#i'm always looking for ways to improve!!
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WHY ARE THEY GROWING UP WHAT THE FUCKKKKKKKKKKK
#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#this game sucks. i knew the premise has always been 'you and miku are watching these kids grow up and achieve all their dreams'BUT LIKE#NOW THAT THEY'RE OUT OF THEIR THREE YEAR LONG STASIS AND ARE ACTUALLY MOVING ON TO THEIR NEXT BIG STAGE#SUCKS. I'M DEVASTATED (IN A GOOD WAY)🥹#the art improvement is crazy too like it's subtle but it's There andlike#well i lost my train of thought because i started looking at them again. MY GIRLS THEY ARE SO SPECIAL#ichika honami and shiho are smiling now...sniffle
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like why did they change where Vegeta was when Cell announced the cell games in the anime
why did they make this vegeta starting shit with yamcha instead of chillin in the lab with his family? why did they take Bulma out of the lab? Why'd they say she was Out while Dr Brief was repairing 16? Why did they change Bulma working on advanced robotics to running in late with her baby?
it's the same scene except: - Bulma's actively at work being a scientist - Vegeta's not being rude to her (or anyone else!) - Vegeta waits for Trunks instead of leaving the room - Cell interrupted the airwaves, which means Trunks and Vegeta were just hanging out with Bulma and Dr B while they were working
Those are all Great Character Details!! That the anime rails against!!
#these cowards afraid of showing Vegeta actively choosing to be around his wife and child even when he's Bad#Because Goku who is Good never ever even once makes that choice onscreen outside of filler#and then they justify that choice by making Chi-Chi seem horrid and unreasonable for (checks notes) Not Wanting Her Child to Die#anyway I am once again being bitter about anime vs manga klasjdklasd#I can't believe I let the anime convince me I hated Goku man Goku's SUCH a good and ridiculous character in the manga#the anime just SUCKS at letting him be who he's always been#and has to reframe and recontextualize and reword everything he does so that it seems like he's Actually Quite Mature and Thoughtful nO#THAT's VEGETA YOU COWARDS#also the fact that bulma said she wouldn't live with him at the beginning of this arc to him casually hanging out with her and trunks#after cell beat his ass and humbled him is REALLY GOOD SUBTEXT for their shared relationship having improved without showing it#it's great subtext for all three of them and toei just went 'nah' and decided to make it a whole group shot so ...? Master Roshi could sit#and explain how ??? Tournaments Work??? Just so Cell could log on and also explain how tournaments work?? God it's been so long#since I've watched the anime and now when I do it just makes me mad aklsdjskja the manga is SOOOOO much better#there are some spots where the pacing is more ideal in the anime like goku turning ssj for the first time but like man. everything else is.#like why are you making Goku snarky with Vegeta dude his clapbacks are SO much funnier when they're just Tactless Honesty#like Vegeta's not insulted by Snark bitch he grew up in the Freeza force that man was raised by THE bitchiest drag queens#Vegeta's insulted by someone saying something deeply and insultingly True to his face as if it's the fucking weather#Goku in the anime is like 'a battle of wits hoho' but Goku's purity is part of the joke he's not snippy he's just got no social etiquette#He's just honest! He's not trying to be insulting. That's what MAKES it insulting! That's the WHOLE GAG of why Vegeta can't stand him#Goku is always just telling the truth and it's always the rudest shit Vegeta's ever heard in his life#'it's a sunny day! i'm way stronger than you! see you out there bud!' 10000% Genuinely Friendly. Golden Retriever-Ass Pure.#Infuriating. Hilarious.#anyway I looked at anime clips to make sure I remembered things right and that was a mistake#as someone who has a soft spot for it and grew up on it -- compared to the manga it's bad and it's always been bad#and toriyama was right to be disinterested in watching it jesus christ they BUTCHERED his work#anyway this has been another shot of haterade with sketches thank you for scrolling my rambletags askljdask#dbtag#i just truly can't get over how they make Vegeta call her 'woman' in the anime and he literally only ever calls her Bulma in the manga#except for on namek when he refers to her as 'the/that woman' because she is a complete stranger#why is he calling her woman like he's a 1940s american husband and not an extraterrestrial from a deeply advanced society toei
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n*loth is literally a demon i mean iHold on YAAASSSSS!
i mean it 😒😒😒
#text#nlvs very universal love story i believe from n*loth POV it can be read as a normal romance if you ignore all the concerning shit he's -#- thinking. but from t*lvas POV and 3rd person it's an actual horror story (deserve)#but tbh not even t*lvas is as scared as the 3rd party witnessing all of it happen . if there was a 3rd parttyyy. omg. so sad#anyways enough about them..... i wanted to talk about drawing ✍#i think traditional art has a lot of power to kick you to improving especially if you're trying it for the first time after a really long -#- while (Meee) and it doesn't feel as 'consumeristic' as digital art feels to me#cus anytime i sit down to draw something digitally 9 times outta 10 i'll just be trying to out-do myself in the way i execute an idea#in terms of colors or composition or anything i can do#such a tryharddd iUUugh but in traditional i turn my brain off and live the same life and share a brain with my pencil. and nothing feels -#- boring. or like 'i already drew this 😑' i'll just be chilling#but @ the same time it might stunt me because of it's comfortability#i mean idc but still i can get better in many ways && i want tu ......#to Be honest it feels like i can only do 'Cool' ideas digitally and traditional is for stuff that is 'easier'#but it is indeed freeing#i love u-god bbbbbbbbb#i mean not like i do art studies a lot cus i don't think it's something i need at this very moment i'm happy with where my art is#but @ heart i will always! Always be a tryhard#like look at what i can doo (speaking to mirror)#my nelothian narcissism ......? Huh#i love adding -ian to pairings and names now
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breakups are so fucking weird. three years and just like that it's gone. huh
#helix.txt#gross i ended up spilling my guts in tags. look at them fucking writhing on the floor all bloody#dont rb please#vent#to quote fall out boy i knew it was over i just didn't know the date#yeah that's it. fall out boy can fix this.#i will feel better if i go listen to bang the doldrums#and infinity on high in general#and folie a deux. folie a fucking deux how i love that album#my chem will make me better. gerard way save me#god what a weird feeling. you used to know me better than any other person but then you moved hundreds of miles away and it worked#for a while. then two years later you said it wasnt working and that this was best for both of us. guess i never got the memo for that one#hope we treat other people better because i wasn't as kind as i should have been towards the end and you were never as thoughtful or con-#-siderate as i needed towards the end. we grew apart because you're bad at keeping contact over messaging#and in some ways the cracks in the foundation that grew from that were my fault too i guess. our conversations always felt one sided#maybe i was smothering you#you could never seem to keep more than a passing recollection of the things i liked or even pay much attention to them#but i wasn't great about that either#we just became different people. you weren't what i wanted or needed and you couldn't do long distance. whatever#i know it was the right thing i just wish it hadn't made me feel so damn awful#will we still talk after this? who knows. we didn't end on bad terms but things are definitely weird#and considering your track record with people you can only talk to online i'm not optimistic#you tried to break things off initially by saying you'd said you would improve in the past with nothing to show for it#something i didn't disagree with but i said it didn't bother me much. and it didn't#but it's complicated now. i did deserve better. but you made it clear i'm not getting it from you#you weren't as present or thoughtful as i needed#i wasn't there in person the way you needed and certainly not as considerate as i should have been. and for that second part i'm truly sorr#anyways. sorry. i'd been thinking about it for a long time anyway. i didn't want to admit it because i didn't like to think#about what it might bring. maybe i should have been braver#right. that's enough
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Some scribbles :) (Patreon)
#Doodles#Original#Texture work is original sure lol#Went in hard on one of those Drawing Advice posts about ''Hey - literally just put pencil to paper and go no worries''#It was fun :D I Do still want to just doodle freely sometimes!#I still enjoy some structure to it so I ended making a grid of various like map-style textures to tell different biomes apart lol#But just general funsies scribbles were pretty good! I enjoyed the lot :)#S'good to just Make with abandon sometimes haha#I really like the hatching effect generally and it's something I want to improve at/implement more so the practice was nice there :)#Layering on paper/with only the one digital layer is always an interesting exercise in negative space and keeping things readable#I like drawing clouds with notably flat bottoms haha I think it's funny that they just sit there#I guess I'm used to cirrus clouds a lot so seeing cumulus big puffies with a clear delineation between bottom and the rest is just fun to me#They look like toys! Designed to sit! But they're just up there! How fun!#Squiggly branches/veins was something I did a tooon as a kid before I got into Drawing On Purpose y'know#Just pages and pages of branches on branches#And curls that curled away from each other - did a little bit of that with the circles and lines but not that much haha#I dunno if I still have any but it's interesting how that dwindled down to basically never over time#I definitely know what I prefer to draw these days but hmm still wonder a bit!#And loop-di-loops haha I was thinking of Erase quite a lot for that one honestly#And the way some Disney Princesses give autographs which one is it-#Belle! I remember when I got her autograph years ago and was really enamoured with the flourish :D#Grace and elegance in shape! Ah! So cool#That and RGB from TPoH haha - all these swoopies! I like them very much :)
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Just had the idea of doing a Roxy askblog that's based on it being a secret blog she's not allowed to have and every so often if someone asks her something she just says stuff like "To the Fazspy reading this, I'm not the real Roxy." to try and throw the staff off her trail lmao
Will probably never make a blog like that, but it could be kinda funny. Maybe I bring the idea of an 'ask Roxy anything' game back where I draw the answers for it instead so it's not a whole ass blog dedicated to Roxy being a sneaky lil shit on the internet
#there's several reasons I probably won't do it but it's a fun spin on stuff#roxy exploring the closed off parts of the plex in first person lmao#taking pictures like 'look see? its right there!' and she's pointing at literally nothing because the camera doesn't see what her eyes see#could be funny!#but doing things is... I would say it's improving but not really#it's improving in a maybe it is maybe it isn't sort of way so who knows if I'll ever get to do it anyway#ANYWAY yeah I'll probs not do this. literally no one would interact with it#the people are bored of my plex history stuff anyway so like... yeah it's cool I know when something won't work#an askblog only works if it gets asks and uh yeah the amount of askblogs I've seen die off within a week here because of that is crazy#no thank you to that I think!#I'm not putting the effort into something like that just to have it die so fast#hi if you read this far go find an askblog and pester the shit out of them it's fun#I haven't seen any around for a while but I also can't view half of tumblr on my phone#so it's really fucking hard to see them even if I follow them :(#but yeah if there's any sb askblogs out there or anyone that wants to have a go at it tag me in a post.#I WILL show up to be silly in your inbox though I may not always remember the plot if there is one#again. I can't see half of tumblr on mobile and that includes blogs but I'll do my best man#askblogs are fun! they're goofy and chaotic!#highly recommend!! I haven't ran one in years but they were very fun!!#ANYWAY Roxy just making posts like 'Jerry. Sandy. I know what you two keep doing in the Gator Golf caravan. :)'#just name dropping random plex guests to be like 'I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE' for shits and giggles#'who are they?' 'oh just two morons that dont know I know Everything Ever. Don't worry about it.'#ya know?? fun! goofy shit! could be funny!#random pictures from inside the plex like 'lmao they think I cant see them' and its just a fucking wall like yeah I wonder why#maybe it's the fucking wall in the way who knows? it's a mystery sdfdsf#pop rox talks
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just did the word's shortest stream testing new CLOSED CAPTIONS ON TWITCH!!!!!! YEAAAA ACCESSIBILITY!!!!
there should now be a captions toggle on both PC and mobile in the lower right corner of the video! you can change the font size, line height, text position, and more - it's totally user-customizable :D
#auropost#i think i saw a dyslexic-friendly font option too!#thank you SO much to the person who suggested this extension to me#i'm always looking for ways to improve my streams and i think this is gonna really help
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#my art#elijah#oc#rp oc#artists on tumblr#enjoying just focusing on portraits#slowly working my way through the rp babes#I think I'm slowly getting better at coloring#always heartening to look back on old art and see improvement
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Day 11 of 30: I haven't updated in a few days, but that doesn't mean I haven't still been on track! I have exceeded the 1666 daily word goal every single day this week, and today was no exception: today, I wrote 3559 words (wowie zowie) and my total word count for the month is now 23,873.
Y'all, that is NUTS. I'm almost halfway there. I've never in my life gotten this far during NaNoWriMo, and even if I don't make it to 50k words by the end of this, I'm still so insanely proud of myself you guys have no idea
#i really do think I've improved as an author because of this too. normally I'm way too quick to go into editing mode#but completing this challenge is requiring me to NOT go there which is HUGE#like learning to be happy that i got words on the page even tho they're not good? that’s monumental.#i always lose momentum when i'm writing because i get discouraged that the words aren’t coming out right and then i just stop writing#but this month i'm like ''that's not the word i'm looking for. oh well i don't have time for this i gotta just keep writing''#and i know this is the most basic writing tip but for once i'm actually forcing myself to follow it#(but also not to brag or nothin but the stuff i wrote today? *chef's kiss* this was some good writing)
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me everytime I am preparing a meal with multiple elements I have to balance so they all finish cooking at the same time: Wow this is just like the 2009 hit Nintendo Wii game 'Food Network: Cook Or Be Cooked'
#or like if I'm making two things and one finishes cooking before the other and has to sit there and get cold#in my brain it's always like 'tsk tsk.. they would deduct points from my score for that' hjhjb#one of those instances of game mechanics imprinting onto your brain. kind of like imagining sims interaction moodlets in irl conversations#i LOVE the game though it's so fun. I've never even heard of it before I just found it by the dumpster in a box of other old wii#games someone was apparently discarding and picked it up due to my interest in cooking shows and stuff#I like having to time things and all the little actions you can do. though sad that there's so little recipes#you can unlock the whole game in like a day or something. I think if I had more time and social energy to actually talk in forums or be par#of a 'community' - I think looking into the type of stuff where people mod wii games and etc. would be very very cool#Wii is my favorite console and so much of the time I am always like 'grrr.. they dont make new games.. and this one game is very cool#but imagine if these 5 improvments were made to it! it would be SO much cooler!' etc.#Like being able to download new custom recipes/levels for Cook or Be Cooked lol#Modding wii sports resort the same way that some people mod skyrim and build entirely new games out of it#with new quests and etc. Like just.. create your own sports.. RPG mode.. use the already existing archery assets and etc. to have a mode#where you can just free roam around the map shooting at enemies and stuff ghhjbjh#WHICH I WOULD LOVE DEARLY..#I dont realyl like combat in games but idk I'd make an exception.. whatever.. I just want to play more in the Wii World#I have the soul of one of those people who builds all their own computers and 3D prints custom frames to transplant their 3DS into and#has like all special 'hacked' phones and wii mods and customizes everything and etc. etc. like.. 100% my exact personality and preferences#HOWEVER I just simply do not have the money or physical energy/time to get onto projects like that#The best I can hope for is one day having a close friend who does that so I can maybe use their 3D printer every once in a while or we both#collaborate on some wii modding project or etc. but I just couldn't on my own.. I already have too much stuff going on.. Have to make#compromises due to lack of money + low energy + busy. Like I could never build my own phone. I could save up for a teracube phone#or something so it's better and more repairable than all these dumbass modern phones you cant even take the backs off of. but that's probab#y the best I could do lol. ANYWAY.. Especially wii customization. I could get really into that.. I saw a picture one time of someone who#made like a semi transparent case for theirs kind of like the famous purplish see through gameboy color case but for a wii.. which is.. aAA#yearning crying sobbing etc. etc. so on and so forth
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what this fic's gotten to so far is a collection of extremely specific experiences
#bakuspeech#sk8 the infinity#hasegawa langa#kyan reki#burnished house#<- fic name for tag babeyy#(it has not begun posting yet. I'm trying to finish the first chapter lol)#???? renga?? kind of????#well it's the first chapter. and also. it's me#but! I've kinda nailed down where I want this thing to go. which is the important part. everything else can be improv#(I do not recommend doing your writing this way)#man I can Not wait to show u guys (the five people who care about both sk8 and robots) the screencap I got from yumi#to whom I confided the endgame of this. I am Kind Of proud of it. this one goes out to you myhouse dot wad#(nobody dies whos alive in canon dw. you know me)#it's actually so funny looking back on the three fics Ive written for sk8 so far and like#SEE how much of a nerd I am. skating is always in the undercurrent of the world yes. but most of the screentime is about art#I am trying to fix that in this one lmao. I'm trying to Understand Sport. this is the funniest thing to say about fanwork for a sport anime#well. today did end up being about finishing the script for the funny haha speedpaint-adjacent video instead#so. tomorrow. Im gonna try and power thru the rest of this chapter. and then! I'll clean up for ink comm#thats the schedule. thats all for today folks! enjoy sun OR wind#have a good night! if u draw on ur skin try not using sharpie please
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not this *special and rare* INFJ coming after me after i stated the facts she didn't want to see in front of her face bc she's an *special and rare* INFJ
mistyped INFJs you're the scum of this community
#she was like “oh it's so hard to be a ni dom bc most people are se doms and they're so superficial 😭”#i told her poeple can relate well to others regardless of functions#that as we all use an intuitive and sensing function we all use it at some point#so she ALSO uses her inf se#and defended se doms bc i'm tired of the stereotype they're superficial#any rype can be superficial even ni doms :))))))#i've met se doms who were amazing people with lots of depth in their personality#she answered with “just look at the facts!!! look about se doms out there they're lazy bitches!!!”#Yeah as if the time ni doms spend “wondering” about “the meaning of life” didn't make them lazy as well#every type can be lazy#every type can be superficial#tired of these “Ni doms” claiming they're so special and deep#listen my mom is an (actual) INFJ#my father was an ISTP#she related very well with his auxiliary se#even if it was her inferior function#she always looked at it like a way to learn to use it#and to improve her weakness#I WILL DEFEND SE DOMS LIKE ANY OTHER TYPES 🔫🔫🔫🔫#all types have amazing people#and all types have shitty people#stereotyping just makes you stupid
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#tw: fatphobia#just in case#idk i got recommended a video titled something something glow up#and the character gets bullied bc theyre fat and then someone is nice to them and suddenly they don't wanna be fat anymore.#I don't mind the idea of self improvement especially thru the body but literally any time a character makes a *Drastic good change* of#themselves it's that wow now they're a generic skinny anime boy and is hot by conventional standards now!#Does that make sense?#Like I don't mind it I guess every once in a while but it's the fact that it's ALWAYS the case#I'm fat myself so its just :|#So i'll watch them turn into the most generic design as a glow up supposedly when I actually thought they looked way cute before LMAO#also the video the character stopped wearing glasses#like I get maybe the character could've switched to contacts but seriously?#glasses make him look to interesting we have to get rid of them#everyone in the comments of the video were also like This is so inspiring like#what is???
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Sometimes I see myself in the mirror and think 'it looks like I've lost weight!' but then in the same day I can see myself and think I've gained
#miranda talking shit#I cant rightfully judge myself like i cant tell unless i have numbers to go by#And i dont... I dont own an scale /:#I just know last time i did weight myself was about a year ago and then i was like 96kg which is as bif as ive been I believe#But after that i did continue to binge for a while so i may have gotten to 100 tbh#Now ive been monitoring my calories for about 7 months? Usually stay in 1700-1800 calories some days i go under#And once every other week or so i go over#If i have lost weight i cant say its been in the best or correct way but at least better than when i had my starvation year in 2015-2016#Im kinda curious though if i have and how much or if I'm just imaging it#I cant tell bc of my messed of self image. When i was heavily undereating for a year i didnt realize#I had lost weight until my sister pointed out that I looked thinner/good and then i got weighted and i was like 70kg which is considered#Normap for people my height but i have never before then been in the normal weight range always been at least 10kg over the line#My weight and me will probably never be friends. Can say feom experience losing my extra weight and being 'thinner' didnt help#Me at all and i still hated to see myself/thought i was fat. Now i have an improved self-image but i also have my doubts#If I'd actually feel more confident losing weight. Bc i cant 'see it' i just feel big/huge#Idk where im going with this all as usual but yeah just ranting i guess
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it's actually really adorable reading my notes while i was going through heavensward for the first time
#🌙.rambles#[ ffxiv. ]#THAT WAS NEARLY EXACTLY TWO YEARS AGO ?? march ily fr#i am. so enthusiastic here. evidently so very passionate abt ffxiv n i was enjoying myself sm it makes me smile so much#this is so funny the lil gbf notes i have here too#oh my god i was playing ffxiv n gbf actively back then that is a nightmare#oh yeah damn i empathized sm w my wol#i'm. still really grateful actually bcs ffxiv genuinely helped w making it easier for me to cry#this actually hits hard but in a way that. sort of comforts me#in the end i'm proud of myself for improving n stuff n. perhaps yeah healing from some stuff that happened a few months prior#but like. ffxiv rlly did help. i was an anxious n social wreck then n had no support system other than my family n stuff like video games n#i think writing got even harder for me for a while#but ffxiv rlly just#it helped a lot. n i'll forever be grateful for that#yeah that reminds me. drk's rlly special to me bcs it rlly reminded me of some things that helped me be kinder to myself#n now just. looking back ik i've gone a long way. n just reading this from the past makes me really proud of myself#'i don't fucking know how to phrase this' while talking abt hope n resolve is still so me#i'm rlly gna sleep it's nearly 3 n help tumblr's rlly one of my diaries or wtvr atp but#i mean. i won't write it all ofc but i'm just. no matter what i'll always have myself. n my family. esp apollo.#i'm rlly proud of myself n my. resolve is renewed damn i'm motivated but i'll sleep
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march of last year versus today! :D
#art#my art#artists on tumblr#digital art#i'm so happy with how i've improved#like i know for the first half of last year i knew i had sooome way to go#i know i do now too but i love knowing that i'm never stagnant#//fantastic! another reason to look ahead#writing it on the wall in my mind along with other odds and ends :>#like for example; Disco Shark#i must have it#it doesn't quite fit with most things i like but there's always room for Disco Shark#//anyway! [Becomes the Disco Shark]
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