#i'll be fine i just need a little freak out as a treat

[blastburnt]

google how to override the freeze response and not feel like frowing up

[minus-plus-zer0]

One Good Grovel

♡ Genre: Fluff (trust me), little crack ♡ Pairing: Bakugou x Reader ♡ Tags: Established relationships

You and Katsuki had your biggest fight in a while.

Both sides fought like they were out for blood. You two said things you shouldn't have, things that were hard to take back. It ended with Bakugou storming out of your shared apartment.

The moment he did, he regretted it. But he didn't know how to go back inside and say it.

Hours later after he came home from doing errands, Bakugou found you on the couch. You hadn't answered any of his texts, and Bakugou never felt so helpless before. He was already losing you fast, and he couldn't dawdle now. Bakugou dumped his groceries on the kitchen counter and then approached you. Neither of you said anything.

You still looked torn up about your earlier argument, your hair a little messy in a way that Bakugou liked. He'd prefer to be the one messing it up himself, but he knew he didn't deserve that privilege now. Bakugou threw an extra blanket over you, because you looked like you needed one.

"Yo," Bakugou said, sitting down beside you on the couch. "How've you been holding up?"

"...I don't wanna talk about it. Not with you."

Your voice was frail, quiet. It broke Bakugou's heart, knowing that he put you in this position.

He had to make it right.

"I'm sorry," Bakugou said. "For everything I said. I wouldn't be surprised if ya never wanted to talk to me ever again after this." You looked at him suspiciously. "It'd kill me if you did, but that's fine. 'Cause I value your feelings over mine. When I was out today, all I could think about was you and what I said to you. So I bought you some gifts and I really hope you'll love 'em."

Bakugou reached out to stroke your hair. "And I promise you, I'll never say that demeaning shit to you ever again. You mean more to me than winning that stupid argument, and I don't know where I'd be in my life without you by my side. I was wrong, okay? I was dead wrong for treating you like that, like anything less than the best. Most of all, I just want ya to take me back and love me. But I won't force ya to do anything. I can walk out that door again and leave you alone if you asked. And if you hate me forever... I understand."

You smiled at him. "...Okay, I hear you."

"...So do ya hate me now?"

You still smiled. "Only a whole bunch. You monster." You playfully punched him in the face.

"Sorry," Bakugou said, matching your sweet expression. "I deserved that. Punch me all ya want. Won't even stop ya."

You gave him several more feather-light punches. "You're soooo dead."

"Ya gonna call the cops on me too? Make sure I never do that shit again? Make sure I learn my lesson instead of forgiving me too easily?"

"Yes." You fluffed his hair. "They're already on their way. The conviction of a famous Pro Hero is gonna be the scandal of a century!"

Bakugou fixed his hair. "Well I'll still love ya, even while in jail."

You crossed your arms. "Only after you've served your 10-year sentence and repent through hours and hours of community service will I finally forgive you. Then you'll be free, we'll start all over, and we'll fall in love again."

"Deal," Bakugou said, kissing your forehead. "But I wanna skip to the end."

"No, that's the easy way out!"

"The hell? You're not actually gonna send me to jail for saying it was wrong to like Pepsi over Coca-Cola, are ya?"

"That's how the roleplay is going!"

"It ain't that serious! I said I was sorry babe! I'm sorry!"

You recalled what you originally fought about quite easily...

"Alright," Bakugou said. "I'm gonna head out for groceries. Any last minute changes to the shopping list?"

"Oh yes!" You rushed out to meet him in the entrance. "Could you get me some Pepsi? Pretty please?"

"What the fuck?" Bakugou looked at you like you grew two heads. "'Pepsi'? You want freaking 'Pepsi'?!"

You shrugged. "...Is that so bad? It'd be nice to have something besides Coca-Cola for once..."

Bakugou's eyes narrowed into slits. He shut the front door and approached you. "I didn't realize we had a freaking problem here. You're telling me I've been buying the wrong soda for you this entire time?!"

"Well... It's just not as good as Pepsi. It's not the same. I'm sorry... but I've always felt this way."

"Since fucking when?! When did things change?" Bakugou slapped a hand over his eyes. "What the hell did I miss?!"

Bakugou couldn't believe this. He thought he knew you better than anyone, just like how you knew him better than anyone. You two were the tightest couple ever. Bakugou had an engagement ring hidden in his dresser because he had already long since decided that what he wanted in life was you.

But now, he didn't feel like he knew you at all.

He'd still marry you though.

You remained silent. Bakugou couldn't stand it. He shook his head, then walked back to the front door, opening it. He stopped before he left, turning to you.

"Coca-Cola is better than Pepsi. That's just a fact."

Then he turned, and left. Instant regret washed over him, but he continued down to the front lobby. As Bakugou looked down upon his cursed shopping list, he couldn't in good conscious buy Coca-Cola anymore. Not when you hated it so much. He had to make things right.

He was getting Dr. Pepper instead.

"This is fucking disgusting, Katsuki," you said, halfway through your delicious can of Dr. Pepper at your dinner table.

"It was on sale, alright?!"

(I've read that a lot of people are unsatisfied with grovels in romance novels because they don't feel that the love interest apologizes well enough, so I wrote this just in case anybody needs one good quick grovel with none of the baggage attached. Btw, my favorite is Coke and it's not even close)

[jadeylovesmarvelxo]

Eddie is in the middle of his biggest campaign yet, meanwhile you're sick and while out for errands you end up running into your ex.

Slight Dom vibes from Eddie. Older Eddie x reader (Eddie is 42, reader is late twenties) protective Eddie. 18+

❤️

"The campaign is the biggest one I've planned yet and all the guys are excited for it. I'll be m.i.a for a little while so try and behave while I'm gone" you sprawl across his bed and love the way his eyes darken at the sight of your naked body.

"I guess. It's more fun when I misbehave though" you reply impishly and that makes Eddie smirk just a little bit.

Sweetheart are you going to be good for me or not?" Eddie asks patiently while you pout and settle back on the bed.

"Maybe" you shrug and Eddie shakes his head torn between adoration for you and exasperation. He leans down to kiss you, loses himself in the sensation for a moment or two.

He can't get enough of kissing you, he can't get enough of feeling your body pressed against his and watching you come undone. He can't get enough of spending time with you and being with him.

He's never felt like this before until you, just so full of love and adoration. For the first time in his life he's actually considering postponing a campaign but eventually the little nagging voice inside of his head (that sounds suspiciously like Dustin) forces him out the door.

"If you need anything then you call me, okay princess?" you nod along but he knows you would never interrupt a campaign, "I mean if baby anything at all" he's still hesitant to leave but you practically push him out the door.

"Go or we all know Dustin will be here in seconds if You're even a little bit late" he scoffs but knows you're not wrong. The little butthead would send the cavalry.

With I love yous exchanged he's then out of the door and on his way to the campaign.

❤️

You were planning to hit the bookstore in town and then heading to Family Video for a movie to watch while Eddie was gone.

His campaigns were meticulously planned out and you knew this session could last most of the afternoon and some of the night.

It was so hot to watch Eddie when he was so passionate about things he loved and you had even sat in on a campaign or two, made up a character and genuinely enjoyed playing with Eddie and his friends.

Truly it would have been nice to join him today but you had been feeling out of sorts since last night and Eddie refused to get you any more sick, he had gently ordered you to rest up as much as possible and call him on the landline the minute you felt worse.

It took long enough to even get him out of the door to even go to campaign so there was no way you were interrupting him after he had spent so much time on it, you had your movies, medicine and a new book, along with soup and hot cocoa. You would be fine.

The fresh air helped and it was always lovely to see Hawkins in the fall, the gorgeous oranges, rust and golden hues of the trees, the chill in the air and Halloween decorations dotted around the town.

Your peace ends up interrupted by a very unwelcome figure. Your ex. Alastair.

"Has the freak left you all alone today?" You ignore Alastair and walk past him. God what did you see in that asshole? It was only a couple of months but you should have seen that he was a douchebag from the start.

Thankfully you had dumped him and moved on. You had found Eddie who treated you like a queen, who adored you and loved you so much.

"I'm talking to you. Stupid bitch" Alastair snarls and he grabs your arm. The violent tug makes you lose your balance and you stumble.

"Let of me" you snap and his face turns puce but before he can do anything else someone blocks him from your view.

"Clear off dickhead" its Steve and he's glaring at Alastair whose face drains of colour.

"You know I'm glad it's that freak who has you now. At some point he will get sick of your bullshit as well" he snarls and walks away.

You're teary and just want to go home. The glow of your perfect morning with Eddie is long gone.

"You okay?" Steve asks kindly and you nod still feeling shaky. You're furious that Alastair has ruined your day and gotten under your skin again, tears of fury blur your vision and Steve softens.

"Come on. I'll walk you home"

❤️

When you head back to Eddie's trailer your head is pounding and Alastair's words play on your mind. It was no good giving that assholes opinions the time of day, the thing is he always managed to say things that got under your skin or that he knew would hurt the most.

It was hard to ignore him and even though you shake up you still refuse to call Eddie. In all honesty you were nervous to say anything about this. He was so protective of you that you worried he would actually knock Alastair out for grabbing you like that.

You didn't want Eddie in trouble so you resolved to keep quiet. Though if Alastair came near you again you were absolutely kicking him in his tiny little balls.

...

You had been strangely quiet since Eddie had arrived back home, usually you were slightly mischievous, chatty and would tell him all about your day. He told you all about the campaign and how well it had gone, you seemed genuinely excited but there was still something bugging you that Eddie couldn't figure out.

Were you still feeling sick?

"Eddie, do you get sick of me sometimes?" the question hangs in the air and Eddie gapes, what? Where the fuck was this coming from?

"Of course not sweetheart. Why would you ever think that?" You shake your head and cuddle up close to him. He held you tightly, trying to soothe away what was worrying you. What happened from this morning to now?

"No reason, I just wondered that's all" he frowns and holds you closer to him, determined to let you know how much you mean to him.

"I love you sweetheart. I could never get sick of you. Please never think like that because it will never happen" the words seem to relax you but Eddie is still suspicious about why those thoughts were even on your mind.

He's determined to find out and he doesn't have to wait very long.

❤️

Steve visits that afternoon and Eddie's worries deepen when he asks if you're okay after yesterday.

"What happened yesterday?" he knew there was something that was bothering you. He should have pressed a little bit more last night but he knew you would tell him in time. He's anxious now that it's something really bad.

It must be judging from your question last night, something had put those thoughts on your mind and now he was closer to finding out what.

Steve frowns. "Did she not tell you that dickhead of an ex was hounding her?" Eddie freezes and shakes his head.

"Shit no, she looked like she wanted to tell me something all night but kept closing up. I should have known it would be something to do with him" he closes his eyes and takes a deep breath to control his anger.

Not that he was angry at you, no way. However he was angry at your ex and his inability to leave you alone. Anytime Alastair saw you it caused him to act like a complete dick, he's pretty sure the guy must naturally be an ass or he didn't like the fact that you dumped his ass.

Either way Eddie wasn't going to let the little fucker away with hurting you. He thanks Steve for telling him and for being there for you, even though he wishes he could have been there himself.

He doubts very much your ex would have said anything when he was around and was one of those people who liked to get their targets on their own.

Once Steve leaves you arrive back home shortly after, you kiss his cheek and take your bag full of groceries into the kitchen.

Eddie follows you and wraps his arms around your waist while trailing soft kisses over your neck.

"Hey princess, Steve came over today to ask how you were after yesterday" you stiffen for a few seconds but relax when he soothes you.

"That was sweet of him. I guess he told you what happened with Alastair? I've been meaning to tell you, it's just trying to find the right words but yeah he was his usual self and he grabbed me..." You turn to him but he's extremely quiet.

You must notice the dangerous glint in his eyes because you cup his cheek and reassure him that you're fine and everything is okay.

Eddie holds you close and kisses you, he's fuming that your ex dared put his hands on you and you quietly tell him the rest of what happened and by the end of it he's pissed.

"I love you so much sweetheart, so fucking much and if that asshole bothers you again then I swear I'll knock his teeth out" he seethes and you shake your head not wanting that to happen.

"I love you Eddie and I don't want you in trouble for that asshole" you rest your head on his chest and he strokes your hair.

"Oh I won't get into shit but he might" he mutters and plans to have a word with your shitty ex. There was no way that douchebag was getting away with hurting you.

"Eddie" you warn him and sigh when you get one of his charming smiles in return.

"I promise you princess that I won't harm a hair on his head even if he deserves it" Eddie vows and you nod believing him. Whatever he had planned though would likely be something Alastair would never forget.

...

Funnily enough Alistair doesn't bother you again and when you ask Eddie about it he simply says they had a little chat.

Knowing how protective Eddie is you can just imagine how that went. It must have been something that got through to him because in the rare times you did see Alistair out and about in town, his eyes would widen and he'd rush away clutching his privates and letting out a squeal.

"Eddie what the hell did you do?" you ask torn between amusement and exasperation.

"I just told him to leave my girl alone or he'd maybe be an appendage less" he shrugs innocently. "No one tries to hurt you and gets away with it" he kisses your forehead and you stifle a smile as the two of you head back home.

❤️

[adventuringblind]

American Sweetheart

Logan Sargeant x Reader

Genre: Fluff and Crack

Summary: Max isn't sure about this new American rookie on the grid. Not that he isn't nice, just that he likes Max's baby sister. Featuring Lestappen being a married couple.

Warnings: Protective Max, sarcastically protective Daniel, Logan being a SIMP

Notes: Yay! Logan Fluff! I've not written for Logan yet, but I honestly love him... He's such a pookie...

Side Note: My requests are still open! If you've sent in a request, please remember I do this for fun and will try to get around to it when I can :)

Masterlist // Request Form // My Website // buy me a Ko-Fi

Max looks at her with big pleading eyes. "Please tell me who it is?" He pouts, sticking out his bottom lip.

"No, because you'll torture him. I'd like to keep this one alive thank you." She puts the finishing touches on her makeup.

"I left the last one alive... barely, but that's not the point!"

"So if I tell you, then you won't freak out?"

"I swear it on my career-"

"It's Logan."

Max goes silent. Frozen in place as her tries to comprehend her words. The death stare at the ground tells her he's internally screaming.

She sighs, mildly worried that Max might actually scream profanities until Logan arrives. "Alright, what's your issue with this one?"

"He's American!"

She groans. It doesn't matter much where he's from, as long as he treats her right. Logan's been struggling since he came to the grid. It would make a difference if max accepted him and not just Oscar and Lando, by proxy.

"Give him a chance, please? For me?"

Max stars at her for longer than necessary. "Fine."

~~~~~

Logan appears at her door dressed in semi-formal attire. He takes in her appearance. "You look - wow..." There is a light blush on his face. It feels nice seeing as she's in something simple and modest. Just what she had to work with given she's living out of her suitcase.

They catch up on the paddock drama and how life has been going recently. Logan is a proper gentleman the entire time. She's not sure why she thought he would be any different. Logan has always been sweet to anyone he comes in contact with.

Their date goes incredibly well.

As does the second.

And the third...

Max stares at her as she sits in his room, giggling at her phone. She has no time to react as he snatches it from her hands. "Logan?! You're still talking to him?!"

She huffs and crosses her arms. "Yes, Max, I like him."

"He's American." He tosses the phone back at her. "Just let me talk to him." Max gives her puppy eyes. "Please."

"You can talk to him whenever, but if you ruin this for me, I'll break your wrists."

Max makes it his personal mission to figure out Logan through not talking to him. She has taking to simply rolling her eyes as Max drags Daniel around with him to stare at the poor boy.

Until he catches them in the paddock together and puts on the 'Mad Max' face. Logan immediately seems to shrink in on himself.

"Okay Sargeant, it's time you and I had a little discussion about your intentions with my sister." Max hauls him upwards by his bicep and Logan goes willingly like an injured puppy.

She throws him a reassuring smile and pray to Charles Leclerc that Max doesn't scare him away.

~~~~~

Max and Daniel sit across the table from Logan. He thought asking her out would be the hardest part. No, he was mistaken, this is far worse.

The Dutch has been staring daggers at him since they sat down. Daniel keeps wiggling his eyebrows like her knows something Logan doesn't. Which - despite it seeming playful - only puts Logan more on edge than he was before.

"So, Mr. America-"

"Is that really-"

"Quiet! I'm the one doing the talking here."

Logan wants to roll his eyes. He wants to run into next year if it means avoiding this conversation. "Look Max-"

"I need to know you aren't going to americanify my sister." He points an accusatory finger between Logan's eyes.

Logan reels, and Daniel finally breaks all composure. The Aussie is laughing hysterically. "Mate, what does that even mean?!"

"Look, your American ways are not ours. I will not be seeing her calling things like American football, real football."

Logan sinks into his chair. The relief evident on his face.

He's about to jump into a spiel about how he would never expect her to just assimilate into his culture. That was never his plan. However, he's doesn't get the chance.

A figure dressed in Ferrari red comes stomping around the corner. "Max Emilian!" Charles screams out for anyone to hear.

Max shrinks in on himself. Daniel is almost falling out of his chair as Charles stomps his way over. "Why are we interrogating the poor boy?" He crosses his arms like an exasperated mother.

"Because my sister-"

"Your sister was in my room pacing and ranting that you were going to scare away another boyfriend."

Max has a look of shame on his face. Cheeks flushed red with embarrassment. "But Charlie-"

"Nope. Not gonna work. Let's go." Charles grabs Max by the bicep and drags him away. The Dutch pouts until he's out of sight.

Logan looks at Daniel, who's finally calmed down. "Are they-?"

"Married? Yes, for like two years now. They are still convinced nobody knows." Daniel leans forward in his chair, and Logan once again is left feeling intimidated. "But seriously, kid, she's a good person. Max has always been protective over his sisters because of their home life. Just treat her right, yeah? She deserves it."

Daniel sends Logan off with an encouraging pat on the shoulder. He's never run away from something so fast before. Not out of fear, no, he just needs to see her. Reassure the female that Max is less intimidating when Charles is around.

He finds her pacing outside of Williams' hospitality. Logan runs right up to her, picks her up in his arms, and spins her around.

"I take it Max was nice to you?"

"Your brother is an interesting character, but nothing would stop me from loving you."

She blushes profusely. "You love me?"

Logan rests his forhead against hers. He can't wipe the smile off his face when he looks at her. "Of course I do! And nobody is going to stop me from feeling the way I do."

She hastily lands her lips onto Logan's , not caring about who's around to see. It's just them in their own little world.

She pulls away just enough to whisper against his lips. "I love you too, Lo."

Logan has never been happier than in this moment with her in his arms and Max screeching in the distance.

[hobvitr]

pavitr prabhakar x reader

gn! reader.

genre/warnings: fluff, angst if you squint, stabilized relationship, reader has anxiety, mention of wounds, blood, just a lil blurb

sinopses: you discover you boyfriend is spiderman, but just because he has nowhere to go to treat his wounds.

what else to do on a tuesday night instead of sketch some stuff and finish your homework, right? your boyfriend occupied for god knows how long due to his "grown up" responsibilities who you wouldn't even question too much, knowing he as well might have his privacy and you trust him blindly.

you draw stern lines with your pencil above the paper, headphones on and you hum along some of your favorite songs. a light thud catches your attention, looking up from the paper to look at your right... nothing. then your left..

"what the- WHAT THE FUCK?" your voice comes out first at a normal volume, then coming more like a whisper-yell as you look at pavitr entering your room through your window. but the problem is, you live in a building at the sixth floor, and he's using a spiderman suit.

"hey babe" he starts with a slight smile, holding his mask in one hand and the other pressing firmly at his side, blood coming out of the wound. "I'm sorry to bother you-"

"pav you're bleeding, what happened?!" you frown, worried sick as you come closer to him to help him hold the wound, not even processing he's literally Spiderman. you scold him to sit on your bed, a hiss coming out of his lips. "wait here, I'm getting a aid kit"

you don't even wait for his response, running to the bathroom and getting everything that you needed. as you got back into your room, you could hear your heartbeat fastening with worry, breath hitching and fingers trembling holding the gauze as you kneel in front of him.

pavitr could read your body language and even sense the unhealthy amount of anxiety you were experiencing right now. "hey- hey, look at me" he placed his unbloodied hand on your cheek, making you look at his face. "it's okay, i'm okay... it'll be fine" his voice coming out soothing and making you stead your breath. "thank you for helping me, hot stuff" the nickname made you let out a brief laugh, being able to concentrate on doing the best bandage you could.

the second you were done with the bandage, you clean the other small cuts he had on his face and arms. you let out a sigh once you're done with the cleaning, looking at his eyes now. "I can't believe you addressed being spiderman as 'grown up responsibilities', really" you said casually, not yet being able to assimilate who your boyfriend was.

"it was the best i could come up with" he said with a chuckle, patting his side at the bed so you could sit up with him instead of kneeling on the ground. "you do sound a bit unimpressed" he leans back a little, his hands back on the bed for support.

"sorry, didn't have the time to freak out about you being a hero, was kinda busy with you dying from bleeding out" you said in a teasing manner, now analysing him in his suit. "that explains so much, actually... that's why i always found spiderman so attractive" you kept teasing him, now with a grin.

"so you have a crush on spiderman and didn't tell me?!" pav said faking offense laying his hand on his chest after a laugh burst out of him, arms coming to hold both your sides in a warm hug. you hug him back, careful with his wounds. "you know i'm gonna worry about you like, three times more, right?" you say, head buried on his neck, taking in his fresh scent.

"i know, but now i'll be three times more careful to come back unharmed to you" you could feel him smiling against your head. he leaned slightly back, making you look at his eyes, which was looking directly at your lips. you let out a small chuckle and kissed him slowly and softly, making him smile in the process.

as you remember you actually need to breathe, you reluctantly pull off, making pav whine jokingly. "nooo, i need more kisses from my sunshine to get better faster" you giggle, mumbling a 'good point' against his lips and taking his request, cuddling with him for the rest of the night.

[thesamoanqueen]

Owner

Raiting: 18+

Warnings: smut, jealousy, my bad english as always.

A/N: It should have been my gift to @harmshake for her day but I didn’t made it in time and here Im, posting it anyway *delusional smile*

He was getting a headache, a bad one because Y/N was unbeatable at driving him crazy. He always tried to control himself, freaking out during arguments didn’t fit him well and he could successfully have done it, at least until she got involved or decided to press that button, the one she had claimed from the first second Roman laid eyes on her. Thank God she wasn't the kind of woman who liked drama or kicking her feet, but if she decided to go down that road...

Roman could count their arguments on one hand, exceptions, extraordinary events, but every time it happened from one moment to the next, escalating in a few seconds and for reasons that weren't even real reasons. And it had been like that that time too. The night before Y/N had gone out with the girls, they had gone to have fun, there was nothing wrong and he had even been fine with it, because now that his schedule was no longer so oppressive they spent more time together, both didn't have to work hard as before. The next morning she got up and he had left himself speak, a comment about alcohol that she had clearly drunk, not about her, not even trying to scold her, but from there to chaos it was a short step.

Standing in the kitchen for who knows how long, he lowered his head in exasperation, exhausted, the idea of getting something to drink to go and relax, perhaps with her now only a memory, while Y/N marched through the living room, taking random stuff and dissecting that story as only she was capable of doing.

- I can do whatever I wanna do ‘cause you my daddy when I say you're, not every moment of ma life – she crashed into him at the other end of the huge room and Roman raised his head as if someone had slapped him.

She could do what? He wasn't what?!

- What did you just say?! – he snapped, not at all intending to let that time pass.

He had never tried to stop her from doing anything, he knew well who he had decided to be close to as a partner and it had never crossed his mind to treat her otherwise. He had made a comment, a comment because he cared about her, he was always worried, even if they were together and she came up with that story? He was a man, he didn't need to control her to feed his little ego.

- Thought it was me tired, but now the one who cannot hear me is you? - she insisted stubbornly, refusing to let go and Roman gave her a warning look, his gaze dark.

- Y/N stop running that mouth

- Well if you don't like my attitude anymore, go find someone else and I'll do the same – she pointed at him and Roman knew that she was throwing everything on the table by now, but she had to slow down because he had enough now.

He wouldn't have gone anywhere, above all she wouldn't have found anyone else. She could put it out of her head to play those games with him and above all to turn around and leave him there as she was trying to do. He quickly crossed the living room, before Y/N could even disappear and grabbed her by the waist, hearing her let go with a thud all the stuff she had in her arms, struggling.

- What-Get your hands off me, lemme go-

- You better calm down- don't kick! - he warned her, taking blow with a grimace as he dragged her with him across the room - don't… no… babygirl-

- Roman put me down, ain't joking! And don't call me that! – she struck again, convincing him to put her down on the coach, to grit his teeth, irritation growing.

- No more babygirl, ain't your daddy, you can do whatever, what's going on huh?!

Frozen, Y/N stared back at him. Her arms wrapped tightly around her chest, legs curled up on the couch where she still had tried to escape him at first, even though he was literally towering over her. He had raised his voice, he never did it, except when they got to that point, but every time it happened he ended up regretting it the same instant just by looking at her. He couldn't stand those moments, because they didn't belong to either of them and for sure wasn't what he wanted for their relationship.

- You don't own me – Y/N said, refusing to lower her head and Roman ran a hand over his dark beard, inspiring, before looking back at her deadly serious.

- I own you

He knew what was going on in that head of her, because Y/N thought and thought even late at night when she should have been sleeping, she was dangerous. And that argument had been the reason she had struggled to have relationships in the past, the same one that had led them to chase each other for a year before giving a name to what was between them. It had been a stupid comment, said with a completely different intention, they both knew it, and yet she had snap.

-I do – he repeated, seeing her physically stiffen when he crouched down in front of her – as you own me – he admitted without shame.

He knew what he wanted from his life and he knew what he was willing to risk, he had never been the kind of person who liked to be led, but since she had entered his life, his vision had changed. It was like this from the moment he woke up to the moment he went to bed, it was his law, it was what he chose and what Roman committed to. He wasn't a kid, he could make sacrifices and he wanted to bear them.

-That's how things work – he explained, eyes running over her figure without forgetting a single piece, while hers studied him.

They were doing this together and there was no "whatever" for it to work. They had each other's backs, they belonged to each other and there was no one else who could replace either of them in that mission. No plan B, no alternatives, it was all or nothing, she was the one who told him first and Roman stuck to that. He could keep his mouth shut, ignore if he wanted, he had no problems, but what they were had to be clear, for better or for worse, during arguments or not.

Y/N insisted on not moving, legs still bent on the coach, shoulders still tense and her gaze fixed on him who hadn't moved an inch too, ready to take yet another blow that never came. She only needed a few words, if the right ones, to send those moments away and Roman knew he had said them to her or she wouldn't have given up. An arrogant and slightly softened grin was struggling to show itself, but he just frowned, tilting his head a little to look at her inch by inch again.

-May I touch you now? – he asked, his voice now low, soft.

- What if I say no? – he heard her ask immediately, stubborn and without mercy.

Firm in his purpose, Roman did not give up, completely unimpressed by that attitude which had single-handedly eliminated any competition long before him.

- Please – he begged hoarsely and Y/N once again didn't move.

She didn't even answer, but her dark chocolate eyes did it for her, wavering for a moment at that plea and he reached out with both hands, slowly pulling her legs off the couch by ankles. He slid one on the carpet, placing the other on top of his knees, caressing the caramel-colored skin, soft calf, her eyes pointing at him in religious silence as he went up higher, touching behind the knee to spread his hand on her gorgeous soft thigh. He felt her body vibrate imperceptibly, responding to that contact and Y/N immediately push her foot against his chest, stopping him from going any further.

-Babygirl...- he called her back, looking up again.

Still no response and Roman took the opportunity to slide her leg over his shoulder, making his way between her. His hands began to caress her again without waiting any longer, going up, taking the opportunity to take care of the other leg in the same way and in the same way, even with the other, Y/N stopped him. Roman looked at her in silence this time, he placed a kiss on her skin, pinching it with his beard, breathing in the scent of coconut and vanilla lotion, receiving a new push in return. He waited a second, just one, to collect himself, before also pulling the other leg over his shoulders and bending her on the couch, without asking or negotiate anymore, crashing his mouth onto her to get a moan.

Y/N under him struggled, trying to push him away, refusing to let him win that fight as useless as the argument they had was. He stopped her from the wrists, bracing them with a little force against the couch backrest, pressing them with some of his weight, heat rising quickly and her complaints, muffled, slowly turning into hot moans. Roman knew that she was ready to not make his life easy and repay him in some way, but he was fine with that.

He liked challenges and if she was the prize, he could take more than a couple of pushes.

Slow and unstoppable, he made his way over her. Feeling her mouth slowly indulge him, her hands stop shaking and her legs squeeze him to have his body closer, to have him where he belonged. He still refused to let go, keeping her pinned beneath him, sliding only one large hand, first around her throat and then further down, under her oversize shirt, over her breast free from any constriction. His thumb automatically went to play with her nipple and Y/N mewled into his mouth, panting hotly when Roman finally abandoned her to move down, licking her ear and jugular before biting and sucking that soft skin with the only purpose to leave his mark.

- Mmh! – a moan, strangled, still a little freaky, teeth closing on her swollen lip to stop it.

Annoyed, he looked up at her, studying her focused, breathless, cute expression. He pushed a little on her wrists, feeling her body soften and pulled her white shirt up a little more, to go down to kiss her between her round breasts, inhaling her scent, dipping his face there to devour her hungrily. Her shivers, her heartbeat dangerously close, even the sound of her swallowing while trying to catch her breath, had quickly turned that exchange into something more and bossy Roman rubbed himself against her, his cock now hard inside his gray jumpsuit. He watched Y/N bite her lip again, try to hold back, belly tense and eyes finally searching for him as he began to suck and bite on one of her dark salty buttons.

Her back always curved into a delightful arch when he paid her that kind of attention. An almost unnatural, desperate and needy arch, which Roman get never tired of holding in his hands and admiring, often asking for more, demanding everything.

He watched her throw her head back, almost hiding between cushions and his arm slid behind her back, pulling her against him, grabbing her hip so her center was in place. Y/N struggled again, breathing short, her gaze liquid with excitement and Roman tightened his grip on her wrists, freeing her breasts shiny from his saliva and quickly place a kiss on both her legs that were resting onto his shoulders. Quickly, he fumbled with his clothes, pulling them down with his only free hand, immediately feeling his erection jump to attention and Y/N gasp in anticipation.

- What do you say sweetheart huh? – he asked hoarsely, pressing it against her perfect ass, while also freeing her too – do you want me to ask nicely or not?

-Lemme-e go- he heard her repeat, but this time he knew that her intention was not to run away.

- Please babygirl? – he chanted into her ear, almost crushing her beneath him.

- Please… daddy – a meow more like a moan and Roman released his grip on her wrists.

Her hands grabbed his face instantly, forcing him into a kiss he would never refuse and then wrapping around his torso, scratching his solid neck with demand, as he thrust into her without waiting any longer. Her folds were soft, welcoming and every single time he ended up searching for the bottom, that exact point that made her tighten around him in a vice from which Roman always hoped not to escape. His body was shot through with every sigh of Y/N, every single moan and prey to an uncontrolled reaction his hips moved reflexively, thrusting and pinning her down.

They hadn't fucked like this for a long time now, since they were nothing and their encounters seemed more like a desperate attempt to leave their mark on each other so that no one else could get in the way or hope to. Now those thoughts, those doubts were far away, but Roman still felt in the bottom of his chest the urge to claim her, to give her everything and because of that, he took advantage of his strength to turn her onto her side, leaving one of her legs down. From that position he could push at another angle, holding her round buttock, straightening his back.

- Like tha-aht, yes-

-Yeah, let's strech my pussy good…-he growled hungrily, giving her an appreciative slap on the ass and the moan that Y/N let out was accompanied by her throbbing walls.

- There-yes there!

Quick, rough, he knew that neither of them would last long, but he put a hand on her belly anyway, touching his bulge, hitting that spot and observing, satisfied, the whitish ring that had already formed around his cock. He saw it spread across his entire length, back and forth, again, while Y/N tried to hold him between her folds, inside her sweet cave. He licked his lips, savoring her moods from a distance, pressing with his fingers where her mound welcomed him, feeling his own hardness, his thumb sliding further down to play with her swollen button.

A couple of thrusts and Y/N exploded beneath him in a succession of gasps, hands gripping the coach cover, eyes closed tightly and that wonderful arc that Roman moved again, to take her from behind, pushing himself onto his knees to have her into a press. Frantic, he let his head loll, pounding frenetic through his orgasm, refusing to give in until Y/N slapped her hand against one of his arms and he pulled out quickly, missing her warmth instantly.

A growl left him, but just as he had felt that unpleasant absence, he welcomed Y/N who had sat up to take him into her soft mouth, licking both of their juices with a moan of appreciation. With one arm resting on the coach backrest and the other hand holding the back of her head, he watched Y/N wrap her lips around the tip, suck until she tore the soul out of his lungs and then swallow him almost in his entire length to allow him to empty himself inside her.

- F-Fuck, open wide, so warr-rm-

He held her in place, moving on impulse, feeling the heat of his own body mix in Y/N's throat, her tongue pampering him until the last drop dirtied her mouth and his long fingers extricated themselves from the curls that he had pulled away from Y/N’s bun, stroking it affectionately, feeling the pop of that dangerous mouth that released him after having swallowed and cleaned up the mess of both of them. Breathing heavily he let himself fall down, pulling her against him as messy as he was, realizing only after long, infinite minutes of silence that at the end they had both managed to relax there together even if how, they had gotten to that point, had not been what he imagined.

He tilted his head, seeing her clinging to him with that tired look that he was responsible for this time and he couldn't help himself, leaving a kiss on her forehead that made her lift her chin to look up.

- We made it again – he noticed, seeing that adorable pout that she reserved only for him.

She who would have eaten alive anyone out there without a second thought, with him instead every now and then she gave into the temptation to behave like a little one and as long as it was her, Roman could handle anything. She owned that right and privilege.

Tag squad: @sunnyfleur23 @racerchix21 @alyyaanna @angelreigns444 @romanreignsdefencesquad @romanstheory @claymorexpunisher @keybladeofsteel @msbigredmachine @nayys-world @gobbersworld @utika151209 @cumxxslutt @civildawn @romanmydaddy @triscillal @papireigns-05 @helensanders92 @darqchilddaydreamz @meggylynnloves @unfriendly--blvck--hottie @nicolewoo @reignsx @reigns-central-blog @kianaleani @daguenoire @extra-11 @thedonsfactory @snowpanda18 @brattyfics @mzv11 @romanreignseater @tribalchiefdaily @2baddies2furious @vebner37 @depressedneedingrevenge @cyberdejos2 @usosthetics @mahi-wayy @jxtina-86 @harmshake @harlem11680 @southerngirl41 @spritelucozade

[xxgoblin-dumplingxx]

Logan and his Sugarbaby? Just that grumpy fuck being domesticated

Sunday. Rain drops fell against the windowpanes.

And Logan clenched a cigar between his teeth as he graded papers and listened to the rapid flutter of your keys on your laptop. He'd rather be fucking you.

But.

He told you you couldn't move from that spot until you finished your homework. And he meant it. You were too smart to just be a brainless little fucktoy, even if treating you like one when he was stressed out did wonders for his blood pressure.

The typing stopped and your brow furrowed. He can see you reading back what you just wrote, chewing on your lip. Second guessing yourself for what feels like the 100th time in 20 minutes and he sets down his pen, "Give it here, bub," he ordered.

"It's not-"

He quirked an eye brow and held out his hand with a soft growl, leaving you no room to argue. And you hand it to him reluctantly, pressing your lips together as he scrolled back to the top of you paper and scanned it. Ignoring the fact that you're squirming and trying not to fidget. It was good. Really good, in fact. It flowed together and made sense. Sure, it needed a little bit of polish but it wasn't like some of the garbage he'd seen pass as academic writing before. "Princess," he said smiling a little, "you're doin' fine. Breathe."

"Ugh, I hate this fucking class."

"I know," he said, "You've been whining about it all month. Just pass and you never have to do it again."

"I just know I'll turn this in and he'll find 40 things wrong with it," you murmur.

"But there's nothing wrong with it," he said, eyes narrowing. You were a smart kid. You could hold your own. It's how you GOT this far on your own- why he kept you around. He was too old for someone who needed constant hand holding. "What'd he say to you?" Logan growled.

You'd been 'off' all week. Not his girl. Distracted. He thought it was just school but something was eating at you.

"It's not a big deal," you answer, taking the laptop back and exhaling slowly. "Like you said I just have to-"

"Y/N," he said dangerously, "what did he say to you? Last week? When you went to office hours?"

You take a deep breath and flex your hands, "That if I didn't spend so much time whoring my self out to freaks I wouldn't have so much trouble understanding the class." You cringe away from the words, your whole face folding in disgust. "I didn't want to tell you because I didn't want-"

"You didn't want to hurt me," he finished, keeping his tone careful. He was furious. But. Not at you. As he looked at you trying not to cry, afraid to look at him as you nodded, it was all he could do to keep the claws sheathed. His girl. His Princess was trying to protect him and that wasn't her job. And hell if he was going to let some scum bag tank her career just because he didn't like that she was getting laid and a little spending money for her aggravation.

[penkura]

last forever [2/13]

Summary: Zoro only offered to marry you to keep you out of an arranged marriage with a man much older than you. You agreed with the caveat of ending it via annulment once you received word from your parents regarding the original engagement, despite your growing feelings for your close friend.

Pairing: Zoro x Fem!reader, mentioned Sanami later (like epilogue later so chill)

Warnings: Marriage of Convenience, Fake Marriage, referenced sex (waaaaaay later on), mutual pining, Zoro is bad at feelings but what's new there, eventual romance I promise, mention of past attempted assault (I'll warn in that chapter), creepy older dude later on

Note: Why yes I did write this after watching OPLA, why do you ask?

[Ch. 1]

Of course, it just had to be a crazy clown that was your next opponent. You didn't fear clowns but you didn't like them terribly much either, so being up against Buggy the Clown and his crew of pirates was making this day worse for you.

First, Luffy had been snatched away by a freaking bird that he tried to catch and turn into food (how he expected to cook it, you had no idea). You and Zoro quickly followed after, not even stopping to properly pick up the men you found in the middle of the ocean who were calling for help. Even when they tried to rob you, the glares the two of you gave and the slight beating from Zoro, once they realized who he was, the three men you picked up took over the rowing and brought you to Orange Town.

Once you found him, Luffy had already been thrown into a cage by Buggy, Zoro making an attempt to dice the clown who only proved he was perfectly fine afterwards, stabbing Zoro instead.After practically jumping from the rooftop with him still in the cage, the girl gave the key up, before it was swallowed by a little dog. The mayor of the town appeared before you next and you asked for a place to treat Zoro's stab wound and where he could rest, Mayor Boodle taking you all to his house.

"I don't need you to treat it, I'll sleep it off."

Zoro nearly flinched at the glare you set on him, making him take his shirt off so you could see the wound better.

"Sleep it off, what a load of crock," Shaking your head, you threaded a needle and sterilized it with a match, "You know that's not how you heal from stab wounds, dummy."

As you started stitching the wound, Zoro watched you closely like he always did. You'd done this so many times at this point, having been terrified of giving him stitches at first, until the worst wound you'd seen him get. He wasn't anywhere near close to bleeding out from it, but after an hour of it still bleeding, you forced him back onto the hotel bed and started stitching him up, pushing away your fears and the tears that you felt welling up as you did so. When you had finished, Zoro was impressed and thanked you, making you smile before you burst into tears over the whole thing.

"What are you crying for?!"

"I…I've never…done that before!"

He'd never have guessed you hadn't done stitches before, but your work never tore, he took it upon himself to remove them when you said it was safe to do. He didn't want you to start crying again.

After that you stitched up any severe wounds he had, just as you were doing at that moment.

"Okay," you cut the thread and finally nodded once you were done, "Now you can sleep. Don't do anything to tear the stitches though."

"Fine."

You put your items away while Zoro laid down, telling him you were going to see if you could help get Luffy out of the cage and ask about this other girl if she was joining you all or not. Before you left, you gave him another glare.

"You better stay still and sleep."

"I will, trust me on that."

Satisfied, you finally left and Zoro smiled to himself before falling asleep.

Not so bad having her as a wife.

+!+

Your hope that you'd all get out of Orange Town without a fight was gone as you stood in front of Cabaji with your own sword drawn. You had told (yelled at) Zoro to go back to resting instead of bothering to fight this acrobat, turning it into an argument between the two of you.

Zoro believed he was completely fine and could fight, despite you noticing the small winces of pain every now and then. Still though, he wouldn't listen to you and attempted several times to move you out of the way so he could fight.

It angered you more than anything, and you finally turned around and glared at him, Zoro more so thinking it was almost cute rather than scary like you thought it'd be.

"Gosh, why the hell are you such a stubborn man?!"

"Says the equally stubborn woman!"

Luffy watched the two of you, amused at how you acted like you really were a married couple despite you saying it wasn't a real marriage. He was starting to not believe you.

Zoro, on the other hand, was getting more frustrated with you as you placed yourself between him and Cabaji, who watched you two in annoyance at the fact neither of you were fighting him, but were fighting each other.

Get a room geez.

"I don't need you fighting battles for me!"

"You're still injured, you oaf!" You screeched back at Zoro, not stopping an attack from the annoyed Cabaji in time. He threw a kick into your side, sending you towards a building. You only stopped and didn't fly right into the building thanks to Zoro moving quickly enough to stop you, grabbing you around the waist to keep you from hitting anything but him.

"You all right?" He was quiet, but the look on his face told you he was angry. At you or Cabaji, you weren't sure, but you nodded. You'd always felt his bandana made him look scarier when he was in battle, but the way he looked at you this time, despite the anger, was more like he was worried about you, maybe. Zoro would probably never admit such a thing to you if you asked.

You were in pain, hissing a slight bit when Zoro set you down. You figured it was just going to be some bruising, nothing to worry about, even though it hurt at that moment.

Zoro made sure you were safe, before standing back up and setting the harshest glare you'd seen from him yet on Cabaji.

"Don't you dare touch my wife again."

Never had you felt like someone was fighting for you or your honor before then. The fact Zoro willingly called you his wife, that stuck in your head on repeat while you watched him fight and defeat Cabaji, moving past your own pain to hurry over and protect him as he fell asleep again. Of course he'd claim he was healing no problem that was, but you still wanted him to be safe while Luffy defeated Buggy.

Luckily Luffy carried him off to your ship as the townspeople chased you off for a misunderstanding, and you could breathe easily to know you all were safe, the orange haired girl named Nami joining you temporarily.

After you checked Zoro's stitches and for any other wounds, you were surprised by Nami offering you to sit with her in the boat she'd stolen, so you didn't have to be alone with two boys. You took her up on it, and she pulled you close to whisper.

"Hey…Zoro called you his wife…is he legit?"

Your face turned bright red, having already forgotten that because of your quick escape from the town. He really had then, it wasn't just you hearing things.

Was that progress? Would things slowly change and develop for the two of you, could you live as a married pirate couple one day? Have kids even?

Were you getting ahead of yourself? Definitely, considering he'd only said it once and likely wasn't thinking, your assumption due to the possible pain he was still in, even though he would deny it instantly if you even started to ask.

"Umm, hello," Nami snapped her fingers in front of your face, making you shake your head and ask her to repeat what she said, "I asked if Zoro was being honest when he said you were his wife."

You blinked a few times, before finally smiling slightly. "Well…technically, yes, he's being honest."

Nami didn't let you go back to the boys the rest of your ride to the next island, demanding every detail despite you only knowing each other for a few hours.

It looked like you had a new best friend.

+!+

The events in Syrup Village led to your recruitment of a new member, Usopp, and being given the Going Merry as your first, real ship as a crew. You and Nami spent time learning how the ship worked, Usopp eventually joining you and telling stories that you may have known right off the bat weren't entirely truthful. You did enjoy them though, laughing through them during dinner that night alongside Luffy.

"Soooo," leaning over, you gave Usopp a grin, "Kaya huh? That was a nice little kiss there."

Nami burst into a laugh at how wide Usopp's eyes got, before he started stammering and trying to say something, you grinning even more and asking him what it was like to get a kiss.

"Never had one before so I wouldn't know."

"I…it…nice…it was nice…"

You and Nami started doting on Usopp over it, telling him how he could always write to Kaya and keep in touch that way. The romance talk flew over Luffy's head but he still talked about how nice Kaya was and how tough Kuro had been, while Zoro got more annoyed as it went on, eventually leaving the table after he finished his drink and stepping outside, which you did notice right away.

Downing the last of your own bit of wine, you excused yourself from your friends, heading to the deck and finding Zoro there, leaned against the railing with his eyes closed. Normally you'd assume he was sleeping, but since it'd only been about a minute and you knew he didn't sleep standing up (wouldn't have surprised you though), you knew he was still awake and would talk to you.

"Hey," you joined Zoro against the rail, making him look at you and nod slightly while you tilted your head, "What'd you leave for?"

"Tired."

"Why aren't you in bed then?"

"Who can sleep with all the laughing?"

"Oh please, you almost slept through a tornado once."

"Shut up."

You rolled your eyes but smiled, deciding to look out at sea and watch the waves that gently rocked the ship. You'd anchored for the night in the middle of the sea, Nami placing you on the first watch of the night since you said you weren't tired while most everyone else was. You didn't mind, it'd give you some alone time to watch the stars and think, to enjoy being by yourself as you so rarely got to do lately.

"Have you heard from your parents?"

Zoro's question made you shake your head, him sighing once you did. You'd not gotten a single letter from them, your carrier bird only bringing newspapers from home so you could keep up on how things were going that didn't involve your arranged marriage.

You wondered if they even got your first letter at all at this point.

"Not a thing…only newspapers from home.

"Mm."

"They've still got my picture in it as if I've been kidnapped."

"Maybe they didn't get your letter and the papers."

You shrugged, biting your lip. You wanted to say something about it, tell him you didn't want to do the annulment even if your parents wrote back that the arranged marriage was over, that they accepted your current marriage. You'd rather stay married to him, try a relationship before signing any papers, but you also knew that saying anything like that would likely cause Zoro to shut you out, or tell you how he didn't want to be in a relationship, he didn't want to be married whether he knew of your feelings or not.

He'd probably never return your feelings and you'd have wasted your time instead of just doing the annulment, or divorce if your six months passed without a letter.

But, maybe, you could just tell him how you felt right then, see what his thoughts were and go from there.

Maybe.

"Zoro, I–"

"I'm going to bed. Just let me know when you hear anything."

"O-Oh, yeah…sure."

Once he left, you sighed and sunk to the ground, wishing you hadn't been such a coward at the moment and asked him to stay so you could actually talk to Zoro about the situation between the two of you. Granted yes, things had moved quickly since you joined Luffy, but still. There were a few times you should have sat down and talked, but every time you wanted to, Zoro was doing something or sleeping. At this rate you figured you'd never get things settled with him.

"Hey, you good?" Usopp popped up beside you, throwing an arm around your shoulders while you just nodded, not saying a word. He didn't fully believe you, taking note of the slight sadness on your face, before he smiled. "Have I told you about the giant sea monster that attacked my village?"

"Don't think so."

"Oh it was a huge beast! At least forty, no fifty feet!"

The rest of your night was spent laughing at more of Usopp's stories on the deck, enjoying yourself and forgetting your worries for the time being.

Zoro had, however, turned back to go talk to you about your sham marriage before he went to bed. The two of you never properly spoke about it after leaving the town you'd married in, but he was sure that you had feelings for him from the way you acted at times. Overly concerned with his well being, you forcing him to rest in Orange Town, the glances you'd take every now and then too. Everything pointed to you having developed feelings for him, and Zoro didn't want that right now.

He didn't want distractions from his goals and didn't want you distracted from yours. He had to put a stop to your feelings then and there, even if all it ended up being was a pause on your end.

He didn't expect, though, for you to be laughing with Usopp when he made it back to the deck, choosing to watch you for a moment. You smiled and laughed again, shoving Usopp on the arm while he grinned and made a large gesture with his hands, likely an exaggeration in whatever story he was telling you. Zoro didn't know why he had such a tight feeling in his chest seeing this, but it was enough for him after a few minutes of neither of you noticing him. He turned around and returned to his hammock, trying to ignore the annoyance he felt when Usopp and Luffy came into the room, Usopp mentioning how fun you were to talk to.

I'm not jealous. Not at all.

[oneforthemunny]

certified lover boy |modern!eddie munson x reader|

prompt: max tells eddie he's a simp for you, and maybe he is. no, he most definitely is.

contains: language, mentions of drugs, modern!eddie and reader, mentions to mature themes 18+

"Baby, you just tell me what you want, and I'll pick it up, alright?" Eddie cooed into the screen of his phone, eyes flicking from you back to the road. One hand gripped the iPhone, the other held the wheel of the mustang, cruising down the backroads of Hawkins.

Max snarled her nose in disgust, eyes cutting over to Eddie. "Ok. I think I want pizza. Do you want me to order it and get it delivered?" Your voice carried through the car's speakers, the shuffling of whatever task you were doing in the background.

"If that's what you want to do." Eddie replied sweetly. "Or we can go out."

"I don't think I want to go out." You sighed. "I'll order it. I think I just want pizza and maybe to smoke a teeny tiny blunt. Is that ok?"

Eddie snorted. "That's fine with me. I have some papers with me."

"Will you roll it for me?" You asked sweetly. The sweetest Max had ever heard you speak. She wondered if you knew she was in the car.

"I always do, baby." Eddie purred lowly back at you, giving you a dazzling, dimpled smile. Max gagged silently, dramatically over Eddie's shoulder but he ignored her. "I gotta drop Red off, and then I'll be over."

"Ok," You hummed. "You want your usual?"

"Please?" Eddie grinned. "I'll Venmo you for it."

"I got it, Ed." You snorted lightly. "My treat. You just bring the weed."

Eddie rolled his eyes playfully. "Ok, I'll see you soon. Bye, baby."

"Bye." You chirped.

Eddie's eyes flicked towards the screen. "Love you." He added.

You smiled through the screen. "Love you." You replied before the call ended.

Eddie pocketed his phone, Max's face disgusted, nose twisted up in repulsion. "You're down bad, Munson." She scoffed, shaking her head.

Eddie rolled his eyes. "What?" He shrugged, she gave him a pointed look. "Oh, I'm down bad because I'm in love?"

"Ew!"

"What?" Eddie threw his hand out.

Max shook her head. "You're just... I don't know, it's gross." She shuddered. "You're all simpy for her."

"Simpy?" Eddie gawked.

"Yeah, you're a total fucking simp. It's gross." Max laughed.

Eddie rolled his eyes. "Whatever. I am not a simp." He grumbled, defensive and a little huffy. He felt his phone ding in the center console, your name popping up followed by a string of emojis.

Max gave him a pointed look. "Really?" She asked sarcastically. "Really you're not?"

"Shut up." Eddie huffed, turning his phone over so she couldn't see the screen anymore. "Y'know, make fun of me all you want, but one day you're gonna be in love too-"

"-Oh, God, Eddie, please stop. 'M gonna be sick-"

"-I see the way you look at Sinclair. You think he won't make a move on you one day and you won't be the same way?" Eddie challenged.

Max blushed deep, the red on her cheeks nearly matching her hair. "Shut up. Me and Lucas are just friends you freak." She huffed.

Eddie snorted. "Right." He looked over at her playfully.

Max's eyes narrowed at him, blistering glare that Eddie just rolled his eyes at, he was used to it. "Whatever," She huffed, when Eddie pulled into the gravel drive of her trailer. "I'll never be a simp like you Munson." She declared smugly, reaching for the door handle.

"Right, you keep telling yourself that." Eddie snorted. "You just worry about selling that shit, you got me? We gotta settle up with Rick this Saturday."

"I got it." Max rolled her eyes, patting her backpack full of weed. "I'll have it sold by tomorrow. Going to a party tomorrow."

Eddie nodded. "You need a ride?"

"No," Max blushed, pausing for a moment. "Lucas is taking me."

Eddie barked out a laugh, clapping his hands together. "Oh really? Lover boy's gonna take you?"

Max huffed. "Shut up. We're just friends." She slammed the door to his Mustang. Eddie rolled down the window. "You go enjoy your pizza."

"Oh, I will." Eddie grinned, pushing the gear stick back.

"You're getting weak in the knees, Munson!" Max called from the steps. "Stand up, you fuckin' simp!"

Eddie laughed, shaking his head before pulling out of the driveway. If only she knew, Eddie grinned to himself, looking down at his phone. His heart rate picked up at your little message, 'on it's way. see you soon drive safe :)' so minimal- it had no business making his head spin the way it did, foot pressing further on the gas.

Probably for the best Max didn't know how in deep he was with you, she'd tease him relentlessly if she did. But how could he not be? You were perfect, Eddie was sure of it.

The way you always smiled so wide when you saw him, even when you had a bad day, your eyes lit up, grin crinkling up to your eyes. You’d hug him tight, muttering a quiet, “Hi, baby,” that always left him floating.

He’d bury his face in your neck, inhaling your scent deep. Your skin, your perfume- fuck, you smelled so good, intoxicating to him. He’d secretly spray your perfume, the pink, slender bottle on your nightstand, all over his clothes before he’d leave, pressing his nose to his collar when he wanted a whiff of you. Carrying you with him through the sweet scent of your perfume.

Or the way you’d hold his hand when you two would walk through the mall, lazily bumping hips while he carried the bags- he always insisted on carrying the bags. You’d drag him into Sephora or Aerie, and he’d just stand there with the basket, letting you pile it up and not complaining once.

He loved it the most when you’d go try things on. When he got to see you come out, spinning around and examining your body in the clothes. He had an excuse to gawk at you openly. You’d get frustrated when he’d tell you that you should get everything you tried on, that you looked good in anything you tried on.

He like it when you’d stop and smell candles, holding the open jar out towards him, giggling when he’d wrinkle his nose in displeasure at the scent. “No?” You’d raise your brows playfully, he’d shake his head.

He‘d get positively smitten when you’d sit at the Hideout with him, recording and snapping pictures on your phone of him and the boys to post later. Filming TikToks and hoping they’d go viral. One did, once, they’d gained some traction off of it and he was so thankful for you. Smiling proudly when you reported the video’s growth, and it spreading even wider across your face when the boys cheered you on for it.

He loved how funny you were, even when you didn’t mean to be. Pulling faces that left him shaking with laughter, or snarky comments that he couldn’t help but grin at. You were mean when you wanted to be, a little hedgehog with a prickly exterior and a soft underbelly. You were protective of him, he knew that. Saw it when you’d snap and sneer at the waitress who got too flirty, eyes daggers that scared her off. Just as venomous, if not worse, when some guy flirted with you at a party. Sending him retreating with his tail tucked between his legs, your hand on Eddie’s leg or wrapped around him, touching him somehow to show your claim. You usually would kiss him deep, trailing down his neck and sucking a deep bruise into the porcelain skin of his neck. It was more PDA than you usually would give, but with him, you didn’t care- it drove him wild in the best way.

He was glad Max or anyone else wasn’t around to see how soft he got around you. Especially in the intimacy of your relationship, when the two of you were alone. He’d lay on top of you, head in your chest, smothering himself into your breasts while you played with his hair. Twisting and twirling the ringlets around your finger, pressing kisses to his head while he laid there, letting himself be babied by you. He never expected you to be so caring and sweet like that, it had taken a while for that side to come through, but once you showed him a tiny shred of it, he was hooked for life.

Eddie liked how sweet you were then, but nothing compared to how sweet you were to him when he was between your legs, lapping at your cunt like it was his lifeline. Like his only purpose in life was to please you, and he was convinced it was. Your voice would lilt, nasally and high- nearing a whine. You’d sing his praises, back arched and writing while he devoured you. You were so sweet, tasted so sweet, sounded so sweet. To hell with what anyone else thought about you, Eddie knew you were sweet, his sweet girl.

And you knew him too, the Eddie that the world didn’t see- or he tried not to let see. The sweet, dedicated, lovestruck boy who bended to your whim. Who would do anything and everything for you, did everything for you. Eddie Munson, the simp- no, the certified lover boy. Your certified sweet lover boy.

[ckret2]

Chapter 26 of human Bill doing his best to arm-twist his captors into doing anything he wants, featuring: the gang going to the mall, where Bill tries on some of the most ridiculous outfits known to mankind, to Mabel's delight and Stan & Dipper's despair.

(please click on the second image, you can't imagine how long it took to make those two patterns. (Okay you probably can, it was a couple hours.))

####

Bill said, "Well, you can tell Stanford that if he's got a problem with my drinking, I'd like to see him try to get a good night's sleep in an alien body without some kind of sedative! I've got a fresh new liver, three little cans of cider a day won't kill me before one of us finds a way to get me out of this body!"

Exasperated, Mabel said, "Why do I have to tell him? Just talk to each other."

"You think I don't want to? He's the one who's put two doors, an elevator, and a trick vending machine between him and me."

Mabel supposed that was true. "Okay, fine. More importantly: what do you think of going shopping?"

Bill shrugged. "Sure. I'll take any opportunity to go outside. It'll be a good test run for other trips."

Mabel frowned, clearly disappointed by the reaction. "That's it? I thought you'd be more excited. You can finally get more clothing!"

"How much clothing do I need?" He gestured down at himself, wearing his hoodie and a borrowed skirt. "I'm not naked, what more do you want from me?"

"To like your clothing!"

"Oh, right. I keep forgetting you have a whole thing about people other than you being happy."

Mabel socked his arm. "Do you just not care about clothes? I didn't expect you to be like Dipper about it."

Eugh. "It's not that I don't like fashion in general," Bill said, eager to distance himself from the household wet blanket. "I have very strong opinions on other people's fashion! It's just..."

It was just that he didn't relish the idea of standing in front of a mirror, partially nude, staring at the bone-caged skin prison he was locked inside.

He still put towels over the bathroom mirror when he showered.

"Well," he said, "isn't the whole point of fashion self-expression? And my self can't be expressed in this body." He tugged on the collar of his hoodie, "This is as close as it's gonna get."

"Does clothing have to express your self? Can't it just look really cool?" Mabel asked.

Bill considered that. "I do like looking really cool."

Maybe he didn't have to see it as dressing himself. Treat it like inflicting his design whims upon a helpless human puppet. He'd done that before, he liked doing that. He was lucky, at least, that as far as puppets went, this was an incredibly good-looking one. Aside from the neck.

"Do I have to wear that, though?" Bill skeptically eyed the knit garment held in Mabel's hands.

"Yep! Grunkle Ford's orders! It's to make sure you don't talk to people."

"Can I put it on over my hoodie?"

"As heartwarming as it is that you love it so much: no, you've gotta take it off."

"How come?"

"It's safer this way! Your hoodie might freak people out."

"Freak them out how?"

####

Soos trudged into the kitchen at 3 a.m., yawning, and turned on the lights.

The Bill Cipher, triangular and angular, gold-bricked and one-eyed, hovered in the air.

Soos screamed. "He's back! Everyone watch out! You stay away from my family, you—" Soos picked up the nearest weapon and chucked it at Bill.

The spatula bounced harmlessly off his chest and clattered to the floor. Bill took his hood off. "Wow. Thanks for getting my hopes up, Questiony."

"Oh, whoops. Sorry 'bout that. At a quick glance, that hoodie makes you look a lot like... you." Soos looked Bill up and down again. "Hey. How come you're standing on the kitchen table in the middle of the night?"

"Eh." Bill shrugged. "It passes the time."

####

"Sometimes I curse your species's overactive pattern-detection instincts." Bill snatched Mabel's offering out of her hand and trudged to the bathroom to change.

He emerged a moment later wearing the tank top Mabel had knit for him, and tugged out the hem to examine it. She'd cross-stitched on the chest: "STAY BACK! I BITE SALES PEOPLE!"

"I'd be pretty insulted," Bill said, "if this wasn't the funniest thing I've ever worn."

####

Stan pulled the old Diablo near the porch to minimize the amount of time Bill would spend in open air between confinement in the shack and in a vehicle; then waited leaning against the car, glowering at the ground like the world's surliest chauffeur (he'd even put on his suit), for Dipper and Mabel to escort the prisoner outside.

The second Bill stepped off of the porch, he looked up in amazement. "What is that?"

Dipper and Mabel looked at Bill's face, then in the direction he was looking. He was staring straight into the sun without squinting. Mabel said, "The... sun?"

"No, not the sun! I mean the—" Bill gestured toward the sun. "Whatever it's doing."

Mabel looked skyward again. She didn't see anything else Bill could be referring to. "Shining?"

"I know what sunshine is!"

"Then what are you asking about!"

Bill studied the sky a moment longer. Finally, he said, "Guess I don't know what sunshine feels like! It's been a long time since I've been naked in the sun."

Stan's head snapped up to stare at Bill. Bill was still completely clothed.

After another few seconds, arms outstretched, staring in blank-faced wide-eyed wonder at the sky, Bill concluded, "I think I'm photosynthesizing again."

This time Dipper looked over. And, Bill was still completely human—a species notoriously well-known for not photosynthesizing. "'Again'?"

Bill didn't respond. Instead, with a shrill cackle that startled the nearby birds out of the trees, he took off at a full sprint.

"Hey!" Dipper tore after him. Stan tensed up, but then grunted, leaned back against his car, and waited for Bill to trip.

Bill's run was the awkward bouncing gait of a moon astronaut on fast forward: someone who at some point had definitely learned how to run, but clearly wasn't used to doing it in this body on this world. He switched to an odd sideways crab-walk gallop—which was, surprisingly, faster—and then attempted, and failed, a cartwheel. Dipper dove for Bill, Stan laughed at them both, and Mabel shouted encouragement at Bill from the porch; Bill hopped back up just before Dipper could catch him.

He attempted a second cartwheel but was caught in the middle by an invisible force jerking his wrist. He yelped and tumbled to the ground. "I think I twisted my arm!" He sounded way too giddy about this.

Mabel looked down at her own wrist and the chain bracelet. She wasn't being actively pulled toward Bill; but nevertheless she couldn't pull her wrist any further away from him. "It worked."

"Of course it did!" Breathing heavily, Bill got to his feet and leaned backward on his heels, using the tension of the bracelet around his wrist to keep from falling. "What, did you ever doubt me?"

"Yes," Stan said. "Always," Dipper said. "Every time you open your mouth," Mabel said.

"You're all haters."

Mabel took a flying leap off of the porch. Bill toppled on his back again.

Once they were all loaded in the car—Dipper in the front glaring in the rear view mirror, Mabel and Bill in the back with Bill making faces at the mirror—Stan said, "Okay. I'm not getting you anything nice, because you're not worth it."

"Aww. And after I made you almost five grand?"

Dipper's jaw dropped. "He what?! When did—"

Raising his voice, Stan went on, "So we're going to Shop Thrifty. Any complaints?"

Bill said, "You don't wanna go there."

Stan turned to give him a dark look.

"You don't," Bill said. "They were robbed this weekend. Security's gonna be high."

"No they weren't, you can't know that. You're making that up. I'm calling your bluff."

Dipper cleared his throat. "Actually... yeah, they were robbed. I've been investigating the possibility that it might've been..." At the sight of Bill's keen gaze in the rear view mirror, Dipper trailed off into mumbles.

Bill waited a second longer to ensure Dipper was properly cowed; then said, "See? You can trust me! But if you want to go to the thrift shop..."

"Ha." Stan drummed his fingers on the steering wheel; then reluctantly said, "I guess we could go to the mall—"

Mabel pumped her fists in the air. "THE MALL!"

"Yes! Finally!" Bill dragged his hands down his face in relief. "Civilization! Other people!"

"Hey!" Stan turned around to point threateningly at Bill. Bill held up his hands to block the accusatory finger. "This still isn't a social trip. Talk to anyone and we're going back to the car."

"I know, I know. I just wanna look at people. That's all!" Bill said. "You know that feeling when you come out of a couple weeks in the hole? When you're grateful just to see anybody?"

Stan's frown deepened; but he didn't say anything. He just turned around, ignored Dipper's curious look, and started driving.

Mabel and Bill high-fived.

####

As the car pulled into a parking spot, Mabel handed Bill a pair of mirrored sunglasses with one lens popped out. Bill rolled his (yellow, slitted) eye, but he switched his eyepatch over to the lensless side of the sunglasses and put them on. "Nobody'll notice my eyes. They only look inhuman at certain angles."

"We're being extra cautious," Mabel said.

"If you're gonna make me wear shades any time I'm in public, can I at least pick a pair I like while I'm here?"

Mabel said, "Sure!" at the same time Stan said, "Not a chance." Dipper looked between the two of them, and said, "I'm with Stan."

"I wasn't taking a vote." Bill leaned forward to shove Dipper's hat over his eyes, and followed Mabel out of the car before Dipper could retaliate.

Bill's grin got a little wider and his gait a little bouncier the closer they got to the mall, until he was practically skipping through the automatic doors. "Look at this place! I can't remember the last time I visited a bazaar this booming in person! Two stories, even! Wow!"

Dipper and Mabel exchanged a glance. Gravity Malls was, by far, the smallest mall either of them had ever visited. You could see from one end of it to the other in a straight shot, and the anchor store was just a more popular chain's discount outlet location. Dipper muttered, "He's trying too hard to talk up the place."

Mabel giggled. "Maybe he's easily impressed."

Bill evidently didn't care. He was too busy taking in the sight of all the stores and all the people who didn't hate his guts (or, at least, didn't know they did). He chipperly said, "Hey there!" as he wove around a haggard teenage kiosk salesman.

"Hello?" Snapping into sales mode, the kiosk kid said, "Are you interested in genuine gold-plated signet rings? We have rings with dragons, eagles, Chinese characters, American flags, football teams..."

Bill did a u-turn without slowing down. "Boy, am I! You got any secret societies?"

Stan wrapped an arm around Bill's shoulders—"No, you're not interested."—and dragged him away. He lowered his voice. "What happened to no talking to anyone?"

Bill laughed. "Sorry, I got excited!"

"Uh-huh. Get 'excited' one more time, and I'll assume you're 'forgetting' the rules on purpose and we're going home."

Bill stopped laughing. "Okay, fine." He trudged alongside Stan, sulking.

####

Stan tried to direct them toward the discount outlet store; Bill looked wistfully at Edgy On Purpose; Mabel overruled them both by grabbing Bill's hand and bodily dragging him to the coolest store in the mall: 18th Century, the place where the almost-and-barely college kids shopped, and Mabel's newest fashion avatars now that she'd had a year to explore "teenage" fashion and had gotten over it. "You can tell it's for college kids, because they also sell bedsheets and inflatable furniture," she explained as they entered, just before abandoning Bill with Stan as she ran off to start collecting clothing on Bill's behalf. Bill and Stan side-eyed each other, and Bill drifted off toward the small home goods section.

"Ooh, Dipper look." Mabel pointed at a sales rack. "Out-of-season prom dresses! Those are the fanciest dresses!" She dove in eagerly, checking the size tags.

Dipper hovered behind her, hands stuffed deep in his pockets, trying to stand far enough away that it didn't look like he was an active participant in this shopping trip but not so far away that people might start wondering why a thirteen-year-old boy was in the dress section by himself. "Are you shopping for B—for Goldie, or for yourself?"

"For Goldie, obviously! He likes having a triangular silhouette, he needs dresses!"

"Does he want dresses?"

Mabel made a vague I dunno sound. "I haven't asked him yet."

"Maybe you should?"

"It's fine, I'm going to! He can tell me when he catches up!" Mabel pulled out a sequin-studded dress that looked like it had been constructed out of fluorescent pink peacock feathers. She paused. "Okay, it's not exactly his style, but do you think he might try it on anyway?"

Dipper groaned. "Mabel, he's a guy, he's not gonna try on a dress. He wears top hats and bow ties, remember?"

"I know, but... just for fun...?"

Dipper shook his head. Mabel sighed.

Bill rounded a rack of clothing, using a curtain rod he'd claimed out of the home goods section like it was a cane. "Hey, star girl. I know we're here on a focused mission, buuut do you think we could spare a minute to try something just for fun..." He trailed off as he and Mabel simultaneously realized they were both holding a pink peacock dress. Bill's face lit up. "Where have you been all my life?"

"Shut up! How are you this cool!"

"Where's the dressing room."

They took off for the back of the store, Bill tripping over a whole clothing rack as he went.

Dipper watched them uncomfortably, decided he didn't want to follow, and picked his way to the front of the store, where Stan was leaning in the doorway with his arms crossed tightly and a sour look on his face. Dipper asked, "Does it worry you how well Mabel and Goldie..."

"Ohhh yeah."

####

Bill swung open the dressing room door. "Well? Whaddaya think?" He fanned out the feathers as best he could with his hands. 

"It's so beautiful," Mabel said.

"It's hideous," Stan said.

"It's kinda baggy around the shoulders and chest," Dipper said.

Bill shrugged. "I've got the shoulder span of a snake and the hips of a sumo wrestler, what do you expect?"

"It's okay, I can tailor anything we get," said Mabel, who had never tailored anything in her life but was sure she had a book on it in Piedmont.

"Tailor nothing," Stan said, "we're not getting this! What, are you crazy?"

Bill said, "Obviously."

Stan gestured at him. "What in the world would you wear this for?"

"Who cares? It looks cool and this body is merely a meat armature to drape coolness upon." Bill stepped back into the dressing room to eye the dress in the mirror. "Color's a little uniform, though. I'd need some accessories to break it up."

"I think you're right," Mabel said, stroking her chin. "You know what color goes best with hot pink?"

Simultaneously, she and Bill said, "Lime green," then cracked up and pointed at each other excitedly. 

Stan and Dipper exchanged a tired look.

####

"How about this one?" Bill looked at Stan and Dipper, who were standing guard while Mabel searched for more clothes. "It's obviously the best shirt in the store, but is it me?" Bill was wearing a loose Hawaiian shirt covered in bright multicolored triangles with animal skin patterns—leopard, zebra, tiger, checkers—and a pair of black jeans that fit his hips but consequently drowned his ankles. "Trick question. It's me all over!" He laughed. His laughter petered out. "It's... it's more me than I am. Wow."

Dipper and Stan didn't laugh. "I'm a Hawaiian shirt kind of man," Stan said, "but if the choice was between that thing and going naked, I'd go naked."

"Keep your nudist fantasies to yourself, Stanley." Bill studied his reflection again. "The shirt's great, but they make the pants look dull. I need something that coordinates with it. But what..."

Mabel returned while Bill was musing on his shirt. She wordlessly held out the pair of cheetah/tiger print rainbow leggings she'd been retrieving. It matched the shirt perfectly, in the sense that they both had so many colors on them that inevitably some of those colors were accidentally the same.

Bill accepted the leggings with an expression close to awe. "You're a fashion genius," he said. "Are you sure you don't want your own planet?"

"Not from you," Mabel said.

And for a moment, Bill actually almost looked hurt.

####

Bill held up several shirts thoughtfully. The first was an eye-searing abomination; the second was a retina-burning nightmare; and the third was about the same, but it was covered in smiley faces, and somehow that made it worse.

"I feel like they'd all have the right psychological effect on my enemies," Bill said, "but all three is a little redundant, isn't it?"

Not looking, Stan asked, "Is the effect you're trying to have boring your enemies to death? Because it's working."

Bill scowled. He chucked all three at Stan's face. "Fine! Stick them in the 'maybe' pile, I'll narrow them down later." By this point, the "maybe" pile in Stan's arms was almost too big for him to carry.

"My willingness to indulge Mabel is losing to my annoyance at indulging you," Stan said. "I thought this was going to be a quick trip."

"Yeah, well, I'm kinda getting into it."

"Well, would you get out of it and dress like a normal person?"

"Okay, fine. I'll try on something subtle—"

"Goldie!" Mabel ran up waving a ruby red jacket over her head. "Look what I found in the clearance bin! Glittery vinyl!"

Bill's eyes widened.

Reverently, Mabel said, "It looks like a 50's diner booth."

"Is the picture on the back a—?"

"Yeah, it's a puking kangaroo."

Bill snatched the jacket from her hands. "I'll try something subtle after this."

Stan groaned. "I'm gonna stretch my legs." He dropped the "maybe" pile on the floor. "Dipper, make sure the demon doesn't try to end the world while I'm gone."

Dipper resigned himself to the fact that this shopping trip was never going to end, and curled up on the floor to wait to die.

####

"Now, this is a keeper," Bill said, examining the summer dress in the mirror. With Stan gone, Bill had a moment of leisure to properly inspect the way the fabric moved and draped. He was using the opportunity to grab the skirt and twirl it like a three-year-old who'd never worn a dress before. "It really speaks to me."

Mabel asked, "Is it because it's covered in—?"

"It's because it's covered in yellow triangles. I know what I like!" He spun around to see how the skirt flared out, tripped and fell over—"I meant to do that!"—and heaved himself back upright with his curtain rod cane. "I'm fine, shoo." He waved off Mabel's attempt to help, and brushed off the dress. "Too bad it looks weird with pants. I'd prefer my legs covered, but dresses are the only thing most human stores carry that flatter my shape, so what're you gonna do."

"What about more leggings?" Mabel asked.

"Do they have any black ones that don't look like cheap spandex?"

"I think I saw some that look like jeans!"

"It'll do. Good thinking, star girl."

"Any time, triangle... guy." Mabel paused. "Hey... just out of curiosity—since I don't think we ever really covered this, since you're an alien and all—aaare you a guy or a girl?"

"I'm a triangle! C'mon, you already know that."

Mabel opened her mouth to protest that Bill hadn't answered her question; hesitated as she realized that maybe, in fact, he had; and instead asked, "Is a triangle more like a guy or a girl?"

Bill paused as he gave the question a moment of contemplation; and then he said, "No, not really."

Dipper, who'd been using the "maybe" clothing pile as a pillow and pretending to ignore everything Bill did, finally gave in to the urge to glance over curiously.

Mabel concluded a triangle must be either in the exact middle of the scale, or else outside of it completely. "Oh! Okay."

Bill elbowed Mabel and said, "Keep this bit between you and me," blithely ignoring the fact that Dipper was totally within earshot and now seething about being ignored in return. "But if anyone else on this planet asks, I'll usually imply I'm a 'man,'" he put the word in finger quotes, as though he wasn't wholly convinced that "men" really existed, "but—that's strictly for business."

"Business?"

"You know, work stuff," Bill said dismissively. "It makes things easier. See, for the last few millennia, most humans have taken a male's suggestions a bit more seriously than a female's, even when the entity they're talking to is an all-knowing extra-dimensional divine alien angelic muse. Crazy, right?" He said this like he was imparting some great secret he'd figured out by himself.

"Ugh, yeah," Mabel groaned. "Sexism."

"Sexism," Bill sighed, as if he had any dog in this fight at all and wasn't just pretending he could commiserate with his only local friend. "So I figure I can get things done faster as a Bill than a Jill. But honestly? Your local gender system doesn't make any more difference to me than it would to you if somebody asked how many sides you have."

Mabel considered the matter of her hypothetical sides. "I feel like I'd have seven sides."

"Oho! I stand corrected." Bill laughed. "I would've pegged you as a pentagon. I'll remember that."

Mabel had no idea what information she'd just conveyed to Bill, but she felt like he was impressed she had an answer at all.

####

"How about this one?"

"I love it. It's so mysterious," Mabel said.

Stan said, "I thought you were gonna try on something subtle?" 

"What's more subtle than camo! That's the whole point of it!"

Dipper said, "You're not wearing camo."

Bill looked down at his galaxy print tank top, galaxy print button up, galaxy print skirt, galaxy print leggings, and galaxy print sneakers. "I guess what counts as camouflage depends on the context."

"Wh—" Dipper blinked at Bill in disbelief. "In what context could this possibly qualify as camouflage?"

"Is that a trick question?"

Drily, Stan asked, "You got travel plans taking you to outer space anytime soon, pal?"

Bill's shoulders slumped.

"Now put on something you might actually wear," Stan said.

####

Bill opened the dressing room door with four sets of basic black leggings and pants, a couple shorts, and several plain tops in various shades of gold and yellow. "Okay, done."

"Not gonna model each of these for us?" Stan asked.

"Do you want me to?"

"No."

"Fine! You kids don't need to weigh in on these—they're not as fun as the other outfits you were busy unappreciating." Bill shoved the whole pile against Stan's chest, burying the "maybe" outfits he'd insisted he would narrow down. "Okay, let's go."

Stan scowled. "How many outfits did we agree to get you?"

"You didn't." Bill headed to the front of the store.

Mabel started to follow him, paused, glanced back at Stan, and said, "Maybe you can just... toss some of it back on the racks?"

"Maybe you can toss most of it," Dipper said. "How much does he really need, like two shirts and two pants?"

Mabel laughed. "Shut up, that's what you wear!"

Stan rolled his eyes, but headed to the front of the store with an armload of clothing.

The cashier smiled as Bill approached, read his "I BITE SALES PEOPLE" shirt, and quickly turned her attention to Stan. "Hi! Did you find everything you needed?"

"Yeah, and then some," he grumbled, shooting a look at Bill and Mabel. He dumped the pile of clothing on the counter with a heavy groan proportionate to the emotional weight of carrying Bill Cipher's shopping, and shoved his hands in his pockets. "Where'd I put my wallet?"

As the cashier scanned the clothes, took off the security tags, and stuffed them into bags, Stan alternated between snatching up the bags to sling them over his arms—looking grumpier with each one—and searching for his wallet. "I'm sure I put... ah-ha!" He withdrew it triumphantly. "There! I know I've got a twenty in here somewhere."

The cashier immediately stopped scanning to give Stan a perplexed look. Hopefully, she asked, "Will you be paying for the rest by card?"

"What do you mean, 'the rest'? How much could this stuff—?" Stan grabbed the price tag on one of the shirts, squinted at it, and grabbed his chest. "Holy moly! For one shirt? This is robbery!"

Mabel winced. "I guess it's a little bit pricier than the thrift shop, but it's not that bad—is it?"

"Not that bad?! For prices like this, it'd be cheaper to get a boat ticket to Taiwan and rob the sweatshop where they sew this stuff! Forget it!" He started sliding bags off his arms and tossing them back on the counter. "Keep them! We're not shopping here!"

"But Grunkle Stan!" Mabel grabbed his coat. "We just found a bunch of stuff that's perfect for Goldie! Please?"

"Do you think I care? He'd be wearing potato sacks if I had my way! We'll go to the outlet store, those are the prices he deserves."

Dipper groaned. "Do we have to do this whole thing all over again?" He and Mabel both looked pleadingly at Bill, waiting for him to protest the return of his carefully-curated wardrobe of tacky golden horrors.

Bill shrugged. "If he didn't bring enough money to the mall, there's nothing we can do about it now."

"Hey! This isn't on me! If it wasn't for you, we'd be at the Shop Thrifty right now!"

Bill scoffed. "Come on, Stanley. It's the 2010's. Even at a thrift store, how far do you think a Jackson's gonna carry you?"

"I think it'd get me a sock I could cram in your mouth, how do you like that?" Stan tossed the last bag on the counter, told the dismayed cashier, "And he looked ugly in everything he picked out, anyway," and stomped toward the door.

"I'm so sorry," Mabel said to the cashier, and hurried after Stan with Dipper. "But Grunkle Stan, we found so many nice things here! We could at least get a couple shirts or leggings..."

"Hey," Bill said. "It's okay, kid."

Mabel shut her mouth, but she didn't look happy about it.

The party trailed behind Stan past a couple of stores, before Bill sped up to walk alongside him and asked, "Well? What's our haul?"

Stan grunted. "What?"

A slow, sly grin spread across Bill's face. "Come on. You can fool the humans, but you can't fool me. What's our haul?"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

Bill raised a brow.

Stan only lasted a couple of seconds before he cracked a mischievous smile as well. "Oh, did you mean this haul?" He rummaged in his pockets and pulled out a pair of leggings. And then another pair. And then, from his other pocket, a Hawaiian shirt. And—

Mabel gasped. "Grunkle Stan," she hissed. "You didn't!"

"Aw, man." Dipper smacked his forehead. "So all that was an act?"

—and three pairs of socks out of his jacket sleeve, and a dress from his inner coat pocket, and— "Yeeep. I've still got it."

Mabel and Dipper exchanged an exasperated look.

"And you were gonna hit the thrift store." Bill lifted his sunglasses so Stan could see him roll his eye.

"Hey, they've usually got less security than the mall. It's a safer score."

"Cheaper, too."

"You shut up! I'd like to see you do as well."

A bright smile snapped across Bill's face. "Would you! Then get a load of this—" He showed off the front and back of one empty hand, then the other; curled one into a fist; pushed his fingers into the fist and plucked out a corner of fabric; and then, like a magician revealing a long line of scarves tied at the corners, pulled out one garment after another, shirts and skirts and pants. Mabel buried her face in her hands. Dipper looked around like he expected mall security to run up and immediately arrest them all. Bill said, "What'd we lift, almost half the stuff I picked? Neither of us managed to get the kangaroo jacket, did we."

"How did you..." Stan trailed off, jaw dropped.

Bill smugly stuffed the clothing back under his tank top. "All that, and... these." Bill lifted one foot and wiggled it, showing off the yellow foam clogs he'd changed into.

"You just walked out with those on?"

"Sure! You'd be amazed what you can do in plain sight—as long as you don't call attention to it."

"Where the heck are your sandals?"

"Not my problem." Bill gestured vaguely back toward 18th Century with his curtain rod cane. "From the lost-and-found they came, to the lost-and-found they shall return."

Stan, having had his attention called to the curtain rod cane, snatched it out of Bill's hand with a muttered "No weapons," and tossed it in a nearby trash can. Bill watched it go with an expression of miffed resignation. Stan said, "Okay, but how'd you get the security tags off all of those?"

And Bill's grin was back. "Maybe I'll show you—if you show me how you got all that clothing out of those bags into your pockets."

"I thought you were watching."

"My eye is better than my physical coordination. Give me a couple pointers and I'll give you a couple."

Stan looked doubtful. "I just saw you hide half a suitcase under a tank top. I don't think you need any more help with..."

"I'll sweeten the deal," Bill said. "I'm not really a clogs guy. You set me up to walk out with a pair of proper dress shoes, and I'll help you grab a couple rings from that booth at the door?"

Stan scowled. Bill grinned wider. "Come ooon. I know you were eyeing those rings too."

"If we get caught and you throw me under the bus, I'm dragging you down with me."

"I wouldn't dream of it! I don't think either of us can afford to show up on the police's radar, do you?"

"All right, fine. You've got yourself a deal, Cipher."

Mabel silently slid her cell phone over to Dipper so he could text Soos and Ford about this unsettling development.

####

(Thanks for reading!! As always, if you made it this far I deeply appreciate any thoughts & comments you want to share! Stay tuned next week for the unsettling development to get Even Worse.)

[lixiesbrowniess]

Ok so I had a thought 😜 Ao’nung x reader where she gets her 🩸while they’re doing it. I don’t think Na’vi get periods so I guess reader would be an avatar. Not really heavy detail on the actual smutty part but just about how he’d comfort reader after he clams down because he gets a little scared 😫

Oneshot: How do you stop it?

Ao'nung x fem!avatar!reader

Words count: 919

A/N: WHY DO I LIKE THIS SO MUCH?!! [ik it's short and m sorry bout it but hope you like it]

Warning: mentions of sex, mention of p in v, aged up characters 18+, bleeding (not by injury), menstruations, femavatar!reader, worried Ao'nung, kinda fluffy?

Na'vi vocaboulary: Tawtute: sky person/human, Skxawng: moron

"ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE OK??!" he blurted out as he held you by your arms shaking you back and forward. "I am but don't shake me so hard!" you said looking at your really worried boyfriend.

This is a very simply way to explain what happened. You two were having some horny and healty sex, right then your period decided to knock in. Obviously Ao'nung started to freak out and IMMEDIATLY stopped his movements. Currently you two were sitting on your knees in front of each other, still naked, as you tried to calm him down.

"Ao'nung i'm fine, this is normal for the sky people" you started explainin as long as it looked like he calmed himself down a bit. "But you're bleeding I-, are you sure I didn't- you know... cause it?" you raised an eyebrow.

this was actually pretty funny. "theres no way you did 'Nung" you chuckled.

"I mean i was... we were... AND THEN YOU-" he got interrupted as you took him by his shoulders and squeezed him lightly. He was really freaking out. "Ao'nung. I'm fine." you said looking him straight in the eyes. His breath started to slow down as he stared back.

"Look i'mma just explain it to ya." he nodded at your words. " but first I'll be needing something that looks like a pad..." you murmured looking around. You took the cloth that was thrown away some minutes ago by none other than Ao'nung and wore it again.

"So. you know I have an avatar body right? Just like Jake i used to be a human so a tawtute." He nodded again. "back in earth, once every month, after reaching the appropriate age, a female gets this bleeding and it's called period."

"It usually lasts 5 to 7 days but varies from woman to woman. Once it's over the woman is fertile so she can become pregnant." He looked a lot confused but still nodded at your words. "therefore, women on earth needs this to happen, otherwise they cannot have children."

"Plus when i got transferred into my avatar body it didn't change." he blinked looking at you with a kinda blank stare. "So it's normal for you to bleed from your vagina?" He asked looking stunned. You chuckled "Yes you skxawng" you smiled caressing his hair.

He hugged you close and hid his face onto your shoulder "Is there a way to stop it?" he murmured in the crook of your neck "I don't want you to suffer." he drew circles on your stomach and then laid his full palm onto your navel covering almost your entire belly. He placed sweet kisses all over your neck and collarbone, he never treated you so gently. I mean of course he did, but never THAT gently.

You just laid there and closed your eyes as he just cuddled you and snuggles into you. The cramps were starting to kick in but as his warm hands were laying onto your belly and his tail was wrapped around your waist keeping you close, you weren't paying attantion to that. Or to anything around you.

"Can we make tsaheylu?" your eyes shot open at his words. "I wanna feel how you're feeling right now"

You knew you two were already mated but just by words. Just by Eywa's words you didn't bond yet. "Are you sure?" you asked slowly looking at him "I am".

"All right then." you handed him your braid. He reached his back taking his and slowly approaching the pink tendrils that were moving around impatiently searching for the connection.

Your tendrils met. In that moment all you could feel was Ao'nung. His breath, his heart, his blood rushing, his worry, his love. Your pupils dilated as you both colud feel each other.

He leaned down and kissed your lips gently before laying back down massaging your belly with slow strokes. "I can feel everything Y/n. I'm here with you don't worry."

"Says the one who just freaked out" you jokingly teased placing a kiss on his forehead. "I really wanna make it stop. I don't want you to feel such a pain".

"I'm used to it really-" he placed a finger on your lips "nothing as my consent to make you suffer." he said looking directly in your eyes. Your heart squeexed at his words making you smile uncontrollably.

"remember i can feel everything. And you're the one who said we can't fuck if you're in this state." he mockingly said with a shit eating smirk plastered on his face.

There he was. That frendly little shit who always found something to make you nervous about. "Aw stop it!" You hit his arm causing him to laugh softly as he kissed you again.

He placed his forehead on yours closing his eyes and holding your cheek with one hand.

"Actually there is a way..." you murmured breaking the silence "but i don't think it would be a good-" you got cut off as he speedily got up and leaned closer staring into your orbs. "Tell me about it my love". Blood rushed to your cheeks as youblushed heavily at the nickname.

"W-well i must get pregnant but it will stop just till-" He stood up at the speed of light "As soon as it's over we're gonna mate so many times that you not getting pregnant is not even an option."

Well guess who was gonna stop him.

Certainly not you.

A/N: here you have anon hope you liked it ;333

Tag list!

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[0cta9on]

IVE Gaeul Short Story

Heya there dude✌️Great day to you

Can I have a short about Gaeul?

"Despite being younger than her, you still treat her like a baby, which she seriously protests. She can be tsundere at times. Cutest thing about her especially when she accidentally blurts her true feelings, then quickly covers it up."

In IVE she's the oldest but shortest one, due to her small figure she sometimes gets teased by her member, imo that's her cutest charm 😭 hope this enlightens your day☺️

Hello mikeylo! Tbh I had no idea Gaeul is the oldest in IVE, I always assumed it was Yujin :> This might be a little different than what you ask for, but I hope you enjoy it regardless :]

It's a great day outside - the sun is shining, birds are chirping, and the breeze is... breezing. Perfect day for a bike ride through the park. You text the group chat, inviting them all to join you on your ride, only to be met with an array of excuses of why they can't go.

"My stomach hurts."

"My grandma is in the hospital and I need to see her."

"I have a date today." (He definitely doesn't, but you guess someone else took his excuse)

Right as you think you're gonna have to tough it out alone, you get another text that brings a smile to your face.

Gaeul: I'll go with you.

______________________________________________________________

"See, isn't this so nice, noona?"

You go on bike rides often, so this is all pretty second nature to you. Gaeul, on the other hand...

"H-how the f-freak do you ride this th-thing?"

She hasn't even looked at, let alone ridden a bike, since elementary school. Had you known that, you would've suggested just going for a walk instead, but Gaeul insisted on going on this bike ride with you.

You get off your bike and go to help her. "Here, just keep your arms steady and-" You place your hand on hers to steady the handles, but she swats your hand away.

"I-I can do it by myself, j-just tell me what to do."

"Uh, alright, the main thing is to keep the handlebars steady, if you shake too much like you're doing now, you're going to fall over."

Gaeul tries to move forward, but can barely go a few feet without placing her foot on the ground.

You sigh. "Are you sure you want to do this, noona? We can do something else if you want-"

"No!" She exclaims, drawing some looks from other people at the park. Her cheeks burn pink with embarrassment. "I-I can do this, just- AH!"

Gaeul falls to the ground, scraping her knee against the pavement. In a panic, you run to her side to assess the damage.

"Noona! Are you okay!? Do you need anyth-"

"Ugh, I'm fine! It's just a little scrape." The scratch on her knee is bright red against her porcelain skin. It is, indeed, just a little scrape, but you can't stop yourself from worrying.

"There's a convenience store nearby, I can go and get some bandages real quick-"

"I'm not a child!" Gaeul huffs at you with anger and annoyance. "I told you I'm fine, you idio- Ow!"

As she tries to stand up, a pain shoots through her leg, causing her to fall back down. Before she can protest, you pick up her and carry her to a nearby bench.

"Yah, what are you doing, put me down-"

"Noona," you interrupt her, looking into her eyes. "You say you're fine a lot, but I can tell when you're lying. You never tell anyone about your problems so no one has to worry about you, but that only makes me worry more. I know you better than anyone else in this world, so please let me help you."

She opens her mouth to speak, but no words come out, only a blank thoughtful stare. You place her gently on the bench.

"I'll be right back, okay? I'm gonna get some bandages," you say. Gaeul gives you a small nod before you run to the convenience store.

______________________________________________________________

You return to her a couple minutes later with some Hello Kitty bandages and a banana milk. Gaeul is staring at the ground, that same blank expression on her face.

"Here." You poke the straw through the lid of the banana milk. "Drink up."

"I can do it myself, y'know..." She mutters under her breath, taking the drink from your hand.

"I know, but I want to do it for you, okay?" She turns her head away to hide the blush on her cheeks, but you still see it anyways. So cute.

You carefully place a Hello Kitty bandage on her knee, offering an apologetic look after she winces from the pain.

"There, all good now." You smile up at her, but she averts her gaze. "Are you okay, noona?"

"I'm fine-"

"No. I know that look on your face. If you really don't want to say it, I won't pry, but please just let me help you," you plead.

Gaeul sighs, dropping her gaze to the ground. "Why do you treat me like such a kid?"

"Wha...?

"I'm older than you, y'know. I should be the one getting you bandages and banana milk."

You look at her, confused. Her expression is oddly serious, a far cry from her usual fiery self.

"Noona, I just want to help-"

"Well, I never asked for your help!" She yells at you. Her voice is angry, but you can see tears welling up in her eyes. "You're so... annoying sometimes, y'know that!? Always asking how I'm doing, taking care of me like I'm some kind of baby, well, I'm not a baby, you idiot! I can take care of myself!"

You're left stunned, your mind too boggled to say anything. How long has she felt like this? Did you make her uncomfortable? You look back on all the time you've spent with her. Were you being overbearing? All you ever did was look out for her. Where everyone else saw this angry girl, you saw someone who was dying to be understood, and you wanted to be the person that understood her.

You meet her eyes. Tears pour down her face with each shaky breath. "I-I'm sorry, noona, I... If you hate me so much, why did you agree to hang out with me?"

"Because I don't hate you, stupid, I like you!" Her cheeks burn red with passion. "And you're too good for me..." Just like a fizzling flame, Gaeul's anger devolves into a waterfall of tears.

You sit next to her and wrap you arms around her, pulling her into a gentle squeeze as she cries.

"W-why are you so nice to me...?" She asks in between sobs. "I push e-everyone else away, yet y-you always come back. Why?

A second passes before you're able to answer. "Because you're my friend, and I... I like you too. A lot."

Gaeul looks up at you, her cheeks red and wet with tears.

"I hate it when you think you have to deal with everything by yourself because you don't. You have a whole group of friends there for you. A-and me." You meet her eyes, heart thumping with nervous excitement. "I want you to rely on me the most. M-maybe I started treating you like a child because of that, I'm sorry-"

Gaeul kisses your cheek, sending a wave of electricity through your entire body. It was short and sweet, yet the heat lingers on your skin.

"I-I'm sorry for yelling at you," she says, not meeting your eyes. "You treat me so nicely, and I treat you like garbage.

"Would you kiss garbage on the cheek?" You quip, eliciting a cute giggle from her lips.

The sun falls behind the horizon, painting the sky above into an ombre of fiery orange and gentle indigo. You pull her closer to you, wrapping an arm around her waist as she rests her head on your shoulder. The two of you have a lot to talk about later, but right now, you just want to say in this moment, gazing at the sky.

[iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia]

Hello! I’ll start off with I hope you’re having a good day! And then I’ll dive into my weird head cannon suggestion: How would the Main Six react to an mc that gets nose bleeds. Not really like they get hit, more like… they’re sitting there minding their business and there their nose is just ~fwooosh!~ blood and the LI = 😟

The Arcana HCs: M6 when MC gets a nosebleed

~ dear anon, this is exactly the kind of unusual, delightful, and very human request I started writing headcanons for XD thanks for the prompt, I hope you enjoy! - brainrot ~

Julian

Briefly freaks out for like 2.5 seconds

"Ah, right, I'm a doctor. Let me take a look at your lovely face, my dear, I'll take care of it. Oho! A nosebleed! I know just the cure for this, excuse me while I ah ... pull you a little closer ~"

Continues to keep you calm and distracted while he treats your nose

Nonstop flirting while he takes advantage of the proximity

Will kiss you afterwards as payment for his services

Said kiss will send him into a dramatic, poetic monologue about how he would kiss your blood-soaked lips and your ability to be at once wounded and beautiful and -

You get the idea. He'll continue for as long as you let him or until something else demanding his attention appears (like an irritated Malak)

Asra

Mildly panicked, does a very good job of hiding it

They can tell it's a nosebleed right away, but there's always that extra sensitivity in the back of their head about whether you're in pain or if it's a symptom of anything worse

He'll pull you somewhere secluded and grab his scarf or a handkerchief if he has one to press to your face

They'll hold your hand and tell you silly stories to keep you (and themself) distracted until it's over

He will tease you about it afterwards

"I've heard that nosebleeds can happen when you think about something too heated for too long. But we know that would never apply to you, MC. It certainly couldn't have been that you were thinking about me."

Faust will scold them for teasing you when you were bleeding minutes ago

Nadia

Shocked and startled at first

Immediately taking your face in both of her hands to get a closer look at what's going on

She'll grab handfuls of her sleeves or skirt and press it to your nose, completely focused on you until the nosebleed stops

Slightly shaken afterwards because it was just a nosebleed, but it was still blood, on your face, and she didn't really expect it to be there

This is a good time to joke around and relieve the tension

You might also accompany her to change her clothes. She doesn't regret caring for you at all but she certainly isn't comfortable spending the rest of the day wearing something bloodstained

She'll study up on nosebleeds later. If it happens often Chandra now carries a clean handkerchief on her leg at all times

Muriel

Oh no

This *will* trigger him. It's blood, it's on your face, and it happened out of nowhere, which means it might be his fault oh god

Of course it doesn't help that you're more concerned about his oncoming panic attack than you are about yourself, so now you're both trying to take care of each other while ignoring half the problem

Inanna doesn't know who to take care of first, she's whimpering and running between the two of you and it's not helping

You're going to have to pull and turn away where he can't see the blood and hold his hand instead while you wait for the mess to stop

You'll both be fine, it was just a nosebleed and Muriel's getting better at grounding himself, but you'll need a nap and cuddle session afterwards

Portia

Genuinely unconcerned

It's a nosebleed. Nosebleeds happen all the time

Besides, you're MC! You're the coolest, strongest person she's ever known, there's no reason to be worried unless you give her a reason to be worried

She'll hand you her handkerchief and laughingly ask if you're okay

"Are you good there, MC? Is the weather getting to you or am I just too hot to handle?"

She is oddly quiet on the way home

It's not about you, though, she's just apprehensive about how much work it's going to take to get the bloodstain out

Pepi has an odd intuition for when one is about to happen and will start batting at your nose in advance when she feels one coming

Lucio

Hey, you two have been walking for a while, it might be time for a break soon and WHOAH WHOAH WHOAH WHY ARE YOU BLEEDING

Oh it's a nosebleed? Oh, okay.

He'll suggest you go ahead and take that break. He'll find some shade and a comfy place to sit and lead you over there

Very excited to see you heal yourself with some badass magic, disappointed but understanding when you don't and choose to wait it out instead

Seeing the blood inspires him to tell you about all the injuries he's accumulated from his years on the battlefield

There's no chance of you getting bored with his loud and dramatic reenactments happening in the middle of the road

Mercedes and Melchior will take turns sitting at your side and barking at his antics

[storiesaplenty]

Jelly Bracelets (6)

Eddie Munson x f/Reader

Jelly Bracelets Masterlist

This has not been proofread. Please enjoy, though.

Warnings: swearing. Some nudity, but nothing detailed.

Gifs & photos do not belong to me: 1st gif: @munsuneddie

WC: 830

©️ storiesaplenty 2024: Do not repost or translate my work. This is the only place I post my work.

White - wearer will flash what they have

Eddie Munson may be the freak of Hawkins, but he is your best friend. Who is always willing to teach you new things, even when you get new bracelets from your cousin. Eddie will even go as far as teaching & showing you what each one means.

Eddie Munson's Pov:

She is laughing at me as I am muttering under my breath.

How the hell did I get roped into helping her move?

I must of said the last part out loud.

"It is literally six boxes Eddie."

"Five boxes too many." Was my retort as I pulled out of the driveway.

Her and I flipping the bird at her old roommate, who is standing outside, her arms crossed.

She made sure to double check all the boxes to make sure we didn't take any of her shit.

When I caught her going through a box, I confronted her about it.

"I am just making sure what is packed, is her stuff."

"Like I would want any of your prissy shit." I heard from behind me, I covered my mouth with my hand, trying to stop myself from laughing as the ex-roommate started to get huffy.

"Did you take anything?" I asked her once we were completely safe.

"Have you seen her stuff? Hell no." Was her reply.

I laughed, knowing she wouldn't have taken anything. Their styles are completely different.

"Besides, even if I did, I am sure she would have an itemized list of everything that is hers in there."

I wouldn't be shocked at that actually.

Thankfully this is all behind her now, and I know she will be treated better with Steve and Robin.

◆

It was just the two of us moving her in, but she doesn't have that much stuff. Mostly clothes and some stuff she was able to grab before she was kicked out of her house.

Just the thought of that made me angry, but I knew she was thriving being on her own.

She seems happier, and that is all that matters to me.

"It was nice of Steve and Robin to make the bed for me." I nodded my head in agreement, knowing it was all Robin who did it while Steve stood to the side.

"Speaking of Robin..." My voice trailed off as I gave her a devious smile as she flung her head back and groaned.

"Not this again. It was one kiss, you saw it. Nothing more, nothing less."

"Come on sweetheart, she took one of my bracelets from me." I pretended to pout as I looked at the floor.

"Your bracelets? Eddie, Eddie, Eddie." She cupped my face, forcing me to look into her eyes.

"Like I would say yes to anymore." She gently slapped my face, and then turned around, laughing at my shocked expression.

"Oh come on. What harm is there if we continue this for a little while longer?"

"We could ruin our friendship and." She started to say, but I held up my hand, stopping her mid-sentence.

"Nothing can ruin our friendship." I said to her, hoping she knows I mean that.

I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her into my chest for a hug.

She started to push back a bit, complaining about how she needs a shower.

"I mean it. Nothing can ruin our friendship, let alone some jelly bracelets." I was very serious when I said that, making her stop.

"Okay, if you say so."

"Good, now I want to get my hands on that white one."

"Of course you do. What does it mean?" She said, no longer fighting as she held up her arm.

"Flash me." I said as I snapped it.

"Edward Munson." She screeched.

"Oh come on. Just a peak at something. I'll even take a butt check."

"Maybe I should let you see just an earlobe." She teased.

I didn't move, waiting for her to decide what she was going to do.

"Fine, sit and do not breath a word about this to anyone."

"Scouts honour."

"You were never a Scout, Eddie."

"Well, you know what I mean."

The room all of a sudden became quiet. Her hands were fidgeting with the hem of her shirt.

Then she pulled it over her head, and my eyes zoned in on her chest, that was in a dark red bra.

Her hands reached behind her as she unclipped it, the straps slowly falling down her shoulders.

She let the bra fall and I felt like I couldn't breathe.

I have jerked off plenty of times to the thought of her tits and now seeing them in person, had me realize how wrong I was about them.

I guess I was staring a bit to intently because she crossed her arms over her chest.

"Do not ever cover yourself up. You are beautiful." I was sincere when I said that her. I walked the short distance between us, not knowing what I was going to do.

Then we heard the front door, and Robin call out her name.

I took a step back, almost falling back onto the bed.

"I'll keep them busy while you get dressed."

"Thanks Eddie." I heard her softly say as I closed the door behind me.

♣︎

Purple (5) ♥︎ Glittery Clear (7)

[trashpandacraft]

hi! ok so i'm going to talk about one of my top-five favourite things, which is: dyeing stuff! this is going to be specifically about dyeing protein fibres (animal fibres—wool, alpaca, silk, etc) in a pretty low-key way in your kitchen.

to be clear up front: this is not the most scientific, most perfectly reproducible, or most Objectively Correct way to dye things. i get a lot of fibre that i like this way, though, and i think that other people can, too.

fibre i've dyed that i think is neat:

you can also dye yarn like this:

yes, i like blue a lot. i also really like variegation and heathering, which is why most of the fibre here has patches of white—it's an intentional choice that i've made. you can make different choices.

here is what you need to dye things:

fibre, vinegar, dye, a pot, heat, and some water.

that was so you don't get overwhelmed by the impending wall of text. here is what you need to dye things (it's the same stuff!), but with way more detail:

fibre or yarn. this is the big one, obviously. i tend to dye in 100-200 gram batches, because that's approximately what fits on my stovetop easily. if you're very nervous about felting or harming your fibre, you can use stuff that's been treated to be superwash, start with yarn (which is harder to felt than fibre is), or use a felt-resistant breed like dorset or suffolk. honestly, though, i learned with merino because that's what i had, and it was fine. again, though, this guide is only for protein fibres. it will not work for things like cotton. the only exception to this is nylon, which will take on some colour, but less than a protein fibre will.

a mordant. this is a fancy way of saying a thing that makes dye stick, and for what we're doing here, it's citric acid or vinegar. your grocery store definitely has at least one of them, though if you can choose, i prefer citric acid, because i love wet wool smell but i do not always love wet wool vinegar smell.

dye. i use acid dyes, and am personally deeply loyal to dharma acid dyes, but ashford and jacquard acid dyes work the same way. if you don't want to buy dye or don't have access to it, food colouring will often work, as well, though i haven't tried this with natural food colourings and have no idea how well they'll work.

a dedicated dye pot. ok, if you're doing food dyes, you don't need this. if you're not, it's definitely best practice, though i don't know how dangerous it is not to. any large metal pot will do, but my favourite option is hotel pans, which are those huge metal pan/tray things that hold food at buffets and the like. i have a full-size one that's 15cm deep, and a half-size one that's 4cm deep. they're great because they let you lay out the fibre you're working with so you can see most of it in a single layer.

dedicated dye utensils. as before, i don't know how much of a huge deal this is. i'll be honest and admit that for several years i had a single pair of tongs that got used for all tong-requiring events, including dyeing, and i'm still alive. i suggest that you have at least a big spoon, and a big spoon and tongs are even better.

something to mix the dye in. yeah, i use empty plastic sports drink or soda bottles for this. you can be fancy and get mason jars or little squirt bottles or whatever, and if you get super into dyeing you'll want to mix up dye stocks, but that's way outside the scope of what we're doing here. i like the powerade bottles that have a little squirty mouthpiece, because it's fun to squirt dye onto things.

personal protective equipment. i think this is the part of things that freaks people out. ideally, you wear plastic gloves and a mask (yeah, like your covid masks) when you're working with dye. realistically, i almost never remember to put on gloves and just accept that my hands are going to be blue sometimes. you should wear a mask, because dye is an irritant, but the world is an imperfect place and i have wicked bad adhd and sometimes i forget. this isn't advice. i'm just being honest. you should use some kind of safety stuff. you probably won't die if you don't.

you might also want some little random bits: an old toothbrush or paintbrush, a pipe cleaner, some toothpicks, etc. this is mostly if you like speckles, or if you want very small patches of colour.

so first: there are a million ways to dye things, and i'm not convinced that any of them are objectively correct. i do what i do and it works for me. some of the things i do are the opposite of what most guides suggest, but i do them because i like the effects they create.

ok, that's all the background stuff you need. let's dye some stuff!

the number one most important thing to remember when you're dyeing is this:

you can always add more colour. you cannot take it away.

that's in fancy writing and bold because every once in a while i forget this, and every single time i end up regretting it.

here is how to dye things:

put water, citric acid (or vinegar), and fibre into a pot. add dye and heat. let cool completely. rinse the fibre in cool water, then hang to dry.

like, sure, we're going to go into way more detail, but push come to shove, if you do that, you're going to end up with dyed fibre. there are a lot of tutorials telling you that you must soak your fibre first, or you must add your citric acid this way, or hold the water at exactly this temperature, and i'm here to tell you that while any of these things can give you different results, those results aren't necessarily better.

the only way that you can totally screw this up is by accidentally felting your fibre, so before i get into the way more detail part of things, i'm going to talk about that.

how not to felt your fibre

i feel like if you've read this far, you know how things felt: wool, heat, and agitation. you may also notice that at least two of these things are required for dyeing. this can be stressful! but you don't have to be afraid of it. there's only been one time that i felted something to the point that it was unusable, and that happened because i literally fell asleep for several hours while the pot was on the stove. you can avoid doing this by simply setting an alarm—this is a good idea anyhow, because you'll want to check on your dye pot!

when you're dyeing, use the lowest heat that you can while still keeping the water at a simmer. if your stove, like mine, has one burner that's wildly unpredictable and sort of out of control, you may want to look for some sort of flame diffuser, also called a flame tamer or a simmer ring. i bought one on amazon for about fourteen dollars, and it's literally just a thick metal circle. it works fine.

you can also keep the heat low by using a pot with a thick bottom, though in my experience those are expensive, and if i had one i would be using it for soup, not wool.

avoid shocking your wool��never put room temperature wool into hot water, and never put hot wool into cold water. leave your wool in the dye bath until it's cooled completely, which for me usually means overnight.

finally, obviously you have to move the fibre around some. you'll need to peek under it in the pan, and when you're done, you have to rinse it and squish out the water. try to minimise handling, though. don't run water directly onto the fibre, don't get a wooden spoon and stir your dye pot around, don't wring the fibre dry when it's done.

you're probably never going to be perfect. i often find that i lose a gram or two of wool where fibres have grabbed onto each other, or where parts of the ends clumped up. it's not really felted, just sort of compacted, but it's not great to work with, and i'd rather lose a gram of fibre than fuss with the clumpy bits.

back to how to dye things

let's take it step by step, assuming a hundred grams of fibre.

put your pan on the stove and fill it halfway with water. add either a teaspoon of citric acid or a tablespoon of vinegar. this is going to help the dye strike, or stick to the fibre. the teaspoon/tablespoon is a guideline, but one that it's fine to exceed. adding more will help the dye strike faster, which can be useful if you're trying to create blocks of colour on your fibre. i usually err on the side of a little more than the guidelines, and just eyeball this—if you feel like the dye isn't taking well, you can add more later.

add your fibre to the pan. this is the first place you have to think about what you want the finished fibre to look like! you can put it into the pan any way you want, but i suggest trying to keep it in a relatively even layer, regardless of what that layer looks like. here are some ways to get specific effects:

if you want a gradient from one end of the fibre to the other, use a rectangular pan and lay your fibre out so that the line of it is parallel to the short sides of the pan

if you want a short, repeating gradient, use a rectangular pan and lay your fibre out so that the line of it is parallel to the long sides of the pan

if you want something that starts with very close repeats that get further apart as you go down the fibre, make an approximate spiral

if you don't want A Pattern (i usually don't) just lay things out in a single layer, more or less

here comes the next exciting part! decide if you want to let your fibre soak or not. again, doing or not doing this gives you some different effects!

soaking your fibre will mean that dye takes more evenly. if you want consistent colours, you'll want to soak.

not soaking your fibre means that the dye takes less evenly. the fibre on top will have less acid available to it, spends less time in the dye bath, and also has to actually get wet before it will start to dye. i actually love doing this, and think it affords a lot of cool opportunities to play with and layer colours.

if you're soaking, leave the fibre there until it's submerged. if not, don't.

now you're going to add dye! decision time, again.

you can add dye when the water is cold, which will give you more even dye coverage, and in my experience gives the colours more time to mix together

you can add dye when when the water is hot, which will give you less even coverage, and tends to encourage the colours to stay more delineated

probably surprising no one, i tend to heat the water first unless i'm starting with a base colour or i'm doing a two-colour gradient.

time to mix up some dye

as i mentioned earlier, i'm assuming that you're using powered acid dyes for this. if you're not, this mixing up part is technically optional—but doing it gives you way more control about how and where you place your colours, so i'm going to assume that you'll do it.

i usually mix dye in some sort of empty drink bottle. regardless of what you're using, before you add dye to anything, put some water in the bottle, wipe off the lip, put the lid on tightly, and shake the bottle vigorously. if there is any leakage at all, do not use that bottle. find a better bottle. if your bottle cap doesn't seal well or if you have an empty condiment bottle that's just a little wonky or whatever, you will get dye all over the kitchen, and your landlord will be really really mad about it, and you will regret your life choices. (if you own your kitchen, you can do whatever you want, but this isn't about you and you know it.)

so you have a bottle that seals tightly! great job. dump out the water and carefully put some dye powder into the bottle. remember earlier how i said you should be wearing a mask? this is the part where you should be wearing a mask.

i know that people are reading this and going, ok, but how much dye do i put in?

my answer is put in the amount that feels right in your heart, and don't forget the number one rule of dyeing things, which is that you can always add more colour, but you cannot take it away.

this isn't a very scientific answer. most dyes have a guideline about how much to use, expressed as a percentage of the dry weight of the fibre, which is what you use to get the whole quantity of fibre dyed evenly. for dharma dyes, it's like 1.5-2%, i think ashford is 1%, and jacquard is more like 2-4%, depending on the colour.

here is the problems with doing that in your kitchen: first, using that much dye will get you an evenly dyed piece of fibre, which—for me, at least—is basically the opposite of what i want. second, and more importantly, unless you have one of those teeny tiny scales used by jewelers and drug dealers, your kitchen scale will not weigh out such tiny quantities with any accuracy. third, if you do it like this, you really have to plan what you're doing ahead of time, because there's a point after which no more dye will bind! the fibre will be like enough thank u that's it i'm good and that'll be it, so you lose some of your ability to decide that actually, you want more green.

you can probably guess, at this point, that i don't weigh the dye. once you've done a couple batches of fibre with a given brand of dye, you'll start to get the vibes for how much you should use. if you really want a guideline, for a hundred grams of fibre, start with a quarter teaspoon of a given colour. you can add more—either more of this colour or a different one—later, as desired.

put your dye in the empty bottle, and then fill the bottle partway with hot water. the amount of water doesn't really matter here, nor does the specific temperature of the water. i usually fill about 3/4 of the way, because that way there's plenty of room for this next step, which is: wipe the lip of the bottle, recap it tightly, and then shake it up real good. the dye powder is going to dissolve into the water, and you now have a bottle of dye!

if you're going for a gradient, you might want to mix up your second colour so you can add them at (basically) the same time for more even mixing. if you're not, or if you only have one mixing bottle, you can do them one at a time.

oh my god we're finally putting dye on the fibre

are you ready? it's time!!

you have basically infinite options for how to do this, and many of them will give you different effects. here are some ideas:

pour the dye all at one side of the pan. and if you don't add anything else, your fibre will fade from the colour of the dye to the natural colour of the fibre

pour two colours, one at either side of the pan. depending on how much dye you use (and remember, you can always add more), this will give you either chunks of colour surrounded by white, or a two-colour gradient

add all the dye to unheated water and mix it gently, then let the fibre soak for a few minutes longer before turning on the heat. this will give you a fairly even colour

pour randomly all over, and you'll either end up with a tonal yarn or a heathered one, depending on how much dye you're using

add the dye to the water under the dry fibre, which will sink in and take up more dye on the bottom of the fibre than the top

if your heat wasn't on before, it should be now, and you're going to let the dye hang out in the hot but not boiling water for a while. how long? well, one of the cool things about dyeing with these dyes is that they exhaust, which means that when the dye has been sucked up by the fibre, the surrounding water will be clear. how long this takes will depend on the specific dye, how much of it you used, how much mordant you used, etc. i try to check every fifteen minutes.

reminder: if you started with room temperature water, the dye's not going to start taking until the water heats up, so don't check it after fifteen minutes and freak out that nothing has happened. it is fully normal for it to take up to an hour for the dye to exhaust. don't turn up the temperature, just give it time.

yay it worked!

at this point, you have a pot of hot water with some beautifully coloured fibre in it! but maybe it's not beautiful enough. maybe you want...more colours.

that's cool as hell and you should go for it. we mentioned two-colour gradients up there, but what if you want something else?

the answer, probably obviously, is adding more dye.

first, a caveat: while you can successfully make multicoloured gradients like this, it's more difficult than you think, and if it gets messed up—all the colours bleed into each other, say—it turns into a muddy mess. my suggestion is to stick to two (or three at most!) colour gradients until you have a much better feel for what you're doing.

let's talk about ways you can add more colour. you have two options: big colour and little colour.

big colour is going to add a lot of colour—you're going to mix up the dye and pour it just like you did before, but paying more attention to places that don't have dye yet. sometimes it's the middle of a gradient, or the white splotches from random pouring, or the half of the fibre that wasn't submerged when you started. or maybe you dyed the whole thing yellow, and now you want to add a blue gradient over top. whatever!

if you don't want to freehand pour, consider buying a couple large syringes, or a bottle with a squeezy top. these are also fun because you can easily get more colour between the laid-out fibre, or even under it.

in the pictures at the start of this post, the red-and-gold top and both yarns were dyed by adding big colour.

little colour isn't going to add big patches, but is going to add speckling, tonal depth, or smaller patches of colour. all of the blue-base fibres and the yellow-and-blue yarn were dyed like this.

if you're still reading this closely, you might have caught that i just said both yarns were dyed with big colour, and that the yellow-and-blue yarn was also dyed with little colour. these are both true! the base colours of the yarn were done to make big colour, but if you look at the full-size image, there are also a bunch of speckles. you can do whatever you want! no one can stop you!

here are some ways to add little colour:

mix up some dye, but use less water. add drops of the dye, either directly onto the fibre (more dramatic!) or in the water (tonal!)

use a toothpick to grab a little bit of dye powder and drop it into the dye bath (similar to the previous one, but a little less predictable)

put on a damn facemask. take a clean toothbrush, paintbrush, or pipecleaner, and just barely touch it to the dye powder. gently flick or tap the brush to add speckles of that colour

find a salt shaker that you're never going to use for anything but this. put citric acid, salt (to make it distribute better), and dye powder into it, and shake it up (with the holes covered, please cover the holes) to make sure they're evenly distributed. gently shake this over the fibre to add speckles, but more of them, and clustered together

put a little dye in a spray bottle and gently mist the exposed fibre, kinda glazing it with colour

another thing is that if you like a natural coloured yarn with dyed speckles, you can do any of these techniques without doing big colour first. the only thing to note when doing this is that you'll want to be very sure to spread out the fibre well, and maybe to consider dyeing one side, then very very carefully flipping it over and getting the other side.

ok, now what?

let's say that you've added all the colours that you want, and you've let your bath simmer long enough that the water is clear, or nearly clear. (if it's not, check troubleshooting, below.)

put the lid on your pan and walk away. if you don't have a lid, just walk away, but it's less dramatic.

the super frustrating part here is that the safest thing to do is wait until the water and fibre is fully cooled before you do anything else.

have i ignored this? yes

has it ever gone horribly wrong? not horribly wrong, but it's definitely caused me to lose an inch or two of roving on occasion

is it way more stressful if you don't wait? absolutely yes

honestly maybe just go to bed and deal with your fibre in the morning

so now let's say that it's morning and you slept long enough that your water and fibre are both room temperature, which often actually feels quite cool on your hands.

you have to drain your fibre. there are two ways to do this:

lift the fibre out of the water. this has the upside of not risking dumping your beautiful fibre into your sink, and not needing to maneuver a full pot of water, both of which are admirable. the downside is that wet fibre is fragile, and you'll want to be careful to support it.

dump the water out of the pan. this has the upside of minimising how much handling you're doing of the fibre, as well as (in my opinion) making rinsing easier. the downside is attempting to keep the fibre into the pot while you dump the water into the sink, and also needing to carry around a full pot of water.

secret third option: dump the fibre (and the water) into a strainer. upside: very easy, and you can keep the fibre in the strainer while you rinse, minimising both how much it needs to be handled and the weight on the fibre. downside: i never remember that this is an option until i'm already elbows-deep in acidulated water, discovering every tiny cuticle tear.

you're going to fill your dyepot with water again so that you can rinse the fibre. you want to minimise thermal shock, so keep the water temperature as close to the temperature of the fibre as you can, and don't run the water directly onto the fibre. i like to pull all the fibre to one side of the pan, and fill the pan on the other side.

side note: if you, smart person, remembered that you can use a colander, simply fill a pot with water, put the colander in the pot, and gently agitate the colander.

if you, person who is deeply relatable, did not remember you can use a colander and now have a pot with clean water and fibre, gently move your fibre in the water to encourage any excess dye and also citric acid to get out of there.

drain your fibre again, and this time, you're going to squeeze it dry. you're still trying to minimise agitation, so this isn't a 'wring it out' situation, it's a 'gently squish it between your hands and/or a hand and the side of the pot' situation.

hang your fibre to dry. remember what i was saying earlier about it being fragile? let me suggest, here, that you do not simply drape the entire length over a single hanger or something and hope for the best. if you literally have a single hanger, at least drape it back and forth a bit, but better if you can use more than one hanger, or a clothes drying rack, or that weird metal wine rack thing that came with your fridge that you've never used, or whatever.

important reminder: drip-drying things will make your floor wet! if you live somewhere very clear with no major roads or pollen nearby, you can probably dry things outside, but if you don't, you'll probably want to position the drying rack in a bath, shower, laundry area, or otherwise over something that will catch and/or absorb the water.

how long it takes for the fibre to dry is another unknowable variable. if it's warm and dry where you are, it might literally be overnight. if it's damp and cool, it can take days. the batch i posted a couple days ago literally took almost a full week to dry. spread it out as best you can, gently squeeze out the water you can, and otherwise you just have to wait.

you're done!

when it's dry, that's it, you're done! you might find that you need to pick off some little lint balls or a bit of compacted or slightly felted fibre from the tips, but other than that, you should be good to go.

like most fibre stuff, this is best maintained by handwashing in cool water. you may see a little bit of dye or colour loss the first time you wash it, which is pretty normal and nothing to worry about.

congratulations! you made it to the end of this incredibly long post, and if you followed along, you've just dyed some fibre!

troubleshooting

this isn't dyed enough! i want more colours!

add more dye! i'm not the boss of you.

this is true even after the fibre is all done and dryed. there's nothing that says you can't dye it again—you can, and i have.

some fibre seems to require more dye than others. silk, for example, dyes beautifully with acid dyes, but also needs way more dye than i expect it to.

remember that if you're dyeing something that's a wool/cotton blend, for example, the cotton isn't going to dye. the only exception is nylon, which will kinda dye, but not as dramatically. this guide will not work for plant fibres.

this is too dyed! i want fewer colours!

please refer back to the number one most important thing about dyeing, which—as you know—is: you can always add more colour, but you cannot take it away.

pull out some more fibre and try again. this has a learning curve, just like any other fibre craft.

these colours don't look like i expected!

this can be about a lot of things.

colour guides, especially if you're looking at them online, aren't always very accurate.

colour guides tend to assume that you're dyeing a single colour at the suggested dye percentage of weight, and using less than that will give paler colours.

dyes, especially if you're mixing brands, can interact with each other and behave in ways you didn't expect.

dyes can also break, which is when they split into their component colour molecules. this happens commonly with blacks and browns, food colouring, and anything that dharma trading has marked as 'advanced'. some people find this very desirable and seek it out; some people are very frustrated by it.

the ph of your water can sometimes affect your dye. i've been lucky enough that i've only lived places with lead problems, not weird ph stuff, so i haven't investigated this closely, but if you're consistently not getting the results you expect, even going for a single, solid-colour dye, look at the ph.

my dye water's not clear!

if you used a quarter teaspoon of dye and a hundred grams of fibre, and it's been, say, 45 minutes of actually hot water and your water still isn't clear, you probably didn't use enough mordant, and you should add some more citric acid or vinegar to encourage the dye to get in there and do its thing.

if you used you used more like a teaspoon of dye, or if the citric acid doesn't change anything, you used too much dye for your fibre. you can either shrug and pour it down the drain, or you can add some more fibre and dye that, too.

my rinse water's not clear!

you probably used too much dye. it's ok—just keep rinsing it, gently, until it's more or less clear.

some colours just like to run—you know how every once in a while you get a yarn and it just bleeds a little bit every time you wash it? sometimes it's just like that. i wouldn't worry about it too much.

my fibre has felty/clumpy bits!

a little bit of this is normal, especially at the ends of a fibre that felts easily (this means you, merino!)

pick off the bits that you don't like—this is generally fairly easy, and involves very minimal fibre loss. i don't bother doing it until i sit down to spin, and then just pull off bits as i come to them.

if there's a lot of felty/clumpy bits, more than you can reasonably pick out, you agitated the fibre too much. there's not much for this other than trying to card it out, which may or may not work.

sometimes this happens because your stove got weirdly aggressive and boiled your fibre. especially for wool that's prone to felting, the bubbling and jostling can be enough to encourage more clinginess than you'd like.

i want my dyeing to be reproducible!

this is kinda doable. it's a handmade thing, so it's always going to have some natural variance, but you can do it.

buy a jeweler's scale that measures in fractions of a gram.

start measuring your dye and acid, and take detailed notes about what you do.

follow those notes in the future, and you'll be probably 90% of the way there.

i want to dye with natural dyes!

i fully support this and have played around with it a little bit myself, but absolutely do not know enough about it to advise you.

the internet is very large and full of many people who are much smarter than i am, and i feel confident that at least one of them is desperate to tell you all about how to do natural dyeing.

i am, at this point, not that person.

i want to dye plant fibres!

i am begging you to find another guide, because this one will not work.

you didn't answer my question!

that's what my inbox is for

i have to reiterate that i'm just a person with real specific interests who started dyeing things because i couldn't find or afford the kinds of colourways that i wanted.

i am not a professional

i will do my best to answer questions, but sometimes the answer is 'just fuck around until you find out'

plant fi—

shhhhh

the end

thank you for reading this incredibly long post! i might make another one in the near future, either so i can show pictures or because i took out an entire section about how to choose colours and pick a colour scheme and work with colours, and i kinda want to talk more about that, but this is no joke almost six thousand words long, so i thought, you know. maybe not tonight.

anyhow, i hope that this was useful to someone! thank you for letting me talk about one of my very favourite things.

[velvetvexations]

I think it's interesting that the trans women who adamantly deny male socialization mostly talk about experiencing dysphoria, or not liking male expectations. Like it's fine that the word is poisoned for them and they dont want to engage with it but they are objectively just not engaging with what it means to be socialized. For me, female socialization was growing up and seeing my female family members be expected to cook/clean at family events, seeing my male relatives get straight up drunk and watch movies that my grandma asked them not to (she doesnt like hearing violent movies), and being judged for not helping with cleanup. Now I do help, mostly because I feel bad seeing my grandma struggle with it, but there's so much dysphoria that comes with it because I know that if I was a Man Raised Man or whatever the fuck I wouldnt have this expectation and it probably wouldnt even occur to me (my little brother doesnt lol). I think trans women actually do, even pre transition, have a more complicated relationship with these sorts of things than a cis man would but like, idk, how many trans women were as children raised to believe theyre terrible and evil for not wanting to clean up after their male relatives, and told that the best outcome they can expect from life is to do this labor for many kids and grandkids and when they die, they'll be remembered as "nice" and "a good mother". Now I'll be remembered as a bad child and fundamentally unnatural. And thats not to say trans women dont face gendered abuse as kids but I think it is different and a lot are viewed as like, freaks for maybe wanting to help in the kitchen instead of chillin with the Boys™. And many also wrestle with like, wanting to be perceived as a woman but not wanting to have to be the free maid service. I have to wrestle with not wanting to abandon all the work to my female relatives but also not wanting to be the maid and also knowing that the more I help the more I'm viewed as female. I guess this got rambley but I just want it to be clear that I do think transfems have interactions with socialization that are unique to them, as do transmascs, and individual cis people, etc, but its weird to insist that the closeted transfem experience is basically the cis girl experience plus being treated as an undesirable third gender, and that transmascs have a better childhood experience than cis women.

Soul-gender. Everyone recognizes someone is really a girl from birth but says they're a boy out of sheer meanness.

And yes, they very deliberately talk past what people are actually saying about socialization to take "trans women are generally expected to grow up as boys" to mean "and that means they've programmed to be Evil" because that's how TERFs use it. Meanwhile they fully accuse transmasc and non-binary people of having one single default experience during childhood that's made them all hate trans women to the point of needing to start a brand new separatist movement over it.