#i'm a little paranoid

[ihateornithologists]

actually maybe at spme point i'll make a side blog for all my TOO PERSONAL whining etc and try to delete half of that shit from here.. cause i'm too tired of feeling guilty for oversharing even though the chance that people i've ever mentioned here will see this is VERY low but still idk i'm feeling like i'm an asshole

[canisalbus]

Wait, holdup. Are you telling me that modern AU Machete used to smoke? Can we have more information on this, please?

Although a cigarette between his fingers might fit his silhouette, I can't imagine Machete smoking. Isn't he a health and hygiene freak?

He started smoking as a sad and disillusioned teen, mostly because some of his mature and edgy friends smoked and he wanted to seem mature and edgy as well.

First and foremost it was a way to manage stress, it gave him an impression that he was at least somewhat in control of his nerves. He does have a lot of health/hygiene anxiety, but he tried to justify it to himself by claiming that since he's so diligent and careful about everything else, surely he can afford to have this one bad habit that he's already familiar with. He wasn't proud of it, he knew perfectly well how smoking was objectively harmful, but he's fairly skilled in keeping himself in denial about things he's unwilling to contemplate. Also he's an extremely routine oriented person and it really rustles his jimmies when his daily rituals and personal coping mechanisms are tampered with.

I think he finally managed to quit for good some time after getting together with Vasco. Mostly because he had to start thinking about himself and his life in a new light and it made him painfully self-conscious about the whole thing. He was worried about smelling off-putting, tired of not being able to keep up with him physically and just generally guilty and embarrassed about being potentially annoying and unpleasant to be around.

[screwpinecaprice]

Of course they'd be jumpin on a pile of leaves, it's basically mandatory.

[hauntingjasper]

We need candy Marshall and vampire Gumball!!!

Waow okay anon imma give you a lil concept, sorry for making you wait too long 🥹

My current takes on Candy Prince Marshall Lee and Vampire King Gumball

[neverpathia]

crappy rant/analysis about the Voice of the Paranoid because I'm very normal about him

with that said.

It's pretty clear that he's not just scared. Anxiety isn't his only personality trait, and the game makes it incredibly prominent that he's no helpless victim. He's a starved animal backed into a corner, straining his chain thin, clawing and biting. He's desperate and frantic and charging at it all with nothing left to lose.

But I don't really think people talk about his spite and resentment as much, and it's a little surprising given how much he moulds it to his advantage. Still, he's not just sassy for the hell of it: he genuinely hates what he's being forced to do. He's incredibly frustrated. He's very, very done with your bullshit—and that includes his own bullshit too, because he's the scared part of you (Quiet) that turns your fears into reality.

So he despises everything that he's being put through (by you, himself and the other voices), and I think he definitely despises the rest of the Quiet to some extent. He's mainly driven by sheer desperation, but petty spitefulness is also very much involved—in Nightmare, he gets very quick to snipe at Hero despite having a job to do. He even prolongs the argument for a while before Narrator urges him to resume the chant.

And I think that just like the Contrarian, the Paranoid hates what he himself is too. Granted, @/sssilverspades and @/salty-an-disco brought this up, but all the voices probably have that same capacity for self-loathing and I think he's no exception.

He's the most perceptive voice, but at the same time he twists his perception against himself a lot. He's the reason Nightmare happened. He's the reason his fears manifest. And given how quick he was to figure stuff out in Cage and Apotheosis, I think he'd figure that his biggest problem by then was himself.

It's because he's not okay that they could stand a chance against Apothy...but it's also because he's not okay that she happened in the first place. He's very far gone here. At that point, there wasn't much left for him to do but pretend it all away—just a dream, just a dream—and shut his fears off.

He wants it all to be over with, which is especially apparent at the end of Apotheosis's Grace ending, or at the beginning of Nightmare-Wraith. He's doing what he can and keeping it going, but it's not because he wants to. It's because it's the only thing he's even capable of doing anymore. And it's turning him bitter, turning him resentful.

This is what you've done, and he's a part of you. He's regretting and atoning just as much as he's fighting, yet it's what he must do.

Let's not completely rid him of accountability, by the way, which is another thing I wish fandom acknowledged more. You often get him by abandoning the Princess and denying her what she wants. This is what you did: what he did from beneath you. And he's suffering for his own actions.

This is what fear does—it's perfectly natural to be scared and anxious, but you're not the only one it affects. Let it fester, and you lock yourself in. Let it fester, and you hurt yourself more and more. Let it fester, and you lash out against this hurt. Let it fester and you turn others as hollow as you've become. Fear helps no one. All you can do is amend and atone, which in a way is kind of what he ends up doing sometimes. Or you get Moment of Clarity.

As much as I love him, it's a bit hard to see people just praising him for being the goat (even though he is lol) because of how much he helps. Yes, he's a very useful voice. But he's the very reason he has to be useful, not that he even wants to be here.

I might just be completely misinterpreting his character here, though.

[antiadvil]

also it's fucked up to say that septiplier is the most obvious case of rpf gone wrong, dan and phil worked hard for that label

"imagine if someone was writing fic and drawing ship art of you and your mutuals" that would slay actually mutual polycule fic when

[everestgale]

I bring silly gals! And by that, I mean that I wanted to draw my human lads with more feminine features <3

The drawings in order are: Hero, Cold, Opportunist, and Paranoid!

...also of course Hero is the only one who gets a colored reference, that's very on-brand for Everest at this point /lh

...also-also, Cold got long hair like that just because I wanted to give him Spectre's long hair. And so I did!

...also-also-also, Oppy reminds EG of their OC, who has very similar clothes style, similar hair, and starts their story quite Oppy-coded. I think someone is projecting their OCs onto voices again... eh, sure, why not!

[samanitamusc-art-ia]

Funguary Day 5 - Enoki

"Running low on spores? The Enoki are happy to trade in secrets. But be careful what you disclose - the hivemind is quite the gossip."

[taintedsoul-if]

I'm slowly falling in love with my writing again. Life is short. Don't only just remember the things that bring you sadness; learn to seize the day because tomorrow is never truly guaranteed. 🫶

So please take a look at what I've been working on. I haven't started coding as yet; I heard Dashingdon is going down... well it did disappear, I think; I'll have to check. I won't make any plans because I know myself, so the switch over to CoGDemos is in the works, soon, hopefully.

And.....

The finished product would include codes and whatnot. And I'm trying to remember what Atticus usually calls the MC...

Also, thanks to everyone who slid into my ask box to notify me of this change. I'm sorry I wasn't able to get back to you all immediately. I just wanted you guys to know I saw your asks, which was greatly appreciated. ☺️

And I need to stop disappearing. 😂

[fayeandknight]

I will say up front that I have zero proof this was anything more than a coincidence and my own paranoia.

But

I always bring Forte when picking up a fb marketplace purchase and I'm really glad that I do.

I've been keeping an eye out for wire crates that are 30in or taller because I like for my boarding dogs to have ample room and the wire means I can look in on them on my camera.

Anyway I messaged someone about such a crate and they were close (20 minutes) and available today. I suggested a public shopping center near them. They suggested a public building that's closed. I countered with the public library that was just a few buildings over but open. They agreed, we set a time, and I loaded up Forte to go meet them.

I always try to get to a location about 10 minutes early for a few reasons, one of them being that I can have Forte out of the car and waiting with me when whoever arrives.

So I'm there in the parking with Forte waiting when this person, who's profile is that of a young woman, tells me that they're actually away at college and their dad will be delivering the crate. I'm a little uncomfortable with this information being last minute but give them the benefit of the doubt in this either being true or their own safety precaution.

As I'm answering that I'll be there with my well trained dog and should be easy to spot two SUVs pull into the lot and park a little bit away from each other. They both sit there for about two minutes before leaving. No one got out, they didn't use the book drop, no one came out to them. They both just sat there for a bit and left. Shortly after I get a message apologizing that her dad can't make it and can we reschedule for tomorrow and have me pick it up from their house nearby.

At this point my PTSD brain is screaming so I just politely declined saying I'd found a crate to pick up today and thanks anyway.

Again, everything could be a coincidence and this person had no ill intentions. But I'd be lying if I didn't admit that I'm glad I bring Forte to stuff like this. He's not a protection dog, but he sure looks like he could be. And sometimes a visible deterrent is enough, especially if someone is looking for an easy target. So maybe it was all an honest mishap, but maybe I dodged some sketch shit but either way I'm glad to not have found out.

[rosurie]

rambling? a statement if you will ♡

I'm doing some redesigning. I briefly mentioned why in a reblog with the updated version of some designs but I wanted to just make a post to clarify [let me note that this was a post that was decided by both me and Dollya so please don't think I felt forced into it, it was actually something I had already planned on doing before speaking with Dollya]

but back to the redesigning! why am I redesigning? partially because I'm indecisive and mostly cause i realized that i was heavily referencing designs i liked and that didn't sit well with me. I'm specifically referring to Dollya's [ @dollya-robinprotector ] design for fem Robin and Fray's [ @fraternum-momentum ] design for Syd and old design for male Robin. not only did it make me feel gross once i actually sat with it but it's super disrespectful towards the artists, even if it wasn't my intention. you may notice that I've deleted some posts, for example my "welcome to dolville" post, and that's because I am currently redesigning. I'd rather not still have those old designs lingering around on my blog, not just for their sake as two artists I really love but also my own. these old drawings with these designs were always going to be taken down post my realization that I was basically just copying and pasting what I saw on my feed from these two onto my own designs.

I've actually spoken with both Dollya and Fray about this situation. we're okay now! though they'd both be perfectly in the right to be upset with me, they were both very calm and nice about the situation so I'd like to thank them [again lol. I just know y'all must be tired of me thanking you and saying sorry. also Fray, don't worry I'm not beating myself up over this ♡ but thank you for worrying. the posts were going to come down regardless lol] this is unfortunately probably not the first time I've done something like this, the only difference being that no one saw it before because it was artwork I never bothered posting and I ended up changing the designs again when I did start posting. it's not from a place of malice, honestly most of the time I don't even realize I'm doing it for a bit, but it's still like shitty behavior. so I felt Fray and Dollya both deserved an apology. plus Dollya and I both thought a clarification was needed for people who follow me and for their sake [and for future reference because this sort of situation I'm sure isn't uncommon, in fact Dollya told me how common it was for her].

anywho thank you guys for reading and sorry for the long post but it was necessary ♡

tldr I took down some old posts because I was basically just copying designs and I hated it as well as the designers. and Dollya and Fray were both very understanding of my dumbassery ♡

edit note: I hope this doesn't come across as me trying to make excuses, because I'm not. I engaged in shitty behavior and I own that.

[mohntilyet]

DATV Spoilers Just in Case!) I’ve seen a head canon floating around that when solas puts a mage!Rook in the regret prison, it tranquilizes them. What do you think Viago’s reaction to this happening to a Crow!Rook would be?

i think there's a small terrible part of viago that instinctively thinks it was a bad investment/solution to send rook off with varric, since he's lost one of his best assassins. and then of course he hates that this is his first reaction because rook is more than that to him, but he's been conditioned by their lives to worry about his power and the mission first. and then i think he throws himself into trying to prove that he is a better man than that by finding a cure, without being obvious about it, even if his worry actually makes him messier and obvious. a similar outward reaction to what i've seen people headcanon about how he feels when he gets the news that rook is stuck in the fade trap in general (anger, determination, frustration, etc)

the idea of viago as a man who clings to "i rose to this rank for a reason, above the other crows. i'm a killer but with my poisons, i'm cleaner. i'm royalty. i'm better." is so beautiful to me. who he wants by his side/publically allies with is made more interesting to me for that reason. rook and teia make a very short list, so for him to lose either of them (especially to a fate worse than death. like i know there's a cure but i'm not sure if that's common knowledge and it has rammys bro) will inevitably cause a crash out the likes of which thedas may have never seen before <3

[viideo-kidd]

screaming, crying, throwing up - I'm doing a big relisten of Magnus Protocol Season 1 and I forgot how cute and sweet Sam and Alice were together before everything went to shit 😭🤧

[lorethebookworm]

Me ,myself and I going to the library 🤝 being overcome by the Neil Josten urge to sit facing the entrance and NEVER with my back to it

[monstermoviedean]

if you have a good vibe/kind thought to spare and could send it my way. i'd really appreciate it.

[butterfly-ribbon]

if anyone cares a while ago i made a playlist of all niigo content available (main story, focus events, mixed events, commissioned songs, and cover songs, etc.) and i update it pretty regularly whenever new stuff comes out. i made this for myself but if you're like me and can't be bothered to download a gacha mobile game this might be convenient for you too.