… fucking? God, that sounded so bad, so incredibly embarrassing. You still felt yourself blushing when you thought about that moment, you couldn’t even fathom the idea of seeing him without a shirt, less alone having sex with him.

“Mom, please. You don’t have to worry, really.” You tried to explain, but that was not enough to leave your mother content, by the look on her face you knew she didn’t believe you one bit.

“I know I don’t have to worry!” She defended herself “Yoongi is a great boy, and I trust you… But you know, if things get a bit too frisky...”

You closed your eyes shut, trying not to picture that in your mind, “God, mom, don’t use that word!”

“Sorry! I mean… You know what I mean! I hope you’re using protection, no matter the circumstances.”

You took a deep breath, ninety percent sure you were about to die of embarrassment, but with your last breath you made sure to be clear with your mom so tonight she would sleep peacefully “Believe me, mom. You don’t have to worry, nothing happened between Yoongi and me, I mean it.”

You could see it in her eyes, she was not convinced, and she was right to be so. That was a lie, and she knew it. What happened today was not “nothing”, and your mother knowing that only made your cheeks burn.

“Fine.” She said, struggling to let the conversation go “But if something does happen… Be safe, okay?”

You nodded repeatedly, trying to end the conversation as soon as possible. “Yes, of course.” You promised, but the idea of that ever happening sent a chill down your spine, you tried to shake that thought as far away as you possibly could.

Your mom smiled and you took it as your cue to go. You tried to walk away, but before you reached the door, she spoke again.

“And darling?” She said, making you turn around to see her. “I know you don’t like coming here without your brother, so thank you for coming anyway.”

“It’s fine, mom.” You said, and it was true. “At least Yoongi made up for it.”

She smirked, suppressing a laugh. “Oh, I’m sure.”

You rolled your eyes, in disbelief. “Yup, I’m going now, goodnight!” You said, finally escaping from the conversation. You heard your mom’s laugh in the distance as you closed the door behind you to run upstairs.

Present

When you visited Simon’s apartment for the first time you could clearly notice it was a boy’s apartment from the lack of decoration, the lack of food in the fridge and the amount of boxes still unpacked weeks after moving in, but after you entered through the door tonight you saw a completely different version of it. It was a part of him that you missed out when you were gone, now there were plants on the living room and traces of Florence all over the place, like her purple slippers on the door and the purple toothbrush on the bathroom, her scrunchies on the entryway table and the framed picture of her beside them. You found it endearing, it was like a secret world made just for the two of them, a proper home.

“When is Florence coming back?” You asked, leaving your bag on the couch.

Simon took off his shoes, wandering through his house as he turned all the lights on “On Monday.” He replied.

You made a mental note to leave on Monday, even if Simon repeated a thousand times that it was okay for you to stay there on the way here, you didn’t want to intrude in his life. Instead you decided it would be easier to intrude in Minnie’s life, who’s apartment was big enough for the two of you, the only person she shared her apartment with was not an actual person, it was just her orange cat.

“I was supposed to go with her.” Your brother kept talking “But me and Yoongi are behind on some work and I had to stay… Well, I’m the one who’s behind, really. Yoongi is just helping me.”

You did not forget that Simon and Yoongi worked together at the same law firm downtown ever since they graduated. You knew that Yoongi got the job as soon as he graduated and then he was followed by your brother, after years it was still impossible to keep them apart, which had become a problem for you.

You nodded but didn’t say anything about it, you reasoned that Yoongi was still working before arriving at your house, that explained the clothes, the shoes and the messy hair. You sighed just by thinking about it, at least dinner was over, at least your first encounter with Yoongi after four years wasn’t the worst thing that happened tonight.

It was impossible, but you tried not to think about it too much. Yoongi’s presence was some kind of collateral effect that came with your life, it was too late to detach him from it, but you still tried to run away from it for years and years, only to come back and still find him here, talking to you like nothing ever happened, like you were still friends.

Yoongi and you were always on different stages of your life, on different places, on different paths, but you seemed to agree on one thing: keep everything secret, no one needed to know what happened between the two of you, that was why Simon was always talking about Yoongi when you called him, that was why he couldn’t stop talking about it him now, he didn’t realize that you didn’t want to know anything about his best friend, you could never told him why.

You followed your brother to his guest room as he talked and talked about how smart Yoongi was and how he was capable of taking so many different cases and not dying in the process, how nice it was to work with his best friend and blablabla. You swore that if you heard the name one more time you would explode, so you decided to drastically change the subject of the conversation, you were willing to say anything to take his name out of your brother’s mouth. It took a second, but when the room fell silent, you looked at your feet, a bit unsure, gathering enough courage to finally say what you’ve been meaning to tell him since you arrived home.

“I’m sorry for not telling you about the proposal.” You softly spoke, and Simon, who was looking for a blanket in the closet in the corner of the room, turned his head to look at you. “I wanted to tell you in person, but I wasn’t planning for that article to come out, I didn’t want the whole world to know.”

Simon left the blanket on the bed, turning his body to look at you more clearly. “Mom told me that you think Ian leaked the news” He mentioned, and you nodded, at the risk of looking crazy.

“Sally suggested it.” You confirmed, sitting on the bed “And if he didn’t, he’s fine with it anyway. He doesn’t care if people see me as this bitch who broke his heart, I might as well be.”

He looked at the wall behind you, confused. “I think I missed a chapter here.” He said, sitting on the edge of the bed “Maybe more than one. Weren’t you in love with him?”

You wanted to grab a pillow, bury your face on it and scream as loud as you could, but for the sake of looking like a sane person you contained yourself. “I thought I was.” You said sincerely. you believed there was a time when you were sure you were in love with Ian, there were moments you thought that the good things about him could outweigh the bad things, but deep down you knew that if you were really in love you wouldn’t have to do all that math, you wouldn’t have to fight to ignore his arrogance and his big ego.

“And when did you realize that you weren’t?” He continued to ask “Or when did you realize he was a jerk?”

You scoffed, bitterly. “I guess I always knew both, I tried to make it work regardless. I enjoyed being with him for some time, but then he planned an engagement party full of people I didn’t even know. He didn’t care to call any of you and expected me to say yes… Does that say more about him or me?”

He kept quiet, not knowing what to say, but you already knew the answer.

“Ian was an asshole, kid. He was jealous of you, of your family, of your job, none of us understood why you were with him.”

“That was not what I asked.” You laughed, rolling your eyes. “Ian was a prick, I get it, but I wasn’t much better either.”

“You can’t make me think you deserve each other, are you kidding?” He said.

“I can’t blame him for everything, I made my own bed.” You huffed “I was terrible and it took me almost four years to snap out of it, that was not his fault.”

“You are right, but you’re here now, aren’t you?” He reminded you, calmly. “Isn’t that what’s important?”

You began to become exasperated “C’mon, Simon, don’t try to be nice, you’re supposed to be mad at me.”

“I am mad at you.” He corrected you, sending a chill down your spine “You’re working all the time, you never call, never text back, we barely see you and the only way to know about your life is when we read some article saying you broke up with your boyfriend because he proposed to you, are you kidding? Of course I am mad, but because I miss you.”

You felt a wave of regret hitting all your senses, suddenly your eyes were burning with tears and you are not supposed to cry, you knew that, but the single tear that slid down your cheek was quicker than any thought that could cross your mind. Somehow, you wished your family hadn't noticed how absent you'd been these past few years, that they just shrugged and said “that’s just her” and forgot about it, it was not necessary to look at Simon’s face to know that he couldn’t just forget about it. He loved you, your mother loved you too, you didn’t have a family that you would want to run away from, but you did it anyway,

“I’m sorry…” You murmured, looking at him with eyes full of regret. “It wasn’t you, it wasn’t any of you, it was me. I was so angry when I left, I didn’t know how to handle it.”

You wouldn’t trade your career for anything, it was one of those few things that made you happy, but after years of trying to convince yourself that every decision you made for the last few years was the right choice, this was the first time that you admitted that maybe you weren’t thinking clearly when you decided to move to the city and never look back.

Simon frowned, thinking about it twice before asking “Were you angry, bug?”

You tilted your head, giving him a sad smile, hoping that it could explain everything.”I was quite angry, yes.” You answered “Not at you, though.”

“At mom?”

“Maybe a little bit at mom, yeah.” You laughed, shaking your head. You sighed deeply, letting the silence sit in the room for a moment before you could put in order all the things you wanted to say. “I remember when I told her I left college she looked at me like I finally lost my mind, it was like she saw it coming, you know? Me, again, being lost, it was not a surprise, but rather something she would expect of me. I know she was just worried and I know I can be a lot sometimes, but it hurt anyway. I don't blame anyone, Simon, but all I needed was someone to believe in me and no one did. I had to leave.” Something ached inside your chest because that was not the whole truth, but it was all you could say tonight, you couldn’t say that Yoongi was also one of the reasons. “I’m not trying to justify myself.” You mumbled “I’m just saying that I was so angry that I didn’t realize how many mistakes I made.”

The silence that took over the room was so strong it made your stomach squirm. You shifted in your place, but Simon stayed there, with his gaze lost somewhere in the room as he processed what you just said.

“I always believed in you, you know that?” He spoke, causing your head to snap up towards him. “I know a lot of people tried to tell you that you weren’t, but you’ve always been special and I’ve always seen it.”

“I know you did.” You sighed. “But I was being so stubborn, I walked away and I’m so sorry.”

“I know you think you’re too much, but you’re not.” He continued talking “Maybe mom just wanted everything to be simple, for her kids to go to college, graduate, get a job and a home and never have to worry about whether they are choosing right or wrong ever again. But you’re not simple, bug, you’re extraordinary and talented and too brilliant to stay still, but you’re not too much, not for me.”

You held back a sob, feeling ridiculous. “I’m sorry.” You said, once again, because you haven’t said it enough times.

“It’s okay now, I mean it.” Simon reached for your hand to squeeze it tightly.

You sniffed “God, I should be comforting you for being a bad sister, not the other way around”

“I don’t need to be comforted, I’m okay as long as you’re here.” He tried to cheer you up. “And you were not a bad sister, you were sad and acted shitty.”

You smiled, because you told Simon that you were angry but instead he heard that you were sad, you didn’t feel like correcting him because he wasn’t so wrong about that.

“I’m sorry.” You repeated once again like a scratched record, making him laugh. “Are you still mad at me?”

“No.” he replied, “But only if you promise not to disappear again.”

You raised your hand, extending your pinky finger in front of his face. “I promise you, Simon, I will not disappear again.”

Simon tangled his pinky with yours, making your promise impossible to be broken, and your soul felt at ease for a moment.

“Fine, good enough for me.” he said, throwing himself back onto the bed. “Now I want to hear everything about the proposal, and I want you to describe to me exactly the face he made when you said no.”

You laughed, throwing yourself on the bed the same way he did and tried to summarize the last three years in just one night. Only for today, your body did you a favor and your head stopped spinning at least for now. Something began to feel right.

Four years ago

Seven days before New Year’s Eve

You could hear the radio at the end of the hallway in your grandmother’s room, softly playing jazz to cancel out the outside noise. Not everyone in the house liked the radio, your cousins always said that it was annoying and kept them awake, but it was still one of those old habits of your grandfather that remained in the house even if he was no longer here, so you liked it. The music inevitably seeped under the door of your room, Yoongi hummed some Frank Sinatra song as if he knew the lyrics to it, making you laugh and beg him to stop.

You know it’s almost midnight, as your roommate just informed you, but you didn’t want to turn the lights off yet. All of the cookies already disappeared from the plate, Yoongi was laying on his side the same way you were and the lamp on the nightstand warmly lighted up his brown eyes, you couldn’t help but feel you were not supposed to be in such presence, his messy hair and the loose white shirt he wore to sleep, his sleepy eyes, his pink lips; it looked just like the kind of view that was bound to haunt you forever.

The nightstand that separated you was not far enough to stop that pull from the string in your chest, not when he was looking at you like that, his gaze fixated on yours like he didn’t want to leave you awake alone, and neither did you. You felt yourself shaking because, what was the version of you that existed when you were asleep? And what happened inside his head when you were not there? What was happening inside his head right now?

Did you cross his mind the same way he crossed yours? When you finally fell asleep, would he remember that moment in the closet or would it be just water under the bridge? Did he spend every waking second of the last seven hours thinking of that fleeting moment when you could almost feel his lips on yours?

Or was that just you?

The night was fading away, your eyelids were getting heavy but you still couldn’t find the will to sleep.

“I’m sorry for today.” You almost whispered, gathering enough courage to mention the little accident “I’m sorry for dragging you with me to the closet.”

He smiled softly, closing his eyes for a second. “It’s okay, it was cozy.” He teased you, making you groan in annoyance. He laughed loudly at your reaction, annoying you even more. “I’m serious, it was okay.”

“Was it really?” You asked him “Wasn’t I being silly?”

“It's okay being silly sometimes.” He assured you, but that did not ease that anxious feeling in your stomach. He seemed to see it in your face. “What’s wrong with being a little silly? I would’ve run from your grandmother, too.”

You bitterly laughed, covering your face with the palms of your hands “Stop, I’m being immature.” You groaned “I’ve got to get my shit together.”

“C’mon Pinky, you have to stop with that.” He said.

“I would if I could.” You remarked.

“Didn’t you say you were going to get your shit together after the holidays?” He reminded you “Why are you worrying right now?”

Yoongi was right, that was the initial plan, but ever since you came back home everything was pointing in different directions and it was beginning to drive you crazy, it was like the universe was forcing you to think about it, it was not letting you run away from it, not even temporarily. First, it was Yoongi, showing up every few days at your doorstep, grabbing your hand, squeezing your legs, whispering things in your ear like he wanted you to go insane, it was Minnie, offering you a job, talking about The Alley, saying you were supposed to be on the big screen, and then it was your mother, expecting you to make up your mind once for all. And still, you had your whole life ahead, why were you worrying right now?

“I don’t know…” You sighed “What if I come back next year and the plan was not good enough? What if I end up hiding again from everyone?”

Yoongi shifted in bed, curious “Do you have a plan, Pinky?” The nickname rolled off his tongue softly, you swimmed in the tenderness of his voice, something about it made you want to tell him everything.

“Not really, I mean… It all sounds so bad.”

“You have a plan.” He affirmed, smiling “I want to hear it.”

“It’s not a plan.” You contradicted yourself “If it were a plan, it would suck.”

Yoongi hummed “It’s something like a plan, then.”

You scrunched your nose, unsure. “Yeah, but not quite like a plan, something like a…” You said, but the words died on your lips before you got the chance to finish.

“Something like a dream, then?” He continued to ask, but you shook your head.

“Something close.” You expressed, unable to find the right words to explain your thoughts. You stayed silent for a second, believing he was beginning to lose interest in the topic, until the words slipped past his lips like a spell.

“Something like a wish.” He pronounced, and he was not asking, it was almost like he knew.

You thought there was not much difference between a dream and a wish, but in this case, there was.

You smiled at him, nodding, somehow you felt you could trust him with all your secrets “Yes, like a wish.” You affirmed, and it felt like a confession. “I don’t know Yoongi, have you ever stayed up late and planned something but when you woke up next morning you felt it was stupid? Well, I do that every night.”

“I’m sure that whatever it is, it’s not stupid.” He said, making your heart swell.

“I would like to believe you…” You murmured “Do you have a dream, Yoongi? Something you’re too scared to wish for?”

You could see him think about it for a moment, but his eyes were still connected with yours. Oh, how you wished to be inside his mind right now, read his thoughts, witness his dreams, know all his secrets.

“Yes.” He confirmed, “But I can’t talk about them out loud right now.”

You laughed, biting your bottom lip. “Okay, fair. What about those you can say out loud?”

“I’m not going to tell you because you’re going to laugh.” He pouted, making you frown.

“Laugh?” You repeated, sounding more offended than you actually were. “I would never, c’mon.”

He raised an eyebrow, testing you “You sure?”

“Of course, don’t piss me off.”

“Fine, fine.” He let out a long sigh, believing you. “My wish would be… to stop time for a while. Sometimes I believe I can’t think when time’s running, all I do is study and come home to my mom, there is very little time that I have for myself.”

You felt your chest tighten, but it didn't surprise you that Yoongi felt this way. He already mentioned to you that, even if taking care of his mother didn’t feel like a burden, he still felt he was missing out on so many things.

“And what would you do if time stopped right now?”

Yoongi shifted his eyes for a moment, and you almost missed it but you saw it, the urge to hold back and the words getting stuck on his throat.

“Mmm…” He hummed, “I’ll go to the beach.”

“In winter?”

“Yes, I wouldn’t care.”

“And where else?” You continued to ask.

“Honestly? I’ll go anywhere but home.” He confessed.

“What’s wrong with home?” You of all people knew exactly what was wrong with home, but you wanted to hear why he thought that.

“Home it’s okay,” He waved off. “It just feels like I spent my whole life there. I went to college expecting something to change, and a lot of things did but I still feel like something else is supposed to happen, like there's something else for me to see.”

It was looking in a mirror, it was the same thing you’ve told him a few days ago but in other words, in another tone. Yoongi sounded resigned, like his wish was clearly something that was not meant to happen and he needed to come to terms with it, nothing could ever make you more sad.

“There’s plenty for you to see, Yoongi, are you kidding?” You chuckled “You’re twenty five, you’re barely grasping life.”

He scoffed, bitterly, “It’s not that easy.”

“Of course it is easy, do you know it’s not necessary to stop time to go to the beach?”

“I know, Pinky.” He agreed, “But what does it feel like running away?”

“Running away would be so bad?” You asked, hearing the question echoing in the room, letting you know that maybe it was something you weren’t supposed to wonder out loud. Yoongi didn’t dare to ask such a question, but you seemed determined to make his wish come true, maybe you were the only one who could do it.

“Don’t ask me.” He said, looking at the ceiling to avoid your gaze. “Don’t act like running away isn’t your wish as well”

You snorted, immediately grabbing a pillow and threatening to punch him in the face with it, but Yoongi is quick to cover his face with his arms.

“Don’t!” He protested, laughing.

“Don’t expose me like that!” You whined, embarrassed.

“What, am I wrong?”

“Maybe you’re not…” You dared to answer, leaving the pillow on the bed again “But how do you know?”

“I told you, Pinky.” He murmured “I just know.”

You shook your head in denial, how could it be? Were you really that transparent or Yoongi really just knew?

“What else do you know?” You continued to ask, curious.

He pretended to think about it, pouting his lips and looking at the ceiling as if the answers were to fall from the sky. His eyes shifted towards yours, tilting his head “I know that you would run away to the beach with me if I asked you to.”

A giggle was built in your throat, you laughed nervously as you tried to decipher if he was joking or not, even if Yoongi could see right through you, it was a bit difficult for you to do the same with him.

“I don’t know about that.” You said, ignoring the way your heart was beating against your ribcage. “Do you mean in… an hypothetical scenario?”

“It’s a hypothetical proposal.” He answered.

“I’ll have to check my schedule first.”

A smirk tugged from the corner of his lips. “What about… two weeks away from now?”

You did the calculation in your head, but you already knew that by then Yoongi would have to go back to class, so you doubted. “What about the semester?” You asked, trying to be the voice of reason. “Your last semester, might I add.”

“That could wait.” He did not hesitate “Isn’t it part of running away? Leaving things behind?”

You laughed “And what would people say about me, then? That I made you leave college, nuh-hu.”

“Here we go again with that.” He rolled his eyes “I don’t care what people say and, besides, I’m not leaving college, I’m… postponing it.”

That didn’t sound like the Yoongi you knew at all, but then again, this whole conversation didn’t sound like anything Yoongi from the past would say. A thousand questions crossed your mind, like what do you do on the beach in winter? Wouldn’t being alone be a problem? What are you going to talk about, where are you going to stay? If you say yes, would he grab your hand when you crossed the street, would he try to kiss you again?

You crossed your arms, thinking about it, not daring to agree right away, but how could you say no? When he was looking at you, convinced that you would say yes.

You opened your mouth, not sure what you were going to say but still ready to answer, and before you could utter a word, he interrupted you. “Run away with me to the beach, Pinky.” He asked in a soft tone, looking at you with warm eyes and warm words, making your heart shake violently in your chest “Only for now, I promise I’ll make it worth it.”

You smiled, ignoring that little person inside you that tried to warn you about something, but you weren’t sure about what because all you could feel was your heart racing. “Fine, I’ll follow you for now.” You simply said, trying to sound as cool as possible “Let’s run.”

In that moment you forgot about years and years of disappointment and failed dreams, failed wishes, you ignored the reality, deciding everything was false and true at the same time. You didn’t need to look at the clock to know that it was midnight, something inside your chest sparkled and told you it was time to make your wish, and for some reason, you listened. It echoed in every corner of your mind, your wish was the beach in winter.

Four days before New Year’s Eve

Two weeks ago, when you bought Yoongi’s Christmas gift, you thought about it like a farewell. You stood in the shop and talked to the tall man with the long face and chose the gift as you tried to convince yourself this was a way of saying goodbye to him.

That Christmas morning Yoongi tore the brown wrapping paper and opened the long box to find that you decided to give him a red tie. It wasn’t bright red, it was deep dark red, red like a rose. It came with a notebook and a pen with his initials on them. In your mind, you were giving away that version of him that lived in your head and clung to your thoughts and clung to your heart, that version of him you could never let go. Yoongi was about to graduate, he was about to become officially a lawyer, an adult, a man, he wasn’t that boy you fell in love with years ago, he was a wish you had to let in the past and your gift was just a way to remind you of it. You had a purpose, a plan, you had everything figured out until he decided to ask you to run away with him, until you said yes.

His gifts for you were a vinyl copy of Is This It by The Strokes, two tickets to watch When Harry Met Sally at the Alley the following week and a pair of red gloves for the rest of the winter.

Yoongi looked at you and smiled like you both knew something everyone else in the room didn’t. “The gloves match with the tie.” He had said.

So now you had no plan, what you did have though, was a bunch of pictures of several locations Yoongi thought of booking for your trip to the beach. You were doomed.

You thought the only person in this town who could possibly understand what you were going through was Minnie, the only person in the world who knew about your feelings for Yoongi, and the only person who you could call a friend at the moment.

You weren’t expecting to see Minnie again when you saw her at The Alley a few weeks ago, but she had different plans; it was like she forced you to be her friend again. You tried to stop thinking you didn’t deserve it, you had to swallow your guilt and accept her friendship, and after a few five hour calls filled with gossip, you ultimately decided not to be against it, even if she called you everyday and still talked nonstop about that audition in the city, talking with her felt like you were still fifteen, and you liked it.

That night, as she raided her closet looking for a dress for you to wear at the New Year’s party at The Alley, you sat on her bed and gave her a run down of everything that happened with Yoongi since you came back home, it didn’t take her much to get you to admit that you were still in love with your brother’s best friend, so you might as well be honest and tell her everything.

“You’re being stupid right now, sweetheart.” You heard her muffled voice from inside her closet. The next thing you saw was a piece of fabric flying in the air and landing at your feet. You grabbed it, putting in front of you to reveal a short pink dress that you would never, ever wear.

You snorted, leaving the dress on the pile of clothes that you already rejected. You seemed to forget that Minnie was not the most adequate person to talk about “boy stuff”, perhaps because she was way too honest. You didn’t know whether it was a mistake or not to tell her about the trip to the beach, because all the questions she was asking and all the things she was stating to be true were thoughts you were desperately trying to avoid.

“He wants to fuck you, I don’t know how else to tell you this.” She said, walking over the clothes to make her way to you. You threw yourself on the bed, covering your face with your palms “I mean, I wish I could only tell you that he’s head over heels for you, and honey, that he is, but he also wants to fuck you.”

You groaned, kicking your feet. “God, you make me want to throw up.”

“Of excitement, I’m assuming.” She affirmed “I’m telling you, there’s no way you’re going on a trip alone and come back without having fucked.”

You looked at her, begging her to stop talking, but she was not finished. “Stop!”

“Picture this.” She ignored you, forming a rectangle with her fingers and looking right through it as if she was directing a scene from a movie “First scenario, a storm causes the power to go out, there’s no electricity, you have no way to be warm so you sleep in the same bed to warm up, there’s tension, you look at each other and kiss, you fuck.”

“Okay, I don’t see that happening.” You shook your head.

“Second scenario, you just finished showering, you go out of the bathroom wearing only a towel because you think he’s not there, but he is! He sees you, you kiss, you fuck.”

“That’s not… That sounds like porn.”

“Third scenario!” She exclaimed.

“Fine, that’s enough.” You stopped her, waving your arms in the air.

“No, you have to prepare! And when it happens you will know that I was right.” Your friend insisted, but you refused to let any of those ideas in your mind.

“What if you’re not?” You wondered “What if he just wants to be my friend and I’m just imagining everything?”

“But you are not, are you kidding?” She laughed “That man is clearly in love with you, why are you convincing yourself otherwise?”

You felt Minnie’s body sitting right next to you, causing you to sit back on the bed to look at her face to face. You were sure you were about to start crying out of frustration. “I don’t know, what if I get hurt?”

Minnie pursed her lips “Baby, I can’t answer that question at all, but you have to take the chance.”

You groaned, annoyed. “I don’t want to take the chance.” You whined “I was fine before seeing him again, I wasn’t even thinking of him.”

“That is a lie,” She laughed, mocking you. “We both know you never stopped being in love with him, now you have him in the palm of your hand, do something.”

Minnie stood up again, looking for another piece of clothing on the floor as you kept silent, wondering if any of that could be possible. Did you really have him in the palm of your hand? Was he in love with you and you were being stupid for believing that he wanted to be just friends?

“What should I do?” You asked her, hoping that the redhead in the room knew all the secrets of the universe.

“Invite him to the New Year’s party and wear a hot outfit, how about that?” Minnie offered, like that could answer all your prayers.

“Would that resolve all my problems?” You joked, talking to the sky.

“C’mon, he literally asked you to run away with him, don’t you find that a little bit hot? Don’t you really think that was not code for ‘I want to fuck you’?”

You laughed “Yoongi is not like that!” You protested.

“I hate to break it to you, but you are hot.” She insisted, throwing another piece of clothing at your face. “And if Yoongi is not blind, he knows that, and let’s not forget the most important fact here.”

“Which is…?”

“He’s in love with you, let’s start wrapping our heads around that.” She simply said “Once that’s done, you invite him to the New Year’s eve party at The Alley, you wear a hot outfit and confront him about it, tell him to stop playing around.”

You grabbed the dress Minnie just threw at you, which was another short dress, but this one was actually cute. It was black and was covered in black sparkly sequins with thin straps, you were definitely going to freeze to death if you wore that, but you were sure this fitted the description of “hot outfit”.

Minnie was right, you couldn’t keep running away from the facts, everything was laid on the table, you didn’t need more proof to know that Yoongi felt something for you, even if you weren’t sure if it was the same that you felt for him, you needed to gather enough courage to find out what it was.

You grabbed the phone in your pocket and opened Yoongi’s chat, you decided to invite him to the New Year’s party.

taglist: @kingofbodyrolls @overtherainbow35 @namin13 @p34rluv @moonchild1 @yoongisoftface @namgihours @idkjustlovingbts @yoongisducky @bangtansmauyeondan @tarahardcore @wobblewobble822 @secfir @ot72025 @baechugff @heroinanne @mortal-body-timelesssoul @hiii-priestess @wii-wii @jungkookies1002 @busanbby-jjk @acquiescence804 @yoongibaybee @hsbongwater

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rmadridcore · 7 months ago

Text

Between Us - Part 2

Pairing: Kylian Mbappé x Reader

Summary: You and Kylian have been inseparable friends for years, but when unspoken feelings bubble to the surface, everything changes.

Word Count: 3.1K

Part 1 Part 3 Epilogue

Masterlist

Author's note: I was thinking to post this today after the game but Real Madrid most likely won’t give us anything to be happy about lmao so here it is 😭 Thank you so so much to everyone who read the first part, I'm so glad you enjoyed it 🥹 Let me know what you think about this one. All the love 💕🎀 - Ellie.

Mornings used to be your favorite time when you were a kid. Waking up always meant you’d soon be seeing Kylian. You two would meet right before school and walk there together every morning, no matter the weather. While dreary Parisian Mondays weren’t particularly fun for a child, for you, they always meant another day spent with him.

But now, mornings weren’t the same. They were quiet, lonely even. You woke up alone, the excitement of seeing Kylian long gone, replaced by the daily grind of adulthood.

After getting out of bed, you stuck to your usual routine: skincare, coffee, jog. It had become your ritual, a way to fill the silence.

After slipping into your workout clothes and putting on your favorite playlist, you headed to the nearby park for a morning run. Usually, the steady rhythm of your feet hitting the pavement and the rush of fresh air helped clear your mind. But not today. Today, Kylian lingered in your thoughts, as he often did. It had been a week since that night at the gala, and the memory of nearly confessing your feelings for him still haunted you. But, like always, you had pulled yourself back at the last moment, the familiar self-control overpowering your desire.

Jogging normally helped push away intrusive thoughts, the early-morning energy a distraction from whatever was troubling you. But Kylian was different. Thoughts of him stuck like glue, impossible to shake. He had that kind of grip on people. Once you knew him, truly knew him, it was impossible not to crave his presence. He was magnetic, and the thought of losing him was unbearable. And, of course, for you, it was worse. You were in love with him — hopelessly, endlessly, in love with your best friend.

Without realizing it, you had started running faster, pushing yourself harder, as though you could outrun your feelings. Your lungs burned, and you finally stopped, collapsing onto a nearby bench, gasping for air. Sweat dripped down your forehead, your breath coming in ragged bursts. As you tried to steady yourself, you felt someone approach.

“I have to admit, I was hoping to bump into you somewhere,” a voice said, slightly breathless.

You looked up, still catching your breath. “Louis,” you smiled, surprised to see him. “Good to see you, too.”

He smiled warmly, pulling out his earphones. “I jog here almost every morning and I’ve never seen you around.”

“I used to come more often,” you explained, still breathing heavily. “Work’s been crazy lately.”

“Well, I’m glad you took the time today,” he said, and the two of you began walking together.

The conversation flowed easily, just like it had at the gala. Louis was a great conversationalist. Smooth, engaging, and polite. He knew how to ask the right questions and keep things moving without any awkward pauses, which you appreciated, since that was never your strong suit. His energy was light and refreshing, and for a brief moment, you managed to forget about Kylian.

After about 15 minutes of walking and talking, Louis’ phone rang. He glanced at the screen and then at you with a soft smile. “Looks like I have to get to work.”

As you both prepared to part ways, Louis hesitated, then asked, “Y/N, could I get your number? I’d love to meet up again with you.”

You froze for a moment, unsure. Kylian always seemed to loom over any chance you had at starting something new. How could you invest in someone else when your heart belonged so completely to him? Even when Kylian wasn’t making an effort, no one could ever make you feel what he did.

But maybe now was the time to start. Maybe Louis wasn’t the one, but at least he was a step in the right direction. You needed to try and move on. To reclaim your life, free from Kylian’s unintentional hold.

“Sure,” you said with a smile, giving Louis your number. He looked genuinely pleased, promising to text you later.

The rest of the day passed in a blur of normalcy. Work was smooth, uneventful even. Your thoughts had finally calmed down, and for the first time in a while, your mind wasn’t consumed by the ever-present tangle of emotions surrounding Kylian.

While out on your lunch break, your phone lit up with a notification:

Hey :) It’s Louis. How about dinner tonight?

You smiled at the cheeky smiley face and responded.

Dinner sounds great.

“I see that smile,” your coworker Gabriella teased, raising an eyebrow.

You chuckled. “Just a date.”

“With who?” Gabriella leaned in, curious.

You told her about Louis and the brief encounter at the gala, downplaying it but also feeling a small spark of excitement. Gabriella seemed more excited for you than you were, but you were looking forward to the evening.

By 6:45, you were finishing your hair. Your waves were soft and effortless, perfectly complementing the pale pink dress you had picked out. Minimal makeup highlighted your best features, and as you looked in the mirror, you felt a strange sense of pride. You looked beautiful, and it felt good to dress up for someone new.

With Kylian, you never had to put in any effort. He had seen you at your best and worst, from glamorous outfits to messy sweatpants. To him, you were always beautiful, and for that, you were grateful. But tonight felt different. With Louis, it was a chance to present your best self.

Sitting on the couch, you checked the time. 6:58. Louis would be here any minute. Your phone buzzed, and your heart skipped for a second, expecting a text from him. But it wasn’t Louis.

It was Kylian.

Wanna come over? I’m off early today.

Of course. Of all the nights, Kylian had to pick this one to invite you over. He always seemed to disrupt your plans, whether you liked it or not. If you rejected men for him, he’d show up. If you agreed to go out with them, he’d still find a way to remind you of his presence.

But tonight wasn’t about him. It was about you. You weren’t going to let him get in the way this time. Quickly, you replied:

Sorry, got plans tonight.

His reply came almost instantly.

Work?

You hesitated for a moment, then decided there was no point in hiding it.

I’m going on a date.

For what felt like an eternity, you watched as the three dots appeared, then disappeared, then reappeared. Kylian typed and erased his response several times, before finally leaving you on read.

You rolled your eyes in frustration. What is his problem?

Before you could dwell on it further, Louis texted that he was outside. You grabbed your things, took a deep breath, and headed out.

The car ride was smooth and easy, filled with laughter and lighthearted conversation. You found yourself relaxing, enjoying Louis’ company. He was sweet, thoughtful, and charming, and it felt nice to be on a date with someone who genuinely wanted to get to know you.

At the restaurant, Louis asked about your interests, your work, your life. He listened intently, genuinely interested in everything you had to say. It was a refreshing change from the superficial dates you’d had in the past. Louis didn’t seem like the type to act superior or dismissive. He was kind, respectful, and smart. On paper, he was perfect.

But midway through dinner, your phone buzzed again. You excused yourself, thinking it might be work, but it wasn’t.

When you’re done with your date, come over. I’m so bored at home. We could watch something. Unless you’re planning to go home with him, of course.

You stared at Kylian’s message, your irritation boiling over. Of course, he had to insert himself into your night. It was as if he couldn’t stand the idea of you spending time with someone else. You tried to remain composed in front of Louis, but inside, you were fuming.

Ignoring the text, you put your phone away and refocused on your date. Louis deserved your attention, not Kylian.

The night continued smoothly, and by the time you were back in Louis’ car, you felt a genuine connection. He walked you to your door, smiling softly as he said, “I had a really great time. Let’s do this again soon.”

“I'd love to,” you replied, your smile warm and sincere.

Louis leaned in, placing a soft, respectful kiss on your cheek before waving goodbye.

As soon as he drove off, the irritation you had buried earlier resurfaced. Kylian’s text was still on your mind, and you couldn’t let it go.

Impulsively, you called an Uber and headed to his place, convincing yourself that you needed to confront him. You told yourself that this was about setting boundaries, but deep down, you knew it was more than that. You always went back to him.

When Kylian opened the door, his expression was unreadable. He let you in without a word, his gaze following you as you walked past him.

“I thought you weren’t coming tonight,” he muttered, switching off the video game that had been paused on his TV.

“Where did that text come from?” you asked, standing near the couch, arms crossed.

“What do you mean?” He looked away, clearly avoiding the real issue.

“You know exactly what I mean. You made it sound like I go home with a different guy every week. What was that about?” Your voice was sharp, the frustration bubbling to the surface.

Kylian shifted, clearly uncomfortable. “I didn’t mean it like that—”

“Then how did you mean it?” you cut him off. “You can spend your weekends with dozens of women, but I can’t go out on one date?” You sat down on the couch.

He stayed silent, knowing you had a point but unsure how to respond. Instead of continuing the argument, he sat down next to you, his head hanging slightly.

That’s when you realized — tonight was the first time Kylian hadn’t told you how beautiful you looked. He always did, whether it was necessary or not. But tonight, not a word.

As if reading your thoughts, he finally mumbled, “You look beautiful, by the way.”

His voice was quiet, almost unsure. He looked like a scolded child, his arms crossed, his lips slightly pouting.

“Who did you go on a date with?” he finally asked, his curiosity winning out.

“Louis. The guy from the charity gala.”

Kylian sighed, nodding. “Didn’t you say you thought those guys were all pretentious?”

You shrugged. “Louis is different. I like him.”

Kylian didn’t say anything, and instead, he got up and walked to the kitchen. He returned with your favorite snacks and some cookies, his way of apologizing without words.

“What should we watch tonight?” he asked, changing the subject, setting the snacks on the coffee table.

You sighed, the weight of everything pressing down on you. “You pick. I’m going to change.”

As you made your way to his closet, you found the clothes you had left there. It was all so familiar, so normal, and yet so wrong. You hated how comfortable you were in his space, knowing it was never going to be more than friendship.

You had tried over the years to keep your distance from him, to prevent yourself from getting too close. But Kylian never allowed it. He always kept you close. No matter what phase of life either of you were going through, he made an extraordinary effort to stay in touch, to never let your friendship fade. He never stopped being your best friend.

After removing your makeup and changing into sweats, you began searching for the soft, fuzzy socks you were sure you’d left here. Your feet were freezing, and only those socks were warm enough to keep you comfortable.

You checked every drawer in his closet, but found nothing. Moving into his bedroom, you opened the first drawer — still nothing. When you got to the second one, you realized it held his personal belongings: old football posters, the laces from his childhood boots, and a pinky ring his grandfather had given him when he turned sixteen. As you were about to close the drawer, something colorful caught your eye. A folded piece of paper that you instantly recognized. Carefully, you took it out and opened it, feeling your heart skip a beat. You couldn’t believe he had kept it.

It was the birthday card you made for him almost 20 years ago, back when you first went to his celebration. The card was adorably imperfect, with “Happy Birthday Kylian” written in messy six year old handwriting, random hearts and butterflies scattered all over the paper. You had drawn a little boy and girl holding hands as the boy blew out birthday candles, a clumsy but heartfelt depiction of you and Kylian as children.

Holding it in your hands, memories flooded your mind. The card brought back so much; your childhood, the simplicity of your bond back then, and the way things had slowly become more complicated over the years. You hadn’t even realized it, but tears were streaming down your face. The fact that this card, something you’d forgotten about, had meant enough to him that he’d kept it for two decades, it overwhelmed you.

You carefully placed the card back, closing the drawer as if it held a piece of your heart. Then, you hurried to the bathroom, splashing cold water on your face, trying to compose yourself. As you stared at your tear-streaked reflection, the realization hit you like a truck: you loved him more than you ever dared to admit, even to yourself. It wasn’t just a fleeting crush or the remnants of childhood affection. It was deeper, more profound, so overwhelming that it felt like your entire life had been shaped around Kylian, every choice you made somehow tied to him.

That silly little birthday card, with its messy hearts and clumsy drawings, had brought a flood of memories you hadn’t even realized you still held onto. It was more than just a card, it was a symbol of the bond you’d shared since you were children, a bond you had always cherished but never truly understood until now. And the fact that Kylian had kept it, hidden away with his most treasured belongings, meant something. You knew it did. But what? Was it just nostalgia for him, a reminder of simpler times? Or did it mean more? Did it mean he held onto you the way you held onto him — silently, helplessly, and maybe, just maybe, as something more than a friend?

You splashed more cold water on your face, willing the tears to stop, but they kept falling, silently, stubbornly. The weight of your emotions was too much, and it took everything in you to steady your breathing, to stop the sobs that threatened to spill over.

The truth was hard to face: you had tried for so long to keep your distance, to protect yourself from the inevitable heartache of loving someone who could never love you back. But Kylian never let you. He always kept you close, drawing you back in whenever you tried to pull away, as if he couldn’t bear to lose you either. And that only made it harder.

You wiped your face with a towel, the cold water calming your heated skin, but inside, your heart still raced. You were coming to terms with something that terrified you. The feelings you had for him, they weren’t going away. In fact, they seemed to grow stronger every day, no matter how hard you tried to suppress them.

Falling for someone else? That was going to be a monumental task. It wasn’t just about liking someone new; it was about unlearning Kylian. Unlearning the way his laugh made you feel like everything would be okay, unlearning the way his touch sent shivers down your spine. Unlearning the years of memories that were tied to him. And honestly, the thought of letting go of Kylian felt impossible. It scared you. It scared you because no matter who came into your life, Kylian was still the one. How could you fall for someone else when your heart had already chosen?

With a deep breath, you finally calmed yourself enough to leave the bathroom. You couldn’t let Kylian see you like this, not when you didn’t even have an explanation for why you were crying. And definitely not when you weren’t ready to confront these feelings, let alone share them. But even as you composed yourself, you couldn’t shake the feeling that something had shifted inside you. Something irreversible. You couldn’t hide from your emotions anymore. You loved him, and it was destroying you.

As you walked back to the living room, you saw Kylian still lounging on the couch, casually flipping through the channels, completely unaware of the emotional storm you had just weathered in his bathroom. His easy, carefree nature contrasted so painfully with the heaviness in your heart.

You grabbed your things quickly, not wanting to linger in the space where your feelings felt too raw, too exposed.

“Hey, are you okay? What took so long?” he asked, his brows furrowing with concern.

“I’m sorry, Kylian,” you managed to say, your voice shaky. “I have to go.”

His expression immediately shifted from casual concern to confusion. “What? What happened?”

You shook your head, avoiding his gaze. “I just… I need to go home.” Kylian stood up, clearly not understanding what had changed so suddenly. He reached out, as if to stop you, but then hesitated.

“Y/N, did I do something? If I upset you earlier—” You quickly shook your head. “No, Kylian, it’s not that. You didn’t do anything. I just need to go.” You kept your gaze fixed on the floor, afraid that if you looked at him, the tears would start again.

He stood there, silent, as you hurried to the door, your heart racing with each step. You could feel his eyes on you, the weight of his concern hanging heavy in the air. But you couldn’t explain, not now. Not when you didn’t even know how to make sense of it all yourself.

As you left, he offered to give you a ride, but you declined. He walked you to the door, watching as you climbed into the Uber. His gaze didn’t leave you until the car turned the corner.

That night, as you lay in bed, wide awake, the weight of your love for Kylian pressed down on you. It was suffocating. And no matter how hard you tried to move on, no one else would ever be him.

You wished, more than anything, that next time Cupid aimed his arrow, he’d hit you both.

#kylian mbappe #kylian mbappe x reader #kylian x reader #kylian mbappe fluff #kylian mbappe angst #kylian mbappe imagine #kylian imagines #kylian mbappe fanfic #kylian mbappe x you #kylian mbappe x y/n #football imagine #football player x reader #imagine #football fic

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thoughtsonkm · 9 months ago

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Jeju pt.1 in a nutshell

(more than that, I just love this pretty aesthetic shot)

The vibe was definitely different because logically two people (especially jm&jk) are gonna behave differently than a three person group. Just a matter of numbers, synergies and the need to deliver a specific product to the audience. Nonetheless it was so entertaining to me. I realize I kinda missed these three together sharing 2 braincells (1 for jimin and 1 for tae&jk). The first two episodes were so chill and they felt like they almost had a lowkey underground vibe as if they were in their own bubble away from everyone just living life in their little part of the world accompanied by a moody scene and dim lights while this episode was like a action packed manic episode, so bright so cheerful with childlike wonder. I'm glad they can still have fun together and always enjoy the moment.

Plus let's be honest jikook are gonna jikook no matter the place, time and people around.

Some of the funniest parts of the ep to me were: The contrast of Jimin yapping about Aewol and Tae&Jk eating like there's no tomorrow. The drive through ordeal. The perfect comedic scenario of Jimin chasing Tae to make him eat like it was the last thing he would do.

Favourite reaction meme/face of the day. The betrayal, the suspense, the drama.

LOOK at this little bean stopping and collecting Jimin's 1930 shoes and going after his shenanigans like the dependable banryeo he is 😭 (remember back in 2019 when jimin called jk that and everyone went crazy and rolled with it for MONTHS? Good times)

On another note it's actually very interesting how you can feel and see how in every second Jimin tries to be in control of the situation and always on top of everything, every angle and every concern. He also always looks so deep in thoughts during these episodes, it's like he's given himself the task to be the artist, entertainer, manager,producer and everything all at once in this show. I'm sure it also has to do with his own personality and being someone who looks at every minor detail, a perfectionist who tries to curate everyone and everything.

The way Jk's life flashed before his eyes when he saw blood on Jimin's lips ~ so fuckin cute

And after Jimin's lip incident happened, Jungkook could not stop licking his own lips for the rest of the episode and probably day, I see you

THAT scene was so thought inducing, so ao3 ff coded it was insane. Just Jk silently staring at a dazzling and sleeping jimin in the ground. 37292 scenarios could've been played and then.. just walked away to take a shower (⁠ ͡⁠°⁠ ͜⁠ʖ⁠ ͡⁠°⁠)

Not okay seriously! The concern, the adoration, the yearning.

Blaming Jk for his actions was never an option. LOOK AT HIM

I LOVE the constant little comedic improvs Jikook do together, they're so fun!! You can tell that it's part of their usual daily thing (it's actually smth i also do with my friends and it always gets hysterical)

The idea that they went on a private trip to Jeju in August and then went again for the show in September, fills me with joy. Love that they had the opportunity. Seems like they keep on going to the same locations twice, just so they can get that full experience with each other.

I kid you not, this is one of my top3 fav things they do together. JIMINSSIII - JUNGKOOKSSIII

The editing being almost backwards and all over the place really is a little off-putting sometimes, jarring even. Not keeping events in a chronological order is sus on it's own, like they're scraping for footage at this point..

And yes it is also kinda bothering me that it's been years and years of content creation and they still can't do a good job at translating and coordinating what everyone says, is it really that hard? is it??

Imma put her on blast just out of pettiness 😆

#jikook #kookmin #are you sure?!#jikook travel show #august 2024 #ep.3 #jimin #jungkook #bts #bangtan

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heybaetae · 5 months ago

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hi friends! 👋🏻

i am here with my little 2024 gif wrapped after being tagged by @jkvjimin, @cordiallyfuturedwight, @yooboobies, @taehyunghobi, @jinstronaut, and @btsjk-biased. i didn't expect so many tags, so i appreciate you all for including me and wanting to see me recollect some of the work i shared this year. i'll do so under the cut and leave comments wherever i see fit.

i've seen a couple different ways people have done this, so i'll do a variation of both. i'll list my favorite vs. most popular set per each month + some honorable mentions that i liked or were particularly proud of. feel free to go show any of the mentioned posts some love just as i plan to do with everyone else's some time after i post this!

JANUARY

my favorite - vmin holding hands ↳ because i'm Me and they are insufferable

most popular - vmin in the car

honorable mentions - jikook clowning in the barracks

my recap stops there as i have nothing to show for november and december (with the exception of the yeontan tribute set and what i'll be posting for tae's birthday) as i stopped giffing at the end of october.

you can take a look back at everything else i made in my archive here :)

i don't know what the new year will hold for me as far as posting content goes, but thank you very much to those who never stopped supporting my work this year and the last four years since i started this blog. i've had a lot of feelings this year about my place as a gifmaker here and i've struggled a bit reckoning with the low engagement despite how much i know my work is loved by those who matter and never fail to let me know. i am working on reminding myself of this and i offer the same sentiment to anyone else experiencing the same feelings. you all deserve 100x more than what you get back.

for now though, my queue is gonna continue posting for me for a while. if i can get myself out of this funk by the time bts comes back, then i hope to provide whatever i can when the time feels right.

i think nearly everyone has been tagged to do this by now, but i’ll tag (unless you’ve already done it, just lmk or ignore me) @jung-koook, @kimtaegis, @btsiu, @namchyoon, @kookjinnies, @rjshope and whoever else wants to do this, please do and forward it to me or put it in my tracked tag so i can reblog it!

i love you all. happy new year 💜

#tag game #cc tag game #don't mind how bad that header gif is

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starlightsuffered · 6 months ago

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Forbidden (p1)

Info - forbidden love, trickery, accusations, getting caught having sex, unprotected sex, mentions of masturbation and oral, sex on a horse, cream pie, cock warming, mentions of injury, murder, cheating

"I'm so glad your family is visiting," I gasped into his mouth. I was riding his cock in my room.

"I love you so much, you don't know how I've missed you," Hal muttered into my ear.

"Darling, I can barely focus without you around. I hate this," I said as he slowly rutted his large cock inside me. I remembered how we started all this.

It had been three years ago, and he'd caught me in a spare room, touching myself. I'd been horrified to be caught. I thought he'd call me a whore, or degrade me for doing such a thing as a Princess, but instead he'd come to me and bent down.

"Next time you feel this way, call on me," he'd said before giving me the best head I'd ever experience. Sure it had started out as a pleasure thing, but as it continued we'd fallen for one another. When I'd been injured falling from my horse, he'd visited immediately to "pay his respects" but really he told me he loved me. He'd gently made love to me, so as not to hurt me.

I remembered how he'd cried to me the night my engagement to Lord Appelion had been announced. He'd begged and begged me to run away with him, but we both knew how badly our countries needed us. We couldn't do it. So now it was letters and hook ups. We were blessed that our countries were close.

"Just focus on me for now. How do I feel? I've been out of practice, with only my hand for so long," he said sadly. Whenever he reminded me of his loyalty to me, my heart soared. It was never something I had asked of him. I wouldn't have denied him the right to pleasure. However, he was loyal.

"I just adore how you feel. You stretch me out so damn well. I love that you marked me, you don't usually let yourself do that," I said as I lovingly brushed the purple spot on my chest.

"Because after I fill you to the brim with cum, I'm going to tell your father who I am marrying," he growled.

"No need to alert me," came a dark voice.

"Father," I said worriedly.

"You are engaged!" He roared.

"But I love Hal. Hal is a king, much better than a lord. Can't I marry him instead?" I asked. Hal was grabbing a blanket to cover my body. I wrapped it around myself so I could go to my father.

"Please," I begged, touching his bearded face.

"We're kicking him out immediately! You are forbidden to see him!"

"No! No!" I cried as guards entered the room. Man handling Hal.

"I'll come back for you my love, you have not seen the last of me," he cried. I wept on the floor and my father left me there.

We wrote to one another in secret. I used a fake name for him. I called him Timothy. He told me he would find a way to marry me. I told him it was hopeless. I was going crazy without him all my days were dark and grey. I missed my Hal.

"Your highness, we couldn't stop him!" Said one guard. "He was actually killing us."

Hal came in disheveled and bloody. He held a long sword out in front of him. He often said he loved how I didn't cower away from his angry side.

"By order of the royal Court of England, I am taking y/n as my wife," He announced. Only the king knew we'd been a couple. To everyone else this must be odd. I think Hal was betting on that, the publicity of the moment. The King wouldn't want to disappoint his people.

"You cannot order that!" Spat my father.

"I can, because your daughter has stolen something from me, it is why I cant be faulted for charging into this room!"

"She hasn't stolen anything!"

Hal stalked to me, a foreign ferocity in his eyes. His eyes were always soft when he looked at me. He was a good actor. He grabbed my hand harshly and yanked down my sleeve. On my hand was a glittering ring he'd given me the day he'd confessed his love. It was Unmistakably English and expensive.

"She stole this, and it is much more valuable than her, but I'll take her in trade," he said loudly. He squeezed my wrist gently, to let me know he didn't mean what he was screaming.

My father was in a hard place. Either he reveal I had cheated on my fiancée and make the people think I was a whore, or he would have to give in to Hal's request.

"Take her then you malevolent scoundrel!" He snapped. Hal Escorted me from the room harshly. When we were alone on his horse he finally was himself.

"You're brilliant Hal," I said, leaning back into him as we rode.

"I'm just so happy to see you," he kissed my neck. "I had an idea on the way over here. Why don't you sit on my cock as we ride love."

We stopped the horse and he got out his cock. I lifted my skirts and he was soon nestled inside me. We began to ride again and the movement of the horse provided much pleasure. By the time we reached his castle we'd both cum many many times. We entered into our new life of love, as the castle doors shut.

#reader insert #x reader #timothee chalamet #timothee chamalet #timothee fanfic #timothee imagine #timothee x reader #timothee x y/n #timothee x you #timothée chalamet #hal the king #hal smut #hal x reader #hal #timothée chalamet smut #timothee smut #timothee chalamet smut #smut #forbidden

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jinisnuggets · 1 year ago

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Thanks to the anon who rquested the doyoung smut 🥵🥵🥵 and thankyou for writing it 💖💕💗💜💖🖤❤️ now I can never get enough of doyoung Arggghh!!! can you make another one for doyoung but this time he's the dom 😩

𝑨 𝑵𝒆𝒘 𝑺𝒊𝒅𝒆 𝒐𝒇 𝑴𝒆

ᴾᵃⁱʳⁱⁿᵍˢ: ᴰᵒʸᵒᵘⁿᵍ ˣ ᶠᵉᵐ! ᴿᵉᵃᵈᵉʳ

ᵂᵒʳᵈ ᶜᵒᵘⁿᵗ: ¹.⁵ᵏ

ᴳᵉⁿʳᵉ: ˢᵐᵘᵗ

ᵂᵃʳⁿⁱⁿᵍˢ: ˢʷᵉᵃʳ ʷᵒʳᵈˢ, ˢᵘᵍᵍᵉˢᵗⁱᵛᵉ, ᵘⁿᵉˣᵖᵉᶜᵗᵉᵈ ˢᵉˣ, ᵘⁿᵖʳᵒᵗᵉᶜᵗᵉᵈ ˢᵉˣ.

ˢʸⁿᵒᵖˢⁱˢ: ᵂʰᵉⁿ ʸᵒᵘ ᵃˢᵏᵉᵈ ᴰᵒʸᵒᵘⁿᵍ ᵗᵒ ˢʰᵒʷ ʸᵒᵘ ᵃ ⁿᵉʷ ˢⁱᵈᵉ ᵒᶠ ʰⁱᵐ, ʸᵒᵘ ᵈⁱᵈⁿ'ᵗ ᵉˣᵖᵉᶜᵗ ᶠᵒʳ ʰⁱᵐ ᵗᵒ ᵗᵃᵏᵉ ⁱᵗ ˢᵒ ˡⁱᵗᵉʳᵃˡˡʸ, ᵗʰⁱᶜᵏ ᶜᵒᶜᵏ ᵈᵒʸᵒᵘⁿᵍ, ᵉⁿᵈˢ ˢᵒᵐᵉʷʰᵃᵗ ᵒⁿ ᵃ ᶜˡⁱᶠᶠ ʰᵃⁿᵍᵉʳ..?

ᴬ/ᴺ: ᴵ'ᵐ ˢᵒ ˢᵒʳʳʸ ᵃⁿᵒⁿ ᶠᵒʳ ᵗᵃᵏⁱⁿᵍ ˢᵒ ˡᵒⁿᵍ ᵒⁿ ᵗʰⁱˢ, ᴵ ʷᵃⁿᵗᵉᵈ ᵗᵒ ʳᵉˢᵉʳᵛᵉ ᵗʰⁱˢ ᶠᵒʳ ᵃᶠᵗᵉʳ ᵃ ᶠᵉʷ ᵐᵒʳᵉ ᵘᵖˡᵒᵃᵈˢ ᵃⁿᵈ ⁿᵒʷ ᵗʰᵃᵗ ᵃ ᶠᵉʷ ᵐᵒʳᵉ ᵘᵖˡᵒᵃᵈˢ ʰᵃᵛᵉ ᵖᵃˢˢᵉᵈ ʰᵉʳᵉ ⁱᵗ ⁱˢ, ᵗʰᵃⁿᵏ ʸᵒᵘ ᶠᵒʳ ʷᵃⁱᵗⁱⁿᵍ ᵒⁿ ᵐᵉ 🙏

You were at dinner with your boyfriend Doyoung, it was a special occasion since it was your 4th anniversary as a couple and you were glad that you both had made it so far since the beginning.

“Cheers!” You both said at the same time as you took a sip of the wine that intertwined in your fingers. Neither of you were big drinkers, but tonight was an exception and you figured one glass wouldn't hurt.

“Four years huh?” you muttered, leaning against the table with the wine in your grip, your long black dress brushing against the floor as he responded.

“Crazy how fast time flies. It feels like just yesterday since I was looking at you from afar and only ever had fantasies of dating you.” He chuckled a bit, recalling the old times, rolling your eyes, you slightly hit his leg with your heel as he let out a dramatic cry.

“That did not hurt!”

“It did a little!”

“I barely hit you!?”

At that point he was just teasing you. Every anniversary he took you out to a fancy dinner date, making you go in search of a brand new dress every year upon the mention of it. You loved seeing Doyoung wear a suit, looking tidy and professional, it was one of your favorite sights and made you think of Doyoung as something more than just your boyfriend.

And sometimes, it felt that way too…

So when you left the restaurant and walked over to the familiar car in the parking lot, you only thought of Doyoung as something more like your husband, although you both were still young it felt about right to refer to him with that title rather than boyfriend.

“I'm full-” Doyoung muttered, letting out a sigh after buckling his seatbelt and leaning back on his chair.

“Me too, I think we ate too much…” you chuckled, too tired to reach out to find your own seatbelt. Silence filled the car until he ultimately came near the steering wheel and turned on the air conditioner, you picked at your belt until you heard the familiar click.

“Do you wanna stop by a lookout before I drop you off? I think it'd be nice to catch up a bit before heading home.” He asked you, looking at you with the most heartwarming smile despite the darkness of the barely illuminating moon. “I think that'd be nice, to get to know some new sides of you that you possibly haven't shown me yet.” you smiled back, before glancing back at the window and leaning against the shoulder rest.

“I don't think there's anything you haven't seen of me.” Doyoung replied, taking his view away from you and looking upfront to the road.

“There must be something, I wanna get to know a new Doyoung tonight, I think you could show me one.”

He stayed silent, unsure of what to respond with, he didn't know whether your sentence had some sort of suggestiveness or whether it was a fully innocent comment, nevertheless, he only had one thing in mind, one singular side of himself that he couldn't recall ever showing you.

And well… maybe tonight would be the day he'd meet a new side to himself as well.

—————

You arrived at the empty sight and kept yourself awake, slowly drooping your head over to the side before picking it up again.

“Hey, you said you wanted to see a new side of me, don't fall asleep now.” Doyoung teased, you heard the driver side door open, it was when you finally lifted your head and turned to face Doyoung’s side of the car, noticing him open the back seat door before sitting down.

“What are you doing?” You questioned.

“Come, I think it'd be better to talk like this, we'd be more comfortable along with being more available to physical touch.”

He was right, you didn't wanna fall asleep on the day that was supposed to be special for the both of you, so you opened the passenger side door and brought yourself to the back, sitting down next to your boyfriend who rushed you into a hug.

“What was that for..?” You giggle lightly, not trying to make so much noise in the quiet setting, the low music playing in the background really helped set the tone, quiet, and relaxed music was perfect for something like this, not to mention the beautiful scenery.

“Just wanted to hug you.” He responded.

You nodded and hugged him back, feeling his arm tug on your dress strap lightly, enough to make it slide off your shoulder and onto your arm.

“I'm sorry for keeping you for so long, you probably wanna get home and take off this dress. I bet it's uncomfortable.”

“I can always make time for you.” You sighed, responding to his comment. You truthfully enjoyed every moment you got to spend with Doyoung, so despite the tight dress somewhat cutting your oxygen levels, you wanted to make sure that he knew you didn't mind spending more time with him and to not feel guilty.

And you weren't sure if he got the message… or got it the wrong way.

Both of your dress straps slipped off of your shoulders, replaced by the feeling of two hands rubbing against your back and pulling you closer.

Before you knew it you were sitting on his lap, the familiar lips that normally made contact with your own now sucking onto your right collarbone. Doyoung transferred messages and signals through those few seconds that his lips came in contact with your body, however you weren't sure if you read his messages correctly or if you were just fantasizing.

Because the only sentence you received were those seven words, followed by the next seven words, and your suspicions were only confirmed when he muttered-

“I want more than what we have.”

Groans escaped from your mouth as he passionately kissed you, more aggressive than you were used to, your eyes were shut as you felt your dress be lifted and expose your undergarments, he rubbed you, massaged and made sure to make you feel good.

“And you're gonna give it to me…”

“Doyoung - calm down please, I didn't mean this when I said I wanted to see another side of you..! Isn't this too fast?”

“I've waited four years Y/n…”

He silenced you with another kiss, biting your bottom lip and beginning to ask for your permission to enter. You granted it but he quickly overpowered you with his tongue, making you let out a cycle of moans.

“So wet for me already, keep doing that and I'll make you feel better.”

“Doyoung… let's not do this please-”

“Come on Y/n- you know you want this just as much as I do…”

His hand traveled under your undergarment, beginning to finger you, opening you up more and making room for himself.

“Doyoung - if we're gonna do this, at least expose yourself to me too… this is unfair and embarrassing..”

“Patience, love.. patience…”

It was a funny statement, how could you be patient in a situation like this? How could you be calm in this situation when every little move he pulled on you just made you wetter than you already were, and it was quite humiliating.

Your back touched the bottom of the cushion, as he slowly topped you. His features came into light as the moon reflected its light onto his face… that pure stare that you used to look at and think as innocent, you couldn't believe someone like Doyoung had been fantasizing about something like this for as long as four years.

His fingers rubbed against you as your zipper slowly came undone, back becoming exposed and sleeves rolling off your arms.

It was truly relieving to have the dress off, you had been so focused on looking good for the date that you forgot about the basic rules, you let out a breath of relief, feeling better upon the feeling of the fabric lifting up from your skin and sliding off your body.

“You don't need to wear these things to look pretty… you already are gorgeous to me, so please don't wear anything that makes something so simple like breathing difficult. You could show up in your pajamas and I'd still be kneeling down and stuttering over my sentences by your beauty.”

He brought his hand down to his pants, taking his belt off of his waist and pulling down his zipper, exposing his hardened dick that did nothing but twitch upon the feeling of fresh air brushing against it.

“You arouse me so much, you have no idea what you do to me…”

He pulled his boxer off of his dick, making it slam against his torso, and although it was dark, you could tell he was thick, his girth was impressive and it made your heart flutter. Making you more excited for the upcoming activities.

“You're excited all of a sudden, are you sure you can handle it?”

“Don't tease me, I can only try..”

He smirked, his gaze only shifting down as he lined himself up with you, putting his tip against your wet entrance and pushing it in and out of you while still staying at your surface.

“I like that answer.”

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suckerfordylansstuff · 9 months ago

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New Journey (S.H.) Chapter 7 Season 4

Pairing: Steve Harrington x henderson!reader

Summary: Back to Hawkins for spring break. Y/n believed it would just be a quiet time to cherish with her loved ones, but one day in and another mess had already began.

Warnings: cursing, blood

Notes: Another day another chapter. Tomorrow I'm leaving for vacation for about a week. I will try to get all the chapters ready and scheduled for uploading but if I miss a day or two please don't come for me. Please enjoy the chapter and stay safe!💕

Chapter 6 << Masterlist >> Chapter 8

You’ve settled into two groups while you were walking. You, Robin, and Nancy were in the front, and Steve, and Eddie were in the back, though a few meters apart.

It was quiet at the beginning. Everyone was trying to calm down their nerves, always looking where you were stepping in fear of alerting the bats or Vecna of your whereabouts.

“Hey, Y/n?” your head turned to the left when you heard Nancy’s voice call you “You had a big hit, huh?” she pointed to your back looking at the scars that were more visible now that you had ripped off the torn pieces of your shirt.

“Oh, yeah, but they’re surface wounds, I can barely feel them.” that was a small lie. You could feel them with every step you took but you weren’t bleeding so you felt no need to alert anyone “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, just… wondering.”

“About?” you questioned.

“What did you mean by Jonathan being scared?” she got straight to the point and you let out a sigh.

“Nancy, I really don’t think you want to hear this from me.”

“When did you speak with him?” her voice was strong, obviously in need to find out what her boyfriend was hiding, terrible scenarios already filling her head.

“A couple weeks back. Look. This is not my place to intrude, alright? You’re both my friends and I made a promise to him not to tell anyone.” she was ready to argue back but you were faster as you stopped walking a put your hands on her shoulders “But, I need you to put all your trust in me when I say that he loves you, and you have nothing to worry about.” her eyes were uncertain. However, the hug you shared right after told you everything you needed to know. I trust you. You smiled at one another once you pulled from her arms, just when Robin came rushing to you.

“Glad you’re having a moment, but you’re not leaving me alone to walk in these woods.” she grasped your arms and pulled you along.

Steve’s eyes followed your figures, glad to see you in good moods even after everything. Then his gaze falls to the only other guy in the group and he decides now is the best time to tell him everything he needed to. He calls out for him, Eddie slowing down to match his pace “Hey, man, uh… Listen, I just, uh… I just wanted to say thanks. For saving my ass back there.” he knew how scared and confused he must have been feeling because he was like that not three years ago. So, he wanted to make him feel welcome, as welcome you could feel while in a place like this.

��Shit. You saved your own ass, man. I mean, that was a real Ozzy move you pulled back there.” Eddie replied, raising a question inside Steve’s mind.

“Ozzy?”

“When you took a bite out of that bat… Ozzy Osbourne? Black Sabbath? He bit a bat’s head off onstage.” Eddie explained, quite shocked by the fact Steve didn’t know what he was talking about “It’s very metal, what you did. That’s all I’m saying.”

“Thanks.”

“Henderson told me you were a badass. Insisted on the matter, in fact.” now it was Steve’s turn to be shocked.

“Henderson said that?” he knew the kid loved him, just like he did. He didn’t wanna pick favorites, but Dustin hadn’t really given him a chance. With his toothy grin and crazy mind, it was hard not to love him. Not that he’d ever say that to his face, especially now that hormones were taking control over his body making him the snarkiest teenager he’s ever seen.

“Oh yeah. Shit. Kid worships you, dude. Like, you have no idea. It’s kinda annoying, to be honest.” Steve scoffs, even though he’s feeling himself fill with pride “I don’t even know why I care what that little shrimp thinks, but, uh, guess I got a little jealous, Steve. I guess I couldn’t accept the fact that Steve Harrington was actually a good dude. Rich parents, popular, chicks love him. Not a douche? No way man. No way.” Steve wanted to tell Eddie how wrong he was. Those weren’t the things that made him good. They were everything that he most despised in himself “That, like, flies in the face of all the laws in the universe and my own personal Munson doctrine. Still super jealous as hell, by the way.” he admitted his face coming close to Steve’s, making him a little uncomfortable, and not sure how to respond “Which is why I would never have jumped in that lake to save your ass. Not under any, uh… normal circumstances.”

The sound of a branch snapping and growling in the distance startled them for a moment before moving on.

“Nope. Outside of D&D, I am no hero. I see danger and I just turn heel and run. Or at least that’s what I’ve learned about myself this week.”

“Give yourself a break, man.”

“See?” Eddie pointed at the three of you ahead before stopping to look Steve in the eye “The only reason I came in here was ‘cause those ladies came in straight after you.” Steve let his gaze fall on the girls ahead, his eyes landing on your figure “Now, I was too ashamed to be the one who stayed behind. But Henderson, right there, she didn’t waste a second. Not one second. She just dove right in. You better hold on to her, because that was as unambiguous a sign of true love as these cynical eyes have ever seen.”

You weren’t sure what it was, but something told you to turn around. You continued walking but looked back finding Steve’s gaze already on you. His eyes were soft, full of love, bringing a smile to your face and making him return it when he realized you were looking at him. It was nice having a small moment to yourselves especially when the earth began shaking again.

“Okay, second on my least of least favorite things, earthquakes. Seriously, I’m unsteady enough as it is.” Robin joked, but her tone completely changed when Nancy took off, not waiting for the rumbling to stop “Nancy! Where are you going? Nancy!” you all went after her, finding her standing, looking out in the open. You follow her gaze and see a house up ahead, her house.

“Come on.” she said and began walking again.

You finally arrived at the house, the street bringing a familiar feeling inside you, almost a weird one. Nancy decided to go through the side door, the one from the garage as the staircase there was closer to her room. You’re in the back of the group, waiting your turn to walk into the house but before you could, something else catches your attention. Three bikes parked on your left, and at first glance, you wouldn’t think anything of it, but you quickly realized that you knew one of the bikes quite well. The black and white one with the used tires looked exactly like Dustin’s old one did. Last summer your mother had gifted Dustin a brand-new bike, a blue one. So, what was his childhood bike doing here?

Your eyes inspected the other two and you recognized them easily. Lucas and Will’s. This confused you even more. Will’s bikes weren’t even supposed to be in Hawkins anymore.

Your brain started doing spins, trying to understand why these were here and what they meant. Maybe, you thought, that weird feeling of time being still here, almost frozen, wasn’t just a feeling after all. From the moment you entered this street, you’ve been getting a constant feeling of Déjà vu. At first, you had decided to ignore it, because you figured it was just your tired brain, but now you realized it was yelling at you to remember. Remember that you have existed in this moment before, three years ago, when you picked up the kids from their campaign after work. The night Will got lost and this nightmare began.

You gasped at the realization, rushing inside to find the rest “Guys!” you yelled out as you got inside. The first person you saw was Steve, standing still in the living room “Steve! The bikes outside, I think they’re-”

“Dustin!” he screamed from the top of his lungs, sending you back a couple of steps in shock.

“Yeah, one of them is Dustin’s, but-” you tried explaining after a moment but he interrupted you once again.

“No, can you hear him? Dustin! Dustin! Can you hear me? Dustin!” you stare at him with big eyes and mouth open, not understanding what was going on “Du- Hello? Hel- hello?” you see the rest outside of the living room, rushing to get here after hearing Steve’s yelling.

“Maybe he really does have rabies.” Robin whispered, meaning it as a joke, but right now even the thought of that being true scared you.

“Hello! Hello!”

“Steve, what are you doing?” you asked him, desperate to understand why he was calling for your brother.

“Hello!” his flashlight points at your faces, making you squint by the harsh light “He’s here. Your brother. That little shit, he’s here. He’s like… He’s in the walls or something. Just listen. Listen.” he doesn’t even give you a moment to listen before he starts shouting his name, making you think he was crazy.

However, before you could grab his arm and stop him, try and calm him down, you heard it. A soft mumble resembling your brother’s voice. You turn to look at the rest who had heard it as well, and you all started calling Dustin’s name.

“All right, either this kid can’t hear us or he’s being a total douchebag. Sorry.” Steve said the last part to you, but you shook it off.

“If he doesn’t answer, he really is.”

“Will found a way.”

“What?” you asked when you heard Nancy speak.

“Will. He found a way to speak to Joyce through the lights.” you watch her move to one of the lamps, trying to turn it on. Steve goes with her and points to the light switch on the wall, telling her to give that a try. He turns around to check if it lights up, but something else intrigues his interest.

“Guys?” he points his flashlight at the ceiling light “You seeing this?”

Your eyes look up and see it not lit up with actual light, but a small glow covers the entire thing, the mumbling becoming stronger. You go under it, Nancy on your left and you all watch her as she raises her hand, making the glow lit up as if you’ve thrown glitter at it.

“It’s like fairy dust.” you said and let your own hand play with it.

“It… tickles.” Steve commented, followed by Robin’s take on it.

“It… kinda feels good.”

“Does anyone know Morse code?” Nancy suddenly asked, pulling you out from your trance.

“I do.” you say, when the rest responded negatively.

“You’re definitely Henderson’s sister.” Eddie comments, making you smile.

“Thanks. He and I learned it so we could speak through the walls when our mom grounded us. The tapping sound drove her nuts.” you positioned yourself better under the light and brought your hand up. You start ‘tapping’ the glow to let the message get through to the other side.

“What are you saying?” Robin asked you.

“We always started our conversation by tapping the word ‘H E R E’. It showed the other person that we were ready and wanted to talk.”

You hoped Dustin would remember. After you had grown up, those secret, descriptive conversations stopped, both you and him had other stuff to deal with. Right now you missed those small moments. You feared you two had grown too much too fast. After everything that had happened with the Upside Down, you only had one goal, to get out of Hawkins. But it only occurred to you after you left, what and who you were actually leaving behind. Those moments with your brother were gone. When you get out of this alive, you make a promise to yourself to have a conversation with him and try to find stuff you can do together when you’re away, communicate through the big wall separating Michigan and Hawkins. Just like when you were kids.

On the other side, Erica has noticed the lights flickering and tells Dustin that Vecna is here. This alerts the boys and they get up, staring at the light. Lucas is scared, not understanding what was going on, but Dustin, he recognizes the rhythm. It’s a pattern he’s known ever since he was seven and you were twelve.

“H… E… R… E…” he reads the code “Hey, uh… Remember when I said they wouldn’t be stupid enough to go through Watergate?”

“Yeah?” Lucas answers.

“I overestimated them.” Dustin said and turned to look back at the light asking “Y/n? Is that you?”

“Yeah, it’s me.” you giggled and tapped ‘Y E S’ so he could read it.

“Can you hear us?” you repeated the answered and you hear him chuckle “Holy shit. Okay, uh… Go upstairs. Go to Nancy’s room. We’ll meet you there.” you do as he said. You walk up to Nancy’s room and wait for them to arrive. You can hear them moving around, their voices a big mumble before the same glow as before appears on top of Nancy’s bed.

“Okay, you guys seeing this?” Nancy lets her hand move freely through the shiny dust, the light becoming brighter. Dustin’s laugh was so clear it almost brought tears to your eyes “Uh, we’re not moving it, but we’re gonna unplug it. Stand by. Yank it.” the glow disappears “Okay try it now.” your brother instructs and Nancy writes the word ‘HI’ with her finger.

You wait silently waiting to see if their plan would work. You were using Holly’s game that let you use light to draw out pictures. Dustin believed it would be a good way to communicate without using code.

“That worked!” he announced making you all cheer. You hug Steve out of excitement while you can hear the rest laugh and scream enthusiastically.

“Okay, um…” after calming down, Nancy focuses again and starts writing on the glow. You watch the letters go by one by one, while hearing the kids try and understand what you were writing.

“S… T… U… Stupid? Stupid?” Dustin suggested, being a little too familiar with the word, but they quickly saw you were spelling out “Stuck!”

You nodded your head at their words.

“Okay, okay. They’re stuck in the Upside Down.” Lucas said.

“Okay. Uh, you can’t get back through Watergate?” Dustin asked you, making your brows scrunch in thought.

“What the hell’s Watergate?” Steve asked and you connected the dots right after, your eyes rolling.

“Cause it’s in water and it’s a gate.” Robin explained for you and the rest ‘oh’ed in realization.

“This kid and his nicknames.” you shake your head with a small smile on your lips.

“That’s cute.” Eddie commented.

“Um, no. It’s…” Nancy thought out loud before drawing out your answer.

“G… U… A… R… D… E… D…”

“Okay. Uh, Watergate’s guarded.” Dustin said.

“Perfect. Yes. Yes. Yes.” Steve said and you sighed in relief at how well this was going.

“Okay, we think we have a theory that can help with that.”

You smiled at that “Of course.”

“Genius child.” Robin said under her breath.

“We think Watergate isn’t the only gate. That there’s a gate at every murder site.” you listened carefully at his words.

“Does anybody understand what he’s talking about?” you all said no, so Nancy drew a question mark on the glow.

“Okay, seriously? How many times do I have to be right on the money before you guys just trust me?” you shook your head at your brother’s annoyed echo.

“Jesus Christ. This kid’s gotta get his ego in check.” Steve said and Eddie agreed completely.

“It’s his tone. Right?”

“I know.” Steve nodded, but you stepped in getting you back in track.

“Okay, so, I bet he’s right, because somehow he always is, if there’s a gate in every murder site…”

“How far is you trailer?” Nancy caught on your thought and asked Eddie.

“Seven miles.”

“Nancy?” Robin brought all your attentions to her “I- I know your house here is, like, weirdly, creepily frozen in time and shit, but haven’t you always had bikes?”

“Not enough. In ’83 we only had mine and Mike’s bikes. Holly was too young and my parents too… busy.” she said with a shrug.

“This is the day Will disappeared. The kids were here all-day playing D&D.” you stepped in “I saw their bikes outside. That’s how I realized we are in the past. We have bikes, just small sized ones.”

“They’ll have to do.” Steve said and you stood up after informing the kids you’ll be heading at Eddie’s.

“We’ll meet you there!” you heard Dustin yell and you smiled, exiting the room and heading outside.

You grabbed your brother’s bike and started riding it towards Eddie’s trailer with the rest following.

On your way there, you were able to catch a glimpse at the house Vecna used for his attacks. It was filled with the bats that had attacked you. You remembered their claws on your back. You gulped and rode faster, wanting to leave this place as fast as possible. It didn’t take long after that to arrive at your destination.

“It’s right here.” Eddie pointed out and you got off the bike, setting it on the ground.

“That’s gotta be a Guinness World Record. Most miles traveled interdimensionally.” Robin said and you heard Steve cough.

“Just inhaled a bunch of that crap.” he coughs again, taking the flashlight out of his back pocket “It’s stuck in my throat.” you bring a hand to his back, patting it softly as you headed inside the trailer.

The moment you get inside you decide to never underestimate your brother again. The gate was right there, just like he had said.

“Goddamn.” Steve said in shock.

The gate was just like the one at Lover’s Lake. Small with a red layer separating your world with the Upside Down. It illuminated a red glow, lighting the trailer.

“This is where Chrissy died. Like, right where she died.” Eddie informed you.

“I think there’s something in there.” Robin told you and you were all able to see what she was talking about. Something was trying to break the barrier of the gate.

“What the hell is that?” Eddie asked, and you stayed silent to see what was going to happen.

Suddenly, the layer broke, making you jump in surprise, your yelps filling the room. Substances from the gate were falling to the floor as the stick that was sticking out was clearing the gate’s hole. The moment any kind of movement stopped, you decided it was time to investigate and see what had caused this. You moved forward, behind Steve who was leading the group. When you were able to have a clear view through the gate, your whole face lit up in a smile.

“No way.” Steve said from beside you, looking up at the kids, now including Erica, who was also staring at you. The weirdest thing however was the fact that you were looking at them upside down.

Dustin chuckled when he saw you and waved “Hi there.”

“Hey, Dusty.” you and the others waved back.

“Holy shit, this is trippy.” Robin said and Dustin laughed even more.

“Bada-bada-boom!”

After you had calmed down, it was pretty easy to form a plan for your way out. You decided on making a rope by Eddie’s tied sheets and place his mattress on your world’s floor, so you wouldn’t hurt yourself as you climbed up and down. Max and Lucas place the beg mattress under the hole and you stare at it.

“Those stains are, uh… I don’t know what those stains are.” he turns his head upward, ignoring your gazes with an embarrassed look on his face.

Your eyes fall on Dustin who had just stepped on said mattress showing you his work on the rope “Not quite sure how these physics are gonna work. But uh… here goes nothing.” he throws the rope in the air and you watch it in awe as it stands still between the two dimensions “There we go. And if my theory is correct…” he lets go of the rope and it stays in the air “Abracadabra.” you let out a chuckle at the sight.

“Holy shit.” Max says and Dustin addresses you.

“All right, pull on it! See if it holds!” he instructed and you held out your hand, pulling on the rope. You let out a surprised laugh when you see it not bulging. Robin also comes forward, pulling the rope with her entire weight. Nothing happens, the rope stays perfectly still.

“This is the craziest shit I’ve ever seen in my life. And I’ve seen some crazy shit.” Erica told you and she high-fives your brother.

One by one you climb up the rope. First was Robin, then Eddie, and then you. You pull on the tried sheets and the moment you cross dimensions you can feel the gravity pulling you to the ground. You land on the mattress letting out a huff, the force making you feel the bruises on your back. You feel two arms pulling you up and you open your eyes to see Dustin above you.

“Welcome.” he sent you a smile and the moment you got up, you engulfed him in a big hug.

“You’re okay.” you whispered into his ear.

Dustin was shocked for just a second before returning the hug with just as much force as you “You too.”

You didn’t know what it was, maybe the universe hated giving you moments to relax, but before you could stop the embrace on your own, you heard Steve’s voice yelling.

“Nancy? Stay with me. Nancy! Hey! Nancy, wake up!” you look through the gate to see Nancy frozen, while Steve was shaking her shoulders.

“Vecna.” Max said and you felt your heart pummel to your stomach in dread.

“What do we do?” you asked the rest, and you quickly began looking around for something that could help Nancy. Music was your number one solution for this kind of situation so you headed to Eddie’s room, searching for music that Nancy could like.

“Steve says you need to hurry!” Erica informs you.

“Yeah? No shit!” Dustin yells.

“We’re trying. We can’t find anything.” Max was searching with Dustin and Lucas on one pile, while you focused on another across the room, but wasn’t at all successful.

“Eddie, do you have anything?” you said in exaggeration.

“I mean, what are you even looking for?”

“Madonna, Blondie, Bowie, Beatles? Music! We need music!” Robin held up some of the tapes you had littered across the room.

“This is music!” Eddie said annoyed at her words as he holds up one of the tapes she had on her hands.

“It’s not good enough right now!” you yelled back.

Luckily, before you could waste more time, Nancy was able to wake up on her own. Steve helped her get through the gate and you guided her gently on one of the chairs in Eddie’s trailer. She looked exhausted and before you could ask her anything, her body went limp against yours, fainting. You looked around the room, searching for some kind of answers as to what you should do next. Max sprung into action and told you, you could stay at her trailer. She said her mother would either be too drunk to care or at work. Turns out it was the latter, making the situation much easier for you.

Steve took Nancy into his arms, and you settled her in Max’s bed to regain her strength. The rest of you decided to also relax and have someone stay on watch for an hour each time. Steve offered himself to be the first one to start the shifts and then it would be your turn. Max handed out some blankets and pillows you could use. She also said it would be okay to sleep on her mom’s bed, so you told the kids to go lay there. Robin took the couch, Eddie situated himself on the floor and you were curled up in the armchair.

You closed your eyes, fighting to get the images out of your mind and get some sleep, but you failed to win. After half an hour you got tired of pretending to be asleep. You opened your eyes and let them roam around the room. You looked at Robin sleeping, her body in a position that only she knew how to sleep in. Then you looked at Eddie, sleeping on his back on the floor. His eyes were moving behind his lids, and you hoped he wasn’t seeing nightmares.

Lastly, you let your gaze fall on Steve. He was sitting on the small table in the kitchen, his head turned to look outside the window.

Steve’s peripheral vision saw something move, and his senses heightened. However, he relaxed when he realized it was you. His eyes followed your body as you made your way to the chair next to him. You made yourself comfortable and placed your hand on top of his on the table, caressing it. He felt butterflies in his stomach that only increased when he looked you in the eye.

“You’re supposed to be sleeping.”

“You know I can’t sleep without you.” you said sweetly but he didn’t seem to believe you at all “Well, I can’t sleep in general right now, but let’s focus on the first reason.” you chuckled together.

Steve wanted for you to relax and get some sleep, but having you here felt great. You were the only one who could make him forget even for just a moment what had happened today “This day was crazy.”

“Yeah… I never thought we’d ever fight our way through the Upside Down and survive.” your eyes wandered to Steve’s torso, your bloody shirt your main focus “How’s your side?”

Steve looked down and touched the place where the bat had bit him, scoffing “It’s not bleeding anymore, so I guess that counts for something. What about your back?”

“Oh, I’m fine.” one of his eyebrows shot up, clearly not believing you “Really. Just a little sad about the shirt. I really liked it.” he quietly laughed at your ‘sad’ face, bringing both of his hands now on top of the table and taking yours in.

“I love you.” his voice was now a whisper, making you soft.

“I love you too, Steve.”

“Thank you for coming after me. Thank you for saving me and taking care of me.” this caught you off guard, not expecting this type of kindness.

“You’d do the same for me. You don’t have to thank me.” you told him, shaking your head.

“I don’t have to, but I want to.” you smiled at his words and you immediately returned the gesture.

“Thank you for fighting for us. Thank you for protecting us and the kids. Thank you for being here with me.” he smiled and leaned forward. He grabbed the side of your face with one hand, bringing your lips to his for a soft kiss. It may not have lasted long, but it was perfect.

“I just hope what we’re doing is enough this time.” he confessed to you after the kiss, his hands now playing with your fingers. You could see the worry in his eyes. It must have been scary for him to see Nancy like that in front of him, shaking her awake and yelling at her but getting nothing in return. Not knowing if he could keep someone safe isn’t easy for Steve.

You brought your hand on his cheek and guided his eyes to look into your own “We’re surviving this together, Steve. You told me that.” you recalled the first promise he had ever made you, one of the only things that could bring strength to you even in moments like these.

“We will.” he agreed and stayed with you until your turn to watch them ended. You woke Eddie up and Steve took his place on the floor. You returned to your original sleeping place, finally able to get some sleep, feeling safe with Steve next to you.

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quezzzs · 2 months ago

Text

Two champagne glasses of alcohol-base thirium clinked together as Markus and Connor took their sips of the refreshing liquid, both characters dressed well in clean and fashionable, suits

"I'm so glad you were able to make it for the festivities, Connor."

"How could I have forgotten? With your constant nagging and whining, it would be more surprising for me not to go."

Markus rolled his eyes playfully as he lightly punched Connor on his arm, the former deviant hunter only smirked as he held his own arm from the hit.

It was the both of them standing to the side of a well decorated inside venue, an only-android party(with the exception of a few human journalists for the media) for the one year celebration of the successful Android Revolution. It's crazy how the two friends having banter with each other used to be at opposite sides, even attempting an assassination.

Markus leans against the velvet like wall, swishing his glass around.

"I wasn't nagging you. I only kept reminding you since you haven't had much of a break recently from your police service. Also, congrats on the promotion as sergeant."

Connor made the same gesture as well, leaning next to Markus against the wall, his body language facing towards the RK200 to pay attention.

"Thank you," Connor smiled at the compliment before retorting Markus' side of the story. "But even so it's unnecessary to be given 3 reminders every two days."

"You're exaggerating."

"My statistics are proven to be highly accurate."

Markus' face grew bored as he groaned dramatically, only causing further amusement to the RK800. "I thought you dropped that habit."

"You know very well that I take pleasure in reading calculated numbers." The former deviant hunter shook his head and took another sip out of his drink.

A scoff was made by Markus from how ridiculous he found the reason to be. The two admired the sea of androids that interacted, engaged, and were seemingly having a great time. Neither of them had much in mind on what else to discuss but enjoyed being in each other's presence.

Markus felt comfortable in making a change to be able to be in the position he's in right now. No matter how hard it can get to deal with the press, angry protesters, and ignorant members of the government he's eternally grateful to bring his people to justice. But just because he is happy, doesn't mean he can go without some doubts and insecurities.

Just like how Connor feels right now.

He does want to be here, but in the moment he felt like he was suffocating just a little.

Connor never removed his LED because he was rather proud of his android nature, but one of the few cons of keeping it was that it can easily tell someone that he's processing something.

Markus quickly noticed the yellow color change on the LED and checked in on him. "Hey, you okay?"

Connor blinked repeatedly when he heard Markus, the LED staying the same as Connor struggled to convey his thoughts.

"It's just..." He trailed off as he continued to look at the crowded room before them. "I never thought I'd ever see myself here."

Markus tilted his head in confusion but interest. "Go on."

Connor's fingers tightened slight at his glass but relaxed himself once he made a deep breath.

"Do you ever...doubt yourself?"

...

"Sometimes, yeah. Why?"

"I can't find an understanding to why I think this way. Deviancy has brought me my own freedom, but I'm still filled with regret."

The gaze on Markus' face soften when Connor admitted that openly. He knew that the android struggled with making his own decisions at times due to past dependency on his programming although time has gone by.

Markus placed a hand on Connor's shoulder, encouraging him that it was alright to talk, to which Connor nodded his head and continued.

"To be here is a grand privilege. I'm only here because you were kind and helped me to open my eyes in order to go through my internal barriers," His brown eyes grew solemn, his fingertips tapping the half-finished glass as the blue liquid moved along the vibration.

"Sometimes, though, I still feel trap. No longer by an installed force but my own self."

Markus' hand slinks down from Connor's shoulder, listening to the words of conflict. He sighed and offered what he could.

"Connor, if I'm gonna be honest, I know what that's like. All that talk about being trapped by your own self, I get it."

Connor's LED finally changed to blue when he was informed of that news, his eyes were brought back some familiar light to it. "Truly?"

Markus nodded his head firmly, his lips pressed together for a second.

"I'm scared of myself too. I had managed to come all this way after winning something huge for our people and at the same time, I'm scared of bringing it all back down again. Sometimes, seeing other deviants leads me to think that, 'What if they had done a better job than me?' A better job at leading, and a better job at knowing what to do."

Leaning in closer, Connor held onto each sentence to Markus' mini speech as he kept on talking.

"I may have not gone through the same experiences you've went through, but I do know that we both are insecure of ourselves at certain points."

Connor only shrugged in response, unable to find how else to add on to what Markus is trying to say. Markus only gave a tender smile, his dual-colored eyes never leaving the cocoa colored ones.

"If you ever get those thoughts again, I'm always here to talk. I can try giving advice or if you just need to vent, no matter the case, you can talk to me."

Connor darted his eyes around to think about that suggestion before raising his head up again and showing some acceptance. "That would be appreciable."

"No problem."

Before they could progress with their exchange, a voice from afar called out to Markus. "Markus! Can you c'mere for a sec?" It was North and she had been in a really good mood tonight with how cheerful she sounded.

Markus turned to her then back at Connor to see if it would be alright. Connor gestured his hand to North, showing that he was fine with the decision.

With approval, Markus was just about to leave.

"Wait."

But he was stopped.

Markus turned around to Connor with a puzzled look as Connor set down his drink on one of the nearby tables.

"What is i-"

Connor had suddenly walked up really close in front of Markus has he examined his torso.

...

'When did it get hotter in here?' Markus thinks to himself

Connor raised his hands to the tie that Markus wore and adjusted it for him with careful movement.

This considerate motion made Markus feel a heavier thump to his thirium pump.

Connor then made sure the tie was on securely, his eyes making contact with Markus' blue and green ones.

"It was getting loose."

Markus swore he could see the faintest smile at the corner of Connor's mouth. He was baffled with what was happening.

"I- uh-"

He cleared his throat from the weird static sound that came out. "Thank you, Connor."

Connor chuckled breathlessly before removing his hands slowly from Markus' tie. "You're welcome, Markus."

Markus left Connor swiftly when given the opening. His thirium pump was still reacting weirdly. He managed to make it to where North had called him from.

She had seemed to witness all of that from the distance because she quirked an eyebrow up at Markus and asked, "What was that?"

"Nothing..." Markus avoided eye contact with her.

North stared at him skeptically. "Mhm..."

Unbeknownst to Markus, his face had shown a slightly dark blue on his cheeks.

Not like he needed to be told that.

...

An artist always had a muse Never to be expected but once found, the artist is forever infatuated in their passion of recreating what can't be fully replicated

#dbh #detroit become human #dbh connor #dbh markus #rk1k #cutesy moments😋#i just took inspo from my failed x oc fanfic #i like this a lot better tho #also i added la campanella just cuz

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simplywrong · 11 days ago

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10 for Chestappen or Webbonso

Couldn't decide so I did both, hope it's okay

10. I'm so happy you are alive Chestappen

Max wasn’t one for big outbursts of emotions, he liked to think he was pretty chill no matter the situation. But lately everything was making him feel just slightly insane. His life seemed to go downhill ever since the season started.

“Max?”

Right, he was supposed to be listening. The video call was his idea, it was rude to ignore his ex-teammate just to get lost in his own mind. Sergio looked concerned with his eyebrows furrowed and his eyes filled with worry, the silent question hanging in the air.

“Sorry, just a bad day.”

That was an understatement. But he didn’t want to put in on Sergio, not when the man just got out of all this. It wasn’t fair to drag him back like that.

“Okay but remember you can always talk to me. Whatever it is, you got this Max. Never give up, yeah?”

So what if his eyes filled with tears a little at that? There was no one to see him here. Despite popular opinion he was a human and he knew Sergio wouldn’t judge him. Still, he blinked a few times and tried to smile.

‘I’m so happy you’re alive.’

Max wanted to say it, it was at the tip of his tongue and itching to get out but he wasn’t ready to face the consequences. The thing between them was fragile now, he too was fragile. He just needed more time.

“Yeah, thanks.”

He missed him. When Sergio was here everything seemed somehow more bearable. But he couldn’t say the words, not with all the weight they would carry. Not yet at least. Yet somehow, Sergio seemed to understand. With a small comforting smile he nodded and continued with his story. This time Max focused on the words. He could do it. And maybe, if the world smiled at them they would see each other again. Soon.

10. I'm so happy you are alive Webbonso

Mark had to admit he wasn’t really listening to whatever Fernando was yapping about as they stood on the hotel’s balcony. Today’s race was pretty uneventful but the Spaniard was frustrated anyway, beginning their meeting with a tirade about ‘how things should be done’ while he poured them both something to drink. The conversations between them usually looked like that. Fernando liked to talk and he just wanted to listen. A perfect match.

Right now, as he nodded along to yet another story about Lance injuring himself, he could almost imagine Fernando from 2010, with that ridiculous attempt at a beard and downright crazy spark in his eyes as he complained to him about a certain German who made their lives difficult. It was weird to think so many years passed already.

He came back from his memories when Fernando stopped mid sentence and squinted at him, studying his face with razor sharp focus.

“What are you smiling about?”

Mark didn’t know how to answer that. He didn’t even realize he was smiling. But of course Fernando wouldn’t miss something like that. He never missed anything, not really.

It was surreal to him that after all these years, the forced distance and the period of heavy silence after Fernando shut him out for retiring ‘too early’ they could still be like this. The same in so many ways and yet somehow different. Both older, both with more tiredness and maybe less fire hiding in their eyes but still familiar to each other. Safe.

He would be laughed at if he told Fernando that he was just happy to have him in his life, happy to just stand there, lean against the railing and listen to him talk for hours. Happy that so many things changed but never them, despite all the troubles and disagreements along the way. That he was glad Fernando unashamedly himself.

“I’m so happy you’re alive.”

His tone came out way softer than he intended but somehow it matched the atmosphere around them. Fernando rolled his eyes but moved slightly closer, their arms brushing. A quiet reciprocation.

“You’re getting sappy in your old age.”

Those words were aimed to be a jab but sounded almost fond, the small smile on Fernando’s face betraying how he really felt about the comment.

“Like you are one to talk, mate.”

And just like that everything returned to normal. They both smiled and raised their glasses in a silent toast, not needing to say anything else. It was enough for them to understand.

#chestappen #sergio perez #max verstappen #checo perez #webbonso #fernando alonso #mark webber #sorry

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isacksteban · 11 months ago

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First Kiss (Ending 1)

A strollonso AU where 18 year old rookie Lance Stroll falls helplessly in love with the notoriously mean world champion. (3.4k words, angsty ver) [@v3lnys @biancathecool] {I almost made them happy but then i rewrote it so it's really a sad ending}

last part - masterlist - alternate ending (just for u guys)

The private villa Lawrence rented for his son's party buzzed with the sounds of Lance's 19th birthday celebration. The expansive terrace was draped in fairy lights, and the tropical decor gave a nod to the vibrant culture of Brazil. The night was warm, the air filled with the mingling scents of barbecue and the fresh tang of lime from caipirinhas.

Lance was at the heart of it all. His Racing Point jacket lay tossed over a chair, his cheeks flushed with a mixture of excitement and alcohol. The F1 season had just concluded. It was a fitting end to a spectacular year.

"Happy Birthday, Bubu!" Nico Rosberg called out his smile audible, navigating through the crowd with a bright grin. He embraced his teammate warmly.

"Thanks, Nico!" Lance replied, his smile wide. "This is the best birthday I could ask for." He slurred, head laying on the older mans neck "You're so nice Nico, please don't die"

The German man couldn't help but laugh, patting the Canadians head as he shook his head at his drunken state.

Sebastian emerged next, carrying a brightly wrapped gift, pictures of his face littered on the paper. "Lancey! I got you something special," he announced, his German accent thick. "Open it later when you can stand straight."

Lance laughed, pulling Sebastian into a hug, trading one German shoulder for another. "Thanks, Sebby. You always know how to make it fun."

Across the terrace, Fernando Alonso watched his boyfriend with a loving smile. Once he made his way over, he slid an arm around Lance’s waist. "Mi sol, are you enjoying your night?" he asked, his Spanish accent colouring his words.

"The best, Nando," Lance responded, leaning into Fernando, clingier than he usually was now that he had practically drank his body weight in expensive wine. "It’s perfect because you’re here."

Fernando kissed Lance on the cheek. "Am glad, Lancito."

Sebastian raised his glass, a gleam in his eye. "To Lance, the youngest ever F1 race winner!" he toasted, his voice carrying above the music.

The crowd echoed the cheer, their glasses clinking in unison. Nico leaned in with a grin. "How does it feel, being a nineteen year old?"

"God, I'm just glad we're in Brazil and not America" He shook his head, wiggling the wine glass in his hand.

The night continued in a blur of dancing, laughter, and endless drinks. Lance, feeling beyond tipsy, found himself on a plush lounge chair with Fernando at his side. Sebastian animatedly recounted a moment from free practice, shaking his head as he explained the argument he'd gotten into with an engineer.

"Seb, how are you ever gonna get a seat!" Lance exclaimed, his laughter unrestrained. "You’re crazy."

Fernando, his arm securely around Lance, whispered, "You okay, mi vida?"

"Better than okay," Lance replied contentedly.

As the party began to wind down, Lance and Fernando decided it was time to head back to their shared room. They bid goodnight to their friends, with Nico and Sebastian giving Lance one last hug and a few more jokes.

Back in the quiet of their hotel room, Fernando helped Lance out of his shoes and jacket, noticing how after they'd left he got quieter. "Tired, Lancito?" Fernando asked gently, his Spanish accent soothing as he looked up to the Canadian.

"I can't do this anymore" A now tipsy Lance muttered, face barely illuminated in their shared hotel room.

"What?" Fernando laughed, unsure what Lance was talking about, he never made much sense when he was drunk.

"I can't hold you back like this" He confessed, eyes foggy as he looked up at Fernando.

"Lance, you're not holding me back, what are you talking about, Mi sol?" The Spaniard consoled, cupping the boys face in his hands

"Nando, i'm not gay"

"You're joking" Fernando laughed, patting his cheek slightly before folding his dress shirt and placing it on the chair in the corner of the room

"I can't be gay, I- I know we've done things and i've said things but- but none of it was real, Nando" A now shirtless Lance stumbled over his words, picking at his fingernails as he spoke.

He didn't respond, simply stepping closer and pressing their lips together, trying to pull his boyfriend out of his head, stop the thoughts from consuming him.

The Canadian kissed back, of course he did, his body knew how he wanted to react. His brain was just in denial.

Just as it seemed to be going back to normal he pulled away, the back of his hand wiping his lips. Wiping away Fernandos kiss. It hurt.

"Stop, don't- don't kiss me." Lance moved back, needing distance between them

"What? Am I making you feel sick?" Fernando scoffed, sucking on his teeth as he waited for a response. Waited for the next piece of bullshit Lance was going to spew. He wasn't upset before, but Lance wasn't drunk enough for this to be excused.

"It's not like that." Bullshit.

"You cant just lie to me, Lance, I know you- you feel the same, I know you do, but you have these feelings, these thoughts, these concerns, but I'm here to help." He was confused, they'd been fine all week, they'd been fine for months, and suddenly Lance was breaking up with him? "What happened, Lancito? Who spoke to you? What are you hearing? Let me help."

"Stop, Fernando." He spat, speaking to the older man as if they really were nothing "I can't, this is over"

"No, I won't let you do this."

"You have no choice. If I dont leave you'll never be happy."

"I want to be happy with you, Lance, I want to do this with you. I'll help you deal with whatever youre going through but you cant just- you can't give up on us like this" Fernando felt as if all the wind had just been knocked out of him. Seriously, where was this coming from? "What am I going to do without you?"

"Continue racing, win your third world championship, fall in love, really fall in love, not like this. You want a family, I can't give you that. If you're ever done racing then retire and live out the rest of your life like I never existed, find paradise, Fernando, I'm not everything."

"I have found paradise, with you, Lancito. You're my everything. You're my life. My sun. My soulmate. You can't just leave me as if you don't feel the same."

"I don't." He confirmed, standing up and weaving by Fernando to grab his shirt and slip it on before leaving.

"I'll never love racing the way I love-" slam. "-you."

He left everything else that he had but he couldn't bring himself to care. He couldn't go back. If he did he'd never leave.

Fernando didn't go back to his hotel that night, he went to Marks.

He wasn't sure why.

He needed someone.

As soon as the Australian opened the door Fernando broke out into sobs, coming undone in the hallway of some random four star hotel in Brazil.

"Fer" Was all Mark said, pulling his friend into his arms as he pushed the door shut.

It was pathetic. Fernando thought. Crying.

That night he slept in the taller mans hotel, the wrong taller mans hotel.

He slept in Marks arms with tears dried on his cheeks as his chest rose and fell with every shakey breath.

Everything was wrong.

Fourteen years. That's how long it was until Fernando saw Lance again.

He retired after his rookie year, there was hardly ever any new information about Lance released to the public for fourteen whole years.

Fernando hadn't dated since Lance. Hadn't looked at any girls, let alone another boy, since Lance left him after he turned 19.

Fernando had gotten more involved with his karting brand since then, doing anything and everything to distract himself from the memories of the boy he loved so dearly all those years ago.

He arrived at La Conca Circuit, seeing the boys and girls already in their Karts and practicing for their upcoming races, he couldn't help but smile as he walked closer. There'd been a lot of new students enrolled since the last time he'd watched a practice. Seeing them at the earliest stages of their careers made him happy, it temporarily filled the whole in his heart he left reserved for his future children.

One student in particular caught the Spaniards attention, his helmet a familiar hot pink with hollographic lettering on the side, as he watched the boy absolutely dominate the track he noticed him coming to a stop, exiting his vibrant FA kart and pulling off his helmet then his balaclava.

Fernando stood up, making his way over to the boy in an effort to learn who his new student was

"Fernando Alonso, how long have you been karting with us?" He held out his hand, the boy's head shooting up, a shocked expression on his face as he quickly took the mans hand

"Nik-" The boy spoke, practically choking on his words "I'm Nikola- I've only been racing here for a few weeks"

"How do you like it, Nikola?" The older man asked, smiling slightly at the boy

"I love it, I've been in karts since I was four and it's so great to be in an environment like this" The teenager nodded, the accent attached to his words bringing memories flooding back

"Are you from around here?" Fernando asked, aware the boy wasn't just by the way he spoke

"No, I'm from Canada. My dad's here on business and the schedules just lined up perfectly" He answered, helmet tucked under his arm

The Spaniard nodded, eyes falling down to the helmet "Did you design it yourself? Your helmet."

"My helmet?" Nikola echoed, holding it out to show Fernando "No, my dad had a similar helmet when he was in F1, I wanna make it too so I figured the helmet might bring me luck"

Fernandos mouth went dry, eyes glued to the pink helmet with NS on the side, "Nikola Stroll" written in small letters just barely above the holographic logo

"Stroll, You're Lance's boy?" His eyebrows furrowed, eyes meeting Nikola's, it made sense now that he knew. He looked just like Lance, it was unsettling.

"You know my dad?" Nikola asked, eyebrows raising as he awaited a response

"We used to be close, very close, he was in Formula 1 when I won my second championship." Fernando smiled at the fond memory "We haven't spoken since he retired, though."

"What? Why? You guys have to talk now." Nikola insisted, reaching out and grabbing the Spaniards wrist to pull him over to where Lance was lingering, distracted on his phone as he waited for his son to be finished.

"Dad!" The boy called, the now older Canadian turning back instantly

"Nikola, mi sol, how was-" He stopped mid sentence, look on his face changing as he registered the man behind his son, swallowing dry as the two came closer

"Why didn't you tell me you were friends with THE Fernando Alonso when you were in Formula 1?" The teenager asked, letting go of Fernando as he gazed up at his dad, not noticing the shakey breath escaping his lips

"Can you give us a second, Nik?" Lance asked, eyes not leaving the Spaniard. His son didn't protest, just groaned as he went back out to the track

The roar of engines started up again and the smell of gasoline filled the air at the circuit. The sun beat down on the asphalt, making it shimmer in the afternoon heat. Spectators cheered from the stands, but Fernando and Lance were oblivious to the noise around them.

Fernando stood by the outskirts of the circuit, his face flushed with anger. He had no idea what to say, his heart pounding in his chest. It had been 14 years since they last saw each other, but the intensity of his emotions hadn’t dimmed. Lance stayed a few feet away, the tension between them palpable.

"So, you are a father?" Fernando spoke up, uncomfortable with the silence between the two.

"Yeah, He'll be thirteen in December." Lance nodded, running his fingers through his now shorter hair, the Spaniard unable to ignore his ring finger "You aren't?"

"No." He responded simply, eyes following the Canadians hand as it settled against his hip "Are you married?'

"Yes." Lance responded, trying everything to avoid looking the man in front of him in the eyes

"Oh" Fernando hummed, unable to tear his eyes away from the Canadian in front of him "You look good, Lancito"

"Nando-" He started, stepping back slightly "Fernando, I can't- don't call me that."

Fernando scoffed, looking around to see if people were watching before he spoke "Don't call you that? Lance you literally call Nikola mi sol. He just found out we knew eachother back then today. You can't tell me not to call you Lancito then send your son to my karting school and call him what I used to call you. Is not fair."

Lance sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Fernando, this isn’t the time or place-"

"Don’t you dare tell me what the time or place is!" Fernando’s voice rose, drawing the attention of a few passersby. "You owe me this. After all these years, you owe me an answer."

"I- God." Lance licked his lips, desperately trying to get moisture back into his mouth, voice scratchy from nerves "I know, of course I know it's not fair. It's insane. I should be working but you've been going to tracks a lot more recently and I couldn't stop wishing I was there to see you. Just one more time. I needed to see you." He spoke fast, barely avoiding stumbling over his words

"Do you have any idea how selfish that is, Lance?" Fernando asked, voice shaking as he moved closer to the man in front of him, he really was a man now. "You left me. You retired and cut all contact with me fourteen years ago. You got married. You had a child. You're all i've ever wanted. I haven't looked at another person the way I looked at you in more than a decade and you needed to see me?"

Lance looked down at the ground, shifting uncomfortably. "What do you want me to say?"

"Do you want to be with me or do you want to be with her?" Fernando's voice cracked, the raw pain evident. "Answer me, Lance!"

Lance's eyes met Fernando’s, filled with a mixture of guilt and sorrow. "Marilou...she’s my wife now. We have a life together."

"And what about us?" Fernando’s eyes blazed with anger. "What we had meant nothing to you? Fourteen years, Lance. Fourteen years and not a word from you. And now I find out you’ve been living a lie with her?"

Lance stepped closer, lowering his voice. "It’s not a lie, Fernando. I loved you, but things changed. People change. I couldn’t keep living in the past. That was the only lie."

Fernando shook his head, tears welling up in his eyes. "You didn’t even give us a chance. You just left. Disappeared. Do you know how much that hurt?"

Lance reached out, but Fernando recoiled. "I’m sorry, Fernando. Truly, I am. But I’ve made my choice."

Fernando’s shoulders slumped, the fight draining out of him. "Then why did you come here? To rub it in my face?"

"I didn’t know you’d be here," Lance lied. He'd just told Fernando the truth and now he was going back on his words like he thought the Spaniard was some fucking idiot. "I came to watch Nikola race, to clear my head. I never expected this."

Fernando turned away, staring at the karts zooming around the track, a blur of color and motion. "I loved you, Lance. More than anything. But you made your choice. Do you expect me to just live with it?"

"I knew this was a bad idea. Tell Nikola I'll be waiting in the car" He muttered, turning away and rushing off, not expecting the Spaniard to chase after him, grabbing his arm roughly and turning him around, not wasting a second before crashing their lips together.

The kiss was fierce, raw, and filled with fourteen years of unspoken words and unresolved emotions. Lance stiffened at first, shocked by the suddenness of it, but then he melted into the kiss, his hands finding their way to Fernando's back. The world around them seemed to blur, the sounds of the karting track fading into a distant hum.

After a few moments, Lance pulled away, breathless. "Fernando, we can't..."

"Why not?" Fernando's voice was hoarse, his eyes searching Lance's. "Because of her?"

"Because it’s not fair to anyone," Lance replied, his voice shaking. "Not to her, not to me, and certainly not to you."

Fernando's grip tightened on Lance's arm. "But this, us, it's real. You can't just walk away from this again."

Lance looked torn, his eyes filled with conflicting emotions. "I have responsibilities now, Fernando. A family."

"And what about your responsibility to yourself?" Fernando countered, his voice softer now but still intense. "What about your happiness? You can’t live your life for others at the expense of your own heart."

Lance closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. "I made my choice. I have to live with it."

Fernando let go of Lance's arm, his shoulders slumping in defeat. "So, that’s it then? You’re just going to keep running away?"

Lance opened his eyes, filled with unshed tears. "I’m not running away. I’m trying to do what’s right."

"For who?" Fernando's voice trembled with emotion. "For Marilou? For your son? Or are you just trying to convince yourself that you're doing the right thing because it's easier than facing the truth?"

Lance's jaw clenched, a tear escaping down his cheek. "I'm trying to do what's right for everyone. Including you."

Fernando scoffed, wiping his own tears away angrily. "Don't you dare pretend this is for my benefit. You left me, Lance. You walked away without a word. Now you expect me to believe that staying away is for my sake?"

Lance looked away, unable to meet Fernando's piercing gaze. "I thought it would be easier for you to move on if I just disappeared."

"Easier?" Fernando's voice rose again, raw with pain. "Do you have any idea what it was like? Wondering every day where you were, why you left, if you ever cared at all? And now you come back into my life, tell me you’ve moved on, and expect me to just accept it?"

"I never stopped caring," Lance whispered, finally looking back at Fernando. "I thought about you every day. But I couldn’t see a way for us to be together without hurting everyone around us."

Fernando took a step closer, his voice softening. "I can't believe you still care what people have to say about you. Running away doesn’t solve anything, it just proves you're nothing but a fucking coward."

Lance's resolve seemed to waver, his eyes searching Fernando's face. "What do you want from me, Fernando? What do you want me to do?"

"I want you to be honest with yourself," Fernando said, his voice barely above a whisper. "Stop hiding behind your responsibilities and ask yourself what you really want. Because I can’t keep living in this limbo, wondering what might have been."

Lance took a deep breath, the weight of his decision pressing down on him. "I..." He stopped, expression changing "I can't do this."

Fernando scoffed, scoffing at the Canadians response. "I still love you, mi sol. And I believe deep down, you still love me too."

Lance swallowed hard, his emotions a tangled mess. "I have to leave, I need to forget about us. I owe my wife that much. And myself. And you."

Lance paused, swallowing the words desperate to come out, before walking away, his heart heavy with the choice he'd made. Fernando watched him go, hope and fear battling within him.

He was never good at keeping a poker face. Fernando knew straight away his Lancito didn't love that woman. His Lancito didn't love women. But this man wasn't his.

He didn't know who Lance was anymore and Fernando just had to be okay with that. He had to be okay with that being their last kiss.

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prettyboysdontlookatexplosions · 1 month ago

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i got in my target number of hours for the week! \o/ and the strategy of aiming for a couple days where work is really my main focus worked really well for me i think both in terms of actually accomplishing that and in terms of like... psychologically helping me feel at peace, freeing up room, etc. gonna try that again this week, aiming for 25 again... probably aiming for 25 until i'm "caught up" on being on track for my weekly goal which is set at an average of 20 and then... well i don't know then what. i was going to say then dropping down to 20 but maybe i want to "bank" some hours [which is kind of nonsensical but in practice would mean banking prep work and/or development hours which are paid], maybe it will depend on where stuff's at with the development project currently in process and also where i am financially and what my student load is... i did have two students this week (one very new, one semi-new) ask to switch to other tutors which is always a bit demoralizing (although the very new one had already switched from someone else so... not sure what she's looking for but i hope i guess that she finds it!). but things should still be fine... i paid my taxes and contributed to my IRA (LOL very funny week to do that "ha ha ha" ok going back to simply not thinking about the little red line) and am not like, broke suddenly, so... it's fine... i'm fine... i can even pay my quarterly estimate this week and i think still be not broke... it's fine. uhhh. anyway. 25 hours. chill.

it continues to be very annoying getting back into the swing of working out after being sick, both for like general habit-reforming reasons and because omg my hamstrings were so mad at me all week after that one leg day... but i did get 4 workouts in which is not the worst even if one of them was a low impact cardio day and another one was my favorite 20 minute full body day i did today just so i could say i got 4 instead of 3 lol. and i did work towards closing my steps gap wrt my annual goal! i am also doing pretty well at flossing which is cool because last year i really failed that one. i'm not reading as much as i want to be but i did finish playing in the dark. i also started, as mentioned previously, i'm glad my mother is dead, which is sooooo good so far (heartbreaking/enraging/etc.), and which i started because i was really struggling with sticking to my no scrolling before 10 policy most days so i decided to bring back Phone Book. it's tough because i actually do have a pretty strong experiential preference for physical books for anything remotely weighty... and i mean i don't actually want to read novels or heavy nonfiction in, like, 5-minute increments waiting for the train. but those snatches of time really do add up and it is better when i am proactive about filling them with something easy enough to dip in and out of that i don't mind reading on a tiny screen. so... easy to read but good nonfiction recs always welcome! i hadn't previously considered celebrity memoirs (which i would not really classify this as exactly but it made me think of them) but maybe i'll go on a kick.

i'm not writing as much as i want to be and it continues to be the toughest thing and the thing also that is hard to work on because i don't have anything i'm super animated about right now - i have stuff i'm sort of vaguely conceptually into but nothing Consuming me which is historically how i have done most of my work lol. i really... really... would like for that not to be the case FOREVER... but cracking that is a work in progress i suppose. i did add a couple hundred words to the (lol) yellowjackets fic which at this point i think is not going to be finished by the finale but which i suppose i have committed myself to finishing... at some point... even though this show sucks so, so bad now that it's literally crazy, i've never seen television go from good to sucking like this before ever. but it's the project i have that's like closest to being done and i just need a win after three months and counting of wheel-spinning.

this week i got really good mexican food with a friend & hung out with a different friend yesterday; this week i have some cute stuff planned too :) tonight i closed out the week by scanning workbook pages by watching the white lotus finale (i had fun!) and the livepod reaction from prestige tv pod. the earliest spring flowers are blooming which is nice to see even though the weather has been frankly pretty fucking horrible! (every year, april in new york somehow gets me... my brain just refuses to process it as a month that is often Still Cold.) i have reached part three of tender is the night which means i am narrowing in on the most sublime bits of writing in the whole thing (and tomorrow or soon i have GOT to post for you all the exchange about rosemary's virginity) and while i have a number of serious or seriousish books on the agenda i think probably next up is going to be the new hunger games prequel lmao. i cannot seem to train myself to go to bed at a reasonable time but while i do think it would be nice to have a consistent wake up time and for it to be earlier than like 10:30 as was the case one day this week it does not seem to be ruining my life at present.

#isabel 2k25 #bedtime blogging

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hearts-hunger · 2 years ago

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four weddings and a funeral — part six

Read on AO3 | Masterlist | Series Playlist

⮡ part one | part two | part three | part four | part five

Series Summary: You and Danny haven’t spoken in years. When the two of you stumble upon a week of weddings, funerals, and the hotel rooms in between, will fate rekindle your friendship or put the old flames out altogether?

Chapter Summary: Danny's your best and longest love, and you know you're his too.

Pairings: Danny Wagner x Reader | Genres: friends to lovers, slow burn, fluff, mutual pining, smut | Word Count: 5k | Chapter Warnings: smut (minors begone!), shower sex, unprotected sex, talk of birth control, piv, it's all very tender you know how i am

A/N: At long last! The end of Danny and sunny's fic, and the very last chapter of the very last cabin fic! It's kind of bittersweet, but this isn't the last we'll see of Danny and sunny or any of the cabin fic couples. I'm so thankful for how much love this fic has gotten, and I hope this chapter is everything you've been hoping for! ♡

It had started to rain when you made it to the restaurant, and you were glad to be ushered to a booth at the window so you could look out at the hazy, wet glow of the streetlights and neon signs of the bar across the street. The restaurant was quiet and nearly empty aside from two or three other couples, and there was nothing to distract from you and Danny and the space you quickly filled up with your own bashfulness.

You were grateful when the waiter came by and took your order. You weren’t surprised that you felt a little awkward with Danny now; you were way too in your head about all the cards being out on the table, and all the ease and familiarity you’d built with him seemed to vanish in a powder as soon as he so much as glanced at you. Wasn’t this crazy? Were you really on a real date with him? Had you really told him you loved him and had you really heard him say it back?

“Hey, sunny.”

You met his eyes. “Yeah?”

“Can you give me another vocabulary word for free?”

You smiled. “Your last one wasn’t free.”

“Oh, right, of course.” He pushed the thai tea you were sharing closer to you. “You liked to be plied with beverages, don’t you?”

“Yes I do,” you agreed. “So, what vocabulary word do you want? Or should I just give you a random one?”

He shook his head. “I need one for a specific feeling.”

“Oh yeah? What feeling?”

“Well, say you were sitting across the table from a really pretty girl...”

You gave a bashful laugh. “And what kind of feelings does that evoke, Daniel?”

He smiled. “Anxiety. Eagerness. A feeling like my heart might jump out of my chest every time I look at her.”

You knew the feeling. You turned the ring he’d given you around on your finger.

“Frisson,” you said after a moment. “That’s your word. It means... a thrill. A sudden strong feeling of excitement or fear.”

“Frisson,” he repeated. He nodded. “You’re pretty good at this sort of thing, sunny.”

He held his hand out on the tabletop and closed his fingers around yours when you put your hand in his.

“Hey,” he said gently.

You met his eyes, shy and so in love with him you could barely stand it. “Hey.”

He squeezed your hand and gave you a warm smile. “Good nervous, right?”

You couldn’t help but smile. “Yeah. Good nervous.” You didn’t regret anything, but you were so thankful that he understood how you felt. “I know it's silly. I’m trying not to be.”

“It’s okay if you are,” he said. “I am too. We’ll just be awkward for a little while. No big deal.”

“Ideal for a first date,” you teased.

He shrugged, a charming grin tugging at the corner of his mouth. “My ideal first date is with you,” he said. “So however it goes, I’m not complaining.”

Your food came, and you pressed your hand to the side of your bowl of tom kha and shivered.

Danny chuckled. “Are you cold?”

“I think it’s a psychological thing,” you said. “You know, warm bowl of soup, rainy night outside — it only seems right to be cold.”

“Well,” he said, around a bite of pad thai, “you have a perfectly nice boyfriend over here who’s willing to keep you warm.”

You blushed, but you couldn’t resist a little needling. “You should probably know that sitting on the same side of the booth is a dealbreaker for me.”

He laughed. “I’m with you, actually. Otherwise you’re having to sit sideways to talk.”

“Right!” you said. “And you’re both looking at nothing but an empty booth.”

“That’s what I’m saying,” he agreed. “I’d much rather look at you.”

You touched a nervous, fluttery hand to your hair you’d put up in a bun. “In all my shining glory, huh?”

He smiled, and there was something so natural and kind in it that you knew it was sincere.

“You kind of do have a shining glory right now,” he said. He looked around at the dim, quiet restaurant and then back at you. “The lights are giving you a sort of halo. Very angelic.”

“How angelic would it be if I stole some of your food?”

He pushed his plate towards you. “Please, have as much as you want.”

You sat in companionable silence for a few minutes while you enjoyed your first official dinner date. You thought of what he’d said about keeping you warm, what he’d called himself; you grew a little restless, feeling bashful and nervous the more you thought about it.

“Hey, Danny?”

“Hm?”

You toyed with the handle of your spoon. “You know what you said a few minutes ago? About... me having a perfectly nice boyfriend to keep me warm?”

He raised a brow, but the corner of his mouth tipped up too. “Yeah?”

You felt your face heat. “Well, are we... I mean, I know we said... but do you want to be...?”

He gave a soft laugh, but you knew he wasn’t being unkind. He took your hand.

“You don’t have to watch your words with me, sunny,” he said. “Just tell me what you’re thinking.”

You squeezed his hand. “Do you want to be my boyfriend? Officially?”

He ran the pad of his thumb over the ring he’d given you.

“Yes,” he said with a sweet smile. “Yes, sunny. I want to be your boyfriend, officially, and I want you to be my girlfriend, and I want...” He pinked. “Well, we have a lot of time to figure out the rest. But I know I love you, and I know I want to be your partner.”

You felt a thrill of pleasure at the words, and you loved that he was already thinking about your future together.

“Me too,” you said. “I love you too, Danny.”

He gave you a teasing smile. “You know, if we weren’t on opposite sides of the booth, we could be kissing right now.”

You bit your lip at the thought. “Tempting. Still a dealbreaker, though.”

He laughed. “I love you very much, sunny.”

You were certain you’d never felt happier in your entire life. “I love you very much too.”

You lingered long after you’d gotten the check, talking about everything and nothing; as he’d promised it would, the awkwardness eventually gave way to the comforting familiarity of two friends in love with each other. It was so easy and wonderful just to be with him, and you could hardly believe he wanted this with you as much as you wanted it with him.

Danny took the receipt, and when he uncapped the pen, you knew without having to ask what he was going to draw on the back of it.

“What are they doing tonight?” you asked, leaning forward a little to try and see what he was drawing.

He blocked your view with his hand, and you smiled.

“Are they doing something inappropriate?” you teased. “Please me you’re not drawing stick-figure sex, Danny.”

He smirked. “You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

You laughed. “Yes, you got me. That’s what cranks my tractor.”

He chuckled and finished his drawing with a scrawl of words across the top. He slid the receipt across the table to you. “There you go. Happy first date.”

You felt a girlish blush creep into your cheeks at that, and you looked over his drawing with a soft smile. He was a talented doodler, you had to admit; the stick figure couple was at what you guessed was a wedding, fairy lights strung above them and wine glasses in hand. They were giving each other a goofy kiss and a few hearts floated above them. The words stretching over the scene were from your Cat Stevens song — The wedding took place and people came from many miles around; there was plenty merriment, cider and wine abound. But out of all that I recall I remembered the girl I met, ‘cause she had given me something that my heart could not forget.

“I’m glad you didn’t have a lighter at the funeral,” he said.

You smiled. “Me too. And I’m glad we somehow ended up at the same wedding the next day.”

He grinned. “It does kinda seem like fate, doesn’t it?” He laced his fingers with yours. “I’ll go to weddings with you as long as you’ll let me, sunny.”

“Well, we’re already on our fourth,” you said, tracing an affectionate finger over your stick figure couple. “It’s kind of our thing now.”

He smiled. “Yeah, I guess it is.”

It was pouring by the time you got to your apartment, and despite Danny’s best efforts to hold his jacket over your head while you fumbled with your keys, you both ended up soaked. Neither of you seemed to mind, though, laughing and wiping the rain from your faces as you came inside.

“Could you call this a gullywasher?” he asked, brushing his damp curls out of his face.

You grinned. “Hey, you remembered! I’ll make a vocabulary scholar out of you yet, Daniel.”

You stood on tiptoe to give him a kiss, and though you’d only intended for it to be a quick one, he responded with such eagerness that you would have stood in your doorway and kissed him for the rest of your life if you could have. The two of you stood together, dripping onto your floor, completely lost in each other as the rain fell outside.

He put his tongue in your mouth, and your breath caught on a little whine. You felt his reaction shiver through his whole body, a rush of confidence and pleasure in his touch as he pushed the door closed and backed you up against it.

He let you come up for air after a minute, and his lips were pink and shiny from kissing you.

“Danny,” you said, soft, breathless.

He tucked your hair behind your ear. “Yes, sunny?”

You blushed. “I’ve never, um... never brought a guy back to my apartment,” you admitted. “I don’t really know what I’m doing with this kind of thing. I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to apologize, sweetheart.” He gave you a gentle kiss. “We’ll do whatever you want to do.”

“Well, but... what do you want to do?”

He cupped your jaw and brushed his thumb over your bottom lip. “Doesn’t matter what I want to do, sunny. If it would make you feel better to know, I’m over the moon to do literally anything with you. But what I want you to worry about is what you want to do.”

“You’d be down for anything?” you teased. “You're telling me there’s nothing you wouldn’t do with me right now?”

“Mmhm,” he said, a little distracted, pressing gentle kisses to your jaw and the corner of your mouth. “We can fuck nasty or go to Disney World or jump on the bed or decorate your whole apartment for Halloween. I don’t care.”

The laugh that bubbled out of you only grew the more options he gave you, and you were shaking with laughter as he kissed you again.

“None of those, then?” he said with a soft laugh.

You draped your arms over his shoulders and let him hold you. “Maybe we can find a middle ground.”

“Suits me, sunny. I’m gonna have to run to the store if we pick anything close to the first one, though.”

“I’m on birth control,” you said. “So you don’t have to unless you want to. Though I am surprised you didn’t come prepared for this trip.”

He chuckled, and his breath was warm against your skin. “Messing around with bridesmaids isn’t really my style,” he said. “And I wasn’t counting on you, sweetheart.”

You gave a pleased hum. “Aren’t you glad you found me, though?”

He smiled and wrapped his arms around you. “Yes, I am.”

He held you close and kissed you, and you stayed that way for a long while. You felt how it affected him to be so close to you, and you flushed with pleasure to know he wanted you, but it also made you a little nervous.

You worked up enough courage to tell him, or at least try. “Danny?”

He hummed and kissed your throat. “What is it, sunny?”

“I, um... I need to tell you something.”

He pulled back and studied your face, gentle and patient. “Okay. Tell me.”

You absently ran your fingers over the string of pearls around his neck, hesitant, shy.

He brushed his thumb in a soothing, repetitive motion over your hip. “Have you ever been with somebody, sunny? Is that it?”

You blushed vividly. “S-sort of,” you said, unable to meet his eyes. “I mean, I’ve... only a few times. Not many.”

You could count on one hand the times you’d slept with someone, all of them with a guy in college you would hesitate to call a boyfriend. He’d been pushy and less than gentle, and it had left you with very little knowledge of how sex was supposed to be. You knew it would be different with Danny; you had no doubt about that. But you still didn’t have a lot to go on.

Danny put a finger under your chin and tipped your face up towards his.

“Hey,” he said. “Look at me.”

You did as he said, embarrassed, seeing nothing but kindness in his gaze.

“We don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to,” he said, and you knew he meant it. “I’m not in any rush. I want you to feel comfortable with everything we do, and if that means we don’t do anything, I’m more than happy to not do anything.”

“I want to,” you said softly. “I just... wanted you to know that I’m not some kind of sex expert. If that’s what you were hoping for.”

He chuckled. “I was hoping for you, sweetheart. But thank you for telling me. It doesn’t change my mind about anything.”

You were surprised at how relieved you felt. “I love you, Danny.”

He gave you a gentle kiss. “Sweetheart. I love you too.”

The two of you made your way to the laundry room to put your wet clothes on to dry, and when you stood with him half-dressed in your dark apartment and listened to the sound of the rain and the gentle hum of the dryer, he asked if you wanted to shower together.

“No pressure,” he said. “And I’ll wash your hair for you.”

You smiled. “Deal.”

Under the spray of the warm water and by the light of a few flickering candles, he kissed you with a slow, patient gentleness. You skated your hands over each other, leaning into the intimacy that felt as easy as breathing. You let your hands wander, and you loved the little gasp you drew out of him.

“Sunny,” he breathed. “You don’t... uh, you don’t have to. If you don’t want to.”

You pressed closer and kissed him. “I want to,” you said. “Can you.... can you show me how?”

Even in the dim light, you saw how he blushed. “S-sure.” He swallowed when you moved your hand. “But I don’t — oh.” A little groan tumbled out of him. “I don’t think you need me to.”

You didn’t, not really — aside from a few gentle remarks to direct you, the only thing that came out of Danny’s mouth were words of praise and soft, lovely groans of pleasure. You’d never thought a man could be so beautiful like this, nor had you thought that you’d ever really enjoy it, but it was so different with Danny. You loved him and basked in his delight, mirroring his shudder of pleasure when he unraveled completely.

“I love you,” he breathed, holding you close and showering your face with kisses. “Thank you. I love you.”

You beamed up at him and rested against him, feeling his heartbeat hammer in his chest, loving the way his kisses were warm and gentle and deep with his affection for you. He lathered both of you with your peppermint soap and washed your body gently; he washed your hair for you, as promised, and he took his time to help you relax under his attentive touch.

You held his wrists when he cupped your face in his big hands and kissed you.

“Take me to bed, Danny,” you said softly.

He smiled. “Yes ma’am.”

You were still cold when you were toweled off, and Danny went to get his sweater from the dryer for you. You let him help you into it and snuggled into the huge, warm sweater, gladly accepting the kisses he showered you with as he did.

“Can we just lay together for a little bit?” you asked.

“Sure we can, sunny.”

You lay tangled together under the blankets, stealing gentle kisses, brushing your fingers through each other’s damp hair. You felt yourself warm to your desire, his gentleness and patience easing your bashful nervousness, and you didn’t stop him when his big, warm hand moved between your legs.

“Danny,” you breathed.

“Does this feel okay, sunny?” he asked gently.

You nodded and pulled him closer to kiss him. “Please.”

You felt his smile, and he kissed you and caught your moans as he worked his fingers slowly and skillfully over your heat.

“Danny,” you gasped.

“I’m right here, sweet girl,” he said, his voice low with pleasure and desire. “You sound so pretty, sunny. Can you keep singing like that for me?”

He made sure you did, drawing you to a languid high like a slow wave crashing against the shore. You shuddered underneath him, and he drew you close and kept you in his arms.

“You’re so beautiful, sunshine,” he said softly. “Thank you for letting me be with you like this. I love you.”

Emotion made your chest tight, and your voice was barely above a whisper when you said it back. “I love you too, Danny.” It didn’t seem like enough just to say it, and you moved to straddle him and kiss him deeper.

“I love you,” you said again. You showered his face with kisses, and he ran his hands under his sweater you still wore, holding your hips, tracing circles against your skin.

You cradled his face in your hands, and he looked up at you with nothing short of adoration.

“God, you’re so beautiful,” he said softly. “I love you, sunshine. Please don’t break my heart.”

A few tears did fall, then. He gave you a wobbly smile and brushed them from your face.

“Aw, honey. I didn’t mean to make you cry.”

You hugged his neck and loved the feeling of his arms around you, strong and steady and safe.

“I’m never going to break your heart, and you’re never going to break mine, and we’re going to live happily ever after,” you said. “I promise.”

He breathed a laugh and leaned his head against yours. “Okay, sunny. I promise too.”

You let him hold you for a while, and you only pulled back enough to kiss him. He propped himself up further against the pillows, and you gasped when you felt him against your heat.

“Danny.”

He chuckled. “What is it, sweetheart?”

“I... I want you inside me.”

“Okay, baby,” he said gently. “Lift up a little, and you can do it yourself.”

You blushed. “You don’t want to be on top?”

“I want whatever you want,” he reminded you. “And I think it’ll be more comfortable for you this way. You can go as slow as you want.”

You kissed him. “Thank you.”

He gave you a gentle smile. “You don’t have to thank me, sunny. I love you.”

You lifted your hips and slowly lowered back down, taking him fully, both of you breathing a choked sigh when you were settled.

“I love you too,” you breathed.

You rocked against him, and he kissed the sighs from your mouth as his hands skimmed over your flushed skin. The feeling of him inside you was unlike any pleasure you'd ever felt; you knew would never be able to tell him just how much you loved the intimacy and vulnerability of being so close to him.

He let you set the pace, but every once in a while his control would slip, and you shivered with pleasure when he pulled you closer and kissed you. It was slow until it wasn’t, and for all the gentleness between you, you felt yourself coming to your high with an almost overwhelming quickness.

“Danny, I’m — ” You gripped his shoulders, your breath catching. “I’m close.”

“Good girl,” he praised in a low voice, and you couldn’t have kept yourself from going over the edge if you’d tried. You were almost embarrassed at the whines that tumbled out of you, but he was looking up at you with such adoration and pleasure, and you’d never felt more beautiful in all your life.

“Sunny, sunny,” he breathed. “You’re perfect. I love you so much.”

You pressed close and kissed him deeply. “I love you, Danny.”

He groaned when you kept rocking against him. “Baby, you — you gotta stop if — ”

You hushed him with a kiss. “I want you inside, lover.”

A shaky breath escaped him. “Call me that again.”

You smiled and brushed your fingers through his soft curls. “Come on, lover. Show me how good it feels.”

He dug his fingers into your hips, and you felt that familiar pleasure wind tight in your belly again just looking at him. When his fingers started to wander, you were surprised at how eagerly your body responded to his touch.

“Oh, Danny,” you gasped. “I —I don’t know if I can — ”

“Yes you can,” he said, and the gravelly desire of his voice made your breath catch. “With me, sweetheart. Come on.”

Both of you came undone, and in the hazy bliss of the afterglow, you rested your head in the crook of his neck and loved it when he held you close.

“Okay, sweetheart?” he asked quietly, running a hand over your back. “I didn’t mean to push you at the end.”

You kissed his jaw. “No, I’m glad you did. I’ve never...” You blushed. “Not that quickly, anyway.”

You liked the pleased smirk he wore, figuring he’d earned the right to be a little smug, but it quickly eased to a warm, genuine smile when you kissed him.

“I love you,” he said. “Thank you for trusting me.”

You pressed a kiss to his shoulder. “Thank you for being someone I can trust.”

You kissed for a while longer, and when he eventually eased you off of him, he went to the bathroom to get a warm washcloth to clean you up with. His touch was gentle and chaste, and he pulled you close under the covers when you were clean and snug and sleepy.

He gave you a soft smile as you tried to keep your eyes open.

“Go to sleep, sunny,” he said softly. “I’m not going anywhere.”

You tipped your face up towards him. “Goodnight kiss.”

He did as you asked. “Goodnight, sunshine. I love you.”

You gave a sleepy sigh and snuggled closer. “I love you too.”

—

The morning sun was gentle when you woke, and though Danny wasn’t in bed next to you, you saw a small collection of things on your nightstand you knew he must have put there. You sifted through it and saw the doodle of your stick-figure couple from the first wedding, the seashell with the heart-shaped hole in it, his drawing of his drum kit, the photo strip of the two of you, and the doodle-covered receipt from dinner the night before. The last one was new, a bright pink sticky note undoubtedly from your desk, showing a drawing of a smiley face made out of bacon and two fried eggs.

wakey wakey eggs and bacey (bakey? how tf do you spell that?) it read, and it made you laugh. come get breakfast and a kiss!!

You carefully put the newest note with the rest of your collection in the drawer of your nightstand, slipping on a pair of underwear and keeping Danny’s sweater that you’d slept in. You followed the aroma of coffee and found your boyfriend in your kitchen in nothing but his black boxers.

You couldn’t think of anything to say, the “good morning” you’d had on the tip of your tongue dying a quick death as you were momentarily stunned by your incredibly beautiful boyfriend and your incredibly wonderful life with him in it.

He turned from the stove and seemed struck with the same wonder when he saw you. His eyes were wide as he took you in, a delighted smile brightening his whole face.

“Hi,” he said.

You smiled. “Hi.”

“I think I’m experiencing that vocabulary word again,” he said with a grin. “Frisson, right?”

You laughed. “Yeah. Me too.”

He leaned down to kiss you as you came close, and for a moment, the two of you lost yourself in kissing each other good morning.

“Coffee’s ready,” he said, when he finally let you come up for air. “And breakfast will be soon. You don’t actually have any bacon so I can’t make you a smiley face, sorry.”

You gave a dramatic sigh as you fixed your coffee. “What’s the point of even having breakfast, then?”

He chuckled and handed you your plate when you sat on the counter next to the stove.

“Sam and birdie invited us for lunch this afternoon,” he reminded you. “I didn’t say for sure if we were coming because we didn’t really talk about it, but we should have time before our flights.”

“I’d like to go,” you said. You didn’t like the reminder that he was leaving today, and you almost didn’t ask, but you knew you couldn’t just ignore it. “What time is your flight?”

“Four.” He glanced over at you. “I can miss it, sunny.”

You shook your head. “And then what?” you asked. The thought of him leaving made your chest feel tight, and you hid it poorly. “It might be tomorrow or the day after, but you’ll still have to leave.”

“Hey, hey.” He moved to stand between your legs, wrapping his arms around you. “Don’t be upset, sunny. It’s okay. We’ll figure it out.”

You bit the inside of your cheek and brushed his curls behind his ear.

“I’m sorry,” you said. “I’m not trying to pitch a fit. I know you have to leave. I just... don’t want you to.”

He gave you a sad smile. “I know, baby,” he said gently. “I don’t want to leave either. And I can stay for a few more days if that’s okay with you — I don’t have to be back to work until Monday. But even when I leave, we’re gonna figure this out. We won’t be long distance forever.”

“I didn’t even think about it,” you admitted quietly. “I guess because it doesn’t matter, really. I want to be with you even if we have to be long distance for a little while.”

“Me too, sweetheart.” He kissed you. “Should I stay for a few more days?”

You hugged him close. “Stay as long as you can.”

—

Just landed :)

You couldn’t stop the giddy smile that his text drew out, putting your phone in your pocket and looking eagerly towards the opposite end of baggage claim even though you knew he wouldn’t be there for a while yet. You felt like your heart might beat out of your chest, and you had to keep yourself from running through the whole airport just to get to him.

It had only been a week since he’d flown back home, and you’d called and texted almost nonstop since he’d left, but you were so excited to be with him again. You’d decided that you’d be together on weekends, when both of you were off of work, and you’d alternate between your apartment and his. When the school year ended for you, you’d make more concrete plans; for now, both of you gave new meaning to the phrase “living for the weekend”. It wasn’t ideal, but both of you were willing to make it work.

You checked your phone again to see if he’d texted you an update, but there were no new messages; you bounced on your heels and looked to the steady stream of people filing into baggage claim to get their luggage.

Then, in the sea of people, you saw that familiar broad frame and that dark, beautiful head of curls, and it felt like the fourth of July in your chest.

“Danny!” you called, all but running through the crowd to get to him. He turned at your voice, looking for you, and grinned when he saw you; he dropped his bag and caught you to him, holding you in a bear hug right there in the middle of the airport.

“I love you, I love you, I love you,” you said, kissing his face as he held you.

He laughed and let you shower him with kisses as he hugged you tighter.

“I love you too, sunny,” he said. “Are you happy to see me?”

You gave him a beaming smile. “What do you think?”

After a last kiss, he set you down and gathered his things, taking you by the hand.

“Do you remember that thing you said at our first wedding?” you asked as you walked. “When the bride was walking down the aisle?”

He gave you a bemused tilt of his head. “No. What did I say?”

You remembered how pretty he’d been at that wedding, all stained-glass rainbows and big sweet smiles, and you knew that you’d loved him even then. You’d loved him when you were kids and you loved him now, and you were so thankful for whatever thread of fate had brought you together.

“You told me to look at the groom,” you said. “You said his love was plain as day on his face. ‘The look of his best and longest love.’.”

Danny smiled. “Oh, yeah. I remember.” He put his arm around your waist and pulled you close. “You should be pretty familiar with that look by now, sunny.”

You blushed and beamed up at him. “Tell me I’m your best and longest love, Danny.”

He smiled and leaned down to give you a kiss. “You’re my best and longest love, sunny.”

You kissed him back. “You’re my best and longest love too.”

danny taglist:@tearsofbri@busybeingtrash@myway-late@gotavansleep@gretavanbri@stardustchxrds@pxppylove @mariegvf @bajabule69

fic taglist:@streamsofstardust

gvf taglist:@malany-gvf@spark-my-nature@eearevee@madneedshelp@demonrat444@josh-iamyour-mama @honeyandsweettae @mydarlingdanny@gretavandann@sacredjake@myleftsock@joshskittytickler21@hellowgoodbye@watchingovergvf2@fearfulspirit@mywaysoon@carbondancingthroughtime@caprisunsister @eraofstardustchords @sacredthefran@shesawomaninadream @serendipiti @demonrat444@wildflowerxx-x

@gvfrry@ohhey1293@the-chaotic-cow@mountain-in-springtime@xserenax-13@stardustjtk @brooke-gvf@weightofdreams-gvf@jakeydoesit@gretasmokerising@hayley1623@doodle417@finestoflines@brokenbellz@bowievanfleet@s0livagant@strugglingtodoshit@s-u-t@kay-jordan@gretavanfleas@jakeyboiiiiiii@gretavansteph@gretavanbitches@myownparadise96@luverleaver@weightofdreamz@greatervanfleet@maedesculpaeusoubi@jakekiszkasbestie@pineapple-photographer@baguettejuliette@alexxavicry@levi-wants-ur-bones@carlybubs@cowboysamkiszka@dannyandthekiszkas@jordierama@slutforsteve@starshine-wagner @quartzzzzzzz @edgeofdreams @writingcold @lostoverseer @catharu77 @mackalah

sorry if tumblr didn’t tag you — it’s stupid sometimes. but i’m real thankful for you, sweet peaches! and if you’re a new bestie and would like to be added to my taglist, check out the form right here!

#at this point i have no clue if my taglist works i'm just hoping tumblr is not stupid for once <3 #but ahh!!! here you go!!! i hope you love it!!!!!#danny wagner x reader #danny wagner fluff #danny wagner smut #greta van fleet fanfiction #danny wagner fanfiction #gvf fanfiction #four weddings and a funeral fic #maddie writes stuff!

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silenttale22 · 2 years ago

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HAPPY WITH YOU |KSJ|

BestFriend!Seokjin x Chubby!Reader Genre: Fluff, angst, hurt/comfort, stupid friends to lovers Warnings: Swearing(as usually ig, sorry!), some mean comments 'bout reader's weight, reader's pretty low self-esteem Note: Hi Sweetheart, thank You for being here! I'm back, and surprise, surprise - soon I'm going to start new story, like story not one shot and I'm pretty excited! So, I hope you will enjoy!

It has never been your favorite thing to rush through the hallway, with the students talking at such a loud volume that it overpowers the sound of your headphones. Irritating even more, as you couldn't focus on the next steps. But you were made to do it day after day anyway. Trying to get to whichever class was listed on the university's schedule. But with your luck, it turns out your university decided, during its most chaotic and busy period, to renovate every possible corridor. Making it a real struggle to move from one place to another, and often having to rely on luck.

The actually made paths became confusing as much as even you, with your forever spare time and fairly decent organization, could barely make it to the needed places. With the passing time since it all started, couldn't really count how many times you found yourself lost in your search for a classroom. Often end up in a completely different area of the university's corridors, enduring stares full of puzzlement because what can you do on a particular floor with a stethoscope slung across your neck…

By far the worst was when you by accident got on the athletes' floor. Then the stares were even more baffling, but you yourself at times didn't know whether they were completely ordinary - filled with pure curiosity, some kind of intrusiveness on their part, or fake at all. Because more than once you asked yourself whether you were sometimes making everything up.

That's why, in and of itself, changing and looking for the place you needed wasn't your only problem. Much more troublesome was the unpleasant dryness in your throat and the tightening feeling in your chest, where your heart was pounding like crazy - often echoing in your ears. So more than once you had to ignore the repeated dizziness while walking a straight path. Your brain was able to come up with threats from every little thing at a surprisingly fast pace, making it increasingly difficult for you to believe in the realism of any situation.

On this day, however, you arrive in front of the classroom ahead of scheduled time, trying to stifle your jumbled thoughts and send a brief smile in the direction of your department friends. Your feet lead you to the group on your own, with whom you stick more closely and greet each other as warmly as your mind allows. You were always glad inside that you didn't have to go through all those years alone but rather had that helping hand to get through college.

And it's not that you bitterly regretted your choice of major. Ever since remember you've wanted to become a doctor and help others. But studying medicine can be the worst nightmare. Exhausting you to the point where you fall asleep over your textbooks with tears dried on your cheeks from overexertion, not only from the overwhelming amount of material but also from the stress that builds up in your head. With each revision before a new class which you already had coded in your head as necessary, or learning extra information on your own because you couldn't help yourself, a silent scream of exhaustion ripped through your head.

Willy-nilly, you were an ambitious perfectionist with a poor memory and miserable patience, which didn't make things any easier - in fact, it caused even more problems. You were coping, though, so you could say it really wasn't that bad. In fact, sometimes it was even better than you might have thought. Having to sit and stress over the simple fact that you wouldn't be able to cover all the material in one night often took more time than studying itself, and only got you out of your hair, which you were overly tugging at as you read the next chapter. This made those same nights sleepless when even after going through the book's chapters you were able to stay up wondering if you surely covered everything again.

There were also times when focusing on the subject material came with more trouble than usual. Especially when your head became busy with completely different kinds of thoughts, and instead of studying the structure of a heart, you wondered why yours was crying so much for someone who would never be yours - or at least not in the way you'd like him to be.

Because it all started from nowhere, surprising even you that these feelings were bottling up inside you this tight. No matter how much you try to push them out with words it will pass. They stayed, hunting to this day.

And yes, you could have woken up every morning or just rolled out of bed with the mindset that all you could do, or maybe must do was care for him. And yes, you could have said from time to time that "he is your best friend and you really love him," or that "you are happy to have him in your life, and his smile is one of the reasons for your happiness," but you did it with knowledge, that words must stay at the friendship point. So the pain in your chest while saying those words, since they don't mean the same thing to him at all, became too much to endure.

That's why you, more often when you weren't spending time studying, would rather make up each night's imaginary and never-ending stories with your friend in the lead role without sleeping another night, only to have a hard time facing him the next day. But what could you do about the fact that you were attracted to his person more than you should have been? What could you do about the fact that the sound of his voice popped up in your head more often than you would want it to, especially his faint and addictive laughter.

What could you do about the fact that from childhood, deep in your heart you already felt something more than friendship for him.

Years passed, and keeping these feelings inside as best you could became an unbearable weight. But you weren't willing to lose the closest person you ever had. The person who actually knew everything about you. And somewhere in the deepest part of your soul, you hoped that maybe one day he would also feel the same. But you quickly cross out those thoughts from your head, knowing that it was complete stupidity.

His figure was quick to begin haunting your dreams more often than usual. To this point, you tried even more to avoid him. There were times when you didn't write back messages or missed conversations for a couple of days, explaining later that you were studying or had no time. So you usually delayed all meetings with him as much as you could as well. But you could have guessed that he wasn't stupid at all, and your behavior somehow made him suspicious.

Nevertheless, you still found it hard to look him in the eye.

But something inside you cracked, and it was slowly breaking you apart. Hurting even more than usual. Your thoughts kept coming back to the fact that someday - sooner or later you are going to lose him. Saying what you really feel, or most simply by his irritation with you.

Until then, though, you didn't crave much. You just wanted to be next to him, to love him silently, to support his every decision and his growing career. To be there for him when he needed you.

Just why did it have to turn out so destructive for you in the end?

"Oh, hey Y/N! You knew that the acting major has a class on the same floor at the moment? Jin chat us up, he was asking about you," the voice of one of the girls snapped you out of your instant musing, and your gaze fixed behind the window frame came back to her smiling face.

"Really? He asked about something or just for…" you began, but your sentence was half paused when your name echoed down the corridor, and when you peeked your head out from over the shoulder of your friend standing in front of you. Eyes wide open as a tall boy could be seen running towards you.

No more than a second passed when his long, broad arms embraced your body swinging you in the same way, and your stressed muscles melted in his embrace instantly.

"How is my favorite miss doctor?" Seokjin's voice came into your ear together with a quiet giggle from standing next to you girls.

"I'm fine," you murmured, pulling away from his embrace, causing a wry expression sent in your direction.

You ignored it, having your heart pounding against your ribs, making you even more nervous. More and more you felt the air leaving your lungs, and you found it difficult to catch a proper breath with each passing minute.

"Hey, are you sure everything is okay? You look pale, do you still have a cold or did you spend the night in the books again" Jin's hand quickly went to your forehead to check your temperature, which you had higher just a few days ago by running in the rain when you missed the bus back home "You said you had fully recovered" the boy's worried voice brought back a sense of guilt in you, making you nod quickly in the negative, saying again that everything was fine and there was nothing to worry about.

A look of dissatisfaction quickly comes over Seokjin's face. His facial expression immediately tells you that he is in no way convinced by your answer, and his protective posture appears even closer to your hunched body being ready to grab you as if you were about to lose all strength.

This was also one of the reasons why you were so willing to completely put your heart in Seokjin's hands. You knew that when anyone stole his heart, he would be able to give up literally anything to keep the other person safe. Place a heart in his hands, and he would protect it above everything else, giving up his health and soul so that things would be as they should be.

The truth was that you never really fell in love with his beautiful face - not saying that in the meaning that you don't find him attractive - it's more about the fact that you were charmed by his soul from the very beginning. His pure soul, ready to stand up to make those close to him feel good at all costs.

"Are you finishing at 8 as usual?" you nod quickly in the affirmative on hearing the sound of his voice, causing another beautiful smile to be sent in your direction "I'll drive you home. By the way, we'll eat something, it's been a long time since we talked."

"We talked literally yesterday".

"On the phone. It's not the same" you roll your eyes, but agree with him, and a moment later send short words of goodbye to disappear behind the door of your classroom.

But just as quickly as you stepped over the class doorstep, your head and inner embarrassment began to work at top speed. What was to you after all those studies about all those bones and the construction of the entire skeleton, when your nerves were eating you up from the inside at the very thought of having dinner with him? Apparently, this was nothing new. The shared meal was nothing new. You couldn't count how many times such evenings had taken place, but after the hot dream with the boy in the lead role that spent the sleep of your eyelids tonight didn't seem to make things better at all. Your cheeks burned at every mention of it, let alone having him sitting across from you in your favorite restaurant, sending a cocky smile really out of nowhere, not sure what it was doing to your head.

Usually, you succeeded in acting like a best friend, and called all of your behavior a joke, or completely ignored his silly questions. But whenever Jin's flirty jokes got in the way, or when a boy wanted to show you at all costs what their rehearsals for an upcoming college performance looked like last time - the slight more intimate contact between his skin and yours made your heart want to jump out of your chest. Lately, your only saving hand had become sarcasm or dryness, and yes, it often saved your awkward situation, but still, Seokjin knew you.

Looking at your exceptionally good faking, you could tell that you would be able to do amazing acting if you really wanted to - and got rid of your face before doing so, replacing it with the desired standards. This also became one of the reasons why you were so quick to cross yourself off the list of "perfect girl" candidates for Seokjin. You were no actress, much less a model - your figure was far from that. Your chubby cheeks, pot belly, and bigger tights in no way included you in this list.

It wasn't even a matter of you not liking your body - because that wasn't the case at all, you had gotten used to it and in the long run, it didn't bother you - but after so many years you knew Jin's type and you were definitely not that type.

“Yah, better focus on this freaking skeleton cuz I honestly don't feel like being called on that”a strong nudge was sent by sitting right next to your friend, making you raise your eyes and fix them on the presentation popping up on the blackboard looking at each and every bone in our body from head to toe, struggling to keep your eyes open through the boring voice of the teacher.

"Well my dear ladies and gentlemen, that's it for today. Tomorrow we'll see you for a lecture about more significant bone injuries and their treatment I also hope you'll keep in mind our, starting soon, week-long internship at the hospital to get not only a theoretical but also a practical look at the work of doctors."

"Yes, Professor," the group replied in agreement chorus, and then in an instant everyone got up to their feet, so you wrapped your textbook and empty sheets of paper in your bag with speed, in order to leave the room as quickly as possible after the two-hour lecture.

In the end, you were one of the last to leave anyway, being dragged along by the same person who so recently had been paying attention to you during class.

"I am desperately in need of coffee," to her weepy voice and sudden hovering on your shoulder, you responded only with a quiet huff and let yourself be led to the school cafeteria without any objection.

A few thuds on the automat standing there and in the hands of your friend there was a small cup with a dark liquid, which turned out to be more watered-down crap than a tasty drink, but what can you expect from such automats.

"What kind of idiot makes this coffee? Supposedly the best university in the region, and gives us nothing but shit. How is this going to support such incredibly talented young doctors?" you snorted with laughter at her weepy words, leaving you met with a death glare.

You raised your hands in a defensive gesture, but only another groan left the girl's lips, only to spew out another dose of whining and name-calling at everyone in the surrounding area a short while later. She only fell silent when you found yourselves back outside the hall, as you sat down on the chairs set up somewhere in the corridor, your gaze wandered off its own accord to the actors' group. You were quick to find a smiling Jin with your eyes, and a quiet sigh left your lips.

"Okay, you'd better tell me right away what the hell is going on again between you and a particular ham."

"Huh?" your confused look is sent in her direction but she easily stares back sizing you up.

"You've been acting a little off lately when it comes. At first, I thought maybe you two had a fight, but he seems more than okay," she slurped her coffee, without taking their eyes off you

"Must be your imagination," you muttered, pulling your gaze away from the group standing afar and fixing it on a slightly skinned wall in front of you.

"Oh, yea? Cut the crap bish. Lie to him, not to me. You're losing it, hm?" he sends you a friendly smile, but you only wince letting out an annoyed sigh "I knew it!"

"Stop it" you mutter under your breath, however, she sends you a duck sideways "Seriously give it a go, I'm trying to get him out of my head. It won't take long." A puzzled look gets shoved into your face

"And why is that?" one of your eyebrows wanders up as you finally look at the girl's face

"Huh? What kind of question is that?"

"Why the hell would you want to get him out of your head? Girl, you'd look so cute!" The female almost squealed, clenching her hand on the coffee cup, causing a small amount of liquid to spill on her pants.

With no waiting, you just rolled your eyes and reached for some tissues for her, which she accepted gratefully still cursing her misfortune under her breath.

"Listen y/f/n, I'm no model or actress. And we both know that's who Jin will end up with," girl groaned, rubbing the dark stain on his jeans harder

"But you're his friend. The best one. So…it's almost like being in the front row," she said with a smile, handing you a pack of tissues

"Exactly, almost. In the front row at his wedding, crying into my sleeve that it wasn't me." y/f/n this time clearly didn't like your sarcasm when she slammed into your shoulder violently, and a quiet painful moan escaped your lips. "And what was that for?" you muttered, massaging the hit spot

"For stupidity, cheers."

"Yea, cheers…for facts with a hint of bitterness, I guess," you muttered, breaking off the chat, ignoring all the words pouring out of the words of the student sitting next to you about the main theme - Seokjin when he has the opportunity doesn't take his eyes off you.

And if only she knew how much she was messing with your head at that moment. You were again lost in your thoughts and that miserable what if. At even times, the words spoken gave you hope that maybe your friend really felt something more, but on the other hand, how naive could you be? Your stubbornness and lack of faith quickly deleted the briefly growing thought of a positive ending.

So the next few hours of lectures quite quickly became a horrible torture for you, and along with overzealous thoughts you were haunted by a headache tearing your skull from the inside. And the breaks between classes seemed even worse, as the girl sitting with you didn't even the slightest bit understand that bringing up the same topic over and over again doesn't help your situation. Especially when at times you managed to make eye contact with Jin standing at the other end of the corridor, always sending you his most beautiful smile, always sending mixed signals that you had no idea how to read.

When your hour struck and the last sentence came from the lecturer's mouth, you get up lazily from your chair, barely keeping yourself from letting out a quiet crying moan. Y/f/n as if reading your thoughts, pokes you lightly on the shoulder to send you a smile and a raised thumb up but you only sighed taking your bag and going to the exit, where you almost immediately saw Jin sitting down.

"How long have you been waiting over here after finishing your class?" you ask with a raised eyebrow, seeing the slightly sleepy eyes of the boy, who got up from a chair at the sound of your voice to send you a smile.

"Exactly 2 hours, 45 minutes and 45, 46, 47…" the boy began to repeat, looking at his watch and nodding from side to side naming the seconds

"Jin" interrupted his brief activity, and his gaze met yours again.

His pleasant warm eyes shimmered through the bright lights in the corridor, and your heart clenched painfully in your chest as the realization that getting a grip on yourself around him was becoming more difficult with each passing day.

"Shall we go, doctor? I'm hungry and I've eaten all the fruit mentos," Jin waved the package, already empty, right in front of your eyes snapping you back to reality. "I was joking. I left you the blue ones, I know they're your favorite" he showed you another one, this time a small sack with the blue mentos put aside

"All licked?" you chuckled jokingly

"It's not like we use the same toothbrush at all," you rolled your eyes,

“Not the same” he snored as you took the bag of blue candies from him, and moved arm-in-arm together to the exit.

The sky, now covered in dark blues, was slowly revealing the brightly glowing dots that you always used to stare at for long hours. Sitting on the windowsill of a sheltered room when everyone in the house had gone to bed, and with hot tea in your hand, you would hang your legs out the window to get a better view of the sky, which was not as visible as in the countryside anyway through the city light. That's why you were often happy when you could spend the night at Jin's place, especially in the warm summer when you set up a tent with a transparent roof in the backyard to lie down admiring the constellations or shooting stars. With each one, the two of you squeezed your eyes tightly shut and made up a wish that would someday come true.

Just why now yours seemed so far away, and even impossible to fulfill.

"You need to come over again for a sleepover" Seokjin's sudden voice as you reached the car turned your gaze skyward, as he exactly knew what are you thinking about, "Mom asked when you were coming. She thinks that out of the two of us you are the one with the taste, complete nonsense by the way, and she needs help with some curtains" a quiet snort escaped your lips as you took your place in the passenger seat, immediately fastening your seat belts.

"I doubt I'll be able to make it anytime soon. I'll be in the hospital the next week and on top of that the midterms are getting closer and…"

"Listen, I know that studying has always come first for you…but I have a feeling, lately, that you…hell, I don't know, maybe I'm stupid. Never mind." He said quietly tightening his hands on the steering wheel to soon after start the car and drive out of the college parking lot towards a restaurant of yours.

At first, the road was quiet, making Jin seem even more anxious. The first thing you always did when getting into the car was to plug your phone into the radio to pick a song for the road, and it usually told him what your mood was. Because the music always spoke for you and he had known that for a very long time. However, this time there was a silence that announced troubles.

As you were able to catch a glimpse of the sparkling lights above the restaurant's entrance from afar, just after your friend stopped in the parking lot at a nearby park, a pleasant sense of nostalgia embraced you with warm arms.

Memories of a not-so-distant winter flashed before your eyes. The trees decorated with the warm hue of the lights and the falling of delicate snowflakes created a beautiful scenery, that you couldn't take your eyes off from. Until a snowball hit your head starting a huge battle between the tree trunks. A battle filled with lots of laughter and that childish carefree attitude. After which, with frozen noses and soaked clothes, the two of you rushed into a restaurant to eat warm ramen.

"Shall we go?" Jin's hand rested on your shoulder as you gazed into space, unwilling to walk away from the memories. Memories in which everything seemed easy.

"Yes, yes. Sorry," you replied quickly and turned on your heel moving towards the restaurant. It's just a pity that you didn't notice this sad gaze of a boy who followed you with insecurities growing bigger.

Taking a seat at the table was the easiest thing as the place wasn't so popular. It took minutes to take an order where you didn't even have to say what you wanted in detail. Seokjin knew your order perfectly. He knew everything. Almost everything. But his gaze fixed on your skin today was burning unbearable. And you knew that the very moment you wanted so badly to prolong was slowly coming. The moment when you're going to lose him.

Because, after all, friends don't look at each other for such long moments. Friends don't feel such a strong feeling in the heart when a brief smile full of care is sent. Friends don't bring you these pleasant butterflies that make you so happy.

And you were terrified by the fact that boy might actually start to realize that you don't look at him as a friend anymore at all.

“Listen” he started, making you look at his face after your miserable tries “I was about to talk about something else but first you have to know that, uh…I don't like it at all,” you raised an eyebrow to send him your confused look but he huffed “Your behavior. I don't like it.” your eyes widen, and you could feel the blood draining from your face.

Your gaze paused on his eyes for a long moment, not knowing what you should do. You felt the stress build up in your body, your heart pounded hard against your chest by the excess of sudden emotions that began to fill you from the inside stronger than in the past months.

“Wh-what do you mean?” your voice trembled as the words filled with anxiety came out of your throat after a short while

“I mean your avoiding. Your brushing me off every fucking time I try to reach for you. What's going on? You don't want to be friends? You found someone? I don't understand,” you couldn't run away, you had to face it. Doesn't matter how much you didn't want to.

“No Jin. It's just…stress…”

“Yea, stress…bullshit. Stop with these excuses, damn. I know you too well, okay? I know it's something that hurts you. Not just stress, school, or family. I know it isn't.”

“Listen, I don't know what are you talking about. Nothing is happening, okay?” he huffed, wanting to begin another sentence but the food was set up on the table and you immediately took chopsticks to fill your cheeks with rice.

“Easy there piggy, you will choke or something” sudden voice of waiter made your eyes widen, almost choked on the rice as the waiter said. And with your overwhelmed state, eyes started quickly watering.

“What the fuck you just said?” angry tone of Jin's voice made you swallow the rice down hard, feeling how it hurts your gulle

You just wish to go home and cry in your pillow.

“Sorry, I had no intention of insulting your…um, friend,” waiter said without any tone of regret, looking still with a somewhat painted dislike

"That's my fucking girlfriend and so you better call out your best apology if you still want to work here" your eyes widened again at his words, but you couldn't lift your gaze stuck in the table.

A mixed feeling once again popped up in your chest. Because why would he say something like that? Staying with the word friend was just enough…

"Jin, just let it go," you said quietly, hoping that everything would be over quickly.

This whole situation, this whole meeting.

"Sorry" The waiter nodded and quickly disappeared from sight, and Seokjin let out a low annoyed groan still wanting to stand up and hit him

"Y/N look at me" you glanced at him hesitantly, still trying to fight back the tears coming to your eyes "He's an idiot, and please don't cry. You're beautiful," and that was the moment when the real tears fell down your cheeks. Because you couldn't believe it. Not right now.

"J-just give me a moment" you quickly wiped away the dropping tears and got up from your chair "Gotta go to toilet."

You quickly disappeared from Jin's sight and slammed the restroom door behind you. As you walked over to the mirror to look at your reddened face in the reflection, unwanted tears flowed down your cheeks even more. That awful feeling of shame began to fill you, and honestly, you didn't know if it was this waiter's words that had such an impact on you, or rather the instant hope wrapped around you that Seokjin's words could ever be true.

You stared at your reflection and the only thing you wanted to do now was spit on it, as well as on your hopeless heart, which always had to screw everything up. As if it couldn't most simply find someone else. As if it couldn't pound faster for every other person around, every other person but him.

Quick splash on your face with cold water, glad that you had let go of any makeup in the morning when getting up for lectures, and after waiting a while for your maroon cheeks to turn a slightly stronger pink, you left the washroom to return to a boy sitting impatiently. He tapped out an unfamiliar rhythm on the table. Your plates were still full, his chopsticks still lying wrapped, untouched in the same place.

"Are you feeling better?" were the first words to leave his lips and you initially only nodded affirmatively while taking a larger sip of the cool water, which cooled you slightly from the inside. "I swear, I could just hit him."

“Stop it Jin, let's just forget about it” voice was still shaking but you tried to ignore it and take another sip of water “Just talk about the thing you wanted to,” you brushed off the topic, as you always do when something hurts but what could you do

“But…” you send him a quick look which was understood but he hesitated. Not being sure if can really just start the chat again.

“Please, just talk,” you mumbled, playing with chopsticks nervously, avoiding his gaze as much as you could

“Okay, fine then,” A deep breath was taken, which made you concerned. And as boy said another word “I-I like someone.” it became the words, that made the sound of a breaking heart inside your chest. Knowing now that every one of your stupid suspicions was false. Knowing that everything you used to overthink was now true. And even if you saw it coming, it still hurts

“Oh my, that's awesome Jin!” you send him the best-faked smile you can, feeling like everything inside from a living nightmare turned into a scary emptiness that wants to throw you into a vortex of eternal sorrow. But after all, you had to be happy, happy for him. To support him for as long as he needed.

“Uh, yeah…I mean, at first, I wasn't sure. I used to feel different with her but wasn't sure if this is it. But after some…behaviours, I think my heart understood something. And I guess..that, um, damn it's pretty hard to talk about.” he took a breath, and a quick sip of the water “When it hurts so much, after not seeing her, or seeing her hurting, it means I feel more, right?” he said struggling, but you just kept a smile on your face

“Well Jin, if you think you like someone, if you feel it inside your heart…then it must be true, right?”

“I guess so but, I don't think she likes me back. Not in this way.” you furrowed your eyebrows, wishing to beat the girl's ass without even knowing who is she.

“C'mon, who wouldn't fall for you?” words slipped off your lips faster than you thought and boy left a quiet miserable chuckle.

“Yea, you,” he said quietly as if you didn't mean to hear it. But you did. And it made you look at him with confusion.

“My word doesn't count,” you said, swallowing hard, starting to play with fingers,

“Problem is, it does,” you looked at him with question painted on your face “‘cause it's you,” he added, making your eyes widen and only a small ‘huh’ left your lips. But as a boy didn't say anything else, your thoughts began processing.

“Wait, what?” you almost choked on your own saliva, thinking that you're in some freaking reality show. “Stop joking with topics like that you idiot.”

“I like you Y/N”

“Jin I said stop joking around” you huffed, knowing how much he liked to do such things, yet he never did it…that deep.

“I'm not, really. I thought about it, a lot actually. But firstly I thought it was just momentary because we have been so close since always and all. But…you know, for some time when you used to have this project, heart diseases or something with this stupid guy…”

“Joohyuk?” he stopped, as you quickly said the name making only Seokjin look at you with a “you really had to, huh?” face

“Yeah, whatever fuck him. I…damn, it made me so mad. Like, why do you smile at him like that..huh?” his body was tense, fingers playing with a napkin, squeezing it tight from time to time in the fist

“Jin”

“No, shut up. I-I tried with my flirty jokes, I-I tried to, you know, came closer but you have always been using your fucking sarcasm, and as usual, I do find it funny, every time you rejected me like that made me think what the hell am doing wrong…”

“Nothing…” you mumbled, couldn't look him in the eye, because…all you did was on purpose. On purpose to not fall even more for him.

“Huh?”

“You did nothing wrong you idiot. I've been sarcastic because I didn't want to lose you.” his eyes widened, and you could swear that his face brightened a little bit because of your words

“Huh?!” you rolled your eyes at the disbelieve painted on his face, sight felt on the table

"I-I have feelings for you, and It-it was hard for me as I thought you'd never fall for someone like me. And I wanted to play it cool…so I did that..” started more mumbling than speaking, he still with painted disbelieve knocked on the table to make you look at him

“You did that on purpose? Are you stupid???” his louder voice made some people look in your direction, making you cringe inside

“Yah, better watch your mouth,” you said, kicking his legs under the table which made him let out a stifled squeal

“In what freaking ever possible way could I DO NOT fall for you?”

Your head couldn't process for a long while what was really going on and in what direction the whole conversation was going. You couldn't believe that all the gestures that you thought were just friendly, turned out to be something more. And your heart can do nothing more than dance joyfully inside your chest, yet your head is in the completely opposite corner of the room. It's tossing around hitting the walls, refusing to admit that this is happening. Pretending for so long, managed to get used to the fact that you would never be chosen. And your brain was always the one who spoke up, often not allowing your heart to speak a word.

“Like, in every way? Just look at me” you commented after a while but the boy snored looking at your face, as well as you couldn't believe that you really felt something for him too.

“Oh I do, I do look a lot and I can stop sometimes,” cheeks start to burn slightly, and when a sweet chuckle from Jin comes to your ears you don't know if you want to burst into tears, or happy laugh together with him. “Y/F/N never told you? She caught me too many times just standing and staring at you. Because, damn… you're so beautiful.”

“She did…did tell me about it but you know, kind of hard to believe,” you left a miserable laugh, already putting your hands on the table and it didn't take long for Jin to brush his finger onto yours and then grab your palm in his. “You know Jin, we're friends but like from different words sometimes”

“Doesn't change anything. They always say marry your friend, someone who liked you first and then fell in love because there's no one else who understands you that much. ” his warm skin on your cold hands gave you an instant burst of butterflies, and it didn't matter how much you still wanted to fight your feelings, it was too hard.

Because you knew, every freaking time you will see him, you will fall for him even more. “Y/n” you looked at him, and a soft smile melted your heart. “Would you like to be mine?”

“I…” and there was this hesitation, because what if this will bite the dust? What if those feelings aren't permanent? Of course they don't, it can all change with the snap of the fingers. But it was hard for you to refuse. Hard when he looks at you with these warm eyes, begging for more.

“I know you're scared, of course, I know. But trust me…”

“I do. I always trusted you. The same, I was always yours Jin. Always.” his big smile was sent to you, and a moment later he left a small peck on your hands, promising that he wouldn't let you down.

And you know he won't. But you're still scared that maybe it's you, who's going to let him down.

This is another time when you rush through a corridor full of students, somehow pushing past the protruding shoulders. Knowing deep that you are grossly late for Seokijn's much-awaited performance, for which you had been rehearsing the script with him for months. And all over again because of those unfunny renovations that had you feeling like choking the principals of your school soon.

Your passing exam from the main building was moved to a completely distant corner of the university, not to mention that the professor himself was late due to which everything sucked your time. And now you had somewhere this barely passed exam when you glanced at your watch seeing that the spectacle had already lasted a good half hour.

You rushed into the school's theater auditorium unable to catch your breath, but still ignored the burning sensation in your chest. You moved toward the security guard standing in front of the venue's entrance, trying to calm your breathing and trying miserably to find the badge you got from Jin providing you entrance to a special sector for close ones. Tears almost came to your eyes when you couldn't feel under your fingers the pink lanyard your entrance badge was on.

"I don't fucking believe it," you muttered and tugged the bag off your shoulder to get a better view of its interior. Luckily for you, the entrance ticket got tangled in your sweater, and with a sigh of relief, you pulled it toward the security guard, who with a nod let you inside.

With every effort, you tried to get to your seat without disturbing the people already sitting. Still, it was hardly without unpleasant whispers in your direction, which fortunately your nervousness ignored this time.

You finally found your seat, right next to Seokjin's mom who sent you her happy smile and patted your thigh when you finally sat down and turned your gaze to the stage to see a boy dressed in princely robes, stunningly presenting himself on stage.

Was this really your boyfriend?

Although you couldn't take your eyes off him, you saw that, despite his excellent acting, you saw that there was a shadow of sadness on his face that you suspected was caused by you. A sudden tightening of sadness emerged in your chest, wishing Jin would look in your direction. He could see that you were here supporting him with all your heart. Just like you always did.

"He was very stressed before coming in," you heard Ms. Kim's voice, and an even greater sense of guilt embraced you tightly

"I would have been on time if it weren't for the stupid professor" you burbled, in response to which the woman just patted you on the knee and pointed with her head to look towards the stage

And your gaze met Jin's, and a wide smile appeared on your face. You lifted two thumbs up to see the corners of the boy's mouth lift slightly and that uneasy weight from your chest disappeared. He knew you were here. He knew you were giving him support.

When the performance came to an end and a loud standing ovation filled the entire auditorium, you couldn't stop yourself from hopping from foot to foot to set off on a run to congratulate your boyfriend backstage. After a short while, you headed off together with Jin's mom, but she made it pretty clear that you should be there first so you didn't even wait and shot a quick smile in her direction to run right after in the right direction, waving in before the eyes of the security guard with a ticket, who for your luck, let you go in without a problem.

And you could already see Jin from afar. How could you not when his face was glowing in these warm lights. But when two foreign hands suddenly wrapped around his neck, and he was locked in a tight embrace, your feet stopped hard in place. Sharp pain appears inside chest. Her long dark hair reaching the waist swayed slightly, and her magazine-like figure looked gorgeous in the fitted dress. Slender modeled legs in high heels, in which she had to stand on tiptoe to reach Jin anyway.

Your total opposite. Sweet.

Your stomach did a flip, and a feeling of uncertainty gripped your body even tighter. As you stand there only in black jeans and a white shirt, with Converse on your feet. Again, that strange sensation of suffocating inside along with the difficulty of catching your breath began to burn painfully in your cage.

You are not this pretty…

"Yeah, thank you, Jia. So nice of you." he sends her a smile, with this handsome luck on his face making it hurt even more.

"You know I thought we could maybe…" Your head dropped down like a whupped puppy, and you were about to turn your back and leave but then his voice came to your ears

"Excuse you," he cut in on her words, making you lift your head, to exchange a glance with the actor "…my girl is waiting" he pushed her gently to quickly sprint in your way and put all his weight on you, wrapping arms around your waist and tickle you with his fingers.

Lips found yours as quickly as he came to you, and the temperature of cheeks changed immediately.

“Another time let this pretty head of yours think too much, hm?” his voice made you groan, and hid his face into his chest so he could hug you tighter.

“Can't help it sometimes.” you smiled, brushing his hair with fingers

“Don't I show my love well?” he whined

“Shut up, you're just too handsome” he laughed loudly, making your heart flip from this happy sound.

“Handsome, yes. Agree. But not as much as you, You are way too beautiful.” You snored into his chest at the words and even though it's nothing new, sometimes you just can't get used to it.

“I'm so proud,” you said, looking into his eyes now “You did so so good.”

“Thank you, darling, for a while I thought you won't come…” you bite your cheek from inside, saying a quiet “sorry but this stupid professor” and he understood. He always did

“By the way. Did you pass?” he asked suddenly, making you pop your head up from his chest.

“Got D”

“Aish, sorry” you chuckled only, meeting his surprised look “you don't look sad at all?” his brow snapped up, squishing your cheeks lightly.

“Cuz I'm not, and why you sorry? I passed, right?” You smiled again, it was hard not to when you looked at him

“But you rather A type of student,” he mumbled

“I don't care. You're my today, and forever A” only quiet “oh” answered you, and you couldn't hold back the laugh. “Listen, you were always for me, right? With every exam, every hard time. And I am always here to support you, okay? Always to make you happy,” you added, as he caressed your cheek and left another peck - this time on your cheek

“I know, and I am happy. To have you by my side.”

And you only smiled with this warm feeling inside your heart, promising yourself that you'll do everything to make him happy with you.

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