#i'm autistic and socially inept

[pippin-katz]

“We knew that if Taylor and Nick didn’t feel safe, we would never have gotten that scene out of them.”

I've reread this interview a couple times, and the last sentence hit me differently. My entire chest expanded. I’ve been blabbering on and on about Taylor and Nicholas having to do intimate choreography, and it still blows me away that they did, but that comment is so sweet.

They felt safe. They felt safe with each other. They felt safe with Matthew and Robbie. They were able to perform the most beautiful and romantic sex scene I’ve ever witnessed because they felt safe.

I can't stress the use of the word "safe" enough.

It's impossible to know what they were thinking while filming, but I can imagine that they occasionally got those instinctive nerves, but they were able to keep filming because they trusted each other that much. They could think to themselves: "he's got me".

That is the sweetest, most wholesome thing ever.

Nicholas and Taylor are such close friends and care so much about each other that they're able to do this kind of scene. They know the other would never do anything to make them uncomfortable. They have to be completely vulnerable, but they're okay with that because they trust each other that much. That is such an incredible friendship, and a truly special bond.

It also occurred to me that that trust and safety they felt is probably part of why it feels as intimate as it does. The point of the scene is to show how far Alex and Henry have come in their relationship that they trust each other to do that.

Henry’s unable to “belong to someone else” except for a moment, and he has fallen so in love and trusts Alex so much to give himself to him in literally the most intimate way possible, even if it’s temporary. Alex has never done any of this before, considering he hadn’t truly considered his bisexuality before Henry, and obviously hasn’t had this kind of sex, but he feels comfortable enough with Henry to tell him that he’s nervous and trusts Henry will make sure everything goes right. I mean Henry literally says “trust me, you’re in good hands”, and Alex does.

Trust and safety is literally part of the characters' journeys in that scene. Nick and Taylor's real life trust in each other can provide a genuine base to build off of for Alex and Henry's.

God I wish they could do interviews, I want to hear them talk about it more (if they’re willing). They talked about it somewhat in the pre-conducted interviews, but not to the extent Matthew is in this. Obviously they don’t have to if they’re not comfortable sharing though.

I think this makes me feel so much because I'm personally demisexual and demiromantic, so emotional bonds are very important to me, in general. It's my heart's desire to find someone to love and trust that much, platonically and/or romantically.

PS: Just to be absolutely clear, this is not about shipping Nick and Taylor!! I'm just gushing about their bond with each other! I'm not trying to imply they are romantically involved in any way!

Thanks for reading!! If you enjoyed this essay & would like to support me, you can give me a tip on my Ko-Fi! ☺️

[mellotronmkll]

im really excited to see tmbg again tonight cos they said at last night's show (which was really apollo 18 focused) that it would be a lot of songs from john henry which is one of my favorite of their albums. Also whenever I listen to that album I remember how in high school I went to see them for one of the first of many times with a friend who didn't really care much about them but was just like sure it would be fun to see them and she made fun of me for crying when they played the end of the tour as the last song because I was overwhelmed with joy and that's still one of the most foul and rancid unnecessary acts of haterism I've ever been subjected to she wasn't very nice to me in general so it's not surprising but that was so rude like you're gonna make fun of me for being emotional because I'm happy to be seeing a band that I love. That I've loved my whole life and seeing them is just always such a joy and they're just extremely special to me and I just love that specific song so much and had enjoyed the concert so much I started crying a little. LIKE EXCUSE MEEEEE sorry you can't handle that but it's hurting no one. You're just gonna stomp on my happiness like that. But I'm glad I don't talk to that person anymore and have learned my lesson finally after years to not give a fuck if people think that type of thing is embarrassing #fuckthehaters. But its also funny in retrospect because like how are you gonna be embarrassed about me being enthusiastic at a they might be giants show. Who are you trying to appear cool and aloof and ironic to. The other lame ass they might be giants fans? Like I just have to laugh

[dickggansey]

getting really annoyed by my friend thinking she's more mature than me bc she goes to the gym and studies and works so that means she "has her life together" and straight up told me she's "doing better than me" like she's right but she didn't have to say it

[unreality-monster]

You know, it started as suspicion and hypochondria but now i'm like convinced i'm actually autistic and constantly masking and experiencing burnout and severe social anxiety as a result of it and now i kind of want to see a psychologist

[gengarfluid]

annoying people arent always autistic and kyle was clearly making fun of himself

nowhere did i say annoying people are always autistic or vice versa, so i'm not entertaining that - and in comments kyle says he was "a different genre" when asked if it's based off of him.

how you believe it's clear that he's making fun of himself while knowing next to nothing of substance about the man is beyond my ken.

for sourcing's sake, the video containing the screenshot is here

[aph-estonia]

the closest thing to the """trans agenda""" irl is being asked for pronouns only to be disrespected because of other people's headcanons about yourself mattering more than the truth you inform them of

[angelprickandholysemen]

.

[keirametzbrassknuckles]

I wish I gave less of a shit about what people think of me because in my soul I think I'm meant to be a Helaena Targaryan ass bitch who is just unapologetically weird and people put up with it because they find it oddly endearing. Instead I text my boss things like "I will temper her expectations" instead of "I'll tell her we can't do it" and everyone hates me

[corinthiansenamel]

So i talked about male genital torture around a guy who was my friends situationship because i was annoyed he was around. That was supposed to be OUR day to hang. Definitely getting an F- on social interactions. So how's your day going?

[hmds]

still so pressed about my soon to be ex roommate saying i'm not autistic like girl why do you wanna be autistic? you want attention? you wanna be taken advantage of and abused in relationships? you want random people to hate you for no reason other than you're autistic? what do you gain. really. talk about it

[plaidos]

Sorry if this is going too far with turning your inbox into the children's cartoon complaint zone, but the stuff about Grenda in Gravity falls got me thinking.

I was a teenager when Gravity Falls was coming out, and it remains one of my favorite cartoons, but rewatching it recently made me uncomfortably aware of just how much mean-spirited and offensive comedy there is throughout. Grenda as a "comic relief" character is a huge one of course, but there's just a LOT of deriving comedy from people's bodies and appearances. Plus just straightforward man-in-a-dress jokes...

There's also the fact that Alex Hirsch seems to think AAVE (or like "slang" created to be a comically heightened imitation of AAVE) is the most hilarious thing ever, but also makes sure it's always coming from on-screen white characters, as if that unproblematizes the way it's mocked? It's a CONSTANT recurring thread throughout the series.

I ended up falling off a recent rewatch for a while after hitting the episode "Soos and the Real Girl." It really hit me there with the exact way they were characterizing Soos's social incompetence and "childish" interests, oh, he's straight up supposed to be autistic. He explicitly gets obsessed with the dating sim because he likes how social interactions have predictable rules in it, unlike real life. It's hammered home *multiple* times that one of his big stated social deficiencies is an inability to make eye contact, etc. Come the fuck on. And that's fine in a vacuum, the episode ends with everyone realizing he didn't need to change himself because he could still have value as a person as long as his awkwardness was charming to a quirky chubby woman.

But all the jokes in the episode are still about how funny it is that he's socially unaware and makes other people uncomfortable or frightened. And worse, it recontextualizes the way he's used as a joke throughout the rest of the series, the way he's portrayed as stupid, as a man-child, as being abused and taken advantage of by his employer while he's oblivious to it. It's just so gross. And that's not even getting into how he's also fat and Hispanic, and he's not just mocked but *dehumanized* for comedy CONSTANTLY.

Plus that episode throws in one of the show's transphobic jokes for good measure. Isn't it so funny that you can't tell if this person in alternative fashion is a man or a woman? Isn't it funny that Soos is so autistic-- I mean socially inept-- that he openly, in public, to their face, speculates on their gender? Not like for trans people that's a nightmare scenario that carries an implicit threat of violence or anything...

And all this is absolutely not to suggest that Gravity Falls is a uniquely harmful piece of media. I know for certain if you pick any network sitcom at random, before or even since Gravity Falls, you'd find way worse examples of all of this. But it's just a bummer to now be a grown-ass fat, autistic, trans woman who can recognize some of this stuff, and realize that even the media that's most special to me thinks it's funny to be hostile to people like me, that it's not really made for me. And to recognize that it's even worse for people who are marginalized in ways that I'm not.

Anon I’m in love with you — it’s like you went down a checklist in my brain of every complaint i’ve ever had about this show. i completely, completely agree with every note here — the jokes about AAVE specifically stood out to me, especially since there’s been at least one occasion where Hirsch went on a twitter rant about how (xyz aave) is the worst, stupidest thing to ever happen to the English language (meanwhile he thinks combining the words “Bill” and “Dipper” is funny enough to include as a joke despite it being just literally putting two names together. wooow how clever and funny white people are, thank god this caucasian braingenius is protecting the sanctity of the english language from black people who make up bad new words)

also dude can’t go five seconds without putting a white person in a “cowboys and indians” style native american costume. Hirsch has a fucking major problem with the way he treats his hispanic characters & how he portrays native american mythology & culture as basically this funny stupid thing to be used as set dressing for white people.

it feels a lot like he watched The Simpsons’ (sometimes effective, sometimes ineffective) satire on racism, bigotry, and the conservative tendencies in archetypical american towns and understood that it was funny but didn’t get why and just limply recreated the jokes without the structure for it to be a satire. not that the Simpsons doesn’t fall into these same problems with racism & body shaming, but i feel like they at least have a veneer of it being “isn’t it stupid how people like Homer think like this?” rather than just “haha different culture talk funny”

and the problem is, it sucks that it’s like this because it’s so good. it feels like every time i recommend it i have to be like “a lot of the jokes have aged like milk but it’s worth it”. like i love Gravity Falls. which is why it’s important to criticise it for its flaws.

[normal-enderman]

Troy is SO fucking interesting because he's like. A societally worthless person (by capitalist standards). Held back in school, grades are probably atrocious, has absolutely no useful skills, barely functioning social skills. And yet, because he's so privileged, the useless skill he does have is enough to carry him through life. If his father is anything like we're imagining, he probably talks to Troy all the time about people who don't work hard enough, people who don't contribute to society, and Troy probably adopts the same contempt for those sorts of people as other members of his social class do without thinking about it. But in all ways except the luck of his circumstances, Troy is one of those people! Furthermore, I believe that's why Troy's father doesn't like him that much - Troy may not have the self-awareness to realise he's functionally no different from the "lowlifes" and "moochers" of society, but his father does. His father is probably disgusted that Troy grew into someone so stupid, so worthless, so completely unsuited for the workforce.

On a second watch of the first episode, it's clear Troy is definitely struggling with some sort of handicap, even if he doesn't realise it, though whether it's a case of nurture or nature is up for exploration. He might be socially inept because he never had to learn to make friends, his father was always there to make sure people were kissing up to him. He might be terrible at schoolwork because he has no interest in it, and why would he try when he can pretty much do whatever he wants with no consequences? On the other hand, he might be autistic, he might have ADHD, he might be dyslexic. Or he might just be stupid! That's ok too! Regardless of the explantion, whether his upbringing damaged his development or if there was always something different about him, it's clear something is holding him back - and I'm excited for the point when he realises that he doesn't fit into the society of Wonder any better than the hybrids of Reclaim do.

[3liza]

I'm developing a new theory of autism that posits that autistic people do extremely well in positions of authority where the human social instinct to tolerate eccentricity to the point of rudeness in authority figures benefits the socially inept person and the deep level of personal care, desire for control and detail oriented aspects of autism benefit their organizations in return

[goeticwhorelore]

Hot take, but I don't think Paimon was actually that bad of a father. It actually seems like he loves and cares about his children, but just genuinely doesn't know how to connect with them. To me, it feels like Paimon's own father was abusive or neglectful and now Paimon wants to connect with his kids because he doesn't want them to feel the way he did, but he struggles to connect with them because he never had an example.

I mean, does this really look like a terrible father? To me, it looks like a confused father who is trying. Sure he says his son's crying is an ugly noise and to cease the bitch crying, but maybe he is socially inept, or autistic, or maybe just uncomfortable and not good with children. But what most people brush over is he calls him his little, he uses a cheery babyish voice, he offers physical comfort to his crying son, he tries to cheer him up.

Sure, there is this quote, but hear me out. He's royalty; his schedule is BEYOND packed. He doesn't seem like an abusive or neglectful dad; he seems like an overworked dad. Not to mention, parents of multiple children AND overworked parents often forget their child's name momentarily, or may also call them by the wrong name. As royalty, mistakes are HEAVILY frowned upon so you really think Paimon is going to risk such a stupid mistake of calling his kid by the wrong name? I've also seen the take that Paimon doesn't even know Stolas, which could be the case, but that doesn't mean it's by choice. Many parents even in the real world barely know their children because they're so overworked trying to provide and build a name for their child, that they don't have the time to KNOW their child.

And let's not forget, while he may not have physically taken Stolas to the circus, he DID take the time out of his day to sit there and watch through the whole thing with his son and he DID keep his promise to his son.

Not to mention, he NOTICED EXACTLY what Stolas liked,. What made him happy. What cheered him up. He was PAYING ATTENTION. And, he CARED enough about his son's happiness (and probably knew his son was lonely as he mentions his son has no friends) enough that he tried to buy him whatever made him happy (even though it was a person 😑 but we're not hear to argue if he's a good person, we're hear to argue if he's a bad dad or not). Paimon knew he couldn't be there to fill the emptiness in his son's life, so he hired someone to do just that so his son wouldn't have to feel lonely and unloved.

And without Paimon taking Stolas to this circus and buying Blitz for him, Stolas and Blitz may have never met. Even as adults, the only reason Blitz tries to steal from Stolas is because he knows where Stolas lives and he knows he has this book and what it can do, all because Paimon bought him. And, had Blitz found out about the book through other means, do you really think Stolas would've been so chummy about it if he didn't already know Blitz?

I'm not saying Paimon deserves a World's Best Dad Award, far from it. But at least he tried, and that's more than Crimson, Cash, and a lot of other dads can say. Paimon may not be a stellar dad, but he's not a terrible dad either. And, while this doesn't excuse the pain he caused Stolas, I think it's important to remember just because we have hurt someone doesn't make us a terrible person; life is full of nuance. And I need a scene where Paimon and Stolas have a heart to heart and Paimon realizes his son is in love with an imp and reflects on his own behaviors and beliefs towards imps and apologizes for not being the father his children needed.

[exhelluvafan]

TW: mentions of abuse, rape and coercion below the cut, proceed at your own risk!

I want to see Stolas rotting alone in his miserable life while Blitz gets to live his best life after leaving behind that horrible owl incel rapist shitstain and doesn't even bother checking up with Stolas while Blitz spends time with his colleagues, his daughter and with Fizz, y'know, actually progressing as a person and healing from all the severe shit that Stolas put him through?

But of course, Viv and co. won't allow this because they need gay porn to jerk off to, fuck this shit, I hope Striker finally lands the headshot over that fuckass owl twink, and if it doesn't happen in canon, then I'll draw it or write it myself, because THAT'S how much I hate the Stolitz ship and Stolas himself, and while yes, Blitz isn't a saint, that doesn't mean he deserved to be trapped in a coercive deal for a fucking full year, being raped monthly, with no other choice than to comply to his abuser's whims.

"B-but Stolas already had set him free through the crystal! Wasn't that a show of pure love coming from him?!"

...and? Now suddenly Blitz SHOULD thank Stolas and suddenly go OOC to say "Oh, thank you so much, my dear prince, now allow me to share a romantic moment while completely disregarding the fact that you sexually abused me for a year!"?

Fuck no, I'd rather see Blitz healing by himself or through the support of his colleagues and Fizz, and maybe Ozzie as well, but keeping that owl far, FAR away from Blitz.

And it doesn't matter if Stolas is autistic, or is socially inept, or is he's X thing, yadda yadda yadda, that doesn't erase the fact that he abused Blitz for a whole year, a whole year of emotional and mental turmoil for Blitz, which he only managed to push through because of his business, and lending the crystal doesn't change shit, if anything, Stolas finally allowed Blitz to escape from the deal, not before gaslighting and shedding crocodile tears at Blitz for not loving him back despite all that being a fucking delusion of his part, and this whole awful behavior was reinforced in Apology Tour, showing Stolas' true abusive behaviors and most mask-off we've seen him this far.

Also, allow me to lend a secret with you, coming from an empathetic and sentimental guy:

If Stolas TRULY loved Blitz and did lend the crystal as a selfless act... he would've never asked for ANYTHING in return, because, when you do something out of love, it's out of SELFLESSNESS, what Stolas did was just do a favor to Blitz and expect Blitz to immediately grovel over to his bird feet and "love" him back, which Blitz obviously doesn't do because Stolas made it pretty clear that he doesn't give a fuck about Blitz outside of the sexual stuff.

Since Viv's Hell has laws and shit, I'm genuinely baffled at the fact that Blitz hasn't asked for a distance order to force Stolas to NOT interact with him ever again, and well, then I remember that the law thing only appears when it's convenient, so it turns out that it's pointless either way.

I just...

How's this even a ship to begin with? This whole shit is built-up upon lies, coercion, and rape, what the actual fuck is wrong with those who sees this as acceptable?

[cat-downthestreet]

hey, listen! this is a rant post about neurodivergent characters in Genshin and my frustration with the fandom's reading comprehension skills. if you're in a bad place or just don't like angry rants, please don't force yourself and go read something else instead. <3

Okay, so, I watched this video recently, and let's just say, I have some thoughts.

https://youtu.be/tYK3297p4rk?si=eMaf8NF57HFlUhfd

This isn't just a Xiao problem- the entire fandom is terrible at characterization. The example that makes me the most angry is the mischaracterization of neurodivergent characters.

Take Alhaitham for example. He's often seen as rude and narcissistic by the fandom- which is especially apparent in Haikaveh content, where people portray him as straight up abusive.

You wanna know why this makes me so mad? The supposedly narcissistic and rude traits Alhaitham has are actually just exaggerated symptoms of autism.

Like, come ON, people. Don't skip dialogue. Better yet, go read through his story quest again. He straight up tells someone who sees him as narcissistic that he doesn't see others as less than himself. Also, his voicelines basically confirm this- he's extremely socially inept and he doesn't care. He has difficulty showing emotions as readily as his peers- that doesn't mean he doesn't have them, just that he expresses them differently. He comes across as rude because he doesn't get that people don't like to hear what they're doing wrong, and he probably doesn't care because that's not his problem. If people don't like how blunt he is, that's their problem. At least, that's how I think he views the world.

And like, there are SO many hints that he's autistic. He wears sound-blocking earpieces, for crying out loud. Hell, the ENTIRE REASON why he helped out during the Archon quest was because he didn't want his life to change too much. Preferring routine is an autistic trait.

And the worst part is, when I talk about this outside of neurodivergent groups, people tell me I'm wrong and that he couldn't be autistic DESPITE THOSE PEOPLE NOT BEING AUTISTIC THEMSELVES.

And I'm not saying that every autistic person relates to Alhaitham, but I certainly do. And I'm actually quite friendly because I'm anxious about being rejected. Alhaitham isn't, and I'm so jealous of him for that. He's living his best life.

Finally, back to the Haikaveh thing... Alhaitham isn't abusive. He doesn't say horrible things to Kaveh, and the one example of him doing that I could find, he immediately backtracked and subtly tried to make Kaveh feel better. Hell, Alhaitham doesn't even actually care about making sure Kaveh pays rent. He says it as a joke, but because he's autistic and his tone of voice doesn't give that away as well, he's portrayed as abusive and misunderstood as narcissistic. Y'all just don't like neurodivergent people and it shows.

Yes, neurodivergent includes Xiao. PTSD is often viewed as a form of neurodivergency, and there are many MANY characters in Genshin that have PTSD or some other form of neurodivergence. Yet people refuse to see them as such and mischaracterize them as "edgy," "narcissistic," "unapproachable," "weird," and the like. Yet none of these characters are any of those things.

You wanna know the true narcissists? The true edgelords? The actually rude people? Might I direct your attention to Scaramouche, Childe, and Dottore, whom everyone makes out to be as misunderstood pathetic little meow meows that need love.

Reminder that only two of those three are actually redeemable, and one is STILL an edgelord who is more rude than Alhaitham could ever be, while the other is a certified insane person with a weird set of morals.

(Side note: I love Scaramouche and Childe as characters. I'm just tired of people acting like they aren't worse than the autistic characters. Scaramouche is extremely rude, but he's trying to be better as Wanderer thanks to Nahida's help. He has severe PTSD, and Childe does, too. But both of them are actually messed up and have done horrible things, yet people portray them as better and more in need of love than the characters with unlikable (read: neurodivergent) traits.)

Don't even get me started on how people portray Kokomi, Sucrose, Fischl, Diluc, Zhongli, Cyno, Furina, Neuvillette, and Albedo. Especially that last one- I WILL get mad if one more person tries to tell me he's just emotionless and rude.

Also, if anyone is wondering where I've seen people misunderstanding these characters, it's mostly on Hoyolab site discussions. There's one too many posts talking about how "rude" and "annoying" these characters are.

With Alhaitham especially, I see many people writing him as abusive in Haikaveh content. I see people arguing about the ship being toxic because Alhaitham is "abusive," "unfeeling," and "cruel." Even people who like the ship portray him as such. And I've seen too many people comparing him to Dr. Ratio, who is literally just a narcissist who views others as beneath him. Don't get me wrong, I understand the comparison. It's just... very obvious that people skipped dialogue during Genshin's Archon and story quests.

And it's frustrating because I've been misunderstood in the exact same way. I've been called "rude," "annoying," and "unfeeling" in the past and it's screwed me up. Seeing people do the same thing to a character I so deeply relate to makes me lose confidence in both myself and people around me.

If that's how you view a fictional character with autistic traits, how do you treat real people with the same traits?

Thanks for reading this far. My previous post seemed to get a lot of attention, so I felt more confident about posting my full perspective on this subject. Can any of you think of other characters that have been constantly misunderstood in the fandom? I'd love to hear about it.