#i'm basically a grown up
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#why no one told me that trying to get in the “grown up life” is so stressful when you have zero experience in a real work#All the skills you have are not enough#At the same time you didn't have rest at all after graduating because of the outside pressure#And I feel like I became deadly annoying#Let me complain a little bit I swear to god this is like 2 time after college when I want to complain at something I'm not that strong#What do you mean there is no sign “We want YOU as our worker!” ahagsha funny#I have to learn about 2 new programms on a basic level at least#Learn new things on Toon Boom#Prepare different portfolios when turns out I barely have something I can show#I was thinking too little and now I barely can think and I start being irritated at myself yet can do nothing since my brain rebels#Okayyy just 2 more months to see if something will turns out good out of what I will be doing
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we'll be there! 💖
#this is another old one from... over a year ago? jeezuz time moves too fast#i was going through a lot when i drew this#i basically binged wbb in... february? of '22#it brought me a lot of comfort when i needed it and it's a very cute show#though i'll admit i never liked the baby bears that much. i liked the episodes when they were grown up#so i never watched we baby bears or the movie unfortunately#but anyway! bears#i was fascinated by the idea of drawing them as they would actually look if they were real bears because that's what i'm like#so that's what i did!#sorry not sorry for my prolonged hiatus it will happen again#wbb#we bare bears#wbb ice bear#wbb grizz#wbb panda#cartoon network#bears#wbb fanart#we bare bears fanart#actually i lied there was ONE baby bears episode i fucking adored and it was yuri and the bear because i love ice bear#like everyone else on the planet...#find me someone whose favourite wbb character isn't ice bear#you can't. it's impossible#i also loved the burrito#because i like when characters have trauma ig
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just discovered adventure time it's fun and weird
#the insecure 15 y/o in me is feeling a bit off about this one but u know what I’m a grown up now. practically dead. so I’ll do what I want#I will however apologize for the absolute abundance of blondes on my blog in the last year.. it's unforgivable I'm sorry#also shut up I know jake is cartoony and finn is not and all I can say is this: I don't care#I think finn's hair is fun. I think it's fun how he'll cut it off for any reason#adventure time#jake#finn the human#finn and jake#I'm really in my cartoon era this year#I've truly reached the age where I only want to watch kid's shows#and anime I guess. So basically I'm 13 again#LOL#fan art#painting
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Y'know, I've been in fandom spaces ever since I was very little, but one thing I never ever understood was shipping, and that's like one of the biggest parts in most fandoms. There was even an odd time when I despised it! No clue why! I just couldn't stand that sort of thing! It's still not really for me and feels a bit awkward, and I think that's fine, I just usually don't feel like investing myself in other peoples' romantic relationships. Don't know how to explain it really
BUT !!!
then I got into DS9 and guess the fuck what. Garashir has opened my damn eyes. I get it, I get it, I totally get it. I think so far in my life it's is the only ship I fully get. Those bitches gay. I wanna see those bitches being gay. I enjoy seeing those bitches being gay (insert that "sickos ha ha yes" meme). This is the part of fandom culture I've been missing out on for all these years. I think it's more so fueled by the fact that I want that gay lil lizard and space twink both, but we won't get into that right now.
Basically, let's go gay people !!!
#i had a very mixed up puritan mindset up until a little while ago and didn't let myself enjoy things lmao#it's a goofy thing but i'm very happy to let go of all that and accept new things into my life basically#i've grown so much in so many different ways in the past year or two#it just feels really nice#mauro rambles#garashir#elim garak#julian bashir#ds9#deep space 9#deep space nine#star trek#star trek ds9#star trek deep space 9#star trek deep space nine#st ds9#julian bashir ds9#elim garak ds9#garak ds9
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Since the dental Tribble has been on a strict no kibble, no crunchy, no chewing diet. (In a week or so she'll be allowed to use her teeth again a bit more, but no one wants to see a dog get dry socket.) Spouse feels that canned dog food (perpetually on hand to make into pupsickles) is not experienced as filling enough, and we do know that Tribble has done better on grain inclusive foods for the past decade, so... the rice cooker has been simmering with chicken stock rice too bulk out the canned food all week, and Matilda and Benton have both gotten a fair bit of overflow rice as a treat.
Unconnectedly, tonight happens to be my first night alone as the sole human all evening in quite a few months. Matilda has been doing her job of enforcing bed, of course, but I can also rely on other humans to help make routine happen if she's too tired to be on it.
If I was worried that Tilly hadn't worked out her evening routine enforcement functions before now, I shouldn't have been. I don't think I've ever seen a dog so excited to move the evening along towards the part where dinner and the good cookies are.
#Matilda#australian cattle dog#1 year#the things I'm trying to achieve feel so embarrassing sometimes#like the complex and flexible but not too flexible pressure to do things that are good for me at intervals in the evenings#and yes yes yes it's just that old insecurity again#I grew up literally being told that the audhd was just my special burden to overcome in secrecy: the internalized stuff is not surprising#but it also means I'm watching her cues fairly carefully#and she's now completely reliable to alarmed tasks and mostly reliable to totally uncued pesterbot reminders#it's probably time to work on other grounding behaviors and really practice DPT more but I'm just really admiring my dog's progress so far#she had her first dog reactivity 2: building basic social skills class Tuesday and barely reacted to the five other dogs in class at all#by which I mean that she stared and leaned once#answered her leave it#and relaxed enough into counterconditioning to be rolling all over the floor and grinning delighted at me by the end of class#I'm beginning to see the shape of her grown self coming out#and I think I see why people are willing to go back and keep raising puppies from this breed of incredibly awful adolescences#it's a good shape. strong. very prone to getting distorted over a few generations if a breeder isn't keeping an eye on it#I can see what she's going to be like when she's put on some more emotional development#and I'm really beginning to look forward to it
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My biggest issue in Epic the Musical is Odysseus, actually. In this essay, I will....
#good god I hate his (lack of) character arc#if you want me to believe he is a monster then he gotta be consistently!!!! monstrous!!!#but no he is constantly allowed to be a poor pissbaby because portraying him as anything *gasp* morally dubious is bad#idk i don't know anything about the og myths but to me Epic's Odysseus bounces around between moods far too fast but he is always allowed t#reset back into what he has been from the start#none of his angst feels earned at any point because basically all the “bad choices” he's been put into have been outside of his control#except maiming the sirens and sacrificing people to scylla#which feel so out of character at that point to me because the next song he's whining to Zeus to not make him choose between him and his me#bitch if you were willing to sacrifice them two seconds ago why not now#why not have odysseus be the one to suggest sacrificing his men instead of him to show how far he is actually willing to go#but noooo his hand needs to be forced because???#at that point in the musical I feel like he should've been far more cruel so the Ithaca saga will actually feel like something#gives this man some agency to be a fucked up guy by himself. please.#it would've made the poseidon fight even more satisfying. he's capable because he has grown so cold. but no#idk maybe I'm missing the point but ugh#I saw a great comment unrelated to this that was like#“if you aren't comfortable with dark implications in your stories then don't write dark stories”#which I feel like applies here so well#epic the musical critical
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I think something a fem!Light would find really fascinating about fem!L is how she doesn't seem to have much of an internalized sense of inferiority or self-consciousness about her gender, because that would just have been SO ENGRAINED in Light's entire upbringing since day 1
#speaking from experience as i was sent to a school that was very much extremely paternalistic and traditional#and like#women are vessels for men to make babies in basically#and women should not be allowed to be leaders in institutions because thats what god said etc#I'm sure light would have grown up hearing very similar things#so L just being like im awesome and powerful and competitive and sometimes rude af and i am a woman#would just make light go 🤯😍😲#i don't know if they'd ever outright discuss it a lot but#light might bring it up in semi indirect ways with L similarly to how he talks about how L sits#and L just would shrug and explain her views and light would be like 👁👁#'i am see'#light yagami#l lawliet#lawlight#fem!light#fem!l#fem!lawlight#genderbend#p
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I know that Wild Kratts is one of those shows where the main [human] characters don't age despite it still being a quasi-continuity driven show, but it does admittedly make me sad that the WK kids from the earlier seasons are now relegated to (presumably permanent) background cameos because of this.
#wild kratts#pbs kids#pbs kids go#gavin kratt#2d gavin kratt#2d martin kratt#2d chris kratt#wild kratts kids#This was a revelation that I've had since watching Our Blue and Green World#But most of the child actors have grown up within the 10+ years of them being on the show#so they'd probably be too old to reprise their roles#Gavin and Ronan haven't had speaking roles since Seasons 4-5#Not to mention IRL Ronan Kratt to my knowledge has made it pretty big with his soccer career#and probably wouldn't have the time to reprise his role because of this#That one kid from the Fireflies adventure we never saw again#Ellie (that one girl in the red shirt) hasn't had a speaking role since the bat episode#Ronan Kratt actually did come back to voice his character in S7 but it was obviously deeper than how he sounded in S4#And Nina (the girl from Central America) had 3 different VAs#I'm starting to think that part of the reason Seasons 4-7 gave us so many new kid characters#is because they knew that they wouldn't have the ones from S1-3 come back regularly with the actors growing up#Which on some level I do understand#Even if they can't age up the characters (because that would require completely new/upgraded models being made for a 2-year long season)#I think recasting the kids with similar-sounding actors would be nice#maybe it's just bc I miss Gavin and Ronan idk#But until further notice they're basically just ghosts. Again I didn't realize this until seeing their cameos in one of the recent episodes
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a while ago i accidentally bent a g.pangolin electrode (those things are made of gold) the world was covered in conductive gel time is passing unreal lvls of quick they know my heart is yours
#a mark per line. i want to learn how to play the santoor linguistic communication is a two way process. candle dances like theres someone#burning in it. both listeners and speakers need to adjust for successful communication. give two examples of how listeners might adjust to#speakers. a quick rum picks you up. speakers assimilate. speakers adjust to mispronunciation. my cat is guarding the living room#my friend is stuck in abstraction hell. how might speakers adjust to listeners? laziness leads to permanent language changes and neonates#recognise the rhymes their mothers sang to them before birth. we know this because we have a way to quantify familiarity. i wonder if my#heart too would slow if i heard your voice . are you free on the 7th? i'd love it if youre there even for a little bit.#he said i dont know when ill see you again. ill see you whenever you want. i have an exam the next day and an event i'm not going to#full of beautiful monsters. shes taking her girls instead. shell be on her motorbike overclocked. from 7 hours to 9 days after#birth neonates can habituate to basic 2d shapes. i was in your living room in some latent space between solid and not. ive grown#complacent and overfilled and lazy in their warmth. my friends keep me alive and undervolted. too much sun to care for the important things#that arent you. she escapes to a small town with a book alone for meditation. she tells me she cuts fabric for the girls blood in their eye#i wish you never met my lips. shes back in lancaster. hes back from her cave full of velvet and rivers and sand#go on girl punch like you mean it#kick like i taught you.
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Imagine you have to set up yakumo's enclosure for the next couple months. How do you set it up and what do you put in there?
oh NO.! THE PROPPHECY HAS BEenm FUFILLED
i am standing in my room, leggies rooted to the floor. i am in shock .frozen and i have no idea how to proceed. there is a perpetual pathetically sobbing serpent under my blankie.
#stares at the camera and stage whispers#i can't be responsible for another living creature. i can't. or . er. i can. but I SHOULDN'T#i'll have to suppress every violent urge in my body to keep this thing alive for several months#i CANNOT fling him out the window. i WILL NOT grab his entire face and squeeze. I SHALL NOT chew on his tail.#now i'm reminded of that post where it's a pretty princess cage on the floor and comments go [that aint big enough for a dog]#and OP is all [it's not FOR a dog 😀]#yeah. that's me right now imagining a full grown yakumo in a cage by my bedside#SO FOR EASE OF MY IMAGINATION AND TO increase yaku's chance of surviving these next months#i'm going to try real hard to imagine him exclusively in pocket snake form (scrunches up my face in valiant effort)#his enclosure (crib?!?!) is flanked on all sides by eiden plushies#since yaku is an adult there is a smaller chance of him suffocating on eiden in his sleep. wait. actually#arranges the eiden walls to give some pockets of air. i don't trust him. he WILL suffocate on eiden given the opportunity#he gets one of those tiny dollhouse cooking sets for enrichment LOL#or i'll give him a bunch of those make-your-own gummy kits with elaborate setups and tiny egg gummies#crying yaku is the excuse i need to finally get a humidifier#i can survive not misting myself.. usually... but yaku will cry himself into dehydration. it's misting time#he gets an entire alcove closed off in the corner with his basic needs met. i cannot perceive#he can lurk in privacy as much as he wants. there are at least TWO hot rocks in there with garukaru's faces painted on em#there is a duplicate open-space alcove next to it for when he actually wants something from me LOL#is he a free range snake? can i take him to a bunch of restaurants and shove food into my sleeve for him? he wants to sample the delights..#tempted to put a bell on him just so if he gets loose in the basement i'll know to fish him out#but he's pretty cautious... he won't get into any fatal situations in the house right? ...does he know how to swim?!#at least one day is reserved for testing yaku's swimming capabilities.#he is going into the bathtub while it has a film of water. gonna test his traction. i hope i won't get panic-strangled#asks
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BITCH BITCH BITCH this girl i knew from student council two years ago who was a senior when i was a sophomore just posted her ENGAGEMENT. photos on instagram? girl omg. like i remember her she was so goofy
#bitch bitch BITCH#someone who's basically my age can get MARRIED??????????????!?!?!!?!?@?@?@?!?@?#?@?@?@#@?@#I'm a mizzen sized girlie/fetus with no life experience and someone who is that +2 can get married wow#I'm happy for her but still wow like i knew her when she was like. idk 17#ahhhh crazy and she looks so grown up and old now#anna speaks
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Tumblr so deeply acquainted with the allosexual concept that the only love there can be is sexual that they forget a thing called 'having grown up with someone'
#Youse probably know what this is about; it's just wild to me#if anyone's actually being serious or truther about it I am sort of judging because like#you have GOT to have been an only child or grown up estranged#or maybe not come from a very close family because are you being fucking serious#If you're either a younger or an older one you'll know they might be slightly insane but also#1) they're rockstars bullshitting in the press 2) SIBLINGS ARE JUST LIKE THAT. I cannot explain why.#Also past your teens and the angry years you just become really protective about each other?#Mum was saying at some point they become the oldest closest family you have from your childhood-- they can know your entire timeline.#And you *talk* a lot more about it when they're not around than if you're together#when you're in the same room you don't even realise stuff. Because this is basically all you've known your whole life#Look; I'm not good at what they call 'vagueposting'; you know the rumours have just reminded me this was a thing out there
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M*uthwashing was good, the only things i didn't enjoy lie in the area of writing (but so do some things i enjoyed the most!) - but I expected more from it? kinda?
#putting this into tags because spoilers ->#like ok let me get this out of the way. the only woman on the crew is the doctor and has problems related to pregnancy. groundbreaking.#but i have no problems with the rest of the cast. swansea's monologue was top notch#and you can see that everyone loved the cast because 90% of posts in the tags is JIMMY MUST DIE#so whatever.#my biggest gripe is that one delusional asshole is basically the root of all evil in the story#it makes the story not about how people deal with a horrific situation but about one man ruining everyone's lives. that seems flatter to me#so up until The Reveal the game is stellar to me#it would be so much tastier to me if it was curly after all. life sucks so much for everyone that the captain#decides to commit murder suicide - and then doesn't even die and condemns them all to a slow painful death#but instead it's ''a violent man with inferiority issues cracks under pressure and betrays everyone'' which. okay now that i've typed it out#doesn't sound too boring but still#my commentary#also since i'm here#watched another small sci-fi game about an au soviet 70s? space station manned by an AI and it reminded me how much i love sci fi#it's a 2001 a space odyssey-inspired game where you are woken up from cryogenic sleep on a space station#but it turns out that the station ai used alien mold to clone you and your coworker and thus circumvent the 3d(?) law of robotics#because neither of you is strictly speaking human anymore#the point was that the ai was like a child (and the mc who is a female psychologist in charge of working with the ai who had developed this#kinda mother-daughter relationship with the ai OF COURSE#anyway aside from the visuals and vibes/design the game is mid#but it made me crave a story where the ai is a child simply because it is easier to make a simpler ai and then to teach it instead of making#a full grown human-like intelligence#but then it does behave like a child. make a mess on accident and does its best to hide it. a staff member dies and it clones them to fix it#a chain of unfortunate events that happen only because this god child put in charge of the station wants its caretakers to not be upset#that would be mwah#i will need to check this wall fo text for spelling when i get home!
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his cringefail swag and atrocious interpersonal skills have bewitched me
all i'm saying is that this comes after a two issue special where bruce comes to help dick in bludhaven and watching them interact is like??? i love them. i hate them. they are both the worst.
dick literally cuts bruce off from offering help to yell at him about only showing up in bludhaven to blow up his spot
he assumes the absolute worst in bruce's intentions, which is especially sad to see after the way they interact kind of decently during these issues. like it's clear that they get on each other's nerves. at some point they call each other partner in like THE most passive aggressive way ever it's insane
and dick openly gives bruce lip for the entire time he's in bludhaven. but at the same time bruce is trying to help and offering pointers and there's just this emotional gulf between them
they're stuck in a relentless cycle of: bruce reaches out and tries to help because its the best way he knows how to connect, dick takes his advice as criticism and gets pissed, bruce runs away from the confrontation instead of actually dealing with it
and the chasm between them just keeps getting worse!!!! and i have. feelings! about it :/
when bruce leaves, dick IMMEDIATELY regrets his outburst. but bruce doesn't even try to work through it. he's just like oh well you seem peeved and leaves. like boys we have GOT to get better about talking through our feelings ugh
#there's more screenshots and ranting under the read more#i just. ough#i love the way this comic wrestles with dick being newly all grown up#and the way his complicated relationship with bruce just. makes it all so much harder#several times babs and tim and bruce himself offer dick help#they insist he should come by the cave they tell him to call for back up#and he just cannot see reason about it#he HAS to prove that he's an adult and he's as good as batman and he can take care of himself#and he very much sees asking for help as admitting defeat#when he wouldn't even be asking for help there are people around him basically BEGGING for him to let them help him#not because he needs it but because they care#i have big fucking feelings about this fucking guy y'all i'm so sorry#i'm normal about it :)#dick grayson#nightwing v2#nightwing v2 014#nightwing#figs sillies
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oh to be part of rentarou's massive sapphic polycule
#➳ the fool speaks#i remembered 100.kano existed#hehe#literally basically everyone is just. dating each other. the grown ass women are platonic w the Literal Kids™ obviously#(..aside from rentarou since he's the center of this whole thing. no comment on that.)#but oh god what i would give to basically be dating like 40 gorgeous women and 1 awesome#cringefail but op enough because of the love for his girlfriends to not actually be cringefail guy#I'm not poly /r because of my jealousy problems and need to not feel like I'm being replaced getting in the way of that#however if it worked for usa-chan it would almost definitely work for me because even if rentarou is hanging out with 1-8 of the gals there#is still like 30+ other people i can make out with and go out on a date with myself if i feel lonely#and he just loves everyone so damn much that if he knew i felt lonely he'd make it up to me tenfold !!#ALSO you heard me right sapphic polycule. have i introduced you to tfem he/she bigender lesbian rentarou#i love my prince wife
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one of my favorite parts of strategy games like chess and advance wars is that feeling when you haven't quite won yet but the enemy has no real options so it feels like you're just sloowly wrapping around them like a snake. when all your enemy has is their king and you've managed to turn 3 of your pawns into queens, and all you've gotta do is get in juust the right position, and in the meantime all they can do is squirm. god, that's such a wonderful feeling. nothing quite like it
#incidentally i don't like it when versions of chess insist on enforcing a stalemate rule#honestly to a certain extent i feel like if your enemy has nothing but a king and you've got more than one queen that should just be an#automatic win. like exodia except instead of the individual pieces being useless they're all the most powerful monster card in the game#i think the favorite card i had as a kid was my five headed dragon. thought that shit was so cool. 5000 in both attack and defense???#it seemed unbeatable to my little kid brain. also it was a dragon. of course i loved it#i never learned how to Actually play yugioh of course. just what rules my stupid kid reading comprehension could understand#im pretty sure a monster has to be in play for you to be able to sacrifice it. i didn't know that so i filled my deck with nothing but#really strong monsters and i'd just sacrifice some directly from my hand to summon what i wanted#i stole a lot of yugioh cards as a kid from target. i'm comfortable saying this online because the statute of limitations has absolutely ru#out by now. i looked it up.#i remember for the first time i stole a box set that had exodia. i remember on my way home so i could open it... i genuinely felt like ther#was something mystical in that box. something ancient. there was something really special about that to my kid brain#i'd later steal quite a few more because i got the bright idea to fill a deck with nothing but exodia cards. i figured i'd always have a#first draw win. took me until actually trying to play it that i realized i'd often just get 5 left arms which obviously wouldn't work#so i took that deck and added some actual monsters to “hold me off”. it was pretty much just a normal deck with too much space taken up by#essentially useless cards. i don't think i ever actually won by drawing exodia naturally. what a shame#side note but i still get a bit anxious every time i go to that target. i haven't in years and i can basically guarantee they wouldn't#recognize Grown Ass Adult me as “that kid who stole a lot of yugioh cards”. it's been almost a decade if memory serves#i've grown a lot since then. both physically and metaphorically#i digress
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