#i'll hold onto them for now
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After episode 4, I am now fully convinced that Bison is not as naive as he initially comes off as. He does have some naivety thanks to being so sheltered and protected and loved by Fadel. But nowhere near as naive as falling head over heels in love with Kant the moment Kant shows interest in having a long term relationship with him.
The whole incident with Babe being bullied at school showed just how smart and meticulous and sensible Bison really is. Bison doesn't show that side of him in missions with Fadel because he doesn't have to. And also because he doesn't want to. Bison hates being an assassin. He doesn't want to do these missions. He doesn't want to kill people. So he can't be bothered to be serious during his missions with Fadel. Because he knows that Fadel will take care of it. He knows Fadel has all of it under control. But when Fadel is not there to take care of things, Bison is more than capable of taking charge.
I grossly underestimated what lengths Bison can go to protect the fantasy he has created of his relationship with Kant. Bison is very much living in a fantasy. And he is also very much aware that he is living in a fantasy. So he is willing to do anything to maintain this fantasy and somehow keep holding on it. Nobody is allowed to ruin this fantasy for Bison; not Kant's creepy ex, not Fadel, not Kant and certainly not Bison himself. If Fadel can notice how shady Kant is, Bison can definitely notice it too, and even more so than Fadel because he is actually interacting with Kant. Do you want me to believe that Bison can notice Babe's wounds hidden under his shirt and not Kant's fake smile when he lies? I would rather believe that Bison does notice all of it and just chooses to ignore it. Because to him, nothing is more important than keeping his fantasy alive.
Bison is not in love with Kant yet. He is still in love with the idea of falling in love. However, he is starting to catch real feelings. But with how focused Bison is on keeping his fantasy alive, I don't think he even realizes just how invested he is becoming in Kant. Especially after he witnessed how much Kant cares for Babe, the younger brother in Bison can't help but be touched by Kant. And this is only going to make the fallout after the truth comes out that much worse.
I also find it interesting how Bison deals with the obstacles that threaten his fantasy.
First obstacle, his own suspicions about Kant. This is easy to deal with. He just chooses to overlook all shady things about Kant, gaslights himself and deludes himself to believe that the fantasy he is living in is real.
Second obstacle, Fadel. This is also pretty easy to overcome because all he has to do is whine and throw a tantrum for Fadel to give in. This is why I think him asking Kant to look for someone to keep Fadel occupied is a test to see just how interested Kant is in himself as well as genuinely wanting someone for Fadel. He is perfectly capable of making Fadel give in to him and what he wants.
The third obstacle is Kant and also his ex that popped out to show his presence out of nowhere. Bison's way of dealing with them is threatening to off them. I mean he makes it very clear that while he is willing to overlook all the shady things for the time being, but if they come between him and his fantasy he will get rid of them. And I find that so fascinating.
Episode 4 has me so excited for Bison's future character development because now I am almost sure that he will go batshit crazy when his fantasy falls apart. I am so so so excited for psycho Bison. There is something about a sweet and cute and adorable little munchkin terrifying the living daylights out of everyone around him that I love so much. I really hope Bison is as completely unhinged and impulsive and crazy as I imagine him to be. But even if he isn't that won't stop me from enjoying his character for what it is.
#thk#bison meta#i have learned to properly tag these posts so that i can find them more easily#glad i managed to finish this before ep 5 drops#i am soooooooo excited for the new episode#i had some theories about fadelbison's parents and the whole thing with ruerat#but i really don't have the energy to write those#i'll hold onto them for now
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I think I'm gonna die soon if I don't talk abt Martha and her brothers
#BRUCE HAS TWO UNCLES AND HONESTLY? HONESTLY???#i am gonna fucking scream#literally wheres my post mortem panic. that scene where marthas and thomas families gather to decide what to do witj bruce#whos still reeking of death everywhere he goes and cant stand the taste of life#wheres my Philip kane -- the youngest of them the dumbest of them -- who says they cant just volley with a child#and have a contest over who wants him LEAST#wheres my jacob kane with a voice like winter observing Gotham from a clean glass window as he stares at the misery below#'do YOU want him then?' and philip stays quiet. hes serious. its unnatural for him to be serious. hes the stupid little brother#the jester. the family clown. he's thomas' favourite because he makes them laugh like a court monkey#and now he'll never hear thomas laugh again#and he still can’t bring himself to say he does#and bruce? bruce is tugging on Alfred’s trousers. he wants up. he wants to die#and alfred holds onto him and won't let him. 'take him.from me. i'll kill us both.'#AAAAAAAA#philip kane#jacob kane#martha kane#martha wayne#bruce wayne#HISSSS SHIS SSHISSSS#wahhh wails and cries#young bruce wayne
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i've always wanted to be able to draw ponies but have always struggled with them but now that i'm starting to get the hang of it they're so SQUISHY ....
... so of course, i had to draw dazai Immediately. and then chuuya.
i love them :3
plus extra doodle with sskk under the cut!!
he's glaring with all his might .
#my art#bungou stray dogs#soukoku#bsd dazai#bsd chuuya#mlp fim#my little pony#mlp crossover#they're just so CUTEEEE#i want to squish them :3#bsd atsushi#bsd akutagawa#shin soukoku#and ofc.#the sillies.#i had a lot of fun making these!!#i drew more but i'll hold onto them for now
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nothing gets me like a character with overt flower symbolism ESPECIALLY self-inflicted
#this post is about#lyney#choosing to use rainbow roses instead of lumi bells for his magic tricks from now on#bc he finds out lumis represent farewells. and rainbow roses represent passion. and he wants to hold onto his connection with#the main character who he's hopelessly gay for (either in the homosexual way or the bisexual way depending on the gender of mc)#but pla tag other characters and ocs and tell me their flower symbolism so i can be unwell about them too#snowswords#Genshin Impact#flower symbolism#i will tag my ocs now#onphora#gets daffodil bc ofc. they are lethal to everyone who isn't (found) family. even then they are stingy w trust/affection ...#tam#tammy#choses lilies bc she holds them at the funeral for a man she hated. flower of fuck you. flower of i do whatever i want especially now#flower of ... doing the right thing. i will mourn you but not bc you deserve it. alsooo lilies can be speckled (: like tam's freckles#elis#hmm i would give elis carnations. white ones w purple dye (: fun n cheap n accommodating n kinda tryhard flowers. but you love em for it <3#i should assign more flowers to more OCs. i'll add them as i come up w them#OH i assigned#relin#who belongs to#cosmic#magnolias. ancient plants (relin's lineage is important) that represent endurance. that man sure endures ...#OMG I FORGOT I ASSIGNED#senjuro#SUNFLOWERS BC HE IS A SUNFLOWER. HIS LOVE WOULD BE TOO MUCH! HE WAS LEFT IN THE DUST ... and bc he's a sunshiny kid. my poor boy ...
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thank you for sending me eiffel thoughts; i really appreciate it. ♡
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I love how you completely changed everyone’s wardrobe for the Beach Episode, save for gorgug’s hoodie (do they take it in the water?) do you wanna talk about the outfit choices at all?
I mean there's not a lot to talk about there I think? I'm a big fashion-focused character design artist, I'll say that, but a lot of that I can't really translate into words sadly... there are just certain character-specific silhouettes that once u've picked out u can hang onto to give them new clothes and it'll usually be good that's kinda how I do it. I fully see gorgug going Anywhere in that hoodie tho I think by this point babygirl's like I have a theory it's indestructible and I intend to test it
#not art#that material holds onto sand like crazy but at least it's thick enough that the sand shouldnt be going thru#tbh I think the toughest thing I needed to figure out for the beach piece was how many accessories to include for the kids lol#cause riz was inventory stacking and fabian and fig have a bunch of piercings n such#and like it'd def be fun to draw all that on them but 1/wearing metal on top of hot sand is torture actually 2/What If You Lose The Things#<- suffers from the brain condition that randomly shreds ur short term memory#same reason I almost gave adaine her jacket in the piece but eventually I figured it'd muddle the silhouette too much#someone in the tags pointed out that fig who is fully immune to fire damage is holding the sunscreen bottle and all I can say is:#>:]#thats not for her to use on herself. she has Intentions#I. mm idk turns out if u ask me specific things abt any of the designs I'll have things to say abt it but its all like#really small granular logistics stuff lol. I havent been to the beach in literal years#actually now Im imagining like gorgug getting shot by a whole crossbow that went thru like his shoulders or something#and theres a hole in his shoulder but not on the hoodie. somehow#indestructible garment that doesnt actually protect you is very funny I think#the cybertruck of hoodies.....
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oh it's valentine's day i should probably post some of the vvyk doodles i've been sitting on for months--
oh no. oh no that's far too many. i can't post all this at once. help
#this doesn't even include 1. anything in boba au 2. either of them separately 3. anything nsfw--- I MEAN. what. who said that#sigh. well now that i have homework to procrastinate on maybe i'll end up posting these images finally#i also do draw other characters i promise. there's a bunch of silly makotos i've been holding onto... you will see him... eventually
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I am so curious! do you have any headcanons for gabe/v2?
oh! hm. i guess one of the things that i have in mind is that v2 tries its best to be as sweet as possible. and, since it IS a war-killing-machine, it does not quite understand what does sweetness means. it leans for kisses, bumping in gabriels helmet's gently on good days, and hitting him with all its might breaking its visor on bad day. maybe it tries to hold hands but does not know the force that it is putting into it leading to break the poor gabriel's hand. it tries not to be the killing machine like v1 is, really does. gabriel is not very fond of all this affection and is very suspicious of v2 but sometimes its warm motherplate and droning sounds just gets him, yknow. besides, it seems like v2 is the only thing in the whole damn world who understands his hatred towards v1
ON THE OTHER HAND the idea of v2 being like "i know NOTHING about this angel bitch and i want to keep it that way" speaks to me very loud. you know the idea of "the enemy of my enemy is my friend" and then having some warm feelings towards gabriel for unknown reasons... UHGAHHHH THRES SO MUCH POTENTIAL!!!!!!!!!
my point is, we were fucking robbed. i rest my case
#sorry if the writings messy or incomprehensible its middle of the night english is not my first language i need to go to sleep#tbh i didnt think that much of them together#the idea is brilliant i love it but i cant make myself do anything more with it#i'll keep drawinf them kiss adn holding hands and etc for now and maybe later........#smth will come up.....#do i even put ultrakill tag onto it?#fuck it we all love some gay robots headcanons#ultrakill#gabv2el
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~
#succeeded in actually doing some writing tonight which feels good#i'll be holding onto some things until i finish more and will start posting them :) plus i've got concepts for some metas/hcs that i want#to talk about so i suppose that's something more to look forward to!#for now I'm putting this snarky ass (me) to bed lol#goodnight everyone!
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Chapter 5: The Sure-Kill Fangs
#hyuuga continues to be a driving force and i like that a lot#i really enjoy when characters have a long-term impact even when they're not around anymore and i also like watching the memories and grief#over them being used as a driving force behind other characters' actions#ryouma keeps hold onto his sword bc it was his brother's and so he is kidnapped but he has to keep hyuuga's words in mind when escaping and#retrieving the kiba blades as he knows that if he doesn't think ahead like his brother told him he could be cornered and beat#really enjoying so far how hyuuga is guiding ryouma in his growth and his settling into being gingared when that wasn't what was planned#will probably have more to say about these things later on but for now i'll leave it at that#umbrella.thoughts#umbrella.posts#gingaman lb#super sentai lb
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i am at the looking-at-dolls-as-self-soothing part of the night. i definitely wanna beef up my bratz collection since unboxing my alwayz bratz yasmin was just like... oh... oh man... and... and i didn't think it'd be like that for me man i didn't think i had as much nostalgia for bratz as i actually do not just buy owning some but by touching them and playing w their clothes and their hair.
and one of my issues of course is that i'm a redhead and as a redhead my Default Lookalike Doll is meygan (not that having a doll that looks like you is the most important part of bratz, but it is so much of the fun right? the fact that there's a character out there for just about everyone?). and i like meygan as a character well enough, that's not the issue. but of the meygan dolls that have been reproduced, there's none of them that are like, hardcore needs for me except for sweetheart meygan. and i did not buy sweetheart meygan in time. i was not really collecting at that point. that was like 2022. i had a few... na na na surprise dolls at that time. which is funny bc i have four of those that i got all either on clearance or w giftcards and i do really like them even though a lot of doll collectors thought they were kinda dumb, and they were. i just liked the gimmick of the fabric bodies and there were just enough dolls i thought were really cute that i kinda caved at one point. i also knew it was a brand i wouldn't go overboard with. anyway. we were talking about meygan...
sorry meygan back to you girl. i know original 2000s bratz that have not yet been reproduced at crazy expensive on the secondhand market and it's genuinely out of control. but sweet heart meygan, both the repro and the original, are selling for triple digits on mercari, ebay, what have you. that's just ridiculous. frankly. i'm not buying her at that. i don't even like her enough to hunt for her regularly, if that's how it's gonna be. there are plenty of more readily-available bratz dolls that are either regular retail price or clearancing online andin stores. did you guys know alwayz bratz jade is going for 15 bucks on amazon right now? that's crazy. the other always bratz dolls aren't going for that low if they're even marked down yet. that release wasn't even that long ago. anyway i'm thinking of getting jade from that line bc i know some ppl thought that alwayz jade was a let-down, but i thought she was cute. yasmin was my favorite from that line and that's why i got her but jade was my second fave there easily.
i also wanna get the kumi they reproduced sometime and maybe girls nite out cloe since i see she's still available. it's funny there aren't that many core girls i've wanted from the repros but if i go for any of the cloes, new or old, it's gotta be girls nite out. cloe isn't even usually my favorite character no offense blondes she's just kinda. she's just kinda cloe to me. idk i love her but i'm not gagged over her most of the time. these are still bratz standardz we're talking about here so obviously i love her.
there's nothing going on in the world right now other than my bratz dolls. and if someone we won't mention wins the election, i'm definitely going doll crazy. i'm gonna be buying dolls after this anyway, but i'm gonna justify spending an unusual, nearly-irresponsible amount of money. you know. bc i'm an adult and i can.
hey also and of all the lines they could've reproduced why is their most recent slumber party? why? why? when the poll posted by mga had tokyo a go go WINNING? bc tokyo a go go is the correct option? i mean the slumber party line is cute and i like the base dolls and the accessories especially the stuffed animals are cute. but. everyone knows the bratz audience these days is adult collectors. which adult collectors are losing their minds over dolls in pajamas and bathrobes? again they're CUTE. but why. also why did they reproduce bratz babyz when those things were nightmare fuel
#tales from diana#yeah and i have the jimmy paul pride two-pack w roxxi and nevra arriving tomorrow :)#i'm still probably gonna buy all these dolls i'm talking about at some point but i'm just gonna space them out#now is a pretty good time to be a budding bratz collector bc there have been AFFORDABLE OPTIONS once again#but they are not all that way#and i'm so happy for my own sake that i had no emotional investment w the mean girls dolls bc that shit was ridiculous#fuck mga for that one for real#yeah the bratz i have now are the alwayz yasmin and the campfire felicia repro#i should've unboxed felicia first bc i honestly like her better and her hair (being braided) would've been way less of a mess#i have to wash yasmin's hair and im worried about it bc i've never washed doll hair before#but i'm gonna be so honest w you. the state that shit was in? was borderline unacceptable. lol#it's so hard and gelled that i cannot just brush it or anything#the back ie what you could not see in the box is especially nasty... like come on#the alwayz bratz as much as i do like them overall are not the same quality as 2000s bratz. i have to say#not just bc they don't come w a second outfit but the fabric quality and construction just isn't what it used to be#they're still good dolls don't get me wrong. but i feel like they're less pressured bc of how cheap barbies are nowadays#they don't have to put in the same elbow grease to be 'better'#anyway i'm glad i'm talking about bratz dolls which are the only thing that matter in the world to me right now#la la la la la i'm plugging my ears. la la la la la nothing is going on#i have to get a sasha at some point too but idk which one i want? and i want one that's on shelves now not a secondhand. not dealing w that#i think i'll hold onto the hope of tokyo a go go being reproduced bc that's one of my favorite sashas. & she's the best in that line imo#her hair and makeup are just gorgeous and her outfit is adorable#that's like peak sasha and peak bratz to me#but i also like the new pretty n punk sasha. idk. i will wait for suuuuure. don't rush diana#i don't think i wanna have more than one doll of any character before i have a more extensive bratz collection#so who i choose to get for the core 4 is vital... i'm happy w my current yasmin though. the other 3 are kinda up in the air
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Apologies, I've mentioned it in a post already, but my art requests are currently closed! Every request I'm posting right now was taken from a period of time where they were open a few weeks back, so I could have something to work on while I was disconnected from the internet. I'm not taking new requests at the moment, I'm so sorry!
#I did mention this in a post but I'll say it again as I've gotten about seven more requests tonight#I'm sorry but I won't be doing them right now however I'll hold onto them in case I'd ever like to in the future#thank you!
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I just recently read the Kite Runner and I can't tell you how much I need a fic where Tigris says "There is a way to be good again" to Coriolanus.
#mine#doomed siblings#<-that's now the tigris and coryo tag on this blog#that line is just so perfect for them#Tirgis will always love her little brother Coryo but Crassus's son Coriolanus is someone she doesn't even know#she wants that version of him back and tries to hold onto it far past the point of no return#but in fanfic it could actually work#he could listen to reason#there could be a redemption arc#they make me crazy#i'm sorry i'll stop#tigris snow#coriolanus snow#ballad of songbirds and snakes#this will 100% go into a fic of mine at some point i'm just not sure which one or when#queue
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idk I had a very interesting therap today but I just
like it's all very well to recognise that I gotta have a fucking open-ended breakdown and jump face first into the Sadness Bog sometimes instead of sitting on all my feelings
but like
I still have to go to work, you know? it's like. ok yeah have a breakdown which like until you jump into it you don't know if it's going to last an hour or a year. yeah go ahead that's all grand. you do have to get up in the morning and go to work though. you're not allowed to not do that. or to not pay the rent or not shower or not eat.
like all my friends and loved ones are constantly like 'you know you're allowed to be sad right' and it's like. AM I??? because I STILL HAVE TO PAY RENT.
#red said#the thing my therapist keeps pointing out is like. i got on this adulthood thing WAY too early#metaphorically i have Had To Go To Work In The Morning since i was like. 4. bc i am congenitally incapable of#Not Thinking About Consequences. and it's so important to be Good and Tough and Have It Together#but like. maybe if id done more crying and melting down when i DIDN'T Have To Go To Work In The Morning bc i was a Literal Infant#i might be a more balanced adult now that i actually DO. Have To Go To Work In The Morning.#what do people like. do. when they have to have feelings but also meet adult responsibilities? impossible. gotta choose.#i think it doesn't help that i already really struggle to work a full time job. like I'm already late basically every day bc i a night guy#so it's like. there's no give in this. maybe if i was back into a 3-4 day week? but idk if i can afford that#but also the work is only partly work. it's also like. having human relationships. eating. washing. being a person.#but idk. like. until i have some genuinely open-ended time i think I'm gonna always find it impossible to actually let go#i said in therapy it's like. like sadness specifically is like a thick muddy bog. and i can dip a foot in it#but bc i know i need to be able to keep moving#i can only stick a foot in and deal with a bit of it if I'm holding onto something. so in practise i can only cry#right before it becomes inappropriate to cry. so like. end of a therapy session. heading to a train station after seeing someone.#that kind of thing. it's a safety thing.#it would be much more effectively Dealing With to go dive into the bog and plough through it#but I DON'T KNOW HOW LONG THAT'LL TAKE and i have to like. come out all muddy and deal with that#and there's always somewhere i gotta be soon. i can't just jump into the mud. not cause I'll get hurt i just Don't Have Time#anyway. feelings. how do they work. embarrassed about having them. embarrassed about suppressing them. generally just embarrassed.
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/ somehow coffee with favorite cookies tends to be a writing motivator when I am otherwise not motivated.
#{ bravewolf mun }#/ also I've started usually drafting my replies before posting them so I hold onto them for a bit now#could be like a day or more it just kinda depends#particularly helpful on non coffee and cookies days when I'm not motivated LOL#but sometimes I feel BAD when I get a reply and finish mine in turn within the same day so I'm like#I'll. just. hold onto this. so the poor person doesn't get it back IMMEDIATELY#unless you're Natty well then Get Fucked if I feel like replying immediately :)#but that one goes both ways Natty replies at the speed of light sometimes too I'm not the only guilty party here :) /
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dear ao3
sorry for marking fics for later so rapidly you have to stop me occasionally for fear of ddos, I appreciate you looking out for everyone and I promise I'm neither a robot nor acting maliciously but I'll wait anyway
love sheepy
#I've been keeping all my ao3 bookmarks as internet shortcuts on my laptop for. ever.#all my other fanfic bookmarks too#though the ffn ones got cleared out when I scraped them all a few years ago#(yes I saved the link to each fic in the word documents)#so I'm pulling them all up to mark for later to reread and bookmark through ao3's system#since it's so nicely searchable and all#and all the bookmarks on my computer have is title fandom and author name#so I can't search very easily#I'll still hold onto them for a while just in case#it's a whole Process#there's less than 500 of them in total#but I have to stop every like 10-20 because ao3 is like 'woah now slow down there'#which. fair.#but since the wifi on my computer where the shortcuts are stored is broken#I have to type the work number into the url on a different device (my ipad)#for every single one#and my hands are fucking freezing cuz I only had one of the two heaters on and I can't plug in my heated blanket with my laptop plugged in#(both heaters are on now)#another reason to save the offline bookmarks: some of the works have been orphaned since I made the shortcuts#so if I end up archiving the ao3 fics similarly I can add that data back in
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