#i'm definitely hoping to get published one day though and i'd love to make writing a profession

[kattythingz]

Fanfic Writer Interview

Why, @hijinks-n-lowjinks, husband mine, thank you for the tag! Ask and ye shall receive!

◆ How many works do you have on ao3?

25 currently, if you're not counting my old hidden works and the even older shit I have on ff.net.

◆ Your top 5 stories by kudos/likes:

Hhhhh. I have a feeling I know which one is first... aaaaaand I'm right. HHHHHH.

1. Mother(ghost) of Mine - danny phantom, phantom family (HHH)

2. A Crown with Gems and Gold - fma, edling (MY PRIDE AND JOY)

3. The (Un)Subtle Art of Staring - fma, elric bros (this is from when I hc'ed Ed as GAY instead of aroace. GOD THIS SHIT IS OLD, WHY)

4. Apple of Your Eye - sk8 the infinity, roleswap au (:D!!!)

5. What Sort of Imminent Threat - epic the musical, astyanax lives au (:D!!!! pt. 2)

◆ Do you respond to comments? Why/why not?

YES!! BECAUSE I LOVE GETTING LOVE AND THE VALIDATION OF PPL LOVING MY WORK!! For every comment I receive, I gain a life <3

◆ What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Errrr, this is a tough one. Even tho I largely write angst now, I've yet to write an unhappy ending (tho I've def fantasized of it lmao). My angstiest ending is an unpublished S.C.I. fic, but published... Apple of Your Eye, ig? Cuz I leave it kind of open if Adam is defeated or if he gets to traumatize Reki more haha.

◆ What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

Okay this is even tougher. Damn. I guess... By No Auspicious Day? I mean, edling literally get engaged. They're dorks. Yeah, that's the happiest one for sure.

◆ Do you write crossovers?

Definitely!!! I've got a young justice x fma crossover going on rn, and literally 99% of my other fma aus are set in other fandom medias lmao (hades, monkie kid, epic, hamilton... to name a few). I've also been contemplating a batman crossover where Ed and Mei (edling established) end up in Gotham and they meet the batfam while trying to get home 👀

◆ Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Errr, not quite hate but def some back-handed and passive aggressive comments. It got me to delete a fic once haha, cuz ppl lacked the reading comprehension to realize I didn't ask for criticism :)))

◆ Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

... So, I can now say yes to this. No, I'm not telling what ship. No, I'm never posting it under my name. Though I might clean it up one day skjvjkwgnw

◆ Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don't think so? I hope not, anyway.

◆ Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope.

◆ Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nope! I've listed a few fics as "co-written", but looking back on it, those weren't co-written at all. I did all the actual writing on those; I just overestimated in my head how much my friends at the time "helped" with my fics tho and wound up thinking "oh! i talked with them about the fic a lot, so they're co-writers!" No, babe, they're not. Recognize your own hard work and value plz.

◆ What’s your all-time favorite ship?

I honestly don't think I have one. Like yes I get intense hyperfixations and certain ships will be ALL I think about in the time, but that doesn't make them my favorite ever? My current fixation is edgreed tho lmao.

◆ What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

Probably that one yunmeng prides fic i've got sitting at a pretty 16k in my drive LMAO. I just hit an awful wall with it and I KNOW I'll never have the energy to pick up from the point I left off. I'd have to rewrite the entire thing and... yeah, no.

◆ What are your writing strengths?

Emotional moments!!! I'd like to think I have a way with handling Big Emotions and the build-up that leads to them exploding! I've also been told a lot over the years that I'm pretty good at getting into my characters' heads, both the good and the bad 👀

◆ What are your writing weaknesses?

Action. Fucking ACTION, my god. Loathe that shit from the DEPTHS of my bones. Don't be fooled by my semi-decent results in fics, the actual process that's gone into any action scene ever has always been LITERAL HELL, SO MANY DRAFTS, TOO MANY FUCKING DRAFTS. If I could take action out back and shoot it, I would :)

◆ What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in a fic?

For the love of fucking god, if you're gonna write ENTIRE dialogue and not just one line, do your goddamn research. DON'T JUST GOOGLE TRANSLATE THAT SHIT. IF YOU CAN'T EVEN BE BOTHERED TO SEE IF THE SENTENCE IS CORRECT THEN AT THAT POINT JUST WRITE IT IN ENGLISH AND SAY "HE SAID IN [LANGUAGE]". IT'S ESP ATROCIOUS WITH NON-LATIN-BASED LANGUAGES LIKE ARABIC (LOOKING AT YOU FUCKING ISHVALAN AUS).

(Edward Elric would NOT speak in perfect fancy-ass formal dialect, that nobody native actually fucking uses either??? He'd have the most EGYPTIAN ASS DIALECT. Hell, I'll take Jordanian too!)

9/10 times, we can TELL it's google translate, okay. It's stiff and formal and translates LITERALLY rather than contextually. And half the time it's also just fucking wrong. Languages aren't just your damn vehicles to make a fic ✨diverse✨, they're CULTURES. LANGUAGES ARE CULTURES, AND YOU ARE BUTCHERING THEM.

CUT THAT SHIT OUT, I AM BEGGING.

◆ What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to?

OOOOH, Magic Kaito!!! I'd LOVE to rewrite a kaishin version of it where Shinichi serves Aoko's role instead! I'd also love to dip my toes into writing sth for conqueror of shamballa, because by GOD do I want Ed to be happy in Germany with Alfons and Noah. Do I gotta do everything myself???

◆ What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

Come on, you know it's Crown. You know. It's the canon rewrite of my DREAMS, exactly how I'd rewrite brotherhood if I was given the choice. I've got ANIMATICS in my head for this bitch, entire scenes, this is an ANIME in my head. I want AMVS FOR THIS MF. But that anime doesn't actually exist in a visual medium. And I cry.

POKING @sirchenchen @inthebluz @kaethefangirl @kiingleoturtles. Thanks again for the tag!!!

[changelingsandothernonsense]

Hi :) Just read one of your oneshots and really loved your writing style. Teldryn's self-destructive behavior - and the way it hurt those who care about him - was gut-wrenching and honestly incredible.

I'd love to read more of your fics (esp the longer ones) but wanted to ask: is there a specific order you'd suggest reading in?

Hope you have a nice day :D

Hi there!!! I'm so glad you enjoyed the one shot. I get a lot of enjoyment writing them.

Sleepers Awake, my long form Morrowind fic is the definitive starting point. Anything under "Arkanis" takes place midway through that fic. Most of my one shots are between the events of Morrowind and Skyrim or take place during parts of Morrowind’s main quest. Just because I like fleshing out those 200 years. Serious Mistakes is my fic that takes place during Skyrim (or two years before) and I write it concurrently with Sleepers Awake. Though I'd suggest reading it last since Josh mentions a lot of past plot points from Sleepers and the various one shots. It also starts the first few chapters with older characterisations which I've since discarded but was my first foray into writing fan fic. I've promised myself I'd make edits to chapters 1-4 once I finish the first part of the story.

I do have one You chapter that takes place 19 years after Skyrim’s main quest but I don't think it has much in the way of spoilers.

So Sleepers Awake- The Descent- You chapter 3- Adherence- Arkanis- You chapter 1- You chapter 4- The Myriad Relms of Revelry- Serious Mistakes- You chapter 2.

Properties of Ash Hoppers and Slaughterfish, Blizzards and On Apocrypha are older characterisations that have been retconned by SA and Adherence but still happen within the timeline. Just differently. I hadn’t made Teldryn a main character yet so I had no idea what to do with him...working on that turned my focus onto creating a character study through fic.

I think that's everything published...I've got a lot (like 70,000 worth) of work in the editing bay so I'm trying to exclude those.

Anyway I'd still recommend SA as a start. The chapters are relatively long though.

[slavicviking]

20 questions for fic writers

thank you for the tag @oh-stars!! 💚

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

25, but one of them is an art piece i made for a holiday exchange ^^

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

181,334 but if i were to count my longest fic to date (which is in full only on ffnet) it would be around 250,000, I think

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Right now Stranger Things, though years ago I was all about httyd.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Inner Struggles - not kudos but the highest number of favs I'ver ever gotten (like i checked just now out of curiosity and it's 3 away from a 1000 what)

A Blip On Your Radar

stuck with you (I want to be)

The Idea

Long Odds

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I used to and I'm sad I don't anymore but I keep feeling too overwhelmed(?). It's hard to explain. But I would like to let my readers know that I read each and every comment and they make my day, truly! I wish I could write up each of you a huge thank-you note and give you a big ol' hug.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

On Time, definitely

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Hmm, I don't usually do the happy ever after's but I think it would have to be the yet unpublished ending of Grey Matter I guess you'll have to wait and see >:)

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not really, no, and I am so very thankful for that.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

No, not my cup of tea, personally.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Nope. I do imagine them in my head sometimes and that's where they remain.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Does being low-key accused of plagirizing my own work count?

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! A few times and I love y'all for it!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nope!

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

I don't think I have one, tbh. It's ever-changing. Such is the burden of a multifandom multishipper.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Ooh, tough question. I feel really stuck with the subtle art (of non-existing) but I really, really want to finish it.

Also my never-published steddie amnesia fic

16. What are your writing strengths?

Hmm. Dialogue? Characterization maybe? (I hope I'm not making a fool of myself by saying this)

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Detailed descriptions and action.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I'd say, if there's a need, I'd rather do it in italics than try to google translate my way out of this. No shade to anyone of course, it's more amusing than anything, but I've seen so many non-real sounding sentences in Polish in fics (i'm looking at you, teen wolf fandom)

19. First fandom you wrote for?

HTTYD, my beloved

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

Inner Struggles holds a special place in my heart as to how happy I felt writing it. But from the newer stuff, I think A Blip On Your Radar would be my favorite - it's silly, it's short and i had a blast writing it.

No-pressure tags! @sunflowerharrington, @oiveyzmir, @imfinereallyy, @patchworkgargoyle, @thefreakandthehair, @strangersteddierthings

[skywalking-through-life]

20 Questions Writer Meme

I was tagged by @60sec400 ! Thanks friend, this is such a fun thing to be tagged in! 🥳

1. How many works do you have on ao3?

13! I've only been posting for a little over a year, so I'm pretty pleased with that.

2. What's your total ao3 word count?

111,651 words! Another number I'm really, really pleased with. I had a tentative goal of trying to publish 100k words between September 2022-September 2023, and I met it! 🥳

3. What fandoms do you write for?

At the moment just Percy Jackson, though I have written for a bunch of fandoms over the years - Harry Potter as a kid, Star Wars pretty much always, some Tamora Pierce, etc etc etc - I just never posted any of it publically until this past year, lol.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

'Is it blasphemy if he's my dad?' (2,517)

'some have entertained angels unaware' (1,462)

'it's how you swing it' (1,177)

'more things in heaven and earth' (1,054)

'a thin barrier between two worlds' (1,021)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes! I am so incredibly grateful that people take the time to leave me comments that it feels like the least I can do to respond kindly to them. Sometimes I get so busy that it can take me a few weeks to get to them, but I always respond to every initial comment that someone chooses to leave me! I also try to continue to respond to folks who want to have a conversation about plot, or characterization, or what might be coming next, but I don't always continue those conversations indefinitely. So I encourage those folks to come talk to me here! ☺���

6. What's the fic you wrote that has the angstiest ending?

I tend to not write angsty endings, lol, because I make myself too sad if I don't end a story on a hopeful, or at least more ambiguous, note. But that being said, I guess it would probably be 'to sleep, perchance to dream?' That ended on an anxious note, since it was a prelude to a dangerous moment.

7. What's the fic you wrote that has the happiest ending?

I hope that almost all of my fics have happy-ish endings, lol! But if I had to pick...the most clear-cut happy endings are probably in 'some have entertained angels unaware' and 'come wash my war paint away.' They are two VERY different types of happy endings though, one meant more ah, euphemistically. 💀💀💀)

8. Do you get hate on fics?

So far, no. I've had a few comments where folks have let me know that they've disagreed with creative decisions that I've made, and even though those can sometimes sting a little bit, that's more of a 'me and my overly sensitive soul' problem than anything else. It definitely hasn't been hateful! I admit, I sort of live in fear for the day when I get my first one, since I don't imagine I'll be able to avoid haters altogether. Especially because I have some very, very dark fics planned, that are going to tackle some pretty ugly topics. 😬

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes, lol, something that has honestly really taken me by surprise, since I never thought I'd write it! So far I've only written very sweet and fairly vanillla canon compliant percabeth smut - and one very experimental fic where Aphrodite essentially propositions Annabeth (and also Percy, through Annabeth 💀) - but I actually have a lot of plans to write more, lol! I have a sequel to 'to burn and to boil' in the works, and 3-5 smutty wips at least, in outline form. It's mainly percabeth, though a few are potentially percabeth + friends. 💀

10. Do you write crossovers?

No, not yet, but I'm open to the right idea! I love a good crossover.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don't think so? I've had folks write fics inspired by mine, but they have used the 'inspired by' feature in ao3 and tagged me. Which I find incredibly flattering, so I welcome that! 💙

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I don't think so? If you want to do that though, please feel free! I'd love it if you let me know, but you don't have to. 💙

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, but I'd LOVE to! I think collabs are so interesting, and I'm curious to see how my writing practices/style/etc. would mesh with someone else's. So if anyone wants to do that, let me know! I'm not 100% sure I currently have the time, but I'd love to chat about it.

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

Oh God, this one is REALLY hard! I think it might actually be a tie between Percabeth and Luke×Mara, from the Star Wars Legends-verse. They are the two that have made me feral for the longest, because I fell into the brainrot for them both when I was about 12 or so? And now I'm 30, so, lol. 💀I'm not currently writing Star Wars because PJO has me in a chokehold, but whenever that loosens, I'll probably try posting some of my many, many Luke×Mara ideas.

15. What's a wip you want to finish, but don't think you ever will?

I really want to finish all of my wips, and AM actively moving towards that goal, but I have one that I am really, really nervous to finish and post, because it's SO DAMN dark. The working title is 'still half-perfect,' and it is a mash up of a fic I tried and failed to write while sick with COVID - some of whose plot points I reused for world-building - and a majorly fucked up dream I had earlier this year. I think it's going to be a compelling story, but I also think I will get hate comments if I post it, because it is SO DAMN dark. So I'm still working on my courage with that one.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Folks pretty regularly tell me that my characterization is really good, and I've gotten some amazing comments saying that my works really feel like a part of the PJO world! I cherish those. 😍 I've also been told my descriptions and imagery are evocative, and that my technical writing skills are good. I tend to think that I am good at contextualizing and synthesizing information, and am pretty good at foreshadowing!

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Sticking to any type of writing schedule, RIP. 😭 My ADHD genuinely makes it so hard for me to predict when I'm going to be able to focus long enough to make progress, and I haven't developed really any disciplines that help. I also think I am inclined to be too wordy, and I have spent a long time trying to work on being clear and concise. And, I'm definitely just very sensitive about my writing! I get sort of panicky if folks tell me they don't like what I've written, cause I feel like I've let them down/am a failure/other unhelpful and untrue things that I know about myself that am working on.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I'm open to it, but most of my language skills aren't really good enough to entertain the possibility, lol. I could probably finagle something in Spanish, but I'd be leery of using others without help.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Harry Potter, LMAO. I was maybe...10? the first time I decided to try to write fic, obsessed with HP, and the results were both very short and very hilarious. It was also handwritten in a Lisa Frank notebook that I am certain that I no longer have. 😂 But definitely PJO after that!

20. Favorite fic you've written?

This is a hard one, because I don't publish fic I'm not satisfied with? I like all my fics for different reasons! I think that some of my best writing is in 'to burn and to boil,' but that's such a weird, horny story that I know most people probably won't read it. 😂 But probably the story I am most happy with all around- plot, dialogue, pacing, tone, characterization, etc - is 'some have entertained angels unaware.' I genuinely, truly, love that story, and I re-read it whenever I'm trying to get myself back in the writing groove. 💙

Thanks glockness! 💙🫂💙 This was super fun! Let me know if you have any questions, y'all! I'll tag @ashilrak ❤️

[shaych03]

Writer Asks

I was tagged by my old friend and Casey/Olivia shenanigans buddy, @dinovia-grant

1. How many works do you have on AO3? A big, fat goose egg, sadly. Somewhere, out there, I have an old site I haven't updated in years. And fic on other sites, but I never migrated them all to AO3. One day, maybe... My ancient website, broken graphics links and all, can be found here: http://xenafiction.net/shaylynnrose/playground.htm Other fics and such that I've written can be found on Passion and Perfection: http://www.ralst.com/

2. What’s your total AO3 word count? unless my comments count, zero.

3. What fandoms do you write for? When I do write, Xena/Gabrielle, Casey/Olivia, Sam/Janet, Janeway/Seven, Emily/JJ, BtVS: Willow/Tara, Willow/Kennedy, Buffy/Amy, Buffy/Faith, Faith/Cordelia, Kate/Elizabeth, Kerry/Kim, as well as my own original characters.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos? Never gotten any kudos, but I think I had the most engagement from Resurrection is for the Unbelievers, simply because I posted it in regular parts back in the LiveJournal days. I know i had a lot of good feedback on the various things I had written, but they were personal emails, which I cherish and look back upon with strong fondness. It makes me happy that something about my stories touched others.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? I almost always responded to comments, good or bad, just because it meant something to me that my work had inspired someone to say something about it.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Possibly a Xena fic, one that was quite short, called Solitude. It was set during the Bitter Suite era, which overall, was quite angsty.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? There's an old movie, The Pirate Movie, that I latched onto as a kid, because of the song, "Happy Ending" and so...uh, I'm pretty sure everything I write has at least the glimmer of a happy ending, if not a total rainbows and puppy dogs ending...even if the characters had to slog through heck and squishy toast to get there.

8. Do you get hate on fic? Ages and ages ago, I got one of the most confusing emails I've ever seen. It was so badly written that I'd accuse it of being spewed out by an AI, except this was literally in the 90s, so I don't know if AI was a thing then...it might have been hate, or it might have been someone's drunken ramblings, I'm not terribly sure. I think the worst I've truly gotten was comments about how atrocious my grammar or editing was, and I don't consider that hate, just good criticism.

9. Do you write smut? Yes and No. Most of my published fanfic is fairly tame. Even my currently published original fiction is fairly tame...things I've been working on and dabbling with that are still unfinished and may or may not ever see the light? Definitely not tame.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? Yes. Absolutely. Resurrection is for the Unbelievers is a mega crossover between Angel: The Series, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, a Dracula movie, and eventually, Criminal Minds. This is probably my craziest in terms of seriously different fandoms.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Many moons ago, back before even LiveJournal was a thing, someone posted one of my Xena fics to their site without asking. I asked them to remove it, and after some discussion, they did. They'd credited me, but I hadn't given them permission to post it.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Actually, yes. A long time ago, I had someone ask to translate a couple of my pieces and I said yes. I...really don't remember which ones, though. I've slept many, many times since then. I hope they're still out there, though.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? Several times. I'm currently co-writing with a friend. Nothing to publish as yet, but it's a lovely way to get better at many things.

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship? Of what I've written? I'd have to see Kate/Elizabeth simply because I invented it in terms of looking a two characters from different media and said, "They'd really make a great couple". Outside of that, I'd have to proffer the OG, Xena and Gabrielle...they're the ones who got me writing, who got me interacting with internet fandom as a whole, and made me a lot of friends...many of whom I still know, and one of which has been one of my closet friends since 1996.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but probably won’t? I have too many to name, but I'll through out the name of an unpublished piece called The Broken. It's a marvelous monstrosity that I worked on for over ten years with a friend...and we abandoned it because it had gotten too convoluted and silly and really, just completely lost its way. But I learned so, so much while writing it. I'll forever be grateful for its existence.

16. What are your writing strengths? Dialog, world building, emotive descriptions, romance, and I'd say I'm not too bad with action sequences if I put my mind to it.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? I'm too wordy and I suck at grammar. And I love adverbs and will die on the hill that they are a necessary part of dialog...but I do overuse them, especially when writing a first draft. I don't like doing a ton of research, either. I'd rather make it up unless I really need to know something. Good thing I generally write fantasy LOL.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? I don't write well in any other languages...I've had 2 years of high school French, but that was over 30 years ago.

19. First fandom you wrote for? On the page, that people could read? Xena: Warrior Princess, but I was making up stories about Charlie's Angels and other TV shows I loved for years. In the sixth grade, a friend of mine and I had a Wonder Woman (TV series) fanclub where we all spun around and pretended to be amazons out to save the day...so what if it was me and two boys who were telling each other these stories. We were having fun and extending the mythos of a show we loved.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written? Resurrection is for the Unbelievers is probably closest to my heart because of the work I put into it, but I love all my story children, even the ones whose existence has slipped to the back of my mind. They were all words that had to get out and show themselves off to the world.

(small disclaimer, all of the above was written while veeery tired, so if there are typos, I'm sorry.)

I tag whoever wants to have at this thing and have fun telling the world about your work. No specific callouts because frankly, I bet most of y'all have already answered this thing.

[scifimagpie]

Writeblr Q&A

So, both @palebdot and @dyrewrites were kind enough to tag me, and I finally had a minute to answer this!

1) What motivates you to write?

It's more of a compulsion, really. Things get stuck in my head; characters stroll in and start saying stuff, or going through scenes, and then I get that electric buzz that makes me absolutely have to scramble for either my notebook or my laptop.

2) A line/short snippet of your writing that you are most proud/happy of. If not maybe share a line of someone else's work you love (just please credit them)

From a recently completed work, the Prairie Weather trilogy, which I want to shop around and see if I can get published traditionally:

Before him gaped the yawning gulf of his own fuckup. It was dizzying. He��d heard of staring into the abyss, and the abyss staring back, but he hadn’t expected it to be quite so mortifying.

I tend to be at least a bit more poetic usually, but this line just kicks so hard.

3) Which OC makes you smile every time you think/talk about them and what are they like?

Right now, probably Isabella from the Hell Saga - she's just so good-natured, down for anything, and fundamentally kind and hopeful. She really goes through the ringer in book 2, which I'm working on now with my coauthor, though. This is another series we're hoping to go trad on, so cross your fingers for this irrepressible, bisexual Latina and Hispanic counsellor with a strong socialist streak!

4) What process of writing do you enjoy the most?

The first draft can be really fun, but there's something to be said for that second-draft, "all the pieces are in place, now I just have to tweak them" experience. Finishing a book is also a hell of a rush. But that real, fixated feeling of being in the thick of it, often while listening to a playlist I've made specially for the project - that's definitely the good stuff, too.

5) What part of writing do you think you are the best at? (Yes stroke your own ego it's okay)

Characters, dialogue, worldbuilding, and description - in no particular order. I'm really good at making up little people, making them friends and lovers, and then putting 'em through the wringer.

6) What is something in the writeblr community is most enjoyable?

The community and enthusiasm are really winning me over, and I've been pleasantly surprised by the relative skill of my friends, too!

7) A writing tool/device you use that helps you with writing? (It could be speech to text, a writing program etc)

My Youtube playlists are absolutely required tools for my writing, a lot of the time. Sometimes I can write without them, but boy do they help. Some of them are also related to my D&D campaigns, but I'd like to think all of them are pretty well-curated.

8) A piece of worldbuilding that you like in your own story? (It could be the magic system, a particular place in the story, a law etc)

The Underlighters series' underground city setting is probably one of the coolest things I've ever come up with. I was somewhat inspired by The City of Ember, but that book frustrated me so much that I vowed to write a much better version. Hopefully, I did. I tried to make it reasonably cohesive and somewhat scientifically justifiable.

However, I always tell a story about Underlighters - when I was trying to figure out the pollination situation for crops, I was doing research at about 2 in the morning one day on various pollinators and getting nowhere. Can bees live underground??? Some bees and wasps nest in the dirt, but that's not necessarily helpful. What about solitary bees and pollinators?

Startling my then-boyfriend (now husband) from his game, I threw my arms in the air and yelled, "Fuck it - cave bees!"

And so I decided that underground apiculture was an acceptable solution.

9) What piece of advice would you say to encourage others to write if they are having a rough patch?

Try some different strategies and don't be afraid to rotate between projects. Try writing in point form, using different software, doing voice dictation - it can take a long time to figure out the exact right hacks to make your story flow.

10) Tag some people whose works you love/have been your biggest supporters:

Well, that's easy!

@pinkchaosart @nattheauthor and the chaps above have been wonderful; also tagging (in no particular order): @ventela1 @omokers @nethilia @whalleyrulz @chicorybones @zillanovikov @sabotabby @nic0thecreat0r @chiefwritesbook @eldritch-selachii @holdmyteaplease @koala2all

[desertfangs]

20 Questions for Fic Writers! ✨

Tagged by @nothing-but-paisley - Thank you so much! 💖

1. How many works do you have on A03? 68! One more and I can never post again 😂 (66 of those are VC.)

2. What’s your total A03 word count? 315,352

3. What fandoms do you write for? The Vampire Chronicles. I have a couple of Merlin fics on my profile though, one I'm really proud of and one I lost steam on and never got far.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos? Best Kept Secrets (Merlin), Night Out (my first Lestat/Daniel fic on Ao3), The Mundanity of Mortality, The Vampire Bar, and Series of Birthdays. Basically my oldest fics 😂

5. Do you respond to comments? Always!! Sometimes it takes me a while but I love replying to people who took the time to leave a comment. Every comment is a gift and so very appreciated! 💖

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Probably Turn Me to Dust, which is probably the angiest Devil's Minion fic I've ever written. I struggle with leaving things too angsty at the end though. 🤧 Or maybe In the Midst of Madness.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Most of my fics have a happy ending so that's really hard to pick. I hate leaving them sad okay! It makes me sad.

8. Do you get hate on fics? No, not on AO3 at least and not to my knowledge.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? I do write smut! I enjoy writing how eroticism and intimacy can affect a relationship or how it's used to maybe put off other issues or even be a method of communication between two characters.

Armand and Daniel in particular really fascinate me with their intimate habits because they're so experimental in all ways, and at first it's a mortal and vampire, which is fun to play with. And once Daniel's a vampire, it's fun to explore how that changes how they engage with physical intimacy.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? I do not! Or at least, I haven't yet.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not as far as I'm aware. I sure hope not!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Not to my knowledge.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? I have! A long time ago. It's something I'd love to do again, it can be really fun!

14. What’s your all time favorite ship? Devil's Minion! OTP baby.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? I don't have one published currently that's unfinished (except that Merlin one and I'm probably never getting back to that). I have a few that I've started over the last year or so that may never get completed though.

16. What are your writing strengths? Dialogue! I don't always nail it but it's definitely a skill I'm proud of.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? I'd like to get better at writing evocative descriptions, it's not something I'm great at.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? I could manage some basic back and forth en français but I'm never really comfortable enough to do more than that.

19. First fandom you wrote for? Vampire Chronicles, baby! I wrote my first fic in math class in high school. I was not good at math.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written? Oh gosh, I don't know how to choose. One that I'm exceptionally happy with is Five Times Daniel and Armand Almost Kissed During the Chase Years & One Time They Did.

tagging: @rebel-revenant, @leslutdepointedulac, @aunteat, @kaelio, @cinnamonclove @calipsan, @faerywhimsy and anyone else who wants to do it! And sorry for double tags or if you already posted this and I missed it while I was stuck grinding for capitalism all day.

[allunatory]

@bipbopdepmop Hiya! Hope this doesn't scare you but I'm answering this ask on my minecraft-related art blog LOL

Anyways I have been staring at these asks for the past few days I hope you know that you have a special place in my heart tysm

This is so long, so I'll put it under a readmore- I have a lot to say (And spoilers for anyone who hasn't read Dreams From Within The Cage yet!)

THANK YOU SO MUCH THOUGH!!! AAAA- I'm so glad you enjoyed it!!

AND YES YES!! I have so much I can say.... First of all I have to thank random ambient noise soundtracks for carrying me through the entire fic. Without them, I definitely wouldn't have been able to keep focus for long stretches of time without getting distracted by something.

Fun fact: Fic was not titled until it was time to publish LOL- I was so indecisive

I think my original ambition with the fic when I first started was just writing an Apocalypse AU... but at the same I also wanted to write world-hopping. I was inspired by a comic I had read back when I was in the UTMV (Undertale AU) fandom that explored AUs through way of dreams, and I've been wanting to try my own spin on that for a while so this was the perfect opportunity.

Now the plot wasn't actually supposed to go so crazy, that was mainly me getting extreme brainworms over the concept of an inter-dimensional organization stepping in. Originally, it was going to be mainly exploring the grief that comes with being unable to ever see the one person you feel you connect to most. Having to either accept that fact, or find a way to let go. (Definitely way more depressing, i think)

I was so stuck on the plot for a while, how to wrap it up with everything I'd planned. For a while, I was originally planning to have Grian be the one interrogated, in which he would then hide things from Scar to keep him safe, even going so far as to say they should never talk again. And then the real reason would be revealed when GIGA stepped in.

The way that was set up though, it basically meant all the cool stuff was happening where the readers couldn't see it. So after a long conversation with my good friend @/boxofwasps, I had a stunning revelation on how to swap it around- which is where the fic stands today. I think I remember literally stopping in my tracks and going "Wait. I know how to fix this. I know what I need to do." and Sprinting for my doc to write it down. Imagine me with a cork board and a bunch of red string- that was me putting this fic together

Another fun thing was that, I had so much fun writing the apocalypse world in chapter 1 that I partially wanted to just keep writing that instead of moving on with the plot LOL. I think if I had more time I definitely would have fleshed out some of the AUs they were in, as well as Scar's travels in the waking world and his own lingering trauma

Another fun fact? Me and @/cuteiemonster actually have a whole alternate timeline tree exploring the various ways the plot could have differed if things were just ever so slightly different. There's three main ones, though. Dreams (canon timeline), Nightmares (scar's awful no-good very bad day), and Delusions (grian's awful no-good very bad day) with varying degrees of angst. Please talk to me about them, because I'll likely never write anything about them but I have so many notes.

OKAY AND NOW TO ANSWER THE SECOND PART OF YOUR QUESTION!!!

I'm guessing you're asking about the cage from the hanging cages chapter? I love that scene so much btw there's so much symbolism there.

Every one of the main characters in the fic is stuck in their own cage, in a different way. I think in that chapter in particular, the cages themselves represented the fact that Scar and Grian were both trapped in separate universes. Leaving the cage wasn't an option, there. All they could do was reach across the gap and try to make do that way. Scar fiddling with the bolts of his cage is a show of his motivations and ambitions to escape the confines of his universe to get to Grian, far before he even says it aloud.

Grian stays in his cage because to him, there is no other way out. He's weighed the options, seen the dangers- and even the smallest movements out of line cause the cage to sway. It's just not worth it to try anything different, even if it means being trapped for an eternity...

I AM SO FLATTERED THAT YOU NOT ONLY READ IT BUT RE-READ IT??? HELLO?? I'm sobbing

I am so so so excited to write more for this series, I'm not going to lie. I've been writing notes and gathering ideas for what exactly I want to focus on for a potential sequel. Thanks to help from @/cuteiemonster I have a lot of headcanons for their roommate (yes, roommate) behavior. As well as what they're up to post-fic!

I will say, there is a chance there will be something I put out before the sequel fic- depending on where my motivations lie. I've been thinking about writing the story of Scar's family, and what happened to them. After all, Scar wasn't always alone out there, in the wastelands... Ooh, just thinking about it just makes me excited

The main reason I haven't immediately jumped to write more already is mainly due to school taking up a lot of my time atm! Not to mention I've been getting into a new minecraft server I've been playing in (if you see the art I've been posting to this account LOL), which is basically just every trope I'm obsessed with (Multiversal Purgatory...)

AND!!!! INSPIRATIONS AND STUFF! The anomaly was originally going to be a Creature of uknown origins, but I felt it would be more fun to make it someone with a name and face. Mumbo was a character I've been really interested in writing, so it was a bit of a no-brainer when it came to picking him. Though, it did change things slightly, because the anomaly was originally going to be an irredeemable villain character. But the more I wrote about Mumbo, the more I was like "dude this guy is too wet of a cat to be a villain on purpose" so instead we ended up with the Mumbo in the fic, who's just ever so slightly too casual about world corruption (against his will)

As for universes? I'm going to be honest, pretty much all of the universes in this fic were pretty much straight from my own noggin. I just wrote whatever felt right! There was that Pirate AU with renchanting and navy captain Grian, the Graveyard AU with a groundskeeper Scar and vampire Grian, the Superhero AU with Hotguy and the unnamed villain Grian (who's either named Xelqua or Poultry Man lets be real). A lot of the universes I wrote in-depth about were universes that I would love to write standalone fics of, so this fic itself was partially a collage of various ideas that I may or may not ever write about.

MAN I wrote way more than I was expecting. Tbh I could've written more but I don't want to keep you for TOO long LOL! If you want to talk more about it I'm so chill to chat on discord or through tumblr messaging (im crazy)

Ok one more thing

This snippet from chapter 1 is Lizzie from Empires season 2 okay goodbye

[twotangledsisters]

What do you think were some of the hardest choices to make when writing Two Tangled Sisters (or anything you want to talk about), and which ones just sort of came naturally? Anything that surprised you yourself? Anything you wish you could go back and change? What are you proudest of?

Wow, so many good question!

Okay, hardest choices... The hardest are probably unpublished at the moment, because, well... not every character will survive season three... So far we've only had a very minor character death (RIP Weasel) but there are certainly going to be some that hit harder later in this season.

As for stuff that is actually published... Probably Cass and Caine being a thing! I absolutely love them, but I wasn't sure if anybody else would. And I was very scared that them getting together would end with me losing a lot of readers. I know how people love their ships after all! It's part of why they take such a long time to get together, several whole fics of just them hopelessly flirting and thinking about it. I definitIe had quite a few moments of 'maybe I shouldn't'. But ultimately I did and I'm very glad about that!

Choices that came naturally!

The main one is probably just the family dynamic between Frederic, Arianna, Rapunzel, Cassandra and Eugene. I never really made any difficult choices about the direction it'd go in, everything just sorta of happened.

Cassandra and Eugene fell into their natural state of bickering.

Rapunzel and Cassandra had their sister dynamic.

Arianna made the decision to keep both girls as an official part of the family.

Even Frederic and Cassandra's bond kinda formed on it's own. In fact, I have notes for season 3 written before much of season 1 and it shows Cassandra and Frederic's relationship as A LOT more distance. Showing how I didn't plan or expect them to do so well, they just did! And I'm happy for them.

Anything that surprised me!

Arianna's declaration of 'After years of searching for it's lost princess, Corona now has two!' in the very first Tangled Sisters fic, caught me fully of guard! Changed the entire route of the series in the best way possible though.

Frederic and Cassandra forming the tight bond they did wasn't something I expected until quite far in!

Cassandra and Caine also I didn't see coming until a bit later!

Amaris! Eugene's ancestors who has a tendency to visit him in his dreams also just kinda happened and now she's a recurring character who whenever I write her I adore!

This fic surprised me and catched me off guard all the time! But I think everytime it does I just love the fic even more!

Things I wish I could change?

Well... not much, thankfully! Definitely some missed opportunities. Like I realised the other day while chatting in the comments that Cassandra should have given Lance her book on raising a child and given him a lesson. It would have been adorable and hilarious!

Rapunzel should have told the King of Koto about how Eugene's actually a prince of the Dark Kingdom when he claimed he was nobody to talk to him.

I forgot the fossil exhibition in Vardaros! There was supposed to be a fossil exhibition!

And other small things! But out of the big stuff... I can't think of anything I'd change.

What are you proudest of?

Cassandra and Caine! Probably because I was so nervous, seeing how excited readers are whenever they get a chapter just warms my heart!

Also, New Dream getting engaged before the series ends so they get to refer to each other as fiances for the entire third season! Very important.

And just the development of characters, the way they change and adapt yet still hold pieces of their past... I just feel like the characters change a lot without it ever feeling sudden and that's something I'm very proud of!

Anyway, that's enough rambling from me.

Thank you soooo much for this ask! It was amazing and really got me thinking about the series!! I hope my answers were interesting to you :D

[rivalsforlife]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

I saw this going around a little while ago and wanted to do it myself mostly because it doesn't involve me having to answer about anything I did this year.

1. How many works do you have on A03?

20

2. What's your total A03 word count?

262,994, apparently

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Ace Attorney! I have to admit I've been writing persona 5 fanfic for most of this year but am still undecided on if I actually want to publish that. if I ever finish it.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

A Rose By Any Name (by a margin of like 1000 kudos), Deep Dark Secrets, Childswap, The Catch-Up Game, Love Languages.

I am eternally going to feel a bit bitter that the first one is that high.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I used to respond to them all the time because I love the interactions, but then I started getting burnt out by school and now have such a massive backlog..... so I pretty much never do these days. I'm very sorry and I still read and really appreciate all the comments I get!

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I don't write a lot of angst... and I definitely don't have a tendency to leave things on an angsty note. Maybe Need Not to Need which was in early disbarment era, or Left Behind, Looking Ahead because it's a missing scene in the middle of aai2, and Franziska ends it on the conclusion that she should prepare to not have Edgeworth in her life anymore.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Since I don't write a lot of angsty endings most of them are happy lol. Maybe The Opposing Council's Proposal because it ends on a proposal, which is a pretty happy event.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Nope! Everyone's been really nice.

9. Do you write smut?

Definitely not. It takes me like five minutes to work myself up to writing a kiss. I'm too squeamish about that kind of thing.

10. Do you write crossovers?

No, and I feel like that's not something I'd be very good at doing. There's so much work involved and I haven't had any situations where I feel like characters from different franchises have to meet in order to express some aspect of characterization that they couldn't do otherwise, which would be my main motivation for writing one.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not as far as I'm aware.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes!! Plenty of my fics have been translated into Chinese. I had one person write an entire rec list for my works in Chinese before and was so happy about it.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nope, I feel like I wouldn't be good at this either, I've always been the kind of person who isn't good at playing with others and would want to take control of the whole thing lol.

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

Narumitsu without question. It takes a lot to get me to actively care about romance, much less write it.

15. What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I have a PLvsAA canon divergence fic where everyone stays brainwashed for a much longer time (and Edgeworth also gets brainwashed) that I wish I could finish, but I feel like it's a lost cause at this point. I have an earlier version of that fic which went in a completely different direction and is less than one chapter away from being complete. There's also One Good Narumitsu Story left in me that I've had in my head since 2018, never been able to bring myself to write it, and am not sure if I ever will. I hope I do someday, though.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I think one of my favorite comments I've ever gotten talked about putting effort into developing relationships and characters outside of the main focuses of the fic - Catch-Up Game being an example, even though narumitsu is the focus, I spent some time paying attention to Phoenix's relationships with Trucy, Maya, Iris, and generally tried to make it seem like the characters had their own lives outside of what Phoenix and Edgeworth had going on. That's something I still feel pretty proud of and try to keep up when I can.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

DESCRIPTIONS. I can't describe people very well at all, probably at least partially because my facial recognition skills are atrocious. I can't describe locations or settings, either. I sometimes feel like it becomes far too obvious that I rarely leave the house.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I think it's fine on a one-off but not extensively. Like with Klavier as an example, the occasional Achtung or pet name or whatever is fine, but when it starts to be longer sentences or full conversations I draw the line.

Overall I think the best way to handle it (in a hypothetical conversation between Franziska and Edgeworth, depending on if the POV character is Edgeworth or Phoenix):

a) If the POV character speaks the language (like Edgeworth), doing something like "Franziska switched to German, so Phoenix couldn't overhear. "I am speaking in German, but you are reading it in English.""

b) If the POV character does not speak the language (like Phoenix), saying "Franziska switched to German and started yelling at Edgeworth" makes more sense - when I hear a foreign language, at least, I wouldn't be able to repeat it afterwards, because my brain does not process the words like it would English words, so I don't think it should stay in writing either.

There are practical purposes too: I wouldn't trust google translate to capture any nuance, and don't speak any other languages, so I'd want to find someone who knows the language to translate for me, which can be annoying and inconvenient for them. Also, readability. I don't think a reader should have to open up a new tab to understand your fic, is the point.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Warrior cats!! Way back in 2012 or so.

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

The Catch-Up Game is still my favorite, at least partially because I got so much engagement while posting it that it was a lot of fun to go through comments on it. The narumitsu server talked about it a lot, and I'll forever be bitter that a rogue mod wiped those channels, because it's a really good feeling when something you write can inspire discussion like that. Also, I'm still satisfied with most aspects of that fic on its own - I reread a couple of chapters just the other day and was enjoying myself, which is always a win.

[crowdvscritic]

round up // AUGUST 24

I try not to get too personal here, but this month it’s hard not to reflect when given an outlet. 

This month I turned 32. I celebrated my first year at a job, and I'm months from a completing 10 years of grown-up work. Kyla and I are planning to record our final bits of our Gilmore Girls podcast SO IT’S A SHOW? after seven years. Pending nothing falls through, I’m about to move out of my first home into a new one. And through exactly zero effort on my part, I achieved my dream of becoming an aunt when my first nephew was born.

Because of that little guy and because I’m now the age of Lorelai at the start of Gilmore Girls, I’m thinking about what I would tell my younger self. (I’m also going through my annual Gilmore rewatch at the moment, so forgive me as, like the Gilmores, I can’t help but think about my life through a pop culture lens sometimes. And like Kathleen Kelly, I often ask, “So much of what I see reminds me of something I read in a book, when shouldn't it be the other way around?") When I started Crowd vs. Critic, I was closer to Rory’s age at the start of the series (16), and I identified with her through much through my 20s. I knew one day my responsibilities would look more like Lorelai’s, but I had no idea how much I’d identify with her personality and character arc. I’m sure you’re questioning nature vs. nurture here—is this because I’ve spent more than a decade watching and analyzing the show? Or because the Palladinos and series writers were keen observers of women between the ages of 16 and 32? I imagine it’s a bit of both.

A few things I’d tell my teenage self: 

You won’t leave mean girls behind when you graduate. Even decades later, you’ll be haunted by the moments you crushed others, and your heart will swell remembering people who invited you into the circle.

You’ll figure out how to fix your hair, touch up your makeup, and paint your nails, though by the time you’ve gotten the hang of it all, it won’t feel as important as it does to you now. 

Not that you have everything figured out. You’re still working on body image, finding your voice apart from others, and work-life balance, just to name a few. 

You don’t realize it yet, but you’re an anxious person. Loosening up doesn’t mean you’re slacking, making mistakes doesn’t mean you’re failing. Your life doesn’t look like you expect it will at 32, but you’ve worked to make a lot of it joyful, and I think you’d be proud of a lot of it.

Follow what brings you joy and energy. Trust your taste even if it feels too idiosyncratic or too “girly.” You’ll still love Audrey Hepburn, John Hughes movies, and Taylor Swift when you’re 32 and still growing up now.

Drop what feels like a burden, even if it feels like something you “should��� be interested in. Except for your taxes—definitely do your taxes.

Speaking of taxes, adulting sucks sometimes, but your heart won’t die like you fear it might. Long before 32, you realize you wouldn’t trade the freedom of adulthood or that you like yourself better every year to be 16 again. 

SLEEP. Dear me, if you don’t remember anything else on this list, this one piece of advice will improve every area of life, especially during your freshman year of college.

The rest of this post is going to look much more like a typical Round Up, though I’d be remiss to skip one final reflection. In these 5 years of Round Ups and 12 years of Crowd vs. Critic, I've become a better writer, largely because I just keep doing it and hitting “publish” even when I’m not sure each piece is perfect. (Actually, I’m sure—they’re not perfect.) I’m less generous in my reviewing, though I hope it's because my knowledge of film is deeper and my watching is more adventurous, not because I’m a snob. I haven't tired of the concept of Crowd vs. Critic, either. Who knew I'd still be writing about movies and making pop culture recommendations all because of one afternoon at the theater to see Snow White and the Huntsman?

August Crowd-Pleasers

1. The Paris 2024 Olympics

The ‘lympics are back, baby! After a lackluster pair of games muted by a pandemic, they returned with a vengeance narrated by Snoop Dogg’s dulcet enthusiasm. As I’m not qualified to discuss the athletic performances—though, you know, they seemed pretty good to me—I’ll focus my Olympic Round Up on, yes, the memes.

Trying to capture all of Snoop Dogg’s moments of brilliance would be like trying to funnel all the grains of sand on Earth into a trinket dish, but these are a good start:

“Here Are All the Things Snoop Dogg Is Doing at the Paris Olympics,” complex.com

“Watch Snoop Dogg Freestyle to 'Gin & Juice' While Horse Trots Out for Olympics Event,” EW.com

“Snoop Dogg's Badminton Highlights Are Exactly What the Olympic Sport Needs,” NBC.com 

“Pure Gold: Snoop Dogg’s Best Moments at the Olympics So Far,” RollingStone.com

“Fans Can't Get Enough of Snoop Dogg’s ‘Adorable’ Reaction to Meeting a French Bulldog,” Parade.com

But Snoop Dogg wasn't the only highlight. This was the Olympics of memes: 

“These Memes Are Winning The 2024 Paris Olympics,” forbes.com

“How Paris 2024 Became the Most Memed Olympics Ever,” TheConversation.com

“Tom Cruise(d) Into the Olympics Closing Ceremony,” Esquire.com

“Breakdancing Raygun, Tom Cruise's Closing Ceremony Stunt and the Most Meme-able Moments from the 2024 Paris Olympics,” Yahoo.com

And these are a few more Olympic insights sans memes worth recommending: 

“Inside the Creation of the U.S. Gymnasts’ Paris Olympics Leotards,” WashingtonPost.com

“‘Our Billion-Dollar Olympic Lab’: What NBC Is Taking From Paris to L.A.,” HollywoodReporter.com

“Hosting the Olympics Costs Billions. What Does a City Get Back?” NYTimes.com 

2. Trap (2024)

We need more guys like M. Night Shyamalan who make mainstream movies weirder by just doing whatever they want and not caring if anyone else thinks they're cool. (Baz Luhrmann is also great at this.) Don’t think too hard about the plot mechanics here—just go along for the ride as serial killer Josh Hartnett (cooking!) watches the stadium walls closing in at a concert. Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 7.5/10

3. It Ends With Us (2024)

I didn't know I had 1000 words in me on this weepy, but here I am mentioning Douglas Sirk and Spitgate and 2007's Waitress all in one breath in my review for ZekeFilm. I also did my best to quickly sum up the red carpet drama in my review for KMOV. Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 8/10

4. Honey by Isabel Banta (2024)

Inspired by Ashlee, Backstreet, Britney, Christina, Destiny, Hilary, Lindsay, Jessica, Kelly, Mandy, Mariah, NSYNC, and insert-your-fave-pop-act-of-the-late-‘90s-and-early-‘00s here, Isabel Banta’s debut novel examines how the music industry consumes and destroys young people (especially women) in the pursuit of another Top 40 hit. It’s more salacious than I prefer, but I couldn’t stop thinking about its insight into how women’s bodies are reduced to their elements both for publicity and to be jeered at—you might call it stripping them and selling them for parts. Though women have greater agency on the Billboard charts now than they did 25 years ago, it will make you remember Taylor Swift couldn’t buy back her catalog from Scooter Braun and Sabrina Carpenter getting slammed for love triangle gossip.

5. Double Feature - 2024 Streaming Romances feat. Middle-Aged Women Falling for Famous Men 16 Years Younger Introduced to Them by Their Daughters: The Idea of You + A Family Affair

In romantic drama The Idea of You (Crowd: 8.5 // Critic: 6.5/10), Anne Hathaway falls for a thinly-veiled Harry Styles (Nicholas Galitzine), which would be perfect if her insecurities weren’t making her second-guess every step of their May-December relationship. In romantic comedy A Family Affair (9/10 // 7/10), Nicole Kidman falls for an A-list movie star (Zac Efron), which would be perfect if he wasn’t her daughter’s (Joey King) demanding boss. Idea doesn’t stick to its own plot logic and Affair leans into clichés, but they’re both a good time if you come with an open heart. Both should have been theatrical releases!

MORE AUGUST CROWD-PLEASERS // The Man from U.N.C.L.E. (2015) proves Guy Ritchie can't return to the stylish espionage well too many times // Tommy Boy (1995) is the platonic ideal of a Saturday Night Live cast movie // Why did this rom-com fan wait so long to watch the charming Bridget Jones’s Diary (2001)? // The Secret of Us by Gracie Abrams (2024) shows a promising future for an up-and-coming singer-songwriter // I wonder if we’re all going to agree we slept on the fun action-comedy The Instigators (2024) in a few years

August Critic Picks

1. Sing Sing (2024)

Each year there is one film I dub the Official Ugly Cry of Taylor Blakes Everywhere, and I hope this is it because I don't think I handle another until 2025. (Previous recipients include The Father, The Iron Claw, tick, tick...BOOM!, and Women Talking.) This prison drama made me think of The Shawshank Redemption and One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest. I’m not sure if this will be an all-timer like those, but it’s a good sign we won’t be forgetting Colman Domingo’s incredible lead performance through Awards Season. Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 9.5/10

2. The Hollywood Hack Podcast Series (2024)

Remember when North Korea hacked Sony because of a James Franco/Seth Rogen comedy? This three-part series covers one of the weirdest pop culture moments of my lifetime that I had also almost completely forgotten about. Like all of Brian Raftery’s reporting for The Big Picture, it’s full of thoughtful interviews and analysis on how it paved the way for the next decade of pop culture. 

3. Hollywood Black: The Stars, The Films, The Filmmakers by Donald Bogle (2019)

This book from the Turner Classic Movies library chronicles the history of African-American cinema decade by decade, listing more than 800 films that chronicle the progress and setbacks for Black Hollywood. Bogle tracks evolving stereotypes, career opportunities, and thematic depth starting with the dawn of moving pictures in 1903. All have improved greatly—and the book ends on an optimistic note with its publication just after Black Panther, Get Out, and Moonlight—but a book like this provides phenomenal context for issues and criticisms we still discuss today. Another must-read from TCM!

4. Double Feature - Hollywood Black Recommendations: Stormy Weather (1943) + To Sir, With Love (1967)

I have a lot of titles left to watch mentioned in Hollywood Black, but I’m glad I prioritized these two before they expired on my DVR. In Stormy Weather (Crowd: 7/10 // Critic: 8/10), Lena Horne and Bill “Bojangles” Robinson fall in and out of love as they pack in the musical performances with major Black performers of the day (like Fats Waller and the Nicholas Brothers). In To Sir, With Love (8.5/10 // 8.5/10), Sidney Poitier wrangles a rambunctious classroom of London teenagers, inspiring them to treat others (and themselves) with respect. Both are susceptible to corny genre motifs, but their lead performances are radiant. 

5. Double Wedding (1937)

Because Myrna Loy and William Powell are still chemistry GOATs! As per usual, Powell and Loy are meant to be in this romantic comedy, but first they have to restore her sister’s (Florence Rice) relationship with a mild-mannered nice guy (John Beal) after she decides she’d rather be with the caddish, charming Powell. An underrated ‘30s screwball rom-com! Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 8.5/10

MORE AUGUST CRITIC PICKS // Even a lesser Fred Astaire/Ginger Rogers feature like Follow the Fleet (1936) is filled with phenomenal dance sequences // Even a lesser sequel like Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga (2024) is filled with phenomenal stunt work // Even a lesser version of The Thin Man like Star of Midnight (1935) is filled with wit when William Powell is paired with Ginger Rogers

Also in August…

In our (probably) penultimate episode SO IT’S A SHOW?, Kyla and I researched the inspiration for Rory Gilmore’s journalistic aspirations, Christiane Amanpour. And to do this research, we go to the most important primary sources we could find: sub-par Hollywood sequels! What inspired Amanpour to become a journalist? Is she a good role model for Rory? And what did she think of the Gilmore Girls revival on Netflix? Listen to ep. 142 to find out.

I stopped by KMOV for a Fall Preview to share four September and October films I’m excited for: 

Photo credits: Olympics, Honey, Hollywood Hack, Hollywood Black. All others IMDb.com.

[halflingkima]

Slumpy First Chapter Test

I have not been reading. Moreover, I have not been liking what I'm reading. My average rating has been sub-2 stars all year. I want to fix this not so I read more, but so I can read books I really want to without my bad mood affecting the experience. It's been going so badly that I'm gonna start tracking my DNFs. I know I've put down at least 20 books in the last couple months bc they weren't working and ironically I feel like that's part of the mood. So I'm gonna track how far I get and where I stop (esp now that storygraph doesn't count them as 'unrated' or 'books read' anymore) so that i get a better view of how much i'm actually reading vs only what i finish.

as typical in my slumpy flailing, i panic-checked-out a lotta library books so here's what i'm currently reading, how i feel about it, and impressions of the first chapter of all the books currently staring at me.

Currently Reading

Spell Bound by FT Lukens: An author I usually like, especially when I'm slumpy or not really in the mood to read or focus. Much like TJ Klune where the writing style is a little too.. simple? to ever really get more than a 3 star, but I typically love their characters and plots and the fantasy worlds they build, but for some reason this one is simply Not Hitting. Something about too few characters, mainly single POV, and the love interests not having much interaction at the 100-ish page mark isn't working for me. Think this might be a DNF tbh but isn't yet.

Speculative Fiction for Dreamers Anthology: Heavy literary-style anthology. I picked this up to maybe cure a slump with easy one-off short stories, but they're all so dense that it's having the opposite effect. I'm also not liking a large portion of the stories – I think the subject is too broad/vague to work as a coherent collection for me. It makes a much better textbook. I'm gonna finish it, but probably even slower than I have been.

Here We Go Again by Alison Cochrun: This one's dicey bc it's definitely a 5-star for me, but I put it down at a point of Overwhelm in the story (it was so good and happy and I wanted to stay in that spot for a bit) but then the slump struck and I don't want my poor reading mood to negatively affect what so far has been a nearly perfect story.

Palace Project

Vampires Never Get Old Anthology: I have the audiobook and my headphones have gone missing so that's an issue. I only read the front material and a small bit of the first story, but it's promising! the audiobook has good production, thank god – i hated the narrator for the intro (she was pronouncing stuff weird??) but each story is narrated individually, and I love that in an audiobook, especially a collection from multiple authors. the first story is by tessa gratton, so idk if it's the topic or her writing (since i tend to like her short stories) that has given me hope for this one.

The September House by Carissa Orlando: I liked the prologue, it was very readable. It set up a character voice and a full backstory very efficiently and got me excited for the story to come. idk if I'd be excited about phyiscally reading it, but it sounds like a stellar audiobook option.

Thorn by Anna Burke: For some reason this sounds very familiar. I wonder if I read an ebook sample or a preview somewhere. It feels very much like something someone maybe posted here circa 2014 as an interest check and now has finally gotten it published. i'm not exactly a fairytale retelling fan, and it very much reads as such, but I'm intrigued enough to continue. I don't think it's a slump cure, though, it seems a smidge too dark for that. but i do like drama – i think it'll depend on the style and amount of romance tbh.

Libby

New Adult by Timothy Janovsky: A reliable author that i'm tempted to crack the seal on. Like FT Lukens, he's kinda a reliable 3-star writing style, but i have had a 5 star and I dont have many more books of his to save for rainy days. This first chapter seems par for the course and i'm intrigued by the sliding doors/midnight library/life choices concept. i think it's gonna be the In Case Of Emergency on this list - if all else here fails, i'll crack that spine.

The Secret Lives of Country Gentlemen by KJ Charles: idk if i get kj charles and cat sebastian's writing styles confused just bc they're kinda the only regency m/m i read or if theyre actually that similar. this chapter was a great example of why i do prefer cat sebastian just a smidge – this opening chapter was a little abrasive and fast-paced with some immediate character conflict while i'd prefer to slowly adjust to a book. regardless, it does seem promising.

Afterlove by Tanya Byrne: This was very interesting. Again had a fairytale retelling tone, but isn't a retelling in content. I'm intrigued by the worldbuilding here. I knew it was a post-death teen romance but the way it's introduced still fascinated me. tbh I'm looking forward to the plot more than the romance per se.

Sutphin Boulevard by Santino Hassell: Like Thorn, this one also feels. weirdly familiar?? but more recent. I did probably read the libby sample at one point when I was really short on gay romances and reading it again, I remember why I put it down. It starts off real um. Intense. and kinda escalates from there. I might give this one a chance though, since the prose itself isn't insufferable. it's way too long to be simply erotica so I guess i'm curious where things go after a threesome in the first chapter.

Hoopla

Delay of Game by Ari Baran: much like kd casey's unwritten rules series, this has become my favorite reading-in-progress sports romance series. i'm a little afraid to burn the last remaining book (so far) on a slump break, but it has been a long slump. this first chapter launches into the past which is a little weird to contend with since the leads were attached-at-the-hip bffs in the previous book. ironically kd casey did that too. either way, i'm intrigued and locked in. but i hope i can save this till i can figure out how to get ahold of the third ebook.

Physical Library Books

The Stars and the Blackness Between Them by Junauda Petrus: it starts off with a poem and a first person dialect that tells me 1) i'm probably gonna love it 2) it may break me and 3) it requires some solid focus and immersion. I don't think i'm gonna pick this one up very soon, but i'm now much more sure that i will pick it up at some point.

Why Women Have Better Sex Under Socialism by Kristen Ghodsee: I've only read the author's note, but it's surprisingly conversational/readable for a nonfiction text, especially on such a dense subject. I tried the audiobook a while ago and the narrator's accent like uhh repulsed me, i have no clue why. I'll definitely keep reading, but perhaps slowly. Unlikely that a physical nonfic would cure a slump, but idk maybe it'll shake up my routine enough to jolt it back into place.

The Written World and the Unwritten World by Italo Calvino: These are supposedly essays, but from the first one i got more of a satirical, meandering creative nonfiction think piece vibe. the structure is much more like a story than an essay, and the style reminds me of mark twain's nonfiction. i can see myself dnfing in the future, but i'll give it a shot for now.

[look-at-the-soul]

Hi! It's gossip girl!! ❤️First off I'm so sorry it's taken so long for me to respond back! I saw this a bit earlier I was honestly going through a bout of anxiety when I did see it, and then I just haven't had time to sit down and respond to this all at once!! But I hope you're doing well! This is for the first of the responses you posted! I am on summer break now. I have been for a few weeks but I was moving back home and then getting set up at a summer job that keeps me busy most of the day now! It's fun though! I'm really enjoying it! ❤️❤️❤️

And so for that idea we've been talking about I'm definitely finished with it and it sitting in my drafts with about 6 other ideas I need to publish😂 I'm still just waiting for the right time. I think I'm just really nervous about posting it because of the nature in the fic. 😅 And I'm sure that I'll post it and then immediately find three more grammar errors and be unable to fix them because tumblr is stupid😂😅

And I do the same thing with word count or at least I try😂 I'll look at old parts and try to make my word count meet that but then when I'm writing I'll lose track or I will just keep going until I feel like the story is over! And I really like that motto! 🥰🥰🥰

But yeah, the ideas not posted yet, but I have made a few other things I ended up putting ahead for that story😅😅people seem to like them well enough! And I'm happy with them all so...😉

And back to that idea for what reasons could he could have for what he did, I promise if you read it it'll make sense! I think it comes not from a man who's been physically hurt himself, but one who's been hurt through someone else's pain if that makes sense?

And I have written more ideas but I haven't finished half of them😅😅 and yes that's exactly it "focus the main idea over another character" that's honestly what I do with a good number of my ideas, or so I feel like that's how they go! And yes! Thank you for the tip! I have noticed that about not all posts showing up in a dashboard and stuff! I think in my case too I sometimes end up posting right in the middle of when everyone else is posting stuff to so I've noticed things get lost then too. Especially if I haven't been on tumblr all day and there are 67+ new things on my dashboard😅

And yes i think I want to send that story on a possible cliffhanger! So if people do actually like it enough and they maybe want more I can lead in to it, but also it can be read as a stand-alone to! And it think this one I could maybe make into a mini series, but honestly I have like three or four other stories I already need to finish the sequels or next parts too, so I think this actually may be one I see how much people like before I start another part 😅😅

And yeah!! I'm glad the Photoshoot series is going well and Look at the Soul too!🥰🥰🥰 And I hope all your other writing is going well too🥰🥰 Don't worry! I believe you can do it🥰🥰🥰 

"Tommy with a water gun?"" Wait which one was that? I think I missed that one, but I already know that's an idea I'd love to see! I did see your blurb about Tommy when Alfie becomes his daughter's godfather 😂😂😂 I adored that one!

Once again I'm so sorry it took me so long to get back to this! I'm going to try to get to the other one by tonight or tomorrow hopefully!! I have bits of that one started too but still need to do the whole thing!

And ohh I haven't seen Heart of the Sea (it's not super my type of movie😅) but I have seen the interviews with Tom Holland and Cillian and love them😂 I kept seeing the clip where the interviewer asks who they'd eat from the cast if they really were stranded on an island😂

And I hope seeing your friend went well!!🥰🥰🥰

It's good that's it's done now, but now if got my summer job, which isn't too bad but it's still long😅

And YES!!!! I did see those photos 🥰🥰🥰🤭🤭 and they were glorious!!! 

Hope you're having a great week too! ❤️❤️ xoxo GG

Gg! Hello again 😊

No please never apologize for taking long to reply as I’m the worst at it 🙈

Oh no dear, what happened? Is everything better now? I hope it is, you know you can always reach out to my inbox, I know you prefer to keep this under anon, but maybe you can make a side blog if you think a chat could help you ❤️‍🩹

Hope your summer break has been good! Have you had the time to write during your break from school? Either way I hope your time has been amazing! Ah being back home is always great 😊 and hopefully the summer job is going good? Are you having a good time? 💖

Oh I really hope you get to post that story, it was so interesting and eye-catching! Look you can always do this; open your drafts, place the mouse over the post button and close your eyes when you click 🤭 no, just kidding I’m sure you’ll do it at your own time, when you think it’s right… ahh so true about the grammar mistakes it’s like they turn into capital letters in color red once you post it right?

I love it when a part makes me forget about the word count, like I get lost in the chapter and let the words flow freely, it’s a great feeling! 🥰🥰

Oww I wonder if I’ve read your posts! Idk because you’ve been hiding so well GG 🕵🏻‍♀️ you’re like Sherlock! I need to catch up on my reading and sometimes I don’t see a post in my dash but days later someone else reblogs a story and I save it in my ♥️ to read later. But I’m sure you have done a wonderful job!!! And I’m looking forward to see what else you create!

I think you’re leaving little clues 🕵🏻‍♀️ and hints and I honestly would love to see it (are you in some marketing department? You really know how to leaving hanging in there, wanting to know more! But pain really does change people…

I’m happy to hear that! You know sometimes I feel frustrated with the WIP list I have in my drafts, wish I could write faster… but there are days when I simply don’t have the energy to pour my soul and heart into a chapter I’m just so so tired (is it a consequence from covid? The endless tiredness because I’ve never felt it before..) anyways I do try my best but words won’t come out sometimes so I just start reading instead haha yeah!!! It either gets lost between so many posts or for different time zone and people are sleeping so that’s why reblogs are so important! I’ve found some great stories like that.

See? You know how to seek things! I love the idea of the part ending in a cliffhanger! So clever! And that will definitely make us readers want to know more, like: “nooo! And then what?!” 👀

Haha true! It happens you already have ideas but there’s a queue of four others WIP you already started! 🤣 I need to finish my Lenny series because I have an idea for a Tommy series.. it’s an endless cycle haha

Thank you! I honestly adore those two Cillian series, they’re so close to my heart ♥️ and it makes me so happy to imagine new adventures for them… I already have the idea for the next part of the photoshoot and I did a little summary for the next 6-7 parts for Look at the soul(the hardest part is finding the right song that fits the chapter haha) but your lovely words means so much to me! 💕✨

Yes the water gun was a fun idea to write, it was early summer days and the thought of Tommy with one was so tempting it’s this story “ xx” Oww that little story had been in my drafts for so long! Until I found it was so fitting to add to the idea (I have another Tommy x Alfie endless war, I can’t honestly have enough of them and their endless teasing).

No, it should be me apologizing for taking so long to answer, days are going so fast! 🤔

I will try to answer your other message these days but this week is going to be full (I’m catching up with my friends and we’re celebrating an engagement party later) so I will be more likely to type bits here and there and over the weekend send the response so please don’t worry 🥰

Really? I used to think the same so never saw it when it came out, I only watched it because Cillian was in it and I have to admit it was really good! Loved the historical background and of course, Cillian’s character (I will be posting about it in the Photoshoot later).. hahahahahh that video is hilarious! Cillian is so serious when he says he wouldn’t be picky or I think he used the word fussy -and I believed him!) 🤣🤭 did you notice the little earring? I’m obsessed with it!

Oh that was amazing! She’s a great person 🌷

Best of luck on your summer job!!! Hope you have a good time but also have some rest you will need it to go back to study again… 🙂🙂 is it related to your career or something totally different?

Did you see Oppenheimer yet? I loved the promo they did!!! Lots of Cill content!

And a little about my trip: avoid Vegas during the F1 changes, the strip is a mess plus it is so hot! Everything was melting, there are a lot of shows amazing but I do enjoy the free stuff in the hotels like the Wynn and Bellagio season display. We also did the Titanic exhibition (I definitely recommend it), I like it because it’s pet, kids and wheelchair friendly - I saw a couple carrying a dog in a little wagon so cute!), great food for all budgets, bring comfort pair of shoes and you can walk or use the deuce for the entire Strip, would love to take the Great canyon helicopter ride one day, and it’s great you can stay up late and everything is open 😅 Adele show is beyond words, amazing, brilliant, everything I dreamed of! 🥰

I hope your week will be amazing! Sending you a big big hug and I wish you your anxiety will be at bay these days ❤️‍🩹 (and always) remember you’re not alone xx

Lots of love, M.✨

[moonyslove78]

It's the last of the reblogs for this volume and I wanna scream and cry and have someone hold me! 😭 I'm just gonna go right into it, because if I don't I'm going to just spend the next hour bowing down to you in verbal compliments and I wanna save that for the end of this. Soooo, here we go! 😬😫

🕷️🕸️SUGAR & VICE EPILOGUE SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT!🕸️🕷️

When I saw this, my heart dropped. 👀💔 It's been 4 months, Peter?! What are you doing??? 😭

There you go again, placing me right in the scene! I swear, you and Katie could make the most complex worlds come to life in my mind and I am blown away every time!

This is adorable! I love that she's such an amazing Auntie that she's always constantly thinking of things that would be good for Bella. I'm gonna be a goner if/when her and Peter have children! But for now I'll settle for doting Aunt & Uncle. Also, I snorted at that "personal opinion" line. 😂😂

I'm just going to include my reaction via @blooming-violets' DMs. 😂

So, yeah, I was basically freaking out at that point. 😅

My live reaction while reading this was exactly what Honey was feeling! 👀 I was so excited and relieved but at the same time I wanted to punch him for leaving he for 4 months alone and hurting. At least she had her good days! 🥲 Also, going beardless again, eh Peter? 😉 Worried that when you got her back (cause let's face it, he knew he was getting her back one way or another 😂) he didn't want to leave burns on her thighs? Cause we know that Honey doesn't mind the beard burns! 😏

YES!!! We are MAD at you, Mister! You better have some good explanations! I can't lie, though deep down I was hoping for a joyous reunion, I'd have definitely wanted it to go just as it did. Make the man sweat a little bit. I love how he held his breath until she responded. It really showed his vulnerability in that moment, where he could lose so much more depending on how she reacts to his request.

God your ability to reach into a scene and manipulate the emotions in your words and descriptions is absolutely breathtaking! Never have I ever, had to stop and think about the tone of a scene when reading this series. It always comes so seamlessly and effortlessly because of how talented your storytelling abilities are! The pain she felt just glancing his way is described flawlessly and in such a unique way, I just want to cry and hug her and tell her everythings going to be okay now.... And I love it!😍

I have never heard a more accurate depiction of someone. "The persistent paradox." It's so poetic and to the point. And literally everything after that just cements the idea. And the part about how he's like the sun conjuring every color of the rainbow out of drops of rain. ??????? Like what the hell, Liz?! This belongs in a published book! You don't get writing like this for free and certainly not often, even when you're paying for it! It's outrageous how beautifully this was written!

And then Peter and Kacie can breathe normally again! 😮‍💨😮‍💨 I was holding my breath right along with him. And was extremely nervous that she was going to counter with "It's taken..." Or something like that. When I say I was biting my nails and pacing while reading, I'm literally not exaggerating. 😅👀

OMGosh!! Our girl's thinking about going back to school!! 😍👏🏼 Good for her!! And I love that you threw in the Interior Design part, because if I remember correctly, you had mentioned in a previous "Answer" to an "Ask" about what their world would've looked like had they not been in a Mob universe, that you thought maybe she'd have gone to school for Interior Design. And I don't know why but I obsessed over that for weeks! Like, what if Honey just decided to go back anyways, then she could be the one to design their first home! 🥲😭 Hense where the imagine of them in the walk in shower with her washing him with his cedar and cinnamon soap and then massaging him with the lotion, came into play! In my mind, she had designed that house herself (with a little help from Mr. Parker in some areas) when he told her he was having it built after she found out she was pregnant with their first child. And just the fact that you added this little tid bit of "I'm thinking about apply for a grant in the fall." just made my day! It's like my fruition is coming to pass and I am living for it! 👀

I love this man. I can't help it. How can you not?! He's so fucking cute!! 😍❤️ And I absolutely adore how you brought them full circle. (Which I'll discuss more in the next portion below 😂)

I got a lotta misty eyed reading this... 🥺 The parallels from the beginning to end are impeccable! I love how they're two totally different people from the start of this till the present and yet, they're sharing a similar conversation with such different meanings now. The "Just black coffee. Bitter. With extra sadness." is what really got me and hit deep within. This little 30 second interaction between them was what gave me the hope that they would be okay. Well, that and the fact that he couldn't quit staring at her with heart eyes and she was looking at him like he held the sun, the moon and the stars in his hands, yet she knew they were all for her. It's fucking beautiful and I couldn't have asked for a better reuniting conversation. 🥰

Annnnnnnnd, I'm bawling.... 😭😭😭 First of all, the "Mari," was killer and I can't lie, I still wanna hear him call her that, or Mar... or even if he uses "Maricella" in the middle of a disagreement, I would be ecstatic. (IE: "It doesn't matter how much you beg, or bribe me with favors, Maricella... we are not going kayaking when you're 4 months pregnant!") And why are all of my imagines including her pregnant? I think I just really wanna see Mob Daddy Peter & Mommy Honey. 🥺🥰😅

Second, I'm grinning like a fool at the "But my friends call me 'Honey'." And his reaction made my heart flutter and melt into a puddle! 🥰❤️

😭🥺😍

So many emotions in one small section of words! The "I missed you" simultaneously ripped my still beating heart from my chest, crushed it and then mended it, kissed it better and gently placed it back. I'm not sure why those 3 little word hit me so hard? Maybe because I don't think I ever remember him saying that to her throughout the entirety of the series, even though there were time he was away from her for days, or even weeks at a time. And though we know he missed her then too, hearing it and knowing it are completely different. So that would be my guess, but either way, I'm melting!! And then it broke a little again when she replied. 🥺 Again, knowing and actually hearing that he hurt her... to take from Peter's earlier conversation with Frank, it just hits different. And I'm so glad he's there now, trying to repair what he damaged.

I didn't add the screenshot but his apology for hurting her but admission that he regretted not one moment they spent together or did together, even if it meant having to do what he did to get her out of any trouble... was so heartwarming and perfect... If I was Honey, I'd probably have a hard time not accepting and just jumping him right there in the park. 😅 But that's just me, obviously our girl has more self respect and control than I do. 😂 But then, the request is made! And I screamed, jumped up and down squealing like a school girl who's crush just asked her to prom. I love how he starts it off with "If it doesn't sound too forward," as if they really were just meeting for the first time. And the way he asks for her to come home with him! Where our girl belongs! With him in their home! 🥺 Fuck! I'm crying again! 😭

👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

YES!!! Yes yes yes yes yes yes yessss!!! 😮‍💨 (Sorry, had a mini-freakout)

OMG! Where do I start with this?! "I'll take it," - "The rest of your life." - "Sweet girl, you are my life." - It's all so fucking perfect! I couldn't have asked for better! (Except, if she lost all of that self control I praised her for earlier and actually jumped him in the middle of the park, then maybe... 😂😂) I just love these two so damn much and I don't know what I'd have done if it didn't end on this high note for them. I'm sure you'd have still done it flawlessly and I still would've loved every second of pain you would've brought with it, but I cannot lie, I am SOOOO glad it didn't come to that! I will be having all the steamy hot head cannons I can about their arrival home. 🥰👀

Yes, yes she does! She's running to pack her stuff right now!

🏝️🍹🎉Hawai'i here we come!!! 🥳🍾🥂

This was such an amazing ending to volume 1! With soooooo many possibilities for what their future holds! But whatever that may be, I hope it's long, happy, exciting but drama-free (well, maybe a little drama, because it IS Peter & Honey), full of love and passion, a beautiful marriage and lots of children (or just a couple, whatever they want) who have Honey's smile and Peter's brown doe eyes and both of their determination and will-power. Oh and of course, lots of doting on Bella & their sisters, because that's all I could ever wish for them. They've been through so much, they deserve to have that happiness they've found in each other! And I'm so in love with their love! 🥰

Nooooooooo!!! It's finished! I'm not ready!! 😭

I wanna cry right now because it's like the end of an era. The final episode to my favorite tv show. The emotions are definitely high! And though I cannot WAIT to see what you have in store for us in the future, I still feel like the closing of this volume is such a bittersweet moment.

I've said it before and I'll say it a million times over... You are beyond incredible and so fucking talented at everything you do! I've yet to praise your graphics work, so I'm gonna throw that in here too. There's not one banner that I didn't love and obsess over and save to a personalized Sugar & Vice photo album. And every one of them depicted the chapter ahead so effortlessly! I'm still amazed by all of them and love how you still managed to make them a cohesive unit, to where if you placed them all together, they all work together and with the story!

Your talents are endless and you simply should be getting paid for this. And not just in the way of memberships or donations. We should be paying to read your masterpieces as if they were books in a book store. The hard work, determination and heart that has went into every single one of these chapters is something I will never take for granted. And this series has pulled me through some rough and depressing times. So even more so because of that, it will live in my heart and mind forever. I don't see a time where I won't be referencing or thinking back to Sugar and Vice.

Thank you for bringing this series and these versions of the characters into our lives and allowing us to enjoy them with you. For having the drive to write such a complex series and doing so with grace and precision. After finishing this volume, I just want to crawl into your mind and live for a while so I can have all the ins and outs of it! Because you're brilliant and I can't get enough of your work! 💕

You're amazing and I love you and will be here to support you through every part of your journey from here on! ❤️🖤

sugar and vice - epilogue

[continued from Part 23]

FOUR MONTHS LATER

Ice clinked against the stainless steel of her coffee tumbler like hollow wind chimes. She brought the pastel pink container to her lips, taking a careful sip. She’d already spilled some of it in her lap, and now brown spots dotted the yellow of her dress. Carefully, she set the tumbler down beside her, taking a moment to glance up at the scenery around her.

It was a golden-yellow summer day with a cloudless sky, save for the smog hanging over the city. Despite last week’s heat wave, the temperature was more moderate today, giving New York a much-needed break. From a bench in Central Park, she sat beneath the canopy of towering oak trees. A breeze rolled through that chilled her skin delightfully, aided by the icy beverage in her cup.

Nearby, a flock of pigeons scavenged for crumbs. On this particular Saturday, construction sounds were minor, reduced to distant echoes. The bright sounds of a street musician’s violin floated on the wind from nearby in the park. She heard a whistle from a group of children in the distance as they practiced soccer kicks. 

Soccer would be good for Bella, she thought. The seven-year-old girl had tons of energy and legs that were longer than she knew what to do with. Ever since the Olympics and watching Space Jam: A New Legacy, Bella had been obsessed with becoming the next WNBA champion. She described LeBron’s performance as a masterpiece. 

Her aunt knew better than to let her personal opinion spoil the girl’s fun.

That had been a good day. Today was a good day. She mused to herself as she took a breath. She was aware of the fact that the day wasn’t technically over. And perhaps there wasn’t anything particularly different from yesterday. But as her muscles relaxed beneath warm rays of sun on her shoulders, she found peace.

“Mind if I sit here?” a kind voice said from behind her. The muscles in her neck pulled taut. Her heart seized up and tripped over itself.

She glanced over her shoulder to find a pair of doe eyes fixed on her. Cherry lips twisted into a lopsided smile. 

Impossibly, Peter Parker looked younger than the last time she saw him. The only sign of age in his creamy smooth skin were tiny lines at the corners of his eyes, and a faint pink scar blending with the wrinkles above his brow.

Without the beard, he looked criminally soft. Big, bright amber eyes were fixated on her in a way that made her heart want to burst. She felt like she was floating in space and plummeting through the atmosphere. 

At the same time, the primal part of her brain screamed out shrill sirens. Just the sight of him and his soulful eyes felt like she was tearing off a broken limb. Watching as his teeth pinched his pouty lip gave her the sensation of ripping apart nerve endings. Her stomach soured as her heart ached. 

Beneath the heart, lava boiled in her belly. Her eyes were open wide, they could even be mistaken for shock. It wasn’t shock, however, but sheer rage burned in her eyes. 

Peter Parker, the persistent paradox. 

The only man that could stir every emotion in her, like the sun conjures every color of the rainbow out of drops of rain. He painted her world in vivid colors, and yet she was colorblind to everything but the golden hue of his eyes.

Peter Parker, who could make her feel stronger and weaker all at once.

She burned for him, in every sense of the phrase.

And at the present, he was holding his breath, waiting for her reply. She gazed up at him as emotions warred within her. He waited patiently, ready to accept whatever fate she thought he deserved.

She pursed both her lips tight, eyes narrowing. “I’ll allow it,” she said. 

His lungs came to life once again, as if he’d been spared the guillotine. Gently, Peter rounded the park bench and sat down in the spot to her right. She kept her nose forward, eyes focused on anything but him.

“Whatcha reading?” he asked gently, gazing down at the pamphlet in her lap.

She bit her lip, hesitating for a moment. “A brochure.”

He observed the glossy tri-fold sheet with a nod. “I see that.” Instantly, he recognized the pictures and logo on the pamphlet, recalling how he once read the same words. “ESU, huh?” he noted with a half smirk, observing the ivory towers of the campus nestled in Midtown Manhattan. “Thinkin’ about classes?” He bit his lip anxiously. “What d’you wanna study?”

She held still, remaining silent as she stared down at the brochure. She wouldn’t meet his gaze, and it felt like razors being shoved into his eye sockets. 

“Dunno,” she answered with a gentle shrug. “Interior Design, maybe.” She cleared her throat and spoke with a little more volume. “Thinkin’ about applying for a grant for this fall.”

A smile warmed his eyes, though melancholy weighed down the corners of his lips. “What’s in the cup?” he asked, pointing his nose towards her coffee tumbler.

Lashes fluttered, she followed the end of his fingertip down to her beverage, almost having forgotten that it was there. “Oh,” she said meekly. “It’s a Mauna Kea.”

Peter quirked up a brow. “A what-ya-saya?”

She pinched her lower lip between her teeth to keep it from curving. “Mauna Kea,” she repeated slowly, enunciating the syllables. “Means ‘White Mountain’ in Hawaiian.” She hesitated for a moment, licking her dry lips. “It’s the name of the tallest mountain on Earth,” she declared, mustering confidence, “from peak to summit.”

A crease formed in Peter’s brow. “I thought Everest was the tallest mountain?”

“Tallest by altitude,” she divulged with pride. “Mauna Kea is bigger.” She flicked her eyes over to his and was immediately captured by his soulful gaze.

“No joke?” he replied with a thousand-watt smile and rosy cheeks. 

“Yup,” he answered, as butterflies filled her belly.

He gazed at her as if he were witnessing the sunrise for the first time. “So, you’re drinkin’ a ‘White Mountain?’”

Her heart skipped a beat. “It’s a cold brew. Blended with honey, macadamia milk and ice, topped with coconut milk foam.” She intended to look down at her cup. Or at the pedestrians. Or the trees. Or the sun. She intended to look anywhere but at him. She really tried. “I made it myself,” she said, feeling heat crawl up her neck.

His eyes glowed, further enamored by her mere existence. “Wow. All this time, all I’ve been drinking is black coffee.” A smile glinted in his expression while his blush gave him away. “Just black coffee. Bitter. With extra sadness.”

She fought the smile her lips formed. “That’s a shame.”

“It is. People tell me I should take more risks, though. Go out on a limb.” His eyes wandered across the park before shifting back over to her. “I’m Peter, by the way. Peter Parker.” He chewed on his lower lip for a moment, and in his eyes she could spot his trepidation. If he looked young to her before, now he looked like a blushing boy asking his crush to prom. He gazed at her with the same terror, his heart in his throat and on his sleeve. “What’s your name?”

A fire burned bittersweetly in her heart as tears burned behind her eyes. She gazed at him, feeling her emotions swell. “Mari,” she answered, truthfully. She studied the bourbon and topaz facets of his irises and the lovely curve of his cupid’s bow. “But all my friends call me ‘Honey.’” 

Peter’s lip trembled at that, eyes glistening despite his attempt to control it. “Honey,” he repeated with a murmur, as if chanting a prayer, or a protection spell. As if it was the answer to everything in the universe. In his universe, at least. “It suits you.”

A bittersweet smile warmed his features as he gazed at her, lost in the universe and freefalling towards her singularity. Her eyes went glossy as she mapped the pores, freckles, and scars on his face like the constellations in the sky.

“I missed you,” he said, endearingly.

Her heart throbbed at the pain in his voice. “I know.” She licked her lips, sadness filling her expression. “You hurt me,” she said somberly.

With misty, red eyes, he whispered back, “I know.” He swallowed hard, tears swimming in his gaze. “I’m sorry for that. M’sorry for a lot of things. But I don’t regret a single moment.” 

Eyes glistening, a warm smile overtook her features, lighting up her gaze. She nodded in silent reply.

The sight of it made him want to die of joy. “If it doesn’t sound too forward,” he began gently, speaking with measured formality, “I was gonna ask you to come home with me.”

Home, he said. The significance of the word wasn’t lost on her. A tear rolled down her cheek, sliding along the curve of her grin. “Already?” she breathed out a laugh. “Geez. That was fast.”

His smile faded; he melted into enraptured awe. “No,” he whispered, eyes glowing with admiration. He leaned forward, breaking the invisible barriers between them. Her eyes fluttered shut as his calloused fingers brushed over her jaw, triggering a shiver down her spine. “I’ve waited years for you, remember?” he quietly rumbled. “I’ll keep waiting. For the rest of my life, if I have to.”

The sweetness of it all made her dizzy. It made her feel like her heart had spilled open and she would bleed out on the grass. “I’ll take it,” she sniffed, as Peter thumbed the tears from her cheeks.

“Take what?”

“The rest of your life.” 

He melted in her gaze, staring down at her lips. “Sweet girl. You are my life.”

Without hesitation, she leaned forward and pressed her lips to his. The sensation made her heart flutter, her mind soar, and her brain sizzle. It made her wounds heal and her soul sing. It made life worth living. It made hope real.

When they parted from the kiss, they were breathless and dizzy, hearts thrumming together in sync.

The honey hues of his chestnut eyes were fixed on hers. “So,” he said, thoughtfully. “Mauna Kea. Ever see it up close?”

She smirked. “Nope. Never been to Hawai’i.”

“Me neither,” Peter shrugged, his eyes alight with life. “Wanna change that?” 

End of Volume 1

A Note From Your Storyteller:

Whew. That was long.

I can't believe this has come to an end. Before I began writing, I was skeptical about this story, but honestly I could've never anticipated or expected the overwhelming support and love that I've gotten. People have made art from my art. They have showered me with gifts for my gift. If you'd say any gift is an expression of love, then gifted art is the ultimate expression of devotion. I love that you care about my characters, and about me!

What's next?

Good question. I've been at odds with this answer, and now it feels like I really need to commit to a path. My imagination is full of many more places that Honey and Peter can go. I could probably write 2-3 novels about these two with all of the effort I put into making these characters come to life. Realistically, I'm a mom with a baby, and I'm about to be a one-person band for the next few months. I'm excited to share these stories, but I'm not sure when or how, or even what that will look like.

The best thing you can do to interact with me is to keep your eyes on my updates from my Ko-fi page! I'm hoping to allow that to become a place where the S&V 'fandom' (wtf that sounds so weird what happened what is this life I am not worthy) can gather and where I can share updates.

In addition to S&V-related news, I'm going to post writing tips, best storytelling practices, AMAs, my favorite fics of the week, answer questions, and maybe even offer commissions. Keep in mind, none of this will be gatekeeped (gate-kept?) or behind a paywall. Even if you're not a regular... er, um, patron?... (barista?) on Ko-fi, you can still hopefully find some interesting stuff to check out.

But even if you don't do any of that, because... who cares, right? I do want you to do one thing for me. One tiny thing that will make the world better. One small thing that could end up changing someone's life.

The next fanfic you read, if you feel any emotions about it at all, please hit "reblog."

You don't have to write a long review, or leave a comment, or add any tags to it. You don't have to do anything more than click the reblog button. But please reblog. When you reblog, you get to share the gift fanfic writers make with someone else, regardless of whether you know them. And subconsciously, you tell the writer 'yes, I see you, and I think other people should, too,' and that small thing can save someone's life one day.

Forget engagement, forget likes vs comments vs reblogs vs community labels vs filtering settings—

Stories are gifts. They are expressions of love put to words. They are emotions lived, repackaged, wrapped in a bow, and then shared with others, along with a kind little note that says 'here's this moment of my heart, I hope it moves you the way it moved me.'

Reblog. And fill the world with a little more love.

[retrowhatever]

All the Horizon Fanfic Stats You Never Knew You Needed

So I did some data analysis. More graphs and lots of rambling below the cut.

I love graphs. And spreadsheets. And making my hobbies unnecessarily complicated. So obviously once I discovered that there's an unofficial ao3 api, I had to learn a new programming language so I could throw some math at my Horizon hyperfixation and make some graphs about fanfics. This post is the result of that rabbit hole, I hope you enjoy it!

Before we get started, I want to make one thing explicitly clear: this post is a celebration. It's a celebration of fanfic, authors, and the fandom in general. If you have something mean to say about a ship, a writer, or a fic, this ain't the place. I made these graphs and wrote this post as a love letter to a game I'm obsessed with and the incredible people who make the fan content that is my main form of sustenance these days lol, so let's keep the discussion positive.

One last thing: I generated these graphs from data that I pulled on Aug 4, 2022. Anything published after that won't be reflected here. Alright, here we go! Let's see some graphs!

Fanfic by Length

The first thing I wondered is what the average length of fic was. I did not include any fics below 100 words, assuming they were either art or placeholders, neither of which provide any useful information regarding number of words.

I defined the categories as follows:

Ficlet - less than 2000 words

Short Story - 2K-10K words

Novella - 10K-50K words

Novel - 50K-100K works

Behemoth (pun fully intended) - 100K+ words

Obviously, there's some blurriness at the category edges, but it's pretty clear most fics tend to be relatively short. I'm genuinely surprised by how many huge, sprawling works there are though - I definitely expected there to be a single-digit number of behemoth fics. Mad props to the folks writing those monstrosities for the rest of us to enjoy!

Fanfic by # of Chapters

This graph kind of underscores the point about most fics being relatively short. There are almost twice as many single chapter fics than all other fics put together.

A thing I think is relatively unique to fanfic as a medium though, is that a fair number of those single chapter fics are novella or even novel length. You're not often going to find a book at a bookstore that's tens of thousands of words and has no chapter divisions, but that's not unusual in fanfic.

Fanfic by Author

Okay, the first thing you need to understand about this graph is the following numbers:

1

2.6

Those are the median and mean fics published per author in the Horizon fandom, respectively. In case you slept through your stats class, what that means is most fanfic writers have written one or two Horizon fanfics. Now go back and look at the graph.

...yeah. We as fanfic lovers owe a lot to these folks. Most of them are on tumblr, so even if you don't have an ao3 account (same, babe, same) you have no excuse not to go show them some love!

Serie11 is @valaloy

SoupAndChaos is @soupandchaos

mythicait is @mythicaitt

DragonRose35 I couldn't find a tumblr for

Kittleskittle is @kittleskittle

VidalsQueen is @sun-and-shadow-aloy

NorthernGhost is @thatsgonnabeanogho

sunspot (unavoidedcrisis) is @sunspott

januarys I couldn't find a tumblr for

foibles_fables is @foibles-fables

unstable_grad I couldn't find a tumblr for

Pikapeppa is @pikapeppa

YoGrossDude is @yogrossdude

bioluminesce is @owlswatch

wandereringray is @wandereringray

escafiils is @chloefraazers

Fanfic by Rating

Okay, now things are getting spicy! First of all, if I'd had to guess the most popular rating, it probably wouldn't have been Teen. But, given how popular the "fluff" tag is (foreshadowing for the tag graph later in this post), I guess it shouldn't be that surprising.

Secondly, I'm clearly not the only one who struggles to understand what exactly the Mature rating is for, considering it's the least-used rating by a fair margin.

Fanfic by Ship

The most popular ships, colour-coded based on orientation. From left to right: mlm, straight, wlw, poly, machines(?????), unknown

I want to reiterate here that I made this post to celebrate the awesome Horizon fandom, so if you're thinking of using this graph to argue that one ship is better/more correct than another... just don't, k? Good.

I also combined similar tags, so if someone used all three of the tags "Aloy/Erend", "Aloy/Erend (Horizon: Zero Dawn)", and "Aloy (Horizon: Zero Dawn)/Erend (Horizon: Zero Dawn)" for the same fic, that's actually going to count as three fics in the Aloy/Erend column. I'll probably end up redoing this graph eventually with a less naive counting algorithm, but for now this is what we've got.

Now that we've got methodology out of the way, let's talk about some cool things this graph shows!

First, Kotaloy shippers obviously have a lot of things to say. Unlike the other five most popular ships, Aloy/Kotallo is the only one involving a character that wasn't in the first game. And it's the second most popular ship! Y'all are rabid and I love it.

Second, of the wlw ships, the second and third most popular ships involve a character from the DLC and a character who dies immediately after you meet her, respectively. You guys are out here making meals from crumbs and I am impressed. Also, though, why don't Petra and Vanasha get more love??? I'm unsurprised that Talanah and her favourite Thrush are the #1 ship, but I (a clueless straight, to be fair) loved both Petra and Vanasha and definitely expected to see more fic involving them.

Third, I love the variety here. This graph only includes ships with at least 10 fics, and there are so many different ships represented! There were tons more that had 5-10 fics too, and it honestly made me so happy to see that there were multiple fic options for almost any pairing in the game.

Fanfic by Tag

Y'all. Look at all the fluff. People always joke about making their blorbos go through it in their fanfic, but like. There is SO MUCH FLUFF. We all really just looked at these characters and went "well, they deserve nice things for a change", huh? I also love how popular canon divergence is - anecdotally, I usually see that tag on fics that are like "well, what if that shitty thing didn't happen?"

That's not to say it's all sunshine and rainbows. The next two most popular tropes are "angst" and "hurt/comfort", and as an enthusiastic consumer of both, I'm not surprised. But again, anecdotally I see a fair number of fics tagged with one or both of those and a "fluff" tag.

Going back to the ratings graph, where we learned that the most popular fic rating is Teen & Up, it shouldn't be surprising that both "First Kiss" and "First Time" are more popular tags than any of the more explicit sex ones. Also, given that Aloy grew up an outcast, I think the popularity of those tags speaks to how fun it is for both writers and readers to delve into what that means for her when it comes to sex and relationships.

Finally, the most-used content warning tags will surprise exactly no one, I think. Canon-typical violence (because duh), PTSD (growing up a literal outcast before finding out you're a clone made by an AI so you can save the entire world from extinction will do that to ya, not to mention all the shit Aloy's friends/lovers have been through in their own lives), and canonical character death (glares at GEMINI) are all pretty obvious choices.

Conclusion

Because I have zero impulse control, I'm already working on a part two for this post, where I will address such pressing questions as "Which ship has the most verbose authors?" and "Who's the gayest Horizon character?" as well as recklessly use the powers vested in me by the math and algorithm gods to find some hidden gem fics that you might not have read yet.

In the meantime, I would love to hear some more opinions on these graphs! I've commented on some of the things I found interesting, but there's lots more to address here, so feel free to reblog this post or snag any graph you find interesting to use in a post of your own. I only ask that you tag me if you do - because I want to read what you have to say!!

Also, if there's any stats or questions about Horizon fanfic that you're particularly curious about, let me know. I'm limited by the information available on ao3, but I will do my best to find you answers and include them in the next post.

Lastly, one final reminder that we're here to celebrate the awesomeness of Horizon fanfic, the fanfic authors, and the fandom in general. I will humbly accept all constructive criticism about my (somewhat questionable) statistical methods and data interpretation, but ask that you keep comments about ships, tags, authors, etc positive and productive. Remember these are real people creating free content for the rest of us, and don't yuck someone else's yum.

Thank you for reading, and I hope you found this half as interesting as I did!

[ilongfor-the-arts]

The Job Opportunity

Warnings: mentions of alcohol addiction, mild language

Summary: You think your career is saved when you are offered a job that pays insane amount of money. However, you discover it consists of much more than you originally thought.

Word Count: 4k

Series Masterpost

As the line indicating where to type flashed, I stared at my computer. I was experiencing the worst case of writer's block I'd ever had. I wondered how long I had been staring at the blank screen. Minutes? Hours? I needed to take a break. I shut the laptop and paced around my room. At this rate, I'd never get anything done. My phone rang, and I reached for it from the top of my desk. Crap. It was my client.

“Hey Brian. How are ya?”

“Y/N. I hate to rush you but you gotta get that article to me soon.”

“Yeah I know. I’ll try to finish it either today or tomorrow.”

I wasn't sure how I'd finish it in one to two days, but I'd have to give it a shot. I was in desperate need of money and needed this client.

“Okay. No more extension after that though. If you want to get paid it needs to be done sooner rather than later.”

“Yeah. I know. Sorry.”

I threw my phone on my bed and sighed deeply as I ran my fingers through my hair. I haven't been able to write anything for several weeks. There was no inspiration to be found in the bleak walls of my apartment. But rent was due soon, and I didn't have much of a choice. There was no way I could ask my parents for money, they had been struggling with money practically their entire life.

I put on my shoes and walked out onto New York's streets. I needed to clear my mind after staring at a blank screen on my computer for hours. The city smells strongly of smog, more than usual. It has always been my dream to live in a big city, but some days I wish I could be in the country where everything smelled good and I didn't have to live in constant fear of being robbed.

I had a streak of good fortune where I was writing for large corporations and my articles were making me a lot of money. I could even buy a house in a fairly rich neighborhood. It felt good to have money. It was a feeling I'd never had before. To be able to eat at a nice restaurant without worrying about the bill. To be able to splurge on myself every now and then and purchase something nice. All things I was forced to worry about when I was young. Not that I was complaining; my parents provided a good life for me and loved me unconditionally, which is more than some people can say. Now, I'm struggling to keep my apartment and don't have enough money for nice food or clothes. It’s amazing how fast things can change in such a short amount of time.

I look through the windows of the Gucci store which is just down the street from my house. I wish I could afford some of the lovely items I noticed through the window. I imagined myself living in Los Angeles and strolling down Rodeo Drive with ten bags on my arm. One day, when I'm not broke, I'll relocate to Los Angeles. I intend to write and publish my own books, as well as purchase a beachfront home. I am confident that one day I will achieve my dream. I'm still young, and I have a lot of time.

I took a long walk around the city, admiring the expensive stores from afar and occasionally resting on any bench I could find. It felt good to leave my apartment. The walls began to feel as if they were closing in on me. Until I came full circle and returned to my apartment.

I sat down at my desk and forced myself to write. I even kept my phone in the other room so there were no temptations. It definitely wasn’t my best writing, not by a long shot, but I hoped it was enough to earn me enough money to pay the rent. I sent it over to Brian, and waited for a response. About an hour later, I got a call back.

“It’s not bad, but it certainly isn’t great.”

I sighed deeply, plopping down on my bed.

“You used to be such a good writer. What happened?”

“I know. I’m really sorry I’ve just been feeling super burnt out. I need something actually interesting to write about. I need new inspiration, a new story.”

Brian was someone I'd known for a long time. We grew up next door to each other. I felt comfortable talking about almost anything with him.

“Look. I feel for you, Y/N. So I’ll pay you a little extra this time, but you’re going to have to get it together if you want to be successful.”

“I know, I know.”

With my pointer and middle finger, I pinched the bridge of my nose.

“Have you been drinking?”

I shook my head.

“No. I’ve pretty much given that up.”

“Pretty much?”

“Well… I’ve had a few drinks.”

On the other end of the phone, I could hear Brian sigh.

“Y/N. You have to go completely clean otherwise one day the stress will become too much and you’ll spiral back down the rabbit hole-”

“I won’t.”

I interrupted him.

“Alright? I’m trying to slowly ease out of it.”

“You’ve been trying to ease out of it for the past two years Y/N.”

“Well I’m certainly not as bad as I used to be.”

“That’s true, but you’re not out of the woods yet. If you keep letting yourself indulge, all it’ll take is one little problem for you to reverse all your progress.”

“Okay. Okay. I got it. No more alcohol. I promise.”

I wasn't sure if I was making a false promise. I wanted to quit, but it was difficult for me. The more I resisted, the more appealing the taste of alcohol became.

“You can be a great writer Y/N. I know you can. You have serious talent. I can already picture you standing on the porch of your brand new beach house in California.”

“But?”

I questioned, because there was always a but.

“But you have to get it together. Take a week off and focus on yourself.”

I scoffed.

“I wish I had a week to take off. The money you’ll send me will pay for rent and some actually decent food. Then I’ll have to get right back to work to pay for next month’s rent and food.”

I leaned back on the mattress, my gaze fixed on the bleak ceiling.

I’m living paycheck to paycheck over here.”

“How about this. I’ll give you enough cash to pay for two months of rent and some extra for food-”

I interrupted him once more. I despised it when people took pity on me and felt obligated to give me money. It's already happened more than once to a few of my financially secure friends. I hated it. It made me feel as if I were a child.

“Brian you know I hate to ask for money.”

“You never asked. I’m offering it to you. Think of it like a friend helping a friend.”

I sighed.

“Okay. But this is the last time, alright? I want to be able to live off of my own money.”

“I know Y/N. You were doing great work for a while and then you just… fell off your rocker.”

“Yeah. Don’t remind me. I’m still trying to move past it.”

There was a brief moment of silence before Brian, on the other end of the phone, gasped loudly. My heart jumped slightly as a result of the sudden burst of noise.

“Oh! I almost forgot the main reason I called you!”

I sat up instantaneously.

���My buddy who works at Louboutin is desperate for someone to write an article. I gave him your information and he said he’d be more than happy to meet you.”

My eyes widened.

“Louboutin?! How much are they paying?”

“The job consists of a little more work than just writing an article. So they’d be willing to pay almost triple. I don’t know the exact figures, but he said they’d be willing to pay a lot of money for a good article.”

“More work? What do I have to do?”

“I’m not exactly sure. He’s in his office tomorrow so you two can discuss the specifics then.”

The offer seemed vague, but I was short on cash. This job could provide me with a living for a few months. That would give me plenty of time to finish my book.

“Alright. I’ll check it out.”

“Okay. Bye Y/N.”

“Bye.”

It would be fantastic to write for a brand as well-known as Louboutin. Not only would it most likely pay well, but it would also attain me notoriety. If it meant triple the pay, I would gladly put in a little extra work. I knew this was my big breakthrough. The smell of fresh seawater was already wafting through the open windows.

I was standing in front of a large office building on the city's affluent outskirts. I didn't have many nice clothes to wear, so I opted for something a little more semi formal. I really just went through my closet looking for something halfway decent that was also clean. I rode the elevator all the way to the fifteenth floor. After an extremely smooth ride, I exited the elevator. I wish my apartment building's elevator was as seamless as this one. The moment I reached the fifteenth floor, men and women in extremely expensive suits completely obscured my view.

Brian informed me that his office was directly next to the elevator. I pushed past a few people, muttering apologies, until I arrived at Mr. Adams' office. His office door was foggy glass surrounded by beautiful woodwork. Before entering, I knocked. The door opened smoothly on its hinges.

“Mr. Adams? I’m Y/N. Brian’s friend.”

Mr. Adams appeared to be the epitome of a successful businessman. Black hair with a clean cut that was pulled back using just the right amount of gel. The kind of suit that would look good in a magazine. A smile that would stun anyone he encountered.

“Ah Y/N. Nice to meet you. Please, sit down.”

He motioned his hand to a chair in front of his dark wood desk. I pulled the chair back before taking a seat. I smoothed my skirt, trying to appear as professional as possible.

“So. I hear you’re a writer.”

I nodded, flashing the biggest smile I could muster.

“Yes I am.”

Mr. Adams began to flip through a pile of papers on his desk.

“Brian sent me some of your work. It’s phenomenal.”

Brian must have sent him some of my early work. I hadn't written anything remotely decent in a long time.

“Thank you so much Mr. Adams.”

I placed a hand over my heart, trying to appear truly touched by his compliment.

“Please. Call me Nathan.”

Nathan pulled out a drawer directly in front of him and gingerly placed the paper into it. He pushed it back and folded his hands in front of him.

“So. The job. We’re willing to pay up to 75,000 dollars for a 2000 word article.”

My eyes widened involuntarily. 75,000? For only 2000 words? This had to be a joke.

“Sir. While I would love to be paid 75,000 for an article, that amount of money really isn’t necessary. I do have a degree in English so my rates are a bit higher than other writers. But I would typically only charge about 3,000 dollars for a 2,000 word article.”

Nathan raised his hand to silence me.

“We have pairs of shoes worth half what we’re offering you. All we have to do is sell a little extra to rich folk and then your salary will be paid. But, there’s more to this job than just writing an article. That’s why we’re willing to pay so much.”

Right. I had almost forgotten. The “extra work.” I couldn’t imagine what work would be so difficult that it would require me to be paid 72,000 dollars extra.

“What do I have to do?”

Nathan exhaled loudly.

“Are you familiar with Josh Kiszka?”

I nodded vigorously.

“Of course. He’s one of the biggest fashion designers in the world.”

Nathan pursed his lips.

“Yes. We have reason to believe there’s been shady business occurring at the Kiszka emporium. Your job is to find out what exactly that shady business is.”

I furrowed my eyebrows.

“You’re gonna pay me 75,000 dollars to investigate a hunch? That seems like a colossal waste of money.”

Nathan locked his gaze on mine, and I knew he was serious.

“This isn’t just a hunch. I can say with almost 100% confidence that there is something shady going on. Two years ago, no one even knew Josh Kiszka existed. Now, he’s one of the top clothing designers in the world. He sold more products than Gucci last year. You don’t get that far with hard work and determination.”

“So… you want me to spy?”

Nathan paused for a moment, staring at the ceiling and deep in thought.

“Well… not exactly. We just want you to pose as a reporter and use whatever means necessary to find out his dirty secrets.”

I chuckled. This guy was saying things I couldn't believe. He wanted me to go undercover and coax secrets out of a millionaire.

“With all due respect sir, that is the definition of spying.”

Nathan shrugged.

“That is precisely the reason we’re offering so much money to you. Discover his secrets, write an article about it, and let us publish it.”

“Sir, that can’t be legal… can it?”

Nathan leaned back in his chair, crossing his legs and intertwining his hands in his lap.

“When you find out his dirty little secret, I bet you a million bucks the whole world will be focused on him rather than us.”

I wasn’t convinced. Nathan noticed my unsure expression and reassured me.

“Honey, we’re Louboutin. We’ll be able to pay off whatever minor lawsuits that kid throws at us.”

His voice was full of poison when he talked about Josh. He must really hate that guy.

“Why do you wanna destroy Josh Kiszka this badly? I mean, what has he ever done to you?”

In rage, Nathan slammed his fists on his desk. In sheer terror, I flinched, clutching the armrests of the chair.

“What has he done to me?!”

He was yelling while whispering to avoid causing a major commotion at work. However, I believe his efforts were futile because he practically rocked the entire room in his enraged state.

“He’s already taking major money from Gucci. Everybody loves his clothes! We just overheard he’s planning to release a new shoe line in the next six months. If that happens, we’ll suffer major financial loss as well.”

I didn't want to accept his offer, but I needed the money and this would be a great way to break out of my writing slump. But I needed to go a step further. 75,000 dollars suddenly didn't seem like enough money for spy work. I leaned back in my chair, attempting to appear as assured as possible when presenting my request.

“I’ll do it. But, I want an extra 100,000.”

Nathan was practically enraged, and he was about to protest when I raised my hand and cut him off.

“Let me explain. You want me to spy on a millionaire who most likely has guards watching his back at every corner. It won’t be an easy job. Not to mention, I’m not a spy so you’re asking me to explore completely new territory. You also used the phrase “whatever means possible.” If what you’re implying is that I have sex with him for secrets than I’ll definitley need higher pay. Also, you never mentioned how long I would have to spend trying to coax secrets out of him. If I have to devote months of my time to seducing a millionaire then more money is definitely necessary.”

I leaned forward in my chair.

“Plus, you could be leading me on a wild goose chase. I may be devoting months of my time for nothing. I want 175,000 dollars. That’s my final offer. Take it or leave it.”

Nathan shook his head and waved his hand through the air.

“No. We can’t afford to lose that kind of money.”

I shook my head and leaned back in my chair, staring menacingly.

“You said earlier that you sold pairs of shoes that were priced at half of 75,000. Half of 75,000 is about 37,500. 37,500 times five is 187,500. All you have to do is sell five pairs of shoes to desperate rich people and you’ll have my full salary paid off in no time.”

I could see the steam coming out of Nathan’s ears. I kept my cool as he scowled at me.

“Plus, I know you’re desperate. I’m probably your only option. So, take a moment to think about it before you deny me.”

Nathan was staring deeply into my eyes, hoping that I would break, but I stayed strong. He was asking me to do crazy things, so it was only fair that I asked for a crazy amount of money in return. I waited in silence, staring at him. He clenched his jaw before sighing deeply.

“Alright. 175,000.”

I smiled, purposely appearing proud of myself.

“Thank you very much.”

We both stood and shook hands.

“It was a pleasure doing business with you.”

Nathan nodded and smiled, his lips pursed.

“Mr. Kiszka is going to be visiting his own store here in New York on Saturday. You will get to know him by posing as a reporter. We’ve hopefully secured a short interview between you two. Thankfully, we can utilize his cockiness. Be charming and his inflated ego will do the rest. Millionaires live with the thought they can score any girl that crosses their path. It’s just a fact.”

I nodded.

“Alright. I’ll try my best.”

We bid each other goodbye. I congratulated myself once I was out on the street. This was going to be a breeze. Nothing is more easily manipulated than a rich person who knows they're rich, especially if you're a pretty girl, in my experience. I'll just smile at him, give him a little charm, and then give him extra attention after we've had sex. I'm going to be his secret girlfriend. He'll give me complete access to his home, where I can look for clues whenever I want, and he'll be none the wiser.I'd get whatever he was keeping hidden. Then I'd ditch him. I'd vanish one day, leaving no trace. He'd be concerned, but he'd never think to look into it. That night, he could have another woman in his bed if he really wanted. There was no reason for him to pursue me. An anonymous writer will publish an article revealing everything a few weeks later.

It made me feel a little guilty when I realized I'd have to trick some guy into spilling his secrets, but I was getting paid too much money to care. I was planning to move to California as soon as possible. I'd be shopping on Rodeo Drive and sipping fine wine on my porch. The money I earned will be enough to keep me afloat and cover any expenses associated with the new book. I was ready for a new beginning. I was ready to be wealthy once more.

That night, I did some research on Josh. Standard information like where he was born, how many siblings he has, and his business history. Nathan was correct; his success seemed to come out of nowhere. I searched for many articles online, and a lot of writers said his success was due to his hardwork and dedication. I replayed Nathan’s words in my head.

“You don’t get that far that fast with just hardwork and determination.”

One thing that initially struck me the most was how incredibly handsome and young he was. He was about my age and already a multimillionaire. I looked through dozens of photos of him, admiring his good looks. He had the most beautiful face I'd ever seen and the finest head of hair. I hope he wasn't aware of how hot he was, because if he was, I might have to work a little harder to coax secrets from him.

I wasn't concerned. I'd finish this job in a month or so and then start writing my book. I'd be living in California in a year. My dream seemed millions of years away just a few days ago. It now appears to be a simple task. Thursday was the date. Waiting until Saturday would be difficult. I wanted to start right away, but I knew I needed to be patient. I had a few days to gather my thoughts and prepare. Then I'd be wooing one of the world's most well-known fashion designers. Then I'd be rewarded. Then I'd be on my way to California in no time. Gosh, I needed to get my brain off it. I tried, but I couldn't help it. My mind went over the schedule at least ten times more. Charm him, get paid, and relocate to California. Charm him, get paid, and relocate to California. It was simple. So simple.

I tried not to get my hopes up, but every time my thoughts wandered to Saturday, my heart raced with excitement. I only had a day before I had to start this job. A full 24-hour period. That was way too long. I wanted to do it right away. I needed to be paid right away. I took a deep breath, knowing that everything would be fine in due time. I should contact Brian.

I called Brian to inform him of the good news. He was initially concerned, concerned about the whole ethical aspect of it, but I reassured him that it would put me back on track for a good life. He backed down, wishing me luck and asking to be invited to my future beach house in California. Of course, I said yes and hung up the phone. I couldn't keep my excitement in check. 175 thousand dollars. Just thinking about having that kind of money made my mouth water. Brian would loan me enough money to cover a few months' rent, and I'd finish the job, get paid, write my book, and relocate to California. Oh my gosh, I was thinking about it again.

I gave up because it was my mind and I could think about my dreams whenever I wanted. I closed my eyes and imagined myself on the beaches of California, basking in the sun and listening to the gentle sound of the waves. I'd stay on the sand for as long as I could, then walk back to my house once I'd had my fill. Maybe I'll meet a hot surfer boyfriend. At the thought, I smiled at the empty room. My fantasies eventually wore me out. As the silence of my room engulfed me, I began to drift off.

For the first time in months, I didn’t have the desire to take a drink before bed.