#i’ve watched the video nearly six times consecutively it’s so good

[thetorturedbolter]

unironically, sister daniel saying “baby, i am heaven” in the new baking video completely rewired my brain and i love it

[obeiii-mee]

Hello! Can I request an hc about a shady MC who's not phase by anything in Devildom with the brothers (and Diavolo?? he deserves love!!!)? Like, when Luci's like "i CaN KiLL yOu hUmAN", MC's reaction was like "Oh... congratulations then." i need more shady mc who may or may not be planning to ruin your life😂😂 Thanks and take care!!❤❤

The Brothers + Diavolo with an MC that is not phased by DevilDom

__________________________________

Pls I need more shady MC, they would not take any shit from the brothers. Put any Gen Z-er with these guys and you’ve got yourself a suicidal and reckless human exchange student.

They wouldn’t know what to do with one of those ahaksbakanhaka you’re right, Diavolo deserves all the love >:(((((((

You better take care too >:( thanks for sending me this big brain request. I’ve been preoccupied with other projects so I took a while to get to this ask. Hope you’re doing OK💙

____________________________________

Lucifer:

-He thought having a human exchange student was going to be bad enough as it is but this…..this was so much worse than he could have ever imagined

-The moment you arrived, he already knew you were going to be a problem child and a persistent one at that

-Literally the first thing you asked him was : “Why do you look like an off-brand Levi Ackerman?”

-And he was left there, astounded, confused and offended because he had no idea who you were talking about (cuz at that point you hadn’t met the third eldest) and the tone you had was, frankly, pissing him off

-You kept wondering off on your own????? Without looking like you gave a shit even though you almost walked into a butcher’s shop that specialises in human meat???? Tf MC?

-Also really irritated that you couldn’t be intimidated and that DevilDom was like a playground to you, for some reason? Like, MC get out of the fiery pits of eternally tormented souls- this is Hell, not the McDonald’s ball pit ffs

-Things did not improve for him lmao, by the end of the first week he had already ripped out a good chunk of his hair because of you

-“MC, you should know by now provoking demons like this for no good reason is only going to make life harder for you. Keep this up and you’ll get killed in no time because of your behaviour.”

-“Great, can we have a hip-hip and a hurray?”

-In the span of one day, he’s had to come to your rescue six times (approximately) because you’re too nonchalant about your surroundings around literal creatures of hell

-He doesn’t have enough coffee or will to live for this bs

-“Lucifer, I found this dead plant and brought it here because it reminded me of you.”

-“…..sigh. Why? Why does it remind you of me?”

-“Because it’s cold and unresponsive.”

-He made the consecutive decision to ignore you

-(low-key kept the plant tho)

-Honestly, you get on his nerves a lot and he has definitely contemplated killing you in the past but at the end of the day he really can’t bring himself to do it

-We both know he tried a few times lmfao

-“I will tear you limb from limb, human-“

-“Can I finish my tea first.”

-“You…wait, what?”

-“You’re crazy if you think I’m letting this tea get cold. Try to kill time before I’m done and I’ll smash this cup against your head.”

-If you try hard enough, you might even elicit a laugh out of him, especially if your shadiness is directed at any of his brother which results in him patting your head affectionately

-Nowadays he’s just concerned because you seemed to have made an alliance of sorts with Belphagour and Satan and that’s not a good sign

-For his sake, if not yours, at least try to survive the year without getting chomped on by a random demon please

-He’s too stubborn to let you die just because you’re unbothered by everything so cut him some slack and help out damn it

Mammon:

-“Oi Lucifer, how come I’m stuck babysittin’ this stupid human?”

-“And how come I’m stuck with this asshole for a tour guide, with his fake ass designer shoes and no brand sunglasses. That’s a lot of smack talk from someone with crow shit stains covering the back of his jacket. Also, did you stick your hair in a bucket of mayonnaise?”

-……..

-He was so offended lol

-Normally, humans like you cower in fear whenever demons are as much as mentioned because of the whole “I can eat you whole” thing

-And here you are; insulting the Avatar of Greed and one of the princes of Hell himself just because you didn’t like his attitude

-Don’t worry tho, he warms up to you in less than a fucking month simply because you still come to his rescue whenever his brothers start insulting him and wow, look at that, his heart is now combusting on the floor

-“Y’all have no right to criticise Mammon when he has the most self control out of all of you.”

-“Since when does Mammon have any self control? He can’t keep himself from nicking anything that looks shiny.”

-“Motherfucker, I don’t see him trying to choke me to death, respectfully pls shut the fuck up. I don’t want to say I have favourites but if I do, it’s definitely him.”

-While Mammon’s in the background, with hearts instead of pupils in his eyes like ❤️👄❤️

-He doesn’t even mind running around after you anymore (will still complain about it though because your ass is in constant danger and he’s had enough)

-Honestly, you keep starting shit with random demons, some of which are quite powerful mind you, and you don’t back down even when he’s there to step in

-Would low key love to watch you fight one of your classmates at RAD and organise a ticket selling booth for the event but Lucifer will hang him a new one if he does

-So for now, he sticks to baring his teeth at the aggravator in question and you’re there, giving the same demon the middle finger

-The way you sometimes match his energy gets him so hyped up lmao

-“Mammon, did you steal Levi’s money again?”

-“T’s none of her business human. Now go away, shoo!”

-“Bitch, don’t ‘shoo’ me, I ain’t a bird. Now tell me, did you?”

-“…..Why do you ask?”

-“Because a new flavour of instant noodles just got announced, called ‘Super Hell-Sauce Flavour’ and I thought you might be more interested in that than wasting the money on gambling.”

-“….ok but only if you come with me to buy some.”

-This…this is true love right here

Levi:

-Oh no, now there’s two of you

-Why do I feel like his energy would match MC’s almost immediately? Maybe it’s because he spends too much time in his room on the internet like the rest of us do

-“What do you want, you stupid normie?”

-“300…..”

-“….300 what?”

-“300 mangas collected, thousands of episodes of anime watched, over 60 character figurines, plushies, body pillows, merchandise and several posters only to be called a fucking normie by a demon weeb that’s only known me for 10 minutes.”

-Boom, instant friendship

-He becomes attached to you almost immediately and now that he knows how unphased you are by DevilDom, he is seriously worried

-Hell, you’re making him consider going outside his room just to make sure you’re alive and not dead in a ditch somewhere because you decided to get on someone’s nerves that particular day

-Even during the quiz thing, when he almost kills you, you’re just sitting on the floor and awkwardly watching him as he throws a sissy fit

-Levi feels sort of conflicted with you because one one hand you’re good company and he loves having you around, you’re his Henry after all

-But on the other hand, you put yourself in so much danger it makes him paranoid so often to the point where he wants to keep you locked in his room and wrapped in bubble wrap

-Nearly had a heart attack when you almost walked right into a pit of lava like MC???? This isn’t one of his video games???? You’re not gonna respawn if you die????

-Besides all that, he gets a bit jealous of you confidence and your ability to just do whatever without fearing death or consequence

-“MC, how do you do it?”

-“Do what?”

-“How do you go about your life without a care in the world?”

-“I guess I’ll tell you my secret Levi. I’m not like other humans that’s why, I’m just so unique I do things differently.”

-“You sound like a pick me-“

-As long as you’re OK and not injured because of your carelessness, he’s indifferent about your behaviour and will even applaud you for your bravery when it comes to this sort of thing

-“lmao the human exchange student just dumped Solomon’s cooking in the trash while looking him dead in the eye 💀💀💀”

Satan:

-Your attitude towards DevilDom and demons in general kept him entertained, if nothing else

-You rarely seemed to consider how much of a threat that place really is and usually you were just running around, completely ignoring Lucifer’s rules and doing your own thing

-Which, you know, he’s all about

-I can’t say there were no incidents between the two of you

-With his short temper and your tendency to say things without caring about the consequences, there were definitely moments when he might’ve snapped on you

-“MC for goodness sake, what happened to my room?”

-“What do you mean?”

-“It’s an absolute mess! I just told you to bring me my spells and curses book, not mow through everything!”

-“It’s not my fault this place is built like a fucking labyrinth. You should be grateful I went to get it for you at all, I almost tripped and died several times on my way back. Also, you should get a new ladder for your shelves. It did the broken.”

-“MC….”

-“Yes?”

-“You are so lucky I love you.”

-Other than the fact his anger takes over him when things like these happen, he not so subtly encourages you to keep going because seeing Lucifer scowl at your antics gets him wheezing his lungs out

-I like to think Satan would be very impressed, even in the beginning, at the amount of nonchalance you can radiate at times

-I mean, you sure as hell don’t see it often and he loves how unpredictable you are more often than not

-If anything, he should probably thank you-idk how, but his patience has increased significantly every since you got here and he appreciates having some more control of his emotions

-“I’m gonna go put oil in Lucifer’s shoes.”

-“Do you have a death wish?”

-“Satan, I am old enough to make my own decisions and I concluded that this action is necessary.”

-“Necessary for what?”

-“Raising everyone’s morale! All of you seemed to feel down lately so I thought this would be fun for everybody!”

-“Except Lucifer, right?”

-“Except Lucifer. He grounded me from my D.D.D like I’m a fucking teenager who needs to be supervised-pssshht, I’m the most responsible one here.”

-“Yes clearly.”

-“Goodbye dear Satan, I may die today. But it’s for the greater good! (Dramatic exit with sound effects)”

-“WAIT MC!”

-“(pops head back in) yes?”

-“May I offer you my assistance?”

-You’re basically taking turns pranking his brothers and it’s hilarious

-Satan is not too worried about your well being simply because he knows his siblings and him are always going to be nearby to save you if you pull something stupid again

-Even so, he checks up on you throughout the day; just to make sure

-“Where were you?”

-“Running from a bunch of demons. Who wanted to go munchy crunchy on me, I assume.”

-“……”

-“Either that or people here are a lot friendlier than originally expected.”

-You can be such a handful and it really tests him, especially when he’s angry enough to begin with

-But despite your amazing talent at either getting completely lost around Hell, purposely walking into a prohibited place just because you felt like it or riling up others with how blunt you are, he still cares about you deeply

-You may be a pain the ass, but you’re his pain in the ass <3

Asmo:

-He should’ve known something was up with this particular human when you stood there, completely calm and collected, while Beel salivated at the thought of eating you on your first day

-Asmo just brushed it off for a while but it kept happening???

-The first time Lucifer ever told you off, you really went and said “Or what? Are you going to eat me? If so, you can go ahead and start with-“

-He came to your rescue and covered your mouth before you got to finish and before Lucifer unleashed his wrath on to everyone in that house

-“OOPSIE! I think MC has been spending too much time with me. Sorry Lucifer, we gotta run now! We have a party to attend, don’t we MC darling?”

-“You mean the one hosted by the guy that tried to kill me because I shoved into him on the hallway at school and then proceeded to tell him to go fuck himself right back into whatever hell hole he was born in before you came and charmed our way out of it?”

-“Yes.”

-“Ah OK. “

-You’re tiring for sure but you’re not exactly unlikeable

-You have a certain charm hanging about you that Asmo loves

-“I almost died like…30 minutes ago.”

-“WAIT WHAT?? WHY?? WHAT HAPPENED-MC ARE YOU OK???”

-“Yeah, I almost drank some poison today because someone told me it was water. It smelt off though so I didn’t.”

-“….”

-“Anyway, I got you this bracelet on my way home.”

-He really does wish you would take things a bit more seriously

-This is your life on the line, you know? What would he do if you died?

-“MC, you’re not immortal, you can die so much more easily than I can, you know that right???”

-“I don’t care.”

-“Well I do! And you should too….”

-A lot of people don’t see past his vanity tbh, because he can be such a caring person towards the people he loves

-The amount of videos he has of you appearing to be completely calm while pure chaos is descending in the background is pretty impressive

-Every time he uses his charm on you to try and get you to commit his sin, it just doesn’t work???? For some reason???? And even if it’s just with simple, innocent affection for now, he is determined to tempt you into it

-“MC~gimme a hug!”

-“But that’s social interaction and I don’t support it- do you have a charger for my D.D.D by any chance?

-Or at least die trying to ig

-Asmo loves having you around but you’re giving him wrinkles and that’s not okay >:(

Beel:

-The moment he realised how carefree you actually were, he sort of started checking up with you quite frequently throughout the day

-It’s his way of protecting you but if he could, he would follow you around all the time

-Becomes your body guard because you may not care enough about your safety but he certainly does so get ready to be carried everywhere

-You will not get hurt nor will anyone mess with you if he has a say in it and let me tell you, he does

-Thing is, his brothers mostly know him for being slightly dense in some aspects of day to day life

-He’s not perceptive of things that don’t involve food or his loved ones

-And because you most definitely are a loved one of his, he does notice how careless you are really often

-And it scares, rather worries, him because DevilDom is an incredibly dangerous place-even with all the precautions they had taken when you came

-“MC get down, you could fall.”

-“But Beel, look-I’m finally taller than everyone else! Taller than you even! Hey, should I do a backflip?”

-He has no idea why you thought jumping from 60 meter high cliff into a small river of squashed demon blood was a good idea but he wasn’t going to risk anything just because you felt like showing off your diving skills

-Proceeds to carry you away, completely unfazed

-In this case, I feel like Beel is not someone who gets bothered by the horrible things happening around there either

-As long as he has food and his family is safe and happy then he’s also happy, as mentioned above

-But he knows he’s alright with DevilDom because he’s been living here for centuries now

-A bit curious as to why you’re so unbothered

-And even more curious as to why you weren’t terrified of him transforming in his demon form after he lost control when he found out you ate his pudding

-Or more like Mammon did and pushed the blame on you

-“YOU. ATE. MY. PUDDING!”

-“Beel I love you but if you did not just see Mammon shoving the damn container in my mouth two seconds prior to this, then you might need glasses.”

-He apologised to you later for it but even so, you didn’t seem to mind like at all and he didn’t really understand why

-Unless you end up explaining why exactly you feel so indifferent about your life being in potential danger, he won’t really pry

-But now he has even more reason to follow you around like a lost puppy

-Since it’s clear you don’t really care about protecting yourself

-So now it’s his job to do it

-MC protection squad? Mostly Beel and Mammon

-ahhh he cute

Belphie:

-Oh

-You piss him off so much

-He’s trying to have his moment, you know?

-Finally getting that glimmer of satisfaction after killing a human as a way to avenge his sister’s death

-Trying his hardest to make it as miserable as possible because he has so much rage in him, he needs you to suffer

-“Harder Daddy-“

-“Oh fuck off.”

-Nah but for real, what the fuck MC

-Why does he even bother, he feels like he should be sleeping instead of dealing with your bullshit

-Even afterwards, when your future self shows up and he tries to kill you again, you look more thoughtful than irritated???

-Lucifer and Beel are literally holding him back from doing another Chocky on you and you’re standing there, looking at him with your eyebrows raised

-“Hey Belphie, I have a quick question. I know you’re trying to kill me and everything but do you like the colour blue?”

-“HUH??!?!”

-“It’s a simple yes or no question Belphie. Do. You. Like. Blue?”

-“WHAT DOES IT MATTER???!!!”

-“BELPHAGOUR, AVATAR OF SLOTH-YES OR NO, JUST FUCKING ANSWER!”

-“YES! FUCK YOU!”

-“Ah ok thanks. I like blue too :)”

-????????????

-Pls he felt like sticking his foot down your throat

-As of late, he’s kind of glad he didn’t manage to scare you away that day and that he didn’t traumatise you or something

-At the time, he was mad because he didn’t understand why you weren’t scared but now he just wants to make it up to you

-“You didn’t deserve any of that. I’m sorry MC, I won’t blame you if you decide to stay away from me now.”

-“Stfu dipshit, what’s gotten you so depressed? Did you have another fight with Beel? I told you not to eat the last slice of cake.”

-“Rude ass, I was trying to apologise for my past mistakes-let me repent will you?”

-“Said no demon ever. Now let’s go hang out you emo bitch.”

-Y’all vibe together on a spiritual level once that shit gets sorted out

-But he’s kinda scared you might pull out a knife on him ngl

-Obviously, you’re still annoying as fuck with that indifferent attitude of yours but he can live with it

-He appreciates the fact that you’re not scared of him, even after what he’s done

Diavolo:

-Ah yes, the future King of DevilDom himself

-He’s very enthusiastic about the idea of you having fun this year…..and to keep you alive….

-He, of course, expected a range of reactions from you when he first summoned you here

-None of which were “Ok but could you not have given me a heads up? Before the whole teleportation thing? I face-planted your onto marvellously polished the floor and now I think I lost even more brain cells than before.”

-He felt so bad gagajajahahwgehhsb

-He apologised for bringing you out here without any warning like that and then proceeded to introduce you to everyone

-Diavolo is actually kind of relieved to see you’re handling everything pretty well

-He thought that maybe DevilDom was too much for a human to deal with

-Meeting Barbatos also went incredibly smooth

-“Barbatos? The one that cleans the floors right? Big fan of your work, I could eat off the floor of the main hall.”

-He’s so glad to see you getting along with everyone and not getting intimidated by the brothers

-It gets him excited thinking about how the exchange program is gonna work and all three realms will be united

-But he’s not stupid so don’t think he’ll allow you to stumble around, getting up to all sorts of mischief

-He always has someone watching you because he would hate to see you die, despite being pretty fond of your carefree attitude

-“MC, please be careful. Most demons here aren’t all that nice.”

-“Aye aye Captain.”

-He fears that many demons would take your indifference as a challenge and try to assert dominance or something by kidnapping you

-As far as creatures of hell go, they love installing fear in people

-So he always keeps an extra eye open for you

-And he’ll be there to help you if something goes wrong

-But other than that, he’s pretty chill as well and he finds you so hilarious, it’s been a while since he’s seen someone as eccentric and dramatic as Mammon and Asmo

-Idk what else to add here, Diavolo is very accepting and as long as you don’t get hurt, he’s glad you can get used to your new surroundings so easily

———————————-

Al~

[19red]

under the cut, mostly the product of yesterday sprint: about 2k of 1988 filth -  inspired by: that one close up gif of Jonny’s beefy thighs & my inability to concentrate on the stuff I should actually be writing

*

“Oh my god,” Jonny coos.

It’s a nice lazy morning, both of them lounging in bed half-naked. Patrick might be still more asleep than not, so he falls for it like a fucking amateur. “What?” he asks and is consequentially cursed to suffer through five consecutive videos of NHL players doing bodyweight squats while holding their dogs before the inevitable happens.

“See,” Jonny starts.

“No way.”

“That’s why we should get a puppy.”

Patrick pinches the bridge of his nose. “Zero fucking chance, dude.”

“It’d be a great addition to our leg day workout, look,” Jonny says, shoving the phone right at Patrick’s face. Patrick wrestles it out of his grip and chucks it at the foot of the bed, then since he’s still holding Jonny by the wrists, uses his hand to enumerate. Thumb: “Dogs are all slobbery and unsanitary.”

Pointer: “They leave their fucking fur everywhere.”

Middle: “They’re like, bottomless pits of need that smell like rotten lake water.”

Ring: “They have no respect of  what’s holy so they bark your head off at six in the morning. Don’t fucking front, dude, you’d kill the thing in like two days.”

Pinky: “In conclusion: no, thank you.”

Jonny makes an affronted face. “I would not.”

Patrick rolls his eyes, lacing their fingers together. “You say that now but I can already imagine the PR nightmare.”

“Fuck you,” Jonny wields their joined hands and slaps Patrick’s chest.  

“Yeah,” Patrick says. Then, struck by sudden genius, “Yeah. You want a leg workout?”

“I want a dog.”

“No,” he bites hard on his smirk, feeling his lips growing warm with the sting, knowing they’re turning pink and swollen. “You want a leg workout. I’ll be generous.”

“What?” Jonny’s brows knit in confusion even as his spellbound gaze trails to Patrick’s mouth.  His neck already looks licked by fire. He is so fucking easy, so fucking hot. Patrick wants to climb him.

Instead, he ducks his head so he can brush his next words on Jonny’s knuckles while he leers up at him through his lashes: “You can use me.”

“What?” Jonny says again, making Patrick dizzy just by looking back, dark eyes turning three shades deeper.

“Up against the wall,” Patrick says, disentangling their fingers and baring his throat so he can hold Jonny’s palm against it, so he can watch Jonny’s focus narrow to include nothing past Patrick and his wild thrashing heart, thumping wilder with every breath. “I mean, if you can take me.”

Jonny growls, “Of course I can fucking take you,” and Patrick’s suddenly flat on his back, legs held wide by the breadth  of Jonny’s strong thighs. The hand on his throat squeezes for a second, then climbs to tug on his curls, leaving Jonny’s biting mouth in its place.

“I don’t know, dude,” Patrick arches up, inviting more, already panting.  “You sure?”

“You really want it?” Jonny asks. His rough monotone washes right over Patrick’s ear and drips in shivers across his whole body, making his toes curl, the hair on his nape stand. Through the layers of their underwear, Jonny grinds his dick into Patrick’s and says, “I’m gonna wreck you if you let me.”

“Yeah,” Patrick nods, hips bucking up, needing Jonny close and now and closer still.

“Yeah,” Jonny echos, sneaking an arm between Patrick and the mattress to grab a handful of his ass. “You’re gonna take me so deep, baby. Pass me the lube. Want you nice and sloppy.”

He sinks his teeth below the curve of Patrick’s jaw one last time before sitting back on his haunches to allow Patrick the space to contort his upper body toward the bedside table. While Patrick’s reaching for the lube, Jonny scoops him up by a thigh and uses the grip to untwists him at the waist, flipping him over to his belly. Hooks his fingers in the elastic of Patrick’s boxers and pulls them down just enough to access Patrick’s bare ass, pawing the cheeks apart to reveal his tender little hole. Patrick feels himself twitch at the whisper of cold air, the sudden exposure, the manhandling.

“Look at you,” Jonny says, circling the rim with a thumb, almost pushing in but not yet, waiting for Patrick to unfurl hungrily under his pad before denying him. “You’re still so fucking loose.”

“Jonny,” Patrick whines, writhing against the sheets, trying to spread his legs but finding them hampered by the clutch of his boxers.

Jonny holds him still, one hand pressing on the small of his back, the other biting into the meat of his ass to keep his hole on display. “Jonny,” Patrick whines again-- and Jonny spits. Patrick feels the slow dribble of saliva trickle inside and past his entrance, tease over his taint at a maddening pace. Jonny is looking, Patrick can feel that too. “Jonny, I’m going to die.”

“Okay, okay.” Jonny huffs in amusement. He bends down to bite Patrick’s cheeks hard enough to make him yelp, rubbing his stubble over the tender flesh before soothing the burn with a kiss. “That’s a bit melodramatic, though, don’t you think?” he asks, pulling away.

“No,” Patrick says, groping blindly for the lube and throwing the bottle over his shoulder, almost catching Jonny square in the face. It’s important Jonny doesn’t get sidetracked. Patrick got fucked good just a couple of hours ago, he doesn’t need a slow teasing prep. He’s ready for hard and fast and up against the wall, ready for Jonny to use him and fill him up again, for all that to happen right about now. Patrick’s dick jerks at the thought.

“Should I stop and call a doctor?” Jonny asks.  Patrick finally hears the click of the lube being uncapped.

“Dude, I’ll kill you. I’m being serious,” he threatens, just to be sure.

Jonny squirts  the lube directly onto his crack, without even bothering to warm it up. Patrick’s hole flutters – half from the cold, half from the anticipation. “Fucking obscene,” Jonny mutters, sweeping his thumb over it, catching  the slick oozing toward Patrick’s balls and swiping it back up, feeding it inside and drawing out almost immediately. Patrick clenches hard around nothing. “You’re so fucking desperate,” Jonny says, thrusting back in abruptly with two thick fingers. The stretch leaves Patrick breathless for a few seconds, a little high-pitched mewling seeping from the back of his throat.

“Yeah,” he pants, pushing his overheated face into the pillow and his hips back into the intrusion, struggling against the constraint of his boxers as he tries to force his legs apart to suck Jonny in deeper. “And what about it?”

“I fucking love it,” Jonny mumbles, too absorbed by his ministration to help out while Patrick tries to wriggle free from his underwear. When he is halfway through, Jonny twists his fingers out and fucks them back in, hard, again and again, until all Patrick can do is squirm in place and take it. “Love it so much, baby,” Jonny says, slowing down. He bows forward to nuzzle the damp curls at the base of Patrick’s skull, trailing kisses over his nape, the side of his neck, just below his ear. “Love you,” he says, rolling his fingers inside Patrick and his bare dick over the back of his thigh. He must have shucked his briefs at some point.

“Come on, I’m ready,” Patrick takes the respite to kick his boxers all the way to his ankles and finally spread his legs, push up to his knees. Jonny lets him.

“Are you?” he asks, wrapping his arms around Patrick’s chest and pulling him up until he’s sitting over Jonny’s thighs, Jonny’s hard dick nestled between his cheeks, its solid pressure almost making up for the sudden emptiness in his hole.

“Dude,” Patrick grumbles, both of Jonny’s hands wandering over his torso, one stopping to tweak his nipples, the other smoothing downward. “Dude I am, I’m ready. You have to.”

“I’m going to, I promise. Just let me look a little. You’re so fucking pretty.”

Patrick grinds his ass down on Jonny’s lap and whimpers, lust and frustration turning him non-verbal.

“Prettiest dick I’ve ever seen,” Jonny hums, thumbing over the beads of pre-come blooming from the pink head of Patrick’s dick, before closing his fingers around the throbbing shaft. “Fits so nicely in my fist. You were made just for me, weren’t you, baby?”

Jonny runs his nose along the line of Patrick’s shoulder, breath warm and ticklish over Patrick’s skin, pebbling it up, and while that’s hot and all that, Patrick is already very horny, he’s ready for the main dish.

“Just for you, whatever, yes,” he says, tossing and twisting until he straddling Jonny face to face. “Right now, just for you.”

“Okay, okay, baby. Make me nice and slick so I can fuck you.”

While Patrick fumbles for the lube, Jonny reaches around to knead his ass, teasing his rim, dipping in the tip of each index, pulling apart just slightly-- enough to be distracting, to make Patrick crazier.

“I’m going to die. For real, I am,” Patrick whines, gliding his greased palm along the impressive length of Jonny’s erection, twisting his wrist a little on every upstroke. Jonny huffs something half-way between a laugh and a groan, before capturing Patrick’s mouth in a messy kiss.

“Such good hands, baby. Feels like heaven.”

“If you try coming--” Patrick’s threat splinters in a surprised exhale as Jonny stands, Patrick gathered in his arms.

“You’re so demanding,” he says into Patrick’s collar bone, nipping lightly at it. “Seems like you haven’t been fucked in a year.”

Patrick loops his arms around Jonny’s neck and his legs around Jonny’s hips, a swooping in his stomach at being carried, at feeling the strength of Jonny’s body shift and work, at knowing him steady and solid. In two long strides, Jonny has him up against the wall. Says, “Hold on tight,” and then he’s pinning Patrick in place one armed while he lines himself up to Patrick’s hole. Patrick gasps as the blunt head of Jonny’s dick breeches him, stops barely past his rim, right where the stretch is most unbearable – almost, almost, not nearly deep enough.

Jonny is moving carefully, rearranging their position so that Patrick’s legs are hooked over his forearms, so that Patrick has no more leverage, so that all he can do is cling to Jonny’s shoulders and relinquish control, just hang on and let Jonny use his body.

“Gonna give it to you now, okay?” Jonny says. “Gonna make you feel so good.”

Patrick feels hazy with lust, he tries for a nod but he’s not sure he manages. It doesn’t matter, because Jonny understands, spears him open inch by inch, unrelenting and so impossibly big, so fucking deep, for a moment Patrick forgets how to breathe.

Once he’s seated in to the root, Jonny waits, rolling his hips slowly. “Tell me when.”

Patrick cards his fingers through Jonny’s hair to ground himself. It’s damp with sweat and it’s getting so long. He can get a nice grip. “Now,” he gulps, leaning down to flick is tongue over Jonny’s lips, “Fuck, now.”

Jonny gives a couple of shallow thrusts and Patrick thrashes about for more, impatient and ineffective. “Come on. Come on, Jonny, please.”

“I’m working on it. Just give me--” Jonny says, pumping his hips harder and harder until he settles into a rhythm that has Patrick’s back sliding higher against the wall with every thrust and his hands scramble back down to Jonny’s shoulders for purchase. It’s not a position that allows much finesse, but Jonny still manages to nail Patrick’s prostate often enough that Patrick’s dick is leaking a steady stream of pre-come over his belly as it bouncees in time with Jonny’s thrusts. Patrick is dying to touch it, but he’s afraid of letting go. Little choked off keens fall from his lips, rise in volume and desperation with each new ragged breath he sucks in.

“You’re so fucking hot,” Jonny grits out. His biceps flex as he hauls Patrick almost all the way off his dick, then lets him sink, yanked back onto it by all the weight of his body. “Don’t think I’m gonna last.”

“Make me come,” Patrick asks, voice all wrecked. Jonny’s fingers dig into the soft flesh of his thighs, gripping so tightly they’re going to leave matching crowns of moon-shaped bruises. Already Patrick can’t wait for Jonny to press down on them the next time they fuck.

“Touch yourself. Come on, Peeks, I got you.”

Patrick slides a hand between their bodies and wraps it around his dick. The stimulation is enough to tip him over the edge in a couple of strokes. His whole body shakes and clenches as pleasure turns the word around him bright and meaningless.

Jonny speaks, a curse maybe, and slams into Patrick as deep as he can one last time, coming in hot spurts inside him.

*

Later, after Jonny has carried Patrick back to the bed, run a warm towel across his spent body and finally collapsed next to him, Patrick pokes him out of his daze and says, “Still hard no for the dog but like. I think I’d consider a baby.”

[aforrestofstuff]

I’ve been looking at your posts for a while now and I love your Headcanons so much! I only made an acc today just to thank you for making these! Also I’ve also seen your A03 acc and read your fanfics there and I think you’re a great writer! I wrote a huge comment on one of your stories just rambling about how much I like your tumblr and works but I don’t think it sent cause I don’t have an A03 :( today I’m 15 and I was wondering if you’d make Headcanons for how you think S Class heroes would celebrate their birthdays (if that’s alright of course I don’t wanna make you do anything you don’t wanna) and also just a question, why don’t you do PPP headcanons at all? He’s an S Class Hero and I think he’s the only hero you skip out on. Other then that, keep making these headcanons cause they are great and inspire me for my own OPM crack storie book I created (Random One Punch Man Crack Fanfictions on Wattpad i only wrote one story there and only said it if you’re interested)

Thank you thank you thank you so much. I’ve already sent you a dm but I just wanted to say it again because I’m literally vibrating with happiness. Happy birthday <3.

Birthday Headcanons:

Terrible Tornado: Sticks a candle in a store-bought cupcake and calls it a day. She’ll go get her nails and hair done, buy herself a new dress, and just spend the entire time relaxing. Fubuki used to throw her parties when they were kids but she doesn’t really expect that from her anymore.

Silverfang: His disciples used to get together and throw him a surprise party every year. However, ever since the Garou Incident, Charanko will take it upon himself to fill the void somewhat and scrape together enough money to buy a cake (or the ingredients to make one) and a small gift. Silverfang can go both ways: he likes people but he can also be quiet and reflective. So, he has a great time regardless of whether or not he has a party and spends the day enjoying nature, meditating, and being thankful for living as long as he has.

Atomic Samurai: He’s not antisocial by any stretch of the word but he prefers to celebrate this day only with those closest to him. He and his disciples do something new every year and it’s always grounded and casual. Sometimes they’ll all go out to drink, sometimes Okama and Iaian will prepare a feast, sometimes they’ll have lighthearted competitions on who’s the best swordsmaster (with weird contests like who can balance their sheaths on their head the longest and who can catch the hilt of their blade after doing a backflip 3 consecutive times). Good times all around. However, if someone mentions Atomic Samurai’s age, he will sass them to oblivion.

Child Emperor: He doesn’t really plan to do anything out of the ordinary. It’s mostly just business as usual on his birthday. But after meeting Zombieman, however, he practically gets dragged out of the lab and into something special each year. Whether it’s a horror movie marathon, a late-night drive to catch a glittering view of the city, or just chilling and stuffing themselves on sweets, it makes Zombieman a little sad to see wasted youth knowing his life (and age) is as fucked up as it is so he tries to make the kid have at least a little fun the best he can. Child Emperor always has a great time and he now sees the importance of valuing youth and no longer shows shame in pausing his work and enjoying himself every once and a while.

Metal Knight: When he wakes up on his birthday, his alarm clock plays a little tune. That’s about it. He sees no real importance behind age or youth or seniority because as long as he’s at his height of intellect, nothing else matters. Gotta build them robots. It’s business as usual.

King: Holy shit. Shut the blinds. Lock the doors. Silence the phones. It’s game time, baby. Twenty-four hours of blue screen madness. He pigs out on chips, soda, buys himself a cake, and absolutely revels in solitude. He calls his mom each year and they talk for hours on end. She tells him how proud she is of him being a kickass hero and killing monsters and he dies a little inside each time but he loves her nonetheless and keeps up the facade for her sake. She sends him a card with a few coupons and a love-filled note about how much she adores him. He nearly cries each year upon receiving it.

Zombieman: He buys the best cigars he can find, cooks himself a massive T-bone, drinks an entire six-pack of beer, and reclines while watching crime movies. He wears sweatpants, polishes his weaponry, plays Mötley Crüe loud enough for his neighbors to yell at him for it, and just has a great time all by himself. He doesn’t really like parties or get-togethers and even sometimes has to take a break from Child Emperor. This is his day to recharge his social battery and sleep for seventeen hours. This is his day to get absolutely wasted on expensive alcohol and accidentally hotbox his own house. This is his day.

Drive Knight: Pretty much the same as Metal Knight. Whenever the clock strikes midnight on his birthday, a little tune plays in his processing unit and that’s about the end of it.

Pig God: Every restaurant in the damn country has a special on his birthday. He just goes around collecting free food, taking pictures with fans, and eats until he can’t eat anymore (which is a lot). The restaurants he visits have pictures of him eating their food on the walls; he’s become a bit of a indication that if he visits a somewhere to eat, the food’s gotta be bomb as hell. He doesn’t really do anything other than that. He doesn’t really strike up conversation or anything, he just eats in silent contentment and that’s enough for everyone to have a good time.

Superalloy Darkshine: He’s a fan favorite as well. Social media will be blowing up with birthday messages, he’ll be trending on whatever the OPM universe equivalent of Twitter is, and he’ll waste no time going out to meet his fans and spreading birthday happiness. He’ll eat cake, drink with strangers, share laughs and smile without stopping. People will give him little gifts and free food and he accepts it all graciously. Everyone’s invited. Good times all around.

Watchdog Man: This is one of the few days of the year in which he takes the day off from protecting City Q. He’ll just sleep a full twenty-four hours and resume his duty the next day like clockwork each year. Sometimes passerby will leave him little gifts on his podium like meats and dog treats but he doesn’t really take any of it since he’s really particular about what he eats.

Flashy Flash: On this day, he spends time reflecting on how much he’s improved since last year and adopts an extra-vigorous training regimen for the next twenty-four hours. One year, he climbed a mountain in sub-zero temperatures. Another, he ran across a saltwater lake without breaking the surface tension of the water. He spends it alone, occasionally has a drink, and that’s about it. Sometimes he’ll go out to have a nice dinner but that’s only on years he believes he’s deserved it.

Demon Cyborg: He doesn’t really care about his birthday. This makes Doctor Kuseno kind of sad because he believes that Genos is still a kid who deserves to enjoy his birthday like one. So, he does what he can to make the day somewhat special while also pertaining to what Genos could want. This is very hard because Genos never outright says he wishes for anything and that means Kuseno has to do a lot of guesswork. It varies year to year, but the best gift he’s ever given Genos was the sense of taste so the kid could eat birthday cake and enjoy it. Genos isn’t too fond of sweets, he much prefers fruits over cakes, but nevertheless, he was so happy to get one step closer to humanity that something malfunctioned in his head and his hands wouldn’t stop shaking for a whole week.

Metal Bat: Go hard or go home. This fuckin kid pulls an all-nighter with Zenko on the weekend of his birthday to stay inside, build a pillow fort, and play video games. They order pizza, do prank calls, play fighting games, and when the sun comes out they get a couple hours of sleep before riding out again at the height of a sugar high to go to the local carnival (he’s a summer baby) and spend a paycheck’s worth of cash. Once they come home, they collapse in Bad’s bed together, curl up, and fall asleep to some movies.

Tanktop Master: He and the Tanktop Gang have an all-out birthday bash. Everyone and their grandma is invited. There’s food, alcohol, and sports playing on the television in the host’s house (each of them take turns every year). The first few hours of partying, everyone’s having lighthearted fun and watching sports and drinking lightly (Tanktoppers drink responsibly). After that, everyone kind of calms down and they all gather around in the living room and sit on the floor together and just talk about what a great year it is to be alive. They catch up, share stories, eat snacks, and wish Tanktop Master the happiest of birthdays. He absolutely adores spending time with his friends and gives a toast to everyone and their hard work. After that, he goes home and calls his mom before going to bed.

Puri-Puri Prisoner: He and his boyfriend share a slice of birthday cake from the prison cafeteria with a single candle stuck into it. His boyfriend gives him crochet and knitting lessons, they and the other prisoners dance to some music, and the guards give him a pat on the back along with some birthday wishes. That’s about it. There’s only so much he can do in prison, but he makes it work with what he has and has the time of his life nevertheless. Angel Hugs all around.

And to answer your question about PPP, I straight up just forgot he existed akshshshs. I’ll be brainstorming some stuff about him soon. Love you lots 💞💞💞💕

[outtathepressbox]

I am Tiger Woods

I am Tiger Woods

By Ivan Tolentino

April 14th, 2019, a date I will never forget. Sure I was excited about the long awaited premiere of Game of Thrones , who wasn’t?! However, yesterday will forever be enshrined in my memory as the day TIger Woods returned to glory. Prior to this past weekend only three dates have stood out to me. October 27, 1986, my beloved Mets winning their second world title. June 11, 1997 two words, flu game. Then there was June 14, 1998. Michael Jordan hit the shot of shots (no push off) and secured the Chicago Bulls six NBA championship. Now the Tiger roars again. You can say now I have my Mount Rushmore of sports memories.

Each date has meant something to me in a different way. Back in ‘86 my love affair with the Mets and sports as a whole began. The flu game left me in awe. I never seen anyone want something so bad and accomplish it, even as his body was riddled with the flu. That same man who left me in awe made me quite emotional in June of 98. As a 17 year old kid I knew it wasn’t just the end of the Bulls great run, but my childhood was ending as well. Nearly two decades later another legend and Nike spokesman brought out some heavy emotions in me.

One thing I’ve learned over the years is that everyone loves a great comeback story. If I would of told you a decade ago Tiger Woods was the most beloved figure in sports , you would of fitted me for a straitjacket. Tiger was aloof , a robot , and at times came off as arrogant. Then it all came tumbling down. We all know how the decline started. During Thanksgiving weekend 2009 Tiger Woods reportedly crashed into a hydrant and suffered some minor facial lacerations. In the upcoming weeks rumors were circulating that Woods accident was a result of a domestic dispute. Mistress after mistress appeared allegedly reporting having an affair with Tiger. That was followed by an embarrassing press conference, a stint in rehab, sponsors dropping like flies, and the end of his marriage.

As if that wasn’t enough the most physically fit golfer of all time, became a walking mash unit. A laundry list of injuries began. A neck injury in 2010, sprained MCL and Achilles in 2011, 2012 a second Achilles injury, 2014, 2015, 2016 and 2017 back surgeries. As if having back surgery in four consecutive years wasn’t enough Tiger officially hit rock bottom. On May 29, 2017 Tiger Woods was arrested on a DUI charge. Soon after videos of his arrest were going viral online. It was easy to think that was the end of Tiger, it wasn’t!

Sunday April 14, 2019 one of the best redemption stories ever played out before our very own eyes. Fourteen years since his last green jacket , eleven years since his last major Tiger Woods was back on top. As I sat back and watched a rare feeling came over me. A feeling I haven’t felt in nearly two decades. Sports had awaken something in me yet again.

The beauty of sports is how it brings people together. As a child a baseball game was the only way I could connect with my dad. In my teens my friends and I would quarrel back and forth every Spring over the Knicks and Bulls rivalry. These days catching a ball game with friends and family is a great escape from everyday life. Yesterday’s finale of the Masters Tournament helped me connect with someone else….. me.

Admitally not many people may know this but I struggle moving forward in life. I’m not sure if it’s a fear of success or one of failure but I always seem to end up in the same place.I have many great qualities, for some odd reason ambition was not one of them. When I do accomplish things I always do it for the wrong reasons. Like proving a point to others, never doing it for myself. For years I constantly put others before me , and rolled out every excuse known to man. Never once did I take a hard look in the mirror.

My epiphany came several years ago. I received harsh but much needed criticism from someone I care for. That person looked at me and out of nowhere said “what are you doing with yourself, what a waste”. Even after that it took awhile to for me to snap out of it. I was in a dead end job, overweight, and doing nothing to secure my future. Lately things have improved tremendously. I work for two solid companies, one of them being my dream company. I am happily back in school, and I’ve made much needed changes to my health. Despite all that my demons were slowly finding a way to creep back in.

After landing a job at my dream company it only took two weeks for me to say , “that’s it”. When it came to school my assignments went from a challenge to a drag overnight. Handing things in on the eleventh hour. This past week I skipped the gym for practically the entire week. Oddly enough even with all my doubts and demons , I walk around supremely confident every day. This past weekend I learned something watching Tiger. I’m not confident I’m arrogant and full of excuses.

It’s easy to look at Tiger Woods and take one glance at me and say you’re nothing alike. He’s a dominant athlete, he’s famous, has countless endorsements, and well I’d say he’s doing slightly better than me financially. However, the brilliance of Nike’s marketing team stood out to me yesterday afternoon. Of all the countless Tiger ads it was his “I am Tiger Woods” commercial that aired nearly two decades ago that stood out. The ad featured children of both genders and all types of backgrounds uttering three words…. “I am Tiger Woods” I thought it was a clever commercial for selling golf equipment at the time, not realizing it had a deeper meaning.

Deep down we all are Tiger Woods. We all make mistakes and hurt the people we love, even ourselves. Anyone can confuse arrogance with self confidence . Arrogance makes you ignorant and hurtful towards others. Tiger humbled by his past mistakes has put his arrogance behind him. It’s a lesson I hope to learn. My arrogance has caused me to be unkind and that false confidence has allowed excuses to seep in. It’s time to put them to bed.

Through my own doing my body has broken down. I got two bad knees that sound like an attic from a horror movie each morning. My feet and my back hurt all because even with a much healthier lifestyle I’m still probably a good thirty pounds overweight. No back fusions , no countess hours of rehab like Tiger , so there shouldn’t be any excuses to become a better version of myself physically as well.

You can be the greatest golfer of all time who recaptures his glory days at the age of 43, or you can be a 38 year old man who admittedly has underachieved most of his life. It really doesn’t matter it’s never too late to achieve greatness , and just be a better person to yourself and those around you. Tiger was humbled and learned what was more important in life. It wasn’t the fast cars, countless women , and fame. It was all about the game his father taught him at the age of three and now his own children.

Mistakes will happen , nobody is perfect. Not even a guy who’s won fifteen majors, or the man writing this piece.

Don’t just come back to the golf course, reclaim your crown. Don’t just land the job, thrive in it.If you go back to school give it your absolute best. Have confidence NOT arrogance. Arrogance comes off as excessive confidence , but it reality it’s a lack of confidence. Confidence allows you to get back up when life and your own insecurities knock you down. I will never forgot April 14, 2019 it’s the day I realized I am Tiger Woods

[paleorecipecookbook]

Why You Need to Move Every Day to Get the Benefits of Exercise

Did I just describe you? If so, I applaud you for making time on your days off for physical activity. Unfortunately, such sporadic bursts aren’t enough to counteract the harmful effects prolonged sitting has on the mind and body. To get the benefits of exercise, you need to move much more often—every single day—by sitting much less. In other words, you have to swap your sedentary lifestyle for an active one.

Don’t panic: That doesn’t mean you have to find an extra hour in your busy day to get to the gym or a fitness class. By doing simple things like taking standing and walking breaks during work, plus occasionally engaging in brief but higher-intensity exercise, you’ll be moving like our active hunter–gatherer ancestors did and be well on your way to enjoying better health.

Think about your typical work day. Do you sit at a desk for eight hours, commute home in a car, and sit in front of the TV until bed? If so, you’re not getting the full benefits of exercise—even if your weekends are full of workouts. Find out why. #healthylifestyle #chriskresser

Six Reasons Why Sitting Is So Bad for Your Health

A sedentary lifestyle, comprising prolonged sitting and minimal physical activity, has a negative effect on nearly every aspect of human health. As a result, it increases your risk of developing serious chronic diseases and even early death. Although we’re not 100 percent sure why sitting raises these risks, thanks to the emergent field of sedentary physiology, we have some pretty good ideas. (1) For example, we know that sitting is associated with decreased calorie expenditure and poorer metabolic functioning, including reduced insulin sensitivity. (2) As I’ve discussed before, sitting too much can lead to weight gain over time—even if you’re exercising when you step away from your desk.

Avoiding the additional pounds isn’t the only reason to start moving. Here are six more evidence-backed reasons why you need to stop spending so much of your day sitting.

Reason #1: It’s Hazardous to Your Heart

Studies have linked being sedentary with cardiovascular disease (CVD), including coronary heart disease, stroke, heart attack, and CVD-related death. (3, 4) It appears that sitting decreases activity of the enzyme lipoprotein lipase (LPL), which leads to higher levels of triglycerides (a type of fat that moves through your bloodstream and is sometimes an indicator for CVD) and lower levels of HDL (“good” cholesterol). (5) Sitting too much has also been found to increase blood pressure and decrease the diameter of arteries, making heart disease more likely.

Reason #2: It Impairs Insulin Sensitivity, Putting You in the Diabetes Danger Zone

Sitting has been linked to insulin resistance, a risk factor for diabetes. In one investigation, on the day participants sat for five consecutive hours after consuming a high-calorie drink, their plasma insulin and glucose levels were more than 20 percent higher than on days when they interrupted sitting with short breaks. Other research suggests that sitting for just two hours after a meal could increase your blood sugar levels. Over time, that sets the stage for insulin resistance and diabetes. (6, 7)

Reason #3: You Set the Stage for Osteoporosis in Your Lifetime

Researchers now associate sitting with lower bone mineral density and osteoporosis in both men and women. (8, 9) The lower your bone mineral density—think calcium and phosphorus—the weaker your bones. Some of the latest studies have looked at adolescents and the amount of time they spend at a computer, watching television, or playing video games, finding a negative association between sitting and bone mineral content and density, particularly in teenage boys. (10, 11, 12)

Reason #4: You Boost Your Chance of Cancer ...

… by up to 66 percent, according to one study. (13) Researchers found sedentary behavior to be associated with a:

24 percent higher risk of developing colon cancer

32 percent greater chance of endometrial cancer

21 percent increased risk of lung cancer

Watching TV, in particular, was associated with a 54 percent higher likelihood of colon cancer and 66 percent greater chance of endometrial cancer. These links remained strong even in people who worked out regularly. A large study also linked sitting to a higher risk of breast cancer, ovarian cancer, and multiple myeloma. (14)

Reason #5: You Lose Your Mind—Literally

One recent study from UCLA reported that participants who sat for long stretches of time had thinning in regions of the brain involved in memory formation. This decreased thickness can serve as a precursor to cognitive decline and dementia. (15)

Reason #6: Ultimately, It Can Kill You

Multiple studies from around the globe have found an association between increased sedentary time and the risk of early death. In the summer of 2018, results of a survey of more than 125,000 adults were released that found that those who sat for six or more hours a day were 19 percent more likely to die over the next two decades than those who spent less time sitting once their workday was over. And the higher risk of death remained even in people who exercised. (16)

Think Exercise Is the Only Answer? Think Again

Notice something about many of the studies shared above? Several found the same negative health outcomes in people who were completely sedentary and “weekend warriors,” those who worked out but still spent the majority of each day seated. And there are many other studies that confirm those conclusions.

It’s clear: Exercise alone—including bursts of moderate to vigorous activity—can’t undo the damage caused by sitting.

Some research even suggests that people who exercise intensely, like marathon runners, are more likely to be sedentary when they’re not exercising, falsely assuming their training offers them the full benefits of exercise and protects them from the harmful effects of sitting. (17) What’s more, in some cases marathons, triathlons, and long-distance bicycle rides can result in overtraining, and studies have linked these activities with heart, muscle, and joint damage. (18, 19)

In industrialized societies, this “active couch potato” phenomenon has unfortunately become the norm rather than the exception. If you work in an office, commute by car, and watch a few hours of TV each night, it’s not hard to see how you could spend the vast majority of your waking life (up to 15 hours a day) sitting on your butt. This is far outside of the evolutionary norm for humans, and it has serious consequences for our health.

How to Get the Benefits of Exercise: Stop Being Sedentary and Move Like Your Ancestors

What is the evolutionary norm? Our hunter–gatherer ancestors didn’t work out; they just lived. They naturally spent a lot of time outdoors in the sun—walking, hunting, and gathering. They had to exert themselves, and often quite strenuously, to survive. Our ancestors sprinted, jogged, climbed, carried, and jumped intermittently throughout the day, on top of walking and running. They also alternated strenuous and demanding days with days of rest, an instinctual response that protected them from injury and fatigue.

You can mimic their approach today by becoming what I call an “organic mover,” a person who engages in lots of low-intensity physical activity along with distinct periods of higher-intensity exercise. SWAP your way to ancestral health: stand, walk, and push.

Stand

One of the easiest ways to undo the harmful effects of sitting is simply to stand up! Standing engages muscles that boost LPL activity and boosts your metabolism. (20) In general, I recommend standing or walking for at least 50 percent of your day.

Try this:

Use a standing desk. There are several types of standing desks on the market, ranging from stationary to adjustable models, or you can make one yourself. (A few low-tech ideas: Try putting your laptop on a sturdy box or crate, an old speaker stand, or even some stacked books.) Many employers permit them and even provide them for their employees.

Take standing breaks. If you’re unable to work at a standing desk, be sure to stand up for at least two minutes every 30 to 45 minutes, and either stretch or take a quick walk (do this when you’re sitting at home, too). Even short breaks like this can make a huge difference. Set a timer on your phone or look for an app that will remind you to move on a regular basis. Also try standing for part or all of your meetings.

Walk

Again, let’s keep it simple: Walk more and sit less. (Other light exercise such as gardening and household cleaning is also beneficial.) Research has shown that even low to moderate physical activity like walking lowers post-meal blood sugar, insulin, and triglyceride levels. (21)

Try this:

Walk while you work with a treadmill desk. I use a treadmill desk myself and average between 15,000 and 18,000 steps a day. As with standing desks, there are several options for configuration. You can buy a treadmill for an existing standing desk or buy a desk that fits above your existing treadmill.

Hold walking meetings. Who says meetings have to sit around a boardroom table?

Walk or bicycle to work. If you live too far away to walk or ride exclusively, consider driving part of the way and commuting on foot or bike for the remainder.

Use the stairs whenever possible, and rack up steps.

Find a hobby that moves you. Ballroom dancing, bowling, gardening, and cooking are fun choices that get you walking around. Pick something that’s fun and that fits your lifestyle—that’s the key to sticking with it.

Push

In addition to standing and walking more, you need to occasionally push yourself as our ancestors did with bouts of more intense exercise; just don’t overdo it. I recommend following the guidelines established by my friend and colleague Dan Pardi.

Try this:

Aim for 150 minutes of moderate-intensity exercise per week (jogging, yoga, or dancing), which requires 50 to 70 percent of your maximum effort to perform; OR

Get 75 minutes of vigorous-intensity activity a week (running, Zumba, or sports), which takes 70 to 90 percent of your maximum effort; OR

Complete 30 sets (roughly 30 minutes) of highest-intensity exercise per week (sprinting, jumping rope, or resistance training), which needs greater than 90 percent of your maximum effort; OR

Do some combination of the above.

A note about your maximum effort: I use percentages here because your “maximum effort” will differ from someone else’s based on a number of factors. Someone who’s living a sedentary lifestyle, for example, might consider a light jog to be a vigorous-intensity workout, while a runner might call it moderate. The key is to pay attention to your body and push yourself.

The third bullet refers to a type of exercise often called high-intensity interval training (HIIT), which involves performing movements at very high intensity for very short periods of time, usually between 30 seconds and two minutes. If you’ve been taught that “chronic cardio” (as Mark Sisson calls it) is the way to go, this approach may seem too good to be true, yet studies have found HIIT superior on nearly every level. It’s a great option to help you move like your ancestors.

I hope you now see that truly active living is key to optimal well-being, and that as long as you sit for the bulk of your day, you run the health risks of a sedentary life. If you want to get the full benefits of exercise, it’s time to SWAP things up.

Now, I’d like to hear from you. What’s your exercise routine? How long do you sit in a typical day? Let me know below in the comments!

The post Why You Need to Move Every Day to Get the Benefits of Exercise appeared first on Chris Kresser.

Source: http://chriskresser.com November 17, 2018 at 06:01PM

[suit-lady]

A Stupid Dare.

A/N: *slides in a week late with Starbucks and crippling depression* Hey guys, what’s up? So, I’ve been working on a little fic to go along with this post on and off for the last week, and it’s finally done! As a side note, Infinity War can suck my ass and instead, Tony and Steve and the whole gang had a lovely lil reunion and everyone (sans Peter) is living upstate like it should be thanks.

Alternatively, Ned gives Peter a stupid idea that Peter goes along with, even though Ned is honestly afraid that Peter might literally die. Warnings: Swearing throughout. It’s me. Word Count: 2120 Thanks for reading! :D

Friends always gave friends stupid ideas, right? But, like, they’re supposed to say that those ideas are, in fact, stupid and veto them, right?

Ned couldn’t stop fidgeting with the buttons on his shirt as he followed his best friend, the apparent idiot, Peter Parker, into their local Wal-Mart.

“Oh, fuck, Ned, we should’ve grabbed a cart,” Peter said with a chuckle. “I dunno if the two of us can carry nine of these out of here without dropping any. I might have superpowers, but my balance is still shit.”

Ned wasn’t really listening. He was honestly already feeling sick knowing what his close pal was about to do to his body. Absentmindedly, he stuck out his arms, waiting for Peter to stack four four-packs of Red Bull onto his forearms. Four times nine is thirty-six. Ned shook his head, shooing the thought away. Peter wouldn’t do this if he thought he couldn’t survive, right? Right?

It took two grocery bags to hold all the Red Bull, plus Peter carried a four-pack in his hand. After asking if Ned would carry both bags, Peter opened the four-pack he was holding and started drinking his first of thirty-six. Ned wanted to throw up all over the sidewalk. Seriously, who could drink even one of these caffeine nightmares, let alone one plus thirty-five more?

Peter was on his third can by the time they got back to the apartment. They bid hello to May before entering Peter’s room and closing the door. After all, Peter would never want his aunt to see him in the state he was about to be in. Ned sat at Peter’s desk (Guy in the chair, hell yeah.) and began googling the effects of caffeine so that they’d be ready for everything Peter was going to go through. As he clicked through articles, he tried to ignore the sound of the second cardboard container being ripped open.

“Okay, okay, so each 250 milliliter can has 80 milligrams of caffeine in it.” Peter hummed through the liquid to show he was listening. “The recommended amount of caffeine intake is 400 milligrams.” Another hum. “So that means you are going to be consuming… 7.2 times the recommended amount.”

“Damn,” Peter said after he swallowed. “That’s a lot, even for me.”

“Even for you?! Fuck, Peter, this is so dangerous.”

“What, you don’t think it’ll just make my spidey senses ridiculously tuned?” Pop, fizz.

“No, I think you could die.”

Another hum. Peter had started drinking his sixth fucking can of Red Bull. It had almost been fifteen minutes, meaning the caffeine was beginning to hit him. “It might heighten your senses at first… The caffeine buildup should start happening soon.” Peter nodded as he swallowed, and Ned decided to make a phone call.

“Happy Hogan, who is this?” Happy’s face appeared on the screen of Ned’s laptop.

“Hi Happy, I would have called Mr. Stark, but I don’t have his phone number,” Ned explained before jumping in.

“Okay, what’s up with the kid?”

“Is Peter in trouble?” Ned heard Tony ask from not-too-far-away. “We’re kind of busy here.” If Ned listened hard enough, he could hear Dum-E whirring, working on a project of Tony’s.

Ned coughed awkwardly before answering, “Do you think drinking 36 cans of Red Bull consecutively would make Peter’s spidey senses even more heightened or do you think he would die?”

“Oh my God,” Happy sighed at the same time Tony said, “Fuck. What number is he on?”

“Ten,” Ned replied after Peter flashed five fingers twice.

“I’ll be right there. Dum-E, save this for later…No, later. Happy, I need you to… Oh, fuck I dunno… Hey FRIDAY? Could you tell me what the best liver cleanse smoothies are?” A long pause. “Fuck, kid, why are you like this? FRIDAY, end call.”

Ned sat back, a little numb. Tony Stark was so worried about Peter that he was going to come to his apartment. Holy fuck, Ned thought to himself as he stared at the black laptop screen. My stupid idea might fucking kill Spider-Man.

Ned did his best to distract himself from watching Peter, but it was impossible. As he opened his fourth package, Peter asked, “Could you open them in advance so I can drink them faster? It’s slowing me down.” After Ned gave him a look, he defended himself, “Look, if I’m doing this, I’m doing it right.”

Ned started tearing through the cardboard of boxes five and six, thinking, The right way to do this is to not do it at all.

Peter was more than halfway through the Red Bull by the time Ned heard a sharp knock at the door. Just as Ned opened the door to Peter’s room, he saw May rushing to get the door. She was wearing an apron and her hair was a mess; she was doing her best to make dinner. Ned’s heart swelled for a moment before the panic set back in. May’s not supposed to know.

“Oh… Tony! What a surprise!” May’s less-than-enthusiastic voice called through the house. Ned couldn’t see the door, so he assumed that Tony had come alone. Jet boosters. Nice.

“Yeah, me and a few friends came by to…talk to Peter about…y’know, internship stuff.” Tony’s voice was awkward and faltered a little. He was trying not to let on to May that he was worried.

“Oh, sure! He’s just in his room with Ned…that’s his best friend.” Huh, it worked.

“Yes, we’ve met him.” Wait… We? Friends? Who?

“Oh, C-Captain America… I don’t believe we’ve met.” Ned could imagine May fixing her hair in a nervous-yet-flirtatious fashion. He stifled a laugh.

“Evening, ma’am. This is a lovely apartment you have.” Steve’s voice echoed down the hall without Steve even trying. Ned knew May was absolutely swooning.

“We probably won’t stay for dinner. Just saying ‘hi’ to the kid.”

As footsteps started coming closer, Ned heard May call after them, “You’re more than welcome!”

The moment they were in view, Ned apologized, “I was going to answer the door, but she beat me to it.”

Patting him on the shoulder, Tony replied, “No worries, guy in the chair.” Ned shot Peter a look. Peter shrugged. “So how many is that, Parker?”

With a grin as he opened a new can, he said, “This one makes number twenty-two.” His expression changed to a grimace. “My stomach hurts.” The smile returned. “But! I can hear everyone in the apartment down two floors. They have friends over.”

Tony rolled his eyes. “Well, I’m glad your experiment didn’t go haywire before Steve and I arrived.”

“Tony was running around the base, trying to find anything that would help cleanse your liver. It took a mountain of coaxing to get him to leave with just one smoothie.” Steve held up a water bottle filled with a pinkish-red mixture. “We would have been here earlier had his Dad Instincts not kicked in.”

“Look,” Tony defended himself with a pointed look at Steve. “I can be worried about my ssssssssuperhero protégé, alright?”

Steve rolled his eyes, hard. “Yeah, sure, but there’s no need to worry about Peter this much, Tony. He might just be a kid,” he paused to chuckle when Peter bristled. “But he’s surrounded by great people who take good care of him.”

Do we? Ned asked himself. If not for me, the literal fucking Avengers would not be in my best friend’s apartment right now.

“After all,” Steve continued with a shrug, “the boys in the army used to place bets on how many beers I could drink before I couldn’t walk straight anymore. My record was once after we’d been partying a lot recently—one of our buddies had gotten married two weekends beforehand—and my tolerance was even better than usual. I think I drank the pub nearly dry at like… seventy beers or something. All of our betting money went to the pub that night.”

Steve and Peter were laughing. Ned and Tony were not.

Soon after, Peter cracked the last Red Bull with a grin. “Five minutes from now I will be dialed to twelve.” His voice got deep and announcer-like. “This is the ideal male body. You may not like it, but this is what peak performance looks like.”

Steve and Tony exchanged confused glances, but Ned brushed it off with a wave of his hand while he laughed. “It’s a kid joke.”

“Okay,” Peter said definitively, throwing the last can in his trash bin. “I’m putting on the suit.”

“Don’t you think you should wait to see how the caffeine affects—” Tony stopped short as Peter flung himself out of the window. A moment passed. “Well, I guess I’ll call Karen.”

Tony plugged some sort of external hard drive into Ned’s laptop, which caused everything on the screen to change. From what fit on the screen, Ned could tell that it was designs and other crazy-amazing stuff that Tony carried around to work on while he was on the go. He did some typing, and a blank video screen came up. An oddly digital ringtone played.

“Hello, boss,” Karen’s voice suddenly sounded in the room. “Would you like to see Peter’s vitals?”

“That would be wonderful. Could you show us his Baby Monitor feed as well?”

“Of course.”

The screen showed the streets of Queens flying by at an incredible speed from uncomfortably high up. If the screen weren’t so small, Ned was sure he would have felt very sick at the sight. Peter could be heard quietly squealing in glee about how well he could feel the wind on his arms and face. In the corner of the screen, his body temperature, heart rate, and similar functions were shown.

“Peter’s heart rate is much faster than usual, as expected,” Tony observed. “His body is working at a much higher level, so he’s processing information faster than he usually would. Since he’s already to attuned to feeling the smallest changes in the environment, this is probably nostalgic to swinging around Queens for the first time. He’s probably got half an hour before he crashes and comes back to sleep for a day and a half.”

Ned nodded, absorbing the information. “So he’s gonna be alright?”

Steve chuckled before Tony could answer. “This was a dare, wasn’t it?”

Ned went white, and Tony said, “Yeah, the kid will be fine. But… really, Ned?”

“I thought he would say no!” This time, Steve and Tony both laughed.

“Hey kid! How’s it going?” Tony asked after turning on Ned’s mic.

“This is amazing!” Peter shouted, his ecstatic mood obvious. “Everything is even more clear than usual! I bet I’d be able to see perfectly in my old suit!”

Tony rolled his eyes. “You are never putting those bard-esque sweatpants on ever again, Peter Parker.”

“They’re stylish!” Peter defended himself.

“No they aren’t,” Ned, Steve, and Tony responded in unison.

“Oh.”

Tony was right. After a little over thirty minutes, Peter returned to the apartment, stumbling and wheezing. He’d barely gotten the suit off before he collapsed into bed, groaning about how awful he felt. Even though Steve kept giving him disapproving looks, Tony encouraged Peter to drink the protein smoothie they had brought with them.

“Okay, Iron Man,” Steve said, pulling Tony away from Peter. “The kid needs rest, and we have adult stuff to do at the facility.”

Ned sat Peter up and pulled a big tee shirt over his arms—decency, y’know—while he listened to Steve awkwardly usher Tony out of the house. As predicted, May was very adamant about the two handsome men staying over for dinner, but Steve was very firm, refusing to let Tony stay in the house another minute. May came by to check on Peter, who was nearly passed out in bed. Ned panicked; he had no cover-up story; he couldn’t just tell May that he’d convinced her nephew to chug thirty-fucking-six Red Bulls.

“Steve told me that Peter went…out,” May said, her eyes flicking to the suit. “And that he’s had a long afternoon.”

“Yeah… bit of a workout,” Ned agreed, laughing awkwardly.

“I had plans for dinner, but I’m gonna make something that’s bread and veggie heavy. Hopefully that’ll make him feel a little better?”

“That sounds good. And lots of water.”

Peter agreed with a thumbs-up, and May skittered off. After making sure Peter was all right to be left alone, Ned left his room to help May cook. Ned helped his mother sometimes; maybe the meal wouldn’t be a disaster if Ned was there to supervise. After all, it was the least he could do after nearly killing May’s nephew, whether she knew the whole story or not.

Tagging @sortinghatsara because she dealt with my bee ess the entire time I wrote this gd fic.

[typetwofun]

How I Learned To Stop Worrying and Love The Quarantine

“I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: ‘If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?’ And whenever the answer has been "No" for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.”

That’s a quote from Steve Jobs that I have always particularly liked. I think the reason that I enjoy it so much is that it suggests that if life isn’t going the way you want, you have some degree of control to change it more to your liking. The first place my head goes when I hear that quote is work. We spend a lot of our waking hours either at work or thinking about work, so that has a lot to do with how much we enjoy each day. But on the other side of the coin, if your life is only focused on work, you’re also probably not going to be entirely thrilled if you found out today was your last day on earth.

During pre-quarantine life, if you weren't excited about your day of work ahead, you were at least able to look forward to trying that new restaurant that evening or meeting a good friend for a drink at your favorite bar or maybe just grabbing a cup of coffee at the cafe where they know your usual as you head into the office. It doesn’t have to be an opulent treat either. My good friend Austin and I used to visit our favorite neighborhood bar every Tuesday and that alone kept every Tuesday exciting.

In mid-March when most of the U.S. started shutting down many of us were hit with an existential crises. The weekly rituals, office culture, hobbies and social events that made our daily lives more enjoyable and interesting evaporated right in front of our eyes. Your Tuesday evening visit to the local watering hole, your friends and colleagues at work, or your runners club before work on Thursday all the sudden isn’t there and you now have a vacuum of time that needs to be filled.

When I realized that I now had an abundance of our most precious commodity, I had an opportunity to start doing some of the things that I had been putting off for months and in some cases years. This blog is a great example of something I had always thought would be a good idea, but I never made the time for it. Now I have several additional hours each evening making now the perfect time to start this project. Everyone has the books they’ve been meaning to read or the dishes they would like to cook but never do because your schedule’s too packed. But now things are different, I mean who’s not making sourdough bread right now?

I have found the key to finding joy during this quarantine is to fill the newly found time each day with something I truly enjoy. Although I never sat down and wrote a comprehensive list, I had a number of ideas floating around in my head on what I would do if I had more time in my day. Writing a blog was one, spending more time working on my motorcycle was another, read more is up there and the list goes on. As I started doing the things I didn’t have the time to pre quarantine, I also stumbled upon other activities I never really thought I would enjoy but serendipitously found to be my favorite part of the day. See below.

What I had floating around in my head but didn’t make the time for:

Write for pleasure - I started this blog with a goal of writing 1 post per month with the goal of improving my writing. This post makes me two for two so far ;-)

Grow a vegetable garden - I now have a space with a raised garden bed to plant some vegetables and flowers. I did a small garden two years ago, but last year I was training for a triathlon and didn’t have the time to tend to a garden, now I have plenty.

Saturday’s in the garage - I have spent several hours just about every Saturday in the garage finishing a big repair job and doing preseason maintenance. I can happily report after a complete top end rebuild my bike is running and ready for the season ahead.

Read more broadly - In quarantine I have read books spanning the History of NYC, Ski Touring in the North East, No Country for Old Men, and The Picture of Dorian Gray. Open to suggestions on what to read next.

Run - I have been suffering from plantar fasciitis for almost six months, but after using insoles, a bunch of weird stretches, and yoga before work a few times a week and after long runs I’m back running twice per week.

Activities I didn’t anticipate picking up in quarantine:

Discovering New TV Shows -  Cody Townsend's The Fifty , the Last Dance, and Working For the Weekend - I watched 1 or 2 episodes per day to elongate the enjoyment from each series.

Expanding my cocktail palate - 5p has become cocktail hour in our apartment. When I’ve had my third consecutive Zoom meeting of the afternoon, it’s a nice reward for finishing out the workday. I’ve been trying new cocktails and variations of cocktails I may have not previously enjoyed in an effort to keep it interesting. For instance, I never knew I liked Negornis before I discovered their secret ingredient - carpano antica.

I have also really enjoyed the Scofflaw (pictured below) and Whiskey Sours.

Even though I have found a lot of reasons to enjoy the past ten weeks in quarantine, I cannot wait to go back to the way life was before this virus dominated nearly every aspect of my waking hours. Non-stop video conferences and digital communication at work followed by zoom and phone call with friends in the evening can really wear me down. Even the cognitive load that comes along with every precaution we take to avoid getting infected seems to be taking its toll.

I also realize that I am incredibly privileged in several ways. I am employed, working from home, and quite busy at work which not only supplies adequate funds to stay comfortable during the quarantine but also means I don’t have to go out into the uncertain world every day. I know many of us are either out of work or must risk exposure to the virus which must also be incredibly stressful. Some people may also be quarantined in isolation which sounds borderline tortuous for more than a couple of days.  And most of all, the first responders who are put into harm's way every day they show up to work, I have a tremendous amount of respect for you and our society is in a great debt for your service.

Even though the past couple of months have been tough for everyone and it doesn’t appear that we’re going to live in a world where the virus is contained any time soon, we don’t have much of a choice other than to find a way to make the most of it. The philosopher Epictetus once said, “The chief task in life is simply this: to identify and separate matters so that I can say clearly to myself which are externals not under my control, and which have to do with the choices I actually control.” So, while we can’t control our state’s position on opening back up or how many new cases are reported in our city, we can certainly take advantage of newfound time that we have to ourselves. You have been gifted life’s most precious commodity, what are you going to do with it?

I guess what I’m trying to say is, when life hands you lemons you should make a cocktail.

[junker-town]

The NBA’s realest drama remains on the court

A Bucks vs. Celtics battle was exactly what we needed after the All-Star break.

The Bucks and Celtics played each other on Thursday night in a game that featured clutch shot-making, playoff-level defense, and late-game controversy. It was everything you’d want in a mid-season showdown between two contenders. That it came at the moment when the league shakes off the All-Star week hangover and finally gets serious for the final stretch only added to its urgency.

In the final three minutes alone there were four lead changes, one tie, and a bizarre 3.7 seconds that included: a blown shot-clock interpretation, an offensive foul by Kyrie Irving that led to a defensive foul by Khris Middleton — both of which went uncalled — and then two missed shooting fouls on Irving’s last-second attempt that never would have happened if either the shot clock or the offensive foul had been called correctly.

There were also numerous strategic talking points to dissect along with a signature moment from MVP frontrunner Giannis Antetokounmpo, whose at-the-rim block of a Jayson Tatum breakaway dunk helped secure a one-point Milwaukee victory.

To be sure, most of the night wasn’t nearly that dramatic. Both teams looked like they hadn’t played an NBA game in more than a week and with that came all the loose turnovers and bricked jump shots you can imagine. Still, the chaotic final minutes felt like a prelude to an epic playoff series between two teams that are only a year removed from going seven games.

It was a wonderful sloppy mess that offered a welcome antidote to an All-Star break that featured more hand-wringing about tampering, the continued devolution of the Anthony Davis saga, and the deflating sight of Zion Williamson lying in a heap after the presumptive No. 1 overall pick’s shoe exploded.

All of which is to say, we needed that. We needed the games to matter again because left to our own devices and devoid of meaningful contests, the NBA continued to spin storylines ripped from plot points both real and imagined. It’s around that moment when a hallway conversation between friends becomes an orchestrated coup.

Jeff Hanisch-USA TODAY Sports

“C’mon man, you do it for the likes and clicks, everybody does,” Irving said on Wednesday, after a video of his conversation with Kevin Durant was posted online. “Everybody wants to hear me talk like this. Everybody wants to actually talk about bullshit. A video though? To pour water on (speculation)? Makes no sense. It’s not real life. Not real.”

Irving has said a lot of head-scratching things over the last few years but he was right about this. When all we talk about is bullshit, and most of what’s said before July 1 is meaningless, what’s left to really discuss?

The Bucks and C’s gave us a well-timed reminder that the games are the realest currency in this morally bankrupt world of conjured conspiracies and idle speculation. Especially in the Eastern Conference where the matchup possibilities are endlessly fascinating.

Consider that the Celtics own the Sixers, but haven’t won in Toronto in almost four years. Or that the Raps went 3-1 against Philly, but only 1-3 against Milwaukee. While the Sixers have struggled against the other contenders, that was before they added Tobias Harris to their star-studded starting lineup. The Pacers, meanwhile, are still lurking with their strong defense and high-IQ roster ready to upset anyone who dares overlook them.

With apologies to the Raptors and leaving open the possibility that the Sixers will gel Voltron-style between now and April, the Bucks and the Celtics have the look of the two best teams in the conference. Milwaukee owns the best record and top point-differential, while Boston has been almost as good since Nov. 26 when they began to salvage their season with a road win over New Orleans.

What’s fascinating about these two teams is they are polar opposites in nearly every respect. The Bucks have outperformed every conceivable expectation with unabashed joy, while the Celtics have underachieved through a campaign that’s featured multiple public airings of internal distress.

The Bucks are the only team in the league that hasn’t lost consecutive games, a level of consistency that few saw for this team coming into this season. The Celtics, on the other hand, have been both streaky and occasionally sketchy. Their inconsistent play has been a far cry from the anticipated plug-and-play juggernaut.

With every starter except for Antetokounmpo heading for free agency this summer, the Bucks have gone all-in this season. In December, they dumped salary and acquired a solid veteran in George Hill who has stabilized their second units around a commitment to defense. And in February, general manager Jon Horst acquired Niko Mirotic from the Pelicans for a stash of second-round picks.

For reasons of practicality and also the promise of prying AD from New Orleans this summer, the Celtics have not gone all-in this season, electing to stand pat through the summer and at the deadline while everyone else loaded up. Minus the first quarter of the season and leaving aside all the other stuff — admittedly it’s a lot of stuff — the C’s are still a deep team loaded with playoff experience. There’s a reason people keep coming back to them despite their petty squabbles.

The on-court strategies also take divergent paths. Under Brad Stevens, the Celtics employ the modern tactic of switching every defensive assignment. They did so while continuing to play Antetokounmpo straight up and daring the other Bucks to beat them. That they did when Middleton buried an above-the break 3-pointer that proved to be the game-winner. The same Khris Middleton who nearly broke Boston in last season’s playoff.

The Bucks, meanwhile, resist switching in favor of dropping their big men into the paint, a Mike Budenholzer staple. Because they rarely foul, the Bucks are successful in taking two of the three most prized shots away from their opponents: dunks and free throws.

The Celtics don’t do much of either, so they happily accepted the open invitation to fire away, notably on the pick-and-pop between Irving and Al Horford that may hold the key in a playoff matchup.

It all came down to those final climatic seconds where everything seemed to be happening at once and no one had any clue what they were watching. Give us seven games of that. Give us Giannis racing down the court for chase-down blocks and Kyrie unspooling corkscrew jumpers. Give us Horford stretching the floor and Middleton working the mid-range. Give us Bud and Brad trying to force the other to adjust their tactics.

Hell, we’re not greedy. We’ll take anything we can get. Give us the Raptors and Celtics finally meeting in a postseason series. Give us JoJo Embiid battling Marc Gasol, or Kawhi Leonard trying to lock down the Freak. Give us Eric Bledsoe muscling Kyle Lowry out of the paint or Ben Simmons towering over all of them.

Give us any of it. We need it all after this season.

SAY WHAT?I

“Is the internet real for you, in your life?”

Kyrie Irving.

Reaction: I took All-Star weekend off for the first time in six years and completely unplugged from the NBA. Before Kyrie’s quotestorm, I had no idea there was a video of him and Kevin Durant talking, and I don’t feel the need to go hunt it down. The internet is why we’re all here, but it doesn’t have to run our lives.

“Knowing what I know now, college basketball is bullsh-t.”

DeMarcus Cousins, in the aftermath of Zion Williamson’s injury.

Reaction: It’s worth listening to the whole video because Cousins makes a number of valid points, including the acknowledgment that he enjoyed his time in college. In what the league says is coincidence, they submitted a proposal to the NBPA the day after Zion’s injury to lower the minimum age to 18 years old. That’s a collective bargaining issue and one both sides should work to get right.

“How am I going to keep Isaiah Thomas off the floor? I’m not. He’s here for a reason. We’ll figure it out.”

Denver coach Michael Malone.

Reaction: The Nuggets have a numbers problem. They have too many guys. With Thomas and Gary Harris coming back from injuries, they go 12-deep and have received contributions from a diverse group of players including Monte Morris and Malik Beasley who are enjoying breakthrough seasons. Managing those minutes will be an interesting test for Malone. (By the way, I’ve watched this video of Malone draining a jumper on Jamal Murray daily for a dose of middle-aged affirmation.)

“I do want to win a championship, but it’s other stuff that means more to me. It’s almost like I’m not willing to sell myself out for that.”

Portland guard Damian Lilllard on Chris Haynes’ Posted Up podcast.

Reaction: At some point, maybe, people will listen to Dame when he consistently makes this point that there are things more important in his life than winning championships. The dude is just different and maybe we should all appreciate his well-balanced perspective.

“It’s lingering, and it’s something that has to be looked at for sure. For sure, it’s personal. For sure. I don’t think he should be able to even officiate our games anymore, honestly.”

James Harden discussing referee Scott Foster after fouling out of a game on Thursday.

Reaction: While not unprecedented, it’s been a while since we had a player-ref feud of this magnitude. You may recall that the league took Joey Crawford off the floor after a run-in with Tim Duncan. Old heads surely remember the nastiness between Clyde Drexler and Jake O’Donnell. Those were different times. It will be interesting to see how the league handles this one.

THE LIST

Consumable NBA Thoughts

With only a third of the season left to play, we have ourselves an honest-to-goodness race for Most Valuable Player. With three deserving candidates at the top and a half-dozen more lingering around the fringes, the MVP conversation is one we’ll be having often over the next two months. Let’s have fun with it and not turn it into a flame war. Cool? Here’s where things stand for me, with the caveat that I’m keeping an open mind about all of it as this unfolds.

Giannis Antetokounmpo

I’ve had Giannis on top of my unofficial MVP rankings since mid-November and he’s given me no reason to drop him from the perch. There’s been no drop-off in play or league-wide adjustment to consistently slow him down. He’s also a monster defensively. If anything, Antetokounmpo’s value has only increased as his Bucks assumed control of the regular season. Milwaukee is 13.7 points better than their opponents when Giannis is on the court, the highest individual net rating in the league. The Bucks are only three points better when he sits, essentially the difference between a good team and the best in the league. That’s a crude metric, but I’m rolling with the best player on the best team having arguably the best season. For now.

James Harden

Like Giannis, there’s no objective reason to deny Harden the top spot. He’s been so brilliant offensively that his campaign defies simple comparison. Even in this hyper-inflated era, no one has ever played like this. Nor have they remained this efficient or so long. You can quibble about the aesthetics of Harden’s game, but not his importance. Before his surge, there were legitimate arguments that the Rockets were toast. He’s carried them back from the brink. It’s been Harden’s bad luck to play in an era when his best season have been overshadowed by other historic campaigns — Steph Curry in 2015, Russell Westbrook in 2017 — and now, possibly Giannis, as well.

Paul George

I’m not sure what PG needs to do to break into the top two. Play out of his mind? Sure, but George has been doing that. He’s averaging 34-8-5 over the last month and that’s with 2.5 steals a game and 45 percent shooting from 3-point range. The numbers are so outrageous across the board for the top 3 MVP contenders that PG’s exploits have been, if not glossed over, hardly celebrated with the same vigor as the top two. That may be changing. PG has a third of the season left to continue changing our minds about what kind of player he’s been this season. It’s led him to the top three and that’s a level few of us ever thought he’d reach. That’s no reason to put a cap on him either.

Kevin Durant/Steph Curry

The old saw that KD is objectively “better,” while Curry is arguably more “important,” to the Warriors holds some measure of truth. It’s also an easy way to avoid the question. If pressed, I’d have KD fourth and Curry fifth simply because he’s played more games and more than 400 more minutes. I don’t feel that strongly about it either. Maybe someday we’ll be able to look back and appreciate how these two megastars gave each other enough rope to continue being great. Right now it just feels like overkill.

Everyone else

Nikola Jokic has been a beast for the Nuggets. He is someone you really need to watch to appreciate. Joel Embiid has been for Philly, as well. Hopefully his leg injury won’t keep him out long. Damian Lillard has reached a sustained level of excellence that should be celebrated. You can make arguments for any of them to be “in the conversation” and I won’t object to how you rank them. I might even throw Rudy Gobert in there, but not ahead of the other two big men. Kyrie Irving and Kawhi Leonard have both been outstanding, but they’ve missed a few too many games to crack the top five. LeBron James remains LeBron James, minus the 18 games he’s missed. That’s a healthy list, all subject to change in April.

[hballou]

Nonprofit Fundraising in our COVID-19 World with Martin Leifeld

Nonprofit Fundraising in our COVID-19 World with Martin Leifeld

Martin Leifeld, author, coach, consultant, and public speaker directed the raising of over $500 million dollars during his 24 years of fundraising leadership in the St. Louis region. Martin authored the book, FIVE MINUTES FOR FUNDRAISING - A Collection of Expert Advice from Gifted Fundraisers. MartinLeifeld.com provides nearly 125 video presentations about leadership and fundraising matters.

Martin served as vice chancellor for university advancement at UMSL for 10 years. He led a dramatic increase in fundraising, averaging $26.4 million per year. University Advancement had 140 employees and a $16 million budget focusing upon alumni engagement, community relations, fundraising, marketing and communication, university events, and St. Louis Public Radio.

Previously, Martin was associate vice president for university development at Saint Louis University and director of development for the Diocese of Belleville, Ill.

Martin was named the 2018 Outstanding Fundraising Executive by the AFP St. Louis Regional Chapter. Martin was selected as the 2020 Millard S. Cohen Lifetime Achievement Award from St. Louis Public Radio (KWMU).

  Read the Interview

Hugh Ballou: Greetings. This is Hugh Ballou. Welcome to The Nonprofit Exchange. Every week, we have a guest who has knowledge and wisdom, and experience in a topic. They have been there and done it, and they have some things to share with you. You’re sitting in the seat as clergy, nonprofit leader, or board chair. Maybe you’re a business person thinking about launching a nonprofit. This series is here to help you think out of the box, think of some new paradigms, and learn from some people who are experienced.

Today, my guest is from St. Louis, Missouri. He is the author of this book, Five Minutes for Fundraising: A Collection of Expert Advice from Gifted Fundraisers. Martin Leifeld, welcome. Would you tell people a little bit about yourself, and why is it that you do what you do?

Martin Leifeld: First of all, it’s an honor to be on your program today, and I appreciate your audience. I hope I can be helpful.

I’ve been in various leadership roles for around 45 years. 25 years of those were in small and larger universities. 25 years, although they didn’t overlap exactly with the universities, I have been involved in fundraising. About two years ago, I retired after 10 years as vice chancellor for advancement at the University of Missouri, St. Louis, which is our local urban land grant university here in St. Louis. I had a wonderful run there.

Long story short, here in the St. Louis region, which is where I spent my 25 years of fundraising, over $500 million raised, that’s a lot of money for St. Louis. It’s not about the dollars raised; it’s about the involvement, the lives changed, and the impact because of the dollars raised. Two years ago, I retired. It wasn’t my timing, to be honest with you. I had health issues. My handle in the last couple of years has been author, coach, consultant, and speaker. A little bit of everything. I think you know what I mean. I have a website, MartinLeifeld.com. There are over 120 videos there on fundraising and leadership. You were kind enough to point out the book. I have been doing podcasts, a couple dozen of them, and regular postings, particularly on LinkedIn.

I am trying to give back. This is all about trying to give back to a profession that has been such a blessing for me, so good for me in so many respects. Certainly developed professional skills. I have grown as a person by doing this extraordinary work of fundraising.

Hugh: We have in the audience two fundraisers who are CFRE. They’re here because they heard about you. We’ll let them ask questions later.

Martin: I’m beginning to sweat, Hugh.

Hugh: They’re very nice people.

Martin: I hope so.

Hugh: I had a funding professional last month. He said he reads a fundraising book a week. My area is transformational leadership and the conductor. The best leaders I worked with in corporate or nonprofits are the people who are always working on themselves. The famous speaker Jim Rohn always said, “Work on yourself harder than you work on your business.” I wrote that down and have been working on it ever since. 73, and still working.

Martin: I’m impressed by somebody who would read a book weekly. There is a chapter in the book called, “The Three C’s of Fundraising.” The first is competence. If you want to be involved in fundraising, being somebody of impact who makes a difference, you have to develop competency. There are two ways to do that.

One is lifelong learning. You are a student of the game, of the practice. That can include certifications and the like. You mentioned CFRE, which makes me nervous. You go to webinars like this, podcasts, so on and so forth, to remain educated and current in the field. But book-learning alone doesn’t make you an impactful person in the work of philanthropy. You have to add to that experience. In any profession, if you’re working diligently and are learning, being humble as you work your way through successes and failures, you should acquire the kind of experience that makes that study you do come to life and be most virtuous. That’s just competence.

You have to have confidence. Confidence is not bravado. It’s not fake it until you make it. Real confidence grows alongside the development of competence.

But to get to your point, the third C is character. What donors want is someone who is competent. They want to recognize a competent professional who is doing their work with excellence and to have that quiet confidence that comes over the course of time. But what they are really looking for is people with outstanding character, people who are virtuous and trustworthy, people who you might say they know they can do business with. They can shake hands and make something happen.

If you don’t have all three operating, I don’t think you can be a master in any profession.

Hugh: Absolutely. I have earmarked a few things. I want to talk to you about the correlation between leadership and fundraising. Did you just sit down and say, “I want to write a book?” What was the inspiration, and how did you connect with the people in there, who are all experienced fundraising professionals?

Martin: You might find this story curious. Since I turned 30, every consecutive decade since, on the 9th, the 29th, the 39th, etc., I would use that year very deliberately to reflect on my life up to that point, trying to look at success and failure, places for improvement. To look at the next 10 years and try to project what I can do to have an impact. I should say every decade, I got more intense about this, too.

Six years ago, when I was 59, I was really working through that year. I decided in that spring to take 100 days and really drill down about the future. Every day in my journal, Day 1/100, Day 15/100, I began my journal. Journaling is part of my morning ritual. Seeking ahead, you might say. Believe it or not, around day 72/73/75, I have what I call a small I, inspiration. The inspiration, as I referred, was to give back to the profession. I wanted to start there.

I thought, Well, I had done so much mentoring and coaching and fundraising with staff and volunteers. I was very good at doing something briefly. Somebody asked a question, as you can tell, I can go on for five minutes. Five minutes, I can give a good answer that would be appreciated. Maybe I could do some brief videos. Then I thought, Well, not everyone wants to watch a video, let alone look at me for a few minutes. People prefer to read. Let me do both.

So the genesis of the book logistically was transcribing my first year and a half of videos on these very subjects. Hugh, you may know this, and your audience may also. Seven minutes of video, especially the speed at which I talk, only translates to a few pages. I got into this and thought, I am not going to have a book. The other part of this was I never tried to give a comprehensive answer about something. It was more stuff I noodled about, experimented with, discovered that I thought was helpful.

That is what prompted me to go out and recruit 26 others to join me as collaborators in this. It was a fun experience because maybe 60% of them I knew, some very well, but the others I went out and recruited based on word of mouth and reference. I had to establish a relationship with them, like a donor, and ask them for their assistance. I found overwhelming willingness to be supportive.

Hugh: Wow. 26 of them here, all by name. Each chapter says, “Collaboration.” Speak a little bit about how collaboration works for you, and how it manifested itself in the book. It’s interesting how you have each section with dots and italics to stand apart, where there is a dialogue.

Martin: What I was trying to do was say something about the particular subjects, insight and angle. I had come to realize through experience and effort and training. Then I wanted to enrich it. I tried to find people. I called them collaborators. In other words, I wanted to start with what I had to say about a particular subject and ask them to add to it. Nobody really directly contradicted me as a collaborator. But they collaborated in the sense that they took the content seriously and enhanced it with their own reflections. Many of them added stories that put the flesh on the bones of the point of the chapter. It was interesting. If I had asked people to write it, they wouldn’t have written it because they were too busy. I had somebody help me interview them. We came to it in different ways based on the needs and availability and interest of my collaborators. I tried to collaborate logistically and practically in order to have them help, but they were generous about their time.

The thing about this word “collaboration” is the goal is a joint thing we do together. The goal is to bring the best of more than one person to bear in order to, as you talk about with synergy with your organization, to get that synergistic gain, to get that exponential gain that you can’t get with just yourself necessarily. Even if you have the authority with CFRE.

Hugh: People introduce me sometimes as Hugh Ballou, an expert in leadership. I say, “I’m Hugh Ballou, a serious student of leadership.”

Martin: Hear, hear.

Hugh: The title of this episode is, “Fundraising in COVID-19.” And the post-COVID-19 world. There are some consistent things and some new thoughts. That chapter with leadership, the Three C’s, your collaborator said, “ABC: Authenticity, belief, and confidence.” You and I were talking before about how fundraising is terrifying for a lot of us. I don’t want to go. It’s like when I was a teenager calling a girl for a date. I didn’t want to get turned down, so I stood by the phone and sweat. Is that like people wanting to make a money call? What is it about trying to raise money that is so fearful?

Martin: I don’t know. It’s all about fear. It’s the fear of the unknown. It’s the fear of being rejected. The fear of fumbling your way through it. The fear of someone being rude to you. If you will be embarrassed in front of them or embarrass them. It’s something new. I haven’t done it before. For those in religious work, it’s unseemly. I shouldn’t have to do that kind of thing as a pastor. Leave that to someone else to do. There is a lot of things.

When I first got into major gift fundraising, in the St. Louis area, I would criss-cross southern Illinois, a larger rural area, sometimes driving an hour or an hour and a half to see someone. Talk about sweating bullets. I would rehearse half the trip, “Hugh, would you and Mary consider a gift for the education of poor elementary kids, a gift of $10,000? You could even pay that over three years.” I would say that over and over again because I couldn’t trust myself. When I first began to do it, and I fumbled, it was a long drive back, knowing I hadn’t done what I set out to do. I began to rehearse very seriously. Once I got in the home or the office, who knows what might happen? It might be something I couldn’t predict. All I had to do was say, “Hugh and Mary,” and out would come the rest because I had rehearsed it. For those of you being called upon to raise money, practice makes perfect. You can do it.

But let me shift into something more serious. Fundraising is a privilege. Fundraising is the most honorable of work. Fundraising is a spiritual work. Fundraising is actually a vocation. I came to this once I was talking to a very wise woman about fundraising and the struggles. She said, ‘Martin, you’re in a helping profession.” A helping profession? I had never thought of it that way. I thought, Especially now, physicians, nurses, first responders, educators, oh my gosh, the young families. Two of my kids are educating kids at home. They have a manifold of appreciation of what it takes to be an educator now that they are trying to do that in their living rooms and around the kitchen table.

But I hadn’t thought of my profession of being something that was actually about helping. That’s what it is. What we do as fundraisers are facilitators in effect. I like to refer to myself as a facilitator of philanthropy. What we do is on behalf of worthy causes. In effect, what we want to do is come alongside, almost put our arm around someone’s shoulder, and say, “Look, there is an opportunity that makes sense to you as I have gotten to know you, and through which you can demonstrate great impact on this world. Here is the idea. Would you consider it?” That kind of work is very powerful and honorable work.

I have had the privilege, as many of your audience have had, of interacting with some people of extraordinary success, Fortune 25 executives. I have had some of those people say to me, “Martin, I could never do that job. That is too hard a job.” Some of them knew it first-hand because they were chairmen of nonprofits or board members. They were called upon to go out and do it. They knew first-hand what I was doing full-time. They respected it. We underestimate the value, the contribution we are making in this work.

Hugh: Wow. That’s a paradigm shift. Somewhere, and it may be in this chapter, “Five Generous Fundraisers,” before we talk more about donors, let’s consider you as the fundraiser. Somewhere, you talk about the impact it has on donors to actually donate. There is a point of philanthropy that releases something in you to make that donation, to see something happen. Talk about that. That is an inspiration that we don’t think about, the impact that it has on the donor.

Martin: First of all, it’s all about the donor. What we tend to do is focus on ourselves. In one sense, we should because we want to be professional and effective and do the job with excellence. We also want to represent our organizations with integrity, as effectively as we can. It’s all about the donor. What we’re into is a business of building lifelong relationships, not just after a transaction. We want to build and support the relationship that the donor has with the organization for their lifetime hopefully. In that relationship-building process, there are opportunities for financial exchange. What this is about is not a transaction although writing a check or giving away stock or a document with a commitment is part of it. But what it’s really about is helping people to influence the world for the better, and to demonstrate their values and what matters most to them.

In that process of a donor taking their eyes off of themselves and looking outward, looking at, “Okay, I have been fortunate enough to have accrued these assets,” rather than being preoccupied with how I could take care of myself, I am going to give it to others or to the world to improve it. As they do that, they become greater people. Biochemically, by the way, we change. Enzymes are released. One person called it the family bonding enzyme. I used to notice that somebody would make a big gift to one of my organizations and suddenly they would be everywhere. They would be at every event, bringing friends and colleagues, talking about the organization with great enthusiasm. What’s this all about? By their making a serious commitment, a gift of greater significance, there was something that happened within their entire being. A wise man, as you know, once said, “It’s better to give than to receive.” There is something we receive as an internal, spiritual, reward by giving of ourselves generously. One of the ways we give ourselves generously, certainly in this contemporary age, is with financial resources in addition to our time and talents.

Hugh: That’s so good. The other thing I earmarked is you wrote this chapter about the donor development cycle. There is a transaction, and there are those who never ask for the sale. I have been there many times. One higher net worth person asked me, “You didn’t ask for the sale.” It was my first conversation to get acquainted. But he was a businessman, “What do you want?” Another one, I am packing up to leave after I told him about what I was doing. He said, “Don’t you want a check?” Then he wrote me a check and handed one to me a lot bigger than I thought. That was about relationships.

But this cycle, you go through steps, identification, qualification, and more. Talk about the process. There is a transaction, but there is a lot more to this process.

Martin: The bottom line is this is about a relationship. In the course of a relationship, you go through seasons. In this particular cycle that we use in our fundraising business, you identify. Then qualify, which means are these people of capacity? Are these people who have an interest or potential interest in what we represent?

Then we cultivate, which is about building a relationship and involving them in the organization. That can include charitable giving, but not a gift of greater significance. As we get to know them, we are able to think about, Okay, given what they are interested in, how does that align with what we are about as an organization? What dimensions of our organization would be something that would make sense to them, that they would desire to support?

Then we have the conversation about asking. Some people are proponents of never asking for money. They just listen their way to a gift. I have always believed to have conversations about money, about scale, about impact, about size. That might be, with this amount, you can do this and that. Provide some options. But I always want to be working with numbers. People want to know what we would like them to do. My experience has been perhaps more often the opposite of yours. If I don’t ask, I get something smaller than what I had hoped for. I have always been one to say, “Let’s talk about money.” It’s a part of life. It’s how we carry on in this world. Most people want to get to the bottom line, “How much do you want?” They can say yes, no, maybe so. They want to make that happen, but they can’t make that happen now, or they will have to think more creatively about it. They can’t write a check.

I have always taught our people the 80/20 rule. Listen 80% of the time. COVID-19 has brought us to a hard stop here in some respects, but when you think about the frenetic pace of life that has only gotten faster and faster during our adult years, it has reached the point of sheer lunacy. Was anyone listening to anybody? One of the reasons we are such a divided nation is we completely lost the ability to listen, and listen with respect. What I found in fundraising, and I think many professionals in other fields would say the same thing, if you want success in your life, in your business, in your endeavors, you listen. It wouldn’t be that I would listen 100% of the time. But what I found is people desperately wanted to be heard. They wanted to be listened to attentively, appreciatively, and respectfully. Honestly, when I think about to what extent I was a great fundraiser in my career, it’s because of the power of listening. I have to ask for money, too. But listening puts us in that best position to understand.

What I would do is retain, record, and retrieve. Three R’s. Retain. Somebody had something to say during the course of the conversation. I was listening closely and thinking, That’s important.

Record. I would get in the car, call my assistant, and tell them, “Start taking notes.” Or I’d get back to the office and start typing at my computer. I would record all the various things I thought would be insightful and helpful, not just for me, but for anyone in my organization who would have reason to engage with those people.

This is all about preparation. When I would prepare for my next visit, I would retrieve. The thing is in work like this, we are in front of different wonderful people each day. If a month has passed, there is no guarantee I would remember what someone said was important to them a month ago. One way I would respect them is I would retain, record, and retrieve, so that when I would return to them, I could say, “Hugh, so how’s Mary Alice doing? You were talking about her facing that surgery.” Or, “Hugh, how’s that billy goat dog of yours doing? You were worried about this.” Or, “Hugh, you said you were going to be marrying off your son Charlie. How’d it go?” People know I am representing the organization, but they love the fact that I listened to them as people. I cared about them as people. Do you think when it came to talking about a gift eventually, that put me in a better position to be taken seriously? Without question.

It seems like, Geez, this is common sense, isn’t it? We have lost a lot of common sense.

Hugh: The problem with common sense is it’s not very common.

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Let’s pivot. You talked about some brilliant reframing of some old scripts we tell ourselves that minimize ourselves. I am guilty as anybody else, maybe more. That’s not my job. I teach leadership.

We have been in an era of lockdown. We are going back to work in Virginia. Churches are a sort of meeting with very limited engagement. No children. No singing. There is a new paradigm of how the exercise classes are in the parking lot with rain all week. People are getting paychecks from unemployment. What if that money runs out? Then what? We are facing some new challenges. How does that impact fundraising going forward?

Martin: If you look back to the great recession, some sectors did better than other sectors in terms of fundraising. In the great recession, I had just come to the University of Missouri to take a campaign that was already underway public. I was there a month, and the economic sky fell. The world was thrown in the craziness. It doesn’t exactly line up with our situation today, but there are some similarities certainly. Long story short, we decided to go ahead with our campaign. In my first year there, we raised 54% more than any other year in the history of that institution. When I hear someone say, “Boy, we can’t ask for money now. People don’t have it,” I immediately say, “That’s not necessarily true.”

One thing I would say is this: If somebody is philanthropic, and they have less money, are they less philanthropic? I don’t think so. Philanthropy is a part of a value system. Let me ask you this about the organization you represent. Has its value proposition changed because of this pandemic? No, it hasn’t. Now, if you are a food bank, there might be more urgency, immediacy. Crises bring out people’s desire to try to do something for others, whether it’s by cutting a check or by cheering on the streets for the first responders and nurses. People want to be supportive. One way they are supportive is certainly with their philanthropic support.

Hugh: Love it. Would you like to have some questions from our audience?

Martin: As long as they’re all soft balls.

Hugh: No guarantees. There’s Jeffrey Fulgham from Richmond, Virginia. He is a CFRE and has done many good things. Used to be in Lynchburg, but moved just a couple hours away. Do you have a particular observation or question for our guest today?

Jeffrey Fulgham: I don’t really have a question, but I love what I’m hearing, Martin. The first thing when I came on (I missed the very beginning) is the part you were talking about studying, and that’s only part of the equation. You can glean all this information, but if you started moving through your presentation, you were talking about relationships, which has always been the meat of this business. It’s never more important than it is right now of letting folks know we care about them, and you hit that nail right on the head. That’s what I have been preaching to my clients and associates: how important it is to stay connected to people and let them know that this relationship is a personal relationship before a financial relationship.

I really liked what you said about character because I think that’s the core of what we’re doing. It’s the core of leadership. If you don’t have the character, you probably shouldn’t be a fundraiser or in leadership either.

The other thing that you mentioned about evaluating, that was so good. I didn’t start doing it early enough. I wish I had done it the way you did it. The last five years, I have taken the month of December, or January because we are so darn busy in December that we don’t have the time. I did a post-mortem on the year and on my life. How could I be better? This is great stuff. I’m glad I connected today.

Martin: Jeffrey, pleased to meet you, and thanks for your great comments. I’m glad I’m in the ballpark with mine. One of the things, in fact, I just did a podcast on this, writing a chapter on someone’s book on morning rituals. Every morning, as part of my morning ritual, I have one page in my personal/professional planner (I call it that), and I review what matters most about my life. That is a way for me to get locked and loaded for the day, in order to go forth and have the greatest impact possible, as a professional, but as a person. What am I all about as a person? Being able to define that, have it clarified, reviewing it every day has been amazingly powerful.

One other thing I would say around the word “authenticity” is people want to be authentic, and they want authentic people in front of them. We don’t have to be perfect in our work, but we want to be respectful, thoughtful, and do it the best way we can. Fundraisers come in all shapes, sizes, and abilities, and they understand that. But they don’t want a fake, a snake salesman. They want a human being that they can respect and look up to. That’s what they want from us.

Jeffrey: I definitely agree with that. That authenticity and character and genuineness, people would ask me about having these relationships with people. I said, “You have to be in a genuine relationship. You can’t have a relationship where you want someone to think that it’s about the fact that you like them and want to be in a relationship, but it’s really about the money, so you are clocking it so that it looks genuine. It might work for a little while, but it won’t work for you forever. If you really want to have successful fundraising, it’s about long-term relationships with people.” I’m fortunate that I am connected to people who I am three or four organizations removed from now. I still have relationships with them, and I still talk to them, especially right now with everything going on. Staying in touch. That’s the fun part of this business. It’s the most fun.

Martin: The relationships is the most gratifying part of the deal. It’s not about the dollars raised although that’s great, too, because it can accomplish great things. In our business, we get to meet the most wonderful people. Phenomenal people. When I think about my own personal and professional development, a lot of it was profoundly stimulated by the people I have gotten to spend time with in this work of fundraising.

Hugh: And I have gotten to spend time with Jeffrey and Bob Hopkins. Bob, you’ve been quietly listening. Do you have a question or comment for our guest today?

Bob Hopkins: I’m in my backyard outside. Didn’t know I had any airwaves back here. Beautiful day in Dallas by the way. I am loving listening to you. After 40 years of doing this kind of thing, you think you know it all. While I might say I do, it’s so much fun to remember some of the key aspects of the fundraising process. When you first started talking, I thought, Why doesn’t he talk about listening? Sure enough, 15 minutes later, you talked about listening. I am so grateful for that conversation. I teach speech, and I’m teaching people how to talk. But there is a chapter in my book called “Listening.” I spend about five minutes on listening because I don’t think people need to know anything about it, and I am so wrong. As you said, the 80/20 thing is so true. I have so many great stories of when I didn’t listen, and you know what? I didn’t get the gift. Or when I listened and waited and patiently took my time about receiving, that I got about six times more money than I would have gotten had I asked earlier when the person wasn’t ready.

Martin: It’s such a great comment. Pleased to meet you. We talk about this in a lot of fields, the blending of art and science. As I said, developing competency is about education and experience. Maybe that’s the better way. This is a work you learn on the job; it’s on the job training. As we stick with it, it saddens me when I think about the turnover in the profession. If something is willing to stick with it and keep at it, as you all know, the satisfaction is phenomenal to be in this work. To become competent at it over time is immensely gratifying. Beautiful horse by the way, Bob.

Hugh: That’s not his current one. He has one he is really proud of. That’s his passion. One day, I was having lunch with him in Dallas, and he went off on this horse thing when I asked him about his passion.

The principle is 80/20. 80% of your results are produced by 20% of your people. 80% of your inventory only produces 20% of your profits, but 20% produces 80% of your profits. It goes with donors; it’s a repeated principle. When I wrote my first book, Moving Spirits, Building Lives, it’s about church musicians and transformational leaders. That is when I moved into leadership. It took me 40 years to write this and 30 days to put it on paper when I was leaving the profession. I determined in that book the Ballou 10/90 principle. As a music director, 10% of my job was music; 90% made that possible. I am thinking as far as a professional fundraiser, the 10% is what people see, but 90% is under the iceberg. 90% is relationship, staying in touch, that allows that 10% to happen. There is a lot that happens that is invisible to most people, but that is where the hard lifting is.

Let’s hit real hard on this. We still have money in the economy. The fed printed more digital currency. Money didn’t go away. Some people are struggling to make ends meet, but some companies are doing really well. Google had a record-breaking quarter. Grocery stores are slammed. There are some ministries that are challenged. Some restaurants are out of business. There is still money out there and people who want to make a difference. What is the change of mindset for addressing the new normal here?

Martin: In some ways, the mindset hasn’t changed. In other words, we have an organization worthy of support that is doing important work in this world. We are engaging with people who want to make a difference with their lives and resources to the extent that they can. They may have taken a hit financially, so they may not be able to do something right now. They may have to structure it differently. Back in the great recession, we mentioned we raised 54% more than any other prior year in the institution’s history, that wasn’t people writing a bunch of huge checks. People were writing smaller checks, making pledges over longer periods of time, putting gifts in their estates, and so on. Bundle it all together, and it would be a number that was not insignificant for them, but they couldn’t do it. Even today, a year ago, someone might give you a large number with checks over a couple of years. Now, they still want to give you that number, but it will be put together in a different kind of package.

What we need to do is be sensitive to people. We are all talking the same talk here. We have to put the concern for the people first. There are relationships. If we treat them that way, whether they can make a gift now or later, we are building the relationship for the long term. We are doing our job with the relationship by putting them and their concerns first. We all have stories and connections, a degree or two away from us, of people who have been profoundly impacted by this. We should know it firsthand, and be sensitive as we engage with others.

To raise major gifts, it’s typically a face-to-face, labor-intensive business. Up until very recently, there hasn’t been any face-to-face work. Difficult to have a talk with a donor ten feet apart. Tools like Zoom, even my sister who just turned 80 years old knows how to use Zoom. We can all use Zoom. People welcome Zoom calls or the equivalent. They desire that human interaction. If we get on a call like this, we just have a conversation, and we listen to them, that’s powerful.

Hugh: whoever thought of this term “social distancing,” it’s physical distancing. We are still social. Anti-social distancing. This book is chock-full of stuff that is not rocket science. It’s a solid experience when people have been there and done it. Stuff that most of us don’t know. You have been around and done this for years; you’ve practiced this. I’m a musician. We rehearse. You have rehearsed a lot. What I am so appreciative of is you put it in a book to share with people. Why should people have this book? Where can they get it?

Martin: Why they should get it is it’s a way of staying current in the work. If you are a beginner, it’s an insightful introduction to the work. It’s getting 27 seasoned professionals’ input, not just one’s. I call it Five Minutes for Fundraisingbecause each chapter is about a five-minute read. They are stand-alone chapters. You don’t have to read it in consecutively. You can go to what resonates or what you need right now.

In terms of the book, if you want an autographed one, 15% off, no shipping and handling, go to MartinLeifeld.com and order it there. You can get it on Amazon as well. Like any book, it’s available on multiple channels.

Hugh: It’s not an expensive book.

*Sponsored by EZCard* *Message about a Youth Philanthropy Conference on 6/27*

This has been a very helpful interview. Lots of good sound bites. What do you want to leave people with today? What is a challenge or thought as we go into the unknown?

Martin: Every day we are going into the unknown. That was six months ago, too. It’s new every morning, as it says in the Book of Lamentations, for those of you who look at the Bible. What we’re after is helping people become greater through philanthropy. We’re doing that through putting them first, respecting who they are, helping them to demonstrate their value system to the world. Hopefully, by working with our organization as part of their way of doing so. We are privileged. It’s honorable work. It’s worth people devoting their lives to.

Not to highlight myself, but this is powerful. When I retired two years ago, they had a party for me, which was very nice. A number of the donors were there who I had worked with for years. Unbeknownst to me, they had a video. If you go to YouTube, it’s there. This couple who were the first alumni in this young university to reach a $5 million-level gift of cumulative giving was on the video. This is what they said, and I think it pulls it together and certainly represents so much my gratitude for the work of philanthropy in my life. They said, “By teaching us about giving, Martin, you have given us a great gift. Our philanthropic involvement with the university has enhanced our lives on many levels. We owe that to you. Martin, because of your professionalism, expertise, and friendship, you made something that is truly enjoyable even more rewarding. You showed us the way to contribute in a meaningful manner, and this resulted in our receiving so much in return.”

Hugh: What a great summary.

Martin: Isn’t that amazing? That’s what it’s about.

Hugh: It is amazing. You have touched people’s lives on both ends of the spectrum. Martin, thank you for sharing your wisdom and time with us today.

Martin: Thank you.

Check out this episode!

[jesseneufeld]

Why You Need to Move Every Day to Get the Benefits of Exercise

Did I just describe you? If so, I applaud you for making time on your days off for physical activity. Unfortunately, such sporadic bursts aren’t enough to counteract the harmful effects prolonged sitting has on the mind and body. To get the benefits of exercise, you need to move much more often—every single day—by sitting much less. In other words, you have to swap your sedentary lifestyle for an active one.

Don’t panic: That doesn’t mean you have to find an extra hour in your busy day to get to the gym or a fitness class. By doing simple things like taking standing and walking breaks during work, plus occasionally engaging in brief but higher-intensity exercise, you’ll be moving like our active hunter–gatherer ancestors did and be well on your way to enjoying better health.

Think about your typical work day. Do you sit at a desk for eight hours, commute home in a car, and sit in front of the TV until bed? If so, you’re not getting the full benefits of exercise—even if your weekends are full of workouts. Find out why. #healthylifestyle #chriskresser

Six Reasons Why Sitting Is So Bad for Your Health

A sedentary lifestyle, comprising prolonged sitting and minimal physical activity, has a negative effect on nearly every aspect of human health. As a result, it increases your risk of developing serious chronic diseases and even early death. Although we’re not 100 percent sure why sitting raises these risks, thanks to the emergent field of sedentary physiology, we have some pretty good ideas. (1) For example, we know that sitting is associated with decreased calorie expenditure and poorer metabolic functioning, including reduced insulin sensitivity. (2) As I’ve discussed before, sitting too much can lead to weight gain over time—even if you’re exercising when you step away from your desk.

Avoiding the additional pounds isn’t the only reason to start moving. Here are six more evidence-backed reasons why you need to stop spending so much of your day sitting.

Reason #1: It’s Hazardous to Your Heart

Studies have linked being sedentary with cardiovascular disease (CVD), including coronary heart disease, stroke, heart attack, and CVD-related death. (3, 4) It appears that sitting decreases activity of the enzyme lipoprotein lipase (LPL), which leads to higher levels of triglycerides (a type of fat that moves through your bloodstream and is sometimes an indicator for CVD) and lower levels of HDL (“good” cholesterol). (5) Sitting too much has also been found to increase blood pressure and decrease the diameter of arteries, making heart disease more likely.

Reason #2: It Impairs Insulin Sensitivity, Putting You in the Diabetes Danger Zone

Sitting has been linked to insulin resistance, a risk factor for diabetes. In one investigation, on the day participants sat for five consecutive hours after consuming a high-calorie drink, their plasma insulin and glucose levels were more than 20 percent higher than on days when they interrupted sitting with short breaks. Other research suggests that sitting for just two hours after a meal could increase your blood sugar levels. Over time, that sets the stage for insulin resistance and diabetes. (6, 7)

Reason #3: You Set the Stage for Osteoporosis in Your Lifetime

Researchers now associate sitting with lower bone mineral density and osteoporosis in both men and women. (8, 9) The lower your bone mineral density—think calcium and phosphorus—the weaker your bones. Some of the latest studies have looked at adolescents and the amount of time they spend at a computer, watching television, or playing video games, finding a negative association between sitting and bone mineral content and density, particularly in teenage boys. (10, 11, 12)

Reason #4: You Boost Your Chance of Cancer ...

… by up to 66 percent, according to one study. (13) Researchers found sedentary behavior to be associated with a:

24 percent higher risk of developing colon cancer

32 percent greater chance of endometrial cancer

21 percent increased risk of lung cancer

Watching TV, in particular, was associated with a 54 percent higher likelihood of colon cancer and 66 percent greater chance of endometrial cancer. These links remained strong even in people who worked out regularly. A large study also linked sitting to a higher risk of breast cancer, ovarian cancer, and multiple myeloma. (14)

Reason #5: You Lose Your Mind—Literally

One recent study from UCLA reported that participants who sat for long stretches of time had thinning in regions of the brain involved in memory formation. This decreased thickness can serve as a precursor to cognitive decline and dementia. (15)

Reason #6: Ultimately, It Can Kill You

Multiple studies from around the globe have found an association between increased sedentary time and the risk of early death. In the summer of 2018, results of a survey of more than 125,000 adults were released that found that those who sat for six or more hours a day were 19 percent more likely to die over the next two decades than those who spent less time sitting once their workday was over. And the higher risk of death remained even in people who exercised. (16)

Think Exercise Is the Only Answer? Think Again

Notice something about many of the studies shared above? Several found the same negative health outcomes in people who were completely sedentary and “weekend warriors,” those who worked out but still spent the majority of each day seated. And there are many other studies that confirm those conclusions.

It’s clear: Exercise alone—including bursts of moderate to vigorous activity—can’t undo the damage caused by sitting.

Some research even suggests that people who exercise intensely, like marathon runners, are more likely to be sedentary when they’re not exercising, falsely assuming their training offers them the full benefits of exercise and protects them from the harmful effects of sitting. (17) What’s more, in some cases marathons, triathlons, and long-distance bicycle rides can result in overtraining, and studies have linked these activities with heart, muscle, and joint damage. (18, 19)

In industrialized societies, this “active couch potato” phenomenon has unfortunately become the norm rather than the exception. If you work in an office, commute by car, and watch a few hours of TV each night, it’s not hard to see how you could spend the vast majority of your waking life (up to 15 hours a day) sitting on your butt. This is far outside of the evolutionary norm for humans, and it has serious consequences for our health.

How to Get the Benefits of Exercise: Stop Being Sedentary and Move Like Your Ancestors

What is the evolutionary norm? Our hunter–gatherer ancestors didn’t work out; they just lived. They naturally spent a lot of time outdoors in the sun—walking, hunting, and gathering. They had to exert themselves, and often quite strenuously, to survive. Our ancestors sprinted, jogged, climbed, carried, and jumped intermittently throughout the day, on top of walking and running. They also alternated strenuous and demanding days with days of rest, an instinctual response that protected them from injury and fatigue.

You can mimic their approach today by becoming what I call an “organic mover,” a person who engages in lots of low-intensity physical activity along with distinct periods of higher-intensity exercise. SWAP your way to ancestral health: stand, walk, and push.

Stand

One of the easiest ways to undo the harmful effects of sitting is simply to stand up! Standing engages muscles that boost LPL activity and boosts your metabolism. (20) In general, I recommend standing or walking for at least 50 percent of your day.

Try this:

Use a standing desk. There are several types of standing desks on the market, ranging from stationary to adjustable models, or you can make one yourself. (A few low-tech ideas: Try putting your laptop on a sturdy box or crate, an old speaker stand, or even some stacked books.) Many employers permit them and even provide them for their employees.

Take standing breaks. If you’re unable to work at a standing desk, be sure to stand up for at least two minutes every 30 to 45 minutes, and either stretch or take a quick walk (do this when you’re sitting at home, too). Even short breaks like this can make a huge difference. Set a timer on your phone or look for an app that will remind you to move on a regular basis. Also try standing for part or all of your meetings.

Walk

Again, let’s keep it simple: Walk more and sit less. (Other light exercise such as gardening and household cleaning is also beneficial.) Research has shown that even low to moderate physical activity like walking lowers post-meal blood sugar, insulin, and triglyceride levels. (21)

Try this:

Walk while you work with a treadmill desk. I use a treadmill desk myself and average between 15,000 and 18,000 steps a day. As with standing desks, there are several options for configuration. You can buy a treadmill for an existing standing desk or buy a desk that fits above your existing treadmill.

Hold walking meetings. Who says meetings have to sit around a boardroom table?

Walk or bicycle to work. If you live too far away to walk or ride exclusively, consider driving part of the way and commuting on foot or bike for the remainder.

Use the stairs whenever possible, and rack up steps.

Find a hobby that moves you. Ballroom dancing, bowling, gardening, and cooking are fun choices that get you walking around. Pick something that’s fun and that fits your lifestyle—that’s the key to sticking with it.

Push

In addition to standing and walking more, you need to occasionally push yourself as our ancestors did with bouts of more intense exercise; just don’t overdo it. I recommend following the guidelines established by my friend and colleague Dan Pardi.

Try this:

Aim for 150 minutes of moderate-intensity exercise per week (jogging, yoga, or dancing), which requires 50 to 70 percent of your maximum effort to perform; OR

Get 75 minutes of vigorous-intensity activity a week (running, Zumba, or sports), which takes 70 to 90 percent of your maximum effort; OR

Complete 30 sets (roughly 30 minutes) of highest-intensity exercise per week (sprinting, jumping rope, or resistance training), which needs greater than 90 percent of your maximum effort; OR

Do some combination of the above.

A note about your maximum effort: I use percentages here because your “maximum effort” will differ from someone else’s based on a number of factors. Someone who’s living a sedentary lifestyle, for example, might consider a light jog to be a vigorous-intensity workout, while a runner might call it moderate. The key is to pay attention to your body and push yourself.

The third bullet refers to a type of exercise often called high-intensity interval training (HIIT), which involves performing movements at very high intensity for very short periods of time, usually between 30 seconds and two minutes. If you’ve been taught that “chronic cardio” (as Mark Sisson calls it) is the way to go, this approach may seem too good to be true, yet studies have found HIIT superior on nearly every level. It’s a great option to help you move like your ancestors.

I hope you now see that truly active living is key to optimal well-being, and that as long as you sit for the bulk of your day, you run the health risks of a sedentary life. If you want to get the full benefits of exercise, it’s time to SWAP things up.

Now, I’d like to hear from you. What’s your exercise routine? How long do you sit in a typical day? Let me know below in the comments!

The post Why You Need to Move Every Day to Get the Benefits of Exercise appeared first on Chris Kresser.

Why You Need to Move Every Day to Get the Benefits of Exercise published first on https://drugaddictionsrehab.tumblr.com/

[edsenger]

Why You Need to Move Every Day to Get the Benefits of Exercise

Did I just describe you? If so, I applaud you for making time on your days off for physical activity. Unfortunately, such sporadic bursts aren’t enough to counteract the harmful effects prolonged sitting has on the mind and body. To get the benefits of exercise, you need to move much more often—every single day—by sitting much less. In other words, you have to swap your sedentary lifestyle for an active one.

Don’t panic: That doesn’t mean you have to find an extra hour in your busy day to get to the gym or a fitness class. By doing simple things like taking standing and walking breaks during work, plus occasionally engaging in brief but higher-intensity exercise, you’ll be moving like our active hunter–gatherer ancestors did and be well on your way to enjoying better health.

Think about your typical work day. Do you sit at a desk for eight hours, commute home in a car, and sit in front of the TV until bed? If so, you’re not getting the full benefits of exercise—even if your weekends are full of workouts. Find out why. #healthylifestyle #chriskresser

Six Reasons Why Sitting Is So Bad for Your Health

A sedentary lifestyle, comprising prolonged sitting and minimal physical activity, has a negative effect on nearly every aspect of human health. As a result, it increases your risk of developing serious chronic diseases and even early death. Although we’re not 100 percent sure why sitting raises these risks, thanks to the emergent field of sedentary physiology, we have some pretty good ideas. (1) For example, we know that sitting is associated with decreased calorie expenditure and poorer metabolic functioning, including reduced insulin sensitivity. (2) As I’ve discussed before, sitting too much can lead to weight gain over time—even if you’re exercising when you step away from your desk.

Avoiding the additional pounds isn’t the only reason to start moving. Here are six more evidence-backed reasons why you need to stop spending so much of your day sitting.

Reason #1: It’s Hazardous to Your Heart

Studies have linked being sedentary with cardiovascular disease (CVD), including coronary heart disease, stroke, heart attack, and CVD-related death. (3, 4) It appears that sitting decreases activity of the enzyme lipoprotein lipase (LPL), which leads to higher levels of triglycerides (a type of fat that moves through your bloodstream and is sometimes an indicator for CVD) and lower levels of HDL (“good” cholesterol). (5) Sitting too much has also been found to increase blood pressure and decrease the diameter of arteries, making heart disease more likely.

Reason #2: It Impairs Insulin Sensitivity, Putting You in the Diabetes Danger Zone

Sitting has been linked to insulin resistance, a risk factor for diabetes. In one investigation, on the day participants sat for five consecutive hours after consuming a high-calorie drink, their plasma insulin and glucose levels were more than 20 percent higher than on days when they interrupted sitting with short breaks. Other research suggests that sitting for just two hours after a meal could increase your blood sugar levels. Over time, that sets the stage for insulin resistance and diabetes. (6, 7)

Reason #3: You Set the Stage for Osteoporosis in Your Lifetime

Researchers now associate sitting with lower bone mineral density and osteoporosis in both men and women. (8, 9) The lower your bone mineral density—think calcium and phosphorus—the weaker your bones. Some of the latest studies have looked at adolescents and the amount of time they spend at a computer, watching television, or playing video games, finding a negative association between sitting and bone mineral content and density, particularly in teenage boys. (10, 11, 12)

Reason #4: You Boost Your Chance of Cancer ...

… by up to 66 percent, according to one study. (13) Researchers found sedentary behavior to be associated with a:

24 percent higher risk of developing colon cancer

32 percent greater chance of endometrial cancer

21 percent increased risk of lung cancer

Watching TV, in particular, was associated with a 54 percent higher likelihood of colon cancer and 66 percent greater chance of endometrial cancer. These links remained strong even in people who worked out regularly. A large study also linked sitting to a higher risk of breast cancer, ovarian cancer, and multiple myeloma. (14)

Reason #5: You Lose Your Mind—Literally

One recent study from UCLA reported that participants who sat for long stretches of time had thinning in regions of the brain involved in memory formation. This decreased thickness can serve as a precursor to cognitive decline and dementia. (15)

Reason #6: Ultimately, It Can Kill You

Multiple studies from around the globe have found an association between increased sedentary time and the risk of early death. In the summer of 2018, results of a survey of more than 125,000 adults were released that found that those who sat for six or more hours a day were 19 percent more likely to die over the next two decades than those who spent less time sitting once their workday was over. And the higher risk of death remained even in people who exercised. (16)

Think Exercise Is the Only Answer? Think Again

Notice something about many of the studies shared above? Several found the same negative health outcomes in people who were completely sedentary and “weekend warriors,” those who worked out but still spent the majority of each day seated. And there are many other studies that confirm those conclusions.

It’s clear: Exercise alone—including bursts of moderate to vigorous activity—can’t undo the damage caused by sitting.

Some research even suggests that people who exercise intensely, like marathon runners, are more likely to be sedentary when they’re not exercising, falsely assuming their training offers them the full benefits of exercise and protects them from the harmful effects of sitting. (17) What’s more, in some cases marathons, triathlons, and long-distance bicycle rides can result in overtraining, and studies have linked these activities with heart, muscle, and joint damage. (18, 19)

In industrialized societies, this “active couch potato” phenomenon has unfortunately become the norm rather than the exception. If you work in an office, commute by car, and watch a few hours of TV each night, it’s not hard to see how you could spend the vast majority of your waking life (up to 15 hours a day) sitting on your butt. This is far outside of the evolutionary norm for humans, and it has serious consequences for our health.

How to Get the Benefits of Exercise: Stop Being Sedentary and Move Like Your Ancestors

What is the evolutionary norm? Our hunter–gatherer ancestors didn’t work out; they just lived. They naturally spent a lot of time outdoors in the sun—walking, hunting, and gathering. They had to exert themselves, and often quite strenuously, to survive. Our ancestors sprinted, jogged, climbed, carried, and jumped intermittently throughout the day, on top of walking and running. They also alternated strenuous and demanding days with days of rest, an instinctual response that protected them from injury and fatigue.

You can mimic their approach today by becoming what I call an “organic mover,” a person who engages in lots of low-intensity physical activity along with distinct periods of higher-intensity exercise. SWAP your way to ancestral health: stand, walk, and push.

Stand

One of the easiest ways to undo the harmful effects of sitting is simply to stand up! Standing engages muscles that boost LPL activity and boosts your metabolism. (20) In general, I recommend standing or walking for at least 50 percent of your day.

Try this:

Use a standing desk. There are several types of standing desks on the market, ranging from stationary to adjustable models, or you can make one yourself. (A few low-tech ideas: Try putting your laptop on a sturdy box or crate, an old speaker stand, or even some stacked books.) Many employers permit them and even provide them for their employees.

Take standing breaks. If you’re unable to work at a standing desk, be sure to stand up for at least two minutes every 30 to 45 minutes, and either stretch or take a quick walk (do this when you’re sitting at home, too). Even short breaks like this can make a huge difference. Set a timer on your phone or look for an app that will remind you to move on a regular basis. Also try standing for part or all of your meetings.

Walk

Again, let’s keep it simple: Walk more and sit less. (Other light exercise such as gardening and household cleaning is also beneficial.) Research has shown that even low to moderate physical activity like walking lowers post-meal blood sugar, insulin, and triglyceride levels. (21)

Try this:

Walk while you work with a treadmill desk. I use a treadmill desk myself and average between 15,000 and 18,000 steps a day. As with standing desks, there are several options for configuration. You can buy a treadmill for an existing standing desk or buy a desk that fits above your existing treadmill.

Hold walking meetings. Who says meetings have to sit around a boardroom table?

Walk or bicycle to work. If you live too far away to walk or ride exclusively, consider driving part of the way and commuting on foot or bike for the remainder.

Use the stairs whenever possible, and rack up steps.

Find a hobby that moves you. Ballroom dancing, bowling, gardening, and cooking are fun choices that get you walking around. Pick something that’s fun and that fits your lifestyle—that’s the key to sticking with it.

Push

In addition to standing and walking more, you need to occasionally push yourself as our ancestors did with bouts of more intense exercise; just don’t overdo it. I recommend following the guidelines established by my friend and colleague Dan Pardi.

Try this:

Aim for 150 minutes of moderate-intensity exercise per week (jogging, yoga, or dancing), which requires 50 to 70 percent of your maximum effort to perform; OR

Get 75 minutes of vigorous-intensity activity a week (running, Zumba, or sports), which takes 70 to 90 percent of your maximum effort; OR

Complete 30 sets (roughly 30 minutes) of highest-intensity exercise per week (sprinting, jumping rope, or resistance training), which needs greater than 90 percent of your maximum effort; OR

Do some combination of the above.

A note about your maximum effort: I use percentages here because your “maximum effort” will differ from someone else’s based on a number of factors. Someone who’s living a sedentary lifestyle, for example, might consider a light jog to be a vigorous-intensity workout, while a runner might call it moderate. The key is to pay attention to your body and push yourself.

The third bullet refers to a type of exercise often called high-intensity interval training (HIIT), which involves performing movements at very high intensity for very short periods of time, usually between 30 seconds and two minutes. If you’ve been taught that “chronic cardio” (as Mark Sisson calls it) is the way to go, this approach may seem too good to be true, yet studies have found HIIT superior on nearly every level. It’s a great option to help you move like your ancestors.

I hope you now see that truly active living is key to optimal well-being, and that as long as you sit for the bulk of your day, you run the health risks of a sedentary life. If you want to get the full benefits of exercise, it’s time to SWAP things up.

Now, I’d like to hear from you. What’s your exercise routine? How long do you sit in a typical day? Let me know below in the comments!

The post Why You Need to Move Every Day to Get the Benefits of Exercise appeared first on Chris Kresser.

Why You Need to Move Every Day to Get the Benefits of Exercise published first on https://brightendentalhouston.weebly.com/

[denisalvney]

Why You Need to Move Every Day to Get the Benefits of Exercise

Did I just describe you? If so, I applaud you for making time on your days off for physical activity. Unfortunately, such sporadic bursts aren’t enough to counteract the harmful effects prolonged sitting has on the mind and body. To get the benefits of exercise, you need to move much more often—every single day—by sitting much less. In other words, you have to swap your sedentary lifestyle for an active one.

Don’t panic: That doesn’t mean you have to find an extra hour in your busy day to get to the gym or a fitness class. By doing simple things like taking standing and walking breaks during work, plus occasionally engaging in brief but higher-intensity exercise, you’ll be moving like our active hunter–gatherer ancestors did and be well on your way to enjoying better health.

Think about your typical work day. Do you sit at a desk for eight hours, commute home in a car, and sit in front of the TV until bed? If so, you’re not getting the full benefits of exercise—even if your weekends are full of workouts. Find out why. #healthylifestyle #chriskresser

Six Reasons Why Sitting Is So Bad for Your Health

A sedentary lifestyle, comprising prolonged sitting and minimal physical activity, has a negative effect on nearly every aspect of human health. As a result, it increases your risk of developing serious chronic diseases and even early death. Although we’re not 100 percent sure why sitting raises these risks, thanks to the emergent field of sedentary physiology, we have some pretty good ideas. (1) For example, we know that sitting is associated with decreased calorie expenditure and poorer metabolic functioning, including reduced insulin sensitivity. (2) As I’ve discussed before, sitting too much can lead to weight gain over time—even if you’re exercising when you step away from your desk.

Avoiding the additional pounds isn’t the only reason to start moving. Here are six more evidence-backed reasons why you need to stop spending so much of your day sitting.

Reason #1: It’s Hazardous to Your Heart

Studies have linked being sedentary with cardiovascular disease (CVD), including coronary heart disease, stroke, heart attack, and CVD-related death. (3, 4) It appears that sitting decreases activity of the enzyme lipoprotein lipase (LPL), which leads to higher levels of triglycerides (a type of fat that moves through your bloodstream and is sometimes an indicator for CVD) and lower levels of HDL (“good” cholesterol). (5) Sitting too much has also been found to increase blood pressure and decrease the diameter of arteries, making heart disease more likely.

Reason #2: It Impairs Insulin Sensitivity, Putting You in the Diabetes Danger Zone

Sitting has been linked to insulin resistance, a risk factor for diabetes. In one investigation, on the day participants sat for five consecutive hours after consuming a high-calorie drink, their plasma insulin and glucose levels were more than 20 percent higher than on days when they interrupted sitting with short breaks. Other research suggests that sitting for just two hours after a meal could increase your blood sugar levels. Over time, that sets the stage for insulin resistance and diabetes. (6, 7)

Reason #3: You Set the Stage for Osteoporosis in Your Lifetime

Researchers now associate sitting with lower bone mineral density and osteoporosis in both men and women. (8, 9) The lower your bone mineral density—think calcium and phosphorus—the weaker your bones. Some of the latest studies have looked at adolescents and the amount of time they spend at a computer, watching television, or playing video games, finding a negative association between sitting and bone mineral content and density, particularly in teenage boys. (10, 11, 12)

Reason #4: You Boost Your Chance of Cancer ...

… by up to 66 percent, according to one study. (13) Researchers found sedentary behavior to be associated with a:

24 percent higher risk of developing colon cancer

32 percent greater chance of endometrial cancer

21 percent increased risk of lung cancer

Watching TV, in particular, was associated with a 54 percent higher likelihood of colon cancer and 66 percent greater chance of endometrial cancer. These links remained strong even in people who worked out regularly. A large study also linked sitting to a higher risk of breast cancer, ovarian cancer, and multiple myeloma. (14)

Reason #5: You Lose Your Mind—Literally

One recent study from UCLA reported that participants who sat for long stretches of time had thinning in regions of the brain involved in memory formation. This decreased thickness can serve as a precursor to cognitive decline and dementia. (15)

Reason #6: Ultimately, It Can Kill You

Multiple studies from around the globe have found an association between increased sedentary time and the risk of early death. In the summer of 2018, results of a survey of more than 125,000 adults were released that found that those who sat for six or more hours a day were 19 percent more likely to die over the next two decades than those who spent less time sitting once their workday was over. And the higher risk of death remained even in people who exercised. (16)

Think Exercise Is the Only Answer? Think Again

Notice something about many of the studies shared above? Several found the same negative health outcomes in people who were completely sedentary and “weekend warriors,” those who worked out but still spent the majority of each day seated. And there are many other studies that confirm those conclusions.

It’s clear: Exercise alone—including bursts of moderate to vigorous activity—can’t undo the damage caused by sitting.

Some research even suggests that people who exercise intensely, like marathon runners, are more likely to be sedentary when they’re not exercising, falsely assuming their training offers them the full benefits of exercise and protects them from the harmful effects of sitting. (17) What’s more, in some cases marathons, triathlons, and long-distance bicycle rides can result in overtraining, and studies have linked these activities with heart, muscle, and joint damage. (18, 19)

In industrialized societies, this “active couch potato” phenomenon has unfortunately become the norm rather than the exception. If you work in an office, commute by car, and watch a few hours of TV each night, it’s not hard to see how you could spend the vast majority of your waking life (up to 15 hours a day) sitting on your butt. This is far outside of the evolutionary norm for humans, and it has serious consequences for our health.

How to Get the Benefits of Exercise: Stop Being Sedentary and Move Like Your Ancestors

What is the evolutionary norm? Our hunter–gatherer ancestors didn’t work out; they just lived. They naturally spent a lot of time outdoors in the sun—walking, hunting, and gathering. They had to exert themselves, and often quite strenuously, to survive. Our ancestors sprinted, jogged, climbed, carried, and jumped intermittently throughout the day, on top of walking and running. They also alternated strenuous and demanding days with days of rest, an instinctual response that protected them from injury and fatigue.

You can mimic their approach today by becoming what I call an “organic mover,” a person who engages in lots of low-intensity physical activity along with distinct periods of higher-intensity exercise. SWAP your way to ancestral health: stand, walk, and push.

Stand

One of the easiest ways to undo the harmful effects of sitting is simply to stand up! Standing engages muscles that boost LPL activity and boosts your metabolism. (20) In general, I recommend standing or walking for at least 50 percent of your day.

Try this:

Use a standing desk. There are several types of standing desks on the market, ranging from stationary to adjustable models, or you can make one yourself. (A few low-tech ideas: Try putting your laptop on a sturdy box or crate, an old speaker stand, or even some stacked books.) Many employers permit them and even provide them for their employees.

Take standing breaks. If you’re unable to work at a standing desk, be sure to stand up for at least two minutes every 30 to 45 minutes, and either stretch or take a quick walk (do this when you’re sitting at home, too). Even short breaks like this can make a huge difference. Set a timer on your phone or look for an app that will remind you to move on a regular basis. Also try standing for part or all of your meetings.

Walk

Again, let’s keep it simple: Walk more and sit less. (Other light exercise such as gardening and household cleaning is also beneficial.) Research has shown that even low to moderate physical activity like walking lowers post-meal blood sugar, insulin, and triglyceride levels. (21)

Try this:

Walk while you work with a treadmill desk. I use a treadmill desk myself and average between 15,000 and 18,000 steps a day. As with standing desks, there are several options for configuration. You can buy a treadmill for an existing standing desk or buy a desk that fits above your existing treadmill.

Hold walking meetings. Who says meetings have to sit around a boardroom table?

Walk or bicycle to work. If you live too far away to walk or ride exclusively, consider driving part of the way and commuting on foot or bike for the remainder.

Use the stairs whenever possible, and rack up steps.

Find a hobby that moves you. Ballroom dancing, bowling, gardening, and cooking are fun choices that get you walking around. Pick something that’s fun and that fits your lifestyle—that’s the key to sticking with it.

Push

In addition to standing and walking more, you need to occasionally push yourself as our ancestors did with bouts of more intense exercise; just don’t overdo it. I recommend following the guidelines established by my friend and colleague Dan Pardi.

Try this:

Aim for 150 minutes of moderate-intensity exercise per week (jogging, yoga, or dancing), which requires 50 to 70 percent of your maximum effort to perform; OR

Get 75 minutes of vigorous-intensity activity a week (running, Zumba, or sports), which takes 70 to 90 percent of your maximum effort; OR

Complete 30 sets (roughly 30 minutes) of highest-intensity exercise per week (sprinting, jumping rope, or resistance training), which needs greater than 90 percent of your maximum effort; OR

Do some combination of the above.

A note about your maximum effort: I use percentages here because your “maximum effort” will differ from someone else’s based on a number of factors. Someone who’s living a sedentary lifestyle, for example, might consider a light jog to be a vigorous-intensity workout, while a runner might call it moderate. The key is to pay attention to your body and push yourself.

The third bullet refers to a type of exercise often called high-intensity interval training (HIIT), which involves performing movements at very high intensity for very short periods of time, usually between 30 seconds and two minutes. If you’ve been taught that “chronic cardio” (as Mark Sisson calls it) is the way to go, this approach may seem too good to be true, yet studies have found HIIT superior on nearly every level. It’s a great option to help you move like your ancestors.

I hope you now see that truly active living is key to optimal well-being, and that as long as you sit for the bulk of your day, you run the health risks of a sedentary life. If you want to get the full benefits of exercise, it’s time to SWAP things up.

Now, I’d like to hear from you. What’s your exercise routine? How long do you sit in a typical day? Let me know below in the comments!

The post Why You Need to Move Every Day to Get the Benefits of Exercise appeared first on Chris Kresser.

Why You Need to Move Every Day to Get the Benefits of Exercise published first on https://chriskresser.com

[shapesnnsizes]

Why You Need to Move Every Day to Get the Benefits of Exercise

Did I just describe you? If so, I applaud you for making time on your days off for physical activity. Unfortunately, such sporadic bursts aren’t enough to counteract the harmful effects prolonged sitting has on the mind and body. To get the benefits of exercise, you need to move much more often—every single day—by sitting much less. In other words, you have to swap your sedentary lifestyle for an active one.

Don’t panic: That doesn’t mean you have to find an extra hour in your busy day to get to the gym or a fitness class. By doing simple things like taking standing and walking breaks during work, plus occasionally engaging in brief but higher-intensity exercise, you’ll be moving like our active hunter–gatherer ancestors did and be well on your way to enjoying better health.

Think about your typical work day. Do you sit at a desk for eight hours, commute home in a car, and sit in front of the TV until bed? If so, you’re not getting the full benefits of exercise—even if your weekends are full of workouts. Find out why. #healthylifestyle #chriskresser

Six Reasons Why Sitting Is So Bad for Your Health

A sedentary lifestyle, comprising prolonged sitting and minimal physical activity, has a negative effect on nearly every aspect of human health. As a result, it increases your risk of developing serious chronic diseases and even early death. Although we’re not 100 percent sure why sitting raises these risks, thanks to the emergent field of sedentary physiology, we have some pretty good ideas. (1) For example, we know that sitting is associated with decreased calorie expenditure and poorer metabolic functioning, including reduced insulin sensitivity. (2) As I’ve discussed before, sitting too much can lead to weight gain over time—even if you’re exercising when you step away from your desk.

Avoiding the additional pounds isn’t the only reason to start moving. Here are six more evidence-backed reasons why you need to stop spending so much of your day sitting.

Reason #1: It’s Hazardous to Your Heart

Studies have linked being sedentary with cardiovascular disease (CVD), including coronary heart disease, stroke, heart attack, and CVD-related death. (3, 4) It appears that sitting decreases activity of the enzyme lipoprotein lipase (LPL), which leads to higher levels of triglycerides (a type of fat that moves through your bloodstream and is sometimes an indicator for CVD) and lower levels of HDL (“good” cholesterol). (5) Sitting too much has also been found to increase blood pressure and decrease the diameter of arteries, making heart disease more likely.

Reason #2: It Impairs Insulin Sensitivity, Putting You in the Diabetes Danger Zone

Sitting has been linked to insulin resistance, a risk factor for diabetes. In one investigation, on the day participants sat for five consecutive hours after consuming a high-calorie drink, their plasma insulin and glucose levels were more than 20 percent higher than on days when they interrupted sitting with short breaks. Other research suggests that sitting for just two hours after a meal could increase your blood sugar levels. Over time, that sets the stage for insulin resistance and diabetes. (6, 7)

Reason #3: You Set the Stage for Osteoporosis in Your Lifetime

Researchers now associate sitting with lower bone mineral density and osteoporosis in both men and women. (8, 9) The lower your bone mineral density—think calcium and phosphorus—the weaker your bones. Some of the latest studies have looked at adolescents and the amount of time they spend at a computer, watching television, or playing video games, finding a negative association between sitting and bone mineral content and density, particularly in teenage boys. (10, 11, 12)

Reason #4: You Boost Your Chance of Cancer ...

… by up to 66 percent, according to one study. (13) Researchers found sedentary behavior to be associated with a:

24 percent higher risk of developing colon cancer

32 percent greater chance of endometrial cancer

21 percent increased risk of lung cancer

Watching TV, in particular, was associated with a 54 percent higher likelihood of colon cancer and 66 percent greater chance of endometrial cancer. These links remained strong even in people who worked out regularly. A large study also linked sitting to a higher risk of breast cancer, ovarian cancer, and multiple myeloma. (14)

Reason #5: You Lose Your Mind—Literally

One recent study from UCLA reported that participants who sat for long stretches of time had thinning in regions of the brain involved in memory formation. This decreased thickness can serve as a precursor to cognitive decline and dementia. (15)

Reason #6: Ultimately, It Can Kill You

Multiple studies from around the globe have found an association between increased sedentary time and the risk of early death. In the summer of 2018, results of a survey of more than 125,000 adults were released that found that those who sat for six or more hours a day were 19 percent more likely to die over the next two decades than those who spent less time sitting once their workday was over. And the higher risk of death remained even in people who exercised. (16)

Think Exercise Is the Only Answer? Think Again

Notice something about many of the studies shared above? Several found the same negative health outcomes in people who were completely sedentary and “weekend warriors,” those who worked out but still spent the majority of each day seated. And there are many other studies that confirm those conclusions.

It’s clear: Exercise alone—including bursts of moderate to vigorous activity—can’t undo the damage caused by sitting.

Some research even suggests that people who exercise intensely, like marathon runners, are more likely to be sedentary when they’re not exercising, falsely assuming their training offers them the full benefits of exercise and protects them from the harmful effects of sitting. (17) What’s more, in some cases marathons, triathlons, and long-distance bicycle rides can result in overtraining, and studies have linked these activities with heart, muscle, and joint damage. (18, 19)

In industrialized societies, this “active couch potato” phenomenon has unfortunately become the norm rather than the exception. If you work in an office, commute by car, and watch a few hours of TV each night, it’s not hard to see how you could spend the vast majority of your waking life (up to 15 hours a day) sitting on your butt. This is far outside of the evolutionary norm for humans, and it has serious consequences for our health.

How to Get the Benefits of Exercise: Stop Being Sedentary and Move Like Your Ancestors

What is the evolutionary norm? Our hunter–gatherer ancestors didn’t work out; they just lived. They naturally spent a lot of time outdoors in the sun—walking, hunting, and gathering. They had to exert themselves, and often quite strenuously, to survive. Our ancestors sprinted, jogged, climbed, carried, and jumped intermittently throughout the day, on top of walking and running. They also alternated strenuous and demanding days with days of rest, an instinctual response that protected them from injury and fatigue.

You can mimic their approach today by becoming what I call an “organic mover,” a person who engages in lots of low-intensity physical activity along with distinct periods of higher-intensity exercise. SWAP your way to ancestral health: stand, walk, and push.

Stand

One of the easiest ways to undo the harmful effects of sitting is simply to stand up! Standing engages muscles that boost LPL activity and boosts your metabolism. (20) In general, I recommend standing or walking for at least 50 percent of your day.

Try this:

Use a standing desk. There are several types of standing desks on the market, ranging from stationary to adjustable models, or you can make one yourself. (A few low-tech ideas: Try putting your laptop on a sturdy box or crate, an old speaker stand, or even some stacked books.) Many employers permit them and even provide them for their employees.

Take standing breaks. If you’re unable to work at a standing desk, be sure to stand up for at least two minutes every 30 to 45 minutes, and either stretch or take a quick walk (do this when you’re sitting at home, too). Even short breaks like this can make a huge difference. Set a timer on your phone or look for an app that will remind you to move on a regular basis. Also try standing for part or all of your meetings.

Walk

Again, let’s keep it simple: Walk more and sit less. (Other light exercise such as gardening and household cleaning is also beneficial.) Research has shown that even low to moderate physical activity like walking lowers post-meal blood sugar, insulin, and triglyceride levels. (21)

Try this:

Walk while you work with a treadmill desk. I use a treadmill desk myself and average between 15,000 and 18,000 steps a day. As with standing desks, there are several options for configuration. You can buy a treadmill for an existing standing desk or buy a desk that fits above your existing treadmill.

Hold walking meetings. Who says meetings have to sit around a boardroom table?

Walk or bicycle to work. If you live too far away to walk or ride exclusively, consider driving part of the way and commuting on foot or bike for the remainder.

Use the stairs whenever possible, and rack up steps.

Find a hobby that moves you. Ballroom dancing, bowling, gardening, and cooking are fun choices that get you walking around. Pick something that’s fun and that fits your lifestyle—that’s the key to sticking with it.

Push

In addition to standing and walking more, you need to occasionally push yourself as our ancestors did with bouts of more intense exercise; just don’t overdo it. I recommend following the guidelines established by my friend and colleague Dan Pardi.

Try this:

Aim for 150 minutes of moderate-intensity exercise per week (jogging, yoga, or dancing), which requires 50 to 70 percent of your maximum effort to perform; OR

Get 75 minutes of vigorous-intensity activity a week (running, Zumba, or sports), which takes 70 to 90 percent of your maximum effort; OR

Complete 30 sets (roughly 30 minutes) of highest-intensity exercise per week (sprinting, jumping rope, or resistance training), which needs greater than 90 percent of your maximum effort; OR

Do some combination of the above.

A note about your maximum effort: I use percentages here because your “maximum effort” will differ from someone else’s based on a number of factors. Someone who’s living a sedentary lifestyle, for example, might consider a light jog to be a vigorous-intensity workout, while a runner might call it moderate. The key is to pay attention to your body and push yourself.

The third bullet refers to a type of exercise often called high-intensity interval training (HIIT), which involves performing movements at very high intensity for very short periods of time, usually between 30 seconds and two minutes. If you’ve been taught that “chronic cardio” (as Mark Sisson calls it) is the way to go, this approach may seem too good to be true, yet studies have found HIIT superior on nearly every level. It’s a great option to help you move like your ancestors.

I hope you now see that truly active living is key to optimal well-being, and that as long as you sit for the bulk of your day, you run the health risks of a sedentary life. If you want to get the full benefits of exercise, it’s time to SWAP things up.

Now, I’d like to hear from you. What’s your exercise routine? How long do you sit in a typical day? Let me know below in the comments!

The post Why You Need to Move Every Day to Get the Benefits of Exercise appeared first on Chris Kresser.

[thrashermaxey]

Ramblings: Kopitar’s Consistency, Hamilton’s Hattie (Feb 18)

Kopitar’s Consistency, Hamilton’s Hattie, plus more…

Two Kings’ forwards scored two goals on Saturday. You’ve heard of one of them, but you may not have heard of the other one.

Anze Kopitar has been an example of consistency throughout his career, as he has reached 25 goals for the eighth time in his career after scoring two goals on Saturday. After barely finishing in the top 100 with 0.68 P/GP last season, he is having a nice bounceback campaign, as he is back within the top 20 with 1.09 P/GP. He has also been very consistent recently, scoring 17 points over his last 15 games. A coaching change from Darryl Sutter’s stifling defensive strategy to John Stevens and Pierre Turgeon’s more up-tempo strategy has had a major positive fantasy impact on Kopitar.  

Some other factors are at play for Kopitar. He is also shooting the puck again, as he is on pace for nearly 200 shots, a number that he has not reached since the 2013-14 season. As well, his icetime is up more than a minute per game, which might have something to do with fellow center Jeff Carter’s injury. Only Aleksander Barkov has a higher icetime per game than Kopitar (21:56). So Carter’s return could be a concern, as it could slightly cut into Kopitar’s fantasy value.

The other Kings’ forward to score two goals was Michael Amadio. He probably hasn’t been on your fantasy radar because he plays in the Kings’ bottom six and hadn’t recorded a point in his previous seven games. Amadio is listed as one of the Kings’ top 10 prospects according to Dobber Prospects, though (view his prospect profile here).

Is Dion Phaneuf being used in a lesser role with the Kings? In his Kings’ debut on Thursday he logged just under 19 minutes of icetime, which is understandable if it’s his first game playing in a new system. But on Saturday he was on the ice for just 14:18.

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If the rumors are true about Derick Brassard being a serious trade target for the Blues, he has sure aided his own trade value over the past week. With a goal and two assists on Saturday, Brassard now has goals in four consecutive games and five of his last six games. This recent run of success was preceded by an eight-game pointless drought, so any real and fantasy teams interested in Brassard could experience both peaks and valleys.

With a goal and an assist on Saturday, Matt Duchene now has six points (2g-4a) over his last three games and 12 points (4g-8a) over his last nine games. His acquisition might not have been a wise idea for the Senators considering their downward trend and his lack of scoring shortly after the trade, but at least his season has gotten back on track. In fact, his shooting percentage has recovered to 11.7%, which is in line with his career average. I’ve mentioned before that the Senators have a favorable fantasy playoff schedule, so he shouldn’t be that bad a player to own the rest of the way.

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The Rangers are hoping the NHL’s other teams saw this stat on Michael Grabner, thus boosting his trade value:  

Michael Grabner is tied for fourth in the NHL in even strength goals this season (23), trailing only Nikita Kucherov (26), Alex Ovechkin (24), and Auston Matthews (24). #NYR

— NYR Stats & Info (@NYRStatsInfo) February 17, 2018

With two goals on Saturday, Grabner now has 25 goals, which makes him a top-25 goal scorer spanning both this season and last. Of all the players to score a combined 50 goals over this season and last, no one has fewer assists (19) and fewer shots on goal (288) than Grabner. He is clearly an option if you need help with goals, but he won’t fill your other categories. Plus with him being a potential trade target, we can’t guarantee that he’ll continue this goal-scoring pace rest of the way, let alone contribute in any other categories.

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After leaving Antti Raanta on the bench on one of my teams for much of the season, I’ve decided to move him into the starting lineup since his play has improved recently. Raanta continued his stellar play on Saturday, stopping all 40 shots in shutting out the Oilers. Raanta has won each of his last three starts (albeit against teams that do not occupy playoff spots, but you have to play those teams too). He might even be a candidate for one of the NHL’s Three Stars this week, as he has an exceptional 0.91 GAA and .976 SV% this week in those three wins. He’s only owned in 27 percent of Yahoo leagues, so he could be in the mix if you need goalie help.

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The Evgeni Malkin–Bryan Rust–Carl Hagelin line did some damage on Saturday against the Leafs, combining for eight points. Malkin recorded three points himself and was trying for the empty-netter to get the fourth points. That kind of effort will endear himself to his fantasy owners.

We know that Malkin has been healthy all season and has been scoring at an eye-popping rate (1.20 P/GP, fourth in the NHL). Rust and Hagelin are more dependent on their linemates for points, although this is a good opportunity to bring up their recent production. Hagelin has 15 points over his last 17 games. Rust has 13 points over his last 12 games, thanks to his three points on Saturday. On a team whose big 3 (Malkin, Sidney Crosby, Phil Kessel) are in the top 10 in scoring, these are two under-the-radar options that are owned in very few leagues.

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Meanwhile in Vegas, Jonathan Marchessault added another three assists, giving him a place in the league’s top 20 in scoring with 58 points in just 55 games. He’s the Golden Knights’ leading scorer, yet he averages only 17 minutes per game. Of players in the top 50 in scoring, no one has a lower TOI/GP than Marchessault. That makes me think that there’s the potential for even more, although more icetime could be offset by an inevitable decline in production by both Reilly Smith and William Karlsson.

Speaking of Smith, he scored two goals and added an assist, extending his point streak to seven games. Over that stretch he’s scored 12 points (5g-7a). He’s also now reached 50 points for the third time in his career, with the potential for much more before the season is said and done. Smith is the fourth Golden Knight to reach the 50-point mark, one that we didn’t think four VGK players would reach all season before the team even dropped the puck in its first game. (Remember when we thought Vadim Shipachyov would lead this team in scoring with around 50 points?) Another benefit to owning Smith is that he has been very durable, only missing three games over his past five season.

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All these point-per-game players made me think, how many more players are above the point-per-game mark this season compared to last season? Although regression from a larger sample size will hit some of these players, 25 players are currently scoring at a point per game or higher in 2017-18 (minimum 30 games played). As for 2016-17 (minimum 40 games played), only eight players scored at a point per game or higher. That’s some kind of difference.

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So is Taylor Hall’s point streak 10 games – the number of games he has played since returning from injury, or 17 games – the number of consecutive games he has played where he has scored at least a point?  

It’s a wonder how Miles Wood only received a two-minute penalty after this dangerous hit on Vladislav Namestnikov. If you don’t like blood, don’t watch this video, as Andrej Sustr’s face was bloodied and his visor broke in half when he fought Wood in retaliation.

{youtube}PCRgGZXDGCY{/youtube}

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In spite of scoring a goal and adding two assists on Saturday, Jonathan Toews is still on pace for his third consecutive sub-60 point season. Unless you can draft him relatively low, you’re better off letting someone else draft Toews higher than he should go because of his name value. Toews is at least holding his own in the shots on goal category, as his 173 shots places him in the same company as Malkin, Crosby, Gaudreau, Laine, and Stamkos. Although Toews has just 16 goals, he may encounter some better luck soon.

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Tuukka Rask had been lights out for his fantasy owners for about two and a half months, so it was inevitable that he would lay an egg at some point. You probably didn’t think he would crash so suddenly in the first period against Vancouver, allowing four goals on eight shots. Don’t panic, though. The Bruins play 16 games in March, so you may want to retain his services for some very important games for your fantasy team.

The Bruins’ busy schedule in March could mean more work for Anton Khudobin. Although there are only two sets of back-to-back games that month, the Bruins have an Atlantic Division playoff spot well in hand and could simply be jockeying for position with Tampa Bay and Toronto. In case you hadn’t noticed, Khudobin has been one of the league’s better backups with a 2.34 GAA and .923 SV% in 21 games. 

If you need to project the number of games played for any team over a given week, don’t forget about the Frozen Pool Fantasy Game Planner.

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Whenever Loui Eriksson scores a goal, it costs the Canucks nearly a million dollars. He gave them a discount on Saturday by scoring two goals. Canucks’ fans had been asking why Sven Baertschi and not Eriksson was healthy scratched on Thursday. “Eriksson is a key penalty killer for the Canucks” was an explanation that I heard on one local Vancouver sports radio program. Eriksson entered Saturday’s game without a point in his previous seven games and without a goal in his previous ten games, so he shouldn’t be on your fantasy radar.

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Hat tricks among defensemen are rare. So Dougie Hamilton owners will gladly take his three goals on Saturday. With 13 goals, Hamilton is only behind P.K. Subban for goals by a defenseman. Hamilton’s success in scoring goals (double-digit goal totals in each of the last four seasons) comes from his ability to take shots. Hamilton’s 180 shots on goal places him in the top 5 in that category. Hamilton also has 12 points over his last 11 games.

Something that is helping Hamilton’s cause at the moment: he has logged at least seven minutes of power-play time in three of his last five games. The Flames haven’t always used Hamilton on the first-unit power play, but they are now. Both player are team are benefitting.

Johnny Gaudreau left Saturday’s game briefly after taking a puck near his face, but he fortunately returned to the game. Sigh of relief for Flames fans and his fantasy owners.

Roberto Luongo made his first start in over two months, stopping 30 of 33 shots in earning a win against the Flames. The Panthers’ goaltending situation has been a difficult one to project, as both Luongo and James Reimer have missed time due to injury. I’d have to predict a 50-50 split for the rest of the season.

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For more fantasy hockey information, you can follow me on Twitter @Ian_Gooding.

from All About Sports https://dobberhockey.com/hockey-rambling/ramblings-kopitars-consistency-hamiltons-hattie-feb-18/

[flauntpage]

The Heisman Race Is Saquon Barkley vs. One Other Guy

I’ve seen at least 10,000 promos for tomorrow night’s Penn State/Michigan game featuring that terrible “Walk on Water” song by 30 Seconds to Mars. It’s almost as bad as the Hyundai “Sweet Caroline” commercial.

But don’t be deterred by ESPN’s horrendous song choice, because this game is gonna be a banger featuring college football’s most exciting player. It’s not John O’Korn, it’s future 49er Saquon Barkley, who can put a Ted Nugent-style stranglehold on the Heisman Trophy race with a winning performance in Happy Valley.

College Gameday comes to Penn State as the Lions try to avenge last season’s 49-10 road loss. Barkley only ran for 59 yards in Ann Arbor last year and will match up this time against a Wolverine defense that ranks top-10 in almost every single meaningful category. They’re allowing just 85.8 ground yards and 14.7 points per game. Penn State has pretty much clobbered five of six opponents this season, so something has to give on Saturday night.

Barkley’s main competition for the Heisman is a west coast running back, but let’s start by eliminating four other contenders:

Baker Mayfield (Oklahoma QB)

Heisman trophy winners don’t lose at home to Iowa State. Mayfield did go 24-33 for 306 yards and two touchdowns in that game, but he was disappointing in the second half. Still, he’s got a 17 to 1 touchdown/interception ratio and will keep himself in the conversation unless Oklahoma loses at Oklahoma State or at home the following week against TCU.

Mason Rudolph (Oklahoma State QB)

He’ll be overshadowed by Mayfield the rest of the way. The early loss to TCU also took the Cowboys out of the national spotlight. They probably won’t win Bedlam, which might be a Heisman elimination game for Rudolph and Mayfield.

Plus, Big 12 defenses blow and I’m highly cautious in overvaluing quarterback play in that conference. That’s why I really can’t get behind Mayfield or Rudolph.

Jonathan Taylor (Wisconsin RB)

A phenomenal freshman runner (and South Jersey native) who doesn’t catch the ball. He’ll be an early favorite for next year’s Heisman.

Lamar Jackson (Louisville QB)

An elite talent who has had to do it all himself this season. Someone give him some help.

Anyway, Barkley’s competition for the Heisman is this guy:

Bryce Love (Stanford RB)

Let’s start with his season stats. The Cardinal running back is averaging 10.3 (!) yards per carry and is on pace for a 2,000 yard and 18 touchdown season:

Love is just nasty on the ground. He’s a burner with next-level speed and the ability to blaze through holes. He ran for 263 and 301 yards in back-to-back games. Those are video game numbers.

Most of Love’s game film is him showing patience, following great blocks, and then bursting for big gains. At 5’10”, 196, he’s not going to break a ton of tackles, but you’ll see him easily shrug off arm tackles with his downhill speed. He won’t jump cut like an elite NFL runner, but he’s quick enough laterally to take the ball outside for big gains.

Love’s offensive line is one of the best in the country. There’s a reason Stanford has sent 10 O-linemen and tight ends to the NFL in the past five drafts.

Stanford is always a disciplined and focused pro-style team in a conference that features a smattering of spread offenses. I’m not surprised when I see clips like this:

Love’s main weakness is that he’s basically nonexistent in the passing game. He has four catches for 19 yards this season. He also doesn’t feature in the return game, which is Cameron Scarlett’s territory. His skill-set is narrow in that regard, but he absolutely excels at the one thing he’s asked to do.

I don’t know what his NFL draft stock looks like, but Love would be a 100% perfect fit as a scat back in the New England Patriots’ system.

Saquon Barkley

His pure numbers are not as flashy as Love’s:

Barkley doesn’t have nearly as many carries as his Stanford counterpart for two reasons:

PSU has only played six games (no duh)

The Lions have killed every opponent except for one. Barkley ran it 28 times in the comeback win against Iowa.

I don’t know how many times he carries it tomorrow night. Michigan’s run defense is excellent, which means he might have to do more damage in the passing game, like he did in last year’s game (5 grabs for 77 yards).

Let’s start there.

Barkley has incredible hands and has put up some receiver-like numbers as a running back. His route-running is excellent. He went for 94 yards in the Iowa win and ripped off gains of 46 and 36 against Pitt and Indiana. He also returns kicks and took one 98 yards to the house against Indiana. Compared with Love, he’s obviously the more versatile player when it comes to all-purpose yardage, which I think carries more value overall, especially when viewing him as an NFL prospect. For that reason alone, his overall touches eclipse Love’s, even with one fewer game played.

Specifically, Barkley is so good at cutting, stopping, and restarting. His side-to-side movement and balance are second to none and he compiles more highlight-reel clips than anyone else. Those things go a long way in the optics department for casual fans who don’t watch a ton of college football (i.e. most NFL fans on the eastern seaboard). He’s got 30 pounds on Love, so you’d think Barkley might not be as shifty, but I don’t think that’s the case at all.

Barkley’s offensive line is not as good as Love’s. He’s not going to get gaping holes to run through. While that limits his yardage and his overall statistical numbers, you do get to see more of those Barry Sanders-esque evasive movements.

I also don’t know if Barkley has “elite” speed, but it’s not like he’s lacking in that department.

  Two more things to consider

It’s probably going to come down to these two guys for the Heisman race if they continue to play at their current levels.

These intangibles might come into play:

Strength of schedule: I think they’re almost identical. Penn State played cupcakes early but won at Iowa. They host Michigan before going to Ohio State and Michigan State in consecutive weeks. If the Lions run that gauntlet unscathed, Barkley wins the trophy. He’d just be padding his stats at home against Rutgers and Nebraska before the season finale at Maryland. I don’t think it even matters what happens in the Big 10 title game if they get there. For what it’s worth, Barkley had 100 all-purpose yards and two touchdowns against Wisconsin last year.

Stanford doesn’t have it easy though. They had a nice win at #20 Utah but lost at USC and San Diego State (they’re good this year). Love still has to run it against three top-15 teams in Washington, Washington State, and Notre Dame. Stanford might be 7-5 or 8-4 at the end of the year, which might make it tough to keep Love in the conversation. Penn State probably goes 11-1 or 10-2 because I just don’t see how they can get it done at OSU and MSU in back-to-back weeks. I still think Barkley can win the trophy even if the Lions hit a bump or two in the road. Love has less wiggle room in this area.

East coast bias: Fewer people see Pac-12 games because they’re in bed or out doing something else on Saturday night. Stanford’s upcoming national TV game against Washington doesn’t even start until 10:30 eastern. Barkley has more eyeballs on him because he gets those east coast noon and primetime games. It’s a really underrated topic. Think about Chip Kelly drafting all of those Oregon players for the Eagles. How many of those guys were you really familiar with?

I think Barkley is the better player overall, but don’t sleep on Love, who puts up ridiculous numbers behind a greatoffensive line. If the Lions slip up in these next two weeks, knee-jerk America might start to sour on Saquon as we get closer to the December 10th Heisman ceremony.

Both players are incredible talents, but it should be clear to anyone who watches the film that Barkley is the superior player.

Saquon Barkley will go really high in the draft #PennState http://pic.twitter.com/In9QAWjSE3

— John Middlekauff (@JohnMiddlekauff) October 18, 2017

The Heisman Race Is Saquon Barkley vs. One Other Guy published first on http://ift.tt/2pLTmlv