#i'd forgotten
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sometimes you're just innocently scrolling along down your dash and you read a post and you're just nodding along like "yep, good post"
and then a singular sentence leaps out and catches your throat in its teeth and your breath draws like a knife
because for fuck's sake, that goddamn tumblr post's single goddamn sentence just slapped the realization out of you that, before you had reckoned with how you had been abused and gaslit through your childhood, you used to pre-apologize for what was done to you when you described it to others, so they didn't get the wrong idea and understood,
"i was a difficult child" and that means it was, of course, at foundation your fault
you just never could make it easy to like you, you see, you were such a handful, such a problem child, so hard to tolerate without caveat, so hard to love because of the conditions you failed to meet
and you used to believe that, for so long you believed that, that you, unlike better children, were like playing parenting on nightmare mode
if only you hadn't been so stubborn if only you had just obeyed and not questioned if only you never argued or talked back if only you weren't such a liar, always such a liar
you believed it all, and because the ones meant to shelter and guard and hold you repeated these things so many times for so many years and with such vehemence... it had to be true
and it might just be the most cruel thing that was done to you
#abuse mention#i'd forgotten#i'd somehow FORGOTTEN that i always used to do that#that i'd explain to my worried friends why i was so miserable by frontloading that i was the problem#after all#that whole time i believed my childhood was normal and no big deal and wasn't anything REALLY wrong#because there were people who had it so much worse there was abuse that was obvious abuse so mine didn't count#i was just always making myself out to be a victim couldn't get over things like i was supposed to just exaggerating lying making excuses#and that slap in the face realization is heartbreaking#but the sweet follows the bitter with the next realization#''used to''#i used to say that#i used to believe that#but i've come so far from that i'd FORGOTTEN it#at least those words at least that one jagged-edged piece#and i used to say and believe that but i learned better so well that i KNOW it like it's always been the only truth#it wasn't my fault and i didn't bring it down on myself by being too much and not enough#by not being easy enough to raise or to love#i am not hard to love and i never was#i am enough#exactly enough#i am and i was and i always will be
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No mention of The Umbrella Academy? Come on
my chemical romance is the funniest and weirdest band ever. They’re all fucking losers who would genuinely rather play dnd than hook up with groupies. The singer used to work at Cartoon Network. The bassist is on the fbi watchlist for crimes against disney. One guitarist is a guitar god but he also used to keep a little action figure of spiderman in his pocket all the time, the other is like a little lap dog of a man, but he’s also on the fbi watchlist for death threats against a us president. They refused to be on the twilight soundtrack, one of the most popular franchises at the time but then they preformed on yo gabba gabba and re-recorded one of their songs in simlish.
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..
#oh i am properly fucked#i got it bad#i genuinely do not recall feeling this warm and actually in love#like since maybe sam?#when i was a TEENAGER#god its been so long i genuinely thought i was aro#maybe demi?romantic#but gods#i have got it bad rn#fuckn blushing and kicking my dang feet bad#how embarrassing#ruining my goddamn reputation haha#im fucked#its been like a decade since i last loved someone (in a not platonic way)#I'd forgotten#like yes its absolutely soul crushing hell#but also how nice it can feel?#its mostly been oof ouch my heart and wtf so far#but im feeling the warm fuzzies rn and oh lordy#oh no#whoops i went and fell in love but i guess it could be worse?#personal#pls ignore this im rambling
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bring back zooterkins, the best 17th-century swear word
I don't normally do Just Characters Swearing, but. ...this kind of wrote itself and then wouldn't leave my head. it comes from both a piece of character-writing advice that has always stuck with me, and also my conviction that Leona is 1000% funnier as a character if his dialogue has to stay G-rated. let Kalim say fuck, but don't let Leona say bastard.
(I'm sorry)
#art#twisted wonderland#(sort of atemporally somewhere between episodes 6 and 7?)#(i - i wanted that lilia joke okay)#long post#tumblr went 'you can post up to 30 images now :)' and i was like well okay then#anyway once again i'm sorry#i'd say i don't know why i did this but actually it is because i wanted kalim to scandalize everyone#i tried to keep it...you know...tasteful. a tasteful amount of fucks.#hey remember how the framing premise for the original birthday interviews was that yuu worked for the school paper#because i have never forgotten. in my head they are still getting up to all kinds of wacky reporting hijinks.
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This is one of Edwin's most iconic lines, actually.
and I feel we need to acknowledge it more. his bitchiness is on point, but like *respectfully* - it's just so quintessentially Edwin.
#also the way george rexstrew delivered that line is permanently echoing around in my brain#and I love charles' little head nod#and niko raising her eyebrows like “oh I'd forgotten he was this bitchy"#edwin payne my beloved#dead boy detectives#dbda#the case of the hungry snake#edwin payne#charles rowland#the principal#niko sasaki#george rexstrew#my post#my gifs
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It's time for spring... ...We'll try again next fall
#the artist the got popular through a different fandom is posting outside of the fandom again! /lh#i made this piece at the start of the year#id completely forgotten about it until i'd had a dream about them last night#fluttershy#discord mlp#mlp discord#fluttercord#my little pony#mlp#mlp fim#ive always been really big on them#and h/destown! which are the lyrics from the wait for me reprise up there#my art#artists on tumblr#hrmtcrft stuff to be posted later this week :)#lyrics aren't meant to mean anything for the piece i just like their hds/prsphn dynamic
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Princess and the Frog Turtle AU 🐢👑
#apparently it's been MORE THAN A YEAR??? since i've posted to tumblr?!?!#what up i guess#i'd forgotten i had a blog tbh#i made this art for the ML Once Upon zine uhhhh last year#also i have no idea what's going on with ml these days#i still need to watch the ENTIRETY of season 5#and i don't even know what's going on with the movie stuff idk im scared man#my life update is that im now 30 flirty and thriving#mlb#mlb fanart#celdraws#celerydays#miraculous ladybug#miraculous fanart#alya cesaire#nino lahiffe
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I'd forgotten I'd lost a page of sad contemplative priests looking for purpose (Oscar Malevolent my beloved)
#malevolent#Oscar#Oscar Malevolent#just a lil doodlepage#I'd forgotten about it but came back and decided I liked them#just working out his face!
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I love it when Viola is transmasc and I love it when Viola is bisexual and I love it when Viola is a butch repressed-sapphic cisgirl and I love it when Viola is a trans woman and I love it when it's not really clear what Viola's gender is and I love it when Twelfth Night is about genderqueerness and I love it I love it I love it when Viola is queer
#twelfth night#shakespeare#viola viola viola cesario cesario cesario#I love it when Viola leans over and licks Orsino's sleeve in the national theatre version#god this play IS gender I'd almost forgotten#shakesqueer
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Found some screenshots of yeehawstarion I'd completely forgotten I'd taken..........
#he looks so pwetty#man I'd forgotten how beautiful this game looks#astarion#bg3#sleep.txt#I'd also forgotten how cowboy I made him look. like. at the time he looked so normal to me#probably bc I always saw him like this in my game#but after a while just looking at fanart/other ppl's screenshots then finding my own screenshots again. it's wild
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241019 Dreamcatcher 'Justice'
#dreamcatcher#hfdcedit#femaleidolsedit#dreamcatcherdaily#jiu#sua#siyeon#handong#yoohyeon#dami#gahyun#ot7#gif*#dc*#era: justice#I'd forgotten how hard these are to make 😀
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I always forget just how good The Truth is until I reread it. Not just the central mystery but the themes of it! The way it marks such a sharp change from the old Ankh-Morpork to the new one we'd see in the later books, far more than any of the Watch books ever do.
And William! A character of all time. This awkward little man who believes passionately in truth because "don't tell lies" was quite literally beaten into him as a child, who then tells a lie to protect the one who did the beating. This man with very few social skills who earns the loyalty of his coworkers with his sheer passion. William who was raised to be a bigot and is fighting those instincts every step of the way.
When the dark light reveals the spectre of his father looming over his shoulder all the time! When his father threatens to kill him and he is relieved! When Otto compares William's internal struggle to overcome the lessons he was taught as a child, the racist, classist, cruel beliefs of his family, with his own struggle to not drink blood.
I adore this man. I adore how electrified he is when he's trying to solve a conspiracy, how brave, how dedicated - and it never shows up again. In all other books, from the perspective of other characters, he's a stuffy straitlaced stick-in-the-mud. Nobody else ever sees what his coworkers see of him, what his father finally sees of him.
William De Worde is important to me because the only other person who ever truly Gets It, the only character in the whole of Discworld canon who seems to understand him, is Otto. Sacharissa does a little but it's Otto who really knows him. Otto fighting not to be a bloodsucking monster, with the help of cocoa and a singsong, and William fighting not to be a metaphorical bloodsucking monster, with the help of his colleagues and their faith in him.
#william de worde#the truth#GNU Terry Pratchett#i haven't reread this in five years or so#i'd forgotten just how much i adore it#discworld
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X-men. Kurt. he fuzzy.
#xmen fanart#nightcrawler fanart#kurt wagner#art by ponderosa121#these sketch requests are less and less like sketches#but also#it's really forcing me to relearn a lot of skills fast#nothing like drawing feverishly every single day#to resurrect a lot of the shit i thought i'd forgotten
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Stranger Things | 4.02 Vecna's Curse
#st edit#stedit#stranger things#strangerthingsedit#dailystrangerthings#strangerthingscentral#tvstrangerthings#stranger things edit#my gifs#mine#g:s4#max mayfield#slowly getting back to making gifs again#and i'd forgotten how tricky this show is to light nicely#but you can call this an attempt
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Tar-like darkness swallowed any sliver of light, except for one. Across the room, lounged and with a dagger that stared back in shades of ruby and scarlet, two gray eyes found their way to any who dared cross their path.
close-up below:
#artemis entreri#dungeons and dragons#legend of drizzt#forgotten realms#dnd#my art#digital art#the sellswords#bro I had 4 different sketches that didn't work out of him in diff scenes in the works#before this THING beamed itself into my brain#unwell i am so deeply unwell about him#my own interpretation is really inspired by all the great art I see of him and of course also how I imagine him in my head...#this is i'd guess either in calimport or at the beginning of promise of the witch-king#pre Idalia's flute#shoutout to my very cool friend ivanna for writing up that caption for me <3
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Find somebody who is as excited about you as Alan Alda is about stingless bees.
#i'm cleaning off my desktop of my screencaps and i'd forgotten about this moment and it made me emotional again#so i didn't want to delete it without putting it on my blog first#for context i was transcribing an oral history of the scientist pictured here and the minute he said he'd been on screen with alan#i had to drop everything and find the exact episode he was on so i could watch alan get excited about stingless bees in panama#it was a very productive day as you might imagine#alan alda#scientific american frontiers#calls of the wild
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