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nessacousland · 2 years

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My DAO Wardens

For the purposes of my fanfic antics I came up with a warden of every origin besides my canon one and I thought I'd make a post to talk about them (under the cut):

Nessa Cousland

Class: Rogue (Archer)

Specializations: Ranger, Bard

Romance: Alistair

Nessa is my canon warden and as such, the only one with a customized first name. Her personality was shaped by my desire to play a rogue with max persuasion, max sarcasm and a highly chaotic streak. She charms and lies whenever she has something to gain by doing so, but if there isn't, she's the infamous Cousland spitfire who doesn't mince words. In her mind, she's always striving to do the 'right' thing, but she's never subscribed to the idea that losing honorably is better than winning through deceit and she's loyal only to those she loves or believes it's her duty to protect. While competent, she tends to overestimate herself, which results in dumbass decisions like waking a sleeping High Dragon on purpose or trying to be an edgy teen towards her 'sinking Orlesian warships at age 15' mother.

The loss of her family messed her up badly, not in the least because deep down she's always considered herself the worst of them due to her caustic personality, but she clings to life out of pure spite. She deeply resents having been conscripted into the Wardens and though she takes her duty to end the Blight seriously, especially after the Deep Roads, she never fully lets go of that resentment. That's what makes it so easy to manipulate the Landsmeet into letting her rule at Alistair's side - they thought the Couslands were gone and forgotten, but they were wrong. Whether that outcome is what's best for both Ferelden and herself is rather questionable, but at least her feelings for the new king are genuine and she's made some true (and powerful) friends in her companions. Anyone who tries to cross the ones she loves again is going to regret it.

(I drew her surrounded by a wreath of laurels, of course, the symbol of the Cousland family. The armor is based on a piece of concept art of Fereldan armor, though I couldn't resist adding the tacky DAO leather collar. Appearance-wise she's supposed to have dark hair similar to Fergus' and light blue eyes like Bryce).

In my modern AU where she doesn’t live through the massacre of her entire family at age 19, Nessa is considerably more mellow, though still sarcastic, chaotic and a little too full of herself. She meets Alistair at a posh party he's been dragged to in order to spend 'quality time' with Maric and Cailan (I don’t imagine the whole 'bastard' thing to be as egregious in modern Thedas, though he might still be treated as an open 'dirty' secret). They're both bored and thus promptly get into trouble. The rest is history, I guess.

Neria Surana

Class: Mage (mostly Primal and Spirit magic)

Specializations: Spirit Healer, Battlemage

Romance: Solona Amell (past), none in DAO

Ironically, Neria is the warden I've written about the most as she features relatively often in my Ariane/Finn fanfics, even though I've never done a full Surana playthrough. She's also the only other potential warden besides my Cousland who's alive in my canon world state.

She grew up as an orphan in Denerim's Alienage and was taken to the Circle at age nine. Wary of any humans coming to take an elf, she struggled against the templars and ended up being beaten and bruised. After she was handed over, an Enchanter healed her immediately and to Neria, it was the first act of kindness she had received in a long time. Overwhelmed by a place that gave her a roof above her head, regular mealtimes and a bed to sleep in, she grew terrified of being thrown back to the gutter. Therefore, she pursued her studies with an almost aggressive vigor to prove herself. Only the strong survived and she wasn’t going to be weak like so many of the other mages around her.

While Neria was a brilliant apprentice, she was also an elf and quickly noticed how the First Enchanter didn't treat her with the same attention as another apprentice of similar talent : Solona Amell. She made it her mission in life to surpass her academic 'nemesis' in every way she could while failing to notice that the rivalry was very one-sided since Amell actually harbored a huge crush on her. Convinced that love was a weakness she couldn't afford, she didn't figure out her own feelings until it was too late: shortly after their Harrowings, Amell was executed for helping her best friend Jowan the blood mage escape the tower. Then the tower was overrun by demons and, bound by blood magic, Neria was helpless to stop any of it. In the aftermath of everything, she fell into a deep depression with only the memory of her 'lost Lenore' to sustain her. It's only when the Mage Rebellion breaks out and Kinloch Hold falls that she finally comes to terms with Amell's death, allowing herself to admit the wrong that was done to mages like them, and starts looking towards the future again.

Since she's never best friends with Jowan in my mind, it's kind of impossible for her to be the Warden herself, but if she was anyway, she'd be the only one of my Wardens to do the Ultimate Sacrifice. Neria has a prickly personality, but she's always on the straight and narrow and would distrust Morrigan's blood magic too much to agree to the Dark Ritual.

(The Ultimate Sacrifice is the reason I chose poppies for her, since those are supposed to represent sacrifice.)

In my modern AU she's allowed to be a lot happier and though the academic rivalry between her and Amell is alive and well (she studies magic theory while Amell does applied magical studies), they're very close to the point where they are basically dating, even if Neria is too stubborn to admit it to herself. Luckily, Amell is very patient. Neria dresses in very dark and spooky clothes to give all the idiots buying into the stereotypical portrayals of mages in the media a reason to be scared, but despite her sharp edges, she's actually the less dangerous one and the one her friends can always rely on.

Solona Amell

Class: Mage (mostly Primal and Entropy magic) Specializations: Blood Mage, Shapeshifter Romance: Neria Surana (past), none in DAO

More than any other of my Wardens, Solona is the 'dead one' in my mind. She's the kind of person who doesn’t do anything in half-measures. She's very curious and helpful to a fault. If there's a problem in her magical research, she won’t rest until she's found a solution. If there is anything she can do to help, she will do it, no matter the cost. That's how she ends up dead in my canon world state, being caught assisting her best friend Jowan escape the Circle. It’s also how she became a blood mage herself - because if there's a tool to grow her powers so she can help others better, how selfish would it be not to use it? (Of course, there's a good measure of less-than-altruistic fascination with the unknown motivating her as well). As such, Solona has her own somewhat unorthodox moral code that has little to do with what the Chantry considers right and proper. Because she's of a very cheerful and sunny disposition, however, few people suspect her insubordination.

(I tried to incorporate some of the Amell heraldry into her frame and chose bloodwort flowers because a) blood association and b) an innocent looking flower hiding a poisonous juice).

In my modern AU she actually gets to live and is rather infamous among the other mage students for her various, dangerous kitchen experiments. Though she's well liked for her friendly nature, people who know them well would much rather deal with all-bark-no-bite-Neria than 'this is going to be totally harmless, I swear' Solona. Outside of Neria's emotional constipation, an underlying reason for their unresolved feelings are their vastly different views on the ethics of blood magic and Solona's tendency to disregard her own well-being vs. Neria's strong self preservation instincts.

Kallian Tabris

Class: Warrior (Two-handed)

Specializations: Champion, Guardian

Romance: none in DAO

The Tabris origin is the only one I've played to completion besides the Cousland one (and I do consider it the best one despite my preference for the latter). Out of all my Wardens, she's fits the image of the classical hero the most. She's brave, determined, outspoken, fiercely loyal, social and outgoing and always tries to do the right thing, even if it's difficult. Keeping her family in her thoughts, she's incredibly resilient in the face of the horrors of the Blight and only ever comes close to breaking when they're suffering.

Kallian cares very much for the elves of the Alienage and their customs; knowing what was expected of her, she wasn't too conflicted about the arranged marriage despite some initial reservations. Her would-be fiance Nelaros trying to save her and dying for it, even though they barely knew each other, moves her deeply and she keeps his ring for the entirety of the game. In the Wardens, especially the Order she builds in Amaranthine, she finds a second family and they reward her goodness and loyalty with their own. Still, she always longs for the family she left behind in Denerim.

(The frame is supposed to be an hommage to the Vhenadahl and I chose gladiolus flowers because they're meant to represent strength of character and moral integrity from what I've seen. She's mixed, based off of Adaia's and Cyrion's appearances in game and a redhead, because that seems to run in Cyrion's family).

In my modern AU she was successful in protecting Shianni before anything could happen to her, but was badly injured for it. She didn't dare go to a hospital for fear the humans would pin the whole thing on her and get her arrested. Unfortunately, since she was never healed properly, she developed debilitating chronic pains. Nelaros, who she'd met only shortly beforehand, wasn't scared off and stood by her the entire time instead, which is how she fell in love with him. Through mutual friends, she eventually made the acquaintance of Neria and Solona, who managed to heal her with magic (with a wee bit of blood magic thrown in there). In this universe, she finally gets to have a happy wedding instead of the nightmare in DAO. She moves with Nelaros to Highever afterwards, where she starts promoting elven interests the way her cousin Shianni does in Denerim and teaches elven kids self-defense.

Theron Mahariel

Class: Warrior (Archer)

Specializations: Champion, Spirit Warrior

Romance: Zevran

Theron is a calm and patient individual, who thinks very carefully before acting or speaking. As such, they may appear to be silent or even stoic, but they feel things deeply and suffer for a long time when they believe they've failed someone else. They're rather spiritual, which is how they become a Spirit Warrior later on, and very secure in their convictions, but they're not quick to pass judgement on others. In fact, they see the tragic tale of their parents, the star-crossed lovers, as proof that one shouldn't blindly parrot and perpetuate the disapproval of others. As such, they're very open-minded and compassionate, as well as comfortable to be a little flexible with their morals if it ultimately leads to what they deem a better outcome.

Tamlen's death hits Theron very hard, as does the revelation that the Sabrae clan left Ferelden while they were still rebuilding the Order in Amaranthine. It does make it easier to decide to leave with Zevran once they've convinced themselves that the Wardens will be alright, however.

(I chose yellow orchids for them because they're meant to represent friendship and new beginnings. Their armor and hair are based on various Dalish concept art I've seen, while the scarf is meant to be reminiscent of Merrill.)

In my modern AU Tamlen died on a hunting accident while out with Theron and the latter blamed themselves to the point of running away from their clan, eventually ending at the university in Denerim. After a year of trying to forget the past, they transfer to Antiva. Meeting Zevran and realizing how the past has shaped the man they love, they eventually decide to stop running away from themselves and reconnect with their clan. As a nice, open-minded person, they have friends in many different Dalish clans.

Faren Brosca

Class: Rogue (Dual wielding) Specializations: Dualist, Legionnaire Scout Romance: Leliana

Mahariel, Brosca and Aeducan have all first been conceived in my mind as characters in my modern AU and it shows, I'm afraid. In canon, I imagine Faren as a shrewd, but loveable rogue who's always done his best to put on a positive and optimistic face for his sister despite the abuse from their mother and their desperate circumstances. Coming to the surface world is overwhelming at first, but also incredibly gratifying and eye-opening. As someone who was born face-down in the dirt, he has a great appreciation for finding beauty wherever he can and soaks up all the knowledge he's never been given before. As such, he's happy to listen to Leliana's songs and stories for hours on end (and feels like a goddamn hero for getting her that nug as thanks for all her pretty words, even if he's still not sure why she'd want it if she's not gonna eat it). Of course, he's been Carta for most his life, so he understands the underlying darkness in their characters that she's still grappling with. That's also why the encounter with Leske on his return to Orzammar saddens and disappoints him, but doesn't make him lose sleep for long.

(I opted for bioluminescent mushrooms for him, because unexpected beauty in the darkest of places? His appearance is based off of his sister Rica.)

In my modern AU Faren has done plenty of jobs for shady organizations in and outside of Orzammar, but decided to clean up his act a few years ago. He runs martial competitions that, while underground, are mostly legal and adhere to proper rules. He's often doing business in Denerim and unhappily in love with Leliana, who works as a bar tender/singer in a bar in town (as a cover) and is still in a toxic on-and off again relationship with Marjolaine. In their off-times, she sometimes seeks him out, only to break his heart again by getting back with Marjolaine soon after. When she reaches her breaking point and leaves to find peace and quiet at a Chantry, he lets her know that he's there if she needs a friend to come to terms with her life of crime, having gone through the cleanup himself before. Some years down the road, things may look up for them.

Durin Aeducan

Class: Warrior (Sword and Shield) Specializations: Berserker, Reaver Romance: Morrigan

Durin is the most 'character I've never played' out of all of them. I imagine him as proud (to the point of arrogance) and conniving, but loyal to his house and his family, which ends up being his Achilles' heel. He's used to only the finest things in life and being catered to: as such the shame of exile is hard to bear and he doesn't learn to tolerate the surface for a very long time. Ruthless and driven, he doesn't waste any time with cries for help from the unwashed masses, doing nothing but whatever gets him closer to his goal of ending the Blight. He sees through Morrigan's flirtations from the very beginning, but is willing to play her game for the thrill of coming out on top (of course, in a way, they both end up losing once actual feelings come into play). He does care about the wellbeing of Orzammar and believes so strongly in the Aeducan line that he favors his backstabbing brother over the lord who helped him - displaying a shocking lack of scruples and morals in the eyes of Harrowmont's supporters, but to his mind, it all makes sense.

(I chose parts of the Aeducan heraldry for his frame and deathcap mushrooms to surround him - I don't think they grow underground, but they're very poisonous mushrooms which I found apt. I tried to make him look similar to his brothers.)

He never appears directly in my modern AU, but he's still a prince of Orzammar who used to be in a relationship with Morrigan. She broke it off when things got too real and moved on to Orlais, unbeknownst to him. He's currently hired Zevran to track her down.

#dragon age #dragon age origins #hero of ferelden #cousland #amell #surana #tabris #mahariel #brosca #aeducan #my art #drawing them all took me so long x.x #and this post is also way too long #but it is what it is

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mourningmoth · 1 year

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thinking for literally my entire shift today about borderlands 3's writing in comparison to borderlands 2's writing, but specifically in how serious, impactful events are handled in juxtaposition with humour, and how it compliments/develops the characters involved

VERY specifically, this directly relates to how well i think each game handles major character death, and the subsequent reactions to that death. theyre old games at this point, so i dont think a spoiler warning is completely needed, but regardless, im saying rn: SPOILERSSS for both borderlands 2 and 3 ahead :)

so borderlands does this thing a lot, where the narrative presents as mostly humorous and lighthearted, with dramatic/serious events sprinkled throughout. something of a "dramedy" situation, which i feel the series usually pulls off well (usually lol). but i feel like bl3's writing dropped the ball on it in a way that seems like it's not self-aware of how/why that worked in borderlands 2 and isnt working the same in borderlands 3 all the time

the specific examples of this ive been thinking about all day are the tannis eulogy from bl3 and the sarcastic violin one-off from borderlands 2. in this essay i will quite literally prove why the one-off violin joke was written better than the entirety of borderlands 3

i find it especially striking how each of these situations compare, because even though none of the same characters involved, each moment highlights a certain quality to borderlands 2 writing that i feel they wanted to replicate in borderlands 3, that, imo, fell flat compared to 2

in bl3, after maya dies, tannis delivers an extremely awkward eulogy. and yeah, tannis is a character with weird traits. she often acts in ways that arent typical of the other characters in a social context. this is usually explained by tannis' autism, which is fine most of the time, but i feel like this particular moment was pretty badly written for tannis. her words about maya feel extremely detached and insincere, and the reactions from the rest of the characters during the "memorial service" (LOL) dont do much to help. the entire scene feels like its barely taking the death of a major important character seriously

and its especially strange when you consider that tannis has reacted to the death of a close friend before, and it didnt feel this bad and meaningless back then. theres an optional mission in bl2 where you can inform various characters of roland's death. when you talk to tannis about it, her response is appropriately socially awkward and stilted, but you can still tell she's genuinely sorrowful. it feels like she's actually upset that roland died. it feels absolutely different when she talks about maya though. tannis' eulogy for maya is written as a lighthearted disarming of the serious situation, but it really doesnt work the same way as the disarming moments in bl2 do.

i don't feel like tannis' eulogy toward maya is as sincere as what she said about roland in the previous game. it never felt equally upsetting to her; in fact theres a LOT i can personally say on the writing surrounding maya's death in bl3 but that would massively derail the point of this post specifically lol. so moving on

i kept comparing the eulogy in bl3 to the story surrounding bloodwing's death in bl2, which actually carries further into talking about the impact of angel's death, which actually brings up a quick point id like to make: im about to talk in-depth about the value of character development derived from a one-off joke, which actually carries further into the narrative of the story by contrasting the same character's behaviour later on. the shitty one-off joke can actually contribute valuable contrast to an impactful event later in the game. tannis' eulogy to maya has no such similar effect, but i hope you'll see what i mean by this once im done explaining it all

anyway. in bl2, you meet the previous 4 playable characters from bl1 as npcs. in the first game, these characters are mostly-silent protagonists. their voice lines only apply to comments made during gameplay; they dont have significant individualized dialogue (this is something borderlands DOES eventually implement in the 4th campaign dlc of bl2, and later fully integrates into bl3)

during the course of the beginning of the game, you meet mordecai, the previously playable sniper (and his hunting companion bloodwing, which is an alien bird). bl2 is the first time in the series mordecai gets to express himself as a real character instead of a player avatar. initially, mordecai comes off as very chill and laid-back. he's extremely self-assured and confident in his skills; you can tell from how he carries himself (in dialogue) that he's not particularly worried about jack, or "losing", or getting hurt.

later, in the wildlife exploitation mission, bloodwing is killed in the final boss battle, which leads into the first time in the series where we get to see mordecai express an extreme emotion. his previous confidence and nonchalant attitude is shattered instantly, and you FEEL it instantly. while the scenario necessitates you leave quickly, so you dont have time to mourn bloodwing properly, the event still has a massive impact overall. it leads into an entire arc for mordecai, which involves him developing alcohol dependence. (i could also make another whole ENTIRE post about this character arc lmao, but i wanna mention its followed up on in numerous dlc which involve mordecai's recovery and later sobriety. its GOOD listen. anyway.)

despite the fact that bloodwing dying is obviously a devastating event for mordecai (AND has continuous consequences later!!), handsome jack IMMEDIATELY clowns on it in the same exact scene, by playing a sarcastic shitty violin solo in "honour of mordecai's stupid bird". but this joke doesnt detract from the impact of bloodwing's death the way i feel tannis' eulogy detracts from the impact of maya's. it doesnt feel disrespectful or minimalizing (i mean jack means it this way to the characters but this is meta u know what i mean)

not only is the violin joke actually funny (despite the anguish one of ur companions is supposed to be feeling now), but it also serves to exemplify traits of jack's character: it's another example of jack's gleefully sarcastic jabs at the protagonists. throughout the entire game, jack is a ~funnyman~ villain to the players; he's constantly on the echo making fun of you and cracking jokes. jack doesn't consider the vault hunters a threat to him, and it's reflected in his attitude toward them for the most of the story. until the "where angels fear to tread" mission, in which angel is revealed as a siren, as well as handsome jack's daughter, and subsequently dies.

immediately following angel's death, jack drops his funnyman persona. he finally starts to consider the vault hunters a threat, and he stops making as many comedic remarks as he used to. he still makes jokes after this point here and there (like the roland milkshakes one), but they are noticeably much more pointedly cruel and morbid than his previous jabs.

his voice is also slightly different after this point. at previous points in the game, jack can sound almost impish while taunting the player, but after angel dies, his tone becomes more serious, and theres a noticeable anger behind some of his remarks. jack becomes much more clearly hostile, which shows a very sudden tonal shift in his character

in this way, the violin joke doesnt feel like it disrespects the impact of bloodwing's death, because the entire scenario works together to highlight the individual characters' traits and how they interact with eachother. mordecai lost something close to him, and jack happily rubbed salt in the wound because that's the kind of asshole he is. but when jack loses someone close to him, suddenly its not funny anymore. in this, the violin joke also serves as a contrast to jack's character, by spotlighting the difference in his reaction when causing pain versus experiencing it

clowning on a serious moment immediately after it happens works in borderlands 2 because the way the narrative is written compliments the individual characters and how theyre written. the jokes amidst the drama serves to emphasize the characters present, and even further serves to contrast their behaviour later, after a they experience some major development. i dont feel it works as well in bl3 tho, because the characters' reactions always feel more shallow and less like the impact of them is far-reaching or has many consequences for the character's development, in comparison to bl2's character development

i dont have much more of a point to end on tho other than thank u for coming 2 my tedtalk✌️

#i hope i make sense ive been tryin to type this shit for a few hours lol #borderlands #borderlands 2 #borderlands 3 #borderlands spoilers #the dreamer is awake

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kitsumidori · 2 years

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FIRST FANFICTION!!!!! But seriously I've been wanting to write fic's for a while and I'm still debating if I want to get an ao3 account, but for now I'll post it here.

This is based on my recent post with Angel and Claptrap, and this show how the two became more closer.

And like I said, this is my first fanfic, so please go easy on me, I'm already nervous about posting this.

(also I may have accidentally written Angel as autistic, mainly with mentions of routine's and sensory overload)

Slight trigger warning for past trauma and past abuse

The sound of an alarm clock went off, a hand reached out to turn it off, and a small figure rose out of bed.

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beep beep beep

"New day, same routine" the girl said to herself.

Jack is gone, Dad's gone, and she wants it to stay that way.

After the siege in the control core, Angel thought it's all over. The pumps are destroyed, the vault hunters take the key, Jack loses his catalyst, and she's free from her imprisonment….or so she thought…

It wasn't until she woke up that she found herself in an infirmary, siren tattoos still intact, fearing that it's Hyperion's and that Jack succeeded, until she was greeted by Dr Zed, with Lilith Brick and Mordecai accompanied by…. but no Roland.

Roland was killed, Jack shot him in the back like the coward that he is. Jack then kidnapped Lilith and used her powers to charge the vault key and awaken the Warrior. But luckily Maya and her team were able to kill the Warrior, save Lilith, and stop Jack once and for all by a buzz ax to the head.

When Lilith used her Phasewalk on the vault hunters, a comatose Angel was transported to Sanctuary as well and was rushed to Zed's where she's currently residing. After Jack's downfall, the people of Sanctuary started to recover from Hyperion's influence, with Angel being affected by him the worst due to Jack treating her as a battery as well as almost killing her.

During her time spent in Sanctuary, the cybernetics have since been removed, even the failed echo eye that Jack implanted and never fixed, started to gain a more healthy weight, and is starting to use her legs again.

Right now she's starting her routine, one of them is to practice walking again before heading for breakfast. Most mornings, one of the raiders would come in and help keep her balanced, most of the time it's usually Lilith or Gaige, other time's if there too busy, one of the other vault hunters would come in instead, and today it's-

"GOOD MORNING ANGEL!"

A loud voice echoed the room, and Angel winced due to her sensitive hearing. She looked over and saw Claptrap, wearing a paper nurse hat.

Angel sat on her bed, confused because she wasn't expecting Claptrap of all people to assist her. "Uhhh, good morning to you too Claptrap" Angel said, still confused.

Angel then asked "Umm, I don't mean to be rude, but I was expecting Lilith to come by."

Claptrap then answered

"Oh, well Lilith and the gang got caught up on some Hyperion soldier's attacking, and everyone else is busy, so Lilith reluctantly put me in charge of your routine" Claptrap said a bit to proudly.

"Oh…ok" said Angel most of the time, change is something that would upset her, but it's a small change so she can handle it.

Angel then hopped out of bed, grabbing the cane that was sat beside. The cane also has a cute little bear charm that Gaige gave to her on the handle.

And with that, Angel got on her feet, Claptrap stood beside her, making sure she doesn't fall, Angel did her best to lean on Claptrap given that he's shorter than her. Slowly she starts walking laps in her room with Claptrap follow beside her.

Angel can't help but feel bad for the funny little robot. Not only he's the last of his kind, thanks to Jack discontinue the product line, but almost everyone treats him pretty badly, from insulting him, to threatening him with violence if he doesn't shut up. Considering this is the same Claptrap that helped Jack with the Helio's problem and help Jack with retrieving the H-Sorce, which almost led to his death, she can't help but feel guilty with what her dad did, especially with the advice she gave him when he was installing the VaultHunter.EXE program.

After silently walking around for a few minutes, Angel decided to break it and asked Claptrap "Claptrap, you uh….do you still remember when you helped Jack with the Helio's situation?"

It took Claptrap a breff second to answered "Kinda…. honestly, most of that memory was kind of fuzzy after retrieving the H-Sorce for Jack. I mean, I still remember Athena, that ice lady, that one guy that looks like Jack, having a stair climbing wheel, having to kill Felicity, Jack killing those sciencetist because he thinks there a mole" Claptrap's voice starts to trail off, sounding like he's about to cry.

Angel took notice, understanding the self guilt that she's been struggling with. "You know, before Jack imprisoned me, my life was pretty normal. Until my powers started to develop, and I accidentally turn on one of the turents and….and…."

Angel was on a verge of tears, trying to explain that traumatic memory of her mother's death.

She then continued "After that, Jack hooked me up saying that it's to restrain my powers. I was scared and I asked him where mom was, all he said was that she's not coming back. From that point I was no longer his daughter, instead I was his prisoner"

At that point, Angel broke down, even though he's dead, the physical and emotional scars would last a lifetime.

Claptrap stood by, trying his best to comfort the poor girl. "Well, you're still alive, and that's what matters…I guess?" Claptrap say's, trying to reassure her. He then continued "And do you want to know the best part? That loser of a father is dead, believing that he lost everything that's important to him"

Angel looked up at him, seeing that there's more to him than just some funny little robot. She then smiled and Claptrap said "So, do you want to continue with your routine?"

Angel noded, and the two continued.

#borderlands #borderlands 2 #angel the siren #claptrap borderlands #claptrap the fragtrap #fanfiction #my art #tw abuse #tw truama

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winns-stuff · 2 years

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LO RANT:

I’m sorry tomorrow I’ll do the appreciations but I need to get this off of my chest because it’s been irking me badly. About the whole assault plot story does anyone else feel like the other side of the fandom cares more about Hades’ trauma than Persephone’s? Let me explain.

Basically I saw this post on reddit talking about Persephone and Hades still not having sex after 10 years. Luckily there were decent people in the comments saying that it takes time to get over something as traumatic as what Persephone went through but there was of course one person stating that it was taking too long and that they should’ve did it already. That’s one of my biggest gripes with that side of the fandom, not saying it’s all of them of course, they seem to minimize and degrade Persephone’s trauma in order to see NSFW which is incredibly disturbing and uncomfortable for me to read. I hate how seeing them fuck is more important than Persephone actually healing and that’s why I mentioned in another rant that those people aren’t actually there for the right reason, it’s not registering to them that Persephone went through something that traumatized her and instead of wanting to see the journey they’d rather forfeit it for half assed sex panels that webtoon barely allows.

It’s just so disgusting to me how this fandom (those people that I’m talking about) has evolved into just adults and young people wanting to see sex without any plot or substance. If you want smut that bad go on wattpad or something it’s incredibly tiring seeing sexual comments being made about how Persephone and Hades will do it and it’s even more frustrating watching people completely forget about what happened or even try to say things like “it’s not that big of a deal” or “it’s been 10 years” or stuff such as that. Invalidating a victims experience because you want to see them rush to get intimate is disgusting no matter how you say it and it needs to be called out because there’s been way too many people expressing such piss poor views about the whole situation.

Now when I say the fandom cares more about Hades’ trauma and carry more validation when it comes to his I say this because it’s been numerous amounts of times where the stans (not all but the ones I’m describing) have considered Hades’ trauma and defended him while taking it into consideration. There’s never been a time where the stans went that hard for Persephone and never have they ever considered her trauma when talking about LO, it’s really frustrating how people are understanding about Hades but draw the line at understanding Persephone’s assault. Every single thing he does the stans understand it because of his trauma, they’re patient with him, they’re considerate, they’re willing to wait until Hades is healed and he’s had centuries worth of time to and access to therapists. Persephone barely got one therapist visit before being banished in the mortal realm, she doesn’t get any time to process, she doesn’t get the patience, she doesn’t get the understanding from fans all she gets is sexualization and complete insensitivity of her situation.

I can’t blame this all on the fans of course because the comic is the main reason why so many fans don’t take this shit seriously. The way Persephone’s trauma is written lacks actual importance and there’s barely anything in her trauma scenes that show seriousness. I’m so sick of her trauma being used as jokes or people drawing faces to make the scene more funny when they’re talking about serious things, you can’t expect your fans to take it seriously when nothing you provide them with is serious in the slightest. It’s fucking annoying and angering how the comic dedicates so many chapters for us to explore Hades’ brain and pick apart his trauma, see how much it affects him, see how damaged he is by it, and understand how the relationships he wishes to gain crumble because of it. What do we get with Persephone? Nothing. Her trauma is cutesy and light, nothing about it invokes real emotion and causes you to really understand just how detrimental it is to her mental health. You only see glimpses of it from time to time but it’s more like a reminder and less like actual trauma, it feels like the team forgets about her trauma and sprinkles any bit of it in without showing us the same quality as they do with Hades.

Knowing this information, it actually makes sense that people think this way about her assault. As infuriating as it is to see such dismissal happening on Persephone’s part I can see why people are more hyped for Persephone’s intercourse with Hades and not her actual journey. It’s because her journey is being sped through like a damn speed run challenge, she barely gets any real time to actually process what happened to her and she barely got time to notice how much she’s changed. There’s barely any changes from Persephone before the assault and Persephone after, which is stupid as hell because we get comparisons and physical differences between Hades before and after his trauma happened. We’re more informed about Hades’ trauma then we are to Persephone’s so it probably does feel like nothing ever happened to her. After a few days of it Eros tells her what happened to her, then I believe we get to see more of how distressed she is about the situation (because of Apollo showing up) which afterwards barely even resurfaced after it was done, then we get some dialogue about Persephone not feeling comfortable in her bed which is understandable but it was only used as a ploy to get Hades to sleep with her which is just fucking stupid because she’s still in the same.. nevermind man, then like during the second week she runs away and we can see her first reaction to the whole situation before she’s saved by Hades and never talks about it again, and then we see her getting like one therapist visit after calming Hades down and trying to comfort him after telling him about what happened.

Do y’all see the pattern? The comic barely gives Persephone any stage to voice what she feels or speak about what happened to her. Unlike Hades we don’t get the privilege of having whole chapters dedicated to her and her healing process, it’s all rushed and sped through because now after 10 years mourning and stressing about her land and her sentence she’s now just absolutely dick obsessed and wants to have sex immediately. I understand that Rachel was trying to show some of the affects of the assault but at the same time being hyper sexual isn’t a good thing, it’s literally a form of self harm because you don’t feel good afterwards so for the comic to put being hyper sexual in a good light for a few fucking laughs is absolutely fucked up. There’s a difference between making a serious scene light hearted and completely making a joke out of it and there’s no way Lore Olympus actually respects the serious topics that they put into the story.

#lo critical #anti lore olympus #anti lo

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blueflyingturtleontheway · 2 years

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Previously on Blue's Bafflegabs:

BUT as some of you may have already guessed, the Fates had a different plan for me.

Yes, I did watch the entirety of Hercules (1997) in Polish and in English, two times, scene after scene and analyzed every line, and I am going to expose you all to the consequences

But first some general info, shall we? First of all I'd like to vocalize the utter ADMIRATION I feel towards Ms Elżbieta Łopatniukowa, the Polish translator, the woman, the myth, the legend, she did absolute God's (or shall I say gods'?) work on this movie. But it probably wouldn't be what it is if not for the amazing director, Ms Joanna Wizmur, the woman who would later go on to direct Shrek, which is said to have revolutionized Polish dubbing industry, so you know we're talking about A Level™ here. They along with Mr Filip Łobodziński were truly the perfect team to create this mastery of dubbing.

I have to say that this movie was more of a problem for me than Encanto, and than I honestly expected, because, I'll admit, I didn't understand many parts of the original dialogues (thank you beautiful person who added good English subtitles, I am eternally indebted to you.) But the problem wasn't just the accents or old audio, you know? No, the reason is actually an interesting artistic technique used when writing the movie- there is a ton of slang put in the dialogue and frankly? It's genius. Usually, I'm against putting lots of slang and references in movies because it ages badly, sounds unnatural and doesn't fit into most settings (I am looking at you Raya), but here it was handled so well, it not only didn't bother me it even added to the story.

I don't know enough about American slang to say for sure but I have a few theories as to why it worked out where so many have failed before and after it. First, Hercules is first and foremost, a comedy. Yes, it's also a family movie which is why they changed the whole myth in the first place, but the narrative is comedic for like 90% of the story - this movie doesn't treat itself too seriously, therefore slang and colloquialisms are perfectly welcome. Another reason, equally if not more important, is the consistency, because the worst a story can do is throw in a slang term out of the blue. The tone and language used throughout the movie is announced in the first minute, when the muses interrupt the first narrator and from then on, almost every character uses the same level of formality in their speech, the gods, the Greeks, the Fates, everyone - so it's not jarring, this is the status quo where actually formal talk would be considered a deviation. And my third theory, the least probable and backed up by the least amount of knowledge, since I have no idea how outdated this slang was back when the movie was written, but the fact that it's not used anymore works in its favour. Just think about it, a movie set in Ancient Greece and the characters use... "ancient" slang from the 90s or earlier. It's a sort of a meta joke I'd say.

And I explained all that to note, that the Polish translator handled it perfectly... If not better than the original. Because you see, not only do the dialogues consist in a big percent of outdated Polish slang and are unique for the important characters (okay mainly Phil), but they also include a lot of more or less noticable references to the classical culture, so it combines the Ancient and the "ancient" aspect of the movie even better.

So if that's all said and you know what to look out for, let's dive right into the movie! (I suppose the most comfortable way of reading this would be if you had the movie in the background or remember it really way because I have once again, not specified a lot)

+ “No to lu, panienki” fantastic line, I love it. It’s basically what he says in English ("You go, girl") but the vibe✨

= They didn’t translate the innuendo and instead Thalia (yes, I did look up the muses’ names specifically for this post) says just “Would any of us resist him?” but I’ll let you decide if it’s for better or worse

* Just like with Encanto each song will get its own post

+ Hera says just “let’s lay down now” instead of “behave yourself” which makes her sound even more like a good mother, which I guess she is supposed to be in this movie

- Hermes calls himself “king” when he tells other gods to let him through, which is clearly only a metaphor for how cool he is but meh I don’t really like it

* I literally do not understand what he meant when he told Hera about those flowers so let’s ignore that

+ Hermes says that the party is “godly” which really is the word we use in the same way like “fabulous” but here it also acts as a pun 😁

^ Imma use this symbol for talking about non translation related stuff, because I just have to note that whatever the accent Hera has is called, it made me confused for a good while what the heck is “dee-ya” that she says, before I turned on the subtitles

^ It was "dear". I'm not even going to think about English pronunciation anymore.

+ “Herkulesik” 🥺 Using a diminutive here just makes it even better

+ And now HERE things start to get interesting, because in the og dub Hades says that he hasn’t been so choked up since he got a hunk of moussaka stuck in his throat. Moussaka is of course a traditional Greek dish, so this is a cool cultural reference. BUT. In Polish he instead talks about a tuber of asphodel and you may be asking, but what is an asphodel? Why, asphodel is a kind of flower that not only was believed to be the food of the dead, by the Ancient Greeks, but also was said to grow on the Asphodel Meadows near the Styx in the Underworld. That’s how good the references are in this dubbing.

- The pun of “a sucker for the little sucker” couldn’t been conveyed :(

^ Again I am thankful for the subtitles because I swear I’d understand “you ought to slow down” as “yo, slow down”

+ And here’s an interesting thing! As I watched the English version I was wondering how’d they translate Panic’s name, because the word “panic” is in Polish feminine “panika” and turns out they just made it a male name kinda by force, cutting off the “a” and making him just Panik (I’d also say it sounds quite cute in Polish :3)

^ I swear where do they get the words like uncouth and lugubrious from

^ I mean objectively I love it when children/not very serious media uses smart/scientific words but do you realize the amount of googling I had to do for this movie

^ I just have to say that the fact that the anglophones pronounce Zeus as Zoos, or as we’d write it, Zus, is just quite funny for Poles XD

+ “Zeus, ruler of the universe and its surroundings”

- No alliteration :(

+ I’m sorry but the line “Ja wiem, kapuję, ja to wręcz przyswajam” is just so iconic, and it uses such perfectly colloquial language I don’t think I can translate it back into English

* “Taking control of the business” I’d say it’s better, but then again once I googled what a bid is, the og is also pretty funny

^ Oh did I mention how much nostalgia will cloud my judgment

^ Because it absolutely will

* I have to say how much I love the fact they use the form “Tytany” instead of “Tytanów” because it’s the archaic form and it’s nice :>

+ Hades paraphrases Polish idiom of “question for 10 points” by saying “question for 10 obols” :D

= I don’t know, google says that “Grecian formula” might be a reference to a hair product and if it is, it’s funnier than in Polish, where Herc just gets called a firefly (which I’d say is still funny)

+ Szhchc instead of “potion” in Polish Pain says “flacha” which means specifically a bottle of alcohol :’D

+ In Polish they call him specifically “Sunday coachman” instead of just “driver”

^ Btw I had no idea this idiom is also used in this meaning in English that’s cool

- I kinda wish they conveyed the “Pop” somehow, but I suppose we really don’t have that many synonyms for “dad” in Polish

+ Demetrius says “oh gods” instead of “oh my goodness” :D

+ Wait they give him name only in the Polish dub huh

* And with Phidias that makes it two famous sculptors’ names :D

^ Hsbhbhhibda NOT only does the guy say five is an even number, he also puts out only four fingers :’D

* OKAY AND I LOVE THIS ONE

* BECAUSE

+ Instead of “maybe we should call him Jerkules” they make a direct callback to the famous translation of “Non Hercules contra plures” as “I Herkules dupa kiedy wrogów kupa” (something like “Even Hercules is an ass when going against a mass” (mass as in many people)) except since this is a kids movie they can’t say “ass” so the kids say “zupa” (soup) which is exactly how kids censor their swear words, so not only is this a fantastic reference to the Latin quote, but also it genuinely sounds like something a kid would say

+ Again the merchant exclaims “oh gods!” I feel like they generally use this more in Polish

+ Amphitryon uses the diminutive of “son”, “synek” :3

^ Jesteś bogiem, wyobraź to sobie sobie – Zeus, totalnie

- Aw I suppose it was about the length, but I wished they used the actual phrase “wstrzymaj konie” instead of the one they did, it would be a literal translation of “hold your horses” too

+ Philoctetes uses many russianisms (which is fascinating and works fantastically character wise, but there'd be much more cultural, social and linguistic knowledge required and we don't have time for that anyway, so just trust me when I say it's genius) and talks exactly like an old creepy uncle would 12/10 amazing job

+ Herc inflects Phil’s name into vocativus and I have to say it just sounds so endearing

- We don’t have “go the distance” being used and referenced so consistently through the movie :<

+ Abhcbzhscbjh “filuj Filu” :’D See, it’s a pun because “filuj” means something like “watch” but it does sound like his name too (Phil in Polish is written Fil)

+ There's this subtle difference in acting but I love how in English Phil just asks "Zeus?" whereas in Polish it's really "Zeus?!" it's about the emotions y'kno

^ AHAHCBJHB I love watching this movie after I’ve read some Greek tragedies, because Thebes

+ “Wonderboy” got translated literally but you know what, I think it’s kinda charming

+ Awww Herc diminutes Phil’s name to “Filcio/u”

* Ayyy another russianism from Phil, he calls Herc a “gieroj”, I’ve already noted it as a plus, but I have to appreciate how consistent they are with this

+ AND Phil also uses an archaic form of “żeś zobaczył” instead of “że zobaczyłeś”

- Megara’s iconic line of “(…) at least they would if I had any friends” got translated as well as it could’ve but it still doesn’t sound as good :(

+ Hhzbchz Meg says “it’s been godly” instead of “it’s been a real slice” (dw it sounds more natural in Polish) and y’know, unconscious foreshadowing

+ Btw Hercules uses the formal you for Megara for this whole interaction!

+ Instead of just theme park, Meg says straight up Disneyland XD

+ So was “I’m a bunny – and I’m his gopher” a reference to something? Because if not then Polish reference to Winnie the Pooh with “and I’m his relative and friend” (based on the Polish translation of Rabbit’s “friends-and-relations”) wins

- Asolkscoao to keep the pun with Meg’s name – the original nut-Meg – Meg gets called Meg-alomania :’D

+ “You were supposed to get the river guardian on my – and by the way the only right – side” >>>> “I thought you were going to persuade the guardian into joining my side for the uprising”

* Okay so I have to ask just because it keeps racking in my brain – is the “Peloponnesian minute” a reference to something? Is it true you guys say stuff like “New York minute” to just mean quickly???

* Bhbshbjh it’s not exactly better but “Herkulesów jak mrówków” just cracks me up

= Instead of “Britanny” the popular girls name is said to be “Izaura” as a reference to the TV show and I don’t know, I suppose they both work but in a different way, Izaura fits cause it’s a Latin name so it sounds natural in this setting, but I suppose it was part of the joke in the og dub to contrast Jason and Britanny (although with how popular modern name Jason is, at least for me, it completely doesn’t sound ancient)

This was already almost three pages of my doc so I'll divide this analysis into two parts and then, like before, make a separate post for each song.

Hope you enjoyed this one and see you soon!

Edit: second part is up!

#my post #hercules #hercules 1997 #disney hercules #movies #disney #dubbing #polish dubbing #languages #blue's bafflegabs

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poolboyservice · 9 months

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since it's nearing the end of the year, I'm gonna be rating the "social media" websites I've been/I am on, in the form of 0-5 Twilight Films (0, absolute dogshit, 5, best thing ever)

Wattpad: 5/5, awesome experience, people are nice. Despite the bad rep given in the 2010s, a good chunk of the users has since matured and become amazing writers. even if some stories are badly written, they are a fun read regardless. everyone is really nice to each other and overall it's a nice place imo

Spacehey: 4/5 good experience, point knocked off for having an issue with nazis, ableist people, and discourse, but overall a great experience! just friend the right people and you will have a good time.

Quotev: 1/5 horrible experience, the community has made me consider and actually attempt suicide numerous times because it's so awful. I could go for hours and hours on how awful and immature the community in Quotev is. so much LGBTQ discourse, so much hatred, and too many people dehumanizing one another, it is awful. I only leave a 1 out of 5 instead of 0 because the admins actually take reports seriously, and the website itself and its functions are actually really nice.

Tumblr: 4/5 good experience, idk what to put here cuz like idk.. I'M POSTING THIS ON TUMBLR??? but people are overall nice, community is great, and if you get some mutuals and friends you'll have a nice time. point knocked off because the admins(?? owners???? staff???) aren't good and actively ignore porn bots while deleting accounts of trans people

Discord: 3/5 ehhh, it's a texting app. the app/website itself is okay, but Discord has gotten really annoying with wanting people to buy nitro. point docked off because WOW some of the people on there should frankly be on a list, though I am partly biased due to personal reasons I don't feel comfortable talking about. another point docked off because Discord won't fucking get rid of MEE6.

Tik Tok: 0/5 I have an account but I never used it, though I've seen enough to know how bad Tik Tok is.

And yeah, that's pretty much it. idk what else to say uhhh, ask me anything ig

#franky posts

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digital-dhampirs · 3 years

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vnc 55.5: some scattered thoughts

Heya fellow vnc simps, long time no see! I apologize for now empty this blog’s been in the past two months, but can’t… exactly… say it won’t continue in the future, as it probably will. however I do have tHoughts and eMOTIONS on vnc 55.5, so here’s some scattered thoughts on the incredibly beautiful im in agony oh god mochijun why chapter 55.5

as always, massive spoilers for VnC 55.5 ahead!

new year new vanitas

VnC 55.5 feels like the midpoint of VnC as a series. It might not actually be the middle, but it feels like a huge turning point for both Vanitas and Noé’s relationship and the narrative as a whole. VnC 55.5 neatly answers two of the biggest questions the story’s been following from the very start— 1) why does Noé kill Vanitas, and 2) why did Vanitas kill Luna. The two driving mysteries behind the Exposition Universalle arc and the story as a whole are given… if not exactly complete answers, definite outlines of answers.

It almost feels too abrupt.

I think a lot of this abruptness comes from Vanitas’s sudden change in attitude and demeanor. He’s taken a complete 180 from how he was acting just a few hours ago. Why did Vanitas change his outlook on sharing the secrets of what happened “that night” so quickly? Why didn’t Vanitas just tell all this to Mikhail and Noé last night? Did he think Mikhail wouldn’t have accepted that answer, or would’ve told Noé to invade Vanitas’s memories to check? Why was Vani so insistent on hiding this perfectly reasonable explanation for killing Luna in the first place?

Let’s try and think about some possible reasons for this sudden change in behavior.

Firstly, it seems like Vanitas has finally given up the security he got from insisting that his ‘revenge on Luna’ was born out of a hatred for them. He still calls his mission revenge upon the vampire of the blue moon, but it seems like it’s closer to revenge for Luna than revenge upon them. Vani seems to be slowly accepting the fact that he didn’t truly hate Luna, and is doing what he’s doing at least partially because he saw them as the mother he never had.

Secondly… something definitely changed in the VaniVerse after that conflict with Comte. I still can’t get that expression Vanitas had right before Comte left out of my mind. I’m pretty sure he realized something, or remembered something, or came to some sort of conclusion. I’ve no idea what that realization was but I feel like that little moment was important.

And thirdly, most crucially, Vanitas has given up on making Noé kill him.

The most devastating part of this chapter for me was the realization that Vanitas didn’t keep Noé around to protect himself from others. Vanitas kept Noé around to protect others from himself. After their initial fight, Vanitas determined that Noé would likely be strong and sturdy and morally good enough to kill him if necessary. So he recruited him. Ostensibly as a shield, but in truth as a failsafe.

Despite being incredibly strong, Vanitas never goes on missions involving cursebearers alone. The only time we see him intentionally go off by himself is when he’s facing the human Chasseurs. Even during the first chapter, Vanitas has Dante by his side. He seems largely disinterested the whole time and provides no considerable help to Vani during the fight. But Dante is there, watching, the whole time. And Dante has a gun.

With this we can read Vanitas’s behavior throughout the past 55.5 chapters of VnC in a whole new light. His constant cheerful responses to Noé’s animosity back during the Parisian Excursion arc were goofy funtimes back when I first read ‘em, but now I just see Vanitas pulling what we see him later do with Jeanne— acting like a complete asshole in order to push people away from him. Remember that bonus comic from a while back, where Vanitas asks Noé if he’s really that interested in kisses after their first encounter with Jeanne and Luca? I thought that was just more cute adorable funtimes with some extra fanservice on the side. But now… holy shit, Vanitas was actually flirting with Noé in an active attempt to make Noé dislike him.

Vanitas’s cheerful responses to Noé’s animosity aren’t him being goofy or arrogant, it’s him purposefully acting like the type of person he likes the least. He wants Noé to keep disliking him. Because Noé can’t get too close, or Noé might hesitate when the decisive moment inevitably arrives.

But Noé doesn’t do what Vanitas wants. He just pushes and pushes and gets closer and closer. And every time Noé starts to get too close, we see Vanitas shove him away. But Vanitas can’t keep this up forever, and when his latest and most violent attempt to make Noé despise him fails, Vanitas truly gives up on making Noé do what he wants. He gives up on making Noé kill him. And because of that, he’s now able to tell Noé the truth about the past and his intentions behind their partnership.

I’m absolutely intrigued by how Vanitas is gonna behave around Noé from now on. Because this feels like… this feels like the huge turning point their relationship has been building towards from the very start. This feels like the culmination of everything they’ve been through and everything they’ve been building towards. They are finally at least somewhat able to admit they love each other [platonically or romantically] without veiling it behind walls of dislike and animosity. And I seriously can’t wait to see how they adapt to this change in the status quo in whatever challenge they’ll be facing next.

oh noé

The tragedy of all this is, of course… even though Vanitas has given up on making Noé kill him, we as the readers know how the story’s going to end. Noé is going to fulfill Vanitas’s wish. He’s going to kill him. It isn’t a matter of if, just when and how.

The moment Vanitas started talking about his wish I knew it was coming. I knew he was gonna say it. I knew he was gonna have that same wish Louis had, the wish that’s haunted Noé since the day Louis died.

I knew it was coming and it still feckin hurt me.

Interestingly, Noé doesn’t react the way he did with Louis. He doesn’t immediately refuse. He just quietly starts to cry.

Noé’s definitely upset here, but I can’t help but feel like he’s also just a little bit relieved. He couldn’t save Louis, because by the time he reached that crucial moment when Louis could have told him anything it was already too late. But now Vanitas has told him, and now he knows, and now he can do something about it. He can sit next to Vanitas, lean on him so he can’t just run away, and talk to him properly.

And then, of all things, Vanitas apologizes to Noé, and tells him that even though this is what he wants Noé to do, he’s accepted that he can’t make it happen. They can talk to each other properly, and maybe Noé can reach out and save Vanitas.

Except he can’t.

Instead, he’s going to kill him.

mochijun why do you do this to us

mikhail

One of my main questions going into 55.5 was whether the Exposition Universalle arc was over or just getting started. This chapter really makes me lean towards the former. Mikhail gets what feels like a temporary farewell in this chapter, and it seems like we probably won’t see him again for a solid amount of time. If I had to make a guess, I think Comte and Mikhail’s story is gonna get set on the back burner a bit in favor of a few other arcs in the meantime (@/ gano and the vampire eradication faction, @/ the senate and its hunt for chloé and JJ, @/ the dhams, @/ loki, @/spi—-).

So Mikhail was all over the place this chapter, as he always is. I feel like the kids psyche is just so completely broken that at this point even he has a hard time determining when he’s actually displaying genuine emotion and when he’s acting in a certain way to get what he wants. At his core Mikhail has an incredibly simple motivation and value system (hates pain, likes kind people, wants to be happy with Luna and Vanitas forever), but his morality was completely twisted by his upbringing before he even hit the human experimentation lab, and then the complexities of the situation he’s ended up in with Luna and Vanitas have just made things even worse. (side note, I still don’t understand why Vanitas didn’t just tell Mikhail what happened to Luna on that night, and it makes me think he’s still hiding a considerable portion of the truth of what happened to Luna from the fam, if not outright lying.)

Mikhail seems genuinely horrified by the idea that Luna’s death might be his fault, and he seems genuinely upset when Vanitas tells him he’d prefer it if Noé were the one to kill him. But I also think Mikhail knows when to play up his childish emotional response and when to turn it off when Vanitas isn’t responding to it. And it just. Mikhail… just… holds head in hands… he’s so broken. I wish Misha could just feckin cry without wondering if someone will respond to his crying. Express his emotions and his childishness without also using them as an attempt to manipulate someone into doing what he wants them to do. But that’s what the world around him has shaped him into.

While we’re on the subject of Mikhail… Noé’s guilt over Misha’s injuries is palpable and I love to see it.

other neato stuff this chapter

In no particular order,

we get solid confirmation that Luna made Mikhail their kin before turning Vanitas. Strangely, Vanitas seems much more competent with his Book than Mikhail is— were they turned at around the same time? Or did Luna refuse to teach Mikhail to use the book after turning him for fear that he might be rewritten?

Mlle. Amelia actin kinda sus this chapter ngl

I love how Dante has now been threatened by both Dominique and Jeanne

speaking of Domi and Jeanne I’m delighted to hear that they’re talking and desperately hope to see their conversation in the next chapter

Noé’s face goes really weirdly blank when Vanitas mentions Comte; gotta wonder why

love how the smoke effect throughout the chapter looks similar to Luna’s hair

the end (for now)

As always, all the theories/ interpretations here are based on my current understanding of the manga and I am likely dead wrong about a lot of this. So! Please take everything here with a grain of salt. Thanks for reading these scattered thoughts on vnc 55.5! I can’t wait to see what mochijun has in store for us in vnc 56…

fun fact

same energy also what whuh why is noé using his left hand what does this mean is this a clue what

#vanitas no carte #vnc #the case study of vanitas #meta-ish #vnc spoilers #vnc manga #sorry again for how empty this blog has been #i… seriously considered not posting this because i feel it’s badly written #hope the gist comes through but for some reason i really haven’t had the mental energy to focus or write lately #may come back to edit hard at some point in the future #love this chapter tho #feels very significant #that or it’s just a comte induced hallucination ahaahahahahAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

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icaruskeyartist · 2 years

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lly

@transmascrage

Yeah so I can’t reblog this post and OP has me blocked lmao. But I’ll always take the chance to shit on Whipping Girl.

I don’t know/remember the particular paragraph in question -- I’m actually only halfway through the book. But I can tell you first and foremost what OP has written here is a bullshit maneuver to make everything about trans women. Let’s break it down.

‘Transmasc erasure’ is a tool to continue othering trans women and prevent the normalizations of transness in general.

Transmasc erasure in quotes could either be “scare quotes” meaning a way to exaggerate the importance of a thing, an attempt to mock the idea of something existing, or an attempt to quote the verbage used by other people. With such a short post I’m uncertain which, though I lean towards the mocking/scaremongering version.

Transmasc erasure is used to other trans women. Once again, this post is shorter than the average tweet so it’s hard to get a lot of nuance here. On the one hand, a good faith interpretation would run along the lines of “this problem that one particular subset of trans folks face actually also hurts others as well” buuuut it’s hard to read this in such good faith, you know? Bringing in the context of the rest of the post, it feels like it should be read more like “lol you think transmasc erasure hurts you so badly well what about”isms.

Transmasc erasure prevents the normalization of transness in general. The only actual good take in this shitpost. Sadly it’s burdened down by all the bullshit.

All right, but I was tagged because Whipping Girl got brought up. So what have I learned thus far in the painful journey of reading and dissecting Serano’s work?

First, Serano is fucking transandrophobic.

She speaks at length about how trans men have an easier time transitioning because the medical gatekeeping tends to be kinder on men than women. She explicitly states in chapter seven (emphasis mine):

In 1969, Money (and coauthors) discussed the results of tests they had administered to transsexuals to measure their feminine and masculine tendencies. The authors praised trans men for giving answers that were “masculine,” but not any more “masculine” than those of the average cissexual man. At no time did the authors consider the possibility that the trans men’s unexaggerated masculine responses were made possible by the fact that most gatekeepers, being male themselves, understood that there was more than one way to be a man. In contrast, trans women were derided for having scores that were higher on the feminine range than that of the average woman.

This segment is taken from part of the book where she talks about how trans women have to perform femininity in order to transition and how support groups will share questions and answers in order to fit into the “proper” mold so they can receive HRT and other gender affirming care.

But wait a damn minute. Trans men do this too. Hell, it’s super common, not just in trans specific medical care that to be taken seriously by medical gatekeepers that you have to find other people in similar situations and learn the script. But let’s not focus on that. Just the trans men not needing to follow a script to get care.

And in case you think nonbinary and agender or gender neutral folks are left alone in Whipping Girl (emphasis again mine):

There are many different strategies that trans people may use to ease their gender dissonance. Perhaps the most common one is trying to suppress or deny one’s subconscious sex. Others may allow their subconscious sex to come to the surface occasionally, for example through either crossdressing or role-playing. Still others may come to see themselves as bigendered (having a mixture of both femininity and masculinity and/or femaleness and maleness), gender-fluid (moving freely between genders), or genderqueer (identifying outside of the male/female gender binary). And those of us who make the choice to live as the sex other than the one we were assigned at birth are commonly called transsexuals.

Yeah no, she literally, explicitly says IN CHAPTER ONE that nonbinary, genderfluid, and genderqueer identities are a result of only partially expressing one’s subconscious sex. Because that’s how she’s experienced her transness. From denying, to cross-dressing, to nonbinary to a binary trans woman. And because she experienced things a certain way, she holds this to be true throughout the rest of her book.

Whipping Girl came out in 2007. It was written in 2005. It’s outdated to say the least, even if it was any good in 2007, which I have my own feelings about (they’re negative). If there is a single paragraph about transmasc erasure in Whipping Girl that blows away my entire understanding of the book as being transandrophobic, exorsexist bilk built upon half-baked research, racism, and the personal experiences of a college-educated, middle-class white woman, then I look forward to reading it.

But sorry, right now I don’t see it.

As for the claim that transmasc erasure can be used to other trans women and trans femme aligned folks... yeah. Trans women being at the forefront of the public’s mind when it comes to transgender issues hurts trans women because they are so closely scrutinized.

Doesn’t mean it doesn’t still hurt trans men or masc people, and it doesn’t mean that you can throw it as some gotcha card if trans spaces are criticized for prioritizing trans women and femme people or trans men or masculine people.

Anyway tl;dr stop hiding behind Serano she’s a shitty gen trans advocate and should not be taken seriously when talking about trans masculine or nonbinary or nonwhite experiences. I wonder if this is what you were looking for Andrea?

I really hate Whipping Girl and the way it gets used to belittle trans masculine experiences. And the fact that Serano is just. aldkjf exorsexist.

#whipping girl #transandrophobia #Do you want me to talk at length about this because this is how I started making the whipping girl videos #go watch transamerica it's a good movie that serano loathes

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greysfall · 3 years

Text

My 4444-word review of NEO TWEWY (with personal illustration + heavy spoilers)

My overall critical score for the game is 7.5/10, while my personal enjoyment score is 8.5/10. This review is posted as I have 80% completed the game, got the secret ending and achieved the Angel psychic rank. I’ll first start with the main pros and cons as follows.

PROS:

- Enjoyable as a whole, still upholding the first game’s spirit in world building and sharing the same backbone - which was mostly revealed in the Secret Reports, it’s impossible to grasp the story without reading them.

- The new cast and new game is charming in their own way

- The old cast’s return is one of the biggest highlights for sure, it was fun and impactful. Everyone stays true to themselves and also had their own stories wrapped up nicely.

- Boss designs are cool, new pins are fun to use and collect

- The connection between the old and new cast is well written and executed, including but are not limited to the tension between the old and new protagonist, the weird but fun interaction between the 2 Composers, the new friendships revealed and formed

- Sho being in the main cast is something so uniquely TWEWY and uniquely Sho

- Still good music

- Still many fun side quests, some of them really uphold the same quirky spirit of the old game and some are surprisingly touching

- Many new nice stores and yummy looking foods to explore

- The map is really easy to memorize for me, it’s fun to travel around the “current” Shibuya to see all the differences compared to the past

- The social network is crazy and interesting to read through

- Has an anti-frustration system to help 100% complete the game more easily and earn money faster, so post-game is relatively managable.

- Overall, I really feel the efforts the team poured into making this as their passion project, not just during the development process but for all the last 14 years. They showed the vision of what they wanted to make, at the same time giving something to both the old as well as new fans.

CONS:

- The biggest problem with the game is scenario writing. The story is so heavily back-loaded. The director himself thought it would be better to balance out the tension flow by adding more at the beginning but gave in to the scenario writer in the end, probably due to time pressure. This results in an underwhelming execution of characterization and lots of wasted potentials for the first half of the game.

- I struggle to view it as a stand-alone game, since the backstory and the old cast both play such an important role in the core of the game. If someone plays this game without having played the OG, they can only enjoy it on surface value at best.

- The new cast is nice but most of them aren’t quite as intriguing as the old cast, maybe it’s cuz they’re all too nice deep down that they lack a little bit of an edge, of that batshit craziness that everyone in the OG used to have? I think some characters (Fret, Nagi) ended up weaker in terms of characterization because the writer is too afraid of making them unlikeable – which kind of backlashed cuz they only became likable in the most expectable way to cater for a specific group of fans. I would have wished for the other team leaders to be more crazy too, had they not suffered 30+ loops of the Game…

- The CAMERAWORK IS HELL.

- Gameplay does get tedious at certain points with all the time travels.

- Shiba is so badly written as a villain, some Shinjuku characters should be given more screentime cutting into Shiba’s– like Hishima or Kaie or even, Hazuki (though his limited presence also solidified his importance).

- Some of the main character designs, for example Beat’s hairstyle and his food reactions are hilariously bad. What’s the point of covering up most of his unique facial features?

- Some of the minor/side characters’ design are too cool for them to have such a small role (eg: Ayano, Eiru). Ryoji did get much screentime but is nowhere as fun as Makoto was.

- Overall the scope of this game is made a little too big for the team to handle as perfectly as the last game that was very compact, it felt somewhat rushed in development too so the missing pieces are clearly there in the final picture

The entry fee versus paying for it all in the end

An important difference between the Neo game and the original Shibuya game was that the Shibuya rule asked for an entry fee that is the Player’s most important asset, stated as a chance the Composer gives them to reexamine themselves. Meanwhile, the Shinjuku rule neither encourages nor allows personal growth and ultimately aims to erase as many Players as possible. It’s a pity we were never introduced to the full Shinjuku rulebook, as it seems like the system there focuses more on building up power and a grand government to compare with the individuality-driven system of Shibuya.

When you have to compare the new game and the original game (OG), this is an important factor to consider. Also, the OG has a serious storyline running through and through, locked with a different partner/GM creating unique atmosphere for each week and you don’t get to see your old partners again until the end. NEO’s team system does not allow such deep insight and communication between the Players. All of your teammates are always there throughout, the dynamic does change with each new addition but it is not as prominent as a partner change.

Another important factor is how the OG was built from scratch for a new platform as “something no one has ever seen before”, while Neo recycled a lot of old unused ideas from the previous development (check out this interview for more details). The development team for NEO lacks 2 key members and had a change of writer so the final product is not as strongly bound together as the last game.

The new cast is definitely inspired by today’s teenagers (from the view of creators), compared to the old cast they’re more sociable and always seem to take whatever works for them despite feeling unstable inside. They are all innocent and genuinely nice kids, avoiding to hurt each other to a degree that they end up keeping some sort of distance. They’re also unable to communicate at deeper levels, always stagnant at this half-baked stage of equilibrium without any motivation to get to the core of things. That is the cost of entering the game without an entry fee, without even dying or having a reason to be there/to fight seriously. These kids were stolen from the RG into a Game that was decidedly the worst environment for them to change or develop, just wandering around cluelessly to find a way “out” until tragedies started to unfold one by one and they ended up being charged the total sum of the price for their actions – ultimately losing everything in the end.

That is, I believe, a story arc which can resonate more to the youth of today rather than of my generation. If the message of the old game was to “listen”, enjoy life to the fullest and accept to trust others, the message of the new game is to “speak up” from the inside, trying to understand yourself and take actions instead of just going with the flow and finally, to take responsibility for such actions.

If Neku was handpicked by the Composer for being the special one with an all-dense soul to ensure victory of the game then Rindo was just a normal kid chosen out of random by Kubo to be his back-up plan, who just happened to have a high enough imagination to awaken the incredible power from his pin. Rindo was then officially chosen by the Composer as Josh picked up and handed the pin to him again, this time not as Josh’s personal Proxy – but as the Proxy to represent the normal people of Shibuya and via whom he could gamble if humans can fight for their own fate.

The underworld heroine and the hero with little of his own

Shoka is for me a refreshing and layered heroine. She’s the kind of character that took at least 3 trials of creators to form as a complete individual – that included Nomura who gave her the base design and Reaper background, Gen who gave a more cunning touch and the writers who made her English dialogues more punchy. Dishonesty equals “tsundere” is such a cliché, so the English writers tried really hard to avoid that trope in my opinion, while still letting her good intention come through.

She serves as the character who is informed of everything the players should have known, and there was almost nothing she could do about it. Almost. Until she met Rindo.

They were drawn to each other by sharing a state of “not having anything of their own”. They both started out with not being able to truly know themselves, Shoka even hated her RG life but also managed to mature from that stage before Rindo. She must have vibed with Shiki’s love and passion in the Gatto Nero threads, initiating her connection with Shibuya and understanding herself more. With Shoka as Swallow, they were able to open up to each other and offer mental support… but was still not getting to the centre of their problems because for all this time, Shoka could not tell Rindo the most important things about herself.

How did Shoka feel when she met Rindo at the UG? She probably didn’t want to hope that he would live the day until she witnessed the Twisters’ potentials. From the very beginning, they were both incredibly conscious of each other and also constantly frustrated that the person they happened to “notice” was such a condescending bitch/a clueless loser. The Shinjuku Reapers are overall quite drunk in power and uncompassionate to Players, Shoka included. She is also a master of dissociation, which results in her constant boredom, tone swings, haughtiness and subconsciously distancing herself from the friend – the boy she cares about – from false hope, as she judged from facts that it was a hopeless situation where nothing could ever be. Maybe she is naturally a bit of a chameleon just like her name suggests (Shoka 紫陽花 = hydrangea, the color-changing flower), so putting on an act and always dissociating herself from what’s important was easy, while hiding her contradiction was impossible. It was the ex-Reaper Beat who broke it out to her, that she should decide whether she really cared and wanted to do something for a change. He knew how it felt like to cross that line, and knew she wanted to too.

Shoka is endeared by many of the Shinjuku Reapers and has shown independent acts of kindness (the Shinjuku ghost), proving that her kind and truthful side is as real as her harsh and dishonest side – which makes her a nice mirror to the previous heroine Shiki, who also embraced a dichotomy of self-complex and self-love within her character. In the end, she was the first of the new cast to ultimately accept all that is important to her and independently made the decision to help save Shibuya despite all costs.

She was jealous at Rindo’s interaction with Tsugumi and Kanon but remained silent cuz she wasn’t at a place to have any say about it. She also didn’t reveal about Swallow because that would only add an awkward irrelevance to their current situation, as she was too ready to face erasure at the end of the Game. She only wished to “play a game” with him, be it FanGo or the Reapers’ Game. The tension that the team could only feel at the end, she’s felt it the entire time. The song “DIVIDE” is applicable to not just one bond in the game, but it always makes me think of theirs. There is always a “divide” between her and Rindo throughout the course of their journey, as the living and the dead, as a Player and Reaper, as someone who has a place to return to and someone who doesn’t, someone who knows little but wields too much power and someone who knows a lot despite not being able to do much.

“If only I had the chance to connect with you on the other side

But time goes on, and without us realizing it

The battle is getting heated

Time goes on, and without us realiazing it

Divided again”

To be honest, maybe I didn’t grow any affection for the new main cast from Rindo’s perspective but from Shoka’s. Since I started to sympathize with Shoka, I started to see the boy in a more “real” way. The real Rindo, behind his peaceful façade with others, would lash out on Shoka for her unfairly harsh attitude while none of the others cared. He could also subtly feel that mantle of unspoken secrets from her, her own contradictions, the unresolved chemistry between themselves – and not knowing what to do with it rather than to feel angry with all the unfairness he could not process. (As a Libra too, he’s triggered the most by unfairness!)

It is actually a positive development as he’s at least “reacting” to something strongly now rather than to keep evading his problems. During my replay, I clearly saw the difficult situation Shoka was in, her remaining harshness after the Motoi incident was due to her internal struggle with a mission to save her own life, versus a chance to really be with the team. Her decision was to do both at the risk of losing favour from both sides. Rindo started to accept her layer by layer, as the person who resonated the most to her contradicting nature from the start and knew that via learning her resolve, he has learnt his too.

Later into the game, she even got too much of his attention. Maybe even without knowing she’s Swallow, he’s familiar with her thinking direction and Swallow had always been closer to him than any other friend. It was only after she had to betray her important ones twice that she could start being truly honest. The scene when she died a 2nd time left a strong impression in me, the little reveal let Rindo know that he is also losing Swallow as he’s losing Shoka – and that only death could drive the last secret out of her. Her final “Later, loser” echoed through Rindo as it was the final truth, with only him remaining to hear it: they had actually, already lost everything.

Rindo was the boy who never dared to face all that matters to him until he lost it all, fighting an unfair battle in the faith that they would somehow still win. Shoka was the girl who always knew what was dear to her, but never dared to think she could be together with them ever after and still threw her all into a battle she knew was losing. I think they stir each other on naturally to fill out their gaps, similar to what the Shibuya game partner systerm would have aimed for. The end reward was a little divine intervention to help close up the divide between them once and for all.

During the game there was not enough space to process anything personal so at the ending when they officially became “friends”, it was an important affirmation of their bond. Some people complained it was friendzoning but it’s not, they just have arrived at the perfect place to start something more. “From now on, we will truly be together” – I read it as that kind of message.

The heroine from a lost battle, with her story taken away

After reading the secret reports and playing the game to be surprised of how small a role Tsugumi had in the main game despite being the “Hype-chan” thought to be a major character of the next TWEWY installment, many fans would feel sad at a missed opportunity to see the Shinjuku arc in full depiction.

It was shown clearly that, a Shinjuku arc was very carefully planned out and is a vital part of the whole story, yet it could not be made due to various circumstances behind the development scene. I would assume, that the team were not able to make a TWEWY game that ended on a despairing note, but it already happened in their mind, thus becoming a mental burden that forced them to break away from it and started the game anew with NEO. A significant part of NEO became the healing arc for the Shinjuku characters, especially for Tsugumi though I really wished more emphasis should have been placed on her rather than Shiba. We didn’t even get to see her brother – Shinjuku’s Conductor who had a vital role and instead was given the clueless Shiba, who had absolutely no idea what’s going on all the way until the last day in NEO. It’s as if Tsugumi has had her story stolen away from her, because her own battle ended with a saddening loss.

I think every time the game creators look at Tsugumi, they would feel that sadness too. Maybe to them, she is a bigger character than what is seen by the fans, as despite their failed effort to depict her story, she’s lived in their mind for all these years through periods of destruction, healing and rebuild. Though it is a pity we could not get to experience the full scope of the Shinjuku story, the creators was clear about the place they wished for it to arrive at.

Individuality, connection and the social network

The team system adapted from Shinjuku rulebook does not allow much room for personal development, as the team dynamic is closer to a work relationship forced to bear results, than a spiritual bond to max out all corners of understanding as found in the partnership system. The old Shibuya system allowed only 1 winner and 1 week limit per game, while the new rule declares for a 1 winning team and only the team at last place will be erased – the other teams will enter another loop. Furthermore, whichever team to challenge the unwinnable Ruinbringers will face the risk of ending up dead last followed by erasure. As a result, the longest-standing teams are most likely not the strongest ever recorded, but the ones who have figured out a strategy to simply survive until something changes, enjoying their newly found social constructs while they are at it. Basically, it is a system to hypnotise players into the illusion that they are still “living”.

Therefore, we as players would not get to the core of each Player individually as fast and directly as we did in the last game. The Twisters were able to stand out not because they’re powerful, they only started to have a real chance after growing enough to each form a meaningful and personal connection to another teammate. It did not come as a team, nor did it intiate from the existing friendship between Rindo and Fret. In fact, I did not find much solidity or anything truly note-worthy about the main team and new characters within themselves until they started clashing with other team members, Reapers and new recruits from week 2 onwards. Rindo found his personal development with Shoka (via a clash with Motoi and pretty much a mini dating sim between them), then via the confrontation of his role with Neku; Fret found his with Kanon then Nagi, the team learned about the real Neku via Beat, Neku entered the UG via Coco’s wish to save Tsugumi… it was not the team but their personal links that empowered them to fight and solve each of their problems.

The other team leaders may have failed because they did not form such personal links, after 30+ hopeless loops Fuya’s team all fell apart to pursue their own interest even at the cost of erasure, Motoi quit his KOL façade to work like a dog for the Reapers (probably to save just his own ass not his team), while Kanon dropped her tricks to find changes via honest cooperation in acceptance of a fair loss. The despairing note in that is huge without making much of a scene because their failure didn’t happen at their best effort to “win”, but in their last attempt to find a way “out”. Even Shiba got his way “out” in the end thanked to his personal friendship with Hishima and Tsugumi.

Something has shifted in the mindset of the game creators in the last 14 years, as both games are about “connection vs individuality” but the last game focuses more on connection between just individuals and this one on the overall network that is formed out of those individual connections.

The introduction of Beat into the main cast was truly the bridge between old and new, they helped each other out in several turns before officially recruiting him. Beat is a character whom a lot of fans including myself have felt somewhat concerned about after Neku disappeared from the RG, so when the new kids welcomed Beat with warm and organic interaction and Beat seemed happy, I started to feel like I wanted to help them out too! I think the overall team chemistry is enjoyable enough for new players, but I could warm up to the new kids more from the pov of a returning character – whom I’m glad to be Beat, as the older brother figure who is genuinely kind, fun, serious and upbeat at the same time; who is needed and needs the kids in return.

The social network is a fun and refreshing feature. You can read all of the crazy tidbits about Shibuya and the links each character have formed with the town people, it’s also fun to visualize how the characters act off screen. Characters’ profiles provide extra insight into their background too, like how it reveals Tsugumi has been friend with Coco during her time in the RG. During the game when not all characters have showed up, you can sometimes guess which empty spot will belong to whom. For example there is a 1 character linking to Neky that is not linked to anyone else, so I could guess that was Joshua, and that another character linking only to Joshua was probably Hazuki, hinting that the 2 Composers are related before either of them even showed up.

Hazuki only showed up for 5 minutes, but his presence is so vital and true to the game that I think he is the most memorable out of the new cast. The two Composers have such an intriguing bond, with their yin/yang or phoenix/dragon themes, opposite color design, the sempai/kouhai tone and the way they keep some sort of distance/work relationship as if it’s mandatory between Higher beings, yet at the same time they can talk so casually because they are truly equal – and different from one another. I have written a separate meta on them here.

Some people pointed out, that all Shinjuku characters’ names and themes are based off Hanafuda cards and the Phoenix in Hanafuda belongs to the Paulownia suit – which is Joshua’s name flower. This is so interesting because it feels like the creators somehow saw it as a sign to interweave the Shibuya and Shinjuku storylines together. Though it doesn’t come out much on the surface, it’s fascinating nonetheless considering both Josh and Haz had at some point interfered with the other town’s affairs.

“Shibuya tour with Haz” was such a special scene, as it happened between 2 characters who do not/no longer have a reason to care about Shibuya, on the subject of what is worth saving about Shibuya. Hazuki carried out the purification of Shinjuku and stepped in to restore Shibuya just as part of his job and unlike Hanekoma or Joshua who both possess profound understanding of humanity, he really didn’t know humans at all. Rindo’s irrational wish invoked in him a sense of curiosity, to try gambling on something irrationally and learning a bit of what his senior have experienced. With all the pieces put together, it provides an overview on Higher beings as a whole, and that Joshua and Hanekoma are really the odd ones out with Hazuki being somewhere in between them and the rest.

The old friends

It’s easy to have returning characters overshadow the new cast as they have already matured out of their personal story arc and stayed in our hearts for all this time. In the end, I have managed to enjoy both the old and new cast separately and altogether, and they will both find their own place in our memory of this game for the long term.

Sho is truly as crazy as ever, the game wouldn’t be the same if Sho is any less of what he is. Sometimes it doesn’t feel like Neky or Beat is younger than Nagi at all, with moments when it seems like Neky has aged 14 years instead of 3 years. His friendship with Coco surprised me pleasantly, and their interaction together with Beat was fun to watch. Rhyme’s found a new dream and her friendship with Kaie is precious too, especially considering that she can still talk to him online after the game ended. Josh and Neku’s interaction suggested that they have resolved the past and are on equal terms now, they even parted ways in good spirit and I don’t feel any worry about them like I did before.

Neku and Shiki’s reunion scene was beautiful, theirs is such a special bond that it has grown and supported them even without being able to see each other. I am so happy to see them all again and that they stay true to who they are, albeit looking more grown up, cooler and happier than ever before.

Overall, NEO can’t become a classic on par with the OG, but is definitely a good sequel and a good game in its own rights. I’m happy with whether or not there will be a 3rd game to complete the 3 monkeys theme, but if there will be – I hope the creators can really find the time to learn from the last 2 games and start over with a fresh mindset and strong core.

#neotwewy #neotwewyspoilers #ntwewy #ntwewy spoilers #neo the world ends with you #twewy #review #meta #neo twewy #shoka sakurane #rindo kanade #tsugumi matsunae

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miraculouscontent · 3 years

Note

so... could you write some more adrien/chat salt? your fics and posts salting on him are always so good 🥺

Thank you! And of course~

—————

Ladybug had considered what to say multiple times over the day she'd had to think about it. She'd thought about all the different ways she could've said it, and what would've been the most effective when who she was talking to was taken into account.

However, sitting there on the rooftops with Chat Noir, there was a point where she just had to say it, no matter how it came out.

"Give me your miraculous."

Chat jerked his head over to her, jarred from the silence and eyes wide as his brain seemed to process the statement. Ladybug, meanwhile, stared ahead at the night sky, as if she hadn't said anything out of the ordinary.

After a few more seconds, she got a reply in the form of laughter, Chat buckling over with a hand on his stomach. "That's quite the Hawk Moth impression, Bugaboo!" he exclaimed, though calming himself enough to give her a half-lidded gaze and add, "But you don't have to do that to impress me, you know."

She didn't reply, only turning to look at him with her expression entirely flat, not showing any reaction to the mixture of teasing and flirting.

He was still grinning for a while, but as the silence dragged on, he began to falter. "...Ah—" He shook his head, leaning towards her and trying to force a smirk. "—if you want a wish that badly, all you need to do is say the word, m'lady! I can grant all your wishes."

She remained stoic, maintaining eye contact with him but not encouraging his banter. She could practically hear the gears turning in his head as it became clear to him that she was very much not joking.

One of Chat's ears twitched in confusion. He leaned back to his normal distance from her, seeming at a loss for what to say now that the atmosphere was finally registering with him.

Ladybug took a breath, noting that she had his attention. She straightened and looked back over Paris, saying, "I can't do this anymore."

He followed her gaze, squinting as if the answer would be written out there in bold letters for him. "Being a hero?"

"No, us. Us being partners." While he gaped at her, she stared down at her lap, her hands clutching her thighs as if that would give her some sense of stability. "...Chat, do you think this is a game?"

Chat shifted and rubbed the back of his neck, clearly not having expected the conversation to go here. It was hard to tell whether he was trying to keep things light or if it was just his genuine reply when he responded, "W-well, I'm definitely in it to win if that's what you mean—"

"I talked to Xavier Ramier today."

She watched his expression carefully, his hand leaving his neck and hovering awkwardly in the air as he looked at her. He seemed puzzled, not knowing what this had to do with the conversation, though his brows rose briefly like he'd remembered something.

She continued, trying not to show too much in her reaction as she explained, "Since I'm not as busy right now, I thought I'd check in on some of the people who got akumatized but I didn't have time for earlier. He was one of them." Idly, she pulled out her yoyo, almost mindlessly tapping away at it as she navigated through the various menus. "He said you came by to check on him a while ago; said that you were sitting there, just enjoying the day with him. He told me that you asked him if he missed being Mister Pigeon, or if he was feeling any negative emotions."

"I—" Chat tried to interject.

She didn't hear him, too focused on telling the story. "Then I asked him when you showed up, and he didn't know exactly when, but..." She showed him her yoyo, the messages Chat had sent clearly being timestamped for reference. "I figured out from what his rough guess and asking around that it was when you were supposed to be on patrol."

"I was on patrol!" Chat protested. "I was just checking up on him."

"You were relaxing on a bench," Ladybug reminded him., her tone remaining consistently flat. Snapping her yoyo shut and returning it to her hip, she added, "I even asked around and people told me they saw you go into the Grand Paris Hotel. I heard from one of the butlers there that you were sulking, and got excited when you saw Chloe and Sabrina fighting."

He opened his mouth to explain himself, but she could tell that he was struggling to come up with an excuse; he honestly believed that she'd never find out about any of this.

"I trusted you, Chat. I trusted you to cover for me when I'm not there, no matter what." She needed to swallow back her emotions for that one. "Why would you do that? Why would you hope for akuma to happen? Why would you lie to me?"

"I didn't!" Chat insisted, waving his arms frantically. "I—see... it was an off day! I was just—you know I can always do my best around you, and I did patrol! I just... made a few stops along the way! I wouldn't lie to you!"

"So you don't lie to me," she stated cautiously, "and you've never lied against me."

"Of course not!" he assured.

She paused for effect, just long enough for him to grow uneasy, then said, "Theo Barbot waved me down a while back."

Chat visibly cringed, and she could hear a hissing sound as he sucked in a breath.

"He wanted to congratulate me. He saw the picture of us kissing on the Ladyblog and said that he was glad we could finally go public about our relationship." Her gaze sharpened even as she stared at nothing in particular. "I asked what he meant, and he told me that you said that we were a thing. He said that that's what got him akumatized."

"It wasn't..." He averted his gaze. "...a lie exactly."

In response, Ladybug stood, throwing her arms outwards as emotion began to seep into her voice. "This is about more than lies, Chat; it's about everything! If you can only do your best around me, then what happens if an akuma gets me?" She didn't need him to answer. "You'll lose it. I need someone who I know will take care of things even if I'm captured."

"I would!" Chat retorted he stood up, the nervousness now showing on his face. "I would do everything to get you back, I—"

"Party Crasher," she cut in without missing a beat.

He recoiled like she'd physically struck him.

"And it's not just that I can't rely on you if I'm taken out; I can't rely on you not to take yourself out," she said pointedly, turning away from him and taking a few steps away to distance herself. "You're always throwing yourself in front of me and sacrificing yourself, sometimes when you don't even have to and always without just talking to me about it! Do you have any idea how that feels? You tell me all the time that you'll listen to me and how I'm the planner here, and then you go and make plans without me."

She heard Chat's hurried footsteps from behind her as he tried to match her pace and argue, "It's not like that! It's just—it's because..."

She turned just as he reached her, her stern gaze making him stop. "Because my anger is so irresistible?" she asked. "I'm just so adorable when I'm mad that you won't listen to me?" She advanced on him, forcing him back. "Thanks, Chat, that makes me feel so much better that you can't take me seriously because you just love me that much," she said sarcastically.

"That's not what I meant!" he argued, though at that point it seemed like all he could do was weakly protest that he didn't mean anything that way. "I'm only teasing, Bugaboo!"

"Then what do you really mean?" She clenched her fists at her side. "I've told you to stop calling me Bugaboo and you never do! You're too busy bantering and talking about our relationship to focus on the fight, and when that kiss happened - the one that happened because you got shot by Oblivio and I had to save you - you laughed at me for being upset and you didn't care. I'm tired of having to deal with all of that; I'm dealing with enough as guardian!" Reminded of her own status, she steeled herself up and held a hand out to him, managing to calm down enough to say, "Now, revoke your miraculous. I'll give it to someone else."

Chat retreated, his hand moving to cover his ring protectively. The nervousness had partially faded away into him being generally upset, though he also didn't try to defend his actions anymore. "You... if you give the ring to someone else, you'll know their identity!"

"I've already got a plan for that," Ladybug stated, holding her hand out more insistently.

Because of course she did. She wouldn't have been doing any of this if she hadn't given it a lot of thought first. There were pros and cons to bringing in a new cat, and when she really weighed it all together, this was the only way forward. Chat wouldn't learn, and she'd been stuck in a limbo of shouting at him, being ignored, and having to push down her feelings in the future or risk damaging their teamwork. She'd devalued herself - devalued her emotions - in order to believe that she could make it work because she needed him.

Except, she didn't. She needed a cat; someone to use the more active miraculous to balance out the lack of firepower that the ladybug miraculous had. It wasn't that it could be just anyone, but it certainly didn't have to be Chat. While she deeply regretted going back on one of Master Fu's decisions when he couldn't even have a say in it anymore, the fact of the matter was that she was the guardian and she made the rules.

Chat backed away a few more steps, his eyes darting around as he sought a way out of the situation. Then, facing Ladybug, a mixture of upset and offended, he argued, "We're a team! We still come out fine no matter what happened! You don't even know my identity, I've kept it a secret just like you wanted!"

He was reaching, and they both knew it. That had always been the reason for revoking someone's miraculous: someone else knowing their identity. However, there were reasons beyond that, and them "coming out fine" from a battle was hardly a high bar for someone getting to keep theirs. Ladybug knew that well enough after having dealt with Miracle Queen; even if Chloe's identity hadn't been revealed, she was still a bad person who felt entitled to a miraculous.

But Ladybug also understood the game Chat was playing at: that it wouldn't be right to take his miraculous when he's protected his identity. The logic was flawed, but she nonetheless crossed her arms and gave him a blank look, staring into his green cat eyes and starting to fit pieces of a metaphorical puzzle together.

Kung Food, Horrificator, and Startrain: those at minimum were times where Chat's civilian form had to have been inside at the time the akuma happened. Chat had also mistaken Francoise Dupont for an elementary school after they'd defeated Kwamibuster, but she mentally acknowledged that he could've been lying. He had to have been, if they were trapped in that building together with Horrificator. It narrowed things down significantly, and she knew that he had to have been a teenager like her due to the timer on his miraculous.

And while she was aware that Chat's green eyes meant nothing considering that she got green eyes as Lady Noire, there were little coincidences sprinkled throughout their history together that didn't add up unless she came to one final conclusion.

Chat showing up at the museum even though he'd have no way of knowing that an akuma could've been there. Chat knowing that Volpina's illusion was fake. Chat's mysterious loss of his miraculous when Style Queen was attacking.

The feather allergy.

Then, Ladybug glanced at the hand he was covering; the one she knew had the cat miraculous on his right ring finger. She almost felt like congratulating herself for constantly resisting the temptation, because when she actually thought about it, it was so obvious.

She knew that hand, as she'd seen it so many times. She had pictures of it plastered all over her wall and the realization made her feel sick, her heart dropping as opposed to skipping a beat.

"...Adrien Agreste," she said finally. "You're Adrien Agreste."

He blinked, his expression blank at first before dread started to take its place. His mouth slowly fell open, words trying to escape but there weren't any to be found.

She let the moment drag, stepping forward to close the distance between them. Adrien's face flashed over Chat Noir's for a moment and she swallowed, summoning all of her confidence to address him properly.

"Tell me, Adrien. Tell me that this hasn't been a game for you. Tell me that you wanted to protect Paris all this time. Tell me that this hasn't all been about you."

She waited, not expecting or hoping for any answer in particular, because it no longer mattered; the conclusion would the same regardless.

Ultimately, she got no reply, and within the next ten minutes, the cat miraculous was in her hands and Adrien was promptly taken home.

—————

Marinette took a breath of the cool night air, having chosen to walk home rather than get there as Ladybug. She needed time to think, and walking helped her clear her head from the rush of everything that'd happened.

Her purse rustled, Tikki popping out and leaning off the side to look up at her. "Is everything okay, Marinette?"

"Yeah." She nodded her head, just to reassure Tikki further. "It was for the best. It's a lot, but... I wanted to do it; for me, and for Paris."

Regardless of how many emotions she had to deal with, she was glad she knew. She supposed that she could've taken Chat's miraculous without seeing his identity - though it would've been complicated - but it helped her sort through so many thoughts in her mind.

She let out half of a chuckle, idly thinking that she dodged a bullet. If dating Adrien would've turned him into any level of Chat Noir - or, honestly, just knowing that he was Chat Noir - then it was definitely for the best that she figured out his identity. She wasn't sure how she'd behave around him the following days, but just the idea of things being any semblance of "normal" in the face of "the famous model Adrien Agreste," with no stutters or freak-outs...

It was nice, making everything feel a little brighter. Maybe Alya would even stop claiming that she's just "jealous" of Lila, the girls would stop teasing her so much, and she could put all that time she used to spend thinking about Adrien into something more productive. There hadn't seemed to be a downside in sight, actually.

As Marinette kept thinking on the subject, her gaze wandered off to the side, taking in the sights around her, and she paused when she noticed that she was right next to the Seine. The revelation didn't surprise her - she knew she'd have to pass by it to get home - but it did inevitably remind her of Luka, especially since they'd broken up only a day ago.

The metaphorical wound was still fresh, not helped by the fact that Lies had come right afterward as if to remind her of why she had to break up with him; she couldn't have a normal life, and she certainly couldn't have a boyfriend. It didn't matter if she loved Luka and he loved her back, because she would always have to leave their dates at the first sign of an akuma.

Yet, nevertheless, there was some form of comfort in staring out at the river, and she found herself traveling down the nearest set of stairs to walk right next to the Seine instead of so far above it, her eyes trailing along the surface of the water to search for the Liberty.

It took a few minutes of walking, almost making her wonder if she'd passed it without realizing, but then she saw the ship resting in the water, right where it always was. She approached, taking in the various colors and the silly rainbow weathervane, her body automatically relaxing at the memories of those two weeks of crafting kittycorn-themed costumes from paper mache.

Curiously, she noticed that the gangplank was up, as someone presumably had forgotten to pull it back before going to bed that night. Marinette walked over, crouching down and wondering idly if it was possible that it had been put up but had just fallen over at some point, yet it was clearly set perfectly in place.

Mentally trashing the thought, she placed her hands on her knees and started getting up. As she straightened her back, her eyes involuntarily scanned over the deck of the ship, a familiar color palette of blues, blacks, and whites registering in her mind before she fully recognized what—who it was. Her eyes locked onto the figure, and she had to slap a hand over her mouth to prevent herself from letting out a yelp.

It was Luka, sitting down on an instrument case with his guitar in his lap, though Marinette noted after a moment that he was actually asleep. Concern furrowed her brows as she took in his posture, one of his arms resting on the case while the other was perched on the guitar's base. His back was arched against the taffrail of the ship and his head was tilted back to the point where his hair was falling into his face.

There was no way that was comfortable.

Marinette hesitated, feeling almost like she was trespassing, then gave Tikki a look to hide inside the purse while she walked across the gangplank Any footsteps against the deck of the ship seemed unusually loud due to the otherwise quiet night, but Marinette tried to ignore it, approaching Luka cautiously so as not to startle him.

He was frowning, and she involuntarily copied the expression onto her own face. Outside of the bumps in their dates and the break-up itself, it was rare to see him as anything but calm or happy, and she got the distinct feeling that it wasn't just because he was asleep that he was making that face.

She reached up, lightly fixing his hair in case to try and keep it out of his eyes when he woke up, then lowered her hand to his shoulder. She gave him a light shake, then another with a little more effort when the first failed to stir him. When that failed as well, she leaned close, looking side to side like she was afraid someone would see her and think she was doing something strange. However, no one else was around, allowing her to safely whisper his name to him.

"Luka."

She stiffened when she got an immediate response to that, Luka letting out a low humming noise as he shifted. She jolted back, trying to give him space and blushing at the thought that shaking hadn't woken him in the slightest but her voice had immediately.

Luka's eyes opened halfway, staring blankly up at the sky. Brows lowering in confusion, he tried to move, though a whine escaped him when his body protested at the uncomfortable position he'd gotten himself into. He winced, but eased forward and leaned on his guitar for support, only then looking forward and meeting her gaze.

She shifted in place, feeling awkward but knowing that it was too late to back out now.

"...Mmmarinette?" he asked, squinting like he wasn't really sure she was there. He blinked a few times, his eyes widening a fraction when he confirmed that she was real. "Marinette?"

"Ah—hi," she replied, waving awkwardly. "Um, sorry, it was just—I was walking, and I saw you, and you were sleeping weird—not that you sleeping is weird or you look weird when you sleep!—but you seemed really uncomfortable so I just..." She gestured vaguely at his current state of awareness.

He let out a tired sound that may've been an "oh," then ran his fingers into his hair and rustled it, like he was attempting to shake the tiredness out of himself. That done, he managed a small smile at her that didn't stretch anywhere near the amount it usually would. "Thank you. I'm glad you care about me that much."

"Of course I do!" she blurted out, a little offended at the idea that she wouldn't. She realized belatedly how loud she'd been and rubbed an arm in embarrassment, but didn't take anything back either.

Deep down, she knew where he was coming from. It must've been hard for him to watch her ditch him and then deal with her ending their relationship with next to no explanation. Even with the confidence he constantly radiated, not having any information on the 'how's or 'why's must've been difficult, and she hated keeping secrets from him.

Even Chat got better than that...

Luka tilted his head at her, the anxiety probably written all across her face. Concerned, he began to ask, "...Is everything—"

"Luka," she called suddenly, straightening to face him fully. "I—" She swallowed, needing a few seconds to compose herself. "I know this is a bad time, because I'm not really supposed to be here, and you can say 'no,' but... can we talk? About what happened?"

She bit her lip nervously as he sat up, his body noticeably more awake than before. She felt like he deserved to know more about the whole situation, but he also had every right to refuse her for waiting - even if it wasn't that long ago - so the possibilities were nerve-wracking.

Thankfully though, Luka relaxed after a moment, lifting his guitar out of his lap to set it aside, the bottom of the body resting on the deck of the Liberty while the neck was supported by the taffrail. Settling his hands in his lap, he then gave her his full attention, even offering a soft look of reassurance.

Her shoulders eased; he was going to hear her out. Part of her almost felt bad, wondering if maybe he was forcing himself, but she also knew it was important for him to get closure on the matter.

"Okay..." She breathed, acknowledging to herself that she hadn't planned this is the slightest. After some internal debate, she sat down on the deck of the Liberty in lieu of a proper seat, earning a look from Luka but no further comment otherwise. Running her hands along her capris, she stared up at him and finally began, "It—it wasn't you."

He raised a brow, silently encouraging her to go on.

"I mean, maybe you weren't worried about that, but I just... I needed you to know that." She shrugged half-heartedly. "You didn't do anything wrong, Luka - you're amazing - and if it wasn't for me always having to leave and rush off and make you feel bad, I would've stayed with you."

"...Really?"

She blinked at his tone, the corners of her lips quirking up as he covered his mouth, clearly not having intended to blurt that out. She simply nodded at him, falling back into her serious state as she continued, "You deserve someone who can be dedicated to you, and I just—I can't, and I can't tell you why either." She slumped, ashamed at the secret she was forced to keep. "I wish I could. I do trust you, but it's not about that. It's—" She pursed her lips, struggling to find the right words. "—it's not really something I can say?"

She dropped her gaze to her lap, but didn't miss the flicker of understanding in his eyes. It was important to her, for him to know that she believed in him and that he'd done everything right in their relationship.

"...Are—" Luka paused, voice laced with worry. "Marinette, are you being blackmailed or something?"

She almost laughed at that. His deduction wasn't entirely wrong, as "go defend Paris from a supervillain and tell no one about it, and if you do then they might be in danger," certainly did sound like blackmail. Still, she shook her head, reassuring, "It's nothing like that. I'm sorry. I really want to tell you, a-and even be with you, but I can't do either." She clutched at her knees in an attempt to ground herself, glancing back up at him with a mixture of sorrow and guilt. "I don't know what you see in me, Luka, but I feel so lucky that you like me so much, and then unlucky because—" She choked briefly, her cheeks heating up as she realized that she'd never said the exact words to him before. "—because I like you too and I want it to be that simple but it's not. You want the truth and the truth is that I can't tell you no matter how much I want to. I know I forget things and had to skip out on dates because I was so stressed out, but you made everything fun and not stressful and I loved every date we went on until... you know." She gestured wildly to imply 'unsaid things happening.'

He was quiet, not showing any particular reaction, though she'd spent enough time with him to know that he was glad that she was talking more openly about it and clearing some things up that he might've been wondering about. His expression seemed blank on the surface but he was relieved to know something even if her words were pulling his emotions in every direction.

Mentally preparing herself for the next step, Marinette pushed herself up and walked over to him, finding it hard to meet Luka's gaze even as she hunched over and boldly placed her hands on top of his. Out of the corner of her vision, she could see his eyes searching her face, not knowing what to expect next.

"...I'm sorry," she murmured. "I know I apologized already but I'm sorry. I should've known things would end up like this but I wanted to date you anyway. I can't even tell you when this is all going to end so I can't ask you to wait for me either because it's not fair. You deserve a relationship that isn't so complicated... that doesn't involve me."

She flinched at the emotional punch to the gut she'd just given herself. She'd already known that dating would be near-impossible so long as she was Ladybug, but it was a completely different feeling to face Luka and say it to his face. She wasn't sure if she'd been his first crush, but the thought left a bitter taste in her mouth that it'd all gone so wrong and there was no hope of getting it back.

She took another breath to calm herself, slowly raising her hands away from his. "Anyway, that's all I wanted to say," she murmured, still not making eye contact with him. "Thanks for trying to show me a good time, Luka, but... maybe you should fall in love with someone else."

She turned away before her emotions could get the better of her, about to walk off when a hand suddenly grabbed her wrist and jerked her back. She squeaked in surprise, glancing behind her to see that Luka was on the edge of the instrument case, arm stretched out like he'd impulsively hurried to stop her. She opened her mouth to ask what he was doing, but he spoke first.

"Why?"

"W...why?" she echoed.

"Why should I fall for someone else?" he asked, his tone somewhere between hurt and serious.

"Ah." She tilted her head, confused and with no idea of what he was getting at. "Because of everything I said?"

"That you enjoyed our dates? That it wasn't us who cut the song short?" His other hand reached up, holding her hand as well while he looked at her tenderly. His voice grew quiet, like he couldn't believe what he was saying. "That you like me?"

Marinette blushed, but found it hard to look away from him this time. "I...I do like you. Um—only you, but—Luka, the dates..."

Luka slowly stood up, gently squeezing her hand in a show of support. "I didn't even think that I'd be taking up too much of your time, Marinette. I wanted to be together with you, but I didn't want it to be hard either." He offered her a lopsided smile, adding, "And I'm glad you told me, because I don't think you being busy means we can't be together."

"...What?" Marinette gaped at him in disbelief. "I thought you said that you wanted the truth, and—"

"You gave it to me," he reminded her. "You said you can't tell me and I believe you."

She waved her free hand wildly. "Y-yeah, and I'll have to run off and we'll never know when!"

"Then we don't have to date, or we don't have to date as much." He'd said it like it was the simplest thing in the world, and maybe it was. "Why should we be playing sad solos when we can play a happy duet instead?"

She went to retort, but he'd so swiftly shot down her arguments that she was left speechless. She hadn't even considered that - trying to compromise with him on their dates - because she thought she wouldn't be worth it for him, yet here he was, offering himself to her again now that everything had been laid out for him. It seemed too good to be true, but...

He was her Second Chance, and every moment she spent with him just reaffirmed why she'd adored being given that chance in the first place.

She made a small noise as she tried to hold back emotion, her hand shaking in his. "You want me that much?"

His smile grew wider and more genuine, clearly recognizing that she was about to accept him. "Yeah. Do you want me too?"

Afraid her voice might crack and ruin the moment, she nodded and turned fully towards him. She held out her other hand for him and he took it happily, both of them able to enjoy each other's company once more.

Once things had properly settled down, she held back a shy giggle and asked, "S-so, do we just... pick up where we left off? Or just—before everything started going wrong?"

He hummed, seeming to honestly think about it. "I guess so. What verse do you want to start from?"

She retraced all of the bad dates in her mind, like she were rewinding a movie. One moment in particular stuck out to her, and she tried not to grin too much as she suggested, "The cinema? After I gave you the necklace?"

She didn't have to clarify any further, his eyes lighting up in remembrance. He grinned and leaned down to be closer to her level, her getting up on her tiptoes to meet him halfway in a kiss, thus finishing what they'd started from what felt like forever ago. She could feel Luka's hands caressing hers, as if to reassure that everything was alright and he was happy.

She waited until the kiss broke apart, then looked at him to ask teasingly, "Better than setting up a whole date to do that?"

He pressed his forehead to hers, sighing happily. "Definitely."

She beamed at him, almost tempted to kiss him again before she remembered what time it was. She gasped, inadvertently surprising him with the sound, then recoiled and placed her hands firmly on his shoulders, sitting him back down on the instrument case.

"You need to sleep!" she told him, then corrected a second later, "But—not here! Not right here anyway! It needs to be in a bed! Your bed!"

He laughed at the abrupt shift in tone, but nodded obediently at her, resting his fingers along her wrists. "I will. You'll sleep too, right?"

She nodded back, her heart skipping a beat at his care for her. "Yeah, I promise."

Her hands lingered on him, as did his with her as she pulled away from him. As much as she would've liked to stay with him, it was late and she still had a lot to take care of.

Rushing across the gangplank, she waited until she was safely on the other side so she wouldn't risk tripping as she turned to face him, walking backward and waving excitedly. "Bye, Luka!"

He suppressed a chuckle at the happiness-induced loudness of her voice, then waved back at her. It was only when he got up to take his guitar inside that she finally turned around and started officially heading home.

—————

When the last of the Adrien photos had been shoved into her trash bin - even the ones on her corkboard - Marinette allowed herself to breathe a sigh of relief and collapse into her chair. It'd taken a little longer than she'd thought, but she was still satisfied with the change. The walk home and conversation with Luka had brought all of her thoughts together and made her feel optimistic about how the day had gone.

"Marinette?" Tikki looked up from the chocolate chip she'd been nibbling on, her being the only kwami awake at that hour. Voicing the inevitable, she asked, "What are you going to do about the cat miraculous?"

Marinette turned, acknowledging her, then reached into her purse to pull out the ring in question, turning it a few times in her hands. It was weird having it in her possession while she still had the ladybug earrings on, but it wouldn't stick around for long anyway, so she wasn't concerned.

Tikki continued, an urgency in her voice, "You're Ladybug, and you're not supposed to know anyone's identities, but you're also the guardian now, so you're supposed to give out miraculouses and know everyone's identities!"

Marinette, much to Tikki's apparent surprise, flashed her a smile and held the ring up confidently. "That's exactly why you're going to pick the next cat, Tikki."

Tikki blanked, dropping the chocolate chip in shock. "Wh—me?" Her voice squeaked. "Why me?"

Marinette would be lying if she said that she didn't find some amusement in Tikki's befuddlement. With a bit of effort, she pushed herself up from her seat, setting the ring down on the table and walking towards the sink at the other side of the room. "Because you've been with every ladybug who's ever existed, which means that you've known every ladybug and cat duo that's ever existed." Giving Tikki an expectant look, she added, "If anyone knows what kind of cat I'd need as a partner, it's you."

"But—" Tikki floundered, the thought clearly having never occurred to her. "It's the guardian who has to hand out miraculouses!"

"I won't know the new cat's identity this way," Marinette reminded her, idly tracing her fingertips along the sink's edge. "Sure, it'll be someone we both know, but if I didn't figure out that Adrien is Chat Noir until I tried, then I won't figure out this one either."

Her eyes scanned over the various drawers in her reach and she pulled open one in particular, a small box jerking forward from the momentum. It was the same box that held her ladybug earrings all those months ago, and now it would be the box for the new cat as well.

Holding the box to her chest and silently wishing luck upon it, Marinette returned to her table to see Tikki staring quietly at the ring in thought, apparently still processing what she'd been told. Marinette paid her no mind for the moment, setting the box down and searching various other drawers for a white cloth big enough for the box to be wrapped in. Then, once she'd successfully found one, she laid it out neatly on the table and opened the box to place the ring inside.

The moving of the ring snapped Tikki out of whatever trance she'd been in. She flew up, clinging to Marinette's hand and begging, "Wait! At least tell me what you'd want in a cat!"

Marinette supposed that was a win, since Tikki wasn't outright rejecting the idea and had little argument against it. She dropped the ring inside the box and smiled at the gentle 'click' it made when she closed it, then turned to address Tikki. The nervousness on display made a modicum of sense when considering that kwami were supposed to obey the guardian, so being told to do what they wanted was probably a little strange.

Marinette just took it in stride. She leaned against her chair as she considered her ideal cat, having been so used to Chat Noir that she needed a minute to imagine someone who really matched her.

"Thoughtful," she answered, nearly blurting the word out when it finally came to her. "Someone who thinks the way I do so I'm not doing everything myself. They can be selfless, but they have to have limits, and with good instincts so they won't throw themselves in front of me." Her expression growing fond at the idea of such a partner, she took the cloth and wrapped the box in it, sealing it with a strong knot as she added, "And... they have to be understanding, where I can cover for them and they can cover for me and we'll just—click."

She snapped her fingers for effect, watching as Tikki flew over to the wrapped-up box and tested it to ensure it was safe to carry. While she was tugging at the knot to confirm it was tight enough, Marinette stood and headed up the stairs to her bed, opening the way to her balcony so Tikki had a way out.

By the time Marinette peeked over the bed to check on Tikki, Tikki had already taken hold of the cloth and flew up to be eye level with her, the box being a noticeable yet manageable weight. Marinette moved to the side, allowing the straight-faced Tikki to go past her and go up to the balcony.

Thinking that Tikki had already gone, Marinette was about to close the trapdoor when she heard a soft, "Marinette?"

Her head turned to see Tikki, hovering above the little table with the box still held in her paws. She seemed conflicted, like she was struggling to find words, but eventually settled on, "You're a great guardian."

And with that, she left, Marinette blinking in surprise for a moment before a smile formed on her face. She closed the way to her balcony, then slipped back down the stairs to start getting ready for bed.

At the same time she'd be settling in to sleep that night, her tiny Miracle Box would be set down delicately in the Liberty, specifically on Luka Couffaine’s amp.

#((And some Lukanette obviously because I have no self control.))#MC's Writing #writing: story #category: salt #salt: chat noir #episode: Lies #other: ml spoilers #relationship: Luka Couffaine & Marinette Dupain Cheng

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jadegreenimmortality · 3 years

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Bungou Stray Dogs Men as Househusbands pt.1 - Sakunosuke Oda

A/N: I’m sorry that this isn‘t a request, but this brain rot has been going on since forever and now I can’t resist it anymore. I totally blame @hanazou for this. There will also be a part two featuring Chuuya, but his part has a completely different feeling to it, that's why I'll post these separately. Besides of that, this is basically an “Way of the Househusband!AU”. Go watch the show or read the manga if you don’t know it, it’s absolutely hilarious! This is mainly focused on them as househusbands, but since you are their spouse, there’s also a bit of reader insert. Also, a lot of Oda as a dad to his orphans. And the whole thing is feat. Dazai. (^^)

Pairings: Oda x gn!reader

Genre: Crack, domestic fluff

Warnings: none

Summary: You, Oda and the orphans move in together. While you become the working spouse, your loving husband stays at home and becomes a full-time househusband.

pt. 2

First things first - If you agree to marrying Sakunosuke Oda, you are also agreeing to become the parent of five children. Oda loves you and you are one of two main reasons he’s leaving the Mafia, the other being his life purpose. But if he’s leaving the Mafia, he’s keeping those kids in (if they want him to of course, but you can’t tell me they don’t, come on -)

So yeah, be ready.

He only cooks spicy curry at the beginning. The curry shop owner gave him the exact recipe of his favourite plate as a goodbye gift and that’s the only thing he is cooking for days on end. He has some basic cooking skills, but this is the only really elaborated dish he knows how to prepare as of now, so be ready to suffer from the spice. It will go on like that until all six of you you and the kids hold an intervention for him. The kids will paint nice banners like they were going to a demonstration saying "No more curry" that they hang up in the living room and he’ll be greeted by your sorrowful face when he comes back from buying groceries.

“What’s this?” – “Oh honey, I’m so sorry, its just…” – “WE CAN’T TAKE THE SPICE ANYMORE STOP COOKING CURRY ALREADY!” – “…I mean…yeah.”

Of course, he’ll be a bit embarrassed and disappointed. May scratch his neck and look to the side thoughtfully. But he’ll take your plead seriously.

This is also how you bond with the kids for the first time. Congratulations, huddling up against someone is always the best way to bond!

He works hard on his cooking skills after that and becomes quite the formidable cook. He takes suggestions from you and the kids and will try to learn how to cook anything you might fancy to eat. It’s really important to him that all of you are happy and cooking may be the most important job of a house spouse, so he takes it very seriously.

There will be curry Tuesday though. One day of spice hell. Enjoy.

Please picture Oda in his usual attire, wearing a beige “kiss the cook” apron over it and bunny slippers. You’re welcome.

He'll learn how to make anime and cartoon-themed bentos for the kids, so it's highly probable you'll get cutely designed bentos as well. Again, you may drop suggestions, he’ll absolutely take them into considerations. Octopus sausages, bunny apple slices, cute bear faces made out of rice, he’ll learn to do them all. He isn’t too sappy of a person, but if he’s feeling romantic while cooking, your rice could also have the shape of a heart. Either way, your co-workers will be very envious of your food and your husband.

Oda iss the master of negotiation at the food market. He’ll be completely stoic all the time, not aggressive or dismissive at all, but he’ll point out little flaws of the products in a way that most shop owner’s won’t be able to deny and that’s how he gets discounts. He doesn’t want to cheat anyone out of their money, but he does have seven mouths to feed.

He may not look like it, but if any of the kids tag along for his grocery shopping, it's really hard for him to deny them something if they beg for it. He may seem unnervingly calm all the time, but he’s a big softie, especially for those kids and for you, and if they hang at his sleeves long enough, they’ll get that ice-cream they want so badly. That doesn’t work on pricier items though, he can be a strict parent when really needed.

Oda is great at handling the finances. He’s well aware that he has to be thrifty with five kids. Still, there is one thing where he struggles to keep his control: books.

If you agree to it, the apartment will have an absolutely minimalistic interior, but! In your living room, there will be a shelf full of books, so big it covers a whole wall. That’s it, that’s Oda’s only weak spot when spending money.

It’s not only books for him though. He buys books for you when he sees something from your favourite author or genre. He buys books for the kids so they learn the joy of literature. Poems, bed time stories he wants them to grow up appreciating the possibilities of the written word.

You can bet that he’ll read them bed time stories. Only one book for all five of them though, so one kid gets to choose a story each day.

He’ll read to you as well if you want him to. His voice is incredibly calm and soothing, he’s a really good reader. There’s a high probability you’ll fall asleep while he reads to you. You can cuddle up in bed and rest your head on his shoulder or sit on his lap and hide your face in the crook of his neck, feeling the vibration of his voice in his chest.

Whenever he has some time to spare, he’ll retire to your shared bedroom to write. Mind you, that won’t happen often. It happens mainly on weekends, when the kids are with friends and/or you are at home. If you want to do him a favour, consider cooking on the weekends, he’ll be more than thankful for the opportunity to submerge in his beloved writing. But don’t worry, it won’t consume him – he’ll always put some time aside to spent with you, without the kids, as well ¬‿¬.

He's so polite with the neighbours. Will pay all his neighbours a short visit together with the kids to introduce himself and bring little gifts. Just imagine him standing there in the door frame, witih all five kids around his legs, smiling at their new neighbours angelically - what's not to love?

He really wants to maintain a good relationship to all of them. Basically, he’s the perfect neighbour – always polite, always up to a little chat, always ready to listen to neighbour A complain over neighbour B without snitching. He’s mainly concerned for the wellbeing the kids though. He wants them to feel part of the community and often arranges play dates with the neighbour kids. If it's possible at the neighbour’s house because five kids are a lot to handle already…and when they are all out of the apartment, it’s cleaning time.

Oda is an angel of patience and the ultimate multitasker. He isn’t left with much of a choice with five kids, but thankfully, calm lies in his nature. You may see him explaining Sakura her math homework while cutting vegetables for today’s lunch. Then, he’ll take a quick glance out of the window to see if they boys are still playing on the street where he can see them and then he’ll check on Sakura again. Isn’t he lovely?

His ability is unexpectedly helpful for all of this. If he’s in the living room to clean, his ability will alarm him if the food’s about to burn. If he’s around the kids, he’ll know in time if one is about to trip. If you come home from work so tired you fall asleep face first in your soup, he’ll be able to catch you. So useful.

He’s a very attentive and loving husband. His love is mainly expressed by keeping the house as clean as he can and putting a lot of effort into cooking. Your work is hard enough, he takes it upon himself to manage everything else. He’ll also try to have the kids well-behaved so they don’t demand too much from you after you come home from work. Though if you decide to pull yourself together and give them attention and love even when tired, he’ll be more than thankful. He knows it’s a lot to ask to be a parent, especially to not one, but FIVE kids that are not yours by blood. So if you actively seek to have a close bond to them, it will make him so incredibly happy because he knows it’s not the natural course of action for everyone.

Will give you head, shoulder and foot massages after an especially excruciating day of work. His hands are skillful and he knows where to touch to make you moan to release the tension from your muscles.

Likes to lie his head in your lap after both of you had a long day of work. Yes, you may be the provider, but keeping a house clean and five kids under control isn’t an easy job either! So, he’ll seek peace laying his head on your thighs and closing his eyes while you tussle his hair and tell him about your day. Don’t expect more than a mumbled “Mm” or “I see” from time to time, but be sure that he’s listening.

And the Port Mafia? You’re in luck - since he was the lowest-ranking member, The Mafia, by which I mean Mori isn’t bothered that he left. He refused to kill anyways, he’s to no use to them him.

Of course, Oda will try to be absolutely sure there is no hidden reason for Mori to hinder his leave beforehand, or to resent him for it. The last thing he wants is to endanger you or the kids by leaving his job as a criminal.

If he ever meets a member of the PM in public, he'll act as if he doesn't know them. He may give them a polite nod if they make eye contact, but that’s about it. It’s not that he resents them, but he really wants to start a new life here that isn’t connected to killing and cruelty at all. If they approach him he'll be very polite, but try to keep the conversation short, even if they seem to have no ulterior motive.

Of course, there’s one member of the Port Mafia that marks the exception, by which I mean to say that you’ll have Osamu Dazai over for tea regularly. No, he won’t announce himself at all. The first time he appears at your apartment, you’re just finishing to unpack. He’ll tand at your doorstep all of a sudden to tell Oda that Mori already knows where he moved to. Oda will just nod as an acknowledgement. He expected as much. And then he’ll give you a questioning look. If you nod, he’ll officially asking his friend to stay for dinner. You’ll be having curry.

From then on, he’ll just drop by whenever. You may come back home from time to time to find dinner ready, the kids in bed and your husband and Dazai drinking. If you join them, you will have some truly joyful evenings spend together. You’re Oda’s chosen one, so Dazai is a bit more inclined to let you get close than he is with others. You may make a new friend in the process.

It doesn’t take a lot of time for the kids to start calling him Uncle Dazai. He’ll actually be Uncle Dazai before they ever call Oda Dad or you Mom/Dad. It will take them mere weeks to call him uncle, but months, maybe years to call the two of you Dad/Mom. It will happen eventually though, and the day it happens, I assure you that you will see Oda spill tears of happiness. He’ll be looking away, wiping his face with one hand and smiling. He never thought he would want this, but now he knows he does.

Back to Dazai! He’s reserved with the kids at first. As we know, he doesn’t feel all to comfortable around “childish behaviour”. But kids are like cats, the feel drawn to the one that’s most cautious. By which I mean to say that they are all over him. Literally. Oda will leave for five minutes and when he’s back at the living room the kids will have tackled a slightly unnerved Dazai on the floor. Sakura wants him to see the drawings she made, Katsumi, Kousuke and Yuu want to play, Shinji wants to ask him what's under his bandages. He’ll have no choice but to oblige and it goes surprisingly well. Oda may abuse him as a baby-sitter when he visits from then on.

Then suddenly, Dazai stops visiting altogether. You are worried, but Oda, for some reason, isn’t. Even more, whenever you ask him about it, you may catch him smiling to himself in a satisfied, proud way. No, Dazai didn’t tell him anything. If Oda would know, it would endanger all of you. But he knows. He knows that Dazai finally made his choice to leave the Port Mafia and needs to lay low now. And that’s okay.

It takes Dazai two years to come back, which will be just as sudden as him leaving. You’ll be astounded to see him a changed man at first sight. Oda will scold him for not sending any notice and then everything is normal again. And after some more years, he’ll start bringing along a scrawny kid with white hair.

A/N: Wow, this is the first post I put a "keep reading" link in because it's so long! That's kind of a milestone for me. ｡ﾟ(TヮT)ﾟ｡

Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this! Thank you for reading!

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reidgraygubler · 3 years

Text

Spoonful of Sugar (spencer reid/reader)

Title: spoonful of sugar

Request: yes! (a super fluffy spence x reader one shot in which she's sick with the flu, a high fever or something similiar, so he has to take care of her. Usually i'm not that super whiny and wouldn't request things like that buuut i'm in a desperate need for spence to take care of me while i'm ill and home alone.)

Couple: Spencer Reid/gen-neutral!reader

Category: fluff

Content Warning: spencer’s pov, anxiety about an ill partner, none that I can think of. If something does need to be tagged, please message me

Word Count: 1,638

Summary: Spencer stays home from work to take care of his partner, who’s sick with the flu

A/N: sorry this took so long to get posted. i forgot I had it written and it was just sitting in my drafts. it is a little on the shorter side... thank you all so much for the support! i really do appreciate it. check out my masterlist!

{***}{***}{***}

The person who usually slept beside me did not sleep last night. I only know that because whenever they tossed and turned, it’d wake me up. But also, they kept stealing all the blankets from me. Whenever I tried to take them back, they’d wake up and steal them again. Or they’d be suddenly up in a coughing fit. And then, they finally fell asleep around the time I had to get out of bed for work. Leaving me with another restless night of sleep. I was used to it at this point, but not because of them.

When I left the bedroom, I made sure to be as quiet as possible. I didn’t want to be the reason why they woke up for the day. Clearly something was on their mind and keeping them up. I also made sure they had all of the blankets on their body. While I did that, I sneakily rested my hand on their forehead, and the back of their neck, just to check their temperature.

They were on fire. I’d never felt someone as hot as that in a very long time. It would explain why they got no sleep and kept waking up, and stealing the blankets. They’d need to get medicine and fluids in them, and quickly. But I’ll do that when I’m finished getting ready. They just fell asleep and I’d rather them sleep off their fever.

So that’s what I did. I quickly got ready for work, doing all the necessary things I had to do. I wanted to make sure my person had everything they needed before I left for work.

Which meant a quick stop at the market down the street. The market had their favorite soup, juice, and snacks. If I was going to go into work today, I needed to make sure they had everything they needed before I left for the day. And if they wanted me to stay, I’d do that for them.

“Hey Emily, I’m going to be late to the office today,” I said into my phone as I grabbed a basket. The store had several people, just enough for me to be cautious of where I was going. And it pressured me to be even quicker inside.

“Oh! Of course! Is everything okay?” Emily asked, the concern in her tone sounding genuine. I sighed before nodding.

“Yeah, just... Just need to take care of someone who’s sick,” I explained as I grabbed a bottle of orange juice.

“Take all the time you need! We got everything covered here.”

“Thank you so much.”

“Of course, call me if you need anything!” She proclaimed before bidding farewell. I sighed deeply before pocketing my phone and headed towards the deli to get some soup. They always gave me chicken noodle, with the good thick egg noodles. Since they also enjoyed White Chicken Chill, I got that for them, too. Anything to make them feel better sooner.

Once I got both soups, enough juice for a small household, and plenty of healthy snacks, I made the trek back home. Whether they enjoyed the things I got them or not, I knew they’d enjoy the thought. Because that’s all that matters, right? The thought?

When I got home, I prepared the chicken noodle in a bowl, and grabbed a bottle of juice with electrolytes, and brought it to the bedroom. They were still asleep, however slightly stirring. Instead of just leaving right away, I waited a moment for them to wake up.

“My head is pounding,” they groaned as they brought a hand to rest on their forehead. “Like I drank a fifth of whiskey,” they added. I held back my chuckle and sat on the edge of the bed.

“You’re hot.”

“Thanks so are you,” they blew me a kiss. I rolled my eyes before shaking my head.

“You have a fever, Dear,” I corrected as I handed them the bottle of juice. “I got you soup, juice, and healthy snacks.”

“You’re too kind, Spencer,” they hummed as they struggled to open the bottle. I watched as they sighed and handed the bottle over to me. I smiled as I cracked the bottle open.

“I have to go in, but if you want me to stay I can.” I handed the bottle back to them. They smiled brightly before taking a big sip of the juice.

“No, no, you’re the breadmaker here. You’d be no use to me here.”

“I can help you,” I breathed out a laugh. They lazily smiled before shrugging. “I’m gonna get you medicine.”

“If you don’t come back with Day and Nyquil, don’t come back at all,” they teased. I laughed as I looked back at them.

“Eat your soup, I’m getting you medicine,” I repeated as I pointed at the bowl of chicken noodle on the nightstand. They glared at me before picking up the bowl. I was quick, grabbing the medicine they asked for and a bottle of Aleve.

“Do you need anything else?” I looked down at them as I placed the bottles on the nightstand. They shook their head as they looked back at me, watching as I sat back down beside them.

“I’m all good here.”

“I can stay if you need me to,” I whispered as I looked over at them. They looked away from the bowl of soup with wide eyes. “Surely Emily won’t care. Family first.”

“As much as I’d love for you to stay, Spence, they need you just as badly there,” my person slurred their words. I could only imagine just how congested their sinuses and how blocked their nasal passages were. Which would only cause a migraine. “Besides, I don’t want to get you sick. You’re a baby when you’re sick.” They smirked at me.

“Am not!” I exclaimed as I looked at them. They shrugged before rubbing the underside of their nose. Should have grabbed them tissues while I was at the store. “Seriously, I’ll stay.”

“Seriously, go to work.”

“If I didn’t know any better it sounds to me like you’re trying to get rid of me.”

“I am,” they mumbled as they blew softly onto their spoonful of soup. I rolled my eyes before standing up off the bed.

“Okay, okay, I’ll go.” I lifted my hands as a sign of surrender. They looked up at me with a soft smile. “Good to know you can get rid of me so easily.”

“I’ll call you if I need anything.” They placed the soup back on the nightstand before shifting down the bed.

“And I’ll let Emily know I’ll be on desk duty.”

“Spencer,” they warned.

“I’m going! I’m going! Gone! See! Gone!”

“Love you!”

“Love you, too!”

I should have stayed home.

{***}{***}{***}

Okay, maybe Spencer should have stayed home because… I really miss him. I thought I’d be fine if he went in, and I’d get by… But I really want him. God I’m never whiny and asking for things, and the only thing I want… I sent it away.

I could call him… He’d drop everything and come right over. But… He should work. There is a reason why I sent him to work. That was where he was most needed. What if I was wrong though? What if he was most needed here, with me? No, no he’s the brain of the BAU.

But it’d be really nice if he stayed home with me.

Yeah, I made a mistake sending him to work. I’ve never felt so clingy in my entire life. Damn my stupid clinginess.

Did he know I was thinking about him? I must’ve, because he was calling me. Probably just checking in on me. I could ask him to come home. Unless he’s in the middle of helping a case and can’t come home.

“How are you feeling?” Yep, just calling to see how I was doing. It was probably a good thing that he was calling me. He probably just knew I wasn’t feeling any better.

“Could be better,” I paused as I looked over at his side of the bed. It was made but a little tousled around because of my sleeping. “Kinda wish you stayed here,” I whispered, mostly to myself.

“Already on the way home,” he stated like it was no big deal.

“Really?” I asked, feeling a little bit of excitement in my tone. Surely it just sounded like I was stuffy to Spencer. He laughed.

“Finished early. And… Emily noticed I was too distracted thinking about you. I’m about halfway there, do you need anything?”

“You… To get here quickly and give me all the cuddles in the world,” I dramatically sighed as I curled in on my side. “But… Safely!” I quickly added.

“I will be there soon, Dear,” Spencer mused before chuckling lightly. “Do you need anything?”

“No, I should be okay.”

“I’ll be home soon."

“Okay, bye,” I whispered before hanging up. I tossed my phone into the empty space beside me before curling back onto my side. Now that I knew Spencer would be home any minute, maybe I could sleep. Or maybe I should stay awake and wait for him.

Whatever, it didn’t matter. I must have fallen asleep, because the next thing I knew, Spencer was crawling into bed beside me and I was slowly waking up.

“Shh, go back to sleep,” he whispered as he pulled the blanket back over me. Although it felt like I was on fire, the blanket felt safe over me. Or maybe that was Spencer’s arms wrapped around me that made me feel safe.

“No, no,” I mumbled as I moved as close as possible to him. Spencer laughed lightly before pressing his lips to my forehead. “Don’t leave me again,” I whispered into his chest.

“I’m not going anywhere.”

{***}{***}{***}

if you have any comments/questions about this part, let me know here! please consider reblogging or leaving a comment if you’re a part of the taglist. it’s so much work tagging everyone.

not able to tag: @isabellasimps

@thebluetint @mggsprettygirl @muffin-cup @misshale21 @spenciegoob @reidspoet @ash19871962 @babebenhardy @flipperpenguins @kuolonsyoja

@broken-stardust @beepbooptoop @ray-lia

#shadow writes stuff #masterlist #spencer reid #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid fan fic #criminal minds fan fic

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broomsticks · 2 years

Note

BROOMSTICKS MY LOVE! It was so hard to choose but I'm going with 9, 25, 28, and/or 32, with 25 and 28 absolutely being inspired by our conversation just now XD

from this fic writer ask game (no time limit on this, feel free to ask anytime!)

❤️❤️❤️ oooooo you picked some great ones!

9. Tag 3 fic writers you think are underrated/unknown in the fandom/fanfiction community.

oooooh so i don’t really quite know who’s unknown, but some new people i’ve loved following since the last time i posted shoutouts to hp/marauders/wolfstar & misc-fandom/pan-fandom blogs:

@leogichidaa! amazing regulus & black family meta (sirius and regulus and healing from enmeshment, the lost boys: sirius, percy, and BCJ) and fic

@tracingpatternswrites whose Sirius' first full moon in Azkaban fic murdered me

@everythingbutcoldfire -- lovely lovely valentine’s day aroace remus lupin fic, and excellent reblogs & thoughts on aroacespec stuff too

i refuse to stick to 3 haha it doesnt count if i rec people for things other than fic right???

@mkaugust writes wonderful poetry & also microfic may wolfstar!

@carlav-blogs so wholesome! those tattoos!!! the details are ENDLESS.

@remixloonylupin the tenderness. your style. oh my gosh. (pspspspss also writes incredible fic about transness and psychosis)

25. Do you listen to music as you write? If possible, link your writing playlist.

hmmmm some of the time, maybe half? i definitely listen to music a lot BEFORE i start writing, to get me into the mood/ clear my head sorta — it’s also happened before, once or twice, that i’m poking around spotify without the intention of writing and i get randomly bitten by the urge to fling out some words. not necessarily good words, but — whatever, we take those XD

28. How do you deal with writing pressure (ie: pressure to update, negative comments, deadlines, etc)?

uhhhh BADLY. (also, my writing pressure is pretty much all internal rather than externally imposed, if that matters!)

1) sometimes i try to push through the bad, and — sometimes it works, honestly. sometimes brain is just being a dumb and cuts out the tantrum after a while.

2) trying to get my head in the right space — so, music, and — that’s mostly why i have these lying around tbh: self care tag / encouragement / overcoming perfectionism

3) venting to understanding people!!! one of the most important things i’ve found (am still learning) is that so many people—literally even the most amazing ‘why are you not writing original fiction you could be making a killing’ / ‘you??? reading MY TRASH?? why do you even BOTHER honestly’ writers—can relate to these writing struggles! & not just the struggle, but also that indescribable desire to do it anyway. it’s weird and wonderful and literally the only reason i even dared to start let alone am still going (ish) hahaha

32. Copy and paste your top three favorite lines/jokes/sentences you’ve ever written. What fics do they come from?

billie believe me when i tell you i agonized over these for A G E S, seriously considered skipping the question, etc etcetcetc

from my andromeda halloween/yule drabble series, star of wonder:

The tree itself was still as green as ever. It would look just at home bare out in the biting cold, or all dressed up beside the roaring hearth fire. Unchanged, steadfast, evergreen. Just the same in the cozy Hufflepuff common room filled with the aroma of baking bread and the elegant Slytherin one with its enchanting music, in the Black family manor or in the Tonks’s small Muggle cottage.

the summary of my peter drabble, Resolution:

Since he was eleven, Peter’s New Year’s Resolution had always been the same: this year I will be braver.

the last sentence to my RL fest remadora, the grace unasked for:

And he learns that, even at the furthest ends of the earth, you're always sheltered under the same sky, watched over by the same moon.

especially because it was pointed out to me by a lovely commenter that this is apparently really similar to a poem that i may have come across before but certainly don’t consciously remember!

thank youuu for the ask!

#leftsidedown tag #ask game

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troquantary · 3 years

Text

Edward Cullen: That Boy Ain’t Right

So I was doing a reread of @therealvinelle 's collection of Twilight metas, as one does, and in "Edward, Denial, and a Human Girlfriend" she mentions that she doesn't believe Edward is sane. I thought, "ha, yeah, he's definitely not," and also, "but wait, what does that mean exactly, please say more about that." But since she's already inundated with asks, I've decided to use my own head-muscle and explore this idea. (TL;DR: I start out more or less organized, synthesize some points Vinelle has made across several posts (and have hopefully linked to them all where relevant but please tell me if not), touch a little on narcissism, then take a hard left into the negative effects of being a telepath.)

Just a couple things to note at the outset, though. Theses have been written already (probably) about Edward as an abuser. Edward being insane doesn't negate that at all; he's definitely an asshole and just...a disaster of a human being. (I find it more funny than anything, but YMMV.) I'm also going to try to avoid talking specifically about mental illness and how it relates (or doesn't relate) to abusive behavior -- that's territory I'm not really equipped to discuss, like at all. My starting point is "Edward has a deeply warped perception of reality," not "Edward has X disorder."

So: deeply warped perception of reality. The evidence? Goes behind a cut, because my one character trait is Verbose.

Vinelle provides a great example of it in the post linked above, which I'll just quote because she does words good: "[Edward] keeps acting like his romance with Bella is a romantic tragedy, and all the cast of Twilight are actors on a stage making it as sublime as possible." Edward's the one to pursue Bella, but he does so with the full belief, from the very beginning, that it will never last; Bella will "outgrow" him, go on her human way, and he can spend the rest of eternity brooding magnificently over his too-short romantic bliss. [Insert premature ejaculation joke.] Turning her is never an option, even though Alice, Noted Psychic, says that romancing Bella will either end with her dead (exsanguinated) or dead (vampire).

This framing, where he's a dark anti-hero in love with -- but never tainting! -- the pure maiden and eventually leaving her in a grand, tragic sacrifice to preserve her soul? It's fucking bonkers. Bella isn't a person to him in this scenario. As Vinelle points out, Bella's never really a person to him at all; he falls in love with his own mental construct, cherry-picking from what he observes of her behavior and her responses to his 20 (thousand) Questions to convince himself that she is the ideal woman.

Bella's not the only one who gets the projection/cardboard-cutout treatment. Edward sees everything and everyone through a highly particular, personalized lens. He filters his entire reality, which we all do to an extent, but the thing with Edward is that he starts with his conclusions and then only pays attention to the evidence that supports those conclusions. Often that evidence consists of what he admits in New Moon are only "surface" thoughts -- but recognizing that limitation doesn't keep him from taking those thoughts as representative of what people are. Edward then becomes absolutely convinced by his own "reasoning" and won't be swayed from what he has decided is Objectively True. It's obvious with Bella; it's also painfully obvious with Rosalie. (Vinelle explains this and brings up Edward's raging Madonna/Whore complex in the same post, so refer to that again -- she's right.)

He also catastrophizes. Everything. Bella's just vibing in her room, rereading Wuthering Heights for the 87th time? She's gonna be hit by a meteor, better sneak into her room while she sleeps. Bella's going to the beach with the filthy mundanes their human classmates? She's gonna fall in the ocean. Jasper's cannibal pals are stopping by for a visit, but know not to hunt in the area? DISASTER, DEFCON 1, ALSO FUCK YOU JASPER FOR EVEN EXISTING IN MY AND BELLA'S SPHERE YOU UNSPEAKABLE BURDEN. Edward must believe that Bella is vulnerable and in near-constant peril, to support the reality he has created in which he is the villain turned protector and maybe?? hero??? (!!!) for his beloved. So when the actual, James-shaped danger arrives, he goes berserk, snarling and flipping his shit and generally not helping the situation. His fantasy demands that Bella remain human, so instead of doing the very thing Alice, Noted Psychic, assures him will neutralize the threat (and not just a threat to Bella, either, but to Bella's family and any other human James might decide to include in the "game"), he vetoes it immediately, no discussion. Bella Must Not Turn, and he sticks to those guns despite James nearly reducing her to ground beef, despite leaving Bella catatonic with depression (but human! success!) in New Moon, despite Aro's order and his family's vote and, let's not forget, Bella's clearly and repeatedly stated desire to be a vampire. It's going to happen. But he doesn't accept it until Renesmee busts out of Bella like the Kool-Aid man and the poor girl's heart finally, unequivocally stops.

Sane people don't behave this way. I don't want to slap labels on Edward, but I can't help but note that he comes across as highly narcissistic. He's the only real person in his universe, the lone player among us NPCs. That probably has a lot to do with him being frozen in the mindset and maturity of a seventeen-year-old boy, but I think it's also just...him, on some fundamental level. His failure to connect with others and recognize them as full, independent beings with their own wants and priorities isn't like Bella's failure -- she's badly depressed. Edward is...something else, and I get the sense that his sanity has been steadily deteriorating over time. And a cursory google of narcissistic traits turns up some familiar-looking stuff. He's self-loathing, yes, but also grandiose; he hates himself for the monster he is (and hates most vampires besides Esme and Carlisle for their monstrosity, too) but still feels superior to humans, to the extent that he felt entitled to human blood and resented Carlisle for depriving him of his "proper" diet. He eventually returns to Carlisle, but he's far from content -- the beginning of Midnight Sun finds him in a state of ennui, bored and dismissive of (if not outright disgusted by) everyone around him, that has apparently persisted for years and years. He doesn't play the piano, he doesn't compose, he doesn't enjoy anything...at least until Bella comes along and then he becomes obsessed to a disturbing degree with her and his new, romantic tragedy spin on reality.

[Next-day edit: I’m not sure where else to fit this in, but the way Edward casually contemplates violence against people who have, at best, mildly annoyed him is...chilling. I have a hard time writing off his strategizing how to murder the entire Biology class as a result of bloodlust -- it’s so calculated, nothing like the blackout state of thirst Emmett describes when he encountered his own “singer,” and that is probably the default for when a vampire is extremely thirsty. But even ignoring the Biology class incident, Edward still does things like consider, with disturbing frequency, how he might grievously injure or kill Mike Newton, all because...Edward considers him his romantic rival (despite Bella barely giving the kid the time of day). He thinks about slapping Mike through a wall, which might be an amusing slapstick image, except as a vampire Edward’s actually capable of turning this boy’s skeleton to a fine powder. So it’s, y’know, kind of sick when you think about it.

But even worse than that, when Bella tells Edward about how she flirted with Jacob to get at that sweet, sweet vampire lore, Edward chuckles and then, after dropping Bella home, flippantly observes that now that the treaty’s broken, why not genocide? I’m not even kidding, it’s right there in Midnight Sun; he seriously thinks about the fact that he’d be technically justified now in wiping out the entire tribe because a teenager tried to impress a girl with a spooky story. That is fucked. Remember, Edward was there with Carlisle when the treaty was first established. He knows how remarkable it is that they even came to a truce in the first place, that it was only ever possible because Carlisle is...well, Carlisle, and that it marks a pretty significant moment in supernatural history. He doesn’t care; he doesn’t respect it, or he’d never think something like “Ha ha, if I went and killed them all, I wouldn’t even be wrong. I mean, I won’t do it, but I’m just saying, I wouldn’t be wrong.”

Again: not the thought process or behavior of a sane person. (Or a person that respects life in general -- sorry Carlisle, big L.)]

Finally, whether he's a narcissist or not, I think the fact that Edward has constant, unavoidable access to everyone's thoughts is a powerful contributing factor to his instability. He can tune out the mental noise to an extent, but he can't stop it -- so he comes to rely on it like another sense. This causes issues with disconnect and lack of empathy, of course, but there's another facet to this shit diamond: he's basically experiencing a ceaseless flow of intrusive thoughts. His narration in Midnight Sun suggests that he "hears" the words people think, can "see" what they visualize in their mind's eye, and can sense the emotional "tone" and intensity of their thoughts. Therefore, perceiving Jasper's thirst through his thoughts makes Edward more aware of his own, "doubling" the discomfort. This would be a lot to deal with even from just his immediate coven members, but Edward gets all of this pouring into his head like a firehose on a day-to-day basis because the Cullens live right alongside humans. I know Meyerpires have galaxy brains or whatever, but that's a ton to process.

Besides the compounding effect on his own thirst when he "feels" the thirst of others, Meyer never suggests that Edward has difficulty separating his own thoughts from other people's; even when he was newly turned, he recognized Carlisle's "voice" in his head as Carlisle's. That would create a whole different host of issues around identity, but it looks like Edward's escaped that particular torment. However, I can easily imagine that what he does experience is just shy of unbearable nonetheless, with an eroding effect on his sanity over decades. He can't sleep to escape it; he's on a dishwater diet and probably (like the rest of his family) experiencing a perpetual, low-grade physical discomfort due to his thirst never being fully satisfied; and he's around far more people than is the norm for vampires -- even discounting all the humans, his own coven is unusually large -- meaning more noise.

Honestly, it would be weirder if he were all there, considering.

And even though I feel like I lost a sense of structure around where I started ranting about telepathy, I've written like 1.5k words about Edward fucking Cullen and I think that's enough for one post.

#twilight #twilight renaissance #twilight meta #edward cullen #i stared too long and the twilight abyss gazed back #long post #major credit due to therealvinelle for having basically all the ideas already #theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin too since they agree and build off each other's metas a lot #idk how people who write meta can just crank these posts out i've been here for two hours #edited to add stuff i forgot to mention about edward's disproportionately violent fantasies

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