#i'll always have something new to play around with depending on what i'm in the mood for

[thosegothsims]

soooooo as per this post i decided to try playing around with the idea of starting to play with that whole "my version of the not so berry challenge" idea by making a sim and playing for a couple of in-game days and ohhhh i am OBSESSED with this sim rn

[cherryheairt]

Dragon Dreamer pt. V

sorry for the wait, I'm trying to do a mix of longer and shorter chaps depending on how much time I have. Love yall 🩷

tags- @beebeechaos @hueanhdang @emery-aka-emmy @r-3dlips @watermel0nsugarhigh @delaynew

cw- blood, death

"I'll find her." Cregan promised the she-dragon, not stopping to wonder if it understood his common tongue.

He sat upon Red's saddle, looking out into the dim forest. He prayed of the old Gods that she was only lost.

🗡

Daenys had yet to find her mysterious calling. It wasn't a voice or a message, but a persistent tug in the forefront of her unconscious mind. The snow seemed to fall harder the deeper she continued into the forest. She was unsure which way she had come from, but knew it didn't matter now.

White fortresses of snow grew all around her, trapping her from going any other direction. Squinting, she could barely make out a few feet in front of her face. This must be some cruel game the gods were playing, toying with the Princess before leading her to her doom. Perhaps a frozen lake would be fitting. She wouldn't even know that she was standing in the middle of one until she was frozen in the icy depths.

Or mayhaps a cliff so monstrous that the jagged edges left nothing of her mortal body left behind. Whatever it was, Daenys just wished she would reach it already. Now that she was wide-awake, the cold was getting to her, mentally and physically. Even the well-suited fur dress was not enough to keep her alive forever. She needed fire, warmth.

And what of her most recent vision? Tame in nature, but harrowing to her poor heart nonetheless. Daenys had never seen Rhaenyra so undignified before, flying on Syrax in a dirty, worn dress and covered in soot and sand. Her hair was in a loose braid, clearly one meant for sleep and not council duties. She was searching for something that no one else could find. A dragon, perhaps? Maybe Seasmoke had become active again after his depressive state from Laenor's passing. The grey dragon had always liked Rhaenyra. The married couple often rode their dragons together to spend time away from King's Landing. Daenys was sure it would obey her still.

But that look on her face. The same one she wore after returning from her birthing room, without baby Visenya in her arms. Puffy face, red eyes, downtrodded posture unbefitting of the new Queen. It was all the same in her dream, maybe even worse. Daenys was glad that her mother was with Syrax, for the she dragon would keep her safe no matter what.

She smiled slightly at the remembrance of Syrax, the princess dragoness. Though Morningstar was not born from Syrax's clutch, the two had bonded as if they were truly kin. Daenys had even commissioned an iron star-shaped chain to be the dragonsaddle's chestpiece. Rhaenyra had given Syrax a similar heart-shaped chestpiece in her youth and was happy to see the white dragon doning a matching article.

Daenys suddenly felt a pang in her heart, clutching the star necklace hanging at her neck. Guilty ate at her for leaving her loyal dragon behind. She missed her warmth.

She missed Cregan's, too.

She longed for either's protective embrace in this desolate wood.

"Find me," she whispered to the nothingness. The air seemed to still, freezing Daenys in place. She listened for something, anything. She no longer felt the incessant tug. Her mind cleared.

A crunch of snow was her answer.

But Daenys hadn't moved an inch.

"Cregan?" She asked, louder. "Are you here?"

No answer but the one in the wind, like a solemn wolf's howl.

Another crunch. Another step. Cregan would've answered her by now, surely. He was not one for callous pranks or jests. Daenys wasn't alone anymore. Was this the destination? Her mind's call? Would it be a wise seer, or a vessel sent by the gods to deliver a message? Swallowing, she hoped that the entity was merciful.

A low growl answered her desperate wishes.

A wolf.

Not Dusk.

Shit.

Daenys stilled her breaths, bracing her legs into the snow. What does a weaponless person do in the face of a predator? She'd never been taught such survival methods. The Red Keep's wildlife consisted of garden rabbits and squirrels, and Dragonstone had naught but sea creatures and crabs at its disposal.

Her eyes caught the slow movement of the creatures paw, striking dread straight into her heart. The form was smaller than Dusk, by a lot. Direwolves had a size no natural animal compared to. But this one seemed smaller than an average wolf, too. Perhaps a wolf in its teen years, just recently leaving its pack to stake his place in the world.

It was a slim thing, thick coat not enough to hide its ribs. Poor thing. It was starving, clearly. Daenys would have the heart to help it if only she wasn't the current prey he had in mind.

It was survival of the fittest in this world, after all. A dragon and a wolf. Any person with common sense would declare the dragon the victor before the fight could even start. But what was the blood of the dragon without the dragon? Daenys began to wonder if there was anything special about the Targaryens besides their dragons. They gained no special traits. No endurance, strength, speed. Without Morningstar, was Daenys worthy of her namesake? Lightbringer, the realm lovingly called the beast. Fearsome and powerful, a shame that the dragon will never be given glory like other dragons of history.

The dragon wouldn't be winning wars, protecting Westeros, or even stationed at a House to guard. All because of the rider she was bestowed.

A wolf does not care for blood.

They stared at each other, neither blinking nor moving.

Run or fight.

Run or fight?

Her only two options, and both would lead to her death. It wasn't nearly as merciful and quick as a frozen lake or a jagged cliff would be. No, she would be torn apart kicking and screaming.

If she charged it, would it run or have the courage to meet her head on? No, it would not back down. A starving dog hunts best. A starving wolf cannot risk failure.

What would Rhaenyra do? What would Daemon do?

Rhaenyra might stand her ground, ever the Dragon Queen she was. Mighty and proud, though she wielded no sword or plated armor.

Daemon wouldn't hesitate, drawing Dark Sister from its sheathe, beheading the wolf with a triumphant laugh.

Daenys was neither her mother nor her step-father, though she wished futility to be an image of them.

Cregan? Perhaps he would tame yet another wolf, seeing as he clearly had an affinity.

What would a northerner like Cregan Stark do in the face of a wild wolf? Unarmed, unshielded. Pray? Take the death as the will of the Gods? Maybe.

Daenys Velayron was far from a northerner. Fire and blood hot through her veins, not ice or faith. The way of the dragon was to be unchained, forever standing tall above the realm.

Though, wild animals have no reason to care for heritage or blood. The meat on her bones was all it could see.

A wolf does not care for blood.

Daenys exhaled, long and slow. Run or fight. Fighting a starved wolf meant death, instantly. Running gave her a chance at finding a tree or rock to climb–anything to get her a vantage point.

The choice was clear.

She just needed to act.

To turn your back on a predator was to sign your own life away.

Daenys, ever so slow, unbuckled her fur coat from her shoulders. The grey wolf eyed it, snarling. Its yellow eyes grew brighter, like two harvest moons shining against the fallen snow.

Daenys mustered up all the courage she could manage, heart pounding, throwing the fur coat across the distance to the wolf. Immediately, it took it in its maw and ripped its head back and forth wildly. If it were a hot-blooded prey, the coat would be dead with blood spattered all over the snow.

Daenys ran, wasting no time watching the display.

She hoped to blind it temporarily, but it catching the furs was a better outcome than missing entirely.

She panted, adrenaline coursing through her to give warmth and strength to her limbs. They burned with the sudden exertion. Daenys could hear the wolf throwing the fur away, not being able to gather any sustenance from the useless garb.

It barked frustratedly at her disappearance from his sight, quickly giving chase to the girl.

Daenys could only hear her heart beat out of her chest and the sounds of the snarling chasing her, closer every second. Her eyes flew around wildly, hoping to spot a low-hanging but sturdy branch. Kind of difficult when running at full speed. Screeching at a bite nipping at her heels, she jumped to the nearest branch she could reach, not having any time left to search. Daenys managed to pull half of her body over it before the wolf's teeth were on her skirts, tugging violently.

She cried out as she hit the cold floor, winded from the wall. The wolf planted itself over her, leaving no room for escape, nipping at her face. Her arm instinctively flew to protect her throat and face, resulting in the wolf's jaw clamping right down on her forearm. She screamed in agony, flames of pain running through her arm. She kicked at its flank while it snarled deep and heavily, salivating through her arm. The blood and saliva from her arm dripped down hot streaks to her face, blinding her.

When the wolf let go of her arm, bracing to go for more vital parts of her to end her squirming, Daenys accepted her fate. The kicks had done nothing. It hadn't moved an inch nor showed signs of pain. At least her death wouldn't be completely useless. The wolf would be fed, for perhaps a few weeks until it could find another easy prey.

Above her, the yellow eyes were lit with hungry and drive.

Daenys closed her eyes tight, hoping for the end to be swift.

But, she did not feel the jaws of death.

She felt the hot sting of blood being poored onto her exposed skin. She shot up, feeling the head of the wolf fall onto her chest. In a horrific pool of blood and bone, the wolf's head went to her lap as she sat up. Daenys froze, chest heaving with panicked breaths. She wanted to toss the head off of her, throw up, and cry all at once. But she was frozen with shock.

"Is that you, Princess?"

That was not Cregan.

Daenys lifted her gaze from the head to the voice. A man, tall and sharply built, dressed in all black. Perhaps close to Daemon's age, with a salt-and-peppered black beard and hair.

She could only stare at him, eyes wide with terror and adrenaline leaving her body. The pain in her arm was flaring, only growing as it bled onto the snow. It could hardlt be called snow anymore, the radious around Daenys was pure blood red, including herself. Her hair was dyed red, too, sullying into her usually perfect white. She was sure she would never feel clean again, that the hot blood would remain on her forever.

"My lady, focus on me." His words were stern as he knelt to meet the Princess, a hand on her face.

She listened, looking into his crystaline blue eyes. A northerner, he must be, born and raised. "...Ser?" She whispered, hoarse.

He nodded, focusing her face to his and not letting her gaze drift. "Where are you, Princess?"

The question startled her from despondency, confused. "Where am I? The North?" She asked.

He chuckled at her bemusement. "Aye, lass. Very good. What's your name?"

She felt annoyed suddenly, this man was asking very stupid and obvious questions. He called her Princess, he must know the answer. "Daenys Velayron. Who are you?"

"The man who saved your life. You're very welcome, by the way." He smirked crookedly, chortling when she only narrowed her eyes.

"Seamus Knott, at your service, My Lady. I am sworn to the Wall, though, so I am no Ser." He bowed dramatically, though his bitter smile showed his discontent with his position. Perhaps he was sent to the wall in a way he deemed unjustified. Whatever the reason was, Daenys did not want to be alone with him for long. The Night's Watch was loyal to the crown in respect only. She was content to visit, but only because Cregan would be there to look after her. Theives and rapers were a majority of the Watch, Daenys did not want to take any chances with them.

"Why are you so far from the wall, Seamus?" Daenys asked him, still sitting lamely in her spot.

He raised a brow, "why are you so far from your protector?"

She bristled, curling in on herself protectively. Had he been following them? For how long?

Seeing her demeanor shift, Seamus raised his hands in a show of surrender. "Not like that, your highness. I was simply speculating. A princess so far in the North hasnt happened in a century. You are news to us all. At Castle Black, we were informed that you would be arriving with Lord Stark soon."

It did make sense. Though, only three days had passed since they left–

"Step away from the Princess." A voice growled behind the Knott man. Daenys perked up at the sound, the familiar tone putting her heart and mind finally at ease. Ice was held straight to the back of his neck, a perfect extension of the Lord's arm.

Cregan stood tall and firm with his expression almost unreadable. Would he be angry with her for her recklessness, send her back to Dragonstone? Or perhaps he was more angry with the Night's Watch for spilling private information to all the residents.

"Cregan!" She gasped, trying to stand to her feet but was stopped by a wave of vertigo. Her feet were like water, unable to hold up any weight. She held her head with her uninjured hand, cradling the pain.

Cregan glanced at her briefly, brow furrowing at the state of her, before he stepped closer to Seamus. The tip was a mere inch away from the man's stubbled neck, though the older man paid it no mind. Grinning, "I saved the poor maiden, she'd be dead by now if I 'aden't. Where were you, Stark?"

Cregan's jaw ticked, "How did you find her? We're too far from any houses for this to be considered a mere coincidence." Clearly, he was ignoring the man's words. Probably because he was right. The blood had long cooled in on top of her, leaving the liquid to intensify her shivering.

Seamus looked down at him over his narrow nose, arrogantly sizing the lord up. His blood-covered steel sword was still at his side, clenched around a gloved fist. "I have been summoned weeks ago to head the beckoning of Lord Tully. I received a raven from Castle Black's Commander only a few days ago, informing me of the Warden escorting the Princess to the Wall. I merely wished to ensure our Princess' safety."

Cregan was unmoved. "I can handle that perfectly well. She is under my protection, my watch."

"Your watch hasn't even begun, Stark. You have no idea what it means to serve the wall. Sitting pretty in Winterfell while we work thanklessly for our keep." Seamus sneered, nasty expression twisting his uncomely features.

"Who's fault is that, Knott?" Cregan bit back. Daenys was left confused at their familiarity. Did they know each other?

Seamus' grip on his sword tightened, the leathery squeeze ringing in Daenys' ears unpleasantly. Her ears rang harshly, blood rushing to her head and drowning other sounds out. About to vomit her rabbit up or faint, she did not know. Dusk, who had been loyally by Cregan's legs, now moved to Daenys' side at the flick of his owner's wrist. She placed an unsteady hand on his brown shoulder, allowing him to take her weight as she leaned into his warmth. He wasn't quite as comforting as Cregan had been, but the relief was nice.

Dusk huffed into her ear, though he still stared up at Seamus the whole time. When Daenys fell asleep, the sound of steel sheathing filled her muffled ears.

🗡

She awoke to a weight over her body, bundled like a blanket. The strong scent of iron and wood filled her nose and surrounded her entirely. She opened her eyes to see Cregan at her side, under the cover of a tent. Looking around, she spotted none of her belongings. His tent. He crouched on his knee, tenderly wiping at her wound with a wet cloth. While he was deep in concentration, his brows knit together tightly, a frown dragging his handsome face down.

"Cregan?" He lifted his head to face her, turning his attention from her arm.

He smiled tightly at her, clearly still bothered by something. "My Lady, I'm glad to see you awake." Cregan told her earnestly.

Daenys sat up with his help, allowing his arm to linger at her back. "What happened to Seamus?"

Clenching his teeth, Cregan fought the urge to roll his eyes childishly. "Outside. Dusk is watching over him. I had to tend to you before I deal with him."

She kissed her teeth when she felt the sting of her arm come back. The wound was clean, though deep and raised. It would scar her for the rest of her life, a painful reminder of her dreadful night.

Cregan, noticing her downturned face, lifted her chin to look up at him instead. "It is a warrior's scar, Princess. We have that in common." He smiled more genuinely now as he lifted his sleeve to reveal his bicep, raised slightly with an old white scar, one that mirrored hers.

"Dusk bit you?" She gasped, brushing her fingertips over the scar. Gingerly, as if she thought it would still hurt him.

He chuckled fondly, watching her eyes rack over the scar. "When we first met. I was six and ten when I first became Lord of Winterfell. I was forced to imprison my uncle and his sons that day to take my place. I left for a solo hunt to be alone for a while.

He found me first. The size of a normal young wolf. We were hunting the same dear when I shot it down first. Dusk didn't take to kindly to that," He gestured to the teeth marks. "But I won that fight, gave him a scar to match. He's stayed by my side ever since." Cregan left out the part where he discovered his soul bonded to Dusk's, due to him being able to warg.

Daenys smiled, moving her hand away from his arm. "I'm glad I didn't have to fight Morningstar to get her to obey me." She laughed. Cregan laughed along, white teeth glinting in the light.

Cregan survived a direwolf attack all on his own when he was but a young man. Daenys would have died without assistance against her attacker when she was a woman grown. Clenching her jaw, she started, "I'm sorry for leaving last night. I...wish I could tell you my reasoning, but I don't know myself."

He took her face in his hand, inspecting it long and hard. Her violet eyes were half-lidded, a sign of her exhaustion. They still shined brightly in the day's light like they always did. Two perfect amethysts looking straight at him.

"You did nothing wrong, sweet girl." Cregan's thumb brushed the apple of her cheek, rubbing at the clear skin. She now noticed the feeling of the sticky blood was gone almost entirely, except from her dress. He had washed it all off of her in her unconsciousness. "You couldn't stop it, could you?"

Like he knew everything, Cregan seemed to hold all the wisdom in the world. Perhaps that was the result of being a Lord at six and ten. "I stopped walking when the wolf came." Daenys nodded.

He kept his hand in its place while he took a moment to think. "I should've been there, It's my duty to keep you safe, and I failed. Seamus is right, the creatin he is. If he hadn't come first, you wouldn't have come home to the Queen."

She smiled crookedly, telling him she was not upset. "From now on, I must insist." He focused entirely on her, making her face feel hot from the intensity. "You be with me at all times. In my tent, hunting with me, Hells, even on horseback with me if that's what it takes to keep you safe."

"I do not wish to be your burden, My Lord."

"I wish it," He shook his head, a secret pang in his heart that she hadn't called him by his name again.

"Even while you hunt? I am not quite as stealthy as you, I would just scare everything away."

"I will teach you." Cregan said firmly, leaving no further room for arguments. "We will stay in larger clearings from now on, even if it means walking greater distances. I want Morningstar to be with us as we sleep. I do not trust Knott."

"Speaking of," she started, tentatively. "How do you know him?"

He sighed deeply, reaching into his satchel bag to grab a roll of bandage. While he worked on wrapping her arm, he spoke. "My father and him grew up together. His brother, the Knott heir, warded with my father for some time to learn his Lordly duties. Seamus just tagged along because his father wished to be rid of him. He was a jealous, spiteful person even as a boy. When their father passed, he left everything to his rightful heir Kent.

Seamus killed him when he had not even been Lord for a year. He was sent to the Night's Watch by my father, a worse punishment than death for a man who only cares for titles and power. In the Watch, all brothers are equal."

"I do not want to kill him because he saved your life. I also do not want him anywhere near you." Cregan grit his teeth, frustrated at his torn opinions. He owed the man what he asked of, which was simply to accompany Cregan and Daenys to the Wall. Cregan cursed himself for his own honor, the Lord of Winterfell always kept his word.

"I promise, if he does anything, anything, to make you uncomfortable, I will take care of him." Cregan told her, earning a short nod from the Princess.

He stood, bandage firmly in place, helping her up with a sturdy hand. "Change your dress and wash up, then I will bring you hunting." It was too early to allow her to sleep, he wanted her to sleep tonight so that they may only travel during the day. They had completely lost this day thanks for the circumstances, and he wanted to spend the remaining time doing something useful. Also, he wanted to keep his mind of maiming Seamus where he stood.

While Daenys changed, she grimaced at the sight of blood that had made it way further down her dress. The garment was not fixable without a miracle, so she left it outside of the tent for Dusk to use as a temporary bed. Less weight for Mylo to carry, she supposed. Daenys scrubbed the dried blood from her neck and chest, not yet able to clean out her hair. That would take running water, not a damp cloth.

Stepping outside, she doned a new white dress, lined with grey fur. The sight of grey reminded her of the young wolf, filling her heart with guilt. She hoped he hadn't felt fear or pain in his quick end. She was met with Seamus, standing a few yards away from her tent. He wore a wild and proud grin, baring his teeth to her.

"Princess! You're awake, how delightful." She nodded her greeting stiffly. "I have a gift for you to take home, a proper warrior's trophy for the Queen." He presented the wolf's head from a bag attached to his belt, its yellow eyes still wide open, but holding none of its previous hunger. Daenys gasped in horror, bringing a hand to her neck. Cregan, who'd been waiting near the edge of camp for her, strided forward.

"Is this a cruel joke on your Princess, Knott?" He began, hand hovering over Ice. Before Seamus or Cregan could begin to argue again, Daenys rushed forward to take the pup's head in her hands. Both men stared at her in surprise.

Without saying a word, though she had many specific words for the brute, she gently held the wolf's severed head as she brought it to Morningstar, who had been laying in the edge of the clearing. She looked grumpy already, perhaps because of the direwolve's irritating presence, but purred when she saw Daenys finally coming to her. Daenys sat the head gently in front of the dragon's head, "Daor havor."

"Dracarys." Daenys commanded the mighty dragon, stepping back many paces. The three people, and the curious direwolf, watched on as the dragon scorched the head until it was naught but ash. The snow around the head had melted to reveal black burnt ground. Silence filled the campground. Daenys bowed her head, whispering to herself. "Kostagon aōha iemny sagon forever lēda sir"

She turned to look up at Seamus, who had a strange look on his face. "That was a cruel thing to do, ser. Not to me, but to the poor animal who lost it's life to starvation."

Seamus clenched his jaw at the scorning, never having been told off by a girl, much less a younger one. "Aye, Princess." Was all he said, trodding off to sulk in his own small tent.

Daenys looked to Cregan, who smiled softly at her. "That was kind of you, my Lady."

She thanked him, "could we find a river before our hunt? I wish to rid my hair of this blood before it becomes permanently red."

He laughed jovially, agreeing. "I do not think red hair would fit you. White is your color." He gestured towards her dress, then to her dragon, making her grin warmly.

🗡

Cregan led her to the nearest water source he could find, merely a small stream, but it would work just fine. Politely, Cregan turned away, although she wasn't taking any garments off. She snickered to herself at his chivalrous attitude, refusing to watch a lady wash her own hair. It took a lot of scrubbing and numb fingers before she was finally content, seeing no more red wash out.

"How does this look?" She asked the man behind her, who turned to inspect her. Wet hair still dripping onto her furs, she looked as lovely and youthful as ever. Her hair seemed longer, curls not yet bunching it up. "Beautiful, my Lady." He offered her a hand. Daenys hoped that her cheeks were not visibly red at the simple compliment as she was lifted by Cregan.

He smiled that secretive grin once again, walking ahead of her. "We will set a snare up first. Then, I'll teach you how to make a kill."

Daenys swallowed harshly. The last thing she wanted to do was kill another animal. She knew it was necessary, though. The Gods would not be spiteful for Daenys filling her stomach.

She followed Cregan into the denser part of the woods, carefully stepping in every place he did. After a while of her silence, he glanced behind himself with a concerned look, only to stifle a laugh at her delicate tiptoeing. He shook his head good-naturedly, grateful that she was trying.

Daenys watched him carefully set up a snare with the coil of metal wire in his pocket. They both crouched over it, leaving it in by a rabbithole before moving on to set another. This time, Cregan gently instructed her to do her own. It took a while, almost thrice the time he took, but he never got impaitient with her. Finally, she set the wire to the sticks coming out of the snow, triumphantly looking to Cregan for approval. "You're a natural born hunter, Princess." He declared, watching her smile with pride.

The two sat far from their many snares for hours, sitting against a sturdy pine. No words were needed as they kept a comfortable silence between them, Daenys finding herself struggling to stay awake with the peaceful atmosphere. Cregan glanced to her from her side, placing a hand over hers. He traced symbols, cracked joints, and tapped their fingers together rhymically to a pattern she followed by doing the same back to him. The focus kept her awake, her mind on the new task.

As the sun was near setting, Cregan led her to his snares first, picking up two rabbits and his wires. He whispered Northern words of respect for the animal before swiftly stabbing it in the heart. They inspected Daenys' next, finding one rabbit struggling in it. She hesitated to step forward, only urged on by Cregan. "Here," he handed her his dagger, a fine piece of steel that had a direwolf's head placed on the pommel. She kneeled next to the rabbit, thanking it quietly for its sacrifice. She took a deep breath it, releasing it as she stabbed into the white chest. Daenys paused a moment, grimacing. Blood stained her leather gloves, another reminder of the wolf. He would haunt her forever, it seemed. She clutched the rabbit gently in her arms, holding it like she held baby Aegon and Viserys. Cregan fondly smiled at her. "You did well, Princess." They collected the wire, walking back to the campsite. After wiping the dagger off with a kerchief, she handed it back to him.

Cregan gently pushed it to her chest, shaking his head. "Keep that one on you. So I know you're safe, even if we're apart."

Daenys, awestruck, nodding slowly. This was her first gift from a person that wasn't her kin and not a new dress or piece of jewelry. "I will keep it safe." She grinned up at him, earning a hearty chuckle.

They burned one of the rabbits over the fire, sharing it amongst themselves. It seemed like Dusk had gone on his own hunt, gnawing on the leftover bones of his dinner. While Daenys and Cregan settled into his tent for bed, she felt too tired to be nervous. His comforting scent surrounded her like a blanket, his warmth radiating throughout the tent. He slept without the furs of his cloak, a wonder that Daenys was curious about. Did he run so hot that the chill of night didn't bother him, only needing one fur blanket?

Shaking the thoughts from her mind, Daenys snuggled into the furs he had given her for her own tent, almost grumbling at their lack of distinct scent. The two fell asleep side by side, the purrs of Morningstar soothing them to sleep.

Daor havor - not food

a wolf does not care for blood

Kostagon aōha iemny sagon forever lēda sir - may your stomach be forever full now

beheadings have become a trend in westeros, i see. i just remembered robb's direwolf and how he was grey.

did you catch that double meaning lol

also rip grey wolf, you would have loved being housed and fed in Winterfell by Cregan

I'm thinking that Morningstar is the child of Silverwing and Vermithor since they're a mated pair. We don't know if they produce asexually or not, so idk. Definitely Silverwing's baby though, since she's the only white dragon alive, but when I imagine Morningstar I see a white smaller version of Vermithor, I adore his horn and face design.

Who knows, the dragons seemed to be random colors. Arrax is white and Vermax is green, even though Syrax is yellow and theres no male whites or greens

[leviscolwill]

good old fashioned lover boy

pairing: trent alexandrer arnold x reader

summary: trent loves that you and jude get along, but he wants to make sure he still holds the #1 spot in your heart [wc: 1k]

req: request for a fluffy trent fic: jude is always over at trent & reader’s house, eating their food, bringing his friends over, begging to join them on outings etc. and generally acting like their kid. so ofc reader & jude are close, he goes to her advice, they tease trent togeth etc. and trent is jealous that jude gets long w his girl so we’ll but not actually jealous, more in a pouty whiny way, cos he knows jude is like a little bro to her

contents: established relationship, food mention, jealous trent (but it's cute)

note: i tried suppressing my lowercase addiction for this, tell me if you prefer it this way 🫶

now playing: good old fashioned lover boy by queen...

The warmth of your home protected you from October's cold. Trent had planned to spend the day snuggled in bed watching spooky movies and baking Halloween cookies with you.

Well, that was the plan until Jude passed your door. Trent wouldn't be able to say one bad thing about Jude even if he tried, he'd been there for him during tough times. No matter how hard you tried to empathize with Trent, Jude was probably the one friend who could understand his struggles surrounding football the most. Very quickly the pair grew close, almost family-like, and Jude would come over yours, often. You didn't mind, how could you? Jude was nothing short of lovely, he was a funny guy to be around and probably your boyfriend's favourite friend.

But you didn't expect him to crash one of the rare free days you got to spend with Trent. And neither did Trent, from the way his eyes widened when he opened the door to a smiley Jude. Your favourite Disney soundtracks were still blasting in the kitchen while you were mixing your cookie batter.

“Oh, are you cooking these for me?” Jude's voice made you turn around to see him standing in your kitchen with a big smile, your boyfriend trailing behind him.

“Depends, do you have good news to give me?” Trent's face contorted in confusion but Jude totally understood what you meant by the giggle he let out.

“I'll tell you all about it if those cookies are worth it.”

He recently came up to you for advice on how he should ask the girl he liked out. The fact Jude trusted you enough to share this with you made you happy, talking to him was like talking to a younger brother.

Trent knew about the girl his friend fancied of course, but he was absolutely clueless about him asking you for advice. Hearing you two talk so casually, made him feel left out. He knew how stupid this sounded, you were his girlfriend and Jude one of his best mates, but he couldn't help but feel his stomach churn from your closeness.

Trent wasn't jealous. He trusted you and Jude with his life. But he couldn't help feeling his friend was stealing the precious time he could have spend with his girlfriend, and he felt awful about this.

You were your own person, and he was very much aware of that, but he couldn't help spiralling. What if Jude was better company than him? What if he made you laugh in ways he couldn't?

His thoughts came to a halt when you pressed a quick kiss near his lips, “These should be done in 30 minutes, are you alright T? You look a bit off.” The concerned look in your eyes made him forget everything, his hand found yours to press a kiss on it.

“I'm fine baby, don't worry about it.” No matter how much Trent tried to reassure you, you knew something was off with him and made a mental note to ask him about it when you would be alone.

After many Fifa games between Jude and your boyfriend and six chapters of your books read, the cookies were ready. The three of you sat down and you intently watched their reactions to your baking, knowing damn well neither of them would be able to hide their real thoughts.

“These are very good love.” Your boyfriend complimented with his mouth half full while Jude stuck out his thumb up.

“So... Are you gonna tell me what happened with Mia?” A frown appeared on Trent's face again at your words.

“What's even all that about?” He tried his best to hide any animosity in his voice but it didn't work from the way Jude and you looked at him with wide eyes.

“I asked your girl for advice to ask Mia on a date, nothing more mate.” You could tell Jude was being cautious with his words, fearing his friend would get the wrong idea.

Trent ran his hand on his face, “I know. This is stupid, sorry.”

You stayed silent and went to the kitchen telling the boys you had to clean it up to cover the fact you wanted to flee this weird atmosphere.

You stayed a while looking at your phone, and when you looked up you saw Jude and Trent in front of your front door talking together, your boyfriend's hand laying on Jude's shoulder before pulling him in a hug.

The younger boy noticed you staring, and winked at you with both his eyes before whispering something to Trent's ear, something that made him turn around to look at you with a smile. You quickly turned around pretending to be interested in something else to hide the fact you were caught red-handed pretty much spying on them.

When the door finally closed, Trent's hands found your waist and spun you around. You started speaking before he could try to himself. “I'm sorry for not telling you I was speaking with Jude, but I swea-”, Trent's lips on yours cut you off, you felt your shoulders relax from this action.

“No, I am sorry. This was stupid, I just really wanted to spend the day with you, only you, I mean. I actually love the fact that you get along with Jude, but I just don't want you to like his company better than mine y’know.” His words relieved you, your pointer finger booped his nose as he let a giggle escape his lips.

“Trent, don't be silly. I love hanging out with Jude but if I could, I would spend every single minute of my life with you. Now... should we start watching The Prisoner of Azkaban?”

Trent led you to your shared bedroom, fingers intertwined to snuggle under the sheets. The both of you perfectly content and satisfied with each other's company.

taglist: @ceofmercedes <3 @zowanew <3

[unabashednightmarepizza]

𝑇ℎ𝑒 𝑀𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑠 𝑇ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑀𝑎𝑑𝑒 𝑈𝑠, 𝑈𝑠

A/N: I'll be completely honest, I don't know what I have written... But it's wholesome( i think) and cute. Curse me and my inability to write something short.

Prompts Used: I'll stay for as long as you need from this, do you think we'll be in love forever from this.

Summers in the Burrow was absolute trash.

Now it wasn't because Charlie didn't like to come back home and perhaps finally rest a bit. He actually liked being back home, especially with you now that you two were finally dating, he often took you out with him for hours after you stashed food in your back, knowing you two would be gone for a long time doing...

Snogging? Making-out? Flying?

It all depended on the mood.

All in all, he loved his family, he loved you, and he loved how well you fit with his family and love them as your own, they loved you in exchange just as much, and loved being back home even if it meant the teasings of his brother Bill who was the one witnessing his puppy love to you would increase with their other siblings' help.

But sometimes, the teasing was just... too much. And the fact that you also took after his family didn't help.

His own lover was against him, and they obviously loved making him go all red!

As if it was hard to begin with...

"It seems you are so smitten by me that you always talk about me to your family, Charlie~" you teased your boyfriend lightly as your hand wrapped around his, squeezing three times to silently say I love you, even though you were just making fun of him for talking about you a lot to his family, as he looked at you with burning cheeks and a soft smile.

"No? Where did you get it from?" He tried to hide his rants about you in a cool manner, to save himself from the teasing he would face even though he would melt as soon as you started planting kisses on his cheek, but ultimately failed when Bill and his dad, who adored you already, stumbled into the living room and beamed visibly at the sight of you sitting with his son.

"Y/N! It's lovely to see you, dear! How are you?" Arthur immediately pushed his two eldest sons aside and came to hug you, landing kisses on each of your cheeks as he proudly looked at you. Even to this day, after almost four years of being Charlie's friend and two years of dating him, you never quite got used to the way they always welcomed you warmly.

Molly hugging you, smelling like those cookies she always made. Arthur's warm hugs as he pulled you to his artefact room to show all the new cool muggle things he found, Fred and George telling you the newest pranks they thought about, playing wizard chess with Percy, making Ginny's hair in different styles and teaching them to her as she did your make-up, telling Ron about the latest school drama...

Sometimes, with all their flaws and all, you even thought that they actually loved you more than their own sons.

"Yeah, there goes our privilege as soon as they see their daughter..." Bill groaned as he rubbed his arm to soothe the pain of his greatest betrayal, done by none other than his father. Still, Bill was someone who always found a way to tease you or mostly Charlie and this time wasn't any different as he saw how you both smiled shyly, quite cute in his eyes, as you both stumbled over your words, blushing madly.

"I-I'm not their daughter Bill, I think you are-"

"Yet, my friend, yet."

"Bill, stop teasing..." Charlie gritted out, hoping it was enough to make him back off but instead Bill laughed and merely brushed it off.

"You look like a squirrel when you are angry, Charlie~ Besides, by the amount of adoring talk you had been doing since your second year at Hogwarts, I thought you would have already used a promise ring type of commitment!"

Charlie's face was a tomato at this point, even his neck and probably his chest was all red from the embrassment he felt. He always told you that it was a bad idea to spend the summer with his family, solely for the reason that he knew they wouldn't stop teasing him, and often suggested the idea of spending it in Hogwarts, alone, with you in a flirty way.

In which you always replied, I don't want to be on the receiving end of one of Molly's angry Howlers, Charlie... We have to go, besides, what's the worst that could happen? They love me!

But, that was the point.

They loved you so much, even more than possibly their own children!

And they wouldn't dare to tease you, no.

They took greater satisfication from doing that to him. Especially since he accidently let it slip that he wanted to marry you after graduation.

"What? Don't tell me... Holy shit, you never told them about your affinity with them since the day school started?!" Bill dramatically screeched with a hand over his chest at his brother's state, Percy rolling his eyes at the three of you as you tilted your head confused.

"Wait... Really? He had been talking about me?"

"Of course! I don't think he stopped doing it even after you two started dating! If not, it increased even more!" Percy yelled from the other room, making Charlie look there angrily, not aware of the soft and loving eyes you were sending to his way.

"Yes, I remember him talking about you at every breakfast, so much so that both me and Molly knew what flower you liked and memorized your schedule!" Arthur added with a happy nod from the kitchen as he helped Molly with the plates. Charlie turned his head so swiftly that you were worried he hurt his neck as he was left staring with a gaped mouth at his father.

"Dad!"

"Oh, yes, I remember now! I wasn't very pleased to hear that Y/N thought gnomes were cute... but she accepted they could be dreadful too!" Molly came from the kitchen as she gave you her famous pancakes with a smile and affectionate pat on your head as her eyes found Arthur's playfully.

"I still remember how your dad came bursting in, yelling that he finally found someone who shared his fascination with Muggle world and even gave him a record player."

"I'm gonna go and de-gnome the garden, maybe that will-" Charlie suddenly got up and turned towards the door to get out and probably cool his flaming face, while you giggled uncontrollably alongside Ginny who was having the best time of her life at her brother's misery.

"We can send your precious, curse-breaking lover if you want!" A yell came from the other room.

"Fred!" Charlie turned angrily to scold his brother when he saw the disappointed eyes of his brother.

"I'm not Fred, seriously first mum and now you, Charlie?" George, actually Fred, came from the other room, looking sad and half-angry.

Which was all a ploy, and even you knew it at this point.

But Charlie never was able to tell which twin was which one, and this was no different. He huffed out angrily as he muttered a whatever, and walked right towards the garden as you and twins looked after him with straight eyes and then slowly smirked.

"You are never gonna get tired of tricking him, right?" You threw your head back on the couch and looked at the twins with a cheeky smile as they laughed and shook their heads.

"Never~"

"So... You know we," Fred pointed to all the other Weasley siblings, except Bill and Charlie, to a pouting Ginny and Ron, who were doing their best to use their puppy eyes. " are here for a reason, and that is-"

"To hear more of my adventures in any kind so that you could find a humiliating moment to tease Charlie later?" You quirked an eyebrow curiously as they all stared at you in wonder.

"That's why she is the best older sister possible..." Ron and Ginny exclaimed with amazement with breathless sighs, making you laugh as Fred and George nodded their heads impressed.

"She is finally a true Weasley. Understanding what we exactly want is of high value."

" Suck it up, guys, you made it very obvious! Besides, Charlie won't be happy about this!"

"Then why are you bringing snacks?" Percy stopped while bending over the table in the living room under everyone's curious and amused stares, mumbling to himself as he flushed.

"Because... I want to hear them too."

"Hell yeah, that's my brother! Now, Y/N, you have no other choice than telling us!" Fred exclaimed as he threw a proud arm around Percy's shoulder and ushered everyone to sit down so that you could finally start. You looked at all the kids sitting down in front of you, waiting for you to start with excited eyes. Seeing them so eager, even though it wasn't unusual for them whenever you came to the Burrow, and they had other motives, made you crack a smile and nod.

You could actually give what they want to them with this story, and watch as Charlie suffers from their hands on your behalf.

"Now, where should I begin... Perhaps the accident with Squawk is a good one."

Squawk was on loose, the reputation of the Dragon Club was at stake and there was no way you could find that little rascal in time.

Without help.

"I want Squawk back in our care just as much as you do, Y/N! I'll help you find him, you don't have to worry when you have me!"

As soon as the last part left his lips, Charlie already slapped his forehead mentally when he met Liz's questioning and "are you serious?" look. He couldn't help how he felt or what he did, especially when his crush came to ask for his help. He had been watching you as discreetly as possible, throwing himself in to help you whenever you ask and he always sat with you at lunch and cracked jokes in hopes that you would smile.

You did, every time, because how could you not? He was being extremely cute and adorable!

But to Liz, and pretty much every single one of your friends, all these longing stares and shy smiles was becoming a lot harder to bear.

"Hate to break the cute moment, but we have a mission to finish and an Incendio to cast! Pump the love brakes and do it now Y/N~"

Actually remembering where you were and with who you were, you flushed but did it anyways and set the fake eggs on fire to lure Squawk to where you three were waiting.

And soon, he showed up and circled around the eggs protectively, making all three of you to cheer.

"Nice one, mate!" Liz's eyes were as wide as saucers when the word mate left Charlie and he was left freaked out with his hand still up in the air.

No... No, I didn't just call my crush "mate"...

Your eyes were also wide open at what he said, but you tried not to show how it made you disappointed as you smiled and let out a hey, which didn't really had the usual hype.

Mate... That's all he is ever going to see me as.

But amongst that chaos and freaking out, and Charlie's yell, Squawk was already gone, having flought away in fright.

Charlie, since he was kind of the reason Squawk got away, had a sheepish yet half-horrified look on his face as he looked at you, expecting anything except the kind and happy smile you had given him.

"W-what... Are you not angry at me?"

"No? Why would I be?" You tilted your head with a small smile as Charlie gulped nervously.

Oops, you were actually angry but... somehow, it felt like it wasn't about this accident?

"Because Squawk is... gone?"

You sighed, rubbing the back of your neck. It was no use for you to hold grudge against him just because he called you his mate and you had to fall for him. "It's like you said, Charlie. As long as I have you, I have nothing to worry about... Besides I'm confident in where he might have flied off..."

The rest of your sentence was a blur as Charlie widened his eyes and his heart literally stopped at what you said. Yes, he was the one who actually said it but to hear your crush also agree on it...

You just said the sweetest thing possible to him and he... called you his mate.

Tonk was his mate, not you! What the hell was wrong with him?!

"It's rather sweet what you said about Charlie, Y/N but one, stop being all lovey-dovey since some of us are single," she walked away while groaning, leaving you two behind blushing madly as she soon turned back and looked over at her shoulder with a cheeky smile.

"And two, please have a date already after we catch Squawk. I have a bet going on with Andre and I intend to win it, if possible." With that, she left you two to yourself and went inside as you looked at Charlie nervously for him to say something, anything.

And even if his heart threatened to get out of his chest at how close you two were, he smiled and looked into your eyes that reflected all of your emotions.

And it made him blush even more, when he found the clear adoration in there.

"Should we get started then?" He extended his hand out shakily and smiled when you grabbed it thightly and made him run after you with a happy laugh, thinking to yourself as you both ran.

Unaware of how he was watching your hair dance in the wind.

He is lucky he is cute, or else I wouldn't be running after him...

Everyone was left shocked at how stupidly oblivious their older brother, whom they all loved and even idolized, could be. A silence settled after you finished the story and you anxiously looked at them since... they were just looking at you with open mouths, even Percy wasn't saying anything except gulping down the chips he was eating.

But soon, Ginny's screech cut the silence perfectly.

"Wait... MY BROTHER REALLY CALLED YOU 'MATE'?! Ughhh, boys are so stupid..." she rested her back against the table with a hmph, crossing her arms in front of her chest angrily. If the situation wasn't comedic, you could have pinched her cheeks and agree with her, even if you were dating that oblivious and stupid boy that was her brother.

"How many boys have you ever seen, Ginny?" Ron pushed her shoulder, in a way quite offended as she sticked her tongue out.

"I live with 6 of them, I think it's enough!"

"Pretending that our sister didn't just roast all of us," George pointedly said as he slowly pushed the two youngests away with a sheepish look, and looked at you with a smirk.

"Our brother really called his crush 'mate' huh? Interesting..." he rubbed his chin as if he had a long beard which made you snort and nod at him.

They were so going to use this against him.

"Yeah, he did. And according to our friends, he banged his head at every possible surface whenever he remembered that but... it was kind of cute, how he lost track of what he says around me." You cutely said, a stupid smile over your face as the boys made a disgusted face while Ginny let out an awe. You slapped the back of their heads softly as you snickered. "Don't make that face now! I will see you when you fall in love~"

"Wait, wait! Was there a confession? Was it romantic or stupid as he first acted with you?" Ginny suddenly asked excitedly, bouncing up and down with a wide smile as she hugged her legs closer to herself, waiting for your answer.

"Ughh girls and their obsession over romance..." Ron groaned, making a face as if he was disgusted but you knew deep down that he was also into them, especially the one you had with his brother.

He would rather die than accept it though.

"Well, there definetly was some, Ginny. But... At first it was just us complaining about the other to our best friends."

Your chest felt heavy remembering Rowan, how you two used to stay up late while giggling to yourselves. It was mostly them, making fun of you as you blushed and hid yourself under your pillow after you confessed your crush to them.

But what are best friends for? Making fun of you when you need their help, and then offer their biggest one.

"I don't even know what's going anymore, Rowan! I just can't get Charlie out of my mind, every time I look at him, my stomach feels weird, I start to sweat and my heart feels like it's gonna burst out and scream... That bitch and him making me feel like that."

Rowan giggled as she patted your back while you vented, offering their comfort while you laid over their lap. You were trully sick, sick of feeling like this, because deep down, you knew the reason.

You knew why it all happened around Charlie but refused to acknowledge them.

There was a difference between knowing and accepting it, right?

"And... And as if it's not enough, I saw him half-naked!" Rowan choked on the air as they looked down at you in fright.

"You didn't start big, right?!"

"What the hell?! No, of course not! Look at me Rowan! Do you see me as that kind of person? If I was, I wouldn't be patheatically venting to my best friend!"

You got up from their lap as Rowan nodded, saying a fair point, and watched you plop down sadly before you crawled next to them and put your head on their shoulder. Rowan knew what was exactly coming and sighed as they pulled one of the napkin from their nightsand and offered it to you with an "are you serious?" look.

"He was... just so hot, Rowan."

" I know, it's normal for you to say that."

"I can't believe I fell for a dragon boy, whose only interest would be them."

Now that got their attention. Because, there was no way in hell you didn't realize the obvious favouritism he had for you... Right?

But by the patheatic pouting on your face, yes you didn't realize a thing.

"You really don't realize, do you?" They chuckled amused as they pat your head while they fixed their glasses. You lifted your head curiously and frowned at their question. "Realize what?"

"Charlie literally only talks to you about his favourite things, you included, and you listen to him talk for hours about dragons. He gives you the Snitch whenever he catches it when you come to his matches, which is usually always, and even gave you his sweater when you were cold... THE Weasley sweater, if I may add. Everyone knows he and Bill cares about it a lot, Charlie more than Bill."

As they talked, every single interaction passed through your eyes.

Even the ones no one really knew about.

The picnics near the Black Lake, hanging out after curfew, exploring the castle together...

Watching the stars together as you rambled about them, not realizing how close you two were suddenly. His wood and pine smell, a result of him always hanging out in the forest, suddenly filling your insides as your flowery yet quite light and neutral smell dazed Charlie and made him lean down closer to your lips... Them being apart by just mere inches as you both felt the other's breath, a craving, a lust and want so deep that it made you both almost tumble down and dive deep in the feelings...

You were down bad.

"And then he falls asleep on you, you fall asleep on him, you read to him, you always bring something for him from back home and he blushes every time you do that, he brings you his mother's cookies that she made for you, under his request and begs... Friends to lovers trope at its best really."

"Rowan..."

"Hmm?" They turned their head to you after they stopped listing everything, hearing your disturbed and anxious voice brought them back to the moment and- Holy shit, were you scared?

"Y/N? Are you oka-"

"I'm in love with Charlie." You said breathless but it seemed Rowan didn't quite catch the heavy meaning of your words.

"Oh well, congrats for realiz- Wait, not even like?! Like love love?

A shy nod of confirmation, and then a happy squeal.

"Oh My Merlin, I'm so happy for you! Now, you just need to say it to him-and no trust me, he feels the same, if not even more! There is no giving up for us now!"

"Then of course, he confessed to me... After making me cry because I had a crush on him-" you shrugged your shoulders noncholantly after you told them how you came to conclusion that you loved Charlie, and at that point, they were all so invested in your story that they didn't realize their brother standing at the corner and watching, listening to them with both a stupid and sorry look.

A/N: You may read my other work "First Date Shenanigans" for some referances.

Until that is, Fred understood the end of your sentence first and an angry scowl came to his face, making him look scarier.

"HE MADE YOU CRY?! THAT FRICKING TWAT, PERCY BRING THE BAT-"

"ON IT!"

"NO, FRED, DON'T-It was a misunderstanding!" You stopped them hurriedly as Percy immediately stood up and almost made a run for it, both young boys looking at you with wide eyes as they slowly blinked.

"What? How could there be a misunderstanding?"

"I wasn't very open with who my crush was," you shyly smiled and helped them sit back down, chuckling at their cuteness and how protective they were of you.

It made you feel... like a part of the family.

"Since everyone was suddenly so interested in my love life, which was a result of them knowing your brother's big crush on me, I never told anything about who he was."

"Yeah, we remember that Snape Accident... Douchebag."

"Ginevra Weasley, language!" Both you and her giggled as he came closer to you and laid her head on your thigh, your hand finding her ginger hair as you slowly started making a little braid.

"Soooo... What did he do when he learnt you had a crush on 'someone else'?" Ron emphasised pointedly with his fingers and waited for an answer, with a look he hoped that didn't give his big curiosity.

"Well, before that happened, he literally offered to duel me to take my mind off things... Now, I'm thinking that he did it for himself."

"Look, I know we will chat, but what will we chat about? What if we run out of things to say? What if we can't find something to talk about?" You anxiously looked at Charlie and Tonks, who was there to help you out with your date and couldn't help but get even more nervous after Tonks asked what you would do with him.

You never thought about that one.

What were you supposed to talk with Charlie, who was unaware that he was helping you with your crush who was actually him, so that you wouldn't ridicule yourself?

That is, if he accepted of course... Which was a low chance.

Seeing you spiralling into anxiety made Charlie sighed annoyed at his friend and turned to her with a pointed look. "See what you did, Tonks? Asking all those questions..."

" What? I was trying to help!" He shook his head at her innocent exclaim and gripped the bridge of his nose.

"Don't let your nerves get to you, love. Fight them off by... I don't know... Duelling one of us?" Charlie was already having a hard time looking at you, knowing that you liked someone else and was wondering what to do for a boy that definetly didn't deserve you, your love and attention at all.

Should he come after you to see the boy and later jinx him? Perhaps not... But he wanted to.

"That... would be good, Charlie. I'd like to duel you though, if you are not scared~" you teased him softly as your heart skipped a beat at his surprised wide eyes.

But unknown to you, Charlie was grateful that you didn't have any powers such as super hearing.

"Okay... But I won't make it easy..." he winked and looked at you through his lashes, possibly looking at you like that for the last time. He hoped he didn't look stupid, since Bill told him that flirting was definetly not his strongest feature, but by the snicker of Tonks...

Yes, he made himself a stupid.

"I think he went easy on me..." was what left your mouth after the session ended, rubbing your neck awkwardly but feeling refreshed. Charlie looked at you fondly for a second as he chuckled at your pouting face, shaking his head.

"No, I didn't..."

It wasn't that he would rather take Crucio than to see you get hurt...

"Yes, you did! I watched the whole time!" Tonk exclaimed cheekily with wiggling her brows as Charlie pushed her away from himself, already feeling himself blush again.

"%90 per cent of the time he was with you, it seems our brother only blushed..." Ron mumbled disappointedly, wondering how a boy like him could be rendered to a blushing, shy mess.

"MY BROTHER WAS SHY?! CHARLIE?! Are we talking about the same boy who reeks confidence in almost everything he does?"

"Well, Ginny darling, whether you believe it or not, he was really shy and couldn't look into my eyes after our first kiss. It even made me feel bad as if I pushed him but... Later I learnt why!"

"Then why was it?"

"You would know when you grow up..."

You couldn't just tell them that their brother thought about snogging you every chance he gets, from the moment he kissed you.

It would taint their precious innocence... Though you were starting to think that there was none.

"Just know that he turned it around very soon, and he was the confident boy he was in a few days."

Before you two dated, Charlie's hand always itched as if he wanted to touch you. And he did, he wanted that more than anything. Talking to you, praising you or even touching your hand simply seemed hard for him.

But as soon as you accepted him, all the things he wanted to do with you was easy. He kissed your cheek every day, called you his lover without a care, he touched you and hugged you freely as his longing finally was erased.

So, in short, a huge weight was lifted from his shoulders.

Even though you were the one who stopped them in the end.

He would always kiss you in front of people, not afraid of showing his love( definetly not because he knew some certain people liked you) and he would say, "What a good way to start my morning..." breathless as he stared at you with soft and loving eyes. He didn't care much about public attention or what others would say that much anyways.

To him, showing you his love was the least of the things he could do.

Especially when you never made him feel like an oddball, defended him even when he wasn't there, whenever he came to you to get help treating his injuries, you slept with him, cuddled with him, always beamed at him at the first sight of him walking to you, supported his dreams just as he always supported you and loved him unconditionally.

But he couldn't lie... All his affections were also to see your blushing face and embrassed face as you tried to look at anything but him, especially in the early days.

Remembering all the happy times you had with him, and all the times you had to get treat his wound after one of his "funny adventures" made you giddy all so suddenly. Because they were real, you weren't dreaming about them again, you actually went with it and was now currently sitting with his family, bonding together to prepare the biggest achievement of your life: Get back at Charlie for all the times he teased you restlessly.

But... Why not add Bill into this as well? He also took great happiness from watching it.

"But Charlie wasn't the only one I had power over. There were even days I made Bill do what I want him to do!"

"Really? Our brother? Like what?" Now all of their heads were turned to you, their eyes wide with excitement as the same cheeky smile before pulled up your lips.

"Yes, such as putting up decorations, preparing the Great Hall for the Celestial Ball and help me find a-"

"HE HELPED WITH THE CELESTIAL BALL?!"

"You are a natural leader, Bill, and I'm tiny compared to you. Inexperienced too. In many ways actually. So, as the good senior you are, I think you should help this cute friend of yours~"

"Okay, fine... Don't think you can rope me to hang the decorations though. I'll help you, and my job will be done."

Spoiler alert, it actually wasn't the end of his job.

"But even if he was the one who often helped us around with our problems, I would like to think that I too helped him on some ways.

Such as the time he stood up to Emily Tyler in the Ball.

"I realized I made a mistake...Would you like to give us another chance, Bill?"

Please say no, please say no, you are not that stupid Bill...

" Emily..." Bill said as he walked closer to her and stood before her, her batting lashes at him as he looked down at her. Meanwhile you were behind him, a mouth hang open in shock. Out of all the ways you wanted him to man up and face her, this wasn't what you planned.

"No way in the fucking hell..."

" Even if you were the last witch on the world, it wouldn't happen. You have been too rude to my friends, my best friend, and my brother and to me."

"Okay, that was impressive really..."

Ginny rolled her eyes at her brother and pushed them away, turning to you with her wide eyes as she wanted to hear the "love part" of your story with her brother.

"Was there a time Charlie saved you? From anyone?"

"Hmm... He often protected and defended me against Merula-"

"Oh, that bitch-"

"GEORGE WEASLEY!"

I swear Molly somehow always hear us... Maybe it's mum ears?

"Hello, Charlie! What are you doing here? It's not the class time yet?" He turned to look at you in surprise as his hands clasped behind his back and he greeted you back, perhaps a little bit more enthusiastic than he wanted.

"You know me, love, when I'm not playing Quidditch or bickering with Bill, I'm out exploring... And I can ask you the same, what are you doing here?" Your heart fluttered at the term of endearment he used, flushing a bit as you giggled at him. He leant over the boxes that held food for the creatures, trying to be all cool but he was anything but "cool".

Because, today would be the day, he was so sure of it! He would ask you out on a date, ace it with flying colors and finally have you to himself, all to love and kiss!

" If it isn't the two losers of Hogwarts..."

But not all plans went according to plan.

Charlie, hearing Merula's venomous voice, pulled you behind him as he stood before her, blocking you from her. He knew how you can kick asses, you did on him many times, and he also knew you always won against Merula and she was angry about that too. Merula, contrary to popular belief, wasn't that bad.

She was bad just... Not that much.

But still, he couldn't let her either do something to you or ruin his day by stopping him from asking you out.

" What do you want Merula?"

"Why do you even care, Charlie? I thought she hated me? She probably came here to insult me again."

"You're right. I don't care what you think most of the time, Y/L/N." At her usual snarky comment, you just rolled your eyes at her and turned to look at Charlie. Your eyes widened at how thight his jaw was and how his eyes could actually throw fire at her if that was possible, and a sudden burst of love and want threatened you to turn into a puddle at his protective side.

" I don't want to argue with you right now, Merula... Let's go somewhere else Charlie."

Suddenly, as if your words lightened a bulb in her mind, Merula gripped your wrist thightly, making you slightly wince as you turned around with angry eyes. "Where do you think you are going when you are talking to me?"

"The hell is your problem? Get the hell away from them!" Charlie pushed Merula away from you, making her stumble back in shock at seeing the Charlie Weasley who was ever the kind boy turn aggressive when someone threatened... you.

She chuckled at noticing what everyone has been talking about for the past few months.

Charlie Weasley was never like this, never raised a hand, never used his wand to fight another student....

Maybe, she could change that.

"Oh, Charlie Weasley, the shadow of his brother coming to rescue the day... It must be hard going to Hogwarts at the same time as your older brother... Watching him take over the stage, always be the talk,"

He scoffed at her obvious attempt of setting him off, but Charlie knew her and he wasn't about to get into her trap.

Her sharp eyes soon turned to you with a smirk. "Not that Y/L/N would know anything about that. Their brother is missing, probably dead."

But bringing you into this? That was her first mistake.

And also the biggest one.

Her words hurt, remembering all the suffering you had beared, all the while having to hear all the insults people threw at your dear brother...

But you couldn't show her that her words affected you, you just... couldn't.

But Charlie? Oh, hell no... He was going to make her pay for what she said, for hurting you.

"You never quit, do you, Merula? Why are you so angry at them after all these years anyways? Why are you still lashing out at someone who never did something?"

"If you are really the best witch at Hogwarts, why do you feel threatened by them? Why worry about what they are doing?"

Merula was shocked at the amount of anger Charlie had put in his words, backing her until she was far away from where you were. You were stuck on where you were for a second, your mind being unable to catch up to what was happening. But as soon as you did, you ran after Charlie and grabbed his arm to stop him.

"Charlie, it's not worth it. Let go-"

"Careful with the words, Weasley or else-"

"You, be careful with your words, Merula. I won't have you insulting my... friend. Don't get me started on your family issues if you want?"

Telling all of your story to them had been fun, it certainly made you appreciate your time with him and then his family. They were all eagerly listening while Molly and Arthur stayed behind and watched their kids silently listen to you, obediently, without making a voice or doing anything.

"We need to make them come over more often." said Molly with jolly yet slightly tearful eyes. Seeing her kids so happy and well made her emotional, just like it would do to many mothers.

Arthur hugged her closer and nodded, definetly not having any problems with you being around more. "I agree, dear. They fit in well... And I'll have a new artefact in my hands soon, I'm sure they will like it!"

In the end, after everyone was finally gathered around the living room, you seated yourself next to Charlie and hugged his arm closer to yourself, your chin on his shoulder as his warmth almost lulled you to sleep. He was dead tired, and also flustered from earlier. Apart from de-gnoming the whole garden with Bill, he came inside to look for you and how you were doing since you were so anxious before coming here.

But instead was met with you telling your story to his siblings with clear adoration and even he stayed to listen to you and your captivating voice as his heart swelled with love and pride.

"I loved listening to you talk about us... to my siblings. It was lovely." He muttered softly to you, not caring if his family heard him or not.

"Even if they use it against you?" You mumbled into his shoulder sleepily, lifting your head slowly to look at his shining eyes. He chuckled at seeing your usual teasing eyes even if you were tired after talking all day.

He knew his siblings after all, they must have asked a lot of questions.

"Yeah, even if they do that... It made me reminisce about the past years, and seeing you so cozy and happy with them... I just feel so happy, so lucky to have you." He brought a finger to your cheek as he slowly rubbed it, smiling when you nuzzled closer to him.

Normally, it wasn't like him to be so carefree with PDA but right now, he really didn't care. He might feel insecure from time to time, which happened seldomly, but as he sat with you next to him, thighs touching each other as your hand clutched his arm thightly, he knew he had nothing to worry about.

Even if he was blushing and his heart pounded at your sleepy face.

Because he never thought he would actually fall in love, he never thought his life would go to that part. He never imagined himself with a partner, going all the adventures with them. All his life, he thought he would stay single and had to tolerate his mother complain about his choice and beg him to find a partner.

But now?

He had his person, the one for him right between his arms.

"Do you think we will be in love forever?"

"I'll stay for as long as you need, Charlie... Being there and loving you."

And if that didn't prove his point, his previous talk with Bill in the garden and her mother bringing the famous "Weasley Sweater" did.

His mother didn't knit one for everyone after all.

"About my comment earlier... How did the ring shopping go?"

"Surprisingly well, brother... I think I found the ring." He pat his pocket two times to show his point and Bill smiled in a brotherly way and hugged him thightly, proudly.

In two years, there would be another addition to the huge Weasley family.

[thoughtsafterdark]

Shoeboxes and Eggshells

When I was younger, carefree and naive.

Watching the raindrops that whipped and bent on the windows on the highway.

And the rolling storm grey clouds gather above

Listening to the radio and nodding off to sleep, eyelids heavy with sand and head foggy with warmth

I thought it was ridiculous how much of music is made up of love songs

Used to think it was impossible for them all to be genuine, how can one person love so much and so many times, falling into all the same traps.

But then I grew into a hopeless romantic.

I fall in love with fragments and shards of people, keep them in an old shoebox amongst pretty rocks from the beach and candy wrappers from fairs long gone. I nip and peck at them all, like a crow catching the glint of something shiny out of the corner of too-intelligent eyes. I collect half smiles and smirks, the curve of a thigh or hip, the swish of a bohemian white skirt on a beach in early June. Pearly laughter, bright and pink, nimble fingers and chocolate eyes. They pass through me like wisps, shadows in the night that leave only whispers in their wake. Imprints that weave and meld together like threads, like brands on my soul.

In August evenings, when the sun is low and the heat of the day evaporates into a balmy night, I like to play Badminton with my sister the way I used to play with him. And as I lunge for points, I listen to the angry, dark music I used to listen to with her, so I could prove that I was just as broken. Now I don't have to pretend anymore. I carry the pain of them all with me everywhere I go. With each one I could swear I lose a piece of myself. Theseus' ship, continuously replenished. But every time I am amazed at the tears I still have left to cry.

Now, sitting here with you in this newfound cocoon of solace I think I finally understand

The trouble with falling out of love and becoming someone else is there's no guarantee the new version of me won't fall for the new version of you.

We're no longer the bright eyed and bushy tailed fools we were two years ago. I'm angrier, rougher around the edges. I care now with a vicious edge that wasn't there before. The sort of kindness born not of softness but pressurised rage.

Your walk is slower, hunched over with responsibility and disappointment.

Yesterday you laid your head against the wall, throat bobbing and you told me you felt like a failed imposter, like you'll never be good enough. I feel for you but will you hate me if I say. That the ghost of the girl I was is glad that carefree boy who killed her is dead now too.

We left their graves in the dirt behind us as we outgrew those bodies.

We're growing up now, and that all feels so silly. A distant dream of who I used to be.

It's different now, but it still scares me. Because I can feel myself falling for you all over again. But it's warmer. Softer. Steadier. Based on an easiness that wasn't there.

I won't do anything this time I know. I can't bear to lose you again. But I'm scared of you leaving me so maybe I'll up and run

I'll just keep these embers stoked and warm, close to my heart to give my strength. Before another day rolls around where we're strangers again

Its easy now. We slot well together. Like well-worn cogs in the machine on this newfound eggshell thin camaraderie. Dependable, reliable. I know it won't last I miss you. I fucking hate you

How does it feel

To exist on so many levels at once

How is it that

You've mastered the superposition state

You're there and you aren't

Always and never

A text away but

Filled with hollow monosyllables and periods

Yes I am a romantic but you are my greatest mistake

 Never before have I fallen into the mouth of the same shark, and convinced myself the bite was that of someone who cared

I would chew off my own right arm to know what you were thinking when you look at me. Do you feel the same pit of squirming worms deep inside, the mix of pain and agony and bittersweet longing of what could have been. It's funny what tricks oxytocin plays on us. Do you know how it feels to cry over something that was never real. Do you wonder why we aren't friends anymore. Or am I so insignificant a fly the thought has never crossed your mind. Just someone you used to talk to, but don’t anymore

I'm sorry the mortifying ordeal of my love was so embarrassing for you, I'm sorry I lied. I wasn't who you thought I was. But in my defence, neither were you. The boy I loved lived only in my dreams. I built him myself, out of desperation and hunger. He was what I needed at the time. I'm sorry he had your face. You were just there, and I was lonely and afraid.

[lilly-onthevalley]

Earrings & Jewellery

I'm incredibly privileged to have grown up with a grandmother who loved high-quality ear piercings. When I was a child, I would always gawk at her diamond collection and her deep emerald studs, which she would keep safe and secure. Prized gifts from past lovers.

One of my favourite things is my jewellery. I would go broke for a good real black pearl. I would fly back to Bridge of Allen to meet the family jeweller who crafted my silver and pink-purple fresh water pearl bracelet. I would run to Poland to find another Torah necklace to remind me of the dear old lady who I would source my vintage jewellery from and my pleasurable years of studying Judaism.

Whenever I walk around, my stack is always a conversation starter because of how it stands out, all rings, earrings, and bracelets. I wear on average 3-5 rings and 4 bracelets, all silver, some with diamond or zirconia. I wear the silver cartier wedding band I got as a gift every day, depending on where I'm going, lol. I also have a signature symbol, which I'll gate keep.

I implore everyone to have a signature charm. It could be a shell design, a flower, a sea horse, a star, anything that feels lucky to you or blessed. Whenever anyone sees the symbol, they will automatically think of you, and whenever you'll see it, you'll remind yourself of the luck and personal significance it has to you. My middle finger ring has my symbol, and so does my everyday necklace. I'm about to get studs with the same.

When you get jewellery, I always recommend finding someone with a passion for it. I don't see the point in going to a mass market jewellery store that will sell you fake jewellery that tarnishes the second summer hits or if you swim. Invest in the metals. 90% of my jewellery is from random old men with a long-time passion for craftsmanship. It's not always pricey. You will not be charged $100+ for starter hoops or a plain stud. Take the leap, and you'll never have to do it again. Furthermore, with these types of jewellers, if you ever need maintenance such as shining, anodising, oxidation, cleaning, repairs, etc, they have your back. The secret to shiny white icy silver and white gold is in the shining, it's necessary. Google is your friend, if you start now you'll be sorted till 60!

Having multiple piercings is thought by the tiktok wealth gurus to not be classy, and quite frankly, I disagree. There's an art to creating a good piercing stack, which adds to your allure.

As a woman of colour from a country with a very proud history of adornment and multiple local high jewellers who's hearts ache to capture Africa into a singular mental piece, I cannot subscribe to that narrative in good faith.

Currently, I have 2 piercings on each ear, which will increase to 5 on 1 and 4 on the other. I have scheduled my piercing dates and contacted all my jewellers to let them know what's up and that I want to come in to see what they have going on for the new season. I'm terribly excited.

When it comes to a good stack, you can never go wrong with diamonds, zirconia, or diamanté. Play with different cuts. Marquise cuts are trending right now in the piercing and engagement ring communities. Furthermore, pearls are something that never goes out of style. I love a good real pearl because of lustre. A fresh pearl will have multiple colours at times, which are enhanced based on the angle of the light around you. Similar to diamonds or clean zirconia and diamanté. Diamonds and stones like it are cut with different facets to play with the brilliance. A certain cut can cause a fire, not in the literal sense but the effect whereby multiple colours are seemily present within the stone because of the refraction of light. This is especially important with engagement rings.

When it comes to individual earrings, I would recommend these types.

Very dainty, very light, very sweet. A stack of these is a sight to behold. Especially on dark skin. I absolutely love how Anok Yai and Adut Akech style their piercings.

A good account on Instagram to get inspiration on what a good classy stack looks like is Maria Tash. I'm utterly obsessed.

When it comes to pearls, here is a colour guide. I believe in jewellery shopping from different countries. My favourite places to get my hands on some pearls are the coasts of Scotland and the UK online markets. You will find the cheapest, pinkest, fresh water pearl jewellery. My friend loves a deep dark pearl and stalks Asian jewellers to find some to add to her collection. I admire her tenacity. They aren't as easy or cheap to find as pink and purple pearls.

🪽

[spongeofaces]

Matchup exchange for @thecurrator 1/3

---

First of the three matchups! I'm sorry for taking so long with these 🙇‍♀️

Really loved the one you made by the way, super cute.

Hope it lives up to your expectations!

Do tell me if I made any errors, I'll fix it up right away.

---

Romantic

I match thecurrator with...

🐉 Malleus Draconia 🐉

-:-:-:-

Malleus may be an absolute sweetheart of a partner, but he is also new to this kind of relationship. He does try his best, however he may not always know what is expected of him; what's too much or too little. Just be patient with him, okay? He'd wait an eternity for you, after all.

Typically, Malleus talks to others in a respectful yet somewhat cold tone, but fortunately he's comfortable enough around you to drop the polite walls he's built up. At times, he may find himself making small jokes or teasing comments that he usually wouldn't make with anyone else. Slowly yet surely, he'll become more and more willing to act childish if he wishes to, not feeling the same shame he used to when he acted in such a way. You've helped him become a lot more open with his words and actions, and he appreciates that.

As someone who has had personal experience with feeling isolated for a long time, Malleus has made it his personal mission to make sure that as long as the two of you are together, you'll never feel lonely. He needs you to know that no matter the situation, no matter the time, he is willing to be by your side. There's no need to hesitant or worry if you want to ask Malleus to spend time with you, I assure you; he'd drop anything if it meant he could be with you instead.

Malleus can take on any role in a conversation, switching between speaking and listening depending on the current mood. Whenever you speak, he is sure to pay his utmost attention, treasuring the words that leave your lips, storing away any and all information you give him in his head. You may make a one-off comment about a show you sort of like, and a day or two later he'll be bringing it up, having watched some of it to learn more about your tastes. Whether you feel like fast-paced banter, meaningful conversation, sudden rants or complete silence, Malleus is always happy to oblige.

This guy does not hold back on the compliments, always finding some sort of excuse to praise you. No matter how mudane a task you complete is he'll have something positive to say about you. Just by the look of utter adoration in his eyes, you can tell that it isn't empty flattery; he means every word of it. At this point, you find that he's truly enamoured with even your smallest actions and behaviours.

Definitely a gift giver. He'll experiment with different types of gifts, trying to get a read on which kind of trinket you treasure most. At the start, he'll stick to the default gifts, flowers, jewellery, clothes, plushies. The only thing that isn't stereotypical about the gifts he gives, is the amount. You'll be recieving something every other day, some things small, some things large. His gifts will become more personalized as he learns more about you.

He adores spending time participating in your interests with you. He'll organize movie nights or days to binge entire shows, just so he can listen as you discuss the themes and delve into the characters.

He is not going to help with your habit of getting lost in new places, if I'm honest. Pretty sure he'll just play dumb and let you lead you both off-track, feigning ignorance when you ask if he has any clue which way to go. Oh, but he doesn't have any malicious intent, he just finds the act of going on a simple, spontaneous walk with you pleasant.

He'd go absolutely anywhere if only you'd invite him. If he's the one choosing a date location, it would probably be somewhere out in nature, with a pretty view or scenery. He may start getting sappy and compare you to a flower or something, how you react to that is up to you.

Make him a music playlist, and it will be the only thing he listens to for practically the entire month. He might seek you out to talk to you about how he interprets certain lyrics and songs. He's grateful you took time out of your day to make something so thoughtful for him.

You two share the 'unapproachable' vibe. You because of the rbf, him because of his intimidating presence. But hey, at least you two know that the other isn't as scary as they look.

If you ever space out, he'll just sit in silence and watch you affectionately, wondering what could possibly be going through your mind at that moment. When class is about to start, he may poke your cheek to snap you out of the small daze.

Other options: Silver and Jade.

[norris-lando]

it's nice to have a friend

Lando Norris x reader, mentions of Charles Leclerc x reader

warnings: smut, angst, fighting, breakup

author's note: Soooo... This was inspired by so many songs, I'm not going to list them all but the songs are by Taylor Swift, Gracie Abrams and Sabrina Carpenter. It's a longish one with a few twists. I hope you like it! :)

word count: 6.1k

school bell rings, walk me home, sidewalk chalk covered in snow, lost my gloves, you give me one, 'wanna hang out?', yeah sounds like fun

You went through your camera roll and found the perfect pictures, adding them to your post. Under them you wrote, 'Bestest birthday to my partner in crime!!! 🩷 I love you and can't wait to celebrate your special day with you soon xx'. You made sure to tag Lando and pressed post.

The two of you had known each for what felt like forever. Growing up next to each, you spend most of your childhood playing at your house or his parents cabin during your shared family trips.

Throughout the years you knew each other, everything always stayed the same between the two of you. Your relationship never changed or shifted. You stayed friends no matter what and whatever either of you went through in life, you knew you could trust the other with it.

It was always nice to know you had someone standing in your corner.

—

When Lando became more well known in the media, people obviously started to question your relationship. Or more so if you really were just friends. You were known for your online banter, posting pictures of each other and just the kind of all around 'act' you two had. And sure, it could sometimes seem like there was something more going on but it was never the case. Making it easy for the two of you to just brush off those kind of allegations.

But when Lando started seeing someone, a special someone, you couldn't help but feel just a little jealous. Not that you would ever admit it to him, you pushed those feelings away the best you could.

You were just friends after all, right? And nothing could ever come between you.

we were supposed to be just friends, you don't live in my part of town but maybe I'll see you out some weekend, depending on what kind of mood and situation-ship I'm in and what's in my system

It was Lando's birthday party. Everyone was invited.

You walked in to the bar and searched around the room for a familiar face. It was jam-packed but soon enough you spot the birthday boy himself.

Lando was leaning against the bar, waiting for a drink he had just ordered. A smile appeared on his face when he saw you and he waved for you to come over.

For a moment you could swear he was eyeing you in a way he hadn't before. The way someone might when they see someone they like. But you assumed it was nothing as you made your way over to him. He was dating someone else anyway so nothing could happen between the two of you even if you wanted to.

A part of you wondered where his new girlfriend was. You hadn't yet seen her anywhere although you had assumed she would have been all over Lando. Usually that was always the case and sometimes you even felt bad for Lando. The poor guy was trying to exist but his girlfriend was always there, lurking around some corner, not wasting any time to cling herself to Lando's side. However, not wanting your mood to affect your night, you pushed away the thought of his girlfriend.

Lando had taken it upon himself to order you a drink, knowing full well what you wanted. He pushed it towards you, sliding it on the countertop. He still had that stupid big but cute smile on his face. You pulled him in for a tight hug and congratulated him yet again on his birthday.

"Thanks," he mumbled as he held onto your body. You could have stayed like that all night but you pulled away soon enough. The smell of his cologne still lingering in the air around you.

You couldn't help yourself. You had to ask. "Where's your girlfriend?" The music was loud so you had to yell. And the smile on Lando's lips finally seemed to shy away a little.

"She had a work thing she couldn't miss," he said sheepisly as his gaze went around the room. As if looking for a way out of what could easily became a really awkward conversation. "Come on, let's go sit down. The rest of the grid is waiting for you." Lando took your hand and led you through the crowd of people.

In the back of your mind you kept feeling like Lando was rushing to keep the conversation away from his girlfriend and you couldn't help but wonder why it was so. You kept the thought to yourself however as you let Lando guide you to a more secluded section of the bar.

Everyone was so happy to see you. You squeezed yourself in between Lando and Charles on the small couch and set your drink on the table.

Tonight was going to be one special night, you thought to yourself as you looked around and relaxed. If only you'd know exactly how special this night was going to be...

-

You weren't sure how many drinks you had downed by the end of the night but it was enough to get you drunk. And when the night was nearing to its end, the only thing on your mind was fast food and a comfy bed to sleep in.

You had went around the party saying your goodbyes to everyone before you went to find Lando and tell him you were going to head home.

"I'm coming with you," was all he said. Before you could argue back, tell him that he should stay - it was birthday party after all - you found yourself outside waiting for your ride that Lando had arranged.

You slipped into the back of the taxi with Lando trailing in after you. He gave the driver the adress before closing the door and joining you in the backseat.

The ride back felt fast and suddenly you found yourself stumbling up the steps to your door. Lando held you tightly by the waist making sure you wouldn't fall over. A giggle left your lips as his hands were holding onto you, tickling you somehow.

"What's so funny," Lando asked. It was dark inside your apartment but you could make out Lando's features and saw a small smile on his confused looking face.

Another giggle came out. "You," you blurted just as you felt your legs about to give in. Lando caught you just in time, picking you up in his arms, whispering something about taking you straight to bed.

"We'll get that take out tomorrow morning," he told you, referring back to your cab drive where you had told him you wanted fries and a cheeseburger.

You tried to convince him that you weren't that tired yet. That you could handle some food before passing out but he didn't listen to you. Instead, Lando led you straight to bed.

Upstairs, Lando opened the door to your bedroom. He put you down gently on one side before moving the covers and telling you to roll over. You did as you were told and snuggled under the covers.

"Please stay with me," you whispered gently as Lando was about to leave the room to go sleep on your couch.

Your words made Lando froze for a moment, contemplating if it was a good idea. He had never told you but he had had feelings for you for a while but never acted on them, thinking you only saw him as a friend. Hope arose in his chest when he heard your words.

But things were different now. He was in a relationship and couldn't act on his feelings, no matter how much he wanted to.

"Stay," you said again, more pleading this time and Lando couldn't help himself. He climbed into bed with you and turned on his side so that the two of you were facing each other.

A smile was playing on your lips as you looked at Lando. He was smiling too.

You tried to control yourself but you leaned in a little closer, scooting over to him so that your lips were only inches away before you closed the gap and kissed him.

Both of you were taken aback by what just happened. You soon however relaxed into the feeling. Lando's hands moving over your body as the kiss grew more passionate with each passing second.

There was a nagging feeling in Lando's chest. He was going to regret this in the morning but he couldn't help himself. He had wanted you for so long as more than a friend.

It didn't take long before your clothes were falling on the floor. Lando climbed on top of you, holding his body up with his arms. The two of you stared at each other as if you were not sure what to do next, not knowing where this moment was going to lead to.

"Are you sure?" Your voice felt small around the tension in the room, both of you knowing full well what you were referring to.

"I'm sure," Lando whispered back as your lips crashed together. You wrapped your arms around his neck and gently grabbed his hair, pulling, keeping him close to your face. It felt like no matter how close you were together, it still wasn't enough.

Lando pulled away from your kiss. A groan left your lips at the loss of contact. You were almost pouting, thinking this was it. That Lando had changed his mind, come to his senses and realised that what was going to happen wasn't right.

It didn't last long as you soon felt Lando make his way down, leaving wet kisses behind all over your body. He made his way in between your legs and placed a small kiss on your clit. This time it was a moan that escaped your lips. Your hips buckled upwards, showing Lando how eager you were.

There was a vibration, Lando was chuckling. "Let me take my time," he said as his fingers went up and down your wet pussy before pushing first one, then two, inside you. He was curling them as you felt them hit your g-spot. You were soon a moaning mess under his touch.

"Please- Lando, I want-" You couldn't finish your thought as you felt Lando's movements become faster and faster. He shushed you as he hoisted himself back up, his face inches away from yours.

"I want you too, so bad," he told you as you could feel his cock on your entrance. It didn't take long before he pushed it inside you.

Lando was moving his hips back and forth. The two of you moaning and groaning loudly. Everything felt so surreal and so good and you wondered why you hadn't confessed your feelings to Lando before.

It didn't take long for the two of you to finish nearly simultaneously, your orgasms leaving you both breathless. Lando collapsed next to you as you tried to catch your breath.

You turned your head so that you were looking at him. Lando was on his back, a small smile playing on his lips. You scooted closer to him, letting your head rest on his chest. Lando wrapped his arms around you and pulled you even closer. He placed a small kiss on the top of your head and soon the two of you were fast asleep.

friends breakup, friends get married, strangers get born, strangers get buried, trends change, rumors fly through new skies but I'm right where you left me

The morning after Lando's birthday party, you woke up to the sound of birds chirping outside your window as sun peeked through the closed curtains. There was a pounding in your head as memories from last night flooded your mind but you couldn't help but smile.

You rolled around in your bed, turning on your side so that you could face Lando who you'd remembered had fallen asleep in your bed after your shared night together. But to your surprise he wasn't there. The bed was empty apart from you and it suddenly felt cold.

You listened closely for a moment, thinking Lando must have gotten up and went to make you breakfast. Or maybe he, too, had a pounding headache and a horrible hangover and he had gone to rummage around your cabinets in the search of a cure.

Taking your phone from the bedside table and going over Instagram and other social media, you got up from the bed and made your way around the house. Lando was nowhere to be seen and you got a sort of nagging feeling. Or maybe it was more of sickness in the pit of your stomach. You weren't sure if it was the hangover or the guilt from your last night actions but you knew you had to rush to the bathroom before you threw up all over the floor.

-

Days passed and you hadn't heard from Lando. Each day, you tried to call him, leaving him multiple voicemails and texts but he didn't answer any of them. You felt angry. Betrayed. Lando knew what he was doing that night. He told you he was sure. He had said to you that this was what he wanted. And now what? Had he changed his mind and now wanted nothing to do with you? It felt unfair to you. Had you really lost your lifelong best friend over a stupid, drunken mistake?

If you had known that this was how it was going to be, you'd never gone to that stupid party. You would have stayed at home alone. At least then you would still have your best friend.

she looks nothing like me so why do you look so happy, now I think I get the cause of it, you were holding out to find the opposite

Instagram had become your worst nightmare. In fact, all of social media had become your worst nightmare. You had tried your best to stay away from it all but somehow you always found yourself on Lando's pages, trying to make out what he was doing and who he was with whenever he posted something.

And then one night just as you were about to put your phone away and stop your stalking you saw something you wished you could unsee.

A picture of Lando and his girlfriend was staring right at you. You couldn't look away so you stared at the picture for a godawful time, embarrassed at your own behaviour. Lando had taken his girlfriend to Paris and now you could see for yourself just how happy the two of them looked together, posing under the Eiffel Tower.

Thoughts were racing around your mind but one struck out more than the others. She doesn't look anything like me so why is he looking so happy? In fact, she looked exactly like all those girls you had spent the better half of your teenage years making fun of with Lando.

The feeling of betrayal came rushing back. Why did he get to be all happy and in love? He was the one who cheated. Why were you the one who was suffering from the consequences? It wasn't fair.

you say 'I don't understand' and I say I know you don't, we thought a cure would come through in time now I fear it won't

It had been a few weeks since you had last seen or spoken to Lando. To be fair, you had been busy with your own work and hadn't really even managed to make time for anything else. Still, knowing the possibility of running into him during the Silverstone GP was enough to make you feel sick.

Your absence at the races hadn't gone unnoticed by the rest of grid. They had all already gotten used to your presence at almost every GP and now that you weren't there, it felt like something was missing.

So, one night as you had been at home, making yourself dinner after a long day at work, you were surprised to see Charles text you. He had started to worry about your absence and wanted to know if everything was alright and if you were going to make an appearance at the British race during the weekend.

Maybe Lando hasn't told anyone about your shared night together, you thought, maybe he regrets what happened.

The two of you ended up calling, finding it easier to speak over the phone rather than text, racking up an impressive few hour long phone call. Which, much to your dismay, had ended with you promising to go to Silverstone the following weekend. Charles, however in hopes of making the appearance easier for you, had promised that you could stay at the Ferrari Garage the whole time. Making it less likely for you to see or run into Lando, or his girlfriend for that matter.

And though the idea of going to Silverstone wasn't all that high on your list of things to look forward to, you still felt glad after talking to Charles. It felt good to know that there was someone willing to listen to you talk about your feelings regarding Lando. Charles seemed to understand and you were thankful for that.

You hated to admit it but it had started to feel like Lando wasn't really understanding where you were coming from. The ball had started rolling when you ended up sleeping together and it felt like Lando left you all alone in that situation.

There used to nothing that could come between the two of you. Now? Now it felt so tiring to try to make things right. Your feelings regarding everything were nothing but an imposition to Lando.

You had done all that you could. You tried to make amends, to talk to him about what had happened. But he wasn't fighting on the same side with you anymore - he was behind the enemy lines. And he was losing you.

and part of me wants to walk away 'till you really listen, i'd hate to look at your face and know that we're feeling different, 'cause part of me wants you back but i know it won't work like that, huh?

It was a sunny day in Silverstone. You were walking around the paddock, making your way to the Ferrari garage where Charles was probably already waiting for you.

"Hey," a familiar voice said behind you. You froze in your tracks for a moment before turning around to see Lando. You didn't know what to say or how to react so you just stood there, dumbfouned.

"It's been a while, huh?" Lando tried his best to mask the guilt he was feeling with a small chuckle but wasn't sure he managed. He took a step closer to you as you took a step back at the same time. "Look, y/n, I'm really sorry-"

You cut him off before he could say anything more. "Don't apologize, Lando, please. It's been hard enough as it was. There is no need to make matters worse."

To be honest, you were surprised by your own words but they were all true. It had been hard knowing Lando was out there somewhere living his life without you. These last few weeks had felt like you were stuck, unable to move on. Maybe that's what it's like losing your bestfriend, you had thought.

"Make matters worse- Y/n, what are you on about?" Lando's words cut through like a knife, making it seem like this was all your fault. "I wanted to apologize for ignoring you but it seems like it's not me who should be apologizing right now."

Anger was boiling inside of you. You couldn't believe Lando's arrogance. And though, you didn't want to cause a scene, you couldn't just stand there in silence.

"I'm not sure what dreamland you're living in but if I remember correctly we both agreed to do what we did the night of your birthday party. So, you can't put the blame all on me." Silence. You thought about your words - the ones you had just said and the ones you were about to say. "I knew it was a mistake but I didn't wanna believe you would think that, too, cause I love you and I thought that maybe you'd feel the same way."

Lando looked unsure. Like he didn't exactly know what you meant. Of course he loved you too, you were his best friend and had been since the two of you were kids. That hadn't changed during recent time apart and Lando was certain it would never change.

But then it clicked and he suddenly understood it all too well. Guilt rushing to him as he realized his mistake. He had, more or less, accidentally led you on.

He never meant to hurt you but that night and morning after felt like a blur to him. He was afraid and just bolted before you woke up. Why he didn't answer all those times you tried to call and text, he couldn't provide an answer for. He felt bad and once enough time had passed, it was harder and harder to make things right.

"I didn't come here to ruin your day so I'll just get going," you had started to walk away now but still called out to him with your back turned to him, "have a great rest of your life, you dickhead."

Lando stayed still for a moment, processing your words. Did you really mean that? Did you really not want to see him anymore? Have anything do with him? Had he really lost his friend, his best friend, over something so stupid?

If only Lando could go back in time, he'd make things right.

and I fell from the pedestal, right down the rabbit whole, long story short it was the wrong time//pushed from the precipice, clung to the nearest cliff, long story short it was the wrong guy

The summer break had started. And after the mess at Silverstone, you and Charles had grown closer. Though, you had always been friends, now that Lando was out of the picture, Charles and you spent even more time together.

He had taken Lando's place in your life. The two of you going out to dinner, having movie nights and just all around spending time together.

At first it was all platonic. Neither of you really looking for anything more than just friends to share the ups and downs of life with. But something happened and you two started dating. Agreeing to take things slow in order to avoid a catastrophe.

It was strange for a while but it felt nice to have someone you share everything with now that Lando wasn't that person for you anymore. You started to feel happier each day and it was all because of Charles.

The thought of Lando still stung whenever it crossed your mind. It wasn't easy to leave him behind. You had grown so accustomed to him being there for you through thick and thin. And sometimes it felt almost like the ultimate betrayel, replacing him with Charles. But you made your peace with it just as Lando had made his when he chose to walk away that one morning.

so we could call it even, you could call me 'babe' for the weekend, 'tis the damn season, write this down

It felt like a bad dream when Charles told you. A couple of guys from the grid had made plans for a little get-together over the summer. And though usually you'd be excited to spend time with everyone, now you dreaded it.

"We don't have to go," Charles said reassuringly when he saw the look on your face. "Or I can go alone, whatever's fine with you." He was so sweet and kind and considerate, and you felt bad about not wanting to go.

The two of you had managed to keep your relationship sort of private so far but you had talked about the possibility of going more public. With only a few of your closest friends aware of your situation so far, you figured this was a great way to catch everyone up.

So, with slightly gritted teeth, you agreed to go with Charles to the get-together. Nothing bad could happen anyway, right? You were grown ups. You and Lando could handle being in the same room together. Besides, you had both moved on. Maybe this could be a good time to try to reconnect with a certain, and once very dear, old friend.

-

The night went on quite nicely. Everyone was so happy to be there, to see you. Everyone but Lando. The second you got there, you could see something was bothering him. You tried to ignore it, deciding it was for the best. You told yourself he could come talk to you if he wanted to.

You were outside the venue, looking out at the sea, admiring the view. You heard someone walk over and take a stand next to you. You didn't bother to look, you knew who it was.

"I'm happy for you," Lando said sheepishly.

"Are you?" You didn't mean for it sound so accusing and you hoped Lando didn't pick up on it. You didn't want to fight anymore. If anything, you wanted your friend back.

"Look, I'm trying my best here."

"I know. Me too. I'm sorry," you offered with a small smile.

Lando smiled back at you. The two of you exchanged apologizies, going back and forth with who to blame for your fall out. It came to an end when you finally agreed it was probably just as much both of your fault.

You felt happy for the first time in what felt like forever. Though you were happy with Charles, this was different. You felt like maybe you finally had your friend back.

"I broke up with her," Lando said after a moment of silence.

You walked closer to him, hesitating for a while before you pulled him in for a hug. He didn't have to say how he felt, you knew.

"Do you remember when we were like 5 or 6 and you tried to make me feel better after I found out that Brad from school didn't like me back? I was heartbroken."

Memories pulled you back. You came home from school, tears in your eyes as Lando trailed behind you. He was calling your name but you ignored him. So he ran after you, catching you just as you were about to walk inside.

"And I promised that when we grew up, I'd marry you and love you so much that you'd forget about stupid Brad," he said finishing your trip down memory lane. A chuckle escaped his lips as he pulled away from the hug.

"Yeah," you started, "I guess if things had been different..."

Something stopped you from finishing your thought. But Lando knew what you meant without you even saying it. There was a sting in his chest. He had almost lost you and he didn't like the feeling. He didn't want to risk doing something that would end with you walking away from his life completely. Even though deep down he had started to feel like being friends wasn't enough anymore.

Or maybe it never had been.

"There you are," Charles called out to you. "I've been looking everywhere for you."

You took a step back from Lando, startled at the sight of Charles. You had almost forgotten about him.

"Oh, yeah, sorry," you hurried, "I just needed to get some air."

Lando was hovering by your side as Charles' gaze flicked between the two of you. He had a knowing smile on his face. He was happy to see you two getting along. It had pained Charles to hear you talk about Lando. Charles knew how close you were and he hated seeing you and Lando in pain.

It was awkward for a moment. None of you saying or doing anything until Lando broke the silence.

"I should get going," he offered you a small smile and patted Charles on the shoulder as he walked past him, leaving you and Charles alone.

Charles walked over to you and you extended your arms to pull him in for a hug. You buried your face in the crook of his neck and he placed a gentle kiss on the top of your head. The two of you exchanged a few words about the night before you walked back inside.

do you remember, happy together, I do, don't you? // thought you'd hate me but instead you called and said I miss you, I caught it

You had left Monaco to visit your parents back at home in London before you, too, had to get back to work.

You didn't know it but Lando was in London as well. He had a good relationship with your parents, having spent most of his childhood with them almost as much as his own parents. So, one night as you were getting ready for bed, you heard a knock.

"I'll get it," you called out to your parents as you made your way to the front door.

Lando stood there with a smile on his face. "Hi," was all he said as he couldn't help but burst into a laugh as he saw your confused look.

"What- What are you doing here?" You turned to look behind you before you took a step forward, closing the front door quietly. You were happy to see Lando though you certainly weren't expecting him to show up unannounced.

He gave you a shrug, "I heard you were here and I wanted to see you before the break ended."

Lando could see you weren't exactly happy with his explanation but he didn't care. He didn't want to wait any longer. He wanted to tell you how he felt about you. About everything. This was his grand romantic gesture.

-

The two of you ended up sitting on your parent's front porch for hours. Talking about everything that had happened over the summer, the conversation at first being very casual.

"Look, y/n, I-" Lando started but couldn't find the words. He took a deep breath, hoping to find courage with the inhale. "Okay, here goes-

After what happened that one night, I was a mess. I didn't know what was right so I just ignored you. And then I saw you with Charles and you seemed so happy and then we talked and I-

I love you, y/n, and not just a friend. And I know you're with Charles and I don't wanna come between you but I just can't not tell you how I feel. I already messed up once by not telling you so I just can't not say this right now."

Silence filled the air. You kept your eyes fixated on Lando but didn't say anything. You barely dared to breathe, afraid it might cause an explosion.

After what felt like an eternity for Lando, you got up from your spot. A fear crept down Lando's spine. This was it, he thought, now he lost you for good.

"I should head to bed, I have to get up early tomorrow," was all you could say. Thoughts spinning in your head, you were sure you wouldn't be able to get any sleep but you were certain you couldn't sit here any longer.

Lando got up as well and just stood there in silence as he watched you make your way inside.

"Goodnight, Lando."

With that, the door closed right in front of him and he could feel his life shattering into a million little pieces.

and i guess we fell apart in the usual way and the story's got dust on every page but sometimes i wonder how you think about it now and i see your face in every crowd

The sun was setting over the horizon. It was warm and the sky was painted in a beautiful color. It was a perfect ending for a perfect day.

You had your arm wrapped around Charles' as your head rested on his shoulder. The two of you walking down the streets of Monaco after having a nice dinner at a nearby restaurant.

You were happy but there was an unexplainable sense sneaking in slowly. It felt like a fire that was burning you inside out that started after you and Lando saw each during the grid get-together. And it kept getting worse and worse, your secret rendezvous in London not helping.

Charles came to a sudden stop. He had his gaze fixated on you, a look of concern plastered across his face. You thought maybe he had said something but when you asked, he just stood there quietly now holding both of your hands in his.

"Y/n, I've really enjoyed this time we've spent together," Charles started and you knew where this was going.

"I really care about you and like you, don't get me wrong. I wouldn't change a thing that has happened. But I can see how Lando looks at you and how you look at him."

Charles let go of your hands and there was an empty feeling left. You tried to say something but Charles pulled in for a hug.

"I don't wanna stand in between you and Lando, y/n. And I'm not angry or sad. I want what's best for you."

You understood where this was coming from. And surprisingly, you didn't feel sad, either. Your time with Charles had just ran its course. There was no bad blood between the two of you. Surely, you could stay friends after all this.

The two of you pulled away from your hug. Charles had a small smile on his lips that you reciprocated. Everything was okay.

-

The rest of your evening was spent walking around the streets aimlessly. Neither of you wanting to let go of these final moments together as something more than just friends but less than lovers before you ultimately had to.

small talk, he drives, coffee at midnight, the light reflects the chain on your neck, he says look up and your shoulders brush, no proof, one touch but you felt enough // you are in love, true love

The rain was pouring down with force and you were soaking wet. There was a tenseness in you as you stood outside Lando's apartment shivering, wondering if you should knock.

The door in front of you opened suddenly and you stood face to face with Lando. This time, the surprise was evident on his face as a small smile crept on yours.

"Hi," you said carefully, as if inspecting the situation.

It was getting cold in your drenched clothes and you were starting to shiver. Lando noticed that and rushed to pull you inside. He didn't want you to catch a cold, though he still didn't have any idea as to why were standing outside his apartment in the first place.

"Come on," he said, not wanting to push things but instead allowing you to say whatever you wanted on your own terms whenever you were ready. "Let's get you some dry clothes."

You followed Lando through his home, taking in your surroundings as if it was your first time visiting. As if you hadn't once spent almost half of your time here, with or without Lando. It felt strange to be back but it also felt like coming home.

Lando rummaged through his closet. You were fidgeting with your hands, nerves building up with each second.

"Here," Lando threw you pieces of clothing, "try these."

You caught them and stared at the clothes in your hands.

"You can go change in the bathroom if-" Lando started but you cut him off.

"I love you," was all you said before taking a deep breath. "I love you and I don't mean that as just a friend. I've loved you for you so long now and I hope I'm not too late in telling you this."

Silence filled the space. There was a gap between you and Lando but it soon closed as Lando rushed over to you, pulling you in for a kiss. His hands cupped your face and you relaxed into the warm feeling.

"You have no idea how long I've been waiting for you to say that," he said as he pulled away, his hands still on your cheeks.

A wide smile spread on your lips as you looked in to Lando's eyes. It felt like a dream to be standing here, after all this time and all that hardship it took you to get to this point. But you were happy. You both were happy. And in love.

[asmutwriter]

The Gangsta's Wife (Part 9)

DESCRIPTION: During you're time in the safe house you experience an event that'll likely cause your whole life to change.

WORD COUNT: 3110

From Beginning / Previous / Next / Master List  

WARNINGS: pregnancy, giving birth, swearing, really bad writing to be honest

DISCLAIMERS

This is fiction. Please always talk to your partner before doing anything and make sure they are ok with what you are doing beforehand

This story does not follow the timeline of the show

You'd been living in the safe house for a little under 2 months now. Celebrated Christmas and the New Year inside of it. You saw the man who delivered you new food every week on a Sunday. Edward his name was. Asking him to buy some specific things for your sisters so they could still have a somewhat normal Christmas, given the circumstances. It was quite nice being the three of you though. Over the winter you spent the short days reading, the long nights playing cards.

It was mid January, like any other Sunday. You sat in the living room. Reading a book. Only a few days left before February came around. Which you were greatful for. This month always seemed to last ages and summer would always seem so far away. A knock at the door. Elizabeth calls out.

"I'll get it" she says cheerfully. You stand up. A weird pain going through you as you stand. Letting out a small huff of air as you rub your stomach. Paying it no mind before walking over to the door. You see Edward outside. Brown paper bag with various bits in as he talks to Liz. Who keeps playing with her hair. You half smile at the scene before waddling over. He sees you, a smile on his face. Different to the one he gave your sister but you pay it no mind.

"You life saver" you say. Holding your hand out for the bag. He shakes his head.

"I don't think you should be carrying anything unnecessarily in your condition" he motions at your rather huge stomach.

"Is it really obvious that I'm pregnant?" he laughs as you comically push your stomach out. Motioning for him to come in. He goes to the kitchen. He'd been here plenty of times before so knew where to go. Placing the bag down onto the side.

"I even managed to get you-" he reaches into the bag. Pulling out two oranges.

"Oh my god yes" you hold a hand out, him passing it to you as he starts to empty the bag. That's when you feel it. The same sharp pain going through your side. You brace your hands on the counter. Furrowing your brow before the pain stops just as suddenly as it had started. Edward watches you

"You ok Mrs Shelby?" you nod. Standing back up again, rubbing your stomach.

"Yeah just peachy. Or should I say-" you hold the orange up again "Orangey". He rolls his eyes.

"I thought the dad was meant to say the bad jokes?" you laugh, starting to peel the fruit. Going to say something but the pain comes back. Harder this time. Ed stops what hes doing. Coming over to you as he steadies you. You bend forward. Grabbing his hand and clinging onto it as if your life depended on it. "Liz call the midwife" you see her running off.

"No" you call out. A small plea in your voice "please don't.... fuck!" you say. Hearing her speaking on the phone.

"Lets get you sat down" he says. Pulling out a dining chair as Liz runs back in, shortly followed by Mary.

"Midwife is on the way"

"Good. Flo just breath"

"What the fuck do you think I'm doing?" you shut your eyes. Rubbing your stomach as you speak in a low whisper. "Please get them out of this room" you say, almost as a sob. He nods. Motioning for your sisters to leave. SHhtting the door behind them to the kitchen. He comes and sits next to you. You dig your nails into the wood of the table.

"We- We should contact my husband"

"I can't do that" you look at him. Focusing on your breathing as you give him a questioning look. "Mr Shelby was very clear on his instructions. We do not contact him no matter what. To keep you, your child, and your sister safe". You chuckle slightly. A shaky breath out as you look away from him. Another contraction hitting you. You bend over slightly. Hand going to your stomach as your nails scratching the table before balling it into fists. Feeling the pain of your nails into the flesh of your palm.

Letting out a crying laugh as the pain subsides. Shaking your head slightly. "I'm having his baby and hes to fucking busy to come and see me"

"Its for your safety Mrs Shelby" you run a hand over your face. Pushing yourself up from your chair. Starting to pace. Ed stands too, hands outstretched like your a stray dog hes trying to tame. "I think you should remain sat down" you shake your head. Swaying on your feet side to side. Hearing the front door knock. Ed stands up. You shut your eyes as you hear the door open. The familiar voice of your midwife being heard.

She walks into the kitchen. Smiling at you as she places a medical bag onto the dining room table. "Its nice to see you again Mrs Shelby" you nod. Breathing deeply through your nose as she continues to speak. "Why don't we go to the bedroom for a little more privacy, hmm?" you nod.

Letting her take your arm as she leads you to the bedroom. You stay standing as she goes and and moves your pillows around for you.You stand as she does so, swaying softly as you shut your eyes. Ed following with the medical kit. She looks at him, taking the kit from him.

"Thank you" she smiles at him. He stands, hands placed neatly in front of him as he watches. She coughs slightly, causing him to look at her "I'm going to have to ask you to leave sir. There's no men allowed in the delivery room"

"I can't do that. I'm sorry ma'am" she turns to face him fully.

"I understand your concern. But my only aim for this visit is to deliver the baby safely. Your men have already checked my person. I am unarmed. Now I need you to leave so that I can do my job" he looks at her.

"I'll be just outside the door. If I hear anything unusual I will make no hesitation to come in here" she nods. Him turning tail and heading out the door. Shutting it behind him as your midwife faces you. A smile back on her face. "Why don't you come and lie down on the bed Mrs Shelby?"

"I don't want to lie down"

"I'll be able to help you a lot better if you lie down and let me have a look at whats happening".

"Is it to late to not have it?" she half smiles.

"Unfortunately so. Come on" she gently takes your shoulders. Leading you to the bed. Helping you up and lie down. Going between your thighs as she examines you. You shut your eyes as you breath.

"You're 4cm dilated"

"6 to go, right?" she nods. You shake your head. Turning your legs to go back over the bed. Standing up and pacing again. Gripping the end of the bed frame as another contraction hits. Screaming out. Dorothy (the midwife) coming over and comforting you. Rubbing firm yet gentle circles onto your lower back. She continues to rub onto your back. Massaging the pain away as best as she could.

"I want my husband" you say in a choked sob. "Please..."

"I can't do that Mrs Shelby. I'm sorry. What you need to focus on is getting this baby out. Do you think you can do that?" you shake your head.

"No. No I cant do it. I cant do this" you grip the bed frame tighter. Crying out again. "I need my husband... Please..." She waits for this contraction to pass before helping you to lie down onto the bed.. Dorothy checks how dilated you are.

"You're at 10cm my lovely"

"What the fuck does that mean?" you say. Hand coming up and covering your eyes.

"It means that you can start pushing for me. Count to 3 and give a really big push. 1, 2, 3 - that's it. Good girl. Do that one more time for me ok? 1, 2, 3 and push. Well done my lovely. The head is out. Hold it there. You're doing so well. Ok. Now do it one more time. Do you think you can do it? Come on. 1. 2. 3. Push. Keep pushing. Keep going. Well done. You did so well"

You pant. Eyes opening as you look. Dorothy clamping the two ends of the umbilical cord. Cutting it. Your eyes follow her as she holds your baby. Her rubbing its back. Unable to hear its cries a fear washes over you. "Is my baby ok?". As if on cue you start to hear its crying. A sigh of relief as she wraps the small human up in a blanket.

"Congratulations Mrs Shelby. You have a beautiful baby boy". You get handed him. A smile on your face as you look at the child you had made.

"Oh my god" you say in a soft whisper. Gently stroking the babes features. You feel Dorothy help clean everything up. Covering your lower regions before opening the door. You cant see it but Edward, Elizabeth, and Mary all wait outside the door. They come in. Edward checking to make sure everything seems well as Elizabeth and Mary rush to your side. Looking at your baby. A smile on your features as you look at the child.

"Have you thought of any names?"

"Yes. We were going to see if it was a boy or a girl first" you look up at her. "We're going to call him Charles" looking back down at the baby. "Charles Shelby" you whisper the name. Closing your eyes as you kiss his forehead.

-

5 months had passed. You were still in the safe house. Your midwife had stopped coming regularly around 4 months ago. Although she did tell you that if you had any further questions to contact the doctors. Edward was still coming every Sunday. Delivering you all food as you remained on lock down. Liz and Mary outside in the garden. Happy to be in the summer sun.

You were sat on the living room floor. Holding a toy that Edward had brought you as a gift for Charles. You play with it. Booping it onto the childs nose causing him to giggle. That's when you hear the front door open. Turning to look at the hallway. Edward wasn't meant to come round for another 3 days and the men patrolling your house never came in. You stand up. Picking up your child as you hold him close to you.

Rubbing his back as you make your way to the living room door. Poking your head round you see someone you weren't expecting.

"Thomas..." you whisper his name. Him examining the pictures on the wall. Turning to face you at hearing his name. He smiles at you. His cold stare growing warm as they meet yours. "I- I wasn't expecting you today" he nods.

"I told you I'd come and get you once the threat had been dealt with. So here I am".

"So we're safe to come back home?" he nods. You smile. Hugging the child you were holding close to you. Shutting your eyes as you rest your head against Charlie. "We can go home" you whisper. "We can go home". Kissing the side of his head. You open your eyes. Seeing your husbands eyes on the child your holding.

"Shit" you look between the two of them "shit yes. Tom meet your son. Charles" he comes over fully. The baby staring at him as he gently strokes the babes cheeks. This close proximity you get the scent of whiskey and cigarettes from your husband. The familiarity of it causing you to relax as he smiles at his child. The baby smiling back at him. Mimicking his dads expression.

"I've come to take you, your mum, and your aunties home. What do you say about that, ey?". You kiss your childs cheek before stroking his hair. Turning to Tommy.

"Could you hold him whilst I get the girls and our stuff please?". He nods without hesitation. Hands coming out as he takes your child. A genuine smile on his face as he takes him in his hold. The child looks at you, reaching a hand out. You take it. Kissing the back of his fingers.

"I will be back soon my love" kissing his fingers again. "You stay here with your dad, ok? I'll only be a minute" Stroking his cheek. He looks at his father. The hand you were holding goes to his dads cheek. An unsure but small smile comes over the youngers face. You stroke his hair again. Kissing the top of his head. "I'll be quick".

You're husband drives you all back home. Pulling up outside your house. The back doors open as your sisters get out. You grab the handle to open the car door. Stepping out as you hold your son. Liz and Mary grab your bags as well as their own as the start going into the house. You smile as you look at the familiar building.

Thomas comes over to you. A hand going gently to your upper arm as he looks at you. You turn your head. Meeting his ocean eyes. "I have a present for you". Your brow knits together as you look at him.

"What for?"

"Many reasons. To celebrate our one year anniversary, the birth of our son, Christmas, plus the fact that the threat that separated us is now gone for good" he pauses for a moment. Letting the words hit your ears

"What is it then?"

"That defeats the point of a present if I tell you, ey? All I ask is that you and Charlie get into the car and I'll take you to it" you don't move. Instead just watching him. Trying to read him. It had been a while so you were a little rusty. "Trust me, Florence". You nod slightly.

"I trust you Mr Shelby" he smiles. You move to the side as he reaches behind you. Grabbing the car door, opening it for you as you get in. Shutting it behind you before getting into the drivers seat. Charlie watches your husband as he loosens his tie. Pulling it up and over his head. Turning to face you as he holds it in his palms.

"You still trust me Mrs Shelby?". You look at the tie. Then looking at his eyes. His soft, pulling you in as they scan your features. "Do you?". He repeats. You bite the inside of your lip. Looking at the tie again before nodding. Looking back at his eyes he smiles. You wrap and arm around your son. Holding him close to you as Tommy brings the tie up. Wrapping it around your head and tying it in the back. You reach a hand out. Gently touching his shoulder "Is that comfortable?". You nod. Feeling him shift. The car engine starting. A rumble going through you and the vehicle as you feel it starting to move.

"Where are we going Mr Shelby?"

"You're going to have to wait and see". You feel his hand go to your leg. Squeezing it softly before moving back again. Your hand remaining on his shoulder as a form of security for you.

You're unsure of how much time goes by before the car comes to a stop. He removes your hand from his shoulder. Placing it to join the other one wrapped around Charles. Hearing the door beside you opening. You feel him remove the child from your lap before a hand comes out and takes yours. Helping you step out the car.

"You know, making your blindfolded wife get out of a car whilst she wears heels may not be the best idea you've ever had". A chuckle escapes him. Causing you to smile "Well I'm glad you're enjoying yourself at this image"

"Very much so" he says. You can hear the smirk in his voice as you successfully get out the car. He turns you. Bringing your arms up as he places Charlie back into your arms. Not letting him go fully until he knows you have a good hold on him. Feeling him move behind you. You move your head, tilting it so you can hear him better when he speaks. "Are you ready?". You nod. Feeling his hands come up. Untying the tie around your eyes. Taking it and placing the material in his pocket.

You blink a few times. Eyes becoming re-accustomed to the light. Feeling his hands gently rest onto your upper arms. You hold Charlie as you manage to focus on a house standing before you. No. Better described as a mansion. He leans near your ear. Speaking into it. "Welcome to our new home - Arrow House"

"Our- Did you just say our home?" he nods. His hands still resting on your arms. Holding you as you whisper "This is ours...?" Scared if you speak any louder you might break the magical atmosphere. A smile on his face as drops your arms. He comes round to the front of you. Outstretching a hand, to which you take. Holding Charlie still.

Awestruck as he goes up to the front door. Leading you with him. Opening it you go inside the beautiful entrance way. "Your fucking kidding me" you say. Adjusting Charlie on your hip. Looking up at the grand staircase. He watches you. His hands placed comfortably in front of him. "This is a joke right? This is a friends house that you've borrowed or something"

"I had some spare money left over that I needed to spend. Given the circumstances of your pregnancy I thought it only made sense to buy us a house. One that could accommodate for us"

"Fuck me..." you whisper. He takes out a cigarette. Rolling it over his lips. Taking out a lighter and lighting the end. Drawing a drag from it before removing it from his lips. Placing the lighter back into his pocket.

"We have room for a few maids which should be starting at the end of the week. I've got a few cars to come by to deliver your personal items. They should be arriving later today" he places it back in his mouth.

"You've really set a high bar for presents. You realise that Mr Shelby?" he smiles. Watching as you bring a hand up. Feeling joyfully overwhelmed.

Previous / Next

TAGS

@whorecrux-of-slytherin @kkrenae @ireallydontcareanymorebrooo @frozenhuntress67

[yanderes-galore]

I’d like to see some yandere romantic concept for Sunset Shimmer from MLP please! I love her so much I need something for her! 😍

Can confirm as a fellow Sunset Shimmer fan I adore her too. Been awhile since I've seen Equestria Girls so I'm sorry if she's OOC. This concept takes place in the Human World since I don't do much of those.

Took a classic yandere take with this. Not fully proofread, expect mistakes!

Yandere! Sunset Shimmer Concept

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Manipulation, Fear of abandonment implied, Jealousy, Stalking, Clingy behavior, Violence, Threats/Threats of murder, Brief blood mention, Kidnapping, Isolation, Forced relationship.

Obviously Sunset Shimmer's yandere type changes depending on if she's a villain or not.

I'll be looking at reformed Sunset Shimmer in this concept, so her after the first movie.

She is the leader of the group when Twilight isn't in the human world.

She's in charge of any magic spikes or magical problems in general.

She knows not a lot of people like her due to what she's done... but she's trying to get better!

She's trying to build her confidence and acts very kind to those around her.

She writes to Twilight often about her findings.

She's intelligent and compassionate... but can lose her composure and temper easily.

Sunset Shimmer tries her best to be a good person... she even manages to make a new friend.

You!

My idea was that Sunset Shimmer's obsession makes her relapse into her old behavior a bit.

She's better now but occasionally might find herself giving into a more selfish and manipulative side.

Her relapsing is unnoticeable to her at first... but soon she realizes it the more she's around you.

When she met you she realized you two get along well.

You often hang out at each other's homes and play games, talk, and just enjoy each other.

Soon Sunset Shimmer starts to develop feelings for you....

You have no clue about her true origins as a Unicorn but she doesn't really plan on telling you... right off.

She's still curious and stunned by her new feelings towards you.

She... she hasn't felt so warm towards anyone before... let alone like this.

She struggles on if she should let Twilight know about such a thing.

Speaking of which... Sunset Shimmer, as Twilight's student, may have a similar yandere type to the princess.

She wants to learn all about her new feelings, she notes everything down about you...

Perhaps even follows you around to an obsessive degree.

She plays it all off as just being clingy.

After all... she's been through a lot... so surely you'll forgive her, right?

Originally doesn't mind you around her group of friends... but soon she ends up jealous.

She may eventually try writing to Twilight... saying she feels overly obsessive and controlling towards you...

However... maybe midway through the letter... she stops.

Why should Twilight know?

What if Twilight sees her affection for you as a bad thing.

What if she takes you away?

As a result, Sunset Shimmer never tells Twilight.

Sun Shim's friends get concerned when they see her always ask about you.

She even glares at people around you... a fire igniting within her whenever she sees others speak to you.

Eventually Sunset Shimmer may give into her darker desires.

The demonic grasp on her heart appears again.

Soon she's threatening others around you and slowly controlling you to spend more time with her.

She tries to ignore the violent thoughts she has... but soon she may act upon those too.

Eventually she confesses to you... opening her heart to you in hopes you'll accept.

If you don't... she doesn't take it well.

In fact... her heart tells her to take you.

To tie you up... to lock you away...

To hide all the evidence of her obsession... no matter how much blood is on her hands.

She apologizes next time she comes to your home... knocking you out and catching you softly.

She doesn't tell a soul once she takes you home and sits you on a bed.

Twilight doesn't need to know... her friends don't need to know...

If anyone asks she'll get rid of them.

You two are meant to be together... she just knows it.

Her dark desires pour into her heart once again... she can't help but kiss you softly when she sees you wake up.

To your dismay... it doesn't seem like she changed at all from before... she's still a selfish demon who only cares for herself in the end.

[birdiesaves]

THE MARTIAN ( novel by andy weir ) change as necessary !

mankind reaching out to send people to another planet for the very first time and expand the horizons of humanity blah, blah, blah. 

i’m pretty much fucked. 

they got the parades and fame and love of the world, i got a firm handshake and a hot cup of coffee when i got home.

i would only be “in command” of the mission if i were the only remaining person.

what do you know? i’m in command.

it wasn’t your fault. you did what you had to do. 

in your position i would have done the same thing. 

it was a ridiculous sequence of events that led to me almost dying.

everyone thinks i’m dead. 

ok, i’ve had a good night’s sleep, and things don’t seem as hopeless as they did yesterday.

i won’t be able to whip something up with tinfoil and gum.

fear my botany powers!

but hey, time is the one thing i’ve got.

i wonder if they'll ever find out what really happened.

i’ll spare you the math. the answer is _________

bleh. i’m going to bed

my life depends on you

i played a lot of dungeons and dragons.

i have an idiotically dangerous plan 

i suppose i’ll think of something. or die.

the answer is: i don’t know.

all i accomplished today was thinking up a plan that’ll kill me

also, i have duct tape. 

after a search of everyone’s personal items i found my answer.

that was sarcasm, by the way.

this all sounds like a great idea with no chance of catastrophic failure.

do you have any idea the magnitude of shitstorm this is gonna be?

how come aquaman can control whales? they’re mammals! 

i expected it to be cold, but jesus christ!

now, on to my next task: sitting around with nothing to do for 12 hours.

i ask for a picture and i get the fonz?

the whole world’s been rooting for you. 

really looking forward to not dying. 

please watch your language.

sorry we left you behind, but we don't like you.

you're sort of a smart-ass.

your request for “anything, oh god anything but disco” is denied.

no. you’ll fuck it up and die.

i took it apart, found the problem, and fixed it.

i don’t see anything... i can hear it, but... it’s down here somewhere, but i don’t know where.

the subtle and refined “hurl my body at the wall” technique had some flaws. 

named after the greek goddess who traveled the heavens with the speed of wind. she's also the goddess of rainbows.

i'm not giving up. just planning for every outcome. it's what i do.

your poster outsold the rest of ours combined.

why are you such a nerd?

you should try to be more cool. wear dark glasses and a leather jacket. carry a switchblade.

you started my training by buying me a beer.

so now i have to do boring-ass experiments with test tubes and zzzzzzzzzz....

frankly, i suspect you're a super villain.

just once i'd like something to go to plan, ya know?

no? ok... what was that!? oh, nothing? ok...

for now i just want to go home.

there's always hope

are we just watching a tragedy play out?

you’ll survive this. i don't know how, but you will. 

i've defiled enough historical sites for now.

tomorrow night, i'll sink to an all new low!

tomorrow night, i'll be at rock bottom!

be a smart-ass to a guy seven levels above you. see how that works out.

i remember when you were shy

the attitude comes with the job

and by “enjoying” i mean “hating so much i want to kill people.”

there aren't many people who can say they've vandalized a three billion dollar spacecraft. but i'm one of them.

what's our role in all this? if something goes wrong, what can we do?

how do you come up with this shit?

i admit it's fatally dangerous, but consider this: i'd get to fly around like iron man.

i need you to come back in and make a bomb.

i knew that guy was a mad scientist!

i think we should just go with my iron man idea.

well if you won't let us then- wait... wait a minute... i'm looking at my shoulder patch and it turns out i'm the commander. 

give me a minute. you're the first person i've seen in ______.

i think about the sheer number of people who pulled together just to save my sorry ass, and i can barely comprehend it.

i represent progress, science, and the interplanetary future we’ve dreamed of for centuries. 

they did it because every human being has a basic instinct to help each other out. it might not seem that way sometimes, but it’s true.

yes, there are assholes who just don’t care, but they’re massively outnumbered by the people who do. 

[level2janitor]

grid-combat sandbox thing!

i get distracted with new projects a lot, but lately my brain's been hyperfocused on one in particular. i wanted to take a crack at combining 4e-style tactical combat with OSR-style sandbox play, which on the surface seem like entirely opposite directions. and they kind of are, but i think i have something

since i started work on it i ended up dropping the words "OSR" and "4e" from my descriptions of it bc i think they end up evoking the wrong image. there's a lot that's core to both playstyles that i'm omitting to make it play nicer with the other playstyle. but it's far along enough now that i can talk about some of the design philosophy and how that manifests.

little to no scaling

the traditional way modern D&D (and to an extent even old-school D&D) handles progression is with big numerical scaling. a level 2 PC has nearly twice as much HP/damage as a level 1 PC. so you scale monsters to match, because the PCs have to get into fights around their level for the game to work.

skeletons are a real danger at 1st-level. they're manageable by 3rd, easy by 5th, and a joke by 7th-level. so you just stop running into skeletons, and when you're nearing the end of that level range any skeleton encounters that do happen will have a lot of skeletons.

this is bad for sandboxes! say i'm preparing a sandbox setting ahead of time and have a dungeon with a bunch of skeletons in it somewhere. i don't know what level the PCs will find it at - depending on whether they go through it as a 2nd-level or 6th-level party, it might be incredibly easy or so dangerous there's little they can do to mitigate that difficulty. or i'll just have to redo my encounter math the moment they find it, and that sucks for both the GM and players.

so, big numerical scaling is out. there's levels, you level up, but most of what you get from that level-up is a new ability. not a big pile of hit points and more damage. there's some scaling, your numbers are like twice as big at 10th-level compared to 1st-level, but it's a small enough range that a hard encounter at 1st-level will stay relevant throughout a whole campaign.

the game's far along enough i can create & fully level a fighter PC, so i made a 1st and 10th-level (max) character and put them side-by-side to get a feel for the scaling.

the warrior class

speaking of, the first class i made is the fighter, obviously. it's always the first thing i want to get right if i'm making a D&D-like system.

this is a good showcase of what each class is going to end up looking like: you start with a few core features & two perks (3 for warrior bc i like them being customizable). warrior perks range from a few unique moves to useful passives that let you resist statuses, strike multiple enemies, move further, equip heavier gear, parry weak attacks, etc.

the two core features, versatile fighter & combat opportunist, are designed to reward you for engaging in core combat mechanics. you get bonuses to attack from high ground, and this increases that bonus. every weapon has a unique special move you can do with it, and this lets you use any weapon you have with no cost to switch.

i've never liked the way most D&D-likes handle weapons, where you design your build around one specific weapon. you invest all your feats into being The Polearm Guy and when you find a cool magic warhammer or dagger you're just like. well i don't want this. it's not a polearm. so this fighter is instead designed to encourage you to carry around a ton of different weapons and use all of them.

exploration & the ranger

i used to hang out in the 5e community a lot, and people hated the 5e ranger. why? cause nobody used the travel rules, and you can't really blame them. the game has rules for how far you can travel each day, for random encounters & whether they ambush you, foraging, encumbrance, different travel speeds.

but most people who play 5e don't want that kind of experience, and 5e half-commits to it by leaving these rules scattered through the dungeon master's guide and making them too tedious. everything's measured in real numbers - miles, minutes, pounds. you track weight with pounds instead of item slots. of course nobody wants to track encumbrance when they have to stop the game to ask the GM how many pounds the macguffin weighs. nobody wants to dig through the DMG looking for the rule that tells you how many miles you can move. it just gets in the way and stops the game, so nobody does.

all of this screws over the ranger class which gives you bonuses to things like travel speed, not being ambushed while traveling, finding more rations, and tracking. people disliked the ranger so much that a supplement came out that replaced all of their exploration features with naturey combat features and some skill boosts, and since then that's the actual ranger when anyone wants to play one.

with that context, here's the exploration features my game's ranger gets.

the feature on the left is inherent while the right two are perks. there's combat features, but they're not part of the point i wanted to make.

the ranger needs to feel useful, and for that, the exploration needs to be front and center. so what better game than one designed for sandboxes?

i don't want this to be the kind of big-damn-heroes game where you skip to the next setpiece because the travel is boring. the travel is the game. that's where the OSR influence comes in.

you track rations. it's important - if a place is far from civilization, it feels like it because there's nowhere safe nearby to restock rations.

you track encumbrance. deciding how much space to spend on arrows and rations, and how much to spend on treasure, means more decision-making.

you do hexcrawling, you track time, and you care how many days a journey takes because the world changes as time passes. enemies & other factions progress their schemes, new developments come up. so sometimes you go, wow, good thing we have a ranger - we can move 3 hexes today instead of 2!

the ranger is better at foraging rations so you can venture further into the wilderness, better at moving your party faster, better at keeping watch. i want that to matter! i can envision it being so satisfying to play a ranger and constantly come in handy. and i want parties without a ranger to wish they had one in a way that isn't just tedious.

so hopefully that gives you a good idea of the sandboxy direction for this game. will be posting about it more as i make progress, and gonna continue to support iron halberd in between this sort of thing

[ragnarokhound]

hey sweetie how are you. I made banana bread for breakfast tomorrow but DON’T touch it till then, it won’t be as good

there’s a post going around about the dynamic of a guard dog character, a lamb, and a wolf (one wants to possess and protect the lamb, one wants to devour it). How do you think jaytimkon fits in this?

ps… 10 things i hate about you? thoughts?

hey sweetie, i'm pretty good uwu had a nice day yesterday walking around my neighborhood with a friend! <3 And ough herrghh mrregghh gragghhhh (<- actively holding myself back from tearing into the banana bread immediately, i'll be strong for you bb but know that you are testing my limits in new and exciting ways)

Putting my responses to both (!! >:0) the jaytimkon and 10 Things ideas under a cut because *deep sigh* it got long lol

BRUH. BRUHHHHHHH. You cannot simply say this to me. You Cannot. Simply. SAY THIS TO ME, YOU'RE NOT SLICK

Once again testing my limits in new and exciting ways because I have a different WIP deadline fast approaching so I simply cannot write more for my actively inspired by guard dog x lamb x wolf jaytimkon WIP to SHOW YOU, in DETAIL, EXACTLY how i think jaytimkon fits into this, BUT

My feelings on this are many, and partially answered in these asks already. But I'll reiterate that they are all three facets simultaneously, baby. Depending on who's talking, they think of themselves as this, that, or the other; the loving, vigilant protector - the helpless, vulnerable bleeding heart - the hungry, slinking interloper. The story I have been brooding over for almost a year now (egads) WILL feature a somewhat slowburn where each of them takes turns realizing which one they are and slowly changing their minds as the narrative progresses and their relationship heats up 🔥w🔥BUT BE PATIENT BECAUSE I SURE HAVE TO BE (*whining and whimpering i crave this banana bread)

P.S. I love the taming of the shrew, and it's absolutely perfect jaytim material are you KIDDING. Cramming two different concepts into one ask. Evil. Diabolical. I love my wife.

10 Things I Hate About You is such a fun movie, and I could honestly see the role of Kate being played equally well by either Tim or Jason lol, and in a somewhat reverse robins style, Dick taking on the role of Bianca. Wally or Kori or [Your Choice Here] in the role of Cameron, wanting to date him. In fact, ohhhh OHHHH okay. Okay bear with me while i cook--

Consider Oldest Child Dick Grayson-Wayne who is super popular, super well loved, everyone wants to date him - but he always begs off because he doesn't want his younger brother, Jason, to be left in the lurch. Standoffish, bookish, i-heard-he-did-time, 'whats it to you' Jason, who has maybe two friends but they go to a different school so he doesn't have anyone to sit with at lunch besides his charming older brother. Dick's party line is, "If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my bro. Good luck! :)" (Something something, Dick and Jason are both adopted, something something Dick doesn't actually wanna date anyone, send tweet)

NOW. Fast forward to when Dick meets someone he might actually want to date. But to keep the ravenous hordes away from him, he still, regretfully, must stick to his guns. Jason needs to be dating/friends with/hanging out with/etc someone else before he and this person (again, Your Dickship of Choice Here) can boogie down.

Cue Dick nudging Jason out of the blue to strike out on his own and Jason getting squinty-eyed suspicious (and secretly a little hurt) that Dick apparently sees him as some kind of burden to be offloaded or whatever. Thanks bro. :(

Thus, Dick and his prospective SO hatch a Scheme. A Scheme to see Jason Woo'd in such a way to keep the heat off Dick from both the collective horny student body AND his sensitive younger brother. Enter Tim Drake.

Tim transferred this year and people have been speculating like crazy about him. His grades are insane so people think he'll be a nerd, but he skateboards to school so people think he'll be a stoner, but he's crazy athletic so people think he'll be trying out for the swim team or something - but mostly? People don't know shit. He's friendly enough, but stays apart. An enigma. Cuts school at least twice a week, hasn't seemed to pick any one crowd with which to integrate, is unaffiliated with any one piece of the greater student body. The most anyone can really tell is that he's just a little unhinged and strapped for cash. He'll pull some crazy stunts - if you've got the money.

Which makes him perfect.

Cue Shakespearean shenanigans leading to Some Asshole (your choice of Dick notp here) offering to pay Tim if he dates Jason Todd-Wayne. Tim thinks it's kinda stupid and an asshole move at first, but apparently the money is too good for him to pass up. So he bites.

Tim stalkers his way into interacting with Jason (something something Jason shoving Tim against the wall outside a 7-11 after school and snarling in his face, "i know you're following me. the fuck do you want" and Tim smirking at him, "to ask you out." Jason blinking, then dropping him like he's been burned. "Bullshit." Tim shrugging and running to catch up, falling into step beside him. "It's the truth." Huge Jason side-eye.) and events spiral from there.

(Vulnerable conversations. Jason: People look at me like I'm trash. Like I'm one bad day away from snapping and proving that they were right not to trust me all along. Like I don't have feelings that matter. I like that you're not scared of me. I like that you seem to fuckin'... like me. Or whatever. But I don't know how to trust it. Tim: People only want me around when they think they can get something out of me. They don't like me just what I can do for them. You've never made me feel like that. You don't give a shit about what I can do. It makes me want to-- it makes me want to give you things. To do things for you. I dunno. I guess I'm just waiting for you to tell me to fuck off and finally mean it.)

The reveals go badly. Hurt and betrayal on every side. (Turns out Tim needed the money because his mom's dead, dad's in a coma, and the family company that was supposed to keep Tim afloat has gone belly up. All of his parents' money is tied up in trusts and behind red tape. He's on his own.) Jason is pissed at Tim, but pissed at Dick especially.

The brothers fight. It's a doozy. Dick apologizes for going over Jason's head and manipulating things. Jason apologizes for being an asshole and making Dick feel like he has to be the responsible golden child 24/7, and also for punching Dick in the face. They promise to do better. Then Jason tracks Tim down to his shitty apartment (Tim had seemed super nervous the one time Jason had tried to come home with him, and now he thinks he knows why) and bangs on his door. He hasn't been to school in over a week.

They fight. It's great.

("What you did was shitty." "Yeah." "I don't forgive you for it." "...yeah." "So you better start thinking about how you're gonna fuckin' make it up to me." "Y-yeah?" "Yeah. Like fuck I'm missing prom this year when I finally have a fuckin' boyfriend.") (Now kiss)

[don't ask me how old they are/what grades they're in. i simply do not want to contemplate it. i'd call this a college au for my own sanity, but the very premise and interest in social hierarchies is just so inherently high school that it would fall apart lmfao]

[leonsthunderthighs]

Chapstick

WAAHHH I MISSED WRITING SO MUCH AND I MISSED YOU GUYS. Literally don't know what happened- I guess I got hit by a HARD writers block </3 I'm hoping I'll continue to write more often. (Also this story has been sitting in my drafts so I cleaned it but if you see any mistakes, no you don't)

☆RE4 Remake Leon Era!

☆⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ⋆☆

Leon relaxed on the couch with an arm behind his head and a book in his spare hand. His calm blue eyes shifted along the lines taking in every word on the pages as his blonde brows slightly furrowed in concentration. Strands of his hair were highlighted from the soft yellow and orange hues from the open windows. The warm sunlight kept the house perfectly lit as it highlighted the pages. It captivated him, seeing the ink within the paper form into intricate images as if it was all right there in front of him. The words guiding his thoughts, from day to night and characters exchanging words within simple quotation marks.

His focus was broken once he heard a familiar voice speak up to him.

"Wanna try somethin'?

You asked with a mischievous smile pursed on your lips. Leon's gaze shifted on you clearly hiding something from him behind your back.

"Hm, depends on what you have in mind." He said with a smile slowly matching yours, he places down his book with the pages against the table, saving the story for later. He shifted his legs allowing you to sit in front of him, but tempted to have you sit on his lap letting you as close to him as possible. Leon watched you sit in front of him in curiosity, wondering what you're planning in that head of yours.

"Alright, I put on different chapsticks and you have to guess the flavor for each one." You explained, keeping each flavor hidden behind you.

"Do I get hints?" He asked raising a brow, his delicate gaze watched you attentively.

"Hmm, I'll think about it. Now close your eyes, and don't even think about peeking." He chuckled quietly as he obeyed you and closed his eyes, keeping his smug smile on his face. You leaned closer to his face, but took your time purely admiring his serene state. His features were perfectly structured, the height of his cheekbones, the dark circles under his eyes making the blues more iridescent, the small freckles on his cheeks and his pretty lips that always has something smart to say.

The both of you sat at such an intimate proximity, his hands comfortably rested on your knees as your smile grew more eager.

Your lips drew closer together letting the space between you grew smaller, enough for him to catch the familiar scented chapstick lingering around your lips.

"Thats my cherry chapstick."

You sucked your teeth and wiped your lips with the collar of your shirt.

"That was the easy one, how about this one?" You followed the same process with a different chapstick as Leon kept his eyes closed. His thumbs mindlessly rubbed circular patters against your skin as the feeling made you smile. Every fiber of his being wanted to kiss you, but he didn't want to use his hint already and besides, this little game you had was quickly growing on him.

"Watermelon?"

He cocked his head to the side slightly as his brows furrowed a bit. The flavor felt awfully familiar, recognizing the sweet smell.

"Mhm but you'll never guess this one." Your lips met the collar of your shirt again as you evenly applied a new balm across your smile.

The sweet scent enticed him, his lips barely brushing against yours but your hands resting on his shoulders held him back, making him groan.

"It would count as your hint baby," you spoke in a voice barely above a whisper. He could practically feel your smug grin against his eager ones.

"I need a hint."

Leon's voice was small as his lips parted, waiting with bated breaths. Your hands rose to the back of his head running your fingers through his sandy blonde strands of hair. His hair wasn't coarse or rough, instead it was soft and cared for. You loved playing with his hair and everytime you did, Leon would simply melt in your touch and hum in content as you would brush your fingers through his hair.

Ardently Leon pressed his lips against yours and took everything in. This one had a much different smell and taste than the others, it was less sharp than cherry but held a different sweetness than watermelon, yet it felt vaguely familiar.

Your lips separated leaving Leon deep in thought.

"Did you get it?" Your words gave his skin goosebumps, making his eyes flutter open. He focused his senses on the flavor lingering on his lips and the scent of the balm around his nose as if he was reading ink on paper, forming some sort of idea of what it could be in his head.

"I don't know, I've never tasted that one before..." Leon's gaze focused on your peachy lips as you spoke. His voice was at a volume only you could hear, as they were only for you.

"It's strawberry sweetheart"

"I think it might be my favorite one"

☆⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾⋆☆

[al-hekima-madara-blog]

Tobirama birth chart (headcanon)

Tobirama is a headcanon I've procrastinated a lot because as a Madara hardcore fan, of course I'm not enthusiast about the Second hokage. But hey! I need to conclude the cycle of founders birth's chart. And I swear, I'll be fair play !

I strongly advise you to read Madara and Hashirama's chart. For this birth chart, I'll go a little bit more technical in astrology. We will talk briefly about rulerships, aspects and synastry. I'll try to explain as simple as possible but if you don't understand don't hesitate to ask me more precision in comments. Ok let's go:

Based on the official databook, Tobirama Senju is born the 19th of february which made him a 0° pisces. At first glance, it's an intriguing choice. Pisces is the last sign of the zodiac traditionally described as encompassing all the previous ones. Pisces is compassionate, creative, mystical. It talks about total acceptance, the dissolution of the ego. The drop of water reaching the ocean and merging with the divine before moving to a new cycle : a new aries. Actually in the beginning of Christianity it's not a mistake that Jesus was associate with Pisces symbol. It's the same self-sacrificing figure for a transcendent cause. We agree that it seems far... far away from the rational and composed Tobirama...

It seems that I need to articulate a coherent idea between his sun (ego), his rising sign( body) and his mars (action). Say in a different way, this triptych talks about public image. The king comes with a vision (sun), he shows himself to the public wearing a formal dress, an etiquette, a way to behave in public (ascendant/rising sign) and defend its vision with the help of a general (mars).

☉ Sun : Ego – Branding to the world

♓ Pisces

Some clues shows an association of Tobirama with pisces : his element is suiton. His blue charadesign, he's also one of the strongest sensor of the verse capable of recognising chakra kilometres around, determine their ancestry ect... and what is a sensor? but a shinobi using his empathy as a tool? More trivial he's favourite dish is fresh fish from the river. But I think what shows the most his affinity with this sign is his self-sacrifice nature for this new entity that was the village in a time when people were strongly clan-oriented. It's something no one could believes possible, it only existed inside Hashirama's mind. You truly needed to have faith on him to invest all your energy on it. If we go back to Tobirama's speeches, he always justify his actions for the village. We can almost say that he had a religious devotion for his brother's dream and he gave his life for it. He's never seen coming with a vision different from Hashirama's (contrary to Madara), actually like a zealous servant to a higher cause he's ready to kill immediately anyone threatening this village when he clashed with Sasuke for suggesting he might destroy Konoha depending on the answers he got to his questions. But I'll talk deeper about the Uchiha's obsession later in the moon part. The moment when Hashirama strongly forbid his brother to attack Sasuke was also the moment when everybody knew who's actually the boss and who obey. Tobirama was a faithful follower of Hashirama's will and dedicated his life to translate it into a realistic project (using his mercury and mars).

In a more positive light, anyone accepting the will of fire are nurtured and loved even if they are Uchiha like Kagami. Tobirama had a strong attachment to his students, much more that his brother. I know it seems strange but from the first time he appeared, Tobirama was the one always calling Hiruzen Sarutobi by his pet name "Saru" meaning monkey in japanese, or his other student "my dear Danzo". Hashirama is a goofy character, but doesn't seem to have such proximity with them even if he loved Tsunade, he immediately doubted her ability as a hokage. Later during the war, Tobirama is also the one always complimenting or supporting the new generation : He acknowledged Minato as being faster than him, Naruto for having the potential to be a stronger hokage than his older brother.

Ascendant/Rising Sign : Social personality – Physical Body

♍Virgo

the image that come to my mind when I think of Tobirama is an ocean surrounded with a giant dam. The mass of water is controlled, accurately measured, divided and distributed only when necessary. But, you might ask, can we really controlled the immensity of an ocean with a river dam? Of course not! but what matter in a rising sign is to display the illusion of control.

Virgo is the sign coming to correct the extravagant of Leo. End of august, mid September is the period of the year in the northern hemisphere with the best natural light. Not too hot , not too bright. Soft and round with million nuances of gold, orange and red. Traditionally it's also the time of harvest when you need to select and separate the wheat from the chaff. It's a sign that excel in precision, expertise, high fashion but in the bad side can tends to be narrow-minded because the devil is in the detail.

Rising virgo also talk about his physical appearance. Virgo is concerned about good health, best routine. Usually they are in good shape, average height unless the ruler of Virgo which is mercury is place in a sign with difficult aspect. And what set appart Tobirama from all the other founders is his charadesign flattering his albino's appearance. The cool colours of grey and blue, the fluffiness, it shows a natural sense of elegance without being extravagant for a shinobi.

And also the Senju are filthy rich, Hashirama have a strange (Madara would say ugly) sense of style, but Tobirama was like : "I may not be the most powerful in this house but I'm wealthy and smart, so does my style. And I will die on this hill."

☿ Mercure : Intellect – Communication

♒ Aquarius

I must find an explanation of the over analytical aspect of Tobirama. He's to Hashirama what Shikamaru would be later to Naruto : his brain.

Mercury in Aquarius is a big thinker, able to make atypical discovery, out of the norm and also subversive. Tobirama is the inventor of Edo Tensei which I remind you need to make a human sacrifice. In which condition Tobirama came to the creation of this forbidden jutsu ? And even during the 4th Shinobi war, he learned nothing from his past mistakes and proposed to sacrifice again someone else to bring back Madara and extort from him intels about Kaguya.

Aquarius as a fix air sign has the tendency to be stubborn and certain of their philosophy. Many people believe that the sign of Aquarius is humanitarian then nice by nature. Not always... Aquarius avoids emotional approach. It rather privileges logic, rationality to dissect human society. And it doesn't shy away from experimentation. The long lists of jutsu created by Tobirama is a proof of his brilliant mind.

♂ Mars : Action - Desire

Mars : Gemini

Reading again the 4th shinobi war and trying to focus on The Second Hokage rather than Madara was a difficult exercise but it helps me see his role in the war differently. He's one of the most important support character. If you remember my analysis of Hashirama's mars in taurus, the first hokage is a powerhouse ( a bit like Gojo in JJK) and thus tends to fight alone or one-on-one with Madara. Hashirama strength is to resist prolonged attacks and controlled someone else chakra. Yet his power is tremendous and can change the geography.

Tobirama has a different style. Although a powerful shinobi who can fight alone, he rarely does. He immediately fits with any partners he's close too. Hashirama, Minato, Naruto, Sasuke. He's often the one observing, testing and explaining a jutsu and reminding that HE created most of them 😂. On the spot, he also invented a way to save Sasuke's life with Kabuto.

Reason why I choose mercury in aquarius and mars in gemini is that he thinks as fast as he moves. in his chart mercury and mars form a trine which is considered a favourable aspect. being in the same air element, his mind and his action are flowing smoothly. Before Minato, he was considered the fastest of his generation.

Madara noted that his favourite way was to strike last moment when his opponent lower his guard. This cunning strategy is befitting mars in Gemini . This is traditionally represented as twins both crafty and fickle. Tobirama adapts to any situation, any war companions even those from the new generation he barely knows and immediately comes up with a new tactic.

I believe this adaptability is a direct consequence of fighting Izuna for years. We know that the sharingan can copy any technique except kekkei genkai. Hashirama can protect himself behind the mokuton but not Tobirama. If a technique is used once in front of an Uchiha he can't use it anymore and lost the surprise effect. Also the Sharingan can predict a movement. Tobirama found a way to outperform the sharingan by blizz speed with the Flying Thunder God Technique. Fighting Tobirama must be a terrifying experience, rest in peace Izuna😭. Imagine, he's there... then disappeared. then strikes and you only notice him when you know it's too late.

☾Moon : Emotion – Comfort zone

♒ Aquarius

If you remember in my previous HC charts, moon is easily guessed by childhood because children tend to be more lead by their emotions than adults. In volume 65, Tobirama was shown to be already a serious child, ready to defend his older brother from his father. Maybe the violent outburst of his father taught him early in life that the best way to deal with people is self-control, and strict procedures. And that's something that he often admonished his brother or his students. It's not that you shouldn't feel, but to him you have to keep your emotions in check.

Moon in Aquarius intellectualises emotions, and sometimes distance themselves from them. They can treat friends like family member since they believe in brotherhood beyond blood relative. Tobirama did everything to distance from the Senju heritage, he suggested a democratic election for choosing the first hokage and after his death the Senju ceased to hold power in Konoha, it diluted into the will of fire. In Aquarius there is this idea of giving privilege to the people rather than some monarchy (which is the leo's way).

Remember when I've talked about an ocean falsely controlled by a dam ? If the weather is nice it works but what will happened if one day a (red) full moon provoke a super tide able to engulf the dam and flood the world ? Nothing can control the chaos of emotion, it always moves somewhere and erupts somewhere else.

Moon talks about your emotion but also your irrational fear. And paradoxically Tobirama never checked his obsession of the Uchiha and this blindness caused many of the darkness that befall the Konoha he cared so much.

I said earlier that his fear of the sharingan was a driving force behind many of his inventions. Also Tobirama had an epidermic detestation for Madara. And the funny part is that it's not really reciprocal. Yet Madara had got all reason to be obsessed by vengeance since Tobirama killed his last brother but after he accepted the truce and created Konoha, he was willing to « tolerate » Tobirama's presence, but the younger Senju was unwilling to do the same gesture and kept his obsession to control Madara or any Uchiha willingly to follow his path. The databook says also that Anbu was specially created by Tobirama to put the Uchiha under surveillance.

We need to ask ourselves what an aquarius moon would hate the most ? As an air moon, this sign is unease with strong display of emotion, narcissism, drama... something typical of its opposite sign leo. An opposition is annoying but you can deal with it more or less. Aquarius also square 90° to scorpio. A square is considered as a strong source of tension than an opposition. Scorpio is ruled by mars. This sign thrives in passion, struggles, crisis, war, violence and transformation throught strong emotional turmoil. All those energies are challenging, and exhausting for an aloof, etheral and conceptual moon in aquarius.

Taurus is also a square to Aquarius, the lazy nature of this steady sign, rooted in tradition, is hard for an Aquarius interested by innovations and futuristic perceptive.

Now let's introduce a little bit of synastry. The art of synastry is to compare two charts and to gauge their compatibility. It's often use for couple or parent/children but what if we apply it to enemies?

Now remember my Madara's chart? His mars in leo is in the 8th house, conjunt his jupiter and square his pluton in scorpio. In other words : The expansive actions of Madara illuminate the house related to death and crisis. Madara's violence reach its peak in the house of destruction. In the positive side, it means Madara is built for battle and he loves that. Better to have him in your team than against you. And this tremendous tension can be source of transformation for the world and himself. In the negative side he is a natural disaster. He's a menace and unless your name is Hashirama he's impossible to stop and will create massive disturbance in the world. He transform and impact deeply the life of many characters in the verse like : Obito, Kurama, Onoki and obviously Tobirama.

So for Tobirama, his moon in aquarius opposes Madara's mars, and his moon also square Madara's pluto. So for the second hokage, any action (good or bad) made by Madara is source of concerned and suspicion. also the plutonic nature of Madara leads Tobirama to irrational fear and paranoia. On top of that he explains himself very well: The Uchiha clans is wired on everything he detest. Their power needs strong uncontrolled emotions to thrive. The deeper the feeling the higher the power, and the sleepless are Tobirama's night.

And yes Tobirama admits that Madara is the biggest sentimental of the verse😅.

♃ Jupiter : Infinite Expansion – House of wisdom

♍ Virgo

Considering that Tobirama is Hashirama's younger brother, jupiter spend in average one year in a sign. Depending how big is there age gap. His jupiter could be either in Leo, virgo or Libra

I choose virgo because it amplifies his uptight attitude. Jupiter is on his ascendant. His very procedural approach to life can outshine his sun in pisces. He likes precision and proper etiquette. He admonished Hashirama for not showing a proper dignified position during the hokage meeting. He reminds Naruto to respect his actual title, and correct anyone forgetting he owns the copyright of 80% of Konoha's jutsu!

♄ Saturne : Restriction – Time - Enlightenment

♑ Capricorn

Saturn in capricorn talks about authority and power. Time and stability. Here, Saturn is the ruler of capricorn. which means it express itself at the fullest in its quality and its flaw.

In positive Tobirama is the creator of all the institutions we know in modern Konoha. The ANBU, the chuunin exams, the academy, the military police forces. It's as if Hashirama was the spirit and Tobirama the architect. After him, Konoha was more powerful, stable and don't need anymore to rely too much in charismatic leaders in order to survive.

Again if we apply synastry between him and Madara, Tobirama's saturn conjunct Madara's sun. A conjunction is when planets come together and influence one and other. Saturn being strong in capricorn than the sun, it tends to have a highter toll on Madara.

If this saturn is close to Madara's ego, it would tend to exert a hold over him, a slow pressure to contain his sun. The big institutions of the village, Tobirama's political influence, the Uchiha under close surveillance. From Madara's perpective, he knows Tobirama can't fight him directly in close combat but he's building a system resembling a prison for him: he can't fight anymore his ally, he can't change his reputation, he can't have any political power (here I don't know if the Uchiha went to the military police force before or after the Valley of the end but anyway Madara wasn't included in discussion considering the nomination of the Hokage), and even his clan doesn't trust him anymore. And without a surprise even after Tobirama's passing those institutions and policies against the Uchiha ended up being their final downfall. And it took 8o years.

For saturn, times is always its ally.

♀ Venus : Attraction – Seduction

♓Pisces

Hard choice because we don't know if he had a flirt, or was married but it seems not. And we don't know anything about his personal dream. He's almost married to Konoha at this point. So by simplification I'll say venus in pisces. Which is an excellent place for venus based on rulership it's exalted in this position. Here she can expresses her most creative side. It would be funny if Tobirama is low key an artist but as practical as he is he probably brings all his imagination into his scientific researches and maybe his fashion tastes.

To conclude : Tobirama was a character more complex than I initially thought. Dedicated, efficient and caring for his village. I still don't like him though but now I precisely know why😂. Although I respect his steady strategy to destroy the powerful clan of the Uchiha, he really fooled them all. It was methodical and well planned. Compared to the other founders, Tobirama is more down to earth than his big brother, but also more patient and attentionate to the new generation than Madara. And if you love the will of fire (which I don't), yes Tobirama was probably one of the best hokage!

[turnstileskyline]

RockSound June 3rd, 2024 – Dallon Weekes Interview (Transcript under the cut)

hello all!!!! i am still taking a little tumblr break (gonna upload and dip) but my copy of the rocksound idkhow issue came so i wanted to get these photographed and transcribed because i know i have shaky hands. (if you spot any mistakes let me know and i'll fix them asap!)

Taking Over The World (One Show At A Time)

As they close out their UK headline tour, IDHKOW's Dallon Weekes reflects on the lessons learned from taking 'Gloom Division' out on the road.

Words James Wilson-Taylor

Photos Corinne Cumming

Now that the UK tour has come to an end, how are you reflecting on this latest run of shows? Well the shows were fantastic. All of the crowds were great and it was really exciting to be back there after, you know, COVID and the album delays and everything. It's felt like it was forever since we've been back. But to be able to go back with this new lineup that I have, it was pretty special. Because I feel like the live show has grown a lot. Being able to add more live musicians to it, and rely less upon synth tracks and things like that. To have people up on stage actually doing it live, we're a little more untethered, which, must like that tour itself, was pretty chaotic. But we seem to thrive on chaos. So it worked out. It was really fun.

Did it click together quite quickly with the new band? What were the initial live rehearsals like? It was really fun for me. My heart goes out to the guys who are playing for me because they had this whole catalogue of music to learn before we hit the road, but they are such professionals and so talented too and most of them live here around Utah where I'm from. Anthony, my guitar player, still is in LA. But whenever shows come up, he flies out here so we get some proper full band rehearsals. But to be able to have really professional musicians dig into the songs and learn how to play them and have some input as well is really invaluable to me because I always really enjoy when a live show has tiny deviations from the recorded versions of the album that you might have in your collection. Sometimes bands can go a little too far from that and it can be fun sometimes. But it can also be a bummer, it kind of depends on the song, I guess. But I like having small moments or extended bits, or maybe an idea that you got post recording an album, when you're all jamming it together and someone does something cool. And you go, 'Dammit, I wish that was on the record'. So you just put it in the live show and it makes for a cool experience, I think.

With the added band members, it gives you a little extra freedom to step away from the bass at moments and explore your position as a frontman. It feels good, but it's interesting too, because that was never on my bucket list. I never had that in mind for my life to be a frontman, or a lead singer. I just always wanted to make music and write and record and have that be my job. I've been lucky enough to have achieved that goal. But, you know, circumstances being what they are, I eventually landed into that role without having it as a goal, but it's something that I do enjoy. It's something I did years ago with Brobecks. But between then and now it's been more than a decade. So I think it took me a minute to sort of relearn that role and find myself in that role again, and luckily once it started rolling, it didn't take long for me to find that footing again. But there was that learning curve where I tried to remember how to be in this spot, rather than just filling a spot on the side of that stage just playing bass. So yeah, it's been fun to be able to put it down every once in a while and have a little more freedom to wander around or spill water bottles all over the stage, which is a bad habit of mine.

It also allows for a nice relationship with the audience. I mean, that's something you've always had – it almost feels like a conversation in places. It's a little secret club in a way for all these fans. That was the impetus when it started. Because this was a secret project, no one was supposed to know about it. And I really had no goals in mind for it other than to get some music out of my head and play it for a bunch of strangers that didn't know what other bands I'd ever been in and see if that art that I was making could stand on it's own two feet without waving some giant flag saying, 'Hey, everybody, I was in this band before, come and see what I'm doing.' There was something about that which felt really disingenuous and kind of gross to me. So starting this project in secret with this ridiculous band name that no one could ever find appealing made a lot of sense at the time. But as things snowballed – and what a wonderful problem to have, I'm talking about this like it's some sort of bad thing but it's not, it's a great thing – eventually it became too late to choose a more sensible band name. But, you know, band names are ridiculous anyway, so who cares? I guess the secret is just to not care. But yeah, finding that role again. It took a minute, but it's been a lot of fun. I'm enjoying it a lot.

In terms of the newer songs in the set, did playing them live and seeing the audience reaction change your opinion about them at all? It's a similar feeling for both me and the audience. Because the way that writing and recording music works now is different from how it was 20 years ago. You used to write your song, go out and play it every night, workshop it, tighten the screws on it, and then you go record it and put on a record. Now, with Youtube and streaming services and bootlegs and things, you have to keep a tight lid on this new stuff that you're working on until it's been officially released. So now, you write your song and you record it and then you learn how to play it afterwards. So taking those out into the world for the first time on stage after you've recorded it, I think it's a new experience for the audience and for the performers as well, because you get a handle on this new thing that you've already recorded. Then night by night, kind of like I mentioned before, someone might do something different. The song sort of evolves and changes a little bit from the way that you recorded it. I think there's a lot of fun to be had in that. Sometimes those things can only happen once you are in front of people and playing those songs. It's all a really organic process and I really enjoy that.

I guess the other thing you had to consider was how best to balance this new material, which pushed you into some new places musically, with the older songs that everybody knows. It's become a challenge now because when this thing started, I hadn't recorded or released anything. It was about four or five months of playing dive bars in secret and just denying that this was even a thing while I was recording. Then by the time we did have something out there, I think we put a song on YouTube first with no record label, no radio, nothing. Then that song just kind of took off. Then we were expected to fill an hour whenever we would go on tour and we had only released five songs. So learning that frontman role and stretching bits out and filling in our set with some covers and maybe some old Brobecks songs, that was the challenge. Now, the challenge has become picking a setlist that has bits and pieces of stuff that you love and that the audience would appreciate from the past and from the current record. So it's a different challenge now, but it's one that I'm enjoying. Revisiting stuff that is important to me from the past and things that I really like playing and stuff that the audience either needs to hear, because we're promoting it, or is stuff that I know they have responded to well in the past and that they'd like to hear. So it's a combination of different factors to make a decent setlist, I think, but I try to keep all that stuff in mind.

One particularly special moment at the London show was when Will Joseph Cook joined you onstage to perform your collaboration "Sunnyside'. That was fun. He's a London boy. The algorithm sent me some of his music a couple of years back and it was a song called 'Take Me Dancing', one of his songs from maybe four or five years ago. It was one of those songs that when you hear it as a songwriter, it's so good that it kind of pisses you off, you know? Dammit, that's good. So I reached out to him to see if he wanted to collaborate on some stuff, and it's been a great working relationship ever since. Then we just pass each other ideas back and forth all the time. He hit me up and asked if he could come to the London show and I said, 'Why don't you come out on stage and we'll sing this 'Sunnyside' song that we to wrote together'. He's like, fuck yeah, so we hooked up a spare microphone and ran it on soundcheck and then brought them out on stage for the set. It was a lot of fun to be able to do that. To play it live with the person who helped cowrite that was pretty special.

So you see that collaborative relationship continuing on more songs in the future? We hung out pretty much all day that day backstage and showed each other ideas that we have floating around. After I got home, I send him some more songs. So yeah, we're definitely going to keep that collaborative working relationship going. He's a good young man with a bright future.

You have also been able to bring some more Brobecks songs into your setlist and put a new, IDKHOW twist on them. Are there any more of those older songs you'd like to re-record or perform again? I've got a shortlist of maybe four or five old Brobecks songs that I think never really got a proper chance to be a proper song, you know, whether that was because we didn't have enough money to record it properly or get it mixed or mastered or even release it. Then I eventually released the songs in a vacuum and no one ever really heard it. But there's four or five I think that I would still like to give a proper chance to. It's not super high on the priority list. But it is something that I'm interested in because I am a fan of songs. And you know, probably more so than albums as a whole, I'm a song man. There are a few from the past that I think had some potential. But I would probably have to consider, you know, the passage of time in between when I first wrote them as a young man and, if I did rerecord and release, now there might have to be some lyric adjustments or something because I don't know how well some lyric choices when you're 22 would go over when you're 42. So there might be some rewrites in order. But revisiting some of those I think would be fun because this project and that project, they aren't unrelated to each other. I very well could have easily called this The Brobecks. But whenever I started this, putting a period at the end of that old project seemed like the right move and moving on to something new that didn't have any baggage to carry along with it. It felt like the move. But yeah, that doesn't mean that that stuff isn't still important to me. It's still very meaningful and I really love playing old Brobecks songs and I think that I always will.

Now that you have had some time to reflect since the release of 'GLOOM DIVISION', how are you feeling about that collection of songs now? It's interesting how your perspective changes on things. When I first recorded it, and was getting ready to release it, I was so excited and I thought this was the best work that I've ever done. Then even with the good reviews that it has gotten and the fan response, there was still more mixed reviews, or mixed feelings, about it than I thought there would be. But seeing that happen has given me a sort of step back, trying to be more objective, which is hard to do when you're making art, you know, because it really is for you. That's still number one for me whenever I make art. It is for me, and I want to like the thing that I'm making. That's the most important bit and if anyone else happens to like it, that's just a really great bonus. But I made this record and I loved it and I thought that surely everyone else would too. All of my favourite records and the things that I draw inspiration from are not popular records. These are not things that were at the top of the charts. You know, even on some of my top 10 Records of all time – Elvis Costello's 'This Year's Model' or The Flaming Lips or Ben Folds Five, all of my favourite stuff, these were never people that lived at the top of the charts. So, to me, the response kind of makes sense. As long as you're making something that you like, and you're not trying to play to the gallery, then whatever their response is, so be it.

UK artists in particular seem to have always had a big influence on you. I've been a sucker for everything British since I got into the Beatles, and if it was from the 60s and it was British then I was all about it. Even in the 90s, | was a big Britpop fan. In the post grunge-90s, Britpop in America was not the cool thing to be into, but I was all about it. Blur was my favourite. I loved Pulp and I liked Oasis too. That was my shit back in the 90s while everyone else was listening to Rage Against The Machine, which I can appreciate more now. Back then, I viewed it as the stuff my older brother and his friends were into and they're all bros. So I was being kind of a little hipster about it. But I love Rage now. But yeah, back then in the 90s, again I was into stuff that wasn't living at the top of the charts.

It must have been particularly exciting to finally come over here and play shows for the first time. Yeah it was very cool to be there finally and see where rock and roll...wasn't born but where it had been fine tuned and perfected. We may have done it first but I'm always of the mindset that y'all did it best. There's no pride in regards to, you know, who did what and when. I'm a fan of what y'all do. I love it over there.

One UK show that must stick in the memory was when you played Brixton Academy in 2016 with Panic! At The Disco just after David Bowie had passed away. That must have been quite a surreal but special moment. I remember waking up in my hotel that day to the news and being hit with it harder than I probably thought I would have ever been. I'd always been a big Bowie fan, but sometimes you don't really realize how much you like something until it's gone, which is kind of fucked up. So I woke up to the news that he had died and I cried a little bit, you know, which kind of surprised me. Then I went out walking the streets, because we had a full day before we had to be at the venue for soundcheck, and his music was everywhere. Walking past that mural that's down the street from the venue where people had made this makeshift memorial, there was this awesome sense of community. That was a great reminder about the importance behind art and behind music. All of these people walking the streets, they might not share anything in common, but at least for today, or that day, everyone's sharing this art that this man made. There's something so special about that. Whenever an artist passes along from this world, you hope that your art that you make continues to be enjoyed by people and that way you get to sort of live on and still impact people. So that's the hope. I certainly hope that's the case with me and I'm sure I'm not alone in that. Playing that venue in particular, or really any historical venue where I know for sure that someone I love has played there and has walked down this staircase to the stage just like I'm doing, I always think about that right before we're about to take the stage. There's something intimidating about it and something comforting about it at the same time.

Similarly, when you played Camden Electric Ballroom with IDKHOW, that is another venue with so much history. There is a plaque outside in memory of when Prince performed there. That's another reason why I really love playing in London because there's so many choices. You throw a stone and there's a gig happening somewhere and you have your choice of just about anything under the sun that you can go see. So the fact that there are people on the other side of the world that would choose to come see this project and watch us play the songs that I write here in my basement is nothing short of a miracle to me. This last round of shows that we played over there, particularly that last show in London, to be able to have that venue full of people is so special to me and does not go unappreciated.