#i'm explaining because people keep asking and I deleted my last post

[sparrowlucero]

what's the strange aeons opinion you disagree with?

(just to clarify: this was a lighthearted jab, i dont really care and this explanation is just for posterity. except for the clown thing. fix that) There was a recent strange aeons video that reiterated what I see as kind of poor tumblr takes on Steven Moffat's work, specifically that he 1) only writes cheap shock value without meaningful stories to make himself look clever, 2) that his work is "for men like him, who wanted to watch strong male characters who are always right save the day and ogle at some hot women along the way", and 3) that he habitually queerbaited because he didn't know how to respond to a female fanbase (1) I talked a bit why I disagree with this here; basically, I just think it was one of those things where a subset of a fandom would interpret the work as being deliberately vindictive (Ex. "We have issues with this show, so it must be because the writer is making it bad on purpose to spite us. Only a very arrogant person would do that, so it is now reasonable to see everything in this show through the lens of that ego." etc etc), and it got to the point where the actual themes and motifs of the shows would be entirely unremarked upon or outright dismissed (and it was even a bit of a tumblr faux pas to attempt to engage with them at all) in favor of trying to dissect how and why each episode and character was bad/hostile towards the audience. Because these takes were so popular and widely accepted then, they're often treated as the most objective and nuanced take now. I could get into why I disagree further in regards to the actual content of the shows, but to put it simply, I just think he's a good writer who did some really thoughtful and thematically engaging work for reasons other than, you know, trying to make himself look smart and not wanting girls to watch doctor who. (1) (I didn't really go into this in that previous post but I think it's really weird how people treat the co showrunner, Mark Gatiss, a gay man who wrote a lot of what people attribute to Moffat as a straight man queerbaiting female fans, as a non entity in this conversation. I'm not a big fan of Gatiss but, like, I don't know, give him some agency in his own art here)

[drtanner]

You know, I think I'm starting to understand why the sharing culture on this site is such dogshit now.

As I mentioned earlier in the week, I spent several solid hours going through my art and writing tags as far back as 2012 and manually deleting everything I found, including all of my own reblogs, because I don't expect my opt out from having my blogs' data scraped to be honoured, and seeing the difference in the way people interacted with my work back then and the way they interact with it now (or the way they don't interact with it at all, more specifically) was deeply and tragically enlightening.

tl;dr, despite having had a fraction of the followers back then that I have now, as well as being an objectively better artist and writer than I used to be 10+ years ago, my work travelled further and people engaged with it more, and they also sent me asks with drabble prompts and questions about my OCs all the time, whereas none of that happens at all anymore. This place was a lot more communal back in that pre-2016 era and generally a lot more rewarding and fun.

There's been plenty of posts going around over the last few years begging people to reblog because that's how this site works, but every one of those posts always winds up lousy with people saying they just click "Like" on things because they like them but not enough to put them on their own blog, or because they don't want to clutter their blog, or because tagging things is too much effort or whatever, and I'm noticing a pattern. There's something that all of these common responses have in common:

All of these people are wholly concerned with themselves and the way their blog looks, or what their blog is supposed to be for, or some other similarly entirely self-centred point of focus.

Listen. Other people have already tried to explain to you that that's not what this place is about or what this place is for or that you can make as many sideblogs as you want if you're trying to curate something specific, and they've had little success in emparting understanding to you, so I'm going to try a different approach.

Here are ten (10) benefits of reblogging that will make this site more fun and engaging for you, personally! ( b ._.)b

You get to keep the thing for yourself, but you also get to pass it along for other people to play with, too! Best of all worlds. How often do you get to keep a thing and share it?

Look in your Activity after you reblog something you enjoy to find other people who like the same things that you do! This is a terrific way to find new people to follow.

Sometimes you'll make a comment when you reblog something and later find that an awful lot of strangers are reblogging it from you directly for some reason. This is usually because someone else later down the line made a much stupider and worse comment and those strangers are now all clicking on your reblog so that they can reblog the post without that other person's stupider and worse comment on it. I like it a lot when this happens. You can get a lot of new followers this way, too!

Even if you don't have the time or spoons to play with jpegs like dolls yourself, your reblog can put the post in front of those folks who do. Playing with jpegs like dolls is half of what makes this site function; give it a bit of time, and the jpegs will cross your dash again with new additions. As it is with anything you love, set it free, and the love will come back to you one hundredfold. 💜

Look in your Activity after reblogging some art or writing to see people going nuts in the tags. You can also go nuts in the tags if you want; everyone loves seeing this when it happens, especially the artist or writer themselves.

Commenting with your reblog is like raising your hand to share your opinion with the whole room, whereas reblogging with your comment in the tags is more like whispering to the person next to you and keeping it between yourselves. Contrary to what you might have been told by others, both are perfectly fine and good and they each have their place. You can do both on the same reblog, even! Take part in the conversation!

If you're too shy to talk, reblogging without commentary is a lot like parallel play. You're all enjoying the same thing quietly together!

When you reblog things a lot, you'll start to see the same people popping up in your Activity feed all the time. These people are your friends whether you actually talk to them or not.

Stuck for something to say? Point out something you liked about the post! It can be something small! Acknowledging things that make you happy out loud is good for your mental health and also your soul.

Reblogging also invites other people who are doing all of these things to find and follow you!

There's so much to do on here beyond checking your dash and occasionally looking at the For You tab. You can discover all kinds of people and things by making a bit of an effort and having a poke around in your Activity feed and on the blogs of people who interact with the posts you're seeing and passing along! I promise you don't need an algorithm to do this for you; the action of exploring the landscape around you on this website is fun in its own right!

Get out there and see who your neighbours are. 💜

[balrogballs]

Sorry I'm sure you've got a lot of questions about your post but please tell me how the publishers reacted to your explanation that the Elrond porn they thought you plagiarized was actually yours

OK I'm just going to answer this one and keep it pinned because I've got a good 6 people in my inbox all asking the same question and I refuse to explain this 6 times 😭😭😭

Tbh the biggest hurdle was not the "twas I that wrote the filth" bit, it was actually convincing them (they were all rather old) that I was not actually writing smut about Hugo Weaving, which if you think implies they genuinely assumed I was writing smut about the actor Hugo Weaving, whom I have never seen in anything except LotR and that one film where he flounces about in a frock, then you would be correct. May be partially my fault though because from what I remember, I replied to a reviewer with an A/N that said I really liked film Elrond but his hair sometimes made him look like a catholic schoolgirl, which they may have... misinterpreted I guess? 😭

So mainly I just had to convince them that I did not have a kink for that poor man, that the smut in question was written about two elves aka mythical creatures, that Hugo Weaving is not actually an elf, and that neither Elrond nor Lindir are real and thus cannot actually sue them.

They then asked me if there was any chance Hugo might sue them had the fics been discovered post publication, and thankfully, considering that man's entire attitude is "jesus fuck guys stop yapping about that goddamn elf he wasn't even that great" bless him, I could confidently say that he would be the last member of the LOTR cast to give a singular fuck about someone writing Tolkien smut, probably because he's put the word "elrond" on his perpetual block list.

But other than that it was all pretty normal, they just looked very surprised and obviously asked me to delete the profile but all in all iirc it went better than expected, except my poor agent, who was sitting there turning multiple colours of humiliation (sorry again V).

[noellefan101]

Offline to Online

Summary: your boyfriend is a streamer, a popular one at that. this is a fic about: how their chat find out that you are dating, how they treat you off-stream and on-stream/do they treat you differently

Warnings: swearing, mentioning of death threats and killing(Scaramouche), streamer reader(Scaramouche), slight ooc, if there is anything else then pls tell me

Characters: Xiao, Childe, Venti, Scaramouche, Aether

Note: I am trying my best ok, and I'm kinda new to Tumblr, so if it isn't to your liking then leave, please./I´m sorry if you can´t understand what I´m writing, bc neither can I/. btw this is later than I originally intended bc it got deleted when I was almost DONE, like seriously. so I have like no motivation left now, yay :(

Xiao

How Chat Found Out: You two were roommates, or that´s what his chat thought anyways. Because you two lived together that was what you told them and most believed that so you thought it was fine/Xiao is shy and lied about you two dating when they asked, and then you just lied too cus you are the best(I mean that with my whole heart).

but one day when you were out with some of your friends, and Xiao was streaming at home with Zhongli(in this story Xiao´s adoptive father) some girl suddenly came up to you and started yelling at you because apparently you took her "boyfriend" away, you and your friends got confused and just let her be after, she had yelled at you for about 2 min. a little later you called Xiao and explained what happened. and after Xiao told you that Zhongli got asked about your relationship while he was gone to get some food, and he forgot that you were keeping it a secret and even showed some photos of you kissing. when you got home/to a guilty Zhongli and Xiao trying his best to comfort him/you both forgave him and then properly announced it the next day, so you don´t have to worry about anyone finding you out. . . because they already know.

On-Stream: he is very shy so its mostly something like your beside him, in the background or sometimes sitting in his lap. he doesn´t pay that much attention to you but only because he thinks it's embarrassing and that stuff. he will also become a tomato if you kiss him on-stream, even though he will despise you for an hour or so its worth it.

Off-Stream: he becomes less shy and pays more attention to you, he also blushes more at your closeness because he doesn´t feel like he has to hold back his emotions. why? well, he´s with you the most wonderful y/n in the whole world. so yeah he behaves differently when you two are alone, and not with hundreds of people watching you.

he loves you, but he´s not always good at showing it.

Childe

How Chat Found Out: honestly I think would just tell them I they asked, but weirdly no one did. maybe it was because they didn´t want to interfere, and thought it was inappropriate. or they didn´t want any of the lovesick fans ruining your relationship. but either way, there was definitely someone else in the house, because they could sometimes hear someone talking in another room, and sometimes post and pans, I guess they just didn´t say anything about it.

but then one of his friends brought up how you were doing because you were sick the last time they talked to him. and he said you were doing better and then the chat flipped out with messages like "Who the f**k is y/n", "are you dating that y/n person", bratty fan girls raging because how dare him and so on. he then talked about you for the next 30 min, and the other person in the call almost fell asleep by how much he talked, so the chat now knows a lot about you. . . maybe a little too much.

On-Stream: he talks a lot, he always does, but now there are more topics about you when he talks all day. example: what you ate today, a pretty outfit you wore this week, some new accessories he got you today, and yadda yadda. he also has you sit on his lap or beside him in your own chair. and ofc he kisses you at least once every stream.

Off-Stream: I would say that he´s not much different, but maybe a little, for example: lets you talk more and now listens more than he talks, kisses you more and is always touching you(not in a sexual way).

he loves you more than anything and is not afraid to show it.

Venti

How Chat Found Out: honestly I think they already knew since he does "drunk" streams-streams with alcohol-and there was always someone beside him: you. you decided you would be bedside him for his safety and to make sure he doesn´t do anything too dumb. you were out of frame, so they couldn´t really see you, but Venti sometimes talked to you so they knew what you sounded like, and saw your hands once or twice. and they adored you, and by the way he talked about you and looked at you he did too. So naturally they thought that you were dating/or related by blood but he was too lovestruck when he looked at you.

but yeah one stream he maybe drank a little too much, and he maybe began talking to you while forgetting that he was live and called you some rather. . . sweet names and then passed out, so you carried him out of his room to make him sleep a bit. when you suddenly remembered that you forgot to turn off the stream and you didn´t even turn off the camera. meanwhile, the chat was freaking out because you were so freaking pretty. so you went in and turned the stream off.

On-Stream: you now sat a little closer and people could see at least half your body, you also there in more streams and not just those containing alcohol. you two didn't give that much affection but you sometimes kissed him here and there.

Off-Stream: besides being closer and kissing more often then I don´t think there are any other differences in behavior other than ofc you spend more time together and not just beside each other.

he loves you a lot and also loves to show it.

Scaramouche

How Chat Found Out: well basically he got into an argument with Childe typical of him. you were in a collab with them and playing a multi-player game when they started arguing over something/you didn´t know what bc you tried to ignore them, so you didn´t get a headache/and it got so heated you had to mute them so you and your viewers didn´t hear all their screaming and send a message to Scara to tell you when they were done. Therefore you didn´t hear Scara yell "Well at least I'm not single" (I forgot to say that here Childe is single in this part, oh well) and everybody was shocked, they thought that Childe would be the one to get a partner first. so while Scara and Childe were still arguing, the viewers started discussing who would want to date were dating him, they didn´t find anybody though.

a few days later they finally asked him instead of speculating about it, and he/with a straight face/"Oh. . . me and y/n are dating, you didn´t know?" and let's just say that chat flipped out even more because wtf you dating HIM of all people

On-Stream: he doesn´t show any affection like at all, the only thing is you forcing him to let you sit in his lap. but no kissing, sweet talk or anything like that, nope just the same grumpy Scaramouche. he got a little annoyed when you kissed him once while he played with some friends but forgave you. Oh, and you also collab more with each other.

Off-Stream: he is definitely a lot nicer, and is kinda soft for you/but only for you/. And he doesn’t look like he wants to k!ll someone all the time or sending death threats to anybody, so at least that's one thing going for ya.

he loves you, no matter if you annoy him from time to time.

Aether

How Chat Found Out: he was in a collab with a few people (Lumine, Venti, Xiao...), and Lumine wanted to annoy Aether, it´s a sibling thing. and therefore she brought up a lot of... not the best topics to talk about on stream, and she also brought up the fact that someone is living with him/you/and how that person is just sooo sweet and pretty/handsome. (because of course she´s been over and already knows that you two are dating) so she teased him by telling him about how he should totally date you, to try and get him to reveal it to the viewers. yes she could have just told them, but this was more fun for her.

he knew what she was doing but didn´t give in until Venti (actual best annoying b!tch) started to do it too, which Lumine loved Aether... not so much. so he eventually gave in and told them that, yes he was dating someone, Xiao then asked who and Lumine made him admit that it was you/the person he`s currently living with/and chat wanted ANSWERS so they asked him stuff like, who were you, where did you meet, when did you meet, how do you look, can we see this y/n, and so on. he answered the best he could while venti and Xiao were also asking questions. he eventually called you in and asked if it was ok for people to see you, and you said yes. (you cannot say no, understand) so you showed your face and you trended on teyvats twitter.

On-Stream: he definitely has you around him almost all the time, like sitting on his lap, beside him, or having you do something of your own in the background, you're properly also there if he does any cooking streams, vlogs or hangouts.

Off-Stream: he´s still has you around him, but now you´re a lot closer. that´s his way to show more love freely instead of keeping it down. because there's tons of people looking at you all the time, and sometimes he doesn´t want to share you.

he loves you very much, and wants you to be there with him at all time.

Masterlist

You are welcome to reblog and like any of my posts, but you CAN NOT translate, copy or hate on anybody for liking my posts

[pinkgy]

PB is fucking things up, but there's hope, and here's why

During the past hours i've gave different opinions about this whole mess that's going on with What in Hell is Bad, but this is my final opinion.

Please, don’t attack me for “justifying” PrettyBusy, because I’m not, I already expect bad reactions because of this post.

I decided to write this because moments ago I checked the game's Reddit page and well, i already knew that many people has been quitting the game for various reasons, like the constant bugs and the lack of new content, but within the past hours this number increased significantly and almost every player of What in Hell is Bad that has some kind of presence in social media related to the game has spoken up about this, and i'm glad this is happening. For change to happen people needs to speak up, but i think that by know, PrettyBusy already knows it. I talked about this in a reblog i did some weeks ago, but i'll say this again, PrettyBusy is a business, a small one, but a business, and they have and can keep track of many things that are going on in the game, and by now, they probably noticed that they are losing players even without having to check what's going on in different social medias, and my hypothesis is that there's some internal issue going on for them to have so many unfulfilled promises and so many things that are lacking in the game. But i don't mean to say that we should be considerate, that's something that's up to every singular person.

They know about what's going on, and if you ask me, i believe that by the end of the day we will have an update from them explaining everything, Prettybusy may be fucking up many things right now, but they are really receptive and i think many of us have noticed that with the past issues, the last one being when they deleted the mission that involved using Nightmare coins during the past Nightmare Pass when many of us started to complain about it, they had no need to fix that because it wasn't an impossible mission, really hard i must admit, but not impossible, but they still did and compensated us later. And no, i'm not excusing PrettyBusy, I’m just trying to see the positive side out of this. PrettyBusy is being greedy, not event the biggest dating games have 40$ cards, or even content that is worth that amount of money, and for a game that doesn't even have a year since it's release that is absolutely inconsiderate, my theory is that they noticed that those overly expensive cards were actually being sold by players so they thought that if they released others, the same would happen and the F2P players would just ignore it and keep playing, and they ended up making a mistake by saturating the game with paid content and neglecting those parts of the game that are actually important, the Main Story and the Organic Players. And surprisingly, this is a common mistake many companies do, but they usually end up fixing it, because at the end of the day, us, Organic Players of What in Hell is Bad are the best promotion for the game, or any game in question since this example can be used for many other situations, a singer can have the biggest billboards, the best music, the most expensive commercials, but the fans are always going to remain as the best promotion they could have EVER, and if they don't have fans, they won't be successful. And if me, a normal 19 year old college student can realize this, i'm sure a COMPANY, a BUSINESS, can definitely do it way better and quicker too. No game wants to lose players, yes, they're earning 40$ for selling those cards, but they’re losing waaaaay more by losing F2P players, and summarizing the last tho paragraphs, PrettyBusy needs us because we are money.

It makes me really sad to see many players lose interest in the game, and if any of you care, I'm not leaving, at least not for the time being, i know it sounds dumb to see the positive side of everything that's going on (Because it's definitely not positive at all) but i will keep doing it, I like the game but that doesn't mean I'm going to justify what PrettyBusy is doing, and I think that's a valid opinion.

To conclude this, I’m going to gaslight myself into thinking that PrettyBusy isn't dumb and they do know that what they're doing it's wrong, and they will search for a way to fix this as soon as possible, and if you think this is impossible, read again this post because that's the whole purpose of it. I hope I'm right, but if I'm not, then I’ll try to stay optimistic until they fuck it up again.

If you want to mail PrettyBusy complaining about this, I'm really glad you are! I'm working on a mail too, I recommend you read THIS post before you do it, and please, remain respectful.

Thank you so much for reading this long-ass post! I'll gladly accept any addition to this post or any comment, but please remain respectful, and remember, this is a personal opinion, I'm also a F2P player, and believe me when I say that I'm as mad as you are about this but I just have my own point of view of it.

[deluweil]

Oh God yes, I am so for Tommy being gone just to have people stop being stupid about Eddie. Which is a pitty because at first I was intrigued by Tommy. Now i just want it to end.

And lol at your tags. I have blocked so many people lately, too. Not even stupid takes during TK era made me block so much. Some of them really take the cake now. All this hate towards Eddie is staggering. And to have the audacity to call eddieblr toxic (and yes, I have seen that and not only buddies are being called toxic these days).

HI there,

I have to say that I was intrigued and even excited for Tommy at first too, but there were a lot of things that just ruined it along the way, amongst them the last minute joiners and Eddie haters fans who just set out to make this place unbearable.

I wouldn't have minded Tommy so much if not for all the toxicity that brought with it and the poor writing and the money for specs from Lou.

Like wth dude, didn't anyone teach you to be correct, you can't justify Tommy's behavior in S2 and pass it as teasing. It's like punching someone in the face in rage or nearly break someone's ankle for attention and call it roughhousing. (not joking, I literally had an ask with someone justifying the white man railroading the POC for attention as roughhousing. - When Buck himself said he wasn't sure it wasn't done on purpose. like wtf?)

lol I live for those tags, everyone say their real thoughts and be funny in tags, it's so much fun.

I literally bonded with that block button, I haven't blocked so many ppl since early S4 and the porn bots attack lol

Ppl need to chill, everyone is entitled to their opinions but are not entitled to force it upon others.

Ship who you want but tag properly and don't be toxic about.

A lot of ppl read X's posts and come to rant about it here, Tumblr is not X, most of the ppl here are ppl who hate X's toxicity. I have deleted my account so many years ago.

We are here to have fun, so I say ship who you want, TAG PROPERLY, and leave us the hell alone.

Eddie/Ryan haters are all blocked so thankfully I don't see those, but if after everything they still hate on Eddie for something Ryan apologized several times for, learned from it and has bettered himself to the point that Aisha posted a thankful for Ryan story once and they have so many pictures together where she hugs him like he's one of the most precious ppl to ever live, than I have to call pure racism.

And that would explain the sudden admiration to the new white man on screen to be paired with the other white man who is by chance also the fan favorite.

Don't get it twisted, I love Oliver and Oliver loves Ryan and Eddie, but one has to wonder about the audience's choice of favorite even as they call against racism and for equality and with the same breath hate on a regular poc character.

I'm hoping this bizarre season ends on a good note, because otherwise S8 may be the last season.

Keeping my fingers crossed.

[tealmaskmybeloved]

Explaining the Toxic Chain Kieran Theory (and why I loved it so much)

DISCLAIMER: You CAN like how things went in canon, or you can dislike the theory entirely. All I ask is for you guys to be respectful when discussing it. The last thing I want is people getting harassed for this.

I'm aware that this isn't going to change anyone's mind on the theory, but I figured I'd do my best to at least explain why I enjoyed it so much (as well as to find other people who like the theory because it seems like they all dipped after the epilouge dropped like seriously where are yall PLEASE /lh /j)

I will also be using other people's art and interpretations on the theory, and I will do my best to credit and link every single one I use. Any art that is not credited is due to me cannot finding the original artist, and if anyone knows who drew any non-credited art can let me know and I will update this post with credit.

This is also a long post, so get ready for a lot of rambling!

With that out of the way, let's begin!

What was the theory about?

As the name suggests, this theory was that Kieran would let his desire to get stronger than the player consume him, to where he'd become another one of Pecharunt's (called Dokutaro in the game files) retainers.

There have been some variations to this, from subtle whispers of power and some manipulation to straight-up possession.

But the one thing the theories had in common was that Kieran was influenced, manipulated, or possessed by Pecharunt/Dokutaro.

Some examples I found:

Credits:

Note: Mist_the_moth's art (the one in the top right) was deleted due to Instagram's AI scraping

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12

But a theory doesn't become a theory without some evidence, so let's dig deep into it!

The Evidence

(Some of this is debunked, but at the time it was considered)

1. The purple mist

When Kieran punches the shrine of the Loyal 3, an ominous purple mist is briefly shown around Kieran's fist.

This mist is also in the Indigo Disk promotional art

When the epilouge Mochi Mayhem released, the mist around Kieran's fist is identical to the one around Pecharunt's victims. While this was not known at the time, it is a pretty strange connection.

2. Kieran's Parallel to the Loyal 3

The Loyal 3 each wanted something.

Okidogi desired strength

Munkidori longed for cleverness

Fezandipiti wished to be beautiful

And at the time, Kieran wanted power. He wanted to be stronger than the protagonist.

At the time, people theorized that Kieran could have sought out Dokutaro for a Toxic Chain and Dokutaro would have given Kieran want he wanted in exchange for his free will.

Kieran would also fit to be the boy on the signboard along with the Loyal 3.

With Kieran tying up his hair at the end of the Teal Mask, a lot of people (myself included) thought the hairband would be a Toxic Chain like the Loyal 3 had.

3. The connection to the story of Momotaro

The story of Momotaro follows a boy born from a peach who befriends a dog, a monkey, and a pheasant to help defeat the evil Ogres in the lands.

The Loyal 3 and Dokutaro fit the peach and the 3 animal companions, and Kieran would be the boy in the story.

It made sense for the two to be connected in a way, as it fits the original story of Momotaro. The "boy born from a peach" concept would have been interesting, with Kieran accepting his true potential while under Dokutaro's influence or observation (depends on what fits more)

My personal idea was that Dokutaro is more of a mentor to Kieran, and have Kieran still keep his free will and self. But, say, after Indigo Disk, Dokutaro gets frustrated with Kieran not desiring to get stronger anymore, so it possesses him as a means of winning against the protagonist. That way, people who wanted Kieran to be himself (mostly) could have that, and those who wanted Kieran to get possessed could also have that. Both sides would be satisfied.

This would also solve the common counterargument I've heard where Kieran getting possessed takes away from his character development and ruins his arc, and while I do understand that, the idea I suggested would at allow for Kieran to be at fault for some of his choices, so that nothing everything is blamed on Dokutaro.

Why it appealed to me

While I won't be able to speak on how others viewed it, I personally saw the Toxic Chain Kieran Theory as a nice parallel to the Loyal 3, and especially to the tale of Momotaro. It would be cool, interesting, and an interesting take on the tale of Momotaro.

All these ideas on how Dokutaro would act and look, whether it be subtle whispers and temptation of power to full on mind control. Both were equally enjoyable!

The designs were great, the art was amazing, and the speculation and theorizing were genuinely fun! But I suppose that's the danger of fan theories, you get too invested in them and get disappointed by canon.

Conclusion

I do know that many people enjoy the epilouge and the Untold Story of Pecharunt. It's great that you do! Don't let my feelings with it ruin your experience.

And the same goes to those who dislike the theory, it's fine if you do!

I made this post to explain my thinking and show the evidence we had to believe it. Even with the Toxic Chain Kieran Theory being debunked, it was still fun to speculate, to think of ideas, to have a good time!

I still enjoy the theory (a completely normal amount I swear /j) and I make my own posts and art on my own spin of it.

And if you happen to also like the theory, let me know! Feel free to send me an ask or DM me! I enjoy discussing it with others, and sharing ideas! Plus I'm always open to more Toxic Chain Kieran stuff.

I love this small community of us who enjoyed the theory, even if it's only a few of us.

Thank you for reading.

[mousemannation]

Ben has literally liked transphobic posts by Vivek Ramaswamy. People like to uwu him for transphobia but he’s no better than Andrey. Just smarter for keeping it under wraps

DISCLAIMER: this is a long ass post im so sorry anon I kind of used this ask to talk about what I expect from players in general.

as i was writing that post i was like someone is definitely going to send me an anon about something problematic he did. this is no slight on u dear anon but let me explain why i still made the post.

on the most basic level, the post was hyperbolic, I think we all know this. Any sort of definitive statement like that is going to have exceptions. So my first reason to still make the post is that people will generally know to take it with a grain of salt.

The second reason is that I am not looking to sportspeople as beacons of morality. Whether our opinions align can and often does affect my support of them, but my support of them as an athlete is never a blanket support of them as a person. I don't know them and I almost certainly never will; i just like watching them hit a ball.

The third reason, and one that isn't always applicable but I'd say is extra applicable to someone like Ben is that I am willing to give them the benefit of the doubt. I'm a generally forgiving person, which has its pros and cons, but it means im naturally inclined to see the best in people. Ben is young, he's my age actually, and he lives a life that i could never hope to imagine. All these athletes do. Is that an excuse for prejudice? No, but it gives me hope that that prejudice comes from a place of ignorance not hatred.

The last three incidents of player prejudice (at least that I know of) have been Andrey, Paula and now Ben although i have not personally seen proof of this. Two counts of transphobia and one of anti-asian racism. I'm trans and asian (not Chinese, which is worth mentioning since Paula's incident was ostensibly anti-chinese, but is also an act used indiscriminately against all Asians).

Maybe I should expect more, but I'm almost always operating on the basis that a celebrity would hatecrime me, intentionally or not. I'm never really surprised when it comes out that a player did something problematic. And in these specific instances they are prejudices against groups I am a part of (or sort of adjacent to, not that white people know the difference between East Asians and South East Asians lol).

I am still mad at Andrey for his transphobic remarks against Imane because they were rash, uninformed, and very public. But I also don't think he's a terrible person. He's done a lot of things I don't agree with, but I'm not personally totally blanking him from my support, just sort of toning it down.

I was never that mad at Paula for that photo, again, maybe I should have been but to me it never came off as hateful, just ignorant. I mean i don't think she would have let the photo be taken and posted if she'd done it with intentional prejudice. I know the post got deleted but I don't know if she ever officially apologised, I wasn't keeping up, but I do think she should have. To me, that was the action of a sheltered western european white woman who wouldn't recognise intersectionality if you hit her over the head with it.

Now on to the man in question. You say he liked posts by a transphobe. Liking a post can mean many things, and it doesn't always mean unequivocal support. Liking several posts does, admittedly, get a little murkier. But my relationship with celebrities does not and can not account for their private beliefs. If a famous person is a bigot but they never mention it anywhere and there's no way for me to know what am I supposed to do? Sure, for some the absence of word or action against prejudice is bad enough (and this is a totally valid position to take) but I must refer you back to point 2. I'm simply not expecting explicit social justice from professional athletes. Am I positively jubilant when they do engage with it? Of course! But these are people so far removed from regular society. They spend every waking hour either hitting a ball or thinking about hitting a ball. I follow them to watch them hit said ball. (It also feels pertinent to mention that i only speak English and many of these players do not have english as a mother tongue. I can't expect perfect nuanced conversations this way).

So. Ben liked some transphobic posts. Could he be transphobic? Maybe. But also maybe not. Or maybe with a couple conversations he could learn to not be. I can't affect that. What I can do is find him funny and nice enough in videos, and talented at tennis. I can recognise that he is young, and deals with a lot of racism himself, which I'd hope would make him more sympathetic to people experiencing other kinds of prejudice. I can decide to continue to support him. Despite what I said in my last post about him, you do not have to.

TLDR my support for a tennis player is not unequivocal support for them as a person

[ask-the-ew-boys-who-screw-around]

IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT

MUN WEED

Ignoring the fact it's been almost 2 years since I last updated this blog, HEY EVERYBODY!!!!!

So once again I left this blog to rot and the guilt never died with it because I kept getting spam likes and new followers when I was for sure I was never gonna bring this back but damnit I think I was just mad with the Tom lore cause I wanted it better spaced out but suspense was a foreign concept and I didn't want to seem like I dropped it so I'm just gonna tell you guys what I was going to explain before I drop the nuke on this blog!!!!

(I'm gonna post the Tom Lore on it's own post so look out for that, this post was just for like updates and what i've been up to)

Don't worry I'm not like deleting the blog, I'm just gonna do a soft reboot with it since there is some actual stuff I love about this au! I rather just keep it all on the same blog instead of a new one cause one the memories and two it would be harder to build back up on it's own again so the like 600 people sitting in the followers tab will get a trip down memory lane.

If you remember my old co-creator they're not gonna be back cause we friendship broke-up and I took the blog in the divorce. I got a another good friend to do some of the art with and idk maybe I'll invite guest artists if I feel kind and whimsical and if i make more Eddsworld friends.

I'm not gonna answer any of the asks I have left in my inbox (mainly cause they relate to the Tom lore) and just wipe em and open the ask box up again for new asks! I WILL IGNORE ASKS REGARDING TO IG THE PAST TIMELINE?? Some stuff will stay the same like I don't think i'm gonna change the Tom lore all that much so like, ig it's just gonna be upfront knowledge.

Sorry I kept you guys waiting so long for updates I GOT LAZY AND BUSY AND OTHER SHOWS TOOK OVER ME IM SORRY. If you keep up with my main blog you know what I've been up to. Look out for the Tom lore should drop soon

[lucy90712]

Road to recovery- part 8

Masterlist

Part of me was hoping that the hate would slow down a bit but of course it didn't. Every time I checked any form of social media all I saw was people posting about how much they didn't like me and assuming that I'm only friends with Pablo to gain something. I thought I'd be able to handle the comments but I just can't there has been so many more than I thought there would be and people have said such hurtful things about my appearance and my character. Pablo keeps apologising and asking if I'm ok and I just keep telling him I'm fine which is a bit of a lie but I can tell he already feels bad enough I don't want to make him feel worse by telling him how I really feel. The worst part about it is that everyone seems to be drawing attention to the things I was already insecure about which hasn't helped my mental state at all.

Today though I have a chance to cheer myself up a bit as I have a big check up with my doctor to see how my recovery is progressing. I think it's going pretty good so hopefully he agrees and says something positive as that would really lift my spirits. I've been nervous about the appointment today as well which has really made the last few days even more challenging on my mental health but I'm trying to stay positive as I know wallowing in sadness and anxiety won't do me any good. 

Alonso came to pick me up a bit before my appointment; when I got in the car I expected him to tease me about everything that happened with the game this weekend but he didn't instead he asked if I was ok. I was going to lie to him too but because he's my brother he knows exactly when I'm lying so I had to tell him the truth. It was kind of nice to get all of my feelings off my chest and Alonso was really supportive and gave me some good advice. He's been through things like this before with getting hate for his performances out on track so he told me to just delete the apps off my phone for a bit that way I'm not tempted to look at what people are saying. In fact he stole my phone and did it for me as I think he knew I probably wouldn't do it myself. 

Once I had my phone back I went into the hospital on my own leaving Alonso to wait in the car for me. The wait for my appointment wasn't long at all and then I went in and was immediately taken for some new scans to see how everything was healing. After scans I was subjected to a load of tests on my range of movement, how much weight I could put on my leg and how much pain I was in. The testing was rigorous and honestly quite exhausting as it's been a long time since I've done this much movement with my knee but for the most part it felt good. After I had done everything the doctor left for a while to review it all and look at my scans which left me just staring at the wall hoping to hear good news. Just as I was daydreaming the door opened again and the doctor came back in, his expression was impossible to read which for some reason filled me with a few more nerves.

"Ok Lola things aren't progressing as we would like them too internally you aren't healing as quick as we thought you would and your movement isn't at the range we would expect it to be" he said 

"What does that mean?" I asked holding back tears 

"For now it doesn't mean too much this can happen as we can't always accurately predict how quickly people will recover but we will set another one of these appointments in a few weeks and if we aren't seeing improvement you may need a second surgery so that we can see what's going on" the doctor explained 

"Ok" was all I could manage to say 

"I know this isn't what you wanted to hear but don't let it discourage you if you keep working hard you won't need the surgery" he said 

We scheduled my next appointment and that was as long as I could hold it together. All of my emotions that I'd been holding onto for the last few days came out all at once, as soon as I left the hospital doors I burst into tears and I couldn't do anything to stop them. I made my way back to where Alonso parked but before I could get into the car Alonso had got out and wrapped me in his arms. He tried to get me to stop crying and tell him what was wrong but I just couldn't he tried everything to help me all of which had worked before but today nothing could stop me. Eventually he gave up and let me get in the car so we could go home because right now all I want is to just go home and get to grips with my emotions as I clearly have a lot to process. 

As much as my eyes were filled with tears I could tell that Alonso didn't take the turn to take me back to my place which meant he was going to take me somewhere in hopes of cheering me up. I really didn't want to go wherever it was he was planning to go but I was sobbing too much to tell him to take me home. We went a bit further before the car stopped and I looked round a bit as at first I didn't recognise where we were but then I saw Pablo's house and realised we were just down the street. I should've known Alonso was going to bring me here but this is the last place I want to be I don't want Pablo to see me like this. I knew we said we would help each other out but I know for a fact Pablo is doing better and I know he's in a better place mentally and I don't want to ruin that by projecting my problems onto him that wouldn't be fair. 

Alonso had to practically drag me out of the car and down the road which was rather easy for him as I'm not strong enough to put up too much of a fight. We walked down the street to Pablo's house where Alonso left me to ring the doorbell, part of me was hoping that he wouldn't be in even though he said he had no plans today. Of course after just a few seconds the door opened and I locked eyes with Pablo who straight away rushed over as quick as he could and wrapped me up in his arms. I wanted to stop crying but for some reason I only cried more once I was in Pablo's arms it was like he made me feel safe enough to truly let all of my feelings out. Pablo said a few words to my brother before taking me inside and allowing him to leave. 

Pablo took me to the sofa and allowed me to settle into his embrace with my head buried in his chest so he couldn't see my tear stained and probably red and puffy face. His hand was gently stroking my back trying to calm me down while he whispered comforting words in my ears. It wasn't anything special what he was doing but hearing his words and feeling his hands on me did wonders in helping calm my emotions which I didn't have any control over. As my tears began to slow down Pablo kept rubbing my back and he even wiped some of the tears from my face that he could reach as I was still hiding most of my face. I never would've thought he would be so good at comforting me I mean he's always so hyper and full of energy I never imagined that he'd be any good at keeping calm and radiating that onto others but clearly he is. Once I had completely stopped crying and my breathing was getting back to normal Pablo put a hand under my chin and got me to look at him.

"Can you tell me what's wrong I hate seeing you so upset and I want to help" he said 

"The doctor said my knee isn't healing properly and I might need another surgery if things don't get better" I said still sniffling slightly 

"I'm sorry that sounds awful but that's not the only thing on your mind is it" he probed further 

"No that's it" I lied 

"Don't lie to me please just tell me what's wrong I'll do whatever I can to help and I won't judge you you know that" he said 

Damn why doesn't he have to be able to read me like a book.

"Ok I've been getting a lot of hate since we were seen together at the game and it's been getting to me a bit I thought I could handle it as I'm used to criticism but I can't some people are just so mean" I admitted letting a few more tears fall 

"I knew it was getting to you people on social media are assholes because they don't feel the consequences of what they say but none of what they say is true" he said 

"But they keep talking about how I must be using you or how I don't deserve to even be friends with you which that part is kind of true" I rambled 

"No it's not true I can't even imagine what my life would be like without you I love spending time with you just because you aren't famous doesn't mean you don't deserve to be friends with me and despite what they say I know you aren't using me I know you would never do that" he said 

"And before you say anything all of the things they say about your appearance aren't true either you are beautiful inside and out and they are just jealous" he added 

Hearing him say that put a smile on my face. Pablo has never really complimented me before he's told me my outfit was cool a few times but he's never called me beautiful so hearing it made me feel a lot better about myself. He must've noticed that I was finally smiling again as he told me I looked pretty when I smiled which only made my cheeks heat up but luckily my face was already red from crying so Pablo probably wouldn't have noticed. Although I kind of wish he knew how he made me feel because as time goes on it's getting harder and harder to hide my true feelings from him. 

Pablo's POV

The pain in her eyes just shattered my heart. She's been my rock throughout every step of the way so far so to see her breakdown right in front of me really hurt. This whole time she's been the strong one never letting anything get to her but finally it's caught up with her and part of it's my fault because we got seen together at the game and now people are tearing her apart and one person can only handle so much. I feel so awful that I'm part of the reason she's so upset but knowing that I can be there for her and calm her down makes me feel a bit better. When she arrived she was hysterical and her brother told me he couldn't get a word out of her so he wanted me to try so that's what I did. I'm not very good at keeping myself calm at times let alone other people but I tried my best and after a while of just rubbing her back and whispering to her she calmed down. It felt good to be the one to help her because she's done so much for me that anything I can do to even remotely repay that I'll do in a heartbeat.

Hearing the way she criticised herself as well it pained me. She's the most beautiful and kind person I've ever met so to hear her say that she thought she didn't deserve to be friends with me hurt but what hurt more was to see that those horrible people got to her and made her feel insecure in herself. Throughout the time we've known each other I've always wanted to tell her just how beautiful she is but I've refrained as I know once I open the flood gates there's no going back. Once I start complimenting her I'm scared that I'll let my feelings show but today she needed it so I knew I had to take the risk. Seeing the smile that my compliments gave her made the risk feel worth it though as I'd do anything to keep her smiling 24/7.

Looking into her eyes as she smiled and blushed at my words made me feel some type of way. I've felt something for her since we first met and I've kept those feelings repressed until now but I don't know if I can do it any longer. She's just the most perfect girl I've ever met and I don't want to lose her whether that be to another guy or to the fear of what us being friends might mean for her. I have to tell her how I feel in hopes that as long as she feels the same way it gives her a reason to stick around even when things are tough like they are right now. As scary as it is I have to take the risk. 

[venelona]

Hey! Big fan of your art!

I have a question:

You’re a big shipper of frans which gets a lot of hate online from people who claim it to be “problematic” or “pedophilia” and I’m curious: How do you deal with these people?

A lot of the time these people have the intelligence of a paint can, and the personality of a rusty pipe. They come in many forms: sometimes they just follow mob mentality, sometimes they think they’re the “good guys” and are fighting against “problematic” stuff, sometimes they’re just uninformed and too stubborn to listen, and sometimes they just hate to hate. These things all mean that they can’t really be reasoned with.

So I’m curious as to how you deal with them and what the best strategy is (I’m planning on getting into ut writing, so I wanna be prepared).

(Thank you!)

Hello, thank you!

Your observations are very on point - a lot of people who send frans hate (honestly, its not even just frans issue - it can apply to any not-canon ship) are quite narrow minded, stubborn, like to play a morally superior 'hero' and do not like to listen to any reasoning

I deal with it by simply not being that person. I keep open mind and respect even ships that I dislike with all my soul, because at the end of the day this is fiction, hobby, for fun. And that's what I tell people who try and sling hate at me - you really have a problem with a person's choice of fictional character romance? Even if its problematic (when it comes to frans, as long as Frisk is an adult I do not even consider it problematic), exploring a problematic ship does not make a person awful, as long as they are and the audience is aware that it's supposed to be problematic. Like, yunno, people who write murder stories are not killers

When engaging with the hate comments (which I usually do when I receive any - when I was still in the toxic pit that is Instagram when I wasn't in the best mental space I'd just delete hateful comments, only for those people to come back and point fingers at me for it, which means they were monitoring a post they actively dislike... honestly, those kinds of people just have too much time in their life) I usually try to respectively describe my point of view, and sometimes even engage in conversation when I try to talk with them through their points in an effort to show them that there doesn't need to be hate like this, and how usually it's hypocritical in comparison to other ships, maybe world in general, or just that it's kind of a waste of time to talk about this because this is for entertainment purposes of a person you do not know but choose to hurt and can hurt

I do not owe this to those people - I probably don't even owe them politeness I try to extend, but I choose to act this way because usually those people are young, and if my words have even a slight chance to change how they choose to act and view things, it's worth it in my eyes to try. Though, I do this if I'm in a good mental space, which I usually am, but I get wore down also. If I'm too tired, I just ignore it, or leave a shorter comment

Honestly I've been very fortunate not to receive a lot of hate over the years - I was too unpopular/not worth it at first and later too big and intimidating to attack later lol I'd never want for people to attack someone on my behalf, even if they attacked me, but having friends you can vent to if something did get to you is very nice.

Most of the time people don't really change their point of view, but sometimes they do. I got a couple call out posts on twitter last months, and commenting on them and talking to people who made them made them delete them, because they were made by teens who got scared that the person they ragged on saw this, asked them why they were gossiping, and explaining how their 'heroic unmasking' posts could lead to a person receiving threats and having their mental state crumbling (I was in good enough mental space so I didn't think of it much, but I worry for those who may receive same type of treatment and handle it worse). Those teens said they won't make posts like this again, which doesn't mean they changed as people or changed their perspective, but hopefully means in the future there will be less people hated, and less people will embarrass themselves by targeting people in hopes of being a 'hero who brought awareness to this person being bad' when the person didn't do anything to deserve this

In conclusion... Do not listen to hateful comments - there's no shame in deleting them or blocking the people outright. I always leave blocking as last resort, but it's a personal choice. Sometimes for your mental health and mood it's really better just to yeet that out of your sight tho, complain to your friends and move on to have a nice day

Good luck with writing! If you start getting any ship hate you're always welcome to dm/tag me, and I'll try to help you ✨From personal experience, Tumblr doesn't have much haters though - even if you catch their attention, you can always turn off anon asks

[gerec]

have you've noticed an increase in hate comments on ao3 fics? (not the A/I bot stuff, I know ao3 sorted that out, i'm talking actual people leaving hate comments, and sometimes it's not even guest accounts). i've noticed an increase in the last few months in the x men fandom and others. more and more people commenting bad faith, outright rude comments. i mentioned it to winter_hiems and she said she'd noticed it too - worked an age on her latest and the first comment she got was a hate message. kind of wondering if it's starting to be a widespread thing because our fandoms only partially overlap

Hi Anon,

I haven't been posting very much lately so I haven't noticed an uptick in negative comments - in my experience, it sort of comes and goes over time i.e. you get a bunch all in a short period and then it all disappears again for a long time. My guess is that with the increased interest in X-Men from X-Men 97 we're getting a big influx of new or returning fans, and a small portion of them haven't read the memo on fandom etiquette. It doesn't explain what's happening with other fandoms though so I really couldn't guess :(

Personally, I don't have the energy or inclination to deal with bullshit anymore so I just delete anything that pisses me off and permanently block 'em on ao3. Seriously it never ceases to amaze me, the amount of entitlement and sheer dickishness that exists out there over something we do for love, in our free time.

So here we are again, for those of you who are genuinely new and don't know what's acceptable, and aren't just assholes:

Unless the author says 'I welcome concrit', keep your concrit to yourself. Nobody asked you and nobody wants to know how you would write this thing. Just go write it yourself if you think you can do better.

If you have nothing nice to say, back out of the fic. It costs you nothing to shut the hell up.

Authors do NOT prefer getting shitty comments to getting no comments at all. Authors are sharing their love and joy with the world and genuinely want to hear how its making their readers happy - full stop. They did not do hours of unnecessary research, agonize over plot points, edit the damn thing 20x and stay up nights coming up with ideas just so you could tell them how their fic is wrong/bad/stupid/upsets you/is what's wrong with society today etc. The problem is you. It's always you. Shut up.

Rant over!

[arkiwii]

Alright fellas I deleted all my posts about the Matter (tm) because I don't want it to be adressed anymore or having people dig up into my blog. I genuinely want my blog to be a safe and positive place, and it was starting to bring me a lot of uncomfort and unnecessary stress. Especially when I keep receiving anon asks of people assuming or making me say things I haven't said. I don't want to try to justify or explain myself more and more only to have the feeling I'm digging my grave deeper.

So, I would like to say some last things:

- I'm sincerely sorry if I said anything that was harmful. I was trying to point out that some people were trying to treat queer couples like a straight couple by using trans headcanon as a justification. It did not, and never meant that everyone who have a trans headcanon on a character is doing this, and even less that I will see everyone with these headcanons as doing it. I wish for accurate representation and respect.

- I am genuinely confused whereas I'm being in the wrong or the right. I seriously mean no harm, and sincerely believe I'm thinking the right thing. So if I said something wrong, please adress it to me, without assumption or hate. I'm willing to listen to everyone's opinion and change my views. But please, I'd rather bring this up in DMs, if I'm wrong, I don't want to say shit and fuck up publicly, I hope you understand.

- I am welcome to every trans headcanon, even if I don't share it, because I believe everyone can see a character the way they wish. It doesn't matter the reason behind, as long as it's not to fetishize the character, which is wrong. Trans people are just like any other humans, with feelings and rights. That they are characters do not mean you can treat them as objects. It will make many, myself included, insulted and uncomfortable.

In conclusion, do whatever the hell you want to do as long as it's not harmful or sharing misinformation. Don't let a random on internet (me) tell you how to live your life. I seriously couldn't care less. Life's short, be crazy, go feral, I don't know, peace and love on planet earth, just treat others equally. except transphobes, you can always punch a transphobe in the face, it's never morally wrong

[izicodes]

Anonymous ask came through | My story

I accidently deleted their ask, so I'll answer it here

Someone messaged anonymously me saying I was privileged to get the apprenticeship and that I shouldn't be sharing tips on my blog about Junior Developer roles since I’m “experienced” (I've only worked for 1 year and 5 months which my apprenticeship lasted for one year).

The anonymous person mentioned they have been studying for 6 months and still haven't found a tech job or the job they wanted. They mentioned that I shouldn't be making posts and share tips because I'm at a privalge position coming from attending an apprenticeship and I don't relate to what they're struggling with - to that I'm sorry it's been hard for you, I wouldn't wish that for anyone studying entirely on their own. please keep trying, don't give up.

But what the anonymous person doesn't know is how hard things were for me and my family for many years to even get me to where I am today.

I am privileged to be in the UK to be able attend school, privileged to get accepted into an apprenticeship after doing two exams for it but:

I come from a family who were classed as "very low income" by the government for many years and only recently we broke out of that.

I learnt HTML, CSS, JavaScript and Python on my own before the apprenticeship gave lessons on it and by then I already knew the topics.

The apprenticeship didn’t teach me Git or GitHub or how to set up VS Code or Visual Studio - I taught myself online.

I learnt SQL and C# from YouTube because the teacher was so bad at explaining things.

I only passed the two required exams for the apprenticeship after failing 3 times - which I posted about it on my blog.

I taught myself the tech I use today, the apprenticeship did was secure me a job and having a Lead Web Developer to shadow, though he had his own projects he was busy on.

When I realised the apprenticeship wasn’t going to teach me everything I needed to learn for my tech career, I joined and completed a free online night coding bootcamp from the government and studied for 16 weeks whilst having the apprenticeship and work to attend to.

All I do on my blog, my little tiny corner of the internet, is share my progress, tips through tutorials, write posts about a topic I learnt recently and share information I get from attending those career masterclasses that free for people to join in the UK. I want to help people, not to flaunt my success. I’ve failed lots of times and posted about them on here - exams, work projects and even my own personal projects.

I may not be a self-taught with no experience and suddenly got a great tech job that the anonymous messenger wanted me to, but I’m still going to share my experience and tips that might help people out their own their own coding journey (that’s why I end some of my posts with “I hope this helps someone out there”). If you’re looking for someone that is self-taught and got a successful tech job from no previous experience, I don't think I am that person for you to follow, there would be no point following my blog because I got the role through an apprenticeship - the job was not secure though as I had to pass or they would have fired me.

So, I apologise to the anonymous person who messaged me who looked at my blog and was upset with me sharing tips on coding and it seemed like I came from that specific background they wanted me to be. However, I won’t stop sharing posts, beacuse someone out there might appreciate them and if no one does, that’s 100% a-okay! My blog is also a record of my coding journey and I’m not going to stop! :D

All I do is to make my Dad proud. Through things didn't go well for him over the years, I hope that when he sees me, he's proud and felt like after everything, I was worth it.

My family consisted of a single dad with two daughters since late 2000s UK. Mother left because she didn’t want the responsibility of looking after me and my sister. My father gave up everything to solely look after us - that meant not getting a job. We were in the benefits system for years after years, only in 2021 did we end it completely, so basically two years ago. I didn’t have much growing up and I mean the bare minimum. The only games I had were The Sims 3 base game and games on my Nokia brick.

The benefits money he got, he tried to get me and my sister to a private school just for us to see what it was like, but it only lasted a year before he realised the money was not enough. Dad made me and my sister really study hard to get into an all-girls independent school - a school where you have to take exams to get in. I took those exams and got into the school in 2013. When dad saw the confirmation letter, he cried. All his hard work was paying off. That inspired him to try university out, doing computer science.

It was when I finished secondary school I got my first iPhone in 2018 from Dad as a “well done for completing your GCSEs” gift. However, I didn’t do good enough to do the subjects I wanted to go and do medicine, so I had to switch my course from Biology, Chemistry and Maths to English Language, Combined Science and Economics. I’m grateful for economics, made me understand the government and the world a bit more (and understand what the hell news was talking about most of the time)!

I was failing. Miserably. I was pressured from my school to retake the year, so my dad advised me to quit and join a community college instead. In there they let me to my 3 subjects to do Medicine at university. However, I was failing again, had health issues which lead to me having to quit school early. I never completed my A-Levels. I was stuck for months doing nothing when I decided to get a call centre job. Liked it but last for only 3 months. I was inspired to learn programming again but properly so I can get a job. I realised how hard for self-taught beginner programmers to get a job, and I knew I would be in the mix but my dad was already struggling at home and I needed money fast to help him.

I started looking for apprenticeships even if it doesn’t pay similarliy to a full time job, it’s something to help dad. I was still of age to apply to the ones I kept seeing so I applied to a bunch. No answer. I kept learning Python and JavaScript and applied more. Then one came back saying they wanted an interview. They didn’t tell me the first interview was going to be an exam?! Last an hour and a half and then they talked to me afterwards. Got another interview with them - exam. And the last was talking to one of the partners of the company.

When I told my Dad I got the apprenticeship, he cried again. I knew he felt like I was failing left right and centre and he was a little bit losing hope on me, but for everything he’s done for me and my sister, I couldn’t let him down. And guess what my Dad did when I told him I completed my apprenticeship last month? Yep, he cried.

And I thank the gods and the universe everyday for the opportunity I was given to have done an apprenticeship because I can help my family more as I do have people here and around the world who depend on me and want me to suceed, so I will take every chance and opportunity I can get.

Dad said "If you're entitled to it, grab it. Any opportunty, grab it. You never know when it'll come back to greet you again"

[wirewitchviolet]

A Teachable Moment

So I hopped into some freshly minted Discord server, maybe a month ago, and the norms of it still haven't settled into place. It's open to the public and focused on a game, so there's a bit of a mixed crowd, let's say, and prior to the incident I'm setting up the backstory for, there hasn't really been a test of their ability to moderate their damn public spaces.

Also when I say there's a mixed crowd I mean there's both a good number of trans women (because if you are making a deep game for a niche audience, we're gonna make up a shockingly high percentage of that audience every time), and a few right-wing extremists doing their best to "hide their power levels" (because if you create and promote literally any sort of social space, they WILL show up to test for whether local conditions are suitable enough to build a nest). In the early days of things they mostly kept their masks on aside from using the nazi frog as a reaction image to things (which IS something everyone should have a zero tolerance policy towards, but I feel like I need to know someone fairly well before I can explain that one), and their eyes lighting up when they see the server rules include "no politics" (a perfectly fine policy to have but you need to understand that if you post it you WILL have to constantly ban nazis who think you're using "politics" like they do- a euphemism for all the people they want dead).

Anyway, there's a few people on my radar here, but everyone's been civil enough, and it's a pretty relaxed vibe. Pretty quiet. Mostly just icebreaker talk. The most prolific poster is this one guy who saw there was a pet photo channel and just kinda sat down and made a point of posting several images a day to it, of a particularly uncommon sort of cute pet. Naturally this lead some people to ask some follow-up questions about whether these are his and how long he's had them, and this yielded the pretty damn weird in retrospect response that no, he has no pets at all, but would like one of these some day.

Now, this isn't at all the main thrust of this, and I wouldn't like, start keeping vigil for this as a sign of troublemakers, but a thing that undercover bigots do all the time as can be seen here is set up in a community and just kinda spam harmless generic platitudes and such to try and establish themselves as a known chill person. This goes double for anywhere that has a general public/trusted community members split. Never just go by "well he seems pretty chill" for giving people access to more private spaces, they can wait as long as they need, generally, as long as they don't have to improvise a normal person response to a situation where bigotry is in play.

Anyway, getting to the main event, a few days ago in this server, someone posted some cute little comic which... you know let me just find it.

Clever little subversion there. Got a polite chuckle out of the bulk of those paying attention, but seeing a nice wholesome bit of trans positivity incensed pet-poster guy, who immediately shouts "I've seen another version of that comic!" and posts a variation I am absolutely not going to share where the girl in the last panel is dead.

That is as clear cut of a do not pass go, do not collect $200, ban that piece of garbage permanently without a word and delete the post as soon as you can before anyone has to see that sort of hate directed at them offense in absolutely any community. Even moreso in this case as in the time it took a moderator to notice, this creep was going full mask off and responding to everyone's horrified reactions with grotesque anti-trans propaganda of a particularly hardcore "my other hangouts have openly posted swastikas" variety.

Here, people did delete the profoundly offensive comic, but then, to be blunt, otherwise handled this like a kindergarten teacher seeing a kid grab the blocks another kid was playing with and just nonchalantly explaining some basic manners. First off, nobody goes that hard on hate speech accidentally, and more importantly, showing a lack of willingness to dole out any real consequences for such an open act of hate has an emboldening effect. Sure enough the other sleeper agents present jumped up to try and push things farther, encouraging them to also remove the comic above, ban any mention of trans people, and jump the gun with prepared responses that don't work in context (you call everyone you don't like a nazi! Both sides are wrong! etc.).

I came pretty close to just quitting the server on response to that, but stuck it out a bit to double check if this wasn't just one particularly green mod trying to put the fire out before double checking if that's ban worthy when someone else was awake, or if I needed to explain the code-talk in the following conversation, or hell, if they just need more mods. I'm decidedly overqualified for that sort of thing.

Anyway, moderation policy handled that poorly... and to be clear, I'm not pinning that on any one person, basically everyone who ends up in a position of authority has a gut instinct to moderate as laxly as possible and needs some real training, reading, or tragic experience to learn how vital a firm swift hand is if you don't want people like this to show up and drive everyone else away. Especially not going to put this on the one green volunteer awake at 4 AM or whatever.

Still, the ball was dropped here, and I was pleasantly surprised to see how the rest of the community stepped up to hold their ground. Over the next couple of days, people just started casually dropping every cute trans positive thing they had handy in there, agreeing with each other that it was all nice and sweet. This both reestablished that chat as a relatively safe place to exist with a kind general vibe, and really got under the skin of these mask off nazis who started throwing tantrums. Apparently they just started privately messaging the mods to flag every single wholesome little image or comic as offensive to the point where people higher up the food chain came in, did some more serious reprimanding, and added an explicit policy against transphobia to their TOS... and threatened to ban these people if they pull this crap again.

Now, that increased firmness plus the community in general making it pretty damn clear they don't tolerate hate does seem to have scared the bigots into hiding (the one guy made this pathetic desperate effort to retake power by threatening to stop posting the animal pictures... that he's just pulling out of an image search, it was pretty funny), but... they're still there. The people they were threatening both broadly and as specific individuals still have to be careful not to share anything these scumbags can screencap and weaponize against them, and I'm sure at some time in the future when it's clear there's no mods awake they're going to pipe back up to do as much damage as they can in a blaze of glory if spying on all the queer people doesn't pay out for them, so while it is nice to see how just actively rejecting this sort of ideology can at least temporarily shut this crap down even without people in authority taking real action, I want to reiterate what responsibilities those in authority are neglecting here.

As a moderator of literally any sort of space, your basic duties are to keep things safe and to keep things civil. Those are two separate duties. Don't ever try and merge them together, and don't ever forget that safety must always take priority over civility.

If you see a situation where people are just getting randomly heated and angry over something inconsequential (happens a lot), yes, by all means, try to just deescalate things by stepping through just taking a stern tone, formal warnings, timeouts, 3 strike rules, temporary bans, etc. These are situations where we can hope that people who otherwise get along just let their emotions get out of hand and will hopefully shake hands and make up after having some time to cool off.

If on the other hand you see a situation where someone is threatening/antagonizing/intimidating someone else, especially in a case like this where the reason is transparently that the offender is a bigot who genuinely wishes harm or death on the target, there are no steps to escalate through. You remove the dangerous person from the community immediately, no exceptions, no warnings, no escalating response scale. That nazi posting crap about trans women in nooses, Jews in ovens, black people holding spears, women being raped etc. is not a friend having a rough day. There can be no reconcilliation no matter how much time you give. You just have a predator here to whittle your community down, and a vulnerable person who needs you to reassure them that they are safe in your community. The only option that should be on the table is the permanent zero appeals ban, and you should have no hesitation in deploying it.

Oh and here's the part where I remember that I am going to lose my home by the end of the year if I don't ask people to throw more money at me (this is a link). I hate doing this, but my other options for income went up in flames so completely I don't even know how to start to rebuild.

[fire-water-grass-core]

OOC

tl:dr i'm placing all my blogs on indefinite hiatus, i'll be putting that in my pinned posts as well.

Well. I made the decision. it's been coming for a while tbh, i've taken a lot of breaks in the last few months, and if i'm honest i never really wanted to stop these breaks. I'm not having fun roleplaying here anymore. It's an ugly truth, but its a truth.

I don't want to blame anyone but myself, please don't get this wrong. But i want to explain myself and i want to be honest. And also, i'm very sorry about incoherent rambling, i can't really help it right now.

I feel like i had no involvement in this community anymore. Which is... objectively false, but that doesn't help me feel better. All the people that made me join rotomblr either left themselves or they evolved so much and so fast that i can't keep up. There are new people as well, and there are many that i like a lot, but in the end, rotomblr is changing way too fast for me to keep up and it simply kills all my joy and motivation. (again, i don't blame anyone here. I want you to have fun. It's just sad that i can't be part of the fun)

I have tried a lot to bring my motivation back to rotomblr by making A LOT of blogs, some have been very well received, some are not getting any attention. And again, i understand that. I don't want anyone to force themself to be into something they're not. And i understand much much better that i can't just expect a blog i created 5 minutes ago to get asks and followers in the hundreds. But this is, in the end, another reason for me to feel left out.

I also tried to plan an event, i tried making a story and none of it really went anywhere. I don't know how you do it. I don't know how you can go and plan something like this, and how you work together with people like this, and i just can't keep it up anymore. It's gotten so bad that i actually fear opening the app on my phone. I don't read my favourite blogs anymore. And since i realized that, i also realized i need to make a change.

In addition, there is also real life, and other hobbies, and all of it is draining the limited time i have as well as my mental capacity and lately have been getting REALLY depressed. Not specifically because of rotomblr, but i think it's been a part of it.

So. I have made the decision to put all of my blogs on hiatus. I don't want to delete them, because i had it often that i just gave up on a hobby or a game or a book and came back to it after a long time. And honestly, i like a lot of the characters. They are very dear to me, and most of them only live through tumblr, and i don't want to lose them. But i don't have concrete plans to come back anytime soon.

On the other hand, i won't leave the few discord servers i'm in, mostly because i still really like the community and i consider quite a few of you people good friends by now.

PS: I am so incredibly upset with myself it's unbelievable. When i made the blog and started having really a lot of fun, i said to myself that i want to keep this hobby up for one year. That was my goal. And i failed. FUCK. On the other hand i have been ignoring rotomblr for a bit already and it's been kinda freeing. so... yeah... meh.