#Mum was saying at some point they become the oldest closest family you have from your childhood-- they can know your entire timeline.

[aeolianblues]

Tumblr so deeply acquainted with the allosexual concept that the only love there can be is sexual that they forget a thing called 'having grown up with someone'

[doof-doofblog]

"Shame On You!"

Tuesday 2nd February 2021

Hello again everyone! Hope you're all having a good week so far! I apologise for this post being a bit late, but for the next 2/3 days I'm going to make sure I'm fully up to date! Monday's episode ended on such a high, I'm looking forward to finding out what happens next! But let's not waste anymore time and jump straight into it!

The episode of course finishes off where we left off on Monday, after Max's announcement to the whole Vic that Sharon was blame for Ian's disappearance, everyone is completely stunned by what he's saying. It seems only Linda is sticking up for her friend, whereas Mick just sits in utter silence, listening to everything that's going on around him. When Max reveals the information about Ian locking Dennis in a room on the boat, Dotty acknowledges that what she revealed to Sharon all those months ago actually stuck to her mind! But obviously it was only when Sharon heard the voice message from Dennis herself that it become clear that Dotty was telling the truth.

Whilst all these allegations are flying around the room towards Sharon, she tries her absolute best to stick up for herself, claiming that she loves Ian and that he's her oldest friend, why wouldn't she want him back safe and sound? However she does kind of overstep the mark as she acknowledges that Ian has had breakdowns in the past and has just disappeared without a word to anyone, she mentions he might be having another one? Kathy doesn't take this statement lightly, as Sharon recalls Ian standing on the edge of a bridge once, Kathy lashes out and slaps Sharon right across the face! The locals are completely stunned by her outburst, Kathy states that she believes Sharon is lying and knows exactly where her son is!

Being the strong woman that she is, Sharon stands firm, informing Kathy that she has no idea where Ian has gone, and then she turns to Max, basically stating that the only reason he's accusing her is because he wants to clear Tina's name, for Linda. She claims he thinks that if he can clear Tina's name, Linda would come running back to him, regardless of the fact that Linda is now back with her husband. She also points out the Max has no proof to follow up his allegations. Realising that this is an argument he's not going to win, he storms out of the pub, following Kathy and other local residents. Interestingly, Mick hurries after Max, desperate to find out whether he's telling the truth not. If there's even the slightest chance that they could prove Tina to be innocent, they need to find out what Max knows.

--

Whilst this whole drama is taking place on the Square, behind closed doors, Jay and Honey are waiting for Billy to turn up for an arranged talk and chat between themselves and the children. However, Honey becomes irritated when Billy doesn't show up. She takes it upon herself to explain to both Will and Janet that even though things may seem strange and confusing for them right now, hopefully in time they get used to their Mum's romance with Jay. Jay even takes it upon himself to explain that he would never do anything to hurt them or Billy - I have to say I love how gentle he is with the children, he knows exactly how to speak to them and go to their level for them to understand. He explains that he wants their Mum to be happy just as much as them. Suddenly Billy bursts through the door, without even acknowledging that he's late or even everyone sat at the table waiting for him. He seems to take it out on the children first by stating that they've chosen sides - which I thought was really uncalled for and out of order! Honey states to her ex-husband that there are no sides and they should be able to sit down as adults and talk things through, however Billy doesn't even want to know and announces that he's going to collect his things and move out. Honey knows that she needs to talk to Billy one her own, she asks Jay to take the children out for ice cream. Once they're out of sight, Honey confronts Billy, stating the fact that he needs to learn to accept her relationship with Jay, as far as he's concerned Jay stole Honey from him, but she makes it perfectly clear that she wanted Jay as much as he wanted her, and for the first time in a long time, she's happy! I'm eager to know what you guys think of this current storyline, do you feel sorry for Billy? Or do you actually ship Honey and Jay together? I'm really intrigued to what viewer's opinion is?

--

Elsewhere on the Square, Chelsea is rummaging for a suitcase for her Dad, (unbeknown to Denise). In an attempt to help her daughter, Denise gives her one with a faulty zip, but Chelsea is grateful nonetheless. I did feel this whole section with the Fox/Johnson family was brilliant! Denise states that she's jealous that Chelsea has suddenly decided to fly to Ibiza with a friend at such short notice, especially considering the fact that she's just returned to the Square and come back into her life. Trying to show an interest, Denise questions Chelsea on who the person is that she's going with, however Chelsea shrugs the question off insisting she doesn't know the person. But something obviously doesn't sit right with Denise and asks her daughter again, but when Chelsea can't simply look at her Mother in the eye, Denise clicks on straight away who she's holidaying with. Demanding that she's not going to let her daughter go on holiday with Lucas, Denise storms over to Lucas's apartment. However, after Denise furiously states that Lucas has no right to walk out of prison and convince her daughter to take him to Ibiza, Lucas informs her that he simply can't go because he's not allowed to leave the country. This is where things take an interesting turn as Chelsea still tries to convince her Dad to go, she informs him that she's managed to get things covered for him so he can go on holiday with her. Of course, Denise is devastated, she point out that she hasn't seen her daughter in years and it hurts her that as soon as she's back in her life, she wants to disappear again with her Dad. But then Lucas insists that perhaps Chelsea should take Denise instead, much to her surprise. We can see clearly that Chelsea's plan is beginning to fall apart, as cruel as it sounds she informs her Mum that she simply doesn't want to go on holiday with her, and pleads to her Dad that she wants to spend time with him after everything they've been through and make up for all the lost time they've had. We know that Lucas is aware that his daughter is up to something, but what remains to be seen - he questions whether it's what she really wants. Will he actually agree to go with her? Or will her somehow manage to figure out her plan?!

--

Returning to the main focus of the episode, Sharon decides to take a visit to Phil, informing him that now everyone is going to be thinking that she has something to do with Ian's disappearance, thanks to Max's outburst. It looks as if Sharon is in too deep now and she has no idea how to get out, she realises that it's not just Ian and Kathy she's hurting, but also Mick and Linda. Phil informs her that it was her own decision to kill Ian and states that she should've finished the job before anyone could've asked any questions. Suddenly she gets a call from Tracey, notifying her that the police have turned up at the Vic to question her, Phil informs her to simply keep her mouth shut!

After Max's outburst earlier on, it seems that his words seem to play on Mick's mind. He mentions to Linda what if what Max is saying could be true? What if they can find proof and clear Tina's name? He pleads to wife to go and talk to Max and find out everything he knows, even though he has deep hatred for the man who tried to steal his wife, if there's any chance that Tina could be innocent of attacking Ian, they need information. Linda reluctantly agrees and goes to visit Max, insisting that she's just there for Tina, nothing else. It's then that Max informs his recent flame that Ian was in fact scared of Sharon, after his attack he was convinced that someone was poisoning him and he assisted in taking him to the doctor's for some tests, however the results of those tests were never discovered. He states that there couldn't been no one else other than Sharon who could've poisoned Ian, plus he shares the fact that Sharon lied, informing the Doctor's that Ian couldn't make his appointment because they were going on their honeymoon. Linda at first finds it hard to believe her best mate could betray her in such a way, but after listening to Max's words, something deep inside her tells her that he could be right.

Eventually, she makes her way to the pub, finding Sharon alone after the police had been to interview her. I have to say I found the awkward silence between them really powerful, both of them just simply tidying away empty glasses, not a word between them is spoken for the first few seconds. You can definitely sense the tension! Sharon is the first one to break the silence informing her friend that the police had just been to question her again on Ian's disappearance. Even though she was behind his attack, its fair to say that she really doesn't have any idea where Ian has gone. Linda takes it upon herself to open up to Sharon - I found this touching and yet very interesting, as if she was coaxing Sharon to admit the truth to her - she states that Sharon is the closest thing to sister that she's ever had, she treasures her friendship more than she explain. But softly explains to her friend that the one thing equivalent to her friendship with Sharon is the relationship of her family - gently she questions her best friend whether what Max was saying is true - Is Tina innocent?!

Clearly we can see the tears in Sharon's eyes, it looks as if she too treasures Linda's friendship and she now knows she can no longer hide her secret. She nods slowly, admitting the Tina is innocent of attacking Ian and what everything Max said was true. As she turns to her friend, tears filling her eyes, she begins to explain everything - how she discovered her son's voice message from the night he died on the boat and how it simply ate away at her knowing what Ian did, how unfair it was that her son died and Ian lived. She informs her that Phil was also in on the plan and in fact he was the one who attacked Ian in the first place, whilst she made herself scarce. She tries to appeal to the Mothering side of Linda, insisting that with her being a Mother also, how would she react if it was one of her children? She apologises that Tina got caught in the cross fire and it was never their intention, but she panicked. As tears begin to roll down Sharon's cheeks she questions her friend "What was I to do?"

Whilst Sharon finally confesses the truth, Linda stares at her without saying a single word. For a split moment it looks as if Linda can understand her friend's actions - the Motherly side of it, but to have the blame passed on to her family, betraying Linda's trust and having a member of her own family take the rap for something she didn't do! That's pure betrayal, something possibly Linda may never be able to see past. She shames Sharon, insisting that she's clearly disappointed and devastated with her friend's choices, she leaves the pub leaving Sharon teary.

What does this mean for the Carter family now though? Now they know Tina is innocent, will they be able to find proof to clear her name?! Will Sharon turn herself into the police? I'm really intrigued to what's going to happen next. I have heard some form of rumour that Tina is actually alive?! Of course nothing has been confirmed, but if it turns out to be true, what would that mean for Gray also?! So many secrets could all be blurted out?! Oooo it's exciting to think about! What do you guys think? Please feel free to leave me any messages or comments, I'd love to hear your thoughts! Thank you again for reading, I'll be back again very soon! Love you all xXx

[constant-and-immovable]

au: a hearth & home port

People come from all over, even from Bristol to stay at the inn, fiddlers playing almost nightly, and one of the owners at the piano. Redone and rebuilt, built onto with riches from rumors only say where, it’s become a  tradition for city families to holiday there who can’t quite afford a house in the country. The cove protected most of each day from strong tides, keeps the sandy beach preserved where otherwise there would only be rock and pebble. The lighthouse down the way ships in the distance leaving Bristol for the wider world.

And the stories that the proprietor tells.... Tales of adventure and romance and gold and blood....

Self indulgent and sweet, a mix of hurt comfort fic and fluff, started by myself and @wannabe-british-fangirl​. I’m not very likely to write long form material for it because we plotted almost the whole thing together, so while the kids were my characters, we both came up with it, and despite searching the chat for details, it was almost impossible to figure whose plotpoints were whose.

I did however write a timeline for it that I’ll post in the AU’s tags at some point.

But for now, meet the newer characters....

Their ages in the portraits aren’t quite right, and I’m not happy with ANY of their hairstyles or Ella’s hair color, but the site I used was an AI portrait maker and I got about as close as I could.

Cassiopeia [Cassie] Hawkins: a hell of a surprise, and a lovesick promise that if Silver stayed around, Jim would let him name her. At least, she thinks, she can shorten her name to Cassie, Cass. Even as an infant she had more in her features of her father than her mother, grew up pretty if not lanky, sharp. Prefers men’s clothing, and rougher company. The best sailor out of the lot, has been caught taking the schooner out alone at night. Has been caught as a teenager in the stable loft with the blacksmith’s oldest daughter and the grocer’s daughter.

Gets dragged home by soldiers at the age of sixteen, busted for highway robbery. A screaming match between her and her parents, sisters listening from the door, “You’re going to tell me I’ve done wrong with empty guns, robbing rich men of their tenants gold, when you used to gut men alive for information, and you never minded.”

She’s gone in the morning, a note and little else, returns a year later with the captain of her ship on her arm. The fourth generation of Hawkins women to find an older sailor and decide that he was hers.

Perpetual corner-lurker at social events unless the crowd is her age and there is copious alcohol involved, in which case she quickly becomes the center of attention, charming everyone in the room with her stories and a wink.

Cassie is never exactly close with her siblings, preferring to keep to her own room rather than the communal gathering space that Ella and Lyra’s room has become. She’s also the parrot’s favorite, and it’s unsaid but understood that when her father is gone, she’ll be the one taking Flint.

Capella [Ella] Hawkins: barely a surprise at all, despite being less than a year younger than her elder sister. The only member of the family who isn’t a fan of sea, trusting no captain or sailor other than her parents or her older sister, and no ship other than their schooner. She’s the only one who doesn’t have to be guilted or forced to work the kitchen, the best cook of the family, and quick with practical numbers and sums. Doesn’t look much like either of her parents, or (to Jim’s faded memories) any of her side of the family. Silver insists she looks just like the two of them nonetheless. Possesses more common sense than every other member of the household combined.

Extroverted and warm, she’s the one that half the town asks after, the “normal” girl in a family of changlings. The only one of the girls to grow her hair long.

Lyra Hawkins: older than her twin sister by several minutes. The older she gets the more she looks uncannily like her mother. She’s around fifteen when Silver notices, she looks just like her mum at that age...relatively horrifying, considering his girl is only a girl. Young. Very young. He’s threatened the lives of multiple men passing though Black Cove to stay the hell away from his girls but Jim was this old when he remembers trying to charm her.

“Jim, I’m a bad man.” “Congratulations, you’re four children and seventeen years too late for that revelation.”

Lyra is the dreamiest of them, listening to her father’s stories (and believing them) long after the rest of the girls have moved on from it. She knows that her mother has written some of them down, but she crafts them into something more wild and exciting, fairy stories and myths, and takes to writing poetry and prose. She’s right at home on the water, but likes society. Meets a young woman who’s painting a lighthouse in southern France one summer while the family is on holiday, and stays in touch with her through flowering letters, and eventually travels with her.

Social, like Ella (the sister she’s closest to, closer even than her own twin), she loves parties and company and dancing. Good with horses and animals.

Vega Hawkins: What felt like several minutes passe between the midwife’s assistant handing her to her father and her first breath--only moments likely, blue-grey and looking far too small, it’s not thought she’ll live through the night, nor will her mother. She pulls through of course, so does Jim, but that’s the end of that. Lyra was intended to be the last as it was, but Vega never lets herself feel like she was unwanted. Sometimes she feels like half a ghost, quiet, quick, clever. She has a sharpness to her with numbers, science, stars.

While Cassie and Ella tend to avoid the full use of their first names, Vega doesn’t mind it. She’s not particularly close to her twin, but has an understanding with her oldest sister about the need for isolation. When Lyra and Cassie rolled their eyes over learning sums, Vega quickly surpassed Ella’s skill, and soon her father’s. Nothing he knew she couldn’t figure, not even when there would be letters in with the numbers.

The sea is nice, and she’s handy at mapmaking but her eyes keep looking up.

“Where’s your sister?”

Ella counts heads at the table before answering her father: her and Cassie in a cut throat game of cards, and Lyra attempting a watercolor painting (poorly.)

“Vega’s on the roof.”

“Oh, that’s--WHERE?”

“Mum’s with her.”

“That doesn’t make it better.”

 Luckily they’re not up in the turrets, but on a flatter section of the roof, Jim’s grandfather’s spyglass with them. Still. it’s over a 12 ft. drop if they fall.

Vega runs away too, but inland to university, dressed as a boy, for astronomy and physics.

The girls will also be the same in the AU that goes under the tag ‘‘An AU in Hell’‘

[chaseandjackson]

Do me a favour

chapter three 

What every mother wants for her son, a nice girl

 Annabeth had officially agreed to be my fake girlfriend and we had a contract that suited us both, I personally looked forward to not being asked a million questions about why I’m single and rather Annabeth being asked a million questions as to why she’s dating me, cant wait to hear her fake reason.

I left the coffee shop and headed home, I knew I was late for dinner, but it was take out night, so when I got home my loving family had thankfully saved me some pizza. We did our usual rounds of chatting. I asked my mum how the new book was coming along and she asked me how school was going, Estelle told us about a new boy in her kindergarten class that was left out so she asked him to play with her dinosaurs, I’m telling you she a great kid, nothing like me, at her age id already been in my first fight at school. Some things never change.

Whilst helping my mum clean up after dinner, she mentioned her book release party

“its next Saturday and the whole family’s going Percy which includes you and you need to look nice maybe a jacket and tie, and you will tuck your shirt in” she laughed

“ I promise mum ill look nice” I told her “anyway about the party I was hoping…”

“you’re not getting out it Percy”

“yeah I know mum I wanted to ask if I could bring someone” mum didn’t even bat an eyelid at my request

“yeah of course Grover can come you know he’s always welcome” she told me. You see Grover is my oldest and closest friend we’ve known each other since we were dorky losers at the age of 11. Both of us were new to the school and had no friends, we quickly had each other’s back and have ever since.

“no mum not Grover” I laughed “ I want to bring my girlfriend” that got mums attention

“girlfriend” she questioned

“yeah mum you don’t need to sound so shocked” she laughed

“I’m not shocked just surprised and pleased for you Percy that’s great it’s about time”

“muuuuummmm” I complained she only laughed at me

“what’s going on in here” Paul asked as he kissed my mum on the cheek. Yes, its gross but its much better than what the last guy she was married to did.

“Percy’s got a girlfriend” my mum proudly told him

“oh really” Paul asked “ who?”

“umm Annabeth chase” I told him

“wow really” he sounded really shocked like it wasn’t real, which obviously it wasn’t but he did know that

“whose Annabeth chase” mum asked

“she’s one of my students, a good one too, high grades she’s very popular at school as well, how did you become her boyfriend exactly” Paul laughed as my mum whacked him, though she was also laughing

I was offended that they thought she was out of my league; she is hence the fact that were not really dating but still.

“she happens to find me funny and charming” I told them

“I don’t believe that for second” Paul laughed “but good on you anyway”

“yes Percy of course Annabeth can come” mum said finally moving on from the fact that she was to good for me “any chance we could meet her first”

“umm yeah maybe” I answered

“why don’t you invite her for dinner this week” Paul suggested

I told them I would and disappeared upstairs with the excuse that I had homework which needed doing (which was true) so I could avoid talking about the fact that I have a new girlfriend (which was not true)

 I didn’t talk to Annabeth over the weekend and I wasn’t planning on talking to her until lunch, however those plans were thrown into the wind when I shut my locker and was greeted by Selina

“good morning” she said sweetly though it felt like she was about to end me

“uhh morning” ok good I sounded confident (not true)

“so what’s this I hear about you an Annabeth” right Annabeth must have told her

“what” I was coming off really dumb in this conversation

“she told me perce” I was really confused now, did Annabeth tell her we were dating or that we were fake dating

“look dumbass” rude but fair “ if you’re gonna be my best friends boyfriend you have to pass my test, Annabeth has a self destructive streak and I need to make sure you’re not the detonator”

I had no idea what she meant when she said self destructive streak, but what I did get from that conversation was that Annabeth had told her best friend that I was her boyfriend, step one of my plan complete.

“uhh ok shoot” I was not ready to be questioned but I had a feeling Selina wasn’t leaving without a interview.

“ok I use to have an intensive questionnaire but I worked out that there’s only one question that really matters and that’s why do you want to date Annabeth”

the question hit me like a train, I wasn’t expecting something so deep, the answer clearly meant a lot to Selina, and I guessed what other people had said before was, she’s hot or she popular or maybe even that she’s smart. And I may be oblivious or not the smartest guy but I’m not an idiot. I knew that they weren’t good enough reasons to want to be with someone.

To be honest with you I’m not really the type of guy to date because its fun or because I can. Even at this age I believe in dating someone to fall in love or spend your lives together however sappy that sounds, and i haven’t met anyone that I want to fall in love with yet, maybe because I’m only 18 or maybe because I’m a dumbass.

And I know that Selina has similar beliefs, I don’t know her well but I’ve know her for a long time and I knew the answer to this question was important because it’s the kind of question I ask myself when I started dating anyone, so I gave her the only answer I could

“because Annabeth isn’t like anyone else I’ve met, she doesn’t look at me like I’m a loser, or a dumbass even though I am. I wanna be with Annabeth because I’ve known her for along time and she never stops amazing me, or growing as a person, she’s hands down the nicest, smartest most thoughtful person I know, (all true) why wouldn’t I want to date her”

Selina looked satisfied by that “nice answer perce” she smiled a real genuine simile “but I’ve got my eye on you” and with that she flipped her fair and walked away

“yeah seaweed brain that was a good answer” if I was more observant I would have picked up on the fact that Selina kept glancing past me or that when she flipped her hair she threw a wink to whoever was behind me, if I paid more attention I would have noticed it was Annabeth stood there

“what can I say I’m an excellent boyfriend” I joked, Annabeth and I both knew I meant what I said but neither of us needed to say it

“apparently so” she laughed

“anyway, I was gonna ask you later but since you’re here, are you free after school at all this week”

“umm yeah I’m free Wednesday, why”

“did you wanna come over for dinner, you know meet the family and stuff”

Annabeth laughed “yeah I can do that”

“ok great ill drive you home on Wednesday then” after that we both headed to our classes.

 The next few days ran smoothly Annabeth and I talked in the morning and in between classes, we got our food together at lunch but we didn’t sit together which was ok, finally Wednesday rolled around, and the final bell rang.

In the time it took me to get to my locker Annabeth had somehow been to her locker, gotten rid of all her books, put a jumper on, said goodbye to her friends and made it to my locker, man that girl was quick.

“man, you’re slow” Annabeth laughed as I finally reached her

“yeah whatever” I laughed as I shoved my books into my locker “so ready for dinner”

“yes I will be on my best behaviour” Annabeth told me in a joking tone

“you know you’re having dinner with me right, you can be on your worst behaviour but still better than me” that made Annabeth laugh and she pushed me (in a friendly way) as we left the building.

Luckily we beat my parents home as we went straight to my house. My plan was to dump our bags in my room then go hang out in the living room, Annabeth however had other plans when she got in my room.

You don’t realise how much of yourself you revel in your room until you have someone stood in there judging it and essentially you. Annabeth turned to my open wardrobe mainly filed with hoodies and flannels, she eyed the photos of my family and friends on my desk, including photos of me holding my baby sister, and spending time fishing with my half-brother, Tyson. She looked at the posters on my wall, the marvel comics going back through the years, the office poster of Michael Scott’s movie threat level midnight, she did a double take at the worn out guitar in the corner, and the laptop which was still playing the good place on Netflix. It felt like she was judging my soul then she simply said

“cool room” I didn’t realise I was holding my breath until I breathed out. “I didn’t know you played guitar”

“umm yeah it was Pauls, when he started dating my mum he wanted to find something we could do together so he taught me, on my first birthday after they got married he gave me his guitar, he told me he always wanted to teach his kids, it was a big moment for us” I told her closing my wardrobe

She smiled at me “wow you really are a big softie aren’t you” I laughed. Annabeth spent the next half hour questioning basically everything in my room, we even got onto the topic of Tyson, Annabeth only stopped when she heard Estelle’s voice screaming for snacks

“ahh the family’s home” I joked as we walked downstairs.

“hello mother, Paul. This is Annabeth” I pointed at her; my mother hugged her instantly

“hi Annabeth, its so nice to meet you” Annabeth took a moment to recover

“umm its nice to meet you too Mrs Jackson”

“oh sweetie just call me sally”

“oh umm ok nice to meet you sally” id seen Annabeth be confident in every situation ever, but for the first time she seemed nervous, she would soon realise that my mum is the easiest person on earth to talk to

“and um hi Mr blofis”

“hi Annabeth, you can call me Paul here if you want”

“hi Paul” Annabeth smiled, mum and Paul went to put the shopping away in the kitchen

“your parents seem nice” Annabeth let out a nervous laugh

“yeah sorry about them being weird and everything, they’re just over excited I’ve never bought a girl over before” Annabeth looked surprised

“really why”

“I’ve never really had you know a proper girlfriend, I’ve been on dates and stuff but you know” I rubbed the back of my neck ( a nervous habit)

“that surprises me”

“umm yeah we’ll talk about it later” I laughed nudging her into the living room

“hi Estelle, this is Annabeth, you know the one I was talking about” Estelle was playing with her dinosaurs on the floor, she turned to look at Annabeth

“this is henry my dinosaur” she told her

“hi henry nice to meet you” Annabeth said sitting down to play with Estelle

“are all of these dinosaurs yours” Annabeth asked, Estelle nodded

“but you can have Tina so you can play as well” Estelle said holding up a stegosaurus which Annabeth happily took and played along with her

“you’re good with kids” I told her

“yeah I have little brothers, they’re twins so they needed twice the entertainment” she laughed

“I didn’t know you had brothers”

“I dint know you had a brother” she countered with

“fair point” I laughed.

Annabeth and I played with Estelle for about an hour before dinner was ready. I could tell you everything that happened over dinner but all you really need to know is that I absolutely made the right decision when I asked Annabeth to be my fake girlfriend. She was incredible, smart, funny my parents just loved her so much. It was a lovely evening.

I drove Annabeth home after dinner. I parked outside her house.

“thank you, Annabeth, for tonight. I mean really it went so well” I told her

“you know what your family are so nice and friendly I really did have a good time.” She said, I thanked her again as I walked her to the door, we hugged good night and I drove home

I walked into the living room where the rest of my family was and asked

“so, what do you think of Annabeth”

(this was my favourite chapter to write so far, thats why its slightly longer also sorry for the long wait, i started writing this chapter ages ago then it deleted its self then i moved to uni so havent really started writing again, sat down this evening and wrote the whole thing in one go. hopefully more chapters to come soon and please let me know what you think of the book so far. lots of love and all that crap)

[bazypitchandsimonsnow]

The Black Swan

Chapter 1

Rating: T

Genre: Fluff/Angst

Word count: 3731

Chapter: 1/17 (All chapters)

Summary: Prince Simon of Watford hates being a prince. He would rather be with his friends than try to learn tax policy. While adventuring in the scary woods with Penelope, Simon finds a strange boy who somehow transforms from a swan into a human when he sits on a lake. Simon immediately becomes fascinated with the boy and his mysterious existence. And as he learns more, Simon's feelings start to deepen. But when the stakes get higher, can those feelings triumph over their struggles?

Read on AO3

AN: Hello everyone, and welcome to my big bang! It's super long, I spent hours trying to fix stuff that I'm still not 100% on, and I'm very happy I actually did it. And I really do like it, I'm just way too critical of myself. I wrote this because A) I love fantasy AUs, B) I love the Swan Lake ballet, and C) I love the webcomic based on Swan Lake “The Prince and The Swan” by April Pierce which I recommend you all read it's awesome. So this an AU based off both the ballet and the comic. I'm posting the first two chapters today cause I feel like them together is a good start to the story. I'll be posting every monday and every other Thursday. 

Shoutout to my artist @bookerella who made amazing art for this fic. I’ll be linking her piece for this chapter at the end. And another shoutout as always to @carryonmylovelies because she has been my rock for the past five months through writing this fic and along with a lot of other struggles. She's the best and I love her with all my heart. And after all that, please enjoy the first two chapters of The Black Swan. Hope y'all like it :)

———————————————

Burning, everything was burning

The whole world was engulfed in flames and reeked of smoke. Simon didn’t know where he was. Only that this body wasn’t his. The arms were small, pudgy, that of a young boy. But he felt the muscles move and the skin heat up with the flames.  They licked at him but didn’t touch, bending away before contact.

“Darling, where are you?!” a woman’s voice yelled, followed by an ear piercing scream.

Simon started running immediately. He didn’t know why, just that he had to go. He ran past the creaking wood, the scorched stone, looking for where the voice was coming from. Consciously, he didn’t know who it was, but he knew he had to get to her. A burning beam nearly crushed his head, but he kept going. He needed to get to her.

“Mum!” His voice shouted. It wasn’t his though, yet it came from his mouth. Rather, it was a child’s voice, desperate and afraid. Simon could feel tears streaming down the boy’s face, created from smoke and fear.

“Where is she?” Simon asked himself from the boy’s mouth.

Another scream rang out. Simon started running again. He couldn’t see. There was too much debris and smoke and fire to find anything. But he reached her room eventually, using all his short might to force the doors open. The boy’s mum was standing right in the centre of a ring of fire. Her grey gown was in charred shreds, hair obscuring most of her soot covered face. A thick arm was wound around her neck. She was struggling to breath, from smoke and the person choking her.

“Mum!” he shouted with voice that wasn’t his again. “Stop hurting her!”

“Run,” she rasped out. The person with the thick arm looked at him. His eyes were piercing blue, filled with a killer’s rage. The boy backed up slowly. “Run!”

And so he ran. He was running as far as his little legs could carry him, ducking and weaving through the burning debris. She told him to run. So he would, he would do whatever she said. Run, run, run-

“Not so fast, brat.” The man grabbed his small fancy collar so hard he choked. His voice was smooth, confident, completely sure of his own power. “You’re not going anywhere. I’ve got other plans for you.

He tried to scream, but the man’s grip was too tight for speech. The burning world slowly turned black.

———————————————

“Simon. Simon. Simon!”

Simon jolted awake so hard his head smacked against his wooden chair. He whined as he rubbed the sore spot. King David stood over him from the other side of the desk. He had his hands on his hips, glaring at his adopted son with extreme disapprovement.

“Yes?” Simon grumbled.

“Were you sleeping when you were supposed to be studying battle techniques?” David asked in a way that meant he knew the answer.

“N-No,” the prince lied with a shaky voice. David kept glaring, and Simon sighed. “I’m just tired from studying, Father, sorry.”

David shook his head, crown shifting on his brown curls. “I’m disappointed, Simon. You’ve been the crown prince full time for a year now, you should know how to cope. I brought you here to be my heir. The least you can do is try.”

Simon picked at his nails, a nervous habit he still hadn’t broken over the years. Another thing David was disappointed in. “Sorry,” he mumbled.

“Words are meaningless, Simon. Do better. Now come along, we have a council meeting.”

Simon had to suppress a groan. He hated council meetings. They were always so boring. They made him really want to find the executioner so he could be put out of his misery.

He did up his embroidered tunic properly and put the gold circlet back on his head anyway. He wanted all these damn things off so bad. The circlet always got too hot and made his forehead sweat. And the formal attire was so damn itchy. Simon was never comfortable when he dressed like a prince. Even years later, he still wondered if David made a mistake, picking him to be his heir.

David pushed open the council room doors with flourish, green cloak flapping behind him. He always did it so much with flourish, always making a grand scene when he greeted the council. Penny would roll her eyes.

“All rise,” Sir Premal announced, “for his majesty, King David Owens of Watford. And for his royal highness, Crown Prince Simon Owens of Watford.”

The lords stood, hands clasped in front of them respectfully. They all look bored, as usual. Nobility weren’t allowed to enjoy themselves. Simon was pretty sure it was written in the Constitution of Watford Kingdom. Though some of their eyes flicked to Simon and narrowed. He could feel the contempt and snobbery radiating off them. He knew what some of them thought of him deep down; just a lowly orphan painted up to impersonate a prince. Simon couldn’t disagree. A lot of the time, he felt like that too.

David stood at the head with Simon right beside him on a smaller chair. Everyone’s chairs had to be smaller than David’s.

“Be seated,” the king said. All the hardwood scraped on the stone simultaneously. Simon desperately wanted to slump further, but he knew David would yell at him later. It wasn’t worth the ear ache.

The King opened his large leather bound ledger. He kept meticulous finance records. Many would say he was obsessive. And many would be correct. “Now, the tax increases have been fully implemented. Have you all of you have been collecting well?”

His tone made it incredibly clear that this was a question with specific answers. David’s questions always came with specific answers. The lords shifted minutely, the closest they’d ever come to protest, and replied with a monotone “yes” as they handed their bags of collected gold pieces. Not Lord Grimm though. He merely pushed down his burlap sack while staring straight ahead. He rarely spoke during these meetings. Simon assumed it was because David took his late wife’s throne, the same throne that was originally meant to be passed down to his late son but was now going to Simon. Simon couldn’t blame him. He wouldn’t like being constantly reminded of his family’s demise either. Maybe not talking made it easier.

“Good,” David said as he checked off every province. “Any disturbances from the people?”

“No,” the speaking lords replied.

“Wonderful.” David snapped his ledger closed. “Now, there’s the matter of the old Hampshire property. It’s fallen into complete disrepair over the past few years, what with Lady Fiona moving and no one else living there. I suggest we demolish it for building materials. The new castle extension needs stone. Any protests?”

No one spoke up, because David’s cold expression told them not to. Not even Lord Grimm said anything, which Simon found surprising. Hampshire was the oldest Pitch family property. They owned it before becoming the royal family. But he said nothing. Just stared ahead with a bored expression. Simon still instinctively shied away though. Lord Malcolm Grimm always looked like a white haired pit viper, calm most of the time but definitely could kill you in an instant. But today was a good day, because Malcolm simply looked at King David, and nodded.

David nodded back. “Good. Lord Grimm, please alert Lady Pitch of this. Are there any other matters we need to discuss?” All the lords stayed silent in response. ”Very well. You’re all dimissised. Farewell, your lordships.”

“Farewell, your majesty,” the speaking lords said.

What was the point of this? Simon thought. Less than five minutes so the King could take money from the rich people and announce he was destroying a historic building. Penelope said most of these meetings were just so David could flex his power. Simon liked to believe there was something more, but he had to admit she had a point. She was usually right.

As he and Simon were exiting, Malcolm put a hand on David’s shoulder. Simon stiffened. It wasn’t appropriate to touch a king. He remembered the day David first brought him to the castle. His new father had slapped him away when he tugged on his royal sleeve. “You ask permission to touch a king, Simon. Remember that,” he’d said. Simon had always kept to that rule, along with everyone else. Yet David didn’t look upset at Lord Grimm’s discretion. His eyes justs slid over to the side.

“Excuse my boldness,” Lord Grimm said smoothly, “but I have something to discuss with you, your majesty.” His cold brown eyes shifted to Simon. Simon tried not to gulp. “In private.”

Simon looked to his father. David nodded. “Go, Simon. I give you leave for the day.”

The prince grinned ear to ear. “Really?”

“Did I not just say so? Return by supper.”

“Yes, yes, Father, I will.” Simon was already going towards the exit as he spoke.

“Close the door on your way out.” David didn’t say please, because, “kings are above politeness, Simon.”

Simon nodded. “Yes, Father.”

As he was closing the door, Simon heard snippets of their extremely hushed conversation. Malcolm looked serious, David looked unamused.

“Insult...too long...,” Malcolm muttered.

“Very well...remember...know your place,” David replied.

Simon was too excited to leave to care for stupid royal dealings. He shut the door and immediately raced down the carpeted hallway. Past the dirty high ceilings and confining stone walls. Even though this castle was only a little over a decade years old, it had the fashions of somewhere old. David wanted it to look ancient, to make it look like his royal line was just as old as the Pitches were. Penny told Simon it was about ego or power or something. Simon didn’t care. He just wanted to leave it right now.

The second he reached his room, Simon stripped off his tunic, making his circlet hit the stone with a tink. He hopped around trying to get his pants off and nearly fell face first on the floor. That would be rich, Simon thought, a crown prince with a broken nose caused by his own inability to get out of his trousers. What a great future king I am, huh David?

Simon put on his loose white shirt and filthy riding pants. He wrapped an old scarf around his head, attempting to hide his distinctive bronze curls under the grey fabric. It wouldn’t stop everyone from noticing him of course, but it would stop enough. Enough that he could get to one particular place.

As the reluctant crown prince and graduated student of The Mage School, which sat just to the north of the castle, Simon had enough practice getting from royal property to the town quickly. He used the hidden passageways, weaving through the corridors with ease, greeting every servant by name as he passed by. He ended up in the kitchen, where Cook Pritchard was already preparing for supper.

“Hello, Mrs. Pritchard,” he said, hanging over her counter. “How’s the kitchen?”

“Oh, same old, same old,” she replied. “How’s castle business?”

“Boring, of course. Say, is that a spare scone?”

The cook gave Simon an amused look. “I believe so.”

Simon grinned brightly. Ebb told him he had a smile that could persuade armies to surrender. She was always so nice. “May I please have it?”

Mrs. Pritchard sighed overdramatically as she handed the pastry over. “Only because you asked so nicely, your highness.”

“I told you, call me Simon, please. Your highness is too long.”

“I would, but his majesty insists on formal titles. He’s quite...demanding.”

“Don’t I know it,” Simon grumbled, taking an aggressive bite of the scone. “Thank you, Mrs. Pritchard. Need anything from town?”

“No, no, I’m fine. Those carrots you found last week were lovely, thank you.”

“No problem! Thanks for the scone!”

Cook Pritchard waved as Simon dashed off. “You’re welcome, your highness, have fun!”

He absolutely would. He always had fun on days like this. Simon ran out the wooden doors, over the rawbridge, and across the great lawn. Ebb was standing there with her goat herd, magically trying to rein them in. She waved with her entire arm.

“Good morrow, Simon!” she yelled. Ebb didn’t care for formalities at all.

Simon waved back. “Good morrow, Ebb! Need anything from town?”

“Oh no, I’m alright. Just say hello to Penelope for me!”

“Will do!”

Simon ran over the grass and down the dirt road. The thick brush of the Wavering Wood separated the castle from Watford Town. Most used magic to reveal a path. But Simon didn’t trust his magic, so he knew the forest like the back of his hand instead. He made it through with ease, jumping over fallen branches and across the mossy ground, emerging into the sunlight on the other side. He immediately took a deep breath, exhaling with a long sigh. Outside the stone walls and merwolf moat, he could finally breathe.

Watford Town was the biggest collection of people in the Watford Kingdom. (Both were called Watford, which made geography lessons far too confusing in Simon’s opinion.) Large, tall houses lined busy dirt streets. Stalls were filled with people shouting out prices of their wares. Everyone was bustling and talking and laughing. Soldiers stood on street corners, watching everyone move. Simon strolled past all of them with hands in his pockets. A few of them went wide eyed seeing him, but most people didn’t even notice he was there. He sighed. This town was his real home. And he missed it all the time.

Simon walked through the downtown to the slight outskirts. He knocked on a familiar red door. A few footstep sounds later, it swung open, and Simon was looking Penelope Bunce right in the eye.

“Hey Pen,” he chirped. “Ebb says hi.”

Penny smirked. “Did you have to sword fight Davy to get him let you out during the day?”

Simon grinned even more. “Nope. He just let me go.”

“Wow. Is our good ol’ King going soft in his old age?”

“I’m not sure that’s possible,” he scoffed. “Can I come in? Or has your Mum finally officially banned me?”

Penny barked a laugh and steps to the side. “Like she could stop me. Get in here, you royal bastard.”

Simon whipped off his scarf off and stepped into the Bunce house. It was big, but not as big as the castle, and it felt much smaller with two adults and four children all together. Simon didn’t mind. He preferred the cozy family feeling here to his large, empty supposed palace.

“How’s the castle been?” Penny asked. Simon groaned and flopped on one of the chairs. “That good, huh?”

Simon grunted. “Bloody nightmare. I thought David was demanding while we were in school, but now he’s got me reading even more books. I think I’m going to slice my throat on a policy manual page one of these days.”

“Oh the horror of reading. Want tea?”

“Yes please. And I’m fine with reading interesting books. But these ones have too many complicated words and not enough pictures.”

Penny sighed heavily as she boiled the kettle with her wand. “I sometimes wonder why we’re friends.”

Simon twisted his head around towards the kitchen with his sunshine smile. “Because I’m nice and charming and you love me.”

“True, untrue, and yes, I do, despite my better judgement.” Penny turned to him. She was smiling a bit, but her eyes were sad. “It’s sort of weird, y’know, not seeing you everyday at school. It’s been almost a year, and it’s still weird.”

Simon sighed. He got up from the chair and strolled over to her. He draped himself over Penny like an affectionate ragdoll, chin on her head and arms around her neck. “I miss you too, Pen.”

Penelope sighed and sunk into his arms for a second. But then struggled out of his grip as the kettle whistled. “Yeah, yeah, I miss you, you big softy. Now get off me and let me make the tea.”

“Of course, will do.” He planted a big wet kiss on her cheek before flopping back to the chair. Penny soon brought over two cups with steaming tea. She took the seat opposite him, and sighed after a long drink. Her whole body relaxed. And it looked like she needed it.

“So,” Simon said, “how’s the new job?”

Penny groaned. “Horrible. You’d think there’d be better work here for a mage, but there seems to be little good use for us outside court or in the North where Micah is. Which means I’m stuck trying to sell cooking ware to people on the street.”

“I wish I could help, Pen,” Simon sighed. “If I become king, I’ll make you and Micah court mages. And you’ll be my head advisor and court mage, promise.”

She gave Simon a strange look over her cup. “You mean ‘when you’re king’, Simon, right?”

Simon sunk into his chair. He shrugged his shoulders high and slumped down. Penny slowly put her tea down and leaned forward. “Simon, you’re the crown prince. You were specifically chosen by King David to be his heir.”

“I know,” he grumbled.

“You can’t pretend you’re not anymore.”

“I know.”

“You have to accept the responsibility of-”

“I know!”

The whole house shook slightly. The side table fell over and a crack appeared in the nearby wall. Simon was horrified, his gut twisting with guilt. He put down his cup and rubbed his face up and down. Stupid magic,he thought, never listens.

“Sorry,” he groaned. “Sorry, sorry, I shouldn’t have lost my temper and this is your house and I’m damaging it. Sorry-”

“Hey, Simon,” Penny stepped out of her chair and stood in front of her friend. She put a hand on his shoulder. “It’s alright. I shouldn’t have pushed you. I just, I hoped you would have accepted this by now.”

Simon sighed, slumping forward. “Yeah, me too. Guess not.” He ran a nervous hand through his tangled hair. “I just don’t know how I’m supposed to be a king. I barely passed my civics classes, I hate policy, I’m terrible at speaking, I can barely use this supposedly amazing magic I have. I’m never going to be like David.”

“Dear Lord, I hope not.” Simon gave Penny a weird look. “Simon, King Davy has made some good changes, but he does it with an iron fist. He just barrels through no matter what the lords or the people say. That’s not a good ruler, that’s a tyrant.”

“Don’t call him that. He’s not all bad. He took me in.”

Penelope sighed, patting him kindly. “I know. Just, don’t try to be like David, Si. Be like you.”

Simon reached up and squeezed her hand. “Okay. And you’ll be my top advisor. Or bodyguard, like Premal.”

She groaned, immediately pulling away from her friend. “Please never compare me to my brother ever again. The boy has a stick jammed so far up his arse you could mistake him for a statue.”

“Too true. He’s so still and slomen that I sometimes I run into him.”

“Please keep doing that. It might make him loosen up.”

Simon sunk further into his chair. “Hm, I’ll try.” He sighed, rubbing his forehead. It still felt weird from his crown. It always did. “I don’t want to go back to the castle tonight. David’s going to make me read the geography book again.”

“Well,” Penny said playfully, “I’m not working tonight. We could go exploring the Wavering Wood, like our school days.”

“But we’ve explored all The Wavering Wood,” Simon whined. But quickly, like a lightning flash, an idea came into his wild head. He grinned mischievously. Penny instinctively leaned back.

“I don’t like that look, Simon.” She raised a cautious hand raised.

He stood up, hands on his hips in triumph. “We can explore the Forbidden Lands!”

Penny groaned. She shook her hanging head and walked towards the kitchen. As well as away from her insane friend. “I knew you would say that and I still can’t believe it,” she muttered.

“C’mon, Pen, it could be fun! We’ve been through the Wood enough. We’re old pros. This would be a new adventure!” He followed after her, practically vibrating behind her as she put away the tea blocks.

“Si, the Wavering Wood may be dense, but the Forbidden Lands are different. They’re actually treacherous. Lots of steep slopes and dangerous animals. We could get seriously hurt.”

Simon waved dismissively. “You’ve got good magic, I’ve got a sword, we’ll be fine.”

Penny gave him an unamused look over her glasses. But when Simon put on his pathetic pout, her resolve buckled. He hugged her from the behind. “Please Pen? We don’t even have to go that far in. I just want to go explore somewhere new, have some fun. Like the old days.”

She still looked unamused, but Simon pouted more, rubbing up against her hair like the affectionate puppy he sometimes was. “Please?”

Penelope stayed stoic for only a few more seconds. But soon enough she sighed, posture falling along with her resolve. “Fine,” she groaned, “we’ll go exploring.”

That made Simon, crown prince of all of Watford and most powerful mage in the land, squeal like an excited school boy. He jumped up and down while saying, “thank you, thank you, thank you!”

“I hope you know that if you die, it’ll be my head on a pike. So stay alive.”

“Of course! And I’ll pay you back. Get you some fancy herbs from the court mage’s cabinet.”

“I’ll hold you to that, Si.”

He hugged her tight again. “I wouldn’t expect anything else from you.”

Penny leaned against him. Simon put his cheek on her hair. He really did miss this. Mage’s School was tough, what with his lack of magical raising and previous poor schooling, but he met Penelope and Agatha. And for the first time in his life, he had real friends. He never thought he needed one until them. Now, he missed seeing them everyday so damn much.

Simon wanted an adventure. Like the great magical prince he thought he would be the day David took him in. Just one. That was all he needed.

———————————————

AN: If you're enjoying it so far, go to chapter 2 right here.

[kaheyama]

oh, little brother (1,771)

“Oh Shouto,” Dabi shakes his head and looks at Shouto pitifully, “don’t you recognise your own big brother?”

or, during a confrontation between Shouto and Dabi, the villain reveals something Shouto never expected to hear.

PAIRING: Dabi & Todoroki Shouto

RATING: teen and up audiences

TAGS: canon compliant, angst, dark, ish, dabi is a todoroki, dabi is todoroki touya, confrontations, reveal, mentioned todoroki family

read on AO3 or under the cut

There’s a moment of silence where everything is suspended; the heroes stare down the villains, vice versa. And then, they disperse. They run off in all different directions and the heroes follow suit, each tailing a single one.

Shouto follows his target into a room filled with vats. He wonders if this was done on purpose, if he was intentionally led into an area with plenty of hiding spaces and cover. He hears movement, and barely catches a glimpse of spiky black hair when he whips his head around. Just as he’s about to venture forwards, something comes up behind him.

Shouto’s reflexes take over, and he catches the hand before it can touch him. It doesn’t feel like normal skin, and he immediately realises who he’s about to face. He turns around slowly.

“Dabi?”

Surprisingly, the villain doesn’t attack. For some reason, Shouto doesn’t either. He isn’t sure why. There’s some part of him telling him to hold back, so he does. He’s still on high alert though, watching every bit of movement coming from the man in front of him. Right now, a wide grin is creeping across his scarred face.

“My, my! What are the chances! I must say, I am so glad you were the one to come after me. I’d been waiting for an opportunity like this. I even considered sneaking into your dorms, but,” he cocks his head, “that wouldn’t go well, would it?”

At a loss for words, Shouto can only stare. He doesn’t understand why the villain is so interested in him, and wonders whether he has a vendetta against Endeavour. Dabi walks around a bit, as much as he can with Shouto still grasping his wrist and eyeing him. He appeared amused at Shouto’s glare, but simply shrugged and continued. Once the silence lingers for a moment too long, however, he speaks again.

“Oh Shouto,” Dabi shakes his head and looks at Shouto pitifully, “don’t you recognise your own big brother?”

The words shock Shouto. He freezes in place. This can’t be true—it can’t be. He falters, and Dabi pulls his hand back. He raises both hands and walks around himself once before facing Shouto again.

“To be honest,” there’s an exaggerated expression of pain on the villain's face now, it seems like he’s mocking Shouto, “I’m a bit hurt. But then again, you were always kept away from us, weren’t you? Couldn’t let the ‘perfect product’ mix with the ‘failures’.” He spits that last one out with venom, and it makes Shouto recoil.

“I’d always felt sorry for you, you know? It broke my heart to hear your screams and cries, followed by Mum’s. I confronted your dad about it once, and he said ‘if you want me to stop, you should’ve been born with his quirk instead. Then, neither Natsuo nor Shouto would’ve been conceived’.” Dabi chuckled bitterly, a small blue flame alight above his left palm now. “That man was a monster. I rejected him as my father not long after he rejected me.”

The ball of fire swirls, growing larger, then shrinking, as Dabi plays around with it, watching it closely. He suddenly extends his hand outwards, and Shouto immediately goes into an offensive position, legs bent, stance low, ice already starting to form.

“Nuh-uh,” Dabi moves his finger from side to side, “I wouldn’t do that if I were you.” He leans forward, face right in front of Shouto’s, so that Shouto is staring into eyes the same colour as his left. His heart beats hard and fast, it’s loud in his ears. “Fire melts ice. And my fire? Beats yours.” He steps back, and Shouto feels like he can finally breathe again. “Besides, it’s not like I was actually going to hurt you. It was a peace offering, if you will.” Shouto narrows his eyes, sceptical, and Dabi lets out a bitter chuckle. “Come on, Shouto! Can’t we just talk? Brother to brother? Don’t tell me you’ve even forgotten my name!”

Shouto shakes his head desperately and tries to reply, but finds that the words are lodged in his throat. He feels like he’s choking, and knows that the next breath he takes will be in a new world—one he never would’ve imagined, but must face nevertheless.

“Tou— Touya,” he manages finally. “My eldest brother’s name is Todoroki Touya.”

Dabi tilts his head back upon hearing it, face up towards the ceiling, eyes closed, and takes in a massive breath, inhaling through his nose, out through his mouth. If Shouto had any doubts before, they’re all gone now. As he watches the villain take in the sound of his real name, he recognises all the details he seemingly missed before.

He was kept away from his siblings, yes, but they still lived in the same house. They were still family. He sees fire red hair, which wasn’t as pointed as it is now. He wonders if it’s styled so that it sticks out more. He sees turquoise eyes, with a speck of grey, the two colours reflected on his own face. He sees his older brother, right there in the flesh, as if he’d never left four years ago.

But then he blinks, and the image is gone. His vision is filled with black hair, as dark as night, and the familiar appearance of scarring, except these are purple in colour. It’s a villain who stands before him, whose organisation has wreaked havoc and caused pain. Shouto wants to ask what went wrong, how things ended up this way, but he thinks he already knows. He knows that Touya is gone too, now. He no longer exists.

Except, when Dabi makes eye contact again, when he talks in a tone without any hidden agendas, without a single hint of malice, Shouto has trouble believing his own words.

There’s a gentle smile on the man’s lips, and Shouto can only think of his oldest brother, who’d snuck out one night to check up on him after a brutal day of training, who held him and told him he’d be okay, he would make it through this and become stronger than ever, and better than anyone else. He spoke in a soft tone then as well, with a smile so sure Shouto couldn’t not believe him.

“How is the family?”

“They’re good,” Shouto replies, and it’s true. His mum seems happier every time he goes and sees her; his sister texts him exciting stories about work all the time, asking if things like that happen at U.A. too; he goes out with Natsuo here and there when they’re both free, making up for lost time. This is the closest they’ve been to actually being like a family, Shouto thinks. He doesn’t say any of this, though. For some reason he doesn’t think Dabi—Touya—has the right to know. The man nods slightly, as if he understands.

“Ah. That’s nice to hear. Fuyumi was always so sweet. She begged me so hard not to go, you know? On her knees and everything. It brought me to tears, honestly, and I almost listened. And Natsuo, oh Natsuo. I tried convincing him to join me once but… He said he couldn’t. There was you, and Fuyumi, and Mum. Someone had to stay to look out for you guys.”

“Nii-san knows?” Something resembling anger starts to blossom. Shouto doesn’t understand why Natsuo didn’t say anything, or even provide the smallest of hints that Touya was still alive.

“Well of course. We were always very close. For a while after we kept in contact, we’d meet up whenever we had the chance. After I got… settled, into my new life, I guess, we couldn’t see each other as often. And before I knew it, we stopped altogether. He didn’t know Dabi though, but I have no doubt he recognised me. These,” he holds up his arms, “are pretty hard to miss.”

Shouto… He doesn’t know what to say. Of all things, a family reunion was what he expected least. But as he looks at Dabi now, he wonders how easily that could’ve been him too. He thinks of how he’s going to tell Natsuo this, and how they could maybe work up to telling Fuyumi and Mum as well. It’s gotten him excited, strangely, like how he used to feel upon receiving a gift when he was a young child.

The first thing he was taught though, was to never let your guard down, and he’s reminded why when a portal suddenly appears between him and Dabi. The dark fog brings Shouto back to his first encounter with the villain, and the words he uttered then make so much sense now.

“Oh,” Dabi starts, “looks like we’ve finished.” He smiles again, but it’s no longer kind. Any remnants of Touya have vanished. In his place is a cruel, cold-hearted criminal. A killer too, as they’ve learned. “Don’t tell anyone, yeah? Or else those new friends of yours won’t be ‘friends’ anymore. I look forward to seeing you again, little brother.”

He steps into the portal and Shouto lunges at him. Before he can reach, however, Dabi unleashes a blast of fire, and Shouto barely manages to get a wall of ice up in time. The residual heat melts the ice, and once it’s all gone there’s nothing behind it. Dabi is gone. The room is now completely empty; the villains have escaped.

Shouto is left in a state of shock. He’s barely aware of his surroundings anymore; the sound of shouting and footsteps running in the distance is completely drowned out. He’s slowly brought to his knees, still in a daze, curling over so that his head touches the ground. He closes his eyes, takes in a single, deep breath, and then everything comes crashing down.

He starts to sob, uncontrollably, and it’s like when he first started using his quirk. He wasn’t able to restrain his ability, his fire and ice would clash and he’d be hurt in the process. It hurts now, too. A burning in his chest, something squeezing his heart so hard it feels like it’ll burst.

Suddenly there’s a very clear voice saying, “Hey, keep your chin up, okay?”. It’s something Touya used to tell him, before patting his cheeks and sneaking him a lolly, or toy. Shouto lifts his head now, and is greeted by a dark, dingy setting. He hears his name being called, and gets up to follow it. He falters before he steps out the door, pauses for a moment, but doesn’t look back.

It’s all in the past now.

[thewannaone]

Hi!! I loved your Harry Potter au for Wanna one and if you're familiar with the Percy Jackson series (most ppl aren't so I wouldn't be surprised tbh), could you do w1 as demi-gods? Like how they got to camp, their godly parent, camp life etc

omg no percy jackson used to be my life when i was in highschool thank you so much for this ask!!!!!!! im mainly familiar with the first 5 books though, i havent really kept up to date on the roman versions so it’ll just be camp halfblood. also if theres any inaccuracies i apologise, i havent read them in a while :(

Jisung: Son of Hestia. (I kno Hestia is a Virgin Goddess so this is very out of canon but Hestia just fits Jisung so well). Jisung was born at the Camp, rising out of the Hearth itself. He was raised by Chiron, growing up and learning about the Gods and his Powers from day 1. He goes to school and university during the terms but for the most part he stays at camp, tending to their home. All campers know him, he’s the oldest camper there. Jisung has minor Pyrokinesis abilities, just small things like candle lighting. He often works in the kitchen, cooking up food for the BBQs. He also can sense when new campers will arrive and can often tell which cabin they belong to. He’s very caring and warm, making everyone feel welcome and often being the life of the party who everyone laughs with. He doesnt participate in Capture the Flag but loves cheering everyone on. Lives in the Big House with Chiron. Close to all the campers but becomes closest with Ong and Daniel, watching over them and keeping their powers in check. 

Sungwoon: Son of Demeter. Had a pretty normal upbringing even though he used to get weird looks as a kid for singing to plants. Grew up pretty average, even with his ADHD and dyslexia. Thought he was a really normal guy, nothing special, wouldnt achieve anything. When he reached 15 his Dad told him about his Mother and Sungwoon didn’t believe him whatsoever. Until a Satyr named Taehyun showed up at his house telling him to pack his stuff for camp before a monster killed him. Was very quick to believe then. Hangs out mostly with Taehyun at camp, though hes a lot better at agriculture stuff like gardening and cooking than training. Often sings at campfires and enjoys Capture the Flag once in a while. Used to be really terrible with his powers, always accidentally tripping Taehyun with a vine, but with practise is getting better. 

Minhyun: Son of Athena. His Father was a scientist who married another woman after Minhyun was born. He grew up thinking the woman was his Mother and didn’t learn the truth until he was attacked by a Hellhound at school. Fashioned a weapon out of his own stationary and got away with his life. Demanded answers out of his Dad but his Dad was ashamed of his Godly heritage and tried to hide it from him, calling him an abomination. Left home and eventually was given a sign by Athena as to the Camps location. Arrived at the camp safely and it didn’t take long for Chiron to explain his true heritage. He’d studied enough Greek Mythology growing up to understand quickly. Was placed in Hermes cabin until his first capture the flag game where he won using his wits and battle skill. Athena was impressed and claimed him almost instantly. Now lives full time at the camp but goes back to school during terms. Is one of the older campers and most well known. Younger campers are often scared of him and think hes too cold but he turns out to be super nice and caring, always helping them train and practise. Close with Son of Ares, Dongho, Son of Hecate, Ren and fellow Son of Athena, Jong who’s also Counselor of their cabin.

Ong: Son of Poseidon. Similar to Percy in that growing up he had a bit of a troubled childhood and was kicked out of school a few times. Was pretty young when his Mum was killed by a Manticore and spent a few years on the street, sleeping down by the docks or on the beach, hopping from place to place and not knowing what to do. It was only by fate that he stumbled upon the Camp and Chiron was very confused as to how and why he’d found it. Was put into Hermes cabin for a while and was happy to accept that his father was the God of Tricksters. Was almost disappointed when Poseidon claimed him but then was told he’s one of the most powerful demigods and was cool. Really good at capture the flag, one of the best players on the teams. Also pretty good at battle training, has very good reflexes. Also enjoys horseriding and chariot racing but is abysmal at studies and theory. Is kinda weirded out by his water powers initially but grows to love them. Even though he’s friends with everyone, he’s kinda sad that he’s the only one in his cabin, as well as the only Big 3 child so often spends time at the bottom of the lake when hes lonely. Is disappointed with the fact that even though he’s one of the most powerful, so far he’s never been given a quest.

Jaehwan: Son of Dionysus. Grew up in an orphanage and was pretty down on his luck his entire life. Went into foster care but left as soon as he was of age, kicked out of schools, found a shitty job and tiny one room apartment and did his best to keep up with his studies. Flunked out a lot due to his dyslexia. Once he reached a certain age his powers got stronger and he accidentally drove his classmate to insanity, leading him to run away again. Around this time, he was found by 2 other demigods, Sewoon and Gwanghyun who were on a quest,  and they helped him find his way to camp. Greeted by a very confused Dionysus who wondered why he looked so familiar. Ends up becoming good friends with Dionysus and enjoys helping him with camp organising. It wasn’t until they were bonding over a can of diet coke when the god finally realised that Jaehwan was his son. Jaehwan initially didn’t want to move into his cabin since he resented his father for abandoning him but they eventually are able to become close once again. Realises he’s not very good at the plant control powers (tho sungwoon tries to help him) but very good at mania and insanity which is useful at times (tho many campers think he himself is insane when they hear him laugh). Enjoys playing guitar and singing with Sewoon by the campfire and a lot of campers think he should have been an Apollo child with his skills.

Jihoon: Son of Aphrodite. Grew up in a rich family, was very used to having things go his way and people listening to him. Almost to the point of a spoilt brat. Was the most popular boy in his class and had admirers from all of his classmates. The day a Harpy showed up and attacked him, Jihoon used his Charmspeak to convince it to leave him alone. Constantly did that with monsters who attacked him, allowing him to grow up without needing the camp. Was found by a satyr who was surprised he was so unscathed and offered to take him to camp. Jihoon initially refused, saying he didn’t need protection with his power but reconsidered after his Charmspeak failed him and almost cost him his life. Was claimed almost instantly by Aphrodite, didnt need to spend any time in Hermes cabin. Is the prettiest camper, even by Aphrodite standards and constantly has both girls and boys falling for him. Is always competing with Samuel from Apollo’s cabin who arrived at Camp at the same time as him and for some reason, is immune to his Charmspeak. Jinyoung teases him saying its cause Jihoon has a crush on Samuel but Jihoon refuses to believe it. Jihoon often participates in Capture the Flag and battle training, moreso than other Aphrodite campers and is one of the most skilled fighters. Ends up going on a quest and becoming very close with Samuel, Daehwi, Woojin and Jinyoung.

Woojin: Son of Hermes. Grew up with an abusive stepfather and alcoholic Mother. Ran away from home pretty early and found a group of homeless kids named Youngmin, Donghyun and Daehwi. Youngmin took care of them for a year, slowly trekking them across the country where he revealed himself to be a satyr and that the other 3 were demigods. They were all put into Hermes cabin at first, with Daehwi and Youngmin being claimed quite early on. Woojin stayed in Hermes cabin, kinda alone with so many kids around him and unable to make friends, waiting to be claimed by his Godly parent. When the Oracle announced a quest with him, Samuel, Jihoon, Daehwi and Jinyoung everyone was very confused, wondering why an unclaimed camper would be part of a quest. It wasn’t until the day they were leaving when Hermes himself stopped by to give Woojin some winged shoes and his blessing. Woojin got a loooot of praise from other campers for getting the attention of his Father. Ended up being an asset on the Quest, picking locks and avoiding traps and very skilled at sneaking past monsters. Gets very close to all of his quest mates and gains the attention of the other campers when he gets back and shows off his skills in capture the flag and training. Becomes a lot more social and proud of himself.

Jinyoung: Son of Hades. Was a weird kid growing up, kinda a loner. Used to see ghosts and his Mother took him to therapy until he learned to just keep quiet about it. He faded into the background a lot and was shy around living human beings. Accidentally Shadow Travelled to camp one day, ending up in Hades Cabin and being extremely confused and shocked as to how he got there. Stumbled out of the Cabin into the arms of Daehwi who immediately took him to Chiron where he passed out. Woke up to see a bunch of demigods and satyrs around him wondering how he managed to enter Hades cabin. Theyre all very surprised to hear that he Shadow Travelled and therefore must be one of the Big 3. Jinyoungs initially sad to learn that theres only one other Big 3 child (Ong) and that he has no cabin-mates. Gets called on the quest however and grows closer to them all, especially Daehwi who shines very brightly to him. Daehwi and Jihoon are both very intrigued by his ghost friends and Jihoon is a bit too interested in his undead army. Like Woojin, becomes more open and skilled with his powers as time goes by. 

Daehwi: Son of Apollo. Grew up on the streets at a very early age and never knew his Mother. Was found by 2 older boys Donghyun and Youngmin who became his family. Was able to predict another boy joining them and travelling to Camp together. Woojin was very surprised when Daehwi already knew his name. At Camp, Daehwi was claimed very early, his musical and healing abilities, plus oracle like predictions were too great to ignore. He thrives in the Apollo cabin, sometimes when he gets happy he ends up glowing. His best forte is archery and his golden bow is his main weapon. He loves composing, singing and dancing, anything to do with music. He’s ok at Capture the Flag but prefers more artsy activities. He becomes very close with Jinyoung which leads people to be confused seeing as Jinyoung is dark and Underworld and Daehwi shines like the sun. But they make it work. 

Guanlin: Son of Hephaestus. Grew up in an average family and went to a special school for kids with learning difficulties. Met his best friend Seonho there who also had dyslexia and ADHD and they bonded. Guanlin was always really good at the craft section, creating things and tinkering with objects. One day he saved Seonho from a chimera that attacked him at a construction site. Guanlin controlled the machines and managed to banish it. Both were very confused as to how he did it and Seonho exclaimed that he must be a superhero. A satyr found them soon after that when Seonho kept asking Guanlin to practise his powers on little machines, like his nintendo to get Shiny Pokemon. Wound up in camp together and Seonho joined Hebes cabin. Guanlin started living in Hephaestus’s cabin and everyone was so thankful that he didnt have pyro powers given his lack of awareness at times. Is very good with his hands though, and even though hes quiet, makes the best weapons and ends up creating the magical items for the other 10 members. Ends up going on a quest with them all and, while sad to leave Seonho behind, grows close to the rest of them.

Daniel: Son of Zeus. The newest camper. Doesn’t know his past, just woke up one day and is outside the camp. Knows only his name is Daniel and that he misses his cats. The day that he arrives, it’s announced by the Oracle (Eunki) that he shall lead a Quest made up of 10 other campers. No one knows why this random, new kid who hasnt even been claimed, nor knows who he is, will be able to lead. Ong is jealous that he gets given a Quest immediately while he has had to wait for years. Ends up clashing with Ong, who calls forth his water powers to attack him from the lake. Daniel accidentally loses control and brings forth a storm. Jisung watches worridly from the side and tells Ong to calm down. The storm gathers and begins to rain as all the campers run out to see the two circling each other. Before Daniel can stop it, lightning strikes Ong out of no where and he collapses, needing immediate medical attention and is carried off to the Big House. The rest of the campers show disdain for Daniel as he’s escorted to Zeus’ cabin. Chiron explains to him that Ong is a Big 3 son and therefore there might be continually clashes between them. Daniel is apologetic, being there for Ong to wake up so he can apologise. Ong’s pride is hurt but says he wouldnt mind having someone else who understands what its like being a child of the Big 3. They grow closest together, much to the surprise of everyone and work on their powers influencing each other, creating storms and hurricanes together. Daniel becomes the best player in Capture the Flag, though Jihoon and Ong both rival him. A month into his stay at the Camp, Eunki announces the rest of the team that shall take on the Quest and also lets Daniel know that his memories shall be found on this journey, though he may not want to know them. (These memories are his past where a younger demigod, Woojin, was killed by a monster and Daniel was unable to protect him. In his grief, he lost control of his powers, creating such a storm that he begged the Gods to take away his pain, leading to his amnesia). 

The 11 of them take on the Quest with new weapons built by Guanlin such as Imperial Gold sword for Daniel and a small thin rapier for Jihoon. Though interactions with monsters and minor gods, they save each other and manage to complete the Quest, bonding and becoming a family. 

[chameleon-cryptid]

Regress (Bex)

((Bex is seven years old))

((okay, this is...really long.))

((also I’m not actually regressing them so much as telling a story from when they were children, i’ve realised))

((oh well))

“Bex’li do not even think of getting up from that desk until you’ve finished reading that section!” The Nelhah matriarch said from the kitchen. 

It was like she could see through walls! Bex’li froze at her words, one tiptoe touching the ground as he was getting up to sneak off. He sighed and sat back on the chair, looking at the book forlornly. The section was on animals of the Shroud. He supposed he should have been interested in the animals, and if someone had shown him pictures of them or asked him to draw them, he would have been. But reading wasn’t a strong point. And this section was a further six pages. It would likely take him till dinner time till he finished.

“M-uuuuuum. I want to play with Ex’a and Toto.” The boy whined. All the boys in his family had nicknames. Ex’a was the oldest son. He was approaching thirty and possibly the coolest person seven year old Bex’li knew. Carefree, charismatic and prone to practical jokes, he always had time to pick Bex’li up and play with him. Toto was the middle son. Serious and incredibly smart, it was unlikely that he’d want to ‘play’, but Bex’li so rarely saw his brothers, he still didn’t want to waste this time reading. Bex’li, the youngest son and last child his mother would have was affectionately known as Bun.

Once a cycle, the whole family would meet up at the house in the East Shroud.He had four sisters, Sami, Teqe, Bren, and Ahne, Sami and Teqe were old enough to be his mothers. They were much like his own mother, confident, and smart and had children of their own. Most older than Bex’li. They both would be proud matriarchs of their own branches of the Nelhah clan one day and they would do it well. Bren was quiet, and easily influenced. She generally seemed annoyed by fact that she was required to attend these reunions at all. Ahne was his closest in age sibling. She was still eleven years older than him but he was closest to her as they had actually lived together for the last six years before she’d moved out. Ahne had a dry sense of humour but was social and flirty. She looked exactly like his mother minus twenty-five or so years.

All of the children had beautiful unmarked pale skin and chocolate brown hair as his mother did in her youth. He was the odd one out.

“You can play with Ex’a and Toto when you’ve finished your reading.” She said.

Just then, his two older brothers wandered in. Bex’li’s little ears shot up excitedly and his tail wagged. 

“Hey Bun. Mum making you do reading today? How cruel!” Ex’a laughed and sat on the desk, Bex’li was behind. 

“I know! This is going to take ages. I’m not going to be able to leave til dinner!” he pouted trying to garner sympathy.

Ex’a looked properly sympathetic while Toto went around and looked at the book. “Oh! I remember reading this. It’s not so difficult.” He said as he pushed up his glasses.

Bex’li frowned. Toto was incredibly smart. The smartest of all his mother’s children. Of course he didn’t have any difficulty with it. Bex’li was slow to read anyway. His mother had told him that in fit of frustration. None of her other children had had trouble reading but he was being obstinate and if he’d just concentrate he’d be able to read fine. But to Bex’li it wasn’t that simple. He could remember shapes and patterns of things if he had to draw them.But reading them to form words which would form sentences which made ideas was hard.

“I’m just..having some trouble with these words.” he pointed to a random word.

“Well, look, sound it out: Ah. Nn. Deh. AhNnDeh. Aaannd. And.” Toto tried to explain.

Bex nodded but frowned. 

“Try the next one.” 

Bex’li looked at the word. “Ah,,, Nn.. OH! And! It must be And again!”

His brothers snorted with laughter.

“No, Bun, that word isn’t even remotely the same as And. It’s like..three times as long. You can’t just look at the first two letters and guess!” Toto chuckled. “Try again.”

Bex’li frowned but did so. “Ah. Nn. Teh. Ant!”

Ex’a laughed some more though Toto furrowed his brow, staring at his little brother.

“Bun, the letters keep going. You can’t just stop half way through a word.”

Bex’li pouted. “But by the time I get to the end of the word I’ve forgotten the sounds at the beginning so all I have are sounds and they don’t go together if you can’t remember the first sounds.”

“I think mum dropped you on your head at birth.” Ex’a laughed. It wasn’t meant to be unkind and there was no menace in his voice but Bex’s ears drooped considerably.

Toto gave Ex’a a sharp look then looked back to his brother. “It really doesn’t matter if you have trouble reading, Bun. You’re really good at drawing flowers. I’ve seen your botany illustrations for mum’s alchemy books. They’re amazing. Plus, with that red hair...it’s likely girls will single out you for breeding even before me. You’re interesting looking.”

“Are you saying they’re going to choose  him, a THIRD born over me?” Ex’a suddenly challenged Toto.

“I’d choose him over you if I was a girl because you’re an arsehole. But no, I said they’d choose him over ME.”

“You’re delusional. That’s not how it works, and you know it. Don’t feed him lies. Being pretty isn’t enough, and he looks like a Seeker.” Ex’a growled.

“There’s more to life than breeding, anyway.” Toto retorted.

“Just because you’re not getting laid doesn’t mean others aren’t. Maybe get your own nose out of a book once in a while, and you’d see.” Ex’a said then stormed out of the room.

Toto sighed. He straightened his glasses frowning. “Just because one isn’t impregnating people doesn’t mean they aren’t getting laid.” he says more to himself than anyone. 

Bex’li didn’t get it. But he wasn’t paying attention. He was still hurt from his eldest brother’s words. Not because they were mean, but because he knew they were true.

Toto looked back to Bex’li then and knelt beside his chair. “Listen, Bun, maybe what Ex’a says is right. Maybe girls will never choose us over him. He is a shining example of Keeper breeding after all.” he snorts then carries on. “But you know what? We’re the lucky ones. We’re free. It’s not so important that we mate. We can be city Miqo’te. No..don’t give me that look. It’s a -good- thing. We can go to the city and meet all the different people. Different races. We don’t have to worry about procreation.We can fall in -love-. Fall in love with -anyone-. Elezen, Hyur...girls..boys. Whomever we want. We can become academics or...artists. Whereas he has to spend so much time on the hunt. On proving he’s good breeding. We don’t have to do that.”

Bex listens but he frowns a little at the end. “But...do you think my dad was a Seeker?”

Toto looked at him for a long moment then shook his head. “Nah, Mum wouldn’t have a Seeker. Look Bun, someday, someone’s going to look at your hair and freckles and they’re going to think you’re so handsome they don’t care if maybe somewhere in his line, your dad had a Seeker ancestor. And they’re going to think you’re so nice and wonderful, they won’t care if you don’t like reading. And you’ll look at them, and see the flaws they see in themselves, and they’ll be endearing to you. At least that’s ...how it was for me.” He says with a small smile then reaches up to ruffle Bex’li’s red curls.

“So don’t you worry about what Ex’a says. Part of  being a first born son is you have to be an arsehole.” He grins then grabs the book and shuts it and calls out his mother. “Mum, Bun’s read out the pages to me aloud. I’m going to take him outside to play.” He winked at Bex’li.

Bex’li ‘s ears perked back up and he beamed at his older brother.

“All right but can you please not throw him in the water like you usually do?” Their mother said.

“I’m making no promises, Mum. It builds character.” He says then grins. “Come on Bun.” he said and ran out. 

Bex’li was ecstatic. He forgot about the words Ex’a had said and jumped out of his chair, chasing after his older brother.

[imagineclaireandjamie]

Can Jamie and Claire act like love sick teenagers and go on a cute date that ends in skinny dipping or some other fairly public shenanigans?

The Getaway:

The baggage trolley rattled as Claire pushed it across the shiny airport floor, its left wheel clicking against the broken mechanism that held it staunchly in place. 

“...and you are going to get on with poor Jamie this time, aren’t you my darling?” Her mother crooned, kissing her forehead as she steered them all towards the check-in desk..

Rolling her eyes, Claire turned from her parents, waiting until her tell-tale blush had subsided before twisting back round, a large fake smile plastered across her face.

“Of course, mum.”

Recalling their last encounter, Claire felt almost ashamed.

Hate was the wrong word, of course. And she hadn’t meant to give the poor boy a black eye *or* gripe at him for most of the break, but, she had.

The actual reason for her clumsiness and general distemper was of quite obvious to those looking clearly at the situation.

Claire Beauchamp was in love.

Her parents had been taking easter getaways and summer holidays with the Fraser’s for years, and Jamie and Claire were well acquainted. But since the family move when the pair were just fifteen, the bi-annual Beauchamp/Fraser trip had been postponed.

Since they'd re-ignited this tradition, the previous year, Jenny and William, the oldest Frasers had gone to university and no longer required her parents for vacations.

Claire and Jamie had been left to their own devices for much of the trip. The tall Scot had been friendly, as always, but his ever present jolly attitude, twinned with his glorious baby-blue eyes had Claire’s stomach in constant knots.

Sitting in the departure lounge, she mused over their final few days together. She had so desperately wished for him to kiss her. But being a blissfully ignorant, seventeen year old male, Jamie had been unaware of Claire’s unspoken desires.

Instead, Claire had slipped as she’d fumbled over the wet rocks on the beach, her humiliating attempts at flirting going unnoticed. Falling backwards, she had thrown her elbow out in attempt at re-centring herself, catching Jamie unawares and landing him with a very large bruise that ran over his eye and down his cheek.

But that was last year, Claire reminded herself, shaking off the memories. This year would be different. No longer would she fawn over him like a lovesick teenager. No, her last year at college had taught her (if nothing else) that boys were *not* to be trust, and Jamie Fraser would be no different.

As the final boarding call rang out over the tannoy, Julia tapped her daydreaming daughter on the shoulder, grabbing her carry-on bag as she nodded her head towards the gate.

“Time to go, Claire. Don't worry,” Julia whispered, wrapping Claire in a tight hug as they followed behind Henry, down onto the tarmac, “you don't have to spend time with anyone you don't wish too.”

Tapping his foot against the beautiful marble stonework of his hotel room, Jamie sat and waited. His parents, too excited at the arrival of their friends, had rushed off to greet Julia, Henry and Claire as they'd arrived on the complex.

But he had stayed away.

He knew now, rather belatedly as his father had so accurately pointed out, that now-not-so-wee-Claire Beauchamp had felt an undercurrent of *ardor* for him.

Alas, by the time Brian had enlightened his son on the mysterious machinations of a young girl's mind, the Beauchamp’s had departed and Jamie had been abandoned, bruised face and all.

This year, he reasoned, it would be different.

His heart raced at the thought of seeing Claire once more.

At fifteen she had been medium height, very skinny with large sea-blue eyes. Not uncommon to many other girls he attended school with.

But at seventeen, the year previous, she had been a tall statuesque beauty.

Something to be noticed for sure. She was captivating, alluring and coquettish but quick and intelligent with it.

It was fair to say Jamie had fallen head over heels for the lass. But, even as a young man with fresh blood running through his veins, he was determined to be a gentleman.

By the end of their holiday, though, Jamie had been forced to walk away, a broken heart and a black eye to boot.

The key clicked in the lock as Brian and Ellen entered the small single room, twin smiles plastered over their faces.

“Are ye ready, laddie? Henry and the ladies are going to meet us by the pool if ye wish to join us,” Brian asked, a cheeky twinkle in his eye as he ruffled his son’s thick red hair. “I think they’d like to see you again, since ye were determined to hide awa’ here just the now!” He quipped, laughter in his voice as he grabbed Jamie’s towel for him.

As the Fraser’s left their rooms, Ellen grasped hold of Jamie’s hand, holding him back as Brian marched on ahead.

“Jamie, my boy, I ken how ye feel fer the lassie, and I ken how she felt for you before we left the last time,” she began, a hint of warning in her tone. Jamie’s heart skipped a beat and then picked up pace as he felt a small shudder roll down his spine at his mother’s words. “But go easy on her to start wi’. Her mam says she’s had a tough year.”

The ding of the lift pulled him from his thoughts as he squashed inside the small cart with a number of other guests on their way down, his palms sweating as the heat built in the small space.

*A tough year*, what did that mean, he pondered, his mind debating all manner of dark possibilities.

Whatever had occurred, back in England, he thought, he would still treat her as he would have without the warning.

A wave of heat hit Claire as she stepped from the air-conditioned safety of the hotel lobby out onto the scorching terrace. The poolside was lined with empty sunloungers, perfectly placed for her to enjoy a cool breeze off the water as she read her books.

No longer trapped in the chilled British spring, Claire threw off her flip flops and bent to take them in her free hand, scooping them between her fingers as she enjoyed the warmth of the patio tiles as it soaked through her soles.

“Good morning Claire,” came a voice from behind her.

Startled, Claire jumped as she turned, knowing immediately who the deep Scots burr belonged to.

“Good morning, Jamie,” she returned, licking her lips as she held her flimsy sandals to her chest, her book wedged neatly under her other arm as she twisted her elbow to keep it solidly in place. “How have you been?” The question came out with a tentative edge, making Claire feel even more awkward.

“I’ve been well, thank ye. We missed you yesterday,” Jamie replied, tipping his head to the left as he twisted his towel between his fingers.

Claire’s lips twitched into a small smile at his coyness. She hadn’t wanted to be part of the welcoming committee on their first day, and so had opted to stay in her room for the afternoon leaving Jamie alone with the adults. 

Still as endearing as ever, Jamie Fraser was growing more and more handsome by the day. Butterflies swam in her tummy as they stood in comfortable silence, the soft swish of the pool water sloshing against the sides of its large basin reverberated around them as Jamie stepped closer.

Claire focused on the soft slap of his shoes against the terracotta bricks of the small porch, letting his calm aura surround her so as not to overwhelm her as he tapped his feet, his body obviously filled with nerves. His close proximity once would have caused her heart to race in desire. Only a year ago she’d wished for this more than anything else. Now, she’d have happily turned on her heel and darted away.

After her last stunt, though, she was more aware of her ability to injure Jamie in the heat of the moment. Helpfully, that stunted her need to flee.

“Yer mam said…” Jamie began, noting her suddenly closed off body language. She didn’t even seem aware of how hunched her shoulders had become but it had only made Jamie more desirous of making her comfortable. “Weel, she said ye’d seen some trouble last year. I dinna mean to pry...but are ye no’ well?”

Sighing, Claire flicked her head towards the beach at the bottom of the hotel pool. Being as early as it was, very few people lined the shores leaving it looking fairly empty.

“I’m not sick, Jamie. Would you like to find somewhere to sit? We can chat, if you like…”

Perching themselves on the sunbeds closest to the entrance to the public beach, Jamie and Claire sat side by side.

“You know, don’t you?” She began again, her cheeks flaming as she watched the recognition light behind Jamie’s eyes.

“Aye, da told me. Ye must think me daft, eh?”

“No,” she returned, quickly, “I don’t, not at all. But my mum was right with what she told you. This year,” pausing, Claire took a rather large breath, her fingers drumming relentlessly against the hardback cover of her novel, “was rough.”

“Ye dinna need to tell me anything, Claire.” Jamie said, the softness in his tone causing Claire’s taut muscles to loosen slightly, “but I like ye, too. And I’m willing to treat ye well. Willing to wait for ye to be ready for anything, or nothing should ye just need a friend, aye?”

Smiling shyly, Claire curled a loose lock of her hair around her finger, twisting the few strands of golden brown over and over as she let his words sink in.

*He liked her.*

“Friends?” She broached, the lilt of her voice hinting at something more as she looked over at him, their knees almost touching as the sun rose above them.

“Friends…” he replied, a gentle hush on the mediterranean breeze, “aye, Claire.”

[thisselflovecamebacktome]

Things I wish you understood - Part six out of God knows how many.

I wish you understood that I can honestly say that I feel like I’m never going to be enough. More so, I wish you understood that the scariest day of my life was the one I realised I don’t think I’ve ever felt like I was enough. And I know so many people would laugh at this and say that it’s all horseshit because I don’t give a shit what strangers think of me, and they’d be right. But just because I don’t care what strangers think anymore, doesn’t mean I can say the same for people I love. Because here’s the thing, I’ve never been secure enough to feel like the people who I love around me see me as enough, and that kills me.

Growing up, I was a bigger child who loved her food, and while I rarely felt bullied by my peers, my family never let me forget. I wan’t old enough to understand the situation at the time, but I still remember the time my grandfather, the one who everyone claimed made it clear that I was his favourite, called me garbage guts in front of my whole extended family, most of which laughed at the comment. My grandmother was the only one to call him out on it, causing an argument over whether it was a joke or not. Similarly, I just always felt my family always found me too loud, moody and just plain different from them. 

Well, except for my dad (with the exception of moody), another man who said I was his favourite, but anyone who has known him long enough will tell you that his number one will always be himself and he’s willing to chuck anything, including his favourite things, away if need be for self gain. I learned that the hard way last year when he cut contact for no particular reason only to pick up contact when it suited him... months after he contacted my half brother who isn’t his and my sister who abused him and the rest of the family. And I want to make it clear that I have no beef with him having contacted my half brother, they were always the most alike so it made sense. But to contact me after my sister who abused us all? That stung.

My mum was different too. Like she would never openly say I was too anything, but whether intended or not, she’d have the same effect with the comparisons she’d make. Growing up just felt like a competition between me and my siblings with her as the judge. And don’t get me wrong, I know for a fact that my sister felt the same way, but it still felt personal. Because here’s the thing, when compared to my siblings, my strengths were things they could achieve given the effort was put in (school grades being the major one) while their strengths were personality traits and interests that contradict who I am as a person. I mean my half brother is just always going to be her baby despite being the oldest due to her quoting him as the thing that saved her from post pregnancy depression, so we’ll leave him out of the equation for now. My sister was outgoing, impulsive and loved cooking, shopping, dancing and the same music as my mother which made it really easy for them to spend time together. Meanwhile I liked different music and reading and writing, two things my mother hates, so I often got the ‘I wish you were more like your sister’ line. 

And that alone would have been okay because like I could have been okay with knowing my mother was proud of my academics. But here’s the thing, I was never quite the best, even when I had straight As. Like depending on who I had in my classes, I would sometimes top some of the academic ones, but typically there was one girl in particular who would top everything, and she was the one my mum would compare me to academically. Now I want to say that I have absolutely nothing against this girl. She has earned every A she ever got. But I’d be lying if I said we were really ever on equal footing. This girl openly admitted to me that she had a really good family life, relatively good mental health and was wealthy with good contacts, none of which I have been blessed with at this point. And trust me, I get that these things don’t guarantee success, but anyone who tells you they don’t help is full of shit to be honest. Regardless though, I don’t think my mum really understood until recently what a difference it can make. 

As well as this, in the last two years she’s also compared me a lot to my dad, probably because I look just like him. For those who don’t know, she hates everything to do with my dad. And honestly? Every word of that translates when she’s talking to me. The tone, the words. literally everything she says to me is just so different than when she talks to my half brother who looks like her. I don’t doubt she’d deny that it’s the similarities between my dad and I, especially looks wise, that has caused a lot of the furthering of the rift between us in a time where we should be at our closest, but it definitely feels like that on this end and probably always will.

Unfortunately for me, every one of these little instances and more stuck, and looking back, I’ve see how it bled into other aspects of my life. For a lot of my childhood, I somehow formed a superiority yet inferiority complex. I’m not really sure how to explain it, but I was insecure as fuck and yet I somehow felt that my academic grades made me superior because I was going to have a “better” life than those who didn’t stack up in that regard. Thankfully I took my head out of my ass at some point and realised I was being a prick, but it does mean I placed a lot of self worth on being “smart”, which was all well and good until I was placed in a bell curve system school at my worst mental illness wise and realised just how average at best I was. Honestly though, it hadn’t set in just how much this has affected me in the long run until a few weeks ago when that same girl from above got her bachelors in a single degree. Like I haven’t seen this girl for literal years, am doing a double degree course in two fields that are seen as more academic than the one she did (which I once again stress doesn’t make me better, but considering how much worth I have put on academics in the past logically should have made be feel better) and yet I felt so low knowing I’m only half way through my course and she’s ready to take on the world because I grew up putting so much emphasis on academics and keeping up with people like her that even the thought of not fucks me up emotionally. And once again, I would like to push that this has nothing to do with her, she has done nothing wrong, my thoughts have just been that severely skewed and I need to find a way to fix it.

Along with the push on academics, I’ve realised just how not feeling like enough has made me unhealthily insecure, jealous and clingy. These are all things I’ve worked on and can honestly say I’ve gotten better at with time, but I’ve still got a long way to go. They are also things I didn’t perfect early enough, and as a result, people got hurt. To be honest, there’s one person in particular I think about when I think of this, and while I won’t pretend all the fault was on me in that situation, my insecurity and perhaps clingy nature made me act in ways that were so out of line. I said things I perhaps shouldn’t have and made a lot of people think I don’t/didn’t like her, when really I was just hurt and lashed out. All because they broke off a friendship without saying goodbye. Similarly, I’ve also nearly broken friendships by being clingy, jealous and expecting to be certain people’s number one priority at all times.

But I think the most damaging area is the fact that I’ve become so insecure over losing people that I’ve psychologically forced myself to hold onto and be close to people, memories and things that I shouldn’t. Some people see it as being like the glue that holds everything together, but really it’s not. If anything, it’s like being blue tack. You hold everything together to an extent, but eventually you wear down or the things you’re holding onto get torn away from you, and when they do, they take a piece of you with them. And then one day you wake up and realise there’s close to nothing of you left and nothing or no one to show for it. But instead of stopping to find strengths in what I have left or making myself bigger by finding new parts of myself, I just cling onto the same things over and over in the same vicious cycle hoping they won’t take anymore of me even though I know they will.

And that’s the hardest part. Because time and time again I’ve had friends tell me that I need to let go or it’s all going to kill me, but I haven’t listened. I can’t. Because the truth of the matter is that while I’m scared that I’m not enough for those I love, I know I’m not enough for myself and I don’t know how to fix that and until I do, I can’t be alone, because that will kill me faster than holding on ever could.