#i'm at work just thinking of my girl nbd

[ashedrose]

margaery and myrcella would've been the best of gal pals and that would've driven cersei straight to insanity no rest stops or pee breaks

[celeryw]

i wish i had a favourite novel to get reincarnated into.

[panelshowsource]

rather than who you would like to see on the next taskmaster series, who do you think will be on it? like just your predictions or any inklings you may have!

anon if you're still around then you'll know i really took my time with this hahaha so sorry! i hope anyone reading this takes it as just a bit of fun and nbd, who knows who we'll get or who alex & the network have in mind! i'm answering thoughtfully (bc i always feel guilty not to 😩 so sorry this is long lol) but it's really just fun!!

i will say, of the more recent-ish series, i did get a few right!!! krishnan guru-murthy, nicola coughlan, alan davies, judi love, sue perkins, john robins, and joanne mcnally were people i just knew would eventually be on if the show could get their schedules right, and i was also certain sarah millican and dara ó briain would be asked — though not necessarily that they'd actually agree. when you have a level of seniority and esteem, the "it's such a great opportunity" aspect of the show isn't such a draw 😅 for some reason i feel SO PROUD about guessing nicola! i was just WAITING and wish sooooo much she had done a full series 😭😭😭 (how fun would saoirse-monica jackson be too!)

anyways, as for people who haven't been on yet — and this isn't to say i want them all to be, just that i think it's likeliest they have been asked or will be asked; i talked about who i want to see a little while ago here — it's important to consider the casting 'roles' the network has in mind when working with the producers to form a series, so i will keep that in mind too!

established comedian, typically a straight white man over 40: bill bailey, vic reeves, harry hill, geoff norcott, kevin bridges, adam buxton, ade edmondson, paul whitehouse (tommy tiernan? god i feel bad for not saying ed byrne but why do i feel like he's not gonna make it in the next few series? i'm on the fence with nick helm — unless he's friends with alex, then his chances go up significantly imo — and tom allen for some reason, and i feel like john bishop is almost too much of an ask?)

fresh talent comedian, typically a man under 40: rhys james, huge davies, ahir shah, darren harriott would be my top guesses but tbh any of the semi-recent edinburgh comedy award finalists are good bets as a majority of the winners from the last ~10 years have been on the series + throwing out tom rosenthal (i know he's not fresh fresh and also mostly an actor)...and, like, jazz emu?...just because if taskmaster know how much its audience adores weird little white twinks then they'll cast them

female or non-binary comedian: 100% sarah keyworth + harriet kemsley, maisie adam, jess fostekew, suzi ruffell. i've shifted away from betting on cariad lloyd and catherine bohart for some reason... (joanne was my no.1 lady bet for the last like 4 series hahaha)

non-comedian: this is very, very hard to predict because between comedy actors, non-comedy actors, tv presenters, news people, reality & social media stars... the potential predictions are just so endless! logically, the most likely is an established actor with a lot of comedy connections (think sally phillips, lolly adefope, liza tarbuck, sian gibson, daisy may cooper, susan wokoma; this category is where tm gets quite a few of its female contestants): matt holness, kevin eldon, amanda abbington, tom davis, sharon horgan, kathy burke, georgia tennant (also friends w alex?), su pollard, tom basden, apparently anyone from the cast of ghosts, and so on and so on and so on... + i'll also throw out maggie aderin-pocock as a serious contender + i really feel like one of the spice girls will be on new years treat

friend of alex: john robins was the prediction for the past few series, so just worth keeping in mind other people in this circle include elis james, matthew crosby, tom neenan, and so on

freebie answers because alex/greg have mentioned them before: jack dee, lorraine kelly, joanna lumley (i want jennifer saunders SO BAD give us an epic series w both ade and jen pleaseeee tm gods!!!!)

complete wild card bets that are either my instincts kicking in or my bias taking over: limmy, adam buxton, paddy mcguinness, diane morgan, daniel sloss, joel dommett, jess hynes, spencer jones??, alasdair beckett-king or josh pugh + if suzy izzard wasn't doing a big nyc show i'd say that's a good guess if only bc you know greg & alex grew up big fans

did i mention too many people?? if i had to put my money behind a single person it would be either ahir shah or sarah keyworth

these are almost all of my fr big heavy hitters when it comes to placing bets! but there are of course so many people i didn't name who i could totally see on either a main series or the ny treat — so many people just make sense and that's the beauty of taskmaster!!

[half-truths-and-hyperbole-louk]

Louk's Bad Batch rewatch part 26 !!!

bwaaaaa dum 🥁🥁🥁🥁

(that's my version of the intro you're welcome)

The Bad Batch 2x06

Tech is a pro at creating chain codes at this point 💅

"there's something off about this place" bc you can sense it in the force??

GUNGI GUNGI GUNGI 😭💕🤲

Gungi hearing Echo's voice 💔

Echo's turn for the dramatic sigh count lol

lmao Hunter saying "problem?" like its nbd like he can't probably hear/feel them running around out there 💀

"they're with us" Hunter you dropped this 👑

WHO BOUGHT GUNGI 😡

LIGHTSABER !!! 👀

their reactions to him being a jedi 🥲

Gungi's hesitation to get on the ship with them 😭

the batch understanding he's traumatised- I'm 🖐😭

Hunter in dad mode 👌

"my wookiee is a little rusty" Hunter ilysm 💕💕

Hunter says "you catch that?" to Tech... but when they get to Kashyyyk Wrecker is speaking shyriiwook ... 🤔

Hunter's hand on Echo's shoulder while they're discussing what to do with Gungi 🥲

"I say this as a star wars fan but can we stop going to kashyyyk" ~ Zanny - go check out his youtube !!!

Wrecker sharing his food with Gungi !!! 🤲😭

Hunter telling Gungi to hide his "laser sword" and putting his hand on his shoulder 🥺

Wrecker's "woah" seeing the bug things real !!

Gungi teaching them about the animals 💕

Gungi's toof 💕

I wonder if Hunter's senses is a bit like psychometry 🤔

trandoshans are always the bad guys in this show why did I ever question cid ???

Gungi runs out and Hunter's dad mode kicks in and immediately follows him 🥺

Omega checking on Gungi 🤲

the batch really worked through the whole night to save the planet from burning 👑👑👑👑

I WANT ONE OF THE BIG EAR MONKEY DOGS

Yanna 💕👑 welcoming Gungi 😭

every word Hunter understands of Shyriiwook makes my life 🤲🥲

"Jedi or not he's still a child, he needs his people" I'm not crying you're crying

regs ily 😘

the difference in Echo and Wrecker seeing the wookiee water 🤭

are the wookiees all force sensitive or its more like in blue avatar where they can talk to the trees? absolutely love this either way 💕

"they're talking to the trees?" Omega is so fascinated about everything 🥺🤲

"the... trees have a plan? Alright whatever they say" Hunter love your work as always

Wrecker doing the wookiee roar 👌👑

these bug guys make me itchy but they're heroes fr 🙌

"where did the kids go" Hunter was born to have multiple kids 💕

the fire animation has come so far fr one of the biggest animation glow ups 💅

Wrecker speaking shyriiwook !!! 👀

Echo tasting the wookiee water !! and him cheers-ing with the wookiee 🥺 so proud of him

Tech getting up to translate for Hunter 💕

Omega and Gungi talking to the trees together 🥺😭

"perhaps one day we all will find a new path" ~ Yanna said this but Tech translated and hearing him say it just kinda hits different 🥲

"hopefully one far away from war" ~ Hunter but this one also hits different, because me, a star wars fan, knows what is coming and it haunts me every day 💔😭

I love this episode so much I'm so glad Gungi is safe 🤲 I really hope his other little youngling/padawan friends are too, my girl Katooni 💕

huge thanks to everyone who is still following along with my ilysm 🥰 y'alls are the best 🙏

[claraxbarton]

You might have answered this before, BUT I’m a recent follower and curious ok!! Generally speaking, what is your writing process like? I’m genuinely so impressed by how many different fics you’ll have going simultaneously and they’re all updated SO frequently. AND THEY’RE ALL SO GOOD?? Like do you have vague plans/outlines or drafts that you expand on/edit? Your accountability post will mention writing a few thousand words and then there’s an update the same day and it’s written so well lmao it blows my MIND bc it seems like you just come up with the plot on the fly and then casually write a lil masterpiece after work like it’s nbd. All of this to say I appreciate your work so much ♥️

<3

So uh, to start off with, I'm guessing when you say you recently started following me, you're probably just reading my HRPF fics? I SAY that/ask that because I've bounced through a few fandoms and I kind of go back and forth between being VERY prolific and finishing up projects and kind of... losing steam.

To be fair to me and not to scare anyone off, before this year I have, for the last decade and change, been juggling two full time jobs, part time work, childcare and a lot of volunteer work PLUS trying to write so like, I'm cutting myself some slack on abandoned projects. Because I'm finally down to 1 full time job and 1 part time gig that is only during the summer. I will ALSO say, in December I switched meds for my anxiety/depression so I'm on a new dose, new meds for the first time in 5 years and I do think that's been really impactful in a positive way.

SO, exposition and TMI out of the way:

I wish I could say I had a really clear process that I follow every time, but I don't want to lie. I create docs with notes - I'm thinking about including those as an epilogue chapter on the fics I'm currently working on, if anyone is interested in my scribbles aside from myself and my beta - and SOMETIMES I create outlines. A lot of the time, I will write a chapter or two and THEN create the outline? That's what happened with Gold Rush, but also with Gold Rush, I have already deviated from the outline like... a lot.

I'm trying to be way more chill with myself than I used to be. I was in this deep grind of forcing myself to be productive because that's where my value was (@kangofu-cb is a real one and has been trying to beat this out of me for years. Beating with love). And I'll be honest, being kinder to myself and putting less pressure is, like, so far, so good.

I usually have about, like... a dozen or so fic ideas in my head at any one time (@dwisp can attest to the DAILY messages of 'hear me out' as can @kangofu-cb), but I uh, I really feel 4 long fic is my simultaneous max.

I also have a problem with like, so if you DO want to read some of my not HRPF stuff, I think a good primer is the WinterhawkHood month I did in October with a fic a day, and the consistent issue is: I feel like I'm really good at creating a premise and that premise wants to exist beyond 2-5k. So longfic is probably the format to best tell the stories I want to tell, but, like, writing shorter fic is a lot of fun? That also does NOT answer your question.

Oh! MUSIC! It's so so so so important to my process. I used to put on specific artists, like really get into a singular vibe for a fic. But these days it's just my routine sleepy sad girl playlists (name coined by a former assistant and like she wasn't wrong). Which also probably explains how much sad sack Leon there is in my current fics. I should probably like, get some new playlists going...

Uh, in terms of like, my style/my ideas... so my professional life is theatre adjacent, and I think because of that, dialogue and THE INCITING INCIDENT are really important to me. So usually any fic idea forms around the kernal of the meet ugly and some choice words.

Like, for Gold Rush, I absolutely started from the idea of Leon being a bitch to the press and getting a text from an unknown number/Matthew and it just grew from there.

For Playing Favorites, I absolutely wanted to have former camboy Vince realize his new... work colleague??? Adam Larsson knew he was a former camboy. Which is funny because that moment happens in the middle of the fic (which I AM going to update again soon, y'all might vote consistently for Gold Rush in the polls but this weekend I think it's gotta be some love for my two Lars&Dunn fics).

For Northern Attitude, that inciting incident is, uh, about to occur in ch4 that I'm currently working on. And it's. Well. Yeah. So I got the idea for that 'scene' if you will first and then figured it out backwards?

For Wildfire that, too, has an inciting incident that has yet to make it into a chapter. But she's coming soon.

So really, only Gold Rush started as the beginning as far as ideas went for me? That said, I still START at the beginning when I write. I used to scribble down scenes and then piece them in, but I honestly found it constrained me more than anything else and I'm aware that doesn't make much sense.

I feel like this entire answer is a total nonanswer of me just blathering away. I hope at least part of this is what you wanted and uh... sincerely? Thank you for asking. It means a lot and like, my process is weird and inconsistent but I do genuinely love to talk about my writing.

[ferretrade]

Fic Writer 20 Questions

Thanks to @merlyn-bane for tagging me! <3

1.) How many works do you have on ao3

Currently 56!

2.) What's your ao3 word count?

183,482

3.) What fandoms do you write for?

At this moment, it's Star Wars all day every day. Specifically into the prequel era and Star Wars Rebels related stuff.

4.) What are your top five fics by kudos?

Twenty-Two - an Enjoltaire fic I wrote when I was 20 so let's not talk about that

it's a gift to be truly known - skybridger fic, I'm thrilled to see it this high :')

held like a dream - codywan, interesting it's done better than the others

Lost in the Supermarket - another enjoltaire from the wee age of 20, don't look at me

beholder - codywan, I do really really love this one

5.) Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes, mostly! I don't always because it gets mixed up with my anxiety and I feel overwhelmed and pressured. So I live by a policy of "respond if I am feeling it, if not nbd."

6.) What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I genuinely can't think of anything that has an angsty ending. Angsty middles, sure, but I'm a happy ender. I guess it's like poetry, it rhymes (shatterpoint lineage fic) is a little bittersweet?

7.) What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Hard to choose? I've written some pretty sappy fluff. I've decided on frame the halves, call them a whole (codywan) because you get a good, way pre-O66 fix it that means no one I like died PLUS force sensitive clones! :)

8.) Do you get hate on fics?

I don't believe I ever have!

9.) Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Haha yes. It's generally queer and pretty tame in terms of kink.

10.) Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

Nope, never have.

11.) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don't think so! My fics are pretty mid-tier at their highest popularity so I don't think anyone really cares to lol

12.) Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes and I'm still so, so flattered and thrilled by it. :''') I believe I had one (or even two???) old Les Mis fic translated before, but I don't see it linked on ao3. And then there's this absolute beauty:

Comme de la poésie, ça rime

13.) Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

Not technically, but Haley and I have a draft we lovingly refer to as only fan-akin, doc titled (by Haley, credit where due) "the west wing but if sam married the hooker and became president instead of dropping that storyline and leaving after s3"

14.) What's your all time favorite ship?

Maybe probably Billy/Teddy from Young Avengers. They're my boys!!!

15.) What's a WIP you'd like to finish, but doubt you ever will?

Baby girl, I have WIPs you don't even know. I wish I could write the jedi temple epic I wanted to, but my thoughts and feelings have changed so much the whole concept has collapsed and what I have is too messy to use elsewhere. And then there's the courferre soulmate fic I dearly meant to finish and just never will since the interest dried up.

16.) What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue. That's the easiest part for me to write.

17.) What are your writing weaknesses?

Uh well first of all, actually getting myself to write is a big fucking challenge of mine. But really, the spacial stuff and descriptions kill me. Please know that if you ever read non-dialogue, non-thought parts that you like, it probably took me like 10 writing passes to get it just right. I live in a state of editing and reediting.

18.) Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I just don't! I am willing to add in as much as I know or easy words-- like a bonjour or, if we're talking Star Wars, sprinkles of words like vode. But if someone is talking in sentences, I will straight up do "Sabine said something in Mando'a" or "Stop that, Sabine told him in Mando'a." Easier for me that trying to do bad translations.

19.) First fandom you wrote for?

Young Avengers!

20.) Favorite fic you've ever written?

This is ever changing. While I probably go back and read it's a gift to be truly known the most, I love a single slow desire for it being the best, biggest world building I've done. Plus it's f/f and I need more of that in my writing life

I think everyone ever has been tagged already, but if not! Tags for you: @afoundling @happybean17 @tired-bshocked @goddammitjim

[aclosetfan]

Hey so like, legitimate question. I'm not trying to be funny about this here I'm actually curious. But since Mojo is often seen as the Professor's "son" and that the chemical X is the same material that made the girls, wouldn't the Puffs and Ruffs technically be like, cousins or something. People ship them a ton obvious and I'm just curious is this is something people know and don't care about, or if this is a massive misunderstanding of the Puffs and Ruffs actual relationship to one another on my end.

Again not trying to be silly or inflammatory, just a confused onlooker.

Nbd! I don’t think it’s a massive misunderstanding, but it’s probably a bit of a stretch for multiple reasons. I put them under the cut, but really, if you’re against shipping them 🤷‍♀️ I’m not trying to change your mind. You do you!

First, the show itself creates the ship, i.e, the kisses/attempted kisses that destroy the boys and then a one off-gag where they’re teenagers and flirting/talking. “Romance”, of course, is used loosely here because there isn’t much and it’s mostly for the gags, but ppl ran with it and that’s the foundation of the ship. The rrb are used for the classic (sexist) boys v girls trope. They don’t show up very often and aren’t used for much else! But when they do show up, most of the time, someone’s (innocently) kissing or flirting w/them lol

if you want them to be cousins, go for it 🤷‍♀️ I mean, something new from canon could show up and prove this post wrong, but given the fact the show has entertained the notion that these characters are “shippable” I’d really hope they’re not cousins lol

Next, mojo’s a lab monkey! He’s not human. It’s not the professor’s dna that mutates him, it’s the chemical-x. The girls are also not related to the Professor for the same reason. They’re science experiments just like the boys, who were made in a prison toilet.

Genetics-wise, none of them are related. Sure, chemical-x is the factor that makes them all the same, but it’s hard to argue a mutagen makes you related to someone. It’s like the spider that bit Spider-Man. Just because there are a lot of Spider-Men, doesn’t make them related. And X isn’t like the mutagen in tmnt where the mutagen uses other living dna to mutate living/non-living organisms that would make people “related”. Chemical-X fused with inorganic materials to make the girls, doing all the work itself.

If that’s not enough, the boys didn’t technically use chemical-x, they were initially made from prison toilet water and the joke was the water was toxic enough TO BE LIKE chemical-x. They were then recreated by HIM, who doesn’t need chemical-x. HIM just made them from thin air.

Finally, the traditional family dynamics aren’t there. The Professor doesn’t consider Mojo his son. In the same episode Mojo uses Professor’s supposed fatherhood against the Professor to manipulate the family, Mojo causes the Professor to hit his head, who then remembers that Mojo was nothing more than a bad lab monkey who never listened (the Professor suffered memory loss after mojo pushed him, creating the chemical-x explosion). They never had a father-son relationship. Mojo was just a lab assistant and Mojo was using the professor’s general goodness against him.

If that’s still not enough, the boys don’t consider mojo to be him their “father.” Mojo wants to be considered their father as their creator, but that never happens. The first version of the boys are created by Mojo and later blown up by the girls, who destroy them with kisses on the cheek ((again, if they are considered cousins, I’d really hope CN wouldn’t have a whole fictional City advocating cousins to kiss lol.)) The next version of the boys are created by HIM. HIM and mojo duke it out, but the boys are never interested in them longer than the next toy they’re given. They don’t live with either “parent” and they don’t listen to either “parent.” The first versions of the rrb had better family relationships with mojo, but depending on who you are, the second version isn’t the same as the first.

At the same time, however, mojo and the Professor created the powerpuff girls and mojo did create the initial rrb. So, if creation = fatherhood to you, then they’re not cousins lol they’re cousin-siblings, which is . . . way way way worse. In context, though, the ppg and rrb are not related.

If there’s a reason NOT to ship the rrb and ppg together 1) the rrb have shitty personalities 2) are largely irrelevant to the plot, 3) show up in only like 5 times, and 4) are children. Fanon’s just really taken off and made them their own, so most ppl agree it’s only fun in context of fanon, not canon.

Like I said though, do what you need to do. If you see them as cousins, there’s not much I could probably say to change your mind!!

[nologiconlystyles]

Tag Game

Rules: Tag 10 or more people you want to get to know better.

As always, thanks to my darlingest sunshine @sun-lt for the tag ☀️🌻☀️🌻

Relationship status: hopelessly and eternally enamoured, aka married 💍

Favorite color: blue

Song stuck in head: Saw Giant Rooks in concert last week (I think? time has no meaning anymore) and I am obsessed; What I Know Is All Quicksand has been in my head on loop ever since

Favorite food: gotta be sushi 🍣

Last song listened to: Somebody Like You, Giant Rooks

Dream trip: tbh, probably just a l'il jaunt to all my long distance girl friends? So, Quebec to Seattle to New Mexico to Sweden to Dubai, nbd ✈️

Last show/movie: oh fuck me, Marie got me hooked on 911 and I'm currently binging it and blowing up her phone with my meltdowns

Spicy, sweet, or savory?: s a v o r y, all day, e'ryday

Last thing googled: timbits flavours, because I took a box to work and they only gave us five varieties?? and I was sure there were more in existence.

[zmediaoutlet]

Happy Wincest Wednesday! I've been meaning to leave a comment on your Deanna fic but I keep forgetting so I'm leaving one here instead. I am so invested in this fic, I'm gobbling up every single post you make about it like it's my life force. I'm also completely entranced by how much Deanna still feels like Dean? It is so weird and so wonderful at the same time. Usually in genderswap fics the swapped character ends up feeling like a caricature, in the spirit of the original but still very different. The fact that yours doesn't speaks volumes about both Dean as a character and your abilities as a writer. Anyway this was mostly an excuse for me to fangirl over your writing a bit more, because your writing is seriously my gold standard for fic and every time I get an email that you've posted something new it makes my entire day. So, yeah. May your Wednesday be the wincest-iest! :)

aww bud, bud <333 -- happy wincest wednesday to you too!

You um may have seen that I did in fact post the 2nd part today, for the holiday! So I hope that she still comes off okay to you in the full fic. It's a bit squishy there at the end, ahem.

Super cool that you're liking how the genderswap works, though! I spend a lot -- too much -- intense amounts of time thinking about Dean-and-gender, and how differently an always-a-girl Dean would work (or halman, in another universe), and more importantly how not-different she'd be, which is fascinating to me much more from the m!Dean end of things. I'll crib from some old musing, if that's okay to self-plagiarize --

it's striking how much ~easier this is going from M to F for a character. I don't know how many people are genderswapping a female protagonist -- maybe someone out there is really into butch, like, Jessica Jones -- but part of what makes it interesting to go M to F is that women are allowed to indulge in masculinities in ways that don't happen in the reverse Deanna can drink beer and wear a plaid shirt and boots and listen to cock rock and work on cars and it's nbd. (granted, more unattractive ways of being masculine are still out, e.g. she can't have an untended moustache -- but she wouldn't want that anyway, in the same way that Dean isn't growing out his unibrow.) so it becomes fun to tease out those hidden elements of the masculine character that were already mildly fem-coded and see how they fit; and then fun to say, okay, Dean clearly cares about looking good and as he gets older especially he starts to like nicer clothes. what if Deanna got to indulge in being a shopper? etc.

AND WHAT IF THAT?? That's why I find Deanna so interesting -- to dig into the places where she's different, and the places she's exactly the same, and the places where it really is the same but permission is given to indulge in some personality trait instead of bluffing it away, e.g. Dean's nurturing side -- which Deanna can just... have, and no one even questions it. Makes the top of my head come off!! So I'm glad you like it too. <3

And to bring it back to wincest wednesday, I really do think Sam thinks his sister is the hottest creature in the universe and the example against which he judges all others, so. It's fun to see him do that, sometimes. :)

[kosovareasllani9]

Holy moly season finale thoughts!

Albie his Dad and Grandfather are all trash. Albie is a little spoiled rich boy who was just like yeah she played me nbd after coercing his pathetic dad to drop 50k.... And was Grandpa screwing Mia this whole time???! Hope they crash and burn in life, gotta watch out for guys like this ladies!!

Tanya Tanya Tanya.... My jaw dropped during the boat scene lol like whaaat happened! Part of me thinks the gays weren't going to hurt her and she just got paranoid but... I'm thinking they were gonna kill her. I'm just not sure why they didn't do it earlier? Why make a personal connection? Why take her to all these luxurious places just to kill her? Why not just kill her on the first boat ride there? Take out Portia too why not there's no reason to keep her around.. I honestly thought Greg would be on the boat to somewhere but nope! I wonder what the guy that jumped must think though, and what Jack thinks when he finds out!! So many lingering plot points! I do feel bad for Tanya but I'm still a little shocked she didn't put at least some of it together earlier, I thought she had moments of clarity but I guess not.. and the sound design of her hitting the rail 🤮🤮🤮🤮💀

Portia needs to find a new city to live in, new job, work on herself and stand on her own two feet before thinking about starting and relationship. But no, she goes back to Albie after a traumatizing event... Ugh

I like to think Daphne didn't do anything with Ethan. She's already got her trainer and kids, I'm not sure why she'd believe Harper slept with him after their girls night out... Idk I don't think anything happened. Maybe some oral to boost Ethan's ego but nothing more. I lived that Cameron was all sad at the end though in the airport, he's now beta dog compared to Ethan lol

PS: Daphne saying next they'll do the Maldives LMAO

Ethan and choke though, insecure lame excuse for a man.

Harper.... Idk she shouldn't have lied. I'm upset they had her lie in the first place, didn't seem on character since she told Ethan about everything else Cameron had done throughout the vacation. But she got a great lay so... I guess if they are happy then all is well, right??

Valentina will hopefully go to the lesbian bars and gain confidence in herself and find herself a girlfriend! I was very cute when she was finally nice to Rocco, good character development!

Lucia..... Idk.. not my favorite character but I guess she got what she wanted so.. good for her? One day it'll bite her but until then, good for you.

Mia needs to watch her back with Giuseppe!! I'm impressed they had time to bring him back tbh, but I'm happy for her. Got a cushy singing job and is rolling thanks to Lucia. I really hope good things happen for her!!

Great finale, not remotely what I thought would happen but I still loved it!!!

[beardedmrbean]

My ex is getting involved with a psycho. Let me just start off by saying I am not calling her that out of jealousy, I do not want to get back with him, ew. I will explain why I'm calling her that in a bit. Due to some money issues I'm currently staying at a place that doesn't allow pets so my ex is caring for my cats for me and so I see him on the regular, which is how this effects me. Plus I'm the one he vents to when things go south which is how I know the things I do. About a month ago he broke up with his girlfriend of four years because he snuck into her phone and found out that she had been sleeping with at least 3 other people for at least 9 months, and I say "at least" because in his words, he didn't take long to get to the point where he didn't want to investigate further. He went absolutely apeshit, got kicked out of two bars that night, assaulted people, broke the TV, etc. which, she'd been gaslighting him for months making him think he's crazy and paranoid when in reality things were actually worse than he believed. so I give him a pass on that I think he actually took it rather well considering everything. He started getting into coke again once this "paranoia" started up and got really really close to the coke dealer. Who was a friend before but now… he's fucked her more than once and has spent consecutive nights at her house. He's not dating her, he keeps saying he can't date her, but he's getting involved. Maybe he's seeing this as a fuck buddy situation but I'm worried it's going to get to the point where she doesn't. This is why I call her psycho. A few years back she turned on me and threatened me for fucking her over on a deal that I never made and didn't even know about until she called me demanding money. It turned out she was mixing me up with someone else but she never chilled about it. She stalks people and I know this because she bragged about it like it was nbd. And called me a shit friend when I refused to help her with it. When we were still married on more than one occasion she came banging on our door in the middle of the night freaking out over nonissues. A few years back when her boyfriend broke up with her she was talking to me and one of the other girls at the bar about making a pipe bomb and setting it off at his work to get him in trouble and I'm sorry there are some things you just don't joke about, and while my ex thinks it's nbd I know her well enough to know that's a joke until it's not. My ex and I split for good reason but I do not want him to suffer. She is going to turn on him, there is no "if" about it, this is a "when" situation. I do have to give her credit she's a faithful girlfriend so in that regard he is taking a step up, but I'm worried what she will do when she inevitably turns on him. I don't want him to suffer and I absolutely do not want my cats to be endangered because his stupid decisions caused a volatile situation before I have a chance to get them back (and unfortunately the only other people that can take them in are 1000 miles away so not an option, and I'm not taking my babies to a shelter I do not trust them). I don't know what to do…?

just as an fyi I have already brought all this up to him I literally called him stupid and crazy and his response was "yeah" so we already both know how I feel about this and both know beyond a shadow of a doubt that this is a really bad idea.

I'm gonna throw this out to the community to see if they've got anything, and I'm not going to colour it with my thoughts so everyone can go in clean.

I'll do a thing with a response by itself I think

[notthatdamian]

Welcome. I'm a 45yo telephone lineman. I dig holes, install poles, and string up cables so if you think about it, I kinda make the internet work. NBD, though. You're welcome 😜

I'm also a dog and cat lovin', left leaning, divorced father of 2 girls, and this increasingly looks looks like it'll be my post Twitter landing spot. Seems pretty simple, and as the sage prophet Roger Murtagh once said: "I'm getting too old for this shit"

Not sure what shape this blog'll take yet. Shit this post might wind up being my one and done...but I see lots of corgis and kittens so far, so I may just make myself comfortable

[darkshrimpemotions]

Taylor Swift "Midnights" hope/expectation based on Taylor's description and the publicity for the album: Moody, dreamy music with heavy introspection in the lyrics. Maybe something we haven't heard before, even.

My song-by-song reaction under the cut:

NOTE: ALL OF THIS IS INVALID I was listening on terrible speakers the album sounds great in stereo.

Lavender Haze - I don't know what I was expecting but this isn't it. The lyrics are a little simplistic and the music is. Odd? Like there are some random, discordant noises happening throughout the first verse and after that it's just kind of one note electropop.

Maroon - Hauntingly sad and wistful lyrics, but the music is still weirdly electronic. Musically this feels like a 1989 b-side.

Anti-Hero - Okay, now we're getting somewhere. This song is delightfully weird lyrics-wise. Still kinda 1989 vibes but slightly to the left. Like the poppy-ness of the song juxtaposed with those lyrics almost adds to the weirdness?

Snow on the Beach - This song. This is what I was hoping for! I'm usually not a fan of duets where you can't really hear and distinguish both voices, but Lana and Taylor blend so beautifully and it just works.

You're On Your Own Kid, Midnight Rain - No thoughts head full heart bursting these may have just made my top 5 songs list. The regret-nostalgia-resignation-remembrance of it all! There is a whole movie in each of these songs and I can't even BEGIN.

Question...? - Just gonna quietly put this in the same folder as Ilicit Affairs, Ivy, and Betty, nbd.

Vigilante Shit - I am speechless. When I said I was hoping for something we haven't heard from Taylor before? Never in my wildest dreams would I have imagined this. It's giving me Something Bad, No Body No Crime, Two Black Cadillacs, Thelma and Louise, my whole brain is crying happy tears. She really said I will not only steal your girl, I will help her plan your demise first.

Bejeweled - Spiritual successor to both Mirrorball and Look What You Made Me Do, somehow, and in the best way. All I can think about is her talking in Miss Americana about how she's always tried so hard to be good.

Labyrinth - The lyrics and mood of this remind me so much of hoax. But my god why is this song's chorus so high and breathy and squeaky. Girl your lower register is crying asking why you're mad at her!

Karma - This is that diary entry we've all written when we're so angry our hands are shaking and we're either crying or stabbing through the paper or both. By the end of it, you're calm. You can breathe again.

Sweet Nothing - Finally a break from the overproduced eletronica that has plagued this entire album. This is a beautiful song. Sweet.

Mastermind - This song is...creepy. Cheeky. Fun? Also delightfully weird.

Overall: This feels more like a surprise experimental release than either folklore or Evermore. The production is really weird. Not good weird, not bad weird, just...weird. Like a 1989 practice run on steroids. At times it works, and at times it feels like the producer is trying to cover up her voice entirely. It's very electronic in a way that doesn't necessarily serve the songs in every instance.

I do think some of these songs will end up being favorites. I think a lot of them will end up being songs I skip most of the time though, because the production is just too busy and overdone and makes me anxious. Maybe it'll grow on me?

[countthereds]

reasons I smoke:

1) stress relief

2) I look cool, i like the way the smoke curls up and the way I look with a cigarette in hand

3) it's gender affirming, i smell like a man and I have a deeper voice

4) tobacco taste nice, shisha is preferable to cigarettes flavour wise but I still like tobacco (i should try that one coffee that promises to have hints of tobacco in it)

5) it's something I can do because I have decided to do. Nothing my parents envision for their "pretty little girl". It works entirely against that shitty image they have of me as a sanctimonious woman who has a stick up her arse. I'm not _flat_ like that. and while I can play that stereotype well, i'm so sick of always having to hide myself from my family.

even if I _do_ try to communicate, it doesn't work. they don't want to see me anything else, so I only have to prove it to myself. and mentally "proving" it to myself is not enough, verbally is nowhere near enough, I Need to be out doing things that break the stupid puritanical image they cast on me.

6) I'm comfortable doing it. Both mum and dad were chainsmokers. I know the different brands, i know what the average price of a pack is having to look anything up. I know what kinds I am likely to like.

7) it's socially inoffensive. Nobody looks twice at someone smoking

8) it's cheaper than other things

9) the fallout of it is not horrible. my parents find out I smoke, they get pissed, so what? even if a cousin does, who _cares?_ It's not sth to get disowned over or get religious sermons over

10) I can store it easily in my room. in my bag, i can get it from any grocery store, nbd. Life is easy

11) I smell Nice, i didn't think i would enjoy the smell tobacco leaves on my body but i do

12) i made my boyfriend cum just with my voice today, which was deeper and hoarser than usual bc i smoked last night

13) It doesn't make me silly like alcohol. I am a happy drunk, and while that is nice, I don't like how i end up more trusting

14) alcohol fucks with my meds. I can only have a tiny bit.

15) it fits the moody aura, it affirms an image in my head. I look more like myself with it.

16) cigs are cheaper than shisha, and they're easier to carry around, cheaper than vape, and look cooler lmao.

17) the withdrawals are not as bad as other stubstances

18) I can't keep popping anti-anxiety pill every time I need to calm the fuck down, nor can I go rub one out, and sometimes even physically managing anxiety and stress doesn't work

19) I can just step out to smoke a bit and not come back absolutely silly and hugging everyone. it fits

20) the sting of smoke balances out the relief of nicotine

21) it tempers my apetite. I always get more hungry when stressed. I need to get rid of that and I can't just go bust a move whenever I want to relax

reasons i should quit after this pack:

1) I'm healing from surgery, and it would suck to ruin all my progress for smokes

2) I'm training for a marathon for fuck's sake

3) I never told Lee

4) I promised to be healthy

5) i don't think using cigs as a bit of self control/self harm move is the best mentality to start Any habit with

6) it will definitely affect my medications and my hormones and the health of my teeth

7) it's expensive in the long run

8) I can't smoke at work

9) i want to be able to handle my anxiety without substances, because i want to be able to have that much control over myself

10) I want to live a long life with my darling

11) I don't want to ruin my lungs

12) I want to be better to the environment than that

13) I want to not be part of the problem

14) I don't want to be a hypocrite. I'm doing this to lash out against the current situation, but I most definitely do Not want to be a smoker forever

15) smokers actually stink, tobacco might smell nice, the rest of that crap getting metabolised through their bodies is Not

16) my farts stink sth fierce rn

17) it can make me more likely to get sick in winter

18) my tits hurts whenever I smoke, i did Not pay a ton of money for my to fuck it up for a short term thrill

19) I'm Better than that, I'm better than relying on a cig for relief, I just need to find a way to do that. I'm sick of suffering through anxiety, i want a way to make it go away

20) I want to be able to donate blood (this stops me from getting tattoos, too)

21) I want to be healthy, that mystical wonder of "healthy" where I can run around freely no problem and where I can swim laps at 80 years od age and not be worn into pieces

22) I want to be a role model to the kids, someone to look up to. I don't think I could look them in the face and lie about having never smoked a single cigarette in my life anymore.

23) nicotine IS mood altering, just bc it doesn't make me silly doesn't mean it doesn't change me. I do Not want to be more irritable

24) I CAN take ashwagandha, which is cheaper and better for me, AND longer lasting and has a better effect, even on my depression and doesn't fuck with my blood pressure

[flimsy-roost]

ND Diary

[[[VENT INCOMING]]]

[[[DISCUSSIONS OF WEIGHT/WEIGHT LOSS, EATING, AND DIETICIAN JARGON]]]

[[[NBD JUST SCROLL ON PAST IF NOT YOUR THING NBD]]]

had an intro meeting with a dietician yesterday, and it was weird in a lot of ways, but in two particular ways I can't unstick from my head so this is my attempt to peel them off.

.1) neurotypical bias, aka come meet me where I am

backing up slightly for context. the process of finding a medical professional as an autistic person is a minefield. if you google the keywords "dietician neurodiversity," all the top results are akin to PARENTS CLICK HERE TO ALLEVIATE (CURE?????) YOUR CHILD'S AUTISM THROUGH SPECIFIC DIET!!!!1!!!! so I usually have to haphazardly suss out the vibes, be as up front as I comfortably can, and then roll the dice.

I was cautiously optimistic about this place because the intake girl seemed chill. at one point in that scheduling call, I mentioned that intuitive eating wont work for me because I have really weak interoception, which applies to hunger cues. she basically said oh yeah that shouldn't be a problem, I've recovered from an ED so I have similar issues, we meet people where they are so eating on a schedule or in a more prescriptive way is definitely something we can help with.

so imagine my awe shock and horror when the very first thing the RDN suggests (halfway through an already stumbly awkward zoom call) is to basically start keeping a feelings diary, to try and "nail down" subtler hunger cues.

in the moment, it felt like she was trying to funnel me into intuitive eating; the thing I specifically said does not work for me, and forthewhich reason I'm even seeing a professional in the first place. I did look it up, and developing this sense can also help with making more intentional decisions about what you eat (ie, am I so hungry that I need a whole sandwich, or will a smaller snack suffice?), but the thing is that I also do not have issues with this kind of intentionality day-to-day.

I don't doubt that with a large amount of concerted effort, I could gradually develop a halfway-sufficient understanding of hunger-related interoception. but is that really the best use of my time, energy, and brainspace?

digression, but this reminds me of my old roommate's girlfriend, who I was interacting with regularly the last time I made a concerted effort to get in shape. I have shitty knees from a teenage injury, and was basically told by the physical therapist at the time that I shouldn't develop an interest in running unless I want to also be back in PT on a regular basis. my roommate's gf lived, ate, and breathed running, I think she was training for a half marathon when I knew her, and could not conceive of the fact that her favorite thing ever wasn't going to work for me. she kept interpreting my saying "I can't" as "I won't." and sure, she had a wisp of a point; if I found a good PT with regular availability, and found the right shoes, and figured out the right routes and schedule and time frames and timing to do it, I might have been able to be a runner. OR, I could just go to a gym and sit on a no-impact spin bike for half an hour every day. that second thing achieves similar results and takes up a lot less time, energy, and brainspace.

the insistence on developing interoception is giving similar vibes. sure, I could set a reminder every two hours to write down any bodily sensations that might conceivably be related to hunger, for the next several weeks, to see if there's a pattern and satisfy your preference to be "open to experimentation." OR I could use that same reminder-setting system to remind me to eat on a sustainable schedule. you gonna help me figure out that schedule or not?

2) don't say the "w" word

I really really wish there was something in between the hyperintense calorie/macro tracking "calories in, calories out" medicalizing approach to weight loss, and weight neutrality. the former was not good for me in ways I won't expand upon, and the latter is kind of... fluffy?

look, I'm not going to lie to you and say that there aren't some minor vanity aspects at play in my wanting to lose weight (eg. I want to cut my hair short, but I don't think it would look cute on me right now), but the main two reasons I'm looking to do this are for simplicity and mobility.

simplicity: the world we live in either ignores or pathologizes fat bodies. this is a problem, and I'm genuinely glad it's being talked about and is changing incrementally. but I'm barely keeping up with the basic demands of existing that everyone has to deal with, and the added complications of navigating the world as a fat person means that the scope of things I can reliably participate in is incredibly small. my overall environment is already unsuitable for a neurodivergent person, so I devote a lot of effort to trying to reduce environmental hostility inflicted upon me in ways I can actually effect, in this case my size.

the second weird thing sticking in my brain concerns the second reason, mobility.

as mentioned above, I have shit knees. in the years since the initial knee enshittification, my weight has fluctuated within a 90lb range. while knee muscle strength definitely plays a role, I can say with certainty, from firsthand experience, that 75% of what determines how much my knees are bothering me at any given point in my life is my numerical weight. this is a neutral statement. this is physics; a larger mass will exert greater gravitational force on a hinge. the best ways to mediate this force are to strengthen the hinge (which I am also working on) and to reduce the mass.

the dietician I saw, operating with weight neutral language and training, denied that my weight has an impact on my knees and mobility. or not exactly denied it, but denied that that's a thing that we could say.

come on.

this is an extra layer of narration and storytelling that I do not find helpful. I'm fully on board with the general gist of weight neutrality. it's bullshit that fatphobic medical professionals will ignore their patient's medical concerns because they're fat, and insist that they can only do their fucking jobs on demographics within a certain BMI range. the default fat=bad thin=good needs to be replaced with all=neutral. I get that, I agree with that, I'm on that page with you. but this degree of "do not speak the name of the fey, lest you invite them into your home to trick you" obfuscates any helpful advice when weight is genuinely and measurably at least part of the problem.

I wish there was a widespread way that incorporated the amoralistic ethos of weight neutrality into adaptive problem solving. kind of like an informed consent system. like a "what do you want, why do you want it, how do you want to do it, how can I help" sort of thing. I don't appreciate being told how I'm supposed to feel about something, when my baseline feelings about it are already pretty neutral. if you're unwilling to accept that my weight may exacerbate my mobility issues and that this is a valid impetus for weight loss, then why the fuck am I even here talking to the diet and weight loss specialist

[icannotgetoverbirds]

swifties look away im so sorry

okay so i heard a song on the radio today that is apparently one of taylor swift's pieces.

this is by no means an in-depth analysis, nor unbiased or even well-written.

so for reference i'm talking about anti-hero. keep in mind, this is pretty much just a vibe check.

vibe check: it feels to me like she's upset that people are attempting to hold her accountable for her actions wrt the whole private jet thing, and it's kinda sad. Not like, i feel bad for her sad, but like, girl, get it together, sad.

evidence:

anti-hero released in october of 2022. for reference, those articles about celebrity private jet usage - which you may remember left taylor at the top of the list, garnering serious backlash - came out in august of 2022.

in this song, she is the anti-hero (afaik - if it's someone else, that could change the meaning entirely). she sees herself as hated, as someone viewed as an enemy. she bitterly refers to her narcissism as though she's been called one and is tired of the accusations.

she says she dreams about her daughter-in-law killing her for the money, then screaming that taylor's laughing up at her from hell because the in-laws were left nothing in the will.

worth noting that she has children, all of which are under the age of ten. not sure how to feel about the implications of her presenting this hypothetical situation in a song long before her kids have the chance to bring a partner home. somehow i doubt they're going to be comfortable doing that.

some lyrics that were what really sent up the red flags for me:

"It's me, hi, I'm the problem, it's me (I'm the problem, it's me) At tea time, everybody agrees"

this sounds exactly like the kind of shit someone says when they're trying to dodge responsibility. guilt-tripping the person calling them out by exaggerating what they're saying. "I'm always the villain. I'm always the bad guy. Everybody's on your side. You always have to be right."

(that last one is one i've personally heard from an abuser. again, this is biased and my vibe check is definitely imperfect.)

it's just. pathetic feels too mean but it's the only word I can think of. taylor swift has a lot of reach and her music meant a lot to me as a kid, but as i've gotten older i've kind of grown apart from her work.

which, you know, nbd. then the shit about the plane drops and it's like Oh Wow Okay. Fuck Me I Guess. idk. it seems like it was made to garner sympathy and support, which isn't inherently bad, but i'm having trouble being sympathetic when she's contributed so much to climate change and pollution.

i don't hate swifties, i don't even hate taylor swift. i just... don't have a lot of sympathy for her when that article could've been a wake-up call, and the memes could've been a wake-up call, but instead it seems like she's whining about people being mean to her - and don't get me wrong, people are absolutely being mean, but when she's literally directly, massively, and unnecessarily contributing to the destruction of the planet, i think they have a right to get a little pissed.

so instead of stepping up and doing better, she just wrote a song that feels like a pathetic attempt to get people to stop calling her out for her bullshit, whether it was intended to be manipulative or not.

swifties, if you read this, i'm sorry, but that's just my perspective on it. i have no issues with people being fans of her or liking her music or whatever, i just... i guess i felt like this was something worth discussing.

like, idek if this is too harsh or too nice. i have qualms with the concept of punishment in an attempt to bring about change, even for the privileged, but people have a right to be angry about what she's done. is there something to be said about the fact that people mostly went after her for being at the number one spot and almost nobody is making memes about other celebrities on the list? probably.

anyways. just my unorganized thoughts abt it. someone else can probably put it better than i can - i don't have the spoons to do a proper analysis right now, but i can provide this lens to view it through, i guess.