#i'd usually post this on my anime gif blog but i like it a lot so i'm posting it here heheh

[m-eltdown]

[reallyhardydraws]

2023.

i hope any of you reading this will forgive the essay. i started posting to this art blog ten years ago in 2013 when i was just at the very end of high school, uploading short animations i'd made for one of my final projects, preparing myself for art school where i was gearing up to become an illustration/animation student.

i went into my art foundation course in 2014, still thinking i was going to be going into storybook illustration or with faint hopes of becoming like a concept artist for game/animation, although even then i'd started thinking about patterns...

and then in 2015 i did go into my BA, going in for that illustration with animation degree that... usually when i talk about it in real life, i say didn't really feel like the best place for me. if i think back, the best things i got out of it were two of my best friends, one of whom is now my partner. looking back on my BA era, there's some bits of sketchbook stuff...

and while i was at university my main fandoms were thunderbirds are go and x-men for a bit... these are from the end of 2015 into the beginning of 2016...

then for a little while i was doing this still sort of pastel-ish lineless situation:

and i alternated between that and this thin fineliner type work (pretty sure all of the linearted pieces were done on paper and scanned, and all the lineless were graphics-tablet-only) - it was in this style that i started to offer commissions for the first time too.

and i also had fineliner-lined work in sketchbooks that i coloured with marker and posca pens, the colours of which were generally a bit more intense just based on not being able to slide the hue/saturation around on paper:

also 2016 was when i discovered the spongebob musical just after it's trial run in chicago (which ended in july of 2016) and i started making fanart at that point... which would have the biggest effect on the way i drew (and i did end up handing in a piece of spongebob musical fanart as one of my art school homeworks lmao)

from summer 2016 until early 2017 things were still quite soft and pastelly in my digital art, colour-wise:

and then suddenly everything got whacked up to 100% on saturation. also i was using the binary tool to give everything really thin pixel lineart for some reason.

then i went on vacation in summer 2017 and didn't draw for maybe a month? just short of? and when i came back i decided to change everything up again... giving characters blobbier, more ugly-cute faces with large squinting eyes and big nostrils and i was worrying a lot less about making anything look smooth, lineart-wise. i turned off the pen stabiliser in SAI and let it wiggle.

then... the spongebob musical opened on broadway in late 2017, i went to see it live in person for the first time... and my whole brain was ENTIRELY consumed by my love of it. i was putting that david zinn inspired pattern explosion into everything, even if it wasn't sbm fanart.

as we go into 2018, i started colouring my lineart. my biggest interest was still broadway musicals (with spongebob at the top of the list)

i think summer 2017 - early 2018 is probably my favourite art era, i was at my most bright and colourful and exciting... although i know in my actual real life i was struggling a lot with my home situation and i had been for some time. art was definitely my escapism back then, and i think a lot of the time i drew really bright, joyful stuff to try and inject that feeling into myself.

as for my university work, i was putting my focus into 3D paper-mache puppets:

and i was also starting to do more repeat patterns, mostly inspired by things around me. i'd learned how to make patterns actually tile and repeat in 2017, so made a few during my time at uni just to accompany some of my projects, but never as the focus of them. one of my university tutors told me that maybe i should put more focus on doing surface pattern, and maybe applying it to textiles, but i said i wasn't interested.

i graduated from my BA in the summer of 2018, and immediately began volunteering at the whitworth art gallery doing anything i could - stewarding, helping with arts and crafts, dancing with families...

in 2019 i was still very colourful... i was trying out more chunky colouring on characters skintones that i think was def inspired by tumblr artist jadenvargen:

but the blobbyness and ugly-cute style of drawing faces was gone by here, and i think... the way i drew characters probably had better *anatomy*, proportions were maybe a bit more realistic...

in 2020 i started adding the black shading to under the chins and some other places on characters' bodies because i started watching the anime my hero academia with my brother, lmao (and i was starting to pastelise colours a bit again, these are the most pastel-ish examples) my lineart has really smoothed back out too, though i never turned my pen stabiliser back on in SAI. i think my hand just adjusted. probably seems a bit insane to miss that, but i do.

by the end of 2020, the almost-year of lockdown over cobid had... made me a bit insane, i think, and i moved out of my mother's house and into a flat with a friend from university.

in 2021 i think things were much the same... i think from this point on is where things have sort of settled. i don't want to say stagnated, but i do think things have been very... like this for a while.

2022 - got the most exciting examples out...

also i was very into these little frames in 2022.

and then on to 2023! in 2022, i did begin trying to shift gears a bit -- hoping to put more energy into sewing and making products (like my tutor has suggested back in uni, even though i'd really resisted the idea.) i sold at a few in-person markets during winter of 2022, but got disheartened by the amount of money i had to sink in up front to sign up for a spot...

which has made me VERY grateful for the people who have supported me via online sales. it has really helped me stay afloat in 2023 - AND it has felt more wonderful than i can describe that there have been people interested in my work... especially when a lot of it has been my original designs, rather than the fanart that i expect a lot of people initially followed me for.

i've also... in the past 2 years... branched out a bit more when it comes to 'being an artist' - and have had the opportunity to deliver arts & crafts workshops with local refugee & asylum seeker support charity, afrocats. it's taken me to their home base in a church to hotels across the city where asylum seekers were temporarily placed while waiting on their new homes, and of course to my beloved whitworth art gallery, where we welcomed visitors from all backgrounds: from the typical white middle class visitors the gallery usually expects, to all the refugee visitors coming into the space for the first time.

and through my volunteering at the whitworth, i showed up so often they decided they might as well pay me. so i've also become a facilitator of... creative play sessions, my favourites of which have been outdoors. monthly, year-round, we have 'outdoor art club', where i get to paint with mud and make potions from leaves with kids & families - here you can see me tell you a little bit about it in this video below with 'crempog' a puppet character that makes videos about activities for kids and families around manchester (my bit starts at 01:10 although i am in the intro and thumbnail haha)

and then of course the summer 'PLAYTIME' activities we've had the past two years: scrap studio in 2022, and play market in 2023. it's the best freelance gig ever -- just to hang out and encourage families to be creative and have fun.

in working more in these new avenues... outside of being - as i've called myself for a long time - "an internet artist"... i've found myself more interested in this sort of thing. in being a "real world artist" too. in doing surface pattern design, and being a workshop facilitator, i find myself wanting to put more energy into these sorts of projects.

in 2023 i've also dabbled a little bit more in youtube videos! i have had a channel for a while and have made videos in previous years, but 2023 has been the year i've done the most in. admittedly most of them haven't been about my art, and more just like... random things that interest me (the spongebob musical in particular) but i've really been enjoying video editing. that's kind of an art form too, so i'm including it here!

moving forward, want to keep putting even more of my energy into other things. my shop, with a bigger range of products to offer. workshops in real life, where i can make a difference.

as for my art blog... i feel like i've done the least drawing in many years in 2023, and... well, things have been weird and complicated for a bit in my real life. i hope to draw for fun a bit more again very soon, and to return to doing things in more of a wild and crazy way, to be more creative and exciting with the way i draw things. still, here's some of my favourites from 2023:

thank you so much to everyone who has borne witness to my art journey this past decade!!! i hope you will stick with me, who knows, maybe for another 10 years if tumblr holds out. especially a big thank you to everyone who has ever commissioned me, or bought anything from my store, you literally keep me able to make art at all and i cannot, cannot, cannot overstate how much it means to me.

i'm moving homes soon, possibly into very cramped temporary conditions for a little while before HOPEFULLY starting my real life with my partner. if i can take one more moment to plug my work, then [here is a link to my online shop] and [here is my ko-fi page too.]

cheers, cheers, cheers!

- LOREN 🌈🍍🎉

[mahouplanetofficial]

Basic Magical Hero Terminology 🌙

Hi everyone! Welcome to Mahou Planet's first guide on our tumblr page!

Before I begin, I'd just like to give a couple of regards:

I forgot to clarify that this main account is almost exclusively ran by the owner of Mahou Planet, Georgia. Unless stated otherwise, Georgia is usually the one writing these posts. I just like talking in 3rd person since I want to sound a bit more professional yk?? (psst say hi to me in the comments im so cool)

If you want to hear more about the staff and members of Mahou Planet, please consider following our secondary blog: @mahouplanetstaff !

I'd also like to promote our Discord server a little more. Not only will you get to interact with our amazing community, I also do polls there for our members so they can have a voice in deciding what I write next! If you want to participate or even request ideas of what to add in my tutorials, consider joining Mahou Planet! (as long as you're 13+) The join link is in our bio and pinned post.

Now that that's out of the way, let's jump into the guide!

✨️ TAKING IT SLOW

Wether you're a beginner magical hero who has no idea what they're getting into, or an advanced magical hero who has likely heard these terms in their sleep, magical hero terminology is important to know when you're in the magical hero community. Without understanding some basic terms, you'll have no idea what magical heroes on Wattpad, Discord, etc. are talking about when they post. Let's take things slow for this first post and go over some terminology!

🌙 TERMINOLOGY

Magical Hero (MH) -> A magical hero is.. well.. what you're becoming!

"BUT GEORGIA!!! WHY DO YOU USE MAGICAL HERO IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE MAGICAL GIRL!!!" You can use magical girl as well, a lot of people in the community use that term as an umbrella term. There are some people, however, who want to become a magical girl but do not identify as a girl. For instance, I may be afab, but I identify as genderfluid. I use both magical girl and magical hero, but that may not be the case for others!! Some may use magical boy, magical enby, etc. That doesn't make them any less of a magical hero!

Concept -> A basic explanation of a concept is the type of a magical hero you're becoming. Magical heroes can be from any show, franchise, even your own original concepts! Some of the common ones I see are Precure, Madoka Magica, and Sailor Moon, though personally I've seen a lot more original concepts rise through the community. Concepts can be as vague or as detailed as you want- I'll go more into detail about concepts wayyy later.

Familiar/Mascot -> Familiars, or mascots, are who give you the power to become a magical hero! They usually also represent your team and give you advice on how to succeed as a magical hero. Unlike what you see in typical magical hero shows, familiars don't always have to be animals. They can be humans, objects, etc. Sometimes, you can have a concept with no familiar!

Script -> A script is a collection of what you want as a magical hero. Scripting is the process of creating your script. This is usually done in a word processor, like Google Docs or Notion. You can add in pictures of your outfits/weapons, info about yourself, etc! I'll be sharing some of my self made scripting templates later on!

Subliminals -> Subliminals are subconsious messages over music or noise that go into your subconsious mind, helping you manifest desired results. Subliminals aren't just exclusive for becoming a magical hero. There are different subliminal topics, such as getting longer hair, changing your eye color, etc! Friendly reminder that subliminals are just a tool to help you manifest, and are not required for you to transform. What is required is.. you! Yes, you and your subconsious mind!

I will warn you, especially those new to the subliminal community: we do not condone the usage of problematic subliminals, such as race-changing (and the RCTA community), any underground subliminal, or subliminals glorifying trauma, abuse, etc. If you condone the usage of these subliminals, then leave this blog. You are not welcome here or in our Discord server. /srs

Manifesting -> Manifesting is the act of bringing something into this reality that you want. It's like a dream come true- say, you've manifested good grades, healthy hair, etc. There are several methods to manifest, but the most common one I've seen is manifesting with subliminals.

Affirmations -> Affirmations are positive statements that help reinforce your subconsious mind what you want to manifest. Things like "I will transform" and "I am a magical hero" are some! These are put into subliminals, but you can also create your own to make sigils, spells, etc.

Fantasy Shift Phase (F Shift) -> In fantasy shifting phase, you're planning out your aspects of your magical hero life, desired life, etc. This is where you create ideas for your magical hero concept. You can also create your subliminal playlist in this phase.

Mental Shift Phase (M Shift) -> In mental phase, you're changing your mental (and sometimes physical) state to think like a magical hero. This can be doing good deeds for others, watching magical hero shows, physically training, etc! You're preparing for your future as a magical hero. Acting as if and roleplaying are two common ways magical heroes mentally shift!

Phantom Shifting (Ph Shift) -> Phantom shifting is where you feel the sensation of being a magical hero, however, you haven't fully transformed yet. This can come in the form of feeling sensations of your outfit, weapons, etc while in civilian form. Some magical heroes don't count phantom shifting as its own phase since it's more of a term to describe sensations you feel.

Astral Shift Phase (A Shift) -> Astral shifting is where you see your magical hero form in the astral plane, either by phantom shifting or astral projecting. There's little information on how to astral shift, but don't let that discourage you!

Physical Shift Phase (P Shift) -> Also known as "full results", physical shifting is where you physically transform into a magical hero! You've completed a journey and are beginning another one! Congratulations <3

Fictional Other (F/O) -> Fictional others are signifigant others being manifested into this reality from a fictional source. They can be human, nonhuman, etc! I see a lot of magical heroes do this, so I thought it'd be nice to add (psst, to all those selfshippers out there manifesting f/o's, you are so valid and your partner loves you more than anything in this world <3)

That's all of the terminology I can think of! If you have any questions, think I forgor something, or want to add to this post, feel free to leave a note or an ask!! I hope you guys learned something from this post :)

See you all next time!

(gifs: sailor moon transformation, loona ot12, choerry - loona)

[mikalara-dracula]

When the Sakamakis were children [IRL photos + hcs]

Warning: 18+ content below; don't read if you're a minor and aren't comfortable with mentions of childhood fears/trauma. This is a fictional work and should not be taken seriously.

Caution: Unfortunately, Tumblr has a history of admins quarreling over completing carbon copy asks due to users sending the same request(s) to multiple admins, thus, resulting in unintentional plagiarism. With this, please DO NOT send the same request to multiple blogs as it can cause unintended plagiarism discord to other blogs across Tumblr. The word “plagiarism” stems from the early 17th-century Latin word, “plagiarius,” meaning “kidnapper.” So please, do not send in the same request to multiple blogs and make admins appear to be “kidnapping” other people’s work when it isn’t their intention. If this is to occur with any of my posts, please contact me so we can work something out.

Made with: @liannelara-dracula

Figured I'd put side-by-side photos for better comparison to real life and the anime.

Shu

Started practicing violin a lot as a kid, but it was honestly a hobby to him. And this is probably when his love for classical music began.

He also started learning piano too. He has a natural talent for both, but violin came easier to him.

Began learning fencing as a child. (I have a post about Shu and Reiji hcs if anyone is interested. Click/tap here to check it out.)

Shu used to be taller than Reiji as a kid, but this changed later on.

Read poetry as a child and Beatrix also forced him to write some of his own so he’d develop the skill since the heir had to know how to do something finesse.

Since he’s the heir, he was expected to attend special balls and gatherings with Reiji by his side.

And here, you can best bet he was introduced to potential suitresses he would have to choose sometime later, but Beatrix thought it didn’t hurt for Shu to be introduced early.

She honestly hoped he’d become friends with one of his suitresses as children so they could grow up together and later be married.

It’s canon that Shu has a fear of clowns.

This fear probably resulted from Ayato and Laito jumping at him out of nowhere when they were kids, and scared him by wearing clown masks.

It’s also canon that he’s afraid of caterpillars.

This fear probably developed in his childhood through Reiji putting one in Shu’s tea once, and he’s been traumatized since due to Reiji’s scheming.

It’s canon that he knows Latin, so he probably started studying it when he was a child. Beatrix figured it’d be better for him to get familiarized with the human world since Karl was well accustomed, so through Shu being the heir, you can imagine Beatrix expected him to be very knowledgeable like Karl.

It’s canon that Shu used to sneak out as much as he could to get away from the castle.

Although, he would sometimes get caught by the servants who would immediately force him to come back and he’d be delivered to his mother for scolding.

But some servants looked the other way and let Shu go out and explore, mostly because they felt bad from how much pressure was on him as the heir.

When he met Edgar, he used to sneak out a lot to go see him.

In the manga, Shu said that he worked harder in his studies so he could finish them early and go have time to see Edgar.

Their friendship was so cute. :))

Had his first kiss at 13 (at least he looked 13) with some nobleman’s daughter since he was at the age of being curious as to what that would feel like.

Was quite close with some of his nannies and servants, at least the ones who let him get away with things his mother wouldn’t allow.

Reiji

Oh my gosh, look at our lil Rei. He was so cute as a kid. (Tbh, they all were.)

Apart from this, unfortunately, Reiji was alone for most of his childhood.

Read a lot as a kid, either for school or personal research.

Has gotten into literal fights with Shu, such as both them tackling each other and battling it out.

It usually took several servants to pry them apart.

They once ended up falling into a mud puddle during their fight and Beatrix was so pissed off that their suits had been soiled. You can bet her scolding was quite brutal and never-ending about this.

Probably started learning chess around this time as well. Lil Rei honestly found it interesting since it involved strategy, something that’s right up his alley.

His fear of ghosts probably developed as a child since he was always lonely, especially through always sleeping in his room alone as a kid and being considered foolish by his mother if he sought comfort.

It’s canon in one of the game routes that Reiji developed a healing cream formula as a child to aid vampires. So we can see how advanced his chemistry skills were even as a child.

Because there was a lot of pressure on him as a child by his mother he felt the need to perfect things so he was always practicing all his manners, tea pouring, dancing, and fencing skills.

He usually asks his servants to assist him and correct him if needed.

This is also why he is so good at dancing when it comes to the waltz. 

It doesn’t surprise me if he had a maid/servant who used to help him practice.

At balls and events that he attended with Shu, he always tried to make a better impression than his brother, mostly because he just wanted to be acknowledged.

It’s canon that Reiji used to spy on Shu in hopes of catching him doing something un-heir-like so he could report it to his mom and get Shu scolded so he could be viewed as the more “mature” child.

He used to have tea time with his mother because she’d want to know what was going on with Shu.

Reiji at first thought it was because she wanted to spend time with him but he later learned that these tea times were only to know what Shu was up to and if he was misbehaving or hiding anything.

Still, Reiji did what he was asked because he figured he could possibly get the chance to tell his mother some news about his discoveries or something interesting.

However, it was always short-lived because she used to change subjects and always focus on Shu.

This is also why Reiji prefers to be alone because he could never have one conversation with her, without her not mentioning his older brother.

All our lil Rei wanted was a friend who would listen to him 😭.

Laito

It’s canon that Laito once stuck candy wrappers into Shu’s pocket to not get the blame for eating them. Shu’s still pissed at Laito for this since he ended up getting the blame along with getting scolded by Reiji.

Definitely developed his fear of bugs as a kid.

Ayato used to chase Laito around the courtyard with a bug in his hand and would try to get it on him.

He used to run around the mansion shirtless.

But also used to run around naked in the castle with his brothers.

Always took baths with his two little brothers, and he and Ayato always use to tease Kanato by pouring cold water on him or by stealing his bath toy.

This usually resulted in Kanato crying.

But sometimes they were nice to him and washed his hair since they felt bad. So they used to take turns washing each other’s hair.

Laito and Ayato always bribe Kanato with candy so they dare him to touch Reiji’s shoulder while he’s reading without being noticed or to mess with the cooks in the kitchen.

This way they can get a laugh out of it.

Laito used to have the servants read him bedtime stories before going to bed every night.

Kanato

Aww, isn’t he cute.

Let’s just pretend the bby in the photo on the right is Teddy lol.

It’s honestly funny how both are positioned in the same way.

Kanato wasn’t entirely alone during his childhood.

He mostly spent his time with Ayato and Laito, but sometimes he preferred to be alone.

Used to have pillow/stuffed animal fights in his room with Ayato and Laito. And they would usually end with pillows/stuffed animals ripping, causing a big cloud of fluff to explode about them.

Used to steal sweets from the castle's kitchen and was an expert at hiding it.

Little Kanato would usually sneak out of his room after everyone had been put to sleep and would sneak into the kitchen to grab a bite of whatever sweets the castle had prepared for tomorrow.

He once colored on the castle walls because he was so bored. Cordelia was so mad, but Karl honestly didn’t care since he claimed his son was expressing himself. Until this day, that wall remains with that design.

It’s canon that Kanato used to sing “Scarborough Fair” to Cordelia when he was a kid. He honestly had a natural talent for singing and finds it nice to sing on his own every so often as seen in the anime.

His brothers used to tease him about his height and he’d get sad and would claim that one day he’d be taller.

Sometimes Kanato would have nightmares as a kid. So he’d end up going to either Laito or Ayato’s room and crawl into their beds for comfort. Aww :’))

He used to be afraid of lighting as a kid.

He had a childhood crush once and Laito and Ayato teased him endlessly about it.

Used to finger paint with Laito and Ayato and they used to tease him by taking their fingers and dabbing their fingers on his nose to get paint on it. It would always make him upset.

Our poor little baby.

Ayato

Ayato usually spent his time with Kanato and Laito, but mostly Laito since sometimes Kanato wanted to be on his own.

Ayato once spent a lot of time with Kanato and Laito building this little motor that they could drive around.

Ayato decided to test it once inside the castle with Kanato and Laito.

And it actually worked! Ayato was having a lot of fun test-driving it around, and Kanato and Laito cheering him on and begging to have a turn.

But this was until Cordelia stopped Ayato and told him to go to his room for acting foolish.

In the end, their little motor ended up disappearing, and they later discovered that Cordelia had it burned.

It’s canon that Ayato took violin lessons as a kid, but this didn’t last long until Cordelia ended up breaking Ayato’s violin during her freakouts, to which his lessons ended. And he was honestly happy to get out of them.

Ayato always used to play monkey in the middle with Laito and Kanato. And you can best bet that Kanato was the monkey in the middle.

Kanato would always complain that he could never catch the ball and would throw tantrums about this.

Tbh, this hasn’t changed since the triplets play it like this until now lmao. xDD

Used to jump off the manor’s couches with Kanato and Laito with a cape and pretended he could fly.

Apparently, it’s canon that Ayato is afraid of bees. So with this, he probably developed this trauma because he got stung once when he was a kid and never got over it.

He used to grab little mice and release them into the kitchen because all the female cooks were afraid of them.

He used to get a kick out of it every time the cooks would start freaking out and throwing pots and pans and chasing them out with a broom.

He’s even done this to his aunt Beatrix but not his mom, he was too afraid. He knew she’d instantly catch on to it being him and suffer tremendous punishment for it.

Subaru

He was alone a lot of the time too.

As we know, Christa gave Subaru that silver knife he always carries around.

Whenever he was bored as a kid, he’d sometimes used it to carve or engrave things, or even weave bracelets.

He had a childhood crush! It was a girl (a child vampire like him) from a noble family that would sometimes come to court.

She was around his age and was pretty social. She noticed him at one of the gatherings and began hanging out with him since she found the gatherings boring.

So, they both would go outside since Subaru hates crowds himself. And from there, they developed a pretty cute and innocent friendship.

She actually got our little bby car to lighten up and would tag him out of nowhere so he could chase her around the courtyard.

And it was through this that Subaru developed a crush on her.

Sooner than later, he even went as far as carving his and her initials into a tree in the courtyard.

Their friendship lasted a good while throughout the years and through having such a connection, Subaru secretly swore that he’d marry her when they were of age.

But this all changed when the girl was forced to marry another suitor that was presented to her.

This left him pretty disappointed, but he figured it would end this way because he always thought it was too good to be true since he was raised to think he was “filthy.”

Used to engage in a bit of pottery making and he gave some of his works to his mom, which she gladly appreciated when she wasn’t having a mental breakdown.

Subaru keeps his little pottery works until now stashed somewhere hidden in his room so his brothers won’t find them.

And he can’t bring himself to throw them away despite part of him wanting to since he finds them foolish now. Whatever the case, he figures as long as his brothers don’t see nor find them, he’ll keep them.

Played tag with the triplets sometimes.

Would sometimes hang out with Shu, but it was rare.

They’d sometimes go on walks together in the courtyard or even carve things together, like a piece of wood from a nearby tree.

Shu once tried to teach Subaru violin, but it was a disaster.

Unfortunately, it was so bad that it was overheard by the entire castle ground and it resulted in a lot of people complaining. So with that, he never tried it again.

Despite this though, he still considered Shu his favorite brother since Shu never bothered him in an annoying way and was the only one who made an attempt to hang out with him every so often.

It’s canon that Subaru likes Kanato’s singing. Since Kanato used to sing to Cordelia when he was a child, Subaru probably overheard Kanato sing to Cordelia in the courtyard sometimes since he spent a lot of time there himself, and grew an admiration from there on out.

Subaru would sometimes use his knife to cut roses and bring them to his mom when she was feeling okay. It always brought a smile to her face.

[dddesc]

i want to use this blog to recap episodes i watch. not going to force myself to talk at length about every one -- the children-centric storylines especially drive me up a wall -- but since dedede and escargon get to be in every episode regardless of the plot, usually i have at least a LITTLE something to be excited about.

let's talk about......

EPISODE 13: Pupu Village Year-End Fireworks Display

not toooooo much interesting going on! pupu villagers spend a lot of time making cg parade floats and the animators spend a lot of time rotating the camera around those cg parade floats. kirby does blow up the police station with copious amounts of gunpowder, which is cool, and nobody really cares. i'm surprised they don't hate him after this, because they get mad at him all the time for stuff he didn't even do. they all saw him blow up the police station....

very unfortunate cg dedede and escargon animation ... to be expected of an early episode. i have to give the animators credit for trying to make them work; there's potential in the expressions they pull, but, waaaaghh. wwagghhhh.

a light is at the end of the tunnel, though, and dddesc get a whole scene of 2d animation! this classic (to me, at least) frame exists because of this episode:

nice.

it's always a treat to see escargon doing tech stuff... i love being reminded of his engineering. i feel like the writers didn't let him do enough of it! it's funny to design a "smart" character and only let him utilize this trait in snarky comments instead of actions.... but i will choose to look at this glass half full and just consider it the poetry of escargon; a weird little loser who's boss is too stupid to consider the fact that he doesn't need to be buying monsters all the time on account of the inventor that he's got attached to his hip.

i can't recall when escargon's referred to as a "doctor" (it's not often that it comes up, but unless translations have changed since my time in the starfumu trenches, i assume it's still relevant); i'll need to keep an eye out for when that happens....

really cute shot (relevant subtitle too)! fun watching them circle around the rocket while kirby is absolutely oblivious to the apparent threat

^ also, blue hands dedede animation error in this scene if you care.

i didn't get where kirby got parasol from at all when i first watched this.....but my not having played much of kirby's dream land 3 is showing, because apparently sasuke does give kirby the parasol ability! i don't really know why they decided to make sasuke in charge of fireworks in the anime since he doesn't do anything related to them or explosions or even fire in dream land 3...... but oh well. i guess the parasol was for the real gamers. sniff

they do this ohhhh. ohhh ohhhhhh. ohhh. owhh

that's about it. genuinely didn't think i'd have this much to say about this episode; i wanted to be able to talk about other ones in the same post but.... i have too many thoughts even on episodes that aren't particularly enthralling.......lord help me

[honest-moth-of-silver-grove]

Hiii just found your blog and all your mothman reblogs are so REALLL i love him sm 😭😭😭 anyw I'd like to request a match up if you don't mind (it says in your pinned post that your ask box will be closed in the coming days so idk if that means it's closed now or not and if so dw abt it!) It's my first time asking for a match up so bare w me 😭

I'm a cis female with short shoulder length black hair that's either usually dyed or cut in some odd way (think layers/wolfcut/sometimes bangs sometimes not basically I like experimenting with hair) whose VERY short. (Think under 160cm). Physical traits wise I'm very skinny (not in a model way and more of a no matter how much I eat I burn it off TOO quickly it can get dangerous for my health) which means I'm also not physically very female iykwim. (As in I'm not blessed in the chest or ass category in life 😭)

I also have several scars on my thighs and hands due to a dog attack BUT I'm still so in love with animals and particularly have a VERY soft spot for the animals thought to be basic/unimportant. (Rodents and a lot of birds). I'm also very artistic and dabble in almost every form of art including performative, visual, written, and digital!

My biggest flaw would probably be my stubborness which gets in the way of a lot of things at times. I'm also slightly insecure about my looks and my height especially and that may cause jealousy/slight mistrusts unless dealth w a lot of communicatio. I can put people above me at times even when it isn't right because I'm loyal to them to a fault. But I'm very petty as well esp aft my trust is broken repeatedly.

Despite that I still think I'm pretty outgoing/adventurous when it comes to meeting new people altho I do get a lot of anxiety over it hahahahsdhhdjs.

The love language I love to give is physical touch, words of affirmations, and gifts. Whilst the ones I love to receive are words of affirmations and quality time. My mbti is Intp and I'm a Taurus! Also, I wouldn't mind any matchups from any media you write for except Castlevania cause I haven't gotten around to watching it just yet! (Altho I do have a preference for bg3 cause that's the media I know most well!)

I'm not sure if I said too much/too little but yeah! Again if your asks are closed dw abt it. I hope you have an amazing day/night. ✨️✨️✨️🤩🤩🤩

A/N: I hail Mothman, you hail Mothman, We ALL hail the Mothman!!! I just think he’s neat. Anyway, getting back on task because you didn't specify a gender preference, I picked one of each for you. For you, my Skinny Taurus Anon, I’m thinking your best Baldur’s Gate 3 matchups would be… Halsin (Male) and Karlach (Female)! 

Halsin would be a great match for you! He’s very kind and soft-spoken and shares your love of animals and nature. He’s especially touched that you’ve managed to maintain such love for animals after being attacked in your childhood. He finds your reverence for less cherished animals very honorable indeed. 

Halsin admires the ways that you express yourself by experimenting with your hair. In his case, he’s had the same look for a few hundred years or so, but that’s not to say he wouldn’t enjoy maybe changing up the way he styles his hair if you were willing to help him do it. Halsin loves all bodies and all body types, so there’s no need to feel insecure about being thin, or not having curves. Halsin does get concerned, however, when he feels you don’t eat enough nutritious food throughout the day. Silvanus knows he has a sweet tooth, but man nor elf cannot exist on honey and fruit alone. He wants to ensure you're getting a good amount of protein and greens in your diet, and he’s very capable of hunting dinner for you if you’d like. 

Halsin enjoys making art himself, preferring to whittle, seated next to you as you write or create your amazing digital creations. (A technology he does not understand but is very supportive of all the same.)

Being an open-hearted polyamorous druid, you’d have to have strong communication skills for a serious long-term relationship with Halsin. The two of you will need to work out a language or routine of your own to check in with one another and make sure that no serious insecurities or jealousies take hold. Speaking respectfully from the heart will be paramount here. 

Halsin’s first love language is most definitely physical touch, with acts of service coming second. He loves the feel of you- from something as simple as your hand in his to the more sensual, romantic skin-to-skin moments you share- he always wants to have a part of you against him. He loves how you show your affection through touch, and he is always eager to receive it. He’s a very generous lover, so if you ask that he give you frequent words of affirmation, he will eagerly rise to the challenge. Although, if we’re being honest, Halsin’s already quite the verbal lover, never wasting an opportunity to call you ‘my heart’. 

As an INTP, your more logical side balances out his more emotional ENFJ one. 

The two of you bring wholeness and balance to each other’s lives. 

Karlach would also be a great fit for you! She’s fun-loving, energetic, and full of zest for life, and all of that extends to her relationship with you!

She thinks the height difference between you two is absolutely adorable, and she WILL give you all the forehead kisses because of it. Karlach also loves how you experiment with your hair color. She herself has red streaks in her hair. (Not sure if that’s natural for her or if she’s dyed it, but either way, fun hair colors are something she likes.) 

She doesn’t mind that you’re skinny either, it just gives her all the more incentive to protect you. She does worry sometimes, that your thinness makes you more prone to injury or illness, but she does her best to keep those concerns to herself. She wouldn’t want to trouble you with them, besides, so long as she’s there, no one can touch you- not with your big tiefling barbarian girlfriend there to protect you. And don’t worry about the no boobs or butt thing. Karlach’s own chest is more scar tissue than anything at this point, so she doesn’t look at bodies that way. She thinks your form is fucking gorgeous because your soul is fuckoing gorgeous to her. 

And it’s a good thing you like animals, because Karlach loves them as well. She thinks the owlbear cub is just the cutest little guy she’s ever seen, and she’s glad despite your past experience, you’re not afraid of him or any animal other people might be too afraid or freaked out by to love. Also I know this is totally random, but I could totally see Karlach being a great bird mom to a macaw or a parrot. And yes, she would teach them swear words. 

Kalarch is loyal to a fault. In the past her loyalty cost her a great deal, but she still believes in having trust in the ones you love. It may take her a little bit longer to get there, but once she trusts you, she’s very much ride or die, and she expects you to be the same. 

Karlach is obsessed with anything and everything you create. She loves it all so much. She’s constantly going round showing your art to everyone in camp, bragging about how cool and creative her partner is. She’s not super artistic, and she can’t sing to save her life, but god, she loves people who are good at the arts so much. She’s amazed at their talent and you are no exception. 

As an INTP, you’ll want to be a little more sensitive around Karlach’s ESFP, especially when it comes to her expressing her emotions. She’s a strong girl, that’s for sure, she’s survived ten years in the hells! But life has not been kind to her. The people she once trusted, betrayed her, and she needs to feel secure in her romantic relationship as a result- she can’t get the sense that you’re being insincere or just biding your time as she shares how she feels. 

I hope you enjoyed it!

Please Like, but most importantly REBLOG!

Reblogs share my work with other blogs, creating a wider audience. 

A/N 2.0: Apologies for the delay. Posting will probably happen 1x/week with how things are going.

[dj-of-the-coven]

Hit me with your favorite defunct website

You will regret this.

Have you ever felt isolated by the modern internet, or nostalgic for the way that you can vaguely--but not entirely--remember experiencing as a child? Well I can't speak for everyone, but the past few years certainly have left me feeling that way. Certain nostalgia posts made circa 2021 got my brain churning in that direction, dredging up ancient memories of reading personal blogs and spending hours on flash game websites that were more or less entirely nuked from the internet by my adulthood. The more I remembered, the more distressed I felt by their absence, even though it'd been years since I even remembered most of that stuff existed...

Aside from Animal Jam, I wasn't sure if anything I knew from my mid 2000s-early 2010s childhood experience was out there on the web somewhere--so, I did as any normal teenager would and I started doing copious amounts of research into a subject that basically didn't exist. I discovered the internet archive entirely on accident; spent days examining the layout of early youtube and any other sites I could remember, navigating by year and trying to figure out when everything took a turn for the worst. I started browsing through webcore tags on tumblr just to get close to what I wanted, because "old internet" yielded few results at the time, and google's input was less than useless. Only a few blogs on tumblr had the kind of content I was looking for, but eventually I struck gold when one of them pointed me in a brand new direction of hope.

This is when I discovered neocities.

Of course, I was already familiar with the webhosting platform of geocities from the old days. Geocities was one of the primary hosting platforms that I remembered without the help of research, but you may already have guessed by the lack of a link that it's dead--and you'd be right. It actually shut down back in 2009, which I learned through the same post that advertised its independent successor. For some reason, I'd always associated the memory with the time I was in kindergarten, but the date of shutdown actually confirmed that I must've known about it earlier, making the platform one of my first memories! It's been gone for a while, but not the impression of it that I had as a core pillar in my early web experience. And then there was neocities. What was that? I immediately went to investigate.

Of course, I was mostly doing this in between two late-night bussing jobs to afford my shitty apartment, aside from being in my final year of high school, so progress was slow. At the starbucks next to my school, I was always holed up in the corner during my short window of off-time with a coffee and my computer setup. It took some time, but I began browsing through the top pages one-by-one, following links and cataloguing where they led to. I took stock of which sites linked to one another. Eventually, I noticed a pattern: a lot of them linked back to a website called sadgrl.online, a purple and black neon haven of internet culture run by a webmaster known as Sadness. Everyone say hello to our defunct website of the hour!

At the time, the thing was absolutely bustling. Almost all of the most popular sites on neocities were linked to Sadness' site somehow, usually through her button collection. My own personal site, which I started building around that time, also contained one of her web buttons. She has several, but her most popular one looks like this. (I apologize if you're on mobile. It will NOT look good.)

I was intrigued! In a community so removed from the usual mainstays of the internet, there existed a blog that hundreds of neocities users were visiting every day, and I very quickly became one of them once I finished looking through her thought-provoking essays on programming and web culture. Her site went through a number of layout changes while I was a regular visitor--the vast majority of them are catalogued on the site itself if not also on the internet archive. It was a blog dedicated to the exact thing that I was interested in; what I had been searching for since the modern web started rubbing me the wrong way in my burgeoning adulthood. Her page prominently featured an essay on the faults of centralized internet and her journey to foster a space more accepting of individuality, information, and creativity without thought of profit. I was totally enamored, especially with the appealing gothic graphics that surrounded the lengthy text!

(here's a capture from August 2022)

Aside from Sadness, several other active community members had formed an alliance of websites dedicated to the preservation of old internet culture and the cultivation of unique online spaces. These people called themselves the Yesterweb. The yesterweb was run mainly by webmasters known as Auzzie Jay, Madness, Tsvety, Grafo, Cinni, Vincent, Iris, and Sadness herself, but webmaster Melon (of MelonLand fame) also ran a forum that was parallel to the movement. The yesterweb was a massive project that included an online newspaper, a web radio station, several introductory programming manuals, a forum, web-themed essays from neocities users, button makers, layout creators, and terms and definitions for people new to the decentralized experience. It was easy to get lost in it all... for a time, the rabbit hole felt endless and exciting.

Every day, I returned to check updates on Sadness' various projects while I began work on my own website. She had totally convinced me of my own convictions--I bought the dream hook, line, and sinker. My only goal for a while was for my site to eventually be included in the yesterweb webring alongside all these amazing programmers. I wanted to contribute to the world of creativity that I could only dream of when HTML was still just meaningless jargon to me! But I was too slow learning the languages necessary, and the yesterweb was just growing too fast to be contained. I dipped for a few months to focus on my move to a new city, and by the time I returned, the whole yesterweb had disappeared scorched-earth style.

Okay, so what the fuck happened?

Currently, on the front page of what used to be a hopeful and inspiring collection of internet resources, there's a long essay made by the webmasters who founded the project, detailing burnout and massive stress due to the community growing faster than they could moderate it. It is certainly not poorly-intentioned. However, the discovery was absolutely devastating to me. My dream had gone up in smoke before I could even try to reach it, and I was apparently a part of the problem by caring so much about it. The radio station is gone. The webring was deleted. The forums shut down. My favorite webmasters' sites were no longer being updated. I felt awful for the people who had been affected by all this stress and pressure, but after so long of working to join the movement, I felt betrayed by their abandonment. The yesterweb disappeared in almost exactly the same way the old web did the first time--ripped from my fingers before I was able and ready to participate. And I can only wonder... what happened to the goal of turning the internet back into a place for us? How did it get to the point of ruining these people's lives within the span of maybe two years? I'm really not sure. There's a lot about this story I still don't know, and there's not really a way to access the drama that happened in a discord server that I never joined. The information published on the yesterweb's page is the only reliable source I'm currently aware of.

Still, in spite of it all, Sadness' website has remained one of my major inspirations in programming and web philosophy. I may be in mourning about a dream that died before it could truly live, but whenever I think about the months that I spent eagerly browsing her site for updates, I remember that spark that initially inspired me to begin researching the net in the first place. She was a major player in the game--not the only one. The website that she created was my favorite while it was active, and now it is my favorite website that is currently defunct.

Thank you for coming to my tedtalk.

[sparrowchute]

Redoing my intro now that the original one is a few years old!!

Hiya!! My name's Phoenix, but I go by Miles and Simmons as well interchangeably, I have no strong preference :) I'm 21 years old and I use he/they pronouns!! This has been my primary blog since I was 13!!

I draw, but I'm pretty infrequent with posting my works on this site :< You'll mostly catch me reblogging content from other creators!! Most of my doodles get posted on my lil side instagram account (@/simmonsisms if you're ever curious >:3), but you'll catch me uploading here occasionally!! Most of my art gets tagged "#simmons likes to draw" or "#my art", but I forget sometimes, sorry!!

Here's a general summary of my main interests, and most of what you'll get from my account aside from memes I find funny :3

TAGGING SYSTEM:

-I am talkative in my tags!!! I talk in the tags of almost everything I reblog, so be prepared to deal with that!!

-All of my interests are usually tagged by name or abbreviation in case you need to blacklist anything!!

-Political reblogs are tagged "#politics", and due to me being in North America, a lot of my political reblogs are about North American politics.

-Posts centered around LGBTQ+ topics are tagged as "#pride" most usually!!

-Any signal boosts are usually tagged "#signal boost" and important topics that I do not feel I am qualified to speak about personally but still find very important to spread are tagged "#!!!!!".

-My general meme/funny post tag is "#funnies"!! Any reblogs that are just animals are tagged "#animals" (I am very fond of birds in particular fjghdfjgsh) and any photography is just tagged "#photography"!!

THIS BLOG FUCKING HATES TERFS/RADFEMS!!!!!!!!!! IF YOU'RE NOT GONNA RESPECT TRANS WOMEN GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM MY POSTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Aaaand I think that's everything!! Thank you for checkin' out my blog :> never be afraid to shoot me a message or an ask (especially if it's related to any of my interests!!!!!!!!!), I'd love to chat!! <333

[cannibalistic-vampirefag]

purple-hedgehog → cannibalistic-vampirefag

About me:

I'm Ed (Edwin/Edgar), I go by he/they pronouns [here's my pronouns page :3]. I am Italian, have adhd, and if I were an animal I'd be a ferret.

Non-binary transmasc, the dream is to look like a pretty boy from the 2000s. Maybe gay, maybe bi, maybe aromantic, but always asexual (will be making sexual innuendos/jokes/horny posts anyway).

Really into posting about cannibalism, vampires, queerness and current hyperfixations. Made a sideblog (@purple-hedgehog ) specifically for the Black Sails/fandom stuff but will occasionally post it on here too. Also have a sideblog specifically for my OCs + original stories ( @cannibalistic-werewolftranny ) so go follow it if you like weird, queer, mentally ill little guys who face incomprehensible horrors.

Tagging:

#🫀 for the (mentions of) cannibalism

#🦇 for the (mentions of) vampires

#🪦 for the meta/poetry posts

#📼 for the music stuff

#oc: [name] for posts about/that remind me of a specific original character of mine

#vampireposting for my original posts and ramblings

DNI + warnings + additional info:

bigots (obviously), including terfs, non-binary exclusionists, pro-lifers, and assholes in general

hardcore rpf shippers—I'm not gonna sit here and police fandom, but I do personally find it weird. this includes blogs dedicated/with a lot of posts about shipping real people, if it's only a few of posts I can just ignore them

this blog supports Palestine 🇵🇸, DNI if you are an Israel supporter

I reclaim slurs like fag and tranny, I don't usually trigger tag them

i want mutuals I love mutuals I wanna kiss mutals on the forehead and then bite them

[twilighttyto]

⭑✮ About Me!

Hello, my name is Twilight or Twi! I'm just a writer and artist with big dreams and an affection for a silly little Bean man from a Mario game. I'm not very used to being on social media so this'll be my first time really getting into Tumblr, excited to be here!

Im interested in a lot of different things as well, such as animation, comics, paleontology, speculative zoology, movies, and really anyone's art I find appealing. I'm also very much into writing and literature as well, I'm planning on writing my own material in the future so look out for that! will post about that in the later future.

what you will find here in this blog is me making art for myself, finding my passion for creating once more and honestly just gushing about Popple, my favorite crook and honestly? I love him. a lot. so much that I feel the need to openly express this deep affection by sharing it with others who will hopefully support me for who I love, and maybe in turn that happiness can spread.

i plan on posting semi-consistently, I made this blog to help me come out of my shell and feel less shy or embarrassed about the things I find genuine passion and inspiration in, so yeah! feel free to shoot a question every now and then, I'm usually not busy so i'll try to respond as soon as I get it. I have a lot to share about Popple and I!

this journey has been wild dude.

with that, here are just some personal boundaries of mine that i'd like to establish between us.

Boundaries (really only like one lol)

⭑ I really don't like to see any Popple x OC or Popple x Canon ships, this counts for selfships as well especially. it just makes me super uncomfortable, I have nothing against anyone I promise its just something I don't really feel okay with seeing. thank you!

Thank you so much for reading! stay curious, stay weird and don't let anyone tell you that you aren't strong, or brave or smart enough.

see you around.

[avidaraku]

Hi!!!! ʕ •̀ o •́ ʔ

welcome to my pinned post I honestly still dont know what to do with my blog like ever but still :) nice stuff. This blog contains whatever the fuck I reblog, including fandom and 18+ stuff - I do not tag my porn reblogs so if you're following me for fandom things, this is an all in one blog bc i do what i want <3 you are warned! leave if you dislike my beloved freak blog

|･ω･)

just be nice and kind babygirls, that's all i ask of <3 human decency lets go!!!! (ღ˘⌣˘ღ)

my ao3 account is https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daimashiko :) I like writing porn, my brain is constantly on khr mode :) I also never have any consistent name for my accounts, so thats also why my names are different. Hi to any discord friends who know me from well, discord <3 im sure u guys are familiar with my socials in this case

TAGS. ─=≡Σ((( つ＞＜)つ ／(＞×＜)＼

#my art (very self explanatory I am not a creative person with names?? sorryyyyy - i also considered making my art tag into artvidaraku but like. thats too much effort jklsjgkldKJDF:SJ:JKL:JK:LDG ;;)

#khr (that is my main fandom ofc <333 - overlaps with my art but also other people's khr stuff so haha... its a mess but oh well)

#poll (i like answering them! or just reblogging polls i wanted to volunteer in but its too late </3)

#lotta tags (i tend to comment a lot in tags but these are the ones where i usually write like. a lot of commentary to the point im like ohhhh i should tag this right? curious if anyone's ever went through them but also i've never talked abt these things so. oopsssss <3 - lot of it is kinda sad / depressing but usually i am pretty reflective. kinda?)

#animals (self explanatory. i love me some fucking creatures. respect nature babygirls i adore them fellas <3)

#tumblr classic (i love getting to see the classics / things i'd personally consider a classic on my feed)

#fandom (this one's pretty commonly used! yadda yadda, talks abt fanfic and stuff / sometimes i get disappointed with fandom but that's not new lol)

#fashion (i don't use this as much as I should be?? but if you want to check out what i think is fun / a vibe <3)

#avidarecs (****i literally just made this on impulse so there's not much rn but i want to share more of my recs for things in general! fandom / songs / whatever other thing comes to mind?***// will probably be rarely used? but you never know~)

there might be more tags I haven't included but from the top of my head this is it?? Might add more, i have no clue. But anyways back to my other interests and what I'm into!

media i like: khr (its number one bc i am unable to pry reborn's hands on my stupid silly little soul so i cannot escape even if i wanted to), slay the princess + scarlet hollow (games made by the same studio. i love the art and vibes sooo much and also the fanart is sooo beautiful), Jenna Marbles (i've been obsessed w her stuff recently and I hope she's having a good time w her dogs and Julien :), kpop (honestly its only just loona bc im tired and feel old as fuck despite only being in my 20s so i am not gonna get into another thing lol), and sanrio!!! i love my melody she's a cutie patootie <3

-probably more stuff I like but this post would be a lot longer

I'm certain its obvious but I am a proshipper (also i am always in rarepair hell girl HELP. but also i will chain myself to that random mix of characters without prompting. ah....), if you don't like proshippers, leave my page and block me <3

But anyways my fav tropes (i definitely have more i just cant think of them but in general im chill with lots of stuff!)

incest (i am so fr when i say somehow i always revolve around incest ships they're just soooo good. my brain is absolutely destroyed in favor of tasty fucking food. shout out to incest shippers you guys rock luv yall :3)

age gap / size difference (these tropes are lovers and they're already fucking each other within one yard of each other. good fucking food yk?)

any toxic/problematic food (necro + lolisho rights!!!) in general. i am just. yeahhhhhhhhhhh MMMM LOAD THAT SHIT UP. i also have very little memory but still whatever

genderbend - i know it's a dwindling trope in popularity but there is nothing better than mindlessly turning a guy chara into a girl like wow..... so hot.... <3 this has also been a long time trope i've adored and i'll probably never stop using it bc its just that good for me <3 mmm. girls. cute.

monsterfucker stuff is great! (does this include animal hybrids? im going to include it with that soooo)

i think this is enough, but also before you go explore whatever maze my blog is in bc i cant be bothered enough by my blog, i will also reblog things in tandem to politics / real world things (I support Palestine <3). Am American. Am Mess. But I hope the world is kinder even just a little bit more. This world is cruel, but I hope we can continue to offer each other support and love, even when times are harrowing as always.

(っ ᵔ◡ᵔ)っ have a hug/kiss!!!! (i like gifs hehe)

[hungeringheart]

Inaugural Classpect Analysis Post: Witch of Life

Doing my own most recent one, Witch of Life, first, and then I'll probably work through more as they're requested or occur to me.

So, all right, let's get into it!

There beneath the willow tree

I learned a lot about the way of things

I learned that everything (the wind, the leaves)

Has breath inside

~ There Beneath (The Oh Hellos)

Witch of Life is a difficult one because it's one of the canon matchups - my patron troll is actually Vriska, but I'm classpect and ezodiacmates with Feferi, whatever that might or might not mean for me (it means I have an evil fuchsia blorbo, for one).

For the gentle reader it means that Feferi is a canonical example whom we now have to analyze as realized or not, and we will get to that (which is also my opinion about her realization or not). But first we have to find out what a witch is, and what Life means in Homestuck.

So our canon witches are Feferi, Jade and Damara. The wiki tells us all kinds of things about witches, but it's actually all fanon, so we should be careful about how we handle things. It is true that witches are an active (-) class, but here's the rationale behind the fanon definition.

So, the best the fandom has been able to glean from Jade warping space, Feferi healing others and mimicking their abilities, and Damara ... um ... well, Damara, is that all three of them had the basic ability and inclination to fuck around with their aspect. Damara spent her Time Fucking Around until she was required to Fuck Around with Time; Feferi fucked around with the course of life (her animals) and with her own and other lives (her position on the hemospectrum) and with biology itself (every shown manifestation of her Lifey Thing); Jade lived out her life just sort of fucking around with and in space in general (where she lived, what she did in-session, why her dream self was always awake).

Thus, we can assume that the fanon definition of a witch as "one who manipulates or changes their aspect, and their world through it" is fairly spot-on. We may also define it more idiosyncratically as "one who has and uses the power to fuck around". Do they have to find out? Well, maybe not all the time -- certainly not as Doom or Void players...

But let's continue on to considering Life, which is more complicated.

Clearly and obviously we know what Life usually symbolizes in video games, and we have our own preconceptions about it as an elemental force. But what does it mean in Homestuck, to SBURB's internal symbology? What sort of hero exactly is the lifekind (perchance)?

Sea Hitler, that's what kind. No, really, the only Life heroes we have are Her Imperious Condescension Meenah "Betty Crocker" Peixes, and her children (Feferi [biologically] and Jane [socially]). Sweet Baby Ray, what a lineup. I'd normally not even mention it on a blog like this, but in this specific context is it anything that I'm Jewish?

Fuckin eh. All right. Let's examine what it is that Fef, Meenah and Jane have in common as characters and in their arcs.

To refresh:

Meenah, Jane and Fef are all "heiresses" of some sort.

Meenah and Feferi are young members of a rare troll biocaste destined to rule their world (if one of them can kill the other for it). It seems like they have a lot of agency in their world, but they don't really - at every step of their existence, the powers that be make decisions that affect them in deep and fundamental ways. Their only objective in life is really to survive it, for all however many billion years they're given.

It's my personal headcanon that mother grubs have some level of control over the brood. It's stated in canon that the "ancestor" relationship is rooted in some kind of an appreciation of a person's most similar predecessor. The genetic relationships between ancestors and descendants are probably not always literal (a person can be the centuries-delayed biological offspring of their ancestor, a biological sibling created from the same genetic material, or in fact the offspring or clone of a direct ancestor of their social ancestor, or something else).

I think if they can hold gametes for potentially centuries, they can also probably sort the material and consciously select the blood caste of their young. This means that mother grubs have the ability to choose when a new fuchsia is born. Of course, it's not like there's a strongly enforced law against just killing the resulting grubs, and raspberry syrup has to come from somewhere -- and that too is an administrative choice, made either directly by jades or by jades at the behest of the reigning Empress.

The point here is that for an Alternian heiress her entire continued existence is a matter of public opinion and the whims of her predecessor and the machinery of state, going all the way down to her own mother (which some of the hivebent adjacent stuff seems to imply might be an elite jade who undergoes some sort of helmsmanlike second metamorphosis rather than just the naturally occurring royal jelly-induced gyne I expected, which would add a circular dimension to this that is ... oddly horrifying. in your own fanon you can do what i do and ignore it if you want).

Enmeshment in this multigenerational spidernest of trauma is a really miserable way to live -- you constantly have to struggle to prove that you're worthy, that you deserve to live, that you're good enough and strong enough to be deemed fit to exist. And considering who Meenah is as a result, it's no wonder that the Condesce (as Betty Crocker) passed the intergenerational trauma torch to Jane.

Since they all fulfill the same culture role (albeit adapted for the colonized Earth in one case) and are directly socially related (Feferi is Meenah's successor in one timeline, Jane in another) we can meaningfully talk about the impact of the same system on all of them -- and about how they reconciled themselves to it, and what they did to fight for their own survival and right to growth.

It's that fight that's essential to the Life aspect -- the struggle to live, to thrive, no matter what, against all imaginable odds. Vitality, vigour, the state of life, the persistence of life against scrutiny and pathologization. Rejuvenation, plenty, and the ability to exert your will in your own life. The constant striving-to-be of all that is, and the way of things, which is comprised by it.

For Meenah, a Thief of Life, her relationship to her aspect was opportunistic and desperate -- she took whatever she could for her own benefit, and was willing to take considerable risks to fuck around and find out. Fuck her predecessor, fuck the system and fuck the entire world -- all of it had done nothing of any worth for her (as a person, as a child), and she felt within rights to claw everything out of it in revenge. Ultimately her hatred of and refusal to be beholden to the Alternian system, selfish and maladjusted as she was, led her to abdicate, run away, and enmesh her friends in the game, sealing their fates and giving her accidental control over their stolen lives. In that control she was manipulative and callous, sowed hostility among her acquaintances in the probably traumatic belief that struggle would help them survive. That's how she made it this far, isn't it?

For Jane, her alternate-universe daughter-figure and a Maid, her relationship to her aspect was servile and self-essentializing. Adult Meenah's parenting philosophy (if you can call it that) was a mirror of her AU self's style of play, with the same obsession with winning and the same roots in a simple wish to be good enough to live, good enough at living, good enough at helping others live.

With that kind of mother figure, even at the distance that they had, and with her other parent being AU Dad, it's no wonder that Jane (a Maid of Life) turned out the way she did -- initially a pushover, reliant on others for agency, for healing and to flourish. How else was she supposed to survive and preserve that thing most sacred to a child, the sense that things are as they should be?

It may also be worth exploring that Jane was a member of a species where all of one sex has the ability to reproduce, to create life and to know that they did so -- and Meenah was not, and their relationship was at least partly contextualized by that. But we can talk about that in a different post; what about Feferi?

Now that we've established an archetypal relationship between two people defined by the struggle that typifies Life players, and begun to shed light on a relation of Life to cycles (of cellular repair, of bad choices, of maturing, of abuse -- "that's just life, you know"?), we can talk about what it means that one part of this cycle tried to break it.

Feferi went out of her way to be as sweet as possible and to save the most possible lives -- bending the rules of struggle was the way she chose to respond to the pressure and the social dynamic that damaged Meenah and severely affected Jane.

She had absolutely no clue what she was doing at any point, but I think that's what typifies the idea of the Witch of Life to me: somebody who tries to understand, tries to exist in the system into which they were introduced, but ultimately decides that the best thing they can do to win is not to play by the rules at all.

Early fandom tended to take the trolls' side regarding how adaptive was Feferi's relentless optimism and at least attempt to refuse to be a bad person. In text and probably internally, Feferi deals with a lot of pressure to be a certain way, and questioning of her motivations for acting otherwise. From a hopepunk point of view, and from the point of view that she's a victim of the same institutions as everyone else who refused to let all this make her cruel, we can examine the possibility that Fef really was doing the best she could, sincerely, at all times. Her existence was defined by struggle, albeit struggle that was different in kind from the rest of her society's struggle, and she didn't want to pass more suffering on to others. She wanted to flourish outside the "rules" of flourishing, which in her society said that it was inherently impossible and maybe even immoral to ensure flourishing for anyone else.

Now, is she phenomenally weird about it, does she not apprehend her own sociopolitical context contra those of her friends, and does she fail spectacularly? Sure, but she's also thirteen. At thirteen anybody's idea of saving the whales is going to be a little odd and disrespectful of the whales' agency - how much more so if they're a future absolute monarch (or human sacrifice) in a society that's totalitarian and soulless, and can only envision its opposite in a historical stifling paternalism?

I'm, apparently, a Witch of Life myself, and maybe that biases me a little bit, but I think that what all of this means about the classpect is that a Witch of Life is someone who aims to manipulate or change or at least reject the circumstances of struggle and flourishing, the "life" about which people say "that's life" for people.

I think it's actually quite a noble thing to strive for if you're an adult, who has finished coming of age -- but to replace a system, one needs to be able to envision and make something that works in its stead. Even works only provisionally -- but works. Feferi never fully realized her potential to do this for her society, although her SBURB powers developed well; it seems like a similar type of journey should take place for other Witches of Life as well, in which control over bodily integrity, cellular life and well-being evolves into control over circumstances and conditions for themselves and others. Life at the micro and macro scale, broadening perspective from cell to ecosystem.

The journey is not easy, and requires experience and the cultivation of a particular type of thinking about oneself and the world that takes a long time and lucky experiences to achieve -- no wonder that at least one person forced by a possibly sadistic space cancer game to rush through a Life-related development process became Sea Hitler.

Overview

Overall, Witch of Life is a very strong classpect potentially, with the ability to manipulate, alter or reframe life itself (life-force, biological matter and the abstract concept of flourishing) -- but the work required to realize oneself in it is something that we all struggle with, well past Feferi's age. Maybe that's why it was given to the single longest-living person in the cast?

A fully realized Witch of Life would have a developed sense of what to and what not to screw with, I think; they would be someone with a very strong sense of the way of things, and a very strong sense of what parts of it are truly essential. They would be able to bend their Aspect to their will, but also aware of the impact their will has on their Aspect, in a human carnivore's resolution of the enrichment paradox.

Was it Ursula Le Guin who once wrote that the more agency someone has, the more power someone has, the less they actually choose to do? The more choices are made, the fewer choices remain, until despite the fact that the world is open to you, there remains one "correct" way to go. I think this is probably something that Life players learn sooner than others -- but not in the way that Doom or Rage players do, where the focus is on the nature of inevitability or the application of zeal to do what you can do. For Life players, this process is underscored by a need to understand that while their own struggle is essential, everything else wants to live too, and there is no evil in that -- a shift from personal to system-focused thinking. Cell to ecosystem.

For Witches of Life, despite their ability to change their world, I think the real end goal on their journey in-game is coming to a place and time when they've struggled enough, meddled enough, done enough for the situation at hand, personally -- a literal journey through the life course and the different stages of involvement in the generational struggle, in miniature.

Oh, yeah, and they can sprout improbable vines from the ground and resurrect the recent dead, that's cool too.

[sweetcloudsandwich]

hi! i'm ferris. i use he/it/she, and i'm an age regressor (regression age range difficult for me to pinpoint but i think its around 1-6).

🚫 nsfw/abdl please dni, i am an adult but this blog is meant to be purely sfw (like something you could show to an actual child), and for that reason i am uncomfortable with people interacting for sexual purposes 🚫

more about me under the cut!

i have a lot of hobbies! most have to do with making things (drawing, animating, making music, writing) but i also love to read as well. picture books (especially little golden books) make me very happy when i'm little.

i also love to color when regressed so i may post some coloring sheets on this blog.

i have a few pacifiers, blankies, and i've also got a LOT of plushies. i can't not have a big ol plushie horde in my room at all times ehehe. i particularly like things that are blue.

i occasionally wear and use diapers when i'm little, but NEVER for sexual purposes. they're comfortable to me emotionally and sensory-wise. if you think diaper usage is inherently sexual or something please kindly navigate away from my blog.

i may speak using simpler, "younger" words while regressed but i don't do any baby talk. i do babble tho

not currently looking for a cg, my bf usually takes that role. if i ever do go searching for one though i'd prefer a motherly figure over a fatherly one. i'm not very comfortable with the idea of having a dad, sorry :(

i'm kind of sensitive abt revealing my main blog. if you know me personally you know what it is. if you don't, please wait for me to give it to you instead.

thanks for reading!

[engin33rgaming]

DISPENSER GOIN' UP!

Hi, call me Engie. (Not an introject of the engineer, I just like him!) I use He/His, She/Hers, and any Neopronouns.

Before you go through my blog, I'd like you to know some stuff.

I'm an introject from the Hydrangea System. Endos and/or Singlets are not welcome on my blog for safety reasons. Thank you.

Also, here's the system's DNI, I suggest you read it. /srs

Anyways, more info about me below! Enjoy your stay!

About me

I don't use my introject name in posts because the fandom I'm from is rather small (meaning singlets can find me easily). But I do get referred to as Darnie by my boyfriends. (You do NOT get to use that name! Sorry.)

I use emoticon gifs to indicate emotional tone sometimes, I'm using them a lot in this post to make sure I come across correctly. (My typing style can be a bit dry sometimes.) If you ever need clarification feel free to ask me. I really don't mind. /g

I'm usually fronting with at least 1 of my sourcemates nearby, so if we suddenly switch places, I probably got intimidated. It's not you, I'm just a bit of a coward when it comes to socialization.

Stuff I like

OH BOY time for you to know about my HYPERFIXATIONS!!!

I really really love video games! My favorites are TF2 and Audiosurf, but I adore rhythm games sooooo much! Some of the ones I like are Rhythm Heaven, Beatmania, Guitar Hero, Osu, and JSaB.

Also! I like animated shows, some of my favorites are My Little Pony, Dragon Ball Z, and Keep Your Hands Off Eizouken. Though The Muppets is also a favorite of mine even if it's not animated.

I like drawing shitposts of system stuff in MSPaint, but if I ever get enough spoons at front I may draw some TF2 fanart!

Boundaries

Keep in mind I'm an introject of a black character in a white body. I won't elaborate further for my own sanity but people are very weird about introjects like that. Just remember systems can't chose who they split. Thanks.

I'm more than happy to strike up a conversation with any other systems out there, just keep in mind I'm not super good at long convos. (Constant low social spoons) It's not you! I'm just tired!

I'm cringe and proud of that fact! I'm aware that most people on tumblr fall under that general umbrella but still, I don't appreciate being bullied for being neurodivergent, alright?

My partner's blogs

My inspace partners have blogs too! If you like mine you might like xeirs as well. Though keep in mind all of xeirs are 18+.

Pax, the Gordon from my timeline. hapax-legomena-2104

LoveBug, the Benrey from my timeline strawberrylovebug

Tayrey, LoveBug's Benrey from his other timeline zipfmystery2002

Blinkies

Here's some blinkies I grabbed from PixelBank!

[crow-mortis]

༶•┈┈⛧┈ꉓꋪꂦꅏ

⛧°。ᵗʰⁱʳᵗʸ⁻ᵒⁿᵉ ⛧ ⁿᵒⁿᵇⁱⁿᵃʳʸ ⛧ ᵖᵃⁿ ⛧ ʷʳⁱᵗᵉʳ ⛧ ᵖʰᵒᵗᵒᵍʳᵃᵖʰᵉʳ 。 °⛧

ᴬᴼ³⛧ ᵏᵒᶠⁱ ⛧ ᵗʷⁱᵗᵗᵉʳ ⛧ ᵍᵒᵒᵈʳᵉᵃᵈˢ ⛧ ˢᵖᵃᶜᵉʰᵉʸ

⛧°。 ┊ my stuff.

ʙᴏʀʀᴏᴡᴇᴅ ᴛɪᴍᴇ - ᴘᴀᴛʜᴏʟᴏɢɪᴄ - ᴀʀᴛᴇᴍʏ ʙᴜʀᴀᴋʜ/ғ.ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ Jᴏɪɴ ᴍʏ Pᴀᴛʜᴏʟᴏɢɪᴄ Fᴀɴ Dɪsᴄᴏʀᴅ Sᴇʀᴠᴇʀ

⛧°。┊ fandoms.

ᴘᴀᴛʜᴏʟᴏɢɪᴄ, ᴘᴀᴛʜᴏʟᴏɢɪᴄ 2, ᴅᴇsᴛɪɴʏ, ᴅᴇsᴛɪɴʏ 2, ᴅᴀʀᴋᴡᴏᴏᴅ, ᴀ sᴏɴɢ ᴏғ ɪᴄᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ғɪʀᴇ, ᴍᴀss ᴇғғᴇᴄᴛ, ᴅʀᴀɢᴏɴ ᴀɢᴇ, ᴀɴɪᴍᴇ, ᴍᴀɴɢᴀ, ᴛᴏʟᴋɪᴇɴ-ᴠᴇʀsᴇ, ʀᴇᴅ ʀɪsɪɴɢ

⛧°。┊about/dni

Not everyone has all of their info in their "About Me" so I figured I'd provide this list for anyone checking out my profile. DO NOT INTERACT IF YOU ARE:

⛧ under 18

⛧ racist

⛧ lgbtqia+phobic *including transmeds, exclusionists, terfs and illegitmate sexualities/pronouns - i.e. MAP nor/mal, etc. (if they're meant to mock someone, i don't fw you)

⛧ pro-birth/pro life

⛧ xenophobic/islamophobic

⛧ sexist/misogynistic

⛧ pedophilic/MAP

⛧ ableist

⛧ anti-vax/anti-medicine

⛧ I also don't fw animal abuse, MAGA, blue lives matter, or general bigots.

I can/will add to this if I think of/run across more.

more under the cut !

This is the hardest thing for me to do on any social media website. I'm horrible at talking about myself unless it's in relation to one of my interests. Which, I'll briefly list below:

⛧ music

⛧ video games

⛧ creepy stuff/cryptids/ARGs

⛧ gardening/homesteading

⛧ crows

⛧ oddities/"vulturecore"

⛧ writing

⛧ photography

⛧ reading

I'm sure I have more I'll end up adding here eventually, but I can't ever think of many things I like right off the top of my head.

Call me Crow. I'm 31 y/o, nonbinary, pansexual, and my pronouns are they/them. I'm married and we have two dogs, one cat, a parrot, and twenty-four chickens (I post about all of them a lot so you'll probably get to know them well if you follow my blog.) We live on a 2 acre homestead in southern Appalachia. I practice conjure and rootwork that was taught to me by family and neighbors growing up. I love to forage and make my own herbal salves and tinctures, as well as canned items like preserves and jellies. My partner and I are also professional portrait and event photographers, and I love posting our work whenever I get the chance.

My favorite band is Coheed and Cambria, with Sleep Token and Ghost following closely behind. I'm an old school emo kid, and I also listen to a lot of pop-punk, numetal, and post-hardcore. I also dive into j-rock and SOME Appalachian gothic, neotraditional country, bluegrass, and folk music. My tastes are a little all over the place and if it sounds good I'll probably like it.

I am a gamer, and my favorite game is a tie between Bloodborne, Baldur’s Gate 3 and RDR2. I have also been playing Destiny 2 since the launch of Destiny 1 in 2014, and I fall in and out of love with it every few weeks. Depends on what the content is giving me at that time. I also really like Minecraft and other comfy games like Stardew Valley and Animal Crossing. I'm a huge fan of horror games and I especially love the ones with deep and interesting lore and worldbuilding.

I'm a writer, and have been actively doing so since I was 11 years old. I haven't published anything, as it's more of a hobby for me than anything (plus imposter syndrome sucks). I have a world building project/RP that I've had going with a friend of mine for almost a decade now. I love thinking of/writing new characters and short stories. I used to write fanfiction but I'm not consistent enough to post multiple-part fics anymore, and my schedule doesn't leave much time for that sort of devotion. So, for now, it's just a hobby I get to enjoy with a few select friends.

I'm really into creepy content. Cryptids, cosmic horror, ARGs, analog horror, and the occult. I've seen a lot of what there is to offer on YouTube, so I'm always open to suggestions on stuff that I may not have heard of. I also like to collect bones, antlers, and other oddities.

I'm a big reader, and I'm currently doing a 52 week book challenge for 2024. I usually read 2-3 books at a time for when my ADD says I need something different.

I am also autistic and was diagnosed as an adult (age 27). I also have relapsing/remitting MS; it affects my short term memory, vision, and balance, primarily. I also sometimes have some other cognitive issues (forgetting/flubbing words, names, etc.) I am on treatment for a few of the symptoms, but it does impact my daily life.

I think that's about it. Sorry for the wall of text, but I really don't know how else to format this.

[liz-and-the-blue-bird]

Good evening to me

Since I've gotten some new followers: "Good ___ to me" indicate long personal posts. You don't have to read them ofc, they're mostly for me down the line.

This is kind of a weird one, it's mostly reflective stuff today. I don't usually make these without a lot of negative or at least melancholic emotions to work through. Regardless, I want to stop writing about the recent ex, but a lot of this is going to be tangential to her, so she'll pop up a few times. However, I want to focus on some personal thoughts that I've been thinking about.

Here's a song.

Right at the end of February, I took an OCEAN test or a "Big Five Personality" test. This is actually unusual among personality tests, it is actually supported by Psych research. Results tend to not change over a long period of time, etc. etc. You can take it yourself here, and be sure to share with me your results! I'd love to see them. In the meantime, here are my results:

The Extraversion and Openness to experience being so high is unusual, I think. It means a lot of what makes me comfortable involves art and people, or perhaps as an extension of that, expressing myself and communicating. With this context in mind, I've started to look back at my personal history. Moments where I'm sad or melancholic, I tend to write. When I was very young, it started with poetry, but now it has evolved into these journal entries. And I guess the reason I prefer to make them public is because of that extraversion, that longing to communicate with people my ideas or emotion.

Speaking of, I found a bunch of old notebooks the first week of March. So I've been reading through them all. And by a lot, I mean a lot:

And then, even older notebooks.

You can tell these are older because I doodled things on them. I never doodle anymore.

The first batch, the moleskins and stuff like that are primarily journals. Or at the very least, notes on what happened. The one that is open actually started 4 days after the ex 8 years ago. After a week of being sad and noting every single thing that has been happening, it abruptly jumps 8 months to me complaining about something else because I was not a very consistent note taker.

Meanwhile the one with the bird on it is actually a poetry notebook, before I started preferring to write exclusively online aka in the tumblr editor. The last poem written in there is Sucks. Then I stopped writing poetry for a very long time, and a lot of my writing energy became these journal entries, as well as other stuff on this blog, usually regarding anime.

The older notebooks, the spirals, are pretty much all poetry notebooks back from middle school and early high school. Though there's a few where I just doodled a bunch. They date all the way back to end of middle school.

But the poems SUCK. Like they're REALLY BAD. Most of them are actually on DeviantArt however, so they actually had an audience. Had.

I enjoyed looking through them. Interestingly, a lot of the love poems in them are reference to my first first girlfriend in middle school/high school. There was even a photo of us from back then, which was a big surprise. I don't remember much from her other than, well, making out a lot. I liked making out. I still do, but it started there.

We were a problem. We made out on all the band trips home. We would be late to band practice because I had brought her to a quiet corner of the school to just make out with her straddling me or me grabbing her butt. We made out so much in the practice rooms that the band directors ended up putting up signs in the band room saying to limit PDA ("no purpling" I think is what they said).

But I digress. I don't know her anymore. And she has such a common name that I wouldn't be able to stalk her if I wanted to.

Here's an indie song I just learned about and have recently been obsessed with.

I already kind of feel normal. I have spikes down but I've started waking up at 7/10 instead of 3/10 and winding up. 7/10 is about my default state. 10/10 is like... On a date with a girlfriend who I know is excited to be with me. 1/10 is trying to decide if life is worth living. 7/10 is "would dance to One Direction if it started playing right now".

I had a moment about a month after the break up where I just had a really bad breakdown. It was a combination of some more bottled up thoughts about the relationship that I had trouble finding a reason to write down or tell anyone and how poorly I had been taking care of myself and my surroundings because of my mental state. And I told it all out to a very old friend of mine. She comforted me but she said something that has made me feel better the most since the break up happened.

"But the fact that you're here, telling me this in this moment, just shows how much you cared and how much you can care for people."

It made me feel better. A lot better.

My capacity to care.

I care about a lot of things, very deeply, and often for very little reason. Stuff like the most efficient route to work, or my specific boba order that tries to get the "most drink per drink." How I tend to pause and stare at the sky for no real reason other than it's there and I won't see another like it. How I overthink things and memorize useless things. But this is the first time that that I've been told and thus realized, that it is no weakness or weirdness.

It's a strength. It's just me. A tremendous capacity to care.

I've been holding on to that ever since. I hope I don't forget it. Because from my old poetry and journal entrees, I tend to let girls and myself gaslight me into thinking that me caring about them so much, "too much" is a fault of my own. It isn't.

It isn't. It isn't. It isn't.

It is simply me.

But anyway.

I've started talking to a new girl. I've made it clear I just got out of a relationship, just to be fair to her, and tbh I'm not super certain on her, but it feels like I just want to see where this goes. I just really really want to meet people right now.

I think I have always had this fetish for nostalgia. Where I couldn't fall in love with anyone who I hadn't known for a long time. I think I learned about this very recently, and was why I was so aromatic until I re-met the ex. When I realized it, I started thinking I needed to grow out of it in some way. Especially if I'm actively trying to meet someone new. It's not that I wouldn't open up to people, I've always been a chronic oversharer (see, um, this entire tumblr post series), but rather I wouldn't feel supremely comfortable with people until I knew them for years.

But then a friend told me that my music taste is nostalgia. After I linked her that song I just linked. Because a lot of songs I send to her have this nostalgic feeling, even between different bands, genres, languages. Sometimes it's sad nostalgia, sometimes it's happy nostalgia, but it's definitely a longing for something deep and sentimental.

And I had just learned about that song.

This changed my feelings towards my "nostalgia fetish." I don't think I am looking for people who I have known for years. It just so happens that lot of my closest friends are that because I'm old and that's just how friends are when you're old. But I think it's moreso I'm looking for someone who has this same sentimentality. This same depth of emotion when looking at something old or close to them. My fetish for nostalgia isn't nostalgia for the person, but nostalgia in the person.

At least, I hope so.

Whatever, I'm looking forward to meeting new people.

Last song.

Many years ago, I remember the first time I felt normal after that break up. It was like 10 or 11pm and I was bringing someone home. They lived in Round Rock but I lived in downtown Austin, since I was a UT student at the time. After dropping them off, I still had like a 20 minute drive and I had just learned that The Summer Set's album, Legendary, had a deluxe edition, which that song I just linked is a part of. I look them up on youtube and hit play.

And on that drive home I found peace, somehow. I remember stopping before getting to the highway, next to a unkempt grassy field, and standing there, looking at the sky. I missed the sky and stars. I missed that hour drive home from her house when it was getting dark and you could see the constellations because I was between 2 medium sized cities. I missed that bumpy road that seemed perpetually under construction and twisted and winded and didn't make sense. I was a lonely boy who didn't have a place that felt like home and didn't know where he was going to end up. But I knew and, at least in that moment, was fine with it.

I still am that boy. But that constantly under construction road got finished in the past 8 years. That starry sky was gone, I noticed, from our drives to Austin together—too many small towns and buildings had popped up, too much light pollution. I thought I found a place person like home but it was a dusty extended stay motel that I ended up staying at for 5 months, with too high of a rent and a crummy landlord.

Last time I felt over her, I remember saying that my daydreams no longer had a girl on my shoulder. I felt really aromatic. Really antisocial. I became an island. And I don't know if I'm trying to replace her or what, but I don't think that will happen this time. I might be fine without a partner, but I know I am better with one. I know I'm ready.

For anything, really.