#i'm generally very bad at reaching out to people when i need help tbh

[a-god-in-ruins-rises]

listening to afroman's "because i got high" but i've never gotten high in my life

[always-just-red]

hihihi! sylus girlie here. as a college student i often never take breaks whenever im working and often stay up late finishing up assignments. then i stress out but never tell anyone and suffer in silence:’) i was wondering if you could do something similar with sylus x mc where mc often forgets to take breaks at the hunters association and is always the first the volunteer for missions so she could improve.

but then it’s starting to take a toll on her and is so so stressed, but feels bad about venting to someone or saying no to new missions.

maybe one day she’s doing a simple task like cooking herself dinner (or something) but accidentally burns herself and she just ends up breaking down and decides to call sylus and he immediately goes to her. :’)

feel free to decline or change anything! i just like the thought of someone comforting u when ur overworked and stressed bc i wish someone would do that to me lol.

Fast-tracked this one for you, anon! I'm really sorry you're having a tough time right now, and I hope this brings you a bit of comfort- remember, Sylus would want you to take care of yourself! Good luck with all your studies, and feel free to send in another request if ever you need it! 🥰

Technical Difficulties

Sylus x Reader 🩸

Summary: You're not very good at asking for help when you're struggling. Thankfully? You don't always need to.

Genre: fluff + comfort ft. a very domestic Sylus!

Warnings/Additional tags: stressed reader (has a lil bit of a breakdown!), some swearing, uses of 'kitten' and 'sweetie', Sylus is so soft here he should come with a health warning tbh

| Word count: 2.4k | Masterlist | Opt-in to my taglist here!

Disclaimer: Characters belong to Love and Deepspace. All work is my own, so please don't repost or plagiarise!

In the event of a wanderer incursion where evacuation of citizens is obstructed or otherwise not viable, association protocol 32.3-A dictates that you should first… That you should first… What?

Your pen is poised above the blank space where your answer should be. 32.3-A is a general procedure: something to do moving people to the nearest shelter. Or, wait— are you supposed to try to contact support, first?

You drop your pen with a huff and flop face-down onto the mock exam. It’s too much. Too much information, too much responsibility. Open textbooks are spread over your desk and around your head like an unholy halo— stacks of them, filled with codes and procedures. They’re supposed to be helpful, but they’re not; they’re drowning you.

Your phone pings and you glance up. Text from Tara:

Hi! Hate to be a bother, but did you finish glancing over that practice question for me? xx

Shit. You’d completely forgotten. You straighten, reaching for your laptop so you can load up your latest emails. You’ve got time to look over it; the exam isn’t for another two days. Breathe, ok? You have time.

Seven unread emails. What? You scan over them frantically. Two from the Captain: accepting additional mission requests you’d applied for. Were those both this week? One from Nero: you hadn’t sent in that finished report. Three from your colleagues, all scrambling for help with the exam. One from Tara:

Thanks for saying you’d look over this for me! You’re the best at this stuff!

Ok, so: Tara’s practice question. Nero’s report. Your own practice questions. Then… dinner? Maybe that should come first. You’d skipped lunch— had one slice of toast for breakfast. But you don’t wanna cook; cooking takes time, and you’ve got none. None.

Your phone is ringing, snapping you back to reality, and you peek over at it. Sylus?

“Hi,” you greet as you put him on speaker. On your laptop, you’re opening up Tara’s attachment.

“Are you free tomorrow?”

Always straight to the point. “Uh… yeah?” you frown as you read through your friend’s work. “Why? What d’you need?”

Sylus sighs through the phone. “That was a test, sweetie. You failed.”

“Yeah, well…” you murmur, highlighting a sentence with your cursor. “Add it to the list.”

The man doesn’t find that funny. The phone is quiet— too quiet. “Are you alright?” he asks, just as your gaze wanders to check if the call has disconnected.

“Mmhmm.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, Sylus.”

You stare down at your phone. He’s waiting for more, but you won’t give it to him. You’re one word away from slipping, and you can’t let the dam crumble, especially in front of him. He’s smiling from the phone call background: a photo he insisted would ‘ruin’ his image when you took it last week.  

“I need to go, ok?” Your eyes are shining.

“Ok,” he says softly.

There’s a bleep as the call cuts out, and the photo is gone. Waiting beneath it is another text from Tara, and one from Xavier: Nero told me to txt U bout a report??

You swallow the ache in your throat and slump down on your desk again.

…

You wake up with a start, your head ringing. The tangerine sky outside your window’s turned dark— your laptop, too— and light spills from your desk lamp, yellow on white pages. There’s more, and you turn, tracing it back to where it leaks through the crack of your almost closed bedroom door.

You hadn’t left any lights on in your flat. You hadn’t switched on your lamp, either.

Tiredness is dulling your thoughts and your senses, but you know you feel uneasy. There’s something in the air: smoky, but not unpleasant. You can hear something as well. No— two things. A faint, almost imperceptible hiss, and a more obvious humming.

Hunter instincts kick in. You roll open a drawer of your desk, snatching up one of your standard-issue pistols and removing its safety with a click. You stalk up to the door, your trained footsteps near silent. You take a deep breath, clearing your head. One. Two.

Three! You shoulder the door open, leaping through with your gun trained forwards.

At the other end of your sights, Sylus turns, an eyebrow raised. Your kitchen stove seethes behind him, and he gives you a once over as he sluggishly raises both hands. “You flatter me, kitten,” he smirks in surrender, looking between your weapon and his: a spatula.

You lower your gun, your heart still racing. “I could have killed you, Sylus!”

“That’s the spirit.” His hands drop, too.

“How did you even get in here?”

He’s turned back to the stove, and he’s using the spatula to push something around a frying pan. “Hmm…” he muses, then blink— he’s gone. He’s at your fridge a second later, materialising from thin air. “I wonder,” he finishes as he reaches around for something.

Show off. “You know how I feel about you telepor…” No. “Phas…” No. “Magic…king…?” By now he’s watching you over his shoulder. “You know— that thing you do.” You’re twinkling your fingers. “What do you even call that?”

“Magicking, yeah.”

You huff in response and he laughs, walking back over to where he’s cooking two steaks and preparing a salad. You’re still coming to terms with the fact he’s even here, looking... quite frankly ridiculous, because he’s wearing your apron. It’s too small for him. Baby pink. Frilly, too.

“You know how I feel about you magicking into my home,” you mutter distractedly, because actually? He’s kinda pulling it off. His sleeves are rolled up past his elbows, tight on his arms. “Use the door like a regular person, you psychopath.”  

“Where’s the fun in that?” He sounds smug. Ugh, he must feel your eyes on him; he must know. You think he’s toying with the idea of calling you out, but he doesn’t, and when he does speak, the smugness is gone. “Mephisto saw you were sleeping. I didn’t wish to disturb you. You sounded… tired. On the phone.”

Guilt twinges in your chest as you draw up beside him. “Is that why you’re here? Playing housewife?” You pick at a frill on the apron.

“Poke fun all you want,” he sneers. “This shirt costs more than your entire wardrobe.”

“Snob.”

“Ha.” You have to retract your hand as he threatens it with the spatula. “Watch yourself, sweetie. I’ll remember that the next time you ask to ‘borrow’ my card.”

You laugh gently. Now that’s a threat. You’re about to tell him so when you hear a ping from the other room, and your heart sinks. Just a single sound, and you’re back to where you were an hour ago, at your desk with the weight of the world on your shoulders.

Sylus hums in acknowledgment as you excuse yourself and hurry back to your workspace, snatching up your phone. You missed three calls while you sleeping: all from Xavier. He’s been texting you, too.

Nero’s yelling at me

Wants to talk to U

Can U pick up? Pls?

It’s one report, for gods’ sake. You feel your chest tightening again. You just needed to proofread it, but it’s probably fine, right? You wake your laptop out of standby; you’ll just send it as it is. “I’ll just be a minute, Sy,” you call out. “Need to finish one thing.”

He mumbles something in response, and you imagine it’s for the best you can’t hear it. Your keyboard clacks as you tap out a quick email to Nero, then you surf your files for the report he so desperately wanted. It should be… here. You attach it. Hit send.

Nothing happens.

Huh. You hit send again. Then again— still nothing. You groan, trying to back out of the email. None of your keys are working. Your cursor is stuck. “Oh, come on,” you release on an impatient breath. Switch it off, switch it on again? You hit the off button. The screen goes black.

With a sigh of relief, you wait a moment before switching it on again. The screen stays black.

“No, no, no, no,” you plead quietly, but it doesn’t cooperate. Your phone rings and you snap, hitting more buttons: Answer. Speaker. “What?” you hiss.

“Whoa. Hi…?” Xavier’s voice is cautious. “I don’t know if you saw my texts, but Nero—”

“The report, Xavier! I know! I know!” You try holding down your laptop’s power button. “I’m trying to send it, but my shitty computer won’t—”

“No way!” Tara’s voice comes in on the other line; did they both get the night shift? “Hey you! Did you get a chance to—”

“No, ok?!” you practically cry out. “No! Can you two just back off? Please!”

“Oh, sorry, I…” Tara sounds upset, then distracted. “Wait, Xavier wants to speak to you.”

“Are you ok?” he asks after a second.

Ok? You just want everything to stop. “I’m fine. Shit, tell Tara I’m sorry. I am sorry, Xavier, I just… I just need my laptop to…”

Work. Work! Nothing’s working. Half of your files are on there. How much of it is backed-up? Panic is setting in, gripping your body like ice. Your throat hurts and your mouth is dry, the dam is breaking and you can’t stop it. Tears prick at your eyes as you blink at the blank, hopeless screen. Your reflection stares back at you.

You let out a sob, expelling days of frustration and exhaustion. Everywhere you look there’s something you need to do, something you need to learn, something you need to finish. You can’t. You clasp a hand over your mouth, muffling your own cries.

Xavier is speaking— saying something over the phone— but you can’t hear him.

The light changes, and there’s a figure above you, lifting the phone from the desk. “They’ll call you back,” the shadow says. Sylus.

“Wait, who is this?” Xavier.

“That’s Skye!” Tara.

Your friends’ distant voices cut out as Sylus ends the call. He sets the phone down again, nudging your laptop out of view, then lowers himself until all you can see is him: his red eyes, softer than you’ve ever seen them. “Come on, sweetie,” he coaxes, guiding your hands over his shoulders.

You understand what he’s asking of you. His arms wrap around you and you hold him tighter, letting him lift you out of your chair. He feels warm, his skin ever so slightly flushed from where he’s been standing over the stove, and he pulls your legs around his waist, letting him carry you with ease.

With your face buried in his shoulder, you can’t tell where he’s taking you, and you don’t care. His shirt is going damp against your cheeks. You want to stop crying, but you can’t with the taste of your tears on your lips. You feel weak. You feel pathetic.

Something solid is behind you, and Sylus is setting you slowly down on the kitchen counter. He’s away from you for a moment— moving the frying pan off of the heat and turning a dial on the stove— but then he’s back, standing between your legs, standing close. You’re looking down until his hand is under your chin, lifting it with the delicate touch one employs when inspecting a flower that might break.

He shushes you without a hint of impatience. “Look at me,” he directs quietly, and when you do, he unrolls his shirtsleeves— drawing the cuffs over his hands so he can use them to wipe your eyes. “Now tell me what’s wrong.”

You do— you tell him everything. The hunter’s exam. The textbooks. The extra patrols you’ve been signing up for. The work you’ve been doing for your friends. The stupid report. The even more stupid computer.

Sylus listens collectedly, nodding his head and issuing the odd hum of understanding. He listens to all of it, and when you’re done, he pushes your hair back from your face with a sympathetic sigh. “Oh, sweetie.” A tendril is tucked behind your ear. “You should have said something.”

“I know.” Your gaze is still shy of his. “But how can I? I need to do this— be this— for everyone.”

His hands are on your cheeks again, drawing back your focus. “You’re just one person,” he says. “You— just you— and that’s all you need to be. You’re stubborn, and strong, but you’re not invincible. Even Linkon’s shiniest hunter is allowed to have limits. Everyone does.”

“Even you?” you snivel, setting him up for a quip.  

Nothing. He smiles. Shrugs. “Even me.”

It’s hard to believe when he’s staring back at you, oh so solid, oh so perfect. Always a picture of strength: of fiery determination or calculated coolness. Everything in extremes; nothing by halves. Except… his hair is slightly dishevelled from where he’s been working away in the heat. There’s a damp patch on his shirt. He’s wearing your pink apron, and there’s mascara on his sleeves.

Then there’s the way he’s looking at you.

It shifts when you finally look back. He drops his hands from your face and pulls back a little. “You do a lot for your friends,” he continues with confidence, but he’s rubbing his neck, “and they care about you. You should afford them the chance to return the favour. It’s only fair.”

“You’re right.”

“…Good.”

Perhaps it’s the fact you’ve vaguely composed yourself— or the way you’re watching him like you’re seeing something new— but he straightens self-consciously, rolling his shirtsleeves back up as his eyes go sharp: assuming their usual severity.

“You’re too soft, kitten,” he scolds, reaching out to tousle your hair until you’re glaring daggers from behind a curtain of it. “How many times do I have to tell you? You put yourself first. Always. No-one else matters.”

There’s quiet for all of a second. He can’t help correcting: “Well, except me, of course.” The apron’s crooked, and he flattens it with a brush of his hands. “Any time spent with me qualifies as self-care. You really should know that by now, sweetie.”

Your mouth curls, but you haven’t quite got it in you to laugh— not yet. Stretching his neck with two sideways tips of his head, Sylus returns to his post at the oven, where the meal he’s cooking has almost certainly gone cold. You watch as the stove flickers back to life. The man is humming again, and though the food might yet be salvaged, whatever melody he’s attempting is long-past recognition, let alone saving.

You chuckle to yourself.

And you can’t see it, but Sylus is smiling, too.

[ts-witchy-archive]

Hello! I've seen a bit of wiccan (?) things for a while, if I were to start I wouldn't even know how to start though. (my autistic ass does not leave the house and my mom would probably think it's weird to make strange concoctions of things) I also don't really know how deities work and how do you find out which one your communicating with? Tbh I've always felt like someone is around but whatever god it is seriously fucking hates me /hj Been better since I started medication but like the luck I have is 50/50 good bad and that is probably not normal. If you answer this it'd be very helpful.

Hi! Thanks for the ask!

I just want to start by defining a few terms for you :)

Wicca/Wiccan: A pagan religion that focuses on nature, magic and witchcraft. It was founded in the mid 20th century and Wiccans primarily worship 2 Gods which are personifications of nature.

Witch: Just a person who practices witchcraft. It's a non-gendered term and a non-religious term/practice. Not all witches are Wiccan but all Wiccans are witches. Witches can be absolutely anyone

Personally, I'm not Wiccan so I can't really tell you much about that but if there is one thing I know, it's witchcraft! There are many different places to start but I'm going to condense it down as much as humanly possible. It'll probably feel like a bit of information overload so just try to take it slow and relax. Enjoy the learning.

My favourite book for beginner witchcraft is 'Witchery: Embrace the Witch Within' by Juliet Diaz. She is a fantastic author and wonderful human. Everything about the basics of witchcraft you could need is in that book (imo). You should be able to find a pdf online if you can't get a physical copy.

As for youtube channels with solid content:

Harmony Nice: She covers everything Wicca. She has a playlist with all her Wiccan/witchy content witch is linked here

The Witch of Wonderlust: Olivia has been a favourite witchy youtuber of mine for a while. I wouldn't recommend jumping into her videos without any prior knowledge but once you have a grasp on the bare bones it should be okay. Here is a playlist she made with everything you could possibly need when beginning witchcraft. SOrt through the videos and see what peeks your interest.

The Hearth Witch: Another wonderful account if I remember correctly. Her videos used to be on the longer end (30-60mins) so if you have a short attention span then maybe not but she has a wealth of information.

I also recommend joining a few discord servers, following a few pages on tumblr just to get acquainted with the community and terminology.

Okay, on to the deity work situation. Deity work is generally considered more intermediate in the witchcraft community. key words being 'Deity WORK'. Worship is completely fair game. Setting up an altar, praying, leaving offerings, doing activities in devotion to the deity is absolutely something you can do relatively quickly.

As for IDing a deity, most people do it through 'divination' which is things like tarot, a pendulum, dice, bone throwing, and other ways. Most people also ask for signs that a specific deity is 'reaching out' to them or wants them to pay attention. You can also politely ask someone who is volunteering their time on tumblr or a discord server to find out for you via divination. If they don't say their doing free readings, obviously, don't ask.

Finally. luck is luck. It makes no sense for a literal God to hate a human. We all have periods of shitty luck and awesome luck! I wouldn't blame that on anything. Sometimes bad things just happen unfortunately. But sometimes amazing things also happen, even if it's just as small is finding 5 cents on the footpath.

That was so long. Congrats if you made it to the end because I nearly didn't when writing this. I hope this helped a bit. Feel free to reach out if you need a hand with anything. Thanks :)

[cerealmonster15]

i'm not really into making new years resolutions, mostly bc i know the way that i am and that my attention span flutters around and i tend to cycle through interests in phases that come and go at random, but i do think it would be nice to give instrument practice a try again since i have SEVERAL and only really learned the basics on some. plus my partner has others ive never learned. it would be nice if i would actually take time to learn something to the point i could do something with it lol.

instruments, and also languages again. but specifically refining what i know of spanish. a few years ago, i'd hit the point where i wasnt quite bilingual, but i was somewhat close to that mark. i could practice talking to my dad [spanish is his first language] on the phone and hold decent conversations, and i'd gone with a few of my classmates in high school one summer on a sort of exchanged program we had with a school in spain for a few weeks, and i could fumble my way through conversations with my host family parents who didn't really speak english. [it was a bilingual school so the students def knew english better than we knew spanish lol but i still learned a bit and it was really fun]

but u know what they say... use it or lose it... i've gotten rusty for sure 😔 i took spanish in middle/high school for like five years? up to ap spanish senior year, which our teacher said youre essentially fluent by then, plus in elementary school we always had basic spanish classes. i was going to try and minor in spanish in college, but i was kind of overloading myself that first year and was also STRUGGLING to keep up with the reading for spanish class. i already am a slow reader just in general [i would also struggle to keep up with reading assignments in english classes so it was extra hard in a language i was still trying to grasp] so i ended up dropping the minor pretty quickly after i'd had i think the semester requirement. i was bummed, but i needed to keep my head afloat with what i could handle.

but then i really wasnt using it as much. my dad's pretty much the only person in my life that's a spanish speaker - he and his whole family are bilingual, but i'm not very close to his side of the family and theyre spread out all over the place anyway. my dad and i also have a complicated realtionship sometimes lol but also over time we stopped speaking in spanish as much. fairly recently when he called me he started speaking in spanish, and i was like, in the middle of something when he called me and not really in the mood to talk anyway, plus i just couldnt hear him well on the phone lol so i was like ??? and he just kinda laughed and was like ohhh youve lost it, you dont remember 😌 and ive been in kind of an internal crisis since then lol

my parter also said the other night there was a family outside that asked him for directions but they only spoke spanish so he kinda had to fumble his way through it, and he was like "you probably woudlve done better" cause while we both learned some degree of spanish and have a mixed latino family background, i learned and used it a bit more for a time. but tbh i dont think i wouldve been able to help!!! bc ive forgotten a lot!!! it's one of those things where like i think i could probably recall a lot once i had it refreshed, but pulling from memory is like... dial tone.... and also the social anxiety is a major thing. like i always really wanted to reach the bilingual state because i do like that part of my culture, and i know a lot of my family on my dad's side grew up bilingual but i didnt really because blah blah parents divorced whatever it's complicated lol. but i wanted to keep that connection to the family culture and also just because i think it's good for people to learn multiple languages [i know other countries seem to be better at this at a base level, but here in the US it's not as much of a standard]

but i'm really bad at like, all the things you need to learn a language, even in my native english state. i'm slow at reading. i get distracted. i dont have great listening comprehension if i cant hear you perfectly clearly or there are overlapping sounds. i have social anxiety and often avoid talking to people.

you gotta read to learn. you gotta hear words to learn. you gotta have conversations to practice. ive met bilingual people whose native language is spanish and theyd always be nice and be like "oh you can always practice with me sometime!" and id be like ahahhahfhsd i will die if i do that. because im scared at being bad or really embarrassed at how much ive forgotten. so like i had chances and wouldnt use it lol. my own fault for not being proactive =_=

a few weeks ago i did once again try that method of like, playing video game in target language. i switched my animal crossing new leaf game to spanish and made a new character. that was fun, tho it also was a lot of reading and a mix of me trying to get the gist of what they were saying and having to pause and look up words if there were too many i didnt know. i think i had that same issue when i did it a while back with city folk lol it was just kinda overwhelming for me at the time and messed with the FLOW. but i think i also tried that back in high school so i think i could do a lil better now, but still.... slow.

i also was doing duolingo again for a while, but i'd heard they started using AI in their lessons and i really didnt want that to potentially have me learning things wrong without realizing based on the things i heard people saying about shit they were finding in their lessons. but ive never tried any of the other language learning app or whatever tho so i kinda just came to a halt after that. which sucks!!! because it was at least keeping me lightly practicing!!! i was learning a lil portuguese that way too for capoeira since we were doing songs and it helped that i knew spanish, but for now i think i'd be nice to just focus on one lol.

[dykeulous]

reading your blog and i've been thinking about not being a radblr lurker anymore and actually making a side account... but i am also ftmbutch post-top + on hormones (partially a physical dysphoria thing partially a genuine DSD* health thing) and i honestly am not sure if i can openly exist like that on radblr? like i'm fully female-identified but i genuinely enjoy being a more masculinized female for Scary Dyke Purposes.

(i am not going to halt or reverse anything and on the rare occasions i do "pass" as a male i literally just take advantage of it to help other females lol. but i'm not really detrans/detrans-aligned and tbh i would have gotten breast removal regardless of dysphoria because cancer runs in the family and that shit is scary!)

i'm not sure how good that goes over in the current era tho. i tried poking my head in around the beginning of 2020 but it was not. great. should i try that again now you think??? i'm a super lonely dyke and i honestly just want a blog where i can be open and not get speared by people for talking about feminism + using the labrys lol

*i prefer this language when i discuss my condition specifically so no one jump dykeulous for this or call me self-hating. i socially consider myself intersex as a category but i also have a DSD. everyone be so normal about this please and thank you

hello! i am glad you reached out to me.

you should put your own needs & wants first, before anything else. radblr can get very toxic & at times extremely nasty. it has a very horrible reputation & for a very good reason. intersexism, ableism, gncphobia, racism, hatred against detrans folk, and even just regular misogyny run free…… but there are good corners of it. if you surround yourself around the right people, and do your best to ignore the trolls & bad faith people, you should be okay. radfems also face a lot of harassment from “the other side” (tras) on here, and sometimes it even escalates into straight up death & rape threats, even if you generally try your best to be diplomatic. so be safe. that is the most important thing. there are horrible, horrible people on both sides– if it ever gets too much, feel free to leave. your mental health is the most important & you shouldn’t feel pressured to stick around a group that makes you feel bad.

… they hate nuanced folk on tumblr over here …

[rarepairronpa]

Okay now I'm curious: what are your thoughts on Hajime/Junko? I haven't thought much about them yet, I need to read more about them tbh

OH BOY, YOU'VE UNLEASHED A BEAST.

Okay, so. There's two ways to ship this ship: with pre-canon Hajime, and with post-canon Hajime. Imo, both dynamics end up pretty differently because Hajime goes through a lot in the series that changes him.

To talk about post-canon Hajime/Junko (which is my favorite flavor of this ship), I first have to talk about Izuru/Junko.

As I see Izuru/Junko, it's one sided on Junko's side (for the most part). What Junko likes about Izuru is that he understands her. He's the only one who does. But Izuru doesn't accept her; he rejects her. Which... paradoxically, makes Junko like him more. Junko sees herself in him, in his emptiness, his boredom, and she wants to fill him with her despair, with despair in general, because that, to her, was her salvation. It comes from a kind place- she sees herself in him, wants to help him, but he looks at her despair and her ideology and doesn't buy it. Doesn't buy what she's selling, not completely. He wonders outright whether she or Chiaki is right; whether hope or despair will win. He doesn't accept her. He doesn't care enough to. Why should he? He knows full well that she is using him.

Post-canon, Hajime cares. He cares so much, but apart of him is still Izuru, and that part of him understands Junko in a way no one else could. Pre-canon, Hajime would be baffled by Junko, but post-canon... He Gets Her. He gets her more than anyone ever has. He has the best understanding of her, and now he has the capacity to look back at all their interactions in the past and attach to them. Junko was the only one there for him as Izuru, and I do think that could leave a mark on Hajime.

He has Izuru's understanding, and he has Hajime's care and love- which adds up to... being the Perfect Guy for Junko. Being what I think Junko secretly wanted (though she delighted in being denied): someone who understands and then accepts her.

Post-canon Hajime, obviously wouldn't Agree with Junko and her whole despair thing, but he'd Understand it. He'd get why she'd develop such a maladaptive coping mechanism. Because he's been there. He knows what tedium and boredom feels like.

Hajime Hinata, post canon... is literally the perfect person to understand and care about Junko.

And yet, it's too late. She's dead. She'll never know that he came to accept her (though not agree with her), that he came to care.

I really like that conflict. Post canon, Hajime is a very understanding guy, because we see that Hajime from the beginning was very empathetic and cared a lot about people (just look at his FTEs with everyone), but he had a hard time understanding people- especially confusing people like Nagito. But now that he remembers being Izuru, he has more tools to understand people. Which boosts his empathetic nature even more. So, as I see it, while pre-canon and simulation Hajime are prone to get frustrated and sometimes lose his temper when faced with things he doesn't understand, post canon Hajime sort of... bypasses this. By understanding immediately. So, he sort of mellows out post canon (imo) and becomes extra understanding and empathetic.

To the point that it extends to even Junko. Especially given the fact that he's been where she was- bored of the world, wanting to watch it burn.

This... is something I think he'd keep to himself. Junko is already dead, and she hurt his friends. There's no reason to bring up his feelings for her when it would only upset everyone. He's very objective about it. He knows she was bad for everyone, and has no real urge to defend her, just a quiet secret he keeps in his heart that they were more similar than his friends would like to admit. A quiet, unspoken love and understanding for her that he's only found in hindsight.

In a situation where Hajime reaches this point with Junko alive, I imagine he just... neutralizes all her plans. And it becomes a game between them, with Junko trying to cause harm and Hajime defusing whatever she did. I think this could genuinely be fun for Junko; trying to get around the Ultimate Talent. Though it may get frustrating at some point.

Pre-canon, I'm less invested, as I feel like it would just be Hajime being baffled by her... and then horrified. Which is fine, but post-canon dynamics appeal a lot more to me.

I actually did a bunch of Junko shipping charts on my main blog, which included Hajime and Junko. I think they are So Neat.

Edit: Oh! And I've actually written about this ideal Hajime/Junko dynamic of mine in hurt people? hurt people!

I also feel like I should mention another possible angle I forgot about when making this post: despair!Hajime. I feel like that has the potential to be very interesting, since pre-canon/HPA Era Hajime has a lot of problems to manipulate. And he could have very easily been apart of the reserve course riots if he never accepted the Izuru project. A lot more toxic than my ideal dynamic, but definitely an interesting angle to explore if nothing else.

[prettyboykatsuki]

hewwo fang i'm an only child entj pls analyze sjdfhjo

nice to meet you bakugou JSDHJSDK

tbh there's nothing i can reveal to you about yourself that the emotional arc of bkg has not already but i will do my best.

entjs are known for being pragmatic, somewhat rigid, and hard-working. all of these things are true and show up in entjs extremely early on in childhood. entj children are known for enjoying specific roles of leadership and actively enjoying taking them on. entj young girls are often called bossy. things like class leader and hallway monitor and other things probably called on you a lot.

as you are pragmatic from childhood, you are also generally gifted with understanding systems and concrete steps. knowing how you need to get where you need to go is an extremely natural skill for entjs. contrarily though, you also recognize very quickly what things are working and what not. you work systematically but that only works well with your system since you believe it to be the most efficient. and it often is actually. your ability too see inefficiency and replace it with something better makes you a valuable asset in many aspects in your life but also makes you insanely stubborn on certain aspects of yourself.

and while you are gifted at working hard, you lack emotionall awareness. there are few aspects of you that are flawed on paper. a lot of entjs also have some talent at athletics. however your introverted feeling is your last function and largely your worst. in childhood this manifests as being abrasive while also (unintentionally) cruel

your cruelty is not rooted in some sort of sadism, rather a lack of awareness of your own emotional state and underlying sense of inadequacy in the face of failure, big or small. your critiques of others are accurate but accusatory and a shield to your own emotional flaws. as you get older though, these outbursts of cruelty and not keeping them in check become a heavy weight. depending on the kind of entj you are, you can either respond to this by growing or enforcing this habit of violence.

most entjs in my experience grow up to become incredibly sympathetic and emotionally aware people as a result of these circumstances and carry around the weight of these failures in their upbringing with great sincerity which i admire. eventually even entjs hung up on their own anger and resentment reach it but often it is too late. a resentful entj tends to reach a level of extremity and outbursts that makes them well and truly unbearable.

entjs, hilariously, most often are compatible to people fundamentally different from them and don't like being around their own type. you would assume they like strict, pragmatic types but they actually generally prefer highly emotional types with a sort of artsy vibe about them and this makes their friend groups very funny. this often extends in partners. entjs are naturally independent and thus prefer being around partners that can in some way relax them - which are usually more feeling types. not to say other relationships can't work, but that this pattern appears most often.

entjs are talented with pin-point accuracy in their assessments of everything, including themselves so they are unbearably harsh on themselves and their internal monologue is very negative while also being very self-assured. they are often walking contradictions but are also extremely firm about only doing things that they want to do so this flaw mostly results in needing someone to help draw them away from themselves as opposed to them getting involved in bad situations. you are likely a very precautions type.

most entjs are strict in some sense of the word and that includes having high expectations for their loved ones. if a entj wants you besides them they will also go out of their way to check in on you, reassure you, and cultivate your talents and will go much farther in supporting your aspirations then virtually any other type. they struggle to apologize even when they understand that they are wrong as they can be prideful.

to me i think you should mostly keep in mind that there will always be plenty of time for you to work but you need to vaction sometimes. throwing yourself head first into your goals is admirable but you will have left so many relationships behind if you persist down that path forever. don't feel embarrassment when you try to get more in tune with yourself in writing and allow yourself to admit that it's nice to be cared for sometimes as opposed to always caring for someone else. it is a not a character to flaw to be a human with needs and not a machine.

you are also more charismatic than you are giving yourself any credit for i can guarantee.

[ofmermaidstories]

Hello!! Not so controversial, but personally, I think the wave of villain!Deku absolutely ridiculous. Sure, the story might be good and I'm not saying these authors are doing a bad job, it's just that Izuku as a character would never think of becoming a villain, despite his quirklessness. His whole character revolves around helping people and being kind, especially because he knows how cruel the world can be. So, those villain origin stories will never make sense, unless you practically strip him of his core and beliefs in the first place. Considering that, the vigilante!Deku fics make much more sense, especially if you want him to be morally ambigious but still Izuku at his core, helping people despite going against the law.

And tbh, I understand that fanfics are supposed to show an alternative to multiple situations, but I think there's a boundary within that, because getting rid of what makes that particular character interesting/special is just taking that character wholly out of the equation, and rather making an OC with the same name.

To add to that, someone should absolutely change the plot or minor characterizations to fit into whatever you got planned, this is why AU's are popular. And as long these variations stay true to the core of that character, it only can turn out amazing!! Sadly, that's what a lot of villain!Deku fics miss, and in turn I never can enjoy them without feeling the sense of grief and wrongness.

Man, I'm sorry for this, it turned out longer than I wanted it to be hahaha

No! I love it! And I agree. 🥺 Like, I can appreciate a Villain!Deku AU as something fun to explore a really popular what-if—but how they handle Izuku in general will make or break it for me. 😕 What I have always liked about Deku is his selfishness, when it comes him wanting to be a hero—he wants to be a hero! Quirkless or no! He wants to be like All Might—to reassure people and tell them he’s here, that he’s reaching out to them! Vigilante!Deku honours that a little, like you say, because he’s still Izuku at his core. But I think Villain!Deku fics tend to fall under the same umbrella that any kind of revenge (bakugou/consequences for example) fic does, for me; in that it’s kind of missing the point, LOL.

I will fight tooth and nail for people to be allowed to write or characterise whatever and however they want; but I agree with you in that at a certain point you, as a reader, will come to a threshold that you have to decide if are you reading fanfiction, still, or just fiction (that’s vaguely familiar)? And!! Here’s the thing!!! Humans are pretty forgiving readers, I reckon. And we also like things to be familiar to us (like tropes! cliches! fanfiction in general!!!). Villain!Deku is fun in his own way—all that violence and anger, packaged up in a character that otherwise would be repulsed by it. I can see how he’d be popular for like, yandere tropes, or other dark content.

I just—I like it when Deku has his goodness. 🥺 His self-sacrificing need to help others. Villain!Deku inherently involves a lot of sadness—being cast aside, neglected, hurt, whatever is used to push him there. 🥺 And I think it’s very much a matter of, “your mileage may very” when it comes to wanting to read/engage/write that, and what that does to his characterisation.

[singingcookie]

Fanfic Q&A!

Thank you for the tag @encyclopika, sorry I'm oh so very late getting back to it 😅

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

Good question uhhhh 55???? That seems like way more than I thought it would be....

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

523,858 words! Granted over half of that is just my slow burn story so lol

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Primarily I've written for My Hero Academia (40 out of the total 55). But I've also written for Kingdom Hearts, The World Ends With You, and more recently Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild/Tears of the Kingdom.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Oh that's a good question let's see...

Drops of Jupiter (829)

A Princess's Dilemma (381)

Within Arms Reach (378)

One Plus One Does Not Equal a Date (Probably?) (303)

I Roll to Seduce (296)

I'm...genuinely shocked one of my LoZ fics is up there??? And so high??? 1, 3, 4, and 5 are all from my hero fanfics which is not surprising and most of them are super old. Number 2 I only posted in June and it was my first fic for LoZ so that's...interesting to say the least.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try to! The last year or so I've had a hard time working up the energy or finding the words to respond to comments, sometimes. But whenever I do gather up the energy to do it, I tend to answer everything in my inbox in one fell swoop! And I always really appreciate getting them so tbh sometimes I feel bad that it can take so much energy to reply....

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Oh gosh idk if I have anything that qualifies as an angsty ending lol. Maybe Tarantism (a KH fic) because it's supposed to be feelsy and then the ending is one of those "it's just a dream" things haha.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Happiest...probably A Family's Orbit? The story has married izuocha with their first kid who they're not sure when or if she'll have a Quirk of her own. But the one-shot ends pretty happy.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Hmmmm I've gotten a handful of complaints on Drops of Jupiter, on occasion. Usually just people telling me I'm going too slow (when I put in the author's notes of the very first chapter that it's "the slowest of slow burns" smh). Or this one time someone told me I didn't give Deku enough victories in the fic and it would be way better if I did.

Outside of that though, I can't think of any on my other stuff. I've been blessed with very kind commentors, I think.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I've written a couple for Izuocha. But yknow usually, in all honesty, I've only ever written smut out of spite? The two fics I have (Burning Heat and Homecoming) were written in opposition to fandom tendencies at the time. Mostly everyone was talking about Izuku like someone who was a sex addict/sex god and Ochako was just kind of there. And I said "actually I think Deku's on the ace spectrum and probably mostly just cares about pleasing his partner than anything" and thus they were born. I haven't reread them in ages though that said lol

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

Generally, no. However, about a year or so ago I got really into twewy again because I had just finished playing NEO:The World Ends With You. So I came up with a concept that kind of meshes twewy's concept with the my hero world? I only have one chapter posted of Death By Proxy so far, but I have an outline and little details written down whenever I'm in the right headspace for it. For what it's worth, you don't really need to know about twewy to read it, because Izuku finds out how everything works at the same time you do lol

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge. Here's hoping it stays that way lol

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not that I know of? I've never been asked about it anyway.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not explicitly? I feel like I help out my friends with their stories and vice versa, but not really.

Oh!

Although once upon a time me and a friend (you know who you are) wrote a KH fanfic together but I guess that was moreso just for us than anything else lol

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

Probably Izuocha, just going by the numbers.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

Hmmm probably Eri-sitting? I really want to finish it at some point, and I posted the first part with every intention of doing it. But I never figured out the way I wanted to start chapter 2. Maybe someday though. Also!!! I did start writing a fanfic based off of heroes of the dark, but I didn't end up finishing it because it contrasted how the story ended and I thought completing that would be in poor taste with that said lol

16. What are your writing strengths?

Hmmm I've always found dialogue and characterization comes easier to me than I think it does to most others? There's always been discussions I've seen where people are like "oh sometimes the characters just do what they want" and I've never really...had that happen? Or at least not in a way that completely alters a story like I've seen people say. Little actions or pieces of dialogue that take me by surprise, sure, but like never anything that completely alters a plot beat I had planned. But usually at least for me, the plot beats are so centered around who they are or how they act that the odds of them veering off course are incredibly slim, if that makes sense

God I'm rambling uh dialogue and characterization I guess was my point haha.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Probably description is the thing I have the hardest time with. Some people are so good at writing a setting and making everything seem so like immersive in that way. For me, I don't see the point in describing something unless it's like relevant and so my description tends to be very to the point.

Also estimating a story's length. Usually I come up with a concept and then I'll say "oh yeah this'll only be this long" and then I start writing and writing and realize I had a lot more to say than I thought I did initially. This has happened a handful of times now haha

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic.

I definitely don't see anything wrong with it. I usually only do it for small phrases, myself, but partially because I'm not fluent in anything except for English. And I generally try to do some research or I'll check with friends if I have any who speak the language I'm using.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Kingdom Hearts! Back in the days of yore, yours truly actually wrote KH retellings with OCs back on quizilla lmao. I wrote quite a lot back then although with how long it's been most of the things I posted on there don't exist anymore. But that was back during 8th grade when I started.

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

Oh hmm I don't know. I feel like favorites is tough because I like a lot of my stories but for different reasons. I'm exceedingly proud of Drops of Jupiter for example. And I think it's been a true adventure to write and does have some of my best work in it as a result.

But I also think some of the prose and concepts I've made for Call From the Wild has a special place in my heart. It's very different from...basically anything else I've ever written because most ever other fic is "modern" in a manner of speaking and this was my first time writing something that's...decidedly not lol. I also think I'm fond of it because it's adhering to canon while allowing me the creativity to come up with how certain things happened since the details before the Calamity in botw are pretty limited...

Basically I guess my favorite kind of fic I've written is anything that really allows me to go nuts creatively.

Thanks so much for sending this! I don't have anyone in particular I want to tag, but if any of my followers fill it out, please tag me so I can see it!

[kyogre-blue]

Act 3 of Inazuma is finally done. I'm so glad it's short. I miss the days when archon quests were short.

Looking back on the entirety of Inazuma, I think it had some very cool concepts, but unfortunately the execution fell completely short. The first two acts are mostly passable though not particularly good, but act three really falls apart.

I would say there's three main problems:

One, the Genshin writers just aren't very good at writing characters and emotions. It's not something concrete that I can point to, and it's not immediately obvious, but if you compare it to a genuinely good writer, you can really feel the difference. I recently got through LB6 in FGO and, tbh, I didn't really care for it. But man, Nasu absolutely nails the emotions and the characters. You can't help feeling for them. By contrast, Thoma in Ritou still comes across as annoying at best, and Ayaka is too lowkey to leave a real impression. Teppei, Kazuha, etc, they all have similar issues, which really lowers the possible emotional stakes of the story.

Two, Genshin writers are also bad at any kind of theme or deeper message. It's not even an issue of not having a message, or it being too simple. They try to have a deeper narrative, but they seem to just be aping what they've seen in other works without actually understanding anything, so what you get is a confused mess that doesn't convey anything at all and is actually at odds with what we actually see in the story itself.

The "longing for the gods' gaze" aspect was the worst. It's fundamentally nonsensical. Teppei wanted power, and he didn't care where it came from. He didn't care about Ei's gaze or whatever. The people of Watatsumi sure as hell don't care about her gaze, given that they don't acknowledge her as their god to begin with. At most, this becomes a purely mechanical thing, where they want Visions, that come from "the gods' gaze" but then it's just saying "humans want power" and that doesn't sound very good, does it? Similar issues withe regard to stuff like Ei's entire backstory and desire for "eternity" which is so ambiguous as to become meaningless, and because the writers don't really understand it, they also can't address her grief or the meaning of Makoto's stance on grasping the current moment. Contrast to the current Case Files event rerun in FGO and just FGO's themes in general, which have a lot to say about how suffering and death are inevitable, so is there a purpose in living (yes), and is there meaning in actions that no one will remember (yes). It's the difference between writers who know how to think through their story on a deeper level and those who don't.

Third, the writers don't seem to understand how to construct a full sequence of setup, development and payoff. They end up off-screening things that really need to be onscreen, and this massively undercuts all the character arcs.

Sara has a fairly direct arc (though, notably, I don't think she ever reaches the point of genuinely questioning her loyalty to Ei, only runs off to inform her about the situation), but her confrontation with Ei is entirely cut out, so her arc seems to just go nowhere, since she remains the exact same person afterwards. It's like she didn't even have a storyline. Kazuha is stated in the prelude to not understand why his friend put his life on the line, aka doesn't understand his friend's ambition. Then in the climax, he is able to light his friend's vision, implicitly now understanding his ambition, and the ending cutscene even focuses on that same vision with the statement that some ambitions outlive their holders and pass on to others. But Kazuha has only on cameo appearance in between those two points, so we have no idea how he came to have this change of heart. Heck, we don't even know what his friend's ambition was! The only way to read what we're actually given is that Kazuha started simping for the Traveler and this fixed all his problems, like Shenhe. But since his friend's ambition doesn't seem to have been about protecting anyone, this also doesn't make sense as a narrative. They really murdered Kazuha, it's still amazing.

Teppei has a similar issue, where what should be big moments in his story are entirely offscreen. This ties into the Watatsumi portion's bad pacing, where the supposed passage of time is hard to really feel because they just didn't bother with coming up with scenes to properly support their stated storyline. Teppei really needed to have the effects of him using the Delusion, the combat victory he achieved with it, be shown on screen. This should have been condensed into one major moment of power, rather than a bunch of offscreen battles somewhere else. (Also, Teppei's ghost appearing in the final battle makes no sense, since you're implied to be channeling the visions set in the statue, and he didn't have one. Would have been funny to give him a Vision when he's already too old to use it, so he gives it to the Traveler, and you can look at it after the final battle and realize, bittersweet, that it's gone out... this is fanfic tho.)

In a minor way, this even hits Ei. They never so much as vaguely suggest the existence of her sister. No one ever goes "yeah, the Shogun changed so much 500 years ago" or "the Shogun always seemed to have two sides to her, but after the Cataclysm, she became only the warrior" or anything, and this means her sudden monologue about her losses comes out of nowhere and is hard to really care about.

If they managed to fix one, maybe two of these, Inazuma would honestly be a passable story. But that would require the genshin writers to gain like twenty levels of skill overnight, and that ain't happening.

Still, I have to say that Inazuma's concept is good, and up until the final sections, they seemed to have actually done the step by step aspect of the plot better than I remember. The events follow more coherently that I remembered, and they at least mention a lot of later plot points fairly early in. It's just that those passing mentions are often too weak to support the later story...

Anyway, I still stand by this being leagues better than Sumeru. It's shorter, for one, and it had an interesting premise. Sumeru is just wasting your time the entire way through.

Now, I just need to do Ei's two quests to remove the storm... pray for me. They're both so stupid, albeit in different ways.

[free--therapy]

Thank you for the advice on the asks! It helped me out a lot into perspective. I've been thinking about it recently but there are certain things that still affect me quite a lot.

This intrusive thought regarding the ceiling fan or any ceiling object reminding of those disturbing intrusive images or tbh, any other object too.

it's like ever since my mind realised that it could give me 3D intrusive images on real life objects, it's been making me feel uncomfortable with all my old intrusive thoughts that I wasn't bothered by before.

If some random intrusive word popped up in my head before, I could ignore it. But now, my mind is like "but what if you can picture it written on the wall of whatever room you're in?" And then I can actually picture it and it sort of makes me uncomfortable. It can be any kind of intrusive thought about anything but just seems more real as if it's in real life 😭

I know they're still just intrusive thoughts/images created by my mind but due to them looking as if being projected in real life on objects or people around me, as if 3D or something, it seems like a thought/image that could always stay there you know? I know it won't always stay there and it's only there as many times as my mind imagines it but it's hard to convince myself otherwise.

Almost as if once that thought pops up, it becomes harder for me to separate it from being just a thought/image and as if it's really there. And it's not that I don't know it's a thought, I do but if just seems very realistic.

What I mean is- since the image looks to be actually attached to real world objects, I feel like that image will "stay there" until I get closure somehow by looking at the place and telling my mind that it really is just an image or something.

umm to explain one- about the one with the ceiling fan, so if my mind pictures that image, it's hard to simply shrug it off. so even if I get that image, while I try to not be bothered by it and I try to return to doing whatever I was doing prior to remembering the image but when I try to do that, it feels like I'm not getting closure you know?

as in, suppose if that image pops up when I'm sitting in a room, I'll try not to be bothered but if I do then sometimes I'll look at the ceiling fan or just in that general direction to remind myself that "see? there's nothing there so it's just a thought and not real"

or when I'm about to leave a room and suddenly that image pops up, i feel like to "truly separate" that image/thought from reality, I just sometimes look back into the room before leaving just to make my mind believe that it's just a thought and the thought won't stay there if I don't get closure or something.

but the thing is, I don't want to make a habit of doing this. As in I don't want to look at the object to get that sense of closure from the thought again and again because that might become a bad habit right? so I try to avoid this.

My mind keeps thinking that if I don't get closure then the thought will always be there or something and won't go away.

But I've been getting thoughts like "but then how will you get closure?" I also know that these thoughts about closure themselves are just irrational thoughts too. But I'm sure how to counter them.

How do I say this? Umm I want to reach a point where even if I get reminded of that thought/image, I can shrug it off without any problem and engage with whatever task I was doing again. As in, not needing to do something to get closure or anything like that.

Because it's just an image right, so why do I need closure from it? Besides since it's only been like three days since this thought first popped up, I know right now I'm sensitive to it so I keep getting reminded of it multiple times again and again whenever I'm free or get distracted from something.

I remember when I told my therapist two years ago about the guilt about mistakes thing, I used to remember any random mistake from the past- even the most smallest ones- and would wonder if I need to contact that person and tell them about it if they didn't know and apologise for it or something. Obviously I felt guilty and I felt like I wanted that sense of "closure" to truly move on or something.

But my therapist told me back then that there is no need for closure in that case because that was just fuelled by my anxiety. She told me how it was virtually impossible to keep apologising everytime I remembered any old mistake and also told me there was no need for it. Of course if it was something very big that had genuinely affected the person involved, then I should but she knew there wasn't anything of that sort. I was just getting triggered everytime I remembered any mistake and wanted that sense of "closure" and "moving on" and to feel "deserving again" and that's why I kept feeling like I should do that.

But my therapist told me that reminding myself that this need to apologise is just my anxiety and guilt itself could serve as closure. Reminding myself that "these are just my thoughts, I'm overthinking this, I'm worrying for nothing and I'm deserving regardless and I'll be okay" was eventually what helped me because I kept reminding myself "these are just thoughts and not facts, my anxiety is lying to me" and eventually I moved on and learnt that it was indeed okay and I didn't need closure from every single mistake ever.

But what do I tell myself in this case? Because it's kinda different from the thing back then. But this time too, I keep feeling like "if I don't get closure then the thought/image won't go away, it'll stay there and make me unable to focus on anything else" or something like that.

Also, it leads to more what ifs too like "what if this really becomes an association?" "what if the association stays for a long time?"

Other what ifs that affect me even more are "what if I always keep feeling like I need closure to get rid of the thought?" "What if I develop bad habits because of it?" "What if those bad habits later on become compulsive behaviours?" "If I choose to dismiss this thought as any other, then what if it keeps bugging me and makes me unable to focus on my present tasks?"

And this triggers my fear of OCD and my fear of developing compulsive behaviours then which makes the thoughts even more scary. It's a weird cycle and I'm not used to it yet so there's that too. I mean, usually when any old worry pops up, I can stay calm knowing "I've dealt with this before so I can move on this time too" but since this thought is kind of new, it's harder for me to label and accept it as "just a thought" especially because it seems as though it's projected on real life objects.

But I want to develop healthy ways to deal with it right from the start so that I can eventually reach a point where the thoughts/images themselves don't bother me and all the what ifs related to them don't  bother me either. To learn to be okay with them with time without developing unhealthy behaviour patterns. That's why I've been trying my best to simply remind myself "it's just a thought/image regardless of how real it looks, you don't have to even look at the fan or something to make your thoughts believe it" and that "you don't need to do something like that for a sense of closure or whatever"

What makes it harder is my mind on purpose creates that image again and again so many times throughout the day that idk how to deal or what to do about it. I don't know how to respond. And on top of that, there's that thing with closure.

But I also am aware that all these worries and what ifs about closure or what will happen if I don't give my mind closure each time or whether that thought it'll always stay there, etc. are all just irrational thoughts too. So at least I'm glad I can notice that. But I don't know how to deal with that though. I'm just so scared that what if I develop the habit or urge of wanting to look at room/ceiling fans again and again everytime that image pops up?

I don't wanna develop a habit like that.

But what can I do to help with that? Suppose I'm sitting in the living room and end up picturing that image happening in the bedroom, what do I do then? I don't wanna go to the bedroom to make my mind believe that it was just a thought/image or as proof or something because that's an unhealthy behaviour pattern right?

So what do I do then? How do I not feel like I'm avoiding the thought/image if I choose to continue with my work by just labelling it as a thought?

Honestly, this is really scary to me especially because I've never experienced something like this and it came out of nowhere too and it's hard to dismiss it as just a thought/image since it looks like an image but in real life setting around me. And to make it worse, there's the fear that what if it makes me develop some unhealthy habits or compulsions or something? What if it turns into OCD? Especially with the way it's going, I'm just scared tbh.

Normally I label all my thoughts as just thoughts/images and acknowledge and accept I'm having them but since they're just in my head, it's no problem to move on. Here, since it doesn't look like it's just an image in my mind but in real life, it's so so much harder to label them and move on even though I know they're just thoughts too.

It's like....suppose if I'm sitting in the living room and while sitting here, my mind creates that realistic intrusive thought/image related to the ceiling fan in the bedroom, then while I know it's just an image thought that my mind created about it being in the bedroom while I'm sitting here in the living room suppose, but then what do I do?

Like usually if it's about any other intrusive thought/image, I would've not even thought something like "what should I do?" And I would've been like, "yeah just a thought anyway..." But here it feels like if I don't do something about it, it'll get stuck in my mind and so I won't be able to move on from it and focus on other things or something. Like I'll keep feeling that I left it "incomplete" or something...like the image will always "stay there" then.

So to not feel that way, I always remind myself or think about the image of what the house really is in reality and how that image is just an image. This helps me remind myself that it's just a thought and that I don't have to do anything extra for it to go away even if it doesn't feel that way.

But even that, I don't want to make a habit of. As in everytime remembering the image of the house/rooms and what it actually is in reality to counter the intrusive thoughts because that might become a habit right?

It's fine to do it sometimes but I should be able to learn to simply tell myself and believe myself that it's just thoughts regardless of how they look (as in whether it's simply a passing image in my head, or a realistic image I can picture in real life or any what if related to any of the worries) and move on right? I mean, without needing some sort of "closure" everytime the image thought pops up.

So what do I tell myself? Instead of needing something to feel like "closure" what can I do every time the image pops up? Because since I've been worried about this, it's literally there at few times every hour lol

Also, in a way, I guess I subconsciously just feel like if I don't get closure when the image pops up, I won't be able to properly or completely move on. As in whether I'll keep feeling like I kept it incomplete or something and whether it'll make me feel like that image will then stay there without going away. I know that doesn't make sense but I'm kinda trying to avoid that I think.

But I also realise that it's another what if too  and that is just an irrational thought and irrational fear too. So in a way, I can deal with it the same way as any other worry thoughts.

Umm... I'm sorry but am I making any sense? I don't know if I'm explaining this well tbh.

Is this normal? Has this ever happened to you? Do you think I'm just overthinking and trying to "solve" every thought differently and making it complex?

What do you think? How would you deal with something like this? How can I rationalise this? Are all these thoughts to be rationalised and dealt with the same way?

(Also, I'm really sorry for writing such a long one 😭)

Hey Anon,

Unfortunately I don't have much experience dealing with this sort of thing, so my advice is really just something I would probably do if I were in the same situation, but I've never had the same kinds of intrusive thoughts like you're having, so I apologize if it's not helping in the way that you'd hope it would.

But like I mentioned before, I think in your case your anxiety is stemming more from the fear of having this be something that plagues you forever as opposed to the thought itself. You're having fear surrounding something that hasn't even happened yet or may not even happen. I know of course that it's hard to convince your mind otherwise since it's doing its best to convince you to be in a vigilant state to try and get you prepared for this scenario, but you don't really know if it'll be there forever. I know from my perspective and my experience that these thoughts don't have to or won't have to last forever because your mind is powerful enough to get rid of them, just as it is powerful enough to convince you that what you're thinking is real.

I don't remember if I've told you this in the past, but if any of your thoughts start with "what if" then it's not factual. That alone should be an indicator to you that your mind is just looking for things to be fearful of in its attempt to survive. It's definitely a double-edged sword though because it's not a bad thing to be prepared for things, but it shouldn't be at the detriment to your mind and your ability to function from day to day.

What do you think? How would you deal with something like this? How can I rationalise this? Are all these thoughts to be rationalised and dealt with the same way?

It's really hard for me to say because I've never dealt with such intense intrusive thoughts before, but I have dealt with my mind replaying certain things that have happened to me in the past that may have hurt me, as some sort of sick joke to my brain to see if it still hurts. To me, when it comes to facing fears or things I tend to avoid, I always want to know why they bother me or why I'm avoiding these particular things. I find that trying to understand the things I'm afraid of have helped me to overcome my fear surrounding so many things, especially my own mind.

For example: Why does this thought bother me so much? Why does it disturb me? Why? Would you actually act on it? No? So why let it have any power over you? Has anything like this happened before? Did it harm me? Am I okay even after the thought passes?

Thoughts are just thoughts, even when they trigger the parts in your brain that make you react in a physical way that makes it feel real. As far as I know, you haven't acted on any of them and no in any compulsive way, so I don't think you'd have OCD tendencies if you haven't already had them already.

I know this is tough and I'm so sorry that you have to be dealing with this battle in your mind and it can feel so discouraging at times, but don't give up. Please! I know you'll make it past these thoughts and they won't be able to hold such power over you because you hold the power to do so.

[tuiyla]

I finally found someone who shares my views 🙌. You honestly have no idea how hard it is to find someone like that in glee fandom I’m not even joking. I was wondering if you could help me I’m trying to see about protagonist centred morality and how narrative lets them get away with shit and I was wondering do you have a top 5 moments of bad things finn, schue and puck did? They are the only 3 who seems to get away with everything on the show

Okay wow, I don't know how a month went by since you sent this but here we are. Hi Anon. I'm not sure which views in particular you're referring to lol but IIRC it was the anti Finn and general anti Glee's shitty framing posts, right? Well, in any case happy to be someone people can relate to.

I'd love to hear more about whatever project it is you have going on because it's a fascinating topic. Sorry I couldn't be of help earlier but I'm hoping you'll reach out if/when you see this. Anyway, to start off the actual reply I'll just say that I'm not sure I'd lump Puck together with those two. For me, Finn and Will exist on a very unique level where they show seems wholly unaware of or unwilling to discuss their bad behaviour. Puck, while he does do yucky things and sometimes without repercussions, is overall considered to be a bully from the beginning and has themes of people expecting the worst from him and him doubling down on that. So I wouldn't say he gets away with everything. What he does get away with is pretty heinous, though.

So if we're specifically talking weird narrative framing and a disconnect between what Glee portrayed and how it treated that behaviour, we'd best start off with just that. This isn't an ordered list so rearrange into a top 5 as you see fit.

Puck gets Quinn pregnant: Even my own wording here is much more diplomatic than the actual scene deserves. I've gone into detail before and I can dig up those posts if you'd like but bottom line is that Glee views this as a consensual act between two foolish kids that has serious consequences. The narrative blames them equally, though tbh Quinn a little more because misogyny. But what Glee shows the viewer in 1x22 is an extremely dubious situation with Quinn verbally hesitating and Puck pushing more alcohol on her, not to mention the reveal that he lied about protection thus committing an act of assault in and of itself. Because this was 2010 and written by three men, they saw nothing wrong with this. To modern audiences, it's hard not to view Beth's conception as very questionable, at best.

Finn is the hero in Santana's coming out: I don't wish to dwell too much on this because frankly I've done so enough and it's self-explanatory. Also it makes my blood boil lol. It's mindboggling how they actively retcon Mash Off in IKAG and pretend Finn just really cares about her, actually. Disgusting.

Will's treatment of the kids Mercedes in Booty Camp: And really all of season 3 because he acted like his life depended on them winning Nationals Will's almost always framed as this benevolent father figure and the narrative has the nerve to blame Mercedes for deserting. His behaviour towards her was unacceptable and his double standard was glaring. And yet, we needed antagonists for ND and so the Troubletones was chosen to be in opposition. And for that to happen we needed Mercedes to leave. There are a lot of Will moments but I think the framing might be most glaring here.

Finn tells the Fabrays about the baby: All of this could just be Finn's greatest hits and I shall make him take the last two spots because as shitty as Will is, he's less obvious with most of his bs. So this is another thing I keep coming back to because I simply cannot comprehend how and why the show allowed this to be Finn's decision and his only and how it never once considered judging him for it. Regardless of the baby mess and how Quinn treated him, Finn had zero right to announce Quinn's pregnancy and the callousness with which Quinn getting kicked out of her home is treated is appalling. The show doesn't stop for a second to consider that this might not have been for the best, actually.

Finn beats up Brody: Another shitty Finn moment, another opportunity for me to wonder what the writers were smoking. This isn't one I've talked all that much about before but oh boy. How could Glee turn Finn's violent and frankly psychotic moment into something heroic? Something romantic? He beats up a guy for being a sex worker and we're supposed to find it romantic. Even though they're not together with Rachel and all Brody did was lie. Which was an issue but Glee never deals with that, no, it judges sex work wholesale and has our hero violently attack another guy. Only for Rachel to swoon at the knowledge that Finn would do that for her. Girl, get a restraining order.

So yeah, I hope that was along the lines of what you were looking for. Obviously there's a lot to be said about each and I really focused on kicking Finn while he was down (funny how people do that, huh) but Will's framing is constant throughout the series. Like I said, I disagree about Puck but he does have this one big one and some smaller instances.

[dawnfelagund]

This is so important!

I was there, Gandalf ... AO3 did not intend to become the "fandom nexus" that it has indeed become. This remains in the OTW's FAQ because it was such an important topic of discussion when the OTW and AO3 were under discussion. People worried about exactly what has happened: that AO3 would supplant smaller sites that cannot possibly compete with "everything in one place."

I do not for a moment think this was their intent, and other forces came into play beyond the mere existence of AO3. (The internet in general consolidated onto fewer sites that offered everything in one place rather than disparate, smaller, niche sites and communities, for example.)

Having been there, though, I don't think people realized the full implications of what @kimboo-york identifies as a repository (Abigail De Kosnik uses the term "universal archive" but the definitions are the same: a place where all of a particular thing is stored). Fandom had never had a true repository/universal archive before AO3, and I don't know that we really appreciated what it would mean for AO3 to be one. I don't know that most people really realized that "keeping everything" had serious downsides until very recently ... at least, it does when the place where you are "keeping everything" has also become the place you are using for interaction and community. (And thanks go to the antiracist activists who have done a lot of work to make these detriments known.)

And while the phrase "you don't like it? go build your own!" has been weaponized against minorities in particular, it's not bad advice for all fandoms.

This issue has become that this is increasingly difficult to do. I often draw the example of the erstwhile Tolkien fanfiction archive Faerie, which was set up in response to the purchase of LotRFanfiction.com, as an alternative to that site, whose new owner intended to run it for-profit. Faerie's founder notably set it up in about an hour using eFiction software.

And again, part of the problem is that one of the promises made when AO3 was established was that the code would be available for anyone to use ... and technically it is, except that it is extremely difficult to use. However, it was pitched initially as similar to eFiction: something that could be used out-of-the-box by ordinary fans to build archives using the AO3 code. I do not blame AO3 that this turned out to be more difficult than anticipated, but with eFiction gone (in part because people flocked to AO3), that this commitment was not honored has only been more damaging to independent archives.

I do think the winds are shifting here. I'm on the cusp of recording a tutorial about how to build a fanworks archive in Drupal. Once my Independent Archive Survey data is fully posted, I will be reaching out to the current owner of eFiction to see what he would need to complete upgrades on the script and possibly follow through on his hope to offer hosted eFiction sites, making it possible to build a fic archive without even needing to purchase web hosting. Then of course there are projects like Fandom Coders, who are doing great things to help fans build the skills needed to run their own sites. (Which, friends, we used to do all the time. We can do it again.)

But at the moment, the pickings are slim, making it particularly egregious that fans of color are being brushed away to "build your own archive" when ... that's really not much of an option right now, making it more of a "just go away, why don't you." (History, of course, tells us this is how it usually goes.)

(I particularly wish neo-puritans would take up this call, tbh.)

YEP. And know what? Tolkien fandom has always had these people, and during the 2000s, when there were dozens of independent Tolkien archives, the canatics (as we called them) built their own sites with their own rules outlawing sex and fun, and other people built other sites that allowed sex and fun, and no one suffered from not having to put up with the other.

Independent Archive Survey

How interested are you in building or running your own independent archive?

Very interested: 22% Somewhat interested: 42% Not at all interested: 22% I'm not sure: 14% Responses: 36

Analysis

Moving forward, results include only those participants who, on the previous question ("Would you consider building or otherwise volunteering for an independent archive?") answered yes. This was 45% of participants, or thirty-six people.

This question asks that subset of participants specifically about whether they'd consider building or running an independent archive. 64% responded that they were very or somewhat interested. There is, of course, selection bias at work here: If you took the time to respond to a survey about independent archives, you probably had some interest in the topic. What's interesting is that "interest" doesn't have to be positive, yet here it clearly is. (This, of course, likely reflects some bias too, as people who use independent archives already, such as the SWG, are likely overrepresented among my followers who would have seen the survey in the first place.)

But even within this biased group, there is interest in independent archives. How does this group winnow down to those who will be willing to put in the time and energy to actually building an archive? That remains to be seen, but 64% is a strong start.

What is the independent archive survey?

The independent archive survey ran from 23 June through 7 July 2023. Eighty-two respondents took the survey during that time. The survey asked about interest in independent archives and included a section for participants interested in building or volunteering for an independent archive. The survey was open to all creators and readers/viewers of fanworks.

What is an independent archive?

The survey defined an independent archive as "a website where creators can share their fanworks. What makes it 'independent' is that it is run by fans but unaffiliated with any for-profit or nonprofit corporations or organizations. Historically, independent archives have grown out of fan communities that create fanworks."

Follow the tag #independent archives for more survey results and ongoing work to restore independent archives to fandoms that want them.

Independent Archives Survey Masterpost

[strangertheories]

Hi! First of all: Love your theories and analysis of ST! :) So, I have something I wanted to see your take on. Ever since volume 2, I've been wondering about the probability of Byler being canon or not, but most of all, I've been thinking about Mike's character and how he has been written in s4 especially. First I need to say that I didn't come from any particular biased (or too heavily invested) point before watching volume 2 'cause I don't ship Byler or Mileven, but as a regular fan of the show I always felt that Will was gay (that point has been clear since s3 for me), and after paying closer attention to Mike's character in volume 1, I felt for sure that he was being written as queer coded/ struggling with his sexuality. There are plenty of analysis about this online (some of which I think are reaching a little bit, while others I definitely agree with), but seeing as the show went with the whole I love you declaration / motivational coach speech from Mike to El (which to me kinda cements that Mileven will probably be the endgame tbh); what are your thoughts on the queer coding of Mike and his weirdness towards Will and just his weirdness in general? I'm so conflicted right now, 'cause to me it just doesn't make sense to build this up and not offer it any pay-off. Could you maybe help rationalize this? 'Cause something feels off with the way he was written when comparing vol1 to vol2. TLDR: Is Mike a closeted gay or is he just a lousy friend? What do you think were the Duffers' intentions with his character...?

First of all, I'm glad you like my posts! (: Second of all, it really depends on the direction they take Byler in during S5. I think a lot more people thought Mike was queer after Volume 1 and that can be seen by the influx of followers in the Byler tag. His inability to say that he loves Eleven despite the fact he was able to say it before combined with the way he was acting about Will led a lot of people to think he's actually interested in Will. It seriously makes so much sense for his character for him to be gay and if it turns out he is, that'll be some amazing writing and foreshadowing and some of the best initially subtle queer rep ever.

But I'm really conflicted on canon Byler. I don't want to be a party pooper, but I also don't want to give false hope and I'm going to say I'm skeptical of it, but I really hope to be proven wrong. Volume 2 felt like the perfect opportunity to start making Byler canon but they didn't go down that route and I feel like there's only so much milkvan that I can wave away as platonic. If it happened now, it would feel a bit rushed and fan service-y to me. I will continue to make Byler theories and try to bring some hope to people because I believe it can happen, but I'm also not going to lie about how I feel. I have the disappointed but not surprised outlook on Byler, as in it's a missed opportunity if they don't do it and a shame for the show, but it's not shocking.

So that leaves us with two possibilities. One and the one I prefer: Mike is gay and repressing his feelings for Will by projecting them onto Eleven like Will pretending Eleven asked for stuff but he is starting to work this out so he pushes Will away with the comments like it's not my fault you don't like girls. Two: after S2 without the will they won't they aspect to Mike and Eleven's relationship, the writers didn't know what to do with them so they created random conflicts and breakups so we could have an emotional moment at the end of each season with them. They wanted Mike's friendship with Will to be challenged by the relationship to show Mike is growing up and moving on but Will can't because of his sexuality and because of the loss of his childhood.

I don't think the second option is inherently bad but they've not written it like that. It makes Mike seem like he doesn't love Eleven and that he's an awful friend to Will and a lot of the Mike hate is a response to this poor writing. The actions are very realistic for a teenage boy so I get they don't have to justify it but if you see Mike in the earlier seasons and just how loyal he is, I'm not sure that's something that goes away with puberty. So either they're working towards the goal of Mike being gay and having a big realization coming out arc in S5 or they tried to write conflict into his relationships and it didn't click with a lot of the audience.

But don't lose hope because of that! It does make a ton of sense for Mike to be gay and he's clearly very queer coded. There's a reason so many people cling on to that aspect of him. So if the writers make Byler requited, it does explain a lot of stuff and a lot of analyses are super convincing so who knows. But it could also be weird relationship writing, I'm not going to lie.

Hopefully this post is ok! I'm not trying to be controversial but this is my account created for sharing my opinions on a show I love so I'm not going to pretend that there is a possibility Byler won't be canon although equally there is a possibility that it will be. Thanks for the ask and the compliment :D

[not-poignant]

I actually have that “Oh even YOU go through this and have negative thoughts about your writing” same brain empathy thing you were talking about, anytime I see you having self doubts. To see that you’re able to overcome and write so much so consistently is very very inspiring to me and makes me hopeful I can improve too

Yes!

A friend and I were also talking about this today, which is that... sometimes there is resonance when it's like 'oh man I've felt exactly like that too!' or 'I never thought this author goes through these feelings, maybe that means there's nothing inherently bad with my writing, it's just I'm having a bad brain day.'

Not everyone goes in that direction, but I have really felt solidarity and compassion and kinship with people having a hard time with their writing (or art). I also don't feel...obligated to make them feel better. Likewise, I never expect others to make me feel better if I'm having a hard time. It is ultimately my responsibility. That being said, sometimes me reaching out to a friend or even a stranger going through that kind of creative downward spiral, or feeling insecure, can be self-empowering, a kind of: 'This is how I wish I would treat myself when I felt like this' or even 'I hope they feel a little better.' Maybe they won't! But the process to me can be an empowering and helpful one on both sides - as a reader, as a writer going through it, as a writer watching other writers going through it.

Another friend pointed out that the original post I was talking about was probably referencing people who are just trying to get attention (i.e. obligating others to interact with them, or trying to guilt trip them or manipulate them), which I think is fair. That happens too. Though there's always a part of my mind which is like: People attention seek because they need attention. It doesn't mean the readers or the audience are the right ones to give it (probably a therapist is), but it's... /thinks/ I don't know. I don't know tbh.

This side of things is tough, there are definitely toxic, abusive, unhealthy and manipulative people in fandom who have no self-responsibility and expect others to kind of 'fill the void' with constant praise and reassurance when they're going through a hard time. They don't believe in self-accountability and they want everyone give them attention the moment they want it. But imho, for me in that specific situation, the problem isn't that they're specifically talking about disliking their writing, the problem is much larger than that, and there are probably a lot of other red flags in those situations. And honestly even in those situations, the person still needs attention and assistance and compassion (the anguish is often still very real), they're just never owed it from their readers (or actually anyone, esp if they're being rude or guilt-trippy about it).

In those situations I'd walk away, instead of writing a generic post that encourages everyone to shut up about being self-deprecating re: writing. Because the latter version can be seen as hurtful and encouraging stigma, which I know, because it was hurtful to read, lmao. People with mental illnesses - especially 'ugly' mental illnesses, with behaviours that are seen as being in 'bad taste' - are told to shut up all the time about the reality of their suffering or self-esteem, it adds up.

Anyway! I've been having lots of thoughts about this today, sorry for writing you an essay, anon! To get back to the subject at hand you absolutely can improve! I bet your writing is already awesome and is just going to get more awesome. And sometimes those downward spirals are telling you that you need a break, or you need to do something that feels fun again. Sometimes it can mean refocusing - looking at things about your writing that feel good, and reminding yourself that all writing is crucial to you becoming a better writer. And most of us go through some shocking, horrible downward spirals.

It's actually kind of grounding sometimes to come back to reality and remember that the worst that I feel about my writing is absolutely something someone else has felt, and it's not unique, and my writing isn't 'inherently the worst' and probably my favourite authors have felt this way and continue to sometimes feel this way. Maybe it's not happening to them as often (idk their mental health situation), but it's still definitely not unique to me, which means there's nothing uniquely terrible about my writing; brains are just gonna mess up sometimes, because they're big fleshy globes of fat and neurons.

But still, I respect the right of anyone in that space to talk about it, because the suffering can be one of the loneliest feelings in the world, it's excoriating, when it comes with attendant mental health issues. Sometimes just saying something is enough to make it bearable.

Which is why I feel that telling people to shut up is not actually an answer, imho (unless that person is specifically being directly badgered in DMs or something idk).

In the meantime, we'll keep growing as writers. :D

[hasarjunadoneanythingwrong]

heaven's feel is definitely one of nasu's best works, and yeah i don't like it when people dismiss sakushirou as "traumatized damsel in distress who needs to be rescued by the male hero" bc like first of all, just because it has a trope doesn't automatically make it bad. then there's the other fact that shirou saves anyone anyway, regardless of whether they are a romantic interest to him or not. the reason he's able to choose sakura over saving the rest of the world is that he does truly love her, and he rejects his entire self for that. he sacrificed his whole identity for her. also, i think it's very important to mention that (heaven's feel spoilers i guess since you said you haven't played/watched it feel free to not read this part or delete the ask), ultimately shirou isn't the one who breaks through to sakura. rin is. it's her sisterly love that gets sakura to snap out of it. shirou only comes in after to finish the job.

i think also, yeah while nasu uses the trope of "traumatized woman turns evil" a lot, i think, more important than anything, is that they (almost) always overcome their trauma and get happy endings. fsn and CCC are not fate zero. they're not misery porn. not that i'm fully defending nasu here bc he's still very sexist but. yeah

You can spoil me tbh I already spoiled myself before I even entered the fate fandom proper

yeah and that’s exactly the reason I think heavens feel specifically works as well as it does- it ISNT ‘boy rescues girl’ so much as it is a combination of both shirou actually abandoning the ideals that drove him in the previous two routes AND rin finally coming forwards and reuniting with the sister she lost. Ubw was shirou doubling down on his dream despite archer telling him it would fuck him up, but in heaven’s feel he willingly lets go to help one person that he cares for. That’s one of the reasons it’s at the end of the game-it’s a culmination of all three of their arcs as characters.

But more importantly there’s a large focus on the fact Sakura and Rin are sisters, and that’s the final thing that actually ‘saves’ her. Sakura’s torment started when she was removed from her real family so it only makes sense to have it end and her healing begin by her real family reach out to her again. Shirou is really only an accessory to Rin helping Sakura (and it doesn’t come out of nowhere as he was a close friend/her closest friend for several years)

From what I’ve heard heavens feel is less about ‘man saving crazy woman’ so much as it is ‘two people who very dearly love someone who is in pain reach out and help her.’ The major issue is when they try to reuse a concept like dark Sakura and her general deal in something like fgo, but they only have one event, no shirou OR Rin, and she’s been given to a writer who isn’t….known….for their delicacy or basic human decency

it’s the hot evil woman with none of the background and none of the supporting cast that made the original work the way it did, and it certainly doesn’t have the same resolution.