#i'm doing these prompts so out of order btw just ignore that

[oh-phoenixx]

"Discuss" - Jegulus microfic @into-the-jeggyverse - 415 words

-

Regulus was not one to broadcast his insecurities. He liked to keep them all to himself, as if saying any of it would make it too real. Instead of communicating his insecurities with James, talking about his worries, he would drop them casually in conversation and then refuse to discuss it any further. 

Such as: “Well, we’ll probably break up once you leave Hogwarts and I’m still here.”

This one, however, James did not inquire about. At first, he didn’t recognise it as a fear of Regulus’s. He had assumed that Regulus was planning to dump James the second he started his seventh year. And if that was the case, James didn’t want to know. He was happy to have the rest of his last year and then, hopefully, all of that summer with his boyfriend. Even if said boyfriend was ready to leave him the second they were apart. James would take whatever Regulus was prepared to give, and if that was less than a year of a relationship, then James would have to deal with it. 

It wasn’t until two weeks later, when they were lying in bed, not two bodies but a tangle of limbs and a lot of tired, murmured words of adoration, that it came up at all. 

“I wish we could have this forever,” Regulus mumbled into James’s jaw.

“Why can’t we?” James frowned, so close to sleep and so unprepared to talk about losing the love of his life.

“You’re going to break up with me before my seventh year starts,” his boyfriend said, so matter-of-factly that only James would be able to hear the underlying sadness in his tone. 

Ignoring the way his body protested in its exhaustion, James forced himself to turn in Regulus’s arms, pulling back enough to look down at the boy, whose eyes were barely open and whose lips were downturned very slightly. 

“I’m not going to break up with you, love.” James squeezed Regulus’s waist gently as he spoke, wanting his attention.

When Regulus only hummed in response, not entirely convinced, James moved his hands to cup his face. “Reg. Look at me. I’m not going to break up with you.”

And though it was Regulus who was being consoled, James felt as though his own body was much lighter than it had been at any point over the last few weeks.

Maybe they both had trouble voicing their worries. They would work on it. They had time. Neither was going anywhere.

[imababblekat]

Accidental Eavesdropping?

Anon request, "Hey!!! Love your blog and your writing style, it’s amazing and so detailed!!! Can I request Bayverse TMNT Spider-man Au, where the turtles and spider-y/n are in a battle with Bepop and rocksteady. And in the last moments of the battle, spider -y/n saves the turtles but gets unmasked in the process. (They live) If you don’t want to do that idea! You can either delete this OR A moment where the turtles start talking about y/n and they don’t even realize that they’re talking TO THEM!!! This was funny to me for some reason lol 😂"

A/N: Aw thank you, anon! ;v; I went with the second prompt, btw. Leans towards Raphael x reader, but it's mentioned/hinted that the other turts also got the feels for reader. Any who's, I hope you enjoy! <3

◌(s,p) = spider persona◌

~xXx~

You're swinging over traffic, indulging in a rather quiet night despite the sounds of honking vehicles and other night life, when a sudden warm fuzzy feeling beams from the top of your head to the tips of your toes. It's not your spidey sense per say, but something akin to it, all you know is that it's a good sense and you follow it with glee. It doesn't take long before the feeling is buzzing and you see the source of the feeling chilling atop a pizza parlor. Well, more like sources. You let out a small giggle, noticing that the four ninja turtle brothers seem to be in some sort of deep conversation or debate.

"Hey guy's, what's going on?!", you greeted, swinging in next to a steaming Raphael.

"Oh you know, just the daily sibling teasing while we wait for our pizza to be made.", Donnie shrugged, watching as you and Mikey did your secret handshake.

"Yeah? Let me guess. . ."

The eyes of your mask squinted as you pretended to skeptically look at all brothers before looking at the glaring gaze of Raphael next to you.

"Is Raphie suppressing his emotions again?", you chaffed.

Said turtle rolled his eyes, shifting his weight to one side as he growled.

"Great, just what I need. And don't call me that."

"Come on, I'm sure I can help! What's up this time big guy?"

Leo chuckled, gaining your attention while Raphael sent him a warning glare from behind you.

"Raph's got a crush on our friend."

At this your eyes widened, a small gasp escaping you as you looked between the two eldest brothers in excitement.

"No way! Who?!"

You're question went ignored as Raph threw his arms up, cheeks flushing a light hue of embarrassment.

"All I said was they smelled nice, and y'all chuckle heads suddenly think I've been struck by cupid or some mushy crap!"

"You complimented them, Raph.", came Leo's retort.

"I compliment people all the time!"

Everyone remained silent, giving the hot headed turtle deadpanned expressions.

"What? I do. Right (s,p)?", he asked turning to look down at you.

You merely shrugged.

"Sarcastically maybe."

Raph huffed, leaning back against the buildings ledge, you hoping up to sit next to him.

"So is anyone gonna tell me who this mysterious person is or nah? Come on people, I want the tea."

Mikey, idly spinning his nun-chucks, grinned widely.

"It's our friend, (y,n)!"

You sat rigid, mask eyes wide once more.

". . .Who now?"

"Oh you haven't met them.", Donnie waved off, checking his turtle made watch to see the remaining wait time on their order.

Raphael clicked his tongue, still slightly aggravated about his brothers earlier teasing. Meanwhile, you still sat frozen beside him, staring into the abyss with a racing heart.

"I still don't have a crush on them.", he muttered.

"You complimented them on their perfume!", Leo loudly pointed out once more.

"Why is that so weird?!"

The two started to banter once more, Mikey enjoying the show while Donnie threw in a few matter of facts to weigh in on Leo's side. You, however, felt never more thankful than in that moment that you wore a full face mask. If it wasn't for the coverage, surely the ninja brothers would see just how closely the color of your face matched Raphaels mask right now.

Raphael growled, fed up with his brothers ganging up on him and his definitely non-existent crush on you. If they were going to call him out, then he would do the same to them.

"Maybe you guys should get off my shell and jump on yours first! I ain't the only one whose been makin' googly eyes at (y,n)."

You just about fell off the side of the building, hands gripping the edge of where you sat, knuckles definitely white beneath your suit. What is happening right now, is all you could terrifyingly but blushingly think.

Leonardo and Donatello were quick to look anywhere but at Raph, trying their hardest to not blush themselves at their brother's call out.

"I seen the way you put on the macho charm, Leo, bowing extra deep and all your swooning romance book crap when they come over. And you, Donnie, sputtering and dropping shit when they try to help you with projects and their hand accidentally brushes against yours. And Mikey. . ."

All eyes focused in on the youngest of the bunch who sat ready and waiting to hear Raph's jest.

"Actually, Mikey you're not that surprising. You think anyone who gives you food is a gift from heaven."

"Hey, it's not my fault their cinnamon rolls are so good!.", Mikey pouted, bottom lip jutting out adorably.

Leonardo shook his head, pinching the bridge of his nose before turning towards you.

"What do you think, (s,p)? Are we over analyzing or are we right?"

The boys eagerly waited for your answer, for your input. Surely someone from the outside would be able to better determine the situation the brothers found themselves in. Well. . .should have been able to more like, as the response you gave was not what they were expecting.

A rushed, "Igotgo!!!", was all they got before watching you thwip away at the speed of light, leaving the turtles to look at each other confused and quizzically.

". . .Wait, so you guys don't have a crush on (y,n) too??", Mikey questioned with furrowed brows, innocently confused by how they could not.

Raphael groaned loudly as he and his brothers devilled into another childish debate on why they totally didn't have feelings for you, a familiar smell that had sparked the argument coincidentally wafting lightly into their senses upon the wind in the direction of which you swung off.

~xXx~

[carniekisses]

Here's a long post that I really hope Tumblr will not flag as NSFW (please don't flag this), I remember back when I showed off the needlefelt Gomer sculpture I had made, someone asked if I had like a work process to show off for it. And I did not, because I had kept it all confined to a private account. I thought it'd be fun to have something to show for it for this one.

So I've been wanting to make a BJD for at least the past 15 years, back when I was a kid with no money to buy supplies with and also with a worry for symmetry, and also also I wasn't very skilled. It's 2024, and I vaguely know how to use Blender now

I've started this project on April 6th, as I've been documenting this on the above mentioned private account.

Of said model I (much) later ended up only being able to salvage the physical sculpts of the chest and torso parts as I messed up somewhat badly, see down below. I also ended up dropping the 'magnets in hands & feet' concept as it was just redundant, one can simply unhook them off the elastic if they are to swap them out.

At any rate, I 3D printed it all and got to sanding, and painting.

So far so good I guess, really not a fan of how the knee and elbow bean slots were just holes (I fixed that later don't worry)

So This was Not looking good lmao. I used acrylic paint, which was not necessarily the problem, the problem was that I'd applied it with a sponge brush which caused the surface to feel really sandpapery once dry. So don't do that I suppose, bad idea

On top of this, I realized that given the thickness of this doll I absolutely needed double joints in the legs, in order to have decent articulation. You can see in the above pics I *had* sculpted those, but I later fused the knee beans with the shins with apoxy resin, for some reason? I think it was because as I posed the legs the knee beans kept falling *into* the hollowed out shins/thighs, and I got tired of it.

The final blows for this model were me applying some 3D finish resin in a last ditch effort to smooth out the horrible texture, which rendered the pieces extremely shiny and smooth (disgusting), WHICH then prompted me to apply matte varnish to fix that bullshit. It absolutely did not work lmfao, and I have no pictures of that disaster because I became pretty discouraged about having to go back to like square two or three.

Some time passed (months really because I kept getting distracted for many a reason [sanding is so fucking boring, Blender was a mistake, I was feeling overwhelmed, I was too sad/tired to work that day, etc.]), I buckled down and finally retooled the pieces that needed it: everything But the chest and torso parts, off of which I managed to sand the varnish and smooth resin. I had fixed all the double joints too to actually be decently functional this time. The head was completely resculpted to better reflect the character's latest design iteration.

bean slots: Fixed

So after sanding (which was the part I was dreading the entire time, because it's so tedious and also it hurts after a while), I caved and got myself an airbrush to, hopefully, lay paint down good this time.

Very glad I did because the difference is kinda crazy. Please ignore my dirty ass desk, it's what happens when you craft. These pictures are from last week btw.

The blue base and the blush were airsprayed, the finer details like the dark shading and the pinker parts were done with both chalk and just acrylic paint. I miiight remake the eyeballs, or at least add more of a smooth finish. The shine to them is really nice

Here's she with lashes, wearing a shitty little scrap of fabric I cut in 10 minutes for fun (please DON'T flag th), and posing to test out the double joints too, they definitely could be better but they work Fine and I'm okay with that.

As of today I'm waiting for the fibres to deliver, for the wig, I already have the cap done. I guess I can update this when it happens, thanks for reading so far, I hope it was interesting, see you next time.......

[isa-ghost]

happy early borth use me as a vessel to infodump about your qphil headcanons immediately that’s an order >:D

This too-broad I Just Wanna Hear You Be Abnormal About Your Guy prompting thing is gonna become an inside joke between us I s2g

I think rather than hcs I'm gonna go on a rant about this sTUPID MOTHERFUCKERS WACK ASS BRAIN. YOU ARE YOUR OWN BIGGEST EMOTIONAL DETRIMENT, YKNOW THAT qPHILLIP MINECRAFT? GOD.

This entire thing applies to AMFMN Phil btw

That son of a bitch is such a MESS. He's so deep in his own bullshit he doesn't even see the times he contradicts himself or acts like a hypocrite.

He has to care for everyone (he feels obligated to as the Usually Oldest And Wisest + being constantly put into the paternal/caretaker role) but god forbid anyone takes care of him, even when he needs it most. When people take care of him he feels like he's failed somehow and he gets this not-quite ashamed or embarrassed feeling, but still Distinctly Uncomfortable And Awkward nonetheless.

He's like thousands of years old and has had more life experience to handle stress 100x heavier than "just a scratch" or "feeling a bit sad." He's spent decades just fucking around risking his life in hardcore mode, which puts near-constant strain on a person. Which has definitely warped his perception of what's too much for himself. He has a HUGE problem with being too critical of when something is or isn't Enough to be "worth" letting himself be upset or down for the count for a while. (In AMFMN he's going to be told straight up he Should Have Literally Died with how bad of shape he'll be in and that's the only reason besides his body being in literal physical shambles that he's going to remain bedridden during the recovery arc).

It's so foreign to him between his habitual isolation (hc life), rarely actually being taken down long-term by any threat, and his own evasion of being the one depending on someone that he just. He doesn't know what to do here. It's like putting socks on a dog and watching them try to walk all weird, he's like What The FUCK Is This?? How Do I Navigate This Situation?? He hates it.

Also survivalist brain hates feeling vulnerable in any way in general obviously, so that's another factor. But FUCK MAN sometimes you NEED to, it's HEALTHY even!! You dumb ass motherfucker!! Like yeah he'll cry, but not in like a Go To His Room And Let Himself Break A Little way, in a "these extremely stressful circumstances are actively happening/ongoing and it's overwhelming me so badly that I couldn't hold this back if I tried" way. Case in point: Ender King's initial arrival and how the kids couldn't see anything, or his actual possession and telling Tallulah to flee.

Alternatively if something involves not him but his loved ones, THEN he'll cry. Assuming it's not something he can do anything about (bc then his default reaction is Pissed The Fuck Off and preparing to throw infinite hands). Case in point: the goodbye letters pre-Purgatory.

But generally speaking this idiot is SO BAD at emotional self-care and letting himself be the one looked after for a change, it feeds into a lot of his other flaws (ie: being strong all the time & how he pushes that on Chay). But like. It's not just done out of refusal due to stubbornness.

It's fucking tragic, honestly. He's spent So Long being this way, he just straight up genuinely doesn't know How to be in the reversed role. Like even if he Wanted to be, it's so beyond his comprehension now that he doesn't think he Can. And a shred of why he continues not to just Start is bc he knows deep down that there is SO MUCH shit he's bottled up and buried or ignored over time, esp ever since The Nightmare, that if he let himself stop being a brick wall he'd crumble for so long he doesn't know what he'd be like once he recovered, or if he would even bounce back properly. And he does NOT like the idea of being irreversibly fucked up by properly digesting the trauma and grief and stress he's been through over the last year.

He'd rather truck on and "keep it together for the kids." :)

[aroceu]

some thoughts on leaving a social media website...again

as of 10/16/2024, twitter has announced its intention to implement a new feature into the platform: instead of blocking allowing you to block certain accounts from viewing your profile if it's public, it now just... doesn't do that anymore. it only limits interaction. though this certainly isn't a surprise with musk's twitter rollouts since 2021—when i first saw people start to trickle out—this, in particular, breaks a lot of users boundaries and has prompted many to private their accounts and move to bluesky.

i'm in support of this, btw—the ceo of bsky is strongly opposed to ever running any sort of ads on the site ("won't enshittify the network with ads"), doesn't use any blockchain technology, and has a culture where supplying alt text on images is the norm. your main timeline is in reverse-chronological order (like intended), but there are other separate options to create a custom algorithmic feed for certain types of content, only if you wish to. though bsky is a work in progress, i have high hopes for what it can be in the future: that is, usable, practical, and more reminiscent of what it was like when twitter first started, than how twitter currently is.

but despite my love for bluesky, i won't spend too much time glazing yet another microblogging platform. instead, i'm here to ponder the concept of social media: why we have it, why we use it, and why these moves happen in the first place. people have been trickling in and out of twitter ever since the richest and evilest man in the world took possession of it; especially in a fandom sense, there's been a back and forth between twitter and tumblr due to tumblr's former porn ban, as well. we all have principles and morals that guide the decisions we make, including what websites we decide to use. they speak to a pattern of not only our culture as people at any given time—but how these platforms have the power to implement these changes whenever they want. and we, as individuals, must make decisions both based on those principles, but also our desires to fit in.

i'll start off by saying this—eventually i'm going to start talking about what social media means for creatives. but there is in fact an extremely well-written article about this already that goes into more detail. if you're more interested in that, let me direct you there first: R U AN ARTIST ON SOCIAL MEDIA??? by omoulo

with that out of the way, let's talk about me, shall we?

i got onto the internet through geocities—crazy sentence to say now after all these years. of course, i played neopets and flash games like many other kids, but that was mostly through knowing those websites and urls existed, and preserving them in my mind so i could return to them for some mindless minutes of entertainment later. geocities was my first introduction to the creative, user-designed web, so to speak. instead of being a number to interact with a thing that someone else has made—a flash game, a youtube video, a website where you can collect fictional pets—the idea of geocities to me at the time was this idea of participating on the internet. being a part of it. writing whatever i wanted and posting it. sharing the link with others. having others find it and read it too—a part of me, my method of creative self-expression, whatever i desired to write and post on the less than permanent internet.

my best friend at the time was the one who needled me into creating accounts—first an email address, then an AIM, then a myspace, then an IMVU, so on and so forth. i wasn't going out looking for these, and though i'd heard of them before or seen ads of some of these sites, i wasn't interested in actually being on these platforms and making these accounts until my friend told me that i should. call me a people pleaser or easily influenced or whatever; i was 12. but it was through this link sharing, this naivety and ignorance of the vastness of the internet, that allowed me to be fascinated with the world wide web in the first place.

i usually cite quizilla as my first "fandom" website, because it was—but it wasn't because i found it by accident. it wasn't that i googled it or looked for a personality test and stumbled upon it. no, it's because i was chatting with a friend on AIM, and she had found some crazy chain letter story and shared it to me for how absurd it was, and sent me the link. it was on quizilla.

literally the moment i clicked that link changed my life forever. even though i read the crazy story, i also clicked on the username of the person who posted it, out of curiosity. that person had jonas brothers fanfics on their quizilla profile, of all things, which led me into an obsession with the jonas brothers in the 2 years that followed. through that link—that account—that platform—i got a lot more interested in writing, webdesign, and what it meant to be on the internet, not just as a numbered participant, but also as someone with an imagination, who finds fulfillment in creative expression. i wrote the longest thing i'd ever written in that time (30k of a self-insert, but we won't go into that), began to experiment with css and website design, and participated, sharing stuff that i thought was interesting or fun, worth 5 minutes of anyone's time.

the internet wasn't just about being a place where my presence didn't matter anymore—it became a medium of self-expression. more than that, it became a place where i could meet and socialize with people, especially as i developed avpd in my high school years.

the internet wasn't always like this. right now, when we talk about the internet, we don't talk about the random websites we find, the links we stumble upon. (i have an entire website dedicated to those for me, though.) the games we spend hours playing, by ourselves, without interacting with others. random personality tests, or just simply the news. we talk about google, but in the same way we talk about facebook, or even twitter. it's a verb; it's omnipresent; it exists within the context of our internet culture, but becomes meaningless outside of it. it's not to say it doesn't have meaning—but that the language we use represents our relationship with it, this assumed normalcy. this assumed dependence.

i bring up my own history because as young as i feel compared to many of my older internet friends, and how late to the game i always felt—i was there. i was there on the internet before twitter (since 2009), tumblr (since 2010), facebook (i lied about my age), bluesky now, and whatever will come in the future. i was there when people were saying that the internet was still being written; when websites were made with tables (eugh); when email was the primary way to connect with others, because irc was for nerds and nothing else had been invented yet.

i'm a big advocate for not looking at the past with rose colored glasses and getting caught up in nostalgia and greener grass. i believe that technology is not inherently harmful or bad—it creates more options for accessibility, especially for those who are disabled. and even outside of that, it allows us to learn about more people, communicate with others with a few keystrokes, and form relationships that we otherwise would never get to have. i don't want this to seem like i'm saying "man remember how good the internet used to be?" because i'm not—i believe that as things change, there are benefits as much as there are hindrances.

of course, it bears saying that the primary hindrance—of current twitter, of many platforms over the years, and the internet with increasing recency—is corporations. big money interests. capitalism.

it's why we get so tired of ads—it's why ads exist in the first place. it's why these social media platforms that used to feel like they were made by the same people who would use them (livejournal, youtube, twitter) have suddenly become these soulless impersonal websites. it becomes more obvious that they want you to use them more because they sell you on exclusivity and visual minimalism, rather than because that's where your friends are, and you have this unique way to express yourself.

in fact, i'll say this: the first time i learned about facebook when i was too young to use it, i was not impressed. i had a myspace at the time that i had dolled up to make pretty with sparkly gifs and obnoxious colors and weird fonts. when i saw how boring and samey everyone's facebook profile page was, i was like, what's the point? sure i could talk to my classmates and random other people in my life that i didn't really care about, but what about making myself different from others? what about my creative expression? what about having an account that makes me look unique, instead of blending in with everyone else?

and so here i am nearly two decades later pondering about the use of social media, our individuality as well as our collective interests, and how the internet has changed so much, both in itself and how it affects us, in that time.

i'm here because i want to talk to my friends and meet new people with common interests and get excited about them. i don't want to feel left out, but that's a normal experience—outside of fomo, it is in our core to connect with others. it's the whole meaning of everything. it's why i even made an email in the first place, in my basement with my best friend, secretly setting up a yahoo account because she wanted another way to talk to me, and i wanted another way to talk to her. it's why people have been leaving twitter little by little for another site—the same site as many others, because that's where all their friends are. whether it's bsky or mastodon or misskey or just back here on tumblr, we're here not just because of our desire for community, but even as simple as our desire for a bond, a relationship with another human being. to me, that is how "social media" is defined—a medium through which we socialize because of this innate desire.

and yet, of course the enshittification and corporatification makes this more difficult for us, in ways more than one. because the fact is that as we (as people) became better at using the internet, finished writing it, and understood it—psychologically and sociologically—so did the corporations. or advertisers, you take your pick. we, the everypeople who use the internet as means to fulfill our social and other self-indulgent desires, are not the only people here. as with many things else in the world, the internet turned from an unpredictable but fun mess of us figuring shit out as we went along, into a product designed to keep us using it and engaging with it more, so some rich people can put even more money into their pockets. it's why twitter is the way it is now; even why tumblr is the way it is. why social media has become about "content creation" and "small businesses." why it feels like, every day, we see more ads and AI generated bullshit, as a little bit of the original soul of the internet gets sucked away day by day.

but even there, i don't want to come across as cynical or world-weary. though i believe this to be true, i don't think it says anything about our lack of agency, or our lack of innate humanity. instead, i believe that this means, at least on the individual level, that we should think more about not only what we're doing on the internet, but why we're doing it. how we're doing it. are we here because we're addicted? or is there something we're getting out of it? sure, many websites now have more addictive UI and algorithms that tell the receptors of our brain to return to them because we were getting so much dopamine from them earlier. but i also wouldn't necessarily argue that the only solution to this is to, then, go offline.

i have many friends who've elected to depart social media but stay online—friends who i met through website building, to be fair, but that's one of my main points. i already wrote a manifesto on my love letter to the personal website; but the tl;dr is this:

the internet is not evil, it is not good, it is just a form. if we desire to express ourselves and socialize with others in this space, it does not have to be just about social media, and creating a new account on a new website every time people move. instead, we have personhood—we have individuality, we have agency. we have the ability to build our own websites, no matter how shitty or times new roman comic sansy or color clashy or sometimes inaccessible they can be. regardless of all these seeming impractical setbacks though, it does not absolve us of that ability to do whatever we want on the internet. and it also bears saying that websites, both the personal and impersonal, can change over time, for better or worse.

i am a huge proponent for people making their own personal websites. it makes me so so happy that neocities is gaining popularity, mostly because i love seeing people try their own hand at making a website for themselves, a new form of self-expression. i won't go into too much detail on this because i've already said everything i want to say about it (see above), but if you take away anything from this post, let it be this: consider making a personal website, a corner of the internet, for yourself, by yourself. not just because you want people to engage with it, or because you want to curate to an algorithm or an artistic/fannish trend. not because you want the things you make to gain traction, to get bigger numbers without considering the people behind those numbers, as soon as possible.

do it because you want to. because you have to. because you think it's cool, and because it's you. people may find it and judge it; but they may like it as well. the more unique and authentic and weird we are with each other, the more we are able to appreciate each other for who we really are. the internet is one of many places we can do this.

i don't really see these forms of self-expression separate from social media, but i do see social media separate from it. to me, social media is a vehicle to strengthen those connections, those relationships, much like DMs and IRCs; but it is not the be-all, end all of the internet. it's only a small part of it. not everything is permanent on the internet; but everything that ever has been online is a microcosm of the human experience, whether it's an old cloudflare site or twitter dot com in 2010.

our experiences on the internet are not about corporate interests. it's about using limewire to download pirate music, sharing random links we find, building a design that may not be practical or universally appealing but still represents a form of individuality. when i think of how the internet has grown, i don't think about what it means for companies or advertisers or what meetings must go on to get people like me to keep using it—i think about remembering the difference between addicting games dot com and addicted games dot com, clicking links on websites to find even more websites, sitting at the family computer and deciding if i wanted to spend hours on neopets or that one willy wonka flash game i grinded like several hours on one night when i was 7. i think about what it's always meant to me, because the internet was not always a centralized place where i was going on the same website every day. the rise of internet centralization to the point that it's become expected, the norm, the primary way any of us to be online, is not inherently a bad thing—but i wouldn't say it's a universal good, either, when the internet is a wide and vast space, and can be so much more than that.

because the one thing that remains throughout the years is our agency and choice. we still have the ability to make the internet what we want it to be, or at least a corner of it, something separate from the corporations, the enshittification, economically researched user interfaces and experiences, the advertisements, the "like and share so the algorithm boosts me more." there's still a point to it all without the money, and without twitter. and it's both our desire for creativity and self-expression, as well as our intrinsic bonds with each other. despite it all, it's about our humanity.

as the internet continues to grow, so do we. nevertheless, the importance of our humanity, and retaining it, will remain. oftentimes it is up to us to remind ourselves of that.

-

links here, for access:

Bluesky CEO Jay Graber Says She Won’t ‘Enshittify the Network With Ads’

R U AN ARTIST ON SOCIAL MEDIA??? by omoulo

links @ kingdra.net (my links, like bookmarks)

A manifesto of sorts; or, my love letter to the personal website by me

[wowstrawberrycow]

Oh, goodness! It looks like someone strung up some mistletoe! What three couples (or throuples!) got stuck together underneath and how’d they react?

Ok so this prompt inspired me to do something so much fun!!

Setting it up with some notes!⬇️

(This is the partyverse!!! Totally planning on making a partyverse timeline master list too btw! Thank you for the inspiration y’all! Lol this is totally connected to my 7 minutes in heaven prompt 🤣! In my prompt timeline, this happens before the 7 minutes in heaven one. I’m gonna say that the 7 minutes in heaven one is on New Years lol Lindir is too invested in his fun to join his lovies at the New Year's party. After Adar had Brimby in the closet they went outside to talk to gil-gadaddy about them being poly with one another! I absolutely will alter what I need to in order for these prompts to connect!🤣 I'm on a mission now!!!)

December 21st 

Once upon a lovely winter holiday, there was a glorious party at Elrond’s homely house in Rivendell. He invited many of his friends across Middle Earth to celebrate the solstice with him. He was happy to accommodate all who attended with a beautiful fireplace to settle down with many stories to tell and a plentiful banquet table. Even the passers-by who happened upon his gracious home were welcome to partake as usual.

Lindir X Elrond X Thranduil

Lindir had waited all year for this moment. He chest tightened as he spied the mistletoe he had hung in the doorway not long before the party had started. Tonight was the night. He was going to say it for real this time. ‘I’m going to ask him… I can do it.’ he took a steadying breath before he could finish his thoughts. The feeling of mature loving lips fluttered in his mind just as the butterflies did upon his stomach. He closed his eyes, savoring the imaginary bliss. However, upon opening them he felt his heart sink. The sight of the tall blonde bending down to cling to his secret love had him gasping. He turned away before he could witness them lock lips Out of sight in a far-off corner of the room. No one in the room noticed them but Lindir.

Silently he had exited the party hall with sharp pains in his stomach and chest. He had no tears to cry; for those were much too hard to evoke. Instead, a heavy feeling of regret befell him. Why hadn’t he spoken sooner? Would it have even mattered? He thought there was something odd about Elrond’s situation with Thranduil. The man was visiting multiple times a year. Elrond had also visited Thranduil in a similar accord. It all made sense now… How could he compete with the elven king? He was only a lowly council member… He hung his head in embarrassment. How could he be so foolish? 

His thoughts were soon broken to a gentle touch of his shoulder. Lindir jerked his head up in surprise. Shock soon filled his face when he spied Thranduil on one side and Elrond on the other. “What? What is it, my lord and king?” Lindir bowed his head in respect.

“Oh, I think you know.” Thranduil leaned on the man with alcohol already on his breath. He laid his head playfully over Lindir’s shoulder. The blonde already was tipsy with boldness.

Elrond rolled his eyes. With a shake of his head, then he gently patted Lindir’s hair. “I’m Very much aware of your pining my dear. I just wasn’t sure how far it went until tonight. The pretty bit of greenery you had hung was a sweet gesture. I suppose I assumed correctly then? Was that meant for you and I?”  

“I- I… My Lord, I can explain..” Lindir stuttered, baffled with nervousness dripping from every part of him.

“You know Daddy, He is very cute. I don’t mind at all so long as I am allowed time with him as well.” Thranduil hummed lower, ignoring the man's sputtering. Alcohol surely was the culprit of such behavior. 

“D-Daddy?” Lindir gasped, covering his mouth with wide eyes.

To this Thranduil smirked, leaning into Lindir’s side. The shorter man stood there with a gaping mouth, looking between Elrond and Thranduil. He was quite unsure what to do with himself.

“Doll, play nice with him.” Elrond took a scolding tone when eyeing the blonde with a dominant warning in his eyes.

“ Oh fine.” Thranduil huffed quite pouty towards his dom’s command. Though ultimately he obeyed.

Lindir was still quite speechless. After a moment he desperately needed confirmation, “I-I... Are you both insinuating what I suspect?” 

“ Yes. I believe so my dear. That is if you’re interested in us both. My doll is very special to my heart. But, if you can allow yourself to feel loved by us both then I will gladly have you at my side in that way.” Elrond spoke softly, caressing Lindir’s cheek.

  “Y-Yes.. I think I could try.” He eyed Thranduil shyly then peeked at Elrond with a dark blush rushing to his cheeks. 

With that, the two men hauled Lindir inside where the party was merry. No one paid the trio any mind as the two each kissed one of Lindir’s cheeks. It seemed harmless enough for the time of year. The joyful season called for snuggling close and expressions of innocent affection. Even as the three sat by the fire closely as they shared their stories, their new relationship fell on oblivious eyes. Or so they thought. 

Legolas X Gimli

Legolas was a rather observant elf. They people watched often so seeing their father in the arms of Elrond was quite expected. They had witnessed the two of them subtly longing for each other and exchanging sweet brief kisses on the lips every chance they had. No secrets could be kept from Legolas for very long. Speaking of kisses it was about time for their fair share. 

“And what do you think you’re doing?” Legolas snickered seeing their husband downing beer. They had to laugh at the dwarf’s rosy drunken face. This also was very expected.

“What do ye want, ye leafy twig? Can’t ye see I’m in the middle-” Gimli was cut off by the elf scooping him up in their arms.

Legolas chuckled, running off to the mistletoe. After seeing their father enjoying it they wanted their fill of it too. Such fun kissing games were. 

Gimli chuckled drunkenly while giving his spouse’s hair a playful tug, “Now wait just a minute you cheeky canary, I am not a teddy bear you can just run off-” His rant was then cut off by Legolas once again. 

Before the dwarf knew it he was under the mistletoe sharing a deeply passionate kiss with his spouse. He soon grew content to settle in his lover's arms. All that truly mattered on this night was that they shared it together. This thought made his heart sing. He hummed, laying his head against Legolas’ shoulder. “ Why don’t we take this to the balcony? A serenade is bubbling in me, my beautiful gem. I need to share it with ye before it fades.” 

Legolas felt their heart pitter-patter with glee. Their husband’s poetry always made them feel weak in the very greatest of ways. “How could I resist my dearest wish’s proposal? However, I request you write it down this time. Or I shall have to scribe it for you. I do not want to lose any of my darling's beautiful words on this night. I’ll immortalize it for my eyes only.” Legolas gushed as they sped out of the room with their husband and pack in their arms.  

Gil-galad X Celebrimbor (Brimby)- In my perfect shipper world these 2 are happy and very much in love. If you read the 7 minute in heaven prompt you also will know that eventually Adar joins them! Just wait Adar my beloved you too shall be loved soon!

Celebrimbor was beginning to feel left out. After seeing several others partake in the little game brought on by Lindir’s hanging mistletoe, He could feel his eyes wander over to his King. A faint blush busted his cheeks. With a bit of courage, he tapped Gil-galad’s shoulder. “Darling, do you mind stepping over with me? If it’s not too much trouble.” he looked between his dom and the greenery that hung in the doorway. “I know you like to catch up with everyone and-” Brimby stammered nervously, trailing off into silence.

Gil-galad’s heart swelled with a light akin to liquid as he watched his sweet little mouse chatter on. Such a darling little thing he was. Gil-galad couldn’t hold back his grin while placing a finger against his lover’s lips to cease his mumbling. “You know I always have time for you. Come my dear.” He offered Celebrimbor an arm as they made their way across the room.

Brimby leaned in, snuggling close to his King. There truly was no other place he’d rather be than in his handsome lover’s arms, “Thank you my King.” he could already feel his mind growing fuzzier with anticipation as a softer headspace slowly befell his mind. That of a princess he’d soon be. Once under the mistletoe, the mouse peeked up at it, then shyly spied his king. 

“Well, go on my dear. Show your King those beautiful lips.” he coaxed the timid little mouse from his arm. Then with the most gentle hand, he guided his submissive to stand in front of him. 

Celebrimbor obeyed his King’s pillowy order, by tilting his head up with his lips puckered timidly and ready.

“That’s my sweet princess. Such a good boy.” Gil-galad leaned down whispering praise into his mousey princess’s ear.

This evoked a soft shiver that ran down Celebrimbor’s spine. A small whimper escaped his lips when he felt his King’s grace of his own with a feathery peck. It was a teasing touch, this only meant one thing. Brimby gulped, before speaking up “ May I please have another that is deeper and passionate my King?” he asked in the sweetest voice he could.

“Of course darling. I’m so proud of you for using your words to speak what you desire.” Gil-galad stroked his princess’ cheek before locking lips with him fully. He slipped his tongue in expertly exploring his mouse’s mouth. 

By the time Gil-galad had parted from the kiss Celebrimbor felt dazed. His breath hitched with a mild weakness. He couldn’t help but fall into his King’s arms. 

Gil-galad smirked at his princess’s speechless reaction, “Come, sweetness, let us grow warmer by the fire.” The regal man drew Brimby closer to his chest and led his sub to a comfy place where they could snuggle near the heat. His sweet one would need the closeness more than ever since he had fallen into a vulnerable nonverbal state. “You just stay close. I have you, my dear.”

With a small hum, Brimby obeyed his King snuggling deeper into the security his dom provided. Meanwhile, his hand stroked his King’s hair to prevent his floating mind from sailing away completely.

------------------

I had a blast writing this!!!!

I hope you have a wonderful holiday season!!!

☃️🎁🎄

[s3l3n3-volturi666]

Won't say I'm in Love ~ Isaac Lahey X OC

(I'm not comfortable doing X Y/N just to say sorrand this is Part 1 of my new Fanfic series BTW )

This time was well needed after the hectic week of Exams. The Pack Teens are hanging out in the woods just talking about endless amounts of topics when Lydia turns to her sister, Persephone. "How have you been. With your job search and all? " Lydia asks and Persephone looks up.

Persephone POV :

"Good. The FBI offered me an apprenticeship spot but I'm not too sure about it. I mean, I'd be leaving my family behind. My Pack behind. I can't just abandon you all. " I tell her and Isaac looks over to us. "Besides, Beacon Hills is all I've ever known and the spot is in Quantico all the way in Virginia. How the hell am I meant to cope

. " I add and she nods. "You sure that's all ~? " Lydia teases and I spot Allison wave to Isaac who smiles back at her and my heart aches at the sight. "Even if there was, his heart isn't mine even though mine is his. " I admit and she sighs softly. "You're in LOVE ~. Admit it! " Lydia says and I scoff. "I'm not in LOVE ', Ariel. " I snarl and walk off, Kira runs after me. "Want an honest opinion? " She offers and I nod slowly. "Tell him about the Job offer and if he loves you he'll support you. If he doesn't, do it anyways. It's your dream job after all." Kira says and we head back to the others. "Isaac! Can I talk to you about something? " I call out as I walk into the clearing and so we head into the Old Hale House. "What's up? You seem nervous. " Isaac prompts and I nod shy all of a sudden. "The FBI offered me an apprenticeship spot in Quantico . I am conflicted on what I choose. Can you help me? " I sink to the floor as Allison walks into the room. "I think you should go. Me and Scott don't want you here. " Allison sneers and I sigh. "Isaac? What's your opinion? " I ignore Allison and Isaac makes me look at him. "I say follow your heart and your guts. " He says and Allison stomps outside. ' I won't say I'm in love but I will say I'm particularly FOND of Isaac Lahey. ' I think and Isaac helps me up onto my own two feet again. "You will be the one I miss the most, Isaac Lahey. " I feel tears flowing and Isaac kisses my forehead. "Call me every night? " Isaac holds me and I nod. A promise.

Isaac POV :

Its been a week and I am constantly in pain. Why? I don't know. "We can ask Deaton of Derek. " Liam suggests and my phone goes off. FBI. "Hello? " I pick up my phone and Liam listens carefully. is this Isaac Lahey? ' A woman asks and I gasp. "Yes, Ma'am. I'm Isaac Lahey. " I motion for Liam to get the others so he does. "What's going on. May I ask? " I sit down as a new wave of Pain hits me. I put it on Loudspeaker. "I'm afraid that Persephone Martin gave herself in place of some hostages so we could save them. I'm Penelope Garcia." The woman says and Lydia sobs as her phone goes off. "Miss Garcia. Persephone 's sister's phone is being called by Persephone's phone. " I tell her as Lydia answers it, on Loudspeaker. "ARIEL DON'T DO IT!? HE'LL KILL YOU AND THE PACK!? " Persephone's voice yells out and then we hear her scream in agony. "I'm a Federal Agent, Bitch!? " We hear another and a Male groans in pain, I double over as the pain fully hits me making me growl from the force of it. "I know where you all are and my men will kill you. " The man hangs up and soon knocking on the Loft Door is heard. "FBI! We're the BAU! We're the Team that Persephone's part of! " A woman yells and I sense the truth. "Favorite meal to cook? Coffee Order? Color? Animal? What supernatural creature is she? " I raise my voice and a man answers instantly. "Mushroom Risotto. Caramel Iced Mocha or a Clotted cream cold brew, always Starbucks. Blue. Wolf. Banshee. " He gets it all correct so we let them into the Loft. "Specifically your eye color Blue. It's her favorite. " He adds and Lydia nods. "Correct. " She agrees and Penelope sighs. "I thought dogs would of attacked my team by now. " She says as some of us stop growling. "Werewolves, Baby Girl. Not Dogs. " An Agent says and she hangs up. "Well done, Dr Reid. Your memory saved us. " He pats his shoulder and I see Peter raise an eyebrow at them. "I'm Agent Derek Morgan. " The dark skinned male says and I nod. "I'm JJ. " The woman who spoke outside of the Loft Door says and we get taken to the Headquarters under Protective Custody.

END OF PART 1

FOLLOW FOR PART 2 and more.

[melishade]

Number 6?

This ask game

Hanji's anger at Levi at the fact that they left Optimus behind and that Levi listened to Megatron's order. For more context: Part 21: Hanji’s Perspective

BTW Hanji goes by they/them pronouns now. For more context on that: A New Identity

"Hanji." They heard Levi speak. He clearly let himself into their office. How he got in, they'll never know. But they chose to ignore him. He wasn't the focus right now. The focus was their work.

"Hanji." They still chose to ignore him as they examined the metal parts of their 3D gear. Something was missing on this part. What was missing?

"Hanji, you need to stop." The scientist paused at that. They almost laughed. That sounded like a plea. Levi. Pleading. Hilarious.

"You've been locked in this room for days. You only come out to eat and you smell like shit," Levi continued.

"And what do you want me to do?" Hanji finally spoke, shrugging with tired carelessness.

"Stop," Levi answered, "Take a break. Talk to someone. Anyone."

Hanji ignored his plea. "I need to finish this project-!"

"That project can wait-!"

"Until Shockwave comes to the island and kills us all?" Hanji demanded, "Levi, I'm not in the mood for whatever you have going on, so I need you to leave."

"How can you say that when you are the Commander of the Survey Corps and people fucking need you?!" Levi finally let out some of his anger.

Hanji slammed their hands on the table and shot up before glaring at Levi. "How can I? How can you?"

Hanji stepped forward. "How could you follow Megatron's orders? You hate his fucking guts. And you've been following him around like he's your superior?"

Hanji took another step, but Levi stayed still. “How could you abandon Optimus? After everything he did for us? For you? The lives he saved? You forget what he did for your squad and this is how you repay him? Leaving him with that monster?!"

Hanji got in Levi's face. "I wanted to save him, and you didn't! And you're acting like that's okay!"

Hanji noticed that Levi wanted to say something. He really did, but he kept his mouth shut at their words.

"Get out of my office," Hanji ordered.

"If you don't come with me right now, I'm breaking your legs," Levi swore.

Hanji chuckled bitterly at that before they shoved him out the room. "I'll crawl back here if I have to. You know me better than that. But I don't know you at all. So do us both a favor. Since you seem to be so inclined to follow Megatron's orders, just go run back to him like a fucking dog."

Levi flinched as Hanji slammed the door in his face. He wanted to scream at them. He wanted to yell and express his feelings, but...he just felt so guilty for running away. For being the first to run. He felt his hands trembling. It was calculated. He saw that look on Megatron's face. It was more than enough for him, but...they left Optimus behind. And Levi couldn't forgive himself for that.

However, he knew that Hanji would destroy themselves. He couldn't let that happen. He needed outside help to get them to stop what they were doing.

(Yeah Hanji was emotionally compromised at that moment. They were not thinking clearly and hurt Levi. I still have prompts from that list that I don’t mind answering. Link is above. Thanks.)

[myfanfic-urfantrash]

I know this isn't really a request but if it's fine, can I ask for some advice? 😭

I want to write character x reader fics but I'm afraid of getting the character "ooc". What should I do?

Oh btw it's fine if this gets ignored, but if it doesn't then thanks so much in advance!

Sure I can try to give some advice though be warned I am typing so fast things might blur together :D

Under the read more cause it loooong

You're afraid of getting a character to be out of character? My suggestion is that you do your research! What do I mean by that? Well I mean study whatever information about that character you're able to find. This can be character audios that are within a game, pages of manga where they show up and dialog between them and other characters.

Every bit counts but don't ignore other characters in the process because in order to get a good feel of a character you need to see what others think of them. Like do other characters think they're pretty nice and caring, do people hate them and why do they. You should also consider the environment the character is in as well as whatever culture the character's environment may be based on.

I would say not to create and Alternate Universes until you've got a good hang of what you're working with first as you could add unnecessary details and get lost while trying to figure out what is what. But I do encourage writing shorter smaller works be it headcanons, short scenarios/imagines to get started. Don't worry about making the character out of character when you first start out because even the best of writers can make a mistake here and there.

I also encourage writing for yourself first before taking requests from other people. This can be hard if you don't have any ideas of what to write in the first place but think about what you'd like to read but haven't seen yet on any of the sites where you read. For me as an example I saw many fics where Scaramouche was rather degrading or down right abusive to the reader, I didn't like that so I wrote a few where while he's still abrasive, it's part of his personality, he does treat the reader with care with his actions rather than words.

If you still have no idea what to write I suggest looking up writing prompts! Those can be a great way to get started. I also encourage just writing but not deleting anything as you go until the very end because if you're too busy deleting stuff you're too busy to write!

I'd also suggest writing things in more than one point of view while writing character x readers it could help you figure out what style you prefer to use and what sounds better to you.

But back to the topic! If making a character ooc is what you're worried about when writing try to think about what would cause a character to say/do something rather than "____ would never say/do that!" I say this because you limit yourself by thinking a character would never do something like let's say for example murder if they're a kind a warm soul.

You need to think what would drive someone so kind and welcoming to kill someone. Perhaps they had no choice as it was either them or their enemy because they were trying to protect someone precious to them. Think about stuff like this and you'll slowly open your mind to the wonderful possibilities your writing can take.

Let's use Jing Yuan as an in game example for a scenario where you'd think he wouldn't do something: Helping Criminals. In the main quest Jing Yuan works with the Stellaron Hunters in order to get Dan Heng to awaken his powers again. Now The Stellaron Hunters are wanted criminals ALL over the universe basically, what would drive a General who has every right to arrest them to let them leave without capture? Simple: There's a bigger threat that they can't deal with that needs a specific person, Dan Heng, to gain access to.

I dunno if this is clear enough of what I mean but I hope this helps you and any other writer who wants to get into writing character x reader.

[brujamala-aka-gigi]

a tarot reading just in case you need to remember this: it's okay to be a bitch.

we all know good vibes, kindness and empathy are amazing traits and etc BUT... there's shitty people who don't deserve that and some of us can't pretend like we are not full of anger. "negative" emotions are just as valid as "positive" ones, they contribute to our growth and our character, and they also keep us same from further harm.

pile 1 pile 2 pile 3

pick a pile and let's find out what type of "bitch" behavior can bring something good to your life.

MASTERPOST & PAID SERVICES

xoxo gigi <3

images from pinterest and dividers by @ithemes 

plz excuse the shit quality pictures of the cards, i'm working on that but i didn't realize how bad they were until i uploaded them :(

btw I'm doing a poll so you can pick a day when its convenient for you and me to do an ask game on here, answer some questions with my tarots and give away readings from my menu.

Pile Number One

Hello there! So, the cards on this reading are mostly “positive” if we take a superficial approach, and ignore the prompt of this reading. What I see here is that, although there’s a sense of brightness, joy and enthusiasm that is typically associated with your identity, there’s a lot of your inner world that it’s not getting any chances to be manifested into your daily life. I think many people assume you are happier than you actually feel, and many people think the joys and blessings of your life came to you out of nowhere, they think you’re naturally successful, when in reality you are quite the hard worker. Nobody likes to be realistic in the struggle to achieve anything, so it's understandable to some extent that people are not seeing the actual strength and patience that it took you to be where you are. 

Personally, I think that sometimes it’s really hard to fight back against misconceptions on how hard do we actually have to work in order to get something, it’s even harder when people don’t allow you to express anger, and belittle any feeling that it’s not as comfortable to be around as your usual “good vibes”. You are the type of person who everyone is too lazy to understand beyond their own romantic ideas of you. Don’t let others dehumanize you like that, you are a person, not a secondary character in someone’s love life, or the sweet innocent sidekick, or the girl next door, or whatever. Embrace everything that makes you complex and misunderstood, as these are the things that will bring you closer to people who are actually interested in your true self. 

But, there’s absolutely nothing wrong if you’re being strategic about who gets to see your most genuine version and who doesn’t. I see a lot of prosperity for you in the future, and you might not be able to appreciate this now, but your career choices will make you quite happy eventually. Take a lot of time to reflect on the people you want to keep around you, trust your intuition and prioritize your mental health, don’t be afraid to communicate your emotions in ways that others might find uncomfortable, in the worst case, by doing this you will find out who actually deserves your time and energy. And please, don’t fall for the first person who shows any kind of romantic interest, this is not a great moment for you to deal with a relationship, as there’s some emotional work to do first. Be persistent with how you take care of yourself, be patient and kind to you in the same way you are with others. 

Pile Number Two

What I’m seeing a lot on these cards is a lack of closure and proper communication about it. I’m not necessarily talking about a situation that hasn’t been settled yet, but more so about the fact that you are able to perceive things deeper than the average person and whenever you can, you do go ahead and take the actions necessary in order to get things going in the way you know best. You are someone who moves quickly and efficiently, but others who are more dogmatic in their ways are beginning to find issue with this, forcing you to conform to spaces where everyone knows you are too overqualified to be in. 

I don’t think you are someone who is submissive or someone who allows people to walk all over you, but I see that you’re trying to find less conflictive approaches to issues and situations that you are used to solving in more explosive ways. Behaving in a more “diplomatic” or “assertive” way is not exactly what works for you, but at this point it is necessary that you learn to tolerate being put in this position. I don’t see you losing your values or your ideals, not even your personal strength. But I am concerned that you might be doubting yourself with things that are so bonded to your nature that you haven’t even thought twice about so far, and rightly so! You’re lucky that your determination and passionate ways, even when proving an inconvenience to others who don’t get it, has been channeled in such proactive ways. 

At this point, all I can tell you is that whenever you are being forced to remain in stagnation due to self doubt, you shouldn't attribute this to your lack of will to stick to norms and traditions, but more so, this situations happen because people around you need to catch up with what you already saw and processed. This means that many times you will have to choose between waiting or moving on by yourself. Be strategic about this, and always make sure that there are comfortable places for when you need to reflect and relax. Yes, many things have gone right for you by moving impulsively and following your gut, but imagine how much more you could accomplish if you took some time to plan. 

There’s nothing wrong with your creativity thriving in chaotic environments, there’s nothing wrong with being confrontational and hot headed, absolutely nothing bad about being perceived as hot headed and impulsive… just be more mindful on how to channel these parts of yourself. 

Pile Number 3

Okay, this is a complex set of cards for a complex and sensitive person.  What I'm seeing here is this sort of nostalgia other people have for a version of you that was painful to live for yourself. I think plenty of people were feeling too comfortable with you when you were not on top of your game or working towards your own personal happiness. I feel like you are now beginning to find new ways of questioning and deconstructing ideas and actions that are no longer serving your deeper desires, and you are sharing this with people who are not willing to join you in this path, while also alienating you from your own power to manifest into existence the person you want to become. 

As you are beginning to move away from spaces of comfort that were designed for a weakened version of yourself, you will realize there’s plenty of facades and deceitful half truths. It’s a shame that all you have during this moment is your own emotional intelligence and a well justified sense of hope, nobody should face things like this on their own. But being realistic, solitude is a strength in your case, and you will soon find out that this journey was meant to give you consciousness about the powers and strength, many have tried to hide from you in order for them to keep the spotlight. 

Don’t let others force you into being someone who is only an ornament or a tool for keeping a facade. Even if you are naturally generous, kind, empathetic, and altruistic, it’s not a betrayal of those values to focus on growing outside places that don’t deserve all your sensitivity. This is a moment where you will find plenty of personal characteristics that many have ignored or belittled, cultivate those and nurture your ability to exist on your own terms. You have more control than you think, and far more tools than you imagine. It takes bravery and intellect to take the steps you are taking into finding new ways of being yourself, while also being celebrated and respected. 

Always remember that many times, others will make you believe something crucial to you is a defect, or a disadvantage, but it’s up to you if you’re taking into consideration the thoughts of someone who doesn’t know why you are who you are, and who you are trying to be. (You shouldn't).

[snnbnny]

Sad anonymous back at it again.

How would Bokuto, Ushijima, and Kyoya (or pick one you don't have to do all three) react to a s/o who starts crying after a verbal fight. Feeling extra sad today.

Hi sad anon!! love your lil asks omg!!

Wakatoshi Ushijima reacting to his partner crying after a verbal fight!!

'•.¸♡ C/W for W.U : Stone cold ushi, Repressed issue, miscommunication, several mentions of pregnancy so afab! reader or if you wish omega reader, little out of my own cannon ushi, soft ushi at the end, this is hurt comfort btw, its nice I swear, mentions of jealousy and falling out of love ♡¸.•'

'•.¸♡ Tagging: @wakatshi @towoshi♡¸.•'

'•.¸♡ A/N: this totally went in my own spiral but I hope its something similar to what you wanted! I'm low key proud of this so.... also listen to FINNEAS while you read this,, just a suggestion. Idk the vibe kinda fits.♡¸.•'

╰─▸ ❝ W. Ushijima

"Ushi?" The two of you were halfway threw yet another silent dinner which you had graciously created. "Has everything been ok?"

"Why do you ask?" His tone was flat, you tried to reason with yourself that the lack of emotion in his voice was the same as normal. But the past few weeks had felt so different to you, you were so worried that you had upset the man in someway or that your first fear has come to florishion- he didn't love you anyone or never really did and he found some he did love.

"You've been acting strangely," you couldn't really name the small things that really drew your attention to it.

"You have to be specific, Y/N." A shiver went up your spine.

"You've been distance, more emotionless. Ignoring my messages, hell you've barely made eye contact with me this whole night!" The anger came out of the depth of your chest, it was not truly anger- more like grief.

"Sound's like my normal behavior to me, Y/N." A pin could drop and it wouldn't break the tension. He stood from his seat and walked to the kitchen in order to dump his half-eaten plate and place the dish in the freshly cleaned sink. "Maybe it's you that has a problem."

You couldn't bring yourself to look at the man, your watery gaze fixed on the barely touched dish before you, "Yeah, maybe..." There was barely any confrontation but you were already so defeated. So tired. You had waited so long, hoping it would have resolved by itself- instead it only festered and exhausted you.

"I'm heading to bed, I have an early flight tomorrow." God, you forgot he had an away game in the following days prompting him to be gone for at least a week. Of course you had forgotten, you were so wrapped up in the drama you were possibly creating in your head that everything else lost precedence.

"Goodnight, Ushijima. Good luck." You couldn't let yourself move until he was gone. When he did, the dam broke. Choked down sobs accompanied your waterfall of tears. Quietly you placed your plate into the sink and rushed into one of the guest rooms you use to store some of your personal items. The sound of the soft click which accompanies the closing of door gave you enough sense of safety that you let out a loud sob, followed by others and other sounds of saddness.

It was only made worse by the secret you had yet to tell your husband, one that would normally only tie the two of you closer if it wasn't for

a) the current turbulence in your relationship

b) his past hesitance towards the topic of children

Your hormones were so all over the place, you didn't know what emotions to believe at this point. Maybe it was the pregnancy hormones causing you to flip out at something which was probably non-existent.

You were to lost in yourself to hear the sounds of your husbands heavy foot steps coming closer only noticing the hint of his existence when three soft knocks wrapped at the door, "Darling, are you alright?"

"Y-Yes!"

"Then why are you locked in the guest room instead of in bed with me?"

"I-I'm not feeling well Wakatoshi! You need your sleep!"

...

Even Ushijima could smell the bull, "I'm coming in!"

The sight he was by was pitiful, but pulled on his iron heart strings. There you sat curled on the floor still dressed in your day cloths and face covered by tears, snot, and running makeup. He hurt more when you scooted away from him, it took him this long to realize he had truly upset you- that the last interactions the two of you had just had were actually a fight of some manner.

"Y/N-" He knelt down so he was closer to your height almost as if you were a scared dog. "I'm sorry, dear. I didn't mean to upset you. There is nothing wrong between us."

He was dumbstruck by the following question you asked, "Is there anyone else, Wakatoshi?"

He almost laughed at the inclination, "No- not at all. Not ever. I don't think any one else could stand me."

Just as quickly as you had pulled away from him, your were jumping into his arms- hiding your face in the green t-shirt he had deemed appropriate to sleep in after knocking him on his ass. He smelt of freshness, sandalwood, and home.

" 'M sorry." You whimpered, he was holding the back of your head and had an arm wrapped around your back.

"It's alright love, it was my fault. I got so wrapped up in my work life I didn't notice that you were hurting." He kissed the crown of your head as he petted your hair.

"The hormones don't help though," the remark slipped threw before you could think about it.

"What hormones? You aren't on your-" For once, your husband was truly thinking. It was like it clicked right away, you could even tell before he said anything by the fact he pulled you back and looked you up and down before whispering. "Are you- Are you pregnant?"

"Yes." You responded, no strength to try and change the subject or be coy in any way.

"Thats-" A pause, "-That is amazing, Y/N."

"You're not mad?"

"Mad? No not at all, my love. Having a child with you is a gift! I know I've been awkward about the subject due to the timing, but I've always wanted a big family with you. Our children would not only be as pretty as you, but have so many inherited talents."

You laughed, kissing him in order to stop him from rambling.

[shnie]

Cornflowers in Bloom

hello! this is my very first fanfic that i'll be posting here, so pls make sure to let me know about any tips you have for me, or any mistakes ive done! ♡

☆ title meaning -> cornflowers symbolize hope in love, and it is said that if a cornflower maintains its bloom, then there is hope that the young man's love will be returned.

☆ sypnosis -> You and Kazuha have known each other for as long as you can remember, and you have recently noticed his unusual behavior... Until one drunk night, he spills his heart's troubles to you. (no smut and no sakoku hunt decree here btw<3)

☆ warnings -> alcohol

[additional tags -> kazuha fanfic, bestfriends to lovers, feelings denial, kazuha is a softie 4 u]

It is yet another monotonous day, dealing with the fatui, maintaining order throughout inazuma, and much more mundane tasks.. You don't have much friendships going on due to your secretive nature, which is why you wholeheartedly cherish your friendship with Kazuha.

Kazuha is a very amiable person, not only is he considerate and nice, but he's also very creative. You've known him ever since you were children, so you practically know more about him than he does himself.

His charm attracts you and makes you want him, and his swift fighting skills intrigue you. He has a very composed personality, which is one of many reasons you have harbored feelings for him.

After finishing your tasks, you look forward to spending some time with Kazuha for leisure and relaxing. You told him to meet you during nighttime at the harbor since it is one of your favorite meeting spots.

When it's time, you head to the harbor where countless ships are going in and out. The moonlight shines gloriously at the sea, and fish are moving freely amongst the great sea. You spot Kazuha sitting beautifully at one of the benches, so you sit next to him. He looks beautiful. His hair adorns him really well. Except, he seems quite upset about something.

"Hey, Kazuha. You seem down, what's the matter?" you prompt.

"You're here." he replies while avoiding your curious gaze with a pink color in his cheeks. You can't help but think he must feel really hot.

"Mm? Are you okay?" you question.

"I'm fine.. So uh.. how was work today?"

You figure that he's trying to dodge your question, but you question no more. Your conversation about old memories and recollections continues..

The next day, you resume work and your daily routine with anticipation for meeting with Kazuha. At the awaited time, to your surprise, he isn't there.

You wonder if perhaps he had gotten sick, or maybe he just simply forgot? Unwanted thoughts crawl their way into your train of thoughts but you decide not to make much of it, for you don't want to be pessimistic.

Everyday, you wait and wait again for Kazuha to show up and apologize because he hurt your feelings, maybe he found out about your feelings for him and didn't like it? You decide to just go sleep and ignore it.

The following day, you decide that you'll go meet him next to a maple tree under the starry sky, so you send him a letter with the location. He's your closest friend and you would rather not lose him, even if it were for your feelings toward him.

At the appointed time and location, you depart, wearing a long floral dress that accentuates your waist, and a few accessories here and there.

He's here. Kazuha actually came. You feel relieved that you get to have a talk with him. He's next to the big maple tree, sitting beside it. You sit next to him and take a big breath before exploding.

"What is wrong with you? You suddenly disappear and leave me worried about you with no explanation. Do you think it's funny? Because it's not." You roar.

"Well I... I apologize.."

"I demand an exp-"

And then you're interrupted. By a kiss. He seems passionate and eager to kiss you. To feel your soft lips against his. But you can feel the taste of alcohol on his lips..

Does that mean he actually likes you back? Crazy, isn't it? He was ignoring your meetings and then suddenly kisses you intensely. What a contradiction.

You pull out gasping for air.

"Kazuha, you're drunk." you point out.

"That's right."

"You don't mean it, right? The kiss.. I just wanted to have a talk with you.."

"You don't have to talk to me about anything. I apologize because I left you like this. It was so sudden. I did it because I began to realize .. I love you. It's too much to bear, and I thought maybe.. you wouldn't want that.."

"Kazuha? Are you saying this because you're drunk? You won't remember this in the morning." This whole thing is confusing. Well, it's not that you don't like him back, but you're afraid it's a joke.

"Trust me. I love you. Doesn't matter whether I am drunk or not. I'll repeat it a thousand times for you to understand."

"Kazuha.. I love you too."

Then, you pull closer to his face. He looks even prettier when taking a closer look. His lips are hot and his kiss even hotter. You feel his hands grabbing on your waist. His moans are delicate and his voice is breathy.

"I love you.." He whispers between his kisses.

I DIDNT KNOW HOW TO END THIS FORGIVE MEEE

after writing this i realized that its cringey but whatever 🧍‍♀️

-shnie

[latenightdislyte]

Hi! Could you do a Falken x reader fic where the reader is recovering from some injuries but refuses to sit still for too long so Falken has to keep an eye on them to get them to recover properly? I too am obsessed with this man and I’m sad that there aren’t a lot of fics about him. 😔

I apologize if this sounded weird or doesn’t make sense, this is my first time requesting a fic and couldn’t figure out a good prompt to give. Love your fics btw!😁

Buh, I had a page and a half written for this and my brain tried to say 'but what if we did this instead' like, no brain I've already rewritten this once, we're sticking with this, fuck off with your shenanigans. I'll have to work on writing for Falken more so sorry if he seems ooc.

I'm glad that I'm the first person you've made a request to. It makes me happy! This was a good prompt and I think Falken fits it perfectly. Thank you for the support! <3

Anyway hope you enjoy!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Working for the Esper Union always had its risks, especially for those who weren’t espers. Some of us in the offices worked with some sensitive paperwork and reports making us targets for those wanting information, like the Shadow Decree. I myself had never had a problem with anything or anyone. Until recently, that is. I was only supposed to be working a five hour shift that day, but was asked to stay and make it a nine hour. With the shift extension, I was required to take a lunch break at the time I was originally supposed to get off, not knowing that I had some… company waiting for me.

The Shadow Decree had been tipped off to the times certain people were supposed to be off work and waited to follow them a safe distance away from the Union HQ before attacking. Unknown to them, I was just going to lunch and still had a specific device on me. One that allowed me to contact certain members of the Union regarding paperwork and questions.

I had already been messed up pretty bad by the time I remembered that I had it. Thankfully it hadn’t been broken and I quickly used it to tell them what was going on before it had been snatched out of my hands. Not too long after my device had been taken from me, Commander Falken and a couple Union Ops Chiefs had arrived and quickly took care of the Decree members with only a couple of them getting away. Falken had taken me to the med bay himself while the Ops Chiefs stayed behind to clean up the mess and make sure there wasn’t anyone lingering about.

That leaves me in the state I’m currently in. I had received some bad injuries here and there, but the main ones were a large gash on my leg and a spot on my head where I had been hit hard. The whole incident happened three or four days ago and they didn’t hurt that bad anymore, only on occasion when I step or turn wrong with that specific leg or swing my head too fast. I figured that, as long as I was careful, I could be at work. Wouldn’t want to get too behind on reports and paperwork and I felt bad that they might have shoved all of my work on someone else.

I made my way to my desk, ignoring the slight burning coming from my leg injury. No one seemed concerned about my condition, they just welcomed me back glad that I was ok. As long as I didn’t run into a certain someone I should be able to get through the work day with no problem. I didn’t need him worrying about me while he had plenty of work to do himself after all. He has a tendency to fret too much.

I stretched my injured leg out in front of me after sitting down, situating a small trash can under it to prop it up, and began to work. I was right about the build up of work and am glad I chose to come in today, anymore and I would have to put in overtime while skipping some breaks to catch up. First things first, I needed to get the paperwork organized and make sure it was all in order from when it was placed here.

Short time skip

I hadn’t been working for too long when I felt my stomach rumble. I’ll admit, I didn’t eat much for breakfast, coffee makes me feel full for some reason. Pushing my chair back, I stood and stretched before making a b-line to the lounge. There was always someone who brought snacks for everyone and if something wasn’t to my taste I could just hit up the vending machine.

Entering the lounge, I froze. Great, of course he was here at this time. Falken stood looking out the window as usual, it was something you could find him doing quite often. A favorite pastime of his. Maybe I could get past him without him noticing me. Last time I got the least bit hurt around him he wouldn’t leave me alone ‘til I let him tend to it. It was a cardstock cut. A little over the top if you ask me. Seeing as how he knew about my current state, he would undoubtedly be on my case about being here today, especially after insisting that I stay home ‘til I was better.

I quietly made my way to the fridge, not wanting to draw his attention to myself. I’ll leave him to his thoughts. “I had heard you had come in today, though I was hoping they were mistaken.” Damn it. I turned to the slim man still facing the window, my eyes meeting his through the reflection. “Commander Falken, I’m fine. Really. I just take care of paper and computer work, not much else.” He turned, stepping a foot back to face me. “It’s the stress and exertion of energy that is the problem, energy your body needs to heal itself. You’d be better much sooner if you were at home resting.” I turned back to the fridge and finally saw something that caught my attention. “I already have plenty of work piled up from just, what, three or four days? I can get caught up today and maybe take tomorrow off. I can come in every other day. How’s that?” I turned back to him, snack in hand, just in time to see him shake his head, eyes closed. “Unacceptable. Come on. Time to go.” “What? Falken, come on, I’m fine. Just let me- Ow!”I hissed and jerked away. He had made his way over to me and pressed my side, pain spiking from a forgotten wound right under my rib cage. “Well yeah it’s gonna hurt when ya do that. Ow, damn.” He stepped to the side and gestured for me to go. I sighed.

Falken followed me to my desk, where I closed down the computer and gathered the less confidential papers to take with me. “Follow me for a moment, I’d like to swing by my office and grab a couple of things.” I was confused, why would he want me to go with him. He just wanted me to go home and rest right? “Uh, ok.” We went to his office and he went through some papers and leaned over his desk, clicking a couple of things on his computer before straightening up and stretching his arms in front of him.

He grabbed a shoulder bag from a hanger on the wall. “Alright, sorry about that. Let’s go.” “Wait. What are you doing?” He stopped and blinked at me, tilting his head. “Well I’m taking you home. I’d like to make sure you’re actually resting and are properly taken care of so I’ll be accompanying you.” Heat engulfed my face and I froze. Falken was… what? Shit. It was a struggle enough to keep my composer from the sight of him at work. Now he’s gonna be with me at home. Hoo boi.

The whole walk Falken silently stayed close to my side, every now and then getting a notification and typing away on his device. I walked mindlessly, trying not to think about the situation or the pain building up in my leg. My head also started to become just a bit woozy, I’d been standing too long at this point. I hadn’t realized where we were going until I had stepped through the door. That’s when it hit me. This wasn’t my place.

“Falken? I thought we were going to my place.” He turned back to me. “Hm? Ah, apologies. I forgot to mention that. Why don’t you come sit on the couch, I’ll get you some tea.” “I- sure, I guess.” Did he just change the subject on me. Whatever, I’m already here. I made my way to the living room and sat down, resting my head in my hands for a moment. “What kind of tea do you prefer: lavender chamomile, earl grey, green tea, peppermint, oh, I just got this new blueberry hibiscus herbal tea.” Without thinking I got up, a slight burn blooming from the injury, and made my way to where his voice was coming from, leading me to the kitchen. I went over to see what all he had. “What are you doing?” “Huh?” “Go lay down on the couch, I’ll get you some tea and something to eat. You need to stay off that leg and rest your head.” He shooed me away. “Now go.” I squinted at him. “Green tea or lavender chamomile sounds good.”

I sat on the couch again this time laying along it. Falken entered not too long after with two mugs, placing one on the coffee table in front of me and the other on a stand between the couch and a chair. He left momentarily, returning with the bag he had brought with him, pulling out a laptop and making himself comfortable in the chair. “Thank you, Falken.” “You’re welcome, I hope you like it. You should get some sleep after you’ve finished, your wounds will heal faster.” 

I drank the tea while scrolling around on my phone, nothing really catching my interest. Setting the now empty mug down I stared at the ceiling, mind wandering aimlessly. Until a melody played in my head. I knew instantly what it was and I smiled, no better way to pass the time than by watching movies. I searched through my movie app and quickly found it. Alice in Wonderland, the live action from many years ago. Making myself comfy, I started the movie, keeping the volume low so as to not bother Falken. 

I was about twenty minutes in when he spoke up, I think just realizing that I was watching something. “What are you doing? You should be trying to sleep.” “I just wanted to watch a movie, the song kept playing in my head and wouldn’t leave me alone. Besides, I’ll probably fall asleep while watching this anyway, so...” He sighed. “Fine, but just this one. Then you’ll get some sleep. Alright?” “Mhm!” I started the movie again smiling as it played, unaware of Falken glancing at me from his laptop with a small smile forming under the face mask he wore.

Within thirty minutes I was almost completely out, the movie still playing as my phone fell from my hands. The thunk it made woke me slightly, but I didn’t bother to pick it up. Instead opting to continue laying there and going back to sleep. I could hear movement from Falken, footsteps approaching the couch. The rustling of fabric giving away him crouching next to me, picking up my phone and placing it on the table. A gentle touch caressed my cheek, thumb stroking my cheekbone, before tucking some hair behind my ear. Then the lightest feeling brushed against my forehead and the scent of his cologne invaded my senses, my heart now pounding in my chest. 

I smiled and snuggled into the blanket I had pulled from the back of the couch, hoping that he would just brush it off as me moving in my sleep. Finally beginning to drift off, I hoped I would remember this moment when I woke up.

[clairecrive]

Yeeey! I found these prompts: "don't leave!", “Stop saying that!”, “I wanted to see you" and ”How long have you been out there?”, and also a plot :)) What if Billy was sent to a psychiatric hospital (i really have no idea if it's the right term) after those events? And Y/n visits him and he doesn't remember her and is so distant and cold with everybody? Maybe he also gets into fights with other patients. It's up to you! Thank you so much, have a good day/night! 🤗

The Hospital saga (part 1)

A/n: so, I changed it a little but I hope you'll like it all the same. I lowkey hate the title btw. Also, I'm planning to make a part 2 for this x

Warnings: angst

Word count: 2.2K

Tags are at the end. (tag list form)

You hated hospitals with every fibre of your being. Walking through its hallways was an incredibly humbling experience. It reminded you of your privilege, of how healthy you were and that as much as things could suck, you were still doing okay. You were okay. You were happy and whatever had turned your day sour could be fixed.

But of course, they also reminded you of loss. Of all those times spent beside a bed trying to lighten up the mood for your sick grandpa as the room filled with your family and your familiar chatter. You'll never forget how the pain seemed to ease on your grandfather's face every time one of your relatives would walk into the room. Alas, you'll always never forget the moment where the hospital became the last place your grandfather ever was.

As you walked through these familiar hallways, you tried to put these thoughts away. Today was not a day of loss. On the contrary, today was a day to be grateful. Grateful that for whatever reasons, despite the heavy injuries that he sustained, Billy was still here with you. He was stable, had just undergone extensive surgery but had made it through. They had fixed whatever they could and now he was resting.

Now it was time's turn. Along with heavy physical injuries, Billy had also suffered severe head trauma. It was going to be an arduous challenge to overcome. The doctors had told you that he might not remember everything or remember only some things. They couldn't be sure of the extent of the damage until he woke up.

And that was why you were here today. The dreaded call had finally arrived: Billy had woken up.

You quicked your pace, hating that you weren't there when he woke up. Of course, he was going to choose the only moment you'd gone back to change clothes and have a shower to come back.

Whatever, you could be mad at him later. Now, you only wanted to see him.

When you finally arrived at his door, you found two armed policemen standing guard in front of it. They changed every day so you didn't know them but the commander in chief had given you a pass so that they knew they could let you through.

As soon as you walked in, you swallowed a cuss as you realized someone had beaten you to it.

Of course, Madani was already here.

''What are you doing here?" You quickly walked over to her standing between her and Billy's bed.

"You're not on his case anymore, Madani and you're sure as hell not family so get out of this room."

"They say he doesn't remember anything but it's bullshit. He's lying, again- because that's all he knows to do. He's a liar." She sneered, completely ignoring your words, her eyes fixed on Billy.

"I already told you, lady, I don't know you." You tensed as you heard Billy's voice. It was muffled, no doubt for the bandages he had around his head, but it was unmistakably him.

"Do I need to get a restraining order? You're not allowed in this room or anywhere close to him. So, for the last time, get out." You spatted pointing at the door. This time, she turned to look at you, her face in a snarl. You had met her enough times by now, to be familiar with the hatred that shown in her eyes every time it came to Billy. Your heart hurt for her and the pain she went through but your Billy was in a hospital bed too.

You didn't know what happened exactly nor what was her relationship with Billy. Sure, she had given her statement, her version of the facts but you'll be damned if you chose a stranger's words over those of your boyfriend. So, until Billy could speak and give you his version of what happened, you were with him.

"You're wasting your time, y/n. He doesn't remember you. As soon as he can walk, he'll be out of here and in another woman's bed in no time." She snarled as she took an intimidating step towards you, "And where would that leave you? Poor little y/n, who's spent the last months crying at the bedside of someone who's never given a shit about her."

"At least I've not been visiting his bed just to stare at him like a creep. You're the one wasting time here, Madani. Spare me this bullshit and walk away."

Madani chuckled sourly as she shook her head, no doubt thinking you a pathetic fool. And while that might be the case - you knew that there was every chance that Billy didn't remember you and wouldn't want anything to do with you- there was still a tiny chance that you could be able to rebuild what you had. And if hoping made you a fool then so be it.

Finally, Madani left. You watched her as she walked out and even until she took the elevator. You were about to go talk to the guards outside to make sure that this wouldn't happen again when Billy spoke again.

"She's something alright." He chuckled or well- you thought that's what he did. You couldn't hear him very well but where your ears failed you, your knowledge of him filled in.

You had had that conversation with Madani at least a dozen times. They would be a slightly different version of this one but it would always end with her walking away and you taking a seat next to Billy. Never before had he been awake to witness it though. You had forgotten ten he was here-which filled you with shame.

His voice brought you back, anchoring you to the moment. It made you remember why Madani had been here in the first place. You spun around as the thought hit you and for the first time in months, you could feel Billy's eyes on you.

"That's one way to put it," you chuckled sitting down on your usual seat. Taking a deep breath, you forced yourself not to freak out but you couldn't help the smile that formed on your face as your eyes met his after all this time.

"I'm so happy you're awake, Billy. How do you feel?" you whispered not quite believing that you were really talking with him.

"Like I've suffered a major head injury." He groaned.

"Do you remember what happened?"

"No. The doctor explained to me what happened but I can't remember." He huffed, his restrains clinking as he shuffled in bed.

"Hey," you reached out to his hand closest to you, "it's okay, Billy. They said it could happen and that your memory was going to come back gradually." Or not at all but you didn't dare to say it.

"I don't remember you either," his voice barely above a whisper but it echoed in your mind as if he had shouted. Your fingers tensed and you tried to swallow the lump in your throat. You had been preparing for this eventuality but the truth is that nothing could have ever prepared for these words.

"That's okay too, Billy," your voice a whisper as well, "that's going to change and if not, I'll just have to win you over again, won't I?" you joked, trying your best not to lose it in front of him.

They told you that this was something that could happen. The important thing was that Billy was okay. He was going to get better and even if his memories weren't going to be back fully, you'd still be here to help him through it. And if it ever comes the time that he didn't want you there anymore, then you'd learn to live through it.

Not wanting him to overexert himself, you kept the conversation light. Your hand never left his even when the chatter eventually died. You kept him company until visiting hours were over and asked him if he'd like for you to come back tomorrow. You held your breath as you waited for his answer, afraid that he was going to keep you away. But he nodded- for whatever reason he said yes and for the first time since he had been here, you left his room smiling.

As promised, you went back the next day. You found him without his bandages but he had a weird mask on. You chose not to comment on it, knowing how hedonistic Billy was and simply bid him good morning.

He greeted you with a groan and you figured he had woken up in a bad mood. You couldn't blame him. To wake up in an unfamiliar bed, not remembering how you got there or anything for that matter was- well, you couldn't imagine how traumatic that could be.

Hence why you paid it no mind to the fact that his tone was distant and cold and he didn't bother engaging with you. He simply answered your questions or just sat silently. Not that he could go anywhere, of course. So, you tried a different approach.

You took out a book from your purse- his favourite book- and asked him if he minded if you read to him. He only gave you a nod but as you read, you could feel his eyes on you.

That night as you laid in bed, you worriedly went over your meeting with him. It was bad. He seemed not to want to interact with you. And while that was entirely fair giving his situation, you worried that things could never get better if he didn't want to talk to you.

Needless to say, you didn't get an ounce of sleep. No matter how many times you told yourself that it was going to be fine, that your Billy was there, you just had to give him time, that he was healing from severe trauma and being reticent to talk with a stranger was a completely normal reaction- you couldn't shake these negative thoughts.

So when you went back the next day, you weren't surprised when the guard told you that you couldn't come in. That Billy didn't want to see you. You had seen it coming after all but that didn't make it hurt any less.

You took a seat in front of his room. Of course, you were going to respect his wishes but you couldn't bear being away from him. Not when he was in such a vulnerable state.

Billy was not in his bed that day. He was sitting in front of a woman, mask still on. She seemed to be taking notes so you presumed she was his psychiatrist. You watched through his therapy session, how he seemed to struggle with something consequently getting worked up and how he'd start pacing. It was during one of these moments that he noticed you sitting out of his room. Your eyes met but he didn't say anything. And even if he did, you couldn't have known since he had the mask on.

Tentatively, you raised a hand and waved at him. He didn't return the gesture, simply turned around and went back to his session.

Sighing, you slumped on your seat. Head softly hitting the wall, you grimaced as you realized that you should begin to consider the possibility of leaving Billy behind.

Not long after, the door opened. The unknown woman walked out without sparing you a glance-weird- and Billy stood at the threshold.

"How long have you been out there?" He asked, ice in his tone. You shrugged having genuinely lost track of time.

"Why are you here?" He insisted in what you knew was his 'Anvil' tone.

"I wanted to see you." You said in a small voice, knowing that if Madani was here she'd mock you for how pathetic you were in this moment.

Billy flinched at your words, frantically shaking his head as if you were uttering complete bullshit.

"Don't say that- stop saying that!" He bellowed taking you by surprise. You flinched on your spot wondering why he was reacting like this, what was going on in his mind- but before you could talk again, one of the guards spoke as the other was busy restraining Billy.

"Ma'am, you should leave."

"I don't understand- hey, don't hurt him he wasn't doing anything." You screamed as Billy squealed in pain. The guard had shoved him to the wall without any care for his injuries.

"This patient is dangerous and your pass has been revoked since we've been told he's not allowed any visitors. Don't make us physically remove you."

"Don't you dare touch her, you bastard." Billy kept screaming and struggling in the policeman's hold.

"Look, I'm gonna go just don't hurt him." You raised your hands in defeat and took a couple of steps back to prevent them from taking action.

You had millions of questions, why was he not allowed any visitors all of a sudden? They had told you he didn't want to see you but was it really his decision? If so, who could be in charge of such a decision? What could have changed from yesterday?

But you knew it was best to leave it for today. Billy had gotten worked up at your words -another thing you didn't understand- and you knew that the policemen weren't going to hold back given Billy's reputation.

You were going back tomorrow and you were going to speak with whoever is in charge. If they wouldn't change their dispositions at least they had to give you an explanation.

tags: @blackst0nes7077, @thefictionalgemini, @tarkanelima-blog, @pansysgirlfriend, @acciorudolphx, @supernaturalcat7, @crazyclownchick, @deardiarystuff, @aleksanderwh0r3, @hazlerose14, @crowssixof, @qhbr2013, @odetostep, @strawb3rrydr3ss, @shadow4ndbone, @secretsthathauntus

[fanfic-chan]

How about Midnight and Mina gang up on Aizawa who’s grumpy after a long day? And afterwards Midnight is like, “Oh by the way, I made your favorite,” for dinner. :D Love your work btw!

Tysm! Oh my gosh this prompt is soooo cute! I did struggle with it a bit at first, but I did my best and overall I think it turned out alright! I hope you like it!^^

Grumpy Cat

Lers: Midnight and Mina

Lee: Aizawa

"Senseiiii! Come on! You can't just lay there grumping around all day! You need to get up and eat something, and everyone's afraid to come in the kitchen because of you!"

"Not my problem."

"Ugh! Your hopeless!"

"I can live with that."

"Grumpyhead!"

"Brat."

Mina had been going back and forth like this with her homeroom teacher for about ten minutes now, trying to get him to cheer up with no luck so far. Aizawa-Sensei's moods weren't exactly uncommon, but ever since his patrol schedule had been changed, and he'd had less time to sleep, they'd been becoming more frequent. To the point where his students and coworkers alike were starting to worry about him.

Some of the more reserved students, like Ojiro and Tokoyami, did their best to avoid him, deciding it was best to let him have his space, while others like Kirishima and Midoriya made an effort to cheer him up by doing small favors or offering compliments. Nothing seemed to be working though, and Mina was starting to get sick of it.

"Come on! Your always on Midoriya's case about taking care of himself, but look at yourself! Don't you want to set a good example for Mr. Bonebreaker?"

(A muffled, "Hey! I'm not breaking my arms.. As much..." Could be heard from the common room, but Mina decided to ignore that argument for the moment. She was already busy with another one. She could deal with Midoriya's sad excuse of self-care later.)

"It's do as I say, not as I do."

"Ugh!"

She was just about ready to give up for now when Miss Midnight walked in. She paused in the doorway and frowned when she spotted her moody coworker.

"Hey Shouta. I picked up your favorite from that restaurant you like- Ah. I see he's in one of his moods again."

"Shut up Kayama."

The Rated-R hero rolled her eyes at that before making her way over to the distraught hero in training.

"So? How long has he been like this?"

"Three hours!"

"Have you tried bribing him with coffee?"

"Obviously."

"Cat videos?"

"Of course!"

Kayama leaned back against the kitchen counter, thoughtful. Few things could get Shouta out of these little episodes when he had them, but there were a few techniques that she knew of that worked pretty well back in highschool. 

See. She, Yamada, and Oboro had a system when it came to Shouta's moods. First they would just give him space, then, if that didn't work, it would go in the order of: forcing him to nap, giving him juice packets and/or coffee, or play cat video compilations. Then, if he still refused to cooperate, as a last resort, there was- Ah.

Bingo.

"Hey kiddo. I think I know just the thing to get Grumpy Cat here smiling again."

"Really?! You do?!"

"Yup. Just follow my lead."

Slowly, quietly, Midnight crept up behind the unsuspecting insomniac, and after a small nod towards a very confused but excited Mina, she dug her fingertips into his ribs. The reaction was immediate.

"K-Kayamahaha! W-Whahat are you dohoing?! Quhuit it!"

"Awwww~ What's wrong Shouta? Don't tell me the big bad erasure hero is ticklish~"

"Sh-Shuhut up!"

She heard a small gasp of surprise from Mina and looked up. The girl was practically bouncing in place, eyes wide and mouth agape.

"Sensei is ticklish?! Your kidding!"

"Nope. He sure is. Been that way since highschool."

"No way!"

"Yes way!"

"Stohohop tahalking as if I'm not hehehere!"

At this point, the erasure hero had practically melted into a puddle of bright laughter, an odd sight for the usually stern teacher. A sight that Mina seemed to find very amusing, if her own giggles were anything to go by. 

"Hey Ashido."

The girl looked up at her curiously, and she smirked.

"Wanna help?"

"Can I?!"

"Nohoho! She can't!"

"Yes, she can! Come on Pinky!"

That was all the permission the girl needed, it seemed, as she immediately pounced on her teacher alongside the woman.

"Don't worry sensei! Miss Midnight and I will cheer you up in no time!"

"Hahaha! Nohoho! 

They kept this up for about another three minutes or so before, 

"OKAYOKAYOKAHAHAY! I'LL GEHEHET UP AND EHEHEAT!"

"Finally!"

As the two of them backed off, after taking a minute to compose himself, Aizawa snatched up the bag of food Kayama had brought and started eating, the woman sauntering out, looking smug. Satisfied, Mina started to leave as well when,

"I hope you don't think your getting off the hook for this, Ashido."

She looked back at her sensei in surprise. That tone had sounded almost... Challenging?

"Sensei?"

"I never let my opponent's get away, so you better watch your back. I always get my revenge. Consider it a training exercise of sorts, hm?"

She was sure she'd misheard him at first, because Aizawa-Sensei was never playful, but the mischievous little smirk on his face as he made eye contact with her cancelled out her doubts immediately, and she grinned.

It was so on!

[a-wonderful-use-of-server-space]

Btw, in regards to what I was referring to in my reblog, I actually found the post I referred to earlier and I wanted to link you so you can see what you think. The OP has 1) a lot more information than I did, and 2) makes the argument far better than I did just loosely paraphrasing what I could remember. (Just remove the spaces; Tumblr can be weird about URLs in asks so I'm taking precautions.) h tt ps :/ /lymmea.tum blr.c om/post/694924875490623488/deleted-my-previous-posts-of-ai-generated-art

This is genuinely a very good point, but I feel like it says more about capitalism's tendency to devalue creative work because it has no concern for quality over profit. AI art can be used to spark inspiration towards hand-made pieces and it can be used to shunt out actual hard-working artists in favor of some minimum wage nobody typing prompts into a box. Graphic design can uplift a product and give it an identity all its own or it can end up being rote fill-in-the-blanks cliches like the glut of low-effort Canva-made romance novel covers on the market now. Photography can be used as a way to shed sharp light on important issues that'd be ignored otherwise or it can be controlled, cropped and altered until the original context is twisted into something altogether different.

As far as I'm concerned, it's not a problem with the tools themselves, it's a problem with how society as a whole undervalues the skills it takes to properly operate the tools in order to create something of genuine artistic worth. Until people learn to appreciate artistic skills on the same level as more "practical" or "economic" ones, this is gonna happen regardless of what they're using to do it.