#i'll get over it.
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surgery incoming, have never been operated before: all good having a VERY SMALL AND INSIGNIFICANT crush on your friend: 4 KILLED, 79 INJURED
#how did that give me an anxiety attack yesterday holy shit#i'll get over it.#if i keep telling that to myself lmao
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if girls are scared they shouldn't have to do anything ever
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main take aways from Halloween (1978) rewatch:
michael myers is canonically 21??? this bitch should be at the club
*sees tiddies* ***MURDEROUS RAMPAGE NOISES***
that's it that's the movie
outside of the fact that everyone who has sex is murdered by the narrative, this is a surprisingly chill portrayal of female sexuality? these teen girls are horny and actively enjoying Getting It On with their boytoys. no pushy boyfriends sneaking in through their bedroom windows--these ladies are taking the initiative to sneak out and GET SOME. one of them gets laid and then immediately orders her boyfriend to get her a beer. (yes she gets Slashered soon afterward, but so does the boyfriend so honestly, gender equality.) yes the Final Girl is the only one not having sex, but she's not bullied for that, nor are her friends slut shamed except possibly by being murdered by the narrative
actually the only character who is shown being morally condemned on-screen is michael myers. specifically FOR his violent overreaction to other people's sex lives. (people he is spying on). metaphorically, the villain is American Puritanism sticking its judgy nose into other people's business.
aka Michael Myers Is A Republican
but actually the real villain is the doctor. guy's a judgemental, shaming, pathologizing asshole. and he's been in charge of michael's care since he was SIX YEARS OLD? kid never had a chance. i'd go on a killing spree too
also the parents. where are the parents? it's halloween night and all the teenage girls are home babysitting their younger siblings? come to think of it, michael's first victim was his own older sister, whom he killed while she was babysitting him. teen girls are really shouldering a labour burden here. maybe parentification is the true villain
side note: mike commits his first murder wearing a clown costume...which is never referenced again? his 'iconic' costume is a generic mask and wig and jumpsuit, when we coulda had a Killer Clown Michael Myers??? travesty
i like how the Final Girl and her friend casually smoke weed in her car. yeah she's an honor student and her friend is the sheriff's daughter. yeah they smoke weed. so what it's 1978
(to reiterate, mike is 21 and should be at the club. im not saying he shouldn't be rampaging, im saying it's sad that he broke out, tasted freedom for the first time in his life, and immediately snuck back into his childhood home to go rampaging. let's have a remake where he goes to a nightclub and has a few beers. maybe some slutty dancing. then rampage)
oh no he's hot
#HALLOWEEN#halloween the movie#michael myers#do you think he's a mike? mikey? to his friends? if slashers had friends?#i'll be honest i was expecting this movie to be way more of a bitch to its female characters#i mean yeah they died but so did some dudes#there's just a lack of cattiness compared to the way most later movies portrayed teenage girls idk#yeah the Final Girl is a Virgin and a Bookworm. but there's no bullying or any strong sense that's she's morally superior to everyone else#mostly she AND the other girls feel a bit sorry for her lack of a social life. one even tries to set her up with a date to the school dance#solidarity! trying to get your nerd friend laid!#overall it's just teenagers being teenagers and then a slasher comes in and ruins everything with his Lack Of Chill#like yeah dude sometimes teenagers have sex. get over it#also something to be said about how while the girl who survives is the one who isn't sexually active and dresses conservatively...#ultimately those things aren't ENOUGH to prevent her from being targeted#you could say that the other girls 'provoked' the villain (the same way women irl are so often accused of provoking their attackers)#but ultimately that doesn't keep the Final Girl safe. it just delays the inevitable.#because violent men never need excuses. no matter how eager society is to provide them.#ultimately she is at the mercy of the same violent whims because it was never her behavior that invited the violence.#gendered violence doesn't need an invitation.#also she doesn't save herself the doctor saves her#it's not her actions or choices that put her in danger OR save her from it--once again it is the whim of a man#no this wasn't intended to be a feminist movie it's just fun how you could argue it that way
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I read too many stories of "women" throughout history who lived as men and wore men's clothing getting beaten and arrested for it, sensationalized in the press as "man-woman," painted as perverts and monsters, put in literal freakshows, and forcibly institutionalized to sit by quietly while non-transmascs loudly and confidently claim that "female masculinity" has never been targeted as much as "male femininity" has. Read some trans and queer history that isn't only about gay men and trans women before you open your mouths about butches and transmascs, or better yet just listen to us about our history and experiences in the first place.
#not to mention the modern day lived experiences of trans men and mascs we are always trying to tell you about#I get laughed at and called a dyke for the way I present but yeah sure non transmasc tumblr user you definitely know my life better than me#I've compiled a reading/re-reading list for myself using material from my trans studies classes & over the next couple weeks#I'll be posting some important bits from them that illustrate some of these situations I've learned about once I have more details#trying not to engage with transandrophobes online but when this rhetoric is coming directly from trans academics it's like :/#transandrophobia#mine
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Learning that fans hated Applejack and called her "boring" is crazyyy to me because I genuinely, unironically believe AJ's the most complex character in the main six.
Backstory-wise, she was born into a family of famers/blue collar workers who helped found the town she lives in. She grew up a habitual liar until she had the bad habit traumatized outta her. She lost both her parents and was orphaned at a young age, having to step up as her baby sister's mother figure. She's the only person in the main gang who's experienced this level of loss and grief (A Royal Problem reveals that AJ dreams about memories of being held by her parents as a baby). She moved to Manhattan to live with her wealthy family members, only to realize she'll never fit in or be accepted, even amongst her own family. The earlier seasons imply she and her family had money problems too (In The Ticket Master, AJ wants to go to the gala to earn money to buy new farm equipment and afford hip surgery for her grandma).
Personality-wise, she's a total people-pleaser/steamroller (with an occasional savior complex) who places her self worth on her independence and usefulness for other people, causing her to become a complete workaholic. In Applebuck Season, AJ stops taking care of herself because of her obsessive responsibilities for others and becomes completely dysfunctional. In Apple Family Reunion, AJ has a tearful breakdown because in she thinks she dishonored her family and tarnished her reputation as a potential leader –– an expectation and anxiety that's directly tied to her deceased parents, as shown in the episode's ending scene. In The Last Roundup, AJ abandons her family and friends out of shame because believes she failed them by not earning 1st place in a rodeo competition. She completely spirals emotionally when she isn't able to fulfill her duties toward others. Her need to be the best manifests in intense pride and competitiveness when others challenge her. And when her pride's broken, she cowers and physically hides herself.
Moreover, it's strongly implied that AJ has a deep-seated anger. The comics explore her ranting outbursts more. EQG also obviously has AJ yelling at and insulting Rarity in a jealous fit just to hurt her feelings (with a line that I could write a whole dissection on). And I'm certain I read in a post somewhere that in a Gameloft event, AJ's negative traits are listed as anger.
Subtextually, a lot of these flaws and anxieties can be (retroactively) linked to her parents' death, forcing her to grow up too quickly to become the adult/caregiver of the family (especially after her big brother becomes semiverbal). Notice how throughout the series, she's constantly acting as the "mom friend" of the group (despite everything, she manages to be the most emotionally mature of the bunch). Notice how AJ'll switch to a quieter, calmer tone when her friends are panicking and use soothing prompts and questions to talk them through their emotions/problems; something she'd definitely pick up while raising a child. Same with her stoicism and reluctance at crying or releasing emotions (something Pinkie explicitly points out). She also had a childhood relationship with Rara (which, if you were to give a queer reading, could easy be interpreted as her first 'aha' crush), who eventually left her life. (Interestingly enough, AJ also has an angry outburst with Rara for the same exact reasons as with EQG Rarity; jealous, upset that someone else is using and changing her). It's not hard to imagine an AJ with separation anxiety stemming from her mother and childhood friend/crush leaving. I'm also not above reading into AJ's relationship with her little sister (Y'all ever think about how AB never got to know her parents, even though she shares her father's colors and her mother's curly hair?).
AJ's stubbornness is a symptom of growing up too quickly as well. Who else to play with your baby sister when your brother goes nonverbal (not to discount Big Mac's role in raising AB)? Who else to wake up in the middle of the night to care for your crying baby sister when your grandma needs her rest? When you need to be 100% all the time for your family, you tend to become hard-stuck with a sense of moral superiority. You know what's best because you have to be your best because if you're aren't your best, then everything'll inevitably fall apart and it'll be your fault. And if you don't know what's best –– if you've been wrong the whole time –– that means you haven't been your best, which means you've failed the people who rely on you, which means you can't fulfill your role in the family/society, which makes you worthless . We've seen time and time again how this compulsive need to be right for the sake of others becomes self-destructive (Apple Family Reunion, Sound of Silence, all competitions against RD). We've seen in The Last Roundup how, when no longer at her best, AJ would rather remove herself from her community than confront them because she no longer feels of use to them.
But I guess it is kinda weird that AJ has "masculine" traits and isn't interested in men at all. It's totally justified that an aggressively straight, misogynistic male fandom would characterize her as a "boring background character." /s
At the time of writing this, it's 4:46AM.
#mlp#yeah i wrote this last night during insomnia.#yeah i know an embarrassing amount of crap about this kids show#but whatever it's my hyperfixation i'll store as much useless information as i want!!!#i'm gay and neurodivergent i have an excuse#in case you needed more proof that aj's my favorite character#personal#delete later#unless you like this analysis stuff#i get why they didn't reveal aj's parent's death until way later and why they didn't do much with it but i wish they did#cuz narratively there could've been so much material with aj's grief. like. i feel like we gloss over the fact that she lost her#mother and father as a teenager#i tried keeping my personal hcs out of this to keep it unbiased#but i'll put some in the tags#involving rarijack –– i think aj can be (but not always) very self-conscious about her relationship with rarity#anxieties that she's not the right fit or that rarity will move away and leave her some day or that another woman will take her attention#(like in rollercoaster of friendship?? nudge nudge??). basic seperation anxiety stuff#long post#regarding applebloom whenever i think about her and her parents i think about that scene in steven universe where steven looks up at#a portrait of his mother and openly wonders what kind of sack lunches she would've made for him. that episode still fucks me up
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pals drinking together (hand practice that got out of control)
#team fortress 2#tf2 fanart#tf2#tf2 medic#tf2 heavy#heavymedic#im british ok drawing people drinking is part of my hierarchy of needs#i had to draw so many casual outfits so it didn't look like a singular pubcrawl#these are all unrelated doodles i collected together but#i wanted it to sort of look like heavy is warming up to medic over time and medic is learning to shut up and listen#trying to expand my mental library of hands and holding glasses by drawing them a lot sigh#some of these hands are terrible so back to the drawing board (har har) until i get them right#one day i'll draw these characters consistantly
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Today's Seals Are: Big Wet Smooch
#seals#pinniped#daily#I'll never get over seal kisses why do they do it so often#mod ribbon#baikal seal#Actually i think i remember a video of baikal seals being trained to kiss each other?...but ive seen them do it themselves before#phocidae
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when the topic is supernatural (2005-2020) i can't fathom for the life of me how the fuck they thought that killing dean winchester was gonna be a good move they could've given him a wife and kids living behind a white picket fence at least he would be alive but no they killed the gay angel then they killed the bisexual hunter and put a $1,99 wig on the tall guy
#i'll NEVER get over it#BRING DEAN BACK TO ME#spn#supernatural#dean winchester#castiel#destiel#deancas
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Au where Damian comes to Gotham with the goal of infiltrating and eventually overthrowing Batman instead of inheriting the mantle. Not much changes from canon except for the fact that he views everything that batman owns as his. That's his future cave and his future batmobile. This also includes his robins. After all everyone knows Batman wouldn't really be Batman without them.
Cue a very bewildered Tim being lectured on his eating habits by a righteous Damian who won't let one of his people take shortcuts with their health.
#Damian looking at the manor: its free real estate#he almost writes off red hood but after finding out his identity he switches to trying to lure him yo his side#jason gets the head of a random thug who was bothering him on his doorstep#damian: im gonna be a better batman than batman. I'll sway all his allies to my side and then there'll be no complaints when i take over#everyone else: he's such a sweet kid. sorta prickly but he has a good heart ❤️#damian wayne#batman#batfam#bruce wayne#tim drake#jason todd#they all thinks he's trying so hard to be accepted into the fam when infact he's trying to get to the top
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ace detective more like ace DEFECTIVE
#I HATE THIS BITCH SM HES GENUINELY SO FUN TO DRAW FOR NO REASON 😭😭😭😭#bro idk if the first one makes sense to anyone else. 😔 get it cause like akechi is in the siu so he techincally works for the government 😔#i finished shido's palace again and cried like a bitch because of him so im back to drawing persona again im so sorry everyone#my brother deleted persona from the steamdeck i play on and idk how to redownload it so i cant touch the game until christmas now 🫶🏼#i drew a lot over break actually i've just been going back and coloring a few of the sketches i did#idk how ppl draw everyday aren't u exhausted 😭#anyway hope faggotron 6000 dies in the royal version too i can't stand him#persona 5#persona 5 royal#p5#p5r#goro akechi#akechi goro#UHHHH ren is here so i'll tag him#ren amamiya#akira kurusu#lotus draws#goodnight everyone im so tired#i need winter break to come faster.........
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fuck I'm so bisexual, I'm gonna cry
#this girl has a preference for men#but has a bery small and insignificant crush on a girl (possibly. god i hope not. please tell me im wrong)#fuck.#shes kne of my closest friends too I CANF#this is the last thing i need rn#anyway#I'll get over it.#possibly. hopefully#fuxk
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⸢This story is for just that one reader.⸥
#im in my yoohankim feels nobody talk to me#asked the squad what kind of sky suited these bitched and they were like “dusk” and i was like “fuck yeah i love that”#but holy shit orv rewired the circuits in my brain especially these three and their sun moon star motif#i could ramble about them forever but aye I'll shut up now#i will never be getting over this novel#feel free to use the wallpaper for your phone just don't repost it or claim it is yours pls thank#yoohankim#orv#yoo joonghyuk#kim dokja#han sooyoung#doksoo#joongdok#joongsoo#myart#anime art#anime fanart#artists on tumblr#digital art#omniscient reader's viewpoint
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OK correct me if I'm wrong, but I feel like the main 'yin/yang' parallel with Atsushi and Akutagawa is not something like 'this one is bad but secretly has a good side and this one is good but secretly has a bad side'.
I feel like it's more about 'who they are at their core vs who they choose to be'.
At his core Akutagawa is kind and at his core Atsushi is not. But despite this Atsushi tries every day to make the kinder choices and I love him so much for it. He has to work so hard to be good.
He wants to be a bitch SO bad I know he does but he tries his best to help people and be nice (sometimes he fails but that's OK <3)
Atsushi doesn't always WANT to help people, a lot of the time he's selfish and scared, but he does help people anyway. He keeps helping people over and over again. There's still some selfish motivation to it, and his initial motivation for helping people was because the headmaster told him that's all he was worth, but overall he does care about the people he helps and it weighs on him if he fails to save them. And of course, as the series goes on he starts helping people more because he can rather than because he feels like he needs to.
In Akutagawa's case, he's still capable of being kind but his environment led him into being someone who chooses to hurt people. But he's always been a protector at heart. In the start he was bad compared to Atsushi because he was choosing to hurt people and keep the cycle of abuse going. Just like how Atsushi developed in why he saved people, Akutagawa starts to get redeemed when he chooses to not just act on his rage. Not only does he start to spare people, but he speaks more kindly to them (apologising to Higuchi and telling Kyouka he's proud of her). It all culminates into the moment he chooses to help Atsushi and sacrifice himself for him, going back to his core value of being a protector. Even when he's finally revived, he keeps this role in his new position as Aya's Knight.
I kind of see the streaks of white in Akutagawa and the streaks of black in Atsushi not as their 'hidden sides' but as their fundamental selfs. That's who they are at their core, and their main colours (black for Akutagawa and white for Atsushi) are how they're presented to everyone else and how they try to have people see them as.
#I'm just spitballing half of this but these are also my genuine thoughts on these two and their yin/yang parallels#I'll never get over Akutagawa being a protector at heart and getting that side of him buried with rage from growing up in the PM and-#-Dazai's old teachings#also Atsushi being selfish at his core is very important to me. He's not a typical 'kind hearted' shonen protagonist. He's kind not because#-that's how he’s always been but because that's how he chooses to be#I think that kind of character is even more admirable to me#it also fits well with Dazai being his mentor. Since Dazai also doesn't have that initial desire to save people just out of kindness.#He saves people as a promise to his dead friend that wanted him to live a good life#in fact that actually fits with Jouno too#now that I think about it quite a few bsd characters fit into that 'not kind because they were born that way but because they chose to be'-#-archetype#hell yeah. That's kinda cool I like that#bsd analysis#Akutagawa#atsushi#akutagawa ryuunosuke#atsushi nakajima#sskk#shin soukoku#<- Not a ship post but adding this tag since I consider that their duo name too#bsd#bungou stray dogs#bungobble my post
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Zelda goes mushroom girl
#tloz#a link to the past#zelda#link#my art#I was happy with that first one but for some reason decided it still needed a companion piece so I spent way too long on that second one...#I don't think there was any time during the progress where I was happy with it but hfduhdfu at least I got to Attempt drawing moss hell yea#I also at some point sat in Pyu's art stream and said I enjoy drawing legs As I was being murdered by the infamously impossibe (imo) squat.#it's ok I had fun !! but I need to learn how to let doodles be doodles or I'll never finish stuff at this rate dfsuhfd#if everything in my tloz tag looks like it was drawn by different people uuuh 2023 was art crisis year ngl......#I'm falling back into my old ways rn though#anyway I think about these two a lot I think they're both stone faced and awkward ppl in different ways but they try rly hard to be friends#like I like to think it starts out so incredibly awkward and a bit sad bc they keep stepping over each other's toes accidentally the harder#they try but idk they find comfy middle ground idk in my brain they have a very interesting friendship I wanna get around to drawing it#in a proper way that might make sense....#if I don't write 200 tags I will die maybe it's bc I grew up on dA or smth#and yes I know how to find 1 (one) type of mushroom /I/ am not mushroom girl unfortunately smh
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having a normal one tonight
#something came over me#i will get them the battlefield scene once warriors way rolls around#and i'll make their opponents at some point#flight rising
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