#i'll send the message into your dms to tell you everything i think about you later���

[rjshope]

Namseok through the years for @raplinenthusiasts ✨

+bonus:

[doodlebeeberry]

It's OSC gift exchange number 4, baby!!

Thats right folks!!! once again so so excited to host the gift exchange, hopefully itll be yet another fun one! :D

doing things slightly differently this year: if you wanna join you can just fill out this google form! You can also still join by replying/reblogging/dming me with what you'd like if you prefer to do it that way though.

Rules, dates, and details are all under the cut (and also in the form), please read them through fully before joining!!!

Entries close November 28th at midnight (est)!

For those not in the know, the gift exchange is just what is sounds like! Upon joining, you tell me what you like to see in you gift. After, you'll be randomly assigned a giftee, and will make a gift for them based on what they've requested. When the day comes, you'll post your gift and @ the person it's for!

The timeline this year looks like this:

Nov. 7-Nov. 28: Join the gift exchange by filling out this form, dm-ing me, replying, or tagging this post with what you'd like to receive. You can ask for anything--shows, ships, ocs, whatever! Additionally, if there's anything you dont want to see or can't make (ie, ships that make you uncomfortable), you can make a note of that as well

Dec. 1: I'll let you know who you've been assigned and what they'd like! This'll most likely be done through tumblr dms, so if that's an issue do let me know!

Dec. 1-30: You make your gift! This can be anything, from art to writing to music and more! so long as you follow your giftee's request, the possibilities are endless!

Dec. 31: Post your gift, being sure to @ the person its from! Please do not post your gift before this date!!!

Some other things to note:

You can request anything--shows, characters, ships, etc--just please make sure they are osc related! it is an osc gift exchange after all

Asking for OCs is very much allowed, just be sure to provide me with a reference when you join

in regards to things you can't do, please do note that "i haven't seen x show so i wont do it" or "i'll only do requests for x show" are not being treated as valid requests in this context, so i won't guarantee them. also please remember that giftees are assigned randomly.

If your giftee requests more than one thing, you aren't obligated to fulfill all of their requests if you don't want to. Just be sure to do one of them and you're good!

If you need to drop out for any reason, that is completely ok, it happens! just please be sure to let me know ahead of time so I can re-assign your giftee!

On that note, if you have reason to believe you will be unavailable or otherwise unable to post your gift on the 31st, please be sure to tell me so we can work something out! Additionally, if you can't reach out on tumblr (say, your blog gets deleted) you can also poke me on bluesky (@ bumblebeeberry) or discord (thatonegaycat) about it

You can not join anonymously! I just don't think it'd fair to your giftee

While I highly doubt I will need to, I can bar you from participating if I deem it necessary. Again, unlikely, but in the off-chance it does happen I will message you to let you know, pretty please do not yell at me if I do

Not a requirement but when I send you your giftee if you could just let me know you saw the message i would greatly appreciate it!

As per usual I'll be tagging everything with #osc gift exchange, feel free to use it on your gift as well!

That's it! if you have any questions, comments, notes, what have you, please don't hesitate to dm me! :]

[bonefall]

Clan Culture Illustrations

So I've been mentioning this in passing, and I think now is a good time to start collecting info from people who are interested!

I'm seeking artists who want to draw stuff for my Clan Culture series.

I often write very large guides for things like tools, ecology, medicine and treatments, etc, which then get held up by the fact that they're big blocks of text without any fun pictures. I usually collaborate with friends and family, but I could put out more quicker if I had some artists on standby.

If you're an artist who would be interested in illustrating, here's the details;

Everything I make on this blog is tailored towards WC fans, but free for anyone to use and reference for their xenofiction worldbuilding projects. You do not have to be intimately familiar with the Warrior Cats books. This offer's open to anyone above 18.

Fans of Better Bones are preferred, because Clan Culture and BB often intersect. I might ask for help with some BB stuff at some point, too. (for example i have a guide on types of StarClan spirits that needs illustration)

To re-iterate, please only inquire if you're 18+

Price range is 20 - 50 USD and turnaround time can be up to 6 months if you just keep me updated. (I am sorry that I can't offer a higher price for these, but this is coming from my own pocket. In return, this is meant to be low pressure)

Half payment upfront, the rest after completion.

I will never "assign" you a surprise mystery topic (unless you ask for that I guess?), I'll either present you with a list of posts that need illustration (yes this means you get to read stuff early), OR float some ideas that play to your strengths and interests. (for example: if I'm approached by Spider-Enjoyer-9000 who's willing to draw a ridiculous number of spiders, I will draft, write, and research a Clanmew Expansion in the style of Deer and Co or Moths and Butterflies.)

Either way, there's usually a lot of creative freedom here unless I need a specific technical drawing, which I will discuss with you and provide references for. (As an example, if we were talking about a post on declawing, I might ask for you to illustrate the muscles within the paw.)

The nature of Clan Culture means you will probably be asked to draw plants, food, objects, and/or scenery

Still interested?

I'm hoping to make a personal "list" of people I can call on, so send me your commissions info or details in a DM, an ask, a reply to this post, or anything else you'd like. Tell me about stuff you like drawing, topics you're interested in, if you can draw backgrounds, etc

Also, please tell include in that message if you're comfortable with illustrating these particular sensitive topics. These are opt-in only;

Medical Gore (Woundcare, stitching, blood, vomit, urine, parasites and bug bites, etc.)

Reproductive Care (Abortion, birth, pyometria, inducing lactation, possible revamp of the HRT guide including simple surgeries, etc)

Hunting and Butchery (Humane killing of prey, skinning, disembowelment, cutting meat, making sausage and blood pudding, etc)

Funerals and Animal Death (Sad kitties, dead battle cats, scavengers and grave desecration, tombs and burial rituals, concealing decay, etc.)

The end art will always stay tasteful, but I might need to give you references in the form of real images or tutorials that might be upsetting if you're sensitive to these topics-- so it's important to me that I consider those four things "opt-in."

I have plenty of other posts that need illustration, it's just a huge plus if you're able to do these too.

(You should also mention any other specific triggers or phobias you have, so I don't unwittingly come at you with something else upsetting)

"I still have questions!"

Putting a big list of answers beneath the cut;

"Would everything have to be colored?"

Nope, as long as there's pictures to break up the text, you can do sketches, black and white, flat colors, only put color in the header, etc. We'll discuss expectations with the post in front of us, and then agree on price.

I have ONE requirement; it's gotta look good on Tumblr darkmode. Because I use Dark Reader.

"Do you have a Discord?"

I do, I just try to be exclusive with who I give it to! When we're discussing details, we'll probably move over there if you'd like. This is a reason why I only want to work with 18+ artists, I'm not always SFW on main.

"Can we do an entry together about (specific topic)?"

Probably yes, so feel free to ask! The worst that will happen is that I say no, or maybe later. For example, I've got a post on Sweetness Tolerance reserved for my partner (they like to draw sweets), so I would say no if you asked.

Just keep in mind that researching, outlining, and writing is unpaid labor I'm doing completely for free. I have posts mostly done that just need art, and topics I've done some research on. Please only ask for special collaborations from scratch if you're serious 🙏

"Does it have to be digital?"

You'd have to have a WILD idea for me to say yes to anything non-digital, but I am a queer of whimsy. If you can whimsify me with an idea, hell yeah.

"Will I be compensated if you need any changes?"

Yes. If I spring anything on you after the details we agree on, I will first ask you, then ask how much that change would cost, and then compensate you for it.

As fair warning though, I am trying to stay within a budget and writing the posts themselves is unpaid work I do (plus occasional helping hands during research stages, I consulted a friend who is an irl wetlands expert for ShadowClan's environment). I can't pay more than what we agree on.

"Can I link my info in the post?"

Yes. "Guest Artist" is going to be named in the opening paragraphs, along with any fundraiser, shop info, carrd, etc, you want there.

"Boosty?"

Yea I got Boosty. Paypal, too.

"I have some other question about pricing"

Feel free to ask, but my hard budget is 20$ - 50$ US. Please only inquire if you're willing to charge within that range.

"What if I'd do it free or I want to do this anonymously?"

I'll donate to a charity of your choice and link to it in the post. If you have no charity preference, I will link to RAINN, Anera, or The Trevor Project.

(Naturally this comes with an anti-ghoul caveat or two. If you try to get me to donate to something like Autism Speaks I will rotate every bone in your body by 45 degrees.)

"I like checklists, can you give me a checklist of info you want in a DM?"

Sure!

Your info; socials, carrd, shop, etc

General interests and strengths. Stuff you'd love to work on, or have insight to. If you like fishing or drawing bugs, I want to know that. If you particularly want to practice flowers, tell me. Be as detailed as you want so I can pair you with a relevant subject!

Your examples

General asking price (or charity)

Which, if any, of the four Opt-In Subjects you're opting in for.

Anything else I should know (triggers, phobias, things you dislike drawing, if schooling or disability means you need a particularly long turnaround time, etc)

[remcycl333]

my sp story <3

hi besties! if you've been following my blog for a while you know that i've been single for a while, partly because i like to be independent and single, and partly because i just didn't like anyone. obviously i could just manifest a guy out of thin air, but when im not confronted face to face with a crush then i just don't care about being in a relationship so i never manifested someone out of thin air lol

but then a couple of weeks ago i was at the movies with my friends, and there were couples cuddling around us and i was like "aw :( kinda wish i had a bf now." and what do we do when we feel any type of desire? we immediately fulfill ourselves, no matter how "small" the desire is! so that's what i did. i imagined for like two seconds that i was cuddling with a boy at the theaters, and then i got distracted by the movie and forgot all about it

then like 15 minutes later, a guy that i'd had a crush on four years ago randomly slid into my dms. i never pursued him four years ago bc my bff at the time had dibs on him, but we're not friends anym and haven't been for years so it was my time to shine!!!

anyway, we talk for like a week. i know this guy is funny and shit bc of when we hung out irl, but like all he's sending me are unfunny memes that don't really warrant a response. so it was kinda tough

and this is the part where you guys are going to yell at me!!! i was like oh i should use my manifestation skills and make sure this goes smoothly....but then i was like nah im just gonna go with the flow 😭😭😭 and i know you guys are like REM!!!! u manifest EVERYTHING u can't just turn it off!!!! anyway.....long story short a week into us talking this mf randomly blocks me!!!!

so im instantly like 🙄🙄 damn fine i'll manifest him back bc im stubborn and do not like being told no in my reality

so how did i do it? how did i manifest him back?

if you guys have followed me for a while, you know that i manifested an sp a couple years ago by simply affirming "i love [his name] so much" any time i'd think of him and this would conjure the feeling of the wish fulfilled. (NOT mindless affirming. i'd say it maybe two or three times to catch the feeling and then move on)

ANYWAY so that's what i did! and let me tell you....i was not "perfect" by any means 😭 in fact this manifestation really kinda opened my eyes on how EASY manifestation truly is. like i already knew how easy it was, but damn!

if you know that your desire is promised and that it is coming because you gave it to yourself in imagination (even ONCE) ... there is NOTHING that will stop it. i was gonna make a separate post on this and i tried but i just couldn't articulate it correctly so im going to try again:

it took 12 days to manifest him to unblock me and message me. im sure it would've taken a shorter amount of time if i was more disciplined with myself but it's kinda crazy bc of how UNdisciplined i was 😭 tbh i was just kinda like...unsure if i even wanted to manifest him at all bc thats how much i value my alone time and my independence lol

anyway, i always get asks from people who are stressed and anxious bc they think that in order to manifest your desire, you can never enter the state of lack ever again and that dwelling in negative thoughts will "ruin" your manifestations. but i am here to tell you IT DOES NOT MATTER!!! you do not need to be "perfect"!!!! as long as you are staying faithful to the idea that you have your desire in the 4d, it'll manifest in the 3d.

another thing i see so many people confused and stressed about is whether or not they're naturally thinking from the state. for instance, every time you think of your sp, you think from the end of being in a relationship with them, before you think of the fact that you're not together yet. and let me tell you....while this CAN happen, it's not always gonna happen and it's not necessary. let me tell you, the DAY before my sp reached out, and even the day that he did....i would catch myself thinking about how we weren't together! but the gag is....YOUR THOUGHTS DON'T MANIFEST!!!! yes, they indicate what state you're in, but the actual thoughts themselves don't mean shit!!! they don't manifest. they just don't!

so i'd shift back to the state of being my sp's girlfriend when i'd have these thoughts, but i was fully aware we were not together in my 3d and i never naturally thought of us as being together before i saw any evidence of it in my 3d. all i had was the knowing that my inner man was with my sp, and that since i'd decided i had it in imagination, it would push out into my 3d. because that's how the law works!!! and honestly, that's all you really need. you just need to know that since you gave yourself your desire in your imagination ONE TIME, it WILL manifest. and if you have a true understanding of how the law works and you've read source, you will have no trouble knowing that it will come.

you also do NOT need to be in the state of the wish fulfilled 24/7!!! at all!!!! i cannot stress this enough. and tbh i used to feel the same. i felt like i had to be aware of having my desire in imagination 24/7 or else it wouldn't come. i thought i couldn't perceive the lack or opposite in my 3d or else it wouldn't manifest (see this post about dismissing the 3d btw if u need help with that). but the gods honest truth is that all you need to do is DECIDE you have your desire in imagination & not take no for an answer & KNOW that your desire is GOING TO REFLECT IN YOUR 3D NO MATTER WHAT!!!!

and that's not to say that you wont still get anxious and have intrusive thoughts and be like "oh god what if it never manifests." like... im human and i had those human moments. but i just reminded myself that i know the law and ive proven it to myself many times and i know that it had to manifest.

anyway. back to my sp story!

so for these 12 days that im blocked (lmfao) all i did was affirm "i love [his name] so much" whenever i thought of him until i caught the feeling of the wish fulfilled. that's it. and i knew for a fact that he was mine in the 4d and therefore we'd be together in the 3d bc that's the law!

anyway on friday (5 days ago) at 8pm? im scrolling thru the ulta app and then im like "oh i havent fulfilled myself today i dont think" so i fulfilled myself for like 2 seconds and then get distracted by some product and then two minutes later i get a notif that this guy followed me and then dmed me 😭

it's funny cuz my irls don't know about the law of assumption so i sent them a screenshot and i was like "look who came crawling back" and they were like BOOOOO!!! and i was like no guys!!!!! i created the blocking and i created this like i promise we can trust him 😭😭 hahahaha

anyway. let me tell you. if you are manifesting an sp, DO NOT DO THAT SHIT IN STEPS!!!!! i mean, if you really want to, i can't stop you, but i really don't recommend it.

with my old sp (the one from two years ago) i'd always manifest contact and then get it, and then he'd ghost me and and id have to manifest contact again and it'd be a never ending cycle!!! bc i was just focusing on contact, not on how i felt or how he felt about me.

the reason i loveeee to affirm "i love my sp so much" INSTEAD OF "HE loves ME so much" is because it helps me catch the feeling of the wish fulfilled so much more. not only that, but because remember, THERE IS NO ONE TO CHANGE BUT SELF!!!! changing the way i see my sp and the way i feel about him is all i need to do. im not trying to change him and make him love me lol. this is about me and my inner reality, not him! he'll reflect whatever i am in the 4d

another reason i love affirming this is because TO ME, this is what implies we are already together. whenever im in a relationship, i always find myself laying around all giddy thinking about how obsessed with my bf i am and how i love him so much. so i emulate that when im manifesting an sp.

and it's PERFECT because by jumping straight to the end where we're already together, i don't have to focus on all the things that lead to us being in a relationship. i don't have to manifest him following me, or texting me, or asking me on a date. these things all just happen naturally bc im living in the end.

NOT TO MENTION, it naturally turns your sp into your perfect partner? like remember when i said when we were talking before he blocked me he was kinda dry and he'd just send memes that i didn't find funny? THIS DUDE DID A COMPLETE 180!!!

he's sooo funny, he is the OPPOSITE of dry, he is everything???? and im obsessed.

anyway he unblocked me and dmed me, and then asked for my number and we had such funny and cute convos and then boom 4 days later he asks me on a date and i say no (😭😭😭😭 i was busy) but i agreed to go on a date the next day and the way this boy showed pure unencumbered excitement 🥺 im obsessed

anyway im sorry this is so long? i really just wanted to share how all i did was apply what i've been preaching about on this blog for years and it worked out flawlessly! hopefully this gives you guys some good tips and maybe motivation? <3

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Am I the asshole for calling a (now ex-) mutual a stingy asshole?

So to start, I (NB20) am in a pretty rough situation, I'm facing homelessness soon, transphobia at home and work and my hours have been getting cut resulting in me making even less money that can sustain me. I have a toyhou.se forum post up stating I have emergency commissions open to help me out and to please support me if you can. This is where the situation begins. I have a mutual on toyhou.se who I'll call Apple (MTF22) I talk to sometimes to the point I'd say we are friends, not super close but friends nonetheless. She made a bulletin telling people about my commissions and to please comm me if they could which I'm very grateful for since I did get a few customers from her because of that. The thing is, a few weeks later, she made a bulletin talking about how happy she was so many commissions she bought were finished around the same time and posted all of them with the artists tagged in the post. It was honestly... quite a few, I'm talking like 9 pieces of art of her fursona and even a custom vtuber model she got of her sona. I was going to reply all happy for her, but it made me think... how much did she spend on those commissions?? So I went through all the artists socials to find their commission prices and came to a total of fucking $385!!! More than half of my current goal I'm trying to make through commissions to stay out of homelessness!! So I messaged Apple saying since I saw she bought a few commissions if she was interested in buying a comm from me. She replies saying "Ohh! I'd love to <333 but im just not in a place to buy any more comms right now :< sorry >.<!!" So I casually reply really? because it seems like your in the perfect place to help me out after already spending over $300 in commissions. She tells me she's sorry and really wishes someone would be able to help me out but she just wasn't that interested in my art or a custom to which I tell her she could've easily donated to my ko-fi which I have always had since she clearly has money to spend? To this, she straight up IP blocks me. So still fucking annoyed, I vented in a discord server I share with a few friends from being in a few shared CS together, saying how annoying it is rich assholes like her would drop half a thousand for a picture of their fursona but don't even blink twice at their so called friends. anyway, one of my friends takes a look at Apples th profile and notices she has a new bulletin up and sends me a screenshot, but anways the bulletin reads like "hey!! just saying, but please dont come into my dms acting like you know my financial situation better than i do, just because i buy a lot of commissions doesnt mean im made of money! and please dont think that me commisioning artist 1 means i hate artist 2? thats so weird, thanks!!!!!" and seeing all their subscribers just kissing her ass pissed me off so i made my own bulletin that just stated "i thought it was pretty fucking weird to know how bad ur friend's situation was and to go buy a bunch of comms instead of buying a comm from or even throwing a buck to help me out? like yeah im gonna think i know ur situation better than u, you stingy fuck!!!" Anyway, she mustve been block evading (which I reported her for) since she unblocked me, took a screenshot of my bulletin, then went on about how she lived in an abusive household; her dad had thrown her into a sink and chipped her tooth, bruised half her face and scarred it pretty badly. She bought a bunch of commissions immediately afterwards in a panic to make herself feel better, paying everything with her savings. Which to me.. isn't an excuse. Ive been hit and abused and still found scraps of money to pull together to give to mutuals who need it and Ive been bumping my own post like crazy and she had literal weeks to donate or comm me. Not to mention Ive had exmutuals of hers come to me saying that shes never donated anything to them either despite advertising their posts but always had money for plushies, comms and other crap, meaning Im not alone in thinking shes a stingy asshole. This is getting long, so here, tumblr AITA?

What are these acronyms?

[uhhlifeig]

ABOUT ME!

Hey, y'all! I'm Emi, my pronouns are she/they, and I'm bi. This is a safe space for everyone!!

I am in the Marauders, PJO, HP, RWRB, and HOO fandoms (former DSMP fan, would always love to discuss).

My fave musicians rn are Måneskin, Derivakat, and Conan Gray.

Fave painting is Gathering Storm bc not only does it have LORE, it's also just really pretty.

I AM A MINOR. DO NOT SEND WEIRD MESSAGES AND DON'T SPAM MY INBOX WITH DONATION REQUESTS. I CANNOT DONATE.

Sirius and Regulus and Barty kinnie!

I play the piano and paint, and I write things sometimes.

MY PROMPTS LIST: HERE

MY AO3: SeaingStars (well, well, well. what do we have here? a shameless self advertisement.)

Go ahead! Take a read!

^Writer Evan is stalked by murderer Barty. Chase ensues.

^Slytherin Sirius and Gryffindor Remus have an illicit relationship. Sirius's parents find out, and stuff hits the fan.

^(ON AN INDEFINITE HIATUS) A longfic Jules and I are working on! updates every other Saturday. Gryffindor Regulus, no Peter exclusion, may actually increase update times bc I think it's too slow.

^A Ravenrock (Peter x Benjy) rivals to lovers fic, no Voldemort and also background Jily.

I'm looking for more beta readers! DM me if you want to apply.

Normal DNI, but I'll reiterate it. DNI if you're a homophobe, transphobe, TERF, against furries/therians, racist, sexist, support pedophilia/zoophilia, if you try to force your religion onto others, if you support Israel, if you're a JKR apologist, and if you support problematic people.

Feel free to send me requests/prompts to put on my list. I promise everything will be worked on, just slowly.

And don't expect me to reply immediately! As stated above, I am a minor, meaning I have to go to school. Please be patient!

MY TAGS:

#emi writes sometimes - my writing tag, mostly for microfics

#emi reblogs stuff - my reblogs, conversationally and otherwise

#emi yaps - my original posts that aren't stories/asks

#emi answers! - me responding to asks

#hi finn - say hi to finn, hes a lil guy

#hey mars - ITS MARS MY WIFEY /p

#sup estelle - FOLLOW THEM. NOW. DO IT.

FAVE MOOTS:

@moutainrusing!! they were my first moot, and we chit-chat a lot!

@ttroubledwaters - we're married. (they play sirius, i play remus. and also they played regulus in one of the rps i play james in lol WERE DESTINED TO BE TOGETHER)

@yourlocalbadgerscales - slay. same person, different font lol

@discoveredreality - literally awesome

@finntheworm81 - this is finn. go say hi to him. (hes my platonic husband)

@sxmnc - we talk about hot italians lmao

@estellethewriter - estelle!!!!! literally regulus and also GO SAY HI TO THEM. FOLLOW HER. THIS IS A THREAT

@smuttylyra - awesome. bestie. great and also slightly unhinged.

@allonsy-moony - i literally love you sm /p YOURE AWESOME AND GREAT AND HAVE I MENTIONED AWESOME (a fellow wo/men kisser)

@a-t1r3d-b1s3xual - bestie boo!!! you're so slay pookie <333 and IVE LEARNED TO DRAW FIGURES IM SO CLOSE TO DRAWING PEOPLE I PROMISE (also a fellow wo/men kisser)

@iliveonblandfanfics - my friend who walks dogs with me (also my first wife lmfao)

@bralnwashed - 29th spouse and also new favorite (sorry alex)

tell me if you want to be added to this list!

SIDEBLOGS:

@not-a-fork - my James Potter RP acc! contact @.corey-writes-stuff to join

@siriusly-attractive - my Sirius Black RP acc! contact me to join

@not-pineconed - my Thalia Grace RP acc! contact @.permetutotheworld to join

@moony-days - my Remus Lupin RP acc (i'm collecting them all, just like pokemon)! contact @.boundbymoonlight to join

@astronomic-nerd - my Regulus Black RP acc! it's a band AU with prongsfoot, jegulus, and moonwater (poly, no incest). contact @.ieatglowsticks to join

@my-father-owns-a-farm - my Mary MacDonald RP acc! contact @aesthetic-writer18 to join

@marls-boro - my Marlene McKinnon RP acc! contact @.julia-lokidottier to join

@bambiwantstobemefr - my second James Potter RP acc! contact @.anything-for-my-moony-1971 to join

@thestarryhunter - my Orion Black RP acc! (its the generation before the marauders era) contact @.cheekyboybeth to join

@depressed-poets-unite - my second Regulus Black RP acc! temporarily inactive, but i'd love to join another rp!

@forever-sirius - my second Sirius Black RP acc! dm/send a non-anon ask to @.cissa-n0ble-blck to join

[mywritingonlyfans]

heyy back in the time when there were still dms on wattpad, I requested a bella and alex fic. It was about y/n taking care of bella when alex had to leave for tour. Bella was missing him really bad one night and y/n decided to facetime alex. You answered it was cute idea and you'd write it. Are you still up to it?

I'm glad you forwarded it here ❤️

It's not necessary to read my other fics to enjoy this one, but Bella is Alex's daughter (he's a single dad) in a later fic of mine, which you can check out here: link.

...

The first few weeks were peaceful, and Bella liked you. Every now and then, she mentioned missing her dad, so you’d tell her a story or ask her to send him a voice message. He’d always reply enthusiastically, meeting her expectations. Alex was a wonderful father, something you could never stop praising him for—it made you love him even more, seeing how attentive he was. You all had frequent video calls, always long, full of conversation and smiles, but it was starting to not feel like enough.

"He’s about to answer, Bella. What do you want to tell him?" Her eyes were red, her face buried in your shirt. You missed him too, a feeling you tried to hide while wearing his Stone Roses t-shirt. The familiar scent was comforting, and with her nose tucked into your shoulder, Bella seemed to share the same comfort. "I don’t know, mum." It wasn’t usual, but it did happen sometimes. A voice in your head reminded you that you weren’t her mother, but hearing her call you that, with the same accent as Alex, filled your heart with warmth. You loved her so much, and knowing that Alex didn’t mind her calling you ‘mum’ made you feel more connected to the bond they shared. "I really don’t know..." she repeated, her voice laced with tears. The time indicated he was probably finishing up a show, so you sent him a quick message and informed Kate that Bella was eager to see him. It was late at night for both of you, and Bella was refusing to sleep, clearly restless. "I misspoke, my love. It’s okay if you just want to see him. I want to see him too." You hugged her tighter. You only wanted to ease her anxiety about the wait, not make her more anxious by thinking she had to come up with something to say. It was perfectly fine to just want to see her dad’s face before a long day at school and some playing. She had taken over Alex's spot in the bed while he was on tour. Having your best friend by your side during this time was also good for you; she kept your mind off Alex not being there.

You gave a small smile to the camera on your phone, and Bella peeked over slightly as Alex finally appeared on the screen, wearing his usual post-show dad outfit. He was sweaty, his hair sticking to his forehead, and already without his blazer, the sleeves of his shirt rolled up to his elbows. If you were there, you would’ve rolled up those sleeves for him, and he would’ve watched you with that familiar breathless smile. Bella would’ve jumped into his arms, the proudest daughter in the world, and Alex wouldn’t have been able to stop smiling.

But right now, in this exact moment, Alex looked concerned, and you felt bad for not letting Bella speak first, afraid that Alex might panic seeing her so down without an urgent reason. "Everything’s okay, love. How was the show? Al, we just really wanted to see you before going to sleep." You brushed Bella’s hair away from her forehead, revealing her tired face on your chest. Both of you were ready to fall asleep, bodies settled in the sheets, ready to never leave again. Alex’s sigh of relief was immediate. He had cute bags under his eyes, and you knew he was also struggling with the distance. Bella nodded, agreeing with what you had said.

"It was good, really loud. The usual stuff. We sang your song, Bella. Aunt Kate managed to record it, I'll ask her to send it to you both." He sounded excited, trying to make Bella smile. "You really did?" She raised her eyebrows, and Alex nodded eagerly. "You can hear the crowd singing along—they love your song." She hugged you, looking from you to the camera as if she couldn't believe it. It was so adorable. "It's okay if they like it, but Suck It and See is my song." You laughed, and Alex joined in. "It's all yours, darling."

You watched them talk, noticing the sparkle in his eyes and how verbally affectionate he was with her since he couldn’t be there physically. Alex was much more of a physical touch person, both with you and with Bella. The effort he made to compensate for that when he was away was obvious, and you appreciated it so much. They continued chatting about school, with Bella mentioning how you had helped her with homework, saying you were smart and patient with her, and also talking about how she had played with other kids at the park. You chuckled; she hadn't been as vocal as usual that day, but she was making it sound so natural, at least with Alex.

He kept talking in his gentle, slow manner, carefully enunciating each word. She loved the attention he gave her; you couldn't imagine how much she missed having him in her daily life when he wasn’t there. For example, every morning you would wake up to the sound of them brushing their teeth together, with her telling him about some dream she had. He did the same with her, but with you, it was different—not that you wanted it to be the same. You had a good relationship with her, but you wished you knew how to make this difficult time easier for her in a better way.

"And how’re you doin’, pretty one?" he asked, his voice more drawn out when he spoke to you. He made the sound drag, prolonging the prit-ee longer than necessary, yet still failing to bring a smile to your face. You couldn’t muster the energy to hide how much you missed him being right there in front of you.

You held your breath, watching him through the screen. He looked exhausted, like he could reach out and touch you, and Bella’s face resting on your shoulder as she slept if he tried hard enough.

"She couldn’t sleep, huh?—It used to happen with my mum too, though she seemed happier being with you." This time, you laughed. It seemed to lighten his mood a bit. "Are you tired? How’s it been?" He was taking on the role of the more talkative one in the relationship. You were afraid that if you said too much, you’d end up crying.

"She’s a sweetheart. She doesn’t give me any trouble; I like having her around." He nodded, biting his lips. His eyes were on you, quietly, and the atmosphere felt warm.

"I’ll stay ‘ere until you fall asleep, alright?"

"Alex, you’re tired. You don’t have to." He didn’t say anything, making it clear that arguing would be pointless, and to be honest, you wanted him to stay with you longer. "Don’t be strong for me, lil' one." He said softly. You laughed painfully, your eyes welling up.

"I hate this," he laughed too, in that same low tone. "I hate it too," you pulled up your shirt to dry your eyes. The shirt in question was starting to lose his scent. "I’ll be back soon, to spend a few days with you both before I leave again, I promise."

You shook your head, "I understand, Alex, Bella understands too. We just can’t help missing you; you’re not doing anything wrong." It was comforting for Alex that you could voice what he felt guilty about; he knew deep down he was being unfair to himself.

"Even so, I really need to see you both, to recharge my energy." You nodded, feeling better after talking with him. You didn’t realize how much you needed this moment, even though you didn’t know you needed it. This quiet conversation without Bella, where you could cry and be vulnerable with him. It wasn’t that you minded if she saw, but you tried to avoid making her feel worse.

"Are you drinking enough water, Al? Don’t have too much beer after the show." You said after a while, and he bit his lips to suppress a smile, showing you a bottle of water. "I’m not going to stop listenin’ to you just ‘cause you’re not ‘ere." Alex continued talking about more band stuff, the days of shows, until you slowly drifted off to sleep, unable to stay awake any longer, depriving yourself of having more minutes with him.

But the next day would be better.

[ladelinee]

Authors note: I can't believe I finally finished this part! I struggled with finding inspiration 😫, but I'm happy that you can enjoy it now! If you have any suggestions about what you'd like me to include in future parts, feel free to DM me 🖤 Enjoy!

Word count: 3,7K

Warnings: Negative thoughts, teasing, kissing, touching, +18 language.

“All shook up”

(Part 3)

The air was buzzing with excitement as Elvis prepared for his show backstage. With a soft hum, he sang improvised songs while his stylist meticulously adjusted every sequin and stitch on his jumpsuit. The intricate patterns on the fabric hugged his form, enhancing his stage presence. As the room filled with the murmur of conversations and equipment, Elvis remained poised and cool, ready to electrify the audience with his performance. It was a moment of pure anticipation, and you could feel the energy crackling in the air.

Joe entered the room, panting but trying to appear calm. "Hey E, how are you?" he asked.

Elvis turned around with a smile but sensed that something was off. "Hey Joe, everything alright?" he asked.

Joe hesitated for a moment before delivering the news that Elvis was dreading. "Well, I came to speak to you about this... Priscilla is on her way to see the show. She wants to surprise you."

Elvis's face immediately dropped at the mention of his wife's name. He knew that this could cause some trouble. "What? Ya're kiddin’ me, right?" he asked, trying to downplay its importance, but his nervous laugh betrayed his anxiety.

Joe's expression turned serious as he shook his head, "No, Elvis. She's really coming," he said. "I know we agreed to only have wives on opening and closing shows, and I tried to stop her with that, but she's determined to see you. She wants to make sure you're safe after the earthquake."

Elvis sighed and rubbed his face with his hands, looking irritated. "I know, Joe... I know the deal. Damn it, I didn't keep her in the loop.”

Elvis couldn't help but think about Y/n's beautiful face, which had been a nice break from his usual routine lately.

A staff member suddenly entered and informed Elvis that only 15 minutes were remaining until the start of the show.

Elvis nodded at the staff member. "Alright. I'll be there in a minute. Thank you"

Elvis let out a heavy sigh as he turned back to Joe again. “Ya know what, Joe, I was really hopin' to see y/n tonight. But now, it's lookin' like Cilla might just stay on over. Guess I gotta handle this whole thing right now”

“Hey, have you lost your mind?" Joe exclaimed. "There's no way you or any of the guys can leave now to deal with this, Elvis. The fans are swarming the building, trying to find their seats, and the media is everywhere. It's chaos out there!“

Elvis groaned and shook his head, thinking and walking in circles. "Damn... you're right, Joe.”

Suddenly Elvis walked towards the phone backstage, feeling his heart racing with anticipation. He pressed the dial button and tried to contact y/n's office. He thought that cancelling the date would be the quickest way to find a temporary solution.

"Damn it all…” Elvis let out a frustrated groan as he heard nothing but silence on the other end of the line.

"Mr. Presley, you have 10 minutes left." The staff member announced.

Elvis started feeling anxious and decided to resort to a plan B.

“Hear me, Joe. Hunt down that son-of-a-bitch Red, and instead of him playin' bodyguard tonight, send him for a minute to go and tell the girl this…”

Elvis thought for a moment and finally, with a snap of his fingers, he came up with a message. “Alright, just go on and tell her things got switched around. Tonight I'm dealin' with somethin' else, right at the last minute. Make sure she knows I'll ring her later to explain and I'm real sorry, ya hear?”

Joe nodded in agreement and began to head towards the door when Elvis interrupted him again.

“One last thing, tell Red to be gentle with her, will ya? At times, he's rougher 'n a bull in a china shop” Elvis sighed and ran his hands through his hair.

“Priscilla is getting on your nerves. Am I right?” Joe playfully teased Elvis to lighten the mood.

Joe's voice caught Elvis' attention as he looked up from his thoughts "Ya got no idea how much... I just want this night to be over, damn it" he said.

…“5 minutes, Mr. Presley”…

Elvis's demeanour changed, and he became laser-focused on giving his fans the performance of a lifetime. It was clear that nothing could stop him from delivering his best.

—————————————————————

“Seat 5, row B, on the right – get ready for a night to remember!” I exclaimed with contagious enthusiasm, guiding the last fan to their seat.

The night was so busy that every employee helped with the crowds coming to see Elvis. Time passed quickly, and the more time went by, the more nervous I became. "Only a few more hours until midnight" I whispered while hugging myself inside the furry coat that Elvis had given me.

As I began a daydream, my mind filled with fantasies and exciting scenarios. I wondered if Elvis would want to grab drinks with me, or maybe he would suggest we go to a secret spot. My mind ran wild with imaginations of all sorts.

My hands began to shake, but not from the cold. They were reacting to the sound of the applause and music coming from inside the showroom, a clear sign that Elvis was on stage. I couldn't help but smile to myself, feeling incredibly lucky at the thought of seeing him later. My body was responding to the nervous excitement, and my

smile seemed to light up the whole lobby.

My thoughts completely caught me off guard when I looked towards the front of the lobby and, to my utter surprise, there stood a stunning woman. Her graceful movements, almost like a model, along with the security team that accompanied her, were walking directly towards the entrance of the showroom.

It was Priscilla Presley.

I was so shocked that I couldn't find the right words to respond. I even missed the chance to welcome her myself. Thankfully an employee intervened, and she entered the showroom.

She made me question how on earth I thought I could ever stand a chance with Elvis. At that moment, I felt so small… and I was still wearing the coat that Elvis had given me, probably as a way to compensate me for the inconvenience rather than anything more significant.

As I was still trying to process the situation, a loud voice suddenly drew my attention. I turned to see a tall and red-haired man standing next to me, who I could only assume was Red West.

“Y/n? I have a message from Elvis” He asked. I could sense the weight of his words, especially given that he spoke on behalf of Elvis.

“Yes, it's me. How may I assist you?” I replied professionally. I waited nervously, unsure of what he would say next.

"He can't make it tonight, he is busy dealing with something more important, Have a good night, miss" Red said before rushing to the corridors leading backstage, without a chance for me to even reply.

The sudden change in my status from something special to something insignificant had sent my anxiety levels soaring, and I felt a hundred daggers piercing my stomach. The coat I was wearing began to feel heavier, as all the joy and excitement it was bringing me was suddenly drained away. I had been nothing more than entertainment for Elvis all this time. How stupid I was!

The sound of Elvis's voice filled the air. The lyrics were hitting me hard. The pain was too much to bear, and I knew I had to leave. As I walked away, the words of the song echoed in my mind, and I couldn't help but feel crushed and devastated.

“Do you gaze at your doorstep and picture me there?

Is your heart filled with pain, shall I come back again?

Tell me dear, are you lonesome tonight?”

At 4 pm, a new shift started and I found myself in front of the mirror once again. I applied concealer to hide my dark circles as I had barely slept the night before.

I stepped out of my office and walked over to do the daily check before attending to Elvis and his wife, a thought that made my heart ache.

"Oh la la! My dear friend!" Alex suddenly jumped out from the corner as if he were a tiger on the hunt. "Wow, what are those dark circles? Did your secret admirer make them for you?" he asked with a mischievous smirk as if he were fishing for information.

"I really don't want to get into it. He just cancelled everything, end of story" I said, my voice betrayed a hint of hurt.

I anticipated Alex would show some compassion towards me, but instead, he said:

"Look, I've never seen you like this before. First off, you're a top-notch pro. Let's not let the guard down now. Second..." Alex began sprucing up my hair and tweaking my jacket. "Dress to impress, so he kicks himself for what he's missing. And third... guess who left the hotel this morning?" Alex revealed with a sly grin as if he had the inside scoop on last night's drama.

Without even having a say in the matter, I was instantly swept up in a whirlwind of conflicting emotions. My expression became a mix of confusion and curiosity. Before I had a chance to voice my thoughts, Alex broke in.

"No time to waste!" he declared firmly, noticing that I was puzzled. "Elvis is up and asking for you. Please go! I will take care of the daily check" he assured me with a determined tone, urging me to focus on the immediate priority rather than being distracted by other matters.

"Oh, you really know how to keep the gossip alive, don't you?" I mumbled under my breath, a smile played on my lips as I headed towards the elevator.

Alex just shot me a friendly smile and gave me a wink to cheer me up. I nodded my appreciation and walked into the elevator, heading towards Elvis's penthouse.

“So I got up and walked out in that… hallway

Had my flashlight and my gun in one hand

I looked at that big chandelier hangin’ over the dining room table…

That son-of-a-bitch was shakin’ man, back and forth”

As I opened the door to the penthouse, I could already hear the sound of Elvis's voice coming from within.

When I stepped inside, I found Elvis sitting in an armchair with his back turned, dressed in black. The jumpsuit he had worn for the concert the previous night was on the floor, and the room was a little messy with some beer cans in the living room area.

Elvis continued talking on the phone until he finally noticed my presence. He said a quick goodbye to the person on the other end of the call and turned his focus to me.

He appeared to be quite pleased with the sight of me, though I could see a small glimpse of guilt on his face for having cancelled our plans the previous night. He didn't speak right away, probably awaiting my response.

“Good afternoon” I said smiling. I knew my role. The last thing I wanted to do was make this scenario personal. So, I maintained my professional demeanour, waiting for Elvis to speak first.

“Darlin’. M’sorry for cancelling our plans, last night was not easy, trust me.” Elvis said, regretful.

“It’s fine, Mr. Presley, I understand. I hope you had a nice time during the show with your wife.”

In return, I remained cold, maintaining my distance. It seemed that Elvis was getting anxious as he realized that I had no intention of engaging in any emotional connections with him.

Elvis seemed quite surprised by me calling him by his last name. "Darlin’, call me Elvis." He insisted.

I remained stoic, calmly replying "Fine, Elvis."

Elvis, worried about my answer, stared at the floor and then continued “Listen, Cilla ain't supposed to be showin' up here. Our marriage ain't going well, believe me. We ain't even sharin' the same bed”

I couldn't help but wonder whether what he said was true or just a lie. Although I wished it to be true, it seemed too good to be true. When faced with a challenge, I chose to respond boldly.

"If your marriage isn't going well, why are you still with her? " I asked. "I knew from the very beginning that you considered me as just an entertainment" I continued, letting my bitterness and frustration show.

Elvis got the point straightaway. “The main reason I'm still with her is all 'cause of my little girl, Lisa. She’s everythin’ to me. I… I love comin’ home and seein’ her pretty little face waitin’ for his daddy." Elvis explained while he walked towards me.

He held my chin gently in his hand, and his piercing gaze locked into mine. He stood so close that his towering height made it hard for me to even see the window behind him, casting a shadow with his broad shoulders.

“And…from the moment I saw ya...” he said, his voice low and steady. My heart raced as he continued, “…I felt somethin' special. That's why I argued with your boss to keep ya. Y/n, ya are very special to me, I can't deny it.” He said. My breath caught in my throat as I realized that the feeling was mutual.

"Is that true?" I asked with disbelief. I couldn't believe the words coming from his mouth. As he drew closer, my heart started pumping even harder. His presence made me weak. I was hopelessly drawn to him.

“I’ve never been so honest in my life, darlin’”

As I was still processing the weight of his words, Elvis swiftly reached out and held my face with both hands, bringing me into a deep kiss before I could react.

The kiss was filled with passion and hunger, almost as if we were both finally giving in to what we truly desired. I felt overwhelmed by the suddenness of his action, but I couldn't resist the feeling of attraction and passion I felt for him.

In the closeness we shared, my senses started to heighten. I could feel the warmth of his breath on my cheek and the firm grasp of his large, soft hands on my jaw. The familiar, sweet and musky scent of his fragrance, evoking memories of our first meeting, caused a tremble throughout my body.

One of his hands slowly slid down my back, as if a hissing snake was running over it. His hand stopped at my butt, grabbing it with desire. His movement was so powerful that he almost lifted me off the ground, slamming me against him.

I moaned into his mouth.

Elvis paused and looked me straight in the eye, making me skip a heartbeat. His blue eyes were filled with a mix of desire and affection.

"Goddamit, baby, do that again," he requested, his voice almost breathless with excitement. He looked down and noticed that he was hugging me so tightly that my breasts were pressed against his chest, and he let out a subtle groan of pleasure.

"I think somethin’ is in the way," Elvis said with a sly grin, now looking at my jacket. My face couldn't help but turn red, the blush of shyness and heat filling my body. His looks and his gestures were becoming more and more sensual and teasing.

Elvis gently removed my jacket, letting it fall directly to the floor. Meanwhile, his lips were close to mine and attempting to bite me. I couldn't help but moan softly, as he requested previously, when he grabbed my breasts by surprise before he finally managed to achieve his aim of biting my lip.

“Oh my… “ I added. I was starting to feel a tingling in my core. His warm and big hands grabbing my breasts with a possesive grip made me feel like in heaven.

"Baby, I can stop if ya want me to" He suggested with a cheeky smirk, while his hands moved down to my shirt and slowly unbuttoned it, his focus shifted to my black bra and looked at it with parting lips.

"No, please... keep going" I replied, my voice became more urgent and needy. I needed his touch, his caresses were like a drug to me and I couldn't get enough.

The manly smell and the roughness of his skin after having shaved yesterday were enough for me to notice the wetness of my panties.

I started kissing and licking his neck vigorously as if begging him for more.

"Oh fuck" he moaned under his breath. We both knew what was coming next, as his bulge hardened against my stomach and Elvis' eyes, gleaming with a hunter’s glint, turned hungry as they fixated on my bra. His hands moved swiftly and decisively, grabbing my breasts with urge and pulling my bra down. His gaze was fixed on my breasts and he was making no intention of stopping any time soon.

My breasts were still bouncing from the sudden movement Elvis made when I felt his warm breath and soft lips on one of my nipples, and my whole body began to tremble.

He kissed them softly at first, passing his tongue around, making me grab his black hair, and whine softly. That reaction convinced him to take it to the next level, and he started nibbling, getting them hard and giving me an even more intense pleasure. Right after, he pinched them and rolled between his fingers, making my breathing become heavier.

I started feeling my clit growing slowly and throbbing. I couldn’t help but rub my thighs together. Elvis watched how I was doing it with a naughty and amusing smile that slightly curled his lip “Hhm, There ya go.” He added.

He started playing harder with my nipples, turning them red. I was about to gasp when he grabbed my neck, taking control of my breathing.

I could feel Elvis’ pants tightening around his crotch area, and he started to buck his hips against me in a slow and sensual dry-humped motion. His breathing was heavy, as he was focused entirely on the sensation of my body and the friction he was making.

The mix of Elvis’ lips just inches apart from mine, mixed with the sound of his growls and his breath hitting my face, was overwhelming. The warmth of his hand on my neck, reddened nipples, and the heat caused from his bulge were driving me wild, the pleasure was too intense to handle at once, all while Elvis was enjoying my gestures and keeping his eyes piercing into mine.

I began to caress his bulge, and my eyes widened in surprise when I realized his length and how hard it was. Immediately I pulled his shirt towards me, eager to kiss him. He leaned back and avoided the kiss, laughing softly and teasingly.

“Well, well…look at ya. Miss Prim and Proper’s gone and turned into a little ol’ thing yearnin’ for me. So am I forgiven?" he said, his smile revealed that he was enjoying my attempts to get closer to him, and I couldn't help but feel desperate for more.

"Oh, Elvis...You're so..." I sighed, blushing but at the same time hungry for more.

Elvis removed his hand from my neck, and grabbed my butt once more. “So… what, darlin’?”He asked with husky and teasing voice while his hands started moving down to the edge of my skirt, slowly lifting it up and showing a glimpse of my panties.

Right before I could reply or he had the chance to peek beneath my skirt, a sudden knock at the door halted everything.

“Housekeeping, may I come in, please?” The voice from outside asked.

It seemed someone had noticed Elvis was awake, and sent them in to clean.

As soon as we started hearing the knocking on the door again, Elvis turned his head to look at the door, then at me. And I just froze. "Oh god, no. No, no, no!" I exclaimed in panic, my face turned pale. "They're going to come in anyway, and they'll see me like this"

Elvis laughed softly, leading me to the wardrobe. He said "Don't ya worry, we'll be hidden in here for a while. Come on, let's hide!" He took my wrist and helped me step into the wardrobe. When we were inside, Elvis kept laughing softly as he shut the door. “Well, ain’t this a pattern? We’re always endin’ up in these tight, shadowed spots.” He said.

He positioned himself behind me, my heart was racing. “This is not funny, Elvis,” I whispered while hiding in the wardrobe. I was terrified of being caught and fired.

As the housekeepers opened the door, I peeked out through the gap between the wardrobe doors and saw my jacket on the floor, with my name tag on it.

“Right, Mr. Presley is not here; I want the room impeccable,” a lady in a suit said before leaving the room.

Oh Lord, that was Angelica, Doris’ boss. That housekeeping manager hated me for no apparent reason, and if she catches wind of this, my career will be over.

The employees began cleaning the room, and my heart pumped with fear. “They’re going to see my jacket” I said, worried.

Elvis, standing behind me, grabbed my waist and pulled me closer, covering my mouth with his hand. “Shh…It’s okay, darlin’, ya work for me now. We’ll figure somethin’ out,” he whispered. “By the way… this ain’t over,” he added softly, his voice filled with desire as he finally brought his free hand to the front part of my panties.

The rush of thinking we might get caught, mixed with Elvis's touch, sparked a whole new excitement in me.

Today's shift was shaping up to be a real rollercoaster.

Need to recap? Part 2 here

Part 4

[miss-celestial-being]

Drift Away

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request | masterlist

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𝑝𝑎𝑖𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑔: eddie munson x fem/gn!reader

𝑠𝑦𝑛𝑜𝑝𝑠𝑖𝑠: a stranger dms you about the love of your life

𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑡𝑒𝑛𝑡 𝑤𝑎𝑟𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠: mentions of suicide, heavy mentions of death, mentions of cutting, depressed!eddie, reader thinks its their fault

𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑑 𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑡: 919 (basically a blurb)

𝑎𝑢𝑡ℎ𝑜𝑟’𝑠 𝑛𝑜𝑡𝑒𝑠: please please please read the warnings. based on this instagram reel.

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Laughter rings throughout the house. Love fills your heart as you watch your little girls play with their dolls--likely plotting the end of the world together. You take a sip from your mug as your phone lights up.

Instagram Notification

You hold up your phone in front of your face to unlock it, frowning at the direct message request.

hello are you y/n y/l/n that lives in the town hawkins?

You quickly send back a message.

Hello Could I ask why?

They reply within seconds.

do you know someone called eddie munson?

The name nearly makes your breath hitch.

Yes. He was an old friend of mine. I'm talking ages ago.

Not technically a lie, you think to yourself.

i found a mixtape made by him and i would like to share it with you

You look up at the girls and smile sadly, imagining what could've been as you type out your response.

That would be great!Eddie was my High School lover. I haven't heard that name in years!

i will send the mixtape now

The three dots pop up again, then fall, and then, after another several minutes, they send an audio message. You look again at those girls, who look so much like Eddie you'd think he was their father. You look down at the dimmed screen in your hand and only now realize how long you were staring dazedly at your daughters. You tap the screen before it goes completely dark and stand up, walk to the comfort of your bedroom, and close the door.

You take a deep breath to calm yourself, putting in your earbuds before you press play. You listen to the calming melody, so far from what you remember Eddie's music to sound like that you almost think the person who messaged you was pulling your leg. However, as the lyrics start, and you hear that gravelly voice of the man you never stopped loving, you feel a sense of gratitude to the stranger for letting you hear this after all these years.

"I think of you all the time, now that you're gone." He sings, and a lump begins to form in your throat, your vision suddenly going blurry. You think back to all the memories you made with the love of your life, think of the happy and the sad, the bitter and the sweet, and everything in between. With Eddie, there was no bad. not even during arguments.

"I've been doin' all kinds of drugs to get you out of my mind." a silent tear falls and you cover your mouth to hide in your sobs. You remember this. You remember all the pain he was going through, all while playing it off so you wouldn't see just how much he was hurting. You remember the final fight you had, the one that ended it all. You remember the way he cut you off from his life after you got mad at him for keeping it all bottled up. You know you shouldn't have, that you should've been more understanding, you know it then too, but you were fed up. You were done seeing him hurt, not only from the pains life put him through but from his own pocket knife and the substances he put in his body.

“'Cause I noticed you don't like me no more and it breaks my heart." You want to go back in time; to tell him he's wrong, that you love him with all your heart and just want to see him get better. But you know that you can't, that it's too late, that you'll never be able to hold him again.

"So I'll just drift away and disappear for a while." At that you finally fall to the floor, your body shaking in time with your cries of pain and grief. You can hear the door open and three sets of feet walking into the room. You can feel the large arms that hold you every night wrap around your wilting frame, the smaller ones cuddling into your sides. But none of this does anything to mend the shattered, trapped heart; none of this brings Eddie back.

An hour passes before you notice the mixtape stopped playing that beautiful, sad voice; before you notice the last message the stranger sent.

do you know how i could contact him? i thought i would share it with him as well

Your fingers tremble, tears filling your eyes again.

I'm sorry but Eddie passed away over a decade ago now. He struggled with his mental health severely.

You close your eyes the moment you press send, letting your phone slip from your hands as you let your tears flow. Eddie's smile flashes through your mind; his laugh plays in your ears; you can almost feel the long, messy curls that draped over his face; you can nearly smell the cologne that he only bothered to put on when you came over; you can taste the salty kisses you shared after you caught him in the bathroom with his knife.

You hate yourself every day for letting him shut you out. You want to scream at the world for taking him from you. You're mad at yourself for not being happy with your current life; for not loving your husband completely; for letting your heart belong to the ghost of your past that still haunts you inside. But most of all, you hate that this was all your fault.

[rosetinteddrms]

[ you've received a message from ] : rose ･ * . ･ ✤︎

[ subject ] : life updates, exchange & free readings

click the button down below to open !

hey so i know it's been a minute since i've been active... and i know this isn't another pac, but ! anyone who wants a free or exchange reading on anything should read the rules down below and send smth in. :]

and for anyone wondering when i'll post another pac: it'll be sometime soon. i was working on the theme a little earlier. it's just that my pac's take me a minute because i just yap so much and i keep finding new energies in them. so i like, just have to write and revise them until i think it's everything that my guides were trying to tell me. ;-;

so if you don't get a spot in this, it's ok because i got smth for my dreamers cooking up soon. also, because a new semester is starting, i'll definitely be using this account as a way to stay sane, so expect more frequent updates :s

[ CLOSED ] the requirements for the free readings are:

if it's more then one person, (eg. you + someone, someone + someone, etc.) initials are preferred

if it's for only you, an emoji please

once you receive the reading, i would appreciate it if you gave feedback

if you are participating in this game, please have the label [ALYSSUM] at the top of the message

one [ALYSSUM] ask per person. if you send multiple questions/asks, i will not respond.

if you have a general question about me or for me or just any clarification, please have the label [PEONY] at the top of the message

anons are welcome

the first ten people to send an ask that adhere to the above rules will get a free reading that uses 3 cards :3

[ OPEN ] the requirements for the exchange readings are:

if it's more then one person, (eg. you + someone, someone + someone, etc.) initials are preferred

if it's only for you, an emoji please

you must have at least one previous tarot reading up on your blog (pacs, collective messages, etc.)

once you receive the reading, i would appreciate it if you gave feedback

if you are participating in this game, please have the label [ASTER] at the top of the dm and then introduce yourself ! (i'll do the same)

one [ASTER] dm per person. if you send multiple questions/asks, i will not respond.

if you have a general question about me or for me or just any clarification, please have the label [PEONY] at the top of the message

anons are not welcome

the first five dms that adhere to the above requirements will receive an exchange reading with 3 cards !

[blvccl]

Dantdm x me

Everyone Adores You (At Least, I Do.)

SO!DanTDM x Jay (gift for my lil bro ^_^)

if u want u can just replace jay with ur own name LMAO

You joined the server, your Twitch chat pulled to the side so you could talk to your viewers during your first day on the Shady Oaks SMP.

You were beyond excited, especially since the one and only DanTDM was going to be there! You couldn't even believe it, it got your heart racing as you spawned in infront of the retirement home.

“Chat, I'm so nervous.. what if they don't like me? Do you think I'll do good?” You asked, biting your nail and waiting for the others to join. You had gotten on earlier than expected.

The chat flowed with accomadative remarks and praise, ensuring that you were going to crush it. You felt a little better after seeing a bunch of "Queen never CRY 💜" comments.

After a moment of walking around and looking at other structures, you heard a familiar british voice enter the Discord call.

“Hello? Can you hear me well?” Dan joined.

You had to physically hide your face with your hands for a second to stop the chat from seeing your face immedietly go red. Didn't do anything though, since the chat exploded with shock and chaos. Your favorite youtuber was in a call with you. You answered back, voice shaking from excitement.

“Yeah! Yeah, I can hear you.”

“Brilliant, welcome to the server! Everyone else will get on in just a bit. We're probably gonna do a, kinda introduction? We'll have you come inside after I send you the message via DMs and the role-play will start. Sound good?” He explained, making sure you liked the idea before completely bossing you.

You had to stop yourself from giggling, covering your mouth with a sleeve. You unmuted again and answered.

“Yeah, that's fine! I'm so excited to meet everyone!”

After muting again and waiting for the others to get online, everything was going to plan. You did your intro bit, talked to everyone, and went to start working on a home.

An hour or so went by, your house wasn't completely finished but you got a lot done pretty quickly. Chat helped with decorating the inside, giving tips and hacks with small things. At some point you ran into Dan, who was looking for his horse that had escaped somehow.

“Hey, Jay, how's it goin'? Have you, uh, seen a dark horse with diamond armor 'round here?” He asked, throwing some things out of his inventory and then mining a tree.

“You lost your horse? How in the world did you lose a horse? They're so slow.” You asked, chuckling at the situation. He then placed down a crafting table and began to conjure up an iron pickaxe, he was about to go mining.

“I think someone took him, to be honest. Probably Squid, now that I think about it. I robbed his house yesterday, needed some gold.” He spoke bluntly, weird. He usually is super upbeat and energetic. Maybe there was an arc going on, yeah.

“Oh, well, I hope you find it. I could help, If you want.” You said politely, hoping he'd let you. It was getting boring, just building.

“No, I got it. I appreciate it, though. Seeya.” He left. What was going on? Had you missed a chapter??

You watched his character run away and into a mine near a mountain. You decided to leave him alone, maybe he was just in a bad mood. You continued to build your house, starting on the second floor.

Weeks had gone by with you still in the SMP and Dan hasn't changed. You tried to bring it up and ask if he was okay but he'd just say "It's my character."

You wanted to believe him, but you just couldn't. It bothered you so much, his tone started to decrease your mood in streams. The chat began to notice you becoming more pessimistic.

You accidentily broke the wrong block, “I screwed that up.”

You placed the wrong block, “I can't do anything right.”

You got attacked by a zombie, “I suck at this game.”

It affected you so much that you couldn't even tell if you were role-playing anymore. You would say something depressing in character but caught yourself thinking. “Would my character even say that?” It was a nightmare.

Eventually, everyone in the SMP noticed and needed to do something about it. James tried to comfort you, but he wasn't the best at it. He kept bringing bees into it.

Then Justin gave it a shot, but he ended up getting distracted with something completely unrelated. Did nobody care? Has everyone just ignored Dan? He was the reason behind all this, after all.

Just as you were about to give up and log off, Dan showed up at your house. You jumped at the sudden british accent in your ears.

“Hello? Can I come in?” You turned, staring at the blocky character opening and closing your door. Finally, an explanation for his behavior! You let him in and watched your screen as he walked in.

He let out a breath.

“I'm.. really sorry, for how I've been treating you. I had been so nervous to talk to you so I thought being more mean would make you leave me alone. So I wouldn't have to feel bad for ignoring you, but it only made me feel worse. I can tell it affected you too. I'm sorry, Jay.” His character spun around and looked at the ground.

You couldn't help but smile at the silly role-play, but you were still upset at him.

“Why would you be nervous? It's not like I'm a celebrity or anything.” You asked, crossing your arms as your chat was spilling with interest and "dramaaa".

“Is that right? Come on, everyone adores you.” He said, still looking the opposite direction until he finally spoke again, turning to face you.

“Well, at least..” he paused and looked away for a monent. “I do.” He looked back.

...what?

You stared at the screen in disbelief, your chat going crazy and freaking out. You didn't know what to say. Was he.. no, no he wasn't role-playing. Dan, The Diamond Minecart just said he loves you.

Your face went red and you couldn't help but giggle. You turned away from him and went up to the second floor of your house to finish it. Mumbling something on the lines of “Need to finish..”

“You're blushing.” He followed you up the stairs, invading your pixelated personal space. What an ass.

“Leave me alone!” You playfully hit him, his character jumping away with a red tint. He scooted closer, now whispering into the mic.

“You like me.”

“No, I don't.”

“Liar.”

After a few seconds, you turned back at him and logged off. You heard him chuckle for a while before also logging off. You tabbed back to the call to leave.

“I win. Seeya later, Jay.” He said before leaving the call.

You couldn't help but smile widely, feeling butterflies and biting your lip. You ended the stream and left your desk to go to bed, laying down with your phone. You could barely sleep, your mind running wild thinking about Dan.

[icedteaandoldlace]

Okay, just ran a few tests to confirm, and it's official—@silvergrayandmauve has been shadowbanned.

What that means, apparently?

none of my posts show up in any tags I put on them

you can't find my blog in search results, you can only view it by going directly to silvergrayandmauve.tumblr.com via address bar in a browser, or clicking my username in posts where I'm mentioned

if I interact with your post in any way, you don't get notified for it

if you look at the notes on posts I've interacted with, you can't see my name or how I've interacted with it, it just looks like a glitch saying there's more notes than there really are

if you send me an ask and I answer it privately, the message appears in your inbox and you do get a notification

if you send me an ask and I answer it publicly, you don't get notified, you can only see it by going directly to my blog

I can't send asks, period, though I'm honestly not sure if that was already a side blog thing before or if that is because of the shadowban

if I try to DM you over chat, I get an error message, you get nothing

I don't even have a chat box as far as anyone looking at my blog is concerned

people who follow me can see my posts on their dash like normal, but can't get any kind of notifications from me, barring private answers to asks

people can reblog my posts and they'll be visible to others

I can get notifications and see everything just fine, but I can't do anything to make anyone see me without getting boosted by another blog (like making this post on main instead of on SG&M)

the only way my fics are gonna get any kind of exposure on Tumblr is through posting them on main and/or through reblogs, so prepare yourselves, followers, I'm gonna be boosting them a lot

writers of fics I've said nice things about recently don't even know it, probably, and I'm not even sure how long that's been the case

This Sucks

I can only suspect that the reason my blog was shadowbanned was because almost every post on it includes an external link to AO3 and/or FFN (BECAUSE IT'S A FANFICTION SIDE BLOG), so staff just thinks I'm a bot, I guess. I tried contacting support about it last night, but my Internet connection was abysmal, so I'll have to try again later.

In the meantime, have any other writers on Tumblr encountered this problem? And do you know how to avoid having this happen again when 99.9% of your posts include external links?

EDIT: No longer shadowbanned!! Yay!! But I'm leaving this post up in case anyone needs it so they can tell if they've been shadowbanned or not (and because the link to the Reddit thread that got me in touch with the staff member who fixed it is in the replies).

Also, the not being able to send asks IS a side blog thing and not a shadowban thing.

[mbbsgf]

MIGHT BE TRIGGERING FOR SOME !

okay, so this is a way more detailed version of the paragraph i just wrote (i'm probably gonna get emotional, i apologize in advance). 2023 was one tough year itself. i don't think i'll mention some of the things that happened because it's too personal bug i'll "try my best" i guess. i hate how life treated me this year. i'm so for real, it has been so mean to me. it just kept punching me in my weak spots. and it punched hard. really hard. i honestly don't know how i survived 2023, i guess i stayed strong for my future even though it gives me bad anxiety. i didn't wanna be a "failed teenager", i didn't wanna see my mom cry, i didn't wanna give up. well, i did but i decided not to. it's pointless to give up. you're in pain so you think ending your life will help but it doesn't. your pain is just temporary. you have your whole life ahead of you. it gets better. i know it's easy to say but i used to not believe it either but i'm getting better. i've been in this insufferable pain since 2021 and trust me, it wasn't easy at all and it wasn't easy at all to get better either but it took me 2 years to start getting better. you just have to wait, i promise you gets better. trust the process, stay healthy and hydrated and everything will be fine. you guys text me if you need to talk or anything else. i promise you i'll always be here. you're never alone. ever. there's always people that care and will listen to what we you have to say. i care and will listen to you. don't ever invalidate your feelings, babies. ever, it's such a disgusting thing to do to yourself. you deserve to share your feelings with someone trusted, if not me then one of your friends. just talk to someone if you ever feel like you're not okay. you should suffer in silence just because you think you're gonna annoy the person you're talking to or because you think it doesn't matter. it does matter. you matter. don't ever forget that you are loved and cared for. you deserve to speak up and to tell your stories. mental health isn't something that should be joked about. if you aren't okay, reach out for help but please don't joke it out or anything. i used (and still do tbh) to joke about my traumas as a coping mechanism. it's stupid, yes. i'm aware but i genuinely don't know how to communicate. i'm working on it but it's hard as someone who barely opens up. well, looks like this turned out to be more of a mental health late session talk, i really hope you guys are okay and if you're not that you'll reach out for help. you know, i'm only a dm away. i'll always answer except if i'm sleeping but tumblr is the first app i open in the morning so i will see your messages if you send some. you can dm me or even do anons to share your stories with other people and me. it can be anonymous or not. it depends on you. anyway, it's starting to get late. i hope i helped even if it's just a little bit. i love you guys so much and you matter. 🩷

-marie

[potatomountain]

heyyyy it's kamstheold from AO3! Your DMs are closed so i decided to send this message as an ask, i hope you don't mind!

loved the newest chapter! I think i said most of what i wanted to say in my comment on ao3 so i'll copy paste it here.

SeonghwaSeonghwaSeonghwaSeonghwaSeonghwaSeonghwaSeonghwaSeonghwaSeonghwaSeonghwaSeonghwaSeonghwaSeonghwaSeonghwaSeonghwaSeonghwaSeonghwaSeonghwaSeonghwaSeonghwaSeonghwaSeonghwaSeonghwaSeonghwaSeonghwaSeonghwaSeonghwaSeonghwaSeonghwaSeonghwaSeonghwaSeonghwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa can you tell I'm already excited for the next chapter? I don't even care if their convo goes badly and he's an asshole to her, I just love hwa lmao it's nice that she's getting more vulnerable moments with the rest of the boys but when she finds about the cameras in her apartment it's gonna be a potential shitshow and oh god it's gonna get worse before it gets better, isn't it? I'm interested to see how her potential future conversation with Mingi about everything that went down goes 👀

and just to further emphasis:

SeonghwaSeonghwaSeonghwaSeonghwaSeonghwaSeonghwaSeonghwaSeonghwaSeonghwaSeonghwaSeonghwaSeonghwaSeonghwaSeonghwaSeonghwaSeonghwaSeonghwaSeonghwaSeonghwaSeonghwaSeonghwaSeonghwaSeonghwaSeonghwaSeonghwaSeonghwaSeonghwaSeonghwaSeonghwaSeonghwaSeonghwaSeonghwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Omg yessas I love this!!! I too am excited for Seonghwa but I can confidently say it's a good talk ^^ atp all but Jongho have softened up to her, and are interested in her on some level.

Seonghwa is just going to be mother :3 and spoiler: He has a motorcycle 🤭

And oh yes, when she discovers the cameras it's mostly definitely going to escalate quickly but the question is how deep is she with them when she does? 👀🤭

Good question on Mingi though, I wonder how that will be handled. So much needs to be resolved but there is also so much to be uncovered and done as well lmao

I'm so happy you loved the chapter and that you're excited! Your comments on ao3 and now this truly got me giggling and kicking my feet!! Thank you!!

[our-blood-is-our-ink]

It’s so incredibly rude to just jump on other people’s idea posts and go off on a tangent about your own version of their idea.

Before doing this you should consider:

A) Did the person sharing the idea specifically state in the post that their idea was open to interpretations?

B) Did the post state that anyone was welcome to add on to the idea?

If not, don’t go dumping your own personal thoughts on the post.

Saying “why didn’t I think of that?” on someone’s idea post isn’t a compliment. It’s making a post about you - which it is not!

Not everything about a specific actress’ characters is about you.

I know that you and your close friends like to think that you have some sort of monopoly over Kathryn’s characters, but you don’t.

It’s rude to go spewing your own personal thoughts over other people’s ideas posts, unless the post specifically asks for the input of others.

Especially when you do so, uninvited, with another friend - going back and forth with replies on someone else’s ideas posts!

Yourself and a specific close friend/friends may have some sort of “yes, and..” situation, in which you freely add on to each other’s ideas posts, but this stays between the two of you. You cannot just do this to absolutely anyone’s posts.

Have some common decency and just leave other people’s ideas alone, unless their post explicitly states otherwise.

*sigh*

You know, I can't tell if this about the post from @cthulhus-curse or @the-scarlet-witch-22 but in either situation they both seem fine with it Nonnie.

This isn't the first message you've sent me, obsessing over this idea that I and my mutuals apparently seem to believe we have a monopoly on all things Hahnverse, and I think that says more about you than it does me.

Send me another message again, and I'll simply report you for harassing me, because I'm now explicitly asking that you stop sending me these kinds of messages through my inbox.

If you want, I'd be happy to have a civil conversation with you via DMs about your strong feelings regarding my blog, though I strongly recommend a therapist instead seeing as I'm a stranger behind the screen you can't seem to stop being angry at.

[the-earth-priestess]

okay well. my partner suggested that nobody was requesting my readings because i was underselling myself. AND I REALISED WELL... god i really am. if i was offered a reading for less than five bucks i wouldn't take it lmfao. i would think it would be terrible quality no matter what reviews i saw. so here i am with a revised version of my commissions post.

the cost: pay what you want minimum aud$75 per question/topic/ask.

the content: with one ask, you get two readings, one each of tarot and oracle. i will not tell you to do anything -- this is not a place for you to be ordered around, and you always retain your agency and autonomy with me. i will offer intuitive information, empathy, kindness and suggestions for better living, mental health and spiritual wellness. i will offer descriptions of for example your current trajectory of your future spouse/lover/partner, your future job, your road to healing. everything i say is an accumulation of my life experiences, understandings of humanity, emotional intelligence, wisdom and gentleness. everything i say is a message from whatever it is you may believe in, or maybe just as simple as something that you need to hear. everything i say is said with pure unconditional love. however, you always retain the capacity to choose what you internalise! if you are not sure about what topic you want to choose, let me know. you will still get a comprehensive reading of what you need to know right now.

the reviews: click here to view my site where you can see examples of past readings and reviews of the quality of my work.

for rules and terms and conditions, tap the read more. hope to see you soon!

the rules:

reblog, like, follow. then comment and tell me about your day or something meaningful to you.

send however much you want, min aud$75, to my ko-fi, but don't forget to tell me your tumblr url in the tip message.

then send a public ask saying you want a reading. you can pick/describe a topic, but allow me to phrase the question for the cards. if you're not sure what you want to ask, leave it to me, and i'll ask the cards what you need to know right now.

optional but after my reading, i'll ask you to leave your feedback on my site.

terms/conditions: i will take most topics, just about anything goes. however if i cannot do your reading i will dm you and we can discuss alternatives. if i can't read for you i will refund you. if you are abusive or rude i will refuse to read for you and refund. if this post takes off please practice patience as i get to you.

thank you so much for reading. please consider my offer! 🍃🦋