#i'm demi so i can say this

[wandrlustrr]

Colin Bridgerton really out there living by the 4 D's of demisexuals

Denial

Desire

Despair

Dumbass

[uncanny-tranny]

Every time you think, "Oh, I don't have [x condition], I'm basically cured!" that is the devil talking. You aren't cured, you are likely going through periods of your symptoms waning. Don't cease whatever you're doing to help yourself, like medication, for instance, because it's likely you still have the conditions or symptoms, even if you aren't noticing them as frequently or severely.

[demifiendcruithne]

i am not sorry for making my personal helper program pull a demi-fiend if i try and leave its folder

i thought it was funny. now if only terminals supported orange text

[coockie8]

I don't know what anti needs to hear this, but a ship having the occasional argument, sometimes insulting each other, and having *gasp* sex every now and again is not "toxic", that's called an average, human relationship.

Sorry, but I see antis who brag about how "problematic and toxic" their blog is, while having a several miles-long DNI full of anything and everything that could even be remotely "problematic" way too often, and it's like what, exactly, are you defining as "toxic and problematic" here, when all the actual "toxic and problematic" themes are in your DNI????

[p4nishers]

eddie diaz is gay

[bikananjarrus]

always a bit of a whiplash moment (and a disappointing one at that) when i'm reminded that characters that i've headcanoned as queer aren't actually canonically queer. like somebody refers to them as straight and i'm just ????? THAT guy???? you think that guy is straight?? now i've got bad vision but i don't think i'm the one who needs to get their eyes checked lol

[clemencetaught]

i know i said i needed to rewrites parts of his backstory because of a major change i might and i will. but i also don't feel like making any anticipation for this because honestly? it doesn't change too much about him...

basically, patrick is trans (ftm). he transitioned in secondary school and while out about his queerness, his gender is something he keeps more to himself.

[kate-apologist]

i genuinely love being ace, i take so much joy in how i experience attraction, but holy shit that first lesbian break up compounded with my asexuality sent me into a tailspin so hard i briefly wondered if i was aro as well

[chersoyei]

as a demiromantic i so relate to seungjin catching feelings for someone he's friendly with

[jonathanbyersphd]

Is demisexuality considered part of the ace spectrum? Bc I have always been a demisexual Jonathan truther.

Yes! It's on the Ace Spectrum! Also he just GIVES Demi vibes like idk

[sysig]

The latest KoiBo chapters are Really Interesting for ace reasons 👀

[catsnuggler]

.

[chalk-homunculus]

I think... in many ways, I really just want to feel loved, but I'm scared of accepting it, and scared of feelings I feel like I "can't control" so I end up taking an overly analytical approach and overjustifying things like natural curiosity to myself by calling things "just scientific fascination" and "morbid curiosity" (because in my mind, things I feel I am not "allowed to" experience, be curious about, or consider, seem like they're taboo, hence 'morbid'). I can't really fault others for thinking that's messed up. I've definitely ruined chances at receiving any sort of care and/or love in the past by not only pushing people away in delusional self-sabotage states, but also by treating people like equations or research projects. I sort of hate admitting to myself that I DON'T know or understand everything, and that doing so is impossible no matter how much I like knowing things, especially since my inability to just trust and take what people tell me at face value is in juxtaposition with that desire for knowledge and thorough understanding. It is actually me and my own doubt of people that drives me into over-questioning everything I DO know.

I also am terrible at paying attention to others. I know this. I forget that other people are, well, people, and that they won't know how much I care about them unless I express it and KEEP expressing it. Not just verbally but with things like asking people how they are doing- assuming they'll just tell me if they want me to know is something I do, but I know very well how easy it is to feel like a burden and close your troubles away from others in fear of being "too much" to deal with. I've reflected on this, and my unhealthy manner of expressing fondness and trust for others being that I'm far too quick to traumadump and talk about myself, in the past, but I've not been making nearly enough progress on it.

I think, I seek and crave for too much clarity without offering any myself, that has driven people away from me in the past, and it's purely my own flaws causing it.

Maybe with another year or two of reflecting, I will be able to handle something like a qppr without it falling apart because of my aloofness and inability to pay enough attention to others. Perhaps in half a decade, I could consider a romantic relationship, if I've made any progress with all that + trauma work, by then.

[heyitslapis]

Ive been asking myself the last week "are you just excited/happy/loving the attention or does it go deeper than the attention?" And the answer is idk. I think both

[arcane-strangeness]

[wisheswagered]

also, more headcanon sharing time! this time for both lily and chloe. can you tell i'm obsessed with having morally questionable but sympathetic girlfaves yet-

i've written on lily once before re: my headcanons, but i think the key idea i'm sticking to is the idea that like... she has the warped belief that whether one "suffers" or not is entirely in that person's own control, based on how they choose to respond to it. it's a mindset that has a grain of truth to it taken too far and twisted out of control. as a result, while she still feels that those who inflict suffering on others are in the wrong, she's more willing to do "bad" things because she doesn't fully believe she's "making" people suffer. does that make sense?

her beliefs are a result of trauma and conversations with galatea, not a result of her psychosis, mind you. she's not actively going around hurting people, either... but if she was given a good enough reason to do something arguably harmful, she'd be arguably less reluctant than others to go ahead with it. generally, though, she's not a dangerous person to be around. (i do still worry about unintentionally further stigmatizing/writing stereotypes about people who experience psychosis, though, so if anyone thinks that this portrayal could be harmful, please let me know so i can change it!)

as for "vera," or rather, chloe... in my portrayal, she's the kind of person who'll put herself over strangers any day, and struggles to empathise with people. in general, she dislikes them, seeing them as either "bad" or "naive," but in reality... she has more of a conscience than she wants to admit. as detailed in her experiment file, she's surprisingly fragile and experiences strong feelings of guilt when she actually feels she's done something wrong. but she's very good at justifying to herself that her cold, more selfish behaviors are actually "okay," and usually operates in some level of denial when it comes to dealing with other people.