#i'm feeling old for a reason I can't tell
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Everyone's just talking about how hot Lighter is, and yeah he's attractive, but he has such a painful story and barely anyone is mentioning it??? I haven't even finished all his hangout stuff yet, but already I can tell that he's still extremely troubled by what happened in his past.
During the film we watch with him he wasn't scared of the blood and gore, mainly since there wasn't as much as expected (and he wore his glasses so he wouldn't faint), but he was scared about what one of the characters did that caused a disaster, something he relates to in a sense, saying that even if he looked calm his hands were shaking. I wanted to tell him that he can stay and calm down all he wants, give him a more relaxing movie to watch free of charge, because to me he felt so uncomfortable after watching the movie because he didn't expect it to hit so close
And don't get me started on this man's physical injuries. He's covered in MASSIVE scars, realistically, if we were to map out how they got there, he would've nearly had his arm cut off or just be cut in half. He mentioned that another reason he wears sunglasses is because of an old injury, even tho it's basically already healed he just no longer feels comfortable going out without them. He mentioned his neck and legs weren't what they once were, and judging by his backstory that's mainly because he's always fighting. He's the type to strain himself to whatever extent necessary do get the task done
He also is just genuinely so attached to his gang and so scared of losing them, but even then he stays strong because others need him to. He also saw Caesar almost die, his leader and a good friend, and yet he stayed strong for Lucy. He goes off by himself to deal with things because he doesn't want to get others in the gang involved, and he's just so genuinely earnest. He's caring and awkward and bad at hiding it, but he's still that Champion, a position he takes pride in because it means he's succeeding at protecting his loved ones, something he failed to do in the past
Speaking of the past, back to him being self-sacrificing, he went into debt and basically signed his life away to pay it off after his group all died all to make sure their families were taken care of. He knew that businessmen were greedy and there's a good chance it would take decades for him to pay them off, if he ever would, but he still did it. He described himself as a zombie back then, and only until after he got comfortable with the gang did he break out of that state
I know people gawk over attractive characters, I can't say I don't as well at times, but every time he's on screen and anything even remotely seems to upset him I just wanna make him comfortable. He's relaxed, but not comfortable, and I don't think he's been comfortable for a very long time. He says everything's in the past, but I'm pretty sure he's still trying to convince himself of that, because what happened in his past had such a big impact on his future that it's still in the back of his mind day in and day out
#sorry I just like angst#and I love characters who make easy angst#I need to blend him#Miammey's Nonsense#zzz#zzzero#zenless zone zero#zzz lighter#lighter lorenz
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Ranting about Romantic Prongsfoot or Prongsfoot in general??
I saw someone post saying romantic Prongsfoot is basically incest. I sighed then scrolled. Was that so hard? Seeing an opinion you don't like, and then just moving on? Because that's exactly what romantic Prongsfoot is, an opinion.
The fandom analyzed canon Sirius's behavior, actions and dialogue when it involved James and we all pretty much came to the conclusion that Sirius's entire world revolved around James. Like a dog, a man's best friend, he was incredibly loyal and devoted to James.
Then, some of us decided to take a step further and made them soulmates in a platonic sense. Not best friends, brothers, but soulmates. Like we're talking Viktor and Jayce level.
That's like the one thing wolfstar, Jegulus and Prongsfoot shippers have in common; James and Sirius are soulmates. Or even something deeper if you want to take a step further. All the famous fanfics have this, where James and Sirius have Something between them, even if it's a Jegulus or wolfstar fanfic.
That's why some of you feel like romantic Prongsfoot is incest. Because most fanfics have written them as brothers, you're reading two characters that are portrayed as brothers so often, you start to perceive them as brothers. You think they're brothers.
And you're allowed to! No like, you're very allowed to. Can I emphasize again, how often fanfics portray them as brothers? Like genuinely, no one's stopping you.
But you have to understand, that's your perspective, your view, your opinion. It's not a fact because they are not brothers. They are close as brothers yes, but not actually.
They don't have a ragbros situation. Sirius wasn't adopted into the Potter family at 8 or something and then raised by them after. That's probably incest. I have an adopted brother, I do know.
He was adopted into the family at 16. You're considered an adult at 18 in the wizarding world. He had inheritance from his uncle Alphard. It's said he moved out on his own later.
All this implies Sirius didn't live that long with Potters. I'm not saying Sirius didn't develop a familial bond with the Potters because he was too old during the adoption. He probably did see Euphimia and Monty as his parents at some point.
But he was James' best friend so much longer than their son. A couple of limited years with the Potters is nothing compared to the 5+ years he spent being James' best friend. I say limited because he keeps being that best friend even after he moved out.
That bond, if you want, can be solidified into something sibling-level after the adoption. You can have your headcanons, fantasies and fanfics where Sirius runs away to a healthier, welcoming family!!
But I don't think their bond could just change like that?? Again, around 5+ years of having this special connection, where they are used to living together, sharing the same space, being glued to each other, why would being adopted into the family change anything between them?? Besides like, getting yelled at together by James' parents, their routine would have stayed the same.
And you're telling me I CANT romanticize that?? Because YOU see them as brothers??? When they're so much deeper than that???
Would it not have solidified it more?? Would it not have gotten deeper?? Especially when they have privacy now.
Like you can't tell me they weren't having conversations where they bared their souls to each other, diving in and revealing the ugliest parts to each other, deepest fears, insecurities, quite literally breaking themselves down into pieces because it's just them there and then putting those pieces back together, glued with loving words and gentle touches because it's them. Or fucking. Up to y'all idk.
I'm going off the rails. The point is, you can dislike, like, hate, love ships for whatever reasons, I genuinely don't care. But if you're hating on a ship because you FEEL like it's incest, please just keep it to yourself. No one wants to be told their favorite ship reminds you of incest.
Again, tagging filters exist, I don't consider prongsfoot a rarepair but it's true people rarely write them. You literally cannot accidentally stumble upon prongsfoot fanfics and literally no one's forcing you to read them??
Prongsfoot is like the least problematic thing in this fandom?? And its barely problematic!! People ship ACTUAL incest!! Like starcest!! (...good for them but also like...)
calling prongsfoot incest when actual incest ships exists is insane.
#fellas is it gay if the entire fandom hcs you and your bsf to have a Thing but its not romanticized?#platonic prongsfoot#romantic prongsfoot#prongsfoot#sirius black#james potter#dead gay wizards#mauraders#mauraders era#regulus black#jegulus#remus lupin#maurders era#peter pettigrew#sirius and james#padfoot#moony#moony wormtail padfoot and prongs#gay dead wizards#sirius loves james#james loves sirius#and they were roommates
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been rotating a minakushi/mikoto concept, help
concept is basically: kushina and minato have an open relationship because he takes Long Missions; kushina starts hooking up with mikoto. kushina and minato would have been 19-20 when itachi is born, so i think mikoto is definitely already married. on the fence about how much fugaku knows about this and his opinion. leaning towards "fugaku is cool with mikoto hooking up with other women, because their marriage is largely political and he doesn't consider kushina a threat to their marriage*"
*for multiple reasons-- kushina can't get mikoto pregnant (important because this is why he married mikoto), kushina's not going to displace him as head of house or head of clan or gain sway within the clan from it (because she's not an uchiha), my understanding is that in japanese culture f/f romance is often seen as a phase/immature and not necessarily "real"
anyway then minato gets nominated for hokage and is back in konoha mostly full time again. instead of breaking up with mikoto, kushina pitches a threesome, and mikoto goes for it without consulting or telling fugaku. itachi is a toddler and she'd thought she'd be going back to active missions but the clan wants her to be a perfect housewife with more babies and she loves her kid but she's BORED and minakushi make her feel good. kushina is kind of envisioning this as a continuation of the "vaguely open marriage" arrangement mikoto has because kushina is not a homewrecker, but minato doesn't give a shit (and is maybe even MORE into it?) so she changes her mind quickly. she and mikoto are "best friends" so no one blinks an eye at mikoto occasionally being over late
threesome doesn't last very long because minato becoming hokage means a lot of power for him but also a lot of loss of privacy. they mutually agree to break it off and mikoto and kushina remain close friends. the timeline is such that sasuke is definitely fugaku's, but also people will question this later (i went back and forth on it, because i don't think minato is the type to abandon a baby thta's biologically his, and mikoto isn't the type to slip up with her contraceptive & i like the idea that ninja contraceptives are really really good)
anyway. flash forward a year and a half-ish and naruto is born. the affair creates a butterfly effect where, idk, there's an uchiha guard or maybe even mikoto herself on kushina's protection squad, and this is enough to tip the obito vs minato battle hard enough in minato's favor that his intervention is better. leaning towards the kyuubi being partially extracted such that there's still an attack on the village itself, but kushina reseals it into her and comes out physically spent but in no danger of dying.
so the namikaze-uzumaki family is all alive, but kushina isn't doing well physically or mentally and minato is both exhausted and stupid busy trying to clean up the mess and they have a one day old baby and no family help. (kakashi is fourteen and jiraiya is off trying to track down the mask man, and yep that's about all they have to lean on.) so mikoto shows up with baby sauske strapped to her back and is like "okay, we're a village and we help each other"
kushina: no, no, i want to be a good mom, i can do this--
mikoto: we're helping each other. you're helping me by sitting with the babies while they nap and i'm helping you by making a list of chores that need to be done by the help your husband, our benign dictator, is going to assign
kushina: but i want to be the one who--
mikoto: i know, i wanted to too. but you need to rest and hiring someone to clean your house because your husband won't your husband can't feels SO good
and mikoto tells fugaku she's basically living at her friend's just while she gets back on her feet (and isn't this SO good for the clan, her helping the hokage's wife with their baby), but then she just. never really leaves
for this AU i'm also toying with the idea of fugaku/the uchiha in general still wanting a coup and mikoto NOT wanting it because she wants to fuck the hokage in this universe, so there's some drama about what happens if the hokage cucks the uchiha clan head??? but also mikoto lets itachi be pushed through the ranks because she wants him to take over as clan head ASAP
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Billy opens his eyes in September 1985, in Hawkins hospital, and he's not happy to be alive. If you asked him, he would've preferred to stay dead or — unfortunately he never was dead — in a coma. Lying in bed like a withering away vegetable, blissfully unaware of his own existence or non-existence.
Gods have not been that merciful. Hargrove wakes up and doesn't even know his own body anymore. He needs to learn everything anew, starting with walking, or eating usual food — like an 18-year-old baby, for fuck's sake.
He's also bitter at everyone — yeah, for not fucking telling him !!
Except for Neil. Neil gets another kind of bitterness — quieter, darker, drowned in neverending pain.
Max gets a
"Fuck off, Maxine and shut the damn door." Said to the wall.
The gang of monster-hunters aren't even allowed to take a peek at her angry (and badass) brother.
Owens gets a
"Just leave me alone, Doc. I'm clean, and don't give a fuck about conquering the world anymore. Wasn't able to take a piss without a catheter until recently. I've got problems of a different level to deal with now."
When Steve opens the door to Billy's room, he actually gets talked to.
"Billy? .. Can I come in? .. Hey .. Hi."
Hargrove doesn't look like himself. He's too skinny, un-tanned, has some kind of a scanty beard, even longer hair, and looks like Jesus Christ.
Steve still can't believe it's happening. To come back to life after what Billy's been through? Impossible.
Maybe they put a dummy in the hospital bed.
The dummy opens its eyes, reluctantly turns its head towards Harrington, who is still hovering over the threshold, and doesn't say a word.
"How ..?" Steve's clearing his throat, cause sounds suddenly get stuck in it. "How are you .. feeling?"
The mannequin, who is probably Billy after all, blinks sadly and curls his lips
"Awesome, amigo."
Whew, damn, he's talking.
"Does .. does anything hurt?"
The guy looks at him like he's the dumbest idiot
"My ass hurts. I've been lying here for so long, I don't even know anymore if I have one or not."
Harrington wants to giggle, but that would sound extremely impolite.
He bites his lower lip.
"You look good."
Billy grins maliciously, and Steve is still shifting from foot to foot
"You're.." What's wrong with him?
"Listen, you're.."
"Get out."
"Uhm .. what?"
"You think you're so .. nice? Paying a visit to a poor sick guy? Why? To be a good fucking person? Get the fuck out of here."
"A good .. what?!" Steve tries to move closer to the bed but .. that's definitely stupid. He just feels like a ridiculous scarecrow in the field, with his ears burning
"That's not .. Hargrove. I actually .."
"Fuck you. I don't need you to come here."
"Okay, just .."
"Get lost!" Billy raises his voice
"Can I .."
"NURSE !!"
God.
"Alright! Get better!"
Asshole. Steve slams the door.
***
Three days later, he again tries to visit the boy who is definitely a nobody to him, and Billy again refuses to see him.
You know what, this is just too much ..! Silly games in the sandbox.
As if they weren't two reasonable adults. As if Steve hadn't watched Hargrove die horrifically, and as if he hadn't accompanied him to the hospital in the ambulance that night. Well, he himself was pretty beaten up, and needed a ride to the hospital, so it was kinda .. on the way, but still.
He sort of cared.
Was worried sick, to be honest.
And, listen, Steve generally doesn't take rejection well when he cares about something. Someone.
He's also sure of one thing — water wears the stone away.
So Steve shows up at the hospital again. Just to remind Billy of his existence, hang around the hallway, and when the door opens, give him a deliberately friendly smile and a wave of his hand.
Maybe he's here not to see Hargrove at all, he's got other stuff to do. Maybe he was just passing room number eight by accident.
Harrington is amused at Billy's face every time the guy catches a glimpse of Steve in his vicinity.
The patient either switches on complete indifference and sits there with a pompous ass face, as if they don't even know each other, or hisses like a pissed off cat.
Or he conspiratorially whispers something to the nurse when Harrington peers through the half-closed door — most likely asking her not to let Steve into the room under any circumstances.
But the former king didn't fall off the banana truck either. He has his own ways of influencing others — and begs nurse Miller, who seems to him more compassionate than nurse Fieldstone, to pass Hargrove a note
Dude, talk to me.
Steve turns to Max with a request — to collect some tapes from her brother's room, Metallica, Scorpions, Ratt, Mötley Crüe and his other favorite bands,
And asks Mrs. Miller to give them to the moody patient along with an expensive new Sony cassette player, which Harrington bought yesterday on Main Street.
The next day the player is waiting for Steve at the reception — Billy refused to accept the gift, but Harrington does not give in.
"Could you please put it in the drawer of the bedside table, preferably when he is asleep?"
The plan seems to have worked, at least the player is no longer returned. The guy must be climbing walls from hospital boredom.
One day Harrington gets lucky — he's going up to the second floor and bumps into Hargrove, who is being wheeled somewhere in a chair
"Oh, hi! Hello, Mrs. Miller!"
The nurse nods to him. Billy will not make a scene in front of all people, so he reluctantly grits out through his teeth
"Hi."
"How are you?"
"Great."
Steve notices Billy's cheeks turning pink, and the boy is hiding his eyes — he's obviously not very happy that they met like that, when he is in such a helpless state, for Hargrove has always been the machiest macho, hated any manifestation of weakness. And here he is — in a wheelchair.
"Where are you going?"
The guy's patience snaps loose
"Fuck off, will you?"
Well, let's not tempt the fate too hard.
"Have a nice day, Billy!" Steve is impeccably polite, unlike the frowning patient. However, was that not a whole conversation?
Harrington definitely calls it progress.
..
One wonderful autumn day, Steve decides to take an ultimate risk. He is in great mood, and he wants to share it.
Harrington swerves through the streets, listening to the radio while driving, a soft smile playing on his lips. On the way to the hospital, Harrington stops at the "Hawkins Bloom" flower shop and buys a bouquet. Whether it's chrysanthemums or dahlias, he doesn't know.
"What kind of flowers does your girlfriend prefer? Here's a beautiful autumn combination .."
"That's not for a girlfriend. It's uh .. for a friend .. he's in hospital? Something more modest, perhaps? But tasteful. Not cheap."
He feels like he's making excuses
Why the hell ..?
Jesus.
Billy definitely won't like this idea, but Steve's gonna do it anyways.
Cause he feels like it. That's valid enough.
So Steve buys the flowers and brings them to the room. He enters brazenly, without asking permission, puts them on the nightstand and moves it away from the bed — so that Billy cannot reach the bouquet and throw it at the visitor.
Oh, and let Hargrove puff, huff and even chuckle stupidly a couple of times as much as he wants — nothing escapes Steve's attentive eyes — blushing and demanding
"Take away these ugly fucking twigs! Are you out of your fucking mind, Harrington?"
Also, threatening him with physical violence
"I would so whip your ass with it, honestly."
Now that's an interesting offer, now we're talking
Harrington only winks at him, smiles
"Get well, okay?"
And rushes out of the room.
..
Like hardest ice under the persistent heat of the bright spring sun, Hargrove has no choice but to start thawing off, little by little.
One day, Steve arrives at the hospital during reception hours, pokes his head into room number eight
"So how are you? Maybe we should talk?"
Hargrove defiantly rolls his eyes and sighs as though he's so hopelessly tired
"You're such a fucking pain in the ass."
Steve shrugs.
"We are broken up anyway, even though we weren't even together for real, Harrington. Never. For the record. So don't get too carried away."
Billy keeps on grumbling
"You think you brought flowers, gifts, notes, so what? I'm not your chick, for fuck's sake!"
"Well, can we be friends?"
"Nah."
That's fine. He'll come around.
Oh, and did Steve forget to mention they did hook up before all the Mindflayer business went down? Must've slipped his mind in all the commotion.
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Here’s a bunch of 3+ year old incorrect TOH quotes from my notes app because I’m bored
News reporter: There are rumors that you recently went undercover at Hexside under the name “Caleb”. Is this true?
The Golden Guard: Pfft, TITAN no. Caleb’s just a pathetic wannabe who can’t stand his own incompetence. Like, seriously, he can’t do anything right. I feel bad for anyone who has to suffer the embarrassment of being within 20 feet of him. He’s such a loser.
Hunter, watching the clip on his scroll a few hours later: Say that to my face, you fucking tool. Stop being such a royal ass-kisser and get a real job.
The Emerald Entrails, sitting together after practice:
Willow: Are you okay?
Luz: No problemo!
Luz, internally: But it was all problemo.
Gus: What's your biggest fear?
Hunter: Being replaced.
Gus: Damn that's deep.
Gus: My new one is the Kool-Aid man but I feel kinda stupid about it now.
Hunter, lying in the woods, depressed: I'll never be a cop again. I'm gonna have to be a robber.
Lilith: You know, I really wish you’d just admit you made a mistake sometimes.
The Golden Guard, stirring his coffee: I prefer it with salt.
Willow: What are you two arguing about this time?
Hunter: He’s always using human phrases incorrectly!
Gus: Cry me a table, Hunter.
Luz: I'm very disappointed in you, Vee.
Hunter: C'mon, don't get mad at Vee!
Luz: Hunter, stop telling Vee it's okay for her to punch you! She needs to learn not to punch people!
Hunter: But I'm not a person!
Vee: Which is why I punched him!
Lilith: *Turns on the breakroom light*
The Golden Guard: *Sitting at the table, eating bread*
Lilith: It’s four in the morning.
The Golden Guard: Turn the light back off.
Hunter: The joy of hanging out with Luz. You look away for 5 seconds to make sure something is set up correctly, and she bites the tip of a marker off.
Camila: Can you come out?
Luz: Yeah gimme a minute…
Luz: Mom, I’m bi.
Camila: I know that. Come out to the car.
Luz: Okay.
Luz: Car, I’m bi.
Camila, a tired mother:
Willow: *lifting weights*
Hunter: Wow… She’s so intense!
Luz: I wonder what drives her.
Willow, internally: Oh I am going to be SO good at giving hugs.
Hunter, protecting a palistrom forest: I am Hunter, I speak for the trees. Chop them down and I snap your knees.
Luz: I wanna be a knight!
Hunter, basically a knight: What the fuck do you want this shit for? I kill people, all right? Their blood is on my hands! Every night, when I go to sleep, I see their FUCKING faces staring at me! Their families weep, and I FEEL NOTHING! I’M DEAD INSIDE!
Luz: Man, I want some of that in my life!
Luz: I want a trip down memory lane.
Vee: *proceeds to grab every warrior cats book they have and sets them in Luz’s lap*
Vee: I heard you needed these?
Luz: YES! ALL OF THEM!
Hunter: Due to personal reasons, I will be fucking sinking to the bottom of the ocean in a large metal box.
Luz: Did Willow say “I love you” and you said “Thanks”?
Hunter: THE REASONS ARE PERSONAL–
The Golden Guard, on live news: I can't imagine what the Owl Lady is planning, but I can tell you two things: we won't like it and it won't be legal.
Gus: Did you win? Or just not die?
Gus: Either way, hooray.
Hunter: ... Is "no" a valid answer?
Gus: The hooray is redacted and you frighten me.
The Golden Guard: Hey, do you know anyone who can teach me to play the trumpet?
Darius: Why?
The Golden Guard: I want to wander around playing it to annoy Lilith.
Darius: Technically, you don’t actually need to know how to play the trumpet well for that.
The Golden Guard: Darius, you have opened my eyes.
Lilith: Can we talk about that mass message you sent?
The Golden Guard: Why? It was important.
Lilith: All it says is, "I'm back on my shit".
Steve, shrugging: The people need to know.
Gus: How long do you think it’ll be until Willow finally snaps and commits murder?
Hunter: I’ve been operating under the assumption that it’s already happened at some point and it’s just that no one was ever able to trace it back to her.
Hunter: It was difficult, so you’ve just given up. You might fail, so why bother trying?
Luz: Exactly.
Luz, to Amity: I told you he’d understand.
Willow: Remember, when burying a body, make sure to cover it with endangered plants so it’s illegal to dig up!
Willow: Make sure to follow me for more gardening tips!
Hunter: There's something I have to ask about you-know-who.
Luz: Voldemort?
Hunter: No.
Luz: Is it Voldemort?
Hunter: It's not Voldemort.
Luz: You haven’t mentioned wizards once this conversation, so I’m gonna have to assume it’s Voldemort.
#Btw my toh as textposts things still get notes daily and it frightens me /lh#toh incorrect quotes#toh#the owl house#toh memes#shitpost#toh shitpost#incorrect quotes#luz noceda#Hunter toh#can’t be bothered to tag anyone else
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So apparently, the Assassination Classroom anime aired 8 fucking years ago so happy birthday AssClass 🌟
#assassination classroom#assassination classroom anime#assassination classroom 8 years#class e#class 3e#i'm feeling old for a reason I can't tell#ansatsu kyoushitsu#yusei matsui
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nnnnnnnnnnnnno maa'am
#my want to draw traditionally literally split me open for the past week and leaves me literally depressed i'm so serious i can't even look -#- @ my art programs without wanting to throw up omfg should;ve never picked up those pencils#but it's ok i just needed a nap#something so relatable about them i think nelvas has something in it for everyone meanwhile eltl is secluded art museum.#it's very possible to walk around in neloth's and talvas' brains but eltl is off limits. they will NOT! get no drawings like this outta me#wtf r they thinking ........#< eltl not nelvas#something nobody on dis earth can understand ..........#talvas wants to live he likes living but neloth's presence is so strong that it overrides and deletes his will to live.#bruuuuuuuuh#i bet the feeling of neloff is in everything he does if they ever part ways he won't be able to fold clothes or anythign without wanting -#- 2 cry . for what reason . idk bc neloth once yelled at him for folding clothes like shit .what am i on rn#(talvas thoughts mode) I want this old man to hug meeee😢😢😢#NELOFF DO IT and smash him too before i do it first .#me and neloth are the same person tho so it doesn;t matter but w/e#i'm getting emotional over them right now this cannot be real#i love her .... (Skyr1m)#i opened the game for .5 minutes today to take pics of a character uight what a beautiful game.#Te/s having such extensive lore ruins the whole entire game and the franchise but whatever . skyr1m is an art piece that's just how i feel#also this might be a very hard pill to swallow for some people but t*lvas is literally a kin Vessel for young women that keep getting -#- hit on by men twice or thrice their age when they're just trying to live their life .#this feels so profound to me i need dis shit inmy discord bio right NOEW.#Talvas................................#(eyes watering) (holding palm out)#suicide //#just in case but this tag would've gone crazy with my drawings of ulfr*c from late 2022 where i drew him with slit wrists. very artsay#is it not. i didn't like neither of those drawings tho i need to revisit cus i can feel ulfr*c on a diffaraaant level#when will i run out of tags. the way you can tell i just LUH talvas look at me drawing his hair in that second pic 😑BRU#look at me also trying to replicate pencils digitally in the first.. hmmm i don't hate it#at least it soothes me and i don't have pencil withdrawal
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perhaps it doesn't need to be that Deep, but some of y'all's relationship with age and youth truly stresses me out. you're doing this thing
like nevermind that using reaction pics/gifs in place of a text response is not something that Olds Do, if it's becoming less common on tumblr, i think that's been in the past like. 2 - 4 years. nevermind that... you truly stress me out using Thirty Five as the old and out of touch age to make a joke about. oh my god girl... 35.... please!!! you don't need to be so scared of aging!!! 35 is young! the imaginary 35 year old mom being used for this joke is a Young Woman! my first instinct is to make jokes abt how I am, in fact, geriatric (which I like to do) but I gotta break character and be like. hey you guys don't Actually think that 30 is elderly, right. we're joking when we say we're old, right?? you aren't actually internalizing that. right??????
also I spent like 5 years curating my Fotos Folder and I've got so many good ones... so I am actually probably gonna keep using them when I AM old. I love these images
#sergle.txt#genuinely I need you guys to stop that. you're stressing me out. it's not good for you to think like that#like i'm SORRY i need to send Jokes out of the room in order to tell you this is bad.#i'm just as happy to make an I'm Old joke as the next bitch... i literally feel Aged. but you can't be taking it seriously..... pls..#also this part takes a backseat to the part that really worries me but also you're just being rude lmao#fumbled the attempt to be funny in my askbox. no joke was found you were just being rude at me for no reason#bc the intended joke is 'you use reaction images like an Old Person lol'#which is just you being annoying. so like. what's that about
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Hi GT,
Forgive me if this is a stupid question, but I absolutely love the recs you've given (you've introduced me to tomione, and I love it!) and I was wondering if it's possible to give you some recs in return? There are some books and fics that definitely have dramione / got vibes, and I was wondering if I could share them with you!
So glad you've enjoyed them! Feel free to rec me anything you want. I've read most of the classic recs in terms of fic and adjacent content (Cruel Prince et al), but I'll try anything that's well-written. My tastes run towards weird and/or audaciously creative stuff, and I can forgive a lot of weaknesses in plot on the grounds of (1) ambition or (2) character work. My turnoffs are instalove, protagonists who can't fail, and most Y/A (I'm not a hater, I swear, I just need characters who can say "fuck" when their leg gets chopped off.)
I'm also a fan of weird and fucked-up dynamics.(Wuthering Heights was my favorite book for a while, and as a teenager I wrote an AU in which the book ends on a long sex scene where Heathcliff fucks Cathy's ghost and then immediately gets murdered by Catherine 2.) Obviously, I am very normal.
#greenteacup asks#my beef with Y/A is mostly expressed in a dissonance between tone and content#LOVE the content. dystopia fantasy horror sex and blood — awesome. but question. why are they all saying 'darn'?#like in the vampire diaries where they'll watch people get eaten and then 2 episodes later be like 'omg SCHOOL DANCE'#(EDIT: actually in fairness. on the vampire diaries. it was mostly just caroline that did that. unfair example my apologies)#& i distinguish this critique from a common bitch-and-moan complaint about tv shows being interested in 'girly' things#like relationships and social standing. that is not my complaint. that shit is delicious. i will chomp that shit for days#my issue is that when the stakes oscillate wildly from episode to episode and i can't tell what the main thing is#like sorry. a story with murder in it is always going to be about murder. you can't make it not about murder#unfortunately! many have tried.#and in general i have difficulty reading about teenagers bc—#(she says having written 600k words about them OKAY I KNOW. i contain multitudes.)#because they're either mini-adults (preferred flavor. jude in the cruel prince nails this) or like leetol babies to me#and unless it's something like the hunger games where the Leetol Baby thing is part of the story#i'm like. hang on. you're 12 what are you doing here#percy jackson was hard for me to re-read as an adult for this reason#which is why they're enjoyable for teenagers! because as a teenager you DO feel like an adult#and you like reading books that treat you like one! nothing wrong with that! healthy even!#only then you get past the teenage years (mashallah) and you get stuff like twilight#where of COURSE bella doesn't think twice about 117 year old man falling in love with her#because he looks like a rich mysterious 17-year-old hottie#but you reread it later and it's like um well. that. could be explored a little more maybe.#i'm not even necessarily opposed to it. candidly. still team edward. i just think the dynamic should be more fucked up and juicy.#which Y/A authors are often reluctant to do. like. COWARDS! face the nasty consequences of your narrative decisions!#anyhow. you didn't ask for any of this. please give me your recs lovely person you seem very nice.
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no promises anymoooooreeeee i'll appear online when i appear online 😭 every time i say "ooh i think life is almost done being overwhelming!" it. becomes even more overwhelming in the dumbest ways. all i can manage rn when i'm not stressing myself into a shut-down state is staring at the wall while listening to youtube essays + mindlessly crocheting.
i might queue up ppls art and fics w/o commentary in the tags... i want other ppl to see what all of my cool friends have made, but i genuinely can't think right now with this monstrous brain fog. i'm really sorry, just. yeah. maybe i'll think of some way to make it up later!!! once the dust has settled!!!! but until then i wuv u and miss u. smiles.
[venting in tags including familial manipulation and ableism. i. didn't mean to write all of that, thiss was originally going to be a main blog post but. aaaaaAAAAAA!!!!!
also no need for replies or anything, i'd turn them off for just the one post if i could kjsndkn, i just needed to get things out and go eep jsjndsfdn ok bye bye bye bye!!!!]
#goddd my family finds it sooooooo funny that i can't do basic tasks! it's soooo funny that i can't even think of a horror movie to watch#on halloween bc i genuinely can't remember a single one right now. it's soooo funny that i can't take cardboard boxes or#old furniture out of my room without help bc i've physically and mentally and emotionally burnt out for Months.#and me not being able to move shit out after two (2) days makes me a hoarder somehow. and ofc hoarding is a moral failing#and my mom has to give me a stern talking-to about hoarding things... that were. again. in my room for 2 days....#[tbc it isnt a moral failing no matter the reason. life is hard and things happen and it can be hard to get rid of things for Reasons.]#nevermind them making constant snide remarks about me using ugly 'mismatched' desk / storage furniture. bc it was free / cheap? no income??#AND!!!!! i have a couple of new diagnoses. which doesn't change much day to day but it does make my family making fun of me#even more dumbfounding. like. this explains a lot of really scary unexplained symptoms that constantly leave me#housebound for weeks but uhhh haha hehe hoho??? so silly so funny that i'm barely conscious for multiple weeks???#and you can see that i'm getting worse but that makes it funnier??? hmm!!!#also nevermind that i've told them the exact reason why i've been like this (read: them) but that ALSO makes it funnier somehow.#but i also can't say shit bc they're doing something ~nice~ for me (out of convenience + after almost a decade of 'don't get comfortable'#and 'don't decorate this room bc it isn't yours' and 'you need to be ready to move out by x date'#only for the date to arrive and them to pull the 'i never said that. and if i did say it i didn't mean it like that.#and if i did mean it like that i don't anymore.' card. + any big renovations are things they wanted anyway. hmmmm!!#and how i have to do all of the phys labor alone bc if i ask for help i get made fun of!!! and yelled at that i'm doing things Wrong#(hint: i'm following instructions to the letter but. my family knows better than those silly things!! ^^ ))#jfc i sure did rant. uh. yeah. things. are really weird and uncomfy and i feel thankful that i finally can have my own things on display#outside of closets and bins again after a decade?? but i'm also waiting for the other shoe to drop / them to tell me i owe them in#some way??? bc that's how it works. 'i'm doing a nice thing you didn't even ask me for so now you have to do whatever i tell you to.'#meanwhile i can't even maladaptive daydream my way through it bc my brain is soup right now. can't remember basic things abt#my interests bc i've been on negative battery / spoons for a couple of months straight and it's only getting worse.#OKAY TLDR i'm not in a state to do anything until everything irl gets settled. and i'm trying So Hard to get it all over with but there's#only so much i can do in a day before i completely shut down. i didn't even get into the insurance stuff i've been fighting too ughhhh.#so if i show up on here in short spurts -- hi! bye! hi!! i wuv and care u!!! hope youre well mwah mwah!!!!!!! i'll post what i can and then#disappear when i need to recharge. it is what it is. i need to try to sleep now... uh if this post disappears when i wake up.... yeah......#📌 [ my posts. ]#💭 [ my thoughts. ]#vent -
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Also @ my it takes Sharena to break free from the "Gustav was a good man/Father" Askr family unreliable narrator hivemind. That the Main Reason she can't/doesn't is because it's the One Thing that's protecting her. That's stopping her from having a catastrophic world/life fucking breakdown about it. Heavily influenced by her brother and mother's feelings about it.
There's something else, I think Sharena is specifically protecting herself from too. She was Triandra's sister, too.
#feh#IT ALWAYS COMES BACK TO TRIANDRA. FOR ME. FOR SOME REASON.#ALSO. ALSO. when it comes to 'comparing' what 'is/isn't' abuse. something logically ik you can't/shouldn't do#but like. tri/peony's father's ye olde fairytale villain levels of abuse vs gustav's abuse. which is.#so so. like. like i feel like i could meet someone and they could tell me yeah my dad was [insert every gustav trait here]#like. that's not to say the level of abuse tri/peony endured is impossible or realistic. like. it's just a rarer more horrifying case#that reads like an evil stepparent story ala cinderella.#like sliding scale/ends of a spectrum we have gustav (bad dad you can find anywhere dime a dozen)#to triandra's dad (cinderella stepmom levels of abuse but not entirely out of the realm of reality unfortunately just a rare case)#to sombron (literally actual cartoon levels of evil. which also isn't to dismiss anything but like.#he had a bunch of kids and then forced them to kill each other. and then did whatever he did to veyle. who was Lucky#she was too young to participate in the sibling battle royale to the death brawl.)#idk idk. it's like#back when i used to exist i had friends/peers who would talk about their family situations and#it was like. a frame of reference. that's horrible and outright abusive and i'm so sorry you have to go through that.#meanwhile. my own situation. i always describe it as 'stupid and complicated'.#idk idk. i just think sharena's feelings about gustav are more Loadbearing. than anything else.#and she's also like. she loves her brother so much. looks up to him and is inclined to trust/agree w whatever he says#like sharena obvs still has her own feelings/thoughts. but like. alfonse is also just so important to her.#and then there's henriette. who sharena does actively strive to be like. ect ect#idk idk. this is something other than breadcrumbs intsys gives me moldy bread cuts off the mold and tells me#it's safe to eat and that the mold was never there actually. but i remember. i remember the mold.#sharena#fe triandra
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i'm so tired of the popular autism influencers being all lsn i'm so tired of autism acceptance only being geared towards level 1s i cannot stand any of it but it's everywhere.
you're forgetting us & you're making us 'freaks' that you can forget about because we're too disabled & therefore not human to you. you act like you're the only autism experience ever as if you're even the ones who would've been institutionalized or killed for being too disabled 100 years ago. you can live independently. you can act normal in public. you weren't constantly called the r slur when you were 5 feet away because they don't view you as a person who can understand.
& you just take m/hsn experiences & start using our words for yourself "going nonverbal" "autism level up" "i'm catatonic" because you don't care enough to research & understand the community you COME FROM & god forbid you start calling yourself the r slur because "i'm autistic so i can reclaim it!" while you can't even acknowledge the existence of people with id.
acting like whatever you're doing is the end all be all & whoever doesn't fit in one of your boxes isn't really autistic they're just playing it up or they have something else going on. oh you can't take care of your basic needs? try harder. you can't? you're lazy you just want to look autistic but autism doesn't have a look :)
it's not everyone but god it feels like every single time we're even acknowledged in the 'autism community' it's a friend who's a character who we're using as a teaching moment & not a person who is also autistic & deserves to be heard. i just want to be a person & not a pity.
#level 2 autism#long post#ableism#sorry i'm pissed off. ableism is the main reason i'm not in like any communities#because i don't want to be called a stupid insane freak every 5 seconds & hear my lived experiences laughed at#i get it it's not everyone & it's fine but genuinely the only acceptance i feel most places is#the old people i meet at church with the outdated langauage who still get that autism is a DISABILITY#& they don't think i'm normal or typical or whatever but i'm a fucking person i'm just an autistic one#don't know if i should tag level 3 because that's not my experience & i don't want to speak over anyone. everyone who related is included#i'm just not smart & i can't tell what i'm supposed to say right now besides this. i need to get out of here & look at hs content!!!!!!
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For anyone annoyed by the Tumblr changes, if you're on desktop I would recommend using XKit Rewritten (and New XKit for any other odd changes you'd like to try out, including even older aspects of Tumblr). It's the older version of Rewritten but most of the extensions on it are still supported/do work). I can't guarantee they'll definitely make a fix for it/a direct fix for this particular UI change, but it's possible that they might since they usually make extensions that allow you to essentially revert changes made to the UI. Other various UI extensions (such as old ones from Tumblr's past UIs that the extensions basically just revert you to) may also help fix up your UI.
As you might expect these extensions need to be on to work/revert the appearance of the UI (so if you turn them off you'll revert to the current state of Tumblr), but while they are on you can curate your UI to look how you want it. This goes for both New XKit and XKit Rewritten. I use both and I couldn't live without them lol. You can get some big oldies of Tumblr's, like classic search on Rewritten or the Tweaks extension (full of various UI tweaks) on New XKit (including the old shade of blue Tumblr used a long time ago that I never stopped using!).
Unfortunately I don't know of any solution for mobile if it affects mobile at any point (or if it already has), but whenever you're on desktop, I would definitely recommend both these versions of XKit. I have so many extensions from them that I often don't even realize when there are UI changes (remember how Tumblr added themes for your dashboard? I didn't even notice for the longest time because I've had New XKit on the whole time) because Tumblr's default coding is overwritten by the extensions I have on.
#DCB Comments#literally like when was the last time I was bothered/affected by a big UI change#idk bc I always have XKit on lol fhjaghjfg like half the time I don't even notice there was a change#atm I can't tell if I just haven't been hit by the change yet or if all the extensions I'm using are preventing it#bc I use a LOT of old interface extensions so in a sense I'm using an older version/look to Tumblr#I also heard a techbro runs Tumblr now so don't be surprised that this site is going to#end up looking like a Twitter clone. techbros want all social media to look exactly identical#while still claiming to want to one up each other and act like they have the bigger/better company#like nah bruh y'all're the same and y'all're shit#as much as I still hope Tumblr doesn't fall into that I feel like it will unless someone else runs Tumblr soon :'(#like buddy I don't use Twitter much at all anymore for a reason. well a lot of reasons#anyway get New XKit for lots of OLDER older Tumblr stuff and Rewritten for newer stuff/updated New XKit stuff#New XKit still works fine it's just that they made a newer/more improved version of New#if you've never used XKit make sure to use NEW and REWRITTEN tho#the original XKit is probably no longer functional and I don't even know if it's still on the app stores#last I knew of it most of its extensions were so outdated that they broke a long time ago#but you can use both of the newer ones together actively and it works amazingly
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through some embarrassing twist of fate I am listening to OLD(!!!!! THIS IS CRUCIAL) imagine dragons again. they're........ pretty good. not as good as I used to think they were, but they're decent. they're fantastic compared to their current output though 😂
#I can't tell if their old songs are really kind of tinged with adolescent angst or I just feel that way because I was obsessed with them as#a young teenager. oooh I'm gonna get ready.. for the rain to pour heavy.. let it fall; fall.. let it fall upon my head!#listening to them again is making me think of scorpio boy again. for reasons I'm sure you can infer. that whole thing was so crazy#I could've been getting crazy protestant speaking in tongues pussy from him. I was so close. it's okay I walked out from that#relationship a winner and I dodged a bullet. I just think it's interesting to reflect on. perhaps I could have been free
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honestly the idea of newton and lance both ending up w gfs is funny to me only bc ik the two of them would have COMPLETELY DIFFERENT reactions the moment they realize they're in love w the girl they're now dating
basically newton's reaction vs lance's reaction
#sym bionic titan#like newton's just over here like wow love is amazing i didn't even know i could feel this way abt another person this is great ^_^#meanwhile lance over here is suffering™ bc he's basically a byronic hero trapped inside the body of a 17 yr old boy#what i'm saying is the reason newton is able to love more freely and openly than lance (atleast for rn)#is bc he doesn't have a FRACTION of the emotional baggage that lance has due to his upbringing#that boy spent years building up walls guarding his heart to keep ppl out so that he could never be hurt again#he's only now started to let ppl in like ilana and newton/octus bc they're family now but even that can still be hard for him#like sm of lance's character just goes back to this idea of the mortifying ordeal of being known (god he's so mitski's stay soft coded)#how the fear of letting ppl get close to you to love you#means that the nearness has the potential leave you wounded#or that bc you have baggage it means you're broken that prevents you being able to love others#basically what i'm saying is lance is super repressed he def has self loathing#and i CAN'T imagine him getting w kristin in the same way#newton did w kimmy in the sense that they got into a relationship relevantly fast#if anything he's gonna have a slowburn w that girl#even when lance FINALLY does get together w her#i still don't see him being like how newton is w kimmy that he's good expressing his love verbally like saying ily or petnames etc#bc we've seen in canon how lance isn't the best when it comes to that#re: consoling ilana in ep 2 or telling octus how important he is to him in ep 18 but we know he cares#i think kristin knows that and like ilana/newton accepts that abt him#lance to me is better at expressing his love and care for others thru his actions rather than his words#robi hcs#robi rambles
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Being told by adults to stop lying about something when telling the truth as a kid is one of the worst feelings ever
#it happened a few times with teachers at my primary school#i still remember the frustration and sadness i felt#because you're this little like 7 year old#and you feel powerless and embarrassed#ugh#primary school was a weird time for me#thanks catholic primary school you're one of the reasons I'm an atheist now#one time a kid lied saying i scribbled on a page of a bible#and because i was this scared and confused little kid i lied and said i did#and the teacher dragged me to the assistant headteacher's room#and ignored me when i tried to tell the truth#the assistant headteacher made me sit in the room with a rubber (eraser) and told me to remove the scribble from the page#i sat there for minutes trying to rub it away and started crying because it wouldn't disappear#she told me to just keep going#i don't remember what happened after#but i thought about it years later and realised that the scribble was probably in pen which was why ut didn't come off#so yeah maybe i do have minor religious trauma actually#i remember at one point and got sat down by some teachers and told that i should just tell the truth and not lie about being guilty#(i still don't know why i lied about that)#i can't remember if that was connected to this incident thought#but yeah that was fucking horrible i still remember how hysterical i felt when the scribble wouldn't disappear#after rubbing the paper with the eraser desperately for whst felt like ages
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