#but completing this challenge is requiring me to NOT go there which is HUGE

[babsworlds]

MR. & MRS. JOHNSON.

pairing. Tangerine x assassin! fem! reader

synopsis. your long time boyfriend proposes in really unexpected situation.

warnings. violence, murder, nasty man, tangerine’s last name being Johnson.

YOU AND TANGERINE HAD BEEN TOGETHER SINCE YOUR EARLY TWENTIES, an unusual but strong partnership. You rarely argued, started a unique job together, and always looked out for each other.

As assassins, your lives were full of danger. Because of this, you never got married or had kids. Marriage seemed unnecessary, and having a child would require a stable, normal job and time, which you didn't have.

Despite this, your love remained strong. Your bond went beyond traditional milestones, built on shared experiences and trust. You knew that no matter what, you could always count on each other.

Today, you and Tangerine were sent on a mission together: to play husband and wife and take out the boss of a notorious mafia.

Nothing too challenging for you two. You had been together for almost ten years, so pretending to be husband and wife was second nature to you both. It was completely believable.

Unfortunately, the third member of your trio, Lemon, was missing. He had fallen ill and had to decline the job, leaving just the two of you to carry out the mission.

You stood in front of the fancy building in Paris where the party and your target were supposed to be.

You wore a long black dress, elegant yet practical, allowing you to move freely or fight if needed. "I hope you have a gun, my wife," Tangerine said, glancing at you with a smirk.

You rolled your eyes playfully, lifting the hem of your dress to reveal a small belt with a gun and knife strapped over your nylons. "Of course," you replied confidently.

You stepped inside, Tangerine’s hand lightly on your lower back. The extravagant energy of the party enveloped you, with the sound of laughter, clinking glasses, and soft music filling the air.

The opulent surroundings were a stark contrast to the dangerous mission you were on. But you and Tangerine were professionals, and you knew what you were doing.

“Mr. and Mrs. Johnson, we were waiting for you,” a man greeted you, handing you glasses of wine. He recognized you because your organization had been monitoring this mafia for a long time. It wasn’t your first time here

You walked through the lounge, surrounded by people in black dresses and suits, blending in seamlessly. While Tangerine engaged in conversation with the man, you scanned the room, searching for your target.

The elegant setting and lively atmosphere contrasted sharply with the deadly mission ahead. You knew you had to stay focused and alert. As your eyes swept the room, you took in the details: the layout, the exits, and the faces of the guests. Every piece of information could be crucial.

You needed to find the boss quickly. "Pardon me, I’ll go to the bathroom," you excused yourself, giving your fake husband a knowing look.

Tangerine nodded subtly, continuing his conversation with the man, maintaining your cover. You slipped away from the lounge and navigated through the elegant hallways, scanning each room for any sign of the target.

You walked through the narrow, quiet halls until you heard a familiar voice coming from behind a huge set of doors. It was your target.

Suddenly, the door pushed open, and you quickly hid around the corner, your heart pounding in your chest. A group of mysterious men exited the room, their hushed conversations creating an air of tension. You observed them closely, noting their sharp suits and the way they moved with practiced ease. These were no ordinary guests.

You held your breath, watching as they walked down the hallway, their footsteps echoing in the otherwise quiet corridor. It was clear they were involved in something important, but to your relief, the boss wasn't among them. Once the coast was clear, you cautiously approached the door again, your senses heightened.

You looked into the room inconspicuously, confirming that the boss was alone. You decided to play it like you had gotten lost—a simple trick for an experienced assassin like yourself, but effective on men like him.

"You must be the girl I ordered," the boss said with a sleazy grin. You felt a wave of disgust at his words, not wanting to think about what he meant. But you played along, knowing that maintaining your cover was crucial.

With a practiced smile, you stepped into the room, closing the door behind you. "Yes, I got a bit turned around," you said, your voice light and casual. "I'm glad I found the right place."

The boss chuckled, clearly pleased with himself. "Well, now that you're here, let's get down to business," he said, leaning back in his chair.

You acted innocent, sitting yourself at the table in front of him. He looked at you, licking his lips. "So, tell me something about yourself," he said, his tone dripping with sleaze.

You forced a smile, trying to hide your disgust. "Well, I'm just a simple girl who loves adventure," you replied, keeping your voice light and playful. "I enjoy exploring new places and meeting interesting people."

The boss leaned in closer, clearly intrigued. "Interesting people, huh? Well, you've certainly come to the right place," he said with a smirk.

"And what would you like?" he asked, his voice dripping with arrogance, his chubby, disgusting fingers dancing on your thigh.

You leaned closer to his ear, your breath warm against his skin. "You,” you whispered, your tone deceptively sweet. Before he could react, you reached for your hidden knife, dedicating him a fast, swift stab in neck.

You pulled the knife from his neck, blood splashing everywhere. The boss held the deathly wound with his palm, trying to stop the bleeding. He reached for a gun in his drawer and tried to shoot you.

Tangerine could hear the loud noises even from the lounge. His instincts kicked in as he saw the security guards rushing towards the source of the commotion. It was a clear signal that you needed help.

Without hesitation, he sprang into action. With precise ease, he took down the guards one by one, his movements fluid and efficient. Each guard fell swiftly, leaving no chance to raise the alarm.

Making his way to the room, Tangerine's mind raced. He knew you were skilled, but the situation seemed to be escalating. As he approached, the noise grew louder, and he could sense the urgency in the air.

He stormed through the door, his eyes widening as he saw you and your target lying there lifeless. "Whoa, love," he whistled, making his way to you. His concern was evident as he cupped your face in his large hands, his touch surprisingly gentle.

"Are you okay?" he asked, his eyes scanning your face as he noticed the blood.

"Yeah, it's his," you answered, trying to wipe the blood off your face. The adrenaline was still coursing through your veins, but his presence brought a sense of calm.

He let out a sigh of relief, his thumb gently brushing away a stray tear. "You had me worried there for a moment."

"We need to get out of here!" you said with urgency. Tangerine grabbed your hand, and you both ran through the door, only to be met by another group of security guards with guns drawn.

Without hesitation, Tangerine dragged you back into the room, slamming the door shut behind you. "We need to barricade this," he said, his voice steady despite the chaos.

You quickly moved to help him, grabbing drawers, chairs, and anything else you could find to block the door. The sound of the guards pounding on the other side only fueled your determination.

Suddenly, the guards started shooting at the door, the loud bangs echoing through the room. Your heart pounded in your chest as you and Tangerine flipped the table, using it as cover. The bullets tore through the door, splinters flying everywhere.

You huddled behind the table, your breath coming in short, panicked bursts. You were kinda scared, no lie. The reality of the situation hit you hard, the adrenaline making your hands tremble.

"Y/N?!" Tangerine shouted through the loud noises of bullets. You turned to him, signaling you were listening, your heart still racing from the intensity of the situation.

"Will you marry me?" he asked, his voice filled with urgency and sincerity.

You knitted your brows together, thinking he must be joking. "What?!" you acted like you couldn’t hear him, wanting him to say it again.

"I said," he started, taking a deep breath amidst the chaos, "Will you marry me?!"

You stared at him, your mind racing as you tried to process what he was saying. The bullets continued to ricochet off the barricaded door, but in that moment, everything else seemed to fade away.

Despite the absurdity of the timing, you could see the genuine emotion in his eyes. He wasn’t joking. He was serious.

You tried to calm down your racing thoughts, taking a deep breath. "Yeah," you breathed out, the word carrying a mix of relief and excitement. "Yeah, I will!" you shouted, the exhilaration flooding through you.

Without hesitation, you reached for him, pulling him into a kiss. The world around you seemed to disappear as your lips met, the chaos and danger momentarily forgotten. In that moment, all that mattered was the connection you shared, the love that had brought you together.

As the kiss deepened, you felt a sense of certainty and hope. Despite the challenges and secrets that lay ahead, you knew that you were ready to face them together. The guards, the missions—none of it mattered as long as you had each other.

"Why didn't you ask me earlier?!" you asked, a mix of excitement and curiosity in your voice.

"I didn't have the balls for it!" he admitted, his honesty making you chuckle despite the tense situation.

Your laughter was a brief, welcome relief from the chaos surrounding you. Even in the midst of danger, you found solace in each other. The bullets continued to pound against the barricaded door, but for a moment, it felt like it was just the two of you.

"Well, better late than never," you said, squeezing his hand.

You didn't even notice there was silence, no more noises. You stood up, looking around the room, the sudden quiet almost surreal after the chaos.

"Tangerine! Y/N!" A familiar voice shouted from outside. You and Tangerine shared a look, your hearts pounding in unison. "It's me!”

And then you realized. It was Lemon. He had saved you, again.

You and Tangerine shared another look, a mix of relief and disbelief washing over you. "Lemon?!" you both asked at the same time, your voices echoing in the now quiet room.

[catrillion]

Day 11 of 30: I haven't updated in a few days, but that doesn't mean I haven't still been on track! I have exceeded the 1666 daily word goal every single day this week, and today was no exception: today, I wrote 3559 words (wowie zowie) and my total word count for the month is now 23,873.

Y'all, that is NUTS. I'm almost halfway there. I've never in my life gotten this far during NaNoWriMo, and even if I don't make it to 50k words by the end of this, I'm still so insanely proud of myself you guys have no idea

[heloflor]

Me playing Mario vs Donkey Kong: Man this game is so janky! I’ve got so many unnecessary deaths because of it! How are you supposed to do some of this stuff?!

Also me playing Mario vs Donkey Kong:

[cerastes]

Today is Day 9 Of Me Playing Girls' Frontline 2.

Like any other gacha, the start is braindead because they need even the most non-sentient of creatures to be able to clear. This is nothing new, but it really stuck out like a sore thumb in this particular case because this game heavily uses the XCOM formula as its inspiration. For the uninitiated, the original 1994 X-COM: UFO Defense starts incredibly brutal and only gets harder as you advance. The 2012 reboot, XCOM: Enemy Unknown starts reasonably brutal and scales pretty harshly and always demanding you really, really are learning what your tools can do and what the game mechanics are as you basically fight an asymmetrical Civilization III game against an opponent that 1) outguns you most of the way and 2) fights you with the hatefulness one only reserves for someone that has fucked one's wife. GFL2 starts you off against enemies that require absolutely no tactical acumen whatsoever, that do not use cover, and that deal pitiful amounts of damage even if you yourself don't use cover. This lasts a little too long for comfort but again it's industry standard. Once you get to parts of the game that require sentience, it's fun to see how they've gone about the flow of combat: You're basically pitting your characters with their own special conditions, specialties and passives against many enemies that initially are simple as hell (they just move and shoot) but steadily become more complex and nuanced (enemies that target an area for bombardment at the end of their turn, enemies that can counter in specific circumstance, enemies that trap your enemies with overwatch fire, reaction intereceptions, AoE, etc). The system definitely has potential. I've yet to truly find anything actually challenging that wasn't me fighting enemies 10-20 levels higher than my units, but the fundamentals of cover and risk-reward are there even on-level; if you get shot at completely exposed, you are going to take hefty damage (unless you are rocking a Suomi shield).

The biggest departure from XCOM proper is that there is no accuracy: All attacks will always hit, unless certain abilities outright deny the damage -- like certain enemy Medics that can use the Anesthesia skill to negate one instance of damage -- and the game really favors a more aggressive style for both the player and the enemy through the Stability System: All units have a Stability counter, which decreases by certain amounts depending on the attack received. Once it's depleted, units can only benefit from the most bare and basic defensive effects of cover, which are not very good. Stability Break also may have additional special effects on certain enemies, chiefly bosses, resulting in extra damage taken, reduced attack power, changing forms, losing certain active or passive skills, etc. As a huge fan of systems like this, I Enjoy.

The game is gorgeous looking: The environments are highly detailed, the character models are incredibly well made, the guns are lovingly sculpted. I know the overarching meme is that it's got the best anime girl feet in the industry -- and it's true, they put more love into rendering and modelling these girls' feet, stockings and socks that I've seen parents put into raising their children -- but the model quality is truly overarching, they spared no effort in any obvious area, it's a really gorgeous looking game. The sound design and the music are all fine and have not wowed me in any special way, really, but visually, good lord, the game truly does go hard. Another thing the game does really well is video cutscenes, the action and choreography of actually very decently lengthy cutscenes they show pretty often go very hard, with good explosions, good gunplay, fluid and good looking motions, etc. The animation direction in GFL2 is really, really good, something I wasn't expecting given they've not really delved on this area particularly in previous games. They probably hired a really good studio for this-slash-got themselves some very talented and skilled personnel for it.

The game economy is Post-Mihoyo style: There's a set cast of Max Rarity characters, called Elites in the game's nomenclature, that inhabit a Standard Banner with absolutely fucking horrendous rates. 0.6% chance of rolling anything Max Rarity, 0.3% of an Elite Doll, 0.3% of an Elite Weapon. Besides this, there's the Limited Banners, which is every banner ever, meaning post-launch Elites are all Limited with a Limited Signature Weapon. In other words, shit sucks. The only saving grace is that the game, in thankfully true XCOM fashion, is much less about having Strong Individual Units, and much more about having a team with good synergy, and there's plenty of great non-Elites you'll have plenty of copies of. Gameplaywise, you won't get shafted by not having the Newest Woman With A Broken Kit, which is good. Signature Weapons so far from what I've seen are very nice to have but no functionality is tied to them and no character feels incomplete without their Signature Weapon or without multiples dupes, which is really good practice and a deal breaker for me if it's present. About the only stupidly broken character I can think off right this second is definitely Suomi, who supports so incredibly well that she lets you Not Play XCOM. She's seriously and hilariously busted and futureproofed.

The writing is pretty damn stiff. This is nothing new with Sunborn. The thing with Sunborn is that when it hits highs, they are VERY high, but the trip to those highs is clunky and stiff, with an overabundance of nothingburger technobabble and tacticool filler dialogue that, were this a megahit the way One Piece is, would definitely inspire a dogged group of fans to make a website that tells you exactly where to read and where to skip to avoid all the meaningless filler. Even if you like some tacticool, it's just SO much of it that serves no purpose. The characters are... Unfortunately, not super fun. Our old friend Oats, ahem, Groza (OTs-14) is there, and she's fun, but the rest of the characters have not done a good job to endear me to them: Colphne I'm pretty ok with, Nemesis and Krolik really have exhausted the fucks I can give for them by this point (I'm in Chapter 4). This is particularly painful in the case of Nemesis for me, a character whose design I really, really love and who I was looking forward to a lot. Nemesis' whole thing is that she literally cannot speak normally and has to communicate entirely in cryptic theater kid ramblings, and Krolik conversely only exists as the only person that can somehow accurately decipher what the fuck it is she's saying. This is charming for all of three cutscenes before it becomes very old and basically filler: Nemesis says "The embers of starlight long forgotten by statues lingers in the fingertips of the deaf" and Krolik replies with "Hah!? Who are you calling a coward?! I'll beat you up!" because Nemesis shittalks Krolik a lot, and that's the crux of both of their personalities. I know they are building Nemesis for something else but good lord it's torturous and stale. There's a Super Powered Child that I don't care about and she's the main plot device. Mayling is funny and endearing, and I like her. We meet characters from Ye Olde GFL 1 days and so far it's been pretty nice every time: Suomi, Lenna (UMP9), Kalina, Leva (UMP45), always a good time hanging with them. I particularly enjoy how divorced Commander and Kalina are. Oh, the Commander (your character) is an actual character, fully voiced and all, I like that a lot, and I like them. You can choose a male or female Commander, with fully 3D rendered distinct non-obscured, non-masked models and that's pretty damn cool. Still, can't help but miss the bangers that were ST AR-15, RO635, DEFY, and others from GFL1.

There's plenty of stuff to do without using Stamina, especially event stuff, but I fear that once you run out of it, you enter that weird limbo of "logging in, autoclearing the RNG drops mode, logging out". I'm not there yet but I dread reaching it. I know they just launched the game here (1 year old in CN) but, I guess I've been immensely spoiled by Arknights' several replayable game modes, this game, being XCOM in nature, would ROCK a roguelite mode or some sort of replayable game mode so much.

Overall, it's been a pretty nice time, as someone who dropped but nonetheless greatly enjoyed GFL, it's great seeing the Old Friends better than ever. My friend Suomi and my friend Tololo (CHILE MENTIONED 🇨🇱🇨🇱🇨🇱) are there for me and I'm glad to hang out with them again. I wish my friend Sabrina would also join me sooner than later :'). Color me surprised that so far, the gameplay seems both fun and has potential, but we'll see how it goes from here. Overall: Good first impression.

Say something nice about my friend Tololo

[festivalsofmargot]

Pining in Potions Class {Sebastian Sallow x GN!Reader}

Introduction: Sebastian Sallow is forming a huge crush on you, and it’s hitting him all at once in a very annoying way. Something as simple as not being partnered with you in potions class eats away at him. Gotta love some jealous Sebastian. Takes place after MC has met Anne and before completing his final mission. Some levity to enjoy being students with crushes.

Word Count: ~ 2,600

Warnings: None really, just some Hogwarts students crushing on each other from afar.

Author’s Note: You ever get in trouble with a teacher in class and look at your friend who’s trying not to laugh then you struggle not to laugh? That’s exactly the experience I was thinking of writing this haha. Come on, Sebastian Sallow and MC are the next Ron and Hermione, you can’t convince me otherwise. (Though I really head cannon over Sebastian and a hufflepuff) I wrote this so it was gender neutral and non house specific.

Songs (if interested): 

Hold Me Tight - Berlinist

She - dodie

WACKY - Matt Watson

Lady May - Tyler Childers

That day in potions class, Professor Sharp had told the students to partner up for the day’s brew, the focus potion. You and Garreth Weasley, being near each other already, looked at one another and gave an innocent shrug of your shoulders, agreeing to partner up.

Sebastian had partnered up with Natty and couldn’t help but glance your direction. He felt a pang of jealousy when he saw how close you and Garreth were standing when reading over the recipe in the text book. Quickly convincing himself he wasn’t bothered, he looked down at his and Natty’s station, trying to focus.

But he was bothered. You had still been around to help whenever he asked, but he couldn’t help feeling this distance starting to grow between the two of you. He had found himself coming up with any and every excuse to get you to help him with something, otherwise he didn’t think he’d be able to see you outside of class. He noticed you had a lot of assignments to do that required you to leave Hogwarts so he’s offered to go along to help. But every time he did you turned him down, saying you understood how busy he was with his research and would ask Poppy or Natty if you needed anything.

Today’s missed opportunity caused him to tap his fingers on the desk in annoyance as he looked over the ingredients. He wished he had some sort of a heads up if they were going to need partners in any of the classes they shared together. That way he could be proactive with where he sat next time.

“The reason I’ve partnered you up today,” Professor Sharp began, “is not because of the difficulty of the potion, the potion’s ingredients are few and very easy to keep balanced. The real challenge lies in the preparation of the ingredients. It will be strenuous work squeezing the juice from your dugbog tongues." The class made a collective sound of disgust which brought an amused smirk to the Professor’s face. 

Among the class’s sounds of repulsion, Sebastian heard you trying to stifle your giggles. His envy only grew when he realized your laughter was a response to something Weasley had whispered to you.

“Now, a slimy dugbog tongue will work fine, but a dried up tongue will make the potion not only more effective, it can last longer as well. Use the tools I’ve given to you to dry out the tongues, your arms will get tired so let your partner know when you need them to take over. Begin.”

Sebastian and Natty gave each other an inquisitive look, unsure of how to get started. 

“I guess we’ll start with the rolling pin?” Natty suggested, grabbing it and then making work of squeezing the juice out of the tongue. It was much harder than she expected. The more she rolled, the tougher it felt. “Whew! This is going to tire me out fast, be ready to switch, Sebastian.”

“Right.” Sebastian said. While he waited for Natty to finish her round, he couldn’t stop his gaze from wandering your way. He found it cute how you were trying to stand on your tiptoes when rolling out the dugbog tongue, hoping gravity would help you out if you were able to get more of your weight on it.

“Woah, Garreth.” You said, letting out an exhausted breath, feeling the burn in your arms. “Would you mind going to hang up my robes while I do my turn?” You asked as you shed the garment. You weren’t a stranger to physical labor, you knew when you were going to work up a sweat.

“No problem.” Garreth said, taking your robes and shedding off his own as well. “Was going to do the same myself. Not my first dugbog tongue, unfortunately.”

As Garreth walked off to the back of the class to hang up your robes, you rolled up your sleeves and got back to work.

Sebastian had a slight longing it was him who you had asked to hang up your robes as his eyes roamed up and down your backside. He didn’t think the school uniform fit anyone quite as well as it fit you. Realizing what he was doing, he mentally chastised himself and snapped his attention back to his table. At that point, Natty was holding out the rolling pin to him. He took it from her and she began shaking out her arms, seemingly too worn out to tease him if she had noticed his staring.

“Go as long as you can Sebastian, I might not have paced myself very well and overdone it.”

“Don’t worry, Natty. I got this.” Sebastian assured her, but as soon as he began rolling out the dugbog tongue he understood why everyone said it was so difficult. There was barely any squish to the thing! It was like trying to get orange juice from an orange made of marble. He poised himself, took a deep breath, and leaned forward, beginning his rolls again.

It had been a good few minutes of rolling when your laugh broke Sebastian’s focus, stealing his attention again.

“Garreth, stop it!” He heard you jokingly chide among the class’s chattering voices. While forcing himself to keep rolling, he looked over to see Garreth laughing with you, trying to get his hands on the roller while you were still giving a go at the dugbog tongue.

“Alright, we’ll do it together then if that’s what you want.” Garreth quipped. Sebastian’s stomach dropped when he saw the red head put both of his hands over yours on the roller to help put more force on the dugbog tongue.

“You’re a piece of work, Garreth.” You snickered, pulling away and playfully smacking his arm. Garreth shot you a sly smirk as he got into a better position to start his rolling.

“Don’t even try to hide it, you love having me as a potions partner already.” Though you shook your head at him, Sebastian noticed the amused smile gracing your lips.

Getting more fed up than tired, Sebastian stepped back from rolling and looked at Natty. “Alright, your turn.” He said with a huff. He took off his robes as well and offered to take Natty’s. 

Sebastian tried to catch your eye as he walked to and from the back of the classroom but to no avail, you were too focused on the dugbog tongue and Garreth’s jokes. He returned to his station and took the rolling pin back from Natty, his annoyance fueling him.

“You take over.” Garreth said, handing you the rolling pin. “I’m going to snag some dittany leaves.”

You let out a sigh at both beginning your rolls and what Garreth had just told you. Dittany leaves were not on the ingredient list and you both knew it. “Please stay here.” You pleaded.

This time, it was Sebastian who started to crack a smile as he eaves dropped on the two of you. Maybe Garreth can turn your oh so hilarious potions class into a nightmare. 

“Trust me, it’ll be a simple hybrid of a focus and wiggenweld potion.” Before you could protest further, Weasley had already darted towards the ingredient shelves.

You, not having the energy to call after him again, groaned and continued rolling. When he returned with a goofy smile on his face, you couldn’t fight back your guffaw at his ridiculous antics, letting out an adorable snort. “Garreth, I’m going to kill you.”

“Relax, I’ll take the blame if things go wrong. Just act like you didn’t know I added the leaves.”

Just as quickly as his smile formed, it vanished from Sebastian’s face. That was his move. He had taken the blame for you when you two got caught in the restricted section in hopes to impress you a bit. Surely taking the fall in the library was a lot more impressive than taking the fall for a potion mishap.

“Alright class, time is up on drying out the tongues. Go on and place all the ingredients in for your focus potion.” Professor Sharp instructed.

Sebastian and Natty put in their ingredients and began stirring, and sure enough, the pot turned the right shade of blue they needed. 

Suddenly, a whizzing noise came from yours and Garreth’s pot, grabbing everyone’s attention in the class including Professor Sharp’s. The whizzing noise grew louder and louder. The two of you looked at each other in panic, then out of the pot burst a small, smelly black cloud, giving a pathetic poot noise.

The whole class burst into laughter, including Sebastian. He couldn’t see your face because you were hiding it behind your hands, but he could tell you were laughing as well due to your shaking shoulders. Professor Sharp limped his way over to you and Garreth, the exhausted look on his face implied he knew it was more Garreth’s doing than yours.

It was then you finally looked Sebastian’s way, your face turning to a mix of hilarity and pain as you grabbed the side of your stomach from laughing too hard. You gave him a helpless face, hoping to convey to Sebastian how absurd working with Garreth was.

Sebastian gave you a smug look and began clapping his hands, “Well done.” 

You gave him a small smile and an oh well shrug and brought your attention back to Professor Sharp. 

The class had quieted down at the seriousness in Professor Sharp’s tone. As you and Garreth were getting a good scolding in front of everyone, Sebastian noticed you were biting the inside of your cheeks to prevent yourself from laughing further. He had to quickly look down to his feet, sealing his lips together as tightly as he could to stop any chuckles of his own from coming through. 

As much as he didn’t like the idea of getting in trouble with Professor Sharp, he couldn’t help but want to be in Garreth’s position. He wanted to be the one that made you laugh like that. He wanted to be the one who’s arm you playfully smacked. He wanted to be your partner in crime.

You made him feel a levity he hadn’t felt since Anne got cursed. Something about you drew him in and he found himself at ease whenever you were around. At first he didn’t like it, convinced himself you made him lose focus on finding a cure for his sister. But after everything you’d done so far to help him, realizing his sister had just as much fun around you as he did, and witnessing how willing you were to go into the unknown, he realized you were progressing things more than anything.

“Let’s be grateful it was only dittany leaves you added, Mr. Weasley.” Professor Sharp reprimanded, then turned to make his way back to his desk. “Well, with that rather exciting end to class, you’re all dismissed.”

As everyone made their way out of class, you and Garreth stayed behind to clean up the mess he caused.

Sebastian kept an eye on you in his peripheral vision as he and Natty gathered their robes and slipped them back on. He took this chance to grab yours and bring them over.

“Aw thanks, Sebastian. You shouldn’t have, I really appreciate it.” Garreth wisecracked as you and him were scrubbing the table.

“Shut up, Weasley.” Sebastian said with a chuckle, handing him his robes, then held up your robes so he could help you into them.

Your scrubbing slowed to a stop and a blush creeped up your neck. Sebastian had never done anything like this before. You tried to calm yourself as you turned and let him help you get your robes on. 

Shrugging them on, you turned and thanked him. You met his expectant gaze and, after a moment, realized he was waiting for you to finish up so you could walk to your next class together. “Oh, um... you may have to go on without me. It might take us a while to finish up here.” 

You also needed a second to yourself to breathe because Sebastian’s gesture had thrown you for a loop. He needed to be careful doing things like that, because you’d look too much into it and convince yourself he liked you back. The thought of burdening him with your feelings seemed so selfish. He had a cursed sister to help, he didn’t need some new Hogwarts student pining for him and making his life more complicated. He was already taking time out of his day to help you catch up on spells, no way you could ask any more of him.

Sebastian couldn’t help but feel disappointed, and it showed on his face. “Alright.” He rocked back and forth on his feet awkwardly. “I suppose I’ll... catch up with Ominis and see you in charms then?”

You gave him a smile and simple nod of your head. “See you there.”

He forced a smile back then slowly made his way out of the potions classroom, kicking the dirt at his feet as he went.

You got back to cleaning with Garreth, who was staring after Sebastian. Then he looked to you, “Well, that was downright awkward.”

You could only cringe. “Sorry, Garreth.”

“No need to apologize to me. It was Sebastian’s heart you broke back there, not - ow!” He was cut off when your elbow jammed into his ribs. 

“Shut up and help me clean.” Deep down you were hoping it was true that Sebastian was disappointed he couldn’t walk with you to class. You wanted to live in that fantasy even just a little. But, realistically, he probably wanted to update you on what he found in Salazar Slytherin’s spell book since he couldn’t speak about it with Ominis.

The blush made its way back when you began to think about his forearm muscles flexing as he was rolling out his and Natty’s dugbog tongue. You were extra thankful you partnered up with Garreth, there was no pressure and he had made it fun. If you had partnered with Sebastian, you would have been a bumbling mess, unable to focus on the assignment. Probably would have had to reread the ingredients a few times over even though there were only three items. Merlin’s beard, you were hopeless.

Lately, it had been difficult for you to be around Sebastian. He had been making you so nervous, it was beginning to get frustrating. You wish you could go back to how it was when you first met. You were so overwhelmed trying to catch up with the other fifth years, you couldn’t overthink things when you were together even if you wanted to. But you’ve been getting the hang of things and excelling in your coursework, wielding magic became second nature. You didn’t need to put all your focus on classes anymore, so that freed up a lot of room in your mind for Sebastian.

With a defeated sigh, you and Garreth finished cleaning up your potions station. You grabbed your books and waved goodbye. As soon as you left the classroom, you looked up to see Sebastian leaning against the wall. He had decided to wait for you after all.

He pushed up off the wall and walked up to you, a smile spreading across your face. He took the quickest glance at your lips, catching himself before he could linger. Without warning, he grabbed your books and began walking away.

“Shall we?” He asked over his shoulder.

You pursed your lips as you watched him. Surely nothing to get your hopes up over, right? Right, surely nothing. Then you moved to join his side.

[eriochromatic]

I love your Silco takes so I was wondering if you could share yours on Vander and the drowning incident because no matter what angle I look at, it doesn't make sense.

As far as I can tell from what we're shown, the riot was well under way before Silco threw that molotov, and it's confirmed that enforcers killed Felicia. Thing is, it's implicit that Felicia chose to participate in the riot because a.) Why else would she be there, and b.) She was down with Zaun being independent for HER KIDS. Also, anyone who participates in a riot, or even a peaceful protest, knows they're putting their life on the line. So while I understand reacting to loss with intense grief, it's not exactly a surprise? It's something you have to mentally prepare for when you take a stand against an oppressor?

But then, if you go the ideology route with Silco taking it too far and the riot was Silco's idea, that stunt on the bridge was most likely pre-planned, organized resistance. This means a sizable number in their community, including Felicia and Connol, supported it. Even if Vander had doubts, he went along with it. Otherwise, why does the show open with him beating an enforcer on the bridge? Vander had other options: he could have split the resistance group down the middle by sitting it out and/or trying to stop Silco, neither of which he did!

The letter highlights the loss of Felicia as Vander's triggering event, and Vander admits that there's blood on both their hands. To be honest, I kind of like this because it hints that Silco's violence was acceptable to Vander within the context of revolution, and he thought he could handle the sacrifices required. Ironically, when he couldn't handle it, HIS violence pushed Silco towards any-violence-necessary because you can't trust anyone ever anyway!

Anyway, I know this is the fault of flimsy writing in S2 and what feels like internal censorship with challenging political status quo during production, but two drowning attempts (which for Silco came out of nowhere), followed by expulsion from the Lanes (which he helped build), the guilt of Felicia's death, and the total loss of the friends and community he was fighting for ... I mean, at least Silco's villain era makes complete and total sense???

Ugh honestly I try not to think about the drowning incident or even make sense of it anymore because every time I do, it's just so obvious to me that the writers themselves had no idea what they're doing. Timelines are completely off, character motivations make no sense, so why is it up to me to untangle the mess they made?

I have a huge love hate relationship with season 2 because on one hand, I didn't expect as much Silco crumbs we got in the first place and I'm SO HAPPY we got to see him normally in episode 5 and thriving in episode 7. But the retcon… I was so pissed when Act 2 dropped because the whole bridge incident just stopped making sense like you said.

Then when Act 3 happened, it all clicked together, but not in the "ohhh the story makes sense now" way but in the "oh the writers needed to set up smth previously so this would work." and it completely took me out of it. Like. The writers wanted Vander and Silco to make up with each other. But they don't know how to do that. Let's add some underlying sentimentality between Vander and Silco and Vi's mom, then kill Vi off. That'll make them go back together (along with that STUPID LETTER Vander wrote). Sure that's a bandaid solution and on surface level it works, but I don't think the writers really thought we would think about Silco this much so the moment you peel back the layers nothing makes sense anymore. I think they could've crafted a way more interesting story if they ACTUALLY SAT DOWN AND TRIED to have Silco and Vander reconcile without using Felicia as a crutch, but season 2 has an overarching problem of "lets have all the important things happen offscreen and only imply that they happened" which is just… so lazy…. so I'm not surprised that this happened.

It just weakens so, so many parts of the story and raises way more questions than answer them. Why does Silco pull away and distance himself from Felicia's family? Surely Vi should know him from before? Does Silco only take in Powder because he knew she was Felicia's daughter? Why, WHY does Vander go like "there are worse things than enforcers out there" (implying Silco) in s1 while talking to Benzo????????? when he's apparently felt guilty this whole time ??????? what happened to "I've looked everywhere????" etc etc idk man. from s1 I always thought the bridge incident happened way, way earlier from Felicia dying bc Vi looked like she was about 7 years old during the bridge and around 14 during act one, but then if you see Silco during the s2 warwick flashback he looks like he's 25. maybe 30 at the maximum. aint no way he aged that much in 7 years, in act one he and Vander both feel like they're in their mid 40s idk.

This is lowkey why I kind of only want to draw young Silco.. I love old man yaoi but like. If everything I draw is just flashback version of him, I don't need to worry about logistics of the bridge thing bc it hasn't happened yet lmfao. Or the AU version where everything is solved and no one rlly thinks about that time anymore.

Honestly I've tried to write this response several times trying to spell out my version of the timeline but just. nothing makes any fucking sense. I don't like thinking about how badly the writers fucked up on this part. Silco magically gets an eye injury caused by Vander and they had yaoi divorce but it's fine now. That's just how it is for me and if I think about it even a little more in depth my head will explode and I have better things to do with my time like draw zaundads yaoi

[darlinguistics]

'its just IMPOSSIBLE to not be addicted to your phone nowadays its UNREALISTIC-'

heres some advice to being less chronically online. for gen z (and younger??) who dont even know how to start thinking about it and have only heard shitty advice from older adults who just genuinely do not get it, from a fellow gen z and my experiences so far.

*these are personal and may not all 100% resonate but its still good prompting to start thinking about things! PLEASE feel free to add your own stories/advice in the notes! support your fellow humans, dont gatekeep what youve learned, lets have these conversations! and no negativity/pessimism please <3

first thing is to make it a less scary thought, a more concrete idea and not a hypothetical. it doesnt have to be all-or-nothing, cold turkey, a huge announcement and a fundamental shift in your personality. the internet will be in your life for the rest of your life, this is an ongoing relationship you are trying to make healthier thats all! and it takes one step at a time and some self-compassion, but a true effort nonetheless. 'dont you think thats a bit too serious-' if youre my age you quite literally grew up and developed online, it is literally part of your psyche the way your childhood is, it IS serious, you deserve to treat it seriously.

dont save your login info/dont stay logged in for social media accounts, having to manually log in when you want to go on like youre on some elementary school chrome book is a really healthy and clear boundary to have between being logged off and logged on.

-> bigger challenge - uninstall it on your phone in general, only log on on your laptop/pc if applicable for you!

if youre motivated to, try to work on your posture too. i only say that because most of our bad posture is at least partially related to being on our phones a lot, and when i started wanting to fix my posture, completely separately and unrelated from trying to break my phone addiction, it made it easier to lose interest in my phone since i didnt want to ruin my progress with my posture. it made me start to have a mindset like 'well if you cant do this on your phone with good posture then dont do it' and 'if youre on your phone so long your posture starts to cave in, youve probably spent too long on your phone anyway'

listen to music more. its easier for me to kinda write off my phone and do other things if i just open music or a podcast or long youtube video on it. i know we all love long video essays, but i recommend music more specifically for me at least because im less inclined to pause music or scroll while listening to it for some reason? whereas using a show or video or podcast for white noise, im way more likely to also be scrolling on my phone and that is my activity lol. music for some reason i dont want to interrupt and instead of being on my phone i can clean or do something productive on my computer etc

this one is sooo hard but try to fall asleep with some distance between you and your phone, even just a couple feet. mine stays on the desk next to my bed which isnt that far but its better than on bed like it used to be. when you wake up you probably wont feel like reaching for it right away if its far and even better if you have to get up for it because then at least you stand and move your body first thing instead of looking at your phone first thing. and try to get more and more of your morning routine done before touching your phone over time.

-> for me, i started by just trying to at least wake up a bit in bed before touching it, then stand up before touching it, then stand and stretch, then going to the bathroom first, making coffee first, feeding the cat first, etc. its surprisingly helpful to have a specific chore/task in mind that is The requirement so that everytime you do it you get a lil dopamine rush for unlocking your phone from yourself lmao. when the weather was nice i used to make my Requirement being outside first before going on it and i LOVED that. esp as it got easier and i started doing more and more before going on it and finally walking outside with coffee and my phone felt like such a pleasant little reward.

find a hobby that uses your hands. example: i really need to get back into knitting because when i did it regularly so much time that wouldve been on my phone was spent knitting with music/podcasts/shows/(even online lectures! when i felt productive lol) playing. its the same amount of physical relaxing - barely moving lol - but uses a longer attention span and a much better dopamine hit than scrolling, i literally MADE things.

-> you might be thinking, 'but mindless knitting isnt better than mindless scrolling is it?' but that mindless feeling on your phone is just that, mindless. the mindless feeling you get when doing something like knitting is actually closer to a flow state, which is actually incredibly good for you, like a fulfilling nutritious meal as opposed to 'empty calories' or whatever

get a widget for your homescreen that shows your screen time. i have one and of course it doesnt always stop me but seeing that time go up all day the more i use it and the pride of keeping it low is really helpful

practice grounding. in general.

spend more time on anonymous activities and have more privacy and less attachment with your 'persona' - what i mean by that is, i consider things like scrolling through tumblr (for me personally!) to be relatively harmless because i dont try to like,, brand myself here. if youre a tumblr regular you know the jokes - 0 follows, 0 notes, screaming to the void, moots you dont talk to, blorbo pfp and urls, fake names everywhere, and we're having fun! basically targeting the 'everyone is famous now' thing with this one - embrace being a nobody with no personal stakes here

-> personally ive never kept up with having social media accounts that are actually just, me irl - like a facebook or main instagram, like a locals account yknow? but i think it goes for that too - stop spending so much time trying to further personalize your online presence in the hopes of it representing you perfectly - because it never will, and it shouldnt, and you shouldnt aspire for that. your social media presence is lighthearted and incredibly surface-level, treat it like that! thats not me bashing social media either, having that mindset will make it more enjoyable bc youll be using it as it should be used!

do following/followers or camera roll/files or app purges. this is also a soft launch type of way to practice easing into a better mindset. aside from just literally getting rid of junk, the process of trying to judge whether or not you need something is good practice in mindfulness! even if you dont delete everything you feel like you maybe should, thats fine, youll do other purges in the future too. eventually youll get better at parting with things and realizing when things that feel good in a moment are actually bad for you. and it forces you to regularly check in on your more long-lasting parasocial relationships online and how theyre serving you or not

speaking of parasocial - for actual friends, if theyre irl, think about how much you interact with them online vs in person and why you think that is and how it affects you. maybe youll wanna see them more irl if possible (i promise its better for your friendship), maybe youll realize you dont need to keep tabs on them anymore (old high school acquaintances lookin at you). for celebrities and fandom things - try to think about the bare minimum content from them you could do with. you dont have to unstan all your faves and stop enjoying things - but do you need their notifications on? if you have designated fan accounts, are they still a source of joy or of stress? do you need them on all the platforms or just one or two? do you need to have all that saved content of them? are there aspects of this that you love that could be found elsewhere, maybe even offline? (again you dont have to stay one way forever, just encouraging checking in with yourself!)

if youre of the genre of online where you just cant help yourself from getting involved in big discussions or discourse and arguments - i recommend journaling when you get upset by something online, articulating your feelings without the idea of someone ever reading it and without the goal of 'winning' or being the most correct and logical or even the most sympathetic and morally good. take away every audience aspect of it. what is this really about for you, and why would strangers online deserve to hear your personal well-thought out opinions? why would your thoughts deserve to be simplified and misconstrued and underappreciated the way they would be in this discussion? is there even an outcome to this where you feel truly satisfied? are their people who are more worthy of hearing your thoughts who arent part of this audience? is this a conversation that is best held online where so much communicative nuance is inevitably sacrificed?

in the end these are all just practices in remembering how in control you are. and that goes for if any of these are scary or too difficult sounding too! these all become less scary if you remember that as soon as anything becomes too uncomfortable or painful, you have all the power to stop doing it, make a change, and try again later. so much of advice for quitting bad habits can be intimidating because the pressure and the shame that would come from failing scares you out of the possible benefits of trying - just go ahead and kill that shame from the jump. of course youre going to fail! you are going to have setbacks! thats part of it! you have agency in this, always. the internet is not inherently or completely evil nor good. build trust in yourself to make the calls on when it is serving you and when it isnt on a case-by-case basis, and then give yourself permission to learn through trial and error.

and remember you are worth all of this effort. i believe in us <3

[podemechamardeeli]

Tiny Town Challenge Expanded - The Sims 3

The inspiration for this challenge came from Deligracy's Tiny Town challenge for The Sims 4 (Original rules HERE). I loved the idea of the challenge, but The Sims 3 has a huge advantage: it already has an open world, so the houses didn't need to be restricted to one lot, but instead, we could build a real community. That's why, in addition to translating, I took some time to adapt it in the best possible way to everything that TS3 offers us.

I kept the characteristics of the Sims from the original challenge as best as I could, but adapted them to keep them as "autonomous" as possible.

I have all the expansions and stuff packs, so feel free to do only what fits into what you already have in your game and/or adapt it as best you can.

When I saw the Stardew Valley map by @boringbones, I felt this would be a perfect match! You don't have to start on the same map as me, but I strongly suggest you start on a tiny or small mapto really have the proximity between the lots and, even better, if it's empty so you can populate it as you play with the Sims.

I'm just starting to play this challenge, so not all the rules have been tested. I will adapt as needed and welcome suggestions.

Tags: #TinyTownTS3 #tiny town challenge ts3 or tag my "@". I would love to know you're playing too. 😍

The Goal

The goal of this challenge is to build a town with tiny houses for up to 16 Sims (depending on whether you want to use mods or not or which packs you own) that match their desires and skills.

You can watch my gameplay of this challenge on my YouTube channel here. (link to be available soon)

The Stardew Valley map can be purchased here (link for download).

The Rundown

Each Sim has a set skill that you must utilize to fund the construction of their tiny home. For example, Frank Stem likes flower arranging, so you must sell flower arrangements to fund his Tiny House build.

You must also represent each Sim's favorite style and color in the build (see the Sim characters below). You can only work on one Sim's house at a time, moving each Sim in individually as you "unlock" them.

To "unlock" the next Sim, you must complete the previous Sim's home.

How to Play

Start by moving your first Sim into a lot of your choice.

To select your first Sim, you can use an online randomizer or simply choose your favorite.

After moving your first Sim in, use a money cheat to set the Sim's money to $0.

Each Sim should start on their lot with their skill item of choice and some useful items. They also start with a sleeping bag (requires Generations), a mini fridge, and an All-in-One Bathroom (requires Island Paradise, Into the Future, or Movie Stuff). Feel free to adjust these items if you don't have the necessary packs. After placing these items on the lot, set the money back to $0.

After finding your skill items, start earning Simoleons by selling your creations!

Use this money to build your Sim's tiny home!

Since we don't have a sales table in The Sims 3 like we do in The Sims 4, I suggest that all collectibles and creations be sold at the consignment store (requires: NRAAS Consigner - [link HERE]).

Extra Rules and Ideas

Your Sims can contribute to community areas to help other neighbors when they move in and to create a pleasant sense of community and lifestyle. Ideas could be a shared laundry, bathroom, BBQ area, garden, central square, pool, etc.

As you play, your town will grow and your community will become fuller. When you reach the last Sim, you can go back to playing with the first family, and here, my suggestion would be to put everyone in a rotational household using Story Progression and evolve with each family.

If you don't have all the necessary packs, feel free to alter the challenge to suit the packs you have, or use the base game features. There are many ways to make money, including tasks like collecting valuable objects or careers.

You can play on any lifespan, but I suggest playing on epic or disabling aging altogether to get the most out of your Sims.

According to the original rules, you can use cheats, rewards, and anything else to make it easier, but keep in mind that the easier you make it for yourself, the less challenging it will be!

The Tiny Town Sims

Azure Hue:

Skill - Painting (Base Game)

Decor Style - Contemporary/Boho

Color: Blue

Cyprus Handyman:

Skill - Sculpting (Ambitions)

Decor Style - Rustic/Farmhouse

Color: Orange

Frank Stem:

Skill - Flower Arranging/Gardening (Base Game)

Decor Style: Vintage/Garden/Farmhouse

Color: Green

Suggestion: If you want to go with Flower Arranging, I recommend this mod HERE.

Opal Gem:

Skill - Jewelry Making (Supernatural)

Decor Style: Victorian/Fairytale

Color: Purple

Annie Aperature:

Skill - Photography

Decor Style: Industrial/Minimalist

Color: Red

Beatrice Jam:

Skill - Cooking (Base Game)/Baking (Store Content)

Decor Style: Cozy

Color: Pink

Suggestions:

Cooking can be done through the Culinary career. Your world will need to have the Bistro lot or the Rabit Hole rug, which can be downloaded HERE.

Baking can be done with the Deliciously Indulgent Bakery. (requires: NRAAS Cupcake HERE)

Ziggy Yarn:

Skill - Knitting/Crocheting

Decor Style: Mid-Century Modern

Color: Yellow

Suggestion: If you want to make this Sim this way, you will need this mod HERE.

Pippin Playmaker:

Skill - Toy Making (Midnight Hollow)

Decor Style: Colorful and Eclectic. Think of a dream child's room, with furniture of different styles, vibrant colors, toys scattered on the floor, and walls decorated with drawings and posters of cartoon characters.

Color: Rainbow (use and abuse the color wheel)

Sophie Sauvignon:

Skill - Nectar Making (World Adventures)

Decor Style: Rustic and Provençal. Imagine a French country house, with worn wooden furniture, floral fabrics, soft pastel tones, and many elements that refer to nature, such as fresh flowers and wicker baskets.

Color: Burgundy

Morgana Spellbinder:

Skill - Alchemy (Supernatural)

Decor Style: Gothic and Mysterious. Think of an alchemy lab filled with old books, jars of colorful liquids, candles, mystical objects, and dark wood furniture with metal details.

Color: Dark Purple

Melody Harmony:

Skill: Music

Decor Style: Bohemian and Artistic. Think of a music studio with instruments, band posters, vinyl records, comfortable furniture, and vibrant colors.

Color: Sepia (Warm and soft brown)

Oliver Quill:

Skill - Writing

Decor Style: Dark Academia, Cozy. Imagine an office with a wooden desk, a bookshelf full of books, a comfortable armchair, a fireplace, and earthy tones.

Color: Coffee Brown

Newton Gears:

Skill - Inventor

Decor Style: Industrial and Technological. Think of a laboratory with tools, machine parts, wires, neon lights, computers, and metallic colors.

Color: Metallic Gray

Scarlett Zinger:

Skill - Fashion Stylist

Decor Style: Modern and Elegant. Imagine a fashion atelier with mannequins, fabrics, mirrors, designer furniture, and neutral colors with vibrant touches.

Color: Hot Pink

Ink Ryder:

Skill - Tattoo Artist

Decor Style: Urban and Alternative. Think of a tattoo studio with graffiti, urban art posters, metal furniture, dark colors, and neon lighting.

Color: Black. This color represents rebellion, individuality, and the art of tattooing.

Finn Fisherman:

Skill - Fisherman

Decor Style: Nautical and Cozy. Imagine a fisherman's cabin with nets, boats, shells, light wood furniture, shades of blue and white, and elements that refer to the sea.

Color: Ocean Blue. This color represents tranquility, serenity, and the beauty of the sea.

Final Note

Have fun! You can change and adapt the rules as needed. The goal here is to have a lot of fun with the best game ever! So feel free to explore everything a truly open world has to offer.

[loreiiiiiiiii]

The discourse surrounding Eurlychous and Odysseus in the thunder saga is so fascinating because extremely valid points can be made as to which one of them is in the right and which one is in the wrong.

Eurlychous' reason for staging a mutiny is perfectly understandable imo, but a lot of people call it hypocritical for two reasons:

1) Eurlychous' behavior in Circe saga. In that saga Eurlychous was perfectly willing to abandon the men on the island, while Odysseus wanted to save them, but like.. what was Ody's actual plan here? From any rational POV this was a completely unwinnable situation for them, and Odysseus probably would've got turned into a pig too if it weren't for Grandpa Hermes showing up and giving his grandson some handy performance enhancing drugs.

2) Eurlychous opening the bag of wind, more or less directly causing the death of the vast majority of Odysseus' fleet. Now, opening the bag was a pretty fuckin stupid move on all accounts, but I think also somewhat understandable given Ody's behavior earlier in the sage. In 'luck runs out', Eurlychous rightfully asks Ody if he actually has a plan on surviving the wind god's island, to which Ody replies 'nah bro just trust me lol' and shuts down any attempt Eurlychous makes for discussion. This is a HUGE redflag from a leader, especially considering Eurlychous is Odysseus' second in command. He, out of anyone, needs to be the one to challenge his captain, but Odysseus doesn't want that. He wants absolute devotion.

This is why Eurlychous says 'if you want all the power, you must carry ALL THE BLAME' during mutiny, which is a pretty damning line...but it also makes Eurlychous a hypocrite, because Odysseus never actually has 100% of the power, as evidenced by the crew opening the bag of wind, or Eurlychous asking to just fuck off from Circe's island. And when Eurlychous actually DOES have the power? He hands the reins back to Odysseus the second shit hits the fan. Where's all that accountability now, Eurlychous?

I have less to say about Ody, considering he's our central POV character, but there's still a few things to unpack. While his decision to go through the lair of Scylla is undoubtedly a shitty one, it was either that or die to Poseidon (or a raging whirlpool in the original poem.), so it was either gamble the lives of all your men or sacrifice 6 to preserve the rest. What else was Ody supposed to do?

The biggest mistake Ody makes here isn't the decision to sacrifice these men- it's not giving his crew the headsup about it. Had Odyssues actually TALKED to his men and warned them of their choice, maybe he'd even have volunteers. But Odysseus cannot fathom this, because he requires absolute obedience from his crew, and nothing less. My way or the highway. The viewer knows Odysseus is objectively correct here, but the crew don't. All they know is their captain just threw away the lives of 6 of their friends without any sort of headsup or discussion, so why the hell would they trust him?

That being said...I don't really blame Ody for his decision to sacrifice his crew in thunderbringer. Because he wasn't the one to make the decision to kill the cattle. That was PURELY Eurlychous and the crew's choice. Odysseus tries to warn them several times, but they don't heed that warning. Had Odyssues made a better effort to build trust and rapor maybe they would've, but still. If you want all the power, you must carry all the blame.

[dean-winchester-is-a-warrior]

The Dangers of Hope Ch. 7

Series Summary: When Y/N shows up at Camp Chitaqua with her little girl in tow, her bloodshot eyes leave no doubt that she's infected. Or is she? Everything Dean has come to know for certain over the last five hellish years, is about to be challenged.

Pairings/Characters in the series: Endverse!Dean x Reader, Emma (OFC), Castiel, Sam Winchester, Lucifer, Michael, Zachariah, Risa, Johnston (OMC), Patrick (OMC), Theresa (OFC), other survivors and soldiers.

Series Explicit 18 +/Warnings: Show level violence, some gore, angst, smut, fluff all the usual for a series of mine. ❤️ Endverse!Dean (that's a warning for his anger and callousness as well as his extreme hotness. 😁) Each chapter will have their own specific warnings.

Chapter Warnings: Angst, bit of smut.

Word Count: 4,813

A/N: So, I've had this idea for quite a while. Basically since I watched The Last of Us. I loved Pedro in the role of Joel, but I kept thinking how incredible Jensen would have been. Which then made me think of how amazing he was as Endverse!Dean which then led me to this idea. Lol! I've stolen the premise of Ellie's storyline from TLOU, but made her a grown up, a reader insert, and a love interest for Dean.

If you've never seen TLOU, don't worry - you don't need to have seen it to understand this story. 😊

I've taken some liberties with the Endverse in my story, changed a few things from canon, but kept lots of things too.

I sincerely hope you enjoy the story. It will be ten chapters and I will do my very best to post one chapter every weekend. ❤️

A/N 2: Chapter 7 has arrived. 😊 I hope you enjoy it! Thanks so much to everyone who has been reading, liking, commenting and reblogging this series! It means SO much! ❤️

Series Master List || Main Master List || Tag Lists

The dividers below were created by @saradika

Three and a half weeks later

“And these would be beside every tent?” Dean asked Brandy as he looked at the rough drawings she’d made of her latest idea.

She nodded. “Yeah, on the West side of every tent. It would mean families don’t have to come to Food Storage every few days for more rations, and once the deep snow comes that’s gonna be a huge benefit for folks. Plus it’s easier for people to plan ahead and stretch their food if they have two weeks worth of rations sitting outside their tent. I mean, it won’t work once spring comes, but that’s a problem for spring.”

Dean nodded. He looked at their builders, the group of half a dozen survivors that were tasked with providing new buildings and necessities as the camp required. They’d built the sheds earlier in the year, the chicken coop last summer and were currently finishing up a small barn for the cow.

“Is this gonna interfere with completing the barn?” He asked, nodding at Brandy’s drawings. 

One of the women, he was pretty sure her name was Vanessa, shook her head. “No, we’ll be finished with the barn in a couple of days, and be able to get Lily settled for the winter all snug, and then move on to the food sheds.” She looked at the drawing again and shrugged. “They’re small enough that we should be able to get them all done within a few weeks?” 

She looked to the rest of the builders who nodded their agreement.

Dean frowned. “Lily?”

Vanessa grinned. “Yeah, sorry that’s what the kids have dubbed our little cow. Y/N has them going to visit her once a week so Ralph can teach them about farming.” She said, referring to the old farmer who had helped to plant the winter vegetables.

Dean felt his stomach twist as it always did when someone brought up her name. But he just nodded. “Okay, good. Get started on the food sheds as soon as you’re able. The deep snow is gonna come in the next couple weeks. It’d be good to have them all done by then.”

They all gave a chorus of “Okay, Boss” or “Sure thing Boss” as they nodded and took their leave. They wrapped their scarves tight and pulled on their mittens. The deep snow may not have come yet, but the ground was layered in white, and winter was sharp and stinging in the late November air.

Brandy gathered up her drawings and was headed out when Dean called her back.

“Brandy?”

She turned back to him, an eyebrow raised in question. They'd never discussed their meeting in the cabin with Y/N, but he'd noticed a slightly colder demeanor from her lately.

And he knew why, of course. 

Brandy had been one of the original dozen survivors who had built the camp together. She'd been an incredible asset from the beginning, and they probably wouldn't have survived without her planning and strategies for running the camp. He and the soldiers may have kept the survivors alive, but Brandy kept them living by organizing and planning for their food and shelter. She was an invaluable member of the camp.

But three weeks ago he'd treated her like a servant meant to do his bidding. He knew he owed her an apology, but it had been so long since he'd apologized for anything that it stuck in his throat.

Now she contemplated him, waiting for him to speak, and he just nodded. He pointed towards her drawings. 

“This is a good idea.” He cleared his throat. “So, thanks.”

Brandy stared a moment longer before a small smile twitched at the corners of her mouth. She nodded.

“No problem, Boss. That's what we're all here for, right?”

Dean just nodded and she lifted her scarf over her face and left the big cabin where Dean conducted most of his business these days, since it was warmer than his tent and could fit more people.

As he ran a hand over his face, the door opened again and most of his soldiers tromped inside. They were there to talk about security and possible threats, but Dean immediately looked at Johnston. 

“Hey, did you tell her I want to see her?”

The thin man nodded vigorously. “Yes sir. I told her yesterday. Has…has she not come to see you yet?” He looked around the room as though Y/N might be hiding somewhere. 

Dean shook his head. “No, she hasn't.” He pointed towards the door. “So why don't you go get her and tell her I expect to see her now.”

Johnston looked wary and as though he definitely didn't want to follow that order. But when Dean just stared him down, he turned and left quickly.

The rest of his soldiers began giving their reports about any problems they were having at the outposts, like equipment that needed repair or items that needed replenishing. But Dean was only half listening; his gaze kept straying to the door, waiting for Y/N to show. 

Ten minutes later, Patrick was briefing him and Dean tried to focus on what he was saying. 

“Williams has seen the group twice now, but -” Patrick cut himself off as Y/N and Johnston pushed through the door.

Y/N smiled at the soldiers as she came in. “Sorry to interrupt, but apparently I was summoned.” 

She cut her glance to Dean and her smile turned brittle. 

“I was told you needed to see me.”

“Yeah, since yesterday.” Dean responded, hardening his voice in an attempt to not seem desperate, especially in front of his soldiers.

“Sorry. Busy.” Was Y/N's curt reply. “What do you need?”

Dean took a deep breath. “I just wanted to know how you're -” he altered his words, “your school, or, uh, the school was going?”

Y/N paused for a moment before answering with a shrug. 

“Fine.”

When it was clear that was all she was going to say, Dean scowled at her. “You wanna elaborate on that?”

She raised her chin a fraction. “Oh, I'm sorry, Boss, I don’t have anything else to say right now, but I’ll be sure to write out a full report for next week.”

Her eyes shot daggers that found their mark, bringing a pain to his chest that he felt a lot these days. He’d thought it might go away if he could talk to her, see her, but it was just worse with her there.

He shook his head. “That won't be necessary.” He said quietly.

“Anything else then, Sir?”

He'd never hated that moniker more. “No, that's it.” 

She spun on her heel and walked out of the cabin. Silence reigned when she left. Dean waved at everyone else. “We'll finish this another time.” When they didn't immediately move, he made his voice a bit sharper. 

“Dismissed.”

That got them moving and they all shuffled their way out the door - all except Risa. She closed the door behind her fellow soldiers and then turned back to face Dean. 

He caught her eye and lifted his hands. “What?”

She shook her head slowly. “You're such an idiot.”

Dean dropped his hands and raised an eyebrow. “Wanna try that again?”

Risa shook her head as she walked back to him. “No, I said what I said.” 

Dean gave her a look of annoyance as she reached him and leaned one hip on the table where he stood. She raised her hand to his cheek, her countenance softening. 

“I really wanted to be the one.”

Dean scowled in confusion. “The one what?”

Risa pushed her fingers through his short hair. “The one to make you smile.” There was a long pause between them and Dean had no idea how to respond to that. She shook her head and stood up straight, dropping her hand. “But, it was obviously meant to be her.”

Dean scoffed. “What are you talking about?”

“Y/N. You know I'm talking about Y/N.”

He gave a short burst of sarcastic, humorless laughter. “Yeah, right. You think Y/N's gonna make me smile? I've done nothing but pull my hair out since she got here, so ..” He trailed off and looked away from Risa's knowing gaze.

Risa nodded. “Yeah, cause you're an idiot.” She reiterated.

When he looked back at her, Risa was smiling softly and wistfully. “Apologize to her, idiot. Try to get back what you've nearly lost. She's pissed, don't get me wrong, it might take some real groveling on your part but,” she nodded, “she has a very kind heart, so she might forgive you. It's definitely worth a try.”

Dean stared at her for a moment before he looked down at the ground, conceding the truth in her words. “I don't know how to do it.”

Risa gave a gentle laugh. “You're a smart guy. Bet you'll figure it out.”

She put her hand on his cheek again, resting the other on his chest as she stood on tiptoe to reach his lips. She placed a light, lingering kiss there and then pulled away. 

“Goodbye, Dean.”

Dean felt a jolt of worry at the farewell. “You’re leaving? Am I losing a soldier?”

She smiled and shook her head. “No, the soldier is staying. I'm saying goodbye to the woman I wanted to be for you. And the man that she…cared about a lot. I hope he lets himself be happy.”

Dean frowned, feeling the weight of her goodbye, with all of its disappointed hopes. 

“Goodbye Risa.” He said, and knowing it wasn't enough, he cupped her cheeks in his hands and kissed her lips, light and brief. “Thank you…for being the woman you are.”

He thought he saw a glimmer of moisture in her eye, but she blinked it away quickly and pulled out from under his hands. She moved to the door in a few strides and, with one last smile thrown over her shoulder, she walked away.

***

That afternoon as the winter sun headed into the west, Dean made the decision to go talk to Y/N. This was ridiculous. They were a camp of less than 150 people, continuing to try and avoid each other was impractical.

He'd just go tell her that.

He walked to the school because she was usually still there this time of day. But when he got there, the schoolroom was empty. He looked around the space that he hadn't seen in over a month and had to shake his head.

What had been a cold empty shed not even three months ago was now a warm, inviting, cozy space. She'd had a little camp stove installed, and on the Northern wall, replacing the fall leaves that had been there, was a giant, beautifully sewn quilt. He recognized it as the same design as the one that hung in the big cabin. 

Hannah, who was Ralph-the-farmer's wife, had made it out of old scraps of material. It took a long time to gather enough scraps for a whole quilt so he knew this quilt probably took her months of hard work. But of course she'd gifted it to Y/N and the school. That's what Y/N brought out in people - hard work and generosity.

The small wooden table in the room had four chairs around it now and he wondered where she'd snagged the other two chairs. 

The kids’ blanket seating had been enhanced slightly with the addition of a few pillows, and on the western wall, beside the old map, two long, weathered planks of wood had been nailed in place to serve as bookshelves. The books he'd brought back had been placed lovingly on the shelves, not a single corner bent on any of them. 

He sighed at the changes and felt a warmth flare to life in his heart. Y/N did this too - seeming to warm the spaces around her without trying.

He walked out of the schoolroom and was just starting to walk back to his tent when he heard high pitched giggles coming from the side of the school just seconds before three small bodies hurtled forward, chasing and grabbing on to one another - Emma and her two little friends. He couldn't remember their names.

When they all saw him, the laughter fell away and Emma's eyes got wide, fear and suspicion filling them instantly. It felt like a punch when he remembered the way she'd climbed up on the chair beside him that one time, shy acceptance in her expression as she asked him to read to her.

He hated that she was so scared of him; he had to try and fix that much, at least. 

“Hi girls.” He said in what he hoped was a friendly sounding voice. Emma's friends nodded and waved at him slightly. But Emma stayed on high alert.

He looked at her two friends. “I need to talk to Emma, so you girls head on home now.” 

They looked to Emma who looked more scared than ever. But she whispered goodbye to them and they ran off.

Dean got a bit closer to her and went down on his haunches. He took a second to think what to say to her.

“You know, you don't have to be scared of me.”

“I'm not.” Emma said quickly while her big blue eyes were shrouded in fear.

Dean nodded. “Okay, good because…” He struggled to find the words that would help. “Cause I thought maybe I scared you a bit before. When I, uh, needed to talk to your mom alone.”

Emma nodded, the suspicion growing in her gaze. “When you were mad at Mommy.”

Dean shook his head. “No, I wasn't mad.” 

Emma gave him a look that said she didn't believe him and he conceded with a nod. 

“Okay, I was a little…upset, but I was just…confused. Eventually everything got figured out.”

She didn't say anything, clearly still highly skeptical. 

Dean took a deep breath and decided  to just go for it. “Anyway, I didn't mean to scare you and I'm…sorry about it.” He cleared his throat. “And I promise not to scare you like that again. Okay?”

Emma stared at him for a long time and he kept hold of her earnest blue gaze throughout her scrutiny. Slowly a smile spread across her face.

“Okay.” She said, accepting him at his word. “Then can you come over again for supper tonight? I can read a bunch of words now, mommy taught me in the books. So, I could help you read the story this time.”

Dean shook his head at the speedy ways of forgiveness in a child's heart, and for the first time in more years than he could remember, a small smile turned up one side of his mouth. 

He reached out to pat her cold cheek. “I'm not sure, kiddo. We'll have to wait and see.” Emma was about to argue the point but Dean stood up. “Now it's gonna be dark soon and it's way too cold for you to be out here without a scarf. Don't you have one?” He asked.

Emma nodded. “Yeah, but I don't like it. It itches.”

Dean hummed. “Ah, yeah wool does that sometimes.” He unwound his own scarf from around his neck.

“Here, I'll trade you.” He said as he wound the polyester scarf around her neck and up over her cheeks. “Now, you head home.”

Emma's eyes were bright and happy above her new scarf as she danced away, skipping through the light snow that blanketed the ground.

He watched her go for a moment before turning back to head home himself. But he stopped dead in his tracks as he saw Y/N standing in the path with an arm full of wood. Silence reigned for nearly a full minute. Finally he reached forward to take the wood, but Y/N shook her head.

“No, I’m fine.” She nodded toward the school. “Just stocking up for tomorrow.”

“Right.” 

More silence. Y/N’s voice was quiet when she finally spoke. “Thank you for the scarf. It’s been impossible to get her to wear one.”

He nodded and then realized something. “How long were you standing there?”

Y/N took a deep breath, answering on an exhale. “Since just before you promised my daughter not to scare the shit out of her again.”

Dean nodded and closed his eyes. “So, basically the whole time.”

“Yeah, basically.” She took a beat pause. “Thank you for that.” 

Dean nodded. She walked towards the school again but before she could close the door and shut him out, Dean called to her, knowing his voice sounded desperate.

“I needed to believe it.”

Y/N turned in the doorway, a frown on her face. “Needed to believe what?”

He took a step closer, feeling choked by all the words he wanted to say that wouldn’t form properly in his mind. Y/N stared at him for a moment more before huffing slightly and walking into the schoolroom. He followed her inside, closing the door against the wind as she dropped the pile of wood into a metal bucket by the stove.

When she turned back to face him, she was scowling. “Dean, I don’t know what you want here. What do you want me to say?”

He shook his head. He didn’t want her to say anything. He wanted to say things, so many things. “No, nothing.” He croaked out.

She crossed her arms over her chest, bunching up her too big jacket. “Then what are you doing here?”

He took deep breaths in through his nose, pushing the words out through a closed throat. “I needed to believe it.” He said again, quieter this time.

“Believe what?” Y/N asked in frustration.

He stepped close to her and she took a step back before refusing to retreat. He gazed at her and wished more than anything that she really could just see inside his head so he wouldn’t have to try and get it out.

But he looked at the ground quickly and then back at her. His breathing was slightly labored and his voice was thin as he spoke. “You’re so dangerous to me, Y/N.”

He knew he said the wrong words when her forehead wrinkled into a deep frown and she nodded. “Because - I’m a psychic monster? Or because I’m a croat? Why exactly am I dangerous this time?”

“Because you’re you.” Dean answered loudly, speaking over the end of her question. He sighed in frustration; he was getting all of this wrong. He looked up to the heavens, as though they could possibly help him, and tried again, speaking softer.

“I needed to believe that you could control my mind or my…my feelings because…” He trailed off and looked at Y/N hoping she’d just know what he was saying and finish the sentence for him. But she was still just frowning in confusion.

“Because,” he continued, “my feelings when I'm around you are…dangerous. For me, I mean, they’re dangerous. Y/N I can’t…” He shook his head. “The way you look at the world? And the way you change how I see it too? It’s so fucking dangerous.”

He waved his hand, trying to encompass everything. “This world is ugly and shitty, and fucking ended! We literally lived through the end of the world, and now all that’s left is this - this dark, violent, bullshit reality.” 

He shook his head and his voice was filled with awe. “Yet somehow you move through it like this,” again he struggled for the words to describe her, “like some kind of lighthouse, like a refuge for every cold, lost thing. And I - “

He cut himself off, not sure he was making any sense. But Y/N had stopped frowning and was now just contemplating him.

He shrugged. “And when I’m around you, I feel warmer than I’ve felt in years, brighter.” He shook his head and moved away from her, embarrassed by his confession and knowing he wasn't saying it right. 

He stared at the map as he spoke. “So, I needed to believe that the feelings weren’t real, that you’d just forced me to feel that way. Because if the feelings and thoughts you bring out of me are real?” His shoulders slumped. “God, I’m so fucked.”

He felt Y/N come up to stand just behind him on his right, but he stayed staring at the map as she spoke.

“Why? What’s so dangerous about warmth and light?”

His voice was barely audible as he answered slowly. “Because they bring hope. And hope is a lie. It’s a lie I believed for a long time, a lie I clung to. The lie of possibilities, of family, of good conquering evil. And when the lie was revealed and the world fell apart, the truth almost killed me.”

After a moment he turned to face her and felt his heart skip as he saw her expression of sadness and the tears that sparkled in her eyes, even in the growing dusk.

He lifted a hand to cup her cheek and thumbed away a tear as it fell over her bottom lashes. “And Y/N, if I allow myself to hope again, and it gets crushed by the world again…” He shook his head. “I won’t survive it, I know I won’t.”

He took a step closer to her and felt her warmth penetrating his cold bones. She grabbed his free hand and held it in both of hers as he dropped his other hand from her cheek.

“Or…” she said, her voice filled with conviction, “or we can both hope, both fight, and both win. Even if we never get big wins, the little ones still count. And they add up. Every day we’re here alive is a win. Every time we smile at someone and they smile back is a win. Every time the sun shines so bright you have to close your eyes, every time we hear Emma giggle, every time our stomachs are full, every time we do something to make our home here better - every small thing adds up to big wins.”

Dean shook his head. He knew that trying to resist the pull of her light and life was pointless; she’d been pulling him out of the dark, and changing his plans since the moment she’d come into his life. 

He used their connected hands to pull her tight against him and watched heat enter her beautiful, red-ringed eyes.

He bent his head, but before his lips touched hers, he whispered words that came much easier now. “I’m so sorry, Y/N. For all of it. I’m so sorry.”

Another tear fell down her cheek and she smiled and bit her lip. “If I say you’re forgiven will you kiss me?”

He pretended to mull it over and then nodded. “Yes, I think that’s fair.”

In the dusky twilight around them he pulled her close and pressed his lips to hers; his arms tightened around her as she moaned softly. 

He was definitely counting that sound as a win.

***

Over the next month Dean resumed his dinners with Y/N, the difference being that he was there nearly every night, and he’d stopped pretending to himself that he didn’t relish every moment with her and Emma. 

Over the evenings spent together, Emma had warmed more and more to him so that now she ran to meet him every time he walked through their tent flap, holding her arms up so he’d pick her up and toss her up into the air, catching her in a swooping motion as she came down. It made Y/N gasp every time, but Emma squealed with delight. He’d set her down and she’d grab his hand, nearly three times the size of hers, and pull him over to the table.

He’d take off his heavy canvas jacket within the relative warmth of the tent, and drape it over Emma’s shoulders, making her giggle as she drowned inside it. 

They’d sit around the table and share the day's events, though Emma usually did the majority of the talking. It always brought a mixture of feelings when he listened to her bubbly, excited stories. It made him happy and terrified at the same time. She was so precious he couldn’t help but smile, an expression that was becoming easier for him as the days went by. But also, his chest felt tight and he could feel terror creep in as the darkness whispered a warning, telling him that he couldn’t possibly keep her safe. He’d lose her, and Y/N too.

Sometimes that thought woke him from a deep sleep and made him shake and sweat. It was proving incredibly difficult to make all his fears go away. But as soon as he saw Y/N’s smile the next day, it felt easier.

In fact it was becoming increasingly difficult to go home at all, to leave her warm cozy tent and return to his dismal gray one. But they were trying to be careful and move slowly in deference to Emma. They didn’t want her to feel confused or unsure of things now that she finally seemed so at ease. 

So they hid their kisses and their caresses until after Emma was sleeping, at which point they’d usually try and brave the cold long enough to enjoy some alone time, even if it was encumbered by bulky jackets and scarves. They never had enough time, but they’d managed slightly more satisfactory make out sessions in the empty school and in Dean’s tent. But they were always too rushed and things had to end too quickly.

Dean ached for her more and more every day.

One evening in mid December, the air was much milder than usual; the day had been unseasonably warm and the night held on to a trace of it. Dean had Y/N pressed up against the side of the thick canvas tent, sucking on the soft skin just below her ear. As her breath caught and she angled her head so that he had better access, he was practically vibrating with how badly he needed to feel her. 

As he breathed into her mouth, he slowly unzipped her jeans, letting her tell him no if she wanted. But she just nodded and bit her lip.

He watched her face as he slipped his fingers under the waistband of the leggings she wore as an extra layer against the cold, and then down into her panties. He desperately tried to stifle the moan that wanted to escape as he felt how soaking wet she was for him.

“Goddamn.” He whispered roughly as he slid two fingers inside her, rubbing his thumb against her little bundle of nerves and making her bite harder into her lip to keep quiet. He decided to help her out and closed his mouth over hers, swallowing up her small moans.

He pushed in and out of her body, his cock hardening as she gripped his forearm where it disappeared into her pants while her cunt clenched tight around his fingers. He passed his fingers over her sweet spot a couple of times and she fell over the edge. She broke off their kiss to bury a scream in his neck, muffling it with his thick collar. 

As she came down she clung to him, her hot breaths creating puffs of white in the cold air. She moved her hand to cup his hard on through his jeans and was just reaching for his zipper when they suddenly heard Cas’ voice inside the tent.

“Emma, where is your mother and Dean?” 

Dean groaned. What the fuck? Y/N squeaked slightly and pulled her hand back, making him absolutely throb with need. He was gonna slaughter his best friend. 

They were quickly righting their clothing when Emma's voice reached them, and it didn’t really sound like she’d been sleeping.

“They’re outside the tent, kissing each other.”

Y/N’s eyes got huge and round and Dean stifled a snorted laugh behind his palm while she slapped his bicep. 

“It’s not funny. Jesus, we’re gonna traumatize her!” She said in a horrified whisper.

Suddenly Cas’ head poked around the side of the tent and he frowned. “Are you finished kissing?”

Y/N buried her head in Dean’s chest and Dean scowled at the angel. “Well, we sure as hell are now.”

Cas nodded, completely ignoring Dean’s frustration. “Good. You need to come inside. I have incredible news.”

Dean sighed and rolled his eyes. “What news, Cas?”

The angel’s smile was surprising in its rarity and it made Dean raise an eyebrow.

“I know why Y/N isn’t a psychic.”

Jensen RPF and Any/All Characters: @lyarr24 @lacilou @deans-spinster-witch @globetrotter28 @suckitands33 @akshi8278 @evznackles @jackles010378 @impala67rollingthroughtown @krazykelly @candy-coated-misery0731 @envyaurora95 @spnwoman @deans-baby-momma

Dean Fics Only: @roonthelittlespoon920 @slamminmine @zepskies @safiyas-world

Any/All Fics Regardless of Character or Fandom: @kazsrm67 @slut-for-evans-stan @sexyvixen7 @nancymcl @hobby27 @waywardcheshire

Everything Incl. Fan Edits: @k-slla @leigh70 @eevvvaa @kickingitwithkirk @foxyjwls007 @notinthislife50 @roseblue373 @mishkatelwarriorgoddess @avanatural @mrsjenniferwinchester @all-alone-he-turns-to-stone @deangirl96

[luvvyouforever]

rhys and john keats - modern au!rhysand x college student!reader ❥

↳ reader can barely handle the weight of college but rhysand is there to pick her up and help the pain.

↳ so self indulgent it hurts. set in a modern age where reader is a college student but rhysand is still high lord? idk honestly. mentions of stress, self doubt, comfort, crying. my day-to-day life essentially.

↳ requests are open! check characters in pinned post and link for requests is in my bio :)

the living room of your shared apartment with rhysand is a sight to behold. papers, printed copies of poems, books, pens, highlighters, and three energy drinks enclose you in a circular shape. it's horrifying and the sight is not eased by your messy hair, dark circles, and tear-stained cheeks. the semester was getting to you, clearly.

three papers were due for one class in the next two weeks. six quizzes were on the agenda and you had easily ten multiple page texts to read before class at 9am the following monday.

it had never been this stressful before but your time in college was coming to an end and that only ramped up the amount of work you had to complete. your final few semesters were certain to end you and you'd never get to walk across that stage to receive a blank page of paper which would eventually be replaced with your actual diploma. that's how it felt, at least.

minutes full of agony passed until you heard the familiar flapping of strong wings on the balcony. you didn't move from your sitting position as rhysand sauntered into the room, smile so wide it reached his violet eyes.

"my dear y/n," he whispered. his voice was so sweet that another tear forced its way out of your eye and down your cheek again. he must have sensed it, the stress pouring down your bond, or maybe he could somehow smell the salt of the tear as it dripped onto the page in your lap. he knelt down to meet your face and he pouted. "what's going on, darling?"

for the first time that night, you tore your gaze away from your work and met his eyes. "there's too much," you mumbled with a watery voice. "i can't do this."

he made a click with his tongue while examining the piles of work on the floor. his fingers lifted the assignment prompts and poems and syllabus requirements. more tears fell and you silently cursed each and every one of them.

"why can't you do it? what's challenging you?" he asked gently. it was not meant to condescend but he was trying to figure out how to help you in the best way possible.

"i feel like the analyses i'm coming up with are dumb, i don't understand the lines, the rhyme scheme is stupid, and i don't know what my thesis is for a moronic paper on keats should be. it's stupid and dumb and i'm stupid and dumb."

rhysand moved his hands to your cheeks before you could even react and pulled your face to meet his strong eye contact. his purple eyes bore into yours and he poured liters of reassurance down the bond. that mental claw in his head brushed against your mind in a calming manner. "do not say words like that, my love. you are so intelligent. and you're fully capable of managing everything on your plate."

you sniffed, feeling pathetic in his strong gaze. "i don't feel that way, though. i don't know how to deal with this stress, rhys. it's impossible. it's like this huge tower looming before me and i'm being asked to climb every single step in the best possible way or else i'll be pushed off of the top."

rhysand breathed out a sigh and his hand found your own. "i'm gonna help you climb that tower, okay?" he grabbed a brightly annotated copy of a keats poem and read over it.

"have you even read keats? or dickinson? do you know what a thesis statement is?" you asked. there was a bite to your words but it didn't faze rhysand in the slightest.

"of course i do, love. what do you think i do in my spare time when i'm not being an expert ruler? there's a small section i had put in the library, down on one of the lower floors, and it's full of human books. there's anthologies of authors, textbooks on writing, math theory, whatever you want, it's there. and i've perused it all. this poem-" he held up the printed keats "-is one of my favorites.

"so, the way i interpret this poem is that in order to withstand and stay strong in the face of suffering, we should indulge in poetry, beauty, and art. don't you think so?" he began to recite some lines which resembled this theme and suddenly, it all made sense.

he did that two more times with the other texts you had to write about. everything connected when he taught it and read it. you now had three outlines completed with well-developed thesis statements, annotated stories and poems for discussion, and three out of six quizzes were completed.

"thank you," you said, pouring as much love through your bond as you could. "really, thank you. this means so much to me."

"of course, my dear. shall i put on a sweater vest and glasses and replace your professor from here on out?"

you giggled and finally stood from the floor. the two of you walked into the kitchen to begin making a nutritious, filling dinner with your favorite velaris-sourced wine. "i would absolutely take you up on that offer if it didn't mean everyone in the class would be vying for your attention."

rhysand's arms wrapped around your midsection while you prepared food for dinner. his head leaned forward so that his mouth was by your ear. "i only have eyes for the smartest person in class."

can you tell i'm an english major? this is all very self-insert, i read the keats poem i talked about like two weeks ago :p

[mobiuslab]

Reverse: 1999 seems unreal; too good to be true.

The reason I even took notice of it in the first place was its soundtrack. I hate jazz, but they made a jazz song that I actually like, and then there's ReReReRegulus!, what a banger. And then I watched the trailer, to get a feel of what the game is even about. First of all, the accents! Hello? I normally always play games in JP, but this game seems to be set not in some fictional world, but in our real world, in the real London, so the British English dub would be so much more immersive (but of course there are a lot of familiar JP seiyuu, I'm very conflicted.) If this game, unlike Genshin, has a good voice director, who actually does their work and tells the VA's how the character is supposed to sound, I might play in English tbh. As a former FGO player, traveling to the past isn't an entirely novel concept to me, however, we are going to the 20th century, which is quite interesting. I mean, think about it, the 20th century of our real world, there are so many fascinating historical events. And it seems that they are putting in much more effort in portraying the zeitgeist of the era than FGO ever did. The artistic direction seems to be on point for this game. Apparently there is a main character, with a canon personality and fully voiced dialogue. Hoyo making Honkai Impact 2.0's new MC a self-insert was the stupidest move, and I'm so glad that this game understands how much better a canon protagonist is. It really convinces me that they care about storytelling and characterization. The general artistic direction is so impressive, but the game itself also surprises me. The base rate of 6-stars is 1.5% (compared to Genshin and Star Rail's 0.6%) AND the soft pity starts at 60, with hard pity being at 70. There doesn't seem to be a weapon gacha and the dupes only increase skill multipliers instead of completely changing how a character can be played. At first, I thought it was unfortunate that pick-up rate was only 50%, but every character joins the standard pool, so losing the 50/50 won't be nearly as bad. Unless the gacha currency economy is completely fucked, this seems extremely generous. The combat is thankfully not one of those god-awful auto-fights like Blue Archive or PriConne, but it's turn-based, which is much more engaging, allowing for challenging battles that actually pick your brain and require some skill.

However, there is an auto-mode for the mundane stuff, and get this, you can record your actions, rather than having an AI do everything wrong. And thankfully, there is no PvP, so you don't need to compete with whales. Knowing all this, I really have to wonder, where is the catch? There must be some huge flaw, right? It is as if the devs of Reverse: 1999 looked at all the complaints and criticism of all other gacha games, and just decided to address all of them. As long as the game doesn't have a huge reliance on meta characters to clear endgame content and event-limited content and the writing doesn't absolutely suck, then this game might be the perfect gacha game. I'm so excited to give it a try!

[ariaverge]

wait you made a genesis controller that's so fucking cool

Hell yeah I did!! I was making custom arcade sticks for a while with my best friend. We made one as a proof of concept for a decently popular speedrunner and when he used it on stream a number of other streamers contacted us looking for controllers. One was a classic Sonic runner that asked for a Genesis controller and I was like "Sure, that sounds like a fun challenge!"

It wound up being... Ultimately not that bad?? But it required a lot of experimentation and learning on my part the details of which are about to be inflicted upon you because you dared to ask

When I started I looked at the Genesis controller pinout my first thought was "oh, that's super easy" - it's 9 pins: 2 that carry power, 6 that carry data, and one SELECT line that changes which pins represent which buttons. This is a hilariously easy C program to write so I got the Pico SDK set up and cranked it out, flashed it using my janky homemade picoprobe carrier, and immediately ran headfirst into problems.

See, my thinking was along the lines of "The Pico runs at like 8x the clockspeed of the Genesis, I just need some level shifters to convert between 3V and 5V signals and we're golden" and that was... Actually mostly true. However, every like 20-30 seconds it would produce either phantom inputs or drop out entirely for half a second or so, which is just laughably unacceptable for speedrunning purposes.

I tried pursuing that implementation for a while - down to comparing signals from my controller and a stock Genesis controller with an oscilloscope - before I ultimately decided that it wasn't worth the effort. I think the final straw was that it was basically working in game but the everdrive menu wouldn't work with it at all?

It was at this time that I finally decided to crack open an old Genesis controller and look at what integrated components (ICs) it used to try to reverse the circuit. The one I had was worthless - after copycat controllers started showing up on the market back in the day SEGA switched all their official controllers to use a single proprietary chip that they produced specifically for this purpose. They even put a glob of some dense cured resin shit over the chip and the traces around it to make it impossible to lift off the board or reverse.

I found a couple grainy scans online of REEEEEEALLY old controller models that and could sus out a multiplexer chip and that's about when things started making sense to me. Previously I had only worked with digital controller protocols like xinput (Xbox/PC) or joybus (N64/GameCube) but that was a level of sophistication only achieved later in the development of game consoles - there is no protocol on the Genesis.

There are 9 pins on the Genesis main board (18 for both controller inputs) that are connected directly to the pins on the controller port. Your controller takes a Long Ass Wire and connects those pins to buttons on the gamepad, with a multiplexer sitting in between so it can swap out a couple buttons based on the SEL line. It didn't matter how fast my chip ran because 1. This is gonna be a noisy signal and measuring it digitally is going to be imperfect, and 2. Literally any latency whatsoever is a problem because this is going to be read at a hugely variable rate. This has to be implemented with logic gates.

For those of you that have a college education (in say, comp sci or comp eng or electrical eng or mech eng) this is likely not that much of a challenge. For me, as a professional software engineer, expressing the logic was trivial:

(I know I probably could've done that with just NAND gates (and the inverter is COMPLETELY unnecessary) but a girl loves easy-to-read circuit diagrams that directly reflect the intended logic)

But manufacturing the damn thing?? THAT was the hard part. My dumb (white, self-taught) ass had never worked with ICs before, so my first draft was literally just sticking all of these together with no resistors or capacitors in there whatsoever. I had basically just made an antenna - moving the controller around in space (or bearing near enough to other electronics) caused voltage fluctuations which resulted in erratic signals being sent to the console.

My SECOND draft however - after consulting with an Actual Electrical Engineer ™ and learning the benefits of capacitors and resistors in logic circuit design - worked fucking great. According to EE friend it was slightly overbuilt - I had given each IC its own power input smoothing capacitor located right next to those pins when just one would likely suffice, and similarly every input pin got its own pull-up resistor - but I was 100% okay with that. Overbuilt is better than underbuilt and this is a handmade low-volume good, a couple cents on electrical components made no meaningful budget impact.

One "oh god fuck doing this by hand" and run of FreeRouting's Auto Router later we had ourselves a PCB layout!

I placed an order for 3 of those from our good friends at OshPark and then it was just a matter of assembly! Soldering it together was easy as hell, the final product ended up looking this (short a few capacitors I was still testing to see if I needed)

Then it was time for assembly!! The client requested black acrylic panels to kind of resemble a B0XX so I took our CAD model of the controller and I added circuit mounting holes to the bottom panel, cut each panel out with my laser cutter, and started piecing the panel joints together with a tight friction fit. To seal the joints I carefully filed the seams of each edge until I had a rounded and near-seamless corner filled with ground acrylic and then used a very fine plastics glue to flood the micro gaps in there and give it more long term sticking power. Notably I didn't do this on the bottom panel as it's meant to be popped on and off by the user if they wanted to replace the buttons or wiring harnesses or something.

Then...it was done!! Because of the raw amount of fuckery involved in this process (and the fact that this wasn't my main source of income/I was selling my house/meeting my fiance/MANY other things) it took about a year between me receiving the commission and actually shipping the finished product, but I'm really proud to say that we did do it and the client LOVES it!!

[smash-64]

2024 Game of the Year Countdown Honorable Mention: Pokemon Leaf Green Nintendo GameBoy Advance, 2005

Playing another Kanto game so soon?? (Preview: there will be another Kanto game on my GotY list) AND doing a poison type Nuzlocke? Am I crazy?

Well, not entirely. I’ve been wanting to replay Pokemon games lately and I’ve seen Kanto dozens upon dozens of times over the years, so I’d definitely need something to keep it fresh. Add in that Gen 3 is probably my least favorite generation, and I DEFINITELY needed encouragement. As this particular replay was more about my Nuzlocke attempt, my “review” will lean entirely on that aspect rather than anything else. Check below the cut for a lengthy summary!

I have only ever truly tried one Nuzlocke in my Pokemon career, and it was also on a Gen 3 Kanto remake. I tried a bug type only Nuzlocke on Fire Red a very, very long time ago, and it ended in tragedy. I made it all the way to Lance, where I lost my Beedrill, and then lost the other four members of my team against Gary. A critical hit at the wrong time put me in a bad spot and Scyther couldn’t Swords Dance me outta that one. Bug types had me hamstrung from the start, as I only had five available to me: Beedrill, Butterfree, Parasect, Venomoth, and Scyther (no Pinsir since I had no trade options open to me at the time). It was rough and Blaine involved a LOT of luck. However, this is not about my failed Nuzlocke attempt from long ago; it’s about my successful one from 2024!

I fell into poison type as my option since it offered me a few choices, but none of them were exactly OU tier crushers. Additionally, I was stuck without certain options, like Crobat due to the lack of friendship evolutions, and Gengar, since while I do have trading available to me now, I wasn’t willing to restart my post-Elite Four Fire Red in order to complete a trade. Gen 3 had some stupid roadblocks and the trade limits are really annoying. Don’t get me started on how they permanently ruined the entire stat system, not to mention how hard it was to Catch ‘em All. I digress.

Bulbasaur was my starter and obvious choice for a strong, early poison type. With both Nidorans catchable before Mt. Moon, and two Moon Stones within, I was able to waltz into Cerulean City with a Nidoqueen and Nidoking. This made the early game a breeze! I appreciate the original Gen 1 designers for making it possible to find such strong Pokemon early in the game, should you know where to look and what to do.

My next team member was going to be Haunter, and I did give myself one rule exception to the standard Nuzlocke: Haunter, as a ghost, is allowed to faint; but ONLY when using Destiny Bond. Seems fitting and proper for a ghost to be able to do stuff like this. As an attacker, Haunter was destroying teams with her crazy high special attack. This was nice since I wasn’t going to be able to do the trade evolution required for Gengar. 

Tentacruel came next and easily slotted in. I found myself riding high for a long time, but I knew I’d eventually have to face my most difficult challenge: taking on Sabrina. With only poison types available, I was fully exposed to everyone in the gym. Destiny Bond Haunter can only get me so far, so I was glad to see that Gen 3 did at least one thing right: they gave Nidoking Megahorn. 

Sabrina ended up being a huge pushover. As did Giovanni and Victory Road. Before I knew it, I was at the Indigo Plateau and the Elite Four. Now, I recall my Fire Red bug type Nuzlocke going similarly, but I wasn’t going to allow myself to grind levels for a simple advantage like that. I had to do it the hard way.

I got lucky with some odd choices by the AI when fighting Lorelai; Slowbro vs Nidoking saw her use Amnesia when I didn’t OHKO her with Megahorn, which is a very strange choice. I know Gen 1 had some poorly programmed AI, but I figured they would have fixed it by Gen 3. Then, Nidoqueen’s Thunder got a critical hit against Cloyster, and I easily Destiny Bonded Lapras with Haunter. Bruno was a joke, and Agatha was as well, aside from her higher-level Gengar, which turned into a war of attrition with the Poke Flute constantly playing in the background while she got extremely lucky on like eight Hypnosis hits in a row. 55% accurate move, but 100% accurate in the hands of the CPU AI.

Lance was also surprisingly easy. Putting Ice Beam on Tentacruel proved to be crucial, as was keeping Barrier. But Gary’s sheer level advantage was always going to be a huge challenge. 

Nidoqueen took care of Pidgeot easily enough, and Destiny Bond took care of Alakazam thanks to another strange AI choice, when it opted for Future Sight over Psychic on turn one, as I discovered that Haunter, despite putting all the EV’s I could into speed, was slower than Alakazam. Nidoking OHKO’d Exeggutor, but this is where I started to run into trouble. I threw one Rock Tomb on Charizard, but had to switch out after a much too powerful Fire Blast. Nidoqueen missed Thunder TWICE, and fell to Gary’s Charizard. RIP Nidoqueen.

Tentacruel was up next, and with Rock Tomb’s speed reduction, cleaned up easily. Rhydon never stood a chance, either. Gary’s last Pokemon, Gyarados, would prove much more difficult than any Gyarados should in the pre-physical/special split era. I figured Venusaur would be a good matchup, and I got one Leech Seed off before a Thrash critical hit claimed another victim. RIP Venusaur.

Nidoking was next and got off only a single Rock Tomb before Hydro Pump claimed him as well, but I did get the speed reduction I wanted. RIP Nidoking.

Tentacruel was my only Pokemon left, I tripled up on Barrier to max out my defense, and Thrash was doing like 17 damage. With Leech Seed, the speed reduction of Rock Tomb, and maxed out defense, I knew I was in a really great position for the long haul. After what felt like a dozen Full Restores, the AI finally gave up and I took the fight. 

Technically, only Haunter and Tentacruel survived the Nuzlocke challenge, which is a bit disappointing if I’m honest. But it was still a fun way to play an old game from a generation that isn’t one of my favorites.

[epitomereally]

Renegade Binderary 2 of 3: Kept in Cages by @sweet-s0rr0w and @ihopeyoubothstaysafefromharm

Deep in the heart of the Ministry lies the Beast Division: a hidden room where ancient beasts roam, and winged creatures soar, and grumpy giant ferrets eat all your biscuits unless you keep them well hidden. Draco Malfoy would know – he’s been working there for five years now, after all.

Meanwhile, on Level One, ex-Golden Boy Harry Potter is stuck in another interminable policy meeting, completely unaware of the mysterious comings and goings just three floors below. But when a giant snake emergency requires the assistance of a Parselmouth, Harry finds himself thrust, unprepared, into Draco’s weird and wonderful world – and naturally, he can’t keep away…

In this fic, Sweet and Joy wove an incredibly hopeful and gracious journey of healing for both Harry and Draco against a lush backdrop of magical creatures & friends. I am so happy to have bound this fic for Sweet and me. I bound this as a part of Renegade’s Binderary 2023 (where we challenge ourselves to make as many books as we can). I specifically focused on some of my favorite fics published in 2022 that I hadn’t already bound :)

I was quite burnt out of writing & reading fic at the end of H/D Wireless 2022 and so I slept on this fic for months and SHAME ON ME! It took me until December to read it and I was just blown away by the world that Joy and Sweet built together. I had this two-toned blue/green bookcloth, knew I wanted to have a cut-out, found this gorgeous William Morris tapestry, and boom, the design was born. I also want to say that Joy’s gorgeous illustrations & Sweet’s beautiful words were so evocative that designing & typesetting this was a breeze; if you have any doubt, see how @a-gay-old-time (who did such an amazing bind of this here) and I came to very similar design choices independently :)

I also used text from @sitp-recs' rec here and @getawayfox's rec here at the front of the book, which I would love to start doing for all of my binds.

I learned a ton of stuff that is totally boring to a non-fanbinder, but was huge for me: footnotes, full page illustrations, double French-core endbands (still need some refinement, but I am so happy to be able to use more than two colors!), cut-outs!! Some technical challenges of this bind: getting the cut-out exactly in the right spot, using a guillotine for the first time & having some pretty tight margins as a result, painting on Duo bookcloth (the texture makes it really tough!), but I'm still so happy with this bind. I also have to acknowledge @pleasantboatpress who inspired both the headbands and the cut-out with their absolutely gorgeous binds.

Materials:

Title font: Argaka

Body font: Alegraya

Endpapers: Birds by William Morris (public domain)

Bookcloth: Duo Laguna (sadly no longer being manufactured :()

[the-trans-folk-witch]

Post Herbalist, Pre Pre-Medical traditional Witchcraft: a Joke but a reality.

Before I hand feed you my BITTER solar-infused coffee-induced rant, let me give a few ( comically self made) definitions: *see notes

Post Herbalist witchcraft: "energy work**" and magics that are performed by peoples with no means, funds, or ability to obtain herbs and knowledge of herbal medicine for magic and health. This loss of knowledge is due to colonization, fear of herbalisms ties to witchcraft, and the push for modern"white medicine. Note*- I fucking hate the term energy work, yet the magic itself is very very real and used by me.

Pre Pre-Medical witchcraft: -Not to be confused with Pre-med schooling in preparation for grad school.- Pre Pre-medical is what I call the average knowledge of modern medicine that the average person can obtain by ways of public K-12 schooling and the internet. Its place in witchcraft is the knowledge of medicine and the dangers of herbs and or anti-vaxx/med dangers within magical communities. In essence, Pre Pre-medical witchcraft is the belief in modern medicine as well as magical healing methods. Not to be confused with holistic healing which is utter bullshit when taught as completely factual in organized religious spaces.

With these definitions explained less blurred in the mind of the greater trad witch community, and ignorant tumblr onlookers, I move on to my spiel.

As a professional witch, conjurer, seer, and drama queen, I struggle to find a home amongst communities that have watered down witchcraft for a younger, whiter, and less informed audience. Gone are the days of nuance and professionalism. Today is now ruled by forever-beginners, eternal-newbs, and influencers turned teachers. With this post I hope to separate the wheat from the chaff and find the cream of the crop.

To practice witchcraft in a time where herbs are expensive yet taught as the only means to perform spells; and at a time when cities and suburbs have ruined free access to native plants; I find myself performing more prayer and power based magics. No longer do i spend money on herbs, candles and the like. Nor do I plan to purchase the land required to grow my own. I invest in verbal charms, prayer, writing, movement, and my own bodily secretions. I jokingly call this "Post herbalist Pre Pre-Medical witchcraft."It is more informed and rooted in history than generic "energy work". And is less concerned with the consumerism that is forced upon modern witches via herbs and more. The joke is the name is so humorously long and ignorant that it kind of works. I expect the internet will love it considering you folks love putting every adjective before "witch" such as "solar witches" and "crystal witches". Although I suspect people looking for such titles do not have the attention span to read this wordy blog post.

In 2020 I challenged myself to go a year without spending a dollar on my magic. Here we are in 2024 and I'm still going. Yes I use plant materials. Yes I buy things for spirit offerings. But no. I don't have a huge cabinet of herbs and candles. I fully rely on my spirits, my witchflame, the land, and my body to produce magic. No money required. I could spend another fifteen paragraphs explaining how to do so. But alas, i don't care to share. As I said, I am done engaging with forever-newbs who are at the same place they started in witchcraft ten years ago.

I hope my short yet long* rant leads you to... something useful

*note: this is actually a very short read. But in the modern internet sphere we are all unable to process information that's not in video format consisting of no more than 2 minutes. so this is a long post nowadays. hehe im really on a soap box today. sorry im so bitter.