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just-a-ghost00 · 26 days ago

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Who is your future spouse?

I'll be trying to get significant details about your spouse using 3 different decks. I'm not asking any specific question about looks or personality but rather just letting spirit guide us towards any detail they deem worthy of our attention. As this is a general reading, you may not resonate with every single detail but the general picture or overall vibe may speak to you to some level. For once, I decided to do 4 groups instead of 3.

Group 1

"I see grace and possibility in all of life's challenges." "There's no such thing as mistakes. Everything happens in divine order. I am being guided to learn and grow." "I accept the gifts I've been given as a high service to the world."

White Numen tarot : Queen of cups, 5 of swords, The Fool, knight of pentacles, 6 of cups

I don't care oracle : Take care of yourself, Close your curtains close your eyes sleep, Got a drink? Cheers! , Box with the pillow

Starting with the image you picked, I'm getting a strong message of using music and art in general as a form of escapism but also a mean of harmless self expression. Your FS may be struggling with a sense of loneliness that they are fighting off through a strong interest in any form of artistic expression. The bunny makes me think of innocence and creativity. The fact that it's a plushy makes me think of childhood and frailty. This passion that they have is something that stems from childhood and that has allowed them to hold on through hard times. I can't help but to be reminded of Stray Kids Lee Know when I look at this image. So maybe your FS has a similar personality or background to Lee Know's. Your FS could be a Kpop enthusiast. They could be an artist or enjoy doing art as their hobby. They are a rather sensitive and soft individual. They have a very comforting presence. There's a sadness to them that feels a little bittersweet.

They've been through a lot, not only romantic wise but also just on a personal level. Despite everything they've been through, they still have a lot of faith in the Universe and in mankind. With time, they've chosen to see their struggles as opportunities for growth and to cherish every experience that they get to live, even though some of them are uncomfortable because they're aware that in everything lies a blessing in disguise. They are very spiritual and they have a strong mindset gained through years of pain and struggle. They're an old soul and chances are that they have a lot of interesting stories to tell about their past.

Speaking of the past, you may share several past lives with this person. If you don't believe in this concept, you just may feel like you've known this person before when you've just barely met because they are so genuine and empathetic that it feels like they know you at your very core. For some of you, they could be a childhood friend. This person could also work with children or just be very popular with babies and kids. Another thing I am picking up on is that though this person is very mature and has gone through a lot, they look very innocent and youthful. Many people underestimate this person's age because of how childlike they may appear physically. Like, their skin is very soft and supple, they have no grey hair nor do they have wrinkles, they may be quite petite compared to other people of their age.

They've struggled with their mental health quite a lot. They're constantly thinking and bickering with their own self. They may be neurodivergent or struggle with a form of mental disorder. Another thing is that they have a very striking effect on people because they're hard to grasp. Their personality and the way they show up is so unique that they can't be categorized, "put into a box". This person just takes pride in not fitting, not conforming to any standard or norm. They don't like to be trapped in outdated perceptions of life and society. They are very protective of their freedom of expression. So chances are they have a very particular sense of style, a very specific way of expressing themselves in public, a particular posture that makes them stand out from other people. Like for example, they're the only person in their family that doesn't conform to gender norms. Actually I feel like the notion of gender isn't relevent to this person. However, they appear as quite feminine in their energy.

One thing that is very striking about them is how detached about material life they are. They do not care about possessions, wealth. This person is very generous and humble. They could give away their own clothes on a whim just to help someone else, buy a random person a meal just for the sake of making a good deed. They do random acts of kindness, not just with people they know but with anyone they come across. They give to charities, they leave food on the street for the homeless or for stray animals,they share important information on their socials in case it may be useful to someone. They're just really selfless. The reason behind that is because this person comes from a rather "poor" background. They know what it's like to be lacking something and they believe that any good deed done will come back to them. They have this mentality of not doing to others what they wouldn't appreciate themselves. So they're definitely not the kind to look down on other people or to hate on others.

This generosity can also be shown in their emotions and how they express themselves. They do not shy away from telling people they love them. They are very demonstrative and openly communicate their feelings, even though it makes them vulnerable. They wear their heart on their sleeve. They're incapable of lying. In connections, this person pours their heart out and they give their all. They're incredibly loving, kind, compassionate and patient. They show a lot of empathy and understanding towards others but they tend to be extremely harsh on themselves.

They struggle with a lot of anger issues as well as overthinking. They tend to burn themselves out thinking and worrying about others, helping other people to the detriment of their own health. They're in desperate need of love and rest and they have a hard time slowing down to focus on themselves. This person is not used to receiving and giving themselves the love that they willingly and selflessly give to others.

They're a cat lover. They may or may not own a pet cat. They have a cat like personality. They're more of an introvert but they tend to put on an extrovert façade to please others, especially their family and friends.

This person can be quite easily sociable with people however there aren't many people that they feel close to. In social settings, they tend to stay aside and only interact with the crowd here and there, out of politeness. They may struggle with the feeling of not belonging. They may feel like they do not fit in because of their unique sense of self and their strong morals. Again, I get strong neurodivergent vibes from this person but I also get a theme of cultural differences. This person may have grown in an environment where only a specific demographic was represented and they were the only source of diversity. Now that could mean all kinds of things but to give you an example maybe they grew up in a city where most people had fair skin and they were the only child with a different skin color. Or like maybe when they were a kid they were the only boy/girl when all the other kids were of the opposite biological sex.

Speaking of cultural differences, at the beginning of your reading, I had the impression that they lived in a different country than yours and that feeling is further confirmed with the spread. They could possibly have a similar background to yours but the only difference is that they grew up in a different setting. Like for instance, imagine two people that are both of European descent but one of them grew up in Spain while the other spent on the other side of the globe for some reason. Another thing I was picking up on was two people being born from two different ethnicities. So I feel like you and your future spouse will have a lot in common in the sense that you may have been through similar hardships in your life though you come from completely different areas of the globe. You could bond over things like : being the "black sheep" of the family, being the "generational curse breaker", being the "weird child" or the "rebellious child", being bullied in school because of your looks/sexual preferences/culture/religion or any form of difference that made you stand out, feeling like you don't belong, wanting to be someone else or somewhere else, feeling like you're not from this planet, having a weird interest in astrology and space facts, believing in ghosts and/or UFOs.

Group 2

"I communicate with ease and grace. People are willing to embrace what I have to say." "I welcome healthy, loving relationships." "I celebrate my progress. Awareness, not perfection, is the goal."

White Numen tarot : The Magician, 8 of wands, Queen of cups, King of wands, Ace of cups

I don't care oracle : Sorry not sorry, Spread the love, Yes! , Smile smile more even more!, You are not your emotions

This person is very chatty and an excellent communicator. They have a very eloquent speech and a beautiful voice that may be envied by many. They enjoy singing and whistling. They can easily talk anyone through anything. They have a bit of a snake charmer vibe. They're a smooth talker and many times got out of trouble because of that. They have a fascination for birds and/or their nickname revolves around a bird. I'm thinking of Woody Woodpecker, Tweety, Daffy and Donald Duck, Zazu, Iago. Like either that or they are named after a bird or compared to a specific bird. Specifically, there are peacock feathers depicted on the relationships card from the Spirit Junkie oracle. So peacocks could be relevant to this connection somehow. Either they get compared to a peacock because they tend to show off around potential partners or because they have a really flamboyant nature and attidude. They also could be compared to parots or phoenix.

This person exudes a lot of masculine energy. They may be depicted by other people as a playboy/playgirl, as a macho if they're perceived as a man or if they're perceived as a woman their feminism may not be well perceived by their peers. I feel like they get a lot of backlash from others and get wrongly accused of being so many things because of how unapologetically themselves they are. This person has a lot of self confidence and they have strong values. They draw a lot of attention but also a lot of envy and jealousy. They may be in the public eye.

They are extremely harsh with themselves and have perfectionist tendencies. They're a workaholic. They're extremely prideful and take a lot of pride in their accomplishments, especially on a professional level. They are the type to never regret a choice they make, even though people do not share their opinion on the matter because once they've set their mind on something it is very hard for them to change their perspective. They are incredibly stubborn but also incredibly resilient.

They are very popular and sociable, however they just don't let anybody in their close circle. This person has strong boundaries and they do not hold their tongue. They've put themselves in trouble more times than they can count because of their blunt approach. People around them may say that they are haughty or that they have no respect for their elders, that they do not take criticism well or that they are full of themselves. But the truth is this person is just very protective of their own space and they were raised in a background that taught them to always speak their mind when something doesn't feel right. They cannot stand injustice and you can be sure that this person will always stand up for what is right, no matter their differences with the people involved.

They have climbed the ladders of society through their hard work. They "came from nothing" and "became somebody" because of how dedicated they were to their craft. This earned them a lot of respect but also a lot of advantages and money. This person is now wealthy and leaving very comfortably but this wasn't the case when they were a child. They became so succesful that they may now be their own boss. They earned enough money to be able to open their own business or work independantly. If this person is an artist for instance, they fund their own work with their own money. They may own their own label or they're just a solo artist because they've gained enough of an audience and enough resources to be able to do so. This is just one example among many. They could be working freelance on different projects or own a brand of some sort. It could be anything really. If not that, then they have a higher status within their work environment compared to when they started.

For most of you, I feel like your FS is older than you. There's a stark contrast between you not only because of your age but also because of your maturity and life experience. I feel like you would be very intimidated by this person at first but also, because of everything I mentioned before, you may start off with a bad impression of them because of how other people depict them or gossip you may have heard. You could start off as rivals or "ennemies" so to speak. Also, I get the feeling that when you first meet them, you will think that they are disinterested in you or that they don't like you.

Despite their intimidating façade, this person is actually incredibly kind and loving. They are very sweet and sensitive, but they don't show that aspect of themselves to a lot of people. They have huge trust issues and they struggle with intimacy. They are hyper independant and they tend to repress their emotions, especially their sadness, through humor. They're the type of person that will act like a clown and make jokes to distract themselves and others from the fact that they are not okay. If you talk with this person and start to get deep by bringing up intimate subjects, they are likely to swiftly change the subject or disguise the truth by joking around. They may exagerate certain traits to make themselves appear stronger or cooler and take away the vulnerable aspects of the story. Let's say this person got into a fight and was hurt in the process. Maybe the true reason why they got into this fight was because they were drunk after breaking up with their past lover and a person's attitude didn't sit right with them in that specific setting. When they tell you the story, they may omit the fact they were at their lowest and emphasize how brave they were to stand up and interfere because a person twice their size was bothering another customer. That kind of thing.

This person has a problem with expressing their feminine side and showing emotion. They do not talk about themselves much or if they do, they always make sure it isn't too personal. They tend to mask a lot of their pain, a lot of their fears. They hide behind a mask to cover up for the fact that they are in truth really sensitive and insecure about themselves. I get the message that this person struggles with their feminine side because of a masculine figure in their life. Growing up, they were taught that they shouldn't cry or let people see their "weakness". They were taught that showing affection wasn't safe. They were criticized for their soft nature and had to become tougher with time to be able to make it through. Again, I get a neurodivergent vibe from this person, which is similar to group 1. Maybe you felt drawn to that group as well.

They are very passionate and invested in whatever is going on around them. I feel like they are very active political wise and that ties down to their issues with injustice. This person either does a lot of community work or advocates for a lot of causes. They may use their influence and means of communication to raise awareness around certain subjects. I'm specifically picking up on mental health issues and struggles surrounding one's body image, speaking up against racism, bullying, sexual harassment at work. They have a lot of love to give and a sensitive side to them that they don't get to express very often but when they are in such setting that is when they can truly be themselves and wear their heart on their sleeve. You may see this person's gaze light up when they talk about subjects that interest them, things that are dear to their heart. I see this person doing a lot of random acts of kindness but on the lowkey. Things that would go unnoticed or that wouldn't seem that grand but that actually matters. Like putting flowers on someone's grave even though they didn't know them as a proof that someone cares about their passing. Leaving anonymous positive notes in books that they borrow from the library so that the next person is comforted and knows that they matter. Silently watching over children on the streets to ensure that they are safe and no one bothers them. Taking away an object that may be a source of danger for others. Giving away personal belongings by living them in random spots for other people to find them. Pretending like they're clumsy to get two people that like each other to be physically closer in the hopes that it will get things started.

I feel like this person's main love language is acts of services but sometimes they may also express their love in funny/quirky ways or unusual ways. Here are some specific things I am picking up on : making a list of all the things you like so that they know what to do when you feel down or how to surprise you on a specific event, using your go-to words or catch phrases on you to make you smile or laugh, taking interest in the things you like and trying them out to the point of being very specific about it and knowing every detail of it so you don't feel like you're alone and they can better understand you even if it makes them uncomfortable, including you in the things they do by leaving very specific tasks up to you even though they are perfectly capable of doing it on their own because they know it makes you happy, anticipating your needs in ways you wouldn't expect by keeping certain tools or products in close vicinity just in case, mimicking your stance/ your walking pace or any trait that you may be feeling insecure about so that you feel less insecure about it, making sure that you are not being left out during any social interaction and bringing the focus back to you in case you were interupted, countering your every self criticism with a reason why that exact thing is actually a good thing, expressing their opinion of you and how they feel for you in indirect ways by talking about things you remind them of (characters in movies, songs, things that are meaningful to them like a loved one for instance).

Looking at the picture you picked, I get the message that this person values beauty and the aesthetic of things and people. They give a lot of importance to appearances. They could be into home decor and interior design. They could also be into fashion. They may collect a lot of objects because of their aspect. Especially statues, paintings, traditional objects from different countries, floral ornaments. They like scented candles and incense. There is a specific flower that this person likes or they could have been named after a flower. Or they could be born on Flower Day (May 20), Rose Day (February 7), Valentine's Day (February 14), Yellow rose day (May 14 in Korea). Or overall as most flowers bloom during Spring, this season may be their favorite or may have some significance to your connection. I'm not sure what the flower on the picture is, but its shape and color reminded me of blue Hydrangeas.

Group 3

"I release my need to be right. I am defenseless and at peace." "When I lead from a place of love people respect me." " I bring peace wherever I go." White Numen Tarot : Magician, queen of wands, Judgement, Sun, 3 of swords

I don't care oracle : Close your curtains close your eyes sleep, Stop doing so much, Infinity x Infinity , I'm not okay, I am always a child

This person loves animals. They are very popular with animals. They may want to own a pet but they may be allergic to pet fur or they just don't have the opportunity to have one because of their lifestyle. They can both embody a cat like and a puppy like energy. They are very balanced and can both embody feminine and masculine energy very well because they've done a lot of shadow work.

They grew up in an abusive household and/or have dealt with a lot of abuse in their life. This lead them to becoming "mature" too soon for their age. They had to parent themselves and now as an adult they may be described as immature by others because they didn't have the opportunity to do what other children usually do growing up. They had to deal with many responsibilities very early on in their life, either because their parents didn't show up the way they should have or because they left home pretty early on for various reasons. Because of that, they have a hard time letting go of the need to control and asking for help.

One of the ways this person copes with whatever issues they have is by being active. They have a lot of various interests and they look like they never rest. This person's schedule is packed and timed perfectly. They always got something to do, someone to talk to, something to work on. They may struggle with insomnia. One of the reasons why they keep themselves so busy is to cover up for the fact that they feel lonely and scared on their own.

This person looks for meaningful and deep connections. When they feel comfortable with people, they can rant for days about the things that they like and be very quirky but if they do not have a good impression of you they'll remain as cold as an iceberg and you'll never get to see their depth. One of the ways you will be able to tell that your FS likes you is that they will act differently depending on whether they're with you or someone else. They'll do things with you that they wouldn't do with others. Show you sides of themselves that no one has seen. This person including you in their bubble will be a huge sign of their affection and trust. Especially, you meeting their family will be a huge thing because I feel like no one has gotten that opportunity before.

They are very confident in themselves, especially when it comes to their work and studies. They can ace anything you leave up to them as long as they know they've got your trust and things are explicit. However, if they feel like you're being shady or that you doubt them, this person's productivity will be affected dramatically. They struggle with impostor syndrom. They're also very quick to judge characters and they tend to have a strong intuition. So whenever this person tells you that they have a bad feeling about something, they are likely to be right.

They do not realize it bu they hold more power than they think and they are more popular than what they expect. This person is so humble that it would never cross their mind to put themselves forward and talk about their accomplishments. This is because of their upbringing. This person was lead to believe that they were not important and that no matter their achievements or efforts, they would never be enough to be taken seriously. Honestly this person has been through so much in their life that it's a miracle they still find the drive to carry on with a smile on their face. They are incredibly strong and admirable but they would never think that of themselves. They are their own worst enemy and critic. They don't like to be the center of attention but no matter what they do they just cannot escape it.

I feel like right away in your connection, you will intuitively feel very drawn to this person and very early on realize that they are your FS. Their will be something about their eyes that will immediately spark your interest. And everytime you will look into this person's eyes, you will not be able to hold their gaze because of the intensity of what you feel when looking at them. This may be something that they tease you about later on in your connection. I also pick up on a setting or an action that is unusual when you meet them. There will be something that will set you off about this person or maybe you will do something that they are not used to. And that will be the spark that ignites the whole thing. The reason I am saying that is because on the "I am always a child" card, the character depicted is walking barefoot on the street and one of their foot is in the mud. They are very neetly dressed and yet, without a care in the world, they are risking getting all dirty and being laughed at. It looks a bit out of place or out of the ordinary. Here are some things I am picking up on that maybe will speak to you : being the only person that didn't follow the dresscode at a party, walking up the stairs with a bunch of heavy grocery bags when you could have used the elevator, being the only person in the gym that sings to their workout playlist and gets hyped up while everyone else is just quietly sweating it out, being the only person that dares to talk back to the other or makes a comment about a specific touchy subject, being the only person to actually be educated about a specific topic that they're interested into while the others just have a surface level understanding of it, not showing them any sign of interest when other people are desperately trying to get their attention.

Looking at the picture you chose, this person could live by an important body of water. This could also be a sign that they are a very emotional individual. They may be into water sports like surfing, swimming, scuba diving. They could enjoy fishing. They may eat a lot of sea food. When travelling, they may prefer warm places such as islands over the country side or places like mountains. They may prefer Summer over other seasons.

Group 4

"My high vibe thoughts create health in my body, peace in my mind and love in my heart." "Let me be still today and listen to the truth in silence." "The more I honor my inner light the more I brighten the world. I choose to shine."

White Numen tarot : King of wands, 9 of wands, 7 of wands, knight of pentacles, 5 of pentacles

Sorry not sorry, Turn your tongue 7 times in your mouth before you speak, I've got super powers, Tomorrow is another day, Don't be fooled by my appearance my soul is resplendent

Based on your picture, the first thing I pick up on is that you may firstly interact with this person at a distance, either being penpals or through social media/dating apps. The picture also gives me a feeling of nostalgia. This may be someone that you reconnect with after a long time being a part. Daisies is the birth flower of people born in April. So it could be your or their birth month, or you could meet during this month. This person could be a childhood friend or your relationship could start of as friends and evolve into something more over time. I also can't help but to think of Disney's Daisy and Princess Daisy from the Mario lore. So your person gives off a very innocent vibe upon first glance but they turn out to be stronger and smarter than they appear. Though people may think of them as superficial, frail or shallow they are actually have a lot more depth and are very sensitive. This person may tend to be underestimated or overlooked, people may wrongly assume their character because of the way they look. Which feels a bit similar to group 2's person's energy so maybe you felt drawn to that group as well.

Your FS is a very spiritual person and they developped that spirituality through hardships and adversity. They possibly dealt with bullying as a child. This person was lead to believe that they didn't deserve affection, care, help. They spent most of their life being on their own and having to protect themselves because the adults around them where not creating a safe space for them. They have huge trust issues and are hyper independent. They do not know how to ask for help and do everything by themselves. They're the type of person that wants to be recognized solely for their skills and hard work. If someone were to help them or gift them something, they would think that they are not worthy of it because they haven't worked for it or earned it. Their notion of value is distorted because of the way they were raised as a child.

They are originally a very bright and cheerful person but life turned them into a bitter and cold person. Many times in their life, they were shown aspects of humanity that made them lose faith and hope. They were constantly lied to, disregarded, manipulated. People abused their kindness and generosity, treated them badly under the disguise of friendship or love. This person grew to believe that love wasn't meant for them. So when you meet them, they'll likely avoid you and run away from you at first. They'll have a hard time believing that your feelings for them are genuine and they may keep you at arms length for quite a while.

They fear intimacy. This will show in their distate for physical touch and public displays of affection. In their constant need for space and independance, for control within the relationship. Ironically, though they need a lot of space and free range of action, they will show a lot of possessiveness and jealousy especially if you are separated. This connection really gives me ennemies to lovers vibe. They will hate to love you and love to hate you. The beginning stages of your relationship may be quite rocky because of this person's fears and issues. However, because they will be very attached to you and protective over you they will understand the need for them to heal those aspects of their personality for you connection to be healthy and lasting. This is also because they have a strong sense of responsibility and want to be perceived in a good light by their loved ones.

This person is very charismatic and sensual. Chances are that a lot of eyes will be on them and a lot of people will want to pursue them, even while you are dating. They face a lot of envy and jealousy generally speaking but they will face even more adversity once they are with you. Which could interfere in your connection. There will be a lot of gossip about you, especially career wise. People in their work sphere specifically will not understand why your dynamic is working when you seem so different from one another. This will stem mostly from a lack mindset. Even their family could get involved in the drama. Since this person is very popular and likely succesful in their work, people may say things like you could be a threat to their reputation or question your motives for dating this person.

Even though their attraction for you will be very clear and obvious, this person will do everything in their power to ignore it and resist the pull to the point where it may look completely crazy to you and ridiculous. You may think "why is such a mature person acting in such a childish way, this is so unlike them". They'll make choices and actions that you will not understand and could attempt to sabotage the connection. But the more they will try to run away from you the closer they're gonna get because the Universe will not be having any of their BS and you won't either. Every time they will try to ignore or avoid you, they will be reminded of you or forced to face you in some type of way. This person could be trying to flirt with other people to forget about you, they may even straight up date another person thinking that you would disappear from their life. But the people they will interact with will be very similar to you or coincidentally they will be in your circle. If this person is working in a similar occupation, circumstances will have them working with you. They could choose to move out in a new location thinking they would avoid you but it turns out that you frequently go to that place because a family member lives nearby or your doctor's office is located in the same street. If you are a parent, maybe their kid goes to the same school as yours. And so on and so forth. Every time they turn on the radio, they'll hear songs that remind them of you. They'll see or hear your name quite often or will be confronted with something you like every day.

Specifically, I pick up that this person could be a coffee addict but maybe the way they like their coffee is very different to yours and this may be something you passionately debated on. They also have a thing for plants and flowers. They wear glasses or they have a bad eyesight. You could have "argued" about being too blunt and not knowing how to read the room. I don't know why I keep writing in past tense. Maybe for some of you that's a confirmation you already know this person. If that isn't your case, maybe this will be something that happens later on in your connection. I really get the feeling that something about this person will just get on your nerves when you first meet. Like the way they talk or how they dress. Maybe the setting in which you meet will give you a wrong impression of this person. Especially if a lot of people are badmouthing them and spreading false rumors about them.

This person is a loner. They spend most of their time alone, either at work or in their personal life. They are very guarded and introverted. They barely leave their home unless it's very important. They may have a fear of crowds and enclosed spaces. However, when they are able to trust someone they are very kind and giving, a total opposite of what people may depict them as. They have a very healing presence that stems from all the hardships they faced over time. This person uses their own experience to help people heal and expand. They could be a therapist, a reiki practitioner, someone that uses alternative medicine like herbology, crystal healing and such.

They have a lot on their plate. They struggle with mental health issues and it isn't something they openly talk about with anyone. However, if this person sees someone going through hardships, they will be the first one to reach out and provide help and support. This person believes in the law of attraction and also in fate. They know when to pay attention to the details which could also explain why they are so succesful in life but people may not see that side of them and just belive that your FS has it easy because of their wealth, their background, their looks. When in reality, this person is the most hardworking individual you'll ever know. And when you get to see that side of them, you will really admire and respect them.

#just-a-ghost #pick a card #pac reading #tarot reading #spiritual pac #love pac #oracle cards #future spouse series #future spouse reading

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officialspec · 11 months ago

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can you pleeeeease post your dm sexuality/gender hcs on here.... 🥺 i don't have a twitter but i wanna know. it's like a pandora's box to me now i'm like scratching at the door. let me in

heres the link 2 the thread (mild spoilers btw) ill post a transcript under the cut for ppl who dont have twitter

first off i think laios relationship to sex is super removed for like 50 reasons without even getting into his actual sexuality

he grew up in a place with very repressed ideas about sex and has a lot of fear about asserting his presence in situations

his special interest takes precedent over any social interactions he has and the level of closeness he feels towards people

he has a hard time figuring out his feelings towards other people both bc hes autistic and bc he has freaky deviantart fetishes that make sex in his mind a very abstract concept <- this one is me projecting mostly

that aside, i feel like gender-wise hes attracted to ppl so infrequently it may as well be entirely case-by-case

the idea of him being gay appeals to me from the 'raised with traditional values he Does Not fit into/hasnt begun to question it yet' perspective, i lauve characters who put a lot of stock into performing a role thats expected of them and fail miserably for unknown (gay) reasons

from his perspective tho i dont think he would ever really label himself anything. hes going to pride parades in the shirt+shorts Ally Fit to clap for his friends

hes also 'cis by indifference' imo... i love tmasc laios hcs it just doesnt mesh w his personal history to me. i do think hes got some kind of therian gender thing going on (not trans or nb but a secret third thing) but i cant see him changing anything abt his appearance/pronouns to accommodate that post-canon. hes just doin his thang

falin is in a similar boat for gender. i LOOVE tfem falin but the village repression thing has been bugging at me so i dont think i subscribe to it anymore (canon purist sorry) BUT if u hold that hc i am clapping and cheering regardless

instead i was propagandised to a while back and i LOVEEE the idea that being fused w a male dragon and the residual traits she has after being revived have given her a type of gender euphoria she didnt realise she was missing. a little boygirl swagger if u will

sexuality-wise i also dont think she would care to label herself, shes a lesbian by virtue of only being interested in One woman and zero other people. without marcille i do think shes still exclusively attracted to women, and i like to imagine she might experiment around a bit during her travels post-canon (pre-relationship). hearing abt it might put marcille on the news though

marcille is very simple That is a transfem lesbian. she cant get pregnant, shes obsessed w being femme and all that combined w her half-tallman struggles to be seen as 'properly feminine' by elf standards reads very transfeminine to Me. also her bookboy crush REEKS of comphet its not subtle

i think a more comfortable marcy might have the space to experiment w being elf butch like her manga boys but thats mainly self indulgence for me. utena could have saved her

senshi is gay his whole thing is abt not being able to perform dwarven masculinity to a proper standard (soft hearted, not as strong or rugged as his peers) which is like gaycoding 101. also hes a bear. homosexuality be damned by boy can work a grill

adding onto this i rly think senshi got some type of euphoria from being an elf in the changeling chapters. he was feeling himself so much i think he was using it as an outlet to have fun being a little fem and fruity without needing to justify it. do u understand

i dont have any particular opinions abt him gender-wise beyond that. his bulge is an essential part of his character design but i also saw a transmasc senshi a couple days ago that made me nod my head thoughtfully so i could go either way

chilchuck is cis and bisexual this is just canon. not even just his old man crush on senshi altho i do think thats very funny but they put his ass on a cover themed like hes in a dating sim with all the men and women in the cast and then slapped it in front of a chapter called "bicorn". i simply cant pass up that kind of overt signaling. its so fucking funny what else is there to say truly

izu to ME is a transmasc aroace lesbian (this one has the least basis in canon i just know it to be true) shes a little genderfluid with it nd uses he/she i think. i like to imagine she consistently uses masculine personal pronouns to refer to herself either way tho (boku, ore)

i think izutsumis gender/sexuality is entirely secondary in priorities to her body dysphoria. she has a lot of learning and acceptance 2 do before that kind of self discovery is on the docket and in my mind eschewing gender on some level is part of that. get sillay

shuro is cishet but at least he feels bad about it. next listen listen to me i dont think he would ever actually examine this but i need u to put on ur tin foil hat with me for one second. i think estrogen could have saved her. i have more thoughts on this but im not gonna propagandise too much on this post just know that im right

kabru is a transmasc bisexual this is also practically text. his whole thing of being treated like a doll by milsiril to put in pretty dresses, plus i think it would be pretty easy for him to stealth in the west since tallmen are seen as inherently more masculine than elves

(i also think changing genders is just more common for elves. theyre androgynous enough that it wouldnt be hard and like who in their right miiiiind would be the same gender for 500 years. dwarves too)

i think he started presenting as male socially in the west but didnt need to consider medical transition until he moved to a more mixed culture where other races might see him as a woman

i dont have to explain the bisexual part. have u seen him

namari is a butch bisexual this is just canon straight up. shes not transmasc but i think the default settings for dwarven women is like 4 years of T regardless. shes a hit at all the local cruising spots despite her renfaire nerdisms i know this

and just bc im thinking abt em kiki and kaka are identical and kiki is tfem :} theyre both attracted to women but kaka is a sub so i forgive him

THATS ALL 4 NOW theres a lot of characters so i cant have thoughts abt all of them at once but i hope this was good. im right about everything forever as per usual

#ask #headcanons #passes out. my Mind #dunmesh

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lxvebun · 1 year ago

Text

flurry of colours

synopsis: asking the genshin boyfriends what color they see you as

content: Alhaitham/Kazuha/Wriothesley x gender neutral reader. Fluff! Use of nickname darling/dove. Wrio is pretty short I wasn't entirely sure how to write him😭. English is not my first language so i'm sorry for any mistakes♡

D*rk content blogs do not interact (*a)

Alhaitham

"It's not your problem if Kaveh's struggling with his color schemes, darling" he replies quickly, not even bothering to look up from the page in his book.

"Archons, Haitham, it's not like that. Just look at me and imagine what color I radiate :)

he sighs a little, closing the book but keeping his fingers between the pages. Even if he thinks it's a bit of a silly question, he does take a moment to let his eyes trace over you, shamelessly letting them linger on your lips too. for a second you think he's actually going to answer your question but then you see him failing to suppress a smirk and his gaze meets yours with an expression you can only describe as Are you serious?

"Humor me Alhaitham"

Alright, let me think.. he completely closes his book this time, placing it in front of him on his desk and rests his head on his hand

"Colors can actually invoke a lot of thoughts and impressions. Most people associate red with warmth, and passion, but also with danger or fear depending on the context. A lot of people view black as a masking color be it clothes to hide certain parts of yourself or the shadows in your nightmares, but you can also see it as a protective color as it doesn't reflect. Blue is usually related to the sea, the lighter tones with sunny mornings walking along the shore, darker tones of blue can relate to the deep cold unknown depth that's hidden from prying eyes......if I had to describe you a color..it would be green. Not necessarily because of the associations with it, wisdom, calmness, and hope. which do apply to you don't get me wrong, but green is my favorite color, and you're my favorite person. Simple as that. Now, care to read with me for a bit?

*he's so annoying but he does it so well. Bites him*

Kazuha and wrio under the cut♡

Kazuha

kazuha has been a bit gloomy as of lately. His usual flowery words have lost their petals, His leatherbound notebook has not made an appearance in a while, neither have the little poems he writes for you to wake up to, and his fingers are clean, not covered with his usual, and at this point, you believed to be permanent, ink stains. It's clear he's been going through the infamous writers block. something that most artist go through and also get out of but it's nonetheless an infuriating part of being an creative individual. But since Kazuha has made you his muse as he told you many many times before, who are you to not try and help inspire your lovely boyfriend.

It takes you a while of bringing him to random locations for sunset walks or stargazing and asking him random questions until one finally hits the spot. His eyes immediately lighting up as he turns to you with such a warm expression of love and adoration you're pretty sure your heart skipped a beat

"That's a very beautiful question, dove"

He takes a moment to think about it, eyes lovingly tracing over every little detail of you, the backlight of the sun, the glimmer of the waves shining in your eyes

"I don't think describing you as one color does you justice. You shift hues as softly and gently as the day shifts into night, and the sun makes place for the moon in the sky. But if I do have to say just one, I see hints of purple in you, but that could also be because the color reminds me of my hometown and everytime I look at you, my soul feels at home" He answers with a new found excitement in his voice

"Actually, maybe I can use this for a poem-"

*i'm projecting can you tell?*

Wriothesley

You often come down into the fortress to spend some time with him on his break. With both of you living on different levels of Fontaine, you'll take any chance you can get to be around him and even when it's not officially his break time, he could never say no to you....or tea time

That's why you're here now sitting on the edge of his desk as he hastily discared the paperwork to make room for the teapot and biscuits. As quickly as the tea flows, the conversation passes from deep and meaningful, romantic ones, to terrible jokes and banter as both of you just talk about whatever comes to mind.

So he doesn't raise an eyebrow when you ask him what colors remind him of you. it's quite endearing how he just goes along with whatever silly questions or requests you throw at him without making you feel embarrassed about it

"Probably between a pearlescent white and a warm honey yellow."

"Interesting answer...why?"

"the colours remind me of the sun and the moon, and living at the bottom of the ocean here in the fortress we don't have either of those of course. You're the closest thing I have to feeling the warmth of the sun on my skin or experiencing calm atmosphere of the moonlight. And to be honest I prefer you over the real thing♡"

Hes so cute *cries*

Thank you for reading angels!♡

#genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #wriothesely x reader #alhaitham fluff #alhaitham x reader #kazuha x reader #genshin impact x gn reader #wriothesley #wriothesley x reader #genshin x gender neutral reader #alhaitham x gender neutral reader #kazuha x gender neutral reader #genshin fluff

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skzimagines · 4 months ago

Note

Stray Kids ideal type, meaning appearance and personality as of 2024 🥺👉👈

Also looove your blog and work

Stray Kids astrology ideal type! I'm going to split this up into a 2 part series, just because they're going to be kind of long. Also,,, I am so sorry this took me so long to do 😫

We'll start with Chan and his Libra sun... He is a huge flirt, whether that be with friends or someone he just met. BUT he doesn't mean to be? So he would need a partner that could see past that. But with his scorpio moon and venus, he would hate it if his partner was flirtatious with anyone other than him... I know, drama. Veeerrryyyy possessive in nature, wants to own you in a kind of sense. Would be attracted to someone with issues going on with their personal life, because he's drawn to people that NEED him in any sort of way. Physically speaking.. he's probably into the dark tumblr aesthetic.. dark clothes, dark nails. Someone who's hard to read.

Minho... oh my sweet scorpio. I truly hope he finds someone that loves him for who he REALLY is. Because he hides a lot. and he deserves to be open with someone about every little thing and not be judged for it. He would want someone who matches his personality, someone who would love to travel with him, someone to help take care of his cats when he's not around to do so. Someone witty, smart, outgoing. He'd also be into the hard to read type of person. He'd want his partner to share their deepest secrets with him and him only. Also on the possessive side, and jealousy is something he would struggle with. He's someone to be very obsessed with the person he's crushing on or is with, but they would never know how obsessed he actually is. As for appearance, he wouldn't really care. He's goes for people he connect very well with. Personality is the deal breaker for him.

Changbin... Changbin is into the people who puts things foreword, someone who isn't afraid to speak their minds, someone who will stick up for the people they love forwardly. I see him with someone who compliments him well, someone who tells him every single day how handsome he is, how much they love him. The boy fishes for compliments... and you will see that shy, blushing binnie every time. He lives for it! I also believe he's into the mix of girly pop pink, calm, clean aesthetic and the leather jacket, musk, tomboy type as well.

Hyunjin... Soft boy, who's the hardest dom underneath it all. He'd want someone who looks mean on the outside but is the biggest sweetheart once you get to know them... Lee know is literally his ideal type, I'm telling you. Searches for a partner who will listen closely to his problems, and will always be there to wipe the tears, which do fall more often than not. I also think he would be attracted to the tomboy aesthetic but with a softer touch to it.

#hyunjin #bangchan #changbin #lee know #hyunjin astrology #hyunjin ideal type #bangchan astrology #bangchan ideal type #lee know astrology #lee know ideal type #changbin astrology #changbin ideal type #stray kids ideal type #stray kids astrology

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postersofleon · 10 months ago

Text

Honey Has Value

In Leon's first mission, everyone warned him about the merchants that come every once in a while during dangerous situations. Nobody knows them. But everyone trusts them enough. Even Krauser, who was very sensitive in whom to trust with his weaponry. The merchants are the most chaotic neutral people who would sell to any person who had enough gold or anything in value. During one of his missions, Leon finally saw one of the merchants.

content: smut

notes: pre resident evil four; afab fem!reader; he forgot to socialize thanks to working in the military; reader is pretty femme by wearing a black dress; sexual frustrations coming from leon; small mentions of rotting flesh, leon is an awkward flirt; guys, even though i write smut, i hate booktok, does that make sense or i'm giltching in the system. smallish smut, little story.

taglist: @argreion

Leon could believe in Umbrella's cruel experiments. He had seen these monsters who are kindly called bioweapons, and even though Leon isn't forced to fight against them. He sometimes saw the creatures they turned into, and that was enough for a young rookie cop to see. He then had to mistrust his own government for wanting to harm a young child. Leon panicked and immediately a blackmail was tied around his throat.

A perfect noose around him. A traumatized man can't go back to his old life. Leon had to help a girl he barely saw in the tragedy of Raccoon City.

All because of his stupid want to help people. He was sinking in this damn hole depression, and he wasn't even allowed to go to therapy. When he was excited to talk to Claire, she wasn't there because she was still searching her missing brother.

Leon was alone. Leon didn't even have time with Sherry.

He believed in all of these faults of the world. It was a nasty cruel world that could barely be saved. Leon didn't even save Sherry. That was thanks to Claire. In that night, he didn't save anyone, and he trusted a bad person who fell to her death. Every inch of Leon's body knew guilt, the disappointment of the world, and bioweapons.

But why couldn't Leon didn't believe in this random ass Merchant? Merchants sounded like scumbags and fake to the bone yet everyone in his section of soldiers swore up and down that they are real and good enough.

They only appear in missions. The government doesn't pay for them to help. And none of them are the same person over and over. One had a handsome man with a bow tie; another had an elder woman, and lastly, Krauser even said he had dealt with a pair of twins. That's what made Leon struggle to believe this was real.

None of these people were truly scared to show their faces, but they all had the same name of merchant.

They had no true agenda. No sense of good or bad.

Leon hoped to never see them in his own missions. He didn't care if they had helped them before, Leon wasn't interested in them no matter how much.

His mission was down south. He had to learn Spanish in case the issues came to his language, but he knew the main part of the mission. A couple of normal soldiers came here, and we were murdered by a couple infected by the T. Leon was the next best option.

And Leon came ready. If a merchant was going to be there, he'll ignore them, no matter who it is.

Once he entered the place, it was a lonely village that was nearby an Umbrella lab, so he had already concluded who was going to be here. His heart beaten fast when he saw a person infected by the T. A poor woman whose skin was rotted away. Leon killed her without a second doubt. Even if Leon had the cure in his hand, he wouldn't want to use it on her, especially with the heat of the brutal summer.

Not only was her skin rotted. There was hole in skull that he didn't even make.

"How unfortunate," Leon immediately turned to whom it belonged to, "Seeing death is always unforgivable." A woman with a black dress was behind a desk of items. Due to the circumstances, she was hauntingly beautiful with the death surrounding her. It took a moment for Leon to realize it. She is a merchant.

"Hi, stranger." She smiled politely at Leon.

"Hi." Leon said firmly.

She played with string of pearls around her neck, "I'll be helping you with.... your situations." She seemed so nonchalant, her voice was relaxed as if the danger could never harm her.

"Situations..." Leon looked around her store of items. She had almost everything in this little place, a small box with a strange symbol planted on the center. "I'm sure you are betting for to get into those situations." Leon muttered. But she shook her head. It was almost automatic.

"Goodness, no!" She exclaimed loudly. "My services are here to help you. To assist you." She placed her gloved hand between him and her. "May I? Free of charge."

There was a silence between them. Begrudgingly, Leon handed his gun to her, "Careful with it." He muttered.

She grabbed the gun, "SG-09 R. Quite impressive." She clocked it and checked the modifications in the gun. "Fast, strong, and made by Kendo." She pointed the gun towards a section and shot a glass bottle. "But I can make better. Especially with the control of the government." She broke up the gun and grabbed a small bottle of oil to ease up the details of gun. "Do I permission to change the glock?"

Leon nodded his head.

The merchant got into work, she brought out the small tools to work on the gun, and changed very small details of the gun. After a couple of short minutes, she twirled the gun back into place. "Here you go, stranger." The merchant handed the gun back to its owner.

Leon lifted the gun and noticed the differences. She didn't change the drastic differences of the poor gun, but it made it functional for the monsters. He pulled on the trigger and shot the a piece of wood. The gun shot faster.

She grabbed a rag and cleaned her gloved hands. "It's easy as they come." She smiled. Her fingers returned back to her pearls, dragging the details bit by bit. "I love helping the new."

Leon wished he was normal. His dumb mind entered cave man for like three seconds. Maybe it was the small praise he got from her or how the merchant spoke to him without belittling him. He felt his cock twitch, "Yeah, thanks." He awkwardly put his gun back to its holster.

He promised himself the less impossible thing ever. Leon was spending a lot of time with the merchant, he saw her how her knife formed small knick knacks from wood. "Look." The merchang leaned to show him. It was small wooden figure of him. Leon took in a sharp exhale.

"Nice." He whispered softly.

"I give them to the other merchants so they can sell them." The merchant smiled. Her painting was very gentle, every brush was made with love. "Why sell them?" Leon asked. "It's like discount. If you have this." She lifted a small shield-like charm, "You'll have an upgrade with any merchant."

"Oh, that's great." Leon eyed her face, "So, if another merchant sees it, they'll automatic give you that help."

The merchant smiled, "Exactly." She continued the paint and Leon was just looking at her, "So, what perks will I get if I buy my small keychain?" He whispered softly. The merchant sighed softly, "Mm, well, how about 30% off when I fixed that knife of yours."

Leon nodded his head as he continued to look.

As time passed and such, Leon did his job and then immediately went to her section to 'buy' stuff. All that time of bothering the merchant, he finally got what he wanted as she pumped his cock.

She was on her knees as she pumped his cock into her mouth, Leon's hips moved up, "Fuck." The merchant rubbed the red tip and sucked it gently. He needed this after so long. Leon's hands covered his face, his cheeks were red and he was ultra sensitive over everything. The merchant rubbed Leon's tip around her lips and left his pre cum around them.

He chewed on his lips trying to keep quiet in case an infected could find them. The merchant's hand pumped his length, "I do the first time free." She teased him. Her hand slide down his cock and massaged his balls. He didn't know if she spoke the truth, but he was willing to pay for this again. The merchant's tongue dragged against his shaft and kissed the tip. "Just fuck me. Please."

The merchant shook her head, "You'll need your energy for the fights." She looked at his cock and placed his needy self inside of her mouth. She gagged weakly, his hips weakly moved against the merchant's mouth. He needed to cum and go back to work. His hands traveled around his pecs and squeezed them, he noticed the merchant noticing those details. Leon blushed but didn't stop himself as he played with nipples.

Flicking them a bit trying to help the simulation. She bobbed her head faster and he groaned. "Fuck, fuck-" His cum erupted into the merchant's mouth and it slowly fell out, she licked the mess without an issue. Leon groaned loudly feel his body relax bit by bit. His eyes completely soften and gently caressed her face, "Mm, thank you."

When Leon was back on his feet, he felt her hands smoothing out the wrinkles of his shirt. He felt too easy, but he liked her touch.

As the sun set above him, the merchant waved politely a goodbye to Leon; He simply nodded his head, his legs were a bit weak, but he had to go back to his job.

The next time he was with the Merchant, he was between her dress. He licked her pussy, his hands opened her thighs to shove himself deeper. Her cunt was keeping him sane after the brutal fights, her hands grabbed his hair and pulled his straight blond hair. Leon growled weakly, "Please, I just need your cum." No extra steps, he wanted it. His tongue moved around her clit and once he heard the merchant's moan he focused on it more.

His fingers shoved inside of her pussy and pumped them in and out. His tongue licked the wetness that poured into his hand. His finger curled up and fucked her up. The merchant's legs squirmed around Leon. He licked up the pretty hole and removed his fingers again, her thighs clenched around his face as he fucked her with his tongue. Flicking it over and over, he pulled it out and sucked her clit. She groaned loudly, her legs opened a bit, and Leon kissed her thighs over and over. The merchant released, Leon's fingers rubbed gently her cunt and licked the mess.

He was thankful for the merchant's services.

#resident evil #leon kennedy #leon kennedy x reader #re4 leon

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astracora · 22 days ago

Text

Turning Point - Part 6

Characters: Poly!LADs x gn!mc

Warnings: Hurt/Comfort, Injuries, Angst, Loss of Arm, Lots of emotional struggle with disability, mentions for Zayne's backstory, very small Zayne foreseer mentions.

Word Count: 5281

Written: 14th January 2025

Notes: Pre-relationship with gn!MC with all LADs, with my personal pov of the game and lil headcanons littered in. Unnamed MC, but using my personal MC's basic appearance and adjusted backstory. I take some liberties with what the game offers me. Sorry to Zayne, but you break my heart (and the game punishes you so much, so I have to do a lil bit too). So this one took a while, because the active start of them having a conversation about Poly, actually busted my brain up for a little while. Especially cause you can't exactly have the real convo until the other participating (or not) party is there. I'm hoping my Caleb brainrot has left me alone enough that I can actually focus on this damned fic again without thinking about mr tall, dark and in need of a slap (affectionate... maybe). Anyway, have at ye! Enjoy (I hope!)!

Now Playing: Good Enough, By Lø Spirit

Masterlist AO3

<- Previous Next ->

He has had to adapt to many things, Zayne finds himself thinking on his morning run. He has lived his life in many roles, and with many surprises or struggles thrown at him to handle.

His time as a combat medic, taught him above all else, how to survive, and improvise. How to keep himself and others moving forwards. Even when the nightmares, and the grief of Mt Eternal haunted him.

His struggles to control his EVOL, taught him control. The values of a level head, ways to ease himself down to a steady crawl. He was a healer, he would not hurt anyone because he failed to keep himself in check. Even when he was called cold, or misunderstood as not having as warm a heart as a person can.

Leaving after injuring you with something he could not control, the goal to understand your heart more than anyone else could. The long nights of study, the lack of socialisation, the time spent pouring over books. Desperate for an answer. Taught him commitment and drive. To save you, to be the one who could pull you back from the edge. The person he cared most about in the world.

Leaving him isolated and tired, but closer to his goal.

Zayne has overcome every challenge handed to him, because he has to see his goal through.

He has to see the jasmine bloom.

So, he has experience dealing with things outside of his control and his knowledge. Of finding a way forwards. Surviving or excelling.

He likes to think the current series of events… well he's handling it.

Even if he is hitting the path a little harder with every step. Rushing through his usual route, like he's outrunning something. He's handling it.

"Z-Zayne!" Your call slows his feet, halts him. He looks back to see you bent over, breathing heavily, gasping.

Months away from training, had rusted you a little. Left you stumbling after where you originally could have overtaken him. The regret and irritation at himself bites, so he pushes it down.

Move forwards, always move forwards.

It is almost autopilot that takes him over when you're injured, or unwell. An instinct that pulls his body into routines to heal and ease. As he gets you to a bench to sit, and rest, he checks your heart.

"I'm" You gasp, pushing his hand gently away from where he is looking for your pulse, "Fine, just pushed too hard."

There's a moment where he debates ignoring you. You've lied to him that you're fine before. Haven't shared when you needed help. Have hidden injuries. Avoiding telling him the truth with things such as colds.

Then he thinks about that morning, putting his trainers on. Ignoring the overgrown crow on the sofa who was talking on his phone. He'd heard all of a few words, 'keep him quiet' and had decided it was better to be ignorant to whatever Sylus was up to… Even if part of him wanted to take you somewhere else. Even if his mind was constantly screaming, trying to process everything. Lemurians, the N109 Zone, an immortal prince…

"Zayne?" You stand behind him, old jogging clothes on, fiddling with the toggles on your hoodie.

He stands up to focus on you. Taking in the livening to your eyes, the health returning to your face. His smile is uncontrolled, a natural reaction to your presence. An unnerving feeling of losing his handle on the reins.

A fall with no net.

It is addicting and terrifying all in one, to realise how easily you cut through thorned walls of deadly vines, that keep him under hand.

"What is it?" He manages, straightening the hem of his shirt. Grounding himself, something solid beneath his fingers. It is not as stabilising as your hand, but it is all he can grab without overstepping too many boundaries. One's he's unsure you will rescind, or be pleased to even allow him access past.

If all he ever is, is the man who mends your heart, then he will carry that with him in his own, eternally. Even if it does not beat for him.

"I'm allowed to start exercising again, would it be alright if I joined you? I won't slow you down too much, I promise." You hesitate, stepping up to the door to him, watching as though he'll close it on you.

Wary, scared.

He remembers a child staring back at him much the same. Worried he did not care for them. Worried that they were taking time he would rather have put somewhere else.

Nervous to take his hand, so you took Caleb's instead.

His hand itches, the thorn wall is thick. He knows it will slice his hand open if he reaches through it. The pain would be worth it, just like every stab of his ice is worth the moments he protects your back.

So much wasted time, and he still watches it waste. Still sees moments pass him, where he should be there. Watching, helping, caring.

He feels like a coward, however, because he's too scared to take the step. To walk through the thorned wall… because his pain means little…

Yours, however, he wishes to never cause again.

So he simply nods, pushing down the deep pit of yearning and desperation that wants him to show you every single scar, to allow your passage behind him.

He pulls his hand away from your wrist, assenting with your assurance that you're fine. But he cannot settle, not truly, so he tells you to wait. To sit, and breathe, and he leaves to find a place to buy you a drink.

The park he runs is a quiet place this early, he does not have to worry about the noise, or the crowds. He can run, and he can breathe and he can centre himself. He can grasp his own mind in his hands, and wrangle it. Every morning, the same process. Out, run, breathe, work, research, leave. Repeat.

He has lived his life in a strict routine that he does not break. Not until you.

It has broken even more with the night he turned up to your door, met the other three men in your life, and stitched your open wounds.

It is like being woken with ice cold water in your face, or to the sound of the walls falling down around you. Trembling the foundations.

What was once an absent acceptance of the possible future he could see, has become a solid path he can watch you walking down. Leaving someone who can only hurt you behind. In favour of those who do not have to fight every part of their soul to leave scars.

It is not grief, not really, to watch a future you never believed you could have, disappear.

It's a natural progression of time. The daylight melting soft snowflakes. It is the inevitable.

Like you believe the waiting bomb in your chest is. Unavoidable. He hopes to overturn such a thing, to reach through the thorns long enough to watch your future strengthen into something bright and blinding. Even if they shut afterwards. An inescapable prison, frozen over and forgotten.

His life is a tool to help others, to help you. He has watched his parents follow that path, he has no problems watching himself do so…

Even though they have each other, and even though he yearns to have you.

The cold acceptance is an easy feeling to hold. He's held it for years.

When Zayne returns to you, a bottle of water in hand, he watches your nose wrinkle. "It's cold, and all I get is some water."

He feels the sigh escape him, long suffering, used to the cavalier way you handle your health. Like it doesn't matter, but as you stick your tongue out at him, metal fingers brushing his as you take the bottle from him, he cannot help but feel the warmth of a smile that you bring out with ease.

"I'm not supplying your caffeine addiction."

"I help supply your sugar problem." You pout and sniff, turning your head away as you gulp down long drafts. The sweat beading on your forehead draws his hand.

He absently watches himself place his hand there, the chill of his skin glittering in snowflakes, as he eases the heat from your face.

It is like watching through a hazy glass wall. His fingers twitching against heated skin, the way your eyes turn to his, wide before they narrow, head tilting into his touch as the ice settles over you.

You feel too warm, and his other hand joins the first, skirting over cheeks, seeking out the heat. Drifting over your neck, to the pulse point. It skips under gentle fingers, and his fingers twitch. Just a little. Right over where your heart thrums.

Its odd beat and uneven rhythm, singing in a way he knows better than any other.

When you jump, at the feeling of the ice intensifying against your sensitive skin, he pulls back. Quick, schooling his expression. He isn't sure what his face speaks, but he knows you observe him too easily for it to be left in the open.

"Cooler?" He manages, forced through a tight throat and skin that feels like it burns where he touched you. There is a voice in his mind that urges him to reach out again, to hold your face in his hands and revel in the heat you bring to skin too often torn by cold.

A voice that often reminds him that he's happier to be cold, when he can warm himself at your fire.

He watches your throat work, like you're swallowing down something. He wonders, for a moment, if it's a complaint at his casual contact. A boundary he has overstepped. Before he watches your lip quirk, small smile coming through, as small and crooked as he remembers from childhood, but with sparkling eyes. "Much better, thank you Zayne."

Zayne can feel his routine falling out of his hands, everyday he spends with you, everyday in your apartment with men he does not really know.

He can feel the lack of control, the feeling of not knowing what to expect every day.

He watches the time he should spend running, chased away like the sun chases shadow. He watches you look out, as people enter the park. Families, dog walkers, those alone and with others.

The sun hits the side of your face, catching on a snowflake, melting on the tip of your nose. Showing him glittering mismatched eyes, and the teeth peeking out as you smile.

He leans back next to you, and watches the people pass.

"Gran used to bring me here." You speak, watching an old lady walking with her grandson. He pulls her forwards, and then stumbles, before the woman rights him. Tuts, pokes his nose, and they walk again. "Too much energy, I kept wearing her out. So she'd bring me so I could just… run. Caleb would try to keep up and couldn't."

Zayne thinks about what little time he did get to spend with you, he thinks about being dragged into every game you wanted to play, the excitement at everything new you found. He also remembers far too many containers full of bugs that you shoved in his face to look at. He remembers that you didn't always used to be scared.

Worried about breathing too much. Worried about how you spoke, how you acted. Worried about being too weak.

The day you learned about your heart, he knows you changed. He can see it still, in every time you brush off his concerns at the hospital, at the way you laugh at things you should hurt over. He can see it in how you don't stop, because if you stop, you flounder. You think. You start to slip.

He thinks about every single time you tell him it's not a problem. That you're fine.

It's a lie about your body… it's a lie about your heart.

He's watched so much of you crumble, and break, making yourself into a weapon useful to others. He's had to watch as you rush into battle, not able to follow, not able to help.

He has his own role, his own place, more people he has to save.

It does not make watching you leave any easier. It does not make him stop wanting to follow.

He is relieved for your partner, Xavier, knowing someone is there in most of your missions. Ready to stand at your back. Even if the… time traveling prince, he reminds himself, does not seem to care about his own health.

He's spent so long watching as you refused to lean on others, scared to seek out help in case they found you too much work, and can see you struggling with the same thoughts with him.

With all four of them. Demanding you lean, does little, you simply laugh and tell him it is not a problem. 'If I get really hurt you'll see me, don't worry.' You've said.

It's a lie though, you didn't come to him when you were injured. The hospital did not inform him that you almost died. He did not know about the extent of what had been done to you, until you told him.

Until he broke through the boundaries of what a doctor should do, to find his way to your side, to look at every injury for himself.

He won't just be handed answers, and he's in no better spot than the other three. Standing at your door, seeking you out when your heart fractures on you, and you shut yourself away in pain you can't process. Feelings you don't understand.

Zayne knows when his feelings waver on the edge, unable to be grasped, hard to process or comprehend. He knows the negative, a haunting nightmare of regrets that do not leave him to rest, and he knows the positive, when his hands help soothe those who need his help.

He knows the name of one very distinct feeling, that is familiar and as dangerous as he can imagine. Something that ripples through every strand of control he demands to keep the cruelty of ice at bay.

He can place that feeling to the eyes that sparkle as you people watch, as you smile at a dog that trots past. As you turn to him, shackles around your body fallen away. Even for a moment.

When the feeling settles in his chest, and cuts a hole through the wall of thorns so that he can see out.

"We're not meant to be alone, I think places like this remind me of that."

You pull him from his thoughts, looking over at him with warm eyes, with your heart so visible in the gaze you offer, that his skips.

"I think I love it here."

He wants to tell you that he does too, because this moment, with your presence next to him, and the view of the world around him… he wishes was the future he could grasp with his hands.

Without the spear of ice.

—---

Zayne thinks he is handling this situation. He's sure of it.

Except every day gets a little harder.

It is the loud noises he's not used to from companions he isn't used to having.

It is the changes to his routine, and though he knows they are necessary, he feels fractured.

Out of control.

It is seeing those around him, moving forwards through a wall that he can't find the door for.

It's the day he is sat in the living room working, while Rafayel and Sylus have yet another argument, that he feels it rippling out.

You have left with Tara, promising you're ready. That it'll be alright.

He had watched the hesitation in everyone's eyes, before you had left.

It was the feeling he knows well, that every day you walk through that door, you may not come back.

Zayne does not want you to be confined to harsh walls. You are you, when you are living. Not just existing.

Xavier is lying on the sofa next to him, curled around a rabbit plushie you own.

He finds himself wondering why they all stay, in this space, when you're not here. Coming and going at will, but Xavier's apartment is above, and yet he stays here, in the spaces you have shaped.

Rafayel complains for the lack of beach, but he still walks around the place smiling, peeking at all of the things you own.

Sylus will hit his head on frames or cabinets, but he scoffed when you had suggested he should stay in the N109 Zone, out of concern.

Zayne could return to his space, but the space where you are is warm. Even if his routines have changed, and left him adrift.

It is as he watches the Lemurian fight with the Criminal, wondering at how you even met them, that he abandons his work… another action he could never have done, until meeting you.

"How long have you known them, Rafayel?"

It's a question that lurks at the edges of his mind, one that he does not ask because he worries for the answer and the boundary.

But the boundaries are fracturing, and the thorns are escaping, to rip through every day he does not hold to the strict order that he has set for himself.

The argument, if it can be called that when Sylus gains great joy from each of Rafayel's barbs, stops.

Eyes focus on him, and he vaguely can tell the sleeping prince has woken, barely looking up but aware.

Rafayel turns away, looking over at his canvas, "A while. Long enough for fish to learn to walk."

It's not an answer, not really. It feels more like evasion, like the way you back away from concern over your health, while still showing more than he thinks you notice.

It's the pain flickering through his eyes for a second, that Zayne has seen in family of grieving patients.

He doesn't want to poke at open wounds, at the cause of Rafayel's pain, that comes out into art you've shown him photos of.

Xavier mumbles something into his pillow, but when he receives only silence, he lifts his head, barely, to try again.

"Aren't you a walking fish?"

Rafayel laughs, a sharp bark rather than the kind Zayne has heard with you, "I learned to walk for cutie."

The prince shrugs in response and goes back to his pillow, but Zayne catches the sharp blue eyes. A question he's decided not to answer.

It's nothing he can learn without asking, and every man in this room holds things they won't share. Not with you, and not with Zayne.

He thinks of the ice spearing your chest.

Even him.

He instead asks something he hopes is easier, "What about you Xavier? You've worked with them for a while, have you not?"

He turns his head against the rabbit plushie, and peers at Zayne through silver bangs. Stares at him for a long time. Zayne does not feel fear at Sylus, the man doesn't actively harm unless necessary, 'violence should be used strategically', he's heard the man say when you try to throw something at him.

He sometimes finds Rafayel unsettling, at moments when the moon catches his eyes and they gleam like a deep sea beast. Yet he also doesn't think there's cause to watch his back… he thinks he can be believed to be moral enough to be certain of that.

Sometimes Xavier has a sharp look in his eyes, that feels like a blade cutting through the air. It is not actively harmful, he makes no means to hurt anyone that you care for, but it is like years have sharpened him down. To a point where he's as familiar with ice as Zayne is.

The look softens though, into his usual starry blue, "I came back to find them again." It's not a number, but Zayne can calculate it in his head. Hundreds of years searching, thinking and hoping.

It is one of those answers that unsettles him. Reminds him how at odds he feels surrounded by people so different to him. A man, amongst what amount to legends.

"You didn't ask me, Doctor." Sylus hums, twirling a knife around his fingers, the blade cuts through the air. It should look like a threat… but Zayne's learned the man has a leash he holds for you. Even if you cannot see it.

"I was getting there." He barely stops himself from rolling his eyes, exasperation sinking into his bones. He understands why Sylus and Rafayel fight… even if he keeps himself level enough to not bite back. It is not worth the bite of ice in return. "So?"

"I didn't hear a question."

This time he rubs at the space between his eyes.

"Do you have any friends, crow? Or does everyone find you this annoying?"

"Well now fish, I was giving you the affectionate package, there are no refunds."

"Can it be binned?" Xavier grumbles from the side.

"It's also only disposable in certain places, for the environment, you see."

Zayne thinks he hears the prince huff a laugh, but his face buries back into the pillow.

"How long?"

Sylus doesn't answer, but he leans back in his chair, one red eye flashing at Zayne for a moment, before he laughs. It is harsh, and biting, and his hackles raise. Leaning away with his laptop pushed forward. "You're trying to puzzle us out. Judge if your beloved patient is safe with us."

"I don't know-"

"Don't bother lying, it wastes all of our time. Not physically though, mhm?"

It's a cool hand down his back, even icier than his own. Like it's ready to tighten around his spine.

He has misjudged the criminal, as the red eye glows, and he leans further forward. "So Doctor, what is it you really want to know?"

Zayne isn't used to losing control. He has held it tight, kept it close. A protector as much as a punishment. His control slips, escaping in a haze of red, "Do you love them?"

Xavier's sword is extended at Sylus when the red filters away. Sharp blue and glowing light, who raises his hands calmly and leans back, "Calm down prince, just saving us time."

He gasps, the ice spreading over his hands, crawling up his arms. A hand is placed near him, a tiny flame extended as Rafayel eases the chill away. Slowly and carefully, it is not a balm to a wound like your resonance is. But it is welcome. He manages a thank you, chokes out, reigning it back. The man doesn't respond, shrugs, but his cheeks colour. As though helping brings great embarrassment.

"What did you do?"

"Just drew out some inner thoughts. If we'd have stayed as we were, he would have kept leading us around twenty questions. I'm a busy man."

"You spent three hours yesterday trying to teach that damn crow of yours how to sing happy birthday."

"He'll need it when Kitten gains a year."

"I'm fine." Zayne manages, easing away from the flame in Rafayel's palm as he wrestles everything back to its proper place. Back to where it should be. Back to where he should be. "Do not do that again."

He's surprised that Sylus tilts his head, looking down at his hands, a flicker of something in his eyes, "Provided it's not necessary, you have my word."

"Necessary?" Xavier scoffs, but settles back on the sofa, next to Zayne.

For a second, Zayne thinks of a knight, not a prince. But the thought is so embarrassing to hold in his head, that he pushes it down. He watches as the man brings his plushie back into his lap, but this time he does not slumber. Simply keeps watch.

Rafayel stays nearby, leaning back, but Zayne notices the way his eyes flicker down at Zayne's hands and away.

He is dangerous. To more than you. He cannot forget that for a moment.

"You want to know if we love them, why?"

It's not a question Zayne can answer. It's the kind of question that makes him want to bury himself in those thorns. If he affirms the thoughts in his mind, he makes them a reality he has to face.

Because he knows he can't?

Because he wants to…

Because he isn't sure where to go from here, with people who have crossed oceans and space for you.

Because he is out of control… and inadequate in all the ways that matter.

"Let's try a different question, how would you respond to a yes? Yes I do adore them, yes I do love them."

It is phrased like a rhetorical, but there's flames in the man's eyes. Like a dragon who has laid claim to a hoard. Like to even think to lie about such a thing, would hurt more than Xavier's sword in his chest.

"I-" What would he do? He has long accepted you following a path away from him, because your happiness is worth it. Knowing he can never hurt you again, is all he wants.

He can be your doctor. Just your doctor. Caring for your heart in at least one way.

"People like you really are interesting, Doctor. Shackles of your own making, keeping you standing where you think you should be. The kind of people that when pushed enough, snap." He can tell there's some amusement in the observation, like the process of pushing him would bring entertainment to the crime lord's life.

Zayne wants to rebuff him, to snap, that it's not his making… he thinks. He's not sure why he thinks it though. Still those scarlet eyes soften, into molten pools and he sighs, "You and kitten are similar. Putting yourselves into boxes that you can't leave. Scared to step outside and find you don't have a place."

The knife spins again, flipped up and caught by the blade between deft fingers, fearless at the idea of being nicked. "You should learn to step outside the box."

"Real cryptic, crow. I'm sure your advice column goes down great."

"It's not that easy." Xavier adds, looking over, "Hedonist." Sylus shrugs and doesn't debate it, whether he agrees with the label or not, Zayne isn't sure. "We're here, it's complicated."

"Is it?"

The response gives the prince pause. It's the surety. Like Sylus has no question for the path of his life.

Like he knows it will always lead to you, and beyond.

"Kitten doesn't run from me, unless they're hurting and nursing their wounds. They care for me, even if they don't have the words for the feeling. So I will be here, until they change their mind. No one else's presence stops or hinders that for me. I may be greedy, but I am not foolish. You do not take from their life, you add to it. To remove you, is to remove parts of them."

Rafayel looks away, "We shouldn't talk about this without them."

"You wish to spring this on them? When we have not discussed it ourselves? 'Ah, kitten, you're here. Pick a lover.'"

There's a growl in the back of the lemurian's throat, and as he leans forward, his hand catches on the side. Knocking a plate off, spilling the macarons Zayne had long forgotten. He catches it in hand, ice sticking it before it can spill contents onto the carpet.

Rafayel stops, looking over at Zayne, the anger trembling down into frustration before guilt takes its hold. He doesn't speak, just offers over one of the sweet treats quietly before Rafayel can speak.

He looks at it momentarily, cheeks flushing, then back at Zayne, and stuffs it into his mouth. He attempts to mumble a response, Zayne assumes a thanks, but it is mostly sprayed out with crumbs.

The man's strain gives Zayne some buoyancy. A grounding place. He is better at speaking for others, than for himself. "So you don't care about our presence?"

"Do you?"

It's… an odd question. Zayne has felt jealousy, he thinks. He has felt it towards these men when they have seemed the future you will walk towards.

He also thinks about days spent with all of you in one room, eating, arguing and laughing.

He thinks about the routine he cannot handle, the shaking to his foundations.

The warm heat of a lemurian's flame, and the sharp glow of a knight's blade.

He thinks about the nature of loneliness. Of fearing his hands can hurt.

"No." Is his honest answer, because he does not hate this place, with these people. He does not dislike the laughter in the room, or the sweets he has been made by the criminal staring at him with garnet eyes. He does not want to leave, even when you are not here. Eased by the space of you, and learning to be comfortable in their presence.

He has been isolated for a while, and while your presence makes it softer, he is eased to not face days alone. To come home to food, he does not have to force his tired body to cook, and people who learn his preferences.

Even if they often seem to be learning boundaries, first.

The shackles, as Sylus put them, are sturdy though. Heavier than anything else he will ever carry. Weighted by guilt and fears that cannot be alleviated in one night.

He wonders, absently, and hopefully, if not walking the path alone, will mean he can walk it easier with you.

That maybe it allows him to care for your heart in all the ways that matter.

Xavier leans back against the sofa, the movement shaking him, and yawns. His head drooping for a moment against Zayne's shoulder, before he slumps back to the other side. Back to his arms wrapped around his favourite plushie. "I like the meals." He mumbles, before he begins to snore softly.

"Should we worry that he's that easily won over by hotpot?"

Zayne retrieves the blanket over the arm of the sofa, to lay over the hunter. "I wonder if it was that easy."

"What about you fish?"

Rafayel turns his head away, conjuring a flame in his hand, that turns into a fish. He watches it flicker, dance, before it swims around his arm. "I've lost them too many times." Zayne feels the weight of his grief then, the pain that pulls through. The ones that feel familiar. "If it means never losing them or being alone again…" The fish dissipates, but not before swimming in a loop, and twirling through the air between them all. "I guess I don't hate you all."

"What a compliment, I'm about to swoon, fish."

"Except for you, stupid crow."

"Well, great alliances are never built in a day."

He looks down at his hands, thinking about the ice and the thorns. The future he can't grasp. He thinks about you watching people on the park bench.

'We're not meant to be alone.'

He isn't sure if this is what you mean, but maybe, one day, when they're ready to talk, and you are ready to hear… it will be.

If you seek him out, none of them, one of the others, or all of them. He will accept, because he knows you care, and that will never be called into question.

Even though, as the crow and the fish begin to whisper insults at each other, he thinks that alliance will take far longer.

#zayne #zayne x reader #rafayel #rafayel x reader #xavier #xavier x reader #sylus #sylus x reader #love and deepspace #lnds #lads #wonder writes #lads x reader #Zayne lads #rafayel lads #Xavier lads #Sylus lads #lads x mc #poly!lads

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aakaneeee · 3 months ago

Text

Round 7 was.. definetly intense and I have many thoughts about it, so I did a whole analysis.. yes it's finally here!

Time to start :3 (I will mostly try to make this coherent and chronologically correct, I might fail though! because we know how freaky i can get when it comes to Luka)

without further ado, let's get into it!

tws: drug use, violence, blood, overall quite gore-ish;

I. ROUND 7

Round 7 starts with a low intro, sung first by Till, Luka following. Till has his energy back, or atleast part of it. Luka, as always, has his perfect voice, but he seems to be a little more expressive this time, as if he's enjoying the performance, just like the lyrics suggest. Everything goes seemingly smooth, and they receive holographic instruments that almost seem to parallel eachother: Till, an electric guitar, and Luka, a violin. And yet, as the second pre-chorus emerges, Luka approaches Till, putting his hands around his neck, a cruel reminder of Ivan. He is... dizzy, to say the least, even getting a nosebleed, but he doesn't stop singing until the very end, even though images of the one he's been taunted with appear on the screen behind them. His eyes seem to light up when he sees a familiar figure in the crowd, Mizi, somehow remembering her even with her hair completely different, veiled, and between millions of aliens. He reaches out, and Luka is obviously at least annoyed at this, either mad that his trick didn't work, or that Till destroyed a perfect performance. Even so, it's too late for Till: Right before getting a hold of Mizi's hand, he is shot in the neck, falling down. Mizi is.. devastated. A flashback of them as kids plays, with a xylophone instrumental. Then, the camera cuts back, from a happy, smiling Mizi, to one crying over Till's soon-to-be corpse. In his last moments, she takes his hair out of his face and cups it. He tries to caress her hand, and then his arm falls next to him as the light fades from his eyes, destined to look into the distance forever. The text "LUKA WIN" flashes on the screen, but even the double-winner is too distracted to care, as in a safe distance, yet right in front of him, is an injured Hyuna, crouched forward, without her usual, characteristic confidence. They stare blankly at eachother as the screen shows new text: SPECIAL GUESTS, paired with photos of a grieving Mizi and a shocked, in pain Hyuna. We are shown Luka advancing as the winner, the last one left, supposedly, and everything goes black.

II. LUKA

(I will have a lot to say for the both of them, unsurprisingly, but I feel like Luka is still a little bit in the lead... again. who is surprised)

From the first frames we see him in, his clothes are obviously more revealing that in previous rounds (using plural since we have seen part of his Round 4 outfit in the intro of ROMH), using not only the usual open back, but also a huge v-cut showing his chest, and his hip open, specifically where his branding is. I imagine Heperu would've chosen this to show off that it's his pet. Not only that, but his surgery scars are also shown off. I suppose it might be something to brag about here? Maintaining a pet human is probably already really expensive, so it's a differentiation of class if they also afford to have surgeries? I see it as probable. When he begins singing, we see something new. He's a lot more expressive, and it carries through the whole round. Not only that, but when his first high note reaches, he almost crouches down forward, as if he was struggling with it (even though he had more difficult notes in round 5.) Personally, for me, I don't think he was going to use his 'technique' from the start. Some may argue that it's his usual, but he got the biggest score in Alien Stage history in round 4 (I may be mistaken) against Durian, and Durian had no dead loved one that Luka could've used against... him? (I'm still confused about Durian, Acorn and.. Tortilla.😭) So he's obviously insanely talented and only uses it when he feels a threat. Most of Luka's actions in Round 7 felt risky, unplanned, and decided on the moment, which really is unlike him. This feels, like one of my previous posts say, like he was drugged, just like Till. In his daze, maybe he considered that Till would stop singing, or maybe, not even sing at all, and that he'll have an easy opponent. But no, Till proved strong, and then, it came to the next possible way he could 100% win: disorienting him. A thing others have pointed out.. Luka's fingers are probably very cold, and it mightve reminded Till that Ivan is a corpse now. One of the most cruel frames of an already very cruel series was, atleast for me, shown in this video: Luka holding in his laugh after his 'plan' (since, as i already said, i dont think it was actually planned) works. For me, it's another piece of proof that he wasn't in his right mind, the carefully built facade of his wouldn't have just broken by his own will. But, even though he could swear it worked, Till doesn't stop singing. Sure, he's dizzy, dazed, but he still is singing. Shock only comes again when Till sees Mizi in the crowd, and anger, or atleast annoyance, is easily readable on Luka's face. He even pauses singing, looking at Till reaching out for his God, always unattainable, now in the reach of his fingers, in a position I could describe as hesitant, confused. Even so, he gets a win as Till gets shot in the neck. Unfortunately, he doesn't have time to revel in the victory, as he watches in shock, as 'the love of his life' appears in front of him, yet at a safe distance, injured. They stare at eachother, but it's different, it wasn't a blank gaze like in Round 5, it feels a lot more vulnerable.

I love how we've been shown past Luka's empty shell this round. Seeing him actually expressing himself, seemingly taking immense pleasure, almost in an euphoric, naive way, in the round around him. There is no way he genuinely enjoys it, or would've enjoyed it without.. exterior measures. We've seen him reacting to cameras around him in Sweet Dream. We can only imagine that was his truly 'sober' state. As I said, it's really amazing how we can see a more candid version of him.

III. TILL

From the start, it seems like Till has regained his spirit back. He's definetly more energetic than in Round 6, his hair is slightly messy again. His outfit, just like Luka's, is more revealing, but his branding has always been visible, unlike his opponent's. He is doing surprisingly well, not going down without a fight, maybe not going down at all! (I love being cruel) He's singing his heart out, every lyric he says showing desperation. And even though he was going so well, everything has an end. Because his declining mental state goes even more downhill as Luka acts like the freshly deceased Ivan, who left him with so many questions and dillemas. It feels like everything is crowding up on him, the huge stage feeling like a small box. His nose starts bleeding, and just as he was about to faint... He sees the love of his life, Mizi, in the crowd. She's reaching out to him. She's there to save him. He reaches towards her in happiness... Except he gets shot right before it. Mizi is finally reaching to him, right how he imagined when he felt like dying, after singing in that damned club. But just as you can't touch your own imagination, you can't touch a God.

Mizi is, and always will be unattainable. The moment he tried to touch her, the Universe is against him, once again. When he wanted to approach her, a powerful light engulfed him. When he died, it was back to pitch dark. In the flashback, it's implied that Till tried to escape, or atleast went against the rules, togheter with Mizi. They seem to be very close, as Mizi trusts him enough to hide, and bury her head into him. It feels affectionate, familiar, something Till holds onto, because he probably considers it one of his best memories. But nothing lasts. From a smiling, happy Mizi, it pans to the new her, now crying over Till, who was taking his last breaths. She gently brushes his hair out of his face, her hand holding it. In his last moments, atleast, he got what he wanted: Mizi's gaze on him, only on him, and just as always, he can't say anything to her. He just lightly chuckles, as his eyes lose light, and his arm falls next to him.

IV. IVAN

His intention was to make Till hate him. That's why he kissed him. He wanted to be forgotten. He already thought Till didn't care that much about him, so surely his actions would make him hate him? Wrong. Ivan was never Till's ray of hope. He was aware of it: Till only had eyes for Mizi. And yet, his death wasn't forgettable, like he thought. He used to mock Sua for her plan, saying that she'll only become trauma, and ironically, he did the exact same thing. Till sees Mizi as pure light, a goddess. Yet, he remembers Ivan in a shaky manner, a dark red veil over the flashback of the kiss. Mizi was his hope, and Ivan was his misery. Unfortunately, Ivan didn't realize this, considering himself to not be grief, but rather, nothing for Till. Oh, how wrong he was.

V. HYUNA

I really like the idea that the Patreon gave us. Its good to be confirmed that Hyuna, just like the others, is truly human, and by that I mean, flawed. Maybe I am interpreting it wrong, but from what my brain cooked up, she was.. somewhat willing to sacrifice a life (either Till or Luka) for the sake of humanity. (again, I might be wrong) We see another side to her in Round 7. She grabs Mizi and looks at her in a pleading way. She knows she's asking of her to see another of her friends die. Even so, she thinks it's better. I'm really curious about what she was doing on stage. Did she go after Mizi, because she saw she might've gotten caught again? Maybe.. she thought that Mizi was actually going to get Till, and she wanted to save Luka, too? You can never know.

VI. MIZI

First of all, she is still naive, which is so on brand for her. She went into a rescue mission, alone, with no weapons except for a smoke grenade. She still doesn't know what she has to do, and it's obvious. It seems like she took another route from Hyuna, who came up on the stage, while Mizi mixed with the crowd. Even so, I'm grateful that in his last moments, Mizi let Till rest. It was such an honest scene and I adored it. What I didn't adore was the parallels between her leaning over Tills body in Round 7, and her leaning over Sua's body in Round 1.

VII. PARALLELS

1. Till reaching towards Mizi, both in his hallucinations, and right before his death, where she still remains untouchable.

2. "The dark crimson air embraces us" -> "In your place, there's only blood and cold air left" (Black Sorrow) + "Lost in forever's embrace" (CURE)

3. Mizi leaning over Sua's body (Round 1) and Mizi leaning over Till's body (Round 7)

4. "In a blink gone!", sang by Till, in this, the visuals parallel his Birthday reveal art.

5. Luka raising his hands to his face, parallels Ivan tracing his hands up his microphone (they even have the same timing from what I've seen).

6. Mizi looking at Till from her capsule in Round 2, with Mizi looking at Till through the screen during Round 7.

7. Mizi throwing the grenade and Till breaking Freddie in Round 2.

8. Luka's hands on Till's neck are a 'gentler' version of Ivan choking Till, so aliens wouldn't consider it as violence.

9. Luka and Hyuna looking at eachother in Round 5 and Luka and Hyuna looking at eachother at the end of Round 7.

10. The way Luka pulls Till's lip down reminds me of that one freaky Luka image..

VIII. LYRIC ANALYSIS

Blink Gone works for all characters, in my opinion. Every one of them lost something, in just a blink.

"The clock goes tick-tock, tick-tock" I can only imagine this referring to the fact that Till's life is soon to coming to an end.

Till sings the more pessimistic lyrics, while Luka sings the ones about forgetting what's in the past and enjoying the moment. As much as he could be taunting Till, he is, in a way, also reassuring himself. To forget everything: perhaps Hyuna. Hyunwoo's death. And not only these, but the experiments, surgeries, punishments he's been through. On this specific stage, he feels like he's truly alive.

As I've mentioned before: "The dark crimson air embraces us" -> "In your place, there's only blood and cold air left" (Black Sorrow) + "Lost in forever's embrace" (CURE).

IX. DISPELLING SOME THEORIES.

1. Till's microphone was closed.

Personally, when I first saw this... I was a bit.. yeah... I know this sounds rude, but I was a little bit startled when I saw how many people agreed😭 The light on Till's microphone is a heartbeat tracker, proven to be right by the fact it turned green when he saw Mizi. Even if it was closed, a microphone doesn't make you sound better. He wouldn't have been heard, which he was, so obviously, it wasn't closed.

2. The competition was rigged in Luka's favor.

I dont personally agree with this, especially considering the aliens' nature. They don't care about humans. I don't imagine them wanting the same winner twice. Personally, I find it more like them to rig it in Till's favor. Imagine: he won his first two round by external factors, a rookie, yet a musical genius, defeating a past winner. Doesn't that sound more like something they could market? This is my opinion, but I can't think about them rigging it in Luka's favor. (yes I made a whole rubric just for 2 theories that kind of..somewhat. annoy me)

X. MY THEORIES (This is MOSTLY incoherent)

First of all, I am sure that something BIG will happen next. They said Round 6 is only the half of ALIEN STAGE, so, without counting Sweet Dream, there should be 6 more videos. Minus round 7, five. Hyuna vs Mizi and then whoever wins versus Luka are only two, so there's no way that's everything thats going to happen. I find it really interesting that were going to have 5 videos with only 3 (SUPPOSEDLY) alive characters. I'm not sure about the theory of "they are still alive", since Vivimeng aren't really.. known for that. I'm quite 50/50 on it. I can't believe we went from "only Sua will die" to "Everyone will die"😭 Thats what I call development. Anyways, I'm just as excited as ever for what's next!

XI. CONCLUSION + MY OPINION

Honestly, I ADORED Round 7. It was so beautiful and gorgeous and deep and I simply love it. Im going to sound like a gatekeeper, or rude, but I'm quite dissapointed in the people that genuinely are starting to harass Luka fans, to say they hated Round 7, to hate on Vivimeng for the decision they made, saying that they destroyed it and that there's no satisfactory ending to it now.. MAYBE I'm just lucky and my favourite character is Luka, so I haven't felt the grief of losing my favourite yet, but even if I did, I wouldn't start blaming the AMAZING creators that work so hard. If you're curious, yes, as a Luka fan, I've been told off, I've been told I'm a horrible person, and it's only been 2 days, which is insane to me. There is just so much more about him than "ooh he's a manipulator!" again, I'm gonna sound extremely rude... I love that there are a lot of fans that came during Round 6, but I feel like the people 'leaving' the fandom right now are those same fans. maybe that's just me and I'm just angry at what's happening right now😭

I don't want to offend anyone, these are just my opinions, please take everything I said with a grain of salt!

( @cherry-blossom-sword80 here it is!! tagging some other people I'd like to see this :3 @verdantlights @sotogalmo @rockwgooglyeyes )

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riririnnnn · 28 days ago

Text

To know that Sae doesn't think he is having any kind of fight with Rin and he, in fact, watches BLTV too makes me think that this post of mine wasn't that far from the tracks.

Yes, of course, he might not be watching BLTV solely for Rin and the reasons might also be Isagi, Shidou, Kaiser, and maybe even Lorenzo, Charles, Loki, and Noa. However, I just like to believe that he never stopped looking out for his little brother, Rin. And in a very strange way, I think he was looking out for Rin in that Snowy Night too.

First thing first, something was wrong with Sae in that flashback.

As the saying goes, "Eyes are the window to one's soul," he looks so worn out—miserable, in fact. And I highly think that around the time of this flashback, it hadn't been that long since he lost his dream—or maybe got his dreams crushed. And I got two reasons to think this way:

To repeat my words, he looks miserable, which is a given when you lose a dream, compared to his later appearance like in the U-20 match. And judging by the timeline, the flashback and U-20 match have 1 year-ish gap which is an ample amount of time to cope up and get a hold of yourself.

Rin kept close tabs on Sae through news and all. The younger Itoshi would definitely be the one, if not the first, to know that Sae was now aiming to be the best midfielder instead of the best striker. But..

...Rin didn't know shit.

Now, you might be wondering why in the world I'm focusing so much on the timeline, right? Like, Sae got his dreams crushed, then he return to Japan and confronted Rin—what's the big deal about it even if these events happened in a short amount of time?

...

And that's where you'd be wrong if you think this way.

We all keep forgetting that to be the world's greatest striker was Sae's dream first before he decided to share it with Rin. Sae has been playing this sport since he was one year old. Soccer, probably, came into his life before Rin did. Rin gave his teen years to this game, but Sae has nearly given his whole life to this dream.

Now imagine yourself in Sae's position. Imagine devoting your whole childhood and teen years to something only to not be able to achieve it in the end. Won't you be devastated? Won't you be a mess? Won't you need some time to collect yourself together? Now do you understand why the timeline matters so much? And why the timeline is such a big deal? Hm?

Secondly, Sae has never been a visibly sweet person, even to Rin.

Yes, Sae took care of Rin, but did we ever see him go, "Aww! My lil baby bro Rinnie! Cutie patootie! My baby bro <333333" Did we? He had always been rather.. emotion-less and blunt. After the above panel, too, his words were, "You can be the most amazing, after me."

He just has been like that.

Always.

That's why I have always believed that he never changed as a person, even after Spain. He has been like this from the start, which is also why I think that his harsh words in that Snowy Night was just another way of him looking out for Rin because guess who has known soccer longer? Who has gone out of Japan and seen the outside world's soccer with his own eyes?

Yeah.

In a way, Sae's dream had more weight than Rin's. The older Itoshi had soccer in front of his vision, meanwhile the younger one had his Nii-chan in front of his eyes. Despite being so focused in this sport, Sae just couldn't be it, so what makes you think Rin could've made it when his sole focus was his Nii-chan instead? Wouldn't have Rin struggled so much in the outside world with this kind of mentality?

And this is something, I think, Sae knew too—on that Snowy Night, he actually realised what Rin's real mindset was like and immediately knew that it just wasn't going to fly in the world stage. Sae was just saving Rin from the hardships he himself must've went through during his time in Spain—Sae was just looking out for Rin.

"What about those mean things he said to Rin?" you may ask, and that's exactly where the timeline comes into play—Sae was just a mess, and Rin's words were the breaking point for him.

"What words?" you may ask now, and these are the words:

Repeating myself, eyes are the window to one's soul:

Sae never broke his promise—Sae never stopped looking out for Rin.

#blue lock #bllk #itoshi sae #itoshi rin #雪 ranting

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deadpcnned · 21 days ago

Text

Sealed by the Storm (jj.m)

chapter four

pairing: jj maybank x reader; marriage of convenience

content warning(s): references to mommy issues (reader), references to loss of a parent (reader), angst

author's note: i'm so so sorry it's taken so long to get this chapter up. it ended up being a bit harder than i expected. thank you for your patience! just a little warning i will be changing the pov in this series to 2nd person (working on fixing the other parts).

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When the Pogues were dividing the Maybank Property, you didn’t get closet space. Your room was an extra storage closet with just enough room to fit a twin bed, a mirror you’d mounted on the wall, and a small nightstand with two drawers. When you first arrived at the Outer Banks, after El Dorado, you had nothing except literally the clothes on your back, so you didn’t see the point in arguing for more space. Since the OBX has become your home, you’ve gotten more things– usually, having to ask Cleo to put some of your clothing in her and Pope’s closet– but not enough because you can’t find anything white right now. Not even jeans. Sarah had insisted that if you didn’t wear white, the whole thing would seem rushed– more rushed than it already seemed– and that every part of this production had to appear genuine.

You’re still trying to figure out how Cleo convinced you to get married. When you left all the Pogues on the porch last night, there was no way you were going to marry JJ. It wasn’t just about JJ. Your unstable upbringing jaded your view on many things, and love was probably one of them. You didn’t doubt that love was real, and the last two years had taught you that it existed in abundance. But love was temporary, with a shelf life that only lasted until one party found something more important to stick their heart to. You haven’t given it much thought, to be honest, what you think of love now that you’ve found this version of a home. It seems contradictory to concern yourself with something as fleeting as love when you’ve finally stopped defining your life by trying to survive day-to-day. Instead, you’ve focused on the other relationships in your life. For the first time, in maybe ever, you have friends, plural. Loyal and lively friends. You also have adults who care about you without expecting something in return. You can show up at the Heywards’ door at an ungodly hour, and they won’t blink an eye.

While you haven’t thought about love since settling down, you know exactly how you feel about marriage.

Marriage isn’t just soft-spoken promises of I love you and forever; it is a transaction, a business deal and a power struggle made to look pretty with red ribbons of romance and confident vows of companionship. You had seen it yourself, watched as the winning smiles of the person you loved most had only ever been disarming grins all along. Marriage hadn’t stopped your mother from betraying your family, nor had it shielded you from pain. No, it had been the weapon your mother used to get exactly what she’d always wanted, even more than her daughter. It didn’t matter if the union is built on love because marriage is the issue's root. The legal entanglement makes people greedy, leaving their spouses a casualty of the games.

You don’t know how you feel about love, but you know that marriage is a trap you never expected to find yourself in. Yet, here you are, about to fall off the precipice of the very thing you fear. You are going to permit another person to pull you into this game by signing off on a dotted line. And you weren’t even in love.

You find a beige skirt buried deep in a drawer of your nightstand and figure it’s close enough to white. You begin looking for a shirt when you hear a short knock followed by the door opening. Sarah walks in with her hair wrapped in a green towel, holding something in her hands.

“You know,” You say, plopping down on your bed, relieved for this break from looking for an outfit. “Usually, people wait for a response when they knock.”

Sarah smiles, sitting on the bed and bumping her shoulder against yours. “Force of habit. I always used to barge into Wheezie’s.” Sarah’s expression is some mix of fondness and longing that makes you want to squeeze the girl who has become like a sister to you. Instead, you just slip your hand into Sarah’s and gave it a light squeeze. If you stop to acknowledge every unfair thing life dealt all of you, you would never get anything done. Sarah nods at your other hand, where the beige skirt is balled in a fist. “No luck finding anything white?”

You shake your head with a groan. “No. It’s fine. Beige is close enough.”

“It is so not fine,” Sarah’s exasperation is completely unnecessary in your opinion, but you let her continue. “If we want to make all this believable, every detail counts. A girl marrying the love of her life would care that beige is not white.”

You give Sarah a sarcastic smile. “What about girls marrying a friend they can sometimes tolerate?” Sarah’s smile matches yours, but a line forms between her brows.

“Hey, why are you stressing?” You reach up to smooth out the divot. “I’m the one getting married.”

“No, it’s not that,” Sarah lets her denial sit between you two, not immediately offering any explanation. Her lips purse sideways, her brows furrowing further, a telltale sign that she is having difficulty keeping something to herself. Just as you expect, Sarah breaks without any additional pushing from you. “It’s just that… why are you so hard on JJ?”

“Are you seriously asking me that, Sar?” You roll your eyes, getting up from the bed. You walk towards your nightstand, training your focus on folding the useless skirt and putting it back in the bottom drawer.

“Yeah, actually,” Sarah’s voice is serious, a tone she seldom uses. Unleashing her hair from the towel, Sarah throws it at your nightstand. “I am.”

It only takes a minute for the skirt to be put neatly away, leaving you nothing to avoid Sarah and this conversation. You turn to face Sarah, whose eyebrows were now raised instead of furrowed.

“Sarah, it’s like you guys forget everything he’s done.”

“Of course we haven’t forgotten, but we forgave him. That’s what friends do.”

“You can’t forgive someone who hasn’t apologized,” You argue.

Sarah shakes her head, her eyes shifting to the ceiling as if she is in deep thought. “JJ…” Sarah trails off again, seemingly unable to explain herself. “He’s not good with words—”

You cut Sarah off with a scoff and cross your arms across your chest. “JJ is amazing with his words. He can get himself out of anything.”

“That’s not what I mean,” Sarah’s tone, while it remains serious, doesn’t match yours. She remains calm as she continues. “I used to get annoyed too, you know? When I first started dating John B, we were all so caught up in the Denmark treasure, but after a while, I noticed the same things you do. He was always getting caught up in some shit he’d start, and all of us somehow ended up stuck with him in whatever web he’d spun.”

JJ and Sarah resemble siblings in more than appearances; they often fight just like you assume normal siblings would. Fights over things like the rules of a board game or stolen leftovers usually end at the beginning of wrestling matches, that John B has to stop by physically removing Sarah from the room. However, you have yet to see Sarah genuinely upset with JJ. The Pogues never really fight, so Sarah’s lack of anger isn’t out of the ordinary, but you could never picture a time when Sarah had felt differently about him. It could be how Sarah compensates for the loss of her siblings, but despite only being a few months older than JJ, she smothers him with the sisterly love Cleo gives you.

“Yeah,” Sarah chuckles, reading the disbelief on your features. “But then there was this day after my dad died…the first time,” Sarah cringes as she says it, and you try your best to keep your face neutral because what were your lives? Sarah’s voice changes, looking down at her hands as she continues. “His death had put JB and me in a weird place. I needed him to understand my grief, but to him, the man who’d taken his father from him was dead. At that point, I was sort of still just his girlfriend. Kie and I had just started talking about our history. JJ and Pope had no loyalty to me.

“But JJ snuck onto Tannyhill just to see if I was okay. Brought some flowers he’d picked from our yard and everything. He hated Ward almost as much as John B, but he still showed up for me. I remember Rafe almost caught him cause JJ had tripped the security alarm, and I had to convince him it must’ve been a fluke. That’s who he is. He makes mistakes, just like us, but he shows up. Sometimes more than the rest of us.”

You don’t know what to say in response. JJ supporting Sarah is sweet, but it isn’t unexpected. You know how fiercely he shows up for the Pogues, and you undoubtedly admire that about him. It doesn’t change the fact that he is impulsive, and it seems like his impulsivity is reaching a point of no return.

“Sarah, It’s not that I don’t know JJ’s a good guy. I do,” You sit down next to the blonde. “But that doesn’t change the fact that we’re still getting caught in the web.”

“People make mistakes, Y/N/N. The rest of us have, and you’ve always forgiven us. What’s so different about JJ’s mistakes?” You don’t need to think of your answer.

“This is all I have.”

“The shop?” Sarah asks.

You shake your head, the nape of your neck heating up as the cost of being vulnerable. “You. The Pogues.” You will yourself not to let your voice shake. To you, every wrong decision JJ makes threatens the Pogues’ chances of staying together. This family that has somehow fallen into your lap— a gift after years of misfortune— seems to be hanging by a thread recently.

Sarah’s expression softens, and you could laugh at the speed with which your friend’s eyes fill with tears. With all her cheek and confidence, Sarah is still the softest person you know.

“Then you and JJ are more alike than you think,” Sarah says simply. She quickly brushes the tears that have fallen and clears her throat. “Sorry. I didn’t come in here to berate you. I came to bring you this.” Sarah reaches back on the bed, where she’d dropped the black bag she’d walked in with. It’s a garment bag. Sarah stands from the bed and unzips the bag in her hands.

“I stole this one of the times I snuck into Tannyhill… is it called stealing if it’s literally yours?” Sarah’s usual cheer appears to have returned, and no trace of your earlier conversation is left. “Anyway, it’ll definitely do the trick.”

Sarah carefully pulls a mess of white fabric from her bag. The dress, in true Sarah Cameron fashion, is gorgeous. It has a drop-waist silhouette that will hug the body perfectly before flaring into a soft skirt. The skirt is covered by a delicate, thin layer of netting that compliments the suggestive top half with a whimsical touch. The outline of flowers are scattered across the skirt, only enhancing the graceful look. Instead of sleeves, the dress is held together by thin, dainty straps, and the dress will likely end a little above your ankles, making it the perfect blend of romantic and laid-back.

Simply put, the dress is beautiful.

“You stole this? When the hell were you going to need--” You stop speaking as you are hit with the obvious. Sarah's reason for initially buying this dress doesn’t matter, because it’s glaringly obvious why she deemed it necessary to take and bring back to your house. “No way. I’m not wearing this.”

“Why not? It’s the perfect elopement dress,” Sarah whines, holding it against your frame.

You push the dress away from your body. “Yeah, for you. It’s your elopement dress.”

“John B. and I are already married,” Sarah shrugs.

“Sarah.”

Sarah rolls her eyes. “Fine, yes, I stole this to wear when JB and I get legally married, but it’s fine! I’ll buy another dress when that time comes. This was originally gonna be my midsummer’s backup. It’s nothing fancy.”

“This is your backup?” You ask, only receiving a shrug from Sarah. “Sar, why would you give me this for a sham wedding? It’s such a waste.”

“I don’t feel like it would be,” Sarah responds. Cryptic…

“And why not?”

“Does it matter? Look, you have nothing else to wear, and we have to leave in an hour,” Sarah huffs. “Just think of me as your fairy godmother and accept the miracle.”

“Sar—” Just as you are going to protest another time, the door opens again. Cleo walks in, a bag of chips in one hand.

“You ready yet,” Cleo mumbles around the chips she is chewing. After taking in your appearance, she sighs and swallows before speaking again. “Why are you not ready yet?”

“Cause there’s still an hour.” Why are they all acting like this is a real wedding? It doesn’t matter how you look as long as you sign the damn papers. “I was about to change.” You look over at Sarah, who has a knowing smile on her face, and you groan. “Give me that.”

“Careful!” Sarah chastises as you grab the dress out of her hands. Walking towards the door, you open it with a tilt of your head to indicate the other two should get out.

“Since when do you care about privacy when you change?” Cleo asks, slumping against your bed.

“Just give me a minute.” When she realizes you are being serious, she makes eye contact with Sarah and finally gets up to leave. Once the other two girls have left, you sit on the bed, your bedding a bit crumpled from all the movement it has just endured. This is it. After you put on this dress, you will sign off the rights to your life. You know that logically, you have until you sign the dotted line, but putting on this dress is like putting up a white flag and admitting that you surrender to this convoluted plan and being tied to JJ indefinitely.

You let your shorts and crop top fall to the floor, replacing the clothing on your body with the dress. Looking in the mounted mirror on your wall, you can only see your reflection from the chest up. It gives you that familiar itch to curl into yourself. You look so much like your mother like this. In a fancy dress, your hair still pulled up from when you’d tied it back. It was so poised and elegant, a look you desperately wanted to pull off as a kid but wanted nothing to do with now. Yet, even with all the comparisons you can draw between yourself and your mother, you can’t deny it makes you feel pretty. Even just the top half of the dress fits you so well, and it makes you nostalgic for a time when pretty dresses were your only worry.

Taking just a minute longer before you let Cleo and Sarah back in, you pull your hair down. Your hair spills over your shoulders, softening your features and making you look younger. You aren’t ready to look that much like your mother.

Sarah had insisted on getting you fully ready for today’s events. You were no stranger to makeup but usually you stuck to mascara and concealer. Sarah had pulled out all the stops. While keeping your base relatively simple, she’d added blush, lipstick, and even eyeliner to “give the full effect.” She had even pulled your hair back up into a bun, and as much as you wanted to fight against it, you figured avoiding the mirror would be easier than arguing.

The Pogues had created a plan for the entire day to try to convince the residents of Kildare that the nuptials between you and JJ were as true as the sky was blue. John B and Sarah would accompany you and JJ to the courthouse to handle your ruse's legal and most crucial component, while the rest of the Pogues would set up a “surprise” reception in the Heywards’ backyard. The reception had been Pope’s idea because, according to him, his parents were too close to JJ and you to not need the extra convincing that this whole thing was real. You had doubts that Pope was just finding ways to make this more entertaining for himself.

Once Sarah and Cleo had finished helping you get ready, you’d decided to stop by the charter shack. JJ was, unsurprisingly, nowhere to be found, and you had some time to kill before heading to the courthouse. Initially, you’d wanted to find Kie. Whatever connection Kie and JJ had wasn’t lost on you, and you’d been overthinking your very much overdue conversation since last night. Even though you didn’t feel like you were wronging Kiara, since from what you’d gathered, JJ and Kie weren’t anything serious, it still felt like you owed her some form of acknowledgment. When you’d asked Cleo if she’d seen Kiara, she had let you know that Kiara had gone to her parent’s house a bit earlier, making it impossible for you to have that conversation.

Instead, you figure you’ll take the time to be alone. It’s what you always do when you can’t process your emotions. Is it the healthiest coping mechanism? No. But at least you know you do it. The shack is the closest you can get to quiet in a house with six other roommates, so you’re headed that way. As you climb the familiar footsteps, you think of the last time you’d been here. It had only been two days, but that night with JJ feels like a lifetime ago. You’d somehow compartmentalized discovering Ligthner’s body, becoming an accessory to a crime, and being questioned by the police in a way that anything before it all felt like a distant memory.

“That’ll be 3.99,” JJ’s voice snaps you out of your thoughts as you stand by the shack's open door. JJ stands behind the register in his usual uniform of cargo shorts and a graphic tee. He reaches out his hand to a middle-aged man, not noticing that you are standing there to witness his interaction.

JJ divies up the change before sticking out his hand to offer it to the patron, “Here you are, sir–” At that moment, JJ looks to his side, immediately doing a double take when he sees you. He falters, missing the customer’s hand entirely and spilling the change against the counter and the floor. The polite smile that JJ had worked to perfect slips off his face, his lips parting and his eyes clouding over. You can’t decipher the storm brewing in his eyes, but it sends a flutter through your belly as you meet his stare. The movement of the customer scramming to pick up the dropped change, which JJ had dealt in a comical amount of coins, catches your attention, but when you look back at JJ, he is still looking at you. With a heat that seems to burn right through you straight to your spine.

“JJ,” you whisper, drawing his eyes from where they had been trailing down your figure and back to your face. You shift your head towards the man crouched to gather the fallen change. JJ seems to finally return from wherever his mind had ended up and quickly rounds the corner.

“I-I’m sorry, sir,” JJ says, crouching to help. “That was an accident,” He apologizes again as he hands the last of the change back to its rightful owner.

“Don’t worry,” the man winks. “I’ll get out of your hair.” He gives you a knowing look that makes you flush as he passes and leaves the shack. If he only knew.

“Hey,” JJ mumbles, the heat in his eyes subdued. “You’re ready?

“We’re supposed to leave in twenty minutes,” you reply. “Sarah was getting restless. I think she just sees this as an opportunity to play dress-up.”

JJ chuckles, moving closer to you. “Yeah, I think John B’s choosing which one of his button-ups I’m gonna wear right now.” JJ’s eyes begin to trail back down your body, his tracking slow and that cloudy look returning to his eyes.“You look…”

You try your best to ignore how his throat bobs when he swallows, unable to fill the gap in his words. The pooling nerves in your stomach spread, moving dangerously low. That feeling isn’t good– not now, not with him.

“Like a bride?” You try to joke, but it comes out breathy and wrong.

JJ attempts to laugh, but it is more like a sharp exhale. Suddenly, his hand reaches behind your head, gripping the elastic band holding your hair in place. In a swift movement, he pulls your hair free of its constraints, and it falls in waves over your shoulders.

“Better,” He whispers, and you feel an unfamiliar ache in your chest. Whatever peculiar reaction JJ is having to seeing you in a white dress needs to be stopped.

Clearing your throat, you speak up. “You think this’ll fool everyone?”

That does the trick because JJ chuckles before pulling his arm back. “Between this and the three-act play Sarah’s putting on for the Island, we should be in the clear.” You laugh, agreeing with him.

“What are you doing out here anyway? I figured we’d keep the shop closed today,” You ask, grabbing a Snickers bar from a shelf.

JJ snatches the Snickers bar from your hands, ignoring your protests. “I figured I’d keep the shop open for a bit. You were right before about us needing the business.” You don’t say anything; you watch as JJ tears into the chocolate bar. Eventually, he passes the bar back to you with a shit-eating grin.

Narrowing your eyes, you take the bar back. Then, you tore a piece of Snickers off and plop it in your mouth. After a few minutes, neither you nor JJ move to leave, and you speak up again. “Are you ready for this?”

JJ laughs humorlessly, “As ready as I’ll ever be.”

You rub your lips together, unsure how much you want to give away what is running through your head. JJ is the only other person who can relate to you, but being vulnerable is never easy. JJ’s expression changes, his eyes softening.

“I’m scared, too,” JJ says. You want to argue, convince him that you aren’t scared. You want to make him think that you are angry and annoyed and displeased beyond belief because admitting you are scared means admitting there is something with enough power to take you down. You stay silent. You can’t bring yourself to lie to him, but instead, you feel yourself move closer to him. You don’t say anything, just let your invasion of his space speak for itself. JJ continues for you.

“I’m worried that all of this’ll be for nothing. We’ll get caught, and it’ll just make the inevitable worse.” Too lost in understanding the look in his eyes, you don’t notice JJ reaching out until his hand catches ahold of yours. For the fiftieth time in three days, JJ touches you like you’re his, his thumb stroking your fingers, and it’s getting harder not to let it make you dizzy. The whole marriage thing must really be going to your head because you can’t help but feel like the weight of his thumb keeps returning to your ring finger. “But I promise you, I’m going to make sure I don’t let it touch you. Any of this.”

“I don’t want it to touch you either.”

You aren’t sure if you meant it, and you are even less sure what compels you to say it. JJ gives you a slight smile that does nothing to ease your newfound worries, “You don’t worry about me, okay? I’m gonna get you out of this safe.”

You want to argue with him and tell him that he needs to make it out safely, too, but a distant yell interrupts your train of thought before you can reply.

“JJ, COME DOWN! I GOT YOUR CLOTHES!”

JJ pulls back, his sad, self-deprecating smile disappearing. “I’ll see you at the finish line, I guess.” He sticks out his hand, his smile changing to the mischievous one that always looks best on him. “Let’s do this.”

“Let’s do this,” You smile, reaching out to shake his hand. “But after you take a shower.”

You aren’t very superstitious, but today you want to be. Your dad had been extremely superstitious, always telling you to beware of black cats and search extra hard for four-leaf clovers. Today, you want to believe that things like a lucky number or knocking on wood can fix up a promising future for you. The weather is pristine – the sun bright and pleasant in the company of a light breeze. The weather is the textbook definition of a perfect day. If it had been your actual wedding day, you would probably have considered yourself unbelievably lucky.

You want to cling to that belief as John B, Sarah, and JJ walk to the courthouse doors. This is it, the metaphorical calm before the storm. Sarah squeezes your hand tight as you reach the courthouse. You had taken hold of her hand in the Twinkie and hadn’t let go since.

“This is it,” John B says, wiping his hands against his pants.

JJ tilts his head, offering a brief nod, “Yup.”

“Do you guys have rings?” Sarah asks, and you want to groan. She is taking this entirely too seriously, and it does nothing to calm your nerves.

“Sarah, we’re nineteen-year-old Pogues. I highly doubt anyone expects us to have rings,” JJ said, and you hadn’t ever been this thankful for him… ever.

Sarah rolls her eyes, offering you one more squeeze of her hand before letting go. She walks up the five steps of the courthouse building and opens the door for the rest of the group. You and JJ follow John B. and Sarah’s lead as they talk to a few people to see where they should go. John B had called as soon as the courthouse’s office had opened in the morning, but it seems a bit pointless since there aren’t many people around. That helps with your nerves a little. Not having an audience will make some of this easier.

JJ, unlike earlier, is the picture of ease. He had put on a pair of John B’s khakis and a pale blue button-down, looking so unlike himself. His messy blond hair, not a trace of gel visible, is the only thing that reminds you that you are about to marry JJ Maybank. He leans against the counter in front of the plexiglass like it’s the counter back at the shop and speaks to the clerk as if he is an old family friend. He handles giving the clerk all the information required, only turning to you for your license – which you’d thankfully gotten a couple of years ago. He is so… JJ about the whole thing. Playing the part so well, as if it’s just another one of your schemes. Eventually, the clerk passes a stack of papers through the opening at the bottom of the glass and speaks into his mic.

“Once you’re ready, we’ll need your signatures on each page, and then you’ll sign this.” He passes a yellow file folder with a paper sticking through the gap. “And that’s it. You’ll be officially married.”

Your fingers shake as you reached forward to pick up the yellow folder. The portion of the paper sticking out says ‘marriage license’ in beautiful, cursive font. You are surprised you aren’t numb to the nerves twisting around your stomach by this point.

“Whenever you’re ready,” the clerk says, turning away to his computer. You look up at JJ and then behind him at Sarah.

“It’s going to be okay, Y/N,” Sarah assures you, but it doesn’t help. Her words can’t dissuade the nagging voice in your head saying that you are signing up for your life to become a game.

“Hey,” JJ turns to look at Sarah and John B before grabbing the papers from the counter and your hand. He leads you both to a brown bench at the edge of the room, sitting you down. He takes a moment to look around him before crouching in front of you. “I know this is hard, but…”

“We have to.” You fill in. JJ shakes his head immediately.

“No, we don’t. Somehow, this crazy idea makes sense, but that doesn’t mean we have to. If you say no, then we’ll figure out another way. No one will be mad, and none of this will be your fault.”

“You wouldn’t be mad?”

“Of course, I wouldn’t. You’re doing me a favor.” You look at JJ, knelt before you, a hand placed next to your thigh. He is utterly at your mercy and still giving you an out. No pressure, no fallout. Looking at him, you know what you have to do.

“No, I’ll do it.” JJ looks at you as if to ask, “Are you sure?” You nod in reply. “Give me a pen.”

JJ stands up, sitting down next to you. He pulls out a pen from his pocket, and you want to joke about how domesticated the fact that he’s switched out his lighter for a pen is, but all you can bring yourself to do is swallow down the deep breaths of air you are taking in. JJ flipped through each sheet in the stapled stack of papers, signing one line before passing the pen to you and repeating. He signs, then you sign. He signs, then you sign. You focus on that pattern through all six sheets, and the flow was only disrupted when JJ waves John B and Sarah over to sign on the witness sections. When JJ finally pulls out the marriage license from its folder, you though you would have reacted less to it. It was just another four lines, but you still feel its weight as JJ prepares to sign it. You don’t move your eyes from JJ’s calloused hand– focusing on how his hand moves as he glides the pen over the paper, the sound of the pen clicking when he is done, the sharp crinkle of the paper as he holds it out for you. You try to focus on anything that would distract you from the actual act of signing the papers.

“Wow,” John B whistles. “You guys are married.”

You look up at him, JJ, and the signed papers in front of you. JJ’s face is paler than usual, but there is no indication of what he is thinking. You try to smile at Sarah, but you can feel it comes out more like a grimace.

“Alright, you two,” John B says, as the Twinkie near Pope’s parent’s place. “This is when it all matters.”

You want to laugh. It didn’t matter when you were manipulating the government?

“Everyone here needs to believe that you two are surprised by this party, but more than that, they need to believe that you’re in love,” You roll your eyes. He doesn’t have to spell it out so much. “That means you need to go full Jarah.”

“Excuse me?” You ask. “What’s a Jarah?”

“Oh God, JB,” JJ groans, his head falling back against the seat cushion. “That’s cringe even for you.” You glance at John B’s smug grin and Sarah’s love-struck gaze, and you groan.

“Is that y’alls couple's name?” You ask.

“The kids call it a ship name,” John B shrugs.

“You’re so unbelievably lame,” You nod at JJ’s words, your posture mirroring his as you rest your head against the seat.

“Maybe, but I’m also serious. You need to look like a newly wedded couple, which means lots of PDA.”

You look at JJ, who seems just as displeased as you feel. JJ has been quiet since you got in the car, and there is no sign of the boy who’d talked you through the hardest decision of your life.

“So when we get to the backyard, be holding hands and biggggg smiles. Got it?” You regret any time you’d privately praised John B’s leadership skills. JJ is the first to exit the car, closing the door once all of you have gotten out and following behind the group. When you reached the fence of Pope’s childhood home, JJ’s entire demeanor shifts. His shoulder raise, a small smile paints his lips, and you swear his cheeks somehow turned redder. He places his hand out for you, waiting for you to take it.

You walk hand in hand through the makeshift fence Heyward must’ve built years ago, the sound of music and the smell of barbecue filling your senses. As people begin to come into view, your jaw drops. Except it isn’t an act because you are in genuine shock. You’d assumed the party would consist of Pope’s parents, maybe Kie’s, and a couple of JJ’s acquaintances from high school. What you hadn’t expected was for what seemed like the entirety of The Cut to be populating Heyward’s backyard. From JJ’s expression, he also didn’t expect to see this many people.

The crowd erupts in cheers, chants of the couple’s names being heard from various corners. You feel JJ’s hand tighten around yours, but when you look at him, he seems to melt into the noise. His lips round into a cheer and settle into a wide grin as he takes in the crowd. In this crowd, JJ is in his element. With the attention, noise, and chaos, he can guide you through the rest of the evening and you can have the chance of getting out of this without being caught. You follow JJ’s lead, smiling brightly, and feel relieved when Cleo came to give you a big hug.

“Who knew you were such a great actress,” You mumblw to Cleo, who is holding onto you with a death grip.

“The hug’s not because I’m happy for you,” Cleo whispers back. “I’m sorry, Y/N/N. But it’s all going to be okay.” When she pulls back, you don’t have the time to sit in that moment with Cleo because all your friends follow her lead.

“JJ,” You and JJ look up to see all six feet something of Mr. Heyward standing in front of you and you immediately feel your palms dampen. This interaction will possibly be the hardest one to sell.

“Heyward,” JJ lets go of your hand and throws his palm out to shake the hand of someone you know has played the part of a father to him. You wonder if lying to Heyward might be one of the more challenging parts for JJ, but if it is, he doesn’t let it show and instead plays the part he has to effortlessly. “Thanks for all of this,” He makes a show of taking in his surroundings and letting out a low whistle. “It means a lot.”

Heyward’s expression is painfully untrusting, and you wish you could wither away when he turns to look at you. Over the past two years, as Pope and Cleo’s relationship transitioned from platonic to damn near a married couple, you had frequented the Heywards’ house almost as much as Cleo. When you’d returned from Poguelandia, Heyward had housed you without a second thought, and ever since then, he’d treated you like his own. Lying to him feels worse than a betrayal, even if you’re sure he would understand the situation. Well, maybe not the entire situation.

“Sure was surprised when I heard Pope tell me this was happening,” Heyward says. The glare he would give you kids whenever he knew something was amiss, boring into you.

You must look like a fish out of water with your mouth opening and closing, searching for an adequate response. Luckily, JJ speaks up for both of you. His arm rounds across your shoulders as he draws you closer to him.

“I know it’s hard to believe., but when you know, you know, right?”

Heyward hums, his arms crossing across his chest and then uncrossing again. Pointing his finger, he says, “You know, I’m just not sure how I didn’t see this happening, is all.”

JJ leans in towards you, making a show of failing to whisper, “I’m sure he doesn’t see a lot of things nowadays–”

“Oh, you think you’re funny, huh, lil shit,” With that, Heyward is back to his usual level of annoyance with JJ, and you can breathe a little easier. “Y/N, you got anything to say?”

You clear your throat, “It’s been a whirlwind, but I’m really happy.”

You don’t look at JJ as you say it and know you needed to, but lying has never been your strong suit. When you and Cleo were still with Terrance, you usually worked in the shadows while Cleo set up the distractions in the spotlight. It was easier for you that way. This whole wedding sham had made the two of you switch roles, and you didn’t have enough time to prepare.

“I don’t know what whirlwind you’ve found yourself in now, but I’m sure I don’t need to teach you that marriage is no joke.” If only Heyward knew how deeply familiar you were with the fact that marriage was anything but humorous. “Be smart. And you,” Heyward looks back at JJ, his features stern. “Be good to her. Or Cleo and I won’t leave a body to be found.”

You finally laugh at that, and in a moment of feeling genuinely carefree, you wrap your arm around JJ’s torso. You wouldn’t have even noticed you did it if JJ hadn’t brushed the bare skin of your shoulder and drawn your attention to just how close you are. Despite your unusual affection, neither of you moves from your entanglement. As you move around the party, meeting acquaintances and a couple of JJ’s cousins, you think you could’ve sold the whole thing with how close you two are. You doubt you were Sarah and John B’s level of affectionate, but even if JJ had been the love of your life, you don’t think you’d be the kind of person to have that much of a public display anyway.

The sun will begin setting soon, and as you look around the backyard, you feel nostalgia for something you have never had. Weddings were one of those things so many girls grew up dreaming about, spending hours thinking up the dress of their dreams and how they’d decorate their venue. You never had the chance to think of those things, but looking around you, you think maybe this is precisely what you would’ve asked for. The decorations are as simple as they could be. Cleo and Pope have strung some fairy lights– probably Kie’s– through a few trees and from the roof's ledge. It’s cook-out style for food– grills being manned by dads and barbecue being served fresh to each person. Music is playing in the background, but it wasn’t a perfectly curated playlist of love songs. From what you’ve heard since you walked in, it was probably just the playlist Pope usually put on when he got speaker control during hangouts. It is the most Pogue, life on The Cut-esque wedding, but it is more than enough for you. For a minute, you close your eyes and pretend this is a party being hosted for any other reason, sending a fuzzy feeling from your heart throughout your body. It is all you’ve ever wanted. To be loved, to belong. It doesn’t matter how you got here, but you had.

The upbeat tempo of a Kendrick song is replaced by the much slower tempo of an unsettlingly familiar song. The opening notes of Can’t Help Falling In Love ring through the settling crowd, the blend of the piano and electric guitar muffling Heyward’s voice as he calls you and JJ to the center of the yard. You barely process the awkward look JJ shoots you, too distracted by the churning feeling in your stomach, returning more vigorous than it had all day. You hate this song. There are too many memories of watching your parents dance around the kitchen while Elvis played in the background. You used to watch them in awe of the love they shared, the way your father would melt into your mother’s arms. It was almost like the song had created a self-fulfilling prophecy about how your parents' relationship would play out. A love that had felt as sure as the flow of the river to the sea had taken your father’s life. It had taken your life.

JJ’s hand leads you to the clearing all the onlookers have created as he mumbles about having no choice. You look around, all these people who would never know what you are thinking. You are thinking about this life that you dreamed of a couple of years ago and many years before, you wouldn’t have understood. That girl watching her parents in the kitchen wouldn’t have understood any of this, and your heart breaks for her in a way that it never has before. It is making it difficult to push past the pounding in your ears and the bile rising in your throat. JJ’s free hand comes to rest on your waist, and when your eyes met, he gives you a tense smile.

Your right hand rests on his shoulder, mindlessly mirroring how you’ve seen your parents do this a hundred times. JJ, you soon find out, isn’t much of a dancer. His steps are clumsy, either too wide or too short. He tries to lead your movements, picking up on how you’ve gone rigid, but he lacks just as much fluidity. You know what the crowd is expecting. They want to see magic, the tender moments between two young people looking forward to every joyful second of their intertwined lives. The way you and JJ are moving is the polar opposite– the stiff movement highlighting how out of sync you two truly are. JJ’s movements are harsh and rushed, and you are grateful that he has switched out his workboots for a pair of John B’s Converse because, in a span of two minutes, he’s stepped on your toes three times.

“Shit– sorry,” JJ mumbles, his covered foot landing on your toes a fourth time, effectively making you wince. He is so focused on his missteps that he likely isn’t noticing the judgemental side glances you are receiving from the crowd, but you do. Something about the combination of your embarrassment and the painful memories of your youth has your eyes welling with tears. You don’t cry. Not just in front of others, but never. It’s like your tears had dried up all those years ago, but now, with this stupid, stupid song playing, you can’t stop them.

“Swear I’m not usually–” JJ stops his defense when he looks at you, his eyes widening. The tears haven’t fallen, but it is probably evident with how close JJ is to you. JJ looks around, snapping his head in various directions until he finally finds whatever or whoever he is looking for. He twists his pointer finger in a circular motion twice, and you notice Pope quickly shuffling with his phone. The music doesn’t change immediately, and JJ keeps his hands firmly against you, but he slows his swaying. Instead, he holds you still and pulls you into his body. It’s like he is trying to shield you from everything outside the two of you, and you take refuge in his arms without a second thought. He whispers against your temple, “I got you.”

The haunting melody of Can’t Help Falling In Love is finally replaced with the rhythmic, upbeat tune of My Girl by The Temptations. JJ, firmly pressed against you, pulls back quickly and lets out an unrestrained “WOO!” He snaps in tune with the music, his movements much more liquid than earlier. The weight of the earlier song still feels like it is being pressed against you, but the energy of this song is entirely different, and it seems to infect JJ. He has a cheeky grin and looks just like the charming-to-a-fault boy you know despite the clothes that don’t belong to him and the rare bursts of softness you’ve witnessed today.

“I’ve got sunshine,” He sins along with Ron Tyson, and if it had been any other artist, you might have thought he was giving them a run for their money. His voice is smoother than you would’ve expected. He doesn’t have the voice of a trained vocalist, but his North Carolina accent mixed with the natural timbre of his voice makes for something captivating. The smile he’d brought to your face grows as he steps towards you, his shoulder moving in time with the song.

“I guess you say,” He continues, his eyebrows raised with intention as he looks at you. Your laughter bubbles over, already knowing where he is headed with this. “What can make me feel this way?”

You make a show of annoyance with his antics, but as he takes your hand and spins you around three times– once for each time Tyson sings ‘my girl’-- your delight is unfeigned. After the third spin, JJ crosses your arms in front of you, hauling your back against his chest. You peer up at him over your shoulder, your noses brushing, and his grin is like the sun peeking through on a cloudy day.

The crowd has begun to join you on the makeshift stage, but you are too caught up in the song and how much fun you are having with JJ to care. These are the moments you remember from Poguelandia, which feel like a lifetime ago now— the carefree feeling JJ brought to your life that you had desperately needed then.

JJ’s antics only get more humorous when the song's instrumental part begins to play. He uses the opportunity to do his infamous two-step, shooting you a cocky smirk and throwing his arms out at either side of him, inviting competition.

“That all you got?” You ask, and JJ made a show of stepping back and offering you the floor. You aren’t sure what you are doing, but you take the space and let your hips move in tune with the music. The song isn’t seductive by any means, but it is groovy, and you felt confident in how your body moves with it. From the impressed look on JJ’s face, he seems to agree, and you giggle as he inces closer slowly, wrapping a loose arm around your waist.

As the song reaches its final verse, John B and Sarah have made their way over to you. JJ and John B look at each other, tilting their heads in unison and pointing at each other. Suddenly, JJ is spinning you over, and John B takes ahold of your hand. John B is a much worse singer than JJ, but your laughter isn’t deterred for even a moment as he leads you through the rest of the dance. You make eye contact with Sarah, who shoots you a wink and lovingly rolls her eyes when JJ spins her. John B follows suit by turning you in towards him, whispering in your ear.

“That had to sell it.”

taglist: @theater-bitch @ayy1234567 @tpwkyarely @loves animals0000 @B3rryb3t @mvaldez7821 @ummmmokaynotme @velyssaraptor @chloemaybank @sandaltoesocks @thexplosivegirl @rudypankowisbae @marleymarleymarleymarley @snowtargaryen @awurtzx06 @yumwhy @rudypankowisbae @kanpaeki

#jj maybank x reader #jj mayback imagine #jj maybank #jj maybank angst #outer banks x reader #obx x reader #sealed 𓂁 ☼♒︎

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penelopepine · 9 months ago

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Don't be a stranger! Pt. 4

Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

Simon "Ghost" Riley x FemReader

Content: Neighbors AU, fluff, developing relationship

Johnny has silently been sitting across from him for 20 mins now; his eyes were narrowed with a wide smirk on his face. It was clear that he had something on his mind that he wanted to bring up, but Simon is refusing to be the one to bring it up first.

“So…Lt.” Johnny leaned forward, “Who did you meet?”

Simon paused with what he was writing and looked up to meet Johnny’s eyes. The two of them were close, but he doubts that the other can read him so well to know that he met someone while away. “Why do you think I met someone?”

"It's written all over your face, and I'm reading you like a book."

"My covered face?"

"It's written on your mask then, either way I can tell."

"Hmm."

Simon decides to do what he does best and ignores the conversation; if he doesn't react Johnny would eventually get bored of poking and leave him alone. This must be the most interesting happening in the sergeant's life though because he doesn't seem ready to let go.

"Is this mystery person a new friend or partner?" Johnny continued to stare at Simon as if he was actually trying to read him.

"Do you have anything you need to be doing right now or do I need to find you something?"

Right away he watches as Johnny jumps out of his seat and walks towards the door with his hands up. That grin hasn't dimmed even the tiniest bit though as he turns to Simon once more, "Oh by the way the reason I came to find you was that the mail room says they have a care package for you." With that Johnny is quickly out the door.

Simon glared at the spot the other once stood. That explains what had Johnny so bothersome he supposes then. He'll also need to talk to the mail room about not announcing what he's getting to nosy sergeants.

With a huff he stands from his seat and also makes his way to the office door. Simon isn't going to show it, but he is always very excited whenever he gets another package from you. He's been away for a little over a month now. The two of you have talked over the phone plenty of times, but there's something more intimate about exchanging letters and packages with one another.

Once reaching the mail room he is quick to gather his things, and make his way to the confines of his private space. He would have made it there without any interruptions, but he just had to run into Price on his way.

"Ghost." Price smiles and gestures towards the box, "What you got there lad?"

"A box, sir."

"From anyone special?"

Simon wasn't sure how to answer that because you were special to him, but he really didn't want anyone knowing about you right now. He's not ready to share who you are and what you mean to him yet. It's bad enough that Johnny already has an inkling about who you are; bad things always seem to happen when everybody finds out.

As if sensing his internal struggle, Price asks, "Is this the same person who gave you that bracelet?"

Looking down at his wrist the bracelet was out for all to see. Simon swiftly moves his sleeve to cover it once again out of sight; giving Price a hard stare. "It might be."

Price gives a small chuckle and as he walks past gives him a pat on the back, "Well then, I won't keep you any longer."

Not needing to be told twice Simon rushes to his room. Right away he opens the box from you; right on top is a note reading, “Facetime me, if you can, while you open the rest of the box!!!”

Looking at the time you should be home already. Good, he’d hate to miss a chance to talk to you. Simon takes a few moments to make sure his space is presentable for you before calling.

You answer on the second ring. Your face appears on screen with a wide smile as you move about the room. “Simon!”

There it was again the feeling of his heart threatening to burst from his chest. You’re able to stop all other thoughts as soon as you say his name, “Hello, love.”

"How have you been? Did you get my package? I put an extra special item in there for you!"

"Oh really? Well let's see what's in here then." Simon pulls the box into the camera view, and takes out the first item. It was a large container of chocolate chip cookies. He had asked for more after the first time, and now you always add baked goods whenever you send him anything.

"Those are to share by the way. I packed extra so your friends could enjoy some too!"

That was another thing he really admired about you. You were always thinking of others and wanting to help when you could. He had told you all about the team; little stories of them around base or out at the pub. You also asked about them once in a while; wanting to make sure everyone was doing ok. "They're my coworkers."

"You can't lie to me Simon. I know you care about them more than you would a normal coworker." The camera view on your end now showed you in the kitchen preparing to cook dinner for yourself. "Take out the next one!"

"Whatever you say love," he reaches back in and in hands now sits a tin of his favorite tea.

You gasp and lightly clap, "Here it is!"

Simon had complained during one of the phone calls that he hadn't had a good cup of tea in ages, and whenever good tea does come onto base it's usually gone within the hour. "I don't deserve you, love, thank you. This is going to make my time here much more enjoyable."

"That's what I like to hear! Just let me know when you run out and I'll be sure to send more." Simon would do anything to make sure that the smile you're giving him never leaves your face, "There should only be one more thing in there now!"

Pulling out the last thing was a small envelope. At first he thought it was a letter, but after opening it he found that the envelope actually had several polaroid pictures inside. Carefully he pulled them out and examined them carefully.

One of them was of a sunrise on the street he had always walked you to work on. Another was one of your hands in the shape of half a heart in front of his flat door. The next one was you; you were smiling at the camera, at him.

"I got a polaroid camera just a bit ago, and thought you'd like some pictures of home."

“They're perfect.” These were worth more to him than you would ever know, “What about you, love; did you get your package?”

You grab the phone and start to walk again, “Yeah, let me show you what I did!”

The camera is soon flipped and there on your living room window sill are all the rocks he has been sending you.

“What’s the story behind this one?” You hold up the most recent rock he had sent you. It was palm sized and vaguely resembled a mountain peak.

“That’s the very stone that took down Johnny.” He couldn’t help but smile at the memory, “He was running away from Gaz, and before either could get very far Johnny trips and falls straight on his face. It deserves the honor of being in your company for that.”

The two of you continue to talk as you make dinner for yourself. Talking about your day, work, and future plans for about another half hour. He can’t stay with you forever though, and he still has things he needs to do today.

“I’ll call you later love.”

The two of you exchange goodbyes and Simon is left with the silence of his room, wishing that he could be with you right now.

Looking at the time he noted to himself that Price has a briefing planned in just a bit. He placed some aside for himself for later before grabbing the box of cookies from you and started to make his way towards the meeting room.

Taglist: @nexthyperfix @yourdaydreamerfan @tf141gloryhole @just-pure-trash @definitelynotaclown

@141tfsan @arminarlertssword @openup-yourmind

#simon riley x reader #x reader #fem reader #ghost x reader #simon ghost riley #task force 141 #call of duty #female reader #john soap mactavish #john price

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ember-owlet · 3 months ago

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art credit : @/koifee 🧵

a/n: this was written before arcane season 2 drops to give us all some form of comfort for the inevitable angst rollercoaster we're all about to embark on (and as of a few days ago a very frightening turn of events in the US). i'm writing this on a personal assumption of events from season 2's "nothing to lose" clip. therefore, this might not be anywhere near the canonical reason behind the caitvi breakup/pitfighter era. regardless, i hope you enjoy firelights. we're in this together. ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

dynamic: cg! caitlyn x regressor! vi

summary: caitlyn checks in on vi after receiving concerns from her subordinate. despite the bitter tension that weighs on them, caitlyn gets her cleaned up, and vi experiences regression for the first time as snuggles ensue.

content warnings: moderate swearing, mention of excessive alcohol consumption, descriptions of being vi being bathed (in a sfw context), light mention of vomit, description of physical injuries from fist fights.

((stay safe little firelights, you can always come back to this when you're ready))

Knock knock

The letter crumpled and contorted under Caitlyn's grip with each repetitive knock against the dingy door. The silence clawed deeply at the enforcer's chest.

"Commander, she needs serious help. Go salvage what's left of her drunk ass before she does something stupid. You won't have to go far, she's right where you left her." The insubordination in his warning mattered little; nothing else consumed Caitlyn's thoughts but the mission to ensure Violet's safety.

She wasn't entirely clear on how the door pried itself from its hinges, or how she managed to enter the dwelling other than with sheer desperation to see its inhabitant's face. And, if not for the thundering adrenaline coursing through her, the greeting of pungent stale odor would have made her recoil. The radiation of artificial light pooled from the window grid before her, muddying the sharp and pristine uniform in a putrid stale glow.

"Vi!?" Caitlyn surveyed the room with a renewed frenzy. Each step in the cramped space met with the clink of her heel against the sea of empty bottles that littered the floor.

She found the girl's sleeping, labored breaths curled further into her shuddering frame. Her Violet, who could topple armies with mere fists, the unbreakable pillar of Zaun, lay powerless to the elements.

"Violet, you need to get up," Caitlyn pushed against the inked and exposed skin, her words a command rather than a warm greeting. Vi awoke with a few struggling attempts, slow and drowsy to her reality. Caitlyn couldn't help but notice how sour she smelled as her words slurred.

"...Cait? 'M sorry I should've-"

"When was the last time you ate? Or had a decent shower?" Her irritation soon succeeded the anxiety. She watched as Vi struggled to grasp how the girl she had agonized over for months on end suddenly appeared in her room.

"Why're you here?" She stumbled in an upright position, brushing at the wild mane that shrouded her face. "Fuck, what time is it?"

Caitlyn tsked, reaching a hand out towards her. "I'm saving your life before you throw it away." She wanted to gift Vi the smallest act of dignity in deciding how the night would turn for herself. The wall between them heightened with hesitation in her inebriated state. Caitlyn sighed, bridging the gap to her halfway through averted gaze. "... and I won't sit by to watch you suffer."

Vi ached at the memory of bitter words past exchanged, swallowing her pride and taking Caitlyn's hand to lean against her as her world spun viciously toward the bathroom.

---

If not for the pounding headache and wobbling vision, Vi would have been completely against the idea of being disrobed by Caitlyn. She could take care of herself, especially with something as simple as removing her garments, surely?

But against her better judgment, something indescribable came over Vi as Caitlyn lowered her into the tub; a haziness that differed from the fog of alcohol or the instant gratification of being knocked unconscious. Her mind was completely occupied in the present. She was captivated by the rushing sounds of the bathtub water, the smell of Caitlyn's rich perfume moving closer to her, and the smoky aftertaste that burned against her parched throat.

It felt.. safe?

Caitlyn wrung the washcloth, lathering what little was left of the shower gel to scrub at the buildup of dirt and stomach acid Vi had accumulated. With time, the water darkened to an inky pool, the smudges of Vi's face paint dripping across her worn muscles to collect below.

"...'M sorry." Vi's words fumbled in a whispered blur. A gasp reddened her clean and softened features, slowly eclipsing her face further into the tub. She could barely bring herself to look away from her reflection in the water. She must've sounded so pathetic.

"What?"

Caitlyn hesitated, noticing the change in Vi's demeanor sink further into the murky water. Not wanting to rouse the sheer embarassment that radiated off of her companion, Caitlyn continued to wipe at her tear-streaked complexion.

"That's alright, " she uttered, the warm fabric rubbing gentle circles into Vi's cheek. Caitlyn felt Vi collapse into her touch and exhaled a sigh of relief. Their heartbeats slowed, and as Caitlyn held Vi in her hands their eyes wove a tale that their mouths ceased to thread. Vi knew her thoughts betrayed her with each moment in Caitlyn's embrace, it pulled her deeper into that foreign hazy feeling through half-lidded expressions. The agonizing months of betrayal, longing, remorse, and forgiveness, exchanged in a glance.

----

The bed would barely compensate for the exhausted pair that collapsed atop the springs. Caitlyn met the harsh bedframe with a loud thud against her back, groaning and rubbing at the sore spot to shift into a less-than-awkward position. She lifted her beret above her head to rest it on the ledge above them.

Vi had found little resistance in curling into Caitlyn's arms and nuzzling further into the side of her neck. The taller and lankier woman couldn't help but chuckle at the situation she'd found herself in. Surely, this was the farthest outcome she could have expected when knocking on Violet's door. Nonetheless, the change was welcomed with open arms.

"Comfortable?" Caitlyn inquired with a grin, hands running through the dampened punch-pink hair. Vi's nose grazed the side of her neck with a shallow nod in reply. The light vibrations of her purring brought a feeling of peace to the enforcer's racing mind as she held her closer. Without giving it much thought, Cait placed a feathery kiss against her companion's head, allowing the warmth radiating off of her freshly bathed skin to envelop her.

This was the feeling she'd been searching for. Strenuous nights of being the Commander of Piltover came with the crushing weight of responsibility over the thousands of lives entrusted to her care. And, the conversation between them was far from over. Caitlyn could see this new side of Vi seemed far too vulnerable to engage in meaningful discussion of ending a war. But, at least for tonight, despite the faction lines, the hymn of the Undercity woman's mumbling made Caitlyn's heart soar. It was beyond the feeling of being needed; she was wanted. Relieved, she turned away from the glaring lights of the city, pulling Vi closer to her chest and the two succumbed to their soft slumber.

#cg! caitlyn #regressor! vi #arcane agere #arcane #fandom agere #agere fandom #agere fic #agere fanfiction #agere #age regression #sfw agere #sfw age regression #sfw agere blog #sfw age regression blog #embers writings

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buggyjuggie · 1 year ago

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Could you do Johnny, Kitana, Kung Lao, Syzoth, and/or Smoke w/ a reader who has a Katya Zamolodchikova type personality/sense of humour? I'm talking pure chaos, but with a loving and caring vulnerable side. :)

──★ ˙ ̟ Johnny Cage, Kitana, Kung Lao, Syzoth and Smoke x GN!reader with a Katya personality

Note: I watched so much rupauls drag race just for this request because i was so scared of getting something wrong oh god i really hope you like it also @rueschronic you saved me i love you bitch

「 ✦ Kung Lao ✦ 」

* SHIT TALKING DUO

* you and Kung Lao are competitive and like to show off both of you can walk into any place and all eyes are on yall

* Both of you lift each other up as much as you can because you and Kung lao both know what it feels like to put on a character/facade or joke around people even when your hurting on the inside or try to hide it to appear fine

* When you called him queen he wore that like a badge of honour

* He picks up your vocabulary extremely fast and manages to confuse everyone around him

「 ✦ Johnny cage ✦ 」

* THE duo not a duo it’s THE duo

* I feel like Johnny has wanted to try out more ,,feminine” things but due to holywood and it being looked down upon he hasn’t yet until you gave him reality check and remined him that no one cares (bitch)

* Like Kung lao you and Johnny have that one thing in common: a character. Both of you act a certain way and have built a character to show off to people. People know ,,Johnny Cage” but do they know John Carlton. As more time passes you and Johnny start working on tearing those walls down and showing your true honest selves of course without loosing those confident attitudes

* Clubbing, going out, after party’s all the time most weekends will be endend with you and Johnny at his house not knowing how you got back home but not really needing to know because you’ll be too busy cuddling one another

* Has definitely asked you to be stunt performer because he knows that you can strut your shit like a its a performance

「 ✦ Kitana ✦ 」

* You captured Kitanas attention right away

* Kitana enjoys her status and work as a princess of Outworld but it does become dull at points. The people being careful around her, underestimating her and treating her almost like a porcelain doll

* Not you tho you treat Kitana like a normal person, tell her things honestly and aren’t afraid of what she can do

* Kitana is very observant she sees that you hide behind jokes and when she finally confront you about you let eveything out. All the toughts of self doubt, anxiety are washed away with promises from her to protect you and keep you safe for as long as she is alive

* A lot of time with Kitana and you is spent sparring or you telling her about Earthrealm, languages and culture (Kitana is prob a history nerd sue me)

「 ✦ Syzoth ✦ 」

* He was enamoured by you at first sight

* Because of his zetteran liniage Syzoth understands your struggles. Wanting to be yourself but the world rejecting it deeming it ,,too much” or even distasteful. He assures you to the best of his abilities that he’ll never leave you and will stay by your side no matter what

* ,,mother? But im a man” ,,slay ? Slay what ?” Her a little confused when it come to slang but slowly starts to understand it

* If you do drag or are interested in drag TELL IT ALL TO THIS MAN. Syzoth absolutely loves learning about earthrealm its cultures and norms and how people express themselves

* You insulted him once in a joking way and he didn’t understand that you were joking and it ended up in a hugs and kisses session for like 30 min and a long as hell explanation

「 ✦ Smoke ✦ 」

* The walking definition of polar opposites

* Smoke is quiet ,reserved and introverted meanwhile your loud, not afraid to make a scene and get dirty and extroverted

* ,,Excuse me he asked for no pickles” you say as Smoke stands in the background like a wet puppy

* Smoke is the only person who knows about your anxiety’s he does his best to assure that you are loved for who you are

* If you do nails he’s constantly asking you to do his. Smoke just really enjoys having pretty nails that match with his beautiful partner

*. ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚

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thoughtsforsoob · 11 months ago

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txt - s/o who struggles with food

a/n: this going to be a very angsty work so please bear with me...i'm feeling very angsty these days. anyways, this hits a little close to home so I understand if you're not able to read this. please be kind to yourself. i'm always here to chat if you ever need anything. please enjoy.

warnings! I will be discussing ed's and food and everything within that realm so please read this at your own digression! (you're not alone. if you're going through something right now, please seek help. it can be hard but you've got this! I believe in you!)

Yeonjun

Yeonjun for sure takes a while to notice anything is ever happening. He just gets so busy with work that he forgets. Sometimes, he struggles to take care of himself for this reason so he can definitely understand the struggle of taking care of yourself enough. When he does find out, he does all he can to help you. He's really caring towards his partner.

By this point, Yeonjun hadn't seen in person for about 2 months. He was off on tour with the group. Of course, you two had facetime sessions when you two had a moment to spare but it still couldn't have prepared him for what he would face when he got home. The moment he arrived at the airport back home, he immediately asked to go back to your shared apartment. When he arrived, you met him at the door but the way you looked was very different. You appear thinner and it was quite obvious. Yeonjun tried not to make his reaction obvious but he couldn't help the way his eyes went wide when he laid eyes on you. You frown at him and after some talking, you spill about how you were so angry at yourself for the way you looked that you just kinda stopped eating right. Yeonjun makes it his mission to help you feel better and he helps you get back on track to eating enough like you did before.

Soobin

This section does mention making yourself vomit so please read with caution!

Soobin is also so good when it comes to comforting others. He gives the best hugs and always knows just what to say to help you feel better. when he finds out you're having trouble with your relationship with food, he is absolutely heartbroken. He hates the idea of you struggling with something that he feels should make you happy. He is always going to do whatever you need him to do so you can recover.

You and Soobin had been together for a few months now and everything was going really well. You both were very happy with one another and were getting along great. The only problem was that Soobin had no idea about your relationship with you. You would do your best to hide the fact that you were never able to get yourself to keep your food down. It made you feel so disgusted but Soobin had no idea. On this particular night, Soobin had come over to your apartment to eat dinner. You were usually able to run off after dinner under the guise that you needed to use the bathroom. Tonight, however, Soobin had become suspicious when you took longer than usual. He goes over to knock on the door but before he can even do that, he panics when he hears you crying and throwing up. He opens the door immediately and lets himself in. He looks really sad and even helps you clean up when you finally stop. You can;t help but open up to him when you see the pain in his face after watching you do this to yourself. He does his best to understand and help you get better, suggesting you talk to someone about this. He is really supporting you on your recovery journey.

Beomgyu

This one hits a little close to home 😕

he isn’t super observant about your eating habits but he definitely notices when the snacks start to kind of disappear from the pantry. And it wasn’t just them going like normal, they were going a lot faster than normal. You usually only go out shopping for snacks once a week but have been going every three days lately. It was worrying him. Not so much because he was worried you’d gain weight, not in the slightest. He was worried because he was thinking you were going through something and weren’t wanting to tell him.

When you get home from work one afternoon, you see him in the kitchen at the dinner table. You were so excited to see him since he was usually still at work during this time. He looked worried and he asked you to sit down, so you did. He didn’t beat around the bush and straight up told you about his observations. It made you feel angry at first. Why was he bringing this up? Did you gain weight? Was he calling you fat? But then he explained why he even brought it up and that he just wanted to help. You broke out into tears and told him all about what was going on in your life at the moment and how eating made you feel comfortable. He totally understood and offered to help you work through it in different ways since snacking wasn’t the best idea. You accept his help and it starts to feel better

Taehyun

How dare his pretty girl think she’s ugly? He just can’t fathom why you would starve yourself or even think that you’re not good enough for some reason. He always does his best to combat this by complimenting you as often as he can and making sure he keeps track of whether you’ve eaten or not. He knows it’s a little frustrating for you when he’s constantly asking you if you’ve eaten but it’s just before he cares and he doesn’t want you to get sick.

in this scenario…it was a few days until your wedding. you had been trying to hide it but you haven’t eaten much over the last week, causing you to feel weak. When the day finally came, you fainted as you were getting your hair done. Everyone in the room with you was panicking and they called taehyun to come help you wake up. He made sure to pick up some snacks from his dressing room and some water for you to drink. He had an itching feeling that you were starving yourself but didn’t want to accuse you of anything. When you wake up, he’s sitting over you with a worried look. “Oh dear. You’re awake. You had us all worried. I think I know why this happened though.” You had a guilty look on your face and he already knew what happened. He convinces you that you need to eat something now so you don’t feel weak on your guy's big day. He’s so proud watching you eat your snack and drink water and he makes his feelings known.

Huening Kai

He is very caring and sweet and always knows when something is wrong with his girl. He started to worry when it was Wednesday and he hadn't seen you eat or heard about anything you've eaten since Monday night. He knew it was only a day but he was so worried. He didn't want you to go without eating. luckily, he'd planned to hang out with you tonight after schedules! he picks up your favorite meal and drinks for you to eat when he arrives.

he gets there and knocks. when you open the door you hug him and give him a kiss hello but you kind of start to change in demeanor when you see the bags of food he had. you hadn't let yourself eat in the last two days and the sight of food was just too much for you at the moment. All you could think of when you tried to eat was being laughed at by a group of girls your age who were making comments of your weight when walking down the street. you finally break down and kai follows you, leaving the food at the table. He finally gets you to let him hold you, let him wipe away your tears. you tell him everything and he was so good at just listening. He coaxes you back to the table and even feeds you if it makes you feel more comforted.

#txt imagines #txt fluff #txt headcanons #txt x reader #txt reactions #beomgyu x reader #soobin x reader #yeonjun x reader #huening kai x reader #taehyun x reader

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magicalbats · 4 months ago

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Kinktober 2024 Day 16: Seth x Reader

Rating: R-18+

Word Count: 6721

Warnings: Afab!reader, leopard Thiren reader, rut/heat cycles, femdom, pathetic sub boy behavior, cock and ball milking, onahole, dildos, puppy pads, prostate milking, multiple orgasms, ABO adjacent? ABO inspired? idk

A/N: I'm late, I'm late for a very important date - with a needy, desperate cat boy 😩 Part of what went into this is I thought it would be cute to pair a snow leopard with a jungle leopard, and the other part is because I just enjoy topping boys and playing with their butts xcvnnbdekds

⭐

The sound of your doorbell going off brings your attention up to peer down the short hall in your apartment. You hadn’t ordered any packages as far as you could recall, and your neighbors very rarely had any reason to bug you. It probably wasn’t anything important then, you quickly decide.

And you almost ignore it in favor of returning to whatever you’d been looking at on your phone, but then the buzzer goes off again with a noted edge of desperation this time. Which was decidedly odd. How could a doorbell sound desperate? Perhaps even more pressing, who would possibly be seeking you out like this?

Quickly realizing they weren’t going to go away until you answered the door, you drop your phone on the couch cushions and push up to your feet. A few barefooted steps later has you turning the lock and twisting the handle, swinging the hinges inward only to find Seth standing on your front doormat.

Your brows shoot up in genuine surprise. Not only at his unexpected and sudden appearance, but also because of how absolutely miserable he looks. His usually pert ears are half folded over his skull, twitching slightly to accompany the faint shudder you can see making his shoulders lock up. Even more alarming is the fine sheen of sweat you can make out on his creamy skin and the rosy flush that stains his cheeks. It almost makes him look sick, and your frantic thoughts immediately go to hospitals, doctors and insurance forms.

Except … he shouldn’t have any reason to come to you when he was feeling under the weather.

Shaking off your initial surprise, you give him a closer look. “Seth? What are you doing here?”

“I’m sorry,” He murmurs in such a faltering, broken little voice that you immediately start to understand what’s going on before he even finishes speaking. “I know we broke up but I - I didn’t know where else to go. You’re the only one who can help me. Please, can I come in?”

You almost tell him ‘no’, because he was right. You and him had broken up. Well over a year ago now, in fact.

But for better or worse you’re not quite that heartless, and your tail gives a listless flick behind you as you step to the side. “Yeah, come on. Before one of my neighbors sees you and thinks I’m up to something nefarious.”

A wordless sound of relief rushes out of him as he quickly scurries past you to get inside the apartment, clearly glad to be out of the public eye where everyone knew him as Officer Seth Lowell. His current state of thinly veiled distress did not align with his usual persona as a capable policeman who was always happy to help with a great big smile at the ready, and you take a moment to surreptitiously glance around the hall to make sure none of your neighbors were watching you through a crack in their doors. If someone got suspicious about his behavior and your motives for letting him in there was a very good chance you’d soon find PubSec showing up at your doorstep next.

This was probably going to be awkward enough without adding more fuel to the fire.

Slipping back inside and locking the door again, you turn to look at where he’s partially hunched over the side of your couch now, clearly struggling just to stand. “God, you look like you’re drunk or something.”

“I’m sorry.” He says again, quietly groaning under his breath. “I swear I didn’t want to bother you like this but … you were the only person I could think of. I have to be careful about, nnghn, keeping my personal and work life separate. Can you help me? Like you used to.”

You hesitate to move from your spot standing just inside the doorway, knowing good and well that this would be inviting trouble you didn’t need. Burn everything, but you could even smell him from here.

It hadn’t been this obvious or quite so bad when he was still standing outside where the smells of city life could strongly intermingle with his scent. But in the closed space of your modest little apartment your keen nose practically floods with the sharp spike of arousal that is not yours, making your head feel fuzzy and inebriated. This was dangerous, and not only because he was your ex.

He’d trigger your own body’s natural instincts if you weren’t careful.

Even knowing that, you can’t bring yourself to watch him suffer and you slowly approach him with deliberately heavy footsteps to make sure he could hear you coming. You didn’t think Seth would ever fully lose control of himself enough to attack you or hurt you, but it was clear at just a glance that he was in bad shape.

Coming up alongside him, you can see his shoulders still trembling with the effort of keeping his rioting urges in check so you carefully reach out to slide your fingers underneath the soft fringe of hair hanging over his temple. Your spine immediately snaps ramrod stiff, sucking in a quick breath the moment you press them into the skin.

“You’re burning up. I haven’t seen you have a rut this bad in a long time.”

“I know.” Pitifully moaning, he tips his flushed face up to pin you with one of the neediest, wretchedly helpless looks you’ve ever seen in your life. “That’s why I can’t - I can’t go to anyone else for this. If I accidentally hurt someone … I’d never be able to live with myself. It has to be another Thiren who knows what it’s like.”

Your heart painfully wrenches at that, sympathy and old love for him making it feel like you’ve suddenly got a rock wedged in your throat, but you quickly pull away.

Rather defensively crossing your arms over your stomach now, you back up enough to put some space between you and him so you could think for a moment. Far be it that you didn’t understand where he was coming from. As a fellow Thiren, yes, and the complimentary jungle cat to his snow leopard, it did indeed make sense for you to give him a hand in his time of need. And a great need it was, by the looks of it.

But you had so much history together, a past that couldn’t be severed from either of your identities just because you’d agreed to go your separate ways. It hadn’t even been a bad breakup in the typical sense where fighting with each other and screaming were involved, and yet both of you had walked away from it feeling like you’d left a piece of yourselves with the other. You and Seth had talked about it before so you knew his feelings on the matter were the same as yours, but that alone wasn’t enough to mend a relationship. He was dead set on following in his older brother's footsteps as a PubSec officer and you just couldn’t reconcile the daily dangers he was putting himself in to accomplish that. Maybe if he was a little less headstrong and reckless about everything but …

Heaving a deeply bothered sigh, you grudgingly turn to look over at him again. He really did look unbelievably pathetic right now. And you’re aware of the exact moment your resolve starts to crumble as you watch his anxiously curled tail start to perk up slightly when he sees your attention is back on him. Dammit.

“Alright, I’ll help you. But,” You rush to emphasize your caveat before he can get too excited. “No sex. I understand the position you’re in here so I’m willing to help as much as I can. I have to draw the line somewhere though.”

“I understand.” He says on a terse, shuddering exhale that seems to visibly drain some of the uncertainty from his posture. “Thank you, thank you. I don’t know how I can ever repay you for this.”

“Don’t thank me just yet. Start getting undressed while I grab a few things real quick.”

Spinning on your heel, you don’t bother to check if he’s following your instructions or not before you disappear through the doorway that leads into your bedroom. Everything in the apartment is so compact that it only takes a handful of steps for you to reach your dresser where you kneel down to dig in the bottom drawer. Luckily you still had all the toys and supplies you’d kept on hand for moments not unlike this one, though you hadn’t exactly planned on using any of them on Seth again.

There were other Thirens in New Eridu, you know. Plenty of them in fact. Just because you hadn’t found any of them quite to your taste and had instead resorted to using some of these toys on yourself that didn’t mean you’d been holding out for this particular man to change his mind about his career choices.

Pausing halfway through the motion of pulling out his favorite onahole, you wonder what the hell you’re doing.

You’d need something to carry this all in.

Momentarily abandoning the dresser, you quickly dig in your closet for a tote bag you’d bought under the assumption of going green for the environment — what was even left of it after the Hollow Disaster — but had promptly forgotten about amongst all your other clothes and impulse purchases. You waste no time shoving everything you can grab into it, idly wondering where you’d even accumulated so many toys in the first place, before hurrying back out into the living room.

You find Seth standing at the corner of the couch in a timid little pose that was clearly meant to make him look smaller than he was. It’s not hard to see he’s deeply embarrassed about standing there naked with his aggressively rigid cock standing straight up off his body, already dribbling a thick bead of creamy discharge that glistens faintly in the overhead light. Your own instincts go absolutely haywire at the sight as much as at the unfiltered smell of him, but you valiantly shove it as far back into your mind as you can manage.

Cautiously walking over, you try to give him your best attempt at an encouraging smile but he refuses to glance up at you, much preferring to keep his eyes downcast. You think that might be for the best, actually, as you kneel down on the hardwood floor in front of the sofa to dig into the bag you’d carted out.

Thank your lucky stars you’d still had some of these on hand.

With a pointed rustle of thin plastic, you pull out a puppy training pad and make quick work unfurling it so you can lay it open across the floor. A second one follows, just to be safe, leaving a sizable square of your flooring protected from any accidents before you stand up to get resituated on the edge of the couch cushions.

It feels like your heart is going to jackhammer straight out of your chest at any given moment. And that wasn’t even mentioning how hot you suddenly felt, but you pause to take a deep, calming breath and ground your nerves, hoping you weren’t making some monumental mistake in doing this.

“Alright,” You finally intone. “Sit.”

Eagerly shuffling forward, Seth moves into the space you’d indicated with your finger where he gingerly lowers himself down to kneel beside you just on the corner of one of the training pads. He still insists on keeping his face averted from you though, and you think he would have looked the picture perfect definition of submission sitting there on his knees had it not been for the demanding flex of his weeping cock in his lap.

Or did that actually add to it?

Stop. You couldn’t think about that right now.

Trying very hard to ignore the decidedly awkward atmosphere between you and him, you eagerly reach down to dig inside the tote bag for a distraction. “I tried to grab everything I thought might be of use for this but just tell me if you want a specific toy in particular.”

“I’m sure whatever you picked is fine.”

“Okay …” Rapidly piecing together a haphazard plan of action in your head, you decide on a realistic, flesh colored dildo that’s longer than it is thick, leaning down to decisively smack the suction cup base on the hardwood floor to make it stick there. And as you start to lean back, intending to reach into the bag again, you catch Seth outright staring at you in wide eyed, hungry fascination.

“What?” You demand.

“Nothing.” He quickly murmurs, fidgeting slightly there on his knees. “I really appreciate you doing this for me. Feels like my head is going to explode.”

“Well, you certainly came to the right person for this. We ended up with quite the collection once everything was said and done, so at least I was prepared. Think you can give me a text first before you come over next time though?”

Seth’s pointed ears self consciously swivel back to lay almost flat against his skull, looking truly abashed. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. Do you want the onahole or the dildo?”

His head immediately snaps up. “Huh?”

You can’t quite keep the sly little smirk off your face now as you pull the silicone pocket pussy out of the bag to ruefully wag it at him. “I said, onahole or dildo? Which would you prefer?”

Whimpering a series of pathetic, borderline sniveling sounds, Seth nervously flicks his gaze between one toy and the other as if he really wasn’t sure which was going to make him feel better in that moment. You have a sneaking suspicion which he’ll ultimately choose though, and just as expected he finally sets his sights on the cylinder in your hand.

“Can I have … the pussy, please?”

He really was cute, especially when he was like this, and you just can’t stop yourself from teasing him a bit. “What do you say, Seth?”

A visibly violent tremor races through him, making the PubSec officer squirm at your feet as his tail wildly flicks out behind him in a jittery arc. “P - please, ma’am. Can I have the pussy, please?”

“Good boy. Of course you can.”

Thinking it almost a little odd how easily both of you were falling back into this old routine and these old roles that came with it, you lean to the side so you can brace your hand on the cushions and reach down with the onahole in the other. Immediately sucking in a sharp, over eager gasp at the sight of you bringing your hand close to him, Seth pushes up to fully balance on his knees in a stiff, halting pose that makes his cock jut out in offering to you.

He looks especially good like that, you think, all lean muscle and sveltly compact with his rigid length bobbing expectantly in the air. His nearest hand anxiously grabs at the cushion where yours is resting, almost like he wanted to reach out and take it, but he makes do with simply leaving them close together. He doesn’t seem to know what to do with the other and he finally settles on placing it across his own stomach, fingers digging into the flesh when he squeezes down. So desperate and needy that he just has to hold onto something.

In a past life it would have been your ankle he was clinging to while he impotently rutted his leaking cock over your stockinged foot. You’d also done the reverse on a few occasions, with you straddling his leg to grind your pussy over the bulk of one of his heavy boots until you came shuddering and whining low in your throat. It was only one of the many perks that came with dating someone who was happy to switch roles around.

You’re fully in control now though and Seth doesn’t even hint at trying to upset that balance when he all too easily could. He was pretty damn strong, after all, but he just noises a high strung whimper at you as he plaintively nudges his hips forward in a supplication gesture. Oh, you hated how much this was actually turning you on.

Silently reminding yourself to stay focused, you direct the opening of the faux pussy to his sticky tip and start to fit it over him at a leisurely, sedate pace. Despite how unhurried you are about it, Seth positively lurches there on the floor, his tight abdominals sharply flexing when he grunts a wounded little sound. He doesn’t move to pull away or protest despite the heightened sensitivity brought on by his mating drive, and you’re able to gradually take him into the silicone sleeve one inch at a time until you finally reach the base.

You don’t even have to move beyond that to have Seth dazedly swaying there, his narrow chest rapidly expanding with the near frantic breaths he pulls in. Just the simple sensation of a soft, fleshy substitute hugging firmly around his cock is enough to send him dangerously close to the edge, gasping a ragged sound that is suspiciously reminiscent of your name.

“Ooh, oohh, I’m gonna’ cum. Gonna’ cum. I’m - -“

Making no move to stop or help him, you merely hold the pocket pussy in place while he rapidly dissolves into a stiffly twitching mess of spasms right before your very eyes. He tips over almost immediately, narrow hips stiffly juddering while he throws his head back to softly yowl up at the ceiling. You can feel his cock wildly flexing inside the toy, even with a layer of firm plastic standing in the way, and you subtly squeeze your thighs together in response.

Yep, this was certainly dangerous.

“Oh god, oh god, mmmmnnnghn!” Reeling from the sheer force of his own release, Seth unsteadily bobs there on his knees as he starts to come down from that all too temporary high, drunkenly spinning his attention back around to you. “Thank you. Thank you, ma’am. Thank you!”

“What did I say earlier, Seth? Don’t thank me just yet.”

That’s all the warning you give him before you start to move your arm, pumping the pocket pussy from the base to the glans and then straight back down again. He outright seethes, trembling so fiercely it looks like he just might collapse right then and there, but he still doesn’t make any move to back off or shy away from it despite the no doubt painful rush of overstimulation.

Instead he actually leans his pelvis into it to fully offer up his cock to your mercifully unmerciful attention, which you’re all too happy to oblige. And now that he’s cum once, the interior sleeve of the toy is sufficiently lubricated to allow a smooth, easy glide as you move it along him at a vigorous pace. Your attentive gaze doesn’t miss the way thick, creamy clumps of white smear along his length to make a mess of him but he doesn’t seem to mind it and neither do you.

Other than the state of your floor, that is. This was a rental, you know, so you carefully reach over with your toe to nudge the crinkling puppy pad closer to him.

“Be careful not to spill, unless you want to clean it up with your mouth later.”

“Ohhhn! Aghh, aahh! I … nnghnn, oh god, I’m gonna’ - -“

And he does, just like that.

Shuddering so wildly this time you have to readjust your hold on the onahole to keep pumping it over him, Seth beautifully writhes there at your feet while he shoots yet more sticky spend into the cylindrical toy. He quickly becomes overwhelmed like this though and, lurching with a soul vacating wheeze, he blindly reaches out to snag at your wrist.

“Please, please, please,” He chants, screwing his eyes shut tightly enough to hurt. “Aaughh, it feels so good, just — give me a second.”

“But you’re still cumming, though.” You murmur, earning a deeply frazzled whine from him that seems to echo in the space between your ears, almost taunting you with it.

And he does indeed keep pumping jet after jet into the silicone pussy until it seems to fill up to its limit and it just thickly oozes out around him to wetly plop onto the absorbent pad instead. This was what he needed to get through this rut. Fully milked and emptied until some of that natural, instinctive drive to breed dissipated and with it so too did the influx of hormones. He’d be able to return to his usual state of mind much more quickly than if he’d been left to his own devices to deal with it on his own and, given just how much he was shooting off into the toy, you suspected this back up of fluid was in part to blame for his ruts staggering potency.

Wait a minute. A back up of fluid? Did that mean … he also hadn’t found anyone else he liked enough to date?

It probably made a certain amount of sense considering he’d come to you rather than anybody else for help with this, but there had been a small part of you that was half convinced he’d just meant he didn’t have any other Thiren he could go to. A regular human certainly wouldn’t have known what to do with him like this, after all. But given the amount of spend coming out of him it didn’t seem likely that he’d had sex at all in recent months. Maybe even almost … a whole year?

Watching Seth dazedly sway on his knees, still roughly gasping and groaning his pleasure into the apartment, you internally berate yourself for lingering on those kinds of thoughts. This was hardly the time.

Maybe you should give your arm a break so you could focus on something else for a moment.

Carefully releasing a wavering breath of your own, you slow the pumping motion of your hand to a gradual standstill, giving him plenty of time to savor the last few drags over his flexing cock. By the time you finally start to ease the pocket pussy all the way back to slide it off him, he’s made such a goopy mess of it that there were even clumpy beads of milky white clinging to the lips of the faux cunt to create a vague lather effect. You can see it faintly bubbling even from where you were sitting, and you softly click your tongue when he at last slips free of the toy with an obscenely loud, wet slurp that makes his hips give an involuntary jerk.

As he whines an overwrought sound that makes his chest sadly hitch, you reach further down to set the pocket pussy on top of the pad he’s kneeling on so some of that excess cum can safely run down the sides of it. Seth carefully watches you the whole time, his ears anxiously twitching when you sit back to reach into your handy tote bag again. Obviously this alone wasn’t enough to completely drain him so you were going to have to kick it up another notch.

“Turn around for me.” You murmur, feeling a pleased little spark light up in your chest when he just whimpers a frazzled sound before complying, getting himself spun around on the floor.

Without needing to be told, Seth obediently leans forward to brace on his hands and present himself to you with his legs spread wide. You don’t miss the eager curl of his tail as it arcs up to stand almost straight in the air or the anxious flicker it gives at the very tip. And between his legs his cock still heavily dangles, oozing a slow stretching thread of discharge onto the puppy pad underneath him. He hadn’t flagged at all despite having already shot off two loads and the creamy evidence of that was plainly visible on his skin.

With a generous bottle of lube now in hand, you lean down again to curl your unoccupied fingers under the fleshy sway of his ballsack and nudge up to gently cradle them. Even for as brief as the sensation surely must be, he still sucks in such a ragged, sharp edged gasp that you’d almost think you were hurting him.

You knew better than that though, perfectly familiar with the heightened sensitivity brought about by a Thiren’s mating cycle, and you allow yourself a moment to thoughtfully bounce his testicles in the palm of your hand. “Hmm. These are still quite full aren’t they? Haven’t you been tending to your own needs at all, Seth?”

Full on wheezing, he shudderingly arches his back while sliding his knees further apart to leave the full weight of his balls sitting firmly in your hold. “I’ve b - been busy …”

You softly click your tongue at that before pulling back to uncap the bottle, leaving his testes to pitifully hang there. “You should know better. Both of us are well aware how you get when you’re backed up.”

“I’m sorry.”

Ignoring his plaintive whining for a moment, you bring your freshly lubed fingers down to slide them through the crease of his petite backside, making him jolt as if you’d just electrocuted him. It’s because he’s a male in the prime of his life, and that instinctive drive to breed, breed, breed could only be sated with the regular emptying of his balls — though he doesn’t exactly look like one right now when he’s hungrily pushing back on your hand like a bitch in heat. That had been you on more than one occasion, in the exact same spot and in the exact same pose, but as a woman your subconscious urges tended to skew in the opposite direction of wanting to be bred, bred, bred.

It’s only your (mostly) clear head and the iron willed self control you’re desperately clinging to that keeps you from losing hold of yourself as you slip your pointer finger right into the center of his sticky pink hole and slowly slide it in. It’s getting harder and harder to keep your wits about you the more Seth’s potent cocktail of pheromones and adrenaline, sweat and semen floods your senses but you just keep reminding yourself that the two of you were no longer together. There wasn’t going to be any breeding done today.

And his ass readily accepts the intrusion, granting your finger entry with only the slightest bit of resistance which the copious lubricant takes care of quickly enough. You dip into him straight down to the knuckle and he jerks his head up to keen a frantic sound. Upon giving the digit a brief wriggle to test the give of his inner sleeve you promptly deem him ready for another and carefully slip out so you can then push in with two.

The faintly raised rim of his entrance greedily clings to you between the sporadic pulsing squeezes of his guts, trying to suck you in deeper and deeper. There’s only so far you can go though, and in an attempt to give him even some relief you curl the fingers down to insistently rub against the tender spot inside him.

“Oohh! Aauughhn, aahh! P - please!” He gasps, immediately giving in to the full bodied spasms that tear through him as his shuddering hips weakly flex under your ministrations.

Feeling hyper aware of just how sticky you were getting between the legs, you carefully set the lube aside on the floor where it wasn’t likely to get knocked over so you can reach your hand out to grab his bobbing cock. Giving it a tight squeeze that makes him mindlessly buck, you set in to attack him from both sides. While you work him open to ensure he’s sufficiently stretched with one set of fingers, the others drag down his stiff length in a demanding jerk to make his heavy balls bounce against your wrist.

It hardly comes as a surprise that he cums embarrassingly quick, and you let out a trembling breath while you watch him shoot jet after jet of that milky white substance onto the puppy pad. It quickly starts to gather in a sticky, sopping wet puddle underneath him the more he keeps cumming, and as long as you continue to massage over his prostate he doesn’t show any signs of stopping soon.

You can tell that it rapidly becomes too much for him though, his quaking shoulders dramatically hunching upward while his lower body twitches a wild, unsteady rhythm to match the hot pulses of cum that shoot out of him. His heaving gasps and groans soon take on a dire tinge as well and you finally decide to give him a moment to breathe, slowly sliding your fingers out to leave his puffy asshole needily clenching around nothing. You let go of his cock too, letting him tremble though the last of the spasms and dribble out whatever bit of semen he still had left.

God, it smelled like a Thiren brothel in here.

Struggling to shrug off the coaxing pheromones coming from him, you take a moment to glance down at the absorbent pad again. He really had cum a lot.

“Here,” You murmur, stretching your hand out to grab a corner of the square and gently tug on it. “Let’s get these switched out before we have a spill, okay?”

Swaying dizzily on his hands and knees, it seems to take Seth a long beat to realize you were even talking to him and another moment longer for him to understand what you were saying.

Groaning a threadbare little sound, he gingerly moves to crawl off the training pad so you can slide it away from him and off to the side before replacing it with the clean one. You take care to position it directly in front of the dildo you’d suctioned to the floor, making sure it’s close enough before straightening back up to look over at him again.

The pitifully flushed, bottom-lip-warbling expression staring back at you very nearly crumples whatever lingering bit of resolve you still had left. Not only was he going to be the death of you at this rate, he was also going to slowly wear you down until you finally gave in to the demanding pulse between your thighs. Worst of all, he wasn’t even consciously trying to do it.

Your feelings for him as much as your instinctive urges compel you though, and you quickly busy yourself with squirting a healthy dollop of lube over the waiting tip of the upright dildo so you don’t have to think about it too hard. It was already much too late to start getting cold feet now.

“Alright, come here. Let’s get you situated.”

Seth doesn’t need to be told twice and he quickly drags himself closer to kneel between the spread of your feet. He stares up at you like a needy, hopeful stray the whole time but you decide you just can’t take much more of that at the moment so you reach out to nudge at his shoulder.

“Spin around for me, handsome. It’ll be easier for me to take care of you this way, won’t it?”

Head bobbing a delirious nod, he obediently complies and gets himself turned to give you his back. The puppy pad rustles softly every time he moves before going quiet again when he eases himself into the cradle of your thighs with a faltering exhale.

You take a moment to lean over him and ensure the pad is where it needs to be before redirecting your hand to wrap around the base of the dildo so you can hold it steady. At your gently spoken command, Seth nudges himself up to balance on his toes so you can guide the silicone phallus to his loosened entrance. It catches in the fleshy wrinkle easily enough and as he starts to lower himself down, taking more and more of the stretch into his body, you eagerly watch the way his still achingly erect cock flexes at the penetration, swaying slightly before standing straight up again. You can even see a throbbing vein standing out along the side of his shaft, further tugging on your sympathy for him as you reach for the onahole again.

Practically sobbing as he settles on top of the dildo, Seth somewhat awkwardly spreads his legs further apart to really leave the full brunt of his weight centered over the fake cock while he watches you bring the pussy toy close. And his tail restlessly whips around your leg to indicate his excitement but he can’t quite seem to find his voice anymore to speak.

He just whimpers and seethes, chest stuttering with the hiccuping breaths he drags into his lungs. Sliding your unoccupied hand down across his shoulder, you locate one of his pert, pink nipples and start to flick it back and forth while you work on fitting the silicone cunt over his tip again.

“Shhh. Just relax. Deep breaths for me, okay? I’ve got you.”

The imitation slit spreads open for him at the insistent nudge of your hand and grants him entry to slide into the sticky, goopy mess he’d already made. He throws his head back, full on wailing a ragged sound now while his hips uncontrollably judder the deeper he slides into it. Once again torn between two equally unrelenting stimuli, he sways drunkenly between your legs and stiffly rocks back against the dildo wedged inside him to bask in the pressure on his guts.

Your own breath starts to come a little quicker watching him writhe in place like that, almost as if there was a symbiotic bond present that was mirroring his pleasure right back at you, but you grapple with yourself not to get distracted. Gripping the cylindrical toy so hard the knuckles hurt, you begin working it back and forth over him to a wet, sloppy schlucking sound that instantly has his toes curling tight.

So caught up in gradually drawing him back to that hazy edge of oblivion, you almost don’t even notice your own tail wrapping around to curl possessively across his chest. It’s only when you feel the brush of fur against your fingers, still mercilessly flicking at his fatly swollen nipple, do you catch what you’re doing. It very nearly manages to surprise you, the rhythm of your wrist wavering for a split second, but you don’t stop long enough to question it.

You just keep sliding the onahole up and down, up and down, again and again until Seth cums once more with a lilting, higher pitched moan than his usual. It’s easy to tell he’s getting uncomfortably sensitized and over stimulated by it all but you know you have to keep going. If you didn’t and then sent him on his way, there was a very good chance he’d quickly succumb to the mindless urges of his rut again, and probably be all the worse for it.

This was only going to work if you completely drained him, which was exactly why the dildos you’d grabbed came in handy. His prostate needed to be thoroughly milked to ensure you got every last drop out of him to simulate a completed mating cycle and stop the production of his pheromones. It’s the exact same process that would have happened if it was your pussy taking him in deep and sucking noisily at his throbbing length. If you were the one he was shooting his load into, the two of you probably would have been tangled up in each other for at least another day given how backed up he is.

If it was you …

“Oohn!” The sound that abruptly spills right out of your mouth catches you completely off guard and, uncontrollably shuddering, you scoot to the very edge of the cushions to press your cunt into his back. Your hand keeps working though and you stare at it as if you were transfixed, watching the bubbly clumps of semen run down his cock to tangle in his pubic hair. It felt like you were right on the edge of cumming too but that shouldn’t have been possible. You’d pointedly ignored every little twinge and aching clench in your body for a reason, and yet …

Rousing himself at the sensation of you desperately rubbing yourself against his spine, Seth tips his head back to blearily peer up at you through the heavy, inebriated fall of his lashes. “B - baby?”

“Oooh nooo …”

Sucking in a wet, half stifled breath, you squeeze your arms tighter around him to desperately clutch Seth against you and screw your eyes shut while you stiffly grind yourself against him. It’s an incredibly awkward thing to do in this position, especially when your hand was still mindlessly pumping at his cock, but you couldn’t stop. You just couldn’t.

Not one or the other, or any of it, and you finally tip over the edge with a savory stutter of your hips, dropping your face into his hair so you can seethe and groan your pleasure into all that silky soft excess. It doesn’t even really feel all that good when your pussy was pathetically clenching around nothing and yet it hits you so hard and so fast that it almost makes your eyes roll back into your head.

This couldn’t be happening. Even when you know damn well that it is, you still try desperately to convince yourself that it’s not.

But you feel a little too intoxicated, a little too high on the dizzyingly potent fog of pheromones and the overwhelmingly sharp smell of sex in the air to truly fight it. Rumbling one last reluctant sound of bitter pleasure, you finally give in and lean your weight into Seth from behind.

He tries to fight it at first but he’s even weaker than you are at the moment, and both of you are soon sliding forward to sprawl out across the floor in a heaving pile of limbs, hardwood be damned. You really can’t bring yourself to care much about that when your cunt was screaming at you, begging to be stretched and filled, and relentlessly bred.

You’d known perfectly well how dangerous this was and now look. You were starting to slip into heat because of him. Dammit Seth.

“Okay, look,” You finally manage to wheeze, struggling to sit up on top of his back. “I promise this doesn’t mean anything but — I can’t take it anymore. I’ll let you fuck me if you want. Please fuck me. I want your cum, I need it.”

Issuing a disoriented, foggy groan, he shifts underneath you to look back over his shoulder, panting just as heavily as you are now. “Wh - are … are you serious? You said - -“

“I don’t care what I said.” Hissing through your teeth, you reach down to grab a fistful of that enviously soft hair, fingers closing at the root so you can yank his neck back at an angle that can’t be comfortable. “Please, Seth. If you don’t fuck me right now I’ll — I’ll never forgive you. You caused this and now I need you to take responsibility before I … I - -“

You abruptly startle when you feel his tail come up to twine around yours, locking the two of you together for as long as you were willing to let it happen. And even for as brief as the gesture is, it has its intended effect of temporarily soothing you, giving you a chance to suck in a much needed lungful of air. It would have felt even better if the space inside your tiny apartment wasn’t completely inundated with the buzzing smell of him.

“Alright,” He cautiously rattles out when he sees you stiffly relaxing into his touch. “We can do it but … nghnn, like you said. It doesn’t mean anything. It’s just sex. Are you still on birth control?”

“Of course I am.”

“Great. Let’s go then.”

⭐

Crossposted: here

#zenless zone zero #seth lowell #seth x reader #self insert bullshit

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