#i'm feeling old for a reason I can't tell

[void-speaks]

🌧"Hm, we don't really have those kind of luxuries nor the necessity for them, so I just dive head in even if its pouring. I do enjoy rain quite a lot. It's refreshing."

🍳"Well, I'm not exactly the best, but I do know how to make the most basic of things. Sigh, I do wish I had the chance to learn how to cook something more cool and interesting, but oh well. Oh, surprisingly enough, I do. I used to hate any and all kind of chores before, but now it's just something you can shut off your mind for and do on autopilot. Mmm, probabaly omelets. No particular reasons, I just think it's neat."

🧼"It's not like we get much of a choice. In this economy, we shower whenever we can. I do enjoy showering, but I haven't gotten many chances to bathe before, so I can't really tell anything. Again, it's a miracle if we find gel in this situation."

❌️"Obviously I would. It does depend on who is telling me what, but just in general, I would. Hmm... Probabaly Crane. He's seen some shit and has a good base of knowledge about the world, more than me and Aiden have."

🏳️‍"Well, it's hard to say right now. I can't really imagine anything that would make me give up, but there's probabaly something. Like, maybe if I was in complete despair? I don't know, hard to say."

📖"Gosh, don't even get me started on books! I really, really love books. I've always loved reading books even as a child. I mostly favored fantasy and detective novels and sometimes romance I suppose. Queer romance specifically because. Well. Guess. I wouldn't say I have a lot of opportunities to read in that sense that new books that I haven't read are a rare thing to find right now."

⛸️"I'm not... too into sports, to be fair. Would parkour count as a sport? Probabaly not right now. Hm... I guess Carnage Hall fights would be considered a sport? In that case, I don't really follow that stuff at all."

😷"I have an average immune system, so I don't get sick too much. Well, 'staying at home' right now isn't exactly an option, however, when I get sick, I tend to not overwhelm myself with chores, but don't stay in bed all day either. Well, medical masks are surprisingly hard to find, and just regular clothing pieces won't do much, so I tend to stay away from people or be very careful around them."

🥼"No, I don't. Hm, what kind of uniform... To be fair, and don't quote me on this, but Renegade uniform looks sick as Hell."

🥂"Huh, I never really thought about it. I guess I just pat myself on the back or don't really acknowledge them at all."

🛴"Parkour. It's probabaly impossible to get around on a bike in this environment, but it would be nice if I could. Traffic rules aren't really a thing right now, so eh."

🕰"Hm... Now that I think about it, we don't do that too much? Or I suppose we just use the sun as our guide most of the time. Or Peacekeeper sirens or church bells if it's in Old Villedor."

🥰"There's many things that can make me... Well, not happy, but bring some kind of positive feelings for sure. As for loved... I don't know how to answer that."

🐇"I don't. I prefer to live in the now and here. Believing in this kind of thing would be an escapism method for me, and I prefer not to do that."

🎺"I'm getting tired of saying it, but there's not much choice we have nowadays. I'm starting to sound like my grandma... I think. But, if I had to chose from all the songs I know, my current choice would be that tape that Aiden showed me recently. I don't know its name, but it goes like... 'Some people cheat, some people sin, but ohhhhh I play to win, tu-tu-tu-tu-tu-tu-u-u-u-u-u,' and so on. Sorry, I'm not the best singer. Mm, no, not really. Never had a chance to learn. Probabaly the violin. I heard it's a difficult instrument, which is one of the things that intrigues me about it."

💽"Yes! I like collecting books, newspapers from the 'old times,' audio tapes and stuff like that. Really to collect information. But especially books. There isn't a particular reason, I just enjoy doing it. Or I suppose the reason would be that I want to know as much as possible about Villedor and its life and how life was for other people in the hot of the apocalypse."

🧋"Tea. By God how much I love tea. Especially black tea with thyme. I can't even explain it, I just do. My second top tea is from a specific brand, but it's also black tea with apple and... and some other berry. I don't know its name in English. Oh, that entirely depends on the season and how I'm feeling. But generally, I lean more towards warm or hot drinks."

🌻 random in-character questions

an ask game where, instead of replying from your perspective, you answer as if it's your original character/muse/self-insert/etc. answering the question ✨

🌧️ "When outside during the rain, do you use a raincoat, an umbrella, or something else? Do you enjoy rain?"

🍳 "Are you a good cook? Do you enjoy cooking? What's your favorite thing to cook?"

🧼 "Do you prefer to take a shower during the morning or evening? Do you like taking baths? What's your favorite scent of shower gel?"

❌ "Would you do something that someone told you not to do? Why? Is there someone you'd actually listen to more than everyone else?"

🏳️ "What will make you give up?"

📖 "What kinds of books do you read? Do you have a lot of time to read?"

⛸️ "What's your favorite kind of sport? Do you follow sports closely or don't care at all?"

😷 "How often do you get sick? Do you stay at home when sick or do you end up going outside to, say, get some groceries? If you go outside, would you wear a mask?"

🥼 "Do you have to wear a uniform somewhere? If yes, how do you feel about it? If no, what kind of uniform would you love to wear?"

🥂 "How do you celebrate you accomplishments?"

🛴 "What's your preferred way of getting somewhere - own car, public transport, a bicycle, or something else? How well do you follow the traffic rules?"

🕰️ "What do you use to check what time it is?"

🥰 "What would make you feel happy and loved?"

🐇 "Do you believe in other dimensions?"

🎺 "What kind of music do you mostly listen to? Do you know how to play an instrument, and if not, which one would you want to learn to play?"

💽 "Do you collect anything? Why?"

🧋 "What's your go-to thing to drink? Do you prefer cold or hot drinks?"

[motorsportbarbie13]

A Package Deal - epilogue 1

In which Lando has doubts about his worth.

warnings: angst and talk of parental death. fluff at the end tho. pairing: lando norris x singlemom!reader word count...idk like 2k? maybe less!

A Package Deal - A Package Deal - Part 2 - A Package Deal - Part 3 - A Package Deal - Part 4 - A Package Deal - Part 5 - A Package Deal - Part 6

"Today was...a lot." You sigh, collapsing into bed beside an already tucked in Lando.

"Mhm." Lando's reply is quick, a sound devoid of any emotion that has your head swinging over to where he sits beside you.

You, Lando, Stella and the rest of your family had spent most of the day moving things from your old house into the house you and Lando had purchased a few weeks after returning home from Switzerland. Both of you had wanted a fresh start as a new family and this home was supposed to be your new beginning. Something about his demeanor right now though had alarm bells ringing in your head.

"Everything okay my love?"

At this point in your relationship, you and Lando could pretty much communicate solely with an exchanged look across a room and a change in posture. You could tell when something was off with your fiance.

"Are we sure Stella should be calling me dad?"

If you had been asked to predict what was bothering Lando before he had opened his mouth, the question he asked you as he sat avoiding your stunned look was simply not even in the top 1,000 things that could have been on that list.

"I'm sorry, come again?" You try so hard to keep your anxiety and anger in check at the absolute audacity of his question, hoping that he has a good reason to be questioning his role in Stella's life.

The same heavy weight of anxiety sits on Lando's shoulders, unable to look you in the eyes. "I mean, I'm not." He says softly. "She has a dad. He died but I can't replace him. I shouldn't want to replace him."

You stare at Lando for several moments trying to come up with a response. This was certainly not the conversation you had anticpated having tonight, not after spending nearly 12 hours moving house but, here you were. Lando and you hadn't talked much about your ex. There wasn't much to say. You had dated when you were teenagers, got pregnant by accident as teenagers sometimes do, and by the time you had Stella you had gone your separate ways. He had been a good dad to Stella in those eight months before the accident, of course, but he had never connected with Stella the way you had when she was a baby.

Gingerly moving over so you're shoulder to shoulder with Lando, you lay your head on his shoulder. Relief that washes over you when he drops his head onto yours and takes your hand in his, playing with your engagement ring while he sits quietly.

Lando wasn't having second thoughts about you and Stella, about his commitment to either of you. Absolutely not. He was insecure and worried about stepping into a role that he thought he didn't deserve.

"Lan, Stella was eight months old when Chris died. You're not trying to replace him but you're the only dad she's ever known, baby. Where is all this coming from?"

If you know Lando like you think you do, you're pretty sure somethings got his anxiety up and he's worried himself into a spiral where he's convinced himself that he's not good enough or worthy of the family that he's got now.

And when he opens his mouth to explain, your suspecisons are confirmed.

"When I was packing up Stella's room today, I came across a few pictures of Chris holding Stella in the hospital." A bright shock of pain slices through Lando's chest at the thought of that picture and the feelings of jealousy that had come with seeing it for the first time. He couldn't believe how jealous he had felt knowing that he had missed that with Stella. With you. How he'd missed seeing you pregnant for the first time, how even when you started a family together like you'd talked about countless amounts of times, he'd never truly be the first one to have a family with you. He had spent the rest of the day thinking about how maybe he didn't deserve to have Stella call him dad anymore, how he hadn't earned it because there had been someone before him.

"I just don't want her to grow up thinking I'm trying to take his place. She has a dad already and what if resents me for stepping into that dad role when she's older? What if I don't deserve to be her dad?"

The pain in Lando's voice has your chest squeezing so painfully it becomes difficult for you to breathe. "Lando." You whisper, interlocking your fingers with his as you nuzzle deeper into his neck. "Baby, I need you to listen to me right now, okay? Can you do that for me?"

You pause, waiting for him to at least confirm he's going to try. When you feel him nod against your head, a small humm emanating from his throat, you continue. "Stella was eight months old when Chris died, she has no memories of him. You are the only dad she's ever known, okay? You. Do you understand me?"

"But what if..."

"No." You interrupt, tone a bit harsher than you intended. "Nope, you need to stop right there with the 'what ifs', Lan. Chris and I were friends for a very long time before we even started dating. I knew him very well and I need you to trust me when I tell you that he would be very much on board with Stella calling you dad."

Lando lifts his head before tilting your chin up so you can finally look at him in the eyes. His brows are furrowed and he's looking down at you like he can't quite believe what you're saying. Like he doesn't have the confidence in himself to believe what you're saying is true.

When he doesn't say anything further, you continue. "That little girl that I just finished tucking into bed adores you. She thinks the absolute world of you, my love. She was the one to call you dad in the first place, and if there's one thing i've learned since becoming a mom its that sometimes you have to trust that what your kid is saying is the truth. They're little humans with feelings and thoughts and beliefs of their own. Stella wouldn't call you dad if she didn't want to."

Your chest rises and falls faster at the end of your little speech, eyes searching Lando's for some kind of hint that you're getting through to him.

And you are. Lando's chest aches with the truth that he knows you're telling him. "I just don't think I could stand knowing I screwed something up with her. That I was a bad dad to her because I'm not really her parent."

You can't help but laugh at that and Lando's brow tugs together in confusion. "Baby, you're more of a parent than you realize."

"What do you mean?"

You reach down and capture Lando's hand in yours before giving it a squeeze. "You're not a true parent until you spend a majority of your time wondering if everything that comes out of your mouth or every decision you make is going to somehow screw up your kid. It's natural and it doesn't mean you're a bad parent."

You take Lando's face in your hands, pulling him towards you. When your nose is a breath away from his and you can almost feel his lips dusting over yours, you grin. "That makes you a good parent, Lando. And an even better one because you're helping raise a baby you didn't make. Stella is as much your baby as she is mine or Chris', do you understand me?"

Tears sting at the back of Lando's eyes. He hadn't realized how much seeing that picture of Chris and Stella in the hospital had bothered him. He felt guilty for ever being jealous of Chris, for being cold to you, for questioning Stella's judgement of her own feelings. All of it comes welling up in his chest, this feeling of overwhelming guilt threatening to drown him for a moment. You can see it happening, the panic attack coming on that you've witnessed before. You know how hard he is on himself, how much he wants to be perfect for everyone else because letting anyone down is akin to a waking nightmare.

"Listen to me." You beg, willing him to open his eyes so he can see how serious you are right now. "Lando, look at me."

Lando's eyes flutter open after a moment and you smile at him. "You are a good dad. The perfect dad for Stella, I swear to you. The first thing she asks me when I pick her up from school is always 'Is Lando home yet?' but since we came home from Switzerland, it's always 'is dad home yet?' Dad. That little girl sees you as her dad and that's the best gift you've ever given me. Do you remember what you told that horrendous PR girl last year?" You pause and Lando chuckles, that day last year in Miami flashing before his eyes.

"You told her Stella and I were the center of your world but you know what? You're the center of mine and Stella's world. I don't think you realize how important you are to other people, to us. Neither of us could survive without you, and that alone makes you worthy of being my husband and my little girl's father, okay?"

Tears stream down both of your faces as the words you've just said hang in the air between you, heavy and silent. You stay quiet, the reverberation of your words etching themselves into Lando's bones. He knows you're right, of course you are. But knowing you're right and beginning to believe it by himself? That was proving to be a little bit harder. But your words help him realize that he's doing a better job than he might think he is.

"Okay." He rasps out before covering your lips with yours, deperatly trying to show you just how much he loves you.

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[lastoneout]

OH MY FUCKING GOD??

We actually managed to get ahold of the doctor I saw last before I left yesterday(who I believe was my doctor for the whole stay) and he said that the nurse was either misinformed or straight up lying to me about what dose I was being given AND they denied me medication he prescribed!!

Apparently, they usually start patients with 5mg of oxycodone once they're in their rooms after surgery and IF THAT ISNT ENOUGH they are instructed to give me another dose to bring me up to 10mg and if it wears off I should have been given more even if it was within six hours, so yeah the nurses not only TOLD ME I was being given 10mg when I fucking WASN'T, they were ALSO SUPPOSED TO GIVE ME MORE MEDS THE SECOND I SAID WHAT THEY'D ALREADY GIVEN ME WASN'T HELPING OR IF THEY WORE OFF EARLY AND THE WHOLE "YOU ONLY CAN TAKE IT EVERY 6 HOURS EVEN IF IT WEARS OFF AND YOU'RE SOBBING AND AT A 10" THING WAS HORSESHIT.

The pharmacy ALSO did not fill all of the scripts they were given?? The doctor told us that on top of the pain meds he prescribed miralax to help with the ungodly, agonizing bloating I'm dealing with AND A MUSCLE RELAXER TO HELP WITH THE PAIN neither of which were given to me OR EVEN PUT ON MY DISCHARGE PAPERWORK.

The Doctor not only apologized profusely, he said he's going to talk to the nurses I had and let them know what they were doing was directly contrary to his instructions and that isn't fucking okay, and up the dose of the painkiller with a new script since the current one just isn't helping enough and the only thing I have to do is bring in and swap whatever I have left of the old ones, AND make sure the muscle relaxer and miralax get filled!!

He also let us know the setting my shunt is at, the headache I have is normal but if it gets really bad or lasts more than a few days (or if I just feel like something isn't right) that I should call back or just go to the ER, that I should be drinking 64oz of water a day as well as whatever electrolyte drinks I want, AND I can have coffee which should help, and sprite or ginger ale or anything I think will help with the nausea.

I take the shit I said about the doctor back HE knew what the fuck he was doing, the nursing staff and pharmacy just fucked the hell up for whatever reason. Which like...ngl given that two of the nurses were standing in the hallway, ignoring my repeated requests for help and the fact that I was literally sobbing in agony at even the lightest touch in favor of shit talking me!! I feel like maybe we had a case of at least some of the nurses being assholes for no reason. I will probably never know why but I do have a buzz cut, am giving off undeniably queer ass vibes, and had gay pride buttons on my bag, I live in Arizona, and I'm almost certain my gender in the system is set as nonbinary so....I can say for sure but it does makes me wonder.

(Honestly tho it's probably just them being understaffed and stressed and the whole "med school essentially teaches you that all patients are so stupid you can't trust anything they say AND drug addicts waiting to happen" thing and/or the fact that the worst people in the world will always seek out positions of power and being a nurse is a great way for terrible people to gain concerning amounts of power over vulnerable people.)

I'm still never going to this fucking hospital again unless I have literally no other choice tho. They have a long history of treating me and my family like complete and utter shit—like the horror stories I could tell I s2g they nearly killed my mom due to neglecting her severely infected leg for TWELVE HOURS—that place is run by people who literally only care about profit and staffed with the worst, most cruel and careless nurses I've ever met(and that sucks because they are partnered with the local university so basically ALL nursing students in my city train there) and the few that do give a shit are so stressed and miserable they can barely provide care at all.

Christ alive. What a fucking hellhole. Glad I was right about these last two days being a nightmare of bullshit and I never, ever should have been treated that way. Small comfort, but it's still a comfort.

Anyway I'm gonna go take my new, correctly dosed meds, eat something, and take a nap o7 sorry for all the venting, hopefully this is the last of it.

[oli-ribbun-ver]

EP 4 RAMBLE PART 3 FINAL!!

(ft the other episodes! but mainly ep 4!)

okay actually i think this is more of a gangle ramble now but thats fine

part 1

part 2

CONTINUATION OF THE GANGLE PEOPLE-PLEASER PART OF THE RAMBLE FROM PART 2!

lets see... where did i leave off... RIGHT!!

There are a lot of parts in ALL episodes where she doesn't want to cause problems for people. Which is typically normal for everyone, HOWEVER. Her idea of 'causing problems' is her opening up to people about how she truly feels, or even voicing her feelings in general if they're about someone.

I've already gone over the Pomni conversation and the bit where she has a mini breakdown, and I said I'd include even more of the other episodes in this, so! Let's begin at Ep 1!

Let's talk about what I've observed in episode one.

YES THIS IS IMPORTANT.

Notice how it's emphasized she says it quietly? (I know it's for comedic effect, but EVERYTHING seems to be important for every character, like how the darkness from the bucket on Kinger's head in Ep 2 helped him remember something about Ragatha before immediately forgetting it and then the reason he only remembers things in the darkness is explained! Seems like a minor detail that means nothing, turns out to be HUGE.

She doesn't want to cause a problem. In this case, the 'problem' would be her fully interrupting the conversation because she's worried about her friend. In the mind of a people pleaser, even if it helps someone out, you feel a sense of pressure on you when mentioning someone needs help to others, because "What if I cause a problem or make them mad? I don't wanna do that!", those thoughts are pretty normal, ESPECIALLY for people-pleasers.

"Wait, what about Zooble?" Is said so quietly, you can barely hear it. She either doesn't want her voice to be heard, or she DOES but is too scared to say it more loudly because of some version of the thoughts I described.

not as important but I'd like to note how she literally says NOTHING. like. nothing. i just think its kinda funny but also she just. doesnt give her opinion at all? she wasnt even asked if she wanted to go with them to check on kaufmo they just dgaf about her 😭

ANYWAY

This is the only time she gives her opinion and its not even an opinion HELP

Also I'm trying to save space so I don't have to make a part 4 so shortly into this, since I know I'll have to make one anyway, but I wanna mention how she hides behind her broken mask to protect herself after he screams which kinda hits different now that we know more about her mask.

But anyway, I'll make a seperate little portion of this ramble for that!

I'd like to mention too, anytime she is shoved, has something mean said to her, or has her comedy mask broken, she doesn't complain or say anything about it except for maybe an "ow". I find that interesting, because I think the reason for this is that she doesn't want anyone worrying about her. AKA, she doesn't want to cause a 'problem'.

She wants to please. One does not please by being a 'problem', right? That's probably how she thinks, anyway.

When Jax tells her to do something she doesn't want to do, whether he pressured her like that or not, it wouldn't have made a difference, because she can't bring herself to say 'no.'

In my opinion, from what it sounds like when she says "I don't think we—" she probably would've ended up saying yes regardless. Hell, if he'd just followed it up with "do it," I don't see a world in which she wouldn't, although she'd probably be more hesitant.

also why does his back bend like that he looks like hes gonna become an old man any second now HELP 😭

Also, when Jax threatens her by saying "Do it, or I'll tell Ragatha about the figurine thing," I think that really does something to her.

Every time she's either built up the confidence to say no, or someone has tried to help her say no, she's kicked down in one way or another INSTANTLY.

Episode 4 did not help with that. I believe in the next few episodes, she will not be better about saying no. She might even be worse off, knowing Ragatha thinks her being happy is annoying.

People-pleasers are in different worlds. Being the type of people-pleaser Gangle is, it's an entirely different world from others. It carries a lot of what I can only describe as delusion to it.

If Pomni had not stepped up when Gangle thought she was alone after work hours, Gangle would have abstracted. I am a firm believer in that. She was breaking. Losing her mind.

Gangle tells herself to stop trying to achieve her dream while breaking down over the fact her efforts to achieve her dream might not be enough.

So let's go there, and get a

Closer look at Gangle's mental state.

(and why she's most likely the least unwell character)

Gangle is mentally ill. Everyone knows that already, but to what extent?

I'm not sure if we'll ever know.

But what we do know is this.

More likely than not, Gangle almost abstracted in Ep 4. And out of everyone who has EVER vented so far, Gangle has shared relatively nothing. Even after the Spudsy's adventure, what we've seen so far is her never mentioning her feelings except that she feels like she messed everything up.

Gangle doesn't know how to help herself. Zooble can make her feel better, but not for long, because Gangle doesn't think she can get better.

When she was about to vent to Pomni, she stopped as soon as she felt like her feelings were REALLY about to come loose, put her new happy mask back on, said she had no time to talk about her feelings, and fled.

What I think is that Gangle thinks everyone is more important than her, so when she FINALLY got to be important she was happy. Really, truly happy.

The worst thing you can do is make someone think they're not wanted or loved.

Something that makes me sad is that Gangle does not feel wanted or loved.

Gangle was almost gone in Episode 4.

We almost lost Gangle. Had Gangle abstracted, she'd die without ever feeling like people cared about her.

For all we know, she could be the first person to abstract after Kaufmo.

I personally believe that.

The end of Episode 4 was a su¡cide attempt. (is that word allowed? im not sure..l ill censor it anyway)

I saw someone say this in the comment section of either the episode itself or a reaction video, and I completely agree.

They say before people commit su¡cide, they have a sudden boost of joy. Everything will be over soon. Why not enjoy that fact?

I think it was a subconscious su¡cide, at the very least.

She was happy. For the first time without a happy mask to hide how she feels deep down, she was happy.

She had a sudden boost of happiness, and then stepped backwards into oncoming traffic. When someone experiences a near-death situation by their own hand, there's a moment of regret before they are gone. I've experienced it myself, and it is horrid. That feeling is one I will never be able to forget. Even if I never so much as blacked out, I felt faint, and I will NEVER forget that fear, that horror, dread, regret.

The shock. Wondering if it was truly me who did it.

And I think. That is what Gangle experienced.

And then, that feeling was brushed off by Caine, whether she knew he doesn't understand the feeling of wanting to disappear or not, she was quick to blame herself for it all. Both about her performance to Caine, and alone, to nobody but herself.

"I guess I just... cracked under the pressure I suppose."

And maybe, just maybe.

That crack will never heal.

Thank you for listening and reading my ramble, everyone!! I appreciate it more than you know!

Bye bye for now, friends! Have a lovely day!

[fistfuloflightning]

You’re welcome for those wiki tabs! Oh gosh your tags are lovely ☺️—hope you don’t mind me preserving them here:

#hello op I'm here to tell you I am continuing to love your brain#I feel like I need to study the technical aspects of clothing more so thank you for inspiring the wiki tabs on my phone#I like the idea of Fitzwilliam being at the border and sometimes having to return home#like this is the guy that becomes someone's pretend husband because you can just say 'oh yeah uh I'm married already. no you can't meet him#'no it's not because he's not real it's because he's at the border not because you're coming onto me & I don't like you'#that of course is a complete tangent and nothing to do with the actual story. also I just watched 100 days my prince#that's a huge tangent though. lol. anyway:#one can only hope family obligations are infrequent enough. plus she can still brag about how patriotic he is#I wANt mY NepHEWS oN tHE THrown...he's still at the border? send word post haste to return! *feeble old persona switch*#*activate queen dowager mode* where is my OTHER nephew. I will NOT see my family disposed!#actually how is georgiana turning out here? can she play the gayageum O.o??

The whole Darcy/Fitzwilliam/de Bourgh is just hilarious to me. It feels like such a literal three ring circus, with everyone running around and juuust missing each other by minutes

Fitzwilliam would definitely be down to play the ‘fake boyfriend’ for one of his besties, and somehow gets a womanizer reputation out of it even tho he’s never actually been in a relationship.

Lady Catherine would be the scheming dowager, but like just really hilariously obvious to everyone that she’s scheming. She’s got her network of eunuchs and maids running around playing spy, and some of the court officials as well (Collins 👀—who kinda blows cover when he meets Darcy and pretty much gushes about how Darcy’s set up to marry Princess Anne, no he’s not going sit in the throne itself but Darcy’s son will have the throne so that means it’ll stay in the clan in any case! And Darcy just goes cold and backs tf away 😆 )

And you bet Georgiana would play the gayageum (plus a hundred other instruments) and one of the things Darcy enjoys best is sitting outside with his little sister and listening to her practice (perhaps that’s how Wickham first seduced her, finding her practicing alone in a garden pavilion and approaching her like the smooth scumbag he is). I think Lady Catherine is also pretty protective of Georgiana and blames Darcy for not fulfilling his brotherly duties (unsure if in this au she’s aware of the Wickham situation, if thinking that since he failed to protect her Lady Catherine would do it for him and demanding Georgiana be brought to live in the palace which Darcy would ofc fight)

Ngl I think Confucian doctrine weirdly translates well to the values of Regency England as well and I think that’s what originally sold me on this au—the values don’t really change much, women’s place in their respective societies don't change much, and I just find that fascinating. Something like Mr Bennet being a Confucian scholar and teaching his first two daughters to the best of his knowledge, losing steam with Mary, and then absolutely giving up with Kitty and Lydia and just leaving their education to his wife (which is part of the reason they turn out the way they do (and was largely inspired by my favorite P&P fic Mr. Bennet Travels Through Time, read it. please.))

A few more character designs for the Pride and Prejudice Joseon AU: Mr Collins, Lady Catherine, and George Wickham

I’ve been rereading My Royal Awakening and Crush in Spring and those manhwas gave me a bit more inspo for this au. I couldn’t unsee Lady Catherine in eoyeo meori so I turned her into the queen dowager—which would make for some interesting nepotistic dynamics with her nephews if she favors her own clan in politics, and both Darcy and Fitzwilliam are probably not about that life lol.

Darcy could be a junior official at court where he wears his mask constantly as a matter of survival, or maybe even a scholar of Sungkyunkwan. Fitzwilliam is always gone to the border and only comes home when he’s forced to.

And Mr Collins… *deep sigh* Mr Collins is probably in a lesser administrative position and uses his connection with the queen dowager to crawl his way up the ladder.

[iocles]

Shidou HCs :3

it's bbg hour.

• Loud chewer. I just know it 🙁

• Like, he could be in a library, just with a bag of chips, and everything would be fine- until he starts eating them. Shidou and Takis are a lethal combo.

• He's gotta be like half Colombian, my radar is going off (I'm half Colombian, he's got the skills of an atlético nacional player)

• Probably writes emojis into whatever he writes, if he can't text 'em he'll speak them, write them, anything

• Gyaruo. Shidou IS a gyaruo. Yes, he can do parapara

• His hair looks sharp, but is actually pretty soft despite all the product he uses

• Has to buy a new eyeliner every few weeks💔💔

• He steals phones from his friends like a super senior. It is SO annoying

• He only says freaky things to his guy friends, and if he dates anyone, then they have to hear it too

• Spam calls Sae on purpose for no reason, just to say he didn't mean to and it was him "buttdialing"

• You best believe Sae is on the verge of blocking him every time.

• PRO fortnite player, you'll never catch him lacking🙊

• He used to bully kids on Roblox before his account got banned from so many reports from 7 year olds

• Even while people may think he's dumb from first glance, he's actually really smart- he just doesn't try hard enough in some of his classes

• When Shidou was born, he looked like those little troll dolls (still does)

• If he was an American highschool student, he'd be the type to play music REALLY loudly from a speaker in his backpack the moment he walks in.. 😒

• HATES sherpa, I just feel like he's the type to hate sherpa yk

• He makes playlists with stupid names or emojis like "goon👅👅" or something stupid

• FIRE just dance player, he does NOT miss a move and WILL get down

okay, thats all the dumb stuff I can think abt rn, these r kinds just shitpost headcanons at this rate😣 pls tell me u enjoyed before I sulk and quit and never open tumblr again

[snazzynacho]

In Common

Quinn Mossbacher x female oc

Chapter one/?

Summary: Aleena notices a boy around her age stuck on a level in a game she's played. She offers her help, and a lovely friendship turned romance blossoms between them.

Fandom: The White Lotus (Season 1)

Warning(s): no smut.

Tags: rated Y/A fanfic basically, romance, friendship, slowburn (I’ll try), clean romance, awkward flirting, Quinn is autistic.

Read on ao3

Aleena and her grandad are staying at the White Lotus hotel.

For the past half an hour she’s been swimming in the pool while he’s probably off talking his head off with someone.

She’s thankful to get some piece and quiet. She loves her grandad but he’s always talking even when she has headphones on.

Twisting her body around to pick up her cup of apple juice she left on the poolside, she finishes her drink. As she does, her ears twitch at the sound of a familiar melody. She turns and her gaze falls on the boy her age, swwading in the water, holding up his phone in his right hand and a Nintwndo Switch in the other. The Switch plays an iconic Stardew Valley song which Aleena instantly recognises as the sound played in the mines.

He seems to be stuck on a level in the mines and she decides to offer help.

He veers around in the water at the sound of her voice giving him advice. His blue eyes look startled and Aleena feels a guilty churn in her stomach for scaring him.

He quickly turns back to his game and she drifts to the side of the pool to leave, deciding she’s embarrassed herself enough for today. Before she leaves, she hears a voice call out.

“Thanks, I’ve been struggling with this for a while…I kept dying and then losing all my shit in the mines! How did you beat it?” He looks at you as he puts his Switch down on the poolside which Alewna cringes at. Isn't he scared of getting it wet?!

“Uhh, by spending months screaming and trying not to throw the Switch across the room,” she chuckles, holding onto the onto the pool edge “but I eventually got there,”

He chuckles a little at her answer and glimpses at his Switch, remembering himself trying desperately all those times to finish the level for weeks. He smiles at her determination and then back at her.

“Well, you must be really good, because this level has been a nightmare. Those Crave Flies are horrible!”

“Right?! The noise they make makes my stomach churn…” she grimaces, swaying in the water closer to him.

He glances back at his Switch before turning to look at her with an intrigued look on his face.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Sure,”

He looks at her for a moment but is slightly hesitant to ask for the question. Eventually he decides to ask anyway, not being sure how she is going to take it.

“How old are you?”

“That is what you’re asking?” Aleena can't help but snort a laugh. “You know you shouldn't ask a lady that-” she feigns offence but the look on his face tells her he doesn't know she is joking. “I'm kidding. I’m Seventeen. Why?”

He then looks down at the shimmering pool water, watching the ripples of sunlight dance on it, thinking for a few moments before he continues. “No reason…just wondering why someone like you would approach someone like me.“

“What do you mean?”

He thinks about it for a moment, before speaking. “It was just a little surprising. I wasn’t really expecting a complete stranger to help me at first. No one my age really wants anything to do with me,” he looks over at his Switch, cursing to himself for being so open and honest with a stranger.

She shrugs. “To be fair, it was bugging me how many times you were messing up,”

He laughs and it warms her heart for some reason. His eyes drift to her brown ones and back to the Nintendo Switch again. He then notices that he completely forgot to ask her name. “Wait-“ he says, looking back at her. “What’s your name?”

“What’s yours?”

He lets out a small laugh, at her counteract. “It’s Quinn. Yours?”

“Aleena,” she beams.

Quinn smiles, determining that her name is pretty and fitting. He looks back at his Switch again, still a little hesitant about asking a question that has been lingering on his mind for a while. “Can I ask you something else?”

“You know, you don’t have to ask that every time?”

Quinn laughs a little sheepishly at her statement, learning that he does have a habit of asking permission to ask a question. “I guess I do say that a lot, huh?”

“It’s fine,” Aleena giggles. “What were you gonna ask?”

Quinn lets out another small laugh, more of a nervous one this time, as he rubs the back of his neck, wondering how exactly to ask this question.

“Uh- well, I was wondering if…if you maybe wanted to go hang out together while we’re staying here…like, as friends?”

“Sure! It’s nice to finally find a gamer out in the wild,” she smiles. “What’s your Switch username by the way?” She asks as she leaves the pool to retrieve her switch from her bag, drying off first.

He seems to follow her lead, as he gets out the pool too, sitting on the empty lounge chair next to hers.

Quinn looks at Aleena with excitement at her willingness to hang out. He grabs his Switch to share his username with you. “It’s uh- Moss19. What’s yours?”

“Turtleena. T-U-R-T-L-E-E-N-A,”

He laughs at your username for a moment, amused by it, before looking back up at you with a smile. “Nice username. I’m gonna add you as a friend. I’m guessing you like Turtles?”Quinn clicks on the button to add her as a friend. His Switch makes an affirming sound when it obliges. He grins and looks back at Aleena. “There. We’re friends now.”

“Yay, thanks, I’m adding you too. And yeah, you could say that,” she chuckles, fiddling with the stitched corner of her purple towel. “Do you like Moss, then?” Aleena jokes but before either of them can say another word, her grandad calls for her from across the pool.

Quinn looks around when hearing her grandad hollering for her at the other end of the pool. He looks back at her and gives a sympathetic look as well as a shrug. “Guess you have to go?”

“Yeah, sorry.” she shoves her switch back into her bag, grabbing her pink towel to wrap herself with. “Well, I’ll see you around. Can you even message people on a switch? Or can you only text on a phone? Oh, here’s my number anyway,” she rambles on and uses a piece of her towel to wipe the chlorine water off his arm, and scribbles her number on his arm using a glittery pen she found in the bottom of her bag.

Quinn watches as she scribbles her number onto his arm, like etching a tattoo, completely endeared by her rambling. He admires her work of tattoo artistry on his arm, the sparkly red ink contrasts against his pale skin with every stroke.

“No worries, I’ll message you. And…yeah, you can message through the Switch. Can’t call or anything though,” he’s surprised he can keep his cool, at her touch.

“Oh right. Of course.” she stands in front of him kind of awkwardly, not wanting to leave. “Well, bye Quinn” she smiles once more, waves, and walks away.

Quinn smiles at Aleena, giving a small wave back, a bit surprised at her slight hesitation to leave, before watching her walk off to her grandad.

Sitting back in the chair where he was previously sitting, Quinn stares up at the blue sky with a small smile plastered on his face.

The smile quickly fades as he realises he never told her his age, and he might seem weird in not doing so after asking her how old she is. He sits back up and yells, “I’m sixteen by the way!”

Aleena whips her head around at the sound of Quinn’s voice from a few metres away, not quite registering why he has said that, at first.

“Oh, okay!” she shouts back, and laugh to yourself. These two are one awkward pair, and Aleena loves it.

__________

YOU DO NOT HAVE PERMISSION TO TRANSLATE, TO STEAL OR TO REPOST ANY OF MY WORKS TO THIS OR OTHER PLATFORMS.

A/N: I headcanon that Quinn plays Minecraft, Stardew Valley, Animal Crossing, and Mario Kart on his switch. (these are the only games I play either lol.) And I headcanon that he obviously has an Xbox at home.

[aisha-galaxia]

So apparently, the Assassination Classroom anime aired 8 fucking years ago so happy birthday AssClass 🌟

[rei-ismyname]

Yeah, it's pretty hard to swallow. I will say that both teams of X-Men were gathering intelligence on the place while juggling other issues. Rogue wanted to free Chuck immediately while Cyclops advocated for gathering better intel. Directly after this Rogue declared her team X-Men and Beast/Cyclops agreed to 'move their plans up.'

That feels like the Alaskan team did have awareness of and objection to Graymalkin plus plans to shut it down even if they didn't want Chuck. It's further shown by how quickly an effective plan to neutralize the prison and get people out came together in X-Men #8. That could have been made up on the fly, but it's just as likely it was a preexisting plan, or part of one. It's not clear.

I could handwave all this as the X-Men doing their best (they can't be everywhere at once, Graymalkin seems to have amazing funding and resources, problems and threats keep popping up) but Raid on Graymalkin shattered any of that. Even the name is telling - it's 'raid' not 'liberation' or 'destruction.' Cyclops set the mission as 'breaking it' but gave up halfway. Events are notorious for OOC behaviour and while there are explanations for some of the conflict (Scurvy) there's no good explanation for all the X-Men just leaving.

After Scurvy goes down Ellis stands there with 7 other very easy to knock out/send to Limbo/any of the methods OP mentioned and just keeps giving the X-Men reasons to keep pushing, something they're very capable of doing. She brings out the trustees and displays the level of cruelty they're subjected to, reveals they have dozens more prisoners who'll be getting the same treatment, threatens towns with sonic cannons (sound weapons in space, sure) and then weakens her position by letting them take their teammates.

It's this point that makes the X-Men look terrible to me, to the extent that I wonder what the point was. I get the impression we're meant to believe Beast when he says Scott had no choice, but I don't think the book was convincing about that. If they truly backed down due to the sonic cannons, the cannons are still there except they now have zero leverage. Ellis can blow them up anytime they like. It seems that Xavier was what made each leaders mind up, but he wants to be in prison and there's dozens of mutants who don't.

In addition to everything said about Kurt and Omega Red, Kurt had also spearheaded enlightened justice reform on Krakoa with the Legionaries, right up until the end. He should have a very personal stake in the outcome but he has little to say. I speculated that he and Kwannon were influenced/controlled by Xavier - Kwannon calling Kurt 'Old friend,' teleporting the two very close to Xavier's cell, 'a monster of a different kind is what's needed,' and being hunched flanking Xavier. That's not just OOC, it's unbelievable without outside influence.

Maybe Xavier was doing his thing and he walked everyone through the portal, but it wasn't confirmed on the page. It would be an explanation, but without it they did it of their own free will. I agree it makes all the X-Men look terrible, both leaders as well as everyone else who didn't have opinions on the subject. I hope it's explained, otherwise they do not look sympathetic.

With Sentinels ending next issue, I'm wary that Omega Red will either be forgotten or returned to villainy through brainwashing.

Alright, since the events of Raid on Greymalkin directly affects Arkady, let's talk about it and how terribly the X-men have all been written in this narrative for this story to work and what it likely means for Arkady’s future.

So, in the first issue of Sentinels, Omega Red was captured and brought to Greymalkin Prison by the new Sentinels that Larry Trask and Warden Ellis have created to hunt down "bad" mutants. Keep in mind, Omega Red did absolutely nothing to deserve being thrown into a place like this, as his arc in the From the Ashes Infinity Comic shows. In fact, no one imprisoned here deserves to face what goes on behind these closed doors:

Here, we are shown the state of this prison. It's flithy, rat-ridden, and disgusting. These characters have to live in this place. Blob is being tortured, and -- as we later come to learn in the events of Raid -- brainwashed KGB-style through this method of torture to become a "trustee." I'm going to focus on this a bit as it is important to not only show how this is going to affect the imprisoned characters moving forward from this storyline, but also how it paints the X-men in a very bad light for allowing this to continue.

So, the characters who are imprisoned in Greymalkin currently are all characters who have been villains at one point or another. Every one of these characters has faced judgment and hatred for being what they are and what they were made into. Omega Red is a prime example of this. As a child, he feared and hated his powers:

This is not a view of himself that has improved in adulthood. Arkady still views himself as a monster, that his abilities make him a bad person:

And this is a view he holds even after his time spent on Krakoa where he was able to start turning his life around. He doesn't have to kill to live anymore, and Sage had done a lot to help him improve himself while he lived there and worked as a member of X-Force. Even after all that and her encouragement, the doubt lingers. The self-loathing is still there. I know Arkady is not the only prisoner trapped in Greymalkin right now who struggles with such doubts. Who carries guilt like he does. It's a subconscious view that a lot of mutants have about themselves because society has pretty much told them for their entire lives that they're horrible people because of their powers. That they're all monsters and freaks of nature that need to be killed or locked up. And now, these characters have been put into a place where those fears and doubts about themselves and their place in the world are being indoctrinated into them to be the only thought they're allowed to have about themselves:

This creed that these trustees are forced to recite and believe in is just sickening. Any amount of self-worth that any of them started to get in their lives as of late is being stripped away again in the cruelest possible way. They're being told -- through torture mind you -- that they were born evil. That they're monsters. That they are lesser than humans and lesser than any other mutants because the genetic lottery gave them powers that were a burden and a curse rather than something that can easily be used to benefit others or that would allow them to pass as a normal human like so many of the X-men can.

Which brings this all around to the main point: the X-men. Before this new era even started, I want to point out a few things. The first is that the X-men worked with all of these current prisoners in one form or another while living on Krakoa. They (eventually) gave every one of these characters a chance. Blob was a bartender. Omega Red got cured of his need to kill and became a member of X-Force. Theresa was able to reconcile with Sean and Black Tom and bring their family together. The X-men were able to see these changes and progress made by all of these people. In Omega Red’s case, they even voted on the decision to give him a second chance, with Kurt being a voting member of the Quiet Council who decided to listen to Sage’s argument to have him brought back. They should know that these former villains have been making an effort to improve themelves. The last time they saw any of them, these former villains were all allies, which makes comments like this seem very out of character for someone like Kurt to make:

Kurt should know Arkady is an ally. But yet he's acting like Omega Red is a monster and that nothing he did on Krakoa to improve himself even mattered. Which, again, is something that all of these prisoners are being tortured into believing about themselves. Hearing the X-men hold the same view about you as these horrible guards do is not something that will make a person feel welcomed or loved or help them believe that they can be better than what the world made them into. The trust that Omega Red had started to build on Krakoa with the X-Men is going to start to crumble because of how they are continuing to view him and the plight that all these characters are in.

Which brings me to my next point: just what are the X-men doing? When Krakoa fell, Orchis had mutants under siege. They rounded up mutants in camps to strip them of their powers and torture them. The X-men and Avengers didn't stand for that and fought tooth and nail to get rid of Orchis. They went to war for their kind, for their right to exist. And they beat Orchis. But what did they really end up gaining at the end of it all? Well, if you're the X-men, you got some variation of peace or concessions, getting bases, time to relax and enjoy the world and your victory. Being able to pass for human really helps in that regard. If you weren’t able to pass, however?

You faced violence. Discrimination. Hatred. Society is not kind to mutants who look different. Who are unable to blend in. These were the mutants --villain or not -- who benefited the most from Krakoa. Because they all finally had a place where they could be safe and accepted no matter their looks or abilities. When the X-men finally beat Orchis, they seemed content to leave everything at that and didn't try to reclaim any piece of what they had lost for the sake of those mutant brothers and sisters who were bound to struggle the most without a mutant community to support them.

They unfortunately seemed to just accept that everything was still fine since they themselves weren't personally being bothered by the hatred. But all the while, mutants have started to slip through the cracks without support from the wider mutant community. A community that the X-men are supposed to protect. And this extends beyond characters like Omega Red and the other Greymalkin prisoners, although they are the ones currently being tortured the most. Lifeguard. Chamber. Firestar. These are all characters that have faced a world that hates and fears them without the X-men doing anything to help them. Why haven't the X-men done anything? Because so many of them just gave up and settled for what they have. They had the luxury to be able to do so because they look human. Their powers aren't horrendous abilities that they can't control or that kill people.

Even still, even if they want to take a break, they should all know the fight is not done. They are all well aware of what was done to their former home, the X-Mansion. They know it was turned into a prison. Jubilee scouted it out. Rogue and Scott had phone calls about it. And yet they did nothing. They let it continue to stand, this place which sullies the name of the X-men and their history. This place -- which treats mutants in a similar way to how Orchis treated mutants -- is allowed to continue to grow and thrive even after the X-men and Avengers had just put their foot down and said such places were not going to be tolerated. Now they're tolerating it? Why? There is absolutely no reason to wait. And yet they did. They did absolutely nothing to correct this injustice towards their fellow mutants until one of their own was impacted. Until they themselves finally started to face the same things characters like Omega Red had already been facing for months now. It was only when they were personally threatened that they decided to do anything. Which brings us to the Raid itself.

The Raid... was a mess. A disaster. A series of unfortunate events that didn't have to be. Instead of going into this place, seeing the atrocities committed on the grounds of their first home and feeling a strong urge to eliminate this threat, what did they do? They fought amongst themselves. They argued. They did absolutely nothing to help any of the prisoners. Kurt left Omega Red to rot in his cell. They did nothing to free the trustees nor made any sort of real threats of anger towards the warden for what she was doing to their fellow mutants. Rogue came the closest to saying this place was wrong, but all her concern was devoted to Charles Xavier, the only mutant willingly imprisoned in this place. No concern was given to any of the others at all until it was too late.

And yet, again, this whole thing just seems wrong and runs as an antithesis to what the X-men are, what they stand for, and what they would actually tolerate. A big laser gun should be something they should be able to take care of. The X-men shouldn't be this easily cowed into obedience after everything they recently faced with the fall of Krakoa and how they fought back against Orchis. Thry shouldn't be taking "no" for an answer. They shouldn't allow for this prison to stand. They NEVER should have. And yet, time and time again here, they have failed in their work to actually help their kind, to make the world a better place for mutants. This is not the X-men I fell in love with reading about. This is not the X-men that I know. The X-men should be doing so much better than this. But they're not. They've rolled over and accepted that this is the reality and that they are powerless against a podcaster and her satellite weapon.

This is something the X-men should have never allowed to happen. They should have never allowed things to get this far. And as a result, by doing nothing when they could and SHOULD have been doing something, their enemies were allowed to regroup and begin targeting the most vulnerable members of the mutant community. The X-men failed in their responsibilities and let a place full of cruel and unusual punishment to stand because they weren't the mutants being personally affected by what was happening. And now, so many more have to pay the price for their inaction.

Where does that leave the unfortunate prisoners of this place? At this point, beyond being torn down in mind and body, it's hard to say. Every single one of them does have the right to call the X-men out on their failure, though. They all would be very justified in their anger at being left behind, both after Krakoa fell and here at this prison. In Omega Red’s case, I could very easily see this whole experience souring him on the X-men again and making him very unwilling to trust them again. Because even after everything that these former villains have been trying to do, there's still some part of the X-men that seem to view these unfortunate souls as monsters that deserve to be treated like animals. That they deserve to get beaten, fed rotten food and forced to sleep in wretched cells.

The X-men have failed in their role to protect mutants. They have failed to stand for what is right and failed to help their fellow mutants from being condemned to one of the worst fates a mutant can face: to be weaponized and used like a tool to attack other mutants. The Raid on Greymalkin story arc is a blight on X-men comics and is an example of what not to do when doing a story like this. Characters and their histories cannot be ignored. Petty fights over arbitrary issues should not be taking place when there are SO many higher priorities that need to be taken care of. This story was nothing but disappointing and sours me on the direction Marvel is taking the X-men. There is nothing to look forward to. Like the mutant prisoners who were left behind to be further tortured and devalued, we the readers have been left to a similar fate, wondering when in the world we will finally be freed from this prison that Marvel's writers are putting us in and what we -- and the characters we love -- will even come out on the other side looking like.

[silusvesuius]

nnnnnnnnnnnnno maa'am

[sergle]

perhaps it doesn't need to be that Deep, but some of y'all's relationship with age and youth truly stresses me out. you're doing this thing

like nevermind that using reaction pics/gifs in place of a text response is not something that Olds Do, if it's becoming less common on tumblr, i think that's been in the past like. 2 - 4 years. nevermind that... you truly stress me out using Thirty Five as the old and out of touch age to make a joke about. oh my god girl... 35.... please!!! you don't need to be so scared of aging!!! 35 is young! the imaginary 35 year old mom being used for this joke is a Young Woman! my first instinct is to make jokes abt how I am, in fact, geriatric (which I like to do) but I gotta break character and be like. hey you guys don't Actually think that 30 is elderly, right. we're joking when we say we're old, right?? you aren't actually internalizing that. right??????

also I spent like 5 years curating my Fotos Folder and I've got so many good ones... so I am actually probably gonna keep using them when I AM old. I love these images

[greenerteacups]

Hi GT,

Forgive me if this is a stupid question, but I absolutely love the recs you've given (you've introduced me to tomione, and I love it!) and I was wondering if it's possible to give you some recs in return? There are some books and fics that definitely have dramione / got vibes, and I was wondering if I could share them with you!

So glad you've enjoyed them! Feel free to rec me anything you want. I've read most of the classic recs in terms of fic and adjacent content (Cruel Prince et al), but I'll try anything that's well-written. My tastes run towards weird and/or audaciously creative stuff, and I can forgive a lot of weaknesses in plot on the grounds of (1) ambition or (2) character work. My turnoffs are instalove, protagonists who can't fail, and most Y/A (I'm not a hater, I swear, I just need characters who can say "fuck" when their leg gets chopped off.)

I'm also a fan of weird and fucked-up dynamics.(Wuthering Heights was my favorite book for a while, and as a teenager I wrote an AU in which the book ends on a long sex scene where Heathcliff fucks Cathy's ghost and then immediately gets murdered by Catherine 2.) Obviously, I am very normal.

[shirogane-oushirou]

no promises anymoooooreeeee i'll appear online when i appear online 😭 every time i say "ooh i think life is almost done being overwhelming!" it. becomes even more overwhelming in the dumbest ways. all i can manage rn when i'm not stressing myself into a shut-down state is staring at the wall while listening to youtube essays + mindlessly crocheting.

i might queue up ppls art and fics w/o commentary in the tags... i want other ppl to see what all of my cool friends have made, but i genuinely can't think right now with this monstrous brain fog. i'm really sorry, just. yeah. maybe i'll think of some way to make it up later!!! once the dust has settled!!!! but until then i wuv u and miss u. smiles.

[venting in tags including familial manipulation and ableism. i. didn't mean to write all of that, thiss was originally going to be a main blog post but. aaaaaAAAAAA!!!!!

also no need for replies or anything, i'd turn them off for just the one post if i could kjsndkn, i just needed to get things out and go eep jsjndsfdn ok bye bye bye bye!!!!]

[moe-broey]

Also @ my it takes Sharena to break free from the "Gustav was a good man/Father" Askr family unreliable narrator hivemind. That the Main Reason she can't/doesn't is because it's the One Thing that's protecting her. That's stopping her from having a catastrophic world/life fucking breakdown about it. Heavily influenced by her brother and mother's feelings about it.

There's something else, I think Sharena is specifically protecting herself from too. She was Triandra's sister, too.

[dimiclaudeblaigan]

For anyone annoyed by the Tumblr changes, if you're on desktop I would recommend using XKit Rewritten (and New XKit for any other odd changes you'd like to try out, including even older aspects of Tumblr). It's the older version of Rewritten but most of the extensions on it are still supported/do work). I can't guarantee they'll definitely make a fix for it/a direct fix for this particular UI change, but it's possible that they might since they usually make extensions that allow you to essentially revert changes made to the UI. Other various UI extensions (such as old ones from Tumblr's past UIs that the extensions basically just revert you to) may also help fix up your UI.

As you might expect these extensions need to be on to work/revert the appearance of the UI (so if you turn them off you'll revert to the current state of Tumblr), but while they are on you can curate your UI to look how you want it. This goes for both New XKit and XKit Rewritten. I use both and I couldn't live without them lol. You can get some big oldies of Tumblr's, like classic search on Rewritten or the Tweaks extension (full of various UI tweaks) on New XKit (including the old shade of blue Tumblr used a long time ago that I never stopped using!).

Unfortunately I don't know of any solution for mobile if it affects mobile at any point (or if it already has), but whenever you're on desktop, I would definitely recommend both these versions of XKit. I have so many extensions from them that I often don't even realize when there are UI changes (remember how Tumblr added themes for your dashboard? I didn't even notice for the longest time because I've had New XKit on the whole time) because Tumblr's default coding is overwritten by the extensions I have on.

[goblin-enjoyer]

I swear why are half the things i like/fandoms im in made of mostly younger people while the other half are mostly older people? what are the zoggin odds with that?

How it feels being 20 in a fandom with a bunch of 30-40 somethings.

VS how it feels being 20 in a fandom with a bunch of 14-17 somethings.

like am do i just have extremely odd luck with things i like or is this just what being 20 is like?